#I'm catching feelings I'll say that

[dimension-20-every-introduction]

Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 17

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch

[feroluce]

Lucid Dreamer (2/2)

part 1

Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.

It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.

But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.

There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.

Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.

Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.

Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.

Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.

Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.

He doesn't dream.

One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.

And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.

And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.

He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.

But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.

The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.

Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.

The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.

"I'll be home in one week."

[necrotic-nephilim]

How do you think bruce would react to a Robin pile situation?

oooh this is a fun thought. i think it depends *entirely* if you're working with a morally stable Bruce or a Bruce who's a little fucked up and dead dove-ish. somehow, i think it's actually more fun if it's a completely stable Bruce bc that adds so much more drama and issues if Bruce is deeply unsettled by the idea. if it was maybe just Jason and Dick or Jason and Tim dating that's sort of understandable. Bruce knows that while he may see them all as his sons (except Steph bc do know Robin pile will *always* include Steph for me and tbh Cass too as an honorary member. they're all going in the pile.) but he understands that doesn't mean they see each other as brothers. he respects the nuanced and complicated relationships scattered across all of the Batfam.

but if all of them are *dating*? or at the very least sleeping together? that raises a lot of logistical red flags. the most obvious one is the age gap of it all- at the biggest gap you have Damian and Dick who are an easy fifteen years apart, meeting when Damian is a kid. not to mention how many of them have tried to kill each other at some point. it shouldn't work and Bruce doesn't like that it does. Bruce has a history of wanting to control the relationships of the Batkids when he disapproves. and so he'd absolutely try to break them up. at first, he paints it purely as a logistical issue. saying it's smartest not to bring feelings into work and that this is dangerous. i think it's especially fun if this happens at a time when Bruce doesn't approve of Steph or Jason so that *also* plays into it, he doesn't want either of them near the ones he currently considers to be his family. he says he wants to protect them and wants to keep them safe. he tries to appeal to who he thinks would be more logical and listen to him the most. first Dick, and then when that doesn't work, Tim. and when neither of them listen, i *do* think Bruce would stoop to the low of trying to break them up by fabricating internal conflict between them, hoping to divide and conquer the weird polycule it's become.

while i don't think Bruce would be jealous in the sense he wants to be included, i *do* think he's wildly dislike the Robins having this close bond that makes them trust each other implicitly more than they trust Bruce. they will defer to each other before him and clearly keep things from him. he'd despise that. it's an inner circle he's not let in on and it makes him lose aspects of control over some of them, especially Damian who's the youngest and his son, who Bruce deserves the most control over. he would drive himself mad about it. at first for genuine reasons over the perceived fucked up nature of the relationship (even when each of them have confirmed that it is entirely consensual and they're happy) and to protect them. but he becomes so bitter over being ignored. they openly prioritize each other over him when the truth comes out because they see no point in hiding it. and i could definitely see Jason gloating about how he's back in the family whether Bruce likes it or not. Bruce would be beyond pissed about it. he's just never recovering. trying to stop them gets nowhere, even if he manages to cause some internal conflict.

eventually, Bruce would be forced to accept it for fear he would lose all of them. but he's *not* going to be happy about it and he keeps making side comments, hoping to get through to one of them eventually. it doesn't work, but he's definitely not going to stop trying. i also think on some level it would just disgust him a little bit in a visceral way, since they're his kids to him and he doesn't like to picture them in that way. esp when Jason or Steph lean heavily into PDA just to fuck with him. ass grabs, cuddling, sloppy kisses, the whole nine yards. Bruce will not have a moment of peace.

[afterlife-2004]

Reminds me of “The World Was Wide Enough”, a song from the musical, Hamilton!

[findmeinthefallair]

It's so weird to think that the US is currently 5-8 hours behind me instead of the 12-15 hours that I'm used to

[softquietsteadylove]

there can't be enough thenamesh reunion fics!

may i ask for more?

Gilgamesh yanked the Warrior back by the shoulder. She tried to regain her balance but he slammed his fist against her head, creating a gust strong enough to rattle the ship windows. She went down softly.

"Oi!" The Mind Reader was quick to respond to his fallen comrade. They all had a sense of togetherness that Gilgamesh admitted he found absent within his own team (himself, the Soaring Eternal and their Prime).

Ikaris took advantage of the team's sense of protectiveness. He grasped the Speedster's armour collar with his hand, using her as a shield against the puppeteer. He fired his eyes into the dark haired one's armour, sending him through the wall. Then, the Speedster was nothing but a burden.

Gilgamesh winced as she was thrown headfirst to the ground. Ikaris wasn't stronger than him - he knew that for a fact - but he certainly acted more brutally.

"Come on," he muttered in his accent, dragging the body of the Speedster behind him as he floated over to retrieve the Mind Reader as well.

Gilgamesh stared down at the Warrior Eternal. Her body was also limp, but he could feel the Cosmic Energy thrumming within her veins. He could practically feel the rhythm of her heart, if he let himself imagine it. He didn't know what made them so different, according to Arishem.

"You want a hand with 'er or what?" Ikaris snarled at him, piling both of his catches under his arms to bring back to Ajak at the helm of the ship. He was probably just going to sling her over his shoulder, or worse, drag her.

"Go ahead," Gilgamesh grumbled, kneeling down to her. She was his defeat, and his responsibility. Ikaris floated ahead, even banging the Mind Reader's head against the door frame in his lack of care.

Her face looked so peaceful.

Gilgamesh caught himself trying to move her hair away from her face before sighing. He slipped one hand under her arm and shoulders, and the other under her knees. She folded into his grasp so easily he wasn't sure if she weighed anything at all.

"Gil."

He stared down at her, ready for another fight if she was waking again. But as he drew his arms in, all she did was relax against him--him, the enemy. He couldn't imagine why.

