#I’ve started bringing him and his sister inside to prove to my parents that they can be fostered. he’s very sweet

[0rionz-belt]

Anyways this is Rum Tum Tugger. He’s a feral kitten I’ve been working with. The only thing he likes more than attention is committing crimes.

[fxckadoodledoomunson]

A Heart Divided -5-

Previous

|5| Truth and Consequences

Summary: Chrissy and Max tries to find Roxy on her own so they can interrogate her about your sister and the diary, while Nancy questions Steve about his closeness with Chrissy. Meanwhile, Eddie is conflicted over his relationship your sister, whilst trying to figure out where you’ve gone.

Warnings: swearing, mention of weed, abusive parent, blood.

Tagged: @somethingvicked @ali-r3n @mirandasidefics @mewchiili @erisdogwood @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @yourdailymemedelivery @pretendthisnameisclever @sadbitchfangirl

The next morning, Nancy was parking her car outside of the Family Video, when Max asked the older girls, “You think this will work?”

“It’s worth a try,” Nancy said, as they all took of their seatbelts. “Anything to help us prove to Eddie who really wrote that diary.”

“I just hope that we can use the database to find Roxy,” Chrissy replied.

“Well, if Keith’s there and says anything, I’m sure Nancy can put on the charm,” Max joked, as they got out of the car.

“Very funny, Max,” Nancy sarcastically responded, which made Chrissy giggle.

Meanwhile, inside the store, Robin and Steve were debating on which movie to play.

“I’ve told you before, Robin,” Steve spoke as he was pushing the empty trolley. “I don’t do double VHS.”

“Oh come on,” Robin retorted, as Steve followed her to the counter, before picking up a cardboard cutout of Freddy Krueger. “You picked the movie last time. It’s my turn.”

“Okay, fine. But I’m not-“ Steve with the cutout in front of his face, turned around when he heard someone yelp, as he almost bumped into that person.

“Smooth move, dingus,” Robin snorted, as she was about to take the VHS tape out of its cover when Steve passed her cutout, before beginning to apologise.

“I am so sorry. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to bump into you, I should’ve…”

“It’s okay,” a sweet voice replied, prompting Steve to turn back, to find Chrissy standing in front of him, smiling.

“Oh, Chrissy. Hey,” Steve grinned as he greeted her, whilst Nancy and Max padded behind her. As Robin waved at the two girls, Steve greeted them, before asking Chrissy, “What brings you here?”

“The girl’s been single for five minutes, and he’s already making a pass at her,” Robin teased.

Steve turned to Robin, as he asked in a serious tone, “Don’t you have a tape to put on?”

Robin was about to continue with her teasing when Nancy cleared her throat, before informing Steve and Robin, “Actually, we need your help with something. You see, we’re doing some investigating, and…”

“Investigating?” Steve asked, before asking if it had something to do with your disappearance.

Chrissy explained, as she held up the diary, that they were investigating on who was responsible for forging your handwriting.

“Can I see it?” Steve asked Chrissy, before she handed it over to him.

“Why? Curious about what it might say about you?” Robin asked, causing Steve to sarcastically laugh, as he started reading the contents.

“He won’t find anything anyway, it’s only about Eddie,” Chrissy informed them, confirming that she, Nancy and Max thoroughly checked every single page.

After Steve read through the pages, he closed the diary and gave it back to Chrissy, as he confirmed, “Well, whoever forged the handwriting, definitely needed a dictionary. So many misspelling errors. And doesn’t she like, doodle stuff on the pages or something?”

After confirming that you never wrote in the diary, Steve asked Chrissy, “Any ideas on who it could be? If I had to put money on it, it would be her sister.”

“At first, I thought for sure that it was her sister who wrote it,” Chrissy mentioned. “But after comparing her friend, Roxy’s writing in the yearbook, I’m wondering if she’s involved too.”

“Okay, so what does that have to do with us?” Robin asked.

“We need to use your computer system to find Roxy,” Max bluntly responded.

“Well, even if we let you use it to find her and prove that the diary, do you really think that it would make a difference to Eddie?” Robin asked, before commenting on his recent ill treatment towards you.

“Maybe not, but it’s gotta be worth a try,” Chrissy replied. “So, can we please use the computer?”

Robin and Steve silently turned to each other, before Steve shifted his attention to Chrissy, silently giving the girls permission to use the computer by gesturing at it to them.

Chrissy smiled, as she thanked him. As the three girls started gathering around the computer, Nancy quickly turned to glance at Steve, whose eyes were fixated on Chrissy when Robin started making a kissing face at him, prompting Nancy to swiftly turn away. As Steve took notice of Robin, he glared at her, telling her, “Go and help them.”

Robin raised her hands with an innocent expression on her face, as she went to help the girls.

Suddenly, the phone started ringing, prompting Robin to turn her head when Steve picked it up, he answered, “Family Video, how can-? Oh, hey Mom. Why are you-?”

As the girls continue to search on the database, they heard Steve ask, “Really? Where?”

Chrissy turned her head, hoping that he was given some information about your whereabouts, as he Steve jotted down something on a scrap of paper.

“Okay, thanks for letting me know…I’ll go there right now.”

After Steve had put down the phone, he immediately took his work vest, as he asked, “Hey Nance, can you drive me to the tow yard? My mom said that the cops called, saying that they found my car.”

“Sure,” Nancy replied, before asking Chrissy and Max, “Will you guys be okay finding Roxy by yourselves?”

Chrissy remained silent, worrying about you when Max responded, “Yeah, sure.”

Nancy silently nodded, as Steve told her, “Let’s go.”

They were both about to leave when Steve noticed Chrissy’s worried expression.

Steve deeply exhaled, as he approached her and placed his hand on her shoulder, softly telling her, “Don’t worry. I’ll ask the cops about her. If they’ve found my car, then maybe they’ve found her too.”

Chrissy chewed her lower lip, holding back her tears, as she silently nodded.

“Listen, we can wait until you find Roxy’s address, and we’ll drop you off there before the yard,” Steve suggested, before asking Nancy. “Right, Nance?”

Before Nancy could respond, Chrissy replied, “It’s okay. I can call Aimee and ask if her brother can take us to her.”

“Are you sure?”

Chrissy silently nodded, when Nancy said, “We better get going before they destroy the car.”

Steve briefly rubbed Chrissy’s shoulder, before moving his hand away, as he stepped outside, following Nancy, who sprinted towards her car.

Meanwhile in the hospital, Eddie was still in bed, rereading your diary, ghosting his fingers against your drawings when he heard the door knocking.

As he quickly closed the diary and hid it under his pillow, the door opened, as a gruffly voice announced, “It’s only me.”

It was Wayne.

As Wayne entered the door, carrying a plastic bag, he told Eddie, “I’m not supposed to be here out of visiting hours, but the nurse allowed me to come and drop off a couple of things.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” Eddie replied, as Wayne placed the bag on top of the table, before taking out some comic books and a couple of cassettes for him.

“Did you managed to do your homework?” Wayne asked.

“Some,” Eddie grumbled, as he crossed his arms when Wayne leaned over, and asked, “Eddie? Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Eddie retorted. “I’m being discharged soon.”

“Well, it’s just…your eyes are puffy. Have you been crying?”

Eddie scoffed, as he shuffled in his bed, before denying, “Of course not. Just tired, that’s all. Didn’t get enough sleep.”

If there was one thing that Wayne knew, it was the fact that his own nephew wasn’t good at lying.

However, Wayne decided to let him lie, saving the interrogation.

As he took the empty plastic bag, Wayne told him, “Well, I’ll come and see you again during visiting hours. Has your girlfriend been to visit?”

Eddie stayed silent, not mentioning that your sister hadn’t been to see him.

Wayne sighed, “If you want, I’ll ask if she wants to visit when I go over-“

“Don’t bother,” Eddie coldly replied. “She’s probably busy.”

Wayne shook his head, before telling him, “I’ll ask anyway.” He then mentioned you. “It’s been a week since she went missing, I hope she returns home soon.”

“Me too,” Eddie mumbled. “I know we’re not close anymore, but I hope she comes back.”

Wayne furrowed his eyebrows, wondering about Eddie’s sudden change of heart about you.

“Well, we’ve got people to look out for her, so someone’s bound to see her,” Wayne replied, as he headed to the door, before replying, “ I’ll see you later, kid.”

Eddie silently waved goodbye to his uncle, who had closed the door behind him.

After he had gone, Eddie took the diary from under the pillow and opened it, rereading the pages. The more Eddie read, the more he was finally convinced that the diary was yours, especially how you described your sister as a succubus. Looking back, Eddie realised that you were right. He remembered the day when your sister showed him the fake diary…

“No…” Eddie tearfully said, as he sat on your sister’s bed, reading the insults about him in the diary, which your sister allegedly found under your bed. “No, that can’t be true.”

“I’m sorry, but it is,” your sister replied with fake sympathy. “You don’t know what she was like after you leave. She’s always badmouthing you for failing senior year twice.”

Eddie sniffled, as he slammed the diary shut.

“I didn’t want you to find out this way, but…maybe it’s for the best,” your sister said, as she cupped his cheek and pulled him into a kiss.

Eddie instantly pulled himself away, confused with your sister’s sudden move.

He knew that your sister wasn’t always nice to him when she was in his class. But then he thought maybe she had changed.

Your sister flashed a smile at him, as she seductively stroked his arm, before whispering to him, “She doesn’t have to know, not that she’ll care anyway.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what to do. On one hand, he didn’t understand why she would make a move on him. On the other hand, he was too angry to care. He thought that maybe being with your sister would help him get over you.

“You know what? Fuck it,” Eddie exclaimed, as he dropped the diary, leaning into a passionate kiss, making your sister squeal with delight…

Eddie snapped himself out of that memory, as he closed the diary. At that moment, he realised that maybe you were right about your sister being a succubus, wondering if she had anything to do with the fake diary. Looking back, he should’ve left immediately after she kissed him and gone to the training camp to ask you about it.

He sighed, as he leaned back, trying to decide to whether break things off with your sister, or wait until she confessed.

A few moments later, Steve and Nancy were at the tow yard. After Steve signed and paid for his car to be returned, they waited for the car as Steve commented, “I hope that she’s been found.”

Steve stared at his watch, wondering how long it’ll take when Nancy spoke up, “Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah, Nance?” Steve asked, as he lowered his arm.

“I hope you don’t think I’m prying, but I uh… couldn’t help but notice how you are with Chrissy lately.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, as he asked in a confused tone, “How do you mean?”

“Well, I noticed how you were ogling her earlier and-“

“Okay,” he let out a little laugh, before explaining. “I was not ogling her. I’m just worried about her, that’s all.”

He then mentioned that Chrissy was your best friend, and that you were like family to him, before carrying on saying, “So obviously, I am protective of her, especially after what happened with Carver. I mean, I’ve known Chrissy since we were kids, and-“

“Okay, I believe you,” Nancy interjected, before letting out a small laugh, as she turned to face the counter.

“Well, speaking of prying…How’s things with you and Jonathan?”

Nancy turned to him for a split second before facing forward, faking a smile, as she replied, “Great, we couldn’t be more happier.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, as he saw through her. “Nance?”

Nancy turned to him, as she sadly sighed, before telling him, “Let’s just say…Things are a little complicated for us right now.”

Steve attentively listened, as Nancy revealed, “We got talking about college, and we got into a fight after I found out that he’s going to community college instead of Emerson. I tried calling him, but he’s either with this Argyle guy or the line’s busy because of Joyce’s job.”

“I’m sorry to hear it,” Steve sympathetically responded, before placing his hand on her shoulder, telling her, “You’ll get through to him, and you guys will fix it.”

Nancy smiled, as she thanked him when the officer came back with Steve’s keys.

“Here you go,” he said as he passed him the keys.

Steve turned around, before asking, “Uh…Where’s my car?”

“Yeah about that, it’s outta gas,” the officer revealed. “So, we couldn’t bring it over.”

Steve turned back, as he asked about you.

“There’s no report about your friend. Just your unattended vehicle.”

Steve’s face turned pale, as he thought about the worst case scenario.

“Don’t worry,” Nancy began to assure him. “I’ll get my dad’s gas tank from home, and-“

“Never mind the gas tank,” Steve frantically interrupted as he gripped his hair, before asking, “What about her?”

He cursed under his breath, before asking the officer if he could make a phone call.

After the cop had let make one call, Steve dialled Dustin’s phone, before hearing Dustin answer, “Henderson residence.”

“Dustin, it’s me.”

Steve then asked him to contact Max for them, informing her and Chrissy that you still haven’t been found by the police, before telling him that he and Nancy were going to find your last location.

On the other side of town, Max and Chrissy got out of a taxi which they had to take as Tony was unable to take them to Roxy.

After paying the driver, they started walking towards the street, as Max asked, “Do you think she’ll talk?”

“I don’t know,” Chrissy sighed. “But it’s worth a shot.”

Chrissy continued to talk as they approached the door when they heard Max’s supercom beep before hearing Dustin’s voice.

“Max! We’ve got a code red! I repeat, we’ve got a code red!”

Max took it from her backpack, as she heard Dustin say that you were still missing and Steve and Nancy were going to where the car was located.

Suddenly, Chrissy snatched the supercom from Max’s hand, and quickly answered, “Ask them where to meet-.”

Suddenly, the connection was cut off. Her lips started to tremble, as she dropped to her knees and started to sob.

Max kneeled down beside her, and placed one hand on her shoulder whilst grabbing the supercom from her with the other.

“Don’t worry, they’ll find her,” Max assured her.

“What if they don’t?” Chrissy blubbered. “What if she’s been taken? What if she’s…?”

Chrissy continued to sob, as Max wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her.

“After we deal with Roxy, we’ll find her, okay? If Steve’s car’s been found, then maybe she’s close by.”

Suddenly, they heard a door unlocking, causing the two girls to get back on their feet, as realised that it was coming from Roxy’s house.

As the door swung open, an older man, presumably Roxy’s father, with a beer bottle in his hand, leaned against the frame, supporting himself.

“Can I help you?” He slurred.

“Uh, I’m not sure if we have the right address, but does Roxy live here?” Max enquired, before mentioning Roxy’s full name.

“Roxy?” The man scoffed. “She isn’t here.”

The girls turned to each other before facing the drunken man, as Chrissy asked, “You mean, she’s not home or…”

“Home? Ha!” The man exclaimed. “That little harlot hasn’t been here for a long time. Now leave me be!”

After the man slammed the door in their faces, the girls stepped back and turned around, as Max sarcastically said, “What a charmer. So, what do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Chrissy replied, before mentioning that they may have no choice but go to your place and ask your parents if they know Roxy’s whereabouts.

“Excuse me?” A female voice spoke. The girls turned to find a woman in a nurse uniform approaching them. “Did you say that you were looking for Roxy?”

“Yes, we are,” Chrissy replied. “Do you know where we can find her?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. She’s living with her grandparents. I’m actually heading there now to take care of her grandfather. I can you take you there, if you want.”

Before the girls could respond, they heard a door swing open. The carer groaned, “Here we go again.”

They turned around to find Roxy’s father throwing numerous items out of the door, as he shouted out to the carer, “Hey Shelia, next time you see my old man, give these back to that whore!”

Max and Chrissy stared in disgust as Shelia shook her head, about to say something when he slammed the door shut again.

Shelia sighed, as she picked up some clothes from the lawn.

Chrissy and Max, who had found a couple of pieces of paper before stuffing them in her pocket, helped pick up the remainder of the stuff, as Shelia thanked them, before walking to her car.

“You can put them in the box in the boot,” she told them.

“Does he always throw her stuff out every time he sees you?” Chrissy asked.

“I’m afraid so,” Shelia replied.

“What a piece of shit,” Max muttered.

After putting everything in the box, Shelia told them, “Listen, my offer still stands. If you two want me to drive you to see Roxy, I can take you now.”

The girls exchanged glances before deciding to go with her.

After finally getting fuel for his car, Steve and Nancy left the Wheeler’s residence, before heading to the location of where his car was found.

As soon as Nancy parked her car, Steve jumped out of his vehicle, trying to find anything that could help track you.

“Steve, wait,” Nancy called out, as she got out of her car, while Steve quickly followed footprints through the woods.

“Please be close by,” Steve muttered. “Please be close by.”

He continued to follow the tracks until he got to the edge of the lake.

He stopped, and turned his head, seeking for more tracks and any boats near the lake. However, he had no luck.

“Shit!” He growled, as he scratched the back of his head.

“She might not have gone far,” Nancy spoke. “Someone must’ve seen her-“

“Do you see anyone else here, Nancy?!” Steve shouted. “Where else would she go?! You don’t understand-!”

“I don’t understand?”

Steve’s face softened, seeing Nancy’s angry expression, as she continued, “Of course I understand, Steve! Have you forgotten about what it was like for me when Barb went missing before she was killed?!”

Steve slowly approached her, as he softly spoke, “Nance…”

“Let’s just keep looking,” Nancy retorted, before storming off in one direction, leaving a remorseful Steve behind.

Meanwhile on the other side of town, Shelia had pulled her car in front of a bungalow. As the girls got out, Chrissy asked the carer, who had grabbed Roxy’s belongings, with both girls helping her, “Do you think Roxy will be in?”

“Well, every time I’ve been to visit, she’s always been there,” Shelia recalled, as they walked up the pathway to the bungalow. “Especially as she’s got her baby to look after. She doesn’t like shifting her responsibilities to her grandparents.”

Chrissy and Max exchanged confused glances, wondering if it was the same Roxy they were seeking, as Max asked, “Baby?”

As Shelia knocked on the door, Max asked if you had mentioned to Chrissy about Roxy having a baby.

“It’s the first time I’ve heard about it,” Chrissy replied. “She would’ve said if she knew already.”

Suddenly, the door swung open, as an elderly woman stood in the doorway, and happily greeted the nurse. “Shelia.”

As the woman hugged her, Shelia said, “Hello Eunice. How’s Ronald today?”

“He was a little bit achy earlier, but Roxy helped him with his exercises, so he’s a little bit better.”

As she stepped back, Eunice told Shelia to come inside when she noticed that Chrissy and Max were standing outside. She smiled, as she greeted them, “Oh, hello dears. Can I help with something?”

“We’re here to see Roxy,” Chrissy replied, as Shelia went inside the bungalow. “Is she here?

“Yes, she is. Is she expecting you? She didn’t say anything about having visitors.”

“Well, we only met recently,” Max fibbed. “We were outside her Dad’s when Shelia mentioned that she was here. We thought that we could hang out with her today. That is, if she’s not busy.”

“Well, if you’re her friends, then I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you. Come on in.”

Eunice took them through the hallway, as she told them, “She and her grandfather in the backyard with her son.”

As they stepped into the back garden, Max and Chrissy noticed Roxy picking up a boy, no older than three months, from her grandfather who was in his wheelchair.

“There we go,” Roxy said, as she held her son, while Shelia pushed the wheelchair, heading back inside when Roxy saw her grandmother with the two girls. She instantly recognised Chrissy, but didn’t know Max. When she noticed the diary in Chrissy’s hand, she started to worry.

“Honey, these sweet girls are here to see you,” her grandmother informed her, before offering Max and Chrissy a drink.

“They’re not staying,” Roxy interjected in a panicking tone.

“Roxy,” Eunice began to sternly say. “There’s no need to be rude.”

Before Roxy could say anything else, Max explained, “We’re not staying long. We just need a moment of your time for five, ten minutes tops.”

Roxy turned to her grandmother, before shifting her attention back to Chrissy and Max. She then huffed, before telling them, “Ten minutes.”

After she had put down her son in his crib, Roxy sat down on the couch, opposite the two girls, when Max asked, “What’s his name?”

“Look, just what you gotta say, and then leave,” Roxy coldly retorted.

There was a brief silence when Max began to calmly speak, “We just wanna ask-“

“Did you do it?” Chrissy abruptly asked, as she lifted up the diary. “Did you write all of this about Eddie Munson and framed my best friend?”

Roxy crossed her arms, as she denied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chrissy scoffed, “Bullshit.”

“Hey!” Roxy shushed her. “There’s a baby here, so mind your language.”

The girls turned to look at the boy sleeping, before turning to face each other.

Chrissy exhaled, before calmly telling her. “Look, I’ve seen your handwriting in her sister’s yearbook. It had identical spelling mistakes like in this diary. Can you explain that?”

“That doesn’t prove anything.”

Chrissy was about to speak again when Max asked, “Well, what about the sick note?”

Chrissy turned to her with confusion, while Roxy’s eyes widened, as she had let out a nervous laugh before she hesitated, “Sick note? W-What sick note?”

Max pulled out a couple pieces of paper from her pocket, one revealing a scribbled handwriting for an old sick note, and the other revealing an I.O.U from Roxy’s father with similar handwriting.

“This was amongst your stuff which your dad threw out when we went to find you earlier,” Max explained. “Care to explain?”

A worried Roxy avoided eye contact with both girls, as Max said, “Pretty good forgery…shame that some of the words aren’t spelled correctly.”

Chrissy looked at Max with astonishment, as the younger teenager asked, “So, why did you forge her handwriting in the diary?”

“I…I…” Roxy stammered, before breaking down in tears.

Chrissy and Max exchanged glances, before shifting their attention to a distraught Roxy, who was drying her eyes, as she apologised, before blurting out, “I didn’t want to, but she-“

Suddenly, her son started wailing, distressed by his mother’s change in mood.

“It’s okay honey,” Roxy softly said as she picked him up and held him, trying to calm him down when Chrissy asked if it was your sister who made Roxy write in the diary.

Instead of confirming, Roxy told them, “You need to leave.”

“But-“ Chrissy began to speak when Roxy hissed, “Now!”

She then burst into tears, as she begged them, “Please…”

Max stepped back, as she pulled a disappointed Chrissy, telling her, “Come on, Chrissy.”

The girls were about to leave when Chrissy turned around and said tearfully, “I don’t know what kind of hold she has on you, but all I know is that her sister and my best friend is still missing, and you’re both at fault for it. Actions have consequences, remember that.”

Chrissy sniffled, as Max put her arm around her, softly telling her, “Come on.”

As soon as they left, Roxy held her little boy close, as she sat back down on the couch, sobbing, unaware that her grandmother heard everything.

Max and Chrissy stepped out of the bungalow and started walking down the path. “She kinda admitted to writing it,” Max assured.

“But it’s still not enough,” Chrissy sniffled, worried that you might not get any justice.

“Excuse me.”

The girls stopped and turned to find Eunice standing in the doorway. At first, they thought she was going to scold them for upsetting her granddaughter. However, she sweetly smiled, as she asked, “Why don’t you come back inside? There’s something you need to know.”

The girls glanced at her in confusion when Roxy stepped out, as her grandmother held her hand.

After a long investigation with no success, Steve and Nancy headed back to their cars. As Nancy got in her car, she was about to close her door when Steve called out to her, “Nancy?”

She turned her head, as he approached her. She silently looked up at him, as he began to apologise, “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Nancy deeply exhaled, before telling him, “It’s okay, Steve-“

“No, no. It’s not okay. I should’ve been more empathetic. I just…I just can’t help but think of the worst.”

Nancy sympathetically gazed at him when Steve pinched his nose as he turned around and headed back to his car.

Nancy called out his name when Steve ignored her, as he got into his car. His first thought was to contact Dustin about the situation. He suddenly remembered that there was a spare supercom which Dustin left previously in the glove compartment. He opened it up to reach for it when he realised that it was gone.

“What? No way…”

He continued to rummage through the compartment when Nancy approached him.

“Listen, Steve. I…”

“It’s gone,” Steve muttered. “She must’ve taken it.”

“What?”

Steve revealed that the spare supercom was missing.

“Are you sure that Dustin didn’t take it?” Nancy asked.

Instead of answering her, Steve started the car and drove off, leaving Nancy to get in her own car and follow him.

A few moments later in the hospital, Dustin and Lucas were walking through the hallway, on their way to see Eddie. They were about to approach the door when Dustin heard his supercom going off in his bag. “Dustin, this is Mike, do you copy? Over.” He heard Mike say, as he quickly rummaged through his rucksack.

“Pick up, you little butthead!” He heard Steve yell.

“Get your hands off it,” Mike scolded Steve.

“Guys, seriously,” Nancy scolded from the other end, as Dustin finally got it out.

“What is it?”

Nancy asked him if he took the spare supercom from Steve’s car.

“No,” Dustin replied. “Why do you ask?”

Steve then told him to try to call it, in case you had it.

“Give me a sec,” Dustin responded, before he changed the frequency, attempting to contact you. “…do you copy? Over.”

However, there was no response. He and Lucas tried again several times, before realising that you might’ve switched it off or the battery had died.

Dustin sighed, as he reverted back to Mike’s frequency, before confirming that you were not responding.

“Well, keep trying,” Steve told him.

Before the two boys could respond, he heard the door swing open. He turned to find Eddie, who was in his own clothes, storming out of his room. They immediately followed him, as Lucas asked, “Eddie? Eddie, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Eddie retorted. “I’m discharging myself.”

The two youngsters turned to each other, before catching up with Eddie.

“Eddie, Eddie wait!” Dustin called out.

“I’ve waited long enough. I’m gonna find her myself.”

Dustin stammered, as Eddie exited the hospital. “You can’t be serious. Wayne will lose his shit if you leave-“

“Yeah like I give a shit,” Eddie retorted, as he grabbed Dustin’s bike, before getting on it.

“Hey! You can’t take my bike,” Dustin scolded.

“I’ll get it back to you,” Eddie replied, as he started pedalling.

“Eddie! Eddie, come back here!”

Ignoring Dustin, Eddie continued to ride down the road, leaving the youngster to curse, “Son of a bitch!”

Lucas immediately took out his supercom, and contacted Mike, “Mike! We’ve got another problem. Eddie’s gone to find her.”

“And he stole my bike!” Dustin retorted before hearing a gruffly voice asked, “Eddie’s gone where?”

The boys turned to find Wayne standing in front of them.

Meanwhile in the bungalow, Max and Chrissy silently sat on the couch opposite Eunice and Roxy, who held her son close. “Tell them the truth, dear,” Eunice softly told Roxy. “Whatever happens next, your grandfather and I will give you support.”

Roxy turned her grandmother, before shifting her attention to the girls. She took deep breaths before revealing that, not only did she forged your handwriting, but your sister had made her do it.

“I didn’t want to,” Roxy sniffled. “But I had no choice. If I didn’t, she would tell my ex boyfriend who Shaun’s real father is.”

Max and Chrissy gazed at a grizzly Shaun, as Roxy tried to calm him down, as well as herself.

Eunice placed her hand on Roxy’s shoulder, encouraging her to tell them more.

Roxy exhaled, before confessing that a year ago, she had a fight with her ex boyfriend after she had found out that he and your sister hooked up while he was still with her.

“I got angry, and I wanted to get back at her,” Roxy revealed . “So, I.. I slept with this guy she was seeing at the time. She caught us, and got pissed off. She told the dean that I’ve been writing papers for some people in campus in exchange for cash, which led me getting expelled.”

She had let out a small chuckle, before confessing, “She got her karma though. Without me helping her, she got caught cheating on an exam, getting herself kicked out of college.”

Max and Chrissy glanced at each other with confusion, before Chrissy asked “Kicked out? I thought she dropped out.”

“Well, that’s what she told her parents. I’m guessing they still don’t know.”

“I don’t get it,” Max spoke. “Why would you still hang around with her after what happened between you two?”

Roxy sighed, before explaining, “If it weren’t for the fact that we share a mutual friend in Diana, I wouldn’t be hanging with her. Sadly, wherever I go with Diana, she would tag along.”

She then revealed that your sister wanted to ruin your friendship with Eddie for revenge. So, she made her forge your handwriting, making out that you were the one who wrote the entries.

“I guess my dyslexia gave it away,” Roxy had let out a small chuckle, before admitting that she was surprised that your sister didn’t catch on sooner. “Mind you, she was always a self absorbed bit-.”

“Roxy,” Eunice interjected.

“Sorry,” Roxy apologised, before Chrissy asked why your sister wanted revenge against you.

Roxy sighed, as she shrugged her shoulders, before telling her, “I don’t know. Probably jealousy as her sister have their parents’ attention. I wish I could tell you more, but-“

Roxy stopped , as she heard the door knock.

The four of them turned to find Shelia standing in the doorway, before she spoke, “Sorry to interrupt, but Ronald wanted to stop the physio session for today. He said that he’s getting tired.”

“Thank you for letting us know,” Eunice replied.

“No problem. I’ll be back later to give him his medication.”

Shelia turned to Max and Chrissy, and asked if they needed a ride back.

“Yeah, thanks. Could you drop us off at Family Video please?” Chrissy asked.

“Sure, I’ll need to get some supplies in town anyway.”

Chrissy thanked her, as they both got up and began to leave when Roxy spoke up. “I really am sorry for all of this. If I knew what the repercussions were going to be, I would’ve told my ex the truth sooner. I take it that Munson’s still in the hospital?”

“Yeah, apparently he’s gonna be discharged soon,” Max replied. “Why?”

“I wanna tell him that it was me who wrote it,” Roxy said, before telling them that she owed you that.

Chrissy gave her a small smile, before thanking her, when suddenly, she and Max heard Nancy’s voice on the supercom, “Guys? Are you there? I’m heading to Roxy’s house, can you let me know where you are?”

Max took out the supercom, before responding, “We’re on the other side of town. Can you meet us at Family Video? We’ll explain everything when we get back. Is Steve still with you?”

“He’s gone to find Eddie.”

Chrissy took the supercom from Max, before asking, “Why? I thought he was recovering.”

Nancy revealed that Eddie might be trying to find you.

At the Wheeler’s house, Mike was on the phone in the basement when Nancy came downstairs. She announced, “I have to meet Max and Chrissy…what are you doing?”

“What does look like?” Mike retorted. “I’m trying to call the Byers. I need to talk to El.”

Nancy sighed, before telling him, “Look Mike, I know you said that El got her powers back, but how can you be sure that she can help you find her? She’s never met her.”

What Nancy and Mike were unaware of was that Eleven was already in the void, listening to them…

“I know, and I’m not gonna force her to find her,” Mike told Nancy, as Eleven slowly approached them. “I just don’t know what else I do.”

While the siblings were debating on whether or not Eleven should find her, she turned to find a framed photo of him with the Hellfire club. It was the same photo that Mike showed her and Will when he came to visit during spring break. He had mentioned everyone in the picture to them including you.

Eleven turned to the siblings, before leaving the void….

In California, Eleven had removed the blindfold from her eyes, and wiped her bloodied nose, letting herself rest for a moment, before she had the image of the Hellfire members in her head, as she tried to remember your face. She was about to put the blindfold back on when she heard a knock, before hearing Will’s voice, “El? Jonathan’s making lunch, do you-?”

Eleven turned to find Will going into her room, as he stopped talking.

“El? El, what are you doing?” He asked as he knelt down beside her.

“I wanted to talk to Mike, but Joyce was on the phone, so I decided to check on him,” Eleven explained, before telling him that he and the others were still looking for you.

“El, you only got your powers back not so long ago. You should take it easy.”

Disobeying Will, Eleven wrapped the blindfold around her face, as she searched for you…

In the void, Eleven was walking towards a couch. As she moved closer, she realised that you were napping.

Eleven knelt down in front of you, as you mumbled in your sleep. “No…no…”

Eleven slowly moved her hand and placed it on your shoulder, causing you to jolt, as pieces of visions came to Eleven…

Broken down car…water…lake house…

The images repeated before they vanished, as you quickly moved away…

“El? Eleven?!”

Eleven left the void, as she heard someone call for her. As soon as she took off the blindfold, she turned to Will, who had brought Hopper to see her.

“El?” Hopper began to ask. “Why are-?”

“I think I know where she might be,” Eleven interrupted.

Before Hopper and Will could say anything, Eleven ran out of her room, heading to the dining room where Joyce was sitting, making calls.

As soon as Joyce hung up and placed the cordless phone on the table, she heard quick footsteps, causing her to turn her head when Eleven ran up to her and grabbed the phone.

“El…?” Joyce began to speak, as Will and Hopper caught up Eleven.

“What’s going on?” Jonathan asked.

As soon as Eleven finished dialling the Wheeler’s number, she waited for an answer, as Will explained what Eleven had seen.

“Wheeler’s residence,” Mike answered.

“Mike?” Eleven spoke.

“El! I tried calling-“

“Your missing friend… I think I know where she might be.”

Meanwhile in Hawkins, Eddie had finally reached your house. As soon as he got off the bike, he ran up to the door, about to knock on it when he heard a honk. He turned to find Steve’s car pulling up to the driveway.

“Hey!” Steve called out, before getting out of his car. He marched towards Eddie, as he told him, “Are you nuts? You should be resting.”

“Spare me the lecture, Harrington,” Eddie retorted.

“If you think that she’ll be back here, you’re wrong. Or are you here to see your stuck up girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Eddie growled, which confused Steve. He was about to explain why he was outside your house when the front door swung open, as they heard a female voice shriek, “For fuck’s sake! I’m trying to get ready for a party-oh…”

The boys turned to find your sister standing in the doorway, in her dressing gown with a mud mask on her face. She quickly pulled a fake smile, before greeting Eddie with a baby voice, “Hey baby!”

Eddie felt his skin crawl, as he heard her speak. Jesus Christ, was her voice always annoying? He thought to himself.

She quickly grasped her gown, covering her chest, as she giggled, “I didn’t know that you were gonna be discharged today. I was just getting ready to come and see you.”

“Was that before or after the party?” Eddie coldly asked, before barging through the door, almost knocking your sister out of the way. She gasped, as she watched Eddie run up the stairs when Steve slid past her, as he apologised, following Eddie, who was searching your room.

“Eddie, what are you doing?” Steve asked, as he watched Eddie going through your drawers and closet, while your sister yelled from downstairs for barging into the house.

“What does it look like?” Eddie retorted. “I’m looking something, anything that might lead us to her.”

Steve sighed, before telling him, “Look, Eddie man. I don’t know how to say this, but…we, Nancy and I think that-“

“DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!” Your sister shrieked, as she stomped up the stairs, and barged into your room. “YOU CAN’T JUST STORM IN HERE-“

“Recognise this?!” Eddie interrupted, as he pulled out your diary, which made your sister’s eyes widen, and Steve confused.

Your sister scoffed, before speaking, “What are you-?”

“It’s your little sister’s diary. Her actual diary, and not that fake bullshit one you showed me.”

Your sister had let out a nervous giggle, before asking, as she pointed to the diary, “How can you be sure that’s even hers? Are you sure that it doesn’t belong to that Cunningham girl?”

Eddie smirked, as he pulled out your letter, before telling her, “This was left in the diary, which she left for me in my room.”

“Wait,” Steve interjected. “She was there?”

Eddie handed him the letter, which Steve immediately read, feeling heartbroken reading about how no one was on your side, before your sister snatched it from his hands.

“Hey!” Steve exclaimed, as Eddie continued to search through your room when your sister snickered, before mockingly reading aloud, “I cannot stay somewhere where I’m not welcome nor can I be somewhere where no one’s on my side…”

She then started fake crying for a few seconds, before letting out a laugh, which made both boys angry. “God, she’s so dramatic,” she commented.

Eddie growled, as he turned around and marched towards her, before getting stopped by Steve, “Eddie, cool it,” he told him.

“It’s her fault that her own sister’s missing!” Eddie retorted.

“Well, you’re no saint either,” your sister replied. “You’re the one who jumped into conclusions.”

“Shut up.”

“ You’re the one who decided to jump into bed with me-“

“I said shut up!” Eddie moved closer to your sister, as his eyes darkened.

“Eddie, enough!” Steve pulled him back, before telling him, “I know you’re angry, but this…” He gestured between your sister and Eddie, as he continued. “This won’t help us bring her home.”

“How do you know that she’s not home?” Your sister snidely asked. “For all I know she might be hiding in the basement, or even in the Cunningham’s basement, like the rat that she is-“

Eddie was about to scold her when an angry Steve growled, as he turned and pointed at her. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that!”

“Aww…touched a nerve, Stevie?” Your sister asked mockingly. “Didn’t realise that you liked her in that way.”

Eddie faced Steve in confusion, wondering if he also had feelings for you.

“She’s family to me,” Steve dismissed her claim. “And I’m sure she feels that way about me too. At least I’ve treated her better than you do.”

“Oh my heart bleeds,” your sister sarcastically said.

The two of them continued to argue, leaving Eddie to search for clues, as he placed the diary on the desk when he noticed some of items on it. A Corroded Coffin tape, a few Polaroids of him, Steve and Chrissy. He then scanned the desk to find a pair of goggles. He picked it up and realised that they belonged to Reefer Rick. As he gazed at it, he remembered when you went with him to see Rick…

Eddie sat on the couch, as he waited for Rick to come back with his supplies.

He got up and turned to the window, looking through it as he watched you dove into the lake, wearing the goggles Rick lent you, so you could swim while Eddie was doing his deal.

He didn’t want to drag you into his deals, but you insisted on going, making sure that he attended the tutoring session afterwards.

“Here we are,” he heard Rick say, as he heard footsteps approaching. He turned to find Rick placing the bag on top of the table.

“Good old Mary Jane,” Rick commented, as he opened it.

As Eddie handed him the money, Rick said, “Pleasure doing business with you, junior.”

Eddie thanked him, as he picked up the supplies, and the spare towel from Rick, before heading outside, as he called out to you, letting you know that he was ready to go.

You swam towards the lake house and jumped out of the lake, approaching him.

You lifted up the goggles to the top of your head, as Eddie handed you the towel to dry yourself off.

“Thanks,” you said as you wrapped the towel around you, when Rick approached you both, asking how your swim was.

“Definitely refreshing,” you chuckled, before you thanked him for lending you his goggles. You were about to hand them back to him when he insisted, “Keep them.”

You thanked him again, when he said, “You know, I keep a spare key in the plant pot outside if you and Eddie wanted to come over anytime for a swim or something.”

Eddie was about to decline, not wanting you to get involved when you spoke up, happily accepting Rick’s offer.

“How could you say that about your own sister?!” Steve yelled.

Your sister continued to bitch about you, while Eddie’s eyes widened as he realised where you might be. He grabbed your diary and swiftly turned and ran out of your bedroom, leaving your sister and Steve confused.

“Eddie?” Steve called out, as he followed him down the stairs. “Eddie, where are you going?”

“I know where she is,” Eddie replied, as ran out of the house and towards Steve’s car, opening it when a confused Steve stopped, as he asked, “How did you-?”

Steve stopped, as he rummaged through his pockets, realising that Eddie had stolen his key.

“Not again!” He growled, as he ran towards his car, and got in front of it, telling him to get out of the car.

“No! I need to find her!” Eddie bellowed.

“Jesus Christ Eddie , just switch seats, and let me drive!” Steve elaborated.

Eddie reluctantly got out of driver’s seat and got in the passenger side, letting Steve drive when he saw Wayne’s truck driving nearby, before parking.

“Oh shit,” Eddie exclaimed, fearing his uncle’s wrath when Lucas and Dustin came out of the passenger side. Dustin started marching towards him, as he pointed at him. “You idiot! Are you nuts?!”

Eddie tried to answer, but Dustin continued to give the third degree for leaving the hospital prematurely, as he grabbed his bike, with Wayne and Lucas following him.

“Going off like that! You could’ve passed out-“

“Easy, son,” Wayne interrupted, trying to calm the youngster.

He then turned to his nephew, as he lectured him, “He has a point though, Eddie. What were you thinking? Your recovery could be delayed-“

“Hey!”

They turned to find your sister standing in her dressing gown with most of the mud mask removed, as she asked Eddie, “Are you seriously going after her?”

“Yeah, I am,” Eddie retorted. “Like I should’ve done ages ago.”

As he got in the car, she marched towards him, threatening him, “If you go after her, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

Eddie glared, as he retorted, ”You already did, when you ruined my relationship with her.”

Her mouth gaped, as he continued to speak, “Oh, and the way…”

He then pointed at his cheek with his middle finger as he told her, “You still got some right there.”

As she rubbed off the remaining mud, Eddie then flipped her off, which made her gasp.

“See you in hell, succubus!” Eddie cackled while Steve started the car and drove off, leaving your sister seething.

“You’ll be sorry!” She yelled, as she threw her hands up. “No one breaks up with me and gets away with-“

She then cried in pain, as Dustin pushed his bike, running the wheels over her feet, making them dirty.

“Oops,” Dustin sarcastically said as Lucas stifled his laughter. Dustin continued to push his bike, before telling her, “I guess we won’t be seeing you at Hellfire again.”

Your sister growled, as she stomped towards him, about to hit him as Lucas warned Dustin to look out when Wayne grabbed her hand, stopping her.

“Young lady, if you lay a hand on either boys or harm my nephew, you will be in big trouble with not only me,” Wayne sternly told her, whilst pointing to Dustin as he continued, “But with their mothers.”

“Yeah! My mom might look like a sweet lady,” Dustin retorted. “But she would kill you if you even tried to hit me!”

Wayne immediately let go of her hand, and marched towards his truck. Dustin was about to get on his bike when Wayne told him to put it in the back of his truck, so they can both follow Eddie and Steve.

After putting the bike in the back, Wayne, Lucas and Dustin drove off, leaving your sister screaming.

As Wayne drove, he and the boys heard Mike via the supercom, “Lucas, it’s Mike. El called.”

He then mentioned you might be at a lake house.

“Lake house?” Dustin asked.

A few moments later, the older boys drove up to the lake house, before Steve parked the car, with an impatient Eddie immediately getting out of the car.

He then squatted down and lifted the flower pot to check if the key was there, only to find that it was missing.

“Eddie, you do realise that Reefer Rick was incarcerated not so long ago,” Steve spoke. “And the cops might’ve seized everything including any spare keys-“

“Or she might have used it, and is inside,” Eddie retorted as he stood up, before peeking through the window to see any signs that you were in the lake house.

He was sure that you were inside, as he could faintly hear music playing in the background, specifically the Human Racing album by Nik Kershaw.

He continued to peek through, not noticing that Wayne, Lucas and Dustin had caught up with them.

“Is she there?” Dustin asked.

Steve was about to respond when Eddie heard a smash, prompting him to run around the back, with the three of them following him.

When they got to the back, they could see that you were just standing still, not reacting or even picking up the broken cup.

Steve wondered what was going on when Eddie, who realised what was wrong, cursed, “Shit.”

He grabbed the handle to open the back door, only to find that the door was locked.

“No no no, not again,” he mumbled, leaving his uncle, Dustin, Lucas and Steve confused, unaware of the horror that was approaching.

Next

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)

[ateezmakemeweep]

seonghwa x reader x yeosang; love triangle au

word count: 35k

angst, fluff, smut

it was in your first class of the semester, intro to creative writing at nine a.m., that you met kang yeosang.  

you didn’t know what to expect from the college experience, leaving the safety and familiarity of your hometown to come to a new city full of strangers and endless possibilities.

one of them being an all-consuming, butterfly-inducing first love that you missed out on from years of being socially anxious and reclusive.

it all started when you showed up late to your first class, red-faced and flustered and apparently very forgetful.

you sealed your fate the moment you borrowed a pen from the cute boy next to you, sneaky looks and shy smiles eventually morphing into so much more.

september - freshmen year

you’ve seen movies and shows and even heard some things in the halls of your high school about college classes. how they were so much harder than anything you’d been exposed to but also came with more freedom.

you didn’t need a certain color or book for the subject, you could freely leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, you didn’t even have to show up for all the professor cared.

it was also known that there were many different types of people in college: the stereotypical frat boys, boasting about parties and girls as they wore cut-off shirts and showed up to class hungover.

there were the edgier teens and young adults, finding their own look away from the eyes of their parents with piercings and tattoos and brightly colored hair that caught the attention of the older, snooty professor.

and then there was everyone else.

students like you who, maybe, didn’t fit in anywhere yet or didn’t know where they were gonna fit in; but, truthfully, fitting in was the last thing on your mind.

because it was the first day of classes, bright and early in the morning, and you were scrambling into the grand brick building, panicked and breathless, as you searched desperately for room 204.

you set an alarm and got out of your dorm room and everything, a single dorm you are so eternally grateful you secured. but it was a few wrong turns and entering one of the wrong buildings on the other side that landed you your current fate.

winded with messy hair and slightly red cheeks as you entered what you were praying was the right room. the professor was still doing introductions via a powerpoint and barely sparred you a glance, allowing you to easily slip into the first available seat.

you took the professor doing her own introduction and going over the syllabus to catch your breath, calm down and relax yourself because okay, yeah, that was a bit of a mess but you’re here in one piece now.

you made it in without getting scolded, you didn’t fall on your face or trip over the outdated tan carpet and you’re pretty sure no one even noticed you.

“i’ll spare you the ice breakers because i know you guys are gonna get stuck with some in your other classes,” the professor said, another win for you because you can’t imagine anything worse than trying to talk to someone right now.

“i just have a few notes for you to take and then i’ll let you guys go early. how does that sound?”

there’s a chorus of replies muffled by the sound of students shuffling to open their bags, notebooks hitting the table and the satisfying but annoying click of new pens.

it’s upon opening your own backpack that you realized, not only were you late to your first day of college but, you’d forgotten something as simple as a pen.

you rummage through your bag, hoping one just slipped to the bottom and letting out a quiet, annoyed sigh as you come to terms with this. you should’ve just brought your laptop, you already see several other people them so it would’ve been fine.

why do you always have to-

“need one?”

the deep voice from beside you is low and whispered, long fingers attached to a veiny hand offering you a blue pen. you hadn’t even noticed who you sat down next to you, far too consumed in your embarrassment about being late to notice the very attractive, very nice man sitting right next to you.

he couldn’t help but notice you though, if the way your bag hit into his shoulder and the cute little sigh you made when you plopped down right next to him didn’t immediately grab his attention.

his interest was only peeked further when he heard you rummaging next to him, a slight flush on your exposed neck that he can only assume happens when you’re flustered.

his voice ripped you from your frantic searching, eyes meeting his as your breath caught in your throat.

they were deep and brown, with a soft light in them that kept you entranced for far too long. his hair was black and looked soft to the touch, hanging just above his eyes so it didn’t obscure his regal features.

“i... yes please,” you finally answer with a wince, taking the pen from his hold gently. “thank you.”

“no problem,” he responds cooly, keeping his eyes on you for a few fleeting seconds before turning back to the board.

taking notes and focusing on the professor’s voice keeps you occupied most of the time, the pen in your hand and the blue ink on your paper a constant reminder of the person sitting right beside you.

he doesn’t look like anyone you’d ever met before in your life.

sure, you’d had crushes on people from your school back home but that was only because they were nice to you. they weren’t like the majority who made fun of anyone who wasn’t like them - cool and popular and had an interest in going to parties and being social.

there was never anyone who looked like him though, so strikingly attractive and cool even though he’d only said four words to you; maybe this is just showing your inexperience, falling in love at first sight with a person who just gave you a pen and has a pretty face.

“alright we’ll wrap up here. i’ll see you guys next time!”

your professor’s voice pulls you from your thoughts, the rustling of people all around you bringing you back to reality.

you close your book and put the cap back on the pen, grateful you were too distracted by your thoughts to chew it absentmindedly - you probably would’ve had to drop the class if you had to give him back a chewed up, slightly wet pen cap.

you look next to you to see the boy is tucking two books under his arm, about to get up and leave for the day before your lowly spoken voice stops him.

