#I’ve spend the last few days on this and am really proud of it so expect to see me reblogging it a lot xD

[leafdrake-haven]

Happy first official day of Autumn! The folks from the province of Flamoria on the plane of Perenia are partying it up to welcome Poulios as the great phoenix ushers in the change of seasons. The Cultivator of Ashes, the Bringer of Autumn, the Keeper of Death and Rebirth brings change to the land. Enjoy the start of fall y’all!

[scoonsalicious]

Like A Fairy Tale

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dating Bucky Barnes had been like living a fairy tale, but as he distances himself from you and your relationship, you come to the realization that maybe fairy tales aren't meant to come true.

Warnings: Language to make Steve blush, mentions of alcohol use, implied sex, angst with a happy ending.

Word Count: 3.4k This is my very first posted fic, and I am very nervous but I hope you like it! If I've missed any warnings, please tell me so I can add them. Much love and thanks to my bestie @jmeelee for indulging my obsession and dropping everything to read this when I sent it to her <3 Please pardon any spelling/grammar errors.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3 I write for 18+, so minors DNI. _____________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, being Bucky Barnes’ girl had felt like living in a fairy tale. He was everything your younger self had ever dared to dream of in a Prince Charming– attentive, affectionate, kind, and oh, how he made you laugh! You were the envy of all of your friends, the very definition of #couplegoals, and you thanked your lucky stars every night that the two of you had found one another, despite all the odds.

But fairy tales aren’t real. 

You weren’t sure exactly when it started, but somewhere in the third year of your relationship, after you’d moved into a handsome brownstone in Brooklyn together, after you’d adopted a fluffy white kitten, Bucky started pulling away from you. The steps that took him from you were small at first– he was taking on more and more missions, opting to stay gone for longer periods of time. Days would go by, and they’d turn into weeks, then a month or two at a time would go by where you wouldn’t see him. 

At first, it hadn’t been terrible– Bucky had always made sure to contact you each and every day. A video call whenever he could, a phone call or text when he couldn’t, but slowly, so slowly you barely noticed, the calls stopped coming all together. Sure, he’d answer when you called him… when he could, which wasn’t always possible on a mission, and you hated acting needy and taking him away from his work, so eventually, you stopped reaching out, too. 

When he was home, you were like ships passing in the night. You always offered to take time off of work so you could spend some time with him before he was set to head out again, but he never wanted you to jeopardize your career on his account. Your reunions would always be passionate, but short-lived, a few hot and heavy nights before he took off once more to save the world. 

You tried not to let it bother you. You really, really did. His job was so important. People’s lives relied on him. Where did you get off getting upset over that? So, you kept it to yourself. Until you couldn’t. Not any more.

“Y/N,” your best friend, Lainy, cornered you at her annual New Year’s Eve party, “where’s Barnes? He’s been leaving you to go solo for months now. I don’t think I’ve seen you with him since Mark’s St. Patrick’s Day Party.”

Ouch. “He’s working, Lainy,” you told her, not wanting to admit that March had been the last time the two of you had gone out together, let alone spent more than three days in a row in each other’s company.��

“Yeah, he was ‘working’ over the Memorial Day trip, and the 4th of July BBQ, and Jack and Alice’s wedding, and your aunt’s funeral.” You cringed internally as she applied air quotes to ‘working.’ “And he was ‘working’ on your birthday, and Christmas. Babe, he’s been leaving you alone for almost an entire year. What’s going on? Are you sure there isn’t someone else?”

The worst part was, you knew there wasn’t, or at least, no one individual. When he’d first started distancing himself, of course another woman was the first thing that came to your mind, and you weren’t proud of yourself, but you’d gone through his phone to search for evidence of an affair… multiple times, and repeatedly came up with nothing. And bless Bucky’s heart, but he didn’t have the technological know-how to hide an infidelity from you. Granted, that didn’t negate the possibility that he was randomly hooking up with people while he was away. You’d have to be stupid to not consider the possibility.

You could have asked Steve. You didn’t think Captain America had it in him to lie to you about something like that, but you didn’t want him reporting on your suspicions back to Bucky, nor did you think you could stand to see the look of pity in his eye if he had to tell you that yes, Bucky was cheating on you while you anxiously awaited his return every night. So, you kept the suspicions to yourself. 

Your conversation with Lainy had left you deflated. Here it was New Year’s Eve, and you were alone, the man you loved god knew where– just not with you. How many more holidays and milestones and everyday nights were you going to spend by yourself, waiting for a man who never seemed to want to be home with you anymore? This wasn’t the kind of life you wanted, the kind of life you deserved. 

You made your way to the kitchen to refill your glass of wine. You’d probably already had too many, but you needed to drown the despair that was slowly filling you up. As you poured an exceptionally generous glass, a man entered the kitchen. You recognized him– Harris, a cousin of Lainy’s who had flirted with you relentlessly for years before you had started seeing Bucky. 

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up upon seeing you, “it’s been awhile.” He enveloped you in a friendly hug. “How’ve you been?”

You smiled and exchanged pleasantries, catching up on the overall brushstrokes of your life. 

“I’m sorry about your breakup,” he offered gently, after you’d exhausted the usual small talk.

“My breakup?” you asked, brow piqued.

“Last few events I’ve seen you at, you’ve been alone. I assumed you and Barnes…” he left the thought floating, the implication hanging in the air: Barnes has left you alone, I assumed you broke up.

You huffed out a laugh. God. Was your relationship actually over and you were the only one dumb enough to not see it? 

“If you aren’t seeing anyone,” Harris continued, “I would really love to take you out. You’ve gotta know I’ve been into you for ages, and I figure if I don’t shoot my shot now, who knows when I’ll have another chance.”

You cocked your head and looked at him, taking in his earnest demeanor. Here was a man who genuinely wanted to spend time with you. Why were you waiting on someone who no longer wanted to be around?

“Um, I might have to get back to you on that, Harris,” you told him before excusing yourself. You needed air. 

You found yourself on Lainy’s balcony, the air deceptively mild for the end of December in Manhattan. Alone with your thoughts, you pulled out your phone and dialed Bucky’s number. It went straight to voicemail.

“Someone asked me out on a date tonight,” you said into the recording, your voice choked with tears you didn’t want to shed. “And I think I might say yes, because, honestly Buck, what are we even doing anymore? You’re never here, and I’m always alone. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to not let it get to me, because your work’s important. I know that. I do, and I’m not begrudging you for your job. But… but I can’t keep on like this. I can’t even remember the last time we spent more than three days together. Isn’t that crazy? Three days. Everyone thinks you’re cheating on me. Did you know that? You’re away so much that everyone I know is convinced you’re fucking someone else. Maybe you are, or maybe you already left me, but I’ve been too stupid to notice; if that’s the case, you could have just told me.” 

You kept your composure as you left the message. You weren’t angry at him; you never could be. You were just tired. So tired, and so lonely. 

“All I know is that it’s another night where I’m all by myself, wishing you were here, wanting to talk to you, to feel you, and you’re just… not. You’re off doing something, or someone, more important than me, and I used to be okay with that, but I can’t be anymore. I deserve more than waiting on you, Buck. I deserve to be someone’s priority. I really wish I could have been yours, the way you were mine. 

“So, let’s just call it, okay? Your heart’s obviously not in it anymore, and mine is too tired of being hurt and alone. We’ll have to figure out what to do about the house. I’m keeping Alpine, though. You haven’t been here for her, either, and it wouldn’t be fair of you to take her if you’re never going to be around.”

Inside, you could hear the rest of the party as they counted down to midnight. When they reached zero, the night erupted in fireworks, and you could hear cheers and cars honking their horns throughout the city below you.

“Huh,” you said into your phone, “it’s midnight. Happy New Year, Buck. I hope it ends up being a good one for you, and I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you decide you didn’t want to spend this last one with me.”

You hung up the phone and the tears finally fell as you slid down the balcony railing until you were crouched on the floor. You weren’t sure how long you sat there crying, but eventually Lainy found you, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and ushering you into her spare room. She helped you change out of your cocktail dress and into a spare pair of pajamas, and helped you wash your face before tucking you into bed. She left you with a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead, promising that tomorrow would be better, that the next best chapter of your life was about to begin, but as you drifted into a fitful sleep, you couldn’t find the will to believe her.

You woke the next morning with a throbbing headache, the alcohol and the tears doing nothing but dehydrating you into agony. You grabbed your phone to check the time, but the battery had died in the night. From the slant of the sun coming in from the guest room window, it looked to be late morning or early afternoon. 

You changed back into your dress, thanking Lainy for her help and making a small joke about doing the walk of shame in your clothes from the night before. You avoided her questions about what had happened, promising to go over it at length at the weekend after you’d had some time to process. You weren’t in the best headspace to get into at the moment.

Fortunately, your best friend knew you well enough not to pry, and you said your goodbyes, plans for brunch on Sunday having been made. You weren’t eager to get back home, to be surrounded by reminders of Bucky, when all you wanted was the man, himself. But he was your ex-boyfriend now, you supposed. You were going to have to come to terms with that sooner than later. Besides, Alpine needed to be fed, and you weren’t going to abandon her.

Your keys clicked in the lock as you opened your front door. “Al, baby,” you called, kicking off your heels and closing the door behind you, “Mommy’s home. You hungry, sweetie?”

You began making your way back toward the kitchen when a loud crash from upstairs got your attention. You rolled your eyes; what had the cat knocked over now? 

But then there was the roar of a body barreling down the upstairs hall and toward the stairs, leaving you frozen where you stood. You cast a glance to where you’d left your phone in your purse by the door. Too far away to reach in time to call for help as the intruder came pounding down the stairs. 

A massive figure rounded the corner, nearly knocking you over.

“Bucky?” You blinked, sure your eyes were playing tricks on you, but no– there he stood, and he looked like shit. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and his eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. He’d obviously been wearing the same clothing for at least a day, if not more.

“Y/N,” he breathed, throwing his arms around you and wrapping you in an almost bone-crushing embrace. “Sweetheart, I was so worried.”

“What are you doing here, Buck?” you asked him, pulling away from him. God, you wanted to let him hold you, but you just couldn’t. Not anymore.

Bucky cupped your face in his hands, blue eyes desperately searching yours. “I got your message. Doll, it fucking broke my heart. I came straight home, but you weren’t here, and I was terrified that you were gone; that you’d left me for good.”

You scoffed. “I’m not the one who leaves, Bucky.”

He flinched at your words. “I know, Baby. I know, and ’m so sorry. I had no idea. I shoulda known what leavin’ you so much was doin’ to you, ‘cause it was doin’ it to me, too. When I heard you say that people– that you– thought I was cheating on you, that I had neglected you so much you thought I found someone else, that I could ever love anyone else, ever want anyone else– I’ve never hated myself more, doll. I can’t stand that you even had those thoughts in your head for one second, because it’s always been you. There’s never been anyone else. You’re it.”

