#I’ve seen what *might* be spoilers but I’m in denial so we’ll just have to wait and see lol

[inwhichiramble]

Fair warning y’all, I’m going to be an absolute menace tomorrow cause the last episodes of season 5 are finally out on Disney+ and I haven’t seen them yet. I will be losing my mind but also will be tagging everything as #ml spoilers

Love y’all, good luck

[kaalamarii]

Maybe It’s The Thought Of Not Being So Alone (BelphiexMC)

Gender neutral MC!

Warnings: Major spoilers if you haven’t gotten to chapter 16!!!! Fluff, angst, and smut. So many feels. Sad feelings, sorrow, grief, it’s all in here.

I think this is the longest fic I’ve ever written but I’m really proud of it.(also the longest title...who am I, Fall Out Boy) Also, the grammar might be off because for whatever reason I kept switching back and forward between past and present tense? 

Masterlist

Belphegor frowns as, one by one, all of his brothers find excuses to leave the room. He had just walked in, and saw them all sitting at the dining table, talking and joking around like normal. But once he came in, they all grew silent and awkward. He had asked them why they hadn’t gotten him for dinner, and Lucifer muttered something about how they figured he was asleep.

Belphie’s not surprised by this anymore. They’ve been this way for the last couple of weeks. But still, it hurts. Even Beel doesn’t seem to want to be around him these days.

He gets it in a way, he really does. He hurt the human. Still, he’s apologized to them several times, as well as his brothers, and he doesn’t really know what else to do. 

Now that he’s free, he just wants to be able to hang out with his brothers like he always used to before the exchange program. He wants to go to Hell’s Kitchen with Beel, pull pranks on Lucifer with Satan, play games with Levi until he falls asleep. But they aren’t interested anymore. They no longer treat him like a brother, but a stranger.

As much as he wishes he didn’t, he still finds himself resentful of the human, blaming them for the rift between him and his brothers. 

MC comes out of the kitchen, pausing for a moment when they see Belphie sitting at the dining room table alone. “Where’d everyone go?”

Belphie shrugs. “They all had things to do, I guess.”

“Ah,” MC says with a nod. They too have noticed the way the brothers have been avoiding Belphie. While it was understandable to an extent and they were touched the brothers were so protective of them, they did find themself feeling bad for Belphie. “Well, I saved you some dinner. Want me to reheat it for you?”

“You saved me dinner?” Belphie asks, flabbergasted. 

“Of course. I didn’t want you to go hungry.” They grab a container from the fridge with some sort of stir fry in it and throw it into a pan. 

Belphie watches the human as they stir up the food, making sure it heats up enough. He’s actually...touched. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What do you mean?” MC asks.

“After all that I did...I don’t deserve this. Why aren’t you mad at me like my brothers are?”

MC gives him a little grin. “Don’t get twisted, I’m still pretty pissed about what happened.”

Belphie averts his eyes in shame.

MC continues, “But I see the effort you’re putting in.” 

They plate his food and hand it to him. “Your brothers will come around, Belphegor. I know they will.”

 Belphie sighs as he finishes his dinner. He’s so tired. And he wishes he could speak to Lilith now. She wouldn’t treat him differently and he wouldn’t feel so lonely with her around. He does have the next best thing, he supposes, thinking back to the human. He can tell they have a part of Lilith in them. Lilith was kind, forgiving, and Belphie sees that in MC too.

Without thinking, he finds himself going to the human’s door. When they answer, they are shocked, maybe even a bit uncomfortable to see him there. 

“Everything alright, Belphie?”

He holds his pillow tightly to his side, also feeling awkward. “Um, do you mind if I come in and hang out with you?”

“Uh. Sure.”

Belphie smiles as he follows the human into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He immediately sits on the floor, setting his pillow in his lap. MC sits on their bed, legs crossed, and looks down at the demon. Like his brothers, he’s cute despite the potential danger that lies within him. But now, hugging a cow print pillow in his lap, he seems so innocent. During their time here, MC has discovered that though they’re powerful, the demons are as complicated as humans are, with emotions they don’t know how to deal with, resentments and hurt feelings that have run deep for centuries. 

They watch Belphie place his pillow on the floor and lay down on his side, facing away from the human, eyes on the tv that was playing some cheesy romcom from Devilflix. 

“Belphie?”

Belphie turns to look at the human, fully expecting them to kick him out, but pleasantly surprised when they scoot over and pat the bed next to them. “You can come sit up here if you want.”

“Oh,” Belphie responds, uncertain. “Are you sure? I don’t mind lying on the floor.”

“I don’t mind. Wherever is more comfortable for you.”

Belphie looks down at his pillow, then back up at the space next to the human. He scrambles up his pillow and climbs up onto the bed, careful not to get in MC’s space, making sure that his limbs don’t touch theirs. 

The longer the rest of the demons in the house avoid him, the more movie nights there are with MC. Slowly, they get more and more comfortable with each other, sharing a bowl of popcorn and blushing when they reach in at the same time, accidentally touching hands. They put his pillow against the back of the bed and both sit with their backs against it, no space between their sides and shoulders, knees up against each other’s.  

Sometimes they watch comedies and the two of them lean on each other as they laugh. Sometimes they watch thrillers and MC gets squirmy, shutting their eyes and burying their face into Belphie’s shoulder. Usually, Belphie falls asleep and MC adjusts, laying him down so his head is on their lap. They don’t even notice that they run their fingers through his hair, but Belphie does, and he often fakes sleeping so that he can stay in that position.

His brothers quickly start to notice the weekly night time visits with Belphie and MC. Of course, they start to join them. First Mammon and Levi, both jealous and not willing to share. They’re both livid when they see MC and the seventh brother cuddled on the human’s bed. Next comes Beel, happy that the trust in Belphie is coming back. Then comes Asmo, hoping the cuddle sessions will turn into something a little more sexy. Even Satan finds himself in there, making pretentious comments about the movies based on books. 

As happy as Belphie is that his brothers are coming around, he finds himself agitated when they show up. They all fidget too much, talk through the movies, and fight to get MC’s attention.

It becomes too stressful and Belphie stops coming to the movie nights. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” MC says one movie night when they go to the kitchen to make popcorn. “You don’t show up for movie night anymore.”

Belphie sighs. “I’m sorry, MC. Sometimes my brothers are too much to handle.”

MC chuckles. “Don’t I know it. What do you say we go out this weekend, just you and I? We’ll go to the theater...I heard ‘Curse of the Succubus’ has a sequel out now.”

Belphie grins at the memory of the time they watched Curse of the Succubus. The human had wrapped their arms around his and laid their head on his chest, telling him to tell them when the scary parts were over. 

“You barely even watched the first one!” he laughs.

“It was scary!”

“It’s supposed to be.”

“Well, you’ll be there to protect me anyway, won’t you?”

Belphie feels a feeling in his stomach and throat he had never felt before. He clears his throat, trying to push it away, whatever it is. His face heats up. “Yeah, of course.”

Belphegor is glad that the sequel is even gorier and has more jump scares than the first. The human squeals and jumps every couple of minutes, holding on to him and digging their face into them just like before. Afterwards, they go out to eat and split dessert. Someone tells them that they’re a cute couple and they both blush and spit out denials. They go for a walk around Devildom, neither of them wanting to end the night.

Belphie is quiet as they walk side by side, taking in all the beauty of the Devildom.

“You okay?” MC asks. 

Belphie nods. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Nothing, it’s not important.”

“Oh, come on, Belph,” MC teases, lightly nudging him with their elbow. 

He sighs, but doesn’t otherwise react to the human’s teasing.

MC frowns, stepping in front of the demon. “Hey…what’s going on?”

“I miss Lilith.”

“Oh.”

MC doesn’t mind the demons bringing up their sister. After all, it was a horrible, tragic loss for all of them, but they had to admit to themself that there was some sort of pressure on them since the boys found out MC’s relation to Lilith.

“I doubt you want to hear how much like her you are,” Belphie continues. “I was lonely a lot after she died-or well, after I thought she died. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had Beel. But Beel was dealing with his own feelings on it. And then after the attic, I missed her more than ever. And that first night I was in your room, it had nothing to do with you. I just didn’t want to feel so alone anymore.”

MC sighed, unsure what to say.

“But after a while, it wasn’t just being alone. I liked being around you. You’re not just special to me because of Lilith, you know.”

“Thanks, Belphie,” MC replies with a smile. “You’re special to me too, you know.”

“You’re really nice to me. Especially after what I did to you.”

“It’s under the bridge now.”

“I’m glad you’ve forgiven me, MC, but I don’t think my brothers ever will. And I don’t expect them to either. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.”

“Belphie…” MC says, their hand coming up to stroke his cheek. 

“I’ll never hurt you again, MC, I promise.”

“I know.”

They walk back home in silence. He walks them to their room and is shocked when they lean over to give him a good night kiss on the cheek. The two stare at each other for a moment before Belphie goes in to kiss them back and MC turns to catch his kiss with their mouth. The two of them hold the kiss, moving their mouths against each other’s. 

MC opens the door behind them, not breaking the contact between them. They pull him into the room with them, and shutting the door by pressing him against it, their tongue darting into his mouth to rub against his. 

Belphie lets out a quiet groan, returning their kiss. His hands roam up and down their sides before sliding down to their ass, giving a light squeeze. They make their way to the bed, shedding clothing. Side by side, they lay down, hip to hip, groin to groin. 

MC pulls away to pull off their shirt and Belphie leans his head down to plant sloppy kisses on their chest. His mind is going wild as MC arches their back, a soft groan escaping, and grinds their hips into his. 

MC reaches for his belt buckle, and Belphie is filled with desperation. He wants them so bad.

A knock on the door causes them to scramble away from each other, MC throwing their shirt back on. Belphie isn’t sure why, but he feels guilty for putting his hands and lips on the human. It doesn’t get better when he hears his twin’s voice when MC answers their bedroom door.

“MC? Have you seen Belphie? I woke up to get a snack and saw he wasn’t in his bed.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s in here. We just got back from the movies.”

Beel looks into the room and the twins make eye contact. He sees Belphie’s troubled expression and sends him a questioning look back. Belphie sighs. Beel’s gaze goes back to the human, their messy hair, red lips, the embarrassment on their face. MC can tell that Beel knows what was just happening, but they find themself unable to read his expression. Was he jealous? Angry? They weren’t sure.

Desperate to get him out so they can get back to Belphie, they offer him the leftovers from the restaurant they and Belphie ate at. This seems to make Beel happy, but they still sense there’s something else. 

“Listen, MC,” Beel whispers. “If you need anything, you can come to me, okay?”

“Okay…” MC replies, unsure what the demon’s getting at. 

Beel takes one last look at Belphie before heading out.

MC makes their way back to Belphie but his demeanor has changed. “I’m sorry, MC, but I’m going to go to bed. I’m really tired.”

“Oh,” MC says in disappointment. “Sure. Okay.”

“Thanks for tonight,” he says, giving them a quick kiss on the cheek.

It was the first time in a long time, maybe ever in his life, that Belphie couldn’t sleep. He lies there in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He went to the attic, trying to convince himself that the awkwardness from Beel earlier is making him uneasy. But even there, he can’t sleep, no matter how hard he tries.

Thoughts of MC flood his mind. How cute they were at the movies; how their face lit up as they shared dessert; the way they always took care of him and his brothers and how they never brought up how he had killed them. 

As hard as he tries, Belphie can’t stop his thoughts from going back to kissing them. Their soft lips bruising his, the feel of their hands all over his body. Belphie feels himself growing hard as he thinks about what they almost did, but he doesn’t dare touch himself. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve the human, and he certainly doesn’t deserve to put his hands on them after what he had done to them. Though he wants nothing more than to go back to MC and continue where they left off, he doesn’t dare leave the safety of the attic.

Everybody has already left for RAD by the time Belphegor wakes up. He has dozens of missed calls from his brothers, and a bunch of threats from Lucifer in the form of voicemails and texts. He doesn’t care, he’s used to this. It’s not the first time he’s overslept.

He scrolls through all his messages, stopping when he sees MC’s name. 

“Hope you’re doing okay,” he reads the texts out loud to himself, “Can we talk after school?”

He sends them a quick, “yes of course” before going back to sleep. The day’s half way over anyway, no point in showing up now.

Thankfully, MC gets home first, so they get to speak before whatever Lucifer’s punishment for Belphie will be. 

They find him still in the attic, a little bit of drool collecting on the cow print pillow as he snored. MC sat on the bed, lightly putting a hand on his shoulder. He opens one eye to look at them before turning pink and sitting up, wiping the saliva from his mouth and turning the pillow over.

“MC.”

“Where were you today? Lucifer’s going to kill you, you know.”

Belphie chuckles. “He already locked me up for several months. Not much worse he can do to me.”

“Yet you still come up here to sleep.”

He shrugs. “Sometimes I need alone time.”

“Is that what you needed last night?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, Belphie, but last night...there’s no denying anymore that there’s something in between us.”

Belphie sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, MC, I very much wanted to continue last night.”

“But?”

“But we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I feel guilty...every time I touch you, all I can think of is how I hurt you.”

MC shifts, obviously uncomfortable with him bringing up the time he killed them. “You said you’d never do it again, didn’t you?”

“Of course I wouldn’t.”

“Then I trust you. Why can’t you trust yourself? I like you, Belphie. Don’t you like me?”

“Yes, of course.”

MC leans forward, kissing him. “There’s no reason to feel guilty. Also, your brothers are at a meeting, so we have a little bit of time.”

“Time for what?”

MC grins, shoving their RAD jacket off and undoing their shirt buttons. “I mean, unless you don’t want to…”

Belphie runs his eyes up and down MC’s body, staring at their now bare chest. He still feels worried, but that is quickly thrown out as another part of him begs to take advantage of the alone time.

Ultimately, as the human continues to undress, that side wins. Belphie smirks, reaching out to pull the human down with him. They laugh as he lightly tosses them onto the mattress, trailing kisses down their chest, catching each nipple between his teeth. The human lets out a moan, running their hands through Belphie’s hair. He kisses back up to their neck, suckling as he trails a hand down to between their legs.

MC mirrors him, reaching down to undo his pants. Belphie kicks his pants off his legs, desperate to shed his clothing and feel the human’s touch. He wiggles out of his underwear, his already hard and waiting cock springing out. MC wastes no time wrapping their hand around it, gently pulling at him. 

Belphie finds MC’s mouth, moaning into it as they kiss each other. He opens an eye to look down at MC’s beautiful face, flushed, eyes shut. He quickly takes a peek down to MC’s hand on his dick, pumping it delicately yet quickly, sending pleasure throughout his entire body. And his own between MC’s legs, playing with the most sensitive part of them. 

Their moans, the feeling of their touch, it was all getting to Belphie. He hovers over them, and they open their eyes, looking up at him. He lines up with dick with their entrance and they nod, granting sweet, sweet permission. 

Belphie enters, swiftly yet gently. MC cries out in pleasure, and for a moment, Belphie is paranoid that he harmed them. But when he sees their naughty smile, he lets himself focus on the feeling of being inside them.

He pumps in and out of them, speeding up. Both of their moans get louder and louder, echoing through the attic. Belphie begins to use his hand on them as he fucks them, determined to get them to climax. He hurt MC so badly before, and all he wants now is to be the reason for their bliss.

MC calls out his name as they cum, tightening around his cock and starting his own orgasm, both of their juices joining together inside of MC. 

Belphie collapses on top of MC, holding them tightly, fighting back his emotions. “I’m sorry, MC, I’m so sorry.”

MC shushes him sweetly, stroking his head. “I know, Belphie.”

“I won’t hurt you ever again. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The sound of the rest of the demons coming home pulls them apart. Belphie chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes. “Guess our time is up.”

MC smiles, kissing him back. “Don’t worry, Belph. We’re just getting started.”

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Barchie 5x06 Review.

So I usually just do one reivew for an episode but I have so many thoughts on this episode that I decided to split it in two otherwise it’ll be way too long, I figured two smaller reviews will be easier for people to read than one novel of a review. So in this part I am just going to be talking about the Barchie content. Then I’ll post a second half covering the rest of the episode later on today. As always these are just my own interpretations and opinions and naturally there are spoilers. So if you want to know my thoughts on Barchie this episode read on.

The Teacher’s Lounge

The first scene we get of Barchie is the one where they are in the teacher’s lounge. Now I have seen some people who are disappointed or using the argument that Barchie have become only sex and that they never talk. To me though I don’t think that is true at all and this scene is proof of that. When Archie first approaches Betty they are talking about the Polly situation. Betty is confiding in her friend about what is going on in her life and is sharing her worries with him. In return he tries to reassure her and comfort her when he reminds her that Alice had said Polly would disappear for days at time before showing up again. Another thing I’ve seen some people worry about is that Barchie are just using each other as a distraction. Again I totally understand why some shippers might be worred about that. But to me I’m kinda like well yeah they are. I mean maybe I misinterpreted the situation but I kind of thought that’s what their whole friends with benefits arrangement was about. It’s a friend that you can use to help you work out your frustrations and to be a distraction for a little while. Also this idea of using sex as a distraction and coping technique is hardly a new thing to riverdale both v*rchie and b*ghead have used sex in the past to distract themselves from their problems and they were both long term established relationships, them using sex that way didn’t negate from their very real feelings for each other. So I don’t think that just because Barchie are sleeping together in an attempt to escape for a moment, that means they are doomed or that their relationship is shallow and only about sex. If anything its a good thing because it shows that when they are feeling stressed and worried its each other that they choose to turn to. I think we often get so distracted by the sex part of the arrangement that its easy to forget about the friends part of friends with benefits. 

What I did love about this scene was how cute it was. Like when he calls her Ms Cooper and just the fact that he came to check up on how her day was going in the first place was adorable. And of course I loved that little hand touch it was just so soft. I also thought their smiles and that playful look Betty gets when she’s thinking about a plan for where they can hook up was really funny.

The Titanic Sails Again.

Growing up Titanic was my favourite movie and in my young mind it was the most romantic of movies, so naturally I was thrilled about that iconic titanic moment being recreated for Barchie. At the same time I couldn’t help but laugh a little at it too. That being said there is no denying that the scene was on fire.I mean I don’t know if its just Barchie and their chemistry or if its because they’re depicting adults now or a combination of both but is it me or do these sex scenes seem so much more explicit than they used to be? I mean holy firecracker.

 I also thought the song choice was perfect. I’ll be honest I had never heard it before but I do think the lyrics and also what the song is about is significant. I talked about songs a bit before and how in tv shows the lyrics can often hold significance because the producers have to shorten the song to fit the scene, therefore they have to chose not just a song that will fit the scene but which lyrics specifically work for the scene. Obviously it was a sexy scene so they wanted a sexy song to go with it. But the song, by the writers own admittion, is a love song. Bazzi said this about the song and I just think it is so in line with Barchie at the moment  "It became more than just a love song to a girl I was with…Lyrics were just flowing out, because I had felt this certain love and acceptance from this girl, and I wanted to take that and on a bigger scale give that back to people." This is exactly how I see Barchie’s relationship, its about love and acceptance. They have always loved each other, whether that’s romantically or as best friends or both. Also they have always been supportive and accepting of each other. 

So what about the lyrics that are actually in the scene. Well like I said some of them I just think are because they go with the whole sex of the scene. I mean lyrics like ‘hit it from the back and drive you wild’ and ‘hands on your body.’ Those don’t really need much analysis, pretty damn obvious why those lyrics were chosen. I mean you can look at it as simply its a song about sex and they are having sex, its not that deep. But I actually think there are some lyrics that could indicate that there’s something deeper to Barchie. The lyrics ‘girl I lose myself up in those eyes’ for example is actually a rather romantic line about how he is enamoured with the girl and I do feel like that’s how Archie feels about Betty and always has. Also the line ‘I just had to let you know you’re mine.’ Again this to me seems deeper than just sex. I do wonder if on a subconcious level they both see each other as theirs but that they aren’t willing to admit to themselves or each other. My favourite lyrics though are ‘feels like forever even if forever’s tonight.’ To me this makes me think that when they are together they let themselves feel all of those feelings they have for each other. Just for those moments they aren’t hiding, they just feeling it all and it feels like something that can last, it feels like forever. But neither one of them is ready to confront that so instead they just settle for tonight, they are willing to take what they can for now. 

I also feel like when they choose a song they probably do so knowing that either the audience have heard it before or that they will go and listen to it in full. So maybe there are some more clues as to where Barchie are heading in the rest of the song? (Probably not, its probably me just over analysing everything as per usual but hey let me live in my land of denial a little longer, its fun here.) In the full version of the song it starts out with a speaking part where the guy announces that he’s had a bit too much to drink and now he needs to tell her how he feels. I do wonder if this will be how Archie ends up confessing how he feels, like he has a bit too much to drink maybe at this point Glen has shown up and he’s feeling some jealousy and so he just goes to her and admits to how he’s feeling? Anyway back to the song, he then goes on to talk about how much he loves her smile and how he gets lost in her eyes. Again really romantic notions that we often associate with being in love. Later in the song there’s another similar lyric ‘Even when it's rainy, all you ever do is shine.’ Again this idea of someone being the sunshine in the rain is a very romantic notion and again I do feel like this is how Barchie feel about each other and kind of ties into what I was saying above about how when things are bad they turn to each other. I mean those scenes when they are together they look happy, they are both each others sunshine when things are getting stormy. 

Throughout the song there is also alot of the idea of belonging with the other person and this idea of a long term relationship. Outside of the obvious ‘you’re mine’ lyrics and the title of the song itself. I talked a little about the feeling like forever lyrics too but there are some other lyrics that I think are important. For example ‘Man, this feel incredible, I'll turn you into a bride, you're mine.’ Again this lyric isn’t about sex its goes deeper than that this is talking about being together forever not just a fling. But I think another even more interesting lyric in the song is ‘Swear to God, I'm down if you're down, all you gotta say is right.’ I’ve said before that I think that Archie is the one that is more willing to explore a relationship than Betty right now. I do feel like this line reflects how Archie is feeling like all Betty would have to do is say the word and I think he would be all in. Now I am fully aware that I could be reading way too much into this but I just find it interesting that they chose a song for a Barchie scene that is talking about how in love a guy is with the girl he’s with and how that guy is longing for more. 