“wait,” you say, quiet but abrupt as he turns around to look at you.

his eyes are soft and glinted with a certain type of amusement, one you can’t quite make out or have the ability to try and determine right now. you can only hold out his pen dumbly, your stare on him blank despite the slight flush to your cheeks.

it only deepens when he holds your gaze, eyes roaming your face before a smile crosses his face and make your heart jump inside your chest.

“it’s okay, keep it,” he says, nodding his head toward your bag.

“oh... are you sure?” you squeak out, “i don’t wanna leave you without an extra pen.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he nods his head, everything about him, his presence, his laugh, his face making you grow even more out of sorts.

“i’ve got more, don’t worry.”

“oh. well, thank you!” you smile softly, tucking the pen in the pocket of your sweater. “i’ll be sure not to lose it.”

“cool,” he chuckles out, the sweet smile on his face causing yours to widen. “i’m yeosang.”

“y/n,” you introduce sweetly, a lingering silence between you two full of soft smiles and wandering eyes; you aren’t aware of that feeling hanging in the air, something so obvious and palpable when two people are immediately attracted to one another, but he feels it.

he felt it in the way he’d sneak glances at you, your brows furrowed as you took notes or the far away look in your eye when you dazed off with your cheek on your hand.

he didn’t know why he was immediately drawn to you, maybe something about your wide-eyed looks or sweet vanilla scent, but he was sure of two things: he needed to know your name and he had to get here early next class to get the same seat next to you.

november - freshmen year

it took yeosang two months to ask you out.

it proved to be one of the more challenging things he’d done within these past two months of school - not because he was nervous or thought you weren’t interested but because getting you to open up was incredibly trying.

he knew you were interested though, if the way you alcoholism when you saw him or continued to sit next to him was any indication of that.

you learned within the first few weeks of class that he was a freshmen like you, had an older sister who also went to this school and planned with his seven high school friends to all attend college together.

“that’s... kind of crazy,” you giggled, a smile on yeosang’s face hearing your laugh ring through the classroom.

the professor was running a few minutes late, leaving you and him and all your other classmates to chat amongst yourselves.

“do you live together?”

“unfortunately,” he says, the pain in his voice causing you to muffle another giggle into your hand. “i love them, don’t get me wrong, but it’s like... constant chaos. and the house is always mess. it’s a miracle that i won rock, paper, scissors for a single room.”

“well that’s good then,” you say with a smile. “i have a single dorm here, too, actually.”

“oh?” he says, head cocked to the side questioningly. “did you wait too long to apply?”

“oh no, i actually... requested it,” you tell him quietly, a slight blush on your cheeks as you explain yourself. “i do better with my own space. i don’t know if i could be around someone, like, all the time. especially if they had different habits than i did.”

“i get that, completely,” yeosang says, a shudder going through him at the mere thought of some of his roommate’s different habits.

like how wooyoung rarely throws out leftover food before putting it in the sick, leaving disgusting, soggy food out that results in all of them gagging and screaming at him.

or how mingi insists on showering in the late hours of the night, the sound of water and pipes squealing ripping him from his slumber.

or, one of his personal favorites, how hongjoong must always have three pairs of shoes stacked on top of the shoe rack - no more, no less, or he says it throws off the rack’s equilibrium and sends him into a frenzy.

“but doesn’t it get lonely?” he asks, “what do you on weekends and stuff?”

“homework, sleep, sometimes go to a coffee shop and do more work,” you shrug, never realizing how much of a reclusive loser you seem to be until this very moment. “i’ve met a few girls from my classes but our project ended a few weeks ago.”

you felt the need to throw that in there, just so he knows you do in fact see other people from time to time.

“well you should come to one of our parties,” yeosang says with a smile.

“my sister’s friend always throws them at his house. they’re fun and don’t get too sloppy since it’s not people our age trying to catch up on the full college experience.”

dread pools in the pit of your stomach at the word party, not being able to picture anything worse than standing in a overcrowded house being surrounded by sweaty, drunk bodies and the stench of alcohol.

but that sounds far too harsh to say to yeosang, instead giving him a small sympathetic smile as you shrug your shoulders.

“i don’t know, i’m not much of a party person,” you confess quietly.

“oh, c’mon,” yeosang whines slightly, swinging his chair to face you playfully.

there’s a glint of something in his eyes, like he’d be fully prepared to beg and plead with you just to see you outside of the classroom or library.

“it’ll be fun! we’ll be able to hang out without finding our voice and engaging the audience.”

you giggle at the words that have left your professor’s mouth about seven hundred times this semester, cocking your head to the side as you looked at him pleadingly.

partially because, if he keeps looking at you like that, you’re gonna crack.

“i don’t go to parties much,” you tell him, a soft sympathetic frown on your face.

you really don’t wanna reject him. you wanna hang out with him outside of this class and school and engaging the audience but why does it have to be in that type of setting?

but it’s not like you can suggest any other setting.

because then it’ll seem like you’re asking him out on a date and that is something you definitely can’t do.

“why? are you scared?” yeosang teases, his eyebrow quirking up along with the smirk on his lips. “i’ll be with you the whole time. you can even meet my friends, they’ll be on their best behavior for you.”

you’ll never get used to the way he says your name. the way his deep voice makes it sound and how butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“yeosang...” you drag out in a slight whine, feeling bad at how eager he’s becoming and how much you really don’t wanna go. but you wanna go for him. you really, really do.

his smile widens at hearing you say his name, the sound of it falling from your pretty lips never failing to give him the same reaction. he wants to hear you say it more, in every way, in every setting, where people and his friends see that you’re comfortable with him.

“please, y/n?” he asks, his face leaning closer to yours.

your faces are mere inches apart, unaware to everyone else in the room sleeping on the tables or texting on their phones.

his eyes are roaming every bit of your face, lips quirked up in a smile that has your eyes falling down to his lips before back to his glinted eyes.

“for me,” he hums lowly, his smile turning to a smirk when he notices you swallow nervously.

“i really wanna hang out with you,” he says, his voice just above a whisper as he speaks to you and only you. “if you hate it that much, we’ll leave and do something else. but i want us to try. i want you to meet my friends and just have fun for a night with me.”

you let out a sigh, the air between you thick and charged as his eyes become more and more hopeful.

“i won’t leave you once. not even to pee.”

you narrow your eyes at him, pushing him back playfully and ignoring the hard muscle under your hand.

“i don’t wanna hang out with you if you’re gonna piss your pants.”

his deep chuckle booms through the room, waking a few students angrily while grabbing the attention of others. but he can only shake his head at you, eyes falling to your lips when he sees you press your teeth into the soft looking skin.

“then it’s a deal. as long as you’re there, i won’t piss my pants. how does that sound?”

you first met park seonghwa at that party on a friday night.

he was just in the midst of the many introductions and first impressions of yeosang’s seven roommates, sealing his fate as yeosang’s incredibly handsome but standoffish best friend.

you were more so focused on how handsome and happy the black-haired was to see you anyway, a smile lighting up his face the second he saw you emerge from your car.

driving yourself was a sure fire way to not drink and get shit faced, release your ever present desire and crush on yeosang in the form of a sloppy drunken kiss and embarrassing, stuttered confession.

“hey guys, this is y/n,” yeosang said, his hand guiding you by the small of your back. “the girl from my class, who-”

“you haven’t stopped talking about? yeah, we figured,” the friend he introduced as wooyoung chirps, throwing his arm around your shoulder. “you’re just as pretty as he said, y/n. do you want a drink?”

you can barely respond to the happy, chipper boy next to you, too distracted by his words and the pink flush creeping up on your cheeks.

“i... uh... no thank you,” you finally stutter out, an awkward giggle leaving your mouth. “i drove myself here so i can’t drink.”

“now why the hell would you do that!” wooyoung yelps, throwing you an incredulous look before punching yeosang in the arm.

“um, ow?!” yeosang says, a smile pulling at your lips at the sound of his voice.

“why would you invite her and not offer her a ride, you sick fuck? now she can’t drink and have fun.”

“i’ll still have fun,” you reassure wooyoung with a sweet smile. “i don’t drink much anyway. or come to parties, for that matter, so this is all gonna be a new experience.”

“oh shit, seonghwa, you hear that?” wooyoung says, nodding his head toward the dirty blonde with a sour look on his face. “she’s a recluse, too.”

“don’t call her that,” yeosang snips at the same time seonghwa says “don’t call me that.”

wooyoung only rolls his eyes before promptly getting whisked away to dance by mingi and san, leaving you and the others huddled around the couch and side table littered with their beers.

“i’m sorry about him,” yeosang says, breathless and defeated in a way only his oldest friend can make him. “he has no filter or knowledge of boundaries.”

“it’s okay, i like him,” you smile, your eyes meeting his and causing your heart to jump.

he looks better than he usual does if that’s even possible, his black hair hanging low and the faint smell of his shampoo wafting in your nose.

he’s wearing the same soft and sweet but amused expression he always has, the strangest mix of someone who looks like they’d be complete trouble but also someone you could bring home to your parents.

“then you’d be the only one,” yeosang chuckles out, the black-haired turning his head to his friend sitting on the couch. “right, hwa?”

“right,” the man’s deep voice booms, your eyes meeting at the same time.

he’s just as striking as seonghwa but not in such a boyish way. there’s a deep, brooding intensity to him that scares you ever so slightly, like he’s just as hard and cold as his expression says.

“do you wanna go meet the others?” yeosang asks, ripping your gaze away from seonghwa. “i think hongjoong and jongho are around here somewhere.”

“oh- sure,” you smile, looking back to seonghwa to see his eyes already on you. “nice meeting you, seonghwa.”

he hums a response before lifting the beer bottle to his mouth, legs spread and neck rolling to the side as if to deter anyone from sitting near him.

yeosang’s hand finds its way to the small of your back again, the warmth seeping through your shirt and making butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“don’t mind seonghwa, he’s a grouch at these,” yeosang says, a small giggle leaving your mouth as you look back at him.

“he seemed nice,” you assure him quietly, your face way closer to his than you anticipated. you can almost feel his minty breath on your skin, warmth all around you as he guides you carefully.

“they all do.”

“good,” yeosang smiles, his thumb rubbing along your back before stopping you in front of two boys playing beer pong.

“you fucking idiot! you suck!”

“fuck off, this is my first time and i’ve gotten more than you!”

you and yeosang share a look of amusement before he clears his throat, the taller boy’s head snapping toward you both. his eyes light up in some sort of recognition, dropping the white ping pong ball and ignoring the way it bounces onto the floor.

“getting your ass handed to you, i see,” yeosang quips, jongho rolling his eyes before holding his hand out to you.

“i’m jongho, yeosang’s coolest and most talented friend.”

a smile lights up your face despite the more crowded and loud area, taking your hand in jongho’s as you introduced yourself.

“you guys are in the same class, right? tell me, how much does yeosang hit his head falling asl-”

“hey, yeosang!”

all of you crane your heads toward the new voice, a group of guys with red, glassy eyes and shaggy hair looking at yeosang expectantly. you don’t recognize them from any of your classes or around campus, figuring they’re older seniors or friend’s of his sister.

“we’re gonna smoke in the back? you wanna come?”

you’re all too aware of the hand on your back moving to your waist, squeezing your hip lightly in a way that’s oddly reassuring in the moment. like he knows this area is louder and more crowded and making you ready to bolt.

you’re only not because he’s next to you and his friends seem incredibly happy to meet you.

“nah, i’m good,” his deep voice reassures.

you watch the boy’s gaze shift from yeosang to you, eyeing your body up and down before it lands on your hips. a smirk crosses his face and he nods his head, an amused “ahh, okay,” leaving his mouth.

there’s an immature and embarrassing chorus of “oohs” and “ahh,” like the grown college men are actually in a class of immature elementary schoolers who just got in trouble.

yeosang only rolls his eyes and flips them off, your eyes widening just as he turns to you with a soft smile.

“my sister’s friends. they’re cool, just stupid as shit.”

you bite down on your lip so you don’t burst out laughing, giving him a small nod that makes his smile widen.

“you wanna try playing beer pong?” he asks, “i’ll drink your beers so you can’t use that excuse.”

your eyes narrow as you pinch him arm gently, his arm knocking into yours as he narrows his in return.

“fine,” you say, “but i’m gonna be bad. i’ve never played before.”

“jongho plays every weekend and is still terrible,” hongjoong says, patting you on the shoulder reassuringly. “so it’s fine.”

“i’m not terrible!”

but come to find out, after nearly three rounds, he was pretty terrible. either he was pretty terrible or you were the fastest learner in beer pong history at this institute.

“you’re gonna be bad?” yeosang mocks with a smirk, your hands awkwardly bumping as you walk around the block.

the house had gotten far too stuffy and crowded after the second round, the noise growing louder and bodies growing closer to you in a way that made you incredibly nervous.

it was fun at first, even you can admit that. but once it got too loud, your discomfort started to show itself.

your wandering eyes, your teeth in your lip, the way you were no longer laughing or high-anniversary hongjoong despite being on different teams. yeosang had caught on immediately, deeming the third game your last before you took a break outside.

the cold air was refreshing and just what you needed but yeosang’s warm body next to you is nice too. the way your cold hand grazes his warm one, the way you’ll look at him any time it happens and catch him already staring at you.

the way, if it wasn’t for him pushing you out of your comfort zone, you would’ve never gone to an unfamiliar party or played a round (or three) of drinking games.

“i didn’t expect to be good, if you could believe that,” you giggle softly, biting down on your lip as you watch your feet. they’d almost be in sync, if you weren’t a naturally fast walker and yeosang had a slower, smoother swagger of a walk.

“i don’t know if i can,” he says, his voice teasing and light as you walk in the darkness. “beginners luck maybe but it seemed like more.”

“well i’ll probably never do it again so i’m glad we discovered this tonight,” you say quietly, a small giggle leaving your mouth.

lost in the way your heart is pounding and butterflies are in your stomach, you don’t realize yeosang isn’t walking until he pulls you by the elbow gently. your back hits in front softly, your eyebrows furrowing as you turn to look at him.

you’re greeted by a look of mock hurt, yeosang’s eyes staring down at you causing another small smile to grace your face.

“what?”

“i thought you’d come back next week,” he says, voice so soft and sweet it makes the butterflies act up even more; he shouldn’t sound like this when he can also sound so scary and intimidating, the deep tone of his voice never failing to send your cheeks blazing.

“we had fun, no? i really like hanging out with you, y/n.”

for a moment you think you ruined something that barely started to build between you two. that the fleeting look of interest in his eye is gonna be shot to hell because he thinks you’re rejecting him in some way.

but you like him.

you really like him and you really like hanging out with him - you just don’t wanna do it in such a...crowded setting.

“i liked it, too, yeosang,” you confess immediately, faintly aware of his fingers toying with yours. “but... parties aren’t my thing. it got too crowded and i just get uncomfortable but i really liked hanging out with you.”

now he’s gonna think you’re stupid. silly and stupid and, quite frankly, weird that you can’t be in a normal setting for college students. maybe you should’ve just pushed through it, maybe you should’ve just-

“so no parties next time?” he asks, the hand toying with your fingers finally fully grasping your hand. the move makes your heart jump in your chest, the perfect fit of warmth and strength in your hand making you bite back a smile.

it doesn’t stop the blush from crossing your face, though, beyond grateful for the darkness in the sky right now.

“we can just hang out us, too. see a movie, go to dinner, whatever you wanna do.”

“so like a date?”

you don’t know why you blurt that out but you’re beyond embarrassed when you realize you do, your eyes growing wide and face heating even more; if the ground swallowed you up right now, you wouldn’t even mind.

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth and it only makes you more embarrassed, your gaze dropping and head falling ever so slightly.

he crouches so he’s staring up at you, a teasing smile on his face that brings a frown to your lips.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know why i-”

“yes, a date,” he says, successfully cutting you off as he rises to his full height and lifts your face to look at him. his finger’s resting under your chin and he’s standing even closer to you, eyes roaming you in such a way that makes you stare back dumbly.

“let me take you on a date. how does tomorrow sound?”

your eyes roam his for a few silent seconds, half because you’re in shock and half because you’re still embarrassed, until you realize he’s standing there awaitingly.

eyebrow quirked cockily and eyes full of amusement, like he somehow already knows you’re not gonna say no to him.

“i... tomorrow’s good,” you finally say, not being able to help the big smile that crosses your face.

the sight causes his heart to lift in his own chest, leaning down to press a soft and surprising kiss to your cheek. it’s simple and chaste and sweet but it makes every bit of you feel even more warm and happy, excitement bubbling inside you as he pulls back and interlaces your fingers together.

dinner and a movie turned into a very impromptu trip to the store for blankets, food and a picnic basket.

the restaurant yeosang planned on taking you to, a new italian restaurant in the center of town, had a two hour wait and the new romcom that followed was sold out for the night, leaving you and yeosang in his car trying to come up with a new course of action.

you insisted that you didn’t care what you did, that you could just go back to your dorm or his apartment and order take out or watch a movie there.

but he noticed you looking at the sky absentmindedly, a far away, fascinated look in your eye at the few visible stars and had an idea of his own.

he refused to tell you what you guys were shopping for, just that you’d see when you got there and could guess as you went along. it had all been so strangely intimate and domestic, yeosang pushing the cart as you threw things in after looking at him pleadingly.

“y/n, i told you to buy the whole damn store if you want. you don’t have to look at me like that over a box of cookies.”

you narrowed your eyes, insisting you will absolutely not do that.

“i just don’t know why you’re not letting me pay for anything. not even gas,” you whine.

he rolls his eyes silently as he pushes the cart along, a smile pulling at his lips as he walks past you.

“and you haven’t even told me what we’re doing!” you yelp after him, running after him like a child who doesn’t wanna lose their parent. he cranes his neck back as he raises an eyebrow, ushering you along to “find out what his genius plan is.”

when he goes down the bedding aisle telling you to pick out the fluffiest blanket, you look at him with suspicion all over your face. a smile pulls at his lips as he ushers you over himself, his hand lingering on your waist.

“this is the nice kind,” you tell him, a happy smile on your face even though it’s white and could very well be stained and destroyed.

“then put it in, pretty girl,” he says lowly, a squeal threatening to leave you as as butterflies erupt in your stomach. a smirk crosses his lips when he sees you get flustered, tightening his hold on your waist for a moment before dropping it entirely.

his real course of action starts when you guys are done shopping, fruits and cookies and crackers stocked in the cart along with a hidden gem he snuck under the cart tray.

it’s by a stroke of luck that, when you guys pass the bathrooms, you ask if it’s okay if you run in there quickly. he tells you to meet him in self check-out as he pays, hauling ass to the register and sticking all the items in a reusable bag.

you come out with a sympathetic smile, asking him for the tenth time if you could please give him some money for tonight’s date.

“absolutely not,” he insists, grabbing your hand so naturally, it’s like you guys have done this for longer than two days. “it didn’t go the way i intended so i have to make it up to you.”

“no you don’t,” you whine quietly, looking up at him as a biting gust of winds sends you shivering. “this is fun, too. you’re just nice to be around.”

a smile lights up his face as he peeks down at you, his hold on you tightening before you quickly reach his car.

you ask where you guys are going for half the ride, a mischievous and coy smile on your face as you beg him to tell you where you’re going and what you’re doing.

you face him the entire time you do so, your fingers toying with his on the middle console. he doesn’t give you any hints but makes sure to keep his hand in yours, soft, sweet chuckles leaving his mouth when you let out more whines and groans.

“just a little longer,” he insists, the warmth of the car and his hand causing your head to rest on the seat.

it’s all very comfortable and calm, the quiet hum of his car nearly lulling you to sleep until you feel the car stop.

your head pops up and your eyes widen when you see you’re down by the beach, about an hour from your town and causing your eyes to gape at him - he just drove this far for the beach in the middle of november.

“the beach?” you ask, a confused smile tugging at your lips. you love it here and you’re certainly not mad, you spend most days in the summer down here, but you guys definitely can’t go in the ocean right now.

“yup,” he says simply, turning off the car before silently getting out. you watch him through the window as he opens the back door, carefully taking out the bag full of food and blankets before making his way to your side.

you send him a smile when he opens your door and extends his hand, a quiet “thank you,” leaving your mouth as you take his hand. he interlaces your fingers and your hands swing between you two, the chill from the ocean biting and cold but also slightly refreshing from the car’s heat.

“so...” you say once you two stop on the sand, the grains lumpy under your sneakers. you’ve never seen the beach this dark and desolate and it would absolutely unnerve you if yeosang wasn’t beside you. “what exactly are we doing here?”

“you mean you don’t wanna swim?”

your expression causes him to chuckle, disconnecting your hands to lay out a blanket on the sand. your next expression, however, warms his heart more than he’s ever felt before.

your eyes widen as they look at him, a surprised and excited gasp leaving as he pulls out a medium-sized picnic basket.

“when... when did you get that?!” you yelp, moving closer to his larger, warmer body to get a good look at it. “i didn’t even see you pick it up!”

“i was sneaky, right?” he teases with a wink, guiding you by the waist to sit down before placing the basket between you.

you barely notice the harsh gust of wind because of your excitement and surprise, yeosang’s hands draping a blanket around your shoulders before you can even shiver.

“i even packed the food. i didn’t really know how to be sneaky for that so it was pure luck that you went to the bathroom.”

and low and behold, when he opens up the white, woven basket, all the food you got was packed in perfectly. plates and utensils were strapped to the top with two small cups next to the array of fruits, cookies, and several ingredients for sandwiches.

you both happened to like cheese ones, your hands grazing and soft giggles leaving when you both reached for it in the frozen section.

“i... i can’t believe you did this,” you mumble quietly, feeling far more touched and happy than you’re willing to let on. “this is so cute. thank you, yeosang.”

you look up to see the soft smile he’s sending your way, his hand reaching out to cup your cold, red cheek. his thumb rubs over the cold skin for a few seconds, like he’s testing the waters to see if this is too much too soon.

the way you lean into him makes his heart start to pound just a little bit, his head cocked to the side as his eyes roam your face - you look so pretty, even with early signs of windburn.

“of course, pretty,” he mumbles quietly, that word again causing the butterflies to return. “thank you for coming on this date with me.”

you eat your sandwiches and fruit huddled under a blanket together, him wiping a crumb from your face and you throwing a stray piece of cheese at him when he calls you messy.

it’s all very tranquil and comfortable, like you guys have known each other for longer than two months. it’s still just enough time to still be unsure though, if your touches are too much or the way you’re looking at each other is setting yourselves up to be hurt.

you couldn’t care about any of that right now, though, laying down on the blanket and looking up at the sky with yeosang by your side.

you started off close, arms brushing before they eventually stayed glue to each other, and now you’re even closer. your head is just mere inches from resting on his chest, a shiver running through you that acts as the catalyst of him pulling you closer to him.

“c’mere” he mumbled lowly, your body immediately moving closer to hm until his warmth and woodsy scent surrounds you. you smile into his sweater, toying with the ends before his large, veiny hands covers your smaller, cold one.

“this was a really smooth idea, you know,” you say after a few moments of silence, eyes threatening to closer and body relaxing if you continue to lay here in the most comfortable silence of your life.

“oh?” he says, hearing the smile in his voice.

“yeah,” you say, tentatively turning to look up at him. there’s a look in his eye that makes you feel comfortable enough to rest your chin on his chest, your eyes briefly falling to his lips. “i think this was better than dinner and a movie. the stars are really pretty.”

a small smile grace his face as he looks at you, hand reaching up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. all of his moves and touches tonight have been slow and gentle, like you’re a piece of glass he has to be fragile with.  

you’ve never been treated like that before and it makes your heart flutter, the sweet look in his palpable even in the darkness.

“they are,” he mumbles, his eyes not leaving you as his hand gently moves down your face.

your skin is smooth and cold and he doesn’t think he ever wants this moment to end. the closeness, the wide-eyed look you’re giving him, the way he feels so content and at ease, it’s like he doesn’t know how he lived peacefully before this.

“when’s our next date gonna be?”

a smile lights up your face as a cute giggle leaves your mouth, his hand on your chin constricting your movements ever so slightly.

“this one isn’t even over,” you tease lightly, eyebrows raising playfully. “what if when it ends, you don’t wanna see me again?”

“and why would that happen?” yeosang asks curiously, genuinely confused and positive that that wouldn’t be the case. because as he pulls your face a tad closer to him, your amused expression dropping to one of a surprise, he’s certain of two things.

he’ll never get tired of seeing you and he wants to kiss you right now.

“because, right now,” he starts again, voice low and deep that effects every part of your body. “i wanna kiss you more than anything. and then make sure i see you soon, as soon as possible, really, so i can do it again.”

you swallow nervously as you look at him wide-eyed, the confidence and sureness in his words causing your eyes to drop to his lips again.

you meet in a kiss half way that’s just as gentle and sweet as it is fulfilling. it’s a kiss that shows it’s your first time kissing each other but that’s what makes it so nice for both of you.

it’s slow and chaste but everything about it is pure. there’s no other intention than just kissing, testing out and acting on the attraction that was building the moment you saw each other.

he moves you on your back gently to hover over you more comfortable, your eyes closed as your arms wound around his neck. he doesn’t even make a move to deepen the kiss in any way, his tongue barely flicking out to trace the outline of your lips.

it’s then you pull back breathless, looking at him above you with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest.

“i... i want that, too,” you admit quietly after a few seconds, his eyes on you and yours on him.

because you wanna see him again, you wanna see more of his smile and hear more of his laugh and get to know the boy who briefly his way into your heart and mind so quickly.

“good,” he mumbles, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek before pecking the other one with a smile. “that makes me happy.”

you wanna kiss him again but he flops back down beside you before you can daringly initiate one, pulling you atop his chest again as he wraps his arm around you.

it takes everything in you not to fall asleep right there and then, feeling so comfortable and safe beside him, you’re excited to see how your next date is gonna go with him.

febuary - freshmen year

your second date turned into many more, becoming more comfortable and familiar with each other until, one night, he finally asked you to be his girlfriend.

it wasn’t anything grand, just after a night of late night drives and fast food run. your feet were up on the dash and you fed him salty, fattening fries with the moon as your witness.

he looked over at you occasionally, watching as you sipped from your drink or took a bite of your sandwich and realized in that moment, he needed you to be his.

officially.

because as far as he was considered, you were his and he was yours after your first date stargazing.

“y/n?” you hear him say, your mouth still connected to the straw as you guzzle down your soda. you move your gaze to see him looking at you, nervously swallowing your drink as your eyebrows pull together.

“what?” you ask, immediately wiping at your face and mouth. “is there something on my face?”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he shakes his head, eyes roaming you for a few more seconds before his hand is resting on your face. the movement causes your heart to stutter, eyes widening and heart starting to pound.

you hope he can’t hear it. you think there’s about a 40% chance that he does and those odds are way too high for you.

“i like you,” he says.

the confession is short and sweet and everything about it is genuine. the way his voice drops and he’s looking at you with such a soft fondness, you can’t find the words to respond.

“i really like you, y/n,” he mumbles, his thumb slowly caressing the side of your face.

every stroke of his finger makes your heart pound more and more, your eyes looking up at him with a palpable look of, both, fear and fondness. because you like him, too. you really, really like him but that scares you a little.

so does the way he’s looking at you, touching you so softly and sweetly and not tearing his gaze away from you.

“i want you to be mine,” he finally says, breaking the silence in the car. “will you be my girlfriend?”

his friends took the news of your relationship just as you expected, excited and overwhelmingly supportive, with a few lingering eyes that went unnoticed by everyone.

but that’s because he made sure to keep it that way.

you didn’t go to yeosang’s often but when you did, you made sure to talk and hang out with each and every one of them. some of them were crazier and chattier than others but you found it all very endearing - no matter how overwhelmed and scared it made you.

seonghwa was the only one who seemed to be on your level, able to sit in a room and observe without saying much unless directly spoken to.

you haven’t talked to the handsome boy a lot, just casual greetings and goodbyes, but you just knew you were intimidated by him. he always held such a stern, hard expression on his face, dignified and serious in a way that just didn’t seem to match the group.

the only times you’d see him crack a smile when the boys would start brawling or hongjoong said a corny, uncharacteristic joke.

he did’t make you feel uncomfortable or unwanted though, he always said hi and always made you feel welcomed by making extra food for you or automatically setting an extra spot for you.

it was subtle but it was nice, always making you feel just a little more welcomed by yeosang’s friends - but when valentine’s day came, yeosang did everything in his power to let his roommates know they were not welcomed in their own home for the night.

“what?!” wooyoung screeched when hongjoong broke the news to them. “where the hell are we supposed to go on valentine’s day as seven single losers?! and then get a hotel?! are you nuts?”

yeosang only stared blankly at the boy as groans of protest were heard from the others, grumbles of “who said i’m single?” and “i’m not a loser,” throughout the  apartment.

“when did i say you could never come home you dramatic fuck?” yeosang sneered, “i just asked for a few hours!”

he had been tormenting himself for weeks about what to do for valentine’s day  with you. you insisted over and over again that, really truly, you didn’t want to do anything.

but he thought you deserved it and he’d never actually had a girlfriend during this god forsaken holiday - he had to try it at least once and what better time than with someone like you?

“that might be the problem though,” seonghwa said to him one night, after hearing his friend carry on for hours and hours.

yeosang looked to his friend on the couch with a confused expression, the dirty blonde rolling his eyes.

“she doesn’t like crowds or loud noises. you think it’s really a good idea to bring her out to a restaurant or public place on valentine’s day?”

naturally an extrovert, yeosang would’ve never thought that to be an overwhelming or distasteful prospect. the booming voices of people and laugher and music was something he’d loved all his life but, seonghwa’s right, you don’t like that.

you didn’t like it at the party and you don’t like it here. you don’t like when a restaurant or movie theater is too crowded, always choosing an area that’s more secluded and quiet.

“shit, you’re so right, hwa,” yeosang says, slapping his friend on the arm gratefully. “maybe i’ll just make her dinner here. we can stay in, that’ll be nice, right?”

seonghwa gives a disinterested shrug and yeosang can see he lost his friend already, wondering how the dirty blonde even knew that until he remembers, he’s the same way.

avoids crowds and big outings like the plague, only humoring them because they’d all annoy the shit out of him if he didn’t. and he thinks if seonghwa had a valentine, he’d wanna do the same thing with them.

“okay, okay, okay,” wooyoung says, the only one of the seven that had shit to say per usual. “we will go out and get shit faced if you insist. cry about our sad single lives and the fact we’re not loved this year. but... i ask that you save some left over food and buy us at least two drinks.”

hongjoong knew to rush the boys out of the apartment in a timely fashion after that, already seeing in his mind the brawl that wold ensue between yeosang and wooyoung - and once that happens, everyone else will pick sides and create more chaos.

it leaves yeosang with a little over two hours to prepare the house and dinner, lighting a candle and throwing nonsense into any closet that would fit in until the aroma of spices and flavors filled the air.

he told you to come at seven on an empty stomach, that he’d be providing drinks, dinner and dessert and to not even try bringing him a gift the same way you requested; but when you show up at seven on the dot with a cute little pink bag, he sees you did’t listen either.

“baby... i told you i didn’t need anything.”

“and i said the same thing,” you whine, poking him in the stomach lightly as you walk through the apartment.

it’s the most spotless you’d ever seen the place, a soft touched smile on your face as you picture him scrambling to clean and get the boys out.

“you even cleaned.”

“please, i made the boys do it before i kicked them out.”

“yeosang!” you squeal, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend of two months. “you didn’t have to do that!”

“believe me, i did,” he assures, pulling you by the hand to the table set for two. he pulls out your chair and you bite back a smile, mumbling a quiet “thank you,” as you watch him prepare two plates of food.

the idea of this always embarrassed you, a cheesy romantic dinner with candles and chivalry and a boyfriend who looks at you so lovingly. but now that you’re here, you know you’ve never felt this happy before.

that seeing him do this for you and only you is one of best feelings in the world; you’re still not crazy about valentine’s day, you find it all very cheesy and dramatic, but you think it just has to do with the fact that you’re with yeosang is why you’re so happy and touched tonight.

“this is good,” you hum through a mouth full a food, a smirk on his face as he reaches over to dap at your messy lips.

“yeah?”

“yeah,” you answer through narrowed eyes, yeosang’s deep melodic laugh quickly melting your annoyed expression way.

“you look pretty.”

your brows pull together in confusion, slurping noodles into your mouth at the exact moment he says that.

you look down at your outfit in contemplation, a simple comfortable outfit you were excited to wear when he asked if you wanted to stay in for valentine’s day.

you were shocked when that was the plan he came up with, knowing that yeosang enjoys going out and socializing every day and night; but that’s what happens when you’re good at it. when you’re so charismatic and joyful and just so naturally draw people into you.

he asked if you wanted to go to dinner or a movie or do a crazier type of date but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no. just told him he can plan it and you’ll go along with whatever he wants.

you ended up getting a text from him asking if you just wanted to stay in. that he’d cook for you and you guys could just hang out and watch movies as long as they weren’t cheesy romantic comedies.

“why do you look so surprised?” he chuckles, ripping you from your thoughts as a small, shy smiles finally rises on your face - you don’t feel very pretty, in fact, you thought you actually looked kind of sloppy.

“i don’t know,” you mumble, a blush creeping up on your face as you twirl your noodles.

you feel his gaze boring into your face, pressing your lips together before finally raising your eyes to him.

“what!” you squeal, face heating up even more in a way that causes a deep, melodic chuckle to leave yeosang.

“you’re cute, that’s what,” he says, eyes roaming your face before they fall on the small, pink gift next to you. “and it’s because you’re cute i’m not mad you got me that.”

you follow his eyes to the bag by your elbow, huffing as you meet his mock harsh gaze.

“how could i not get you something?” you whine. “you never let me buy anything ever! and you made all of this food.”

he watches as you slurp up the last of your food, smiling gratefully at him before standing up from your chair. you take the bag next to you and pad over to him shyly, holding out your hand awaitingly.

he looks at it before meeting your gaze, eyebrow quirked with a smile pulling at his lips.

“what?”

“i wanna give it to you before i do this dishes.”

“like fuck.”

your eyes widen as a laugh bubbles out of your mouth, smacking him in the arm lightly before he loops an arm around your waist. you fall into him with a squeal, your heart stuttering when you’re suddenly in his lap and he’s smiling down at you.

“i- it’s only fair,” you manage to stutter out, feeling silly for being flustered over being in his lap. “you cooked all of this for us.”

there’s a pout on your lips that he can’t help but notice, next to the wide-eyed innocent shock that’s always behind your eyes.

when he pulls you in his lap the same way he did now, watching you shift and move on him in ways he doesn’t think you realize what you’re doing.

when make out sessions turn more intense, his lips trailing down your neck and his hands squeezing your hips that has tiny, small pants leaving your mouth.

when he gets more bold and tells you all the things he wants to do to you when you’re ready, lowly mumbled in your ear so he can pull back and see just how red and lustful you are at the thought of his head between your legs.

he didn’t wanna rush any part of your relationship in that regard.

one because he liked you, he really, really liked you and it wasn’t about that for him, and two because he just knew you hadn’t done much before and didn’t want you to feel pressured in any way.

it didn’t stop his own desires from surfacing. from him getting hard with you on top of him and jerking off to the thought of you when you two would part ways.

it’s feelings he’s trying to push down right now, your wide-eyed look staring at him as a soft, sweet smile pulls at his lips.

“and i’ll clean it for us, too,” he mumbles, his arms wrapping around your waist loosely before his eyes move to the bag - the disdain in which he looks at it could only be described as incredibly dramatic.

“once you see what it is, you’re gonna feel bad for looking at it so meanly,” you say with a swat to his chest, dangling the bag in front of his face.

his interest is peeked, a mischievous look behind his eyes that makes your cheeks flame. a soft chuckle leaves his mouth as he takes the bag from your hand, carefully taking out the festive pink and red wrapping paper.

the first thing he feels is cool metal, his hesitant gaze move toward you only to be met with a soft, encouraging smile. he rolls his eyes playfully, unveiling the gift that has his heart jumping in his chest.

it’s a framed photo of you two he’s never seen before, you smiling at the camera and him smiling at you as his arm rests around your shoulder.

he recognizes it from one of the parties he took you to a few weeks ago, the pretty red dress you wore with black tights under leaving him unable to tear his eyes away from you all night.

there’s even picture proof right in front of him, his gaze so soft and sweet on you he feels the slightest hint of an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

“you looked so pretty that night,” he mumbles lowly, a low, short chuckle leaving his mouth that has your stomach swooping dangerously. “who took this picture?”

“who do you think?” you quip sarcastically, remembering half the night you were hiding from one particular friend with black hair and a high-pitched laugh.

“wooyoung’s stupid ass,” yeosang grumbles, his finger sliding over the cool metal of the frame.

he has a lot of pictures of loved ones and likes documenting moments with family, friends, even the people he meets once but has a great experience with. but this picture is by far his favorite, the way a smile is stretched across your face and how comfortable you look beside him.

“thank you, baby,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “i love it, my new favorite picture.”

“i wrote something on the back, too,” you tell him sweetly, cheeks warm as you watch his eyebrows pull together.

he looks at you for a few moments, smiling when your lips quirk up and you nod your head encouragingly.

when he flips it over, he sees your neat handwriting in red ink with i’s darted with hearts.

i really like you, too :) happy valentine’s day ♥

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth, cheeks turning pink as he throws his head back and looks at you fondly.

“i never said anything after you asked me out because i was too nervous and shocked,” you tell him honestly, his smile widening as he watches you speak. “so i just wanted to assure you.”

“thank you, baby,” he laughs out, placing the picture down and wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. “i’m glad you’re letting me know two months into this that you do in fact like me.”

a squeal of protest and defense tries to leave your mouth before he shakes his head, cutting you off with a kiss to your lips that you immediately meet. it’s chaste despite the way you’re in his lap, your mouths parting and his tongue licking along your bottom lip.

“your turn for a gift,” he says when he pulls back, both of you slightly breathless. “go wait on the couch.”

“but i wanna do the-”

“i’m just gonna stick them in the dish washer,” he tells you, the look in his eye proving you’re not gonna win this conversation. “just find something for us to watch, okay?”

you stare at him for a few seconds, his gaze and face unwavering causing you to let out a groan and jump off his lap. he smirks to himself as he begins to clean off the table, watching you pad over the couch to turn on the tv.

you seem comfortable in his house.

you look like you belong there and that makes his heart pound in his chest the whole time he puts the dirty dishes away.

he sneaks into his room to grab your gift before joining you, plopping down on the couch next to you and causing a tiny, surprised squeal to leave your mouth.

“you scared me!” you giggle, a quiet “sorry,” leaving his mouth as he starts to  dangle a small white bag in front of your face. your eyebrows pull together as you snap your head to him, a content, almost conniving smirk on his face.

“yeosang...”

“i never said dinner was your gift so stop looking at me like that,” he says, his hand on your cheeks squeezing them together lightly.

your lips are pushed together and pouted and he has to resist the urge to kiss them, your eyes shooting daggers into him the only thing holding him back from doing so.

you take the bag with a small sigh, your eyes softening when he smiles down at you.

your heart nearly drops when you see a small black box wrapped in the white, glittery paper, your wide eyes meeting his that makes him throw his hands up innocently.

“not an engagement ring, don’t worry.”

a snort leaves you as you hit his arm playfully, licking over your lips before opening the box with shaky hands.

the first thing you notice is the amount of diamonds.

small, sparkly diamonds in a crescent moon shape that makes your eyes widen. it’s shining under the faint light of living room, the tv blaring and candles from the table filling the room with the aroma of cotton candy and sugar - courtesy of jongho’s love for festive candles.

“yeosang...”

the gift leaves you just as speechless as it does emotional, tears pricking your eyes because while you love it and you’re so grateful, he didn’t have do this; you didn’t expect any gift from him since he cooked you dinner tonight.

“do you like it?”

“of course i like it, i love it,” you’re quick to say, the feeling in your chest the biggest indication of that. “but i didn’t need this, yeosang. it’s too much.”

“it wasn’t,” he insists with a small, half-amused pout, his hand running through your hair before caressing your cheek gently. he smiles when you lean into his touch, thumb running along your smooth skin.

“i saw it and i thought of you.”

you look from him down at the necklace in your hand, a small smile on your face at the memory.

your arms grazed as you laid out on the blanket together, the cold chill in the air bringing your bodies closer and closer together. neither of you even noticed until the warmth of other’s skin sent shockwaves through you, a blush on your cheeks and a shy smile on his face.

“this was kind of better than dinner and movie i think,” yeosang’s deep voice says, breaking the comfortable silence that’s fallen over you. you rest your chin on his chest as you look up at him, a small smile on your face as you nod your head.

“i think so too,” you say sweetly, sticking your cold hands under the blanket. “definitely the best first date.”

a soft smile crosses his face, his cold hand cupping your cheek as his gaze roams over your face. the light of the moon is the only source of light tonight, shining in your eyes with a look that’s making his heart pull in his chest.

he couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, the fascinated, content look on your face as peered up at the sky. take in the sight of shining stars and the crescent moon and the dark waves crashing on the shore.

it’s a sight that’s gonna remind him of you now. the moon and the stars and the distinct feeling of being content and at ease on the beach at night.

“good,” he says with a sense of finality, pressing a sweet, chaste peck to your lips. he smiles when you meet it back hesitantly, everything about it innocent and slow and just how he wants to pursue you.

“the moon’s gonna remind me of you now so i hope our second date goes well too.”

“our second date went well,” you mumble, toying with the necklace in your hand as you observe the amount of diamonds.

you’re almost uncomfortable at the thought of having something like this around your neck, knowing it was expensive and that you’ve never received a gift like this before.

“it did,” he says, the slightly crestfallen look on your face casing him to frown. “do you not like it? is it cheesy?”

your face falls the second you hear those words, the rapid shaking of your head causing a smile to pull at his lips.

“no! no, no, no, of course not,” you’re quick to reassure, guilt building in the pit of your stomach.

“i love it. i really, really, love it and it’s so beautiful. but i didn’t need a gift like this, yeosang. i feel bad that you got this and i got you a $15 frame with a secret picture.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he rolls his eyes, shutting you up with a kiss to your lips. his hand weaves through your hair and you make a tiny noise against it, clutching the necklace in your hand tightly.

“i wanted to get you it,” he says when he pills back, slightly breathless as he looks down at you.

“it wasn’t about the money. i love that picture and what you wrote on the back,” he teases, your eyes narrowing despite the embarrassed flush on your cheeks. “so don’t feel bad and please accept the gift, baby.”

he must see something in your eyes that shows him he won, a proud smirk on his face as he takes the necklace from your hold and brings it around your neck.

his hands graze your hair before touching the sides of your neck, the feel of his skin on yours causing you to bite down on your lip. his smirk widens as he struggles to clasp the necklace, all nervous feelings subsiding when a small giggle leaves your mouth.

“are you having a tough time?”

“no,” he grumbles, another small giggle leaving your mouth until you’re suddenly pushed down on the couch - necklace successfully on and back pressed up against the cushions.

all laughs and smiles are completely wiped off your face with the pressure of his body on yours, his smirking face above you causing your breath to quicken.

“oh? are you having a tough time now?”

he sounds so cocky and teasing, it should make you narrow your eyes. tease him with just as much of a conniving, wise-ass tone and smug look. but instead, your stomach swoops and your eyes move to his lips and like there’s a break in a dam, your mouths meet in the start of a fervent kiss.

he holds himself above you, tongue slipping in your mouth as he swallows your small, quiet moans. his hand trails itself down the side of your stomach to rest on your hip, the pressure of him and his lips on yours all consuming.

your hand travels to the back of his head, tugging lightly at the strands before a squeal leaves your mouth.

his deep chuckle rings through the quiet apartment as he lifts you up, plopping you down on his lap before connecting your lips again.

it’s the fastest you both have ever moved, your hands toying with the bottom of his shirt while his hands grasp your hips tightly. pulling your body closer to his  and moaning into his mouth when you rub against him a certain way.

you feel him smirk against your lips, pulling back every so slightly to catch the growing hint of lust and desire in your gaze.

“oh? that feel good?”

your cheeks flush at the tone of his voice, swallowing the embarrassed lump in your throat as you nod your head timidly.

“let me know when you wanna stop,” he mumbles, his words kissed along your neck making you sure you never want him to.

your mouths connect again in a fit of tongues meeting and bodies crashing, foreign feelings of arousal coursing through your veins. you guys always took things slow but you were never sure why - if he was doing it for you or if he just didn’t wanna do that step.

but you were secretly even hoping tonight, you’d be able to go further.

that’s why when his hands trail along the bottom of your shirt, warm fingers dipping under to touch your skin, you move into him even more. pulling back to look at him through hooded eyes as you nod your head.

you don’t even have the time to feel apprehensive when you’re sitting there in just a lace bra, exposed and slightly cold with goosebumps on your skin, because yeosang’s quick to assure you.

look at you with a soft, sweet fascination and tell you how beautiful you look for him.

both your shirts hit the living room floor before he’s scooping you up, a surprised squeal leaving your mouth that brings a smile to his face.

he plops you down on the bed shoved in the right corner of the room, clothes littering the floor and a mess of wires near the desk. it’s a little messy but it smells surprisingly clean, like a mix of cologne and yeosang’s natural teakwood scent.

“we don’t have to do this,” he says, his body looming above yours.

because you guys really don’t have to do this, he’d be perfectly content watching movies tonight with an inkling of kissing or touching, but, fuck, does he want to.

he’s wanted to hear you moan and touch you and taste you since you both started dating. since he looked at you under the stars and knew he’d fall for you shortly after.

“i want to,” you confess, a soft blush on your cheeks as you look up at him,

he rolls his tongue over his lips, biting down every so slightly in a way that makes your lower stomach tighten in desire. the look in his eyes is too much, it’s nothing you’ve ever seen before. like he wants to-”

“i want to ruin you,” he mumbles, bending down to press a peck on your neck. “i won’t do it tonight,” he continues, trailing his lips down your chest before bringing his hand to the lace.

his finger traces the red material, sliding one of the straps down before tugging down your bra. his eyes move to your nipple, hardening in the cold air as he feels his cock do the same.

“i’m gonna be slow and gentle and so good to you, baby,” he says, his hot breath fanning over your exposed boob. his lips are so close to touching your skin, the warmth and wetness bringing tingles to your skin.

“i only ask that you moan for me, okay?” he mumbles, his tongue swiping across your nipple causing a choked, strangled gasp to leave you. you feel him smirk against your skin and can’t even be embarrassed by it, just wanting more of him and more of the pleasure he’ll give you.

“doesn’t seem like that’s gonna be a problem though, pretty girl,” he chuckles out, mouth closing around your nipple again as his hands trail down your side.

every sensation seems heightened and overwhelming, completely aware of how heavy your breathing is and the building pit of desire in your stomach. desire that heightens when his hand ghosts past your pants, his middle finger tracing small circles through your leggings.

he can feel your legs widen and a smirk crosses his face, sucking at your nipple once more before pulling back and meeting your lips. you moan at the feeling of his fingers moving quicker, a strangled “yeosang, please,” catching you off guard as much as him.

but it seems to get things in to motion - because your leggings are done and your skin hits the cold air a few moments later, yeosang tugging his shirt over his head before his hands are back on you.

you’re laying beside him, head resting on his bare chest when he slips his hand in your underwear. rubbing quick, skilled circles on your clit as your breathing labors and you whine into the air.