“Then why have you been gone?” you asked him in a whisper. “If there’s no one else, and I’m it, why don’t you ever want to be with me? Why do you keep leaving?” 

Bucky ran both his hands along his face. “God, it feels so stupid now,” he said with a sigh. “But I was trying to save–”

“Trying to save the world, yeah, I know,” you interrupted him, annoyed. “Trust me, I’m well aware that I can’t compete with that. But I needed to know you thought we were worth saving, too, and you never did.”

Bucky started laughing then, and you scoffed. “Wow, you don’t have to rub it in, Bucky.”

“No, no– Sweetheart, no!” he shook his head. “That’s not it, at all. Hold on.” He went to the foyer and grabbed his go-bag; you had missed it when you walked in. Coming back to the kitchen, he put it on the table, opening it up and extracting a folded piece of paper and handing it to you.

It was a real estate listing for a farmhouse Upstate, with acreage on the Hudson. You and Bucky had talked about what kind of house you would buy if the situation had ever presented itself, and it was almost as if you’d dreamed it up.

You looked from the paper back to Bucky. “I don’t understand,” you told him.

“It needs pretty extensive renovations,” he told you. “I wanted to take on enough overtime to have the money for them and make a good dent on the mortgage, but it needed more work than I originally thought. And, I have to come clean– I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you about where I’ve been spending all my time.” He looked up at you through his lashes, head bent down in shame.

“But… but, you said there wasn’t anyone else,” you stammered, heart ready to beat out of your chest. 

“Oh god! No, and I mean that! There isn’t, I swear! God, I’ve fucked this up so bad!” Bucky tugged at his hair in frustration. “I’ve been going on extra missions, but sometimes, Sam, Steve, and I go Upstate to do some work on the house, to cut down the costs so I could still make my timeline.”

“You already bought it?” you asked, your voice flat. You were in shock. “You want to move out? Away from me?”

Bucky moaned in distress and drew you to him again. “No! God, I’m doing this all wrong. I want us to move there, together. To make it the perfect house. The perfect home for me, my wife and our stupid fur baby.”

You stilled at his words. “I’m sorry, your what?”

Bucky smiled at you sheepishly as he reached back into his go-bag. “I’ll have you know that I had an entire plan. Was gonna have the house ready by Valentine’s Day. Take you up there as a surprise, ask you properly, but I fucked that up, so…” He brought his hand back out, holding a small burgundy velvet box. He opened it to reveal a vintage engagement ring, a sapphire instead of a diamond. Your favorite stone.

Bucky got down on one knee. “Y/N,” he began as his voice choked up a bit with emotion, “I know I fucked up for the last eight months. I would completely understand if you can’t forgive me, but I need you to know that I love you. I have only ever loved you, and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making up for the fact that, even for a moment, I let you think that you weren’t the most important thing in my life, my number one priority. Will you marry me?”

“Buck…” you began, not sure how to phrase what you were about to say. “What about your job? I can’t keep coming in second to the rest of the world, and I get that it’s selfish of me, but–”

“I quit,” he said simply.

“What?” Your eyes were wide with shock at his statement. 

“The second I heard your voicemail, where you said you wanted to call it because I was never there, I told Steve I was done, that I needed to start putting you first. It wasn’t even a question. I’m officially retired.”

Your mouth hung open. You had hoped he would cut down on his missions, but for him to have quit completely… You gently tugged him to his feet, taking the ring box and running a finger across it.

“It’s lovely,” you told him softly. “Absolutely perfect; exactly what I would have picked for myself.” Bucky beamed at you, pleased. “But I can’t accept it.” His face fell as you gently placed the ring back in his hands. 

“Oh,” he whispered, eyes growing glassy. “I… um, I understand. I fucked up, hurt you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”

“I still want to be with you, you idiot,” you admonished him. “But you did hurt me, and we’ve been apart for a long time. We need time to find our way back to each other again, okay? Ask me again on Valentine’s Day, just like you originally planned. Don’t do it now just because you fucked up.” You leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him. “And if it helps make you feel better, I’m probably going to say ‘yes,’ anyway.”

Bucky grinned at you. “Really?” he asked. When you nodded, he picked you up and spun you in  a circle before pressing his lips to yours as if he hadn’t touched you in months. “I promise you, Sweetheart, I’ll do anything I can to make this up to you, I swear it.”

“Anything?” you asked with a smile. “I think I know where you can start.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked you. “And where’s that?”

“Take me to bed, Bucky Barnes,” you said, kissing him again.

Without a word, Bucky swung you over his shoulder and ran with you up the stairs, your squeals and giggles echoing behind him.

Much, much later, when you lay sated together tangled in limbs and sheets with Alpine snuggled next to your heads, Bucky played with your fingers as you rested your head on his bare chest.

“So, Doll,” he said, kissing the pads of each of your fingers, “you gonna tell me who had the nerve to ask my girl out on a date?” 

You laughed. “Lainy’s cousin, Harris. I suppose I’ll have to text him now and tell him I’m not interested.”

“Hell no, you’re not interested,” Bucky chuffed. “Gonna have to remind that punk you’ve already got a boyfriend. The position has been filled.”

“That’s the thing, though,” you said, planting a kiss on his nose. “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, do I?”

Bucky’s face fell. “But I thought you said–”

“I’ve got myself a fiance.”

Bucky tightened his grip around you, drawing you even closer to his warmth. “Yeah, okay. I gotta admit I like the sound of that a lot better.”

Your entire relationship with Bucky Barnes might not have played out like a fairy tale, but in that moment, you were more sure than ever that you two would get your happily ever after.

[bootsukki]

AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?

aita series masterlist

I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for 4 years more or less. Ever since I’ve known her, I have known that she would do great things in life and she’s currently in the USA working on a huge project — a book about educational methodologies. I’m really proud of her but she’s gone for a few months now and I’ve been missing her a lot more than a thought I would. I am in my last year of university and the stress of exams, deadlines and such is making me kind of sensitive towards things. Now, I’m not the most emotionally expressive person. I don’t do the whole "sharing feelings" thing easily, but the distance has been harder than I expected, and I realized I don’t want to keep feeling like this when we’re apart. I just… want her here with me. So, last night, while we were on the phone, I told her straight up that I miss her, and then (kind of out of nowhere) I said that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. This was a big deal for me because, like I said, I don’t really say stuff like that. AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?

It had been a few months since (Y/N) left for the States, diving headfirst into a research for the book she’d been working on alongside some professors, a project she was incredibly passionate about: new educational methodologies that could revolutionize Japanese education towards learning a second language. She needed to spend 4 months in the US and then continue research at their university and other parts of Japan. Tsukishima admired that about his girlfriend: she was passionate and never had any problems throwing herself into work with so much heart.

But the truth is that being halfway accross the world from her was taking a toll on him. He was grateful for having his other friends around but being in his last year of university without her by his side was making it really hard and he found himself missing her more than expected. Over the years they had been together, he had his own way of expressing his affections towards (Y/N) — kissing the top of her head whenever she walked past him, making her favourite breakfast whenever she stayed at his apartment, quiet I love you’s before going to bed… He didn’t need many words to express how much he loved her. Yet, in her absence, all those things felt incomplete. Her empty side of his bed, the silence in the apartment whenever Yamaguchi was out, dinners eaten alone, sushi for one…

He missed the sound of her voice (even though they spoke on the phone two times a day and sent several voice notes during the day), the feeling of her body moving around his sheets and the gossip she would come home with everyday.

Tsukishima sighed, getting ready for bed and (Y/N)’s morning call. That was another big thing: the 16-hour difference that came between them.

As soon as he got into bed, his phone started ringing and he picked it up without hesitation.

“Hi Kei!”

Tsukishima smiled, noticing her still sleepy voice.

“Good morning, baby.”

He could tell she was tired but her voice was still warm. He laid on his bed, phone pressed to his ear, room dimly lit as he listened to her talk, telling him about the congress she had to attend and her outfit problems.

Usually, Tsukishima would offer snarky remarks towards her comments but she noticed something was wrong.

“Love, you still there?” She asked, voice gentle and soft in case he had fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I'm here," he muttered. His voice sounded lower, softer than usual.

There was a pause. (Y/N) knew him well enough to recognize when something was on his mind.

"Everything okay? You sound… different." He let out a sigh, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. It wasn't like him to be vulnerable, but these past few months had chipped away at his defenses. He didn't like it, but there was no escaping the truth of it. He missed her in a way that felt overwhelming.

"I…" He hesitated, the words feeling foreign, heavy. But he knew he couldn't hold it in any longer. "I miss you. A lot."

(Y/N) was quiet on the other end, probably taken aback by his honesty. Tsukishima wasn't one to openly admit his feelings, but tonight, something in him had cracked open.

"I miss you too," you said softly. "I’ll be back soon, you know that. Only 20 days.”

He nodded, though she couldn’t see him. His heart pounded against his chest as if urging him to say more, something deeper, something he hadn’t quite put into words before. And then, before he could stop himself, it slipped out.

"I want to be with you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "For the rest of my life." The silence that followed felt like an eternity. His heart raced, and he almost regretted saying it. (Y/N) let out a shaky breath, and her shaky voice came through the line,.

"Kei… you really mean that?"

“Baby…” Tsukishima moved around his bed, his back now leaning into his headboard. “Are you crying?”

“Yes, sorry.” (Y/N) sniffed. “Sorry, I…”

Tsukishima felt his heart break and sighed, feeling like a complete asshole for saying something that big on the phone.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Kei, no… I’m happy, I swear, I just—“ Tsukishima heard the soft knocking on the other side on the line. “I need to go. I’ll call you as soon as you wake up?”

“Okay.”

“Text me, okay?”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima bit his lip. “I love you, have a great day.”

“I love you too and I miss you like crazy. I love you, love you, love you. Can’t wait to see you. Sweet dreams.”

“I can’t wait. Love you.”

There was no way he was going to sleep that night.

*****

Baby: look at how cool this building is! Baby: the classrooms inside were insane lol, they showed me a lot of new material look! Baby: *photo attachment* Baby: *photo attachment* Tsukki<3: that is cool Baby: :o it’s 3 am!! what are you doing up? Tsukki<3: can’t sleep, moved to the living room to watch something on netflix Baby: *photo attachment* Baby: go to sleeeeeeeeep (◞‸◟) Tsukki<3: hmmm you are so beautiful Tsukki<3: not that tired, have a lot of my mind Baby: my love Baby: you need to sleep Tsukki<3: are you free? want to see you Baby: no :( i’m about to meet with a linguist rn Tsukki<3: okay Tsukki<3: have fun and take a lot of notes Tsukki<3: *photo attachment* Baby: babyyyyusdksjsnsmwkskc Baby: my handsome baby Baby: miss you miss you miss you Baby: ttyl muack muack *****

After a few restless hours watching a film he was clearly not interest in and trying to write an essay, Tsukishima dozed off, only to be woken up by his phone vibrating next to his ear.