So like I said earlier there is no denying that this scene was all kinds of hot so naturally I was very amused when the fire alarm started to go off. I don’t know I just found that really funny, like a literal fire broke out whilst they were doing it. Of course this is because some Stonewall Prep footballers set a fire in the school. One thing worth noting though is that obviously those two guys saw both Archie and Betty there at the school I can’t help but wonder if they’ll go back and tell Reggie this. I mean I don’t think they will but its possible they could do some scenario where Reggie tells Hiram and considering how Archie later tells everyone that he was alone and out running when he discovered the fire, Hiram is going to know that Betty and Archie are wanting to keep things quiet and maybe he or Reggie will use it to try and blackmail Archie. Like stop what you’re doing or we’ll tell everyone about you and Betty. I mean Betty didn’t do her blouse up all the way when they came out so I think the students probably would be able to guess what they had been doing. I’m not entirely convinced on this theory but the thought did cross my mind. Speaking of Betty’s state of dress, that leather skirt and the heels with the blouse, our girl came all dressed up for Archie and I loved that outfit. Also I really loved the scene where Archie was trying to explain why he was at the school in the middle of the night to see the fire. I mean Archie does go night jogging, he has in the past at least so the excuse was a believable one but his delivery was far from smooth.

On a less fun note I have seen some people comparing the Barchie car scene with the one with Miss Grundy and that’s just not ok. They are very different situations one scene is between two consenting adults and the other was a person of authority and an adult manipulating a teenager into having sex with them. The fact that people are using that scene as a way to prop up their own ship or to try and say its evidence that Barchie are wrong is quite frankly disgusting and disturbing so please just stop.  

The Shallows.

So this was on the surface such a small scene but in truth I actually think in terms of Barchie’s relationship it was one that held the most significance. Whilst Veronica sings the lines ‘Tell me something boy, aren’t you tired of trying to fill that void.’ It zooms in on Archie’s face and you can see he is feeling some things. He is clearly got some things on his mind that have been stirred up by those particular lyrics. I said before the episode aired when I saw the clip of them in the teacher’s lounge in the promo that I wondered if Archie was already beginning to get tired of sneaking around and after seeing this episode I do think that’s the case. I think Betty and Archie have been in love with each other since the pilot, maybe even before, but they’ve spent so long pushing down those feelings and ignoring them that I’m not sure they know how to do anything else. But as a result, I think not acting on these feeling has left a void in their lives/ hearts. Now they’ve reunited and they are both single and they’ve realised those feeling are still there, but like I said, I think they spent so long denying their feelings its become second nature to them. I think they both fear losing the other if they take it to the next step and it doesn’t work out, then they’ve lost their best friend. But I also think this void they’ve created is becoming too much so they instead try to fill it by sleeping together hoping that it might be enough to make them feel more complete.

When Veronica sings the next line ‘Or do you need more?’ this time it zooms in on Betty who you see gets a little sad and looks down at the ground, like Archie those lyrics have got her thinking and feeling things. Again these lyrics are so significant and I think the mesage is pretty clear. Barchie want more with each other, as much as they are enjoying the whole FWB thing they’ve got going on they’re realising that its not enough. They are also probably feeling a lot of fear and uncertainty around that revelation. The next line Veronica sings is also very meaningful. ‘Is there something else you are searching for?” What’s really interesting to me is obviously I think this lyric is suppose to indicate that yes Barchie are searching for something other than the FWB deal they’ve got going on. But I actually think the writers show us exactly what it is Barchie are looking for. At this moment they zoom in on Kangs. I think its important that at this moment they show us a happy, stable couple, who have a deep relationship and who fell in love when they were in high school and who still had those feelings for each other all these years later. This is what Barchie want with each other.

Also the song talks about the shallows. Shallow water is indicative of safety as oppose to being in the deep end which makes you think of being out of your element or in danger. Barchie has always been associated with safety, Betty on several occasions has talked about how they feel safest with each other. I also feel like they feel safe with the whole FWB arrangement. The song continues to go on to say that they are ‘far from the shallows now’ and talking about ‘I’m in the deep end, watch as I dive in.’ This line is talking about willingly throwing yourself into the deep end, to embracing the unknown and just going for it. I do think this is suppose to tell us that this is what Barchie will do. That eventually they’ll take that leap of faith for each other and just dive in. A large part of the reason why I think this song is about Barchie despite it being sung by Veronica and Chad (well truthfully I think it had signifcance for a few couples but I’ll cover that in the other half of the review) is because one the fact that they zoomed in on them both. But two because right when the song finishes Archie immediately turns to look at Betty and she flicks her eyes to his. I think this shows that they were thinking about each other during that song. 

The Porch

Ok so now I want to talk about the scene that seems to have caused some differing opinions within the fandom. A lot of shippers are saying that the scene where Betty comes to the door and they kiss, that Archie had a strange look on his face as he closed the door after she suggested they go upstairs. Now I agree there was a strange look on his face. I did see a lot of people speculating that this was because Archie was jealous over Veronica and Chad and was distracted by that so wasn’t really that enthusiastic about hooking up with Betty at that moment. Respectfully I am going to completely disagree with that reasoning. I was actually kind of surprised when I saw so much speculation that Archie was jealous of Chad, particularly over on twitter because me personally I didn’t see any indication that Archie was jealous. He was definitely wary and suspicious of Chad and obviously still protective of Veronica but I don’t think that situation was the reason for the conflict Archie seemed to be feeling. However whilst I don’t think that Archie was jealous I do think that at some point some element of V*rchie is going to come back into play and that was being set up in this episode. One thing I noticed as I’m sure many others have is that so far the time jump has had a lot of parallels and throwbacks to season 1. But the interesting thing about these parallels is that they each have different outcomes then the original parallel. For example the scene in 5x04/05 when the core four reunite at Pop’s. This scene parallels the one, I think is in 1x02, where the core four sit together for the first time, the one where Betty and Veronica are there and then Juggie and Arch come in and Betty offers for them to join them. Both scenes are very similar but the outcomes are different, in the original scene the four of them are relaxed and laughing together, in the season 5 scene they are a little tense and its awkward. Well I think the V*rchie and Barchie storyline is going to parallel the one in season 1. I think Betty will once again feel jelaous of Veronica and Archie. I could also see Archie get confused about whether his concern for Veronica is old feelings returning or just a friendly kind of concern and whether or not what he feels for Betty is deeper or just an attraction. Basically Archie is going to find himself in the same situation he was in in season 1 but in reverse. In season one he was confused about whether what he felt for Betty was just a friend thing and whether what he felt for Veronica was something deeper or just attraction. Now I think it’ll be the other way around. Back in season 1 ultimately Archie chooses Veronica, sort of, especially after Betty shuts him down during his ‘a part of me always thought’ speech. What else I find interesting is there is another kind of role reversal here between Betty and Archie. In season 1 it was Betty who had feelings for Archie and believed he didn’t have feelings for her. I think in season 5 its Archie that has feelings for Betty but believes she doesn’t have feelings for him. I think they’ll hint at V*rchie but I don’t actually think they will put them back together. I think how it will go is Glen will show up and Archie will feel jealous when he realises that there was something between Glen and Betty. As a result he’ll start spending more time with Veronica which in turn will make Betty jealous. Evenutally in 5x10 it’ll come to a head and Archie having one too many will show up at Betty’s door and declare his feelings. But I don’t think anything will happen right there. I think Betty will just look after drunk Archie and it’ll be the next day that they’ll talk about their feelings and then get together because this time Archie will choose Betty. 

Speaking of parallels that brings me back to this porch scene. Obviously I feel like this porch scene is a parallel to the porch scene in the pilot where one has shown up at the others door. Last time it ended in rejection but this time they kiss and sleep together. Also I couldn’t help but notice that during this scene and the one where they a laying in bed together the theme playing is the same one that was played during that first porch scene, which can’t be a coincidence. Ok so what about that strange look? If its not about Veronica then what was it about. Well I think it was because Archie wants more with Betty but feels like she just sees him as a hookup. 

There was another parallel between this scene and the one earlier in the episode in the teacher’s lounge. In both scenes it starts out with Betty talking about how she is worried about Polly. Again this is showing that friends element of their relationship and how they still go to each other for comfort when things are troubling them. Archie in turn confesses that he himself was feeling crazy and frustrated and whilst I do think some of that relates back to Veronica and Chad, I mean Chad had been a huge dick to him right before this, some of it also probably had to do with Reggie and that situation, but I also think some of it is that he is frustrated about where his and Betty’s relationship is, which was brought on by him hearing Veronica sing shallow. Another parallel between the two scenes is in both it is mentioned that Jughead is out and at work. In the first scene Betty says its too risky for them to be together at Archie’s even if Jughead is out. But this time she doesn’t seem worried about it. I think she just wants to be with Archie and so just doesn’t care what the risk is. I do think this is a small indication that things are changing between them. There are more little hints in this scene too. For example unlike after the scene in the teacher’s lounge where we next see them going at it in the car, in this scene they don’t show them in the act. Instead they show them after. I actually really loved this scene, even more than the car scene. Because here they were just cuddling together, it wasn’t about sex in this moment, they just wanted to be near each other and were taking comfort in each other. I am going to come back to this moment in a bit but first I want to go back to the porch and talk some more about that. 

After talking about how he is feeling frustrated, Archie and Betty kiss. But this kiss to me seems different from the others they’ve had post time jump. For one the others were during their hookups and so were passionate and urgent. This kiss however was just so soft. I also think its worth noting that when I first saw the scene I thought it was Betty that initiated it but I actually think it was Archie. Archie takes a small step towards Betty but also as Betty moves forward you can see Archie’s shoulders move almost like he is pulling her too him. Now I feel like if it was a case of he was distracted by Veronica and wasn’t that into being with Betty he wouldn’t be the one pulling her too him for a kiss. Also Archie is the one that deepens the kiss too. Another thing worth noting is that despite Betty’s concerns about the risk and that they up until now have been very careful about not getting caught. Well they kissed each other on his porch with the door wide open. Literally anyone could have seen them. But again in that moment I don’t think they cared, I think they just wanted to be together. Also despite Betty aksing to go upstairs after I don’t feel like that kiss was meant as a prelude to sex, or that it has anything to do with sex. The kiss wasn’t passionate or heated. It was a much more romantic kiss and maybe I’m projecting but to me it seemed to be more fuelled by their real feelings for each other than by desire or lust. And this is exactly why I think Archie had that look on his face as he closed the door. I think he poured his feelings into that kiss hoping she would know and to me the look on his face was one of frustration and I think its because when she wanted to go upstairs he felt like it was a case of her only seeing him as a hookup option. However I think judging from the look on her face as she looks at him after they kiss I don’t think that is true. Again I could be projecting but to me she just looked so in love with him. 

Ok so going back to the scene where they are cuddling in bed together. Like I said they both have pensieve looks on their faces but the really sweet thing is that Archie is stroking Betty’s shoulder and Betty is stroking Archie’s side and I don’t know why but those little details made me feel all soft and gooey inside. When Betty’s phone goes off Archie is just staring at her the whole time with such a loving look, he looks completely besotted by her. Also there is that moment when Betty says that she has to go and then says ‘but this... was really nice.’ That hesitation before she says really nice, to me, showed that Betty was trying to think what ‘this’ was exactly and it seemed like she couldn’t quite find the right words to define it. Again they both just looked so in love when she was saying it. Also as a FWB type arrangement I’m not sure it was necessary for her to kiss him goodbye like that. Like the kiss on the porch it wasn’t a heated or lust fuelled kiss it was soft and tender, again as if there were real feelings behind it. Also as she goes to leave you can see Archie almost reach out to stop her and say something. It’s pretty obvious in this moment that Archie doesn’t want Betty to go and wants to say something, maybe about his feelings for her, but he changes his mind and again looks deep in thought. 

Overall I thought this was a really good episode for Barchie and I do think that they are moving more towards becoming something more than just friends with benefits. I know that there is a possibilty they might go back to the original couples but as of right now I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I do feel like as a fandom us Barchies have been let down so many times that we just expect to be disappointed but for now I’m staying optimistic and I’m just going to enjoy speculating and enjoy any scenes we get.      

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki Ep 1 “Glorious Purpose” intensive analysis

So, I’ve seen the first “Loki” episode and, of course, I couldn’t stop myself from talking about it.

Beware about spoilers!

We start in New York 2012 and that part is merely “Avengers: Endgame” albeit they changed a bit the visual so there’s more focus on Loki. We’ve close up of Loki when he is ‘Captain America’, when he says by to the Hulk in the lift and so on.

It’s a good choice because he’s basically the only character the visual seems to focus on (the only other character who gets a close up is the Hulk yelling ‘No stairs!’), subtly telling us the story is about him.

On a sidenote though, in “Avengers: Endgame” you might see Loki walked vaguely near 2022 Tony Stark and we also have Scott Lang asking Tony if he wears Axe body spray, which he confirms. In “Loki” we don’t see these scenes but keep them in mind, they’ll be relevant later on.

Anyway as everyone knows Loki picks up the Tesseract and disappear.

We get the Marvel opening but without the usual ‘heroic’ music, this time it’s more ominous? Or maybe it’s just me. “Marvel studios” also gets written in green and gold on a black background.

It’s not the first time Marvel changed how it presented, in the first episode of “WandaVision” for example it was in black and white instead than in the usual red and silver but it’s still a nice touch.

So we resume… with the visual showing us an insect walking through the desert. Then the camera shows us the full view of the desert, informing us it’s the Gobi Desert in Mongolia.

Rather high in the sky a space portal opens for a moment and the next we know is that Loki is lying flat on his back on the ground among clouds of sand which, I guess, were raised due to him falling into the desert. Loki is without the chains holding his wrists (did the power of the Tesseract destroy them? The fall?) and easily pulls away the muzzle Thor put on him and from his confused expression as he sits up and see people coming close to him, I get the feeling he didn’t exactly plan to fall there and in such a way.

So I guess maybe this is his first attempt at using the Tesseract and he didn’t quite gave it a direction on WHERE he wanted it to take him? Because really falling from the sky flat on the ground in the middle of the Gobi desert among people who didn’t even talk his language doesn’t seem the sort of thing one would plan.

Anyway, despite being in an unfamiliar situation Loki finds a rock to stand over and introduces himself:

“I am Loki of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

Which yes, it’s how he introduced himself to Fury in “The Avengers”.

The people there have no idea of what he’s saying and asks him who he is in their own language (Mongolian). It’s unclear if Loki gets what they’re saying.

In the comics all Asgardians, can speak every language thanks to the ‘Allspeak’ or ‘All-Tongue’, in which what they say is understood by every species in their own native language.

In “Thor” earlier script though there was this dialogue:

Darcy: So, how can you speak our language? Volstagg: Your language? Ha! Silly girl, you're speaking ours.

In an interview Ray Stevenson (Volstagg) and Joshua Dallas (Fandral) discussed that bit.

Part of this seems to be set in a world where you guys fit in perfectly and the rest is very much on Earth. Ray: Yes, but on Earth we started it all, you see. This is just one of the realms. This is where all the legends come from. All the ruins have gone into myths and Norse mythology. It’s all us, love. It was all us before that. They’ve forgot their place, really. They think, “Oh, you speak our language?” and it’s actually, “No, you’re speaking ours.” Joshua: We invented it. [Ray Stevenson (Volstagg) and Joshua Dallas (Fandral) On Set Interview THOR]

The implication seemed to be that there was no Allspeak, they just spoke the same language because Asgardians invented it and Midgardians learnt it.

We also have this bit from “Avengers: Infinity War”:

Rocket: You speak Groot? Thor: Yes, they taught it on Asgard. It was an elective.

This implies it’s not that Thor was magically granted the ability to understand Groot, he had to study his language.

So well, I would say that no, so far Asgardians didn’t have Allspeak in the MCU, hence, unless Loki studied Mongolian or his magic powers granted him Allspeak, he can’t get what whose people are saying to him. So really, I don’t think he wanted to end up in Mongolia, he should have thought he wanted the Tesseract to just bring him somewhere very far from New York City. That is unless it’ll turn out someone managed to interfere and have him fall there for some purpose.

But, back to Loki.

As I said he doesn’t really get to talk with those people because a door opens up out of nowhere and near to the Tesseract which is lying forgotten in the sand and people in an armoured suit and carrying weapons start to appear.

Loki is kind of confused but he recovers fast.

Putting up a tone of confidence he orders the guy not to touch the Tesseract, thinking they aim at getting it. Another door opens up out of nowhere and we get another person in armour. To save time I’ll say the woman is supposed to be Hunter B-15. I wonder if she’ll get a name beyond this or not.

The situation of the people at the TVA isn’t exactly great but I’m running ahead.

Now, I think Loki preferred to deal with the Mongolian people because although he can understand what Hunter B-15 says, it clearly makes no sense for him.

Honestly I’m not going to blame him.

“Appears to be a standard sequence violation. Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. Variant identified.”

This isn’t the kind of sentence that makes sense in a conversation, if you aren’t familiar with the TVA.

Hunter B-15 doesn’t care what she says doesn’t make sense to him and wouldn’t make sense to any other normal person. She calls him ‘Variant’ and talks as if everyone should know and respect the Time Variance Authority as an authority to defer and obey to.

I love Loki’s reply here:

“It's been a very long day, and I think I've had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do, so, if you don't mind, this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way.”

He had a very bad day, he’s probably still bruised and sore due to his ‘meeting’ with the Hulk and his fall from the sky, he might very well be exhausted and he’s clearly confused but he acts as if he’s in control and won’t let himself be intimidated. I love him.

As he moves close Hunter B-15 hits him and informs him although he’s moving at 1/16th speed he’s feeling all the pain in real time.

Now… from when “Loki” trailers had started going around there had been a debate if the TVA is the good guys or the bad guys.

I’ll jump a bit ahead and tell you they clearly believe they’re the good guys.

But just from this bit you can start to question the idea they’re good guys.

They aren’t just acting as Vigilantes but they’re claiming an authority that no one on planet Earth gave them and demanding submission, not hesitating to beat people when they do not complain.

I know, some of you are thinking that Loki is a bad guy so serves him right but that’s not really the point because they aren’t even beating him for what he did to New York but for a crime he didn’t know he was committing, acting with an authority no one on Earth gave them. They just took it. And they would have taken it if the one picking up the Tesseract and ending up in Mongolia were to be a random person that out of bad luck had picked up the Tesseract and had ended activating it by accident.

This is not about Loki, this is how the TVA operates and it’s scary.

I don’t know if “Loki” will want to dig into police brutality and I honestly don’t dare to hope in it but it would be an interesting turn.

Hunter B-15 seems to be enjoying her work. I won’t call her evil yet, it’s clear she thinks she has the authority to do so, that the TVA enabled her to think she’s doing a good thing but she doesn’t seem to have… hesitation in doing so. One can still do his duty and not enjoy beating up people and causing them pain, yet the dialogue gives me the impression she’s very cool with beating up resisting Variants who has no idea they’re Variant and causing them pain.

Maybe it’s just me, maybe she’ll prove she’s actually a gentle soul but, for now, she doesn’t look as such. We’ll see.

Anyway she straps a collar around Loki’s neck and then, finally, she let him fall at normal speed before two of the men with her grabs him and carry him away while she picks up the Tesseract and orders to ‘reset the timeline’, which, at first I thought would mean they use that sort of mechanism to send back the time, erasing Loki’s appearance from the timeline. I’m not sure now. It might as well erase everything there. Loki turns to see what this mechanism does and from the look on his face it doesn’t seem anything good.

I hope not but well, in a way, sending everything back of some minutes erases lives that could have possibly be lived differently so yeah, in a way they erased lives. It’s the dilemma of changing time after all.

Whatever, Loki is dragged through the door that opens out of nowhere and appears at the TVA. The door disappears behind him and he has no idea where he is.

Now I guess it’s a good point to point out how people had been wondering which kind of Loki this one was, if he was based on the Loki on “Thor”, the one in “The Avengers”, the one in “Thor: The Dark World” or the one in “Thor: Ragnarok”.

In itself he can’t really be based on neither of them.

Loki’s characterization in “Thor” is split in two, there’s Loki prior to discovering the truth, and there’s Loki after discovering the truth, mad in shock and grief until he realizes his father would never accept him and let go of Gungnir.

This Loki can’t obviously be the Loki pre-truth but he can’t even be the one post it, as in that one the pain was still too new and raw and mixed with the desperation of denial and the attempt at ‘fixing things’.

So, can he be “The Avengers” Loki?

Marvel’s site confirmed that during “The Avengers” unknown to Loki, he was influenced by the sceptre as well. Very likely he wasn’t influenced in Clint Barton or Erik Selvig style, as the site says:

“Gifted with a Scepter that acted as a mind control device, Loki would be able to influence others. Unbeknownst to him, the Scepter was also influencing him, fuelling his hatred over his brother Thor and the inhabitants of Earth.”

Basically the sceptre on Loki works in a manner similar to how it worked on the Avengers when they started arguing in the Helicarrier. It warped his perception to the point he might have seen them as his most hated enemies, making difficult for him to see Thor was extending his hand to him or that the people were actually just scared but it didn’t make him a mindless, loyal servant. A different type of control on him but one that’s no less dangerous. Anyway I’ve talked at length about it while replying to a post so I’ll just link it here.

Loki is now very far from the sceptre so the mind stone shouldn’t be able to influence him any longer. As a result he’s probably more in control of his emotions.

So… “Thor: The Dark World” Loki?

Close enough but not quite, as that Loki had to go through Odin telling him some pretty awful things and spending a year forgotten by Odin and Thor in a jail.

Even more clearly he can’t be “Thor: Ragnarok” Loki as that one lived a huge chunk of things he hadn’t lived yet… never mentioning Waititi wanted “Thor: Ragnarok” to be his own thing, not a continuation of “The Avengers” and “Thor: The Dark World”…

“I was lucky enough they didn’t force me to acknowledge things- there were certain things in the film, like the play, which makes fun of the scene in The Dark World where Loki dies, but there’s a point to that play, sort of to recap what happened, but also to tell the audience, “This is not what you think it’s going to be, this film is not going to be a continuation of that. It’s its own thing, and what you think you expect from this film ends at this play.”” [Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi]

… while Loki is an alternate continuation of “The Avengers” so it has to be more “The Avengers” compliant than “Thor: Ragnarok”.

In short this Loki is his own Loki… or a Loki we hadn’t seen yet because we weren’t really shown much of Loki post sceptre influence, pre one year of solitary confinement.

Back to the story two things are interesting to point out.

One is that there’s a Variant Skrull as well in the TVA.

The other is that once there the Tesseract lost part of its shiny light as if it powered down.

Last but not least, instead than a futuristic look the TVA has the look of midcentury modern aesthetic as if, instead than going in the future ore remaining in the present, we’ve gone back in time.