“have you ever been touched like this before, baby?” he mumbles, a shake of your head causing him to stop his movements all together. you whine at the loss of pleasure, looking at him with glossy, confused eyes that makes him hold back a smile.

he likes seeing how desperate you got. how ready and willing and eager you are for him.

“have you ever been touched like this?” he repeats, a croaked whine of “no,” leaving your mouth that makes him smile. continue his blissful strokes on your clit as a finger slowly enters you.

you’re so wet that you welcome the stretch with a moan of pleasure, a deeply grumbled “fuck,” causing your eyes to roll back when he hesitantly adds another.

“you’re so wet, baby. you’re so fucking wet for me.”

you nod dumbly, not being able to find the words as his pointer and middle curl  and he fucks you with his fingers. you moan his name when the pleasure becomes too much, wanting to scream when he suddenly removes his hand from you.

you watch through hooded eyes as he tugs your underwear down with his teeth, his mouth pulled into a smirk until they’re only just past your upper thighs.

because like he’s so eager and can’t wait, like he’s been waiting for this moment since he knew you were gonna be okay with it, he looks down at your bare, soaked pussy with a look of hunger you’ve never seen before.

“let me eat you out,” he says, his words choked out and tone deep and strangled. “please, baby, can i?”

his voice sounds as desperate as you feel and you have to sit up so you can crash your lips on his, the overwhelming need to kiss him coming over you. he meets it back immediately, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses and tongues until you pull back and tell me “please.”

his tongue brings you to your first orgasm, your thighs shaking between his head as your hand runs through his black hair desperately.

when his cock springs free, he circles it around your entrance and enters you slowly. sweet, soft spoken words of “it’s okay,” and “you’re doing so good, angel,” that make the whole experience that much better.

you feel full and he feels so good inside you, both your moans ringing through the air and the smell of sex in the room until he’s coming in you. hips bucking and slamming quickly to follow his high before he flicks your clit a few times to bring you to your second orgasm of the night.

you both lay there after, naked and panting, before he’s up and getting a warm, wet rag. there’s a slight sting but it makes you feel incredibly love and vulnerable, watching as he cleans between your legs with a sweet, gentleness and diligence.

“was that okay?” he mumbles in your hair, the faint scent of sweat and perfume on your skin. you only mumble and nod against him but he needs to see your face in this moment.

see that this was just as amazing and fulfilling for you as it was for him.

and when he meets your gaze, his thumb under your chin to meet his eyes, he can see it was. in your glossy eyes and shy smile and pink cheeks that makes him wanna kiss you all over again.

“it was good. really good,” you confess quietly, a small deep chuckle leaving his mouth as he moves a sweaty stand of hair behind your ear.

“yeah? really good?” he teases, eyebrow quirked as he pecks a playful kiss on your cheek. “just how good?”

your blush intensifies as you hide your face in his chest, his laugh mumbled against your head as you feel his lips press against your head.

you two eventually venture back into the living room after a few more kisses and wandering hands, plopping on the couch fully dressed and cuddled into one another when there’s a commotion right outside the apartment door.

the both of you turn to see the seven other boys barreling through in a drunken, sloppy daze, yunho holding mingi and jongho up while hongjoong holds san and wooyoung. seonghwa follows behind with an annoyed expression, meeting yeosang’s gaze that screams you will pay for this.

“what the hell happened?”

“single people drank for free,” hongjoong says, watching as the four drunken idiots either collapse onto the floor or stumble into the kitchen; seonghwa follows quickly behind, because as much disdain as he has, he doesn’t wanna see anyone light themselves on fire.

“so you could only imagine how that went. i don’t even know how many peanut butter and jelly shots san and wooyoung had.”

“that is so disgusting,” yeosang says, your head nodding against his chest because “i’m sorry, but that kind of is. maybe you guys should have some water now.”

“it was good, y/n!” jongho whines, throwing himself down next to you and yeosang. he slumps against the arm of the couch, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before his eyes shoot open.

you and yeosang watch as he does so, quickly rising from the couch and sniffing like a police dog in front of a bag of drugs.

“the fuck’s your problem?”

“who lit my cotton candy candle?!” the boy yelps, taking one whiff of the air and being positive he’d know that smell anywhere. “and why does it barely mask the smell of sex?!”

your eyes widen and a deep, red blush overcomes you, a growl leaving yeosang at the same time hongjoong comes over and tugs the boy up by his arm. the smaller boy throws you an apologetic look as he escorts jongho to his room, yeosang’s arm tightening around you as you hide yourself in his chest.

“does it really? i don’t smell anything.”

yeosang bites down on his lip so he doesn’t start laughing, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he shakes his own for your own peace of mind.

“no, baby. it’s fine. he’s just a drunk idiot.”

april - freshmen year

maybe it was because you guys started out so strong.

with great communication and constant assurance that kept you both aware of each other’s feelings.

you knew when he was feeling unsure about your quietness, wondering if it was something he did or if you just weren’t feeling good that day.

he knew when you were feeling overwhelmed, realizing just how different you two were the longer you were together. how he was just so outgoing and charismatic and extroverted and you just... weren’t.

how now that they honeymoon phase was over, stupid little arguments would break out. about what to do on the weekend, about where to eat, about staying in to study versus going to a cafe on campus.

they weren’t even real fights but it was enough to make you see a change in you guys. enough to see that, maybe, one day, this was gonna be a problem and you two would have to overcome it or let it ruin something good.

“we’re having seonghwa’s birthday party at the house tonight,” he tells you during your study session, another argument he won by bribing you with hot chocolate and sugar cookies at a local cafe.

you look up from your work and nod your head, a small smile on your face at the thought of seonghwa and the others.

you’ve gotten a lot closer to all of them over the past few months, even seonghwa who took a little bit longer to come out of his shell. but now that you talked to him you saw how nice and funny he was.

how he comes across as scary and standoffish but, really, is one of the most loyal and observant friends in the room.

he always knows when people are uncomfortable or have had too much of someone or something for the night - you watched him physically separate wooyoung and san when the both had too much alcohol and were getting snippy with each other.

his presence brings a comfort over you that you can’t quite explain. maybe because it seems like he’s kind of like you - quiet and shy and doesn’t like being the center of attention.

which is why you’re shocked in the first place he even agreed to a party.

“oh, he didn’t,” yeosang says, a smirk on his face as he thinks back to the night they all gave him an ultimatum. “but it was the lesser evil that we gave him so he agreed.”

“oh?” you quip, eyebrow raised as you play footsie under the table. “and what was it? making a restaurant sing him happy birthday?”

a wide smirk crosses yeosang face as he nods, a giggle leaving your mouth as you smack his arm lightly.

“you guys are bad.”

“eh, he’s dramatic,” he says, your gaze dropping back down to your work.

he’s said that a few times when you tell him a restaurant or bar is too crowded. when you’re at one of his sister’s house parties and the beer pong table is becoming far too overwhelmingly and crowded for your liking.

it’s always in a joking manner, him whisking you away despite others’ groans of protests, but it still secretly makes you a little sad.

“i actually have to go help them set up in a bit,” he says, your neck snapping up to him again. he sees your eyebrows pull together and reaches across the table, his hand on your arm rubbing you assuringly.

“what’s that face for?”

“nothing, i just...” you let out a sigh as you look down at your lap, feeling silly and stupid and perhaps dramatic. “you’re the one who wanted to come here and now you’re leaving. i could’ve just stayed at my room.”

“yeah but then i wouldn’t have fed you,” he says, reaching over to peck your nose sweetly. “i’ll pick you up at 7:45, baby.”

you can’t even say anything before he’s up and out the door, a heavy sigh leaving your mouth as you watch him walk to his car. he turns around and waves, a small smile on your face as you wave back and watch him drive away.

you try not to think about it as you get your work done, faintly aware of the growing population in the cafe and the raising altitude of voices. a group of five take the spot next to you and that successfully gets you ready to sprint out the door.

it’s all good sounds, laughter and squeals and chipper voices, but it’s still too much for you. the sounds and the crowds and the overwhelmingly desire to just be in a peaceful quiet by yourself.

that is until a familiar voice, deep and low and calming, brings you out of your panic before it can even start.

“y/n?”

you look up to see a head of dirty blonde hair, seonghwa clad in dark leather and converse as he makes his way over to you.

“oh. hi, seonghwa,” you say, voice quiet and slightly breathless.

his eyes remain on you for a few seconds too long, gaze carefully roaming your  face before he makes his way over to the table. he sees your books and pens splayed out messily, a smirk on his face as he meets your eyes again.

“the semester just started, how do you have all this shit to do already?”

“believe me, i’m wondering the same thing,” you wince, his quiet chuckle causing a smile to light up your face. “what are you doing here?”

“getting a coffee. i slept like shit last night.”

“did wooyoung keep you up?”

“of course he did, the annoying fuck,” he grumbles, his eyes rolling and face pulled in disdain causing you to giggle. “speaking of which, where’s yeosang?”

seonghwa can count on his hands how many times he’s seen you two without each other.

“he left like an hour ago actually,” you say, seeing the time on your phone is 5:00 before your voice turns teasing and you raise your eyebrows playfully.

“he’s getting your party ready.”

seonghwa’s face pulls into on of confusion, your smile dropping as a guilty, sinking feeling builds in your stomach - yeosang didn’t tell you it was a surprise.

“oh no.”

“those annoying fucks, i swear to god,” seonghwa growls lowly, your eyes widening and lips pulling into a frown. “guess i can’t go home tonight.”

“i’m sorry, seonghwa, they didn’t tell me it was a surprise,” you whine quietly, looking up to meet his tight, dark gaze. “they said it was either that or a restaurant sang to you and you went with the party.”

“i told them that one was worse, not that i wanted a party.”

your frown deepens as you sink in your seat, your hands toying nervously on the table. seonghwa’s eyes fall to them and he lets out a sigh, eyes moving to the chair before he plops down in his seat.

a silence hangs between you both, as silent as it could be in a bustling, crowded cafe. you look up to see him watching your hands, quickly pulling them apart and smiling when he meets your gaze.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to spoil it,” you say, “but i don’t think they’re inviting that many people. yeosang usually tells me when parties are gonna be really crowded, so they’ll probably only be like twenty people.”

“yeah, well, that’s eleven too many.”

you press your lips together as you watch him, his neck rolling back and adams apple bobbing.

you can feel the table beside you watch, are sure the whole cafe has been watching since the moment he walked in. you’re not blind to the fact that seonghwa is unbearably attractive, slicked back dirty blonde hair and large stature that draws attention anywhere he goes.

for as long as you’ve known him though, you’ve never seen him bring girls around. or even mention a girl. he always just keeps to himself and his friends - and now you, you suppose, after months of trying and trying.

“i guess this is why they said we’re having a roommate meeting at 8:00.”

you send him a sympathetic smiling, assuring him that it won’t be that bad and you’ll be able to get through it together.

“i sometimes wonder how you’re able to put up with it,” you tell him honestly, thinking back to all the times you’ve watched him and his roommates. “they’re all so crazy and extroverted and.... loud.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he nods his head, rising from the chair and looking down at you.

“years of practice and selective hearing,” he says, a giggle leaving your mouth as you nod your head. you don’t think anything of the way his gaze lingers on you, sending a small smile his way before he speaks again.

“so you’ll be there tonight?”

“yes! yeosang’s picking me up at 7:45 so i should probably get going too,” you say, closing your textbooks and getting your pens together.

“i’ll order my coffee and then walk you back to your dorm.”

“oh no, seonghwa, it’s okay, i-”

but before you can protest any further, he’s turned around and waiting in line to place an order for his coffee. you let out a sigh as you pack up your books, securing it on your shoulder before meeting him at the register.

the cashier is just as mesmerized as she is disappointed when she sees you stand next to him, dropping her flirtier smile for a polite one.

“your order will be right out sir.”

he nods his head as you guys go to the waiting area, standing side by side in silence before you turn to look with a smirk on your face.

“sir?”

“you can walk home in the dark, how ‘bout that?”

a giggle leaves your mouth as you shrug, insisting you didn’t even ask him to walk you home in the first place. he only rolls his eyes before his name is called, grabbing the hot coffee as you follow behind in amusement.

the walk to your dorm is only a few minutes, you and seonghwa walking in a comfortable silence as you walk through the campus. snow from last week’s storm rests on the trees in a picturesque manner, a slight chill in the air that causes you to shiver.

“are you gonna act surprised?”

seonghwa looks over at you as you walk, his arm clumsily bumping into yours as you walk through the slushy, dirty snow - it goes seemingly unnoticed by both of you, arms accidentally grazing for a few seconds before disconnecting as you walk.

he just shrugs and remains quiet, slipping back into the dismissive and intimidating person he once seemed to be. you don’t even think he realizes he comes off like that, just has this look that screams do not look or talk to me.

you stop in front of your dorm a few moments later, turning around tot meet seonghwa who looms over you. he wears a blank, unreadable expression until you smile up at him, thanking him again for walking you and that you’ll see him in a few hours.

“no problem, couldn’t let yeosang’s girl walk alone,” he says, gaze lingering on you for the third time. you've noticed him do this to everyone though, watch and observe to a point where you think he knows things people don’t know about themselves.

“and i’ll act surprised, tonight. won’t let it slip that you ruined my birthday.”

“yeosang didn’t tell me that it was a sur- wait. is today your real birthday?”

his eyebrow quirks up sarcastically, a smile pulling at his lips as he looks at you.

"why would they throw me a birthday party if it wasn’t my birthday?”

an embarrassed flush crosses your cheeks as an awkward giggle bubbles out of your mouth.

“i just thought because it was the weekend or something,” you stutter out, “happy birthday, seonghwa.”

“thanks, y/n,” he smiles, eyes softening every so slightly before he nods his head toward the building. “go in. it’s cold. i’ll see you later.”

“bye,” you say, sending a small wave his way before turning around and disappearing into your dorm building.

if you didn’t know any better, you’d think seonghwa was an award winning actor.  

because when the party of 30 (just ten over what you predicted) screamed “happy birthday seonghwa!” in the pitch darkness, a miscalculation mingi and the light switch, he seemed genuinely surprised.

or, at least, as surprised as his face could express when he turned on the lights.

his eyes were wide and his eyebrow was quirked, a look of disdain throw at his friends who were huddled in the front and clapping excitedly.

“happy birthday hwa!”

“we got you, bitch!”

“wear this happy birthday hat!”

he whacked the red hat right out of jongho’s head, growling at him to not push it in a way that makes you hold back a laugh. he catches your eye and smiles at you, mouthing “good enough?” that has you nodding happily.

the house party picks up almost immediately after seonghwa’s arrival, music blaring and drinking games starting and a loud, pleasant chatter that your boyfriend thrives off of.

guides you around by the small of your back and introduces you to people you’re sure you’ve met before but just don’t recognize you; regardless, you’re polite.

smile at people and say hello before falling into the silence of watching yeosang and stranger after stranger talk. even someone he doesn’t know, like the friend of a friend or significant other of a friend, he talks to like he’s known them forever.

he just connects with people so easily and a part of you is truly envious of it.

“i just don’t get how you do it,” you whine to him on the couch, the same alcoholic beverage in hand (you think yeosang said it’s a rum and coke) that you humored him with when the party started.

“i just talk, baby, what do you mean?” he laughs out, you sitting on his lap as he takes a swig of his beer.

“i know but so easily,” you mumble. “and you don’t see awkward or scared or anything. what if you guys lapse into a silence? or don’t know what to talk about?”

“silence isn’t bad, though, we sit in silence sometimes. and there are always things to talk about.”

like the person walking around with jongho’s array of candles, making the drunk boy run after him and fight off people trying to sniff them.

or the incredibly competitive and entertaining game of flip cup, one side far superior than the other and completely demolishing them.

or like how the birthday boy, the reason why eveyone’s gathered here today and having fun, hasn’t gotten his ass off the couch since he walked through the door.

“i didn’t ask for these people to be here,” seonghwa growls when he hears yeosang talking shit, throwing a dirty look his way as he tosses a pillow at him. “you idiots did that all on your own.”

“and aren’t you happy we did? now you have a bunch of gifts.”

the blank stare seonghwa has shows he could not give less of a fuck about the pile of cards in his room right now, politely thanking the guests who were nice enough to actually bring them and not just their drunken presence.

“we should’ve taken your grouchy ass to a restaurant so they could’ve-”

“yeosang, bro! please come here! we need you!”

the voice belonged to a guy from your class named yeonjun. he had pink hair and was very similiar to your boyfriend, charismatic and friendly in such a gravitating, almost unnatural way.

he also apparently sucked at flip cup.

“it’s not my fault you suck,” he yells from over the couch, loud groans of protest and upset coming from the table.

“c’mon yeosang! please!”

“we need you!”

“leave your hot girlfriend and get over here now!”

yeosang looks to you to see a flustered blush on your cheeks, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth as he pecks one the pink skin.

“can i go, baby?” he mumbles quietly, squeezing your waist every so slightly. “they’re really desperate and need me.”

your lips purse together as you look over your boyfriend, the slight pout and look in his eye causing you to sigh. he knows then that he won, again, the way he usually does these days, and lifts you off his lap.

he presses another kiss to your head before he’s off, loud, happy shouts of excitement causing you to crane your neck back. he does the weird boy hand shake-hug before the game starts up, turning back to see seonghwa sitting across from you on the other couch.

“having fun birthday boy?”

“no,” he answers immediately, dryly, in a way that brings a big smile to your face. “how ‘bout you?”

“it’s okay,” you shrug, curling your legs under you as he rest on the couch more comfortably. “i hope the cake is good.”

“i don’t like cake.”

he’s never seen someone’s eyes widen as much as yours do in that very moment, a small, short chuckle leaving his mouth at your expression.

“what?”

“how do you not like cake?” you squeal.

if there’s one thing you could eat in this world, dietary and nutritional values aside, it would be chocolate cake.

“i just don’t like it, it’s too like sweet and sugary. and if it’s chocolate, that’s even worse.”

the pillow he threw at yeosang flies through the air and hits him back in the face, only your smug, disturbed expression staring back at his shocked one. it would usually make you laugh, the look on his face, but you’re truly just so disturbed - how is there not gonna be cake at a birthday party?

“how could you not like chocolate cake of all the cakes!” you squeal

“did you just throw a pillow at me on my birthday?”

“i mean like carrot cake or fruit cake i get. those are kind of gross and only certain people like them. but chocolate cake? it’s loved by almost every-”

like a game of monkey in the middle, with no monkey, the battered throw pillow flies through the air again and just misses your face; whether he did that on purpose or accidentally is no one’s business.

you and seonghwa stare at one another, eyes narrowed and faces slightly red, completely unaware to the party around you until you’re the one who cracks. put your hand to your mouth and start laughing hysterically.

not a cute giggle or breathy chuckle but a big, hearty, real laugh.

he’s never heard you like this before, probably because he’s only spent a little bit of time with you, but it makes him smile even more. the sound of your laugh and innocent happiness is contagious, his deeply mumbled “stop,” so obviously fake due to the the smile tugging at his lips.

you eventually moved onto the couch beside him, hitting him closer with the pillow before plopping down next to him. talking to him and being next to him made you forget about the party.

not because he was handsome or because you liked him - you loved yeosang and were dating him.

you just enjoyed being able to relate to someone. loved sitting there with someone who didn’t just wanna drink or get high or dance. who was able to be there in silence or talk about nonsense while being surrounded by the chaotic energy of a party.

so much so that you don’t even realize your own boyfriend left you for half the night. not once coming over to check on you or see if you were dong okay until it was time for the cake seonghwa wasn’t even gonna eat.

“i’m sorry, baby, i got caught up with the game,” he mumbled, his arms wound tightly around your waist. you shake your head against his chest, assuring him that it’s okay as he tickles your neck with soft pecks from his lips.

the night ended with yeosang getting so drunk, you had to put him to bed. it wasn’t something you minded, you’ve done this a few times before, but for whatever reason tonight it made something build in the pit of your stomach.

like you already knew tonight something in the future was gonna change because of parties, yeosang’s extroverted ways and seonghwa’s lingering eyes that everyone but you three notice.  

july:

you end the semester with all a’s, an excuse to not return home for the summer and a strained relationship.

it seemed like it happened slowly and then all at once.

there was the time at seonghwa’s party where you thought nothing of it. he was occupied and, luckily, so were you. he left you but went back smiling and affectionate, pressing kisses to your skin and mumbling about how beautiful you looked.

but then it started happening more.

at his sister’s parties where he knew you were uncomfortable.

at frat parties where you were even more uncomfortable.

even at his own house, when the boys had a few people over and they were playing video games while getting high.

it was always seonghwa who kept you company, the two of you in the same room as them but seemingly on a different planet. sitting beside one another observing the party and sharing snide, sneaky comments about others.

how it seemed as if there was some turmoil between mingi and yunho, the way they were ignoring each other and sharing looks back and forth when the other wasn’t looking.

how wooyoung and hongjoong’s frat boys friends didn’t seem to get along in the slightest, the boys always sneering at him when he laughed too loud or teased them too much.

how yeosang was so consumed by the limelight, talking and laughing and making jokes, that he seemed to have forgotten you exist.

“i don’t think he realizes he does it, y/n,” seonghwa assured you one night, the end of the semester coming to a close and allowing you all to relax.

it’d been a hard and stressful first year but there’d also been a lot of fun. a lot of making new relationships that you know will last a lifetime and a lot of things you learned about yourself through all of these experiences.

it’d also been one of the happiest times of your life thanks to yeosang, the boy you fell for so hard and so fast despite all your fears and reservations.

you’re still happy now, even with the bumps. because you think, you hope, that you guys could get through them.

“he’s always been like that. very social and in the middle of a group. people are always drawn to him.”

seonghwa’s not surprised that you were drawn to him. yeosang’s always had something about him that people flock to, men and women alike; but you were the first he’s truly fell for.

reciprocated feelings for and truly cared about their well being and them as a person.

“i don’t think he’s trying to hurt you. that’s just how he is.”

“he’s not hurting me.”

because through all of this, through him ignoring you and neglecting him and seemingly blowing off your feelings because they’re silly and unrelatable to him, you’re trying to convince yourself he’s not.

that you really are just being silly and dramatic about all of this.

that even though you go these outings for him, despite detesting them more than anything, and he keeps leaving you alone, you’re not hurt by it; but seonghwa can see through it.

and whether it’s because you guys are so alike or because he’s so annoyingly observant, you’re not sure. you just know that he looks at you with a soft, sympathetic disbelief that causes the ever growing lump in your throat to grow bigger.

“y/n...”

“he’s really not, seonghwa,” you mumble, words hushly spoken as you watch yeosang carefully; you know if he sees you looking upset, he’s gonna come over.

he’ll stop whatever he’s doing or whatever conversation he’s having and it’s because of that you can’t be upset. because he still loves you and cares for you.

you just have to stop being so dramatic and silly.

when you say that to seonghwa, the very words that come from your boyfriend’s mouth, you watch his face change completely. become harder and harsher as he looks to yeosang, jaw ticking as he pops his neck to the side.

“whatever you say, y/n,” he mumbles. “i just don’t want you guys having problems over this. he loves you, y/n.”

he asked you to stay with him for the summer a few days before classes ended, unsure if you’d be able to but wanting to ask because “my parents are gonna be away for the summer,” he said to you suddenly, both of you laying naked in your dorm.

you craned your neck up to look at him, sweat glistening on his face and chest making him handsome even then.  

“are you scared to be in the house all alone?”

he rolls his eyes playfully, bopping you on the nose lightly before pulling you on top of him. the blankets lay around you messily, your core under his flaccid dick that just ripped several orgasms through you.

“very. i’m gonna be very scared and need you with me. i truthfully might not even survive,” he drones on, resting his hands on your hips as you roll your eyes at him.

you ponder over it as you sit on top of him, biting down on your lip in a way that causes him to tighten his hold and roll your hips over him just a little bit. you ignore him and his horny ways the way you’ve learned to, thinking it all over before realizing it might be good for you guys.

you don’t know if he’s noticed the slight disconnect, it could just be you living in your head all the time, but you think spending time together would be good. would remind you of how you felt with him when you first started dating and he always made sure you were his number one priority.

you want some of that again. you want him to notice when you’re upset or uncomfortable and go out of his way to help you in a crowd, even if it’s just for a moment.

you want to feel like if it came down to you, his friends and the parties or you, that he’d pick you each and every time.

the first few weeks of summer felt as if you were getting that.

you spent a lot of your time longing around his house. playing in his pool and watching movies outside and having sex on nearly every surface, you were surprised to be able to walk.

but all of that quickly stopped when everyone else was home from college.

when his hometown became just one big reunion, people from his high school and neighboring colleges getting together the one way college kids knew - house parties with kegs and loud music.

it seemed as if every few days, you guys were going out.

you and yeosang and all of his friends meeting up with different groups and different houses and having the time of your lives late into the summer nights.

the stuffy houses and sleazy bars definitely weren’t your scene but yeosang, per usual, thrived.

he more often than not would leave you after the first hour, making sure you were with seonghwa or hongjoong or yunho before going off to drink or mingle with his friends.

he’d check on you periodically but it almost seemed as if he felt obligated to.

pressing a kiss to your cheek or holding you by the waist to ask if you needed another drink or wanted to play beer pong; but it was always the same answer every time.

a polite no with a fake smile on your lips that he left with a parting kiss before disappearing back into the crowd.

it was getting old and you knew he was starting to feel the disconnect too, the more hazy summer days that passed, but you both ignored it. because the times at his house were nice, you almost felt normal.

kissing and cuddling and talking as you ate.

but you knew that would all fade away eventually.

when there more were people who weren’t just you or his friends and craved something more exciting than just staying in and hanging out.

talk of a beach bonfire weekend had, admittedly, peaked your interest.

it was different than the stuffy houses or sleazy bars you’ve gotten used to over these past few weeks of summer.

now, you got to go to the beach and rent a nice house right by the ocean. be with yeosang and his friends and the people you got to know in a much more tropical and romantic setting.

you drove up with yeosang, yunho and mingi in the latter boy’s jeep, you and yeosang in the back as wind whipped through your hair. you giggle anytime your hair smacks him in the face, eventually being pulled into his chest to stop the assault from happening on his face.

his heartbeat is calming under your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around your body as him and the two boys in front talk over the plans for the weekend.

you’re blissfully unaware of it as you remain close to his body, warm and sticky in the humid air but not caring.

because even despite your problems and disconnect, you still want him near you. you still find comfort in him and you still want to feel loved by him.

“how does that sound?” you hear yeosang mumble in your ear, his breath tickling your skin causing you to hum against him.

“how does what sound?”

“did you fall asleep?” he asks teasingly, nudging you playfully until your faces are a few inches from each other. “i asked if you wanna go on a date tonight when we get there.”

a happy smile crosses your face as you nod eagerly, one breaking out on his too before he places a soft kiss on your lips.

you’re buzzing with a silent excitement the rest of the ride, your hand is his as you play with his fingers and he smiles at you ever so often. holding hands always felt right between you two, like they were made to fit perfectly and acted as a way to ground you both.

your hands stay intertwined when you get to the house, a giant 8-bedroom mansion on the beach that cost you half of your savings - but the view is making it seem worth it.

the waves crashing just a few feet from the back door and causing everyone to storm out of their cars to fight for the best room.

“i want the balcony, please for the love of god! i will do all the dishes during this trip if you guys let me have it.”

“that’s such bullshit,” hongjoong complains, calling wooyoung out on a deal he knows he definitely won’t abide by; but after much nearly 30 minutes of whining and a written contract stuck to the fridge, it was decided.

wooyoung gets the room with the balcony in exchange for dishes duty, a fair exchange you think given the view.

your and yeosang’s room is the one next to wooyoung, an en-suite and beautiful view of the ocean outside the floor to ceiling windows. your standing there watching the waves crash, bags at your feet and content smile on your face when yeosang wraps his arms around you from behind.

you giggle when he presses his lips to your neck, turning in his hold to immediately meet his for a kiss. it feels like you miss him even though you see him everyday. even though you’ve fallen asleep and woken up next to him for over a month.

“what do you wanna eat tonight?” he mumbles against your lips, pulling back to look at you with a smile on his face and a playful twinge in his eyes. you cock your head to the side as you look up him, shrugging your shoulders because it really doesn’t matter.

you’re just excited for your date.

“i don’t care, i’ll have anything.”

“we’ll find a place then,” he says, pulling you closer to him in a way you already know means something. “you wanna shower before we go?”

“why? do i smell?” you tease, a smirk on his face as he pulls you toward the bathroom wordlessly.

and lucky for both of you, there was a very convenient bench in the shower that had you in there until the mirror was foggy and the water ran cold.

“can you bring us back food?” mingi whined, yeosang rolling his eyes as he caught the boy’s car keys.

“as long as you eat in on plates so wooyoung has to wash the dishes.”

“hey!”

“deal.”

a smile spreads across your face as you wave goodbye to all the boys, wearing a pretty new dress you’ve been wanting to wear for weeks. yeosang takes your hand and interlaces your fingers together, shouts of “bye” and “have fun lovebirds,” echoing through the house.

the restaurant is right on the beach with outdoor seating, twinkle lights lining the space with the quiet chatter of people and gentle crash of waves. you and yeosang are play footsie under the table as you look over the menu, shy smiles and coy narrowed eyes beuing thrown at each other.

it’s been a while since things have felt this natural and easy between you two but you think you both needed it. the casual conversation, the airy chuckles and giggles, the warm feeling in the middle of your chest when you catch him looking at you lovingly.

“you look beautiful, baby. are you excited for this weekend?”

a faint blush covers your cheeks as you look up at him, twirling the spaghetti on your fork as you nod your head.

“yeah. we’re going to the beach tomorrow, right?”

“yeah,” he says, popping a piece of steak into his mouth. “and then we’re gonna meet changbin and them at a bar. his friend’s parents own it so we’ll be able to get in.”

“oh... okay,” you hum after a few seconds, quietly picking at our food and feeling yeosang’s eyes on you.

“what?”

you look up and meet his gaze, the sweet, softness gone and replaced with something you’re not quite able to make out. you feel nerves in the pit of your stomach, taking a deep breath before you plaster a smile on your face.

“nothing. that’ll be fun.”

“you think?” he asks, eyebrow quirked and a happy smile on his face; he was hoping you liked going out and meeting his friends more. he loves showing you off and having you by his side but in the beginning, it always seemed like you didn’t wanna be there.

he’s happy you’re coming around to it now, wanting his girlfriend by his side and having fun with him too.

“yeah,” you lie through your teeth, the smile on your face a complete contrast to your feelings inside.

when did he stop knowing when your smile was fake? or thinking that you actually wanted to go out? couldn’t he see all the time you were pushing yourself to be there for him, just for him to leave you alone?

“i think we’ll have fun,” you lie again, having a terrible feeling that this weekend getaway might be the thing that breaks you and yeosang completely.

because your relationship is already fragile and neither of you are acknowledging it. you just keep kissing and giggling and playing footsie under the table, looking like the perfect couple you truly once were in the beginning.

friday morning it seemed as if maybe things were gonna be okay.

you woke up to yeosang kissing your face, forehead to cheek to cheek to nose until he peppered them down your neck and a tired whine left you. he smiled against your skin, his lowly mumbled ,”good morning, baby,” making your stomach flutter first thing.

the moment was quickly over, open mouthed kisses and his tongue slipping past yours, when wooyoung and mingi bursted through the door, dramatic yelps leaving them as they ran out covering each other’s eyes.

“i cannot believe you kiss him in the morning,” wooyoung said an hour later, all eight of you walking down to the beach.

the cooler was packed and ready, fully prepared for a day in the sun and pregaming for the bar later tonight.

“why?” you ask, a smile pulling at your lips at the look of disgust on his face.

“multiple reasons but his breath being the first! isn’t it disgusting? there’s no way he doesn’t wake up with rank breath, y/n, i just don’t believe it.”

an arm wraps around your waist from behind, your boyfriend’s hand craning your face back so he can peck another long, lingering kiss on your mouth; wooyoung’s gags in the back cause you to smile against him.

“you better be careful talking about rank breath,” yeosang says when he pulls away, eyes right on wooyoung who’s wearing a look of shock and hurt.

“i don’t have bad breath.”

“i can smell you right now. did you even bring a toothbrush?”

“he actually didn’t,” jongho quips, wooyoung’s head snapping toward his as you and yeosang suppress your laughter - one of you better than the other.

“it’s all he kept talking about in the car. sick fuck even asked to use to mine but that is just too-”

“oh wow, look at the waves! c’mon, y/n, you said you wanted to play in them!”

wooyoung grabs your hand before you’re able to say anything, giggling as he drags you down the hot sand. you throw down your bag and look back at yeosang with a smile, his hand waving you off as he picks up your belongings.

mingi and san join you both a few minutes later, the water making your feet numb in the wet sand.

you don’t know how long it takes all four of you to fully immerse yourself in the water - at least thirty minutes if you had to guess. but once you got in, you guys didn’t wanna get out.

the waves were harsh and crashed down on you viscously but that was part of the fun. diving into the water and letting the salt water soak up into your skin and hair. it was even better that there was no gross seaweed, the four of you attempting to play toothpaste despite the major difficulty.

but with how much time past, pruny fingers and soaked hair, you didn’t expect the others to already be shit-faced. it was barely noon and you could tell immediately that yeosang, hongjoong and jongho were well on there way to getting obliterated tonight.

you have sinking suspicions it’s because changbin and his friends are also here; and when their two friend groups are together, nothing could comes of it.

they’re all fun and sweet and care for one another but they also build off of each other - enable each other’s young, college drinking habits and rowdy behavior.

“b-baby, c’mere,” yeosang slurs when he sees you, wrapping you up in a towel and pulling you on his lap.

you land on his lap with a plop, smiling and saying hello to the others. you can smell the alcohol on yeosang’s breath but he’s always in good spirits. always laughing and smiling and making jokes that, usually, his drinking isn’t a problem.

it’s not something you particularly enjoy or can relate to but he’s never been a  mean drunk.

not until today.

“you look really good today, you know that?” he mumbles lowly in your ear, the new, red bikini you brought clinging to your body in all the right ways. you were slightly embarrassed to wear it today but decided to go for it because you thought you looked nice in it and spent $70 on it.

you looked up at him with an embarrassed flush on your cheeks, elbowing him lightly as he wraps his arms around your waist. his fingers toy with the edge of your bikini under the towel, your eyes widening when you feel what he’s trying to do.

“yeosang,” you whisper harshly, keeping your voice low but firm as you smack his hand over the towel.

“what,” he whines lowly, eyes roaming the area to see everyone either going to the water or chatting amongst themselves. “you’re covered, baby. i wouldn’t let anyone see what’s mine.”

“are you crazy,” you whisper as you peek your face up at him. “we’re already drinking underage on the beach yeosang. you can’t finger me in public either.”

“who said i was gonna finger you?” he mumbles, a smirk on his face and teasing in his voice; but you don’t find this funny. you don’t find him being this drunk and touchy at noon is funny. “you’re getting ahead of yourself now, baby.”

“why are you getting this drunk at noon, yeosang? we’re going out tonight too, unfortunately.”

“unfortunately?” he asks, craning his neck down to look at you. “i thought you were excited.”

“i was so excited for the beach,” you tell him quietly. “i thought you would come in the ocean with us.”

because you wanted to spend that time with him. have the jeuvnile fun you used to have when you’d go on drives to the beach at night and freeze your asses off on the sand.

“you looked like you were having enough fun with wooyoung and san,” he mumbles, something darker and sarcastic in his voice that makes you turn in his lap and look at him.

his eyes are glassy and teasing but not in the light hearted way. they look almost vengeful, like he’s jealous or feeling left out the same way you’ve been; but you’re always sitting there, at parties or at bars or in your room, waiting for him.

how doesn’t he see that?”

“that’s because you’ve been with everyone else. you’re always with everyone else and you leave me behind.”

“what are you even talking about?” he sneers, keeping his voice low but full of bite. “you come everywhere with me like my damn shadow, y/n. how do i leave you behind? i couldn’t if i tried.”

his words make you physically recoil, his lap now longer feeling comfortable and inviting but cold. the hurt is evident on your face and in your heart and he’s just looking at you like he’s ready to have a full on argument, his eyebrow raised and glossy eyes wide.

like he’s waiting for you to say something just so he can respond and hurt you.

there’s a long, lingering silence between you two, the laughter of others surrounding you despite the way tears are burning your eyes. a screech of your name pulls you away, looking at san and mingi where the shorter boy is holding his foot above the sand.

“can you come back with us? i cut my foot.”

some silly part of you expects yeosang to tell them to leave you alone. that you spent your time with them and now it’s his turn to be with you. but he doesn’t say a word, just bounces his knee as if to tell you to get off and it feels as if your heart drops into your stomach.

you swallow the growing lump in your throat, throwing the towel back on yeosang and rising toyour feet to help san.

“sure,” you tell the boy quietly, not looking back at yeosang once as you make your way up to the house.

you clean san’s foot on the counter in the kitchen, getting off all the dirt and dust with an alcohol pad as he whines in pain.

“it’s not that bad,” you mumble, mingi nodding in agreement as san narrows his eyes at both of you.

you’re strangely quiet, more quiet than usual, and mingi can’t help but notice the sad look on your face; you’d been so happy in the water and when you first got to the beach.

“did you and yeosang fight?”

you look up at mingi to see his eyes on you, soft and sweet and looking over you gently. it makes the weepy, emotional part in you wanna cry but you refuse, letting the dramatic tears burn your eyes at you shake your head.

“are you sure? you look sad.”

“no, i’m okay, i’m just tired,” you say, sending a small smile his way that is obviously fake. “the water and sun always tire me out.”

san and mingi accept your answer as you finish covering san’s food, slapping a band-aid on his heel and smiling (the smallest hint of a real smile) as he kisses your cheek in thanks.

you watch outside the window as yeosang sits in his chair, all the boys in a circle with their cups full of beer and throwing their heads back in laughter. you can hear their banter and harsh words through the open glass, not a single part of you wanting to go back out there.

you’d much rather sit in the bath or take a nap, rid yourself of the image of yeosang’s harsh words and annoyed eyes.  

“y/n?” san says, your eyes snapping to his concerned face - how long had he been calling you?

“c’mon, we’re going back,” he says, extending his arm down to you. “we used to play this olympic game when we were kids and we wanna try again.”

a smile pulls at your lips at his statement, picturing all of them as crazy kids running up and down the beach playfully. but now you don’t wanna go back out there, especially since you have to go out later with them.

“i kind of wanna take a nap before we go out tonight,” you tell the boys, looks of horror crossing their faces.

“what? we’re not going out till 7. it’s only 1:30, y/n.”

“i know but i’m gonna take a bath, too. the tub is really big.”

the dejected frowns on mingi and san almost make you crack but they eventually let it go, insisting that if you can’t fall asleep to come back out so you can all go back in the ocean.

you watch them walk back to the group from the door, eyes lingering over yeosang who’s smiling and laughing with his big group of friends. he always looks most comfortable like that, in a big group of people where everyone looks to him and laughs, giving him the attention he used to look for from you.

but things change apparently. you don’t know how or when or why neither of you have acknowledged it but it’s obvious that somewhere along the line, things had changed.

“where’s y/n?” seonghwa’s voice asked, pulling yeosang from his discussion as he sees mingi and san walking back to the group.

“she said she’s tired,” san answers with a frown, a scoff leaving yeosang that has the dirty blonde side eyeing him. “she might come back down after she takes a nap.”

“she won’t,” yeosang says, taking a sip from his beer before throwing the glass bottle into the garbage bag; san and mingi side eye each other, catching the dark look that seonghwa throws the boy’s way.

“can someone get me another one?”

you woke to the sound of yeosang shuffling around in his bag, eyes fluttering open to see a towel wrapped around his waist. your eyes roamed over is body, a flat, toned stomach and muscular arms that now had a red su burn on them.

“did you put on sunscreen?”

he jumped slightly despite your quiet tone, meeting your tired gaze and bedridden hair as he nods his head. he places a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on the bed, undressing in front of you as you keep your gaze on him.

“did you sleep well?”

you can’t read his expression or tone at all right now and it unsettles you greatly; so you only nod, sitting up and stretching your arms up and over your head.

“are you coming out with us?”

your eyes narrow and that same sad feling plummets in your stomach again. how it feels like your heart’s falling down further and further.

“um... why wouldn’t i?”

“because it doesn’t seem like you want to.”

“then should i just sit here by myself?”

silence fills the room as you both just stare at each other blankly, the hurt behind your eyes and the annoyance behind his far too palpable. you wonder if he’s gonna say anything in response or just leave the out the bedroom door, quirking an eyebrow up in the quietness.

“we’re leaving in 30,” is all he says, voice still short and eyes still tight as he turns around and leaves. mingi and san sneak through the door, most definitely eavesdropping, as they run over and plop on your bed.

“you didn’t come back.”

“you guys definitely fought.”

you let out a sigh as you look to mingi, an apologetic smile on his face as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. his hand moves to your hair, lacing his fingers through it before a knot stops him.

“i was sleeping, okay,” you grumble, a deep laugh leaving him as he pulls you up and off the bed.

“we’re leaving soon so get ready. we’re just gonna dance and have fun. i promise.”

and so similiar to the beach outing, the first few hours were fun.

the music was good, it wasn’t too crowded and you even didn’t mind the taste of your strawberry daiquiri. you danced with san, mingi and wooyoung until your feet were killing and your throat felt parched.

you went up to the bar for a water, needing to yell your order over the voices of people as you realize just how crowded it got. your eyes scan the bar for yeosang, seeing him in the corner where the big group resides.

your eyes meet form across the room, a small smile on your face as you wave to him.

you know he sees you, you know you two definitely make eye contact and that he could tell it was you, but he doesn’t acknowledge you in the slightest. only hyunjin and jisung do, yelping your name from across the bar and ushering you over eagerly.

you hesitantly make your way over, a polite smile on your face. there’s a few people you don’t recognize but there’s a lot of people you do, trying to keep that in mind as you approach the table closer and say hi to everyone.

“y/n! where have you been?”

“dancing with san and mingi,” you tell them. “wooyoung, too, but we kept losing him.”

“he’s too friendly for his own good,” jisung says, his eyes roaming you and yeosang before back to you. “where are they now?”

“not sure, maybe outside.”

“cool. stay with us for a bit.”

you’re hesitant but find yourself nodding anyway, your arm grazing yeosang who’s standing next to you. you look to him and he’s talking to a few guys across the table, hyunjin calling your name twice before you notice.

the whole time you’re talking to them, you can’t help but notice how yeosang seems to be avoiding you. giving you the cold shoulder like you’re a random stranger in a bar and not his girlfriend.

and the longer it goes on, the worse you feel. trying to carry on the conversation but becoming more and more aware of yeosang’s distance; and you’re not the only one who’s noticed.

“yo, yeosang,” jisung says, the black-haired boy snapping his head toward the boy. he nods his head toward you, your neck craning toward yeosang and face dropping when the boy begins to speak again.

“is there any reason you’re ignoring your girlfriend?” he asks, humor in his tone.

“what do you mean?” the boy asks, his eyes moving to yours, the same unreadable expression in them.

“you haven’t looked at her once. are you guys even still dating?”

“surprisingly,” the drunken man quips sarcastically.

your face drops and it’s like he knows it, looking at you with a roll of his eyes.

“i was kidding, y/n,” he huffs, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him. he reeks of alcohol and cologne, keeping you under his arm before continuing his conversation.

the entire time, it’s like you’re not even there. he doesn’t once acknowledge you or try to include you in the conversation. just keeps you there as if your his shadow, something he’s not even aware ad that he doesn’t pay any mind to.

you thought you’ve been dramatic over these past few months. maybe being too sensitive or too emotional or maybe even asking too much from him. but it’s like he doesn’t even want you here.

he hasn’t looked your way once and neither of you acknowledged the way you snapped at each other before. your communication has gone down the toilet, all of your feelings brewing while his seem to be nonexistent.

you move out from under his arm, no one, not even him, noticing when you mumble that you’re going to the bathroom.

tears burn your eyes the entire time, feeling stupid and left out and annoying, like you have no place here and just have to be attached to someone who doesn’t want you or yeosang’s friends.

you grip the sink and take a few calming breaths, looking up at the mirror when you hear the door open.

a drunken girl comes in and smiles upon seeing you, her face immediately dropping before she makes her way over to you.

“oh no, what’s wrong?” she asks with a frown on her face, her eyes roaming yours carefully as her hands grip your arms comfortingly. “you look like you’re about to cry.”

you almost laugh at the fact that this random stranger is the one noticing that you’re upset when you were just beside your boyfriend. you only shake your head and promise her that you’re okay, a pathetic excuse of a smile plastered on your face.

but the same way a person breaks down when someone asks if they’re okay, you do when you try to assure her that you are. that you and your boyfriend are in a great place and you feel completely happy here with him.

“just... stupid stuff with my boyfriend,” you eventually mutter out, a small tear escaping your eye that causes her frown to deepen. “i feel silly and dramatic but i don’t know.. i feel like he’s been ignoring me. we’ve been so weird these past few months and it doesn’t seem like he even loves me anymore.”

“leave his ass, are you crazy,” she asks without hesitation, wiping at your tears with a sympathetic smile on her face. “you’re beautiful and he’s not worth crying over. no boy is. because that what he is. a boy. a stupid boy, in fact.”

a wet, strangled giggle leaves your mouth despite the tears streaming down your face, watching as she takes a paper towel and dabs at your face.

“you’re gonna mess up your makeup so no more crying!” she says happily, bouncing up and down with her legs crossed. “leave his ass and have fun, sweet girl! i’m about to pee my pants now.”

another giggle leaves your mouth as you thank her sweetly, wiping at your face and smiling when she lets out a heavy sigh of relief. you take a deep breath, trying to take her words to heart but far too aware of the upset in your stomach.

how leaving him seems like the most painful thing ever. how you don’t even wanna do that because you guys haven’t talked about anything yet. all these problems could be in your own head for all you know, you two haven’t had any sort of discussion.

but it doesn’t help that he doesn’t even seem receptive.

he has been ignoring you and making you feel left out. he brings you along just to leave you when he knows you’re only coming for him; even on the nights you guys stay in, it’s obvious he wants to be out partying.

why can’t it be more fair? are you asking for too much or is he just being inconsiderate?

you walk out of the bathroom to se the corner of bar empty, only jisung and hyujin lingering. the taller boy meets your gaze and the two make their way over, letting you know that they went to the bar outside.

“oh... okay, thanks for letting me know,” you thank softly, a small smile lighting up your face.

they both wear their own sympathetic smile, hyunjin shaking his head at jisung when they make eye contact. there’s a few moments of an awkward silence, you looking between them both before jisung opens his mouth to speak again.

“yeosang was saying some fucked up shit, y/n. i just wanted you to know.”

“han...”

“no, hyunjin, they’ve been together for a long time and he knows her best. that wasn’t cool.”

your stomach plummets at the words leaving the boy, the tears you just got rid of burning the back of your eyes again.

“what... what did he say?”

“it wasn’t anything that bad, we were just shocked. you guys usually seemed so happy and in love and it was just-”

“he said it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you guys broke up. and that if you wanted to, he wouldn’t be too opposed.”

the look on your face must give it all away, tears filling your eyes as you feel yourself ready to bolt. you will not be the girl who cries publicly in a bar, looking like a hot, red-faced mess because your boyfriend decided to be an asshole.