He groggily reached for it, fixing his glasses he had forgotten to take off before sleeping, squinting at the bright screen.

His eyes widened at the big photo of (Y/N)'s contact photo he took and he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he answered.

"Hey."

“Kei…” (Y/N)'s voice was soft, and it already soothed some of the anxiety that had built up since their last conversation. Suddenly, her face appeared on his screen and he smiled warmly at the sight of her. She was back in the hotel room she was staying at during these past days before she had to go back to the "teacher" residences at the university she was conducting her research. "Were you asleep?"

"Yeah." He yawned. "Sorry, I didn't see your texts."

"It's okay." (Y/N) placed her phone on the bedside table and walked around the room, trying to find a clean blouse to change into. "Give me a minute, I just need to change my shirt."

"That's fine."

(Y/N) took off her black t-shirt, the sight of her back and the blue bra she was wearing sending shivers down Tsukishima's back, as if he was a teenager seeing his girlfriend shirtless for the first time. He coughed a little bit as (Y/N) put on the clean blouse and picked up the phone again. "Sorry."

"It's nothing."

"No, no. I'm sorry for crying earlier. I... I got my period this morning and I was overwhelmed."

"Oh."

"Yeah, couldn't even concentrate during the long meeting. Thank God Fujimoto-san was with me the whole time, he took a lot of notes."

"You don't have to apologize for that," Tsukishima said, running a hand through his messy hair. "I... I wasn't expecting to say it out loud. It just... I've been thinking about it."

There was a pause for a second and (Y/N) smiled. "I couldn't stop thinking about it, you know? My not-so-mushy boyfriend Tsukishima Kei saying those big words... It was completely unexpected."

"Yeah, I know."

"But..." Her voice came through, quieter now. "I feel the same. Well, I guess I've always felt it, especially this last year where we have had so many changes. It feels like we have grown so much this past year."

"Yeah, totally."

"I just didn't expect to hear it when I'm halfway across the world from you. And I totally thought I was going to be the one to say it."

Tsukishima let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He needed that confirmation from her. He needed her to say that she felt the same way so he could let his insecurities go away. So that he couldn't finally go to sleep not feeling alone and worried about her and how this stupid distance was slowly killing him inside.

He smiled, leaning back into the couch, suddelny finding comfort in it. "The timing could have been better."

(Y/N) laughed softly, looking at her boyfriend on the other side of the screen. "Maybe. But our relationship is like that and hearing you say it was what I needed."

Tsukishima focused his eyes on her once again, a silence forming between the couple, a silence filled with understanding, love and care for each other.

"I miss you."

"Counting the days to see you."

In typical (Y/N) fashion, she leaned her head on her hand and sighed. "So... was that your way of proposing, or are you saving the big question for when I get back?"

Tsukishima groaned, shaking his head as she laughed.

"Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what, exactly?" She teased, voice more playful. "I'm just asking. I need to be prepared."

"You're insufferable, you know that?" he muttered a smile tugging at the corners of his lips now.

"Hey, that totally sounded like a proposal, you know?" she replied, clearly enjoying herself.

Tsukishima rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was smiling now. “For the record, I’m not proposing over the phone. I have more class than that.”

“Oh?” She giggled softly. “So you’re saying it’s coming, then? Noted.”

He let out a tired chuckle, the tension completely gone now. "You’re impossible. Before even proposing, we should finish university and move together."

"I wouldn't mind that."

Tsukishima smiled widened. "Moving with me?"

(Y/N) shrugged, blushing slightly.

"It would be..."

"Nice, right?"

"Tsukishima Kei, this isn't a proposal but are you asking me to move in with you?"

“I want you to move in with me when you get back,” he said, the words rushing out before he could second-guess them.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line, and his heart thudded in his chest. But then the silence was broken by a quiet, disbelieving laugh.

“Wait… are you actually serious?” (Y/N) asked, voice shaky with surprise.

He let out a long breath, raking his fingers through his hair, trying to sound casual even though his heart was racing. “You heard me. I want you to move in with me. This whole long-distance thing... I hate it. And I don’t want to spend another day apart when you come back. So, move in.”

For a moment, there was nothing but quiet breathing on the line, and he felt his stomach twist. But then, through the screen, he saw her face light up, eyes wide with disbelief and joy. And before he knew it, she was on her feet, jumping up and down in the hotel room like she couldn’t contain herself.

“Are you serious?!” she squealed, still bouncing around, a huge grin plastered across her face. “Kei, are you serious right now?!”

Tsukishima leaned back on the couch, watching (Y/N) through FaceTime with a grin that he couldn’t quite hold back. She looked so ridiculously happy, practically glowing, and it made his heart swell in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m not joking, am I?”

She was still jumping, excitement overflowing as she let out a little scream of happiness as tears ran through her cheeks, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh my God! Kei! Yes, of course, I’ll move in with you! I am crying because... because you just made me the happiest woman in the world."

He couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest as he watched her practically bouncing off the walls. “You’re going to break something at this rate,” he teased, his voice lighter than it had been in weeks.

“I don’t care!” she shot back, grinning ear to ear as she finally stopped jumping, catching her breath. “I’m so happy right now, I could scream it from the window! Oh my God, we are actually going to live together, what the hell? We need to plan a lot of things."

Tsukishima smirked, shaking his head again, but the warmth in his chest remained. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t get too excited. I don’t have that much closet space.”

"Are we going to live in your apartment? Or should we share mine? Well, we have to think about your future work at the museum and Yamaguchi and Yachi. Oh, also the fact that I'll spend another year at uni trying to complete the book. Maybe we should look for one-bedroom apartments around the area, right? Actually, one-bedroom apartment may be small for us, something with at least two bedrooms. Oh! We can use that second bedroom to do a office space for both of us! Yamaguchi is leaving the apartment anyway, right? Well, we'll see." She laughed, rambling already about future plans, her joy so contagious that it made Tsukishima's heart feel lighter than it had in months. “While we look for apartments, you better clear out some drawers for me. I'm not moving from your apartment the second I get back in Japan!”

He couldn’t help but smile, the sound of her laughter filling the empty apartment through his phone. For once, the distance didn’t feel so suffocating.

The idea of her being with him, of her sharing the same space every day, made the months apart seem worth it. It made the wait bearable, knowing that soon, she’d be coming home not just for a visit, but to stay with him forever, he hoped.

“I miss you, Kei,” she whispered, voice almost breaking through the distance between you. “I can’t wait to come home to you”

“I miss you too,” he said, the words easier now. "I always do."

*****

User 1.

YTA. Sorry but saying that while she's away is just going to hurt both of you. I feel like you should have waited until she's back home.

User 2.

I feel like I'm missing some context here. What did she say after you mentioned it? Btw, when are you proposing? that totally sounded like a proposal, do you have any idea? haha

(OP) tsuk113_: I'm getting to answer this after she's finally back home, sorry haha. Well, she started crying. I got really stressed about it because we couldn't talk that much afterwards but she called as soon as she could and we talked about it. Some big changes are happening in our lives at the moment but they are really good and I'm excited about them.

About the proposal... We'll see. Soon? haha

User 2.

Cool! Happy for you, man! YTA-ish at the beginning but not now lol

[merrybloomwrites]

HS4 at Midnight?

Summary: Harry's performance with Stevie Nicks has his fans wondering if HS4 will be announced soon. Little do they know that you and Harry have other exciting news to share.

Word Count: 770

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Harry steps out wearing his suit, you get hit with a wave of nostalgia. It’s been nearly a year since he’s last been on stage, and what a year it’s been. So much has happened in your lives, and miraculously, Harry’s fans still haven’t figured it out. 

They’ll know soon, though. But the secret is safe for a little bit longer.

“Can you help with the pin?” He asks, and you quickly straighten the bird he’s wearing in honor of Christine. 

“How are you feeling?” you ask.

“Excited. And nervous. I always love singing with Stevie. But it’s been so long, and I just know my fans are gonna go crazy. It’s been so calm lately,” he answers.

“I know, I love our little bubble too. But I really think it’s the time to pop it, don’t you agree?”

“You’re right, as always,” he says and presses a kiss to your lips. 

After another few minutes you leave Harry’s side so he can head backstage. You join Gemma and the rest of Harry’s friends who are there to watch. 

When he comes onstage you stick close to his sister. You’ve become so close, especially lately, and you’re truly both a bit emotional watching Harry sing with one of his idols. Neither of you do a great job holding in the tears of overwhelming pride seeing him up on that stage.

After the show is over you and Harry head back home, choosing to ignore social media for the moment. But you can’t help checking the next day, and one thing in particular catches your eye.

“They’ve all got a theory,” you say to him, providing no context.

“Who?”

“Your fans. They seem to have noticed a pattern.”

“Ah, and what would that be?”

“That you always do a performance like this and then announce a new album right after. So far I’ve seen about twenty people saying ‘HS4 at midnight?’”

Harry laughs and replies, “Oh they have no idea what’s about to go down.”

You’re about to respond when a sound distracts you, pulling you away from the conversation. 

A few more days pass and you walk into the living room to see Harry on his phone, giggling and typing.

“What are you doing?” you ask. He doesn’t answer, just turns his phone to you so you can see what he’s up to. He’s on instagram, making a story to post to his main account. It’s just a black screen with the eyes emoji and the word “tomorrow”.

“Oh you are so mean,” you say, laughing right along with him. 

“It’s fun to tease them, just a little bit. And see all their theories. I wonder if anyone will guess right.”

“A couple might. I mean, most will guess new album but there will definitely be some who think differently.”

“We’ll know soon,” he says as he officially posts his story. The views come a second later, and within minutes people are posting all over the internet, excited to finally hear from Harry after a year away.

The two of you spend time that evening crafting the announcement post, choosing just the right pictures and caption. You hope that people won’t be disappointed, but try not to think about the potential negative responses. Rather, you and Harry focus on the excitement you know will come.

The next morning, after a quiet family breakfast, Harry looks over the post one last time before sharing it with the world. 

Under a series of photos of your beautiful family, all posed just right to hide your newborn daughter's face, is the caption “Baby Styles. Out now. This past year has been the most exciting time in my life. Becoming a father has been a truly wonderful experience. To my wife, thank you, thank you, thank you, for this gift. I am so impressed by you, so proud of the mum that you are, and I cannot wait for us to watch this little girl grow up together.”

For the rest of the day, you and Harry keep an eye on the comments while taking care of your two month old. As expected, some people are disappointed by the lack of new music, but the response is overwhelmingly positive. Everyone is excited that Harry is officially a girl dad, and the word ‘congratulations’ is written so many times it starts to look fake. 