Anyway, as another prisoner is dragged into the room, Loki tries to escape and discovers that Hunter B-15 can rewind his time so he’s back where he started. She then gives the Tesseract to a man at a desk, telling him to log it as evidence.

The guy, I’ll spoiler you and tell you his name is Casey, has no idea what it is and it’s Loki who has to explain him it’s the Tesseract and one should be very careful with it. Casey merely find it sounding dumb.

This is our first clue that to the TVA the Tesseract doesn’t matter at all. We’ve finished Phase 3 with the infinity stones raised at the level of immensely powerful artifact but, for the TVA, they’re nothing.

This is the first blow that the “Loki” series gives to the MCU as we previously knew it.

On a sidenote it’s nice Loki explained what it was to the unsuspecting desk man. If this weren’t the TVA he might have ended in the Gobi desert as well just by handling it carelessly.

Hunter B-15 drags Loki to a door and Loki tries to threaten her only to be showed inside that door.

Have you noticed how no one read Loki his own rights so far? That’s because he has none and the story is about to make it even more clear.

In the room there’s a robot of some sort (which I find slightly creepy despite its smile) which would like for Loki to undress. At Loki’s refusal accompanied with a comment that “This is fine Asgardian leather” the robot, without any warning, merely disintegrates his clothes.

Some assumed it was played for laugh but the music doesn’t suggest it, and Loki is clearly upset as he stutters when he speaks again. In real life, when you’re arrested, in many states your belonging are confiscated but they will be returned to you once you’re released or they’re returned to your family.

The TVA destroys them.

A trap door opens below Loki and he finds himself in another room, dressed up in TVA uniforms for Variants.

There’s something I think I need to mention which is I love how the show is characterizing TVA desk people.

The guy we’ve met before had his own character which we could guess despite the few lines and moments in which he appeared.

This new guy is also characterized.

He has a kitten in the room, which moves away slightly as Loki appears, probably scared and a mug with the image of a kitten. It’s tiny details but they made him a person instead of merely something that’s there.

He pushes in front of Loki a huge stack of papers telling him to sign to verify this is everything Loki said. Loki’s two following comments get printed and he’s demanded to sign them as well.

It’s another aspect of the TVA that’s actually unpleasant.

The amount of paper is huge and it would take a lot to read it all in order to check it but… the truth is the request is impossible. People isn’t made so that they can remember everything they’ve said, exactly as they’ve said it and it gets even more troublesome if there isn’t the other half of the conversation but just what we said.

So it’s not even a point to discuss if Loki really said just that stack of paper and nothing more or that stack of paper is too small, or if maybe there’s more paper he’ll have to sign or if that stack of paper only cover his time as a Variant and not the time in which he followed the Sacred Timeline.

The request doesn’t just make the TVA look like a bureaucratic place but shows it demands impossible tasks from its victims.

Oh, another interesting thing I noticed is that the camera is at a slightly lower point when it is on the TVA guy, so, despite the guy being seated, it gives him the impression of being higher than us viewers. On the over side when the camera is on Loki, it’s far from him, with the result of making him look small.

It’s a fine detail that gives us a certain subconscious impression.

The TVA guy stares at Loki as the latter gives up and start signing. It seems he only signed one paper, without even trying to read them all. I wish they had let us see how Loki signs. I wonder if he writes his name with runes, since the inscription on Thor’s hammer was in rune.

We’ll see, we’ll find out Loki knows how to write in English so he might use it to sign.

Anyway as soon as he finishes signing another trapdoor opens below him and he finds himself in another room.

So far the TVA is reminding me more and more of “The House that sends you mad” from “The Twelve Tasks of Asterix”. Well, of a very dark Variant of it to be exact, a Variant that reminds me of something way more unpleasant, but we’ll get there. In the next room Loki is asked:

“Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.”

Loki just asks if there are many people who don’t know if they’re robot and this is taken as a confirmation at which he’s urged to move through it. At Loki’s question he’s told if he actually were a robot and didn’t know it, the machine would melt him from the inside out.

Before thinking the situation is absurd let’s remember Vision exists in the Marvel universe and he’s a robot and he could have been programmed so that he wasn’t aware of this or might lose awareness of it due to a malfunctioning.

So if a Vision variant unaware to be a robot where to show up at the TVA they would just melt him from the inside out, no big deal.

The machine turns out to be a photographic machine, which doesn’t take Loki’s mug shoot but photograph his temporal area, which Loki has no idea what is and no one bothers to explain him.

Again, through the whole procedure there’s no request of consent nor explanations, Loki has no rights for the TVA, he’s merely supposed to comply.

Loki ends up in another room with another ‘convict’. They’re both demanded to take a ticket. The first convict refuses, Loki complain there’s just two of them so it’s useless but complies and put it in his pocket. Loki clearly has better manners or has figured out there’s no point discussing and is bidding his time to when arguing or rebelling might be worth something.

As Loki complains...

“This is a mistake. I shouldn't even be here.”

...we’re introduced with Miss Minute. Miss Minute is a cartoon watch which is supposed to FINALLY help people catch up before they stand to trial for their crimes. We’ll find out that Miss Minute is there not for the convicts’ benefit but for us viewers’ benefit as it explains us the origins of the TVA.

If we want to stretch things it might be there also for the TVA benefit as it might give them a sense of legitimacy.

Anyway Miss Minute’s speech feels like Odin’s speech at the beginning of “Thor”.

Is a self glorifying narration in which they paint themselves as the heroes and something that exist for other people’s benefit.

But it only paints the TVA in an even darker light because when it explains how one becomes a Variant it says:

“But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time-Keepers created. We call those Variants. Maybe you started an uprising, or were just late for work. Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, which, left unchecked, could branch off into madness, leading to another multiversal war. But, don't worry, to make sure that doesn't happen, the Time-Keepers created the TVA and all its incredible workers. The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake and set time back on its predetermined path. Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline, you must stand trial for your offenses.”

A break here.

From this little bit we’re introduced to the idea there’s only 1 timeline because each time another timeline could be born, the TVA erases it. This begs the question of how we’re supposed to judge this bit in “Avengers: Infinity War”

Stephen Strange: [Panting] I went forward in time to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict. Peter Quill: How many did you see? Stephen Strange:14,000,605. Tony Stark: How many did we win? [Dr.Strange stares intently at Tony for a moment.] Stephen Strange: [Pause] One.

If there’s only 1 timeline, it seems impossible there could be 14,000,605 futures… but actually the key might be that there could be 14,000,605 futures… but the TVA erases them. The time stone might show those futures who had the possibility to be born… and that the TVA squashes under their feet, all for the sake to make canon their favourite future, while all the others have to cease and desist. If this is true I do wonder if the actions of the TVA can be undone, so that we can have “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness”.

Back to “Loki” and to what Miss Minute said, which is pretty worrisome and not at all uplifting.

I mean… we can speculate who starts an uprising might be someone bad (which is not necessarily the truth, what about the people involved in the French Revolution or the American Revolutionary War or the Resistance in WW2?) but a poor guy who’s just late for work?

They don’t really see the difference between him and a guy starting an uprising because for them the matter isn’t what they were trying to do or which kind of people they were, just that they created another timeline, a crime they clearly weren’t aware to commit as no one warned them about how this was forbidden by this self imposed authority.

Loki clearly finds all this idiotic but then he hears the previous guy arguing with some sort of guard who demands his ticket. Now the previous guy is clearly a dumb liar, as insists he asked for the ticket but wasn’t given one, when he was loud enough and alone enough everyone in the room could notice he was the one refusing to take a ticket.

Anyway at this point the guard vaporizes him. In short they just murdered him, without trial or anything for the terrible crime of ‘not taking a ticket’.

Loki is appropriately shocked and hurries to get his ticket.

Something that’s also worth mentioning is the whole TVA is clearly structured to make people feel powerless.

There’s no explanation, they’re forcefully dragged in an unknown place by people claiming authority from an unknown structure, they’re forced to comply, they’re stripped naked against their will, dressed all the same, handled like objects who’re not called by their name but ‘Variant’ with even assigned a number, threatened to be melted if they don’t know they’re robot (and what if they know? They don’t take their picture or they just melt them?) and subjected to an explanation in form of a cartoon that feels absurd and that merely has the point of legitimizing the TVA as heroes and them as criminals.

Anyway Loki finds his ticket and shows it in a scene that reminds me of “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”. Do you remember when Indy and his father board a Zeppelin to leave Germany and Indy tosses a Nazi out of the window and explains his actions by saying the guy was without ticket so everyone shows his ticket at him?

Anyway at this point we’re shown the title, “Loki" with a filter that makes it look like an old movie and the letters changing font.

Okay, I’m a bit late but I should probably mention that, form when Loki go to the TVA the colouring had a huge abundance of yellow and brown with basically no blue (except a little in the Miss Minute cartoon) which gives an idea of this being like an old movie. The music is kind of creepy and there’s a clock tickling as we see it.

Which is an interesting idea. Even though the TVA seems so modern, furniture and the structure of the place felt all but modern. Even the robot that stripped Loki felt as if it just came out from a very old and outdated idea of how a futuristic robot would look like.

We resume the story but this time we’re at Aix-En-Provence, in France in 1549.

We’re in a beautiful gothic church and one of the TVA agents, explains that the corpses on the ground belongs to some Minutemen (the name for the TVA agents who do field work apparently) who responded to a routine Nexus event. As soon as they arrived someone jumped on them.

Mobius is there as well, and he’s apparently playing the part of the detective as he’s studying the corpses.

Hunter U-92, another poor guy who apparently has no name but just a number clearly suspect of someone and tells so to Mobius who agrees as the stab wounds look consistent with the previous, the Minutemen were hit on surprise and the reset charge (remember? The stuff that erase the deviation from the timeline) is gone.

Oh we’re also told this is the 6th attack in the last week THAT THEY KNOW OF. I hope for them it’s Saturday, because this would mean ‘only 1’ attack each day. This would be rather terrible if they were just at Monday since the day hadn’t even ended yet.

Now… remember when I was comparing the hunters of the TVA to police and wonder if the show would dig into police brutality?

Well, we’ve this scene in which someone enters in the place and Hunter U-92 is immediately ready to attack him with the wand they used against Loki or some other similar TVA weapon.

Only the one who got in is, apparently, just a kid, not the dangerous variant they’re searching and it’s Mobius who has to stop Hunter U-92 from attacking a kid who, for all they know, is completely unrelated to the crime, a kid that’s far from them and weaponless.

I don’t want to know what would have happened in Mobius hadn’t told him ‘Wait, stand down! Stand down’ (note how he has to say ‘stand down’ twice) and had physically stopped him in his track with his arm.

Mobius approaches the kid, speaking gently in French, apologizing for Hunter U-92’s behaviour, saying he’s just an imbecile.

Hunter U-92, annoyed by his comment, reminds him that he too can speak every language on the timeline, and that in short he can understand what Mobius is saying. The sentence though is more for our benefit, telling us those men can use the TVA version of Allspeak or whatever the “Loki” series wants to call it.

There’s a lovely visual showing us the kid and Mobius met in front of a beautiful stained glass window which depicts Satan.

To get the boy to talk Mobius draws a stick figure on some sort of small tablet he has and then passes it to the boy, telling him to tap on it. The boy does and the figure becomes a walking holographic projection which causes the boy to smile instead than assuming it’s witchcraft and running away screaming.

Okay, we are in 1549 and not in middle age, but that would still feel like magic even at the end of Renaissance age. But whatever, boys sometimes can put aside their fear for something that amuses them and this one had no troubles dealing with the guy killing all those TVA agents.

Anyway Mobius asks the boy if he knows who did that and the boy conveniently does. He points to the figure in the glass stained window, a horned demon, likely Satan. We might think it’s symbolic, that for the boy whoever kills someone is a demon… but… wait a moment.

Anyway Mobius says the boy shouldn’t worry because that devil is afraid of them and that they will put the boy back to where he belongs.

The boy smiles and Mobius notices his teeth are blue. It turns out that the ‘devil’ has gifted the kid with some… candies? Bubblegums?

I’ve no idea if those ‘Kablooie’ are actually some kind of American food, sorry about it but it’s clear although the kid has pointed to a devil, he wasn’t so scared by him to turn down his gift or to not try it out. And a devil giving him a gift doesn’t really feel like someone who wanted to harm him, despite the boy seeing him.

I get this feeling this ‘devil’ is targeting specifically TVA hunters only instead than the timeline or people inside it. He leads them somewhere and then attacks and dispose them. If he’s doing so because the TVA hurt him or because he wants to control the timeline that’s up to speculation.

We’ll later be said this guy is another Loki variant, and in this scenes we were given clues to figure out ourselves, like how he stabbed the TVA agents and how the boy pointed to a demon or, more specifically, to a horned figure, and we knows Loki wears horns when in his full Asgardian attire.

Anyway Mobius takes the ‘candies?’ ‘bubblegums?’ away from the boy and orders Hunter U-92 to run the candies for sequence period and temporal aura… not that Hunter U-92 thinks they’ll find anything but he’s worried because the branch is nearing red line and they need to go. In my understanding if it reaches the red line it could risk creating a multiverse.

Mobius sends the boy to play outside while Hunter U-92 orders to set a reset charge.

Again we aren’t explained what a ‘reset charge’ works.

However we’ve seen the cartoon with Miss Minute and in that one there was a reset charge and when it activated it didn’t rewind the timeline… it erased it. So the creepy things is it could be this reset charge just… destroys everything, erases all the lives in that alternate timeline because, in a way, they’re all Variants, and the TVA disposes of Variants.

Well, I hope I’m wrong because otherwise it means each time the TVA resetted a timeline they basically killed each life living in that universe, which would make Thanos, who ‘only’ killed half the population once, a rather tame mass murderer.

Anyway before the timeline is resetted another TVA person joins Mobius and it shows him a file about the just apprehended Loki. Maybe nobody except me cares but they had previously shown an image of a Loki file and in it there were question marks on where the race was. Now they’ve written ‘Frost Giant’. Either the file shown was for another Loki Variant or they managed to remember Loki was a Frost Giant and fix the file.

It could be the file for another variant though, as his height in it is given as 6’4” while in this file he’s 6’2” (1.88m) which is Tom Hiddleston’s true height (for who’s curious 6’4” is Jeff Goldblum’s height… not that I think the Grandmaster is walking around pretending to be Loki because well, this would be weird…)… or they messed up Loki’s height as well. We’ll see.

As I know some have wondered about it, Loki’s eyes are given as blue and not as green… which is correct as Tom Hiddleston said:

Loki is a sexy villain, but that’s not part of his ambition, is it? He doesn’t seem to be interested in love or sex but he has this sexuality about him, maybe it’s his lust for power. What do you think of Loki as a sexy beast? Tom Hiddleston: [Laughs] That’s the first time anyone has ever used that phrase about Loki. It’s fascinating isn’t it? I don’t know because it’s not a part of the conscious construction. I take relish in playing him. I think there’s a physical self-possession about him, a self-acceptance. Of course I’ve been very exacting about his physicality. You know, I was born with very blonde, curly hair, and a mixture of Scottish and English genes, and my complexion is very ruddy and healthy. In making him with this raven black hair and blanching my face of all color, it changes my features. Suddenly my blue eyes look a lot bluer, which lends a severity to my face. And even my own smile has a distorted menace to it. Whatever comes through me naturally is distorted. It’s almost like a filter on a light. ['Thor: The Dark World’: Tom Hiddleston on boom times for evildoers]

Which implies he never wore green contact lenses to play Loki.

Whatever, we’ll go on.

We’re back to the TVA and Loki’s trial starts.

He’s taken in front of the judge Ravonna Renslayer who addresses to him as Laufeyson. Except for a small comic later retconned in “Thor: The Dark World”, this is the first time in the MCU Loki is called Laufeyson… which is a little sad as he never identified as such (the closest he goes is to say he’s Loki of Jotunheim when he tries to trick Malekith) yet meaningful as well as the TVA evidently never recognized Odin’s ‘adoption’ as valid. For them he’s not Odinson, he’s Laufeyson because that’s what he’s born. ‘Loki Odinson’ in his file is labelled as an alias same as ‘God of Mischief’, nothing more.

But well, they aren’t really interested in his name, for them he’s ‘Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson’. Renslayer informs him he’s charged with sequence violation 7-20-89 which can mean everything and nothing at the same time as, to us, and to Loki, is just a collection of numbers, and asks him how does he plead.

Loki tries, as it’s his habit, to put up a polite yet confident front.

He claims a god doesn’t plead and has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but he'd like to go home… and boys, we know he would really like to do so. He’s putting up a front because we saw how uncomfortable and scared he was through his permanence at the TVA.

In an old interview that’s sadly no more available Tom Hiddleston said:

“The thing with Loki is that, if he’s afraid, he won’t show it. He’s been highly trained, through the experience of his slightly traumatic life, to shield his fears.”

Why didn’t we see him scared in “The Avengers” even though he took risks in it too while now we’re allowed to catch glimpses of his fear here and there?

“The Avengers” had to paint him as the big adversary, the great obstacle the heroes have to overcome.

Are we going to feel that bad for you in this movie, or are you gonna – ? Tom Hiddleston: Yeah. He does some pretty nasty things. On one level, it was like, I knew I had to up the ante because there’s seven superheroes that make up the Avengers, and, in order for the film to work, the film is the most redemptive, feel-good, kind of fist-pumping story. And, in order for the audience to be pumping their fists for Iron Man, and Hulk, and Thor, and Captain America, they need to overcome a really big obstacle. And, unfortunately, that big obstacle is me. [LAUGHS]. I hope I have retained a sense of his kind of emotional damage [like we saw in Thor]. There is a lovely scene with Chris Hemsworth where you see a glimmer of his — his vulnerability, but… he’s yielded to the dark side, you know? [Interview With Tom Hiddleston AKA Loki]

In this episode the Loki we met isn’t the adversary, he’s the main character, so we get glimpses of his true mind. He’s afraid or confuse, yet he reacts to all that by putting up a front, by presenting himself as confident and in control. It started from when he found himself in an unfamiliar situation, facing the Mongolic people and it continues and will continue and mind you, it’s a good and popular technique to hide your fear.

By presenting yourself as confident, your opponent might believe you might have some reason to be confident and be more careful and hesitate in attacking you, and sometimes this is all the advantage you need.

Renslayer remains unfazed, as she likely knows Loki has no advantage over her. She knows he’s powerless, in an unfamiliar environment he knows nothing about, forced to wear a collar that somehow controls his time, submitted to rules he knows nothing about and surrendered by enemies.

Loki isn’t the first who was carried in front of her and she knows he won’t be the last. The system is unjust and the trial a farce but she’s persuaded for it to be righteous and the right way to deal with ‘Variants’ as this leads to the greater good of avoiding wars into the Multiverse so justice and fairness are clearly not something she has to care about.

Anyway she pressures the issue and, understanding she won’t let go, Loki shifts the blame on the Avengers, pointing out how he came into possession of the Tesseract because THEY traveled through time, according to Loki in a ‘last-ditch effort to stave off his ascent to God King’.

So yes, even though he was soundly beaten by them and he’s in a bad spot Loki still tries to play highty and mighty and not cower up in fear. But how did he know about the Avengers travelling through time? We saw he noticed the whole thing with the case, but how did he knew the Avengers were involved and not some other guy?

Remember how I mentioned that “Avengers: Endgame” had Loki walking vaguely near 2022 Tony Stark and we Scott Lang asking Tony if he wears Axe body spray?

Well, Loki clearly has a fine nose because he recognized the Axe body spray coming off from 2022 Tony Stark and figured out he was a future version of 2012 Tony Stark.

It’s kind of a pity they hadn’t kept these bits in the series but whatever, I get why they might have cut them.

Loki, like most of the fandom, blames them as the Time Criminals and suggests if Rendlayer were to provide him a taskforce he could eliminate them for her.

As he spoke we see Mobius intruding in the trial and sitting down as it carries on.

Back to Renslayer, she isn’t interested in the Avengers, claiming they were supposed to go back in the past but Loki wasn’t supposed to grab the Tesseract and escape.

Loki laughs at the absurdity of the statement and demands to know who decided this.

The answer is the Time-Keepers who dictate the proper flow of time so that Renslayer can dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictation.

And you start to see the horror of this system.

The Time-Keepers arbitrarily decide which is the proper flow of time and impose it on everyone. They basically make the rules according to what they like the most… and, of course, they don’t inform anyone of which ones the rules should be.

When Loki picked up the Tesseract and escaped there was nowhere a big warning sign saying ‘if you do so you commit a crime’. He didn’t even know there were Time-Keepers and a sacred timeline and the TVA did nothing to fix this.

While in many countries you’re supposed to know the law and pledging ignorance is not an excuse, the TVA is a self imposed and not recognized Authority of whose existence nobody knows anything which dictate rules according to the Time-Keepers’ tastes.

There’s the risk of total annihilation due to a multiverse war?

Fair worry but then why they get to decide how the sacred timeline should be? Which are their criteria for it? Why the Avengers going back to time was okay?

Although they saved lives, the whole things was incredibly messy as discussed in “The Falcon And The Winter Soldier”… and that series only touched the tip of the iceberg.

But whatever. The Time-Keepers, which Loki defines gods because that’s basically how the TVA paints them, at the moment remind me of the gods of gods in the “Loki: Agent of Asgard” comic and with them the whole idea everything is a tale.

The Sacred timeline feels like nothing else but the tale the Time-Keeper enjoyed, their canon, as if they were Marvel. Everything else is a fictional Au written by fans that gets a ‘cease and desist letter’ and is erased from the net.

Anyway Loki is feed up. He decides to plea ‘guilty’ but not of the crime they’re trying to pin on him but of… using his magic against them. Only his magic doesn’t work.

Hunter B-15 is probably the first who realizes what’s going on and, chuckling, explains it to Renslayer who’s not catching up. As Loki gets angry for not managing to use them, Renslayer explains magic powers don’t work at the TVA, which might explain why she didn’t recognize what Loki was doing while Hunter B-15, used to fieldwork, did. Renslayer might have never seen people using magic powers but Hunter B-15 might have done so.

Only no, because in an interview Gugu Mbatha-raw said about her character:

“She had a history of a hunter and a more military role like Wunmi’s character” [Many Sides of Loki | Marvel Studios' Loki Cast & Creators]

So, no, I’ve no idea why she didn’t catch up. Was she playing dumb? Has she been so out of the field she didn’t recognize the signs? Or, despite being the judge at Loki’s trial she hadn’t read his file and didn’t know he could do magic? It can be, as I said the trial is a farce so she might not have cared to document herself beyond a certain point.