But her head rolled to the side, and her tiara even met the cold, hard shell of his chest plate. And yet she had a little smile on her face, as if there were no place she would rather be. He adjusted her a little before making the trip to the head of the ship as well. He did have the courtesy not to smack her head against the door, at least.

She kept calling him Gil.

No one called him that. He didn't even think of himself like that. His name was Gilgamesh, and he was the Strongest Eternal, sent by Arishem to retrieve rogue Eternals who had been tainted by the Deviants of Earth. He had never met this woman before.

But his heart ached in his chest as he carried her.

He felt conflicted fighting her. He had felt awful knocking her out. And he had felt so protective at the thought of Ikaris laying a single hand on her.

"There he is."

Gilgamesh walked in with the Warrior Eternal in his arms. He held her gently, just briefly looking at the other two piled on the floor like litter.

"Well done," Ajak said, observing the difference in technique between him and Ikaris. She waved her glowing hands.

Gilgamesh stepped back slightly as the woman in his arms floated up out of his embrace and upright. The lines of her energy signature formed around her, creating a golden cage in a sense around her.

"These will hold them until we arrive at the World Forge," Ajak clarified as the three bodies floated to their places around the statue of Arishem.

Ikaris joined Ajak again at the front window, discussing their strategy. Those two seemed close but also at odds, in a weird way. Gilgamesh turned away from them, back to the blonde.

She was beautiful.

He wasn't a traitor just for thinking so. He walked closer, looking up at her floating just off the ground. The signature of her Cosmic Energy was weaker, but he could swear he still felt it calling out to him. It was like they were cut from the same cloth.

He reached up, tucking some hair behind her ear and out of his way. It felt familiar, in a terrifying way. Her eyes didn't even flutter. Not that he wanted her to wake up.

Gilgamesh looked back at his teammates, but they were whispering among themselves. They weren't any more concerned with him than he was about them. And that was just fine. They were a team, not some cobbled together family unit.

He looked up at her again. Thena. That name had been pulsing in his head since he saw her. He wasn't sure how; she was the Warrior Eternal, deadly and traitorous. That was all he knew about her. Except her name. And that she had a sweet sounding laugh. It echoed through memories he didn't have.

He hadn't even realised he was reaching up until his fingertips met her cheek. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no explanation for it to himself, much less to his team, let alone the woman herself. Her skin was soft.

It seemed impossible, but he could have sworn to all the stars in the sky that she leaned into his touch, however much she could. He didn't press his palm to her skin. That felt...wrong--like he had no right. Just looking at her felt like a betrayal of some kind. "Thena."

The Warrior's sandy coloured eyelashes fluttered. Maybe she was stronger than Ajak had assumed. She couldn't open her eyes, but he knew they were green (somehow). "Gil."

That name again. It made his whole body burn, like his chest was on fire. He stood back from the Warrior calling for him--someone. He didn't know who she was calling out to, but it wasn't really him.

"Gilgamesh."

He turned towards his Prime, and his fellow Eternal at the window. It seemed so cold over there. He nodded, walking over silently. Only when he was further away did he realise he had been holding the Warrior Eternal's hand.

"Are you prepared to hand them over?" Ajak asked.

He frowned, "why wouldn't I be?"

Ajak was silent, but Ikaris freely scoffed at him, "y'seem awfully soft on the traitor. There's no need for the gentleman routine with faulty scum."

Gilgamesh clenched his fists at his side, but he forced himself to remember his place. "I'm curious, but I'm not confused about the mission."

"Good," Ajak concluded, ending the conversation for both of them.

Ikaris let out one last laugh at him before floating off again. Did he have to fly everywhere just for the sake of it? He could walk just fine.

Gilgamesh tried not to seem like he was watching keenly as Ikaris walked by the prisoners again. Ikaris also looked up at the Warrior Eternal, and Gilgamesh tried not to yell at his teammate to keep his distance from her.

But Ikaris kept moving, and Gilgamesh wasn't eager to admit that his chest loosened. His eyes left the figure of Thena floating limply. He blinked, finding Ajak staring at him. "What?"

She looked back at the Warrior Eternal and then back to him. "You know her."

He shook his head. "We were briefed on all of them. She was a better fighter than I could have imagined. I think that deserves some respect."

Yes, he had respect for his fellow Fighter. She seemed very much his equal, all agility where he was sturdiness. He wanted her to be treated with respect and honour, just like any good warrior.

He wanted her to be handled so delicately a flower would weep with envy.

"I agree," Ajak sufficed to say. She gave him one last look before leaning closer, "keep your mission in mind, Gilgamesh. Whatever the traitors try to whisper in your ear...remember their deception."

"I will," he assured his team leader before she too departed. He stayed at the window, looking into the vast nothingness where eventually the World Forge would come into view. He looked over his shoulder.

It wouldn't be long until he could ask her why she called him Gil.

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.

well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.

but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.

honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.

This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)

I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?

But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.

It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.

To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.

That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.

For that, you must go on.

[moe-broey]

Would I be proving my therapist (who has been voicing some concerns about my depression maybe getting worse but like I feel like it's fine) right by cancelling my appointment tomorrow cause I just don't wanna. Like all I have to report is that I'm tired and I wanna rest and I just don't really feel like it y'know

[mortellanarts]

2023 go bye bye

[reikunrei]

tag yourself, i'm me breaking down in tears bc my parents have completely held me back from being successful in life and made moving out on my own so much harder than it ever needed to be

[amsterdamlouie]

pov: when your mom has covid but she doesn't stay in her room

[iwonderwh0]

What's a little comforting is that people with terminal insomnia don't live as long as I have been already living with mine. At least that's what I've been told