That evening, you settle in for your favorite concert of all time. This one happens every night, and it’s just for you and your little one. As Harry croons to your daughter, you grow impossibly more fond of this man.

[hiraethwrote]

VENT SESSION LETS GOOOO — you’re allowed to scroll if you don’t care mwah

i spend an ungodly amount of hours on this app, and i look at you as my friends so just want to let you guys know

i am also a very nosy person myself, so seems only fair i share my own situation. but if you don’t care about all this, you can just keep scrolling. i honestly don’t mind lol

anyways… a few weeks ago, i told you guys i was going through something that was kinda heavy — yeah my bf and i were going through some stuff and started seeing someone professionally… we broke up

there was an understanding that this might be outcome when we first opened up this can of worms, and there turned out to be a lot of underlying issues that both of us had refused to acknowledge

it was definitely a mutual decision. though it’s a hard pill to swallow, we came to the conclusion it was the best for the both of us

we want such vastly different things in life, things neither of us should compromise on. to me, life came at me a lot faster than i anticipated and felt like there were things left unexplored — and neither of us want to hold the other person back from what we want

however, this is a person i have been with for six years, a quarter of my life. there’s obviously a lot of shared history which is hard to let go of. it’s also so incredibly painful when we’re not splitting due to lack of affection and love for the other person, but because our desires and wants in life just don’t align

he is still my best friend, and because of how our life situation is, we will continue living together as we have been doing for the past three years (he only lives here half the time due to work), until i move across the country when summer comes. we’re also going to celebrate christmas together because it just feels right lol

i would say i am doing as well as i can… we are obviously on good terms, but this is probably one of the hardest things i’ll go through. it is the biggest heartbreak of my life. but that is really just a sign that the time we’ve shared together haven’t been a waste. we can be proud of the fact that we’ve been honest, faithful, respectful and kind throughout the entirety of our relationship, to the point where this is so hard even though it’s the right decision

obviously, i am very scared of the path that lies ahead. he has been by my side for the better half of a decade, and i have the privilege of exploring things on my own. it’s obviously what i have been missing in my life, so i am excited for what’s to come, but terrified of living a life he’s not going to be such a big part of anymore

but things are going to be fine. idk how long it will take, i am suspecting very long, but i know in my bones this is for the best for us both. so with time, i will be happy

and not to worry, i have a fantastic support system. i have incredible friends who are there for me. i am lucky to have a family who is not guilting me about leaving a long term relationship, despite also being sad. and i’ve learned i have a great community on here who has showed so much kindness, and i am so grateful <3

that being said — i am not planning on taking a break from tumblr lol. if anything, i am starting to get out of my writers block. this past week i have written more than i have the last month so that’s good! i think i might try and be a little more productive than i have been the past few weeks (at least i hope so, work is picking up again hehe)

not putting this out here for sympathy or anything, but just a little update. i am interested in the lives of those i follow, so maybe some of you are interested in mine

wishing everyone a nice weekend 🫶🏻 i got work in the morning (day after the breakup that’s fun)

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Dear Diary♡

Heyyy girliesss this week has been super crazy for me and I need to spill lol <333

♡Education♡

This week was so exhaustingggg. Taking six classes this semester is a bit more exhausting than it was last semester. I am a bit confused in my psychology statistics class. The professor has a me a bit confused but he is so nice! That’s the only the thing that sucks is how nice he is but he isn’t the best explainer for someone with my learning style. My bio class is going well but so much notes and stuff to learn I just can’t. But I got this I know I do I just need to pull through this semester and then I’ll be free in December. I love school when I’m not in school but hate it when I’m in school. I love the structure school gives my life.

♡Mental♡

I had my first counseling session for the semester it was so amazing my new counselor is amazing she is so relaxed and I definitely feel like a click with her. I had a man last semester and I am so happy I didn’t force myself to stick with him he wasn’t a terrible person but he wasn’t what I needed in a counselor. I needed a woman, someone who understood me and I could be vulnerable with I didn’t feel comfortable enough to cry in-front of him and I felt like he didn’t know how to help me. Mentally I’ve been in a healthy space challenging myself and my ways of thinking every single day it’s tough some days and amazing others but that is life.

♡Physical♡

I’ve been walking an hour every single day and I’m so proud of myself! Hitting close to 10,000 steps. I am not focused on the number of steps I’m more focused on the time I spend walking everyday. I’m going to start Pilates again soon and I’m super excited to start Pilates. I’ve been slowly working my way into my fitness these past three weeks it’s been walking consistently for an hour a day and in two weeks it’ll be an hour of walking a day and Pilates three times a week. Slow and steady wins the race. Resetting my fitness journey was the best thing I’ve done for myself. If you’d love a blog post on this let me know.

♡Hobbies♡

I am currently thinking of taking up a few new hobbies. I went hiking this weekend it was so much fun!! I met so many nice people and had such nice conversations. I walked a lot we didn’t really “hike” we walked around a beautiful large park that was filled with large gardens and fountains it was beautiful. I met another hijabi we conversed about hormones, studies I found online, careers, college and so much more. There were other amazing kind people as well. I can’t wait for our next hike! I need to go shopping for more “Nike hijabs” and hiking friendly clothing for hijabi’s because I can not pass out lol. I plan on joining more clubs that pique my interests<3333

Have an amazing weekend my lovessss and continue to affirm yourself, push yourself, and enjoy yourself. You are right where you need to be in life right now and you should enjoy every bit of It love youuu girliesss<33333

[purfectstormzz]

Risk it all | Bradley Will Simpson x reader (social media au)

Summary: in which actress y/n y/l/n finally moves on after a failed relationship.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x ex!reader, Bradley Will Simpson x fem!reader

A/n: I love making these things. By the way no hate to Charles but I just needed an ex boyfriend :)

Masterlist

2020

Instagram.com

Yourusername

Liked by CharlesLeclerc, Carlos Sainz and 568000 others

Yourusername: Happy anniversary honey. I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you❤️❤️

Tagged: CharlesLeclerc

Comments have been limited:

CharlesLeclerc: Happy anniversary mon amour❤️

Twitter.com

Yourusername

Liked by SebastianStan, CarlosSainz and 879000 others

Yourusername: The last couple of months have been an emotional rollercoaster but after these few heavy months I can finally share it all with you guys. We worked so hard on this movie and now it’s finally yours. I hope you guys enjoy it! I love you all🩶

Comments:

SebastianStan: One of my favourite movies that I’ve ever made. Thank you y/n for being such an amazing costar and friend😊

*Liked by yourusername

FlorencePugh: Congrats girly. I’m so proud of you❤️❤️

*Liked by yourusername

CarlosSainz: Can’t wait to watch it! We miss you around the paddock😊

> yourusername: I miss you guys too😕

2023

Instagram.com

Yourusername added to their story

Caption: Beach day with my boys☀️🌊

Twitter.com

Instagram.com

Yourusername

Liked by BradleyWillSimpson, CarlosSainz and 5647000 others

Yourusername: 3 years ago I met a lovely guy when I was filming a movie in London. I just got out of a 3 year relationship and I wasn’t ready to start anything new yet. Bradley and I became really good friends and I always loved spending time with him. After a year I realized that I was ready for a new relationship. 2 years later I’m still the happiest person in the world. Words can’t describe how grateful I am for this guy. Bradley Will Simpson I love you so so much. Thank you for saving me❤️❤️

Tagged: BradleyWillSimpson

Comments:

BradleyWillSimpson: Y/n Y/l/n I am so lucky to have you. I am so head over heels for you. I want to spend every day with you. I love you so so much❤️❤️

Y/nFan: OMG this is so cute 🥰

Y/nswife: Mom and dad🫶🏼

FlorencePugh: congrats girly. You deserve it😙

[farfromstrange]

A small update from yours truly—and a little over sharing, so I’m putting it under the cut.

I've been in an awful mindset these past couple of weeks since I was diagnosed with PCOS. I haven’t talked about it yet because it’s hard for me to even think about. But the fatigue and the pain are getting worse again, even with the supplements I’m taking so far, and I wanted to share it with you so you know what’s going on. My doctor referred me to another doctor, but the earliest they could get me in was January. Until then, I have to deal with the symptoms on my own. I honestly thought once I knew what was wrong I’d get better, but learning that chronic illness is actually chronic is a really hard pill to swallow. It’s manageable once you figure shit out, but getting a doctor’s appointment these days and being taken seriously when you can’t stomach birth control is like the Hunger Games. You have to be really fucking insistent when you want to get things done.

I’m still slowly working my way out of my writer’s block, and I'm proud of myself for getting there. I'm trying not to set expectations for myself and just take it one day at a time, which is working so far. I think I’m writing more consciously now, too. As someone who needs to create because she has too many thoughts it can get frustrating to burn out so quickly, but at least I’m starting to have fun with writing again (thanks to the DDBA trailer I’m still not over and it’s been idk how long you guys feel me).

On a slightly better note though, and the reason I’m writing this is that I’ve been spending the past two weeks since my last post preparing for vacation. I’m flying to Croatia on Sunday for a few days, which I very much need after the year I’ve had so far. I’m taking the time to recharge before I have another module exam at the end of September. So, I probably won’t be posting a lot the next two weeks, BUT I am writing. I just don’t have enough time to edit anything to the point I can comfortably post it. I will, however, use the time I have to catch up on some reading and do some reblogging. It’s a good use of my flight time, plus my parents will be driving back so I’ll have twelve hours to kill in the car. And who knows, maybe I can finish at least one update before I have to head to the airport. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not gone again, I just really need that vacation before I have my last exam this semester. After that, I have almost three weeks of nothing, which means I'll be able to focus on myself, my health, and my writing.

I’m also writing this to tell you guys I will definitely be participating in Kinktober again this year, though I decided to put a little twist to it. Last year was fun, but I want to do it a little differently this time. I’m currently working something out, and the announcement will come sometime in the next couple of weeks!

Maybe a different climate will give me some more writing inspiration, too. Thank you guys for reading this far. Take care of yourselves 🤍

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Criminal Minds July  Prompt List - Summer Vacation

All photo credits at the end

Good evening loves! We made it to June and Happy Pride Month! Here are some more Summer Prompts for July. This prompt list is inspired by the always amazing, @imagining-in-the-margins, who always make the best prompt lists. Her current prompt list can be found here (linked). I won’t write for all of my prompts, but I might for a few. I decided to go with a theme for these July Promts and it is Summer Vacation, and there are a few in here that I am very excited about.