Hunter B-15 is still laughing. She’s enjoying this.

Anyway she decides Loki is guilty and sentenced to be ‘reset’… you know, like the timelines.

Note again how Loki had no rights in this. He had no lawyer, he wasn’t explained things, he was just asked how he pled but that one was more a pro-forma than anything else. They had already decided he wasn’t allowed to do what he did and therefore guilty.

The trial was a farce to give the TVA a semblance of justice but it’s all a show.

Back to Loki, he has no idea what they mean with ‘reset’ and they didn’t even have the courtesy to explain it to him. Angrily he says:

“You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!”

To which Renlayer replies:

“It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was.”

So yeah, now they’ve started with the references to stories which are another subtle jab at the “Loki: Agent of Asgard” plotline.

By the way, keep in mind Renslayer’s reply.

As Loki complains they have no idea what he’s capable of and tries resisting being taken away Mobius speaks up.

Fundamentally Mobius wants Renslayer to pass Loki to him as he has a plan.

There’s clearly a story behind the relation between Renslayer and Mobius, they aren’t just professional to each other, they’re closer than that.

Renslayer agrees although she says he’ll get the blame for whatever goes wrong.

Mobius looks at Loki, Loki stops struggling and asks him who he is and Mobius smiles in a satisfied manner and doesn’t reply.

The scene shifts to them walking through the place, Loki threatening to burn the place to the ground. Mobius clearly doesn’t take him seriously, saying he can start from his desk.

The fact is… Loki is powerless and Mobius knows. We know too, we’ve seen how the trial went. However there might be more at play. Mobius knows the whole of Loki’s life which as far as we know, included only episodes of violence post discovering who he was and during his permanence on Earth.

To him Loki’s statement might feel more an expression of frustration than a sincere threat.

As they walk Loki happens to see the world outside the place he’s in from what looks like a window. He’s surprised and Mobius encourages him to have a look.

Loki points out he though there was no magic there. I’m not sure if he’s saying so because he sees car flying and assume it’s magic.

In “Thor” and “Thor: The Dark World” magic was compared to science so maybe that’s what he’s saying, that the world he sees seems to advanced.

Mobius insists there isn’t magic there so Loki says that’s not real.

They exchange some more lines in which Mobius continues to play on Loki’s declaration he’ll burn the place down.

I’m curious.

We know Mobius is actually chasing another Loki Variant, one who killed many TVA agents (we’ll see some of them got burned down too).

He’ll later claim this Loki is not dangerous, but what’s the difference between this Loki and the other? What makes the other dangerous? And can’t this Loki get dangerous too?

Is Mobius doing the same that Loki does?

Acting confident and joking about Loki burning down the place because he actually fears he might have the potential to just do so if not handled correctly?

We’ll see.

Once they’re on a lift Mobius decides to introduce himself as ‘Agent Mobius’ and offers him his hand to shake… and I’m reminded of this scene from “The Avengers”.

Natasha: But you figured I'd come. Loki: After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate.

The TVA doesn’t see what they’ve done as torture or even as ‘wrong’… but many states wouldn’t approve of some sort of vigilante capture a person for something THEY labelled a crime, force him to undress, destabilize him to the point he’s not even sure if he’s a human or a robot, put him through a mock trial and then threaten him to be ‘reset’.

It’s in dystopic universes you find authorities who can just arrest you for breaking laws they made up without your knowledge and then decide of your life.

Mobius might not be looking like Natasha but, after all this, someone acting like a friend would make him automatically more cooperative and, in a way, it does.

Hunter B-15 had to drag him where Loki just follows Mobius more or less quietly.

Anyway, back to the story.

Mobius decided to introduce himself in a friendly manner and I would want to remark Loki asked him who he was when they were at the trial so this is a rather late introduction which he might be doing right now because we just hear Loki sighing as he’s clearly unnerved.

Mobius is playing the role of the good cop in a way, trying to gain his trust.

Loki doesn’t handshake, he’s not going to make friend so easily, but asks him if he’s taking him somewhere to kill him.

Mobius says no, that’s where he just was which, if it’s not a lie, means that resetting Loki would have meant to actually kill him. So again… what about the timelines that get resetted? All the people in them get killed? The place gets razed to the ground? Disintegrated? What?

Mobius’ reply might be truthful but it’s also clever because he’s setting himself up as Loki’s ‘saviour’. Others wanted to kill Loki but he? He just saved him which begs the question of ‘shouldn’t Loki be a good boy and comply with Mobius’ requests and trust him and all the stuff?’

Now… I know that people feel like Mobius is a good guy because he saved Loki but the story will make clear he didn’t do it out of the goodness of his heart… but merely because he needs him.

We’ve seen Mobius with the boy before, he made him comfortable so that the boy complied and gave him info, which is one of the many interrogating techniques.

That’s what Mobius is doing here.

Anyway we proceed with the best known scene of “Loki” as it was in the very first trailer.

I remember people discussing Mobius’ words about Loki liking to talk, as in the first movie he was often silent and quiet.

Well, to be honest if the movie had been left in his original cut Loki would have surely talked more, but what stuck with me watching “Thor” wasn’t so much that Loki was often quiet, but that many times he attempts to speak but he’s silenced.

On the Rainbow Bridge Volstagg asks him:

Volstagg: What happened? Your silver tongue turn to lead?

…which means Loki normally was skilful at persuading people to believe what they say or to do what they want them to do, which doesn’t necessarily makes him a chatter, but surely someone who knows how to talk. And we see that in “The Avengers” when nobody is there to interrupt him he allows himself to monologue. It’s an interpretation, of course, with whom people can disagree.

Anyway Loki decides to talk with Mobius. It’s not a stupid decision. Mobius is clearly not seeing him as a threat but he’s not being overly hostile either. Loki is completely a fish out of the water so it’s in his own interest to play along with Mobius, talk with him and find out more information about the place. In fact the first thing he asks is how long Mobius had been there, because this is tied in how much knowledge he could have.

In fact, the more he’d been there, the more he might know.

Mobius though remarks since time passes differently at the TVA he has no idea… which is a convenient reply as it only confuses Loki and explains nothing. In fact he could have said not the exact time he’d been there but give an approximation like ‘a lot’ or ‘very little’, instead, by giving out a vague reply he gives Loki an info he could do nothing with (time passes differently) and no real info about himself. At the same time, by giving out an answer, he again seems amicable, like how, when Loki asks what his answer means, he says Loki will catch up, as if he’s not withholding information, it’s just ‘complicate’.

Loki resorts to check the information Miss Minute gave him in her cartoon, which Mobius confirms because he has nothing to lose.

Loki laughs and tries to spark a response by being rude in defining the TVA system.

“The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, yes, it's funny. It's absurd.”

Note, ‘little club’, ‘three space lizards’, ‘funny’, ‘absurd’.

He’s mocking the system, likely in order to get a response, but also in order to gain some measure of control.

It’s something he has done during the trial and is something he did in “Thor: The Dark World” facing Odin… or in “The Avengers” when he was held captive. But in “The Avengers” and “Thor: The Dark World” he had some understanding of what to expect. Here he’s blind flying, trying to test Mobius to see what he can get out of him while still trying to hold a façade of control.

On another note Loki says rather often how all this is absurd. To him this is a world of nonsense, like the one Alice found when she ended up in Wonderland (and it’s ironic how “Alice in the Wonderland” also contain a mock trial about the stealing of tarts in which rules are made on the spot as well as Alice here and there questioning her own identity or discussions about paths…) but I think having him repeat ‘it’s absurd’ so often it’s also for us viewers, to drive home we’re in a dystopic universe.

The TVA isn’t good, it’s absurd, with its rules that don’t make sense, a huge bureaucratic world and we might laugh at it if it wasn’t that’s also an organization that kidnap people from their timelines and subject them to their rules, rules they follow without questioning, like religious fanatics.

Who says what the Time-Keepers chose it has to happen is better than something else? They don’t know but, what’s more, they don’t care.

But let’s go on.

Mobius don’t fall for Loki’s provocation, he just retorts

“I thought you didn't like to talk.”

Which is a convenient way to answer Loki without giving Loki any answer.

They enter in a room which, Loki comments, looks very much ‘like a killing-me kind of a room’.

Mobius turns the situation by shifting the blame on Loki. It’s not that the room looks like a killing-him kind of room, it’s just that Loki is not big on trust. Because Mobius is totally deserving Loki’s trust because he saved him and was nice to him and acted like the perfect good cop so Loki really, should trust him. If he’s not doing it then it’s because he’s lacking in the trusting department.

But Loki had had his fill with trusting people and then discovering he wasn’t his parents’ son nor an Asgardian. His answer his moved by all the pain that discovery caused him.

“Trust is for children and dogs. There's only one person you can trust.”

Mobius’ reply again doesn’t take Loki’s words seriously, as if they were just something to slap on a shirt. He’s being passive aggressive in order to force Loki to question himself and keep control of him. The more Loki is unsure and question himself, the easy for Mobius is to manipulate him.

A break here.

It’s not that everyone has only one person they can trust… actually sometimes you can’t even trust yourself, while some other times you’ve plenty of people you can trust.

The idea you CAN’T trust in anyone is as damaging as the idea you should blindly trust in people but, in Loki’s situation yes, he should definitely only trust in himself, everyone in that situation should do it, trauma of being lied through your whole life or not, because Mobius isn’t doing all his out of good will but out of his need to use Loki.

So he’s not to be blindly trusted, he’s to be assessed so that one can see up until which point Mobius can be of some aid, so as to turn the exchange one of reciprocal benefit. If Loki were to hand himself in his hands, instead, only Mobius would get a gain for it, while Loki would risk to be used and then disposed once he has ended his purpose.

As Mobius is fiddling with a round thing that apparently control a projector, Loki questions him again, but with those words he has raised the bar a little.

If Mobius wants him to trust him, he has to start giving more clear answers.

“If the TVA truly oversees all of time, how have I never heard of you until now?”

Mobius is still good at diverting the attention as his reply irritates Loki and causes him to lose track of the conversation.

Mobius: 'Cause you've never needed to. You've always lived within your set path. Loki: I live within whatever path I choose. Mobius: Sure you do.

There are two things from the exchange.

One is that Mobius ends up confirming that the TVA is sort of a secret organization that decides for others, that’s ABOVE OTHERS. They don’t let you know which rules you’ve to follow, they decide which rule you’ve to follow and then let you blind fly until you stumble into a rule you didn’t know exist and break it. And then they come to punish you. And that’s when you learn they existed.

The second is that again Mobius, while not openly disagree with him, is dismissive of Loki. He has made him defensive by pushing him to say ‘I live within whatever path I choose’ then he hadn’t outright said ‘no, you don’t’ but by the way he replied he hugely implied it in a manner that sounds more like he had said ‘oh, you naïve child, and your delusions, of course you don’t chose your path’.

As Mobius invites him to sit down Loki tries to attack him since Mobius gave him his back but Mobius uses what we’ll learn is a Time Twister to loops him and send him standing back where he was. Then Mobius very calmly insists for Loki to have a seat, again driving home the point that Loki has no choices and is powerless.

Loki complies and sit down.

We can argue if he should have or not but the truth is there was no real point in resisting beyond making things difficult for himself because if there’s something true here is that he’s powerless and he should just bid his time and search for a weakness, instead than resisting.

Of course this is all well and good for Mobius, as things are proceeding in the way he wants.

Loki crosses his arms, which, in body language, hints that he’s feeling anxious, resistant, tense, insecure, afraid, or responding to distress. Arms crossed indicate also defensiveness, unyielding attitudes, and perseverance working as an act of self-comfort.

Long story short, Loki is not comfortable or willing to cooperate and he’s physically putting a barrier between himself and Mobius… and letting Mobius know of this.

Mobius is unfazed.

“If looks could kill.”

It’s a simple sentence that let Loki know that yes, he gets the message Loki isn’t going to go down to this willingly, but also reminds him of Loki’s powerlessness and of how Mobius is unafraid and in a position of power. ‘If looks could kill… you would kill me, but looks can’t kill so you’ll have to sit there and do as I say. Your resistance is futile. Amusing even.’

Loki doesn’t play along, making clear he doesn’t plan to cooperate. At least not easily. Mobius doesn’t believe him.

“Really? Even when you're wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? Come on.”

It’s an interesting sentence for Mobius to say, because he’s lampshading Loki isn’t using with him the same technique he used with Thanos and the Grandmaster. Since the story knows Loki should act more cooperative and obedient according to his previous records, I wonder which point they’re trying to make. Is the idea that Loki started to act as such after his one year imprisonment in Asgard, understanding opening defiling Odin got him nowhere and that he should have instead played along, therefore this Loki hadn’t gotten to that point yet?

Or is the idea Loki is deliberately choosing to act like this because he has already figured playing along with Mobius wouldn’t work?

We’ll see.

The answer could as well be a Doylist one, the audience expects him to act a certain way, the author is aware Loki normally acted in a certain way but they wanted him to act differently for… reasons.

We’ll see.

Mobius continues to make a show of his power. He is specialized in the pursuit of dangerous Variants but not like Loki, Loki is just a pussycat… only it’s EXACTLY like Loki… as it’s Loki he’s pursuing. Another version of him. He’s not telling him that though, exactly because the whole point of the discussion is making Loki feel small so that he can control him.

Credits when it’s due, Mobius is playing a dangerous game because the Loki he’s pursuit and this one might be two different Variants but they’re always Loki and this one has all the potential to become the same as the other, if he’s not already and just keeping it buried inside himself.

Anyway, the fact that Loki is so contrary, forces Mobius to act as if he were willing to make Loki some concessions for his cooperation. A reward for good behaviour if so we can call it.

“You answer them honestly, and then maybe I can give you something you want. You wanna get out of here, right?”

The truth is I genuinely doubt Mobius can grant him that, or, at least, not that in the way Loki might intend it. The TVA erased the timeline he came from. He has no more a place outside of the TVA. The most ‘getting out of there’ could mean is what will later happen, make him a worker for the TVA. He won’t be allowed to go back home, he’ll just have to serve them in exchange for having them not delete him.

Mobius though shifts cards and pretends it means he can go back to where he was, asking him what he would do, should he return.

I particularly enjoy this dialogue.

Mobius: You wanna be king? Loki: I don't want to be, I was born to be. Mobius: I know, but king of what exactly? Loki: ( Scoffs ) You wouldn't understand. Mobius: Try me. Loki: Midgard.

The ‘I don’t want to be’ echoes what Loki said to Thor in “Thor”…

“I never wanted the throne! I only ever wanted to be your equal.”

…and ties in with what Odin told him as a child…

“Only one of you can ascend to the throne. But both of you were born to be kings.”

Which is something Loki hints at in “Thor: The Dark World” as well.

Frigga: You know full well it was your actions that brought you here. Loki: My actions. I was merely giving truth to the lie that I had been fed my entire life, that I was born to be a king.

“The Avengers” suffers of a huge plot problem in this regard, which is the jump between Loki in “Thor” and Loki in “The Avengers”. In the year that went between the two Loki is deeply changed but “The Avengers” refused to explain why, it just shows us a different Loki.

To search for an explanation we’ve to read interviews:

“And in the time between the end of Thor and the beginning of the Avengers, Loki has explored the shadowy highways and byways of the universe – and he’s met some terrible, terrible people and probably had some awful experiences, which he has survived and overcome. So by the time he arrives in The Avengers, he knows the extent of his power – and he’s unafraid to use it. And more importantly, he’s unafraid to enjoy it.” In Marvel’s The Avengers, Loki sets out to remake Earth as his personal kingdom. “That’s his motivation. Thor has his own kingdom in Asgard. Why shouldn’t Loki have his own? As Loki sees it, planet Earth is a world at war with itself. All of these races and tribes are fighting each other. And if they were united in the reverence of one king, there would be peace. It’s not that he plans to attack Earth. It’s that he plans to ‘restructure’ it as a new kingdom of which he will be the head. Loki feels that it’s his birthright. He feels that he was born to rule. And he sees the human race as an incredibly weak people who actually were made to be ruled. And, in his mind and in his opinion, the human race functions better under rule.” [The art of The Avengers]

“I think he went, like with everything else, to—Joss Whedon and I discussed it—to a sort of… it was just, like, the worst place imaginable. I think he went to, sort of, all of the darkest recesses of the universe. I’m sure he had a brush with—several brushes with death. I think he ran into the shadiest characters you can find in the Nine Realms. I think he had to rely on his wits to protect himself. It was really, really, really unpleasant, I think. I don’t have any frame of reference for that, except for imagining what it might be like to be kidnapped by a terrorist or something and have to survive a very, very frightening and precarious existence. But whatever it was, it was important when Loki came back for The Avengers, that whatever compassion he had left was absolutely shriveled to a minimum because of the experience that he had. Harrowing, I think, and scarring for life—in a way that Thor and Odin and Frigga find very, very difficult to understand.” [Tom Hiddleston - live on stage Q&A: Popcorn Taxi - part 2]

And in the end we stumble into this:

“Well, I can’t tell you exactly what went on because it’s this dark, dark secret that I didn’t make up yet. But, the other day, I had trouble with that because he had this very passionate Shakespearean tragedy thing going on in Thor and then I needed a villain who’s not only capable, but ready and willing and anxious to take on all these heroes. For me, he just basically went on some horrible walkabout… That was pretty much as far as I got.” [Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again ]

So fundamentally “The Avengers” didn’t know what happened to Loki that changed him, they just went with the idea something bad happened, which of course should have happened since Loki met up with Thanos, who’s famous for torturing his daughters. They also tossed in that while on Midgard he was under the influence of the Mind stone.

“Gifted with a Scepter that acted as a mind control device, Loki would be able to influence others. Unbeknownst to him, the Scepter was also influencing him, fuelling his hatred over his brother Thor and the inhabitants of Earth.” [www.marvel.com/characters/loki/on-screen]

Ultimately though, what happened is never stated nor explained.

When Loki wants Asgard’s throne it’s clear he’s doing so because he associates it with his father’s love. Who gets the throne is the son Odin’s love.

“To prove to Father that I am the worthy son. When he wakes, I will have saved his life. I will have destroyed that race of monsters. And I will be true heir to the throne!”

But Midgard? Midgard is chosen by Thanos, because he needs the Tesseract, which is there. Did Loki wanted it too? Or was it Thanos who chose for him? Hard to say but “The Avengers” still ties Loki’s wish for a kingdom to his father.

THE OTHER: You question us? You question him? He who put the scepter in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated? LOKI: I was a king! The rightful kind of Asgard! Betrayed! THE OTHER: Your ambition is little, born of childish need. We look beyond the Earth to greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil.

It makes sense. When Loki is told his whole life is a lie, his first action is try to erase the truth by erasing Jotunheim. That was as much personal as practical (they were at war with Jotunheim). Becoming a king might have been another attempt at still erasing the truth. He doesn’t attempt to become king of Jotunheim, as it would be his birthright, but of something else, Midgard. He’s imitating Odin.

Loki: I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god. Just like you.

All this to say that Loki’s reply ‘I don't want to be, I was born to be’ is actually a lot more layered that it sounds is actually a lot more layered that it sounds and that’s why he doesn’t think Mobius would understand it and gives him a simple answer, something he thinks he could understand. A location over which he could rule.

At the same time the irony of the situation isn’t lost on me. A moment ago Loki said he ‘live within whatever path he chooses’ yet he claims he was born to do something. This wasn’t a choice, this was predetermination. Or letting Odin dictate his path.

Anyway Loki claims he would then move to conquer Asgard and the Nine Realms and agree when Mobius suggests him to go for the space… and honestly I think here Loki is just playing a part. He’s giving Mobius the answers he thinks Mobius wants, an evil Loki. “Loki” clearly is not going to retcon “Thor: Ragnarok” and we’ve seen that in that movie once Loki had the throne of Asgard he didn’t start a conquering rampage but just contented himself with it.

So, no, Loki doesn’t want to rule the universe, he just wants to prove himself something he was told was true.

Mobius don’t take him seriously, either because he knows Loki doesn’t aim to universe domination or because this is convenient for him. He says something interesting though, albeit misleading.

Loki: Mock me if you dare. Mobius: No, I'm not. Honestly, I'm actually a fan. Yeah. And I guess I'm wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule?

With ‘I’m actually a fan’ I don’t think he means he supports Loki, I think he’s subtly hinting he’s very interested in Loki. The other Loki, the Variant he’s trying to catch and that holds them all in a stalemate. Kind of like Sherlock Holmes might have appreciated Professor Moriarty’s intellect. This Loki and his other Variant might have a shared past… which makes this Loki interesting as well.

Then Mobius lead Loki in a loop in Loki’s reasoning. Loki is big on how he decides what he does. He values his own freedom. A huge part of why he reject the TVA system is because they want to dictate what he can and can’t do.

Yet in “The Avengers” he said:

Loki: I come with glad tidings, of a world made free. Fury: Free from what? Loki: Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart...[Like a gunslinger, Loki turns to face Selvig who's standing behind him and places his spear against Selvig's heart. Selvig's eyes glow black.] Loki: You will know peace.

and

Loki: Kneel before me. [The crowd ignores him. Three more Loki's appear, surrounding and blocking the crowd from escaping.] I said KNEEL! [While the crowd quietly kneels, Loki embraces out his arms with a wide smile] Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

It’s unclear how Loki came up with those ideas, albeit the fact he came from Asgard, which is a place where Odin rules as a supreme ruler and humans are viewed as inferior…

Odin: She does not belong here in Asgard anymore than a goat belongs at a banquet table.

…this might be another result of Odin’s awesome parenting, and not necessarily the result of Thanos’ manipulation… though the two might have superimposed so that it’s hard to say where one stop and the other begins.

Loki confirms this view here as well.

Loki: I would've made it easy for them. Mobius: People like easy. Loki: The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom. Mobius: How's that one go? Loki: For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. There's a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken.

On a personal note I think Loki wants to see himself above of this, but it’s clear that he too had to deal with choices that breed shame, uncertainty and regret, never mentioning he believes he was seen as inferior by Odin and deprived of his path.

Loki: So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me.

The fact he thinks Odin would have never put on the throne of Asgard a Frost Giant (a monster and therefore even more inferior in the Asgardians’ opinion than humans) no matter what and that he thinks this got confirmed when Odin told him he couldn’t do it, which pushed him to let go of Gungnir.

Loki wants to be above… he wants to be the master of his fate after instead he was forced to dance on other people’s strings (Odin, Thanos) but deep down he’s drawing from his own experience the downsides of freedom. He just wants to overcome them.