“he’s shit faced, y/n,” hyunjin says immediately, his stomach turning at your tears; he hates when people cry, especially girls. “he only said it because he thinks that’s where you guys are headed. said you guys have felt very disconnected since school ended.”

and while it helps to hear that you haven’t been the only one feeling that way, it still hurts you.

because it doesn’t seem like he wants to fight for you and he hasn’t said anything to you. he’s just ignoring you, making you feel worse and worse with the occasional kiss or whispered sweet nothing.

you think the worst part is that, eve if you guys did break up, he wouldn’t be sad about it. he’d just move on without any qualms and think of you as the girl he dated during his freshmen year of college.

but he was much more to you than that.

he was your first love. the first boy you allowed in and let yourself trust. gave yourself to in the most intimiate way and found solace in him despite your differences.

those differences seem to be your downfall right now - with one similarity that, apparently, both of you suck at communication.

you don’t even realize you’re turning around and leaving the bar until you hear your name being called behind you, walking out in the warm night air and heading toward the beach.

you just keep walking and walking and walking, until there’s nothing but silence and the waves crashing around you.

he knows he shouldn’t care this much.

he knows that it’s not his place and that the boy next to him should be the one worrying and concerned about where you are.

but yeosang doesn’t seem to care at all, switching from beers to shots in a decision seonghwa made hours ago to stay away from.

he can’t stop his eyes from moving to the door ever so often, waiting for your hair or smiling face to walk through and flood him with some relief; but when he sees mingi, san, and wooyoung come in without you, he’s not sure he can hold off any longer.

“yeosang,” seonghwa says, voice deep with his usual bite. “where’s y/n?”

“i don’t know,” he slurs out, not even bothering to look around or observe the crowd. “probably with mingi or san.”

“no, they’re out here, too.”

“i don’t know hwa, why do you care?” he growls in annoyance, downing another shot to dull out the sound your name and all the concerns he has. coming to terms with the fact that you guys are changing and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“because she’s missing, yeosang. no one has seen her or is with her.”

he’s getting more and more irritated at his friends attitude, the way it seems like he couldn’t give less of a shit about where his girlfriend is. especially when he knows you get uncomfortable in this setting.

“i’m her boyfriend, hwa, and i know she’s fine. so fucking drop it. she’s around here somewhere.”

but that answer doesn’t quell the worry in seonghwa, the dirty blonde rolling his eyes at the endless horror stories plaguing his mind. they’re underage at a crowded bar with sleazy drunks and cops lurking - there are far too many things that could go wrong.

“then act like it, dickhead.”

yeosang just rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the group and dismissing seonghwa and the conversation completely. he doesn’t know how they can talk about his girlfriend missing to something as mundane as video games, seonghwa getting up with a huff and walking back into the bar.

he checks around the whole bar twice, nearing 1 a.m so the building is at its maximum capacity. but even then, he checks everywhere and doesn’t see you; he even asks girls waiting on line to the bathroom to see if you’re in there, unaware of the dreamy look in their eyes as they nod and hang on to every word he says.

“no one named y/n was in there,” they said a few moments later, an apologetic look on her face before she smiled flirtily. “did you lose your girlfriend?”

he rolls his eyes and thanks them politely, not giving her the time to give him some cheesy pick up line before he’s outside.

it’s warm with such a slight breeze coming off the ocean, looking up and down the block before the beach catches his eye. there’s a few people walking in the distance and he thinks it’s worth a shot, walking away from the bar and going down to the cold, grainy sand.

he’s walking for twenty minutes, about to turn around as he wonders why the hell he’s even looking for you, when he hears soft cries.

he can barely hear them over the sound of the waves but he definitely hears them, squinting his eyes in the distance to see a figure hunched over with their face in their hands.

he can tell you it’s you when he’s a few feet away, the way your hair’s falling and dress is riding up your legs. he swallows thickly, relief flooding through him as he looks over your figure quietly.

he could tell you and yeosang were having problems, could tell you’ve been having them for a few months by how often you and him would hang out at parties, but it seemed as if they were getting worse these days.

he saw it on the beach this morning, the way you went from smiling and laughing to disappearing inside the house. it bothered him then but he knew he shouldn’t butt in, waiting until you guys figured it out or handled things on your own.

but now he can’t just sit back anymore.

he’s seeing changes in his younger friend that he doesn’t enjoy; his drinking, his attitude, the way he’s treating you 90% of the time. and tonight had been the last straw for him, his blatant disconcern for you and your wellbeing completely rubbing him the wrong way.

he continues to approach you quietly, the sound of his footsteps in the sand causing you to look up.

the faint glow from the streetlights and moon cast light on him, calming you immediately as you look up at him. you feel the wet tears on your face but could care less at the moment, sending him a small broken smile that makes you feel pathetic.

seonghwa is similiar to mingi and san in the aspect that he’s able to tell something’s off between you and yeosang. not because he’s nosy (in the most concerned way) like the two younger boys but because he sees it.

watches you at parties and is usually the person sitting beside you on the couch while yeosang’s off doing whatever.

he moves slow and cautious, sitting down on the sand next to you silently. you can feel the heat radiating off his arm, not quite touching you but just a few inches away.

you’re no longer crying but tears are still on your face, leaving you wet and sticky and most definitely tear-stained.

“i don’t know what i did, seonghwa.”

the dirty blonde looks your way when you finally break the silence between you two, seeing your tooth in your lip and eyes strained on the dark, starry sky.

“we’ve been so weird ever since the semester ended and it’s only getting worse. i- i know that’s just how he is but he was like that in the beginning too but he would never ignore me. i don’t know what i did or why he started but it feels like we’re on our way to breaking-”

you can’t even say the words because it’s not something you’re ready to do. you still love him and there’s still hints of you guys as a happy couple, the way he holds you and kisses you and looks at you sometimes.

but the bad is outweighing the god these days and it’s hurting you. hurting you to the point that you’re here, crying on the beach to his best friend who you don’t even realize looks at you a little too long and a little too soft.

and he doesn’t even know what to say to you this moment. because he sees his friend is changing and he sees it’s effecting you; it makes him wanna go back to the bar and punch yeosang in the face, tell him to wake up before someone snatches you away and treats you the way you deserve.

“am i the one being stupid, seonghwa?” you ask again, turning to look at the boy beside you. “do i just have to like... get over it and try for him? try to enjoy all of this and be okay with mingling on my own?”

“you go out with us all the tie, y/n, how are you not trying?”

it’s the softest you’ve ever heard seonghwa’s voice, something about it bringing more tears to your eyes because it’s so obvious that you’re a mess.

“i must not be if he’s being like this. it’s like he doesn’t even know me and he just wants me to leave him alone. he- he even told jisung it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if we broke up, so why am i even crying?”

seonghwa feels rage bubble up in his chest at the thought of yeosang saying that, cracking his knuckles one by one until he’s facing you again. he doesn’t get how he can’t see what he’s doing to you or how he doesn’t care.

“he’s been different these past few months, i’ve seen it too, y/n, so it’s not you,” he assures gently, waning to reach out and touch your hand form comfort. “he’s just... i don’t know what the fuck he’s doing but he shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

you let out a sigh as you hide your face in your knees, tears leaking from your eyes again as quiet sobs leave you.

you feel seonghwa’s hand on your back a few seconds later, moving up and down slowly as you fall into him. you both just sit there on the sand, you crying and him silently comforting you as you try to make sense of this mess.

because even right now, with you gone and not saying a word, he doesn’t care. he’s not calling or texting or going to look for you. he just don’t seem to care at all.

“please don’t cry, y/n,” he mumbles quietly, his thumb moving up and down your skin gently.

but his words don’t help in the slightest. you just muffle your cries until you can’t anymore, peeking your head up as you wipe the wetness off your face.

“i’m sorry,” you mutter, feeling embarrassed to have just cried your eyes out for god knows how long; but seonghwa doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest, shrugging his shoulders with a small smile on his lips.

“you don’t have to apologize,” he reassures gently, sending a small smile his way.

you watch his eyes roam your face, dark eyes piercing yours in a way that you once found so intimidating. but you’ve gotten to know him so well and know how sweet he is.

how much he looks out for his people and that he’d really do anything for anyone.

“what?” you ask, feeling self conscious and seen. “are there tears on my face?”

“just a few,” he teases, reaching across to dab at the reamining wetness. you smile softly as he tocuhes your skin, watching him so gently reach over your face.

his warm fingers linger on you for a little too long but you don’t even notice, thanking him softly when he pulls back.

you lean back and are reminded of your first date with yeosang, on the sand that feels familiar and the sky with a bright crescent moon similiar to the one around your neck.

it pulls at something in your heart, how maybe you guys will never be like that again. how the honeymoon phase is just something that isn’t meant to to last htat long maybe.

it’s just a fleeting moment that you’ll remember in times like this, when it feels like you guys are about to fall apart.

tears prick your eyes again, a sigh leaving your mouth as you silently beg yourself not to cry again before seonghwa’s on his feet and reaching his hand down, like he knew you were about to blow.

you look at it with confusion, looking from his hand to his eyes looking down at you expectantly.

“come with me.”

“where are we going?” you ask, taking his hand hesitantly. he pulls you to your feet with ease, keeping you hands intertwined as he turns around and pulls you up the beach silently.

“seonghwa,” you whine, your bare foot tripping over the lumpy sand. he just grips your hand tighter every time you stumble, a quiet chuckle leaving his mouth that makes you narrow your eyes at him.

“you’ll see,” he says, eyeing you back just as sternly. “i past it on my way to find you.”

a dimly lit playground with swings and small, slightly janky jungle gym comes into your view, a smile lighting up your face as you turn to look at seonghwa.

“i don’t know how i missed this,” you tell him, knowing for sure you hd to have passed it on your way to the beach.

“you were too busy crying,” he teases lightly, a snort leaving your mouth as you push him gently. he narrows his eyes and pushes you back playfully, watching as you take off in the sand and plop down on a swing.

he smiles as you wave him over, moving the swing and pumping your legs as you hold your arms out to him. he walks over, leaning his head against the chain of the swing next to you watching you sit there and smile up at him.

“push me,” you ask sweetly, his eyes narrowing slightly. “please,” you add, wide glassy eyes and a sweet smile that renders him unable to resist. his warm hands rest on your back as he pushes you higher and higher, your eyes looking out into the ocean and sky as memories wrack your brain.

“when... when did you get that?!” you yelp, moving closer to his larger, warmer body to get a good look at it. “i didn’t even see you pick it up!”

“i was sneaky, right?” he teases with a wink, guiding you by the waist to sit down before placing the basket between you.

you barely notice the harsh gust of wind because of your excitement and surprise, yeosang’s hands draping a blanket around your shoulders before you can even shiver.

“i even packed the food. i didn’t really know how to be sneaky for that so it was pure luck that you went to the bathroom.”

and low and behold, when he opens up the white, woven basket, all the food you got was packed in perfectly. plates and utensils were strapped to the top with two small cups next to the array of fruits, cookies, and several ingredients for sandwiches.

you both happened to like cheese ones, your hands grazing and soft giggles leaving when you both reached for it in the frozen section.

“i... i can’t believe you did this,” you mumble quietly, feeling far more touched and happy than you’re willing to let on. “this is so cute. thank you, yeosang.

you shake your head from the memories, looking back to see seonghwa still pushing you with a content smile on his face. you stretch you legs to reach the ground, slowing down until you jump off.

you topple on the sand a little bit, seonghwa calling your name with a chuckle and watching as you steady yourself out. you turn to him with a smile, looking up at him in a way that causes his heart to jump in his chest.

he knows he has to ignore though. because problems or not, broken up or not, you’re still his best friend’s girlfriend.

but it doesn’t stop him from frolicking in the sand with you. following you as the playful spirit comes out from zipping down the slide or climbing on top of the monkey bars.

he grabs your leg that hangs off from the monkey bars, your whiney “seonghwa!” echoing through the quiet night air. his laugh causes a smile to light up your face, the two of you in the playground until your body is weak and you’re laid out on the sand.

seonghwa checks his phone to see it’s almost 3:00, wondering aloud if their friends are back from the bar.

and that’s the reality check you need. remembering that your boyfriend’s ignoring you, you don’t know he you did and his best friend is the one here - comforting you, making you laugh and keeping your mind off all the things that are making you sad in the first place.

it’s a very sobering thought that makes your smile fall off your face, jumping up from your spot in the sand as you look at seonghwa.

“i... we should get back then,” you hear yourself say. “i didn’t realize it was that late.”

it’s the reality check seonghwa needed to, that he shouldn’t be the one making you laugh and smile while your heart and mind are still plagued by yeosang. so he nods his head, rising to his feet and looking down at you for a few seconds.

you feel a lump form in your throat at the look he gives you, butterflies threatening to erupt in your stomach as his eyes roam every inch of your face. eyes to your hair to your nose to your lips, his tongue peeking out before he nods his head down toward the beach.

"lets go, then,” he says, ignoring the slightly dejected feeling in his stomach he knows he shouldn’t have. “they might be back by now.”

you guys walk back to the house in silence, arms bumping ever so often in a way that both of you try to ignore. because even if this felt right, even if your time with seonghwa always feels so right and easy, it feels right with yeosang too.

and it’s not like you can just have them both.

gong home to an empty house was incredibly sobering.

your bed was cold, the house was quiet and you had to muffle stupid, disappointed cries into your pillow until you fell asleep.

but there was someone else sitting in the living room, waiting for the moment his friends come back so he can tear his one drunken asshole of a friend a new asshole.

and that’s exactly what he did when he heard the front door open, wooyoung and san’s loud “heeellloo!” echoing through the house causing his head to snap toward the door.

the boys shuffle in, saying their hi’s to seonghwa as they filter in the kitchen and start to raid the cabinets for food. yeosang’s the last to get through the door, his stumbling to a minimum and glassy eyes observing the house carefully.

seonghwa feels his jaw clench, the two boys meeting eyes as the black-haired boy approaches him quickly.

“did you find her?”

“how’d you know i went looking?”

“do you think i’m a fucking idiot?”

seonghwa clenches his jaw again, cracking his tension-filled neck as he looks at his friend. the boys hold a dark, intense eye contact that goes ignored by the rest of the boys - too consumed by their need for food, drunken ramblings, and wooyoung crying about keeping the dishes to a minimum so he doesn’t have to wash them hungover tomorrow.

“she was on the beach crying,” seonghwa eventually bites back, looking at his friend with every hint of disdain and anger. “heard that you said it wouldn’t even matter if you guys broke up or not.”

“that fucking jisung,” yeosang grumbles, seonghwa rolling his eyes and getting up from the couch. he feels yeosang falling behind him, half tempted to tell him to piss off before they’re both just outside the dirty blonde’s room.

“what are you so mad about? she’s my girlfriend, yeosang.”

“and you’re treating her like shit, yeosang. you have been for months. leaving her all the time, barely spending time with her, do you even notice how much she fucking hates going to those?”

“but she still does?” yeosang says, face pulled into confuson and irritaiton - he doesn’t like the way he’s feeling attacked and defesnive. “i never force her to go.”

“obviously she’s gonna go for you,” seonghwa growls, confused as to how his friend is so stupid and blind about this. “because she loves you, yeosang.”

“i love her, too,” he says, “she knows how much i love her.”

the look soenghwa gives him cause his eyes to narrow, anger spiking in him as he pushes his frined back. seognhwa’s eyes flare and he has to hold himself back, knowing that he’s already not in a spot to fight over you.

“and if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you loved her too. running to her rescue right away and nearly ripping my head off before.”

seonghwa doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything, the silence doing more than words could at this point. and even drunk, yeosang knows what it means. can see in seonghwa’s face and body language that he has nothing to say because, yeah, he might love her, too.

“bullshit,” yeosang blurts out, a look of shock and horror on his face. seonghwa only shrugs his shoulders, attempting to walk away from yeosang before he pulls his friend back roughly.

“are you kidding me? y/n? out of every woman in this world?”

“i don’t know, yeosang, okay. it just fucking happened. i wasn’t ever gonna say anything to either of you.”

“wow, how noble of you. but you run off to save her when we get ino a fight.”

“because you were being a dick and she was upset,” seonghwa growls back, balling his fists in a similiar fashion to yeosang. “but i didn’t say anytihng to her. i just called you an asshole and said you were changing. not that she should leave you for me, although i’ve been tempted to steal her from you.”

a laugh of disbelief leaves yeosang, his head shaking as he looks over his friend.

“you’ve got fucking balls.”

and if it were anyone else saying this to him, they’d be beaten to a bloody pulp. but yeosang knows seonghwa would never make a move on you, actively try to steal you and get you away from him even if he wanted to.

he even had sinking suspicos that he had feelings for you, catching the way he’d look at you or his gaze would linger for just a little too lnog.

but he trusts his friend and he trusts you.

he was just the idiot now, acting as if you ddin’t mean the world to him and he doesn’t love you more than anyone else in this world.

“i’m gonna go apologize to her,” yeosang says, his gaze meeting seonghwa and making the dirty blonde nod his head. “thanks for taking care of her.”

the dirty blonde only nods his head, dread pooling in the pit of his stomach as he watches him walk out the room and go to you.

yeosang walks in to se your sleeping form on the bed, creeping over to his bag and cringing at the sound of his zipper in the quiet room.

you wake to the sound of shuffling toward the door, eyes peeking open to see yeosang with his shirt off and slipping on pajama pants. he makes his way over to the bed, your eyes closing quickly as you attempt to keep your breaths even.

you think his soft chuckle is a sign that you’ve gotten caught, keeping up the act as the bed dips and he’s sitting beside you, running his fingers through your hair gently.

“i’m sorry, baby, i’m so sorry,” he hums quietly, keeping his eyes on you as a knot forms in his throat.

he hadn’t reaalized how much he’d been neglected you this summer.

how often he was leaving you and just being assured by the fact that you always had someone with you - mingi, san, wooyoung, even seonghwa, although that proved to be slightly dangerous now.

“i know you’re mad, love, but i’ll be better. i was shit faced when i said that to jisung and hyunjin.”

your eyes peak open, seeing his soft, apologetic eyes that makes a frown appear on his lips. your hand reaches up to touch his face, his skin smooth and slight sticky from the humid summer air.

“are you shit faced now? will you even remember this tomorrow?” you ask quietly, still hurt by his words and the way he acted.

he takes your hand from his ace and presses a kiss to each knuckle, shaking his head as he crawls into bed next to you.

“no,” he mumbles, positing himself close to your warm body. “i stopped drinking when no one could find you. your girlfriend going missing tends to sober a guy up.”

a small snort leaves your mouth as you shake your head, meeting his gaze with tired eyes.

“i wasn’t missing, i was on the beach.”

“with seonghwa.”

you bite down on your lip as you nod your head, eyes roaming him carefully. you don’t quite know what to make of his tone or face, choosing to just nod your head in confirmation.

they had to have talked anyway - how else would he have known jisung told you what he said?

“i’m glad he was there for you when i wasn’t,” he mumbles quietly, a sad truth that he has to come to terms with despite knowing seonghwa’s feelings now.

“it’s okay, you’re here now,” you mumble, moving your body closer to his. he smiles against your head, wrapping his arm around you as he presses a kiss to your head.

but you can’t quite shake the feeling of seonghwa being there for you either.

the way he looked at you so sweetly and made you feel better with just his presence. his hold on you strong and gaze so soft, you can’t help but wonder if, somehow, you’ve also somehow fallen for yeosang’s best friend.

november - sophomore year

if someone told you over the summer that in four months, you’d be living with seonghwa and yeosang, you would’ve called them crazy. asked how the hell that arrangement came to be because why would a single man choose to live with a couple in the first place?

but really, the arrangement stemmed from all of you just having terrible luck.

you had started sophomore year on a terrible foot, not securing a single room this semester and getting a roommate you knew from the moment you met was gonna be a nightmare.

she was not only incredibly rude but messy. 

her clothes littered every inch of the floor by the second week of class and her boyfriend would come over at all hours of the day; you understood it was her room too but hearing them try (and fail) to have quiet sex at 2 a.m was not only disturbing but left you exhausted most weekdays.

“i can’t keep doing it,” you whined to yeosang, laid on top of him in his bed.

it was ironic that his apartment, the one with seven hyper active boys you once thought was the loudest place on earth, was now your place of solace.

it was where you went on weekends to get a good night sleep, not only quiet with no interruptions but incredibly comfortable with your head in boyfriend’s warm chest.

“i’m telling you, baby, ask to get a new room,” he says, a frown on his face at the bags under your eyes. 

his fingers swipes under your purple skin and you close your eyes at his gentle touch, always about ready to fall asleep when you’re with him.

“i did, they don’t have anything,” you whine, burying your face deeper into his chest. “i was even looking at apartments off campus but they’re all too expensive.”

yeosang quirks an eyebrow when he hears you say that, biting down on his lip as he contemplates telling you his idea.

because even before your terrible roommate dilemma, he’d been playing with the idea of asking you to move in together. you guys have almost been together for a year and this summer, even with the bumps in the road, had been nice.

waking up and going to sleep together every day had been the best part for him.always being with you and going about your day still with each other. food shopping, furniture shopping, even just watching tv in silence together.

he wanted more of that with you.

“why don’t we move in together?”

he doesn’t mean to blurt it out so harshly but the words just fall out, your head snapping to him with wide eyes.

“what?”

“i... i know it seems kind of sudden but why don’t we move in together? we can split the rent then,” he says, his arm wrapping around your waist tightly. “we basically lived together this summer and that was nice, wasn’t it?” he hums, grinding his body into yours a little too purposely to be innocent.

you roll your eyes despite the smile pulling at your lips, moving away from his chest to peer up at him.

could he be serious? does he really wanna live with you?

“would you really wanna live with me?” you ask quietly, his eyebrows pulling together at the meekness in your tone.

“of course i would, baby,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to cheek sweetly. “why wouldn’t i?”

but even with his reassurance and sweet words, you still felt reluctantly.

it was a big step that scared you not only for financial reasons but because you know how you are. you couldn’t even have a roommate your first semester of college and now you’re gonna live with someone permanently?

but the more days pass with you living with your roommate, the more you realize you would much rather have yeosang. even if it meant taking a big next step with him as your boyfriend.

you walked up to his apartment ready to tell him you were ready to move in together, that you guys have to start looking immediately before you just insist on sleeping on the bench outside your dorms.

but when you open the door to this house, you’re met with chaos.

absolute, disastrous chaos. 

voices screaming, water everywhere and, most importantly, all of them running around shirtless and packing their bags; you suppose this is why yeosang hadn’t been answering your texts.

“um.. what is happening?” you ask loudly upon entering, all the boys heads snapping to you.

you’re able to make out the words water line breakage, flood, drown to death and parents house, the several loud voices rendering you unable to say or hear  anything properly.

yeosang pushes his way through and explains that their apartment is well on its way to being destroyed, a faulty waterline that the apartment manager didn’t take care of threatening to completely flood the building.

“what? where are you guys supposed to go now?!”

and that right there is how your current situation came about. 

moving into a one bedroom apartment with your boyfriend and his best friend, the black-haired boy looking over seonghwa with a particularly harsh look in his eye.

the rest of them were either able to secure dorm rooms at the boys dormitory or move in with their parents who lived close by - but seonghwa’s parents lived out of state now and the apartment he was one step away from closing on fell through, thus leaving him homeless.

this unsettled yeosang greatly, knowing his best friend was secretly in love with his girlfriend still.

“you’re crazy if you think i’d try anything with her at all, let alone with you fucking here, yeosang, shit.”

“i already told you just to tell her so shit doesn’t have to be awkward,” yeosang said, whisper-yelling as you set up furniture in your shared bedroom.

“telling her would make shit more awkward, she doesn’t have to know,” seonghwa argued back, looking toward the bedroom with a cautious look on his face.

ever since he outed his confession to yeosang this summer, he’d been trying to act like the same. 

distance himself physically but remain there for you emotionally - laugh with you, smile with you, act as a friend to you while not pushing the boundary when it came to how he felt about you.

“i don’t know how she doesn’t,” yeosang says honestly, looking at seonghwa with not a hint of anger in his eyes. “you make it pretty obvious.”

the dirty blonde narrows his eyes at the boy, punching him in the arm lightly before setting up the couch that now doubles as his bed - living like a true single bachelor.

you make your way out of your new bedroom, the house almost completely set up with furniture and decor. 

a frown crosses your face when you see seonghwa setting up the couch with pillows and blankets, poking the cushions with your finger as you look at him.

“seonghwa, are you sure this is gonna be okay? sleeping on a couch isn’t comfortable.”

“it’s a futon, y/n, they’re meant for that,” seonghwa teases, a small smile lighting up his face. “it’ll be fine.”

“but are you sure? what if you start to get-”

“he’ll be fine, baby,” yeosang says from behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle as his eyes bore into seonghwa. “you don’t have to worry about him.”

the dirty blonde rolls his eyes before looking to you, reassuring you with a small smile and nod. he plops down on the couch and adjusts himself comfortably, giving you a thumbs up as he looks you over happily.

“it’s good, i swear. it’s new so i just gotta break it in.”

“maybe you can invite a girl over. finally get laid,” yeosang mocks, seonghwa biting the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t say a snappy comment; but you, you of course, have other ideas about how to break it in.

“that’s a great idea! let’s have a movie night!”

and before the two boys can protest, you’re running off to your room and writing in the group chat for the boys to come over at eight with snacks and a list of scary movies to watch.

“she already runs the show around here, doesn’t she?” yeosang grumbles, a smirk crossing seonghwa’s face as he nods his head.

“duh.”

“duh! you never go back in the house, are they fucking nuts!?” wooyoung shouts hours later, the apartment completely dark apart from the glow of the tv and jongho’s pumpkin pecan waffles candle (the one he insisted on bringing to set the mood).

you share a knowing smile with seonghwa, the dirty blonde finding himself in the worst seat of the house - directly next to a chatty, exuberant wooyoung.

yeosang and hongjoong had jumped up and claimed the chaises of the other couch, you spending the first two and a half movies curled on top of yeosang until your side became numb and you stole mingi’s seat.

now you sat beside seonghwa, bumping his arm lightly and giggling any time he made a passing comment about wooyoung or the movie or anything else he found utterly stupid or loud.

“who do you think would be the first to die?” you whisper to seonghwa, a smirk on his face as he looks over at you. his lips quirk as he thinks, looking over the pile of his friends laid out in his new living room.

he catches yeosang’s eyes on him, the boy watching carefully before he looks back to the screen casually.

“definitely mingi,” seonghwa mumbles in your ear, a smile pulling at your lips as you watch the boy clutch onto a blanket tighter and bury himself closer to yunho. “he’s a coward.

“maybe,” you mutter, a yawn escaping you as you adjust your position on the couch. your curled legs hit seonghwa but neither of you move, pulling the fuzzy white blanket tighter around you.

“but i think it’d be jongho to be honest,” you mumble, tired eyes still focused on the screen as you him and talk hushly. “it’s always the person you’d least expect.”

a small chuckle leaves seonghwa’s mouth as he nods his head in agreement, wishing he could put his arm around you so you could fall asleep against him more comfortably.

but he just keeps his arm and legs against you, watching the movie until he suddenly feels the pressure of your head on his shoulder.

he looks down to see your eyes closed, hair splayed over your face as even breaths leave you. you look so at peace and innocent in your sleep, not even realizing when his hand reaches out to move away the strands.

his eyes move to yeosang’s when he realizes what he’s done, looking to the boy who’s still adamantly watching the movie and chewing on popcorn. he settles himself back and tries to relax, feel the warmth of your body on his and tries not to get to comfortable with how nice it feels to have you against him.

a small whine causes him to look down at you a few moments later, his hand reaching down to rub against your blanket-covered leg calmingly. he barely realizes he’s doing it, not until his phone vibrates next to him and he sees yeosang’s name appear.

his eyes shoot up to see the boy looking at him, jaw clenched and eyebrow raised as he nods his head toward his phone.

yeosang [1:04 a.m.] you’re pushing it dick. try not to look so happy about my gf sleeping on you.

the dirty blonde is quickly humbled, removing his hand from your leg before trining his attention back to the screen; but the scene is one yeosang can’t quite shake off.

not because of something like petty jealously or a bad feeling in his stomach. simply because it reminds him of the first time you fell asleep with him, just a random night where you dozed off on his shoulder and he thought nothing of it.

he was listening to the sound of your breathing, the tv just white noise in the background as his own eyes threatened to close.

you’d only been dating for a few weeks, enjoying the closeness that comes with watching movies as you both stay in for the night. he wasn’t quite sure when you dozed off, he just knew when he asked if you wanted to watch the next part of twilight, you didn’t answer.

(yes, twilight was your idea and no, he doesn’t enjoy it or want to know how edward and bella’s wedding is gonna turn out).

he deices to replay the first one, just noise to have on in the background as he starts to doze off himself.

he’s stirred awake, however, when your body lurches forward, a gasp leaving your mouth as you shoot up from your sleep quickly. his eyes are wide as he looks up at you, thinking you’re on the verge of a panic attack or nightmare and fully prepared to help in any way he can.

but he sees your eyes are more so full of shock, looking at him and the surroundings of his room like you can’t believe you’re still here.

“are you okay? what happened?”

“i... did i fall asleep?

“uh... yeah?”

you look to be in such disbelief, he doesn’t know what to make of it. is it that odd that you would’ve fallen asleep? it’s late and dark and you said you hadn’t slept too great the night before.

you look to see his face pulled in confusion, looking at you with a mix of concern and bewilderment that makes you shake off the weird feeling inside of you.

“sorry, it’s just... i can usually never ever fall asleep around people,” you explain to him, a problem since childhood that rendered you unable to attend sleepovers or even share a room with cousins on family vacations.

your parents and doctors said it was probably just that you weren’t tired but it felt as if they were deep rooted trust issues of some kind. not allowing yourself to be unconscious or unaware in the presence of other people.

but you didn’t realize any of that with yeosang; you’ve never felt as comfortable with anyone as you do with him.

“ever since i was a kid, i could only fall asleep alone. it’s like i was too scared around other people or something,” you chuckle out, a small smirk crossing yeosang’s face as he pecks a kiss to your nose.

“hmm.. guess you just really like and trust me, huh?”

yeosang bites the inside of his cheek as the memory comes back to him, watching as your sleeping figure moves closer to seonghwa with a content look on your face.

he can only smirk at the way seonghwa seems conflicted, looking down at you with the softest, sappiest expression he’s ever seen his colder friend wear before they move to him.

yeosang moves his eyes away, training them back on the terrible scary movie that, for whatever reason, has mingi absolutely shitting his pants.

the black haired boy wakes you up at the end of the movie, sitting on the other side of you and mumbling that he’s gonna bring you to your room. you barely stir so he lifts you up effortlessly, a tired whine leaving you before you smell his familiar scent.

your eyes pop open to see him looking down at you, a sweet smile on his face that causes one to break out across your own face.

“hi.”

“hi, love. you fell asleep.”

you nod tiredly, face red and hair messy as he places you down on the bed gently. you curl up and under the blanket, letting out a tired whine as you hold your arms out with a pout.

he snorts as he joins you immediately, moving in next to you and sighing contently when your head rests on his chest. his hand runs through your hair. gently, slow and calming in a way he knows will quickly put you back to sleep.

but he needs to ask you one thing tonight. he needs to settle this once and for all so he can stop his brain from racing and thoughts from spiraling.

“baby?”

“hm?”

“do you like seonghwa?”

even in a tired daze, the question throws you off.

makes you snap your head up and rest your chin on his chest, eyes narrowed and eyebrows shooting up your forehead as you look at your boyfriend of almost a year.

“what?”

“do you like seonghwa?”

he repeats it like it’s a simple question, so straight forward and casual that you would think he was joking if it wasn’t for how serious his expression is.

“i... you’re my boyfriend, yeosang? why would i like seonghwa?”

he bites his lip at the confused expression on your tired face, twirling a piece of your hair at the top before letting it bounce back.

“was just a question, love.”

you look at him in complete shock and confusion, trying to decipher any anger or jealously on his face.

“is it because i fell asleep on him? i didn’t even know, yeosang, i just-”

“no, baby, no,” he’s quick to assure, his hands cupping your face gently. “it was really just a question, okay? i’m not mad or anything.”

you look at your boyfriend but see nothing but honesty in his eyes, reluctantly nodding your head before resting your head back on his chest. he hums quietly as you close your eyes, his chest feeling different than seonghwa’s but still just as comforting.

you don’t even have the time to wonder why you’re even thinking about that, comparing yeosang and seonghwa’s chests and smells, until you’re fast asleep again.

it took four days for you to finally admit it to yeosang.

and it wasn’t even that you lied at the time he asked - you just didn’t even realize.

you didn’t realize that, for longer than you can remember, you might’ve always had a bit of a crush on seonghwa. entranced by his handsome face and the way he carried himself.

how he always looked out for you and made you feel safe and cared for despite not owing you a thing.

but it wasn’t something that was overwhelmingly noticeable. 

you hadn’t thought about seonghwa when you were with yeosang. you hadn’t wished he was him or that the dirty blonde was the one who let you borrow a pen the first day of college.

but you did eventually come to love seonghwa. 

depend on him and look forward to seeing him and knowing that, if you didn’t have him in your life, your life would feel emptier.

but why had yeosang asked that? did he know before you did? did he see something in the way you looked or acted around his best friend? why wasn’t he mad about it?

“we can have a talk about it if you want,” yeosang said when you confessed all of this to him, sitting on your bed with a heavy pit in your stomach. 

“in fact, i think we’ll definitely have to talk about somethings. but for now... i think you should tell seonghwa.”

and if this whole situation wasn’t bizarre enough, admitting to your boyfriend that you liked another man, that surely did it. your boyfriend telling you to confess your feelings to him even though he was his best friend and you two were very much together.

“what?”

“tell seonghwa that you like him, baby,” he mumbles, his hands holding your face gently. there’s so much confusion and hesitation in your eyes he almost wants to laugh but he supposes he can’t blame you.

this whole situation is weird. and he doesn’t know how he knows this is the direction your relationship should go - he’s just felt it inside of himself for the past few weeks.

“stop looking so confused and just trust me, okay? tell him you like him and see what he says.”

so that’s exactly what you do, despite all the confusion still swirling inside of you; because as confused as you are about this entire situation, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you do like seonghwa.

you love him, even. not just as a friend and someone who’s been there for you but more. the way you feel comforted by his physical touch, physical being, how sometimes you’ve felt like, if you didn’t know any better and if things were different, your lips would’ve met with no hesitation.

“i... we should get back then,” you hear yourself say. “i didn’t realize it was that late.”

it’s the reality check seonghwa needed to, that he shouldn’t be the one making you laugh and smile while your heart and mind are still plagued by yeosang. so he nods his head, rising to his feet and looking down at you for a few seconds.

you feel a lump form in your throat at the look he gives you, butterflies threatening to erupt in your stomach as his eyes roam every inch of your face. eyes to your hair to your nose to your lips, his tongue peeking out before he nods his head down toward the beach.

"lets go, then,” he says, ignoring the slightly dejected feeling in his stomach he knows he shouldn’t have. “they might be back by now.”

you find the dirty blonde in the kitchen, hunched over a pot of boiling water as he carefully puts in a bag of ramen.

“seonghwa?” you say, creeping up on him with your hands intertwined and a blush already creeping its way on your body.

“oh, hey, y/n. you want some?”

you peek over at the chicken flavored ramen, your nose twitching when you say the bold, red, spicy printed on it; he lips quirk up into a smirk upon seeing your face.

“sorry. forgot you don’t like spicy food.”

you watch seonghwa stand over the stove for a few minutes, plopping yourself up on the counter to watch him silently. he continues what he’s doing with your silent presence there, completely going about his routine until he tells you to sit at the table with him.

there’a few more moments of silence, just him slurping and your occasional laugh until he finally realizes you came out here to say something.

“so... what’s up?”

you peek up at the boy watching you carefully, slurping a noodle into his mouth and watching some excess broth fall into the bowl.

“what do you mean?”

“don’t you wanna tell me something?” he asks, his questioning tone making your heart pound. “or ask me something? you’ve been playing with your fingers for the past fifteen minutes.”

you let out a sigh as you drop your hands to your lap, watching him with a look of mock disdain on your face; curse this boy for knowing you so well.

“it’s a little... random,” you begin, not quite sure how to approach this. 

you’ve never confessed to someone before, especially not per the request of your boyfriend, but you have to imagine these are all the feelings that comes with it.

nervousness in your stomach and warmth fluttering throughout your body, hoping and praying that he like you back because if not, you’re gonna ruin this friendship and that’s not something you want at all.

“and maybe even shocking. but... i think i have to tell you and i hope you don’t think it’s weird. it’s something i just realized within these past few days and i... i don’t wanna ruin anything between us.”

his eyebrows pull together at your words, dropping his utensils on the table as he looks over your face carefully. his stomach’s quickly consumed by nervous, anxiety-ridden knots, looking over your face for any hint of emotion.

but you just seem to look as nervous as him.

“you wouldn’t, you couldn’t,” seonghwa assures gently, his voice deep and soft as he speaks to you and only you; you’re freaking him the fuck out but he’s trying to remain as calm as possible.

“what is it?”

you bite down on your lip as you look at seonghwa, his deep brown eyes staring at you so intensely it makes your stomach flutter. you don’t know how you didn’t reaize sooner that you liked him.

“i.... i like you,” you tell him, voice shaky and soft but the words already out - you’ve said them and there’s no going back. “i like you, seonghwa. a lot.”

it feels as if there’s a giant weight off your shoulders the second you say it, the butterflies in your stomach at an all time high. it feels good to finally say this, finally realize and admit it and let it out into the universe.

“i think i might even love you the way i love yeosang. i didn’t realize because of him, i guess, but now i know i love you both. i don’t know if that’s normal or possible but i really do, seonghwa. i hope that’s not weird for-”

the first thing you taste is the faint spice of chicken broth, unfamiliar but remarkable lips covering yours that you meet back instantly. seonghwa hums against your mouth as he pulls your chair closer to him, the sound of it scraping against the floor going unnoticed by both of you.

you’re only consumed by the feeling of his lips, the small noises leaving your mouth and the desperation of his kiss. how it feels like he’s been wanting to do this for so long, kiss you and touch you and show you how much he’s loved you from afar.

his hand grips your face as he pulls you closer, his deeply mumbled moan of your name against your lips causing you to whine against him. allow his tongue into your mouth and giggle when they collide into one another.

all the kissing stops though the second you hear another voice, the sound of the footsteps approaching you before a hand smacks into the concrete wall harshly.

“i told you to confess. you guys are making out?”

february - junior year

the first thing you learned about polyamorous relationships was that they’re all very different.

the way they come about, the rules in which couples establish, how and why people choose to be in them. there’s not some one size fits all for any relationship in life and that stands true for you, yeosang and seonghwa.

admittedly, things were weird in the beginning. navigating between yeosang and seonghwa comfortably and getting used to having not one but two boyfriends.

there were insecurities to quell on both sides, naturally, and you learned how do that.

assure yeosang that he was enough and that you stayed in love with him for a reason. assure seonghwa that he was enough and that you fell in love with him for a reason too.

many reasons that all became too much and morphed into one another, rendering you, both, loyal and locked down to two men who constantly tested you.

the first test being the blanket dilemma.

without fail, no matter the weather and no matter the sleeping position, you woke up without a blanket. 

you were either curled into seonghwa’s warm body, your legs intertwined and his arms around you, or had your back trapped against yeosang’s chest.

his arms wound tightly around your waist, the steady rise and fall of his breath on your skin as seonghwa laid there with the queen size blanket half on him and half on the floor; that’s what this morning was like, too.

you slowly untangled yourself from yeosang, crawling over to seonghwa until you plopped yourself down on him clumsily. he stirred underneath you, attempting to move and stretch his body with the weight of you on top of him.

you bend down to peck his cheek lightly, smiling when his handsome, sleeping face barely changes. 

you decide to play a little bit more, moving your body back and forth against him teasingly. the movements somehow wake the black-haired boy next to you, his eyes popping open and a smirk on his face as he watches you grind against seonghwa.

“what are you doing, baby?”

his voice causes you to jump, a quiet chuckle leaving him as you move your arms to showcase the stolen blankets.

“he can’t keep doing this!” you whisper-scream, a look of frustration on his face. “every morning it’s either you or him stealing all the blankets and leaving us freezing.”

yeosang rolls closer so he’s in your warm spot in the middle, looking up at you as his hand rests on your waist. you’re only wearing one of his white t-shirts, your nipples peeking through the material not at all helping his morning wood.

“and you think grinding over his dick is gonna help?”

your cheeks flush as you stick your tongue out at him immaturely, tuning back to run your fingers through seonghwa’s dirty blonde hair. 

the slow, calmingly movements cause tired groans to leave his mouth, his eyes eventually popping open before a smirk crosses his face.

“hi, baby girl,” his deep morning voice drones, one hand slipping past your shirt to rest on your waist. “what are you doing?”

“you stole the blanket again,” you whine, the pout on your face one he just wants to kiss off with you on top of him like this.

“i didn’t mean too,” he hums, moving you along by the hips as he feels his cock grow harder. “you had yeosang to keep you warm, no?”

the two share of look, both of them more often than no waking up horny and ready to take you. it’s not something you’re ignorant of either, watching them look at you before, suddenly, you’re pushed down onto our back.

“because, you know pretty girl, we may take the blankets but you take up a whole lot of room,” seonghwa says, his hands running through your messy morning hair.

he’s never slept with someone who kicks as much as you. who, even though you’re the smallest in the bed, take up the most space by far.

“remember the night you almost kicked me off?” he hums, a smirk on his face at the memory. his hand trails down your face, thumb pressing on your lip before he moves his hand over your chin and down your neck.

yeosang smirks when he watches you swallow nervously, his hand on your hip slipping between your thighs carefully. he doesn’t make any moves to touch you, just holds your inner thigh and allows his thumb to move slowly up and down your skin.

“he’s got a point baby,” yeosang’s voice mumbles, slightly deeper than even seonghwa’s morning voice. “you do take up a lot of room for being the smallest one here.”

with their hands on you and an intense feeling building in the air, you’re quickly being humbled. 

seonghwa’s hand trailing over your white t-shirt until it’s ghosting over your nipples, the palm of his hand on the sensitive bud causing your breath to quicken.

or that could be because yeosang’s hand is so close to your pussy, just a few inches away from touching your bare, growing wetness.

“i... i don’t mean too,” you say, growing more and more submissive and ready to whine as your two boyfriends start to cloud your senses; you were scolding them and now you’re the one being punished - how is that fair? 

seonghwa’s hand gently guides your shirt up until your bare chest hits the cold air, a deeply mumbled “fuck,” leaving him before he dips his head down and attaches his mouth to your nipple.

you let out a surprised gasp, sensations of pleasure shooting right between your legs. yeosang is readily there with his long, skilled fingers, toying with your slit and teasingly running up and down the growing wetness.

“you might not mean to,” yeosang says, eyes peeking up to see seonghwa’s face in your chest and your mouth thrown back in pleasure. “but you still do it, don’t you?”

his finger slides into you easily, a loud moan escaping you that has seonghwa smiling against your boob. his other hands move over to tweak with your nipple, yeosang keeping up his movements as he curls his finger inside of you.

you’ve barely been up for ten minutes but you feel yourself about to come, both the boys far too skilled and ready to give you pleasure however and whenever you want it.

you cry out when yeosang slips another finger inside of you, seonghwa disconnecting his mouth from your nipple to kiss you deeply. skilled tongue slipping in your mouth as his lips part on yours and you’re kissing back just as desperately.

chasing your orgasm as your hips buck into yeosang’s hand.

“are you about to come?” seonghwa mumbles when he pulls back, his hand trailing over your neck and squeezing at the sides lightly. “has your pretty little pussy had enough? are you gonna come just from yeosang’s hand?”

“y-yes,” you moan out, hand reaching out to hold onto seonghwa’s shoulder. “and your mouth.”

“please, he didn’t do shit,” yeosang mutters, his fingers fucking into you with just the right amount of pressure and speed.

they both watch with lust in their eyes as you moan loudly, eyes rolling back as you throw your head into the pillow. yeosang removes his hand immediately, tapping at your hip gently.

“turn around.”

but seonghwa can tell immediately what yeosang wants to do, the dirty blonde slapping his hand away and instead gripping your hips tightly.

“you got to touch her,” seonghwa growls, bitter over the fact he didn’t get to make you ome first thing in the morning. “now i get to fuck her.”

“you waited too long to make your move,” the black-haired boy smirks, the double meaning in his words making him roll his eyes. “that’s why i got her first.”

“well, maybe if you didn’t-”

“stop,” you whine, the growing feeling of wet empitness making you frown at your two boyfriends. “one of you, please. the o-other can fuck my mouth. i’ll be good, i promise.”

seonghwa and yeosang share a look before the dirty blonde flips you over and pulls up your hips, rising your ass in the air as he holds himself on his knees. the bed is firm enough so that he doesn’t sink down, rubbing over your ass gently before landing a loud, resounding smack.

“you’re always good for us, baby girl,” he says, trailing his dick up and down your wet slit. “you’re always so so good.”

you whine as he teases you, knowing that, with seonghwa, it’s better if you’re polite and wait. he likes seeing you desperate and whining, always waiting until he says it’s okay to buck your hips or chase your own orgasm.

but he doesn’t give you the time today.

because one second you’re empty and wet and ready to scream and then the next, his hips are smacking into yours and he’s fucking the life out of you. snapping them just the right way and in just the right spots for you to be crying out into your hot and stuffy bedroom.

“seonghwa,” you moan, the slapping of skin and quiet grunts filling the room.

it’s all halted, however, when yeosang’s in front of you, his hard cock just inches from your face as he looks down at you. there’s a smirk on his face seeing you so fucked out and desperate because of them, guiding your mouth to him and smiling when you take his cock without a second thought.

your tongue laps at the tip, swirling around and around until you sink down on it further. you hold back a gag when he hits the back of your throat, your head getting into a groove that has yeosang cursing and groaning your name harshly.

“there you go, baby,” you hear seonghwa growl from behind you, his hand reaching around you play with your clit. “you take us both so well. filling you up and making you feel good, right baby?”

“r-right, seonghwa,” you moan, eyes rolling back when his cock starts hitting a certain spot inside you. he can feel you’re about to come by the way you tighten around him, by the way your head starts bobbing harsher and yeosang’s grunts grow louder and deeper.

“come first, baby. it’s okay,” seonghwa says, partially because they always want you to come first and partially because he knows he’s about to bust inside of you.

it takes you clenching and throwing your hips back against his for him to come, one last snap of his hips causing you both to release. you’re moaning against yeosang’s cock when he releases too, the vibrations and knowledge that you just came with his cock in your mouth far too much.

the room is a mess of bodily fluids, heavy breathing and sweat but it doesn’t matter. you collapse on top of the bed as seonghwa pulls out of you and yeosang massages the sides of your aw gently.

the black-haired boy mumbles sweet nothings to you as seonghwa gets a warm rag, cleaning between your legs before he kisses the top of your head sweetly.

“you did good, baby,” he mumbles, collapsing on the bed next to you and wrapping arm around your waist. the three of you lay in silence for a few moments, heart rates calming and senses coming back before yeosang looks at you with a soft, sweetness in his eyes.