The rules for using these prompts are that there are no rules! You could use any Criminal Minds characters, OCs, reader inserts, etc. You could draw, write, make mood boards, or imagine anything else. I have included 31 prompts for each day of the month. I also get inspiration from plain old words, so I’ve included 10 Summer words that might inspire something. Lastly, I’ve included a few dialog and art prompts too. If any of these prompts inspire you to create, I’d love to be tagged to see what you have made. This is all just for fun. I wish everyone a great start to the month. Please know I’m proud of you wherever you are right now - Love Levi ❤️

You can find all the prompts below the cut

General Prompts

Characters A and B plan their first summer vacation together as a couple. 

Character A accidentally picks up Character B’s matching suitcase at the airport. What they find inside is a surprise. 

At a wedding on the beach, a fem presenting member of the BAU catches the bride’s flower bouquet and makes eye contact with Character B. 

At a wedding on the beach, a masc presenting member of the BAU catches the bride's garter and makes eye contact with Character B. 

A swimming suit mishap at the pool leaves Character A in an awkward position until Character B comes to the rescue. 

Spin the bottle with any members of the BAU when they might have had a bit too much to drink. 

After an incident last year with fireworks on the 4th of July, the BAU received an in-service on fireworks safety from the department. 

Character A finds a piece of jewelry they really like at a market but doesn’t want to spend the money on it, so Character B buys it for them as a surprise. 

Explain what Emily’s ‘Sin To Win’ story is. 

Character A finds out that they need to wear glasses and feels insecure about it, but Character B lets them know that they are as beautiful as they have ever been. 

Spring Break with the BAU. 

A member(s) of the BAU must go undercover at a summer frat party. 

While on a road trip, Character A looks over at a sleeping Character B and realizes they are in love with them. 

Character A learns how to surf, Character B is their instructor. 

For Character A’s milestone birthday, the team goes skydiving. 

Character A has a secret hobby/talent that Character B discovers and supports. 

Character A eats a popsicle in a ‘certain way’ in front of Character B to make them flustered. 

Jack catches his teacher with an ‘adult drink’ at dinner and asks Aaron if they can have that?  

Characters A and B decide to spend some money and have a staycation at home. 

When Character A gets misgendered at a water park, Character B is quick to step up and support them. 

Character A learns how to rollerskate during the summer and Character B can’t stop taking pictures and videos of them. 

Character A gets kidnapped by an Unsub on their vacation and the team comes to save them. 

Character A sees Character B without their shirt for the first time because it’s just so hot. 

Character A and B make icecream with a BAU kid. 

BAU water balloon fight. 

Crossover BAU and NCIS case. 

Only one bed troop with Charater A and B. 

Character A loses something special and Character B tries to find them something else. 

Character A and B are having a rocky patch in their relationship, so they take a week apart and realize just how much they need each other. 

Characters A and B announce a pregnancy to the team. 

A BAU kids first dance where Characters A and B get over involved. 

Word Prompts

Heatwave

Drunk

Chapstick 

Cherries 

Sleep 

Files

Snow Cone

Lake 

Alone 

Risque 

Dialog Prompts 

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” 

“Alright, who put on “Last Friday Night’ by Kary Perry?” 

“No, no, no __________, no more adult juice, let’s get you some water instead.” 

“... Thanks for the offer, but I don’t drink. Could you get me a _________ instead?” 

“Hey kiddo, it’s time to get up. Remember we’re going to Disneyland today.” 

“Well, sorry to tell you you’re tires not going to take you any farther. Would you like me to put on your spare for you?” 

Art Prompts

Any BAU character with a silly sunburn. 

Any BAU member in funny sunglasses. 

Any CM character at the beach. 

Any CM kid on their last day of school.

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

Taglist: (🩷) @tgskitten @geminitapestry @silk-spun @alicewonderao3

Want to be added to my tag list? Please check out this post (linked) 

Want to send in a request? Please check out this post, CM Request Post (linked)

Photo credits

Top: Left (@whoisspence) Center (@honeyrosepetals) Right (@flowersforfrancis)

Middle: Left (@cocaineheartz) Center (@littlecarmine) Right (@earlydawnings-blog)

Bottom: Left (@earlydawnings-blog) Center (@autumncottageattic) Right (@emilyinsuits)

[priderock-inc]

Shenzi's Den

Lost in busily regretting every life choice that has led him here, Zazu nearly misses the building.

The skies open up just as he enters the upscale apartment building; pouring bucket after bucket of rain onto the pavement outside as he glances around the foyer, trying to find the elevators without making eye contact with anyone. 

It’s a nice place. A very nice one, all cool grays and muted accents and paneled walls. There aren’t any signs, which Zazu could really make use of, but he manages to locate the elevators after a surreptitious bout of glancing around. 

Stepping into an unoccupied lift, he consults his phone for the fifth time.

4th floor suite B, 2nd door after you turn left

Thanks a lot, Sarabi. 

He reaches the fourth floor without incident, turns left, and there’s the door. Zazu listens carefully, hoping for a clue as to what he might find inside, and then sighs deeply.

He knocks.

Silence.

He waits ten seconds and knocks again.

The door swings open, and Zazu nearly drops his file.

Skull-shaped clips is the first thing he registers, hot pink and thoroughly incongruous, nestled in Scar’s hair and pinning the long locks back from his face. Open-collar white shirt is next, followed by fang necklace and-

“Zazu?” Scar's usual drawl is slightly nonplussed, effectively jolting the advisor back into the present. He blinks. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”

Oh. Right. Zazu holds out the file, hoping his hands aren’t shaking. “I’m just here to drop this off.”

Scar makes no move to take the papers. “On a weekend? Do you ever stop working?”

“I- y-" With a monumental effort, Zazu gathers his shredded composure. “I will have you know that I wasn’t doing anything else today anyway and Sarabi asked me to give you these. Which, I might add, she says you left in the office last week.”

Scar’s lips form a thoughtful moue. Zazu fixes his attention very firmly on a particularly fascinating section of doorpost.

“Never mind. Well, come in. I’ve got company at the moment, so what’s one more?”

“I’ve got to get going.”

“You just said you weren’t doing anything else today.”

And with that, he saunters back into the apartment, not bothering to look and see if Zazu is following him. 

Zazu follows anyway. 

The place isn’t decorated in as modern a style as downstairs, but it’s certainly no less elegant. Zazu tries not to peer too obviously about. Deep green carpeting, clawed furniture in a luxurious dark wood, several rare-looking volumes on the bookshelf near the window against the far wall. An expensive-looking camera on a tripod in the middle of the room, standing a few feet away from a salon chair and a small, high worktable heaped with what looks like cosmetics and makeup tools. Shenzi’s puttering around these last three; Ed is on the floor tinkering with some black plastic strips and wires and a small remote.

“You’ll have to excuse the mess,” Scar says, gesturing at his other two visitors and then, somewhat ruefully, at his head. “And these clips. I’m just helping Shenzi with a little project.”

Zazu coughs. “I… see.”

“You know, it was only yesterday that Mufasa was encouraging me to ‘stop spending so much time cooped up all by yourself’. Here I am, hosting not two but three workmates in a single day. I can just imagine how proud he’s going to be.”

“Scar, whattaya doin’- hey!”

A weak greeting is all Zazu can manage before a bolt of lightning streaks across the window, its intensity matched only by the glare of sheer annoyance that Shenzi levels at him. Ed looks up and waves. 

“What’s he doin’ here?” Shenzi whines.

“The poor thing is being worked to the bone,” Scar replies briskly, sauntering over to the salon chair and perching himself on one of the armrests. “And to think it’s begun to rain- we can’t possibly let him out in such a downpour. Make yourself at home, Zazu.”

“I really need to get going.”

“But Scaaar, we were doin’ a video,” Shenzi complains. “My viewers are countin' on me! Do you know-“ she turns to Zazu- “how long I’ve been workin’ on gettin’ him to agree to be in this makeup demo?!”

“I really can’t imagine, but-”

“You can stand here.” She steers Zazu behind the tripod with a surprising amount of force. “Make sure nothin’ weird gets on camera, okay? Like if somethin’ happens in the background or out the window or whatever. Then we can stop and do a retake.”

“I’m hardly qualified to babysit a cosmetics tutorial,” Zazu says tartly and, if he’s being honest, just a little desperately.

“Yeah, well, neither is Banzai, not that he showed up to help. So it’s gotta be you. Aren’t you, like, super good at catchin’ mistakes? C’mon! Don’tcha wanna watch me turn Scar into a-“

“No, I most decidedly do not!”

Scar pouts. “Zazu, you wound me.”

Shenzi grabs the back of the chair, shoves Scar into it, and spins it around so Scar’s facing away from the camera. “Less chatter and more makeup-in’, guys. Scar, no movin’ till I say, remember? Hey, Zaz, we’re already rollin’, right?”

“What- live? Shenzi, I did not agree to-"

“Nah, we’re gonna edit it all together at the end. Ya don’t even have to be in it, so can you please chill out already? Okidoke, Ed, hit it!”

Ed presses a button on his remote, and neon-green smoke spirals forth from the black strips on the floor. 

“Hey hey heyyy, whassup and welcome back to Shenzi’s Den! It’s ya girl, the fierce, the fabulous, the bone-afide beauty Shenzi Marie, coming at’cha again with some hot new stylin’ tips on this rainy Sunday. As you might’a noticed, we’re not actually in my den today... and that’s ‘cause I’ve got a suuuuuuper special surprise for my favorite viewers! Well, not so much a surprise if you read the video title. Can you say... guest! Of! Honor?!”

Ed hits the fog machine again. Zazu has to admit the overall effect is impressive.

“Yeah, that’s right! We got a brand-new canvas to play with today. Wanna say hi, Scar?”

Scar spins around to face the camera, raising one hand and wiggling his fingers in a leisurely wave. “Hello, YouTube.”

He winks at the camera, making eye contact with Zazu, and smirks. 

“So remember that lewk y’all have been beggin’ me to try out?" Shenzi grins into the camera and begins ticking off on her fingers. "Dramatic, edgy, bone-chillin’ fierce? I’ve just been waitin’ for this guy-" she thumps both hands onto Scar’s shoulders- “to finally let me show him off a little. We’re talking smoky, sultry, angles, color, the whooooole shebang! So it’s everyone’s lucky day, especially his-" she claps Scar on the shoulders again- “because this look is gonna knock your socks off!”

“Explains where all my laundry has been going,” Scar drawls, and Shenzi cackles. 

“Yeah, yeah. Personally I think the dryer’s out to get me, and Banzai has this whole conspiracy about aliens. Okidoke! So first we’re gonna do some moisturizin’. We’ve got the same sponge as last time, link in the description below, but always make sure ya clean it off well in between uses...”

She reaches for one of the innumerable pots on the little table and begins smearing white stuff onto Scar’s face. 

Much of what follows flies entirely over Zazu’s head. He has no idea what ‘priming’ and ‘foundation’ are, or why ‘matte’ versus ‘gloss’ matters, but he certainly gets some of it; Shenzi’s delighted exclamations about her favorite Outlander Eyeliner that she’s planning to use (“ We’re talkin’ black as my soul on a Monday mornin’, people!”), and as for “these cheekbones could cut glass! ”, well. 

“Now onto my favorite part! We’re really gonna make these peepers pop. Gonna be using this palette here for that olive-gold royal vibe with a little emerald smoke for flavor, and of course, we’re gonna highlight that signature scar."

“Ah, yes, my pièce de résistance.” Scar lets his eyes fall shut. “Smoke away.”

Blacks, browns, golds, and greens fly from Shenzi’s brushes. Zazu sincerely hopes nothing has been happening in the window that he’s supposed to be catching, because he hasn’t been watching the window at all.

“Villainous!” Shenzi cheers. “I mean, I am magic! Okidoke, guys, we’re gonna craft some wings now, these babies are gonna cut through steel-”

“Or mountains of paperwork, perhaps,” Scar adds lazily, winking again. He tilts his chin slowly upward to give Shenzi a better angle. “If only.”

Zazu exhales. It’s going to be a long afternoon. 

[your-local-hoemie]

Making out with thoma and tugging on his soft hair mgmfgnfmfmf

Woof woof bark bark-

I like your brain very much yes yes!

This isn’t smut but I still don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting so please avoid if you’re under 18

Warnings: suggestive, making out, grown-up touches, Gn!reader, established relationship, not proof-read.

Characters: Thoma.

It was a warm summers day in Inazuma and the streets were bustling with busy people, going about their day and the atmosphere was buzzing with energy.

You had decided to take a stroll along the harbour to take in the cool sea breeze against your skin and sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks.

It had been a few days since you last saw your boyfriend; Thoma. Inazuma’s well renowned “fixer” and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him dearly.

So when you happened to catch a glance of the friendly ginger helping some sailors with their cargo, (yes he’s still ginger. Fight me) you were ecstatic to say the least!

“Thoma!” You could hardly hold yourself back as you rushed over to his side, wrapping your arms around him with a elated giggle.

“Y/N? What are you doing here??” Thoma replied while a grin beamed across his face at the sight of his beloved in his arms.

“I was just taking a walk and then I saw you and couldn’t resist coming over and saying hello! I’m not keeping you from your work am I?”

“No, don’t worry. I’ve just finished up actually. If you’d like I’d be more than happy to spend the rest of my free time with you!”

With that, the two of you ventured off into the bustling streets all while catching up on the time that you both had missed out on together.

As the sun started to set in the horizon, you both found yourself situated underneath a maple tree overlooking the city.

“You know, you should be really proud of yourself, Thoma. You’ve done so much for this place and the people in it”

Thoma gave you a bashful chuckle, pink dusting his cheeks at your words.

“I really don’t do that much. I just help out where I can. But thank you for your kindness, love”

He was always so humble. You couldn’t help but find this to be an adorable aspect of his personality.

The way his cheeks flushed red whenever you gave him a compliment and the way he’d always give out a little embarrassed giggle, always had a way to make your heart to little flips in your chest.

Unable to resist the beautiful man laying next to you. Dying sunlight giving him an enchanting glow while the soft grass framed his face perfectly. You propped yourself up on your elbow and without any warning; you pressed your lips tightly against his.

Thoma froze for a brief moment at your unexpected action before melting into your affections unable to resist the urge to lay you down on the grass on your back, taking his place on top of you with his lips growing more desperate in the heat of the moment.

The more your lips intertwined with each other, the more everything else around you melted away as your bodies pressed against each other in a beautiful synchronisation of love for each other.

Feeling the heat in your body build up, you couldn’t help but let your hand find its way up to his soft, silky locks. Letting the strands of his sun kissed hair wrap around your fingers, giving it a gentle tug he couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.

After a few more minutes you finally pull away, both of you breathless and flushed from the impromptu make out session; you could see the blush plastering his pretty face as his sense come back into play.

“You’re such a troublemaker Y/N. What if someone caught us?”

“Then I’d proudly show them that you belong to me~”

I hope this is accurate because I don’t know how making out works :)

Also I had to rewrite this entire thing because tumblr went weird and didn’t save it istg T^T

[lifeascaty]

I've been away from tumblr for a few months. In October 2021, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. He already followed me on tumblr, so I filled my feed with things he would like so he had something new and interesting (or a cute cat) to see every day. (I was already posting a lot for him, but now my queue was entirely for him.) It was a small thing, but I wanted to do anything to help make him smile or distract him. As it was a neuroendocrine cancer, there were treatment options, and soon he was back to living life as if nothing was wrong. But I still kept my queue running for him. In November 2023, a scan was misread. They told my Dad his cancer was responding well to treatment, and he wouldn't need any more nuclear medicine for two years. Unfortunately, this mistake meant my Dad passed away on January 26th 2024. There's no question that this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My Dad is the person I am/was closest to in the whole world. I've never felt pain like this. I don't know what to do with my tumblr now. I've had it for over a decade, but I've been posting for my Dad for so long that it feels wrong to post without him. I know that's silly. I just miss him so much.

I'm going to post the eulogy I wrote for him below the cut. I don't expect anyone to read it, but I want it to exist somewhere online. I'm really proud of it. It has mistakes - repetitions of words etc. - but I also think it's the best thing I've ever written, because it's about my Dad.

As a professional writer, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to write a eulogy that does my Dad justice. The problem is, I don’t think that’s possible. Especially without him here to give me notes. My Dad has always given me his opinion on my writing at whatever stage it was at, bouncing ideas back and forth with me and arguing over intricate punctuation but, on this occasion, he can’t. I hope he’d like this anyway.

I could talk forever about my Dad. There are so many things I want to tell people about him, about his love and excitement for the world and his joy in getting to live each day. To quote Marcus Aurelius, as my Dad often did, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” This sentiment defined him, really.

My Dad and I have so much in common. We traded books back and forth. He introduced me to his favourite shows and I showed him mine. He showed me his favourite movies from when he was growing up, and we were always first in line to see new releases at the Odeon in Wrexham. I would spend hours hanging out on the couch in his study as he worked and played music, talking me through his love and admiration of various songs and bands, like Led Zeppelin, Genesis, The Jam, The Smiths. We talked a mile a minute over dinner, always excited to share whatever new thing we’d learned that day. We experimented with various recipes and he gave me my love of cooking. We debated politics constantly, always talked about what was in the news, forwarded interesting posts and memes to each other across multiple social media platforms. Even when I lived on another continent we were in contact with each other every day, keeping track of our respective timezones so we could always find time to talk.

My heart aches every time I read a news article about some interesting new archaeological finding or a new discovery in space, because I want to share it with him. There are so many movies we planned to see, upcoming TV shows we wanted to watch, books we were waiting to be released.

I want to talk to him about the new Taylor Swift album and the Grammys she just won. As some of you may know, my Dad was a Swiftie – he was in the top 0.5% of Taylor Swift Spotify listeners last year. He was a fan of her before I was, often falling asleep to her 1989 album on international flights. He bought us tickets to see her Eras Tour together this summer and we were so excited. I can’t describe the pain I felt when last month he told me that I’d have to go and enjoy it without him. Because he should be here to see it with me. He loved stained glass – even taking classes and making his own artwork. He promised to teach me this summer, and now I’ll have to do it without him. But I’ll still do it. Like I’ll still go to the Eras concert – because it’s what he would have wanted, and because it keeps his memory alive.

I recognise how lucky I am that he is my Dad. So many things had to happen to make it so. Various ancestors had to meet and have children. My parents needed to be born, needed to both decide to go to the same university, needed some anonymous admin person to assign them both to the same university halls where they would ultimately meet. All so that one day I would come in to being and he would be my Dad. The chances of that happening, for everything to have gone right, are so infinitesimally small. And yet they happened. How miraculous is that?

I am who I am because of him. As a young man, he reviewed books for The Oxford Times and Interzone, a Sci-Fi and Fantasy magazine. (He was particularly proud to interview Terry Pratchett, his favourite author, and have his quote used on Pratchett’s books for years to come). He fell in love with stories and storytelling, a love that he passed down to me. Without him, I don’t know if I would have become a screenwriter and author. Storytelling is such a huge part of me, and I don’t know who I’d be without it, and without him. 

There are so many big, impressive things that my Dad did and achieved through his lifetime, but the things that make up a life are the smaller moments. My parents dancing around his study to God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. His love of all our cats across the years and his special relationship with each of them. The time we went out into the garden, on a freezing cold night in November, to watch the Leonids – shooting stars – falling brightly through the atmosphere. Picking me up from Gobowen station every time I came back from London or undergrad, no matter how late my train was. His specific way of stacking the dishwasher that only I could emulate. Summer holidays swimming in the pool, eating ice cream together, and marvelling over his tan.

The problem with loving my Dad so much is that it’s incredibly painful now he’s gone. One of his favourite Marvel TV shows, Wandavision, had the line “what is grief, if not love persevering?” There is so much grief because there has always been so much love between us. And I am thankful for that. Thankful for him, and everything he has done to build a beautiful life for our family.

My Dad’s last words were beautiful. Something we often said to each other, from childhood to adulthood, was “I love you more than the moon, and the stars, and the wide, wide world”. I started saying it to him, none of us knowing the end was hurtling so quickly towards us. He smiled as I began to say the familiar words, and as my Mum and brother joined in, so did he, still smiling as he said “and the wide, wide world”. And that was it.

'To reference Marcus Aurelius once more, he talks in Meditations about how just a day–just a minute–of happiness, of perfection, of peace, is enough. The same goes for the people we love. That we ever had my Dad in the first place is a wonderful thing, something to be so grateful for. Whatever comes after, whatever fortune has in store for us in the future? It can’t change that. What happens next matters less because of the wonderfulness of having had my Dad at all.'

He is my best friend. He will always be my best friend. Whatever happened, I knew he would look after me. That he loved me and cared for me and that with him I was safe. He would look after our family, always. And he did. Even now we’re discovering things he did and put in place to make sure we were okay.

I know I need to stop talking, although, as I said at the beginning, I could talk forever about my Dad. I will finish with a quote from Terry Pratchett: “No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.” Hopefully my Dad will live forever.

[wrongcaitlyn]

not fic related but i know you are an editor (i follo you on insta!!) but i wanted to ask you how did you start editing and most importantly how did you learn? i’ve always wanted to start editing bc i just have sooo many ideas but i can never figure out where to start and what programs to use. what would you recommend?

ahh omg yes!!! AN EDITING QUESTION god i havent talked about editing in so long even tho im trying to get back into itskldjf

(for those who don't know, i do have an editing insta and tt acc (though i'm not active on tt)!!! @/thae.rchxr on insta and thaerchxr on tt)

i started editing in 2020 during quarantine, and on capcut! i think that it's a pretty good starting spot, especially because it's free and it allows you to understand what you really want to make with your edits/what kinds of edits you want to make - velocities, lyric edits, transition ones, etc

i have to say i wouldn't recommend templates and i'm really not a fan of them. that's my only neg abt capcut now, even though i don't use it... yea i've seen too much of these template apps literally stealing the hard work of editors and it sucks

but anyway!! i currently use after effects, and have used it since early 2022, however it's a computer program, and - though you can pirate it and there are lots of videos online on how to do that - it also costs money if you don't wanna pirate (i got it as a christmas gift so i have the paid version but there's really no difference)

no matter what program you use, TUTORIALS!! youtube is your best friend. i have a youtube channel actually but i mainly post transition inspo instead of tutorials, however if you want some recs (for ae, i unfortunately don't know a lot of tutorial channels for other apps), i learned so much from klqvsluv, ae.chambb, and clewxdre on youtube! and, of course, lauren. she's kind of a mini celebrity in the editing communitysdklf - and there are so many more as well

if it's transition edits you're specifically trying to get into, def try and master the basics - zoom in's, out's, slide left/right, shakes and turbs if that's the kind of edit you wanna make. but honestly, the entire thing is just practice practice practice!! even though i only started editing on ae 2 years ago, i used to make edits, like, every day. i was obsessed. i would wake up and spend hours on edits, trying new transitions and new plugins and effects, and i think it really paid off :)

another thing you can do is attempt to remake edits! most editors will be completely alright with it (as long as you don't steal, ofc) and many even put out project files (i do have a few on my payhip- linked in my insta lmfaodjsf shameless self promo) that you can look at to see how they did certain transitions. remakes are good because it takes out the factor of having to figure out what transitions you want to make and lets you focus entirely on the technical aspect - which will then make it easier for you to pull off the transitions you think of yourself!

so, to conclude this ramble bc i can never shut up - i think i would definitely recommend ae if you have a computer/laptop. but i also think that other editing apps (the ones i see most often are videostar, alight motion, and capcut - all of which are mobile apps) can make absolutely incredible edits. i have friends who use each of these different editing apps and i know they can make some of the most mindblowing edits, even though i personally have no idea how to use vs or am lmaodsjf

so it's up to you! look at some tutorials, don't feel too intimidated, and go with the layout that makes the most sense to you. then just don't be afraid of making a "bad" edit bc let's be real the first edits are alwaysss shitty. i cringe when looking back at the edits all the way to last summer. but that's the beauty of it, because you can see your editing style and skill grow over time, and then you can eventually make edits that you'll be really proud of <3 i wish you the best of luck on your editing journey!! it's honestly so fun once you get into the swing of it :)

[illogicalnordictales]

As promised, here’s the part 2 of the last post: y’know, the one about being a language major and how the “Drunk & Angry Swastika Language” was only halfway a joke. Yeah, that one.

I dunno man, I just work here.

So I’m a history nerd. Specifically military history. European military history.

And so things like the Great War, World War II, the Talvisota, things like that, interest me.

But not only that, I’ve got a dark sense of humor, and used to run an Instagram page based off military history memes.

And then it got banned.

And then I made a new one.

Anyway, so all of this made my high school life a concoction for rumors.

Started by this one girl. I don’t like her so we’re gonna use her real name: Brooklynne.

Anyway, she didn’t really like me. I didn’t like her. She was a jerk.

And also Jewish. (I promise, this has something to do with the story.)

So one day in my sophomore year in high school, I get into my Italian class, and I’m just keeping to myself, getting settled and ready for class to start. When I hear someone call my name.

So I glanced up, and I see Brooklynne and one of her friends standing a few feet away. And Brooklynne is looking nervous. And so once they got my attention, her friend asks me,

“Do you like Nazis?”

“…why?”

“Your laces.”

Now, mind you, she asked me this after I spend all year walking into class with a German military jacket (with the current flag, not the flag of the 3rd Reich, don’t worry), and made jokes about Communism. And she’s asking about my LACES? Bruh. Anyway, I wore these black combat boots to school (still do), but they had red laces on the (I don’t have them anymore, now it’s black on black). And for those who don’t know the shoelace code:

Red laces on black Doc Martens were code for “I am a Nazi” and/or “I support Nazis.”

I don’t have Docs. I don’t want docs. I’ll take my nice cheaper comfy combat booths over Docs any day, thank you.

But I’m also not a Nazi. So I replied to them with, “No, I just like the contrast in colors.”

And I thought that was the end of that.

It wasn’t. The next year, a rumor started floating around that I was a Nazi. I don’t know exactly who started it, but I’ve got a pretty good idea on who did.

It got to the point where even people who had never met me would go, “Oh Illogical? She’s a Nazi, right?”

One guy literally wouldn’t even associate with me because of it. It was crazy.

Thankfully, over the summer the rumor died out.

And then about 2 weeks ago, I get a text from my friend. Sending me a picture of the hood of his car, where someone had drawn a swastika on the hood. And he’s like, “What is this?”

And I’m like, “I didn’t do it. Plus, it’s not even the Nazi one. It’s the Hindu one. The Nazi one is on an angle, that one would need to be rotated 45° for it to be the Nazi one.”

Yeahhh, I betchu didn’t know there were TWO different types of swastikas.

Now you do.

Anyway, with that single piece of knowledge I cleared my name instantly, because very few people know that fact.

But then he was like, “So who did it?”

Like bruh I’unno, it wasn’t my turn to watch your car like a hawk and make sure no one drew a swastika on it.

And bro literally pulled the “You’re a language major” card.

And he was then like, “I thought you did it. Also, being a German major made it more likely you’d be a facist.”

HAH idiot. Nonono. Being a German major would mean I’m more careful about what I do to not give that vibe.

Like suuure, I like making jokes about the Holocaust. Suuure, I take in interest in European and German military history.

FACIST, SHE MUST BE A FACIST. SHE’S A FILTHY RIGHT WING SKINHEAD.

(Guys my ego is fragile and I’m not a Skinhead. Don’t send the liberals after me, I’m not one of them, they’ll draw and quarter me)

Like hah guys let’s be real here. If I was a facist, I wouldn’t be out loud and proud about it. That’s like going to Hot Topic at 10 P.M.

That’s how you die.

Anyway, little hint for later, if anyone ever accuses you of being a Nazi, there are many ways you can go about it:

1) Do literally nothing.

2) Say, “No I’m not.” (Extra points if you pull the “That’s the wrong swastika” card)

3) Stare them dead in the eye. Straighten your back, put your heels together, and raise your right arm about 45°. Then, yell, “HEIL HITLER!” (Extra points if you’re in college at a very liberal or left wing college.) Then, you go about life like nothing happened.

✨You’re welcome for this useless anecdote✨

Note: The last option is entirely satirical. Don’t attack me in the comments. If you do, you’re uninvited to my birthday party. If you do it, and you get shot, that’s not my fault, nor is it my problem.

[sheenashifts1217]

Helloo!! I'm sending in an ask for a shufflemancy/channeling reading from a person in my WR <333 My Name: Angelica (Angel for short) DR Person's Name: Nova, she/her. She's my best friend in my waiting room Question: Does Nova have any advice for me on my shifting journey? Thank you so much for taking the time to do this (if you end up accepting, ofc) and I hope your channeling skills improve very soon!♥

Hello my love, thank you so much for this ask!

This is my first reading I’ve done on someone who isn’t myself or someone I personally know.

Nova showed me two songs for you. The first one being Still by Niall Horan

The lyrics that first stood out to me were, “My mind is complicated. Find it hard to rearrange it but I’ll have to find a way somehow”

I’m taking this as maybe your point of view towards shifting. You realize that there is a lot to your mind and consciousness and you’re struggling, but you don’t want to give up. Nova sees this as well and she is saying she’s proud of you for persisting and not giving up. What I specifically heard in my mind was “tell her I’m proud”. You will find a way that works for you because you already assume that, so you know it.

Another few lines that stood out to me were “and I just don’t know why, the stars won’t shine at night”, “so tell me you want it, a thousand miles away from the day that we started”

Again, I see this as the first line being your pov or feelings toward your shifting journey atm. You’re almost at a cross roads of finding what works for you. You feel like you’re doing everything you possibly can. My advice for that is to just let go. Don’t do anything that feels like it’s draining you. Shifting should be fun and a way to get to know yourself. Nova is really wanting you make sure you take time for yourself and don’t push yourself too much. Instead, just let it happen. The second line is Nova quite literally saying “I know you want it, look how far you’ve come”. I keep hearing her say she’s proud. Nova wants you to keep going, but to find balance at the same time. You’ve made amazing progress, but you need to make sure you don’t lose yourself. I heard “find you”. Nova is also very excited to spend time with you. You are such an important person to her.

The last lines that stood out to me were “I’m still in love with you”, and “we’ll be alright”.

Nova loves you so much. I’m really feeling almost like you all COULD be platonic soulmates or something very close to that, like sisters. I also feel like the line “I’m still in love with you”, could be you still being in love with shifting despite any struggles you may have had with it. Leading into the “we’ll be alright” line, you know and Nova knows that you will shift. You already have, you just have to claim it and become aware. Nova is ready for you to be there with her and spend time with you. She is reminding you that you are all you need to shift and that you already have shifted. The world is yours, all you have to do is claim it. You will find what works for you and continue to grow.

The other song is Something in The Orange by Zach Bryan, but the version sung by Niall Horan. Idk why it played the Niall version, but i believe that was confirmation that Nova really wants you to get this message. (Maybe one direction means something to one of you?)

The main parts that stood out to me from this were “I miss you in the morning”, “we’re not done”, “you’ve been waiting all night”, and “to you I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am”.

Again, this is Nova confirming how excited she is to see you. She misses you and she knows you’ve been putting forth your best efforts. You’re persisting and she’s so so so proud of you. She says keep up that drive you have, but also use that energy to take care of yourself. Shift for you and she will be there. When I heard the last line, “to you I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am”, I thought of that old tiktok trend where you show someone important to you with that song. Your and Nova’s bond is strong and she wants to be that sister for you. She’s guiding you and is always there for you.

Anyway, I’m feeling the overall message here from both songs is to keep the faith in yourself and keep finding what works for you while also finding your own pace. Shifting isn’t a race, but a walk. When you go on a walk, you take in things around you as you head toward your destination. Take in what helps and what hinders. Take yourself and nourish yourself. There is no time limit because time is not linear. Nova is extremely proud of you and she knows you’ll do it. Trust yourself.