Mobius then says he’ll show Loki a sampling of Loki’s greatest hits… which are basically the end of the battle of New York.

It’s fundamentally a close up of how he was beaten and how he asked for a drink, which Mobius mocks further offering him a drink, which Loki refuses pointing out he remembers that scene.

We kind of stumble in a problem the series has. Mobius says:

“It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it's in your nature.”

The problem here is that the sentence is misleading. Loki at the moment has two big failures on his shoulders, the one in “Thor” and the one in “The Avengers”. It doesn’t make a lot and note that in “The Avengers” he also had minor successes. He walked away from SHIELD’s facility with the Tesseract, he managed to have Clint Barton steal the Iridium, he let the Avengers capture him so that he could let the Hulk lose, which worked and he could recover the scepter and escape, he managed to open the portal and let the Chitauri in. Basically, since he let himself be captured and even Steve knows, Loki won all the battles except the one who decided the war. Which yes, was a big loss because it was the one that mattered the most but still it shows Loki’s losing record isn’t as big as Mobius makes it look like.

Loki ends up bringing up Coulson. To prove his point that Loki isn’t really good at winning Mobius could bring up the fact that Coulson was resurrected in “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” but no, he prefers to say the Avengers came together to literally avenge him by defeating him.

Now yes, Coulson’s death played a big part in all that, they felt guilty and sorry for him, as they all were tied to him one way or the other and this made what Loki did personal enough they could easily put away their differences… but I’m not overly fond of this theory because it implies if Coulson hadn’t died the Avengers would have never came together, would have never overcome their difficulties and would have lost.

Which, I guess, might be a possibility “Loki” might want to explore, we saw in a trailer an image of New York completely destroyed… but it’s something I don’t particularly like because it paints the Avengers in a pretty dark light.

If they didn’t have a common grief, they would have never cooperate for the common good.

Of course it’s not that Mobius care, this explanation is convenient for him, an Augustinian view of evil in which evil collapse its evil’s own doing. Because Loki killed Coulson, Loki set up his own defeat. Evil loses because it’s a snake that bites its own tail… which is an interesting view, really, but, in this case, it put a huge shadow on the Avengers.

Whatever, let’s go on, Mobius’ point is to make Loki feel small, not to explain him why he lost.

But still… he would manage to make a better point if the series weren’t forced to use only the footage from the movies. But well, I guess they had no other choice.

I enjoy the next bit of discussion. Mobius asks Loki:

“Do you enjoy hurting people? Making them feel small? Making them feel afraid?”

Which is exactly what he’s doing to him. There’s a huge irony in the whole discussion. They both think they’re in the right doing what they’re doing/what they did and that this excuses their actions.

They set up a moral motive, Loki sees himself as a liberator, Mobius sees himself as the saviour of the sacred timeline so they are above others, they came make them feel small and afraid and don’t have to feel guilty for it.

They get to a stalemate, although Loki isn’t looking at the screen, which is our clue he isn’t enjoying what he’s seeing, the people suffering. He didn’t like to look at them in “The Avengers” either, not looking when he ‘freed that eyeball’ as Mobius put in. Even when Thor forces him to look at the attacked city he shows he’s distressed. Loki however enjoyed being at the centre of the attention, it’s that what got him to smile, not hurting that man.

But whatever, to try to compensate, the series shows us some unseen material from Loki’s past, namely when he played the role of D.B. Cooper.

On a sidenote this hugely confirms my theory Loki used to hang out on Earth since he could play that part. Among the other things which the series didn’t show Cooper appeared familiar with the local terrain; at one point he remarked, "Looks like Tacoma down there," as the aircraft flew above it. He also correctly mentioned that McChord Air Force Base was only a 20-minute drive (at that time) from Seattle-Tacoma Airport. He asks for 2 bourbon and soda, paid his drink tab (and attempted to give flight attendant Tina Mucklow the change). He even offered to request meals for the flight crew during the stop in Seattle This makes Loki someone who knows very well how things work in Midgard… contrary to Thor.

Mobius introduces the whole thing saying

“You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away.”

And yes, it was awful. Although Cooper is described as extremely polite I can’t imagine that the crew who knew he had a bomb onboard felt comfortable with dealing with that situation. The worst part though is that he did it because he lost a bet with Thor.

Now they don’t exactly dig in what the bet was, but Heimdall was likely watching his every move and Thor asking him to do something similar as penance for losing a bet paints Thor also as pretty awful.

The best part though is that Loki excuses it by saying ‘he was young’. The whole thing took place in 1971, in short, 41 years before “The Avengers”. 41 years are a lot for a human, enough to make them say ’41 years ago I was young’, but Loki is at least 1047 in “The Avengers”. We don’t know how fast exactly Frost Giants and Asgardians age but, unless they do an abrupt jump, if Loki was young 41 years ago, he probably still is, which would match with the fan theory he’s actually around 17 in human years.

Now we can take Loki’s sentence as something a young person would say, as in a span of a short time they effectively grow and change a lot so their slightly younger self might feel a lot younger to them, or he might be talking in a more metaphorical sense.

Discovering the truth about himself and what followed forced him to grow faster. Now he wouldn’t do such immature things… which is a rather sad though.

At Loki’s request of where was the TVA back then, Mobius replies they were right there with him, just surfing that Sacred Timeline. Loki asks then if that has the Time-Keepers' seal of approval.

He scores one on this one as Mobius can’t reply, he just says not to think in terms of approval or disapproval.

Let’s remember something else that had the Time-Keepers' seal of approval was Thanos wiping away half of the universe but not just that. There’s also Thanos travelling through time to get to that future and stop “The Avengers” from undoing what he did with the infinity stones, which means they approved Tony Stark’s death in order to stop him.

Awesome people, don’t you think? More similar to writers who’ve to sell a good story than to people who care and wants to protect the people who lives in the timeline.

Anyway Mobius says they’ll go back to Loki’s escape and to a little psychobabble, which tells us not even Mobius sees this as a psychology session or therapy or whatever you want to call it. This interrogatory’s aim isn’t to let him know Loki better, he believes he knows him already. He’s trying to shape Loki into a willing collaborator because that’s his goal, not heal Loki or whatever.

Mind you, I think he’d like to get to know Loki in the sense he’s trying to catch a Loki and knowing Loki better might help him in his work… but so far he really hadn’t asked anything he didn’t know already so no, this isn’t a big ‘let’s get to know Loki’, though he might find some interest in seeing what makes him tick in the conversation, this is just a ‘let’s manipulate Loki into cooperating’.

Loki wants to stand, Mobius uses the Time Twister to loops him ‘back in his cage’. Because don’t mistake the situation just because he’s not being aggressive or physically abusive, Loki is in a cage and Mobius makes a show of showing it to Loki. He can’t stand up without Mobius’ permission and Mobius further remarks it by saying he ‘can play the heavy keys, too’, in short that he can play the role of the ‘bad cop’ that slams back the prisoner in his chair when he tries to move.

Or should we assume Mobius feared Loki was going to attack him?

Maybe, as I said Loki and Mobius might be more similar than it looks like, both acting in control and high and mighty to hide they are actually in a tight spot. Mobius isn’t a hunter, he might not be strong, he might not know how to fight beyond waving that Time Twister and the TVA wand, while Loki knows. We don’t know from which race Mobius is, but Asgardians and Frost Giants are naturally very physically strong, much stronger than humans, and Mobius might belong to a race that’s just not the same.

But still the scene works conveniently for Mobius, because it’s another chance to drive home how he completely control Loki.

Loki’s reply, regardless of it being sincere or not, is good because it says Mobius just overreacted as Loki merely wanted to make a point.

After an exchange in which Mobius gives him permission to stand and Loki remarks he’ll do what he wants, which in a way he did since ultimately he stood, he asks him what he wants.

Mobius says

“I want you to be honest about why you do what you do.”

Loki calls it a lie and he’s probably not completely right but neither completely wrong. Mobius likely doesn’t care about why Loki did what he did in the past, that’s not a time he has to deal with, but he cares about forcing Loki to be honest. Loki has to trust him and cooperate with him and this includes that he has to open up. Mobius has to already know the answer to his questions, otherwise he could never know if Loki is being honest and he knows them because he knows Loki’s future, how he evolves, how it pained him to see Frigga die, how he saved Thor even though it lead him to be stabbed, how he didn’t aim for space domination when he was king of Asgard, how he came back to save Asgard, how he died for his brother.

So Mobius is not lying when he says he wants Loki to be honest… but that’s not because he cares about the answer, which is what Loki figured and why Loki called him a liar. It’s a matter of control and Loki can see it.

Loki: I know what this place is. Mobius: What is it? Loki: It's an illusion. It's a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt at control. Now, you all parade about as if you're the divine arbiters of power in the universe.

And Mobius claims to be sure to have such a role which again, it’s an awesome irony because they both play the same game, they act as if they’re superior than others.

Mobius shows him his speech about freedom, which of course feels like a slap on his face because now it’s turned against him and his mad scramble for power.

Loki catches up and insists on his freedom, on how he’s the one in charge of his destiny who will win because HE did it, not because it was supposed to happen or was allowed by the TVA.

Mobius tries to bring him down again informing him if he hadn’t picked up the Tesseract he would have been taken to a cell on Asgard… or, you know, he might have been out there killing TVA men staging the 7th attack in the last week that they know of. But let’s not tell this to Loki at this stage. It might give him ideas about not being completely powerless against the TVA.

Mobius shows him the scene of his return to Asgard, which Loki rejects as a trick as ‘it never happened’.

Mobius agrees, it didn’t happen TO HIM, but it would have because they know also how his future was meant to be and that he should think of it as ‘comforting’. Which is not considering how his life was meant to be.

Note how Mobius is showing him only Frigga. How she was there for him when he came back, how she asked him if she wasn’t his mother and how he rejected her, hurting her. Loki doesn’t know what the argument was about or what pushed him to say so, all he sees is her being there for him and him hurting her and as he watches he moves closer.

Then Mobius explains how Loki believed to send the dark elves to Thor and instead sent them to Frigga… only he’s conveniently overlooking Loki had no idea they were Dark Elves or that there was a Dark Elves attack. Loki assumed the Kurse was just another Marauder arrested by Thor.

The Marauders were a collective of loosely affiliated alien pirates composed of many different races. When the Kurse is captured no Asgardian figured out what he is, they’re all persuaded the Dark Elves are dead, exterminated by Bor. For all Loki’s know this is a prison uprising, the Dark Elves’ ships hadn’t even appeared yet and started their attack when Loki sent Kurse on his way.

Mobius is cherry picking facts so as to shape them the way he wants.

Loki is shocked at seeing Frigga’s death which Mobius knew would have happened because he knew how he reacted when this happened.

He tries to rationalize what he saw by thinking they captured Frigga and forced her to play that part, while Mobius insists that’s the proper flow of time and that’s what has to happen because it has to and the TVA makes sure of it. However, although the TVA ensures Frigga’s death, he tries to make it all Loki’s fault. He caused it, and now Mobius wants to know if he enjoys hurting people, as if he could not know how devastated Loki was when Frigga died. He asks him if he enjoys killing people like he did with his mother.

He knows the past time Loki felt completely responsible for it, he’s trying to get him to feel the same even if Loki actually never meant to kill Frigga.

On a sidenote, he’s trying to send him on a vulnerable loop to get his collaboration like Thor did that time… but it’s a dumb move. Let’s assume Loki swallows they could send him back to his time and accepts to submit to being jailed. The TVA would still ensure he would direct the Kurse to Frigga so that she’ll die because this is the proper flow of time for them.

Although I doubt he meant it, Mobius actually isn’t giving Loki reasons to cooperate with him permanently, just to think harder to a way to avoid that future.

I don’t really know what Mobius is thinking but he seems so sure that he can come out as so overly powerful and righteous he can both bend Loki to his will by saying he’s to blame for Frigga’s death and, at the same time, that he should do nothing to prevent it.

Anyway at this point Loki attack him and is looped again. He ends on the ground with Mobius apologizing, BEFORE PUTTING THE TIME TWISTER IN HIS POCKET, saying it because the Time Twister just loops him, not the furniture… but he actually meant it, because Loki had been standing by a while and he could have looped him to just standing there.

Mobius goes on trying to make him again feel even more smaller.

“You weren't born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.”

In short he was born to be used by the sacred timeline to create heroes. But it’s a ridicule argument, in itself, because every living being create pain and suffering in his life, albeit sometimes in smaller measure than Loki or for better reasons. And the idea that people become better only through pain and suffering and death… is scary because somehow it legitimize it. It makes right to kill Coulson because then the Avengers can be born. It makes right for Thanos to wipe away half of humanity because so the Avengers joined forces again.

It’s a damaging and wrong mindset… that Mobius is of course pushing forward because that’s the narrative the TVA spins. They don’t save people, they just decide who lives and die according to their taste… which works if you’re a storywriter but it’s awful if you’re talking of real people.

Loki calms down and asks again what is that place. Mobius offers him his hand in a classic stick and carrot game. He wants Loki to obey. Loki complies and they’re interrupted by Hunter B-15. Mobius is forced to leave with her but not before telling Loki:

“Don't go anywhere. It was just getting good. Spirited.”

In short he was enjoying making Loki feel miserable, which I don’t think he does because he’s a jerk but just because that’s his job. Like Hunter B-15, they’re very motivated in doing their job to the point they don’t realize the other isn’t just ‘a variant’ but a person with feeling. They think they’re doing the people a service by murdering the extra.

Kind of like how Thanos saw himself as noble when he murdered half of the people in the universe to save the other half and expected people to feel grateful to him.

By the way, do you think that Loki is complying too easily?

Not really, do check the way he let Mobius pull him up and how he then moves his left hand for a moment inside his pocket to pull it out immediately afterward. We’ll come back to it in a moment. For now let’s follow the plot that has Hunter B-15 claiming that talking ‘to that Variant’ is a mistake as he should just be reset, read, if Mobius had been honest, killed.

For Hunter B-15 Loki is not a person, he’s just a Variant, a Variant to destroy. Actually it’s not even because the other Loki Variant is killing their units, because Mobius says she thinks all the Variants should be reset.

And remember about how Loki could be in a jail or plotting the 7th attack in the last week that they know of? Well, that’s just what the other Loki variant did as they just lost another unit.

I know I should be cheering for this Loki but I’m also really cheering for that other Loki variant. Go burn the TVA to the ground.

Mobius goes back to Loki and… discovers he disappeared. Because when Loki let Mobius pull him up he caught his chance to stuff his hand in Mobius’ pocket, steal the Time Twister and put it in his own pocket. That’s what Loki was thinking when he calmed down, a plan to get out of there, a chance to take the Time Twister.

Now… don’t the TVA know in advance what happens in the TVA? What the Variants would do once they’re captive? Because Mobius seems genuinely surprised and they’ve to search for Loki so for all their bragging about knowing everything and controlling everything maybe they actually don’t. They can’t control the Variants, which is why the other Loki Variant can attack without them knowing in advance. Their sacred timeline doesn’t cover it so they’re blind to it.

Of course it’s possible he let Loki take it on purpose but I want to think against it.

We see that Loki has looped himself in an early point of his entrance in the TVA and has noticed Casey, the guy at the desk who has taken the Tesseract. He follows him, clearly planning to get the Tesseract back and, with it, to leave the place.

Mobius and Hunter B-15 search for Loki, giving each other the blame for his disappearance. Hunter B-15 would like to catch this chance to dispose of Loki but Mobius rejects the idea since he believes he can still help.

Loki tracks Casey down. Casey recognizes him and he forces him to kneel behind the desk. He asks him his name and once he has it he tells him in his most threatening tone to give him the Tesseract or he’ll gut him like a fish.

Only Casey wants to know what’s a fish because he wants to know what he’s being threatened with, before complying and he has spent all his life behind a desk so he has no idea what a fish is. I guess he also doesn’t know what it means gutting.

Loki can’t imagine not knowing what a fish is… which is kind of weird because he should know for example humans never head of bilchsnipes… but maybe due to his name he’s thinking Casey is human. Honestly the whole TVA staff seems human. Can I say I don’t like it?

In the comics though, the TVA staff was made by people cloned. They literally were made by the TVA. I wonder if this is Casey’s situation.

Anyway Loki clarifies he’s threatening him with death. It doesn’t unfazed Casey much (do people die INSIDE the TVA?) but, to Loki’s relief, he complies, opens his drawer and give him the Tesseract whose light is still mostly turned off. Loki feels a moment of relief before noticing that in the drawer there are assorted infinity stones.

At Loki’s confusing Casey explains they get a lot of those, enough to use them as paperweight. I guess the infinity stones influence might allow people to do different choices and become Variants as they can influence them.

Something inside the TVA though, turns off their power.

Loki is confused as he picks up a green one, which should be a time stone. We hear the sound of stones moving but we can’t see if he placed it back where it was.

Loki is utterly confused as he walks away with the Tesseract in a daze looking at the sacred timeline and wondering if the TVA is really the greatest power in the universe. Behind him, Casey nods.

The elevator opens, Hunter B-15 tries to hit Loki but Loki uses the Time Twister to disappear again so she misses him completely and almost hits poor Casey. Note that the blow would have been fatal for either Loki or Casey.

Hunter B-15 didn’t care of how Mobius said no pruning or resetting, we can see that the cart, which gets hit instead of Loki, disappear.

This time Hunter B-15 didn’t go for physical pain, she went for the kill.

Loki is back in the interrogation chamber where he put the Time Twister on the table and watches on the projector his future. First Frigga’s death, as if to try to accept it, and he’s almost in tears, then he lash forward to Odin telling him and Thor that he loves them and that they should remember that place. This too touches him emotionally. He sees Thor telling him how he thought the world of him and he sees them fighting side by side against Hela and then telling him maybe he’s not so bad. He smiles at seeing that, laughing sadly but then… he sees his death at the hands of Thanos. It’s obviously traumatic but, I hope, when he can think at all that in perspective, he’ll be able to see the truth.

He wasn’t born to cause pain and suffering and death. He also saved lives, his brother’s specifically but also the ones of some Asgardians.

And, at the same time, he could see, he could learn his father and brother did love him, or at least that was the intended message of those scenes (I won’t dig into them portraying it correctly or not).

The file about him ends.

Loki gives into a slightly hysterical chuckling and the door behind him opens. It’s Hunter B-15 who asks him what’s so funny.

Loki replies ‘Glorious purpose’ which can mean all and nothing. According to the file his glorious purpose wasn’t to become king, but not even to cause pain and suffering and death. At the same time it’s not a particularly uplifting message the one that file gave him. The moment he could start again with Thor, Thanos killed him. In the end, even if he tried to change, his life would be one of pain and suffering until his death.

Loki and Hunter B-15 fight and somehow she doesn’t have anymore her murdering wand nor the men following her.

She’s alone and disarmed but she’s clearly a trained to fight and rather strong. Loki is smarter though. As soon as she slams him on the table he grabs the Time Twister, unlatches his collar and wraps it around her neck. Then takes on her his revenge for having been looped way too many times that day by looping her a lot until he makes her disappear. Where to I’ve no idea but I hope for him far enough. He was clearly taking out on her all the abuse he suffered from her and Mobius. In the end he tosses the Time Twister again on the table.

Meanwhile Casey is retelling his misfortunate meeting… evidently finding the idea that Loki would turn him into a fish much worse than the idea Loki threatened to kill him and then complains about the hunters showing up and pruning his cart.

Really, it makes me wonder if the TVA doesn’t use the world ‘dead’ in conversation. It’s all ‘reset’ or ‘prune’. I’m not saying they don’t know of it, just that they don’t use it to define what they do because it would make them look bad. You murder a living being. You reset a timeline, prune a branch. There’s a psychological difference that allows them to see Variants not as living beings but as objects.

As he speaks Hunter B-15 appears in front of him so that’s where Loki sent her.

Meanwhile Loki has remained in the room in which he was. He seems worn out as he sat on the floor against a wall, his face in his hands and the Tesseract set next to him.

Mobius, who gets into the room holding one of those TVA wands, finds him like that. Mobius rubs in he has nowhere left to run.

Loki states how he can’t go back to his timeline, then decides to comply with Mobius previous request. He tells him he doesn’t enjoy hurting people, he does it because he has to, because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. And claims to be a villain.

Is he being sincere or just telling Mobius what he wants to hear?

I like to think he’s being both. In “The Mentalist” Patrick Jane once tried to teach Teresa Lisbon how to gain someone’s trust. His first suggestion was to ask that person for a favour, so that they would feel more powerful, when this didn’t work he told her to get that person to lower their guard she should lower her own. I get the feeling Loki is doing this. He’s lowering his guard, giving Mobius what he wants, so that Mobius will lower his guard too. Like when he accepted his hand only to steal the time twister.

There’s a power in being sincere as well, which is to make Mobius feel more powerful by giving him power and therefore push him to underestimate Loki.

Mobius, who previously told him

“You weren't born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.”

Now saying him that’s not how he sees it.

He’s either giving him the carrot in his carrot and stick game or he’s just remarking one of the main characteristics of the TVA. The TVA is neutral, they don’t approve or disapprove actions, people has no choice, they’ve to follow a path and Loki’s path was to do what he did so that others could become better. The TVA doesn’t really seems to care of the moral axis of Loki’s alignment… or their own or everyone else, they only care of the ethical alignment.

Now, as I’ve seen fandom discuss this, in roleplays people created character alignments to give an ‘ideal’ for a character to live up.

This caused the birth of two Axis, the moral axis (Good, Neutral, and Evil) and the ethical axis (Lawful, Neutral, and Chaotic).

The alignments of the moral axis are pretty easy to figure out, so I’m not even discuss them, but the one of the ethical axis are basically meant to tell if a character follows the law or not.

The TVA is clearly lawful aligned, they blindly follow their rules as if they were a dogma, a faith. Hydra is lawful. Steve Roger is lawful, as he wants to follow rules.

Loki in a good part of the movies doesn’t follow the rules, we saw it from the start, in “Thor” he decided to act to interrupt the coronation, which was against the rules of Asgard, and then he tricked Laufey, which is against the rules of war. In “The Avengers” he let himself be arrested so as to unleash the Hulk. In “Thor: The Dark World” he pretended to join forces with Malekith so that he would remove the Aether from Jane and then stole from Odin the throne… and so on. He’s not the only one though, Thor himself as moments in which he’s chaotic, like when he invades Jotunheim against his father’s order and how later will invade that SHIELD facility, or how he’s challenge his father again in “Thor: The Dark World”.