“oh. and happy valentine’s day baby.”

you’ll never forget your first valentine’s day as a couple with yeosang and seonghwa.

it was only a few months after you confessed to seonghwa during your sophomore year, the three of you just starting out and establishing rules for your new relationship.

they had all been strangely easy to work out, the number one rule being to always communicate. 

be open and honest about everything one of you may being feeling, so there’s not a spiral of miscommunication and tears the way there was that one disconnected summer.

the transition had been strangely easy for all of you too, probably because yeosang knew seonghwa liked you way before he called his friend out.

the parts of it that had been hard, however, was something you least expected - telling the rest of the boys and reserving a table for three on valentine’s day.

“wait... you’re all going to dinner?” san asked, looking at the three of you with confusion on his face. “can we come? what the hell.”

“you’re not sending us off the bar again but instead leaving us alone? why can seonghwa go but not us? we wanna spend time with, y/n, too.”

“because i’m her boyfriend, bud. who are you?”

seonghwa’s deep, sarcastic voice halted all the whines and complaints immediately, everyone’s eyes wide as they look to yeosang. the black-haired boy can only smirk as he feels eyes on him, a reassuring nod that sends the house into chaos again.

asking what kind of swinger shit is going on and how long it’d been going on under their roof without them knowing.

“it’s not swinger shit, dickhead, we’re just both dating her. like... one cohesive unit that live together and take care of her. me and seonghwa both agreed to it. in fact, i think it was more so my idea.”

“it was definitely your idea,” you tell him, seonghwa’s arm around your shoulder as he watches you talk with  smile. “you’re the one who told me to tell seonghwa i liked him!”

a snort leaves yeosang and seonghwa as there’s a mix of different reviews in the crowd.

hongjoong and yunho are looking on supportively, the only two boys who had lingering suspicions about seonghwa’s feelings for you.

wooyoung, san and jongho are only slightly confused, a mix of happy and cautious like they don’t know what’s about to happen but are here for it.

and mingi is by far the most baffled, looking between you, seonghwa and yeosang before shaking his head in bewilderment.

"straight people are so weird.”

you nearly spit out your drink at dinner reliving the story with yeosang and seonghwa, the table full of meat, pasta and bread as you celebrate valentine’s day together.

going out on dates was something you also had to get used to, usually surrounded by lovey-dovey couples who only had eyes for each other; but for you guys, the dynamic was obviously different.

you’d hold seonghwa’s hand while smiling lovingly at yeosang. yeosang would have his hand on your lower back while you and seonghwa played footsie under the table.

if anyone were nosy or curious about your dynamic, they’d be able to pick up on it really quick - but you three didn’t care. it wasn’t anyone’s business but your own and as long as you guys were all happy, it didn’t matter.

“he’s such a little shit,” seonghwa mutters, a giggle leaving your mouth as yeosang raises a fork to your mouth. you open up happily, biting into a piece of chicken and chewing on the flavorful food.

you three eat until you’re ready to explode, seonghwa and yeosang splitting the check before walking out to your car. 

you half expect to go back home, lay out in bed with them and spend the rest of the night watching cheesy romantic comedy, until you realize you’re in the car for a while.

your head resting on the chair as you turn to look at yeosang.

“where are we going?”

“it’s a surprise,” he mumbles, your mouth dropping open as you look at seonghwa in the back seat.

“wait.. do you know?”

he shrugs his shoulders with a smirk pulling at his lips, a whine leaving your mouth as you wack both of them in the arms.

“that’s not fair! please tell me, too!”

“we’re almost there, baby, c’mon,” seonghwa mumbles, moving closer to take your face in his hands. “come back here with me.”

“no,” yeosang says, taking one hand off the wheel to hold your arm tightly; but seonghwa’s at an advantage, picking you up over the console and dragging you up and onto his lap.

he drowns out the sounds of yeosang’s yelling, securing you onto his lap as you straddle him with a chastising look on your face.

“that was dangerous,” you mumble, a snort leaving him as he shakes his head at you.

“it’s fine,” he mumbles, your lips meeting in a kiss that you meet back immediately. 

yeosang looks in the rearview mirror when he hears the sounds of lips smacking and muffled moans, throwing an empty water bottle that just misses seonghwa’s head.

“i’m not your fucking uber driver,” yeosang snaps, “don’t make out when i can’t join.”

“hear that, baby? he wants to kiss me, too.”

you muffle your giggles into his chest, seonghwa and yeosang bantering back and forth as you rest your head on seonghwa’s chest. he’s warm and toned underneath you, the gentle lull of the car causing your eyes to close.

you’re not sure if you fall asleep, you think you’re in that weird space of consciousness and slumber, when you hear yeosang mumbling your name. his lips are by your ear and you look up at him sleepily, a smile on his face when he tells you to wake up.

you look around to see you’re still in the car, the black leather interior one you’re very used to by now. but what you’re not used to seeing is the ocean outside the windows, a gasp leaving your mouth that quickly wakes you up.

you run out and onto the beach, yeosang trailing behind as he shouts your name with a smile.

seonghwa and him had already set up the blankets on the sand, a cooler full of drinks and snacks off the side.

“yeosang told me this was your first date,” seonghwa mumbles, his arms wrapping around your waist. “gotta admit, pretty smooth even for him.”

a smile brightens your face as you peck his lips, intertwining your hands before reaching out to grab yeosang’s.

you drag the two boys out to the freezing ocean, both of their desperate pleas to not freeze their balls off going unheard by you. you just giggle and pull them out further, squealing when the freezing water hits you feet and you jump up.

they both move to catch you, yeosang catching one leg and seonghwa catching the other as you hold yourself above them.

“baby, this was your fucking idea,” yeosang complans, the smile on his face proving he’s not bad in the slightest.

you frolic around with the two boys until your feet are numb. giggling and squealing when seonghwa catches you around the waist and pecking yeosang’s lips when you fall back and collapses on top of you.

“i love you,” he mumbles against your mouth, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you smile against him.

you spend the rest of the night cuddled between them, your head on seonghwa’s stomach as yeosang sits next to you, playing with your fingers and blowing hot air on your cold hands.

it’s calm and peaceful and everything you’ve ever wanted. 

there’s a different type of feeling in the air compared to the first time you were here with just yeosang, something that feels right and sweet and like without, both, yeosang and seonghwa here, it just wouldn’t be the same.

“i love you,” seonghwa mumbles when you look up at him, his hands twirling through your hair as he bends down to peck your lips.

all your cheeks are red from the wind and the tips of your fingers are freezing but you don’t wanna leave just yet. you just wanna stay here together, enjoy the silence and the crash of the waves and the occasional squawk of a brave seagull.

maybe even wait until the sun comes up to watch the sunrise, if you guys don’t completely freeze to death together.

january - senior year

your trip to the mountains doubled as a two year anniversary/graduation celebration.

the three of you were still as strong as ever, dealing with bumps in the road that all couples went through: fits of miscommunication, times of insecurity, even acknowledging that, sometimes, you need seonghwa and yeosang for different things.

seonghwa’s the boyfriend who understands you. 

is similiar to you and knows the way your introverted mind works. you go to him when you feel most uncomfortable in a crowd, like at frat parties or in bars where you know yeosang just thrives.

but yeosang’s the one who pushes you to do extraordinary things - maybe not even extraordinary, just things you normally wouldn’t do; he’s the one who pushed you to do you research with your professor that ended up allowing you to graduate one semester early with them.

so in order to celebrate, you three rented a house in the mountains with one bedroom, a giant movie room and a hot tub on the balcony.

spent a week in the snowy, picturesque country where you lounged around in bed, soaked in the hot tub and became even more sure that this is what you wanted for the rest of your life.

to wake up next to seonghwa and yeosang, even if it meant having the blankets ripped off of you in the night.

to live with them and build a life together with them, deal with the bickering that comes with dating best friends who have known each other for their entire lives.

to act surprised when, in a few years when you’re settled with jobs and a house, they buy you matching wedding bands to show off the fact that you’re theirs.

[we-all-smut-down-here]

I loved and I loved and I lost you

My head was pounding as I opened my eyes. I put a hand to my head as I sat up in the bed. “Oh good you’re awake I was afraid that I used a little too much toxin.” A voice said. I quickly looked over to where the voice came from and I saw Illumi. “Why did you do this?” I asked. “I just want you to prove that you are safe and alive to our families then after that I promise I will take you back.” Illumi said. “Sure. Sure you will. I know you don’t plan on taking me back.” I said. “No I promise that I will take you back.” Illumi said. I opened my mouth to say something but I suddenly felt sick. I jumped up from Illumi’s bed and ran to the bathroom.

I rushed to the toilet kneeling on the ground and started to throw up. I went to hold my hair but Illumi grabbed ahold of my hair went one hand and rubbed his other up and down my back. “You’ve never reacted like this to any toxin before.” Illumi said. “I don’t think it’s the toxin. I need to get back.” I said as I reached up and flushed the toilet. “No just stay here. I’ll get a doctor to come and check you out first.” Illumi said. “No I’m fine. Besides I think I know what’s wrong.” I said as I got up from the ground going over the sink grabbing the mouthwash.

Once I walked out of the bathroom Kikyo and my mother rushed in. My mom rushed over to me putting her hands on my face. “Oh thank god you’re okay. Do you know how worried you have made all us for the past three years?” My mom said. “I told you that Illumi would find her and bring her back home. You did great son.” Kikyo said. “Well I’m sorry that I’ve worried everyone but I have to get back I have a life now.” I said as tried to walk past them but my mom grabbed my arm yanking me back. “Where you do you think you’re going young lady. You are not going back to wherever in the hell that you’ve been.” My mom said. “I just can’t do that mom.” I said. “Why the hell not?” My mom asked. I was afraid to answer. I knew if I told them that they would go and kill Chrollo. “Well?” My mom asked. “I’m married and I think I’m pregnant.” I said. “What in the hell were you thinking!” Kikyo yelled. “Who is it?” My mom yelled. “If I tell you his name you’ll kill him.” I said. “That’s more than he deserve for you ruining everything.” My mom said. “How did I ruin everything?” I asked. “Because of you you’re older sister couldn’t marry Illumi like we had planned for years and we couldn’t marry you off to the other family we had planned to.” My mom said. “I couldn’t help who I love.” I said. “Do you honestly thing like love exist in our families.” My mom said. “It may not exist to you or anyone else in our families but I love my husband and he loves me.” I said. “Tell me his name right now!” My mom yelled. “No.” I said. “Illumi do you know?” Kikyo asked. “Yes. He hired me to do a job a few months back.” Illumi said. “Illumi please don’t.” I said. “And he knew where she was for months?” My mom asked. “Actually she’s been with him ever since she left.” Illumi said. “Illumi.” I said. “What’s his name?” Kikyo asked. “Chrollo Lucilfer the leader of the phantom troupe.” Illumi said. “The phantom troupe. No you are not allow to return to that man do you understand me.” My mom said. “What no. I’m not a little kid anymore you can’t tell me what to do.” I said. “You can and you will young lady. If you don’t I’ll make sure that not only him but everyone in that little troupe will die by morning do I make myself clear.” My mom said. I nodded my head as tears filled my eyes. “Yes ma’ma I won’t go back to him.” I said. “Come on now Kikyo we have a wedding to plan.” My mom said. Kikyo nodded and they walked out of Illumis’s room.

“Why did you have to do this? I told you to leave me alone.” I said. “I am sorry if I knew that this is what would have happened I won’t have brought you back.” Illumi said. I laughed a little. “Sure. Sure you did. Why did you tell them you saw me? I was happy.” I said. Illumi put a hand on my cheek but I slapped his hand away. “Why did they mean by a wedding?” I asked even though I already the answer. “Our parents made an agreement if I found you and brought you back that we could get married.” Illumi said. “Of course. I need some air I’m sorry.” I said walking away. I walked out of the mansion and outside.

I started to walk around the grounds. It was long before I could hear someone following me. I knew who was following me. A small smile came to my face. “Come on out mike.” I said. Mike came out from the trees and made his way over to me. He started to nudge me with his head. “Easy boy. I know I missed you too.” I said as I started to pet him. Mike put his nose to my stomach and started to stiff my stomach. “Don’t be rough I might be pregnant boy.” I said. “He could probably sense it. Animals can sense that kind of thing.” Illumi said as he walked over to me. “I wanted to be alone.” I said. “I understand but if I don’t come and find you something else could happened.” Illumi said. “What if I am pregnant?” I asked. “I’ll say it’s mine.” Illumi said. “Right do you honestly think my mom or yours would believe that? The baby would come earlier than they would expect.” I said. “The child would look similar to me so they wouldn’t question it much.” Illumi said. “Why would you do this for me?” I asked. “Because I took you from the man that you really loved. You love him more than you ever loved me.” Illumi said. “Illumi.” I said. “No it’s okay. I didn’t fight for you when it mattered and I just thought it would have been best to just forget about us. But when you actually did it I guess you could say I couldn’t do the same. Did you know I became a hunter?” Illumi said. “No I didn’t. When did that happen?” I asked. “A little over six months ago. I did it to make the job that Chrollo hired me for to make it easier and because Killua was doing it as well after he ran away.” Illumi said. “Wait he did what? He didn’t mention that when I saw him. What happened?” I said. “He stabbed mother and Milluki.” Illumi said. “Oh wow.” I said. “I also became a hunter to find you. So I guess it kind of worked.” Illumi said. Mike nudged my face with his nose. I started to laugh a little. “Okay boy I distracted you long enough. Go on. I’ll be around.” I said. Mike nudged me one more time then left. “You know I think that he missed you the most.” Illumi said. “I missed him a lot too. Come on we should get back inside.” I said holding out my hand. Illumi just look down at my hand in confusion. “We are supposed to act like we like each other again right?” I asked. “You are right. You should take off your rings.” Illumi said. I nodded and took of my rings putting them in my pocket then grabbed Illumi’s hand then we made our way back to the mansion.

We walked back into the mansion where both of our moms were waiting. “Where were you two?” My mom asked. “We took a walk to catch up.” Illumi said. “I see you took care of those god awful rings that the spider gave her.” Kikyo said. “She won’t see them again.” Illumi said. “Good those rings were ugly. Now I’m sure the rings you will give her will more beautiful than he gave her.” My mom said. “How’s the wedding planning going?” I asked. “You’ll be marrying by the end of the week. We just need to finish some little details. We had this planned for almost three years.” My mom said. I forced a smile. “That’s amazing. I would love to see the dress.” I said. “We are actually picking up the dress tomorrow.” Kikyo said. “I would love to come with to go and pick it up.” I said. “Oh no that would ruin the surprise. Illumi didn’t you say you wanted to wait till you found her to get the ring right.” My mom said. “Yes that is correct.” Illumi said. “You can go with Illumi.”My mom said. “Yes Ma’ma.” I said. “Come on its dinner time.” Kikyo said. “Well I really need to get home. I’m so happy that you’re back where you belong.” My mom said kissing the side of my head. “I know.” I said. “Thank you for bringing her home Illumi.” My mom said. Illumi nodded then my mom left.

We follow Kikyo to the dining room. Diner had to be the most awkward ever. Of course Zeno and Silva was furious when they found out that I was with Chrollo and that they never knew. After dinner Illumi and I went back to his room. I went over and sat down on his bed. Illumi came over and sat down beside me. I wanted to go back to Chrollo but I couldn’t. “Do you think he’s looking for me?” I asked. “Yes.” Illumi said. “Well we need to make him not come after me.” I said. “How do you want to that?” Illumi said. “Since he hired you to do a job right. I’m sure that you still have his number correct.” I said. “You are correct” Illumi said. “Call him and let me talk to him. I’m the only one that would make him not come after me.” I said. “You don’t have to do that.” Illumi said. “I have to. Please give me your phone.” I said holding out my hand. Illumi handed me his phone. I unlocked it to already see missed calls from Chrollo. I called him back putting his phone to my ear and waited on him to answer.

“I swear Zoldyck if you hurt her.” Chrollo said. “Chrollo.” I said. “Y/n are you hurt? Where are you?” Chrollo asked. “I’m fine I can’t tell you where I am. I’m not coming back either.” I said. “What are you talking about?” Chrollo asked. “I can’t tell you. Did you honestly think that we would last.” I said. “I love you.” Chrollo said. “Stop.” I said. “No I love you. I know that something happened. Zoldyck must have done something to make you say all of this.” Chrollo said. “No. No one has done anything.” I said. “I love you.” Chrollo said. “Stop saying that. You don’t. You don’t love me. You never did. Illumi has always loves me and always will.” I said. “I will get you back. Once I can use Nen again I’ll get you back.” Chrollo said. “Goodbye Chrollo.” I said and hung up. I handed Illumi back his phone. “Do you think he and troupe will come for you?” illumi asked. “No he’s not with the troupe and can’t be.” I said. “What happened?” Illumi asked. “That blonde boy that Killua and Gon are friends with he stabbed Chrollo in the heart with a judgement blade. He can’t use Nen or talk to any troupe member if he does he will die.” I said. “But you’re a troupe member.” Illumi said. “Not an official one. The blonde boy must have felt sorry for me because he allowed me to stay with Chrollo.” I said. “So that’s why you wanted to make sure he doesn’t come after you.” Illumi said. “I’m not worth starting a war.” I said. “Yes you are. You didn’t tell him.” Illumi said. “I’m not sure if I’m even pregnant.” I said. “How long have you been throwing up in the morning?” Illumi asked. “Two weeks.” I said putting my head on his shoulder.

Illumi and I didn’t talk much the rest of the night. The next morning we had went to go get the ring like we said we were. The ring was beautiful there was no doubt about it. But I knew nothing would be able to beat the ring that Chrollo gave to me. I knew it and Illumi knew it. But this would make our moms happy. If this was three years ago I would have been happy that I was marrying Illumi. But that was then and this is now.

Just like our moms said Illumi and I were married at the end of the week. I told my mom that Chrollo would never come after me and she actually believed it. Silva and Zeno I’m not so sure that they believed it. I’ve still thrown up every morning. Illumi promised me that he will be by my side the whole time. That’s when we also decided to tell them about my morning sickness. They all seemed happy and called a doctor. The doctor came and went telling us that he would come back before the day was over with the results. I was in mine and Illumi’s room sitting on the bed a nervous wreck. Illumi wasn’t here because he left not long after the doctor left to do a job but he promised to finish the job as soon as he could to get back.

At the end of the day the doctor called me back finally confirming that I was pregnant. I thought that I would have been happy to hear that I was pregnant but I wasn’t I was sad. I sent a text to Illumi to let him know. I put my phone down on the bed and left the room to go tell our moms. Of course they were happy to hear that there was going to be future assassins. Then they went off to probably start planning for the baby. I went back to Illumi’s and I room going to lie down in bed. I didn’t feel like getting under the covers. I brought an extra pillow close to me. I buried my face in the pillow as I started to cry and cried myself.

I could feel someone stroking my hair. I pushed my face more into the pillow. I felt a cold hand on my stomach when startled me awake. I saw Illumi sitting next to me. “You scared me.” I said sitting up. “I’m guessing they brought it.” Illumi said. “Yeah they did. I wouldn’t be surprise if the baby’s room is already done.” I said. “It is already done.” Illumi said. “I guess I’ve been asleep for a while then. What time is?” I asked. “It’s about seven in the morning.” Illumi said. I nodded as I got up from bed grabbing some clothes and went to take a shower.

Five months later

I now have a very noticeable baby bump. I’m five almost six months along. I haven’t heard from Chrollo since the day I told him not to come after me. At first I hoped that he wouldn’t listen to me and come to take me back. But as time went on and he didn’t I accepted that I was here and that I have to be with someone that I didn’t love. I was sitting in bed with my back against the headboard rubbing my stomach. Illumi was on a job that would take a few days but he had finished it and was on his way back. “Hey little one it’s mom. I wish that you could have met you father but I guess that you will never be able to. It’s all my fault I couldn’t run from my past and because of that you won’t know him. I’m not sure that Illumi will love or care about you. He keeps saying that he will but I just don’t fully believe him. I really hope that dad would come to fight for me because he knew how destroyed me when Illumi didn’t do the same. But he had to do the same.” I said as tears filled my eyes. Then I started to feel the baby kick for the first time. “Oh little one you don’t know how happy you made me.” I said. The baby started to kick more as I heard the door open.

I looked towards to the door and saw Illumi. “Are you alright?” Illumi asked. “Come here.” I said as I motioned my hand to him. Illumi walked over and sat down on the bed beside me. I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach. “Can you do that again for mom little one?” I asked. The baby started to kick again. Illumi had a small smile on his face. “This is the first time I felt the little one kick.” I said. “They seem to really be reacting to your voice.” Illumi said taking his hand off my stomach. When I looked at Illumi I could feel my heart start to flutter like it used to. No. No no. No I. No I can’t start to have feeling for Illumi again. I love Chrollo and he loves me. He’s just waiting to get his Nen back then he would come to get me. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he already had his nen back and just never came for me. He had to find someone else. That had to be the reason. He hasn’t come and he never will. My feeling for Illumi slowly started to come back. I put my hand on top of his. I gave him a small smile. I wrapped my other arm around his neck. Then I pulled him to me and kissed him.

Illumi wrapped an arm around me pulling me closer to him. I took off the hand that was on top of his and also wrapped it around his neck. Then the baby started to kick which made me pull away giggling. “I guess that the little one tell us to stop.” I said. “I guess so. Should I ask what brought this on?” Illumi said. “Just felt like it. Lay down with me please.” I said lying down in bed. Illumi nodded and lay down beside me. I cuddle up to him putting my head on his chest. “Have you eaten anything today?” Illumi asked. “I’m pregnant Illumi I’m always eating.” I said. “Have you been okay?” Illumi asked. “I’ve been a bit more tired than usual. Can I ask you something?” I said looking up to him. “What is it?” Illumi asked. “Have you seen Chrollo at all?” I asked. “No I haven’t.” Illumi said. “Oh okay.” I said burying my head in his chest. “If you want I could try to find him.” Illumi said. “No it’s okay. I’m okay here. I’m okay here with you.” I said.

Three months later

It’s could be any day now that I could give birth. Illumi told me to stay in bed until I give birth. I was the only one in the mansion besides the butlers. Everyone was away of different missions. I was just hoping not to go into labor until they got back. I heard a knock at the door as the baby started to kick. I got up from the bed and went to open the door. As soon as I got up I felt a pain in my stomach. I double over in pain as I grabbed my stomach. “No. No. No little one. Illumi’s not home.” I said as there was more knocking at the door. I groaned out in pain as I sat down on the bed. “Come in.” I said. The door opened and Chrollo walked in. “What are you doing.” I said as I felt around wave of pain. Chrollo rushed over to my side putting his hand on my knee. “Are you okay?” Chrollo asked. “I think I’m going into labor.” I said. “He got you pregnant.” Chrollo said. I rolled my eyes. “No he didn’t.” I said as I winced again. “Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me.” Chrollo said. “You can’t use nen. If you tried to fight any of the Zoldyck you will die.” I said. “Couldn’t. I couldn’t use Nen. But the troupe fixed me.” Chrollo said. “They did?” I asked. “Yes they did. Come on let’s go everyone misses you.” Chrollo said as he stood up a bit leaning in to kiss me. But I turned away from him. “You can’t do that.” I said. “Did Zoldyck do anything to you?” Chrollo said putting a hand on my cheek. I slowly took it off. “I had to marry Illumi. My parents promised that if Illumi ever brought me back then we could get married.” I said. “Did you tell them that you were already married?” Chrollo asked. “They didn’t care. They forged our divorced papers.” I said. The pain started to get worst making me start to cry. “Can you walk?” Chrollo asked. I shook my head. “It’s okay I’ll carry you.” Chrollo said. “No just leave.” I said. “No I’m not leaving you in this house.” Chrollo said. “If you take me the Zoldyck will know who took me and will come to look for you.” I said. “I don’t care. I can protect you and our child now.” Chrollo said. “It’s that I don’t.” I said but stop when another wave of pain causing me to scream in pain. Then someone burst through the door. Chrollo quickly scooped me up into his arms holding me close to him. I saw Kikyo and Kalluto. This was not going to end well.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

I hate love, but...

Pietro Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Summary: When you and Pietro met, it was right from the get go. However, love has done you wrong before and you have a hard time accepting that Pietro isn’t going to drop you and he’s more than willing to prove you that he’s staying.

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Author’s note: I wrote this in a few hours. I didn’t beta read, I don’t have beta readers to do it for me. Have fun.

Life moves fast with Pietro. He had kissed you when you said yes to a date because he got excited. He ended up in your bed after said date and didn’t leave for about a week. When he finally left, he asked you to be his girlfriend. It wasn’t intended. Pietro was just easily excitable and in touch with his feelings. He knew from the start that you were special but you aren’t as excitable as him. You’ve had your run-ins with love up to the point that it isn’t in the stars for you to end up with a partner. When you said yes to being Pietro’s girlfriend, you were already thinking of a way out that would leave you with the least amount of pain but nothing worked. You tried ghosting him but he’d just be at your door the second he thought you were taking too long to respond. You tried being rude but he chalked it up to you having a bad day and took care of you. You tried to flirt with coworkers to make sure he’d leave before you fell for him but he just swooped you away and asked if you wanted his attention that bad. No, nothing worked and now you’re over the edge. You’re falling and you don’t have a parachute but for the first time in forever, you are not scared of the landing. You’re not even sure if there will be a landing.

Two months in and Pietro spends more time at your place than he does at his room in the compound. When he’s done with work, he’s right at your doorstep. You feel like you’re happier. You know for a fact that you’re smiling more because your cheeks hurt almost every night when you go to sleep. Your hands are never cold because he’s always holding them and your bed is never empty, except for the times you fall asleep on the couch together. ‘Prinţesă?’ Pietro cranes his neck so he can meet your eyes as you sit in your reading chair. For the past hour, he tried to nap while you read. He never accomplishes his mission to nap unless you lay with him but he tries nonetheless. Most times, his napless rest ends up in him overthinking. He often overthinks prior decisions and actions. So, more often than not, Pietro’s napless naps end up in discussions about life or assuring him that he did well in the past. You are prepared to talk to him as you always are. You close your book and lay it on the armrest of your chair. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Hypothetically speaking, would you want to meet my sister if I asked you to?’ ‘If I said yes, would you actually let me meet her?’ A smile appears on his face as he lays back down. ‘She’s already on her way.’ He peeks at you, watching how your face turned from a cocky smile to fear. To be fair, your apartment is a mess and you want to make a good impression. ‘Don’t worry, prinţesă, she’ll love you,’ he assures you, ‘besides, she’s not staying. She’s just bringing over some clothes I left at the tower.’ You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and grin. ‘Clothes hm? I can’t remember asking you to move in,’ you tease him. He motions for you to come over to him. As you get up from your chair, he grabs your hand and yanks you on top of him. You squeal when he does and gently hit his chest while you laugh it off. ‘You didn’t have to ask,’ he tells you, ‘I could tell you wanted me to stay.’ ‘You’re such an asshole,’ you smile and press your lips against his. His arms wrap around your body, holding you steady against him. Your hands move up into his hair. For some reason, they always end up there. His hair is just so soft and fluffy. But the blissful moment is short-lived. The ringing of the doorbell puts a quick end to the whole ordeal as you and Pietro exchange looks. Do you do it or me? ‘I can’t open the door if you’re on top of me,’ he tells you. ‘Oh, so you are going to open the door when I get off,’ you ask as you push yourself up. ‘That wouldn’t be logical because you would already be up,’ he explains to you. ‘Just say you’re lazy.’ ‘I’m lazy.’ You shake your head and get off the couch. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’ ‘You better,’ you warn him as you head over to the door and then it hits you. He wants you to open the door for his sister. How would she know who you were if he didn’t show her or tell her about you? ‘Oh you sly motherfucker,’ you mumble under your breath. Suddenly, you feel his hot breath on your neck. ‘Say that again and I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.’ ‘Your sister is at the door,’ you tell him, ‘you better behave.’ He shrugs and walks back to the couch. ‘She knows how I am. I have nothing to worry about.’ You watch him belly flop onto the couch and finally open the door. There stands a woman who looks nothing like Pietro. She’s shorter, a redhead, and just looks like a total badass. Now you’re kinda intimidated. ‘Hi, I’m so sorry for taking so long,’ you say with a smile. ‘That’s alright. You must be Y/n, right?’ You nod and shake her hand. ‘I’m Wanda. I’ve heard a lot about you.’ Pietro jumps up from the couch. ‘Don’t tell her that,’ he yells at Wanda. ‘Shut up Sonic,’ she snaps back and throws the duffel bag she carried towards him. He catches it with ease but pretends to be hurt by letting out a low grunt and falling back onto the couch. She turns back to you. ‘Can I come in?’ ‘Of course.’ You step aside and watch as Pietro’s face changes. He looks slightly terrified of his sister as she steps inside. ‘What? You’ve been gone for two whole months and I don’t know the girl you’re living with. If you thought I was just going to drop off your clothes and leave, you’re insane,’ she tells him and sits down on your reading chair. ‘Wanda, would you like tea or coffee?’ ‘No, thanks. I’ll be out of your hair soon. I just want to have a small heart-to-heart talk with my brother if you don’t mind.’ ‘Oh, of course.’

A month slowly crept by and Pietro never told you what they discussed in that heart-to-heart talk. All you knew was that Pietro was sulking for a while after Wanda left. You decided to give him space and try not to pry, thinking it was him finally pulling away from you and leaving you to crash from your fall for him. Maybe Wanda made him see you’re not a good candidate to be a girlfriend for a man like him. And yet, it didn’t feel right. ‘Pietro, can we talk?’ You watch the fear flicker behind his eyes as you sit down on the couch next to him. He turns his body so that you are facing each other and nods. You take a deep breath but before you can speak he asks: ‘Are you breaking up with me?’ ‘Wha-what?’ ‘You’ve been so distant and I thought-’ ‘Wait, no, I thought you were going to break up with me.’ He frowns. ‘Why would I do that? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.’ ‘Then why have you been so quiet?’ He doesn’t have a quick answer ready and though his words made your heart swell just a second ago, the silence is chipping away at it. ‘I’m not sure,’ he admits to you, ‘I guess I’ve been thinking more. About where I want this to go.’ ‘Did you figure it out yet?’ He shakes his head. ‘I do know that I want you to meet my family,’ he tells you, ‘the Avengers.’

You never expected you could be this nervous on an elevator. Not because you’re nervous to meet the Avengers. No, because Pietro keeps fiddling and telling you things he’s said a million times by now. ‘Tony has probably already done a background check on you so he’ll have some questions. You’re a woman so you don’t have to worry about intimidation from Captain America but I would worry about Natasha and Clint. They have taken Wanda and me in like they’re our parents. And-’ You press your lips against his and smile. ‘I know. I’ll be fine,’ you promise him and lace your fingers through his, ‘we’ll be fine.’ He smiles and nods confidently. The elevator door opens and you see a few people scattered around a fancy-looking room that has a bag, big cozy couches, a pool table, multiple other places to sit, and floor-to-ceiling windows. And the ceilings are pretty damn high. ‘Wow.’ ‘Ah, thanks, kid.’ You look in front of you to see Tony Stark approaching you. You show him a friendly smile and nod. ‘I’m Tony.’ You shake his hand. ‘Y/n Y/l/n but I’m certain you already knew that.’ ‘I did,’ he admits, ‘and Pietro probably already told you about me.’ You nod. ‘Lucky for you, I don’t have any questions for you. You seem to have a pretty cut and dry life.’ You stifle a laugh and nod. ‘Well, let’s meet the others.’ He offers you his arm but you decline and take Pietro’s arm instead. He nods at the gesture and shows you to the couches. ‘Everyone, this is Y/n Y/l/n, Pietro’s girlfriend,’ Tony announces to the group, ‘that’s Thor, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Natasha, Bruce, and Clint. You already know Wanda, right?’ You nod. After the talk you and Pietro had, Wanda came over again and stayed the night to talk you up to speed with some of the characters living at the compound. Just to prepare you a little. It had just been one day but she was so welcoming. ‘Nice to meet you,’ you say with a timid smile. Pietro shows you to a place to sit. You’re lodged between Wanda and Pietro. ‘So how’d you two meet,’ Natasha asks. ‘Oh, we bumped into each other in the park,’ you tell her, ‘he made me drop my coffee so he told me he’d buy me a new one to make up for it and at the end of the encounter I had his number and he had asked me on a date.’ You leave out the part of the kiss, just in case, Pietro feels a bit strange about it. It was a strange encounter. ‘Ain’t that adorable,’ Natasha grins, ‘first kiss?’ You look at Pietro who shrugs. ‘Does that mean he can’t remember or you don’t want to tell,’ Clint asks you. Wanda chuckles. She knows. She must know. Pietro probably told her. After all, she was the only one who knew about you all this time. ‘Well, I...’ Pietro looks at you again and then at the group. ‘I asked her out and I got a bit excited when she said yes-’ ‘You kissed her right after you asked her out?!’ You have never seen Pietro turn this red. Not even after that first kiss when he realized what he had done. You feel like you have to step in. ‘Just to be clear, I didn’t mind.’ Your eyes meet Pietro’s once again. He smiles back at you and a thought pops into his head. A thought he couldn’t prepare for and one that didn’t leave his mind the whole night. “This is it. This is who I’m meant to be with.”

Your head rests on Pietro’s chest, one arm and one leg thrown over his body, while he traces meaningless patterns on your arm. You’ve had a long day meeting the Avengers and answering all kinds of strange questions. You were glad you had Pietro by your side but as of now, you’re both tired yet unable to sleep. Pietro stares at the ceiling, seemingly deeply lost in thought while you admire his face. From the slight stubble on his chin to the moles and freckles on his skin. You try to memorize all of them. That is until you see him frown. ‘What’s on your mind?’ You ask but you are terrified of the reply. ‘Us.’ ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ He shakes his head and you feel your heart drop but you don’t move away. He has given you no reason to. ‘No, I just want to tell you something.’ You roll onto your stomach and rest your head on your hands, looking up at him as he moves back against the headboard a little so he can look at you while he’s talking. Something in the pit of your stomach is telling you that this is the make-or-break moment in your relationship. He either tells you he loves you now or breaks it off but he’s dragging the silence. He watches your eyes as they stare up at him filled with hope in the dim light of your shared bedroom. Soft moonlight falls through the sheer curtains of your bedroom. He always thought that was adorable, that you didn’t want thick curtains because you enjoyed waking up to sunlight. It’s something he didn’t think he’d enjoy but he does. In fact, almost everything you enjoy, he enjoys. Over just a few months, he learned to take things slow. He learned that he didn’t have to be awake every second of every day, that he didn’t always have to do things fast. You would read to him and he enjoyed it. He was able to really take in the words you read to him instead of rushing through the book like he usually does. Cooking with you is a domestic dream come through. It is never sexual in the kitchen, you take cooking too seriously for that, but the dinner table is a whole different story. And that’s another thing he learned to take slow. Sex. Making love. He never imagined sex and making love would be such different things from each other and with you, he learned that he had never made love before. When he would lay you down on your bed, he would take his time taking in every spot, every crevis, every mark on your body. He takes his sweet time with you and he loves every moment of it. In fact, ‘I love you,’ he states proudly, ‘and I don’t need another few years to figure out that I want a future with you. I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. I want to start a family with you and grow old together… You’re it for me.’ ‘Wow.’ You smile meekly, not quite sure how to respond. This is not at all what you thought he was going to say. ‘I didn’t know you thought about us like that.’ ‘How do you think about us?’ You take a second to think of your response and you watch him getting nervous like you had gotten before he spoke. ‘You know, I used to hate love before I met you,’ you tell him, ‘I had been broken so many times that I thought I would never find someone for me but then you ran into me and there was this spark. I had never felt that before and I was scared it was just me but you proved me time and time again that you felt it too. And I still fear that you might wake up one day and realize that I am not what you thought I was.’ He gently grabs your chin and lowers his face to brush his lips against yours. ‘That will never happen.’ You pull away, leaving him confused and a little scared. ‘I wasn’t done.’ A smile appears on your face. ‘I hate love, but I’ll make an exception for you.’ A bright smile appears on his face as he leans down to press a seething kiss to your lips. ‘I love you.’

Life moves fast with Pietro but you don’t mind.

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 8: Mornings and Neckties

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“Don’t you love me anymore?” Kuroo asks. You cup his cheeks and pull his face closer since he was backing away. There’s sadness in his eyes, anyone can tell that. “You’ve just been so distant lately. I understand that it may be because you’re busy with work, but I don’t know. You just feel different ever since that Yuta guy walked you home.”

“Yuta has nothing to do with this. I told you I stopped talking to him after that night,” you sigh, letting go of his face.

“If it has nothing to do with him, then it must be something else.” Kuroo sits on your desk that is behind him. “What is it love?”

“Let’s talk about it at home.” You try to shrug the topic off but he tugs on your hand, pulling your body to stand in between his legs. The warmth of his hand is contrasting with your cold one.

“I want to talk about it now,” he says as firmly as his hold on your hand. You take a deep breath in before maintaining eye contact with him. Your mouth opens and you don’t even know what you’re saying. All you know is that you’re finally letting out your pent up anger and frustration that is caused by his toxic traits and your unsteady relationship.

What amazes you is how calm Kuroo is. He is listening to every word you’re saying and isn’t showing any foul reaction. His fingers run up and down your forearm to calm you down, abling you to speak properly.

After your final complaint, the room falls silent. Not knowing what to do, you lower your head and tears fall out of your eyes. Kuroo’s hand travel to your lower back, his fingers drawing small circles. You’re getting ready to flee the room because he isn’t saying anything to you. The silence was deafening and hurting your ears. Just when you are about to leave, he speaks.

“I know for a fact that if I apologize, it wouldn’t be enough. I won’t make any excuses and take responsibility for the hurt I’ve caused you. If you want to leave, I won’t force you to stay with me or ask for another chance. But if you do give me a chance, I’ll make sure you don’t regret your choice.”

“If you’re worried about our parents, I can talk to them. You don’t have to suffer from our relationship just to prove that you’re a good daughter.” Kuroo’s arms are wrapped around you. It’s tight. His hold is tight. He’s savoring every moment because this might be the last time he gets to have you in his arms.

Kuroo is acting calm, but deep inside, his heart is shattering and his thoughts are all over the place. He’s trying so hard to choose the right words to tell you. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s okay with letting you go or he’s forcing you to stay. All he wants at the moment is not to be selfish and choose you over his pride.

Kuroo doesn’t believe in gods or anything spiritual, but right now, he’s praying that you choose whatever makes you happy. Of course he hopes that you stay, but your euphoria matters more.

Leaning your head on Kuroo’s shoulder, you cry harder. What makes him think you can leave him? You could have left on the first year of your marriage when he never said a thing to you. You could have left when he said he will never fall in love with you. You could have ran away when you saw him sleep with another girl. You could have ended your relationship when you found out he was in love with Alisa.

You were given all the reasons and chances to leave, but at the end of the day you always choose to stay. Today, as foolish as you can be, you’ll stay again.

“I’ll stay...” you mutter in between cries. “Who’ll fix your necktie before you go to work if we break up?” You try to lighten up the mood and it works since Kuroo chuckles. Your husband plants a long kiss on your temple, eyes closed shut. The tears he had been holding back finally falls, his hold getting tighter.

But you don’t see it. You don’t see how he’s crying for you just like you’re crying for him.

“Thank you for staying.”

——————————————————————————

Your relationship has gotten better ever since the two of you talked. Kuroo wasn’t joking when he said that you won’t regret your choice if you ever stay. He has been nothing but a good spouse to you since that day. Literally, the best out there. Sometimes you wonder if he would’ve become like this, too, if you told him earlier.

Right now, he’s cooking breakfast while you wait at the dining table. You agreed on a rule that the two of you eat together as much as possible. If his lunch breaks allow, he comes to your office just to eat with you. He even brings desserts for your coworkers.

Kuroo has also implied that he drives you to your workplace everyday, and he fetches you wherever you are at whatever time. You got off work at 2AM? Kuroo’s still picking you up. You have an event that ends at 5AM? He will wake up just to make sure you get home.

Your husband doesn’t forget to bring you flowers, too. Sometimes it’s a big bouquet, some other days it’s a single stem. It’s a different flower every day since “it all has different meanings.” Red Camellias because “you are the flame in my heart. White Clovers because he wants you to think of him and him alone. Yellow Jasmines because he said and you quote, “you are grace. You are elegant. Be the Jasmine to my Aladdin.”

Others will think that it’s overbearing, but you don’t mind at all. You love seeing the tall man wrapped around your tiny finger. You are happy to see the real him. The dorky, caring, competitive Kuroo Tetsuro.

“What do you want to eat for lunch later?” Kuroo asks you as the two of you start eating your first meal of the day. “I only have a half day today, so I have time to buy lunch.”

“You.”

“You’re getting bolder each day,” Kuroo chuckles at your teasing remark. “Do you have plans after work?”

“I have to buy something at the mall. And then maybe we can eat dinner at that restaurant your sister recommended.”

The two of you eat and then prepare for work together. Every morning, you share the mirror and laugh at each other’s faces while you brush your teeth. You make fun of his hair and attempt to put it down, but of course it doesn’t. He chooses your blush and lipstick and applies it on you. Those are all part of your new morning routine. But it doesn’t end there.

“I’m starting to think you’re purposely tying your necktie the wrong way so I can fix it,” you point out as the two of you stand in front of each other at the doorway, your fingers skillfully fixing the grey textured tie that matched his black suit.

“Maybe I am,” he answers, and you don’t see the playful smirk plastered on his face because you were too busy on fixing the garment. Even with heels on, you’re still shorter than him. And Kuroo loves that fact. He loves how he can see your brows furrow in seriousness. He loves the way your fingers move. He loves the domestic feeling the moment is exerting. Aside from seeing your face first thing in the morning, this is his favorite part of the morning.

“And it’s done.” You slide your palms over his shoulders and chest, flattening the creases of his suit. Your hands stop on his shoulders and you look up to him, smiling proudly. Kuroo leans down for a kiss which you gladly accepted.

Kuroo pulls back, but his hands are still on your hips, not allowing you to move away from him. “Thank you,” he tells as he stares at your face as if he is gazing at the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

“What?” Unused to his stare, you giggle out of confusion. But he continues to stare. “If you’re just gonna stare at me, we’re both gonna be late for work.”

Kuroo doesn’t say anything and leans back again to peck on the side of your mouth, barely touching your lips. Then, he proceeds to kiss your cheek. After that, he nibbles on your jaw. Next, his lips travel down to your neck and he gives a short but sensual kiss on the skin. His slowly graze from your neck going all the way to the back of your ear.

Meanwhile, your knees are getting weak and your brain is steaming inside. Your cheeks are burning up and you can feel the whole zoo in your stomach. He has that much impact on you. ‘This is too much for a Wednesday morning.’

You’re back to your senses when he plants one last kiss on the back of your ear before his breath fans over it.

“I love you,” Kuroo whispers.

——————————————————————————

Facts:

The tiger in the Aladdin film, Rajah, was originally a circus tiger as a cub, who found his way into the Sultan's palace after escaping the touring circus group during a visit to Agrabah. He was discovered by a then-young Princess Jasmine, who assumed the cub was a gift from her deceased mother.

Neckties were not originally used for the sense of fashion; they were so thick that not even a strong sword could penetrate it.

Neckties are the most famous gift given on Father’s Day

Those who collect ties are known as grabatologists

There are 177,147 ways in which you can tie and necktie.

It takes approximately 110 silk worms to make one high quality silk necktie.

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[namjoonswifey99]

What The Heart Wants Pt.6

Billy Hargrove X Reader

Warnings : Cursing , Bullying , Harassment , Billy being Billy 

Author Note: Hope You Enjoy This Chapter and I apologize this was supposed to be out but ive going though a rough patch with my family so i hope you understand.

Billy walked over to Y/N and Max; he couldn't help but overhear Susan talking to the police.

“ Sir please i just want my little girl I don't do anything else but her.” Susan says trying to calm her breathing from crying so much

“ Ma'am, your daughter stated she wants to go with her step brother and his girlfriend. We are gonna have to take you downtown for questioning. This isn't the first time Mrs.Hargrove.”  Officer Powell asked why detaining her.

Susan started to protest but saw that was Max was looking at her and stopped and held her head down and started walking with the officer.

“ I'm so sorry you guys had to see that, that wasn't what I was going for, I just wanted to get our stuff so we can move in.” Billy says looking sad he never wanted Max or Y/N to see that side again. Billy then looks towards Will who was just wide eyed.

“ Hey Will right i'm sorry you had to see that I truly didn't mean for you to see that.” Billy says with an apologetic look. Will looks up at Billy, surprised by the story Jonathan and Max told him.  He doesn't seem so bad hopefully they can be friends

“

“ It's okay Billy i understand”. Will says, accepting his apology. 

Y/N then runs up and pulls Billy into a hug and just embraces him Y/N was so proud of Billy he finally stood up against his father. “ im super proud of you baby” Y/N says kissing Billy’s cheek 

Hopper looked at the two teenagers and smiled. It was rare for guys like Billy. He's honestly happy that he has this chance to make his life right with the right people by his side. 

“ Come one let’s get some more stuff out the house and go to Y/N place” Billy says while getting his key from Y/N . “ Yessss so i can more stuff then i intended” Max says while shouting in excitement to bring more of her things. “ Well as long as it fits in the car we'll just get a truck to move it”. Billy says while correcting Max he doesn't want his car to be too crowded. “ You guys don’t need a bed or dressers. My parents got you guys covered with bedding just more clothes and stuff you can fit”. Y/N says while fixing the trunk to make room.

----- 1 Hour Later----

After an hour later they arrived at Y/N house. Her and Billy explained what happened at his fathers house . Y/N and Billy starts to explain what had happened down at his fathers house and how he was gonna move forward to have sole custody of Max and to be filed down as independent. 

“ That’s a very good plan Billy and you know you and Max can still for however long you like it’s no problem to us you were already family from the beginning” Y/N mother Angelina says while putting the cookies in the oven. 

“ I agree with my wife you can stay however long you like” Y/N father Tremaine says while putting the sodas in the freezer. 

“ we definitely appreciate the love and roof you're giving me and max I won’t let you down” Billy says while looking at them. 

“ You don’t have to prove anything baby, we love you just the way you are flaws and all “ Y/ N says as she looks at Billy with full love in the eyes.

“ BABY” Both of Y/N parents shouted at the same time. 

“ Ummmmm yea as of today me and Billy are together “Y/N says while looking down shyly. To shy look at her parents reaction. 

“ Ha I knew it Tre you owe me 40$ bucks” Angelina says happily she knew they was gonna get together 

“ Man you guys couldn’t wait till next week I could’ve had extra money” Tre says pulling out the 40 dollars to hand to his wife. 

“ You are not mad about us” Billy says confused because growing with a dad like his a relationship between him and Y/N would be frowned upon. 

“ never we don’t care as long as you live and respect our daughter that’s all that matters” Tremaine says to Billy while tenderly holding Angelina to him. 

Y/N was about to say something when the doorbell rang, she gets up to ask who it was when a familiar voice called out. 

“ Y/ N your favorite person in the whole wide world is here “ 

“ No I’m Y/N favorite you can ask her herself” 

“ No Y/N loves me more she makes me more food than any of you” 

“ Well Y/N be at my house almost every other day with my sister so I get to see her more than any of you” 

Y/N knew right there it was the rest of her miniature best friends. 

“ Well all you are wrong Y/N loves me more and I’m living with her” Max says with a smug look on her face as Y/N opens the door. 

On her porch stands Lucas , Dustin , Eleven, and Mike with Steve standing behind them. 

After Max’s statement chaos was issued.

“ What no way, no fair” Dustin whines in disbelief. 

“ Yea what Dustin said , How come max stays” Lucas says while looking offended. 

“ Well it’s easier for you doofus . She like me more” Max says sticking her tongue out at the boys. 

“ That means we can have all the sleepovers and waffles we want” Eleven says with a bright smile on her face. 

“ Okay now listen I love you all the same your all my favorites I can’t just choose one��. Y/N says trying to mediate the situation. 

“ What about me guys? I can be as cool as Y/N” Steve said with a cocky grin. 

The group just all stared at him. 

“ No offense Steve buddy but Y/N waaaaaaayyy more cooler than you by a landslide”. Mike says. 

Before Steve can retort, Billy comes to the door to see what’s taking so long and notices Steve and gives him an annoyed look. There’s one thing Billy is a lot of but he doesn’t put his hand on women. He may be an asshole and a bully but he’s no woman beater. 

Y/N felt the tension before Steve face gave it away.  Before a fight can escalate she steps in. 

“ Okay so I got 4 movies picked out then we can go to the bonus room and play some board games and before you even ask Dustin and Lucas yes I did make you guys favorite dessert”. Y/N says while ushering the kids inside the house. 

Before Steve can ask why Billy was there Y/N comes back out. 

“ Thanks for dropping the kids off for Hopper I’ll call him when it’s time to come get them, '' Y/N says with a kind smile. 

“ Uhh yeah no problem anytime” Steve says, stuttering, he wanted to apologize for his actions earlier but with Billy right there he’ll never get the chance. 

Y/N turns to leave when she notices Billy still staring down at Steve so she grabs him by the back of his shirt and pulls him in the house. 

The kids were all in the living room trying to decide which movie they’re gonna watch. 

“ Baby look at me” Y/N says, grabbing Billy’s face so he’s looking directly at her. 

“ baby you’ve changed for the better don’t let what today put you down you know I’m right here by your side every step of the way” Y/N says while looking him in the eye so he can see she really meant what she’s saying. 

“ I know baby it’s just I want them to know I’ve changed. I got my second chance at life and to do what is right and I couldn’t have done it with you my sweet angel by my side” Billy says lovingly to Y/N. 

The chemistry between Y/N and Billy is unmatched for the simple fact when it was him against the world Y/N was by his side and he will never take that for granted him and Y/N connection is way deeper than anybody can imagine. 

Y/N just continued to look at him with so much adoration in her eyes. 

“ Okay love birds we chose the movie we’re waiting on you guys now”. Max says with an eye roll. 

Y/N and Billy walked into the living room but not before Y/N leaned down and whispered in Max’s ear. 

“ don’t worry max I have a grand plan for Lucas”. Y/N says walking away with a small grin on her face. Leaving a blushing max in her wake. 

— 2 Hours Later —-

After the movie ended Y/N looked over at the clock and noticed it was 7:40. It looks like they only have time for one game before she has to call Hopper. 

“ So I have guys listen up, it's a little late so we have time for one more movie or game whatever you guys decide”. Y/N says while pulling out the games from the chest. 

After about 5 minutes they decided on watching another movie before they left. 

“ So Max I heard there’s this boy whose been crushing on you for a while” Y/N says teasingly. Y/N signaled for Max to play along if one thing Y/N knows about men is that they’re extremely possessive no matter what age. 

“ Yea and I like him back hopefully he asks me to the dance” Max says with a blush on her face. 

Y/N notices from the corner of her eye that Lucas is not taking what they said well which means her plan is going accordingly. 

“ if you need my help with getting him to ask you I’ll definitely do it” Y/N says eagerly. 

Before Max can let out her response Lucas stands up and takes her and says. 

“ Would you do me the honor of my date for the winter formal?” Lucas says while looking so nervous. 

 Max pretends to think about it which makes him start sweating. More than he already was. 

“ Yes doofus of course I’ll go with you” Max says with a smile. 

Y/N was happy for Max she got what she wanted but Billy on the other hand was not so ecstatic. Y/N looked over and saw Billy with a scowl on his face. 

“ what’s wrong”.Y/N asked. 

“ Don’t you think it’s to soon for them” Billy says with a pout on his face. 

“ Awwww his the big brother feeling protective” Y/N responds teasingly. 

Billy kisses his teeth at her statement. 

“ No” was Billys only response. 

“ awww baby it’s okay it just a school dance they’ll be fine” Y/N says while kissing his cheek. 

“……. Fine but I don’t like it”. Billy says to Y/N. 

Y/N laughs wholeheartedly. He was just so precious and cute when he’s worried. 

The kids looked over at them when they heard Y/N they looked at her like she was crazy but left it alone.She was alway like that with Billy.

“ Okay kids get your stuff ready I’m going to call Hopper”. Y/N says while getting up and grabbing the house phone. 

After a while Hopper picks up. 

“ Hey Hopper the kids are ready” 

“ Umm about that I’m stuck at work and I already called their parents to see if it was okay for them to stay” 

“ What did they say”

“ Well they wasn’t to keen on Billy living there but since they trust you they allowed them to stay” 

“Okay that’s great I do have extra clothes for them especially when they stayed here during the you-know-what.” 

“ That’s great do you also think you can drop them off at school or call somebody to help” 

“ No it’s okay I’ll ask my mom in the Morning to take the kids she’ll be happy to” 

“ Okay that’s great Y/N I’ll pick up Eleven after school so will the parents except Dustin he’s going with Steve” 

“ Geats I’ll let the kids and my parents know have a good night Hopper” 

“ You Y/N Bye”

“Bye” 

 Y/N hangs up and goes back to the living room to tell the kids. 

“ Okay guys put your stuff away your spending the night here and Billy and my mom will drop you off in the morning” Y/N says while getting the extra blankets and pillows out. 

“ Yesssss Y/ N you're officially the best ever”  Max says with excitement that her friends get to stay.  

“ Well I try my best but you should really thank Hopper. He's staying overtime at work,  so Max and Eleven are rooming in Max’s room , Boys you’ll be bunking with Billy”.  Y/N  says while taking them upstairs. 

“ Actually you guys can get my room. I'll bunk with Y/N just don’t touch any of my things”. Billy says while staring them down. 

“ Billy now my parents love you and all but they will literally kill us if they find us in bed together”. Y/N says wagging her finger in a no motion. 

“ We can leave the door open, I just want to spend time with you and cuddle” Billy says while wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her closer to him.

“ It stays wide open Billy im not playing with you” Y/N says while mugging him because she was not gonna die over this man even though she do love him her parents were a different story.

“ I understand baby i promise” Billy says while sealing their lips together in a nice passion lip lock.

[akirosama777]

If nothing brings me joy and I always feel quite hollow, does that mean I've died inside already because I refused to follow...

Every person in the world who seems to skate, to flutter by... while the music fills my hollow ears and bleeds from glassy eyes?

Am I worth the amount of energy that I never seem to have, while the mother I once called a friend goes out to poison herself and die?

And I stand here in the bleakness of a hollow, brittle world, while I pick up all of the pieces that she left when she unfurled...

I am broken and I'm bleeding... I have nothing left to give, but the love I'd once begun to give, and barely alive to live.

I was beautiful once... I had a dream... had a goal or two in mind... but I'm sitting here in the broken wake that her destruction left behind.

But it began way before my time, began with a little girl... my mom... and her grandpa, such a piece shit, let's called the bastard, "Tom,"

Took from her, her innocence, shattered her life apart, sent her down a road of agony, and her father killed her heart.

When he sent her far away at the behest of a beastly cunt, sent her to a boarding school, a common parental stunt.

And her life began at 11 when she'd had it all ripped away, sent her down that road of agony in blood and tears was paved.

Then at 16 she met a Jewish man, who with her had his way, then abandoned her with two children on one fateful Christmas day...

But she picked up the pieces, worked 3 jobs, she became addicted to a couple of drugs... met my father in a satanic band, acting like a thug.

So when she fell in love with him, got him to change his ways, both of them kicked the drugs they'd started and set out on another day...

She soon became again pregnant with my father's first born son, and he tried to kill the baby, with a doctor... not a gun...

Told her if she loved him badly, loved him half as much as she'd said, that she'd abort that fetus and remove its tiny head.

But she didnt... and he stayed... later giving birth to me... but that's not the last of her children... I was only number three.

Then as I grew he would abuse me, threaten, beat and apparently molest... then she had my little brother but he'd never face these tests...

As I began to mature and grow, I could see the patterns form, and my mind became a labyrinth as the alters would soon be born.

And at 6 I tried to end it... but my little brother was there... just one of the many treasures that kept me from joining the City of Air.

And he saved me... I don't know why, but he removed the chord I would choose... saved me from my madness as the alters began to fuse.

All the while my mother from her past she'd grown quite numb... and my father kept her helpless, kept her silent... kept her dumb.

My older brother fell to drugs and disappeared one day... right around the time, eleven I think, where I realized I'm gay...

And my sister fell to young love, to a man who started fires... and my mother fell to drinking when the divorce set forth in ire...

Sent my sister too to heroin and my mother to her dark, while my brother depended greatly on my ability to endure the harsh...

So I shouldered all that hatred... shouldered all the pain inside... let the alters guide me forward through the labyrinth in my mind.

I pushed forward for my brother until my little sister was born... as my mother found another man who left her completely forlorn.

And another life depended on the strength I'd come to own... after all the pain of a father, who's approval was never shown.

I was broken, I was bleeding, I was yearning for a hand... never found it... never searched, for on my own I had to stand.

Now my brother... little brother, grown and turned into a guy, who too had shouldered pain and suffering likely due to mine.

And my sister, little sister, worst of all had witnessed decay... and was tortured by a mother who'd been through so much hate and pain...

But im here now... for my sisters... for my brothers best I can... all five of me are standing and I've grown into a man...

But I'm broken... fuck... im broken... and my mother now she's gone... left my darling little sister on a strangers dying lawn.

And I'm picking up the pieces... trying so hard to hold me up... trying so hard to remember but the memories are scuffed.

Yeah this story's probably cliche... im sure you've all heard it once before... heard about a broken persona raped and bloodied on the floor...

Yeah, you've probably already heard it... probably seen it on a show... nothing shocks you people anymore, when it's something you already know.

I'm so certain that it's pointless to write these words and cry... while my mothers out there drugging and likely about to die.

And my sister... my poor little sister... all those years I tried to protect... will soon be here to visit this pathetic, broken mess...

And I'm trying to keep it together... to tell the alters to quiet down... in my brief and silent lucidity in a new and peaceful town...

And despite my anger... sadness... despite the insidious voice of pain... I understand why mother did it... though I know it doesn't explain...

But her life was so much harder... she'd had so much love to give... but the entire world around her let her run into their shivs.

So she tried her best at surviving, passed those lessons on to us... taught us how to keep on fighting but never how to trust.

Now I'm married... and I love him... but I'm broken, hurting, mad... at the life they gave my mother and that treatment from my dad.

I'm so full of rage and agony... so full of hope and full of pain... that's why I can't get to healing... why I cry whenever it rains.

And she's missing... my mothers missing... a person who never could refrain... She went out to numb the agony, the voices in her brain.

And... I empathize. I sympathize... I understand those thoughts... im still fighting... im still trying... Im still battling... distraught...

For my sisters and my brothers I have never touched a drug... for my sisters and my brothers I have never said no to a hug.

For my sisters and my brothers I am fighting yet, so hard... to keep my head above the water and stay away from all the shards...

I won't cut myself again... I won't try suicide to commit. I won't do again what I'd tried to do at least five times... maybe six.

For my father I'll keep fighting... I'll keep being a better man... prove him wrong and keep on going... on his grave I'll one day stand.

For my family that was broken... I'll keep searching for our mom... I'll keep hoping she'll find solace deep within her sorrowful song.

Mom if you're out there somewhere breathing, just know I understand and care... Im still your standing pillar, still your darling baby bear...

For my little sister Anna and for Justin im still here... I'll do my best to outlive them and watch them live out all their years...

I will never let this agony... from my health or lack there of... push me down to join the army of the defeated by the drugs.

I will never let this anger, let this rage or let this pain, push me to the point again where I grow more alters in my brain.

I'll keep fighting for my dogs... keep on fighting for my man. Keep on fighting for my sisters... and for my brother's I will stand.

[erazonpo3]

WOWM

so What Once Was Mine came out and I read it.

My General Thoughts are that this book was something of a rollercoaster but in like a pop up carnival with dubious safety regulations and diseases in the DIY log flume water kind of way. I had some fun reading it but I also feel like I picked up a rash.

If you're like me and you enjoy picking a book apart for morsels of interesting concepts then you might enjoy it, if you think holy shit why the fuck is a literal real historical serial killer in this book I need to see this then you might enjoy it, if you care about engaging plots and character beats then you probably won't.

If you want to ask me anything specific go ahead, but otherwise for more in depth thoughts: spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of the Plot

Okay so here's the deal. The story has the framing device of two siblings in a cancer ward, where one tells the other a story. I'll get into that later, but that's how it starts. Our actual story starts with a pretty long prologue: We learn that the King & Queen got the Moonflower thinking it was the Sunflower, Rapunzel was born with silver hair, and then baby Rapunzel kills a maid who accidentally hurt her when brushing her hair.

Oh, by the way, Max is a human man named Justin Tregsburg. Yeah.

Anyway, the royal family puts out feelers for legit witches who can safely take care of Rapunzel because the baby is too dangerous, and Gothel shows up to take her away. Queen Arianna visits Rapunzel once (but is only allowed to watch through a peephole) and decides watching another woman raise her child is too painful and throws herself into restoring the kingdom's orphanages instead.

Now we're in the present. Rapunzel is nineteen and she wants to go and see the lanterns (a mourning tradition of the Dead princess in this story). She tries to argue with Gothel but gets shut down, and Gothel makes her kill a chicken to prove the point that she can't go outside because she's too dangerous. However we as the audience already know Gothel plans to sell Rapunzel off as a bride or a servant or a weapon to some other nobles, because she's evil.

Also by the way Gothel still has access to our Sundrop Flower and is using it to live forever that's just a thing that happens in the background.

When Gothel is gone Rapunzel watches as a man (Flynn) stores a satchel in a tree outside of her tower, and that motivates her to leave the tower for the first time. Then she goes back inside the tower with her prize of a crown, and a skink she found and named Pascal. Rapunezl and Gothel have another spat, and Rapunzel decides she will run off to see the lanterns and she will find Flynn and make him her guide.

She ends up at the Snuggly Duckling and she doesn't find Flynn but she does find Gina, a young career criminal girl looking to break the glass ceiling. Gina agrees to help her find Flynn. They find Flynn, and he agrees to help guide Rapunzel to see the floating lanterns for a split reward of the crown with Gina.

The Snuggly Duckling gets burned down by Countess Bathory (yes that Elizabeth Bathory) and the Pub Thugs are pissed about it and also they're helping Rapunzel even though she didn't sing the I've Got A Dream song don't worry about it. We learn that the nobles that wanted to buy Rapunzel are now hunting her down so she can go to auction.

Gina takes them to her adopted mother's cottage. Gina's mother is a white witch, who goes by the name of Goodwife. She doesn't get an actual name she's just The Goodwife. Anyhow, the cottage is a magic safe space (for now) and Goodwife teaches Rapunzel that her hair isn't inherently evil and may not even be all that deadly! Rapunzel learns that her hair has other powers too, like the ability to turn skink Pascal into a sentient Chameleon. Yeah.

Also Goodwife tells Rapunzel she's the dead princess but this isn't like, an immediate call to action. Not a lot happens until we get this story's version of the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Gothel finds Rapunzel again but has to flee, but this Rapunzel has a bigger support network and isn't buying it. Flynn and Gina decide the safest course of action is to bring Rapunzel to the castle, but along the way she gets kidnapped by the Countess.

Gothel is pissed because she still wants the money for Rapunzel, so she rallies the armies of all the opposing bidders. Flynn and Gina convince Max the Man to send for his troops, and he joins them in going to the enemy castle. Flynn tries to sneak in, gets caught, and meanwhile there's a bloody battle out the front between the noble armies. Max jumps into the fray, Gina turns around and rallies the Pub Thugs.

Rapunzel uses her shrinking magic (!) to disappear half the castle and escape with Eugene, and the Pub Thugs arrive and basically end the battle. The Captain is dying but it's okay! Rapunzel turns him into a horse :) Also Rapunzel sees Gothel and tells her to fuck off.

The story ends with a tearful reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, Eugene and Gina are implied to be biological siblings, and things are good but of course in direct parallel to Cass Gina leaves at the end to become an adventurer. The end.

(There are a few other smaller plot beats, but you get the idea.)

MY THOTS

So here are my thoughts™.

Framing Device

I'll just state that I didn't like that the story was told via the vehicle of an older brother telling his 16 year old sister a different version of the Tangled Movie in a cancer ward. From what I've heard it also isn't normal for the Twisted Tales series to use a framing device for the AUs either.

I sympathise with the author's personal story, of course I do. That doesn't mean I'm stirred with compassion every time the flow of the story is interrupted to remind you to be sad because this is a story being told to a girl sick with cancer. It feels more than a little tragedy-porny rather than emotionally touching, and maybe that's because I'm too burnt out on real life tragedy to waste emotional energy on fictional cancer patients but we don't need to do Fault In Our Stars discourse again.

Real World References

This story goes heavy with Real World references. And another issue with the framing device as above is that you do feel like this is a story being told by someone namedropping every historical figure they know which makes it harder to get into the story.

There's like... a lot of references to Christianity, particularly in the prologue. There's a priest that thinks Rapunzel's hair is the work of the Devil or whatever. It's a lot. The Patriarchy is a thing. And that's not even getting into the Countess. I put it very succinctly in my notes so I'll paste it here:

I wish she’d just been an OC who could exist to chew scenery because the fact that she was a literal historical serial killer is super. Off putting. Like, she could have been an obvious reference to Bathory, but it feels like Miku Binder Hamilton levels of uncomfortable to me.

I miss Lady D.

Which basically sums up my problem with trying to take the setting of Tangled and put it somewhere in the Real World and somewhere on the Timeline. Who thought this was a good idea.

Misc. Thoughts

So, I used the five highlighter colours my ipad allows to organise my thoughts and organised them accordingly: Yellow for out of place IRL references, Blue for worldbuilding/character points that aren't plot relevant but still interesting, Pink for when something I find personally amusing happens, Purple for when the story feels like it's trying to 1-up the movie in some kind of way and Green for Heterosexual Nonsense. I'll touch on those last two in the Character sections but be prepared.

Also: for a book about giving Rapunzel killer hair, her hair isn't very dangerous. I wanted to see Rapunzel kill someone, and I'm disappointed that I didn't.

Characters

I'll do a deep dive into my thoughts about the characters before wrapping it up. I'm starting with Gina because she's honestly the easiest to get through.

Gina

Gina is a new character introduced for the story. She's a young woman trying to make it as a career criminal but keeps hitting that glass ceiling. So here's the down low, for all those who want to know: Gina is basically Cass, only not really. She's implied to be Eugene's biological sister, as previously mentioned, but you can imagine she's Cass the entire way through without breaking your immersion because if you imagined Cass if she were adopted by a Goodwitch rather than the Captain and had a looser, more wilderness survivor than trainee guard upbringing then you get Gina.

I liked Gina! I think she's fun as her own character too, and her best moments are when she's interacting with her mother Goody Goodwife, and she of course picks up a natural sibling rivalry with Eugene, but I was disappointed with how little she really bonded with Rapunzel because she needed to make room for Eugene and Rapunzel's romance.

Rapunzel

Okay, here's our protagonist. There's a notable effort to make Rapunzel more active in her destiny and whatever, and sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. I was worried they'd try to go full butt-kicking girlboss with her but I was pleasantly surprised that Rapunzel was pretty useless in most scenes, genuinely love to see it.

With a more intimate look into Rapunzel's psyche through the medium of prose, we see Rapunzel really questioning Gothel's behaviour even before she leaves the tower, and while I appreciate that she can develop her own cynicism I feel it starts unnecessarily early. This is my purple colour; the movie needs to be "fixed" by showing the readers that this Rapunzel is quicker to distrust Gothel. She's also quicker to hatch a plan to go outside of the tower on her own, and she makes a plan to make Flynn her guide for the lanterns even though he never stumbles upon her in the tower- and even though she has a perfectly rational reason not to trust him which is that he is a stranger and a Wanted Thief.

In the moments where it does work is when Rapunzel is surrounded by her new support network: Flynn, Goodwife and Gina, who encourage her to question Gothel's sincerity, and Rapunzel comes up with her own defences for Gothel so that she can poke through them herself.

I have some other thoughts about Rapunzel's hair and her powers, like how the story provides the interesting concept that her hair gets different powers with the different phases of the moon, but a lot of the powers are uhhh stupid and also I feel like it really robs the story of the whole gripping conflict of "Yes I'm Rapunzel Yes my hair kills people what of it".

In as far as just Rapunzel herself though, she still felt pretty in character nonetheless, and maybe that's all I can ask.

Flynn Rider / Eugene Fitzherbert

My boy I am so sorry. They neutered my boy.

Long story short: Eugene in this story is the sexy lamp. He contributes nothing to the plot except to be there for Rapunzel to drool over. And of course because he won't get any character development, he starts from the very beginning as a sweet soft boi with none of the Flynn Rider characterisation from the movie because we don't have time for that, he needs to be husband material stat.

His whole character is the colour green for Heterosexual Nonsense.

So, here's the problem. In the movie, there's not a lot of time for ~friendship~ between Rapunzel and Eugene because they kind of immediately see each other as a romantic prospect. And whatever, it's a movie and there's only so much time. But this book had the opportunity to take things a bit slower and instead chooses to make Rapunzel get jealous whenever Eugene and Gina interact and for her to be constantly wishing he was holding her hand.

Say what you will about Lost Lagoon, but it tells a good romance story just by virtue of not intending to be a romance story, because the author is trying to convey a strong bond between Rapunzel and Cassandra without using "and they kiss" as a cheatcode. What Once Was Mine says "he was a boy, she was a girl, could it be any more obvious?" and leaves it at that.

Now as for how this all pertains to Eugene's character? Well, it just robs him of any flavour. In the movie there's a clear distinction between Flynn and Eugene, when we learn Eugene's real name about halfway through. We see a clear difference between the Flynn we knew- kind of an asshole, wanated to drop Rapunzel off at the Snuggly Duckling and get rid of her- and Eugene, who is sincere and chooses Rapunzel as his New Dream in opposition to his Old Dream of living alone on an island with a bunch of money.

This version of Eugene is basically Eugene all the way through, because the plot doesn't really need Eugene there but he has to be there because it's a Tangled AU so there's no Rapunzel rescuing Flynn from the guards and healing his hand scene, he just loves her immediately and that's that. They have a little spat at one point but it's cleared up later and not because they actually communicate but because they kiss.

Rapunzel only learns Eugene's real name at the very end of the story, and gives a speech about how Eugene is the real him, but it's just so flat because 'Flynn' has been sincere this whole time? Anyway he does nothing of value for the entire story except be there for Rapunzel to lust after. Eugene I'm so sorry.

Gothel

Gothel's sort of the Big Bad and is characterised as an abusive asshole, the usual. I wish there were a bit more nuance to her character but then again in this story she's not just being passively evil- taking care of Rapunzel for selfish reasons but nevertheless maintaining the status quo- she's being actively evil in trying to sell Rapunzel off.

It's notably funny that Gothel sees the Countess Bathory and is like "what the fuck".

Anyway Gothel in this story also feels very weak in part because this Rapunzel is more critical and in part because this Rapunzel has a new support network. It's for that reason the Mother Knows Best Reprise scene doesn't really work, because the original has Gothel pit Rapunzel against Eugene, whereas she can't do that here so it remains a Gothel vs Rapunzel thing.

She gets a boring death as an epilogue addendum that someone rips out the Sundrop flower, which tbh? lame. It would be a lot more fun if it were open ended but I am also preferential to Rapunzel actually using her killer hair to kill someone. Please

Captain Justin Tregsburg

It's Max. He was a human but then he got turned into a horse. what the fuck you guys

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this series ❤️ I’ve had so much fun writing this and am very proud of and excited for it, I can’t wait to see how people react to this. Um I know there are plenty of warnings for a first chapter, but I promise it’s not as depressing as it sounds. It’s just that this story can deal with heavy stuff sometimes, so I just wanna let you know that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, death, sexual assault and mental illness

Word Count: 3194

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One: Hi, My Name Is

“So, what was your time in Pennsylvania like?”

“Uh… I’d have to say it was the best… and worst time of my life.”

“Best and worst, huh? Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well, I, uh… I mean, I don’t really know how to, like… explain it. It’s a lot. I don’t even know where to begin… Or how I would even word it or anything.”

“Well, you told me you like television and movies, right? You know those shows and movies where the main character tells the plot as, like, their life story? Maybe you could try that.”

“You aren’t… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“You’ll know when I’m joking, trust me.”

“Oh… Okay, then. Well, um…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi? My name is… (Y/N)? This is my life story, I guess.

So, if we’re going to talk about my life in Pennsylvania, we’re going to have to start with my life in Kansas, first. I had two loving parents that soon turned into one at the too-young age of nine years, when my mom died. I remember her as one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. She had this way about her that was so carefree, yet she gave a shit about everything. You could never pin a thought to her because she never let you in on what was bouncing around in her head. She was stubborn and patient and lively. I miss her so much. I don’t usually think about her unless it’s a particularly hectic day, which I then resort to talking to the ring I wear on my left pinky finger at all times. Wasn’t anything special, just some cheap ring with a little emerald inside she found at a thrift store. It used to be hers and she’d wear it on the exact same finger. My dad said she’d want me to have it.

My dad is my favorite person. He isn’t the most… present, though. His mind is never set in one place, always racing with hundreds of unrelated thoughts. It’s why when you finally drag him back into reality, he can’t repeat a single sentence spoken to him. Regardless, he’s all I had for a long time. I never really learned what he does for a living, but I just know that it forces him to leave town sometimes. Well, more like all the time. Before my mom died, it was easy for him to leave for weeks on end, but when he became my only guardian, he didn’t really know what to do with me. It was like he completely forgot how to take care of a child, his child. When I turned twelve, that was when he started travelling again. I would then be home by myself for a month to eight weeks. In these times, I had no choice but to learn to cook for myself, go grocery shopping and housekeep. I became pretty independent at a young age. It wasn’t like Dad left me totally alone, though. He would call every two or three days and he sent me two hundred dollars every two weeks. Like I said, I don’t know what my dad did, but he was definitely getting paid. At the end of eighth grade, Dad had a particularly long trip to go on, so he sent me to Pennsylvania, where his sister lived.

Pennsylvania was partially the best part of my life because of my family. My Aunt Pam was like a second mother to me. She was never able to have another child after my cousin Jacob and she’s always wanted a daughter of her own, so that’s what I was to her. The daughter she could never have. I’d often find her staring at me with a bittersweet smile on her face, watching my every move with a sense of pride, but when I’d ask her what was wrong she’d only brush it off as her admiring me. My Uncle David didn’t necessarily view me as a daughter, but he certainly treated me like one. When he wanted to spend time with Jacob, he included me as well. We’d usually go on drives around the town, but I always fell asleep to the soft and serene music that filled the car from the radio. On the weekends, we would head down by the lake and spend hours learning to fish.

I hated it, but I couldn’t complain. It gave me a sense of certainty to live with a father figure who didn’t leave me alone every two or three months.

Jacob was like a brother to me. He’s a year older than me, which, to him, meant that he had to protect me at all costs. I always assumed it was because he always wanted a younger sibling, and I was the closest he was ever going to get to that. I always felt as though I’d never be able to equal Jacob on an intellectual level because he practically had the IQ of Albert Einstein himself. I felt inferior to him until I found out how much of a joy he really was. On the weekends, he would beg me to accompany him in a movie marathon. I learned that Jacob was a huge fan of Tim Burton (his favorite was Beetlejuice). He’s the only cousin I’ve ever known. Mom and Dad didn’t like each other’s families, so I never met anyone besides this little family. Moving in with them meant that they’d have this huge burden on them.

Yes, I almost forgot to mention that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. It just means that my mind is flooded with these crazy and unnecessary thoughts and so my behavior is affected by them. For example, if I were to blink and felt I put more pressure on my left eye than my right, I would have to repeatedly wink with my right eye until they felt balanced. Sometimes I can’t enter a room until I have inhaled eight times. If I scratch an itch on my left knee, I have to scratch the right one in the exact same place. At the sink, even if I don’t use both knobs, I have to hold both in my hands. And when I turn them off, I often have to check about four times before I am certain they’re turned off all the way. I know, it sounds tiring. Just imagine being on my end, having it be a part of who you are. I can’t do anything to stop it, I wish I could. I was always afraid to make friends because of this. If I couldn’t be balanced, I’d freeze, and I mean actually stop whatever I’m doing and stand still, until my body felt as if I were balanced once again. Who wouldn’t make fun of me for this?

Apparently, no one gave a shit about it. After moving to Pennsylvania, I made quite a name for myself at school. Literally. My name was Zip. I have no fucking clue how that ridiculous name came to be, but that’s what I went by day after day. One could say I was considered popular, but it wasn’t like I actually spoke to anyone. When it came to extracurriculars, I only participated in theatre. I never was part of the cast, just the stage manager. Secretly, I wanted so badly to audition and be a part of the magic they created on that stage. Not to boast or anything, but I had the talent and potential to be a starring role. But I could never bring myself to break out of my shell. Nonetheless, being stage manager still got me quite the attention. Everyone was always so nice to me, so I felt a little bad for not considering any of them as friends. That was until I met Dina.

Dina was new to our school sophomore year. She had this sort of light to her that attracted the pesky moths that were our dull and boring school body. We had the same social status in school. People liked our personalities, so we were well-liked and accepted without doing much to prove ourselves worthy. She was sweet and compassionate and so fun. I didn’t mean to become her friend, but she was so welcoming, despite being the newcomer. We became close friends, but not best friends. We already had people filling those roles.

Dina’s best friend was Sydney Novak. Sydney moved to Brownsville around the same time as Dina, so the two became best friends quickly, but Sydney wasn’t very popular at all. She was shy and introverted, but I thought she was nice enough. I liked her and thought she was a pretty cool person. We weren’t necessarily friends, we were just well acquainted simply because we were both close with Dina. The transitive property, if you would. I just wish we could’ve talked more, our relationship was pretty much nonexistent.

Speaking of nonexistent relationships, let’s talk about Richard Berry. I honestly don’t want to even think about him, but he played a role in my life that was too vital to just offhandedly mention. For some odd reason, Ricky Berry was absolutely in love with me. It was so obvious to everyone except for me. Sophomore year, he expressed his love through the most arrogant and cheesiest of pick-up lines and compliments. I wasn’t so easily won over, if you could guess. I tried being good friends with him, but he’d always fuck it up when he tried to initiate intimacy. I didn’t want to hold hands with him in the halls or receive “friendly” cheek kisses. I’m not what you would call affectionate, especially towards people I’m not close to. It’s just never been comfortable for me. Junior year, everyone around me was buzzing with excitement when they heard Ricky was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. The cheerleaders, who got to know him through his high school football career, constantly pestered me with reasons as to why I would be so lucky to date The Richard Berry. Granted, he became less of a dick junior year, so I thought, Why not?, and accepted. Being in a relationship with Ricky was the most one-sided… anything I had ever been a part of. He was undeniably enamored with me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to reciprocate those feelings. He would show me off to his family and friends like a trophy, but if someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I’d go, “I mean, yeah. I guess”, so not a very healthy relationship. It also didn’t help that Ricky knew nothing about boundaries.

One night, we were in his bedroom, studying for a science test. Ricky wasn’t focused at all and kept trying to kiss and cuddle with me. I let him for awhile, but then he took my book from me and set it on the ground beside his bed. He suggested we have sex right then and there. Now, I was never a prude and definitely didn’t wait to have sex for the first time, but I never wanted Ricky to be my first. He hadn’t earned enough of my trust to even touch me suggestively. So, of course I refused. Ricky only took that as me teasing him, so he advanced, nearly forcing himself on me. Using all my might, I shoved him off of the bed. He stood to his feet, utterly confused, but I only gathered my things and left his house. He tried following after me, but I ignored him until he turned and went back into his home. The next day at school, he was holding me and kissing me and showing me off to everyone like he always did. As if nothing happened between us the night before. It was difficult to do, since he was so inconsiderate, but I managed to break up with him. He tried to deny that we were Splitsville for about a week, but everyone caught wind of our break-up. Once everyone knew about it, it became true for him. I never really felt comfortable with being intimate or open with guys after that.

Besides with Stanley Barber, of course. Stan was my best friend in the entire world. I told only my deepest, darkest secrets to him. And he told me his. The only things we really had in common were our lack of mothers and our hideous bacne. Stan lived a few houses down and was eager to get to know me a week after I moved in. I’d never met anyone in my life like Stan. He was so awkward, but loveable. I don’t know, I guess he reminded me of my mom. The way he didn’t care, but he so clearly did. Whenever I wanted to talk about something that was difficult to voice, we’d smoke to ease the tension. Of course, this wasn’t how we always communicated. Despite his nervous stuttering, he was easy to open up to. Stan provided a sort of security in my life. He was never going to leave me and that put me at ease when hanging out with him, which we did regularly. I don’t know when exactly I developed a crush on him, but I never wanted it to surface in our bond. He was to never know. It was just a stupid crush, right? He was a guy who wasn’t family and was so unbelievably caring towards me. It was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean he had to be aware of it. Though, it was a little hard to keep such a secret when we’d both made out twice already. The first time was while I was dating Ricky, the kiss was very awkward and ended after about a minute and a half. The second kiss was just half a week after my breakup. That time, we’d both known what we were doing. And I may be a little biased, but you couldn’t have even thought to fake the passion in that makeout session. We never talked about either of those kisses and remained friends both times. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we didn’t become anything more afterwards. It was for the best, though, because two weeks before spring break, my dad returned from his job in Georgia and moved me to Kansas again. The move was so abrupt that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone besides my family.

My life in Kansas for the second time was something I’d never want to experience ever again. Since it was a little late in the year, I finished junior year online. For some unexplained reason, my dad had us get new phones and new numbers, so I lost all contact with my friends. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t like my dad paid much attention to me. I remember spending every waking moment with him when I was younger, talking or playing games or watching television. It used to be so fun being his daughter, but when we moved back to Kansas, I just felt like this huge burden in his life. Our relationship was strained and he clearly had other priorities in his life. Like whatever he left back in Georgia. I’d see his phone ring and the same number from that state would pop up before he’d leave the room and privately talk with whoever. It wasn’t the secrecy that was off-putting to me, it was the fact that it was so much more important to him. Once again, I was ignored by the one person in my life I wanted to spend the most time with. So, you can imagine the joy I felt when Dad had to go back to Georgia for work. I had been attending public school for my senior year and left not even a full month in. It didn’t bother me, I had no friends and nothing to leave behind. Mid-September was when I moved back to Brownsville with Aunt Pam. Everyone accepted me right back in. Especially my classmates. As I walked the halls I heard whispers like,

“Oh, my god, is that Zip?”

“Zip’s back! Where’d she even go?”

“I thought she died.”

The only person I really wanted to notice me was Stan. I missed him so much, I even got into his favorite band to have something to remember him by. I remember the day I got back to my aunt’s house. Jacob had picked me up from the airport and was driving me to the house. He was attending community college, but was still living with his parents. As we drove, he tapped his index fingers rhythmically to the shitty pop music that played on the radio. “So, what are you excited about for senior year?”

“Not much, I just missed Dina and Stan. Theatre, too. I wonder how they’ve been doing without me.” I chuckled. Jacob huffed in amusement.

“But you didn’t miss Ricky?”

“Fuck, Jake, you know I didn’t miss him for a second.” I frowned, waving my hand in dismissal. My cousin tauntingly laughed at me. Had he actually known about what happened between Ricky and I, he wouldn’t have teased me. In fact, Ricky wouldn’t even be alive that day if Jacob found out. No one knew about the incident, not even Stan.

Pulling up in front of the house, we got out of the car and headed to the trunk to pull out my bags. I tried carrying them in, but Jacob insisted that he do all the heavy lifting and simply asked me to carry my backpack and close the trunk. I did what little I was asked of and headed to the front door to greet my aunt and uncle inside, but stopped. In the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the Barber residence. Turning, my eyes locked on Stanley, who was frozen beside his car. He was wearing his work uniform and staring at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. It was like he thought himself to be hallucinating my existence. Smiling, I simply waved at him before walking back inside. When he got home from work that night, he headed over to my house and knocked on the door. I answered with a grin on my face. “Stan!”

“If it isn’t the famous Zip, showing back up in my life.”

“Ugh, do not call me that.” I rolled my eyes playfully before bringing him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin at the top of my head. I would’ve stayed there all night if I could’ve. When Stanley pulled away, my heart hollowed and a pit formed within my stomach. I felt unfinished, unbalanced. And I hate imbalance. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted his offer. All we did was lay on his floor, listen to music and get high, but in that moment, that’s all I needed.

Bloodwitch, a joint, and Stan laying by my side.

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit

[carnationcreation]

Hi can you do a Reggie x reader where she’s Luke’s younger sister and her and Reggie were dating in the 90s and then in the present when Luke goes sees his parents the reader is there and Reggie isn’t expecting that and the reader is telling her parents that she’s been trying to expose Bobby about his hit songs are her brothers and Reggie and Luke are both happy about that and also the reader knows julies mom and she asks to come hear her play and see Luke and Reggie. I hope this isn’t to weird

TITLE: Number One Fan (JATP Reggie x reader)

Masterlist

Request an imagine here!

Request: Yes!

Pairing:  Reggie x reader, Luke x sister! reader

Prompt/summary:   The reader is Luke’s younger sister. Her and Reggie were dating in the 90s and she finally gets closure after 20 years

Word Count: 2,136

Warnings:  some angst I guess

Authors note: I already had a similar idea to this so I’m gonna take some ideas from what I already had written. I had to simplify this a little bit, but I hope you enjoy!

The beating of my heart drowned out the sound of the doorbell as I stood outside of my parents house. Though this event happens every year it still doesn’t quell the amount of anxiety and pain I feel, even after 20 years. In 1995 I didn’t only lose my brother Luke, I lost my boyfriend Reggie. Oh even the thought of their names makes my eyes water and my throat close up.

The door finally swung open after what felt like a century. Seeing dad standing there brought up feelings I had tried to run away from, feelings I tried to fix and shut out but never truly could. He pulled me into a tight hug and wiped some of my tears away. This is how it went every single year on his birthday, no one truly spoke but everyone knew there was nothing to say.

I still remember the night Luke ran away. My parents tried their best to pry where he was staying out of me but I never let them, I just couldn’t betray my brother like that. Besides they treated him terribly after they found out about the band. I guess I still blame them for him never coming home. 

After the candle was blown out and the cake was cut I took mine into Luke’s room to eat. I knew he’d be proud since our parents used to be super strict about no food in the bedroom and I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity. His room was still the same, even after 20 years. Posters of his favorite bands hung on the walls, his guitar sat on its stand in the corner. I only knew one song that he taught me, but it’s become the only thing that feels close to him. The strings hadn’t been replaced in years and I could see the exact spot where his fingers had worn away the metal leaving it smooth and thin. It still sounded beautiful after all this time.

I felt something in the room shift. Goosebumps formed on my arms as I felt something soft wrap around me. It was barely there. If I wasn’t paying attention I would’ve missed it entirely with how the air seemed to wrap around me. Tears fell down my face as I put the guitar up and grabbed the empty plate, trying to make sense of what happened.

_______________________________________________

It wasn’t even a few days later when there was another ring from the doorbell. Dad answered it and let the girl inside.

“Julie lives in the house the band used to rehearse in,” Dad said as I walked into the living room, “She was just telling me she found a song that Luke wrote.”

“It’s a song about a girl named Emily?” Julie questioned.

Mom gasped, “I’m Emily…”

“Then I think your son may have written this song for you,” Julie said.

I took the paper out of her hands slowly, looking over my brother's handwriting and scribbles that covered the paper. I turned to my mom and nodded while handing it to her.

“I need some air,” I said. I walked out the front door and leaned against the hood of my car trying to catch my breath.

It wasn’t too long after that Julie finally walked outside. She saw me and put her hands in her back pockets before walking over slowly.

“Your Luke’s sister?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said, I wiped the tears off of my face, “and Reggie’s girlfriend back in the day.”

“Oh,” she said, I could tell she was shocked and I giggled at her wide eyes.

I took a deep breath, “Did you find his songwriting notebook? I’ve tried searching for it for years, it wasn’t in his stuff when he…”

“He must’ve left it in the garage before he left that night, and it’s there now. It’s one that I found. Do you want it back?”

“No,” I said, “I don’t think I have the strength to look through them all, and honestly I don’t want to know how many sappy love songs he wrote about the girls he chased when he was younger.” 

Julie laughed and I joined her, it felt good to finally be able to talk to someone about my brother.

“Julie?” I asked, “Did you find any of Reggie’s stuff?”

Julie took a pause before responding, “Yes I found some of his jackets in the garage.”

“Would you mind to bring some of them?” I asked.

She nodded before pausing again, “Did you ever move on? After that night?”

I sighed and looked down at the ground, “I lost both my brother, my best friend, and my boyfriend in the same night. It’s hard to move on after that. Losing not one but three of the people you love can change you.”

Julie nodded before pulling another piece of paper out of her back pocket, “I asked your parents if I could perform some of their songs, I think you should come.”

“Thank you Julie, I’d love to. You know I was their number one fan right? I always got to sit in at practice and got their shirts before they were for sale. I guess I didn’t want to listen to their music at all after everything that happened.”

“They wouldn’t want you to lock music out of your life, just know they died while going after their dreams. Not many people get to do that.”

I nodded before pulling her into a hug. She waved as she walked off leaving just me and the paper she gave me. I opened it up and a smaller white piece of paper fell on the ground. The first paper, bright pink and vibrant, read Julie and the Phantoms Live!

The white piece of paper was obviously from my brother's songwriting book, scribbled at the top of the page in Reggie’s handwriting was (Y/n)’s song.

_______________________________________________

The Opheum. The same place my brothers passed away over 20 years ago now. I found Julie’s dad near the front row and took my place next to them at the wall separating the fans from the stage. Julie appeared on stage finally and delivered a short speech dedicating the song to her mom and her friends. I was confused as the notes to Stand Tall started playing, I wrote this with Luke a month before he died. Where did she get this? My answer came as slowly each member of Sunset Drive appeared on stage in front of me. Tears formed in my eyes as I saw the people I loved the most show up after 20 years of thinking they were gone. After a big finale and a standing ovation Julie finally walked backstage and she had asked me to meet her back there after the show.

“Julie I- what was that? Are they really here?” I said as I rushed up to her.

“Hold on,” she said as she pulled me into the dressing room, she closed the door and turned back to me, “I’m going to tell you but I don’t want you to freak out or think I’m crazy.”

“Julie I just saw the three people I thought were dead for 20 years play an opening act on stage, if anyones crazy it’s obviously me.”

Julie took a big breath and went into the entire story of how she formed a band with my three ghost best friends and managed to convince everyone that it was a hologram. And then how a creepy demon dude branded them and is trying to force them to join his club and they have to avoid it by finding their unfinished business to be able to cross over. By the end of it I was leaning back in the chair I sat down in and rubbing my face.

“So they’re here?” I asked.

“Yes, well, kinda.”

“And people can only see them when they’re playing?” I said as I pushed my hair back.

“Yes,” she said, “and I know I know it doesn’t seem real but I can prove it to you.”

“How?”

“Follow me to my house.”

_______________________________________________

I drove behind them on the way home and waited for Julie to give me the signal to come inside.

“You know Luke wrote Stand Tall as a duet for me?”

Julie turned to me with wide eyes, “Oh- uh, no I didn’t. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be Julie, I’m so glad he finally got to perform it with someone,” I said with tears brimming my eyes

“Don’t you still want to be with him?” Julie asked.

I raised my eyes, “With Reggie?” 

She nodded.

“I’ve aged 20 years Julie, and spent most of that time believing he was gone. I moved on. Maybe if I could see him again I would, but I don’t really know if people would find it weird a 36 year old is dating someone who hasn’t aged.”

Julie laughed before I could continue, “I’m just happy he finally got to live his dream, and I’ll always be your biggest fan.”

 She led me out in the garage that my brothers had practiced in when they were in high school. I looked around and saw how much had changed over the years, a grand piano sat in the back that I had never seen before. The lights were still off but I could see the outline of the couch and furniture and instruments scattered around. 

“I never got to say goodbye before they crossed over,” Julie sighed and I rubbed her shoulder, “Or tell them thank you.”

I heard a whisper come from inside the studio and Julie whipped around to turn on the lights. I couldn’t see who she was talking to but I knew it was them.

“I thought you crossed over?”

My face furrowed in confusion, “What’s going on?”

“They pretended to cross over but the Orpheum wasn’t their unfinished business,” Julie said as her voice shook.

“So they came here to die again?!” I yelled.

Julie smiled and said, “Reggie said you’re still the same firecracker he asked out in freshman year.”

“Reggie?”

She pointed to the ground beside the recliner, the air seemed cloudy, surrounding a vague outline of a person. I sat down on the ground near the blob and cried wishing I could see them.

Julie pleaded with them to go join Caleb but I knew it was no use. Their stubbornness transcended the mortal world. I saw Julie lean up and hug a figure, then I saw Luke. I gasped as he started to glow a golden light.

“Why can I feel you?” Julie said. 

“I don’t know but, I feel stronger.”

“Luke?” I gasped out.

He turned and gave me his signature smile, “See? I told you you’d never get rid of me for too long.” 

I rushed forward and tackled him in a hug.

“Reggie, Alex come here!” Julie yelled.

I felt three more sets of arms around me. More glowing light filled the room and I looked up to see my three best friends standing in front of me once more.

“Whoa,” Reggie said, I looked up and looked deep into his eyes, “I don’t feel as weak anymore.”

The boys winced as the marks on their wrists began to float into the air and disappeared. 

“What does this mean?” Julie said.

“I think the band’s back,” Luke smiled.

“And with our number one fan,” Reggie said and threw his arm around me. I buried my face in his neck and finally smelled the scent I’d forgotten long ago. 

“You guys think we can try the hug thing one more time?” Alex said, causing us to laugh. We all pulled into another group hug.

After we pulled back again Reggie said, “I like this.” Before pulling us into another hug. 

“We played the Orpheum!” Julie shouted and we all jumped around, never letting go until Julie’s dad called her inside.

I stayed outside with the boys for just a little bit longer. My arms never left Reggie’s neck unless it was to hug the other too, trying to catch up on 20 years worth of affection that was missed.

“You look hot,” Reggie said causing me to chuckle.

“Dude!” Luke yelled, “I don’t care how old she is, that's still my little sister.”

“Sorry bro, but she’d be a hot mom,” Reggie smirked.

I smiled and pulled Reggie in for another hug.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes, “So what does this mean for us?” 

“I don’t know honestly,” I sighed, “But I guess we’ll figure it out.”

“I’m never letting you go,” Reggie said as he buried his face in my hair.

“I’m counting on it besides you still have to play that song for you number one fan."

[blossom-hwa]

You Look So Lovely, Darling (I’ll Love You for Lifetimes) - |BaL|

Kinda feels weird to be writing the proposal scene so early, but like? This drabble series is all out of order so whatever lmao :) enjoy some sweet nervous channie who just wants his proposal to be perfect <3

(and again, thanks to @deathbykpopboys​ for helping me work out this scene!! I LITERALLY owe you the world if you ever have ANY requests I'll be willing to write them :D)

Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, slice of life, single parent!au

Triggers: cursing

Word Count: 2.9k

Chan just wants to give you a picture perfect proposal - why is that so hard?

SKZ Masterlist | Breathe, and Live | Touching Stars (TBZ teacher!au)

Proposing, Chan comes to learn, is no easy task.

It looks so simple in movies. One of the couple pulls a ring out of their pocket, kneels down in front of their significant other, and pops the question. There might be tears, but it always ends in pure joy.

Movies make it seem like a formula, a simple algorithm that Chan just has to follow in order to get this proposal right. In real life, though, Chan thinks he’s about to lose his mind.

Because movies don’t demonstrate how to act in front of an older brother very protective of his sister. They don’t show him how to talk to his children or hers, how best to ask them if they’re all right with gaining new siblings and a new parent. They don’t give him insight on how to pick the perfect god damn ring, something maybe reminiscent of the promise rings you both wear on chains around your necks, but also not too similar because what if you think he isn’t being creative?

And the worst thing is, they don’t tell him how to pick the perfect moment. They don’t tell him where to go, what ambience is right, whether or not little kids in the room will ruin the timing.

At this point, just thinking about proposing turns Chan into a stammering mess. Even though you’ve discussed marriage before, you haven’t made any large moves beyond that. Jisung and Felix have been calling you Mama for a bit, but Hyunjin has only just started calling him Papa, and mostly on accident (though each time he does, Chan’s heart fills with this overwhelming happiness that brings tears to his eyes). What if you decide now isn’t the right time? What if you decide you want to wait a little longer?

What if you decide Chan isn’t the right person for you?

That’s a question that plagues Chan every time his mind even brushes on the topic of marriage.

He loves you, though, he loves you so much. And he knows you’re the right partner for him, even if in the end you might decide he isn’t the right partner for you.

Patience, he tells himself, taking a deep breath. He really should be working on this new track, but instead, he’s staring into his hands, trying to map out the perfect proposal. Not too fast, Chan. Take it in steps.

The only problem is, step one scares him out of his wits.

. . . . .

Chan is a full year older than Minho, and then some. By all rights, he’s the elder, and he shouldn’t be as terrified of the younger man as he is.

Minho’s a scary person, though. He’s driven, concentrated, focused – it’s how he’s gotten so far as both a dancer and a father. Chan knows he’s hardworking, but Minho is just as much, if not more, than he is.

And he’s very protective of you.

(When Minho found out you two were dating, he told Chan, verbatim, “I won’t hesitate to take you to international waters, chop up your body, and toss the parts overboard if you hurt my sister.” Just thinking about the blank expression Minho had on when he spoke those words is almost enough to make Chan lose his nerve.)

But here he is, standing just outside of Minho’s studio, ready to knock. He’s sweating, not because it’s hot or anything (it’s actually pretty cold because Minho is weird like that), but just out of sheer nervousness. His heart feels like it’s pounding a mile a minute.

Oh, God. Chan raises his hand again to rap on the door. Stop thinking. Just do it.

He knocks.

A few seconds later, the dancer opens the door in all his sweaty glory. “Chan?”

“Yeah.” Chan tries to smile, but he’s pretty sure it just looks like a grimace. “Can I ask you something?”

A glint comes into Minho’s eyes. “Of course, come on in.” He opens the door widely, smiling in a distinctly cat-like fashion that is literally scrambling Chan’s brain.

Why does he look like he knows what Chan’s about to ask?

The door swings shut with a soft but audible click, and with the noise goes Chan’s last chance to run away.

“So?” Minho looks over once Chan’s inside the room. He’s enjoying this way too much.

There’s no way he doesn’t know what I want to ask.

“I… um, so I’ve been dating your sister for a few years,” Chan starts.

Minho actually snorts. “Yes, I’m aware.”

Chan can feel the tips of his ears turning bright red. “Right. Um, I just wanted your approval for – I’m planning to – well, with your permission, of course –”

The smirk on Minho’s face only grows with each stuttering word that comes out of Chan’s mouth. And in all honesty, he actually has no idea what he’s saying. All of the sentences he rehearsed in his head before coming here seem to have completely flown out of his brain, and from Minho’s expression, he just sounds like an idiot.

He keeps going anyway, because nervous Chan doesn’t always make the best decisions to make himself look good.

“Well – um, look, I just really love her a lot.” Chan looks down with the admission, knowing he’s definitely rambled too much already, but he needs to get on with it and ask the stupid question. “I… wantedtoaskifyouwouldbeokaywithmeaskingtomarryher.”

Minho leans forward, eyes innocently wide. “Sorry, I didn’t get that, can you repeat what you said again?”

Lee Minho, you are a grade-A asshole.

Face burning, Chan clears his throat. “I wanted to ask if you would be okay with me asking to marry her. Your sister, I mean.”

Silence. Minho leaves him in silence for five whole seconds which feel more like five millennia. Chan thinks he’s going to crumble into dust on the floor out of terror and embarrassment.

“Do you have a ring?” Minho finally asks.

Chan’s cheeks burn redder. “Not… not yet.”

“So you’ll need help picking one, then?” The dancer raises one perfect eyebrow.

“… Yes?”

“Beautiful. I’ll be there whenever you need me.” Minho smiles. “Anything else you wanted to ask?”

Chan just stands there, dumbfounded. “So… is your answer yes?”

The smile immediately drops off of Minho’s face, replaced by an eye roll and a sigh. “Yes, Bang Chan, you idiot.” He punches Chan’s shoulder. “No one’s ever going to fully deserve Y/N, but you’re the closest I think anyone’s going to get. You really thought I’d say no?”

Rubbing his arm, Chan smiles sheepishly. “You can’t blame me for being nervous.”

“What? Nervous, around me?” Minho laughs, sharp and loud. Even though Chan knows he’s teasing, it’s still a bit frightening. “Never would’ve thought that.”

“You’re just proving my point,” Chan says.

“No, I’m not.” Minho smiles, close-lipped and slit-eyed. It’s terrifying. “Now, off you go. And don’t come back unless you need help picking a ring!”

It takes Chan five minutes of sitting in the hallway, garnering strange looks from several people passing by, before his legs are stable enough to take him back to his own studio. Heart still pounding, he mentally crosses a line through step one.

Next comes step two. Chan purses his lips. Step two is a bit less scary than step one (mostly because it involves children and not Lee Minho), but no less challenging.

Well, he got through Minho. Chan sighs. He just has to hope that the kids will be as receptive to the idea of a new parent as Minho was to a brother-in-law.

. . . . .

The kids know that you and Chan are at least, in some shape or form, together. They might not understand the nuances, like how you’re technically dating but don’t always refer to yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend (because it just feels so much deeper than that, somehow), but they understand that you two “like” each other (Jisung pretends to vomit every time he hears the word “love,” so Chan just uses the word “like” to avoid that) and thus live together.

They love it, most of the time. Hyunjin was a little put out when he found out he would have to share a room with two other boys, but after Minho moved out and Hyunjin realized he would get his uncle’s old (and slightly bigger) room, he happily accepted the new plan. Jisung and Felix were mostly just happy to live with their best friend.

(Children, Chan just thinks. They’re so easy and so hard to please.)

Of course, there are difficulties. Jisung’s sensitive and has more than once broken down when he thinks Chan isn’t giving him enough attention with a new boy in the household. Felix’s tantrums are rarer, but they exist, and Hyunjin is still getting used to sharing his mom with someone else.

They’re a family, though, a messy, mostly happy family that can pull together at the end of the day and whisper “I love yous” to each other before bedtime. And that’s something Chan values more than anything in the world.

Which is why obtaining his kids’ approval for officially tying the knot is something so important to him.

He gathers them together one day in the apartment with the promise of watching a cartoon show after he asks them something. Three pairs of big eyes stare up at him from the couch, and Chan feels his heart melting with love and racing with anxiety.

Chan takes a breath. “Do you know what marriage is?”

“Yeah!” Jisung pipes up. “It’s when a girl and a boy get together and kiss!”

The laughter spills out of Chan’s mouth before he can even think. “Well, not quite, Jisung,” he chokes out, trying to stifle his remaining giggles. “It’s when two people who love each other very much get together officially. Marriage can be between a woman and a man, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. Any two people can get married.”

Three small heads bob their heads in understanding.

“I wanted to ask you three if you would be okay with me marrying Y/N.” Chan looks each of the boys in the eye. “Is it?”

Felix nods quickly. “Yes!”

Jisung furrows his eyebrows. “Are we still going to live together?”

Chan smiles. “Yes, Sungie.”

The other twin nods. “Okay!”

Hyunjin’s mouth pouts slightly. “Will I have to call you Papa?”

A little piece of Chan’s heart breaks, but he tries not to show it. “No, of course not, Hyunjin.” He smiles as brightly as he can. “You can keep calling me Channie or Uncle Channie or whatever you want. You don’t have to call me Papa if you don’t want to.”

Hyunjin’s round, dark eyes gaze into his with a solemnity Chan honestly didn’t know toddlers could have. “Do you want me to call you Papa?”

Oh, fuck.

What the hell does Chan say to that?

With a sigh, he decides to be honest. “I would love it if you did, Hyunjin, but like I said, you don’t have to. I’ll never force you to do something you really don’t want to.”

There are a few seconds of silence, then Hyunjin nods. “Okay. You can marry my Mama.”

A weight lifts itself off of Chan’s chest and he smiles, freer this time. “Thank you, kids. One more thing – don’t tell Y/N about this!” He looks into each of their eyes, trying to convey how serious he is but in a fun way. “It’s a secret, okay?”

“Like a spy mission?” Jisung bounces in excitement.

The smile on his face widens. “Yes, Sungie. Like a spy mission.” He looks at the other two boys. “Do you promise? Pinky promise?” He holds out his pinkie.

The three resulting shouts of “YES!” make Chan hope their neighbors won’t come knocking. But even if they did, Chan thinks, he wouldn’t care.

He’d go to the ends of the earth to defend these three kids, after all.

. . . . .

Step three goes by in a flash. Out of sheer anxiety, Chan actually takes a full day off from work and calls Minho for help in finding the perfect ring.

Miraculously, he finds something within his budget range – a silver band with a small diamond set in the center. It’s simple but elegant, and the diamond glints beautifully in the sunlight. Really, the ring matches the way Chan often finds himself summing up your existence.

So only the last step remains: the actual proposal.

Looking back, Chan has no idea why he thought each of the other steps was so stressful. This is pure stress, he thinks, waiting for the perfect time to pop the question. Should he plan something extravagant? Or should he just go with the flow? When is the perfect time, anyway? What constitutes “perfect” in your mind? In his?

Minho just tells him to wait for the moment he thinks is “right.” But what the hell does “right” even mean?

“You’ll figure it out.” The dancer gives Chan a bright grin, patting his shoulder. “And if you don’t, I’ll tear you limb from limb.”

Chan just puts his face in his hands and screams.

. . . . .

When Chan proposes, the sky is dark. The kids are already tucked in bed, and you’re sitting on the couch, leaning into his shoulder as you mindlessly scroll through your phone.

Absently strumming his guitar, Chan smiles down at your face, illuminated by your phone’s glow. As if sensing him staring, you look up as well. “Sing me something?” you murmur.

“Of course, love.” He leans down to kiss the top of your head. “What song?”

“Anything you choose,” you reply. “Anything.”

Chan thinks for a moment, then starts strumming the instrument.

Softly, with mood, tightly hug her

Use it once a day, every day…

When your eyes meet hers, smile.

The characteristic chords of one of your favorite songs make you relax even further into Chan’s body, a smile blooming across your face. He badly wants to stop playing and just kiss you good and full, but he keeps his fingers strumming the guitar.

Let her breathe under a different sky, a different wind,

Sometimes, kiss her without a plan…

Chan almost stops playing.

Without a plan.

He doesn’t have a plan. He doesn’t have any proper plan on how he’s going to pull the little box out of his pocket and ask the question. But now…

Maybe he’s got an idea.

The final chords die away, and Chan finally gets his long-awaited kiss when you sit up lethargically, pressing your lips to his softly. “Are you awake enough for one more?” he whispers when you pull away.

“Mm, one more.” You nod happily, snuggling back into his side. “Then sleep.”

Chan takes a breath. One chance, Chan. This is your chance.

His fingers start strumming a song very familiar by now to him and the boys. From the way your eyes light up, you recognize it too.

It doesn’t have words. It’s just a collection of guitar chords, hastily arranged in a sweet, rough melody. In the track version, it would have piano, but because Chan only has two hands, he has to make do with just the strings of the guitar.

It’s the first song he ever wrote for his twins, the song he created that day so many years ago when they weren’t even born, when they were still kicking in their mother’s stomach. They think of it as their family song, the song he plays when the twins are sad, when they can’t get to sleep, or when they just want to hear something nice.

The last strains of the song fade away and Chan looks at you to see a tear glittering on your cheek. “You play that when the boys are sad,” is all you say. “It’s your family song.”

Chan smiles softly. “But you’re part of the family too.”

When he pulls out the box, your eyes widen. “Chan –”

“Shh.” He presses a finger gently to your lips. “Y/N, the past few years you’ve been with me have been some of the best of my life, and I can’t ever thank you enough for staying with me all this time.” There’s a tear welling up in Chan’s eye, but he blinks it away. “I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, if you would marry me.”

There’s a moment of silence that nearly gives Chan a heart attack. What if you say no?

“You – you stupid romantic sap.” The tears are really sliding down your cheeks now, but your mouth is smiling wide. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you, Chan. I’ll marry you.”

Chan can’t speak as he slides the ring onto your finger with trembling hands. Throat choked, he can only pull you close, burying his face in your shoulder as your tears soak his shirt. “I love you so much,” you whisper.

He pulls back just enough for to see your eyes sparkling with love, so much love. Your touch intoxicates him, with your fingers pressing gently against his skin as you press your lips to his in a sweet, sweet kiss.

Yes, he thinks. You’re the right partner for him.

The perfect partner for him.

Teary-eyed, he smiles. “I love you too.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 congratulations for the newly engaged couple!!!)

[bxebxee]

What I have to say: This is really not what I typically write, but please allow me my self-indulgence. Also, I am rusty and unpracticed, but this made me happy to write. 

What this is: Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you haven’t changed yours since high school. 

What this wants to be: Romance

What this warrants: Rated R for Rotten Relationships (and other things) 

You hold your sister’s new baby reverently. The baby is so small, and you’re scared that your bad morals would somehow seep into the skin through contact diffusion. 

“I feel like I’m already the irresponsible aunt,” you whisper, shooting your sister a terrified look. The baby isn’t even sleeping, but what if your bellowing voice would upset him. “Are you sure-” 

“Yes,” she says firmly, “You’ll be a good godparent. There’s literally nothing to do except spoil your nephew every now and again.” She pauses, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “Unless we die. Then I guess you’d have to be more of a parental figure...” 

You and your brother-in-law interject at the same time in a cacophony of protest. 

“Okay, we are not dying,” he sighs as your octave increases by a half-step, “Please do not say that as I hold your offspring in my arms. I can’t feel them by the way. Seokjin, can you take him? I don’t want to drop him.” 

Seokjin takes the baby, and you feel bereft of warmth. It’s a weird feeling to note that considering your firm No Babies Policy. You miss the baby already. This is witchcraft. 

“It’s just a fucking hypothetical, relax,” your sister laughs, her eyes softening considerably as she sees Seokjin coo over his son. 

“If our baby’s first word is ‘fuck’ I am not taking responsibility,” Seokjin says mildly, eyes never leaving his baby. You don’t really blame him. 

“And you’re not blaming me either. I’ve been good,” you say. 

“Oh please, everyone curses younger these days anyway. I’d rather my son know than not know, you know?”  

“You’re pushing it,” Seokjin warns. 

“You’re such a dad,” she scoffs. 

“And you like it,” he counters. 

“Yeah,” she admits. “Yeah, I do.” 

You check your phone for the time, and it’s thirty minutes before the official start of the baby gathering. Time for you to leave. 

“Hey, it was good to see you guys. And the baby,” you tell them, hugging both lightly so as not to disturb the tenderness of the moment. Bear hugs were for a different day. “I have to head out, but I’ll come visit a lot, okay? I’ll even babysit. For free.” 

“Not staying for lunch?” your sister asks, looking very sad and disappointed, but you steel your heart. The two of you have inherited your mother’s knack of guilt-inducing looks, and you’re not about to fall for it. 

“Not today, no.” 

Seokjin nods, bidding you to take care. He knows why you want to leave before the crowd gets too heavy. 

Unfortunately for you, cosmic luck was not on your side because as soon as the front door shuts behind you, the elevator dings and Yoongi steps out, clad head to toe in celebrity black and holding five Burberry shopping bags. There’s no one around, so you don’t particularly feel the need to stand on the niceties of greetings and choose instead to brush past him in favor of the elevator. 

“And hello to you too.” he remarks sarcastically. 

“Go to hell,” you reply, wishing that you didn’t have to be in a close fucking hallway because you could smell his cologne. 

“Oh come on-” 

You press on the close door button rapidly, and the doors shut out Yoongi with a soft, muted click. 

Twelve hours later, you get a text from an unknown number. Coward is all it said. You stare at your phone screen in bed, seeing typing bubbles start and stop and start and stop. Mister Unknown Number finally settles on silence because nothing follows after the one-word epithet. 

It feels like a dare. 

--

Yoongi finally puts his phone down. You were too smart and too self-respecting to try this all over again with him, and he wants to kick himself for ever thinking that goading you would work when you were clearly over him-

His phone vibrates intensely and consistently. You’re calling him. 

“Hello,” Yoongi says, picking up the phone after just a single ring. Desperate, to be sure, but he wasn’t positive you’d wait for five rings anyway. 

“You changed your number again,” you say without preamble. 

“I’ve actually had this number for two years now,” Yoongi says. “Been getting hacked less and less. Guess you never saved the number.” 

“Why would I?” you ask, petulance peppering every syllable of your words. 

“Why didn’t you stay for the luncheon?” he asks instead of answering your question. 

“And sit in a room with you for a couple of hours pretending everything’s normal? No thanks,” you scoff. “And luncheon? Really?”

“You missed out on the shrimp toast.” 

“I think I’ll live.” 

“So why’d you call?” 

You could take the easy way out. Save your pride and your face, and pretend that you still don’t carry a torch for Yoongi. You could lie and say you just wanted to call and make sure it really was him. But you were always a glutton for pain, and he was all too happy to oblige to your needs. 

“You wanna come over?” you offer, not feeling an ounce of trepidation that he’d reject you. Yoongi always came when you asked. 

“Where do you live?” 

“It’s the same place as last time.” It’s a test. Let’s see if he even remembers my address-

“Be there in thirty.” 

--

He’s late by a few minutes, but Yoongi explains through interrupted kisses and hasty undressing that there was traffic, and he showered- 

“You could have showered here, you know,” you mutter, pawing at his dick and biting down on the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Yoongi always like a little pain.

“I’ll shower here after.” (After he fucked you at least twice, minimum. After he got to see you naked and temporarily his. After he was somewhat satisfied but much too sweaty for sleep.) 

And then it’s No Talking Time for a short while because he has your face occupied with inhaling scant oxygen against the mattress while his own head was buried between your asscheeks and legs, lapping and sucking at you like he had something to prove. Could this count as some form of asphyxiation? Probably. You don’t expect his mouth to make you feel close to losing control. The act had always unnerved you, but you found yourself uncaring of past discomforts and losing yourself into the feeling of soft, insistent lips. 

Yoongi eats you out with soft grunts, hands holding your thighs apart and firm. Don’t move, his hands say. His tongue up your cunt isn’t any sort of giving on Yoongi’s part; this was all selfish. He wants you to cum and feel starstruck and ruined, wants you to get it through your head that your flesh craved his flesh in the same animalistic way he needed you. 

You turn your head around just enough to be able to get out, “You can sto-” 

But he silences you with a warning slap on the ass. You are not to be deterred. 

“Stop with the tongue,” you order. 

“You’re insane,” he hisses, pulling away and shamelessly licking his lips. “You can’t ever just let me-” 

“Put it in now,” you demand. 

Yoongi lets out a terse sigh. “I should just leave right now,” he grumbles, getting up on his knees to rub his dick against you and nudges the head on your opening. “I shouldn’t be here.” He presses inside at “here” and wrenches a moan from your lips. 

“Then leave,” you sigh, pressing your ass back against him, relishing in the feeling of being filled again by Yoongi. “Just go home and jerk off instead. That’s what you’re good at, right? Leaving me?” 

“You’re a bitch for bringing that up during sex,” Yoongi says, fucking into you steadily and slowly, resisting the urge to pound into you like his baser instincts demanded. He was going to enjoy you for as long as he wanted. He knew you wanted it rough and bordering on violent, but he wasn’t going to add more ammo to your already large arsenal of Reasons To Hate Min Yoongi. 

Yoongi leans over completely, letting his torso lay flush against your back, unbothered by your sweat as it mixed with his own. You were going to feel every last inch of him inside and out. He pumps in and out slowly, sucking on your neck and breathing into your hair with audible moans of enjoyment. 

“I’m not leaving,” he groans, reaching over to rub your lower stomach gently, as if comforting you. The intimacy of this wasn’t lost on you, but you can’t find the words to tell him off. You missed his heat and the familiar weight. You are only human, after all. 

Yoongi threads his fingers through your unkempt hair, stroking gently before balling his fists into a pronounced grip. He turns your head to the side and kisses you, your neck straining from the awkward, uncomfortable position. But it reminds you of the beginning - of the before times when things were easier in the shadows of his success and unavailability. 

It’s impossible not to feel things when he fucks you this way, and kisses you, and moans soft nothings into your ear like you’re the only woman he’s ever done this with. You are atrocious at protecting your heart, and even after two years of icing him out, Yoongi barges into you like it’s nothing. 

“Don’t stop,” you moan, heart thumping against your chest. You really, really can’t stand to want him so much. 

“I won’t,” Yoongi reassures, kissing the corner of your eye. He doesn’t speed up, and instead chooses to test the limits of your patience with languorous but firm strokes. “Not until you tell me to.” 

There was nothing that compared to this - not heated fucks with attractive strangers, or money, or getting crossfaded by the Han River. When Yoongi did this to you, you almost felt like he loved you. 

--

Yoongi sleeps silently besides you in the sunlight, completely worn out after an emotionally exhausting round of sex that made him cry when he came inside you. He’s usually sensitive to the light, but he’s out cold and completely drained. You hadn’t expected that part - the crying. You thought it was just sweat until you heard rattling breaths and a hiccup. 

You watch him breathe silently from your place in his arms, unwilling to leave the small cocoon of warmth. You’re the opposite of him, and right now, you’re wired. You’ll probably end up crashing sometime later in the day, but for right now, you’re content to just watch him sleep in your bed, on your pillows, smelling like your body wash. 

You’re too old to be scared, and yet this moment fills you with dread; that once the spell of sex and yearning was broken, everything would tilt back to its regular axis, and you’d be all alone again. If you were younger, you might have up and left already. Leave him before he leaves you. And it’s not like you haven’t done that before. Your entire relationship with Yoongi is always filled with one person leaving behind the other one because nothing about the two of you ever lined up properly. 

But this time, you’re too tired to run away. So you close your eyes and pretend to sleep until it finally comes to claim you. 

[readyplayerhobi]

Always Trust In Pixie Dust

; Pixie!Seokjin x Pixie!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst

; Word Count: 14k

; Synopsis: As a vegetable pixie, you weren’t exactly considered the most desirable in the pixie hierarchy. But the uncle of one of your student’s is convinced that you have a secret admirer, only made worse when your younger brother and sister get involved. Will they succeed in their matchmaking or will your admirer come forward before they can get into too much mischief?

; A/N: Okay so...this is my first FULL Jin fic and I feel bad because I basically lost all inspiration for any writing about 4/5 through writing this. As a result...it’s pretty fair to say I’m a little uncertain of how this fic is and how you’ll all feel about it, particularly as there’s no smut anymore (it just didn’t fit). I love the world though, and I love pixie!Jin. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, PLEASE reblog because Jin fics don’t get the love they deserve, nor do solely fluff fics :( also, please leave me your comments and thoughts and asks so I know what you thought. I’m trying my hardest to get back into writing and just finishing this was hugely important for me!

-

“Kim Taehyung...you don’t have a child,” Your words cause the tall pixie with soft, peach coloured hair to pause with almost comically wide eyes turned to you. “So what are you doing here?”

He says nothing for a moment before straightening himself, crossing his arms over his broad chest and pursing his lips at you. Even though he’s younger than you, he towers over you and you work hard to keep your teacher aura that had him looking so chastised when caught.

“You’re right. I don’t have a child. But I do have a niece. Right there,” Taehyung points over to the little girl sitting on the floor, her voice sweetly joining the other girls she’s sat with as they sing a nursery rhyme together. “And I’ve been asked to bring her home by her dad.”

Twisting your lips, you sigh before nodding and gesturing for him to come inside. The nursery that you worked at was inside a hollowed-out tree, providing plenty of space for the babies and little ones who were not old enough to attend school lessons in the higher levels of the tree. Everything inside your room was bright and colourful though, the walls stained with the vibrant colours that came from the richest pigments created from flowers.

A mural of the forest and individual, faceless pixies took up one half of the circular room while the other was free for the children to paint on as they saw fit. Creativity was one of the most important traits of a pixie after all, and it was your job to ensure that they went wild with all their beautiful, creative thoughts.

The floor was dotted with dried paint, and even new paint splashes from the day's activities and you hummed lightly as you moved over to the line of reed twine that was strung up across the room, parchment hung on it in intervals with each one containing a drawing. Scanning over, you take the one with the little girl's name and hand it over to Taehyung.

“Miyeon painted this for her dad. Make sure that he gets it please.” You request, smiling at him. He looks over the painting with a critical eye before grinning, nodding before bounding over to Miyeon and crouching down next to her.

“Hey, sweetie. Did you paint this for your daddy? He’s going to love it. Look at your house! It’s so pretty. You’re so talented.” He cooed to her and you watched as her face lit up with happiness at the approval and support from her uncle. Kim Miyeon was the four-year-old daughter of Kim Namjoon, Taehyung’s older brother.

Unfortunately, her mother had died of illness two years ago and so she was being brought up by Namjoon alone. Everyone had worried about that at first given Namjoon’s eccentric nature. He was the inventor of the hamlet, the one who put all that intelligence and creativity to use to create new and useful things for other pixies to use.

But it often meant he could be forgetful and scatterbrained. Occasionally forgetting to eat things or working too long. The idea of him raising a two-year-old on his own had been nerve-wracking, but Namjoon had once more impressed everyone by being a doting father to his daughter. 

He may forget to feed himself, but his daughter never went without. And she was proving to be just as creative and intelligent as her daddy. You weren’t sure the hamlet was ready for two people like Kim Namjoon.

“Uncle Tae!” She said, her voice its usual sweet mixed with a little shyness. But you couldn’t deny her love for her uncle, nor his love for her. Opening his arms, she jumps into them and giggles as he stands, pretending she’s heavy by making overly loud grunts and noises. 

“Oh, oh you’re getting so big. What is your daddy feeding you?” He teases her, laughing as she starts to give him a serious answer. Looking over at you, he gives you a boxy smile before heading to the door.

“You know...I know a little secret,” Raising a brow at him, you make a gesture for him to continue and he whispers into Miyeon’s ear, a conspiratorial look on his face as he watches you the whole time. “Did you know that Miss Park has a secret admirer?”

She gasps loudly, putting two small hands over her mouth while her pretty eyes go wide. You resist the urge to roll your eyes and instead move a piece of Miyeon’s strawberry blonde hair out of the way of her eyes, untangling it as you do so.

“That’s not a secret Taehyung. You tell me that every time you see me.” Snorting, he rolls his eyes in turn before heading out of the door that you open for him. It’s warm outside, with the sun shining down through the forest canopy and a gentle, cool breeze causing the leaves and grass to rustle.

Taehyung’s wings, long and gossamer-thin like a dragonfly’s flicker as he moves into open space and you take in the hint of peach in the almost transparent wings. As with all pixies, his wing colour matches his hair and pixie dust.

“Yeah, but I’m gonna give you a hint this time. You know him.” Now you can’t help but laugh, leaning against the ancient tree trunk that was so familiar to you. Like all pixies in Appleseed Grove, you had also spent your early years in the rooms carved out of the old oak. It was almost tradition now, and everyone took care to make sure that the oak survived despite how it was being used as an education base.

“I know everyone in Appleseed Taehyung. So try again.” The younger pixie hums thoughtfully before winking at you.

“Okay, you may know everyone here. But your secret admirer is someone that you see every other day.” And with that, he spreads his wings and takes off, the soft fluttering of his delicate wings resulting in a glittering blur of peach as he flies off to Namjoon’s home with Miyeon safely secured in his arms.

Frowning, you watch him go before heading back inside to wait for the other parents to arrive. None of the children has noticed you leave and you lean against the wooden desk you use thoughtfully. None of the little ones had wings and you were beyond thankful for that. It was a pain trying to round them up as they moved on their little feet and legs so as a nursery teacher, you were beyond thankful that they wouldn’t get their wings until they were seven.

But you find yourself turning Taehyung’s words over in your head. He liked to tease you incessantly. It was in his base nature as the youngest son of his family and you were convinced the only responsibility he would ever accept was for the stables where he helped to train the birds that your hamlet was so famous for.

Pixies would travel from far and wide for an Appleseed bird. From the tawny owls that were perfect for anyone who needed to travel at night to the swallows that were used for general travelling needs and even the kestrel’s that were trained to help protect pixies and their land, Taehyung was surprisingly good at training them all.

No one was safe from his mischief outside of his work though and you sighed, wondering why you were letting him get to you. Still, though, he’d never given you a hint as obvious as this. Despite knowing everyone in Appleseed, you didn’t interact with everyone frequently. So that reduced the pool of suspects for your ‘secret admirer’. 

If you ever had one. 

Blowing out air loudly, you resolve to push his words out of his head for now. You’ve got more important things to worry about. Like little Jaebum who has started a paint fight with his fellow partner in crime Jiyong.

-

The incessant knocking on your door immediately gives you a clue as to who it is. There’s only one person who has that much pure energy and that’s your little sister, Park Jiwon. As soon as your door is opened, you’re immediately waylaid by both your younger siblings as they push past you into your home.

Groaning quietly, you rub at your face before closing the door and turning around. As a vegetable pixie, you had the luxury of living inside a baby carrot. As the name suggests, it’s pretty small and everything you owned was in this one room. A small kitchen was to the left while your bedroom to your right and a small living area further away.

Pixie social hierarchy is dictated by living status. Fruit pixies, like Taehyung, were the top as it required a lot of innate magic to keep their home sustained. Nut pixies, like your brother and sister, were on the second rank while vegetable pixies were below that. In an ideal world, it would just mean you all had different homes, with each home being directly influenced by your magic.

Your magic had manifested itself in a baby carrot, which was admittedly cute looking, Jimin’s in a chestnut and Jiwon’s in an almond nut. But pixie’s were notoriously finicky, which meant that they liked to marry into each other's social ranking. Fruit pixies to fruit and so forth. Which meant you were destined for another vegetable pixie.

You should be thankful, you guess. Only a few generations ago, your family had been rock pixies. Which meant they had no innate magic. So with your younger siblings being the first to ever manifest their homes in the nut ranking, you had hope that the future was bright for your nieces and nephews.

Didn’t help the small hint of sourness in yourself at the knowledge you’d been skipped over though. What you wouldn’t give for a better home, a nicer home. It was silly though, and you shook your head to escape the thoughts. It didn’t matter in reality, you had a good job, great friends and a loving family.

“What do you two want?” You sigh at the twins, their matching pale blonde hair the only thing you can see from where they sit on your sofa. Nut pixies were renowned for having the most similar colour palettes for their hair and wings. From the palest blonde to the darkest brown, your younger siblings had ended up on the paler end.

“Can’t we just visit our big sister?” Jimin says, a sweet smile on his face and you narrow your eyes at him. His cheeks were round and full, something he was never going to get rid of even though he was the same age as Taehyung. Same age and with the same mischievous mentality. 

Unsurprisingly, they had been firm best friends since they’d met in nursery school. Which meant that Taehyung’s earlier mysterious comments had almost certainly been told to Jimin, who would have in turn told Jiwon. Because anything you told one twin would end up being told to the other as they were incapable of keeping secrets from each other.

“No. Well, yes and you do. Frequently. But I’m guessing it’s something to do with Taehyung deciding to be his usual self?” Jiwon giggles and it immediately sets off Jimin, the sounds almost the same except one had a feminine tone and the other masculine. Sighing deeply, you moved over to the kitchen and carried on making your dinner before looking at them both.

“Are you staying for dinner? It’s an apple walnut salad.” They both need eagerly and you snort in amusement. Despite the years between you all, and the fact that they had a much closer bond, you still loved them dearly and enjoyed their presence.

“So have you figured it out yet? Tae gave you such a good clue!” Jimin asks, reaching forward for your newest book that you’d taken from Appleseed’s sole library. It was run by Taehyung’s oldest brother, Kim Seokjin, who was a sweet guy if a little shy.

“What? That it’s someone in Appleseed who I see regularly? Narrows it down a little but not much munchkin.” A deep and overly exaggerated sigh leaves him and you resist the urge to poke your tongue out, not wanting to lower yourself to his level.

But he can tell what you’re feeling by the way your wings twitch. Jiwon pushes him, scolding him lightly and you chuckle at the reminder that she’s the older twin. If only by a few minutes of course.

“Shut up Jiminie. She’ll never realise,” You gasp in outrage at her quick betrayal of you and she simply flashes you a sweet smile in response. “Not until it’s spelt out for her.”

“Do you want this salad or do you want me to add in some paprika too?” Hissing, you point the knife you’re using to cut the vegetables for the salad and resist the urge to laugh at her pouting face. Jiwon hated paprika with a passion and you knew that apples were her weakness. There was no way she was giving up this dinner.

“Wonnie, you give in too easily to her.” Jimin scowls, poking at his twin incessantly until she’s squealing with laughter and wriggling around on the couch. Frowning, you watch them both and wonder how they don’t tear or break a wing. You wouldn’t think that they were both fully functioning adults with actual jobs looking at them right now.

There are better-behaved children in the nursery.

“Be nice to her, she’s my favourite sibling for a reason.” He gets up at that, so much outrage on his face that you’d think you’d just severely insulted him or something. Though with the twins, everything was a competition and so you probably had.

“Wrong. Anyway, I’m going to be your favourite sibling now. Because I’ll give you another hint.” Standing smugly, he crosses his arms over his chest and you pause from cutting the apples that you’d bought from the fruit market just before coming home.

“Why, exactly, do you think I care? Even if I find out who it is, nothing is going to happen. Also, stop being mean to whoever it is! They probably don’t want you to tell.” His plush pink lips pout out at your resistance to his teasing and you simply go back to making dinner, ignoring the two of them as they whisper to each other.

“You see him regularly, he’s older than you and you’ve been personally acquainted with him for your whole life.” Now that gets you to pause, frowning down at your knife as you contemplate Jimin’s words. Despite what you’d just told him, you can’t deny that you’re intrigued at the possibility of someone liking you.

It had been a while since you’d gone on a date and even then, he hadn’t been from Appleseed Grove but the next hamlet over in Greenleaf. Taehyung telling you that you not only knew your admirer but saw him regularly had reduced your list. But Jimin’s hints reduced it even further.

The list was still impossibly large in your opinion, you could already list several pixies whom you’ve known personally your whole life, but still. You can almost feel the answer. Shaking your head, you tut at him and frown as you try to push the inquisitive thoughts away.

“Jimin! What did I just say?” 

Almost immediately he pouts, slumping down onto the couch in a remarkable imitation of a petulant toddler. Jiwon soothes him immediately, running her fingers through his hair and you want to scowl at their innate bond. Why was she making him feel better dammit?

“Enough, both of you. Come get a plate, it’s done and then I want you two out after you’ve finished eating. And make sure you wash your plates too!”

-

Perhaps unsurprisingly, your little brother and Taehyung do not let the issue go. You’re convinced that they’re hatching some sort of secret matchmaking mission with you as the main star. You trust Jimin of course, but you know he’s always one to get up to mischief and the combination of Taehyung and him is potentially devastating.

Still, you try to push it out of your mind as the last thing you need is to start stressing over whoever this admirer could be. And with your younger sibling, it could truly be anyone. For all you knew, it might be the sweet old man who lost his wife a year ago and is always tending to the community garden.

A shiver runs through you as that thought passes through your head. He’s nice, but certainly not what a young pixie like you wants. You have faith at least that Jiwon wouldn’t let her brother do something as mean as that. She might find the idea amusing but she probably wouldn’t let him get into it thankfully.

Opening the door to the library, you inhale the smell of fresh books with a small smile before heading inside. You’d already finished the book you’d taken out only the other day and had eagerly come back for something else, wanting a story to whisk you away in the evenings.

It helped that Seokjin was an incredibly handsome pixie too, you wouldn’t lie. The rose pink-haired man was perhaps the perfect man to run the library as he always had his nose pushed into a book and he had an almost perfect memory of everything stocked. No matter what subject you wanted, whether fiction or nonfiction, he knew exactly what you would like to read.

He was also incredibly shy and awkward, which was why he seemed especially suited to the quiet solitude of the library. Plenty of people visited it, of course, even now you could see a mother with her two young children picking out books, but it wasn’t exactly somewhere that saw a huge amount of socialising.

You liked that though and you liked his company too. It was understandable perhaps given that you spent your daily life around small children who didn’t seem to understand that they had inside voices yet. Seokjin was like a breath of fresh air to you. A very quiet, softly spoken breath of fresh air.

If ever there was anyone in Appleseed Grove that would be the most understanding of the never-ending struggles of your little brother, it would be Kim Seokjin. How he’d managed to put up with Taehyung when he was younger was beyond you because that boy was chaos incarnate. Which was another reason why you were here; you wanted to get Seokjin’s opinion on the whole thing.

He was a font of useful knowledge and had read enough philosophy and self-help books to be able to give you correct and relevant advice. Plus, he knew all about annoying little brothers who were determined to meddle in your life. There had been a rather amusing incident a few years ago where Taehyung had set up Seokjin on a date, only it had turned out his date was double his age and thought they were just going to play nuts and stones in the park with her other elderly friends.

Needless to say, it had been embarrassing for everyone involved and you weren’t sure how Taehyung was still alive. All you knew was that Seokjin must dearly love him. Either that or Namjoon had intervened to prevent one of his brother’s murder.

You really should ask him how he restrained himself because you were positive that one day you were going to have to do the same. And you did not want to see Jiwon sad because you’d had to murder her twin brother for embarrassing you.

At first glance, you don’t see Seokjin anywhere and you sigh softly. It looks like you’re going to have to search for the pixie throughout the aisles of books. Thankfully, the library isn’t too big. It takes up all the space in an old tree stump with bookcases lining the area that are all packed full of books.

Placing the book you’ve brought back behind the front desk, you begin to search through the aisles. You’re never quite sure what Seokjin spends his time doing in the library really and when you find him, he’s just crouched in front of the romance section. Raising your eyebrow, you watch him for a moment and simply take the moment to admire him while he’s not paying attention.

Seokjin is very introverted by nature which is unfortunate because he’s quite possibly the most handsome pixie you’ve ever seen. His soft hair is ruffled today, the strands made up of a range of colours from a deep rose to the lightest cherry blossom. A beautiful golden tan to his skin, round cheeks, luscious plump lips and enigmatic brown eyes combine with tall stature and broad shoulders to make him just plain beautiful. 

He doesn’t notice you admiring him given how intently he’s staring at the bindings of the books, his delicate, translucent wings shimmering as they twitch in time to whatever he’s thinking. Pursing your lips, you shake your head to push out the intrusive thoughts before heading over and crouching next to him.

“Whatcha doing?” You ask lightly, looking over the novels he’s perusing and realise they’re all historical romance novels. They’re not your kind of thing as the topic of noble fruit pixies taking pity on lowly vegetable pixies or even worse, rock pixies. Society took a while to move on and you were thankful that the age of nobility had long since passed but there were still those who sought to imagine themselves in that period.

And as someone who would’ve been of the servant class back then, you had no wish to read about being ridiculed for loving someone higher up. You didn’t know whether Seokjin was interested in it or was just contemplating how to reorganise them. The shelf didn’t look to be in any specific order and if you knew anything about him, it was that he liked his things to be neatly organised.

Still, he hadn’t been expecting you as the yell he lets out is obscenely loud in the quietness of the library. Even more than that, he falls backwards in a scene that could only be described as comical.

Chuckling, you gently reach forward to help him rearrange his wings before he gets into a cross-legged position. Pressing a hand to his chest, he takes a deep breath in before exhaling slowly with wide eyes.

“Hey! Give a guy some warning next time please!” He exclaims a small hint of a whine threading into his voice in what can only be described as a Seokjin complaint. Snorting, you roll your eyes and sit next to him as you both stare at the bookshelf quietly.

“So, was there a reason you just frightened the life out of me?” Reaching forward, he takes one of the books off the shelf before carrying on removing the rest. You help him by taking on the other side of the shelf, humming to yourself with a tongue in your cheek as you contemplate how to ask.

While you knew Seokjin well enough to feel okay asking him about this, you weren’t exactly super close. He was a little older than you and almost intimidatingly handsome. Perhaps unsurprisingly, you’d had a big crush on your little brother’s best friend's older brother when you were younger. And that was a confusing enough sentence on its own.

As a result of that relationship though, the two of you had had enough interactions over the years to be called friends. Not close friends or anything, but enough that you felt comfortable talking to him. Plus, he was an incredibly calm and stable person when he wasn’t screaming in fear.

Along with that, if anyone was going to understand how to handle Taehyung, it would be his eldest brother. Which is why you let out your breath in a long, low exhale before placing the final book on the pile.

“Did you know Taehyung has been bothering me lately?” Cringing, you realise that makes it sound like he’s annoying you. And as much as you wish he wouldn’t tease you about this whole admirer thing, he wasn’t annoying you.

“Scratch that. I made him sound bad. He’s not bothering me really, it’s just...I think Jimin and him are on one of their matchmaking crusades again. Taehyung’s been telling me for ages that I’ve got a secret admirer and I pretty much ignored him because I thought he was just making it up. Only now Jimin’s got involved and it’s someone I know and see often?” You don’t notice the way Seokjin freezes for a moment, his hand pausing over the top of the book he was about to pick up.

“Oh...really?” His voice is weirdly high for a moment before he coughs roughly, clearing whatever had caused the pitch change before it’s back to normal. “A...secret admirer? How long has he been telling you that?”

Making a face, you wave your hand aimlessly in an unsure gesture as you shrug simultaneously. “I don’t know. At least a few months I think, I haven’t been keeping track. But when I pointed out the other day that I know everyone in Appleseed Grove, both Jimin and he decided to up the ante and are starting to give me clues. So now I know it’s at least someone who I interact with and not just someone who happens to live here. Which is still a really big pool to pick from given my job.”

Sighing deeply, you stretch out one leg before moving your hands to rest on the floor behind you, holding your upper body up as you stretch. There’s a soft fluttering as your wings stretch too and you shiver slightly as they brush against Seokjin’s own, lacing his with burnished copper pixie dust. Twisting your lips, you look over to where Seokjin is sitting staring at the pile of books.

Frowning, you reach over to poke his muscular thigh playful and tilt your head when he looks up. He has an almost curious expression on his face and you give him a questioning glance. There’s no response from him for a few seconds, instead, he just seems to look over your face intently before giving you a tight smile.

“Nothing more than that? No like...name hints or jobs or anything?” Seokjin asks, looking back away from you to start rearranging the books into alphabetical authors. Watching him, you tap at your lips before sighing and shaking your head.

“No. But it’s your brother. And my brother. We know what they’re like. They’ll get me believing them and it’ll turn out to be some old guy. Or even a bird knowing Taehyung. For all I know, they’re just talking bird poop to me and there’s no one.” That gets a snort from Seokjin and you look at him in confusion.

When he realises you’re staring, he coughs awkwardly and you can’t help but smile at the way his ears burn red, a shade almost similar to the rich red of the apple he lives in. His cheeks are soon flushing too and you have to bite your lip to make sure you don’t let yourself laugh too loudly to embarrass him even more.

Still, you want to know what’s got him like that so you stay carefully quiet to let him explain himself. After a minute of silence, that’s particularly awkward, he must realise that you’re not going to let the conversation move on until you’re done. Resting his hand on the cover of the book he’s placed onto the shelf, he takes a surprisingly big breath that has your brows raising slightly.

“I’m pretty sure there’s someone. I mean...n-not that I-I know who it i-is but like...you’re so nice a-and stuff. So...I-I mean, Taehyung is probably right. D-don’t you think?” Slowly, your lips twist up into a smile as you feel suddenly shy at his sweet praise. Hearing Seokjin sound so sure that there’s someone out there who likes you makes butterflies flutter inside your stomach and you feel the small flame of hope that maybe it’s even him.

It’s ridiculous of course because Seokjin is way out of your league. Like, he’s not even in the same realm as you so there’s no point in even hoping really. He’s a fruit pixie from a long, unbroken line of fruit pixies who is also ridiculously handsome and intelligent. There’s no way he’d want to lower himself to be with you.

Still...you can’t help but have a small hope. That crush from years ago apparently never died.

“Maybe. It’s a nice thought, right? I’m not exactly the greatest catch in Appleseed though.” Now he’s the one snorting, his eyes rolling in exasperation before he lets out an expletive, pushing at your arm hard enough until you’re almost falling over.

“Don’t say that. You’re beautiful, smart and have a great job. Anyone would be honoured!” Almost as if he realises what he’s just said, his eyes go wide and his already pink cheeks redden even further. “I-I mean...w-well. Y-yeah, what I said.”

Smiling gently, you reach and take his hand, squeezing it gently in thanks before gently scooting over the pile of books on your side. Even though you’d come here to get an idea of how to handle Taehyung, you feel pretty content now given that even Seokjin thought the admirer might be real. It made you feel a little excited to know that there could be someone out there, dreaming of living a domestic life with you.

“Thanks, Seokjin, you’re too sweet. I put the book I took out behind the desk, are you okay if I take something else?” You gesture back towards the end of the aisle and miss the way Seokjin’s eyes go a little soft at you. 

“Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Just...write down what you took and I’ll note it down in the lodger. And hey...just ignore Taehyung if you want. I’ve learnt that eventually, he gets bored if he gets no real reply.” He gives you a small smile, looking remarkably small for someone so big as he sits there on the floor and you give him a smile of thanks in response. 

“Maybe. I was going to do that but...I mean, if it is real...maybe I should go along with it? Find out who it is. You never know, it could be my future husband or wife. I’d be silly to turn that down right? It’s a little exciting too like I’m in school again.” Giggling, you give him a bright smile before waving goodbye and heading back out.

Once you’ve left his sight, Seokjin’s shoulders deflate with the long-suffering sigh he lets out while his head flops forward. Closing his eyes, he stays that way for a moment while mentally imaging all the ways he could murder Taehyung and Jimin without their bodies ever being found. He’d read enough books to be able to pull it off, surely. 

Flower stems, he hated that he’d gotten drunk that one night with them all and accidentally blurted his long-held crush for you. It was something that everyone had already figured out long ago but that night, he’d confirmed it. And of course, his little brother and his annoyance-in-arms best friend had decided to do something about it and play matchmaker.

But what was he meant to do? He couldn’t kill them now because you looked to be too invested in the mystery of it all, the romance of everything. Would you be disappointed if you found out it was him though? He knew that he was good looking but at the end of the day, he was still the shy and introverted librarian who didn’t get too involved with everyone else. Not exactly the best catch.

Glancing back to where you’d gone, he chewed on his lip slowly before taking in a deep breath. Or maybe you would be happy with the revelation. If he let it get revealed of course. Would you ever consider him as a potential future husband?

Seokjin knew that the only way to find out that was to let you find out who your admirer was. But he was suddenly struck with uncertainty at the knowledge you’d find out via Taehyung and Jimin. Surely you’d like it better if he confessed himself? It’d be better coming from him right? Or would you be angry that he hadn’t said anything when you’d sat here, talking about it so confused?

Swallowing thickly, he wondered what the right decision was. And if he’d even make that decision or make a fool out of himself for everyone else to see.

-

The next few weeks are busier than ever for you with the coming Harvest Festival. It was one of the biggest events in the year and saw all pixies getting involved with harvesting the communal gardens. Thanks were given to the goddess of the harvest, Alixtra, and everyone celebrated in the hopes of a bountiful harvest next year as well.

As such, you were not only coordinating where you were going to be spending the Festival but also helping the children to get involved. That involved getting them to make special banners and decorations that would be hung throughout Appleseed Grove while also teaching them the importance of the Festival.

You were also being bombarded with Taehyung and Jimin. The two mischief-makers had gotten it firmly into their heads that they simply needed to have you figure out who the admirer was and so they’d upped their game. It almost felt like you couldn’t have a single conversation with them without them mentioning it.

As much as you’d indulge them under normal circumstances however, you were a little too stressed with trying to sort everything out to truly appreciate their efforts. So the most they were doing is successfully annoying you and making you wish that you didn’t even have a secret admirer.

Honestly, it was all just becoming a little too much from them and you’d snapped more than a few times. You had more important things to be worrying about than whatever they were cooking up. And you knew that they were planning something for the Festival. There was no way they couldn’t be.

Groaning quietly, you pressed a hand to your forehead as you tried to rub away the headache that was brewing. Today had been particularly stressful with the children deciding to be completely uncooperative. You’d had to clean up so much mess along with dealing with two tantrums and three fights.

It seemed the excitement of it all was getting to them. As much as you wanted to be angry at their behaviour, which was normally excellent, you couldn’t because they were just children. Children who were being a little overwhelmed by the fact everyone was suddenly making a big deal of the Festival. If the adults were getting stressed over it, then it wasn’t surprising that the children were struggling to cope with their emotions too.

So you’d soothed the tears when some of them had gotten too upset when their painting didn’t go right and you placated frayed tempers between friends until they were hugging each other once more. The downside to being the calm person throughout it all was that you had taken on their negative emotions.

As a result, you needed to calm down and the best way to do that was to take yourself off somewhere. Which was why you were at the aviary, the home of all the birds that Taehyung helped to train. They didn’t all live there obviously, most of them lived freely and returned when called but many chose to stay in the warm, comfortable spaces made for them.

And one of those birds was Sweetsong, Taehyung’s swallow who was his pride and joy. She was, as her name implied, incredibly sweet and had a pretty birdsong when she felt like it. You had permission to take her out whenever she wasn’t being used by Taehyung as you enjoyed riding but couldn’t afford a bird. They were too expensive to maintain, unfortunately, so you simply rode Sweetsong.

You were kind of glad of it, to be honest as you loved her. Heading into the aviary, you called out her name and smiled as she chirped before fluttering down to meet you. Big, intelligent black eyes take you in for a moment before she recognises you and twitters happily, pushing her soft head against you.

Sweetsong was a typical swallow bird with indigo feathers that turned into a navy blue across her head and wings. Her breast was covered in the softest feathers of cream and white, evidently having been groomed by Taehyung recently, while the lower half of her face was a burnt orange. 

“Hey girl, how are you?” You murmur to her, smiling as you stroke her face gently. She follows you out of the aviary obediently and stands quietly as you retrieve the spider silk tack that was made just for her. It’s incredibly strong and light, which is ideal given how fine-boned she was, with the underneath covered in the highest quality moss to prevent her feathers from being pulled or caught.

Looping the bridle around her head and carefully adding the saddle, you reach for a handful of grain from one of the leaf bins nearby and feed it to her while checking her over. Years of handling her meant she was content to simply wait for you and you smiled, nodding happily as you accepted she was okay.

“Okay Sweetsong, let’s go for a fly, hm?” Whispering to her, you kiss her beak before moving to the saddle. Pushing with your wings, you landed with grace and positioned yourself as you’d been taught when you were younger. Almost immediately, Sweetsong changes position and you feel her becoming more alert and ready.

Clicking your tongue quietly at her, she tilts her head in response before spreading her magnificent wings. You only get a moment to admire them though before she’s pushing off, the sound loud against the quietness of the evening and soon enough, you’re both rushing through the air as she moves faster.

Grinning broadly, you hold onto the reins and lean in so that the air doesn’t hurt as much, letting your wings find their perfect position so they’re not uncomfortable while flying. While pixies were perfectly capable of flying and did often, it was tiring to fly long distances. Which was why different birds were trained, allowing them to carry you when you wouldn’t be able to.

Rising higher and higher into the sky, you both cleared the forest with ease. Taking in a deep breath of cold, fresh air, you sit upright as Sweetsong finds an air current and begins to glide along with it. She chirps happily, singing a song to her wild free who flutter out of the treetops as well.

The forest is far below you now, the green tops of them a never-ending sight as they extend out towards the horizon in all directions. Almost sensually they move, flowing together as the wind rushes through them and you’re reminded of the rushing river close to Appleseed. It’s far stronger than the simple creek that slithers through the Grove but the movement of the canopy reminds you of it for a moment.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath and simply enjoy how relaxing it feels to be so high. There are no worries up here, no stress or anxiety. No secret admirers or annoying little brothers. It’s just you and Sweetsong with the final rays of the sun painting a striking image across the sky in pinks, oranges, purples and yellows. 

This was exactly what you needed after the day you’d had. After the month you’ve had really. It was just...relaxing to have nothing to concern yourself about for an hour or so. Sweetsong flew steadily for you and the day was ending beautifully, making you positive that you’d made the right decision to take her out.

“Ah girl, what am I gonna do?” You sighed out, reaching forward to stroke the silky soft feathers of the swallow’s head. What you were asking that question about exactly, you weren’t sure. A lot of things were uncertain lately and you just didn’t know how to handle it all. Still, it felt nice to just ignore civilization for a while and instead just fly.

So that’s what you do for the next hour. The two of swooping and soaring through the air, travelling a good distance before heading back home. You can tell that Sweetsong is happy to just be able to fly how she wants given the cute noises she makes the whole time and you can’t help but laugh at them. Despite Taehyung being an annoyance for you lately, you wouldn’t deny that he’d done a good job with training her.

His pride and joy.

Appleseed Grove isn’t visible from the air at first, not unless you have a hawk’s vision. But the lower Sweetsong gets, the better you get to see your home. The small oil lamps have been lit for the night, giving the Grove a warm and cosy look while you see a few stragglers who are out enjoying the last of the evening light.

All around the Grove is a range of fruits, nuts and vegetables that are home to so many pixies. Single pixies and whole families of them arranged neatly in whatever magic is inherent to you all. A few tree trunks are hollowed out for social needs such as the school but otherwise, it’s a burst of pretty colours that blend.

Landing at the aviary, you quickly get off Sweetsong and set about getting her ready for the night. The bridle and saddle are removed while you quickly go and get the feather shine Taehyung had developed long ago. Running it along her feathers gently, you smiled at her pleased and content noises and kissed her beak once more.

Once she is ready to go back in for sleep, you walk in with her and give her a nightly feed. When Taehyung had agreed to let you take her out whenever you’d also agreed to care for her when you came back. That meant grooming her once finished and feeding her, along with cleaning her tack.

Which is why once you’ve got her all settled, you sit down on one of the small seats made from a broken branch to begin cleaning. The spider silk bridle is so light and dainty in your hands, yet you know it’s near enough impossible to break. Still, it can get dirty quite easily and the moss has to be cared for to make sure it doesn’t go bad.

“Y/N?” Your name is called makes you jump in surprise, the sound loud and unexpected in the quietness of the aviary. Looking around at the entrance with wide eyes, you frown for a moment in confusion at the sight of Seokjin before giving him a friendly smile.

“Hey Seokjin, how are you?” You ask politely, watching as he moves inside from the doorway. He’s playing with his hands, fingers pushing and rubbing against each other and you frown as you realise that he’s nervous for some reason. Although it was Seokjin and he wasn’t exactly famed for having an outgoing disposition.

“Hi, I’m err...I’m good. Yeah, good.” Tilting your head at him, your eyes narrow as you wonder what’s so wrong. He sounds like something’s wrong and you go to get up, unsure if you’re needed for something. Although what help you could be, you didn’t know.

“N-no, don’t get up. It’s okay. I just...I mean...I have something to tell you. Myself. Before others tell you. I just…” He swallows, his face paler than usual and you watch intently as he wipes at his brow with shaking hands. “I want you to hear it from me. And I’m sorry that I haven’t told you before now. But…it’s just...it’s you.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, you wonder what he’s talking about as he’s making no sense to you. Who was going to tell you something? And what did he need you to know so desperately? You only really saw him when you went to the library so you couldn’t think of anything hugely important. Unless you’d forgotten to take a book back or something.

“I-I like you. It’s me. Your secret admirer. It’s, well, it’s me. I err, I don’t remember when it started or anything b-but it was a long time ago. I just...y-you’re so pretty and outgoing. I never knew h-how to talk to you properly like that. And I didn’t think that you’d like me like that either. But then you said that about Taehyung and Jimin and I panicked because what if you found out from them and not from me?” He continues to babble for a few minutes but all you can focus on is two immediate facts.

Firstly, he likes you. As in...romantically likes you. All those crushes you’d had as a teenager immediately come rushing to fore as you try to understand the fact that Kim Seokjin, the incredibly handsome and intelligent Kim Seokjin who was way out of your realm, liked you. This must be a dream or something. 

The only explanation.

Secondly, he was your secret admirer? That gets the biggest frown from you as you try to comprehend it. Taehyung and Jimin had been pretty clumsy with their hints obviously, but they were right in the hints they had given you. You did know him well and you did interact with him frequently.

Plus, the fact that Seokjin was Taehyung’s older brother and Jimin was Taehyung’s best friend...it all made sense. Though why they’d started their crusade to get you together, you weren’t entirely sure. You were positive that you hadn’t given any hint to the fact that you could potentially like Seokjin.

Pushing those thoughts out of your head though, you decide that the most important concern right now is to make sure that the fruit pixie doesn’t give himself a heart attack. Which looks a distinct possibility given how stressed he’s looking right now.

Giving him a gentle smile, you reach out and take one of his shaking hands and invite him to sit next to you. The way he almost falls onto the seat has you biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing though it’s not helped by the way his eyes are so wide, almost like he’s seen a ghost or something.

“Hey, hey, Seokjin. Please...just calm down. It’s okay. I’m not going to be mean or anything. Just...take a breath and explain it to me properly. You’re my admirer? You like me?” The way your lips curl up into a smile as you say those words is mirrored by the warm and fuzzy feeling in your stomach.

Seokjin pauses, body stilling completely for a second as he acknowledges what you’ve said before nodding slowly. He’s not looking at you now, instead focusing firmly on the ground before him. Licking at your lips, you wonder how to handle this and it goes quiet for a few moments.

“Wow, teenage me would be dying of excitement right now,” You tease him lightly, pushing at his shoulder with your own as you grin at his surprise. “And I’ll be honest...adult me is pretty happy with this news too. You like me? A vegetable pixie?”

That gets a snort of derision from him and you almost sigh in relief at how his annoyance with the intricacies of the pixie social hierarchy is stronger than his nerves. Leaning into him a little, you inhale deeply and smile at the sweet scent he gives off.

“I don’t care about that! Who cares?! It means nothing other than your magic chose that to manifest in. Some of the smartest pixies in history weren’t fruit pixies so why does it matter? I mean, you teach the future of our society in school and…” He carries on with his rant, his strong brows furrowed inwards as he gesticulated wildly to go along with his anger.

It makes you feel a little warm at how he repudiates the societal expectations that you’d both grown up with. Pursing your lips, you let him finally finish before he takes a deep breath to steady himself. Then he looks directly at you, those beautiful and emotive mahogany eyes feeling like they’re staring deep into you.

“I like you Y/N. I-I’ve never dared to say it before because I didn’t think you’d like me back. I’m nothing like you and I know that. But I was with some friends one night and we got to drinking honey sugar so I was a little drunk and...yeah. That’s where Taehyung and Jimin found out about my feelings. I don’t know if I was going to get the courage to tell you but when you told me what they were doing...I couldn’t let you find out that way. Nor did I want to get blindsided by their scheming. If you want to reject me then…I-I’d rather you do it in private than whatever they’re planning.” He finished, round cheeks flushing a red that makes him look rather sweet while his eyes almost seem to shine in the low light.

You don’t respond for a minute, simply looking him over carefully and you note the way his broad shoulders seem to slump at what he probably thinks is a rejection. In reality, though, you’re just admiring how brave and bold he was to come to you and tell you this. Tell you his feelings that he was planning to keep to himself because he thought there was no chance.

All this, so you didn’t get hurt or upset at finding out who your admirer was. There was some selfish nature too as he didn’t want to get rejected in a public setting but still. You could only imagine how difficult it was to put yourself and your feelings out here like this while having no idea what the potential outcome could be.

Reaching for his hand, you take it and gently squeeze it reassuringly. He looks down and swallows hard when you manoeuvre your hands until your fingers are laced together. Lip quirking, you note how natural it looks to have them like that before you glance back up at him.

“I’m not going to lie, Seokjin. I didn’t exactly expect it to be you. I mean, I thought it would be nice but I thought that you were way out of my league and that I had no chance. So to find out that it’s you? I mean...I can’t think of anyone who I’d rather it be now. More So because you found the courage to tell me without letting me get suckered into whatever our brothers were planning. I appreciate that I do.” Pausing, you run your finger along the back of his hand and trace the veins and tendons there.

Seokjin doesn’t respond, instead just letting you explore while you get your thoughts together. You wanted to make sure that you did this right because you certainly were not planning on letting Seokjin walk out of here with a broken heart.

“I’m happy it’s you. And I can’t say that I feel exactly the same, but I know that I want more with you now. If you’ll accept it and accept me?” Once more, Seokjin’s eyes widen to the point that you’re almost surprised they don’t fall out. His wings twitch and vibrate almost intensely behind him, rose pink pixie dust fluttering to the ground as his nerves get the best of his control.

“Really?” Is all he blurts out, his plump lips forming an ‘o’ shape of surprise and you snort with laughter as you nod. Poking at them gently, you then let your fingers trace lightly over the smooth and silky soft skin of his cheek until you’re cupping it.

“Really. I’d be an idiot to say no to this offer! You’re quiet and shy, yes, but I love that about you. You’re also so intelligent and kind and funny. Always willing to put a smile on everyone’s face, even if it’s at the expense of yourself. There’s no way I’m going to turn you down, Mr Kim. So the question is...do you want this to become a relationship? An actual, romantic relationship with no interference from our brothers?” He’s silent for a moment, simply staring at you in what looks like awe.

It makes you wriggle in your seat, the spider silk bridle still carefully in your lap while the gentle sounds of the sleeping birds above you both form a piece of natural background music. Finally, though, you see his shocked face turn into one of pure happiness as his eyes practically light up with excitement, his cheeks rising as the smile on his face grows so broad.

“Yes! Definitely, of course. I mean...are you serious?” Giggling, you nod as he continues to stutter out questions to you. Squeezing his hand once more, you grin broadly as he almost floats off the seat in pure exhilaration, his wings releasing so much pixie dust that you can see it glittering in front of you as it floats on the gentle breeze.

“One thing though,” You say, causing him to pause with dread seeping into his expression. “We are going to get our own back on our brothers.”

-

The Harvest Festival always began early in the morning, when the first rays of sun began to lighten the sky and the birds sang their first notes for the day. For as long as there was natural light, pixies from all over Appleseed Grove would work together to harvest the crops before celebrating during the night.

It was your favourite time of the year. You were able to see the fruits and vegetables that had been carefully grown over the summer months and know that the winter was going to be easy this year. A year with a bad harvest meant that winter was a struggle, and no one wanted that.

But so far today, you've helped to harvest the strawberry fields. A few strawberries had left your basket and made their way into your mouth, their succulent bodies were ripe with juice and bursting with a sweet flavour. It was customary for pixies to indulge in some of the harvests, as long as it wasn’t going to impact on the overall crop. 

You’d already filled six baskets with the luscious red fruit, the pile of strawberries being carefully placed by more volunteers into boxes. These volunteers had the most magic in the Grove, and they used that magic to seal the boxes. This meant the contents remained in an almost frozen manner, staying fresh for the coming months instead of rotting away.

No one knew how it worked really, nor did anyone know how they did it. It was just something instinctive that they did. You knew because you’d asked Taehyung one year. His family was rich in magic and they were always part of the sealers. He hadn’t been able to give you an answer as he didn’t know how he did it, just that it happened without conscious thought.

Through a little subtle influence, you’d managed to make it so that Seokjin was one of the sealers at the strawberry fields today. No one knew that you were together yet. It had been two weeks since you had agreed to start a relationship. Two weeks that had been almost dreamlike for you.

You visited his home after dark, feeling like you were breaking the rules or something, and enjoyed his company throughout the evening. Sometimes it was just making dinner today, feeling very domestic, other times it was reading against each other in silence. There had been a few incidents where the two of you had gotten a little more...involved than you’d anticipated, resulting in you having to rush out of his home in the early morning in the hopes you could get back to your home and change your clothes.

It was all very exciting and exhilarating, made even better by the fact that you loved to see the warm smile of happiness that spread whenever he looked at you. If you’d thought he was handsome before, then it was nothing compared to now when you could have him however you wanted him.

You were pretty sure you were fast on the track to loving this pixie.

The only reason you were both remaining quiet about your relationship was so that your little brothers wouldn’t find out too early. You’d been entirely serious when you’d told Seokjin that you wanted to get back at them. They had far too much fun pranking people and you felt it was time that they got a dose of their own medicine.

Seokjin had just fully agreed, laughing at the thought of outsmarting Taehyung for once. And he’d loved your plan as well. The both of you were going to have to be impeccable actors tonight.

For now though, you’d had to just settle with subtle touches of each other whenever you’d passed, a hand running along his back or arm or a gentle squeeze of your arm when you handed him another basket of strawberries. The smiles between you both were perhaps a little softer than one might expect, your eyes a little more loved up but no one was looking too closely.

It felt nice though, to have someone to smile and laugh with. You just couldn’t wait until it was finally out in the open, even if Seokjin was a little nervous about how people would react. For you, you didn’t care about the general population’s opinion. It was the parents that worried you a little.

Oh, your parents would be ecstatic at you getting into a relationship with one of the most eligible pixies in Appleseed. It was a step up for you, going straight from vegetable to fruit and Seokjin’s family were well respected. But you were worried about how they would react to you. For Seokjin, they would probably view it as him lowering himself.

You had hope though because Seokjin had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t care about anyone else’s views in regards to that. He liked you as you were and he’d told you many times over the last two weeks that he had never wanted anyone else. Which was always surprising to hear, but it warmed your stomach still.

Now though, the light in the sky was beginning to wane as nature painted it in streaks of oranges, yellows and reds while the sun began to set. The lanterns around the Grove were being lit and the bubbling sense of excitement seeped into the atmosphere. 

You’d finished picking only around half an hour ago, the strawberry fields officially empty of any of the fruit. The boxes were all sealed and had been moved to the communal storage where they would remain until they were needed. Many other pixies sat around as well, chattering with each other as they waited for the final signal.

Seokjin was sitting next to you, tiredness etched into his face as he blinked blearily and you snorted, reaching over to push at him slightly.

“What are you so tired for? You weren’t walking the fields and picking!” Teasing him, you grin as he pulls a face and lets out an outraged yell. It gets a few looks from others but they just turn away with a smile, used to the way Seokjin was the loudest quiet person they’d ever known.

“Hey! I’ve been busy too. I just...I’m not used to all this manual labour stuff, you know? Or socialising this much. I work in a library for a reason.” He states plainly, his face carefully blank and you can’t help but snort in amusement. Perhaps it was different for you. Being a teacher meant that you spent most of your day on your feet, running around after children and picking up their stuff.

Shaking your head slightly, you can’t help but lean against him and enjoy the warmth he’s giving off. The nights are slowly beginning to get colder and you’re already not looking forward to the coldness of winter. Frost and ice were not friendly to a tiny pixie and you shuddered at the thought of it already. 

The fear of your wings freezing and breaking was something that began in childhood and never quite left.

Remaining quiet for a few minutes, you found yourself almost dozing off on Seokjin’s shoulder. The hard work you’d done throughout the day was combined with how comfortable and safe you felt with him, his now-familiar scent soothing you and lulling you to sleep.

The sudden ringing of a bell throughout Appleseed Grove, the sound echoing off the trunks of the giant trees surrounding you, causes you to jerk upright. Eyes wide, you almost don’t hear the way Seokjin laughs as you realise your wings are fluttering in fright. Glancing behind, you grimace at the sight of the glittering pixie dust left from your wings, orange dust shimmering in the light.

“Finally!” You exhale, standing up and stretching with a tiny groan. A warm hand resting on your suddenly exposed stomach makes you grunt, shrinking back down and looking at Seokjin with wide eyes. He simply grins and shrugs, gesturing to the fact that almost everyone had practically sprinted off anyway.

“No one’s looking, it’s okay. Come on then, sweetpea. Let’s go enjoy the evening!” Seokjin doesn’t take your hand to lead you down to the centre of the Grove, instead resting his own on the small of your back and gently guiding you there. Smiling at him, you take a moment to quickly kiss his cheek while you have the chance before eagerly rushing past the now barren fields.

The bell signalled that the harvest was complete and stored away for winter. It also meant that the partying could begin, with everyone making their way back to the hamlet and getting ready to celebrate through the night and give thanks to Alixtra for what she had blessed you all with.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” You say to Seokjin once you reach the first homes, looking up at him and giving him a bright smile as he nods. He doesn’t kiss you, but his hand lingers on your back before you go. You’re not sure what he’s going to do, for now, perhaps go and pay his respects to Alixtra at the Harvest Shrine.

But you’re on a mission as you have a specific job to do now.

Searching through the Grove, you eventually manage to round up your entire class and have them all gathered around you. The children have spent the day running through the various fields and playing, encouraging their parents and the other adults to work well while enjoying themselves. Now they all stand before you, looking suitably tired yet excited.

Children did not participate in the harvest itself, but they did have an important role to play during the Festival. Alongside helping you decorate and creating a suitably atmospheric mood for Appleseed Grove, they were also the ones who would make offerings to Alixtra for a good bounty next year as well.

Each child had a fruit or vegetable that had been picked today, the biggest and best of each crop held tightly in their small hands. Smiling at them all as you counted them, you crouched down and brought them all in closer.

“Okay everyone, we’re going to do this just like we practiced, remember?” They all nod at you seriously, their faces carefully restrained while their eyes gleamed with repressed emotion. “Good, come on then. Everyone’s waiting!”

Walking through the crowd of pixies that surrounded the Harvest Shrine, you smiled at them all in turn as they gave way to you and your little procession. Cooing and soft murmurs of joy rippled through them as they took in the sight of the tiny children and their big harvest, each small face full of concentration that made them look even more adorable.

Reaching the Harvest Shrine, you bowed your head reverently to the carving of Alixtra before gesturing to the children. Each one came forward and placed their harvest onto the wooden altar, bowing their head as you’d taught them before taking a step back. This continued on until everyone was done and the shrine was filled.

Looking them over as they stood in a straight line, their hands all linked together as you’d taught them, you grin before nodding your head to let them know they could finish.

“Thank you Alixtra for this harvest. Please accept our labour and bless us for next year.” The words were carefully monotonous as each child tried hard to remember what they’d learnt. You bite your lip to prevent the smile that wants to leave as some of them mess up their words but overall, it’s good and you feel unbelievable pride at them all.

Once done, they look at you and burst into grins and cheers of excitement as you nod your head in satisfaction at them. Laughing finally, you crouch and accept all their hugs before watching as they rush off to find their parents. The noise level increases exponentially as everyone begins to celebrate finally. There are no more rituals to perform, just excitement and fun to be had.

Looking around the Grove, you take in everything for a second with a smile. The lanterns give everything a warm, friendly atmosphere as they bring an orange glow to the bark of the surrounding trees. Festive bunting strung from house to house and tree to tree flutter gently in the soft breeze. The scent of honey glazed pine nuts and hazelnut crusted apple slices dances through the air lazily, causing your stomach to rumble in anticipation.

The familiar outline of your younger brother catches your attention though, his sweet laugh reaching your ears as he hands Jiwon a strawprise. It was a terrible name that had been coined long ago by a travelling pixie who had introduced it to Appleseed Grove. Half a strawberry coated in a sticky honey glaze and grilled before being coated in orange peel. It was delicious and a favourite snack to enjoy when the weather was warm.

You’re not surprised to see your siblings together. They are twins after all. What’s even less of a surprise is the way Jimin’s eyes light up when he spots you, his smile growing even bigger and brighter.

Sighing deeply, you steel yourself as you realise this is going to be the moment. The moment that Jimin and Taehyung have been working towards. When they would finally reveal to you who your secret admirer was.

What they didn’t know though, was that Seokjin and you had been working on your own plan to ruin their own. Whether or not you’d manage to pull it off was an entirely different story. It all depended on if you could both act it out properly without hurting each other or anything.

You’d find out soon enough though. Jimin was herding Jiwon towards you and it was only when they started moving that you realised Seokjin and Taehyung had been there too, hidden by the pixies waiting to be served. Neither of them had noticed you yet, both talking to each other intently while nibbling on their snacks.

Scanning over Seokjin, your stomach flipped at the sight of him. He was beyond handsome, entering the realm of ethereal. How you’d ended up being the one to gain his affection was still a mystery. He made a striking figure against everyone else around him, his height equal to Taehyung’s but towering over your smaller siblings.

While you’d been busy with the children, he must have slipped off to clean up after harvesting as his broad shoulders were highlighted by the white, silk shirt he wore. A lean waist tapered into his dark brown trousers, showing off his long legs which ended in the elegant leather boots. But you mainly focused on his face, admiring how nature had been so kind and generous to him.

His peony pink lips were plush and plump, glistening from the sticky glaze of the maple treat he was eating and you knew from experience that they were just as soft as they looked. Pink hair looked almost artfully styled on top of his head, making his tan skin even richer in the low lights while his eyes were creased in happiness as he laughed at something Taehyung said.

You loved Seokjin’s eyes. Even before you’d started dating, you’d always thought he had the sweetest eyes. Gentle and kind yet intense as well, the long dark lashes that surrounded them giving him an even more dramatic look. Yes, nature had fallen in love with Seokjin and you couldn’t blame her.

When combined with his patient, kind and inquisitive nature, it was impossible to not fall in love with him.

Which was a thought for another day, as even you knew that it was far too soon to be thinking such big thoughts like that. Still, your wings fluttered in anticipation at the sight of him as you hoped they wouldn’t betray the fact you were happy. It wouldn’t do to let Jimin and Taehyung achieve their little goal.

It’s not long before they’re greeting you, joy-filled on all their faces and beating out the exhaustion of all the work from today. You’re careful to act very politely with Seokjin, hoping you two aren’t letting on that you’re a little closer than your siblings might realise. As far as they were aware, you two were only acquainted and didn’t particularly consider each other friends.

“You’re free for the night now, right?” Jimin asks, slinging his arm around your shoulders before squeezing tightly. Cringing from the tight embrace, you poke at his side until he’s yelping and pulling away with a pout before holding out the strawprise he’d brought over for you. 

“Thank you. And yeah, I’m all done now. Everyone else finished?” You didn’t think anyone else had any other jobs to do tonight but you weren’t entirely sure given how busy you’d been arranging your own time. Everyone shakes their head, including Seokjin, and you smile at them all happily.

“Great, then we can all just enjoy the night. Did you all have a good day?” The five of you move off to find an empty spot of grass, close enough to the festivities to be able to see, hear and smell everything but far enough that you can all hear each other without having to shout. Fluttering your wings slightly, you shift until you’re comfortable with them before realising that Taehyung and Jimin had moved around until Seokjin was sitting next to you.

It took a surprising amount of effort on your behalf to not reach out and touch him, especially when he’d placed his hand so close to yours on the ground. From this angle, he almost glowed in the gentle lights and you wanted to just rest your chin on your knees and watch him, fascinated with how quickly you’d fallen for him.

A sudden tickling sensation against your highly sensitive wings has you stiffening with wide eyes, glancing behind quickly to spot Seokjin’s translucent wing resting against your own softly. Twinkles of pink dust mixed with your burnt orange to create a beautiful image and you bit your lip as you turned back around, pleased with the subtle physical affection he was giving you.

Your wings were the most sensitive part of you with each pixie taking plenty of care to look after them. They weren’t as fragile as they looked, but it was considered especially rude to touch another’s wings on purpose. That social norm changed when you were in a relationship though and it was considered more intimate.

No one could see what Seokjin had done, but it made your stomach feel warm and tingly. Hiding your smile behind the strawprise that you eat slowly, you listen to Jiwon and Jimin start to argue over who had picked the most blackberries today. They’d both been based in that field and as usual, it had turned into a competition.

The argument certainly wasn’t helped by Taehyung making inputs now and then, grinning when both twins glared at him for ruining their point. Finishing your snack, you sighed and shook your head at all three of the younger siblings.

“I swear, is it impossible for you three to be around without it devolving into bickering? I see fewer arguments from the children I teach than from you all.” Jimin sticks his tongue at you in what was a very mature move while Jiwon scrunches her face up. Chuckling at them both, you glance over at Seokjin with a raised brow. 

“Hey, don’t look at me! Taehyung and I don’t fight all that often.” He says with a laugh, holding his hands up almost like he’s trying to protect himself. That gets a snort from Jimin who looks at the fruit pixie next to you sardonically.

“Please, you live to bicker with Tae! And that’s nothing compared to when you’re around Jungkook. The three of you together are even worse than Jiwon and me.” Seokjin’s ears turn a delightful shade of red at Jimin’s accusation and he splutters as he tries to reject it. Giggling, you reach out and brush the hair from his forehead affectionately before letting your fingers trail to his now hot ears.

“Are you serious?” Taehyung suddenly shouts, causing you to jump in surprise and look at him with wide eyes. Your expression quickly morphs from one of a shock to confusion given the dual looks of surprise mixed with consternation on both Jimin and him.

And then you realise what you’d just done. The overly affectionate physical affection you’d just given Seokjin in a very public environment when you weren’t an overly affectionate person in general. On top of that, Seokjin had accepted your touch without complaint and without flinching away, something he would have never done before you’d started a relationship.

“Oh, apple trees.” You curse, pressing the palm of your hand to your face as you realise that instead of Seokjin and you ruining their plan, instead, you’d ruined your plan to ruin their plan. All because you can’t keep your hands off the handsome pixie next to you.

The quiet sigh from your right lets you know that Seokjin has realised that the game is up too. Thankfully though, he doesn’t appear to be too bothered by it. Instead, he just takes the opportunity to take your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and giving you the softest smile that makes his eyes shine with happiness.

“You two are together?” Jimin asks, his eyes wide as they dart from Seokjin’s face to yours then to your hands and back again. It almost makes you laugh at how surprised he looks and you realise that you at least got some victory in that they didn’t get to do whatever they were planning. Maybe this was the better result anyway.

“Yes. We did want to let you two go ahead with whatever you were going to plan tonight and then ruin it all for you to make up for all the times that you’ve annoyed us but that hasn’t worked.” Sighing, you shuffle a little closer to Seokjin before resting your head on one of his delightfully broad shoulders. He smells just as good as he had this morning and you wish that it was just you two, enjoying each other’s company alone amidst the revelry from everyone.

“Wha...when...when did this happen?” Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to have that outraged tone to his voice, which makes you feel a little better really. As much as you liked him, it was nice to finally have the upper hand this time.

“A few weeks ago. I’d gone to the library to take a book back and talked to Seokjin, telling him about you two and my ‘secret admirer’. Obviously, my ‘secret admirer’ was worried about what you were going to do so came and confessed before you could embarrass him. Or me.” Glancing up at Seokjin, you note his ears are going red again and smile softly, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek.

“We wouldn’t have embarrassed you…” Your younger brother trails off but his awkward expression catches him out, letting you know that they were probably planning exactly that. It’s made even worse by the way Jiwon snorts and rolls her eyes, pushing at Jimin’s shoulder hard.

“Liar, I’ve heard you two. I’m glad you spoiled it,” She grins at you before clapping her hands together in excitement, pure happiness shining from her as she looks you both over. “You’re so cute together!”

Now it’s your turn to feel shy and you press your face into Seokjin’s shirt, causing his chest to rumble as he laughs quietly. Letting go of your hand, he wraps his arm around your waist while carefully avoiding your wings, gently stroking your side in reassurance.

“Wonnie! Why do you always give up so easily?” Jimin pouts, his lower lip pushing out further than you’ve seen it lately while his eyes go wide and glassy at her. It has zero effect on his twin sister though who just sighs heavily before pushing him hard enough to have him falling over.

“I don’t give up easily, I just know when to not make a fool of myself.” She points out, crossing her arms and ignoring her brother’s attempts to get back in her good books. Taehyung doesn’t even try, just looking both Seokjin and you over carefully before sighing and nodding slowly.

“Okay, you ruined our plans. But it doesn’t matter anyway. You’ve done what I wanted, which is you started my big bro!” Now he’s giving you that trademark boxy smile, his excitement almost palpable as he wiggles in place. Watching him with a raised brow, you look up at Seokjin for potential advice but he just shrugs, obviously used to Taehyung’s changing moods.

“You’re not...mad?” 

“Of course I’m not! I kept hinting it because I wanted you to date him. I know I can be annoying but I’m not cruel. I knew Seokjinnie had a big crush on you and he’d be good for you. So I don’t care that our plan failed because I still achieved my goal. Now you just gotta marry.” That has Seokjin spluttering, coughing up the honey water he’d been sipping at carefully until you’re patting his back in amusement.

“Steady, steady.” You murmur to him, trying not to laugh at the aghast way he looks at Taehyung. Eyes flickering over to Jimin, you watch as your own younger brother gets that look in his eyes that says he’s already planning mischief and you sigh deeply.

“You two are having nothing to do with any potential future engagement, do you hear me? Let us be for a while!” You curse at them both, shaking your fist and making Jiwon chuckle. Looking at her, she holds her hands up to placate you while shaking her head.

“Hey! I’m not getting involved in this so don’t get mad at me!” She pleads and you look away from her, lifting a brow as you look from Taehyung to Jimin carefully. Neither of them says anything but you note with a sinking feeling that they’ve both got those carefully neutral expressions painted on their faces.

The expressions that say they’re going to get up to something.

Almost immediately you stand, pulling Seokjin up with almost pure strength while you point at the two mischief-makers with narrowed eyes. “Don’t even think about it. Let us just enjoy the fact that we’re together, do you understand? And don’t you dare pressure Seokjin into anything!”

Grabbing Seokjin’s hand, you quickly walk away through the crowd before you can hear either of their protestations that they wouldn’t even think of doing such a thing. Seokjin doesn’t say anything either, just letting you lead him between people while you both ignore the fact that your obvious closeness was making subtle waves throughout.

Everyone knew everyone in Appleseed after all, so it wasn’t surprising that people noted your newfound affection towards the librarian. Thankfully though, no one was too inclined to say anything and just let you both go until you were on the other side of the grove, close to the aviary.

The soft cooing of the birds as they settled down for the night complemented the now subdued noises from the festival, letting you both feel like you were still part of everything while giving you both your own space. Leaning back against the fence, you carefully shift your wings over the top until they’re resting carefully before letting out a deep sigh that quickly evolves into a groan.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Seokjin cuts you off with a fingertip to your lips, an equally gentle smile on his own as he looks down at you fondly. The lighting isn’t as great here but he still looks beautiful.

“It’s okay Honestly, I’m not the best actor so I wasn’t looking forward to trying to keep a straight face. I’m glad we just got it out there.” His voice is calm and you can tell he’s genuinely not upset at you ruining the plan, perhaps even relieved that you can now both just be together without any of the cloak and dagger behaviour you’ve both been doing.

Although it has been fun to feel young again when you slunk around like you were trying to avoid your parents.

“Yeah...me too. Now we can just...be together. Normally and in the open.” You grin up at him before wrapping your arms around his waist, enjoying the way he feels so solid beneath your hands. Resting your chin on his chest, you close your eyes and simply take in a deep breath, enjoying how peaceful and calm everything seems to be at this moment. How much you just enjoy being around Seokjin, something you hadn’t even realised until you’d started dating.

“You’re happy, right?” Seokjin asks quietly, resting his cheek on your head while his arms come to embrace you around your shoulders. Nodding against him, you give him an affirmative noise as well, unwilling to ruin the moment.

You don’t need him to tell you that he feels the same. The way his arms tighten around you and the soft kiss he presses to your forehead lets you know, causing you to smile as you simply enjoy the moment while the rest of Appleseed Grove celebrates around you.

Despite the annoyance you’d felt at both Taehyung and Jimin only a few months ago with their secret admirer nonsense, you owed them for the fact that Seokjin had finally gotten the courage to tell you his true feelings. Not that you’d ever let them know that of course. But most of all, you were just thankful that Seokjin had decided to come forward.

You may have only been with him for a few weeks now, but you already couldn’t imagine your life without the beautiful fruit pixie in it anymore.

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Happy New Year (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* Can you do one where they are strangers and meet each other during a new years eve party and then end up kissing each other when the ball drops and make it super romantic (not in covid times) pretty please

Written: 2021

Word Count: 2,040

Warnings: Swearing, mention of being roofied, breakup

Masterlist

I sit in the uber, waiting for everyone to get out. Maybe they’ll be too excited about the party to realize that I went home. Maybe I should escape out the other door and disappear into the night. I didn’t even want to come out tonight in the first place. After the year I’ve had, going to an influencer party is the last place I want to attend. Unluckily for me, my best friends were tired of me staying in my apartment all day, every day, and refused to let me ring in the new year alone. Sadly, this meant that I had to go with them to a party because my apartment gave off “depression vibes” and that “wasn’t the move” for 2021. That’s the only thing that I agreed with them on, the vibe thing, not going to a party. 

After nearly a year of quarantine and processing a breakup, my place is a bit of a disaster. If it wasn’t for Janie ambushing me every day last week to help/force me to clean up, my apartment would still look like that cave where the grinch lives— minus Max. There were various alcohol bottles collecting dust on the counter. Not in a “she’s spiraling very rapidly” sort of way, but in a way that you could tell that I had a rough few weeks and the occasional wine night with the gals. There were boxes, mostly from March and April, that I still had yet to throw out after impose buying a bunch of stuff. My closet had turned into my bed because that was the only safe space that wasn’t cluttered with food packaging or tainted by memories that no longer bring me joy. I hadn’t properly seen my floor in months until we pulled back the layer of filth. I forgot that I had carpet. Still, after all that, I managed to make videos every week without fail.

“Y/N, c’mon, you’re not escaping this time. Let’s go so you can forget that asshole and that backstabbing bitch.” Persephone begs as she pulls me out of the car. Once out of the car, she adjusts her long, dark brown curls and smooths out her dress before reconnecting to her boyfriend’s hip. They both match with their gold and black outfits. All of my friends and their significant others match. Ophelia and her girlfriend are wearing silver and blue while Janie and her boyfriend are wearing maroon and gold. They all look like gods and goddesses and here I am wearing green and sliver on my own. Could I be anymore single?

“I’m not going to do it, I was just thinking about it. Don’t worry. I have to get footage for the vlog anyway. Gotta prove that I did something other than stay home this year. My fans are getting concerned.” I pull out my camera and get a few clips of everyone.

“Might as well get some pictures then so people will believe you.”1 Ophelia winks before grabbing me and leading us to what I’m assuming is the designated photo spot. There’s even a line. This is going to be one of those nights.

****

“Aw, fuck…” I mutter to myself as my drink gets knocked out of my hand. This house isn’t big enough for the number of people that were invited. 

“I am so sorry! Here, let me help you.” The guy who bumped into me extends his hand for me to grab. I’m sober enough to know not to take completely random strangers' hands at parties, especially in LA, but I’m also drunk enough to not care. He looks nice enough and I can spot Ophelia and her girlfriend Zoe keeping an eye on me from the corner of the room. I guess everyone is taking turns to make sure I don’t bail.

Against better judgment, I take this beautiful stranger’s hand and let him guide me out of the house to the backyard. It’s less crowded out here, maybe because there are more activities to do inside. Out here, I can actually breathe even though people are smoking and vaping out here. The music is quieter. The music is still loud, but like it would burst your eardrum like the music inside. I get a better look at the guy who brought me out here. He’s not bad looking, and I really hope that’s not the alcohol talking. He has the most relaxing blue eyes I’ve ever seen on a guy. His hair is dark brown with a bit of, I think, purple in the front. He looks as threatening as a pug, but looks can be deceiving.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get any on you did I?” He asks as he scans my body, not in a creepy way. Which is a nice change of pace.

“My feet but they’re just shoes so I don’t care. I call these my going out shoes, they’re made for moments like this so you’re all good. I’m Y/N by the way.” I stick my hand out for him to shake. He looks at it puzzled for a second before it registers and he grabs my hand and gives it a firm shake. 

“Right— I spilled your drink on you and basically kidnapped you from the party and you don’t even know my name. It’s Colby, Colby Brock.” Colby shakes my hand a little too long before quickly pulling it away.

“I’m Y/N, you can get the last name later,” I bite my bottom lip, close my eyes, and mentally slap my head. “That was lame, wasn’t it?”

“It’s fine. It’s a thousand times better than anything I would have come up with. Just blame it on the alcohol.”

We both laugh before Colby singles that he’ll be right back. I watch as Colby disappears a small group of people. I take off my shoes and walk to the pool, dipping my feet in as I sit. The cool night air is soothing me. It’s a nice change from the stale scent of my apartment and the sweaty bodies inside the party. I look up to the night sky. The light pollution makes it impossible to see what stars and constellations are above us. Whatever I’m staring at right now feels peaceful, like they are aligned or not in retrograde. I have no idea what any of that means, but I do know that I’ve been around Ophelia too much.

Colby taps my shoulder when he gets back. He kicks off his shoes and socks before joining me in the pool, not even rolling up his pant legs. He’s going to regret that in a few hours. He hands me an unopened can of Truly. I take it from him and open it myself. At least I know he’s not a creep. He opens a can of White Claw and sips it before breaking the silence.

“I have to be honest, Y/N.” Colby looks forward, taking another sip.

“Oh no, what is it?” I ask nervously.

“The real reason I dropped your drink is because I saw some asshole slip something in your drink.” Colby finally looks at me and I can tell he’s serious.

“Wait…what? Someone tried to… Any you thought the best was to inform me was to spill my drink all over me?” I’m more taken aback by the idea of me almost getting roofied than anything. That would have been the perfect way to end this shit storm of a year.

“In hindsight, I planned to spill your drink. I didn’t mean to get any on you. I’m not a hundred percent sober right now so that was the downside of my plan. Don’t worry about the guy, my friend Corey went after him.”

“Wow— Uh, thank you. I mean it. I don’t think I could have dealt with… that on top of everything else I had to handle this year.” I take a sip of my drink and swing my legs in the water. 

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not big on talking about serious stuff with strangers, so I’ll understand if you don’t want to. However, we’re both getting hammered, if we aren’t already, so the likely hood of us even remembering this conversation tomorrow let alone who we are slim. So if you need to vent, vent.”

I weigh the pros and cons of actually venting everything to this beautiful stranger. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but I decided to say fuck it. The year is almost over anyway, might as well get rid of this baggage and start the year fresh.

“Long story short: after months of quarantining together Axl, my boyfriend of 10 years, cheated on me. The entire time we were in quarantine. With my younger sister, who I let quarantine with us so she wouldn’t be alone and not have to fly back home to be with our parents. And to top it all off, I found out about it on my birthday when I walked in on them fucking each other on my bed.” I take a larger sip of my drink before leaning back and staring back at the virtually starless sky.

“Holy fucking shit,” Colby leans back to join me in looking at the sky.

“Yup! We met in preschool and started dating when we were 13. She’s four years younger than us to that’s annoying.” 

“Not to be that guy, but I don’t know what you expected when you started dating a guy named Axl.”

“… You’re right, that is a pretty douchey name. I literally ignored the biggest red flag in my entire life.”

Colby and I laugh again until it fades. I don’t think I’ve laughed this much, like actually laughed, in months. It feels good. Inside the house, the crowd starts counting down from 15. Colby must have heard it too because I watch him turn his head from the corner of my eye. I turn my head to face him. He really does have beautiful eyes. Like the ocean.

“This may be a dumb idea and I know we don’t know each other, but do you want to be my new years kiss?”

“I may regret this in the future, but what the hell.” We both sit up and adjust our clothes.

It might be risky to just kiss a random stranger at midnight, but who cares. We’re most likely not going to be in each other’s lives after tonight anyway. But by God, I could do much worse than kissing Colby. Unless I’m very drunk and the drunk goggles are seriously fucking with me. It’s not like I’m going home with him, my friends won’t let that happen. Maybe after this party, we’ll go our separate ways and never see each other again. Maybe we’ll run into each other in a random store in LA or at some creator convention.

The drunken yells of party-goers inch closer and closer to midnight.

“Three,” Colby whispers, moving his hair out of his face.

“Two,” I take one more small sip before finally setting my drink down. Colby does the same. My heart is beating a loud, steady rhythm in my chest like it’s about to burst.

“One,” We whisper at the same time before slowly leaning in.

As our lips touch, it felt like time had stopped. The beating intense beating in my heart only intensifies the longer our lips stay pressed together. One of Colby’s hands finds my face why the other reaches for my thigh, but I can only focus on how soft his lips are. My stomach starts forming knots as he tries to deepen the kiss. I don’t know if it’s everything I drank tonight coursing through my veins or the fact that I haven’t been kissed in months, but I slightly part my lips. The mixture of Colby’s scent and his body heat wash over me like they’re intoxicating my senses. The kiss ends just as suddenly as it started. We both pull away and just stare at each other in awe.

“L/N,” I breathe, fixing my hair.

“What?” Colby takes another sip of his drink.

“My last name is L/N.”