#I'll keep you guys posted on what happens
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Oh wow, ya don’t say?
Adobe is pushing its luck-
#tell me after the fact why don't ya-#God has punished me for my hubris and my work is never finished.#Oh wow#you got a job? You're STILL not gonna be able to save up for anything! Haha!#I don't have the courage to try to fib about my student status#I also hope you guys don't mind me complaining about this all the time#I said it before but this account makes me feel safe to drop the professionalism thing#at least for a little bit#I'll keep you guys posted on what happens#I don't want to pirate anything#because then it feels like I'd have spent my summer asking people for help#and it'd all be for nothing- 'cause it's like#why didn't you do this sooner dummy??#oh right-#tw vent#cw vent
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Pretty woman <3
#hey guys :)#I missed posting & thought it would be a crime not to show her#madame gina#lizard lady#my art uwu#my ocs <3#been shy/nervous about posting again#cause like what if someone says something mean T^T (but that's never happened- you guys have been super friendly actually)#so I have some stuff collecting dust in the ol' art -> 2024 folder#kinda like keeping art for myself in my little box of secrets so idk how much I'll post#but I missed seeing some of you in my notes so hi :)#my art#my ocs
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It's him!! The guy with the inconsistent design!!! (I'm bored as fuck)
I'm still not done with the redesign I have no idea what to do with her clothes
#fnafhs#fhs#fnafhs oc#fnafhs loren#yk what I'll just put his eye backstory here cus i fucking forgot to make the post about it#basically you know that scene in nadie me derrumara where Felix gets his shit beaten by creepy shadow guys?#yeah loren was there too. they were going for a walk (at night cus they're stupid) because yeah they wanted to have sibling time#then boom undefined characters attack. their target was mainly Felix so one of them stabbed Loren in the eye to keep her out of the way#the wound was beyond salvation and Loren decided to get the blind eye removed completely#reminder that all that happened when Felix was still in his “jealous big brother” phase and when he ran away with Fede he almost forgot-#loren there.#fede already knew them and loren is still kinda pissed at both of them for having forgotten her.#since then Felix started to be more caring about his sibling#oh yeah and all that happen when she was 12#he's 14 in the present
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What do you plan to do when the TR fandom starts getting old/unpopular and people start leaving it behind
Will you continue to post content or will you have to stop
Me when the fandom goes quiet/ dead
#honestly idk things change and happen so it's impossible to predict#but for now i just plan to keep on continuing with normal posts no matter what happens with the fandom#though with s2 the fandom should be about to get more popular#I'll only stop if i either get very bored or yk if i die until then you guys are stuck with me#jojosquad#might save this to reblog when it actually is Izana's birthday that'll be a funny way to celebrate
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#cascoon#it's like silcoon‚ but purple and pointy! desperately trying to remember how this one comes about. i'm gonna seem like a fake pokémon fan#i know silcoon and cascoon are both evolutions of wurmple. but i don't remember what the criteria are. is it a gender thing? hold on google#oh. it's just. some hidden personality value. so it's effectively random#y'know what. i think that's better than it being a gender thing. shoutout. but it could be considerably more interesting#maybe i'm just conditioned by the hitmonline to think that every evolution criteria has to be stupid and obscure and insane#or finizen At All#or all the stupid-ass trade evos. do not like trade evos. i do Not like trade evos! i have said this before but i will keep saying it#i just realized i called cascoon purple and pointy as though silcoon was not pointy. i'm not with it at all this morning#i just woke up‚ y'all. can you tell. can you tell i'm not sentient yet. i have to go to work in like an hour and a half and i am Not ready#anyway. i'm gonna get this guy up in the queue and dustox and then take my meds. see you guys in the dustox post#this must look so weird to y'all. since dustox is gonna be either multiple hours or a whole Day after cascoon#but i queue up two to three pokémon at once every morning to keep a good backlog in the queue in case one morning i miss it#which has happened before. it's saved my ass before. and i'm gonna need to use it at the beginning of july#sneak peek for you guys. i'll be heading out of town on june 30th to go to the other side of the country for work. so i won't be around#any posts you see from june 30th to july 4th are gonna be like super duper queued in advance. and i probably won't be able to answer asks#or anything like that. i dunno if i'll do a formal announcement bc no one will even notice but for you dear reader#who read this deep into my mile-long cascoon tags. you now know that i will be out of town from june 30th to july 4th#use this power wisely….
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Rip to the Emperor, just got rejected 3 times in a row in increasingly more painful ways
#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#jsdhfks#empy fans turn away this is a roast post dfgjkhg#(side note i'll be using he/him for emperor just because i cant tell what the game has in mind with mind flayer pronouns tbh)#Alfhart was first and like. I dont know what Empy was expecting from the guy that hates him just as much if not more than Lae'zel does#but what he got was a very solid fuck off followed by sarcasm at his mask falling off and laughter at his threat#(Latter doesnt happen in game but it does in my heart)#Then it was Olur who was trying to keep the conversation more neutral. Until the squid flirted and he was so taken aback dnbfg#he called him a freak and that he should have thrown the prism in the shadow curse#Then poor Ayre jksf just genuinely so uncomfortable the whole way through. for a mind reader Emperor does NOT get the hint#'i dont really know how i feel about this forced alliance' ' you tried to control me :(' THEN HE FLIRTS AND AYRE IS STRAIGHT UP TERRIFIED#rip emperor you sure tried#cant wait to get to omelluum again#it's going to be SOOOOO funny when alfhart gets him out and is like : of course i saved you- i rather like you :)#POINTEDLY TO PISS THE EMPEROR OFF#only one illithid he respects and it's not you <3 fucking loser
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Alright in light of all this Tumblr's gonna die AGAIN as I said in the tags of that post I'm willing to give my discord to mutuals who wanna keep in touch and after that I might do something with my Instagram but who knows.
Not gonna delete this blog or stop posting any time soon but it's just a backup/worst case scenario prep
#if i get desperate enough I'll use fucking deviantart LMAOOOOO#<- kinda joking#but yeah this is something else lmao#why does all the bullshit happen when im asleep though fr like what the fuck 💀💀💀#but yeha im not gonna put my discord out in the open so like if you wanna keep in touch plz lmk#im kinda like. this shit has happened before people keep saying tumblrs gonna die yet we're still here#but part of me is concerned this time#cause like ... where can i post like this again huh#man just when i was trying to get myself back into the groove of posting about captain again :/#hopefully if all goes belly up you guys will see me in a few years on ao3 or some webcomic forum posting captain 😿#but hey lets not worry too much about it because its possible to still keep shit afloat
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Attempting to design an amigurumi chibi and one of his hips is at a shaper angle than the other nfndjsk I accidentally gave him scoliosis
#Why do I keep inflicting harm on my stuffed toys bdbwhsj#First the crying bunny now this#It's barely noticeable tbf but I am a perfectionist and knowing that imperfection is there bothers me#Will I frog half of this and remake it? Very likely#All for a... What? 2 mm shift?#I am insane yes in case you were wondering#Maybe I'll just sleep on it and tomorrow I'll hate this significantly less lol#Happened for the hair of my last doll#Thyandra.txt#Anyway guys I know I keep posting about crochet but if this is annoying I'm gonna keep it to a minimum#It's just a new hobby that's completely eaten all my focus rn#You don't wanna know how many anime plushies I'm going to make#.... Trust me
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bsd has me writing things i previously would not have touched with a ten foot pole
#ngl i've typed this post out and then deleted it like four different times now#because it Keeps Happening#this show has something IN IT i swear i don't know what it is but. it's Something for sure#put this in my drafts three weeks ago.... you guys are never going to guess what happened Again .#there is not a single line in this fic that is any semblance of normal and sane. i don't know what's happening#i made a joke TO MYSELF three days ago and now they are playing with knives in fyodor's basement#whatever. WHATEVER. just gritting my teeth until i exorcise the demons this fic idea gave me and then i'll shove it away for three weeks#so i can work on the things i actually need to be doing right now#hello grace here#someone get the bsd characters OUT of my mind this is a CRY FOR HELP
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-“That hurt.”
#this art is not intended to be beautiful or anything like that. because this is just a “vent”#I ask that you please do not ask me what happened or why I posted this vent..#you don't have to worry about me either. I might not be doing so well and I'll admit that. but don't worry. it's going to be okay!#you guys know i'm a person of faith. and hope is something i don't lack either. so i'll be fine. i promise <333#you don't need to say anything either! this post is just something to ease my pain of keeping this feeling a little#it's good sometimes to vent to someone that way (in my opinion)#so.. yeah. I'll be fine! also- I will still continue posting and also doing my best to answer all of you. so- no need to worry. okay?#thank you a lot for reading and have a wonderful day/night💛#vent art#vent post#personal vent#vent#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#things about me#tw: depressive thoughts#?#I'll be fine! <3#personal thoughts#personal things
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i miss the copper king so bad man
#i constantly have namemc open to pixls profile on my phone now if anything changes i Will Be Among The First To Know.#still this character has just. taken over my brain steadily over the past few months#as i'm sure all of you know lol. its not really a secret at this point we are The Pixlriffs Guy for a reason anyways#28 episodes posted over 6 months. around 13 hours of content minus the streams. its been almost two years#theres something about watching a series that ended before you even started watching it. you start wondering what you missed#thankfully the internet keeps relics of all content forever in some way in most cases but still. Man.#i hope to god that pix at least does something to put the story of pixandria to rest#if he does i will go insane but yknow thats how it goes#if not? well he said in a stream a few days back that basically all interperetations of what happened to pixandria and the copper king#are correct#so theres that and we'll have ashes to lean on after it's finally finished#idk something about endings and bittersweet dooms and someone who cares carrying the weight of an unfinished story on their shoulders#i think i'll go downstairs and bake brownies and think about requiems.#ray's tag
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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#Magni... Vesper... :((((#Those are the only two holostars i watched with any regularity. ive been worried about what this extended hiatus could mean#it turns out to be the worst possible outcome... both of them? at the same time? miserable. desolate.#it's not quite as gut wrenching as Mysta's graduation just because we knew SOMETHING was wrong but still#so so sad about this. those were my guys. we aren't even getting a graduation stream :'(#more then anything it's like... disheartening.#it feels like we just set out on this big beautiful holostars adventure#only for half of our first gen to suddenly leave.#right after they got model updates to >_> weh.#i feel really bad for Pako san... it just keeps happening#they're so supportive towards their vtubers kids and their kids genmates. you can really tell they love the scene and want to be part of it#*sighs* it is what it is.#guess I have to get into Vanguard if i want that holostars energy in my life. Bettel seems funny i'll check him out#i feel silly that so many of my ''personal'' posts are just... about vtubers but its MY blog i get to chose the posts#this IS a fandom blog firstly and foremostly so i'm afraid that's just how it has to be#snow blogging
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a fun fact about us is that sometimes we will be having a bad time and our brain, in all its wisdom, will go "I know just what you need to help you cope with this: a guy who is having a worse time" and then it'll just make one and we have to figure out how to help the new guy with his wild source trauma which is probably meant to happen instead of dealing with the real life stuff that's going on but instead just kind of piles on top of it
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I think it probably does help with processing stuff#but it's always like ''why is the source memory worse than the thing it's trying to mask though?''#also the new guy who's having a worse time is co-fronting so we're just having a weird time together#it's nice co-fronting with him though. we're dealing with pretty much the same emotions#but for him it's over source memories and for me it's over real life stuff#and he keeps saying things that make me feel very understood#anyway for a coping mechanism DID sure does give you a lot of extra stuff to cope with#we have several things going on and it means we're dissociating a lot and our amnesia has been ridiculously bad#so I can tell I got really upset and I technically know what I was upset over because it's the same few things that are going on#but if I try to actually think ''oh it must have been [thing]'' and acknowledge what the thing is that's upsetting me#there's a good chance I'll suddenly find myself very confused and disoriented 30 seconds later with no idea what just happened
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It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???
NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.
#okay so i need to give her a name. we will call her yn bc she is just so different and quirky and not like other girls#so i haven't liked yn since freshman year (am a junior) because she seemed incredibly pretentious. she has like awards n stuff for this#asian advocation group and tons of other stuff which is GOOD. but she has a tendency to brag and be very cocky about it.#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH#ME ABOUT YN BEING COCKY! and Pie and Yn are in the same group since they are both Asian and ppl at my school typically hang out w their rac#is that racist? like there's an asian boys group and asian girls group. but it's only asians and white people; but it's weird since a large#portion of my school is hispanic. i dunno WEIRD SIDE TANGENT BUT BASICALLY THEY ARE IN THE SAME GROUPS; RIGHT? so Pie was agreeing that Yn#can be very pretencious; and I'm then like#oh i don't really like her for the cheating stuff she did with Mac (fake name) and how she got#him to basically cheat on his girlfriend“ and Pie says ”oh well Mac started it; but Yn lead him on for over a month while he had a gf#and they kept this going until Yn decided to break things off; WHICH MEANS MAC'S NOW EX GIRLFRIEND NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANYTHING W MAC N YN!#also allegedly according to my boyfriend; Yn was doing homework as Mac was yk DOING it to Yn and she just like... LET IT HAPPEN WHILE HE HA#A GIRLFRIEND. HELLO? and when Yn ends it; he's like “omg but yn... i love you...” “no. i'll only hurt you; if you're with me it'll only hur#uh okay 25k words slowburn vibes.... ANYWAYS so she takes screenshots and sends them in a SUPER big groupchat with 20+ people (including Pi#and my boyfriend) and Pie (who was childhood friends with Mac) called her out saying how it was also kind of her fault for being with a guy#who was in a relationship; but she got super defensive about it. and this same thing happened AGAIN 2ish months later with a girl Jas and#her boyfriend Ben; where Yn was friends with both but basically was emotionally cheating with Jas; leading them to break up; and then she#GOT WITH JAS. HELLO???? WHAT??? and they r still together. none of them talk to Ben even though Yn said they were 'all cool and friends'#SUREEEE GIRL SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. and Pie called her out on this AGAIN since Pie is friends with Ben and Jas too but Yn got#defensive AGAIN! BC SHE KNOWS ITS A SHITTY THING TO DO! and Pie doesn't really like her because of it and when Pie told me all of that I wa#in shock. because Yn was trying to play the victim in the situation with Mac when she sent the messages to the gc; and tried to do that AGA#N BUT IN THE SITUATION WITH JAS LIKE NO U ARE JUST A CRAPPY PERSON ! and appearently she is SO toxic she was nearly kicked out from a#leadership role at my school's asian pacific islander club or something! like girl WAKE UP! but that's not all; so i didn't know she was#known for going for people who had partners; yet still didn't like her; and last school year (about 4 months ago) my boyfriend got a 'reall#bad haircut' (i thought it was cute; but everyone made fun of him ) and Yn RAN around our campus trying to find him to make fun of him..#like wtf that's so weird and she will post screenshots of their convos on her story and be like 'omg he's bullying me!' when he's being dry#and did that in the gc (this time; i'm in it!) and i crashed out but my bf was apologizing and saying he told her to not post anything but#she didn't listen or something i guess. and sometimes when they are wearing similar outfits she'll post on her story that they are matching#um girl he has a wife and 12 kids. back the FUCK off. and i told him to distance himself from her or set boundries cuz i don't like that n#it makes me uncomfy; so he did which is good! but i still don't like Yn. she is a major pick-me IMO and very two-faced and covers her
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I made a playlist for myself/for Belphegor. For some reason, half of it ended up linking back to his weird psychosexual resentment for Lucifer and I don't know what to do about that ,
#demoncest#17#literally what is wrong with me#why does this keep happening#I'll post some songs on the playlist if you guys want
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