Actually all the Avengers here and there had been chaotic… and here and there had been lawful.

Loki’s situation places him more on the chaotic axis because he has no other master but himself. In short he doesn’t respect anyone else’s rules, sometimes not even his own as he claims Frigga isn’t his mother when he clearly feels she is and fights to avenge her… but he too had his own moments of being lawful.

That’s because people aren’t roleplay characters and they wouldn’t feel realistic if they were just sitting on one alignment.

But whatever, let’s go on.

Loki picks up the Tesseract, and Mobius asks him if he tried to use it.

“Oh, several times. Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. ( Scoffs ) The TVA is formidable.”

And here we’ve Loki trying on ‘wooing someone powerful he intend to betray’, to put it with Mobius’ words. I wonder if Mobius can realize it or he’s so sure in his idea he’s powerful he misses it.

Either way he has gotten what he wanted, Loki acting this way means he has acknowledged they’re powerful enough he has to play along with them.

Mobius tell him:

“I can't offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better.”

And here I feel an echo of Thor in “Thor: The Dark World”:

“I did not come here to share our grief. Instead I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament.”

I wonder if Mobius is trying to play that same game to get Loki to cooperate. Loki though has seen the video. Maybe he knows too. And well, at least Mobius came out more honest because he told him he can’t offer him salvation. Remember when he babbled about what Loki could do if he were to go back to his timeline? It was all a pourparler, words that weren’t meant to turn true as Loki is not meant to go back to his timeline. Ever.

That timeline doesn’t exist anymore it was reset.

But at this point Mobius has to be honest and give Loki something back, the reason why they’re interested in him… which is the dangerous Variant they’re hunting is HIM, or better another Variant of himself.

Meanwhile in Salina Oklahoma, 1858 Hunter U-92 and his men are checking on something. They find an object from the early third millennium but discover there’s oil on the ground and think it’s just someone who found himself a time machine and came back here to get rich. Hunter U-92 thinks he’s not worth the paperwork of searching for him and that they should just prune the timeline. Then they notice a figure in a black cape.

The figure has a oil lamp which they drop on the petrol covered ground. The fire spread to the Minuteman who start to die by arson. Hunter U-92 tries to crawl to the reset charge but someone grabs him and pulls him back. Then a hand, clearly not his own, picks up the resect charge.

And either this is the story sharing with us the 7th attack or the other Loki’s Variant has just managed to make the 8th attack in the last week that they know of. Really, I would say for the TVA it’s better to hope it’s not Monday.

As for me, I’m sorry for them but I hope it’s Monday there.

I’ve no sympathy for bureaucratic regimes who views people who don’t complain with their wishes as things… pardon, as Variant, and implement on them the “Final Solution” under the guise of pruning or resetting them.

This doesn’t mean everyone at the TVA is necessarily evil… but they’re dangerous, they’re fanatic who live in a regime that elect them at judges of other people’s lives. Judge Ravonna Renslayer dictates the proper flow of time according to the Time-Keepers dictations without bothering to question them, or the justice of it. At the TVA no one asks himself if it’s right or wrong, they just do it, they don’t know any other way to do it.

It’s not that they want to be evil, they actually want to be noble and just, they believe in the propaganda that’s all spread on the creepy posters around them and think they’re incredible, courageous and dedicated workers and don’t question their work or their lives at all.

They’re just many little Adolf Eichmann mostly bereft of initiative, cultural and moral depth; the latter did not go beyond the conditioning that had been given to them by society.

They lack empathy for what they destroy, for what they prune or reset and so they won’t stop thinking at what they’re doing.

Long story short, we should be grateful the TVA doesn’t exist because, really, that’s a creepy organization that pulls out the worst from people empowering them to murder others and telling them they’re doing something good.

Mobius, Casey, Hunter B-15 are brainwashed by the TVA worldview. It’ll be interesting to see if prolonged interaction with a Variant, Loki, might open his eyes or not. For now they’re like children who can’t distinguish good from bad because they buy a wrong narrative in which they’re above it.

I’m curious to see if they will ultimately eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of the good and the evil or if they’ll remain ignorant and dedicate executors of the TVA. We’ll see.

Well, this was long. Thank you to all the people who remained through this long, long episode study of mine. I can’t wait to see the next Loki episode!

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on Open Heart, Book 2

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

It’s been a while since I started writing this post, I actually remember saying I would post it months ago. But then things escalated in such a negative way between some people, that I said “well, maybe it’s not the best moment to post this”. So now that the book will be back, I thought it might be a good time to revisit it.

Of course, as this was written before the second hiatus, it’s been done with the original plot in mind, and I don’t read spoilers and the book is supposedly being rewritten, it may be full of mistakes… it just took me so long to write it, that I don’t want it to go to waste! hahaha

I’ve read a lot of people complaining about the plot of Open Heart 2 being all over the place, and some people are worried about the “too many subplots” this book has. Well, sure, there might be A LOT going on in this book, but when you analyze what almost every character is going through (emphasis in “almost”), you’ll realize that they all have one thing in common: they’re all dealing with their past. Also, with a third book confirmed, I don’t think everything is going to find its closure in Book 2. But let’s analyze our gang (they are in alphabetic order, as usual):

Aurora Emery: This girl is so damaged that it hurts. She certainly had trust issues during college and she’s reliving them all over again. Of course, being Harper Emery’s niece is not easy when you go to medical school and become a doctor. Not only people have high expectations on your performance, they also want to be friends with you and you just don’t know if it’s because of your aunt or because they genuinely care about you. Tobias is not making things easier for her either (I’m so ready to punch this guy if he hurts her!), and our MC has been an ass to her lately as well. She truly needs to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m so waiting for the MC to have a chance to apologize because what they did was the stupidest thing I’ve seen them do so far.

Bryce Lahela: Even though I’m in love with this guy (I always say he’d be my BFF in real life), we knew since day 1 that he was hiding something. Well, it took us over a book to discover that his family has a very, very shady past that ended up affecting not only Bryce, but also his little sister Keiki. Of course, discovering that your parents are criminals when you’re a teenager mustn’t be easy, and Keiki escaping because she’s basically living the same hell as Bryce went through in the past has only made him relive some old feelings that he wanted to be forgotten. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I can only think of some healing process for him that will probably not have its closure in Book 2, but in Book 3.

Elijah Green: Our boy Elijah has always declared himself a “nerd”. So, it doesn’t surprise me at all the fact that he had problems making friends while growing up. Also, due to his condition and what we know about his past, I bet his parents were super overprotective, making things harder for him. That’s why he is having a hard time when trying to keep boundaries with Sothy, his intern. It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be friends, not at all (not only Ines and Zaid consider the MC “a friend”, but my MC is romancing Ethan, soo…). But he certainly tries too hard to be accepted (and not judged) by his intern, to the point that it becomes a risk for them as doctors.  

Esme Ortega: Our new intern looks like she’s a tough girl, but it only took us one diamond scene to discover what’s behind her attitude. Her life has been hard and she’s basically facing the world alone since she was 14. Even though this apparently was a topic that was addressed and solved in the same scene, it’s very clear that she sees herself in her teen patient with leukemia. It’s very possible that her parents never told her that they were illegal immigrants, so she can’t stand lying to that kid. She knows how it feels. She knows he’s not a kid anymore and that his parents lying to him will only cause pain in the future. Hopefully we’ll be able to go deeper in her background during the rest of Book 2 or in Book 3.

Ethan Ramsey: Ethan is facing not only one, but two conflicts. The first one is a personal one: his mom left him and Alan (his dad) 25 years ago. Now she is suddenly back in their lives for some reason that we still need to figure out. Ethan believes she’s back because she needs money, and he might be right. There is also this idea that she’s actually sick and she needs Ethan’s help. This could also be pretty accurate. I actually think it’s something in between (maybe some stepbrother or stepsister he doesn’t know about needs medical care but they can’t afford it). The other one is professional: with the money problems in Edenbrook, he’s feeling all the pressure of having to make a choice between attending rich people who can afford their full treatments and being loyal to Naveen’s original purpose when he created the team (that is, to care about people who can’t afford their treatments). My thought is that, in the end, both his family issues and his career in the diagnostics team will be crossed and that this will become a turning point in the book (because yes, we still don’t have that “huge case” as we did have with Naveen’s case in Book 1).

Jackie Varma: Jackie’s issue actually hits home. College debts are a huge issue in my country, and I can tell almost every single one of my classmates is facing them now, even though we graduated a long time ago. It’s pretty common to see families struggling to help their kids to attend university and you can’t imagine how grateful I am that my hard work paid off and got me a scholarship that relieved that burden at home. So I can totally see Jackie in this situation: coming from a low income family who didn’t only become a doctor because she loves it, but also because she saw it as a chance to give her family a better life… and this isn’t happening right now. But she is actually doing something about it already, so she’ll probably be the first one to have her “burden from the past issue” solved, she just seems to need that raise that all residents are supposed to get… at least for now.

Rafael Aveiro: Our Rafael (who’s not going to die and who still is a LI in my opinion) surprised us when he introduced us to his significant other, Sora. I mean… what happened in that two-month period between Book 1 and Book 2? This is one of those times when I desperately need a diamond scene for him to explain everything. Because it doesn’t matter if he is your LI or not, he doesn’t seem convinced about this “new” relationship and you can’t change my mind. Also, the fact that he’s been taking more risks than usual is giving me some weird vibes (maybe he’s depressed and he’s been hiding it?). I’m pretty sure there’s something we don’t know yet… and I’m pretty sure that his conflict at the end of the book (if he is your LI) will be to decide between “staying in the past” (with Sora) and “moving into the future” (with the MC).

Sienna Trinh: Our sweetheart has had little screen time in this book, but that time has been enough to realize she’s having some serious issues, to the point that some people think she’s the one who’ll be dying because of how depressed she shows herself. We all remember that Sienna used to have a boyfriend certain specimen in her life, and how she dumped him in Book 1. Well, toxic relationships are not limited to love life, and that’s the case with her. She’s been repeating all the same patterns with her new resident, Mitch. He manipulates her and he’s basically abusing of her good will… just like certain ***hole she used to date it in the past.

Kyra Santana: I did leave Kyra for the end on purpose. Since the end of Book 1 I’ve been saying that she has to die at some point of the series, basically because we must be realistic here guys and we can’t be in denial: no matter how much we love her, our girl only has 10% chances of surviving cancer and before the hiatus, things were getting worse for her. Based on this… have you noticed how Kyra is the only character in the series (besides our MC) who’s not carrying some burden from her past? Instead, she just lives the present and she barely mentions her future, except in two cases: when she’s talking to the MC about her job interview, and when she says that her treatment “soon will be over”. To me, THIS SPEAK VOLUMES, GUYS!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 29 S4: Joey Wheeler, Dead Again

It took me kind of a while to get around to recapping again, been some drama on this end due to a couple natural disasters all happening in conjunction with eachother, but thankfully we are back in the green (sort of) there’s still wildfire smoke out my window but at least...at least the fires aren’t getting any bigger.

And it’s a shame we didn’t get to it sooner, because this episode has so many wild things in it, I don’t even know where to start. There was a lot of dueling, so I didn’t have to cap a whole lot...but even within such few caps, there’s some stuff to talk about. Like first off, the Kaiba’s inability to walk five feet without getting attacked by someone.

Seto still winning Brother of the year award even after nearly shooting his bro with real ass lightning. Because remember, this lightning is 100% real. None of these are holograms.

And by the way, a “hologram” just grabbed Mokuba with real ass hands and Seto was like “Clearly still a hologram!” Because that is how deep his denial runs.

Anyways, this is where the Kaibas will be until the remainder of this episode, so we’ll just leave them where they are.

(read more under the cut)

Back at the duel between Mai and Joey, we’re slowly working out what it is the Orichalcos even does.

We have had very little indication you can break the Oricalchos control on people’s minds up to this duel, but because Joey showed heart and bravery or whatever--he’s been slowly chipping away at Mai’s crusty, neon green, outer shell.

(I had a littttle bit of a hunger for some Taco Bell Baja Blast, not gonna lie. A little bit tempted because of that weird color. And now that I’ve eaten popcorn, I am 80% itching to drive to Taco Bell and make some mistakes. But I won’t.)

Comparing this to Pharaoh and Kaiba and their Oricalchos duels (even Rex and Weevil’s) it kind of makes you wonder why this never happened.......to anyone else? I mean, obviously it’s plot reasons, but it would have been a little neat to have some character development for the other villains.

But this unnecessary duel to the death between Joey and Mai spends most of the time screaming about how deep and real their love friendship is. Just a whooole bunch of aggressive friendzoning for the lady who just aggressively hates everyone.

(Haven’t seen much of Yugioh Abridged because it’s spoiler territory but everyone who retweets Joey stuff puts “Brooklyn Rage” in there so I have learned the lingo through osmosis.)

So because, someone’s absolutely going to die, lets start going through all of the flashbacks to remind the audience to feel something when they biff it. Lets recite the times we all spent with Mai.

Remember how they brushed Mai under the rug for 3 seasons, and now that they actually need her, they’re shooting themselves in the foot because there’s actually very little evidence that they like eachother at all?

But they do show those few times they hung out: the camping trip where they almost got burned alive by PaniK, that time that Joey caught her smelling her own cards, that time that Yugi had a panic attack because he was convinced Pharaoh would murder her during a card game, that time that she almost got hit by a fireball and then Joey jumped in front of her.

PS, that fireball scene--they keep going back to that fireball scene but they cut out the part where, yes, Joey jumped in front of her--but then Yugi jumped in front of Joey, and then Yami took over and was like EFF YUGI DAMN IT while he got pegged with fireballs. Like...c’mon, Yugioh, there was a lot of fanservice in that particular episode, and you’re leaving out a majority of the ships.

Partial truth, Yugioh--you’re telling partial truths. If we’re saying friendzoning is a good replacement for some sort of romance, then this show is just a giant geometric shape of “who might possibly like who if they weren’t so addicted to friendship.” This show has “friendship” as the underlying tagline of every episode with every person.

In the process of removing romance--they accidentally made SO MUCH MORE romantic implications in this show. I just feel like this backfired in so many ways. Or...maybe this was exactly what they wanted. And by “they” I mean that one writer who stans Seto Kaiba in the back--just sitting there in the corner of the writer’s room tapping his fingers together and cackling like an evil villain. He knows what he did. Genius mastermind, slipping in his favorite ships by making every ship Yugioh-legal.

And, also the Joey/Mai duel was a lot of this type of questionable content:

Joey Freakin Wheeler.

So I forgot if I mentioned this, but my bro had this friend in college who go struck by lightning not once, but multiple times in his life. He lived in like Virginia or North Carolina--one of the monsoon States, and he’d go on this hike to the top of this mountain--and on two different occasions at the same spot, he got stuck by freakin lightning. So like...Joey Wheelers do exist. There are people out there who just...

They’re just lightning rods wherever they go and their brain is somewhat scrambled eggs because of it.

(PS fun fact I googled just now because I couldn’t remember which state Virginia was, a Virginian by the name of Roy Sullivan was supposedly struck by lightning 7 different times and survived all of them. The more you know. ((PS still on the Google deep dive and the same guy also claimed to have been attacked by a bear 22 times (he’s a park ranger, so that checks) and once he was attacked by a bear immediately after he got struck by lightning which is like some pretty pro strats by said bear.)))

But like...kinda weird that Joey’s now kinda into this, and got super into it during a lovers friendship quarrel.

Anyway, all things come to an end, so Mai decides after enough cards have been played and Joey is clearly about to die...maybe it’s time to just accept not being 1st in the world in cards. Which...would have meant she should have been playing Yugi during this duel but, wtv. She clearly wants to be mad at Joey, specifically.

And I think the show didn’t do such a good job explaining why she was focused on Joey and not any of the other duelists until the very end, but we’ll get there. We’ll finally get to an explanation of why she was so fixated on Wheeler, we just have to wait for him to die first.

Because after the lightning strikes, and after putting so much effort into punching Valon right before this...Joey is too sleepy to continue.

So he’s just gonna die here instead...

2nd time he’s passed out in a duel by the way. Remember that Joey almost beat Marik, but was too damn sleepy after the electrocution? Same situation here. Look at that parallel.

Reminder that Joey STARTED this duel.

It’s like when you’re playing a game with a toddler and then it just passes out halfway and without any warning with it’s face just flat into the carpet.

Anyway, Mai grabs him in her arms sobbing all over him like she just did with Valon and it’s like...damn, this girl can just turn it off and on huh? Like she’s only 100% or -100% when it comes to the relationship meter, huh? No in between?

Mmmm cue that irony that Yugioh loves so much, this entire duel was unnecessary, because all you had to do was yoink that necklace.

Really the solution to dealing with a lot of assholes in Yugioh, to be honest.

This really is what Seto says in the show, by the way--a glitch. I like that Seto does not accept that dragons can feel sadness, and is just ITCHING to patch that out in the next release of duel monsters. I imagine that he’ll make a meeting once this is all over with his code team and at the top of the list will be the demand “Make The Dragons Stop Crying.” triple underlined, bold, and in bright red font. The entire code team will side eye eachother, unsure if this is a literal bug or something that Seto just hears all the time but no one else can hear.

So back at the Joey death fort, Mai decides to finally illustrate with words why she had to go so hard on killing Joey wheeler.

It was because she saw his kindness and his help as a weakness and a failure on her part. Mai, who always wants to be independent and in charge, could not accept that someone else had saved her or would want to save her. Which was apparently why she decided to peace out back at the end of the Marik arc.

It’s a bit of a complicated character for a kid’s show, I’m not sure how many kids understood the pride situation here, but it’s nice they stuck in something that wasn’t just “I want to be the best.” It was more that she didn’t want to be helped in order to become the best.

(PS, there’s this flashback scene where Joey’s like “bye” as she drives away and it was unintentionally a very awkward and funny cut and I may grab that little quip. I have to cap a couple of animations, tbh, I haven’t done that in a while)

So, now that she is fully recovered, she decides to complete the parallel of when Joey saved her in a death coma and now she will do the same (although it is SLIGHTLY different since in this version she kind of absolutely killed Joey Wheeler but...still works). She decides to do the job these stupid boys have not been able to do for the entirety of this season.

(these boots are REALLY well drawn, by the way. OBSESSED with Mai’s boots.)

If only she swooped up Pharaoh and just stuck him on the back of her bike to get this final fight going.

But Pharaoh’s too busy getting lost in San Francisco, and stumbling upon Joey’s dead body.

That this is the season where Yami can do nothing right and it just keeps happening.

No idea how we’re going to resurrect Joey in so short a period of time, but we’re completely out of spooky necklaces, so I guess we can’t do the Pharaoh solution to just...stick him back in there.

Anyways, I’m off to recover from the trauma of my house burning down last week, so I’m gonna go eat a pint of ice cream while I dream of a life before quarantine (was there a time before quarantine? I honestly don’t remember)

If you just got here this is a link to these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[stannyramirez]

𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥

spoilers for the film extremely wicked, shockingly vile and evil, tw: violence, murder