I hoped this helped and resonated at least a little bit. Feel free to tell me if it was accurate or not. I’d love to hear back. I love you ❤️

[plantinghobbies]

Growing Pains

Two: Sure I’d Never Be Found

Author’s Note: Back from some traveling and finally had dedicated time to write. I’ve been overwhelmed by the support for the first chapter. Thank you so much, revisiting your notes kept me motivated when I struggled to focus or hit a block. The incredible @solipsisticno1 also helped keep my ass in gear. This’ll be a fast and slow burn (I’m a Gemini so cannot escape my love for duality). Welcome all constructive critique, favorite parts, questions, etc - so grateful for any and all feedback. Ok, here’s more of Tess and Matty.

It’s the longest he’s spent near mountains since he left home. Growing up, the idea of vastness had scared him; he doesn’t like to be reminded of how small and microscopic his existence is in the very grand scheme of things. Sometimes, he’ll lie awake at night fixated on just how tenuous life is, how quickly something outside of his control could end it. He wonders what he’d be remembered for – his art or his infamy? On particularly bad days, he wonders if he’d be remembered for long at all.

But the panoramic views of the peaks from the house the label rented him have the opposite effect. After years of touring in cramped bunks and living in packed cities, he feels the space around him palpably, like he’s been curled into a ball for too long and is finally able to stretch out.

When he’d announced his plans to spend the band’s hiatus working on some solo material with Jack in the States, he’d been most nervous about telling his band mates. Even though they’d always been supportive of each other branching out in various ways, this felt different somehow. It was one thing for George to work on remixing the odd single or producing with other artists, it was quite another to put out a whole solo record as Matty was planning, with a potential tour as well. But, as they had for the last twenty years, the guys had his back one hundred percent.

What he hadn’t anticipated was the call from his mum that came in the night before he left. She’d seemed antsy when he’d seen her for a bon voyage dinner two nights ago, but he chalked it up to her not wanting to say goodbye.

“Matthew, I’m still not sure if I should even be telling you this, had to really talk myself up to it. But I know I’d be kicking myself later if something happened.” There’s a tremor in her voice that he hasn’t heard in years.

Oh God, he thinks, she’s sick. Worse, she’s dying. His mind already flashing to her funeral, him attempting to perform a song for her before he breaks down in tears, failing her in this final act.

“You know I am so proud of you, and I wouldn’t ever dream of questioning your sobriety. But you’ve never been on your own like this without your support system – and lord knows neither have I – but it’s not easy. So I just need to say be careful, be vigilant, ask for help when you need it. I’m a plane ride away.”

The indignation that reared up at him was visceral. 34 years old, several years in recovery, and she still didn’t trust him. Looking back, he knows he could have handled it better. He’s proud of himself for not blowing up at her, something a younger version of him would have absolutely done. But he knows he was curt, wanting to punish her, inflict hurt like what had welled up in him at the thought that his own mum doubted him.

After the first few days of wandering his house, un-showered and aimless, he’d begun to see what his mother meant. The process of writing and recording is inherently unstructured, at least for him, filled with days where he does nothing and nights of manic activity. It’s him, sitting around with his own thoughts, picking at the scabs and scar tissue of his past. He didn’t realize how much he relied on the rhythm of others - the band, the tour - to provide structure for him. For the first time in his life, he is without those things, and the space that it creates feels like a blessing and a curse.

In the couple of weeks since, he’s settled in a bit more, has found a gym and can now navigate to Jack’s studio and back without relying on his phone. The word routine has always rubbed him the wrong way, evoking images and associations that make him uneasy. Boring. Pedestrian. Old. When he left rehab, they’d armed him with a written routine to help ease his transition back to his “everyday life.” It was cookie cutter shit that he hadn’t even done in rehab, let alone out of it – daily meditation, making his bed, a gratitude journal. One glance at the word and the list of to-dos had him pulling up his dealer’s number before the plane had even landed.

When he finally got clean for good, a new therapist suggested he develop a structure in lieu of a routine. At first, Matty didn’t understand the difference, and he’d worried that he’d once again sunk a ton of time into bettering himself only for the system to fail him.

“What do you like to do for fun?” His therapist, David, asked. The question caught him off guard, he was expecting the beginnings of a diatribe on the benefits of eating healthy.

“You mean, besides heroin?” Matty often tried to get a rise out of David but had yet to succeed, his shit-eating grin met with nothing more than a stoic quiet. Sometimes, when he was bored or couldn’t focus during their session, he’d imagine what David’s home life was like. What does this guy do for fun? Is he a Saturday golfer and Sunday churchgoer like he looks? Or does David leave the prim façade at work, shedding his tweed jacket on his way to a BDSM club or an after-hours rave?

Finally, David indulges him. “Yes, besides heroin.”

That was easy. “Music.”

“Ok, but music is also your job, which can be a source of stress. What do you like to do besides making music?”

He’s embarrassed to admit he’s a bit stumped. Over the years, he’s amassed a laundry list of abandoned hobbies – some lasting for a few days, others a few months. But only one has ever lasted long-term. Well, social media but that’s more of a habit he’s adopted to avoid other, worse vices.

“Umm, honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t really ever been able to keep up with one long-term besides writing songs.”

“Ok” David smiled “let’s start there.”

In the end, he was glad that he stuck with it. Nowadays, Matty had a simple list of things that he liked to do that help him feel his best – he isn’t regimented about doing them, which he thinks is how he’s been able to stick with it for so long. They didn’t cure his addictive cravings but they kept them at bay. He still resented the amount of effort that was required for him to have a “normal” day - but it was better than the alternative.

Given how late he got in from the studio the night before, he should still be in bed. He and Jack had been holed up for almost two days straight, capitalizing on a burst of creative energy that had them laying down the rough cuts of three songs and the outlines of a fourth. When Jack had finally gone home to Margaret, he’d kicked Matty out of the studio as well, demanding that he shower, eat and sleep – in that order. He’d caught a few hours of shut eye but the chord progression he’s stuck on has him unable to quiet his mind enough to rest. What’s new? Unable to even muster the focus needed to make tea, he settles for coffee instead. The expensive coffee machine gurgles next to him as he stares out the window, realizing that he can’t remember the last time he’d been outside. Maybe “touching grass” (he refuses to admit that he might be too old for certain phrases) would help unstick it?

It’s the first time the front porch has seen any action since his arrival and he takes a minute to get situated, shifting his chair this way and that. Finally satisfied, he looks up just in time to catch the vaguely familiar side profile of a woman walking by with her dog. Before the image registers in his brain, she’s gone. He finishes his coffee then heads out to jui jitsui before meeting Jack.

That afternoon is one of the most productive days in the studio so far, he feels like they’re getting somewhere. He’s desperate to sustain the momentum, to try to quell the intrusive, insecure thoughts that he can’t do this on his own. No amount of encouragement from Jack has helped, he needs to see it for himself.

He’s not above relying on superstition and decides to do everything the same the next day, including watching the sunrise on the porch, staring at the coffee as he swirls his mug. The jingling of a leash has him tilting his head up, eyes journeying up long legs, tracing an hourglass figure that had been hidden by the bar, meeting her piercing eyes – yep, that’s her. He leans forward in his seat, casting about for a witty comment to put her on her heels the way she had put him on his with that story the other night. But he doesn’t get a chance, her eyes seeming to look right through him as she passes by.

At first, he convinces himself that she just didn’t see him, unable to accept that he hadn’t left any impression on this woman. The next few days find him inching his chair closer and closer to the sidewalk each morning, but her and her dog just sail past without a second glance, seemingly immune to his presence. And listen, he’s not a dickhead - it’s not like she owes him any acknowledgement. He understands more than most how rare uninterrupted time to yourself can be in this day and age. But he hears her daily greeting to the older man who sits on his porch reading the paper a few doors down! So, it feels like she’s ignoring him specifically and intentionally – and the question of why is driving him mad. It scratches at sensitive scar tissue where his admittedly oversized ego meets a more fragile self-esteem, seizes on feelings of being unremarkable and weaponizes them. Has his overactive mind casting about for various reasons for her silence, most of them bad. She doesn’t recognize him, not even from the other night. Or worse, she does.

The rest of the week in the studio is a bit of a wash.

Saturday finds him bored and antsy, with little to do and even less motivation. Trying to occupy himself, he sets his sights more firmly on getting a rise out of her, any acknowledgement really. Just to get her to crack once, he tells himself, and then he’ll leave it be. He doesn’t dwell on why he gets so bothered by apathy, physically shakes away memories that surface uninvited in his mind - his mother’s glazed expressions, his exhaustive attempts to garner her attention. Getting a reaction from people was his coping mechanism long before it was his job.

Pulling the Adirondack chair - so cliche but also so bloody comfortable – right up to the fence, he positions it at an angle in clear view of the sidewalk. Sure enough, as she approaches, her eyes land on him from behind her sunglasses. He only knows this because her step falters slightly, head dipping into the barest of nods as she passes. The thrill that Matty gets from even this subtlest reaction is a welcome change from the monotony of the last few weeks. He can imagine what George would say if he saw this “Christ mate, you’ve got to get out more.” But George isn’t here, none of them are – and that’s the problem isn’t it?

The next day, it becomes clear that she is, in fact, fucking with him. She’s walking toward him, her mouth opens to speak – Matty slides forward in his chair at the sight, ready to declare victory – and then curls it into a smirk at his earnest reaction. It’s obvious enough that it had to be intentional. Oh, game on.

His tendency to hyper-fixate is a blessing and a curse, making him a better artist but an occasionally insufferable human. He’s determined to not let her get the best of him this time around, spending downtime in the studio brainstorming how to get her to break first. The answer comes to him as he’s standing outside, having a cigarette between writing sessions. The sign hanging in the window across the street is just too cringe, too cliche, too absolutely perfect to ignore and Matty strolls out of the store with it not two minutes later.

The next morning, he’s giddy with anticipation. As she turns the corner her head is down, almost as if she’s determined not to see or been seen. At the last second though, she glances up and clocks the sign leaning against the outside of the fence right, him seated next to it with a sly smirk on his face. She stops, stares, and then - right as he’s certain she’s going to maintain their silent standoff - she barks out a laugh. It is loud and raucous and feels like a well-won prize after two weeks of continuous effort.

“Oh my god, where did you get that?” She seems surprised to hear the sound of her own voice. If she’s disappointed that she’s “lost,” it doesn’t show. He begins to tell her, in his trademark roundabout way, a winding story about the fucking writing block that him and Jack ran into which led to him being outside, to seeing the store but then back around to the song that he was working on. She is nodding along but glances at her watch twice, the dog trying to pull her to keep moving, bored of him. She opens her mouth to interrupt him, a split-second pause where she huffs and seems to question herself, before rushing out with “Listen, I gotta get this guy to the park or he’ll have a meltdown, you can tell me the rest as we walk.”

She walks on, not giving him a chance to respond as he hustles to catch up with them. He meets her on the sidewalk the next morning, not giving her a chance to pass him by again.