❝Find what you love and let it kill you.❞ ❝This will be my last letter and if anyone deserves to hear it as it was, it’s you.❞ ❝I admit, I’m in a little trouble, but it’s all going to work out.❞ ❝If anything goes wrong, you’ll be reading about me in the papers.❞ ❝Let me stop you right there.❞ ❝I understand you’re afraid, but it’s not the guy.❞ ❝No, he won’t find out.❞ ❝Your love gives me hope. It always has. It always will.❞ ❝Why did you have to drag me to a college bar? I feel invisible here.❞ ❝The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.❞ ❝I think if I hear one more love song I’m going to puke.❞ ❝I haven’t seen you here before.❞ ❝So, what do you do? Work? School? Racecar driver?❞ ❝How are you feeling?❞ ❝What do you say we get outta here?❞ ❝I don’t even know your name.❞ ❝What did you just say?❞ ❝A cowboy never lets a lassie drive drunk.❞ ❝Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.❞ ❝I wanna show you something.❞ ❝Someday, when I’m a big-wig ____, I’m gonna buy one of those houses.❞ ❝Guess I better get going.❞ ❝I understand if you want to go.❞ ❝Why on earth would I want to do that?❞ ❝You looked so pretty sleeping.❞ ❝I guess I’m lost.❞ ❝You ran two stop signs, son.❞ ❝What the hell is going on?❞ ❝The good news is there’s no physical evidence and eye witness testimony is precarious at best.❞ ❝Why is this happening?❞ ❝I would never hurt a woman.❞ ❝You don’t actually believe this garbage, do you?❞ ❝I don’t know if I should be offended or rolling on the floor laughing.❞ ❝It’s in all the papers.❞ ❝Come here, stupid.❞ ❝I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to freak out.❞ ❝Honestly, I was embarrassed.❞ ❝It’s all a big misunderstanding.❞ ❝Monkey! I missed you so much!❞ ❝What do you say we get cheeseburgers and root beer floats tonight, and be big fatsoes?❞ ❝It’s just a big misunderstanding. I’ve got it all under control.❞ ❝You can ask me anything you want.❞ ❝Why did she pick you out of the lineup?❞ ❝But that’s not the worst part.❞ ❝Who would do that to you?❞ ❝That was politics. This is personal.❞ ❝See that car over there? It’s been following me since I got back.❞ ❝How did you get so smart?❞ ❝I read a lot.❞ ❝I know how you hate these things, so I won’t be completely torn up if you want to leave.❞ ❝I’ve had yawns more exciting than this.❞ ❝Welcome home, stranger.❞ ❝Everything’s going to be okay, you know.❞ ❝If you need anything – anything at all…❞ ❝Who are you? I know you’re following me. Who sent you?❞ ❝I didn’t want to wake you.❞ ❝I think we should get married.❞ ❝Shouldn’t we have talked about this?❞ ❝I went to school with the sonofabitch.❞ ❝If you don’t stop screaming, I’m going to kill you. I’ll blow your brains out.❞ ❝I was smoking marijuana.❞ ❝I was embarrassed.❞ ❝At the end of the day, a lie is a lie.❞ ❝People respect honesty.❞ ❝The truth is always the way to go.❞ ❝It’s going to turn out fine. I know it. I have a feeling.❞ ❝Are you sure you want to do this now?❞ ❝Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?❞ ❝No matter what happens, promise you won’t leave me.❞ ❝I don’t know what I’d do without you.❞ ❝I would never.❞ ❝I was caught off guard.❞ ❝I was hoping you’d say that.❞ ❝Mind if I join you?❞ ❝Whatcha up to?❞ ❝Ninety percent sounds pretty certain.❞ ❝I think you know what it’s about.❞ ❝I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do to help you.❞ ❝I told you not to talk to anyone.❞ ❝But I didn’t lie.❞ ❝I didn’t tell him I have, and I didn’t tell him I haven’t. I didn’t tell him anything. He’s putting words in my mouth.❞ ❝When you don’t know the angle, you keep your mouth shut.❞ ❝How bad is it?❞ ❝Bad day?❞ ❝How do you even know that?❞ ❝I think you should leave.❞ ❝No doubt in my mind.❞ ❝Guess where I am.❞ ❝No, really, guess.❞ ❝How the hell should I know?❞ ❝I’m not going to ruin the ending.❞ ❝What’s wrong? You seem distant.❞ ❝Would you still love me if you found out something awful you didn’t know?❞ ❝You’re scaring me. Are you sure you’re okay?❞ ❝We’ll determine that at a later date.❞ ❝Sure, I get angry. I get very, very angry and indignant.❞ ❝You don’t lie awake at night thinking about it?❞ ❝Let’s get some air.❞ ❝Whatever you think you know about him, it’s all a lie.❞ ❝There are things you don’t know, that I can’t tell you right now, that will shock you beyond your worst nightmares.❞ ❝I didn’t bring you anything.❞ ❝Never lose hope.❞ ❝I told you, I’m going to straighten everything out.❞ ❝I can’t do this anymore.❞ ❝Do you not love me anymore?❞ ❝Please, don’t do this, ____!❞ ❝What’s your resolution?❞ ❝Everyone’s got something they want, or wanna get rid of.❞ ❝I’m wrong a lot.❞ ❝There are many things I can live without, but you’re not one of them.❞ ❝I’d prefer to stay right where I am.❞ ❝This is great news!❞ ❝I don’t understand why you’re so teed up?❞ ❝It’s called intimacy, ever heard of it?❞ ❝Ever heard of not going to bed angry?❞ ❝I need a drink.❞ ❝Since when is it a crime to take the edge off every once in a while?❞ ❝I’m a good mother!❞ ❝You’re a great mother.❞ ❝You’re also in denial.❞ ❝When I feel this love, I feel like I’m on top of the world. When I don’t, I don’t feel anything.❞ ❝It’s going to be bad when it breaks. Real bad.❞ ❝You seriously never heard of me?❞ ❝What are you doing to me?❞ ❝I will be heard!❞ ❝Why are you limping? Did they hurt you?❞ ❝I’m glad you came.❞ ❝I’m more popular than Disney World!❞ ❝How did this whole thing start?❞ ❝My God, it really is a witch hunt.❞ ❝I can’t tell if it’s a comedy of errors, or a Kafka novel.❞ ❝You must be lonely, so far from home.❞ ❝There are worse places to be than Florida, I guess.❞ ❝Luckily I make friends easily.❞ ❝That’s a joke, right?❞ ❝If you think there’s any chance in hell I’ll plead to these charges, you’re out of your fucking mind.❞ ❝I could set the facts straight, make sure your side of the story is heard.❞ ❝You would do that for me?❞ ❝I would never ask you to do that.❞ ❝You’re not asking, I’m insisting. You need me.❞ ❝You might hear some pretty ugly things.❞ ❝What do they know?❞ ❝You look nice, partner.❞ ❝You confessed that you did it.❞ ❝Now I’m confused as a cow on astroturf.❞ ❝How do you keep your spirits up?❞ ❝I’m lucky I have things that make me happy. That way I never lose hope.❞ ❝I wish I could make you happy in other ways.❞ ❝Don’t shake your finger at me, young man.❞ ❝I wouldn’t be able to live if I lost you. It would simply break my heart and never be put back together again.❞ ❝Mom, I did not do these things.❞ ❝Is something wrong?❞ ❝Do you still love her?❞ ❝I’m so stupid.❞ ❝I couldn’t find any live volunteers.❞ ❝Lazy prick…❞ ❝You impress me not, sir.❞ ❝The feeling is mutual.❞ ❝Are you shitting me?❞ ❝I just want this all to be over. I wish I could take it all back.❞ ❝The convenient alternative is me.❞ ❝I’m not asking for mercy. I find it absurd to ask for mercy for something I did not do.❞ ❝You’re a bright young man.❞ ❝There is no truth, only controversy.❞ ❝It’s never going to stop, is it?❞ ❝We started with a lie.❞ ❝My love was never a lie.❞ ❝I fell in love the moment I saw you.❞ ❝I can’t live like this anymore.❞ ❝You’ve obviously come with an agenda, and I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.❞ ❝Absolutely not.❞ ❝Don’t make me say it. I’m not a bad guy.❞ ❝I’m proud of you, Mom.❞

[vvitchmemes]

𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥

spoilers for the film extremely wicked, shockingly vile and evil, tw: violence, murder

❝Find what you love and let it kill you.❞ ❝This will be my last letter and if anyone deserves to hear it as it was, it’s you.❞ ❝I admit, I’m in a little trouble, but it’s all going to work out.❞ ❝If anything goes wrong, you’ll be reading about me in the papers.❞ ❝Let me stop you right there.❞ ❝I understand you’re afraid, but it’s not the guy.❞ ❝No, he won’t find out.❞ ❝Your love gives me hope. It always has. It always will.❞ ❝Why did you have to drag me to a college bar? I feel invisible here.❞ ❝The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.❞ ❝I think if I hear one more love song I’m going to puke.❞ ❝I haven’t seen you here before.❞ ❝So, what do you do? Work? School? Racecar driver?❞ ❝How are you feeling?❞ ❝What do you say we get outta here?❞ ❝I don’t even know your name.❞ ❝What did you just say?❞ ❝A cowboy never lets a lassie drive drunk.❞ ❝Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.❞ ❝I wanna show you something.❞ ❝Someday, when I’m a big-wig ____, I’m gonna buy one of those houses.❞ ❝Guess I better get going.❞ ❝I understand if you want to go.❞ ❝Why on earth would I want to do that?❞ ❝You looked so pretty sleeping.❞ ❝I guess I’m lost.❞ ❝You ran two stop signs, son.❞ ❝What the hell is going on?❞ ❝The good news is there’s no physical evidence and eye witness testimony is precarious at best.❞ ❝Why is this happening?❞ ❝I would never hurt a woman.❞ ❝You don’t actually believe this garbage, do you?❞ ❝I don’t know if I should be offended or rolling on the floor laughing.❞ ❝It’s in all the papers.❞ ❝Come here, stupid.❞ ❝I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to freak out.❞ ❝Honestly, I was embarrassed.❞ ❝It’s all a big misunderstanding.❞ ❝Monkey! I missed you so much!❞ ❝What do you say we get cheeseburgers and root beer floats tonight, and be big fatsoes?❞ ❝It’s just a big misunderstanding. I’ve got it all under control.❞ ❝You can ask me anything you want.❞ ❝Why did she pick you out of the lineup?❞ ❝But that’s not the worst part.❞ ❝Who would do that to you?❞ ❝That was politics. This is personal.❞ ❝See that car over there? It’s been following me since I got back.❞ ❝How did you get so smart?❞ ❝I read a lot.❞ ❝I know how you hate these things, so I won’t be completely torn up if you want to leave.❞ ❝I’ve had yawns more exciting than this.❞ ❝Welcome home, stranger.❞ ❝Everything’s going to be okay, you know.❞ ❝If you need anything – anything at all…❞ ❝Who are you? I know you’re following me. Who sent you?❞ ❝I didn’t want to wake you.❞ ❝I think we should get married.❞ ❝Shouldn’t we have talked about this?❞ ❝I went to school with the sonofabitch.❞ ❝If you don’t stop screaming, I’m going to kill you. I’ll blow your brains out.❞ ❝I was smoking marijuana.❞ ❝I was embarrassed.❞ ❝At the end of the day, a lie is a lie.❞ ❝People respect honesty.❞ ❝The truth is always the way to go.❞ ❝It’s going to turn out fine. I know it. I have a feeling.❞ ❝Are you sure you want to do this now?❞ ❝Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?❞ ❝No matter what happens, promise you won’t leave me.❞ ❝I don’t know what I’d do without you.❞ ❝I would never.❞ ❝I was caught off guard.❞ ❝I was hoping you’d say that.❞ ❝Mind if I join you?❞ ❝Whatcha up to?❞ ❝Ninety percent sounds pretty certain.❞ ❝I think you know what it’s about.❞ ❝I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do to help you.❞ ❝I told you not to talk to anyone.❞ ❝But I didn’t lie.❞ ❝I didn’t tell him I have, and I didn’t tell him I haven’t. I didn’t tell him anything. He’s putting words in my mouth.❞ ❝When you don’t know the angle, you keep your mouth shut.❞ ❝How bad is it?❞ ❝Bad day?❞ ❝How do you even know that?❞ ❝I think you should leave.❞ ❝No doubt in my mind.❞ ❝Guess where I am.❞ ❝No, really, guess.❞ ❝How the hell should I know?❞ ❝I’m not going to ruin the ending.❞ ❝What’s wrong? You seem distant.❞ ❝Would you still love me if you found out something awful you didn’t know?❞ ❝You’re scaring me. Are you sure you’re okay?❞ ❝We’ll determine that at a later date.❞ ❝Sure, I get angry. I get very, very angry and indignant.❞ ❝You don’t lie awake at night thinking about it?❞ ❝Let’s get some air.❞ ❝Whatever you think you know about him, it’s all a lie.❞ ❝There are things you don’t know, that I can’t tell you right now, that will shock you beyond your worst nightmares.❞ ❝I didn’t bring you anything.❞ ❝Never lose hope.❞ ❝I told you, I’m going to straighten everything out.❞ ❝I can’t do this anymore.❞ ❝Do you not love me anymore?❞ ❝Please, don’t do this, ____!❞ ❝What’s your resolution?❞ ❝Everyone’s got something they want, or wanna get rid of.❞ ❝I’m wrong a lot.❞ ❝There are many things I can live without, but you’re not one of them.❞ ❝I’d prefer to stay right where I am.❞ ❝This is great news!❞ ❝I don’t understand why you’re so teed up?❞ ❝It’s called intimacy, ever heard of it?❞ ❝Ever heard of not going to bed angry?❞ ❝I need a drink.❞ ❝Since when is it a crime to take the edge off every once in a while?❞ ❝I’m a good mother!❞ ❝You’re a great mother.❞ ❝You’re also in denial.❞ ❝When I feel this love, I feel like I’m on top of the world. When I don’t, I don’t feel anything.❞ ❝It’s going to be bad when it breaks. Real bad.❞ ❝You seriously never heard of me?❞ ❝What are you doing to me?❞ ❝I will be heard!❞ ❝Why are you limping? Did they hurt you?❞ ❝I’m glad you came.❞ ❝I’m more popular than Disney World!❞ ❝How did this whole thing start?❞ ❝My God, it really is a witch hunt.❞ ❝I can’t tell if it’s a comedy of errors, or a Kafka novel.❞ ❝You must be lonely, so far from home.❞ ❝There are worse places to be than Florida, I guess.❞ ❝Luckily I make friends easily.❞ ❝That’s a joke, right?❞ ❝If you think there’s any chance in hell I’ll plead to these charges, you’re out of your fucking mind.❞ ❝I could set the facts straight, make sure your side of the story is heard.❞ ❝You would do that for me?❞ ❝I would never ask you to do that.❞ ❝You’re not asking, I’m insisting. You need me.❞ ❝You might hear some pretty ugly things.❞ ❝What do they know?❞ ❝You look nice, partner.❞ ❝You confessed that you did it.❞ ❝Now I’m confused as a cow on astroturf.❞ ❝How do you keep your spirits up?❞ ❝I’m lucky I have things that make me happy. That way I never lose hope.❞ ❝I wish I could make you happy in other ways.❞ ❝Don’t shake your finger at me, young man.❞ ❝I wouldn’t be able to live if I lost you. It would simply break my heart and never be put back together again.❞ ❝Mom, I did not do these things.❞ ❝Is something wrong?❞ ❝Do you still love her?❞ ❝I’m so stupid.❞ ❝I couldn’t find any live volunteers.❞ ❝Lazy prick…❞ ❝You impress me not, sir.❞ ❝The feeling is mutual.❞ ❝Are you shitting me?❞ ❝I just want this all to be over. I wish I could take it all back.❞ ❝The convenient alternative is me.❞ ❝I’m not asking for mercy. I find it absurd to ask for mercy for something I did not do.❞ ❝You’re a bright young man.❞ ❝There is no truth, only controversy.❞ ❝It’s never going to stop, is it?❞ ❝We started with a lie.❞ ❝My love was never a lie.❞ ❝I fell in love the moment I saw you.❞ ❝I can’t live like this anymore.❞ ❝You’ve obviously come with an agenda, and I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.❞ ❝Absolutely not.❞ ❝Don’t make me say it. I’m not a bad guy.❞ ❝I’m proud of you, Mom.❞

[freedom-shamrock]

Hero Cafe

Also on AO3

The idea for this was sparked by a recent comment Dawn_on_Fire made on AO3 on the BAMF Marinette story "Snack Chat."

⁂

Marinette looked over everything in the mini refrigerator while Tikki ran down the checklist.

"It looks like you've got everything set, Marinette," her kwami said brightly.  "This is such a sweet idea. I'm proud of you for moving past your worries to make this happen."

She closed the door and stood up, gazing proudly at her balcony's new setup. Superhero work was exhausting and took a lot of reserves. A few months back, she'd started bringing a bag of end-of-day breads and pastries whenever she was on patrol or training with any of her teammates. While they'd all appreciated it, Chat Noir had actually gotten tearful in his gratitude. Her partner was far too thin. Sure, his black suit emphasized that, but she'd picked him up enough times to know that it wasn't an illusion. She'd heard enough to know that his home life was garbage, and while she couldn't ask, it was clear he wasn't getting enough to eat.

It had taken far too long to come up with a solution that didn't involve her going out every night to feed her kitty. Lycee had gotten intense and she was stretched too thin as it was; she couldn't afford to give up more sleep if she wanted to keep all her commitments and ensure Paris' safety. 

Pitching the plan of creating a superhero rest stop to her parents was easier than she'd expected, though perhaps pointing out Chat Noir's dangerously underweight physique, and likening it to her friend Adrien's, was all it took.  Her parents were feeders and caretakers; they couldn't abide underfed children.

"It was so nice of your parents to get you the mini-fridge and microwave," Tikki said. "You're not the only member of the family with great ideas!"

"We Dupain-Chengs are creative." She tickled the little red being's tummy. "And I'm sure it helps to have the literal embodiment of creation hanging around us." 

Tikki shook her head. "I'm drawn to creativity, and I might boost it because we're so close all the time. But I can't make what isn't there."

Resting her hands on her hips, Marinette surveyed the finished project. It far exceeded her plans of a cooler and box of snacks, with boxes to sit on. She'd found a tiny table and two low profile chairs at a cafe that was changing out all of its patio furniture. She'd expanded her brightly colored awning to cover the entire patio, not just the corner where the food was kept.  She'd added curtains on all sides that could be dropped for privacy or protection from the weather, though she expected they'd stay rolled up most of the time. For the nights when more than two heroes were out and about, she'd added a storage bench full of blankets.  Her fairy lights had been swapped out for a larger set.

Tikki swooped over to the pseudo-kitchenette and hung up the laminated page explaining all the features of the space. Then she darted over to circle the empty rings in the new ceiling. "Let's put up your sign. Then you'll be officially open for business."

"Business," Marinette snorted, but picked up the little sign she'd crafted. "This is a philanthropic activity. I don't get paid for it."

"True," Tikki agreed. "But you do get peace of mind."

Sighing happily, Marinette nodded. "Yeah.  I do."

⁂

"Where are we going?" Chat Noir asked as Ladybug led him over the rooftops.

"It's a surprise." She couldn't look at him right now; she was afraid her giddiness would give her away. She couldn't wait to see his reaction. They were nearly there. "You'll want to vary your approach trajectory in the future to prevent suspicion."

"So it's someplace we'll be going routinely, then?" he asked, and she could imagine him tapping his clawed index finger against his chin as he followed. "New roof for meeting or training?" he guessed.

"Nope. This is way cooler." She paused on a roof where she could see both her old college and the faint twinkling of her patio lights. She had her glee under control now, and could glance over at him. "I know we've saved and met a lot of civilians, but do you happen to remember Marinette?"

His smile practically lit up the night. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The amazing up-and-coming fashion designer and daughter of the folks who run my favorite patisserie?  That Marinette?"

She nodded. She'd managed to stay out of akuma attacks as a civilian for the last two years, so she was frankly surprised he remembered her so clearly.

"She's amazing," he gushed. "She's so kind and brave, and she's as creative as you are. You should probably consider her as an option for a third string miraculous wielder. I bet she'd be fantastic."

She turned away so he wouldn't see the hot blush in her cheeks. Why did her partner's effusive praise please her so much? This was ridiculous! "Sounds like some kitty has a crush," she teased.

"Won't deny that for a moment," he said, completely unperturbed. "I think it's impossible to meet Marinette and not develop a crush."

"Really?" she asked, her voice squeaking in surprise at the confirmation.

"It's like a whole new law of physics," he said, rubbing his chin with one knuckle. "If you are capable of romantic or physical attraction, you will be attracted to Marinette."

"What?" Where had this come from? "Hyperbolic much?"

"Not at all," he insisted, utterly serious. "Every one of my friends who have ever come in contact with Marinette has gotten a crush on her."

He sounded so sincere, but his words didn't match up with her reality at all.

"So much concentrated energy and compassion," he continued with a sigh. "Definitely doesn't hurt that it comes in such an adorable package. She's deceptively strong, but so nurturing.  I know she'd treat a sweetheart right."

She let out an undignified squawk and tripped off the edge of the building. 

Chat was snickering when he caught up with her at the next rooftop over. "So shall I add you in the crushing on Marinette club?"

"Oooh, no." She shook her head. Dating herself? That'd be a trick.

He smirked. "Aaah yes. Denial. I remember that stage.  You should just move on to acceptance. Then we can talk about how awesome she is when we're playing hot-or-not. Spoiler, she's hot."

"Are you dating her?" she asked, hoping to derail that trainwreck. "Because if you're not, it sounds like you want to."

"I wish." His amusement turned to wistfulness. "I don't dare get that close to her as my super self or my bland civilian self." He shook his head. "It wouldn't be safe for her."

"Wow," she whispered. "That's both really sad and amazingly wise all at the same time."

Chat Noir shrugged.  "I've grown up a bit the last few years."

"I'd noticed," she pointed out with a grin.

"No, I mean mentally… emotionally." Another shrug. "I was kind of stunted when we met. But I've learned."

She patted his shoulder. "Well, we're heading to Marinette's," she said. "She's got snacks for us."

His eyes were wide, and a blush kissed his cheeks.

She swung herself over, landing just before him, so she could see his face as he looked around the renovated space. 

"Marinette's Hero Cafe?" Chat Noir read the sign she'd hung up with Tikki as the final touch. His mouth was open a little in awe. He crossed into the kitchenette where a little chalkboard on top of the microwave declared stew the special of the evening. She'd worked with multi-colored chalks to draw designs like she'd seen in various cafes around the city. He reached out and ran a finger over the stack of dishes and peeked into the refrigerator, stocked with energy drinks, a pitcher of water, fruit, cheese, and the pot of leftovers.

After he'd read the laminated sheet and marveled over every last detail, he turned to her. "Did you already see this?" he asked.

Ladybug nodded. "She flagged me down and shared the idea with me when she was just starting work on it.  It's… grown a lot from what she first envisioned." She shrugged. "It's probably a little over the top. What do you think?"

He beamed at her. "I love it." He glanced down at the skylight, but her room below was dark. "If she were home… or awake, I'd have to thank her profusely.  Grandly.  In true Chat Noir style." He struck a pose, then dabbed.

"You're ridiculous," she said, snorting with laughter. "And while thanking her is fine, you really don't need to go over the top."

"But…" He waved around them at the remodeled space. "She made this for us. I know she used to use this space for brainstorming and designing."

"She still can," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but… I don't think she'll feel as free to do so now.  Maybe during the day, but not at night." He rubbed at his chin. "I know what she's like. She's set this space aside for us, and I bet she doesn't even really think of it as hers anymore."

She stared at him, blinking in stunned silence. How did Chat Noir know Marinette so well?

"She'll want us to feel comfortable here without risks, so she'll probably take care of the space, and bring up the leftovers from dinner." He pointed at the refrigerator. "But she'll want to leave it for us."

"I hadn't thought of that." It wasn't true. She had thought of it, and felt the pros outweighed the cons. "Maybe she feels it's worth it? It's her way of thanking us for taking care of Paris."

Chat Noir lifted the glass cover off a platter of pastries to pluck out his current favorite, a croissant with just enough dark chocolate to make it feel decadent. "I may not be able to thank her tonight, but mark my words, I will rectify that in the future."

"There's no need to get all over the top and ridiculous about it," she cautioned.

"Pfft. I am Chat Noir," he announced. "Ridiculous is what I do."

She shook her head.  "That's what I'm afraid of."

"And Marinette deserves an extra helping of my gratitude."

"Chaaaat," her tone was a warning.

"Think she'd accept payment in exotic fabrics?" he asked.

Ladybug stared at him, stunned for approximately the fifth time in the last hour. He knew her, Marinette her, well enough to know exactly what would appeal. She found her voice after a moment of heavy silence. "I think Plagg needs to add a tag to your collar."

His luminescent eyes blinked slowly in confusion.

"You are clearly Marinette's cat."

⁂

It’s not a one-shot anymore, and you can now check out Chapter Two if you’d like.

If you’re so inclined, feel free to support me over on Ko-Fi

[allulily]

watching the promised neverland ep1

most likely spoilers ahead

(not most likely, most definitely and they are not minor spoilers so you've been warned)

these are in real time(ish) reactions i write as i watch with minimal editing

before starting the 1st episode: ok so the picture looks cute, there is no summery being shown but whatever i'll just see how this goes. my sister has been annoying me to watch it and i have heard good thing about it's use of sound. let's get this started but i have some homework so i'm going to let this play on background while i try to figure what the fuck is up with math

0:57: this gate seems important and a little suspect but cute animation and, yes emma i too wish to ride a giraffe. and they all say mom like they have the same one but they don't really look like siblings

2:26: cool intro fun vibes

2:29: what's up with the numbers

3:10: that's a lota children

3:37: they seem to happy go lucky, somethings up

4:29: animation pretty

4:43: ominous music and numbers mean bad things

4:55: ohhh is it connys birthday happy birthdayyy babyy

5:18: i don't know what they're doing bet it seems ominous and intense

5:31: kinda culty vibes

5:49: yayyyyyy

5:59: eDgEyy

6:15: TAGGGGGGG

6:26: why all white? it's culty

7:02: Aawwwwww Conny and Don are BESSSSTTT friends

7:33: norman's good at tag

7:59: BIIIIIIGG steppppyy

8:09: clocks are cool, whimsical

8:26: oh no norman, emma go help him

8:27: NOOOORRMANNNN UR MEANNN

8:52: how stRatITigiEc

9:53: feeling ominous

10:01: oh no

10:09: ahhhh noooo suspenseee somethings gonna happen

10:24: i'm unsettled i've been unsettled

10:46: oooooooooh exposiiiitioooooonn

10:50: it's a tiny fence man

10:59: yesss be the level head ray QUESTION EVERYTHING

11:08: hmmmmmmm something's a bit weird

11:23: mmmmmmmmk these people gathered seems like some key players because they aren't that stupid and are not 4 years old and are talking about suspect things

11:26: it's an orphanage huh didn't get that till just now i was pretty sold on the cult idea, still could be an orphanage for a cult

11:30: 12 is not the age at which you age out of foster care system/ no longer need a legal guardian what happens at 12? do they go to a new orphanage?

11:33: from who ur orphans? i take back what i said about them being important because they're smart they're kinda dumb but still there is an adaquate amount of them to make sense as being important based on the topic they're discussing

11:38: i redact my previous statement of my redaction of them being smart

11:43: that's not how that's supposed to work

11:56: glasses sweety i don't think that's how that works

11:58: this seems like the type of conversation you shouldnt brush off like that

12:02: based on this background music and the music as emma approached the fence i kinda feel like you don't

12:10: yea that's culty

12:12: so they have access to books that's cool

12:50: they are pretty childish for protagonists

12:52: based on the title that statement ("i don't really want to leave") is either very very true or very very false

12:59: given that this is the first episode of an anime and it has some very culty vibes the "we're all happy here" is not going to last

13:02: someone is not happy

13:03: this child has a very high pitched kind of annoying voice i hope they die first

13:08: ooh this small child is getting adopeted (idk is that like being inducted into the cult? then why a 5 year old before the 10?11? year olds) i take back the ending of my previous statement they seem like a side character/supporting character and they're cute enough and they said something nice so i geuss they can stay as long as they don't talk to much

13:13: like a mom or an orphanage mom?

13:17: the whole "never even think about abandoning my children" but seems odd but my running theory is that they are part of a cult so maybe that's a prevelant issue? or is it because they are in an orphanage that this is relevant?

13:19: this feels a bit creepy

13:55:awwwww

13:59: noooo her best friend don is crying and she's crying and its saaaad but they were part of the conversation of important topics so maybe she'll stick around or we'll get updates on her

14:02: ominous door slam

14:12: ohh nooo this is very not sounding good

14:19: uh oh somethings off

14:31: mk i geuss that gate doesn't look bad at all

14:32: connys bunny, noooooooo

15:03: why isn't he joining them

15:05: whatever i geuss they're very considerate

15:13: uh oh spagetios

15:17: this seems like it's gonna be a bigger deal that the show wants be to believe

15:22: well that trucks suspicious

15:32: oh no ominous music and ominus anxiety inducing camera angles before it was only the video or sound

15:37: ahhhhhhh suspenseeeeee is gettin toooo meeee

15:43: ahhhhhhHhHHhHHHH creepy vibes

15:50: dumb bitch characters are unaffected

15:56: there isn't even ominus music just a consistent background noise and an every so often background noise and creepy ways the scene are shot but it's wooorrrkkkingggggg

16:03 suspense is building what's gonna happennnn

16:08 what's that dark stain. i hope it's water

16:25 shit what's happened

16:28 she is unsteady this is not god the weird noises are getting creepier

16:30 biiiiig step back

16:32 oh no she has seen something

16:36 oh wow this is killing me but like in a good way

1639 wooow this is a looooot creepier now

16:46 the way we are being brought to look at the thing emma is looking at is excruciating ahhhhhhhhh

16:54 oh nooooooo what issss itttttttt

16:56 hot ducking shit is that conny

17:00 ok so there's a flower

17:01 ok so the flower stabbed conny

17:06 SHIIT

17:29 are they out of food why would he want to catch a cat for dinner this seems bad

17:36 FUCK

17:42 god this animation is beautiful

17:46 huh so it seems like connys dead dead. um i didn't mean it when i said i hope she dies first

17:50 so do they eat people

17:52 yes

18:01 what did they just put connys body in?

18:03 oh no

18:09 FARMMMM

18:11 "only the rich can-" CAPITTTALLLLLISIOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

18:14 AHHHHHHH SHUUUUT UP U FOOLSSS

18:22 ANOTHER

18:32 MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

18:39 AHHHHHH NOOOOOO DONTTT FINDDD THEEMMMMMMMM

18:52 NOOOOOOOOOO

18:53 AHHHHHYHHHHH SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT

19:03 ahhh yes hyperventilation

19:22 no

19:26 denial

19:48 shouldn't everyone be able to hear her pained wail

19:54 badly like it went like shit like thank fucking god they found out but also it's the worst thing ever

20:25 such great expression of emotions is shown

21:09 yes escaping an evil cult canabil type farm shit will be EXAXTLY like playing tag yes great splendid why was i ever worried i might as well stop watching this series now because you can defeat all of your problems with the ability's you have attained from tag

21:12 SOMMMEEBODDDYYSSSSS EEVVEEESSSDROOPPPINGHGGH

21:17 HOT FUCKING SHIT ON A STICK THAT SCARED ME

21:29 SHITTTTTTTTT

[yelena-bellova]

Let Me Go - Steve/Natasha Fanfic

Summary: Steve and Natasha go to Vormir to collect the soul stone, not knowing what sacrifices will have to be made in order to claim it. Requested by anon: Can you write a romanogers fic where instead of nat & clint at vormir, it’s nat & steve instead :) thank you! Warnings: lots of angst, INTENSE HEARTBREAK, endgame spoilers and character death… Word Count: 2,974 Note: This one WRECKED ME. I actually almost cried writing it, and yet I simultaneously loved getting to write it. I took dialogue from both Infinity War and Endgame but tweaked some scenes to reflect Steve and Nat’s friendship…I wrote it platonically, but if you squint you can read it as a romantic thing…Good luck, and don’t hate me!  “I’ll bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain.” Steve and Natasha begrudgingly trudged up the snowy mountain. Nobody on the team had ever seen the soul stone or where it laid, so the trek they had to make had come as an unwelcome surprise. They had almost reached the top and while the super soldier was perfectly fine, Natasha had broken a sweat and was trying to regain her breath.

“Technically he’s not a raccoon.” Steve quipped.

“Oh whatever, he eats garbage…” she remarked.

Before Steve could let out a laugh, a haunting voice spoke up from a dark corner under a rocky overpass.

“Welcome,”

Steve took a stance and held up his shield. Natasha cocked her gun and pointed it towards the unknown voice. A hooded figure began to float out of the darkness towards the pair.

“Natasha, daughter of Ivan.”

Closer and closer he moved, his face still hidden. But the more the figure spoke, Steve’s blood began to boil…He could never forget that voice.

“Steven, son of Sarah.”

“Who are you?” Natasha asked unflinchingly.

“Consider me a guide to you and to all who seek the soul stone.”

“Oh, good.” Natasha retorted, her voice filled with doubt that whoever or whatever was underneath the cloak was anything close to friendly. Steve still hadn’t moved, he stood frozen in place trying to keep almost 80 years of rage under control.

“You tell us where it is then we’ll be on our way.”

The figure moved closer towards them, finally revealing his face. To Natasha, he may have just been a demonic looking creature but to Steve, he was a pure evil taking form in a man who had plagued his nightmares for years.

“Oh, if only it were that easy.” Red Skull said.

“How the hell are you still alive?” Steve demanded through gritted teeth. Natasha looked to him, 
“You know this guy?”

“Unfortunately, the Captain and I share a…painful history.” Red Skull explained, never breaking eye contact with his old nemesis.

“It’s about to get real painful real fast if you don’t start explaining.” Steve hissed.

Natasha broke her stare towards Red Skull and looked to Steve. Rarely ever had she seen her friend so angry, clearly this guy and Steve had crossed some very unfriendly paths before…

“A lifetime ago, I too sought the stones. You remember, Captain Rogers. I even held one in my hand, but it cast me out. Banished me here, guiding others to a treasure I cannot possess.” the dark figure explained solemnly. Steve remembered the experience Red Skull was explaining all too well...

He stood at ease, but kept his shield on his wrist, ready to strike the man. Natasha slowly lowered her gun, taking her cue from Steve. Red Skull proceeded to float down a path, they followed hesitantly. He led them to a stoney cliff, Red Skull stopped and let them go forward to peer over the edge.

“What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear.”

Natasha stared down into the dark abyss longer than Steve did, his priority at the moment was watching every move Red Skull made.

“The stone’s down there.” Natasha observed, unable to see the stone, but in her heart knowing it was there. Steve walked away from Red Skull to join her again, looking down as if expectant the stone would float out of the darkness up to them. 
“For one of you. For the other,” Red Skull began,

“In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love.” 

Steve and Natasha both froze, her lips parting and his brows furrowing. Red Skull’s words may have spoken almost like a riddle, but they were smart enough to figure out what would be required of them. They were also desperate enough to hope they were both horribly wrong in their assumptions.

“An everlasting exchange.” 

They both said a silent prayer that they were wrong.

“A soul”

No.

“For a soul.”

Steve broke from his position and turned to Red Skull, a look of unbelief and rage on his face. No. He had already lost his life once because of this monster, he wasn’t about to lose it again. Nor was he about to lose Natasha. Either he was lying or there was some loophole that they hadn’t figured out yet.

“You’re lying. Why would I trust a word that comes out of your mouth? ” Steve accused.

“Your words are ones I have heard for many years, Captain. But unfortunately, what I say is true.” Red Skull said.

Steve’s jaw clenched, part of him believed the former Nazi but the majority of him was hell-bent on denying what actions might need to be taken. He stalked back over to Natasha, who was now sitting on a rock, hunched forward and deep in thought.

“I still think he’s lying.” Steve fumed. She shook her head ever so slightly, still staring at whatever plan she’d made in her head that only she could see.

“No. I don’t think so.” she replied.

“Why, cause he knows your father’s name?” Steve asked, walking back towards the edge of the cliff to look over again.

“I didn’t.” Natasha muttered softly. Steve turned back and slowly walked towards her.

“Thanos left here with the stone, without his daughter. That’s not a coincidence.” she continued.

Natasha had always been the more pragmatic between the two of them, and she was always the one to make sense when Steve was too deep down his own rabbit hole. If she believed Red Skull, then there was probably no chance that he was lying. The realization of what needed to be done sank into Steve’s stomach and he began to feel sick. He managed to mumble a “Yeah…” before turning his eyes to the ground.

Natasha had already run a million scenarios through her head…She had only briefly gone through the denial that her Steve had. She had looked for any possible loophole, failing to come up with any scenarios where both of them walked away from this with the stone. While he was peering over the edge of the cliff, she had turned to look at him. Steve’s entire life was based upon sacrifice, she’d be damned if she was going to watch him make another.

But it wasn’t just him that was playing into her decision…She’d spent the past five years looking for ways to undo what Thanos had done. Preparing for any possible plan, just like the one they were part of now, that could result in bringing back everyone they’d lost. If she could play any part in reclaiming half the population, she wouldn’t give it a second thought.

She wouldn’t hesitate to throw herself off of that cliff so that Steve could walk away with the stone. 
“Whatever it takes.” she stated, matter of factly.

Little did she realize that Steve had come to the same conclusion she had, only their roles were reversed.

“Whatever it takes.” he repeated.

 Natasha stood up quickly from her seat to walk over to him, still standing in his place on the edge.

“If we don’t get that stone, billions of people stay dead.” she spoke.

Steve nodded solemnly, unable to look her in the eyes. He knew that what he was about to do would hurt her, but he couldn’t bear to let her make this sacrifice after everything she’d been through. 
“Then I guess we both know who it’s gotta be.” he remarked.

“I guess we do.” she replied.

They shared a look of mutual understanding, only for Steve’s expression to change to confusion.

“I’m starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha.”
 “For the last five years I’ve been trying to do one thing; get to right here. That’s all it’s been about, bringing everybody back.” she explained.

“No, don’t even think about it…” he ordered, his captain voice seeping through.

“What, you think I want to do it? I’m trying to save your life, you idiot.” she quipped. 
Steve grabbed her wrist as if to prevent her from suddenly disappearing and also to steady himself.

“Well I don’t want you to.” he stated. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you do this when we both know it should be me?” 

“Do you think I’m going to let you throw away your chance at the life you lost?” she remarked. She could see that Steve wasn’t following, so she explained further.

“We have the ability to time travel now. You can go back after this is all over. Take back the life you were robbed of, you can be with Peggy. Are you saying that you don’t want that?” 

Steve could honestly say he hadn’t even considered the possibility about going back to the ’40s and restarting his life till Natasha had brought it up. Yes, after over a decade in the present, he still wished to return to his own time. Yes, not a day went by where he didn’t long to hold Peggy in his arms again. But he wasn’t about to let Natasha sacrifice herself just so he could be selfish.

“I couldn’t live that life knowing I sent an innocent person to her death just so I could have it.” he said, tears beginning to form in his steely eyes.

“I’m hardly innocent, Rogers. You know the things I’ve done.” she muttered, trying not to let her own tears spill out.

Steve opened his mouth to say that her past didn’t define her future, to tell her that she was a better person than she gave herself credit for, but Natasha put her hand on his arm and held tight, silencing him. Every emotion she was feeling she conveyed to him in her eyes. Her fear of death, her anger towards Thanos, her love for her family, but most importantly, her determination.

“Let me do this.” she whispered.

Steve had argued with her enough over to years to know that once she set her mind to something, there wasn’t a single person dead or alive who could talk her out of it. And that was what broke his heart the most…

It wouldn’t matter what he said, she was the one going over the edge.

He looked down at her hand on his arm, dropped his shield and placed his hand over hers. His finger tracing the back of her hand as if to memorize the warmth of it.

“You’re a pain in my ass. You know that?” he said, something that would have made both of them laugh in a different circumstance. She nodded, a flood of memories with Steve washing over her. She didn’t want to leave him, she didn’t want him to be alone…But if her laying down her life could give him Bucky, Sam and the chance to be with Peggy back, there was no question about it.

Steve wrapped his arms around her, she did the same,  both of them trying to memorize the feeling of one another. They’d never admit it to one another, but they both shed silent tears into each other's shoulders. A decade of friendship and partnership about to end all to have a shot at a plan that wasn’t even guaranteed to succeed. They finally pulled apart from each other and Steve wiped a tear from her cheek, 

“Okay, you win.”

Natasha nodded, as if to convince herself to begin moving towards the edge of the cliff. Steve gave her a small smile, but their touching moment turned sour quickly. Before she could take her first step, he whipped into action and pinned her to the ground.

Natasha may have been determined, but Steve was stubborn. And sometimes that was more dangerous than determination…

“Go get yourself that life.” he said, referring to the conversation they’d had back at the compound over a peanut butter sandwich. Before he could move, Natasha swiped his leg and flipped him on his back. Standing over a shellshocked Steve and pointing her widow’s bite cuff at his chest,

“You first.” she remarked. Firing the electric charge from her wrist, it hit Steve and caused him to let out a pained groan. Natasha turned away from him, took half a second to work up her courage, and started sprinting towards the edge of the cliff. No turning back now…But the incapacitating effects of her electric charge hadn’t lasted as long as she’d hoped and Steve was up on his feet as she took off. He grabbed his shield from the ground and launched it at her, hitting in the legs and knocking her to the ground. Natasha grunted and looked up from her spot, Steve began running but didn’t break eye contact with her. He wanted her to be the last thing he saw before his death, he wanted to die with his last thought being of Natasha living a happy life. He had almost made it to the edge of the cliff when he leaped into the air, making peace with the fact that he was about to die.

Until Natasha tackled him midair and they both began to free fall towards the bottom of the chasm.

Natasha fired her grappling hook to the side of the cliff, Steve gathering her in his arms to prevent her from letting herself go, and they both swung towards the side of the cliff. As they hit it, it knocked them both and Steve lost his full grip on Natasha. She rolled out of his arms and he frantically reached for her, managing to grasp her wrist. He examined the rope and looked down to his hip, the other end of the grappling hook attached to him so he couldn’t fall. For once when he looked down at her, Natasha looked genuinely scared. Scared that he was still going to find a way to make his own play, but also scared to let go of his hand.

 “Damn you.” he grunted.

He reached down to her, trying to grab her other hand and pull her up, but he couldn’t reach out that far. He strained relentlessly, stretching his fingers as far as they could go. He groaned and grunted, but he still couldn’t reach her. The sad part was that Natasha wasn’t holding on to him, nor was she reaching out to grasp his other hand. Sadly, she had won their argument…There was no way for Steve to save her from this terrible fate. Her tear-filled eyes met his, 
“Let me go…” she instructed, taking the softest tone she could with Steve. She knew that what she was about to do was going to plague him for the rest of his life. She would become the face he saw in his nightmares, she would become the ghost that would follow him around and he would forever blame himself for not doing more to try and save her.

But it was the only way…

Steve blinked away the tears, as he leaned towards her again in one last failed attempt to save her. He knew he couldn’t save her, but he couldn’t let her go either… 
“No…No, please, no.”

Natasha stared up at him, giving him a small smile and nod through her own tears. As if granting him permission to let go, silently pleading with him to let her die…

“It’s okay.” her voice cracking as she reassured him that she had accepted her fate, but also that she would not hold it against him that he let go.

Steve let out a small sob, still refusing to let go of her wrist…

“Please…” he whimpered out.

At that moment, everything surrounding them disappeared. The winds silenced themselves, the snow stopped falling, it was just them. Two friends trying to convey ten years worth of feelings, memories, and things they had both decided were better left unsaid. This was the end of their journey together.

With a final grunt, Natasha pulled her arm out of Steve’s grasp and began free falling through the air.

“NO!” Steve cried out, forcing himself not to unclip the hook and dive after her. He watched his best friend’s body tumble through the air, turning away only for a second, then looking back. He was going to be with her till the very end, even if he could only do it from a distance. 

As Natasha fell, she had a feeling of complete and total peace wash over her. She didn’t doubt for a second that the team would complete their plan and that everybody would be brought back to life. She wouldn’t be there to see it happen in real life, but she could see it perfectly in her mind. Her last thoughts were of Clint and his family, laughing and eating dinner in their kitchen. Tony and Pepper playing with their daughter. Vision holding Wanda in his arms. Sam and Bucky teasing and taunting each other relentlessly over a round of beers. And Steve. Steve dancing in a picturesque 1940’s living room, swaying to a soft song with the love of his life in his arms.

She smiled and closed her eyes, letting go for the second time.

The next thing Steve knew, he was awakening in a shallow pool of water. He scurried to his knees, looking around him for any sign of Red Skull, the stone, or Natasha...

Nothing. Nobody. No stone.

Had Natasha’s sacrifice been in vain? Had Red Skull truly been lying?

This was what Steve was beginning to believe until he looked down to his hand, the soul stone resting in it.

Steve had never experienced a more hollow victory.

Holding the stone in his hand, he pounded his fists against the water, and let himself fall apart.

They were one step closer to winning, but he had just suffered his greatest loss.

[tonystarktogo]

Top 5 Favorite Time Travel Fics You’re Prepared To Defend To Death

Full disclosure, I absolutely adore the time travel trope. I have yet to meet a fandom where I didn’t enjoy it and the MCU is no exception. Especially since -- let’s face it -- it’s not like there’s a lack of issues that need fixing. Nor is it out of the realm of possibilities, in-universe-wise. I do my best to avoid spoilers, but that isn’t completely possible.

Here are, in no particular order, my favorite gems of the lot:

#1: If You Had This Time Again by dls

Tony Stark closed his eyes in a wrecked Siberian bunker and woke up on a demolished New York street. Four years earlier.

There are many, many reasons why I adore this fic and I promise it’s not just because I have a huge weakness for long stories (which, by the way, dls has my utmost respect for writing so much so well, seriously and their posting schedule is something I can only dream off). The changes Tony inevitably causes, big and small, immediate and over time, are wonderfully done.  But I think my favorite part is the way the author takes time to develop Tony’s relationships. The way Tony builds his family this time (in true Tony fashion both accidentally and on purpose) and particularly his friendship with Pepper are things I cherish.

The main pairing is FrostIron, which isn’t for everyone, but I personally love it and damn if it doesn’t work well in this fic. Their interactions had me on the edge of my seat right from the beginning, wanting more and at the same time knowing that the wait would make it all the sweeter. I could list more things, but I don’t want to spoil anything. I also haven’t read everything yet -- for that matter, the fic is incomplete at the moment -- because I occasionally lose track of this beauty during stressful times and then go back and re-read everything from the start. So far, I haven’t regretted that a single time and I know I’m going back to this fic again soon.

#2: We'll Meet Again (Some Sunny Day) by @tangodancer91

Stranded in the past, Toni Stark builds herself a new life, far from superheroes and corporate expectations.

Reading this series is both, the best choice and the greatest mistake I ever made. Mostly because it is wonderfully woven, heartbreaking and -shredding mess of angst -- also because it’s incomplete. I’m still waiting for my happy ending here *pouts* 

Seriously though, the series handles the interactions between a post!CW Toni and a 40s-Bucky-and-Steve, the developing relationship between Toni and Bucky, the inevitability of the ever-looming future events ARSIDLSLKSjksadkls!!! This fic just gives me so. many. feels. and I swear Build, Now, a Monument delivered everything I expected after the previous parts, killed what was left of my heart and was so freaking amazing that I had to re-read it despite the pain I knew it was going to cause me. What is it about angst that draws me in like this? I’d seriously like to know.

Anyway, whether the series will be finished or not, I assure you it’s absolutely worth reading. Just-- try not to let bitterness and tears swallow you whole while you do that.

#3: Seize Yesterday by DannieU

In 2017 the Earth is about to end. In 1987 Howard Stark might have the answer. The solution seems simple, except Tony has the worst of luck, and he might just be stuck.

In which Tony hates magic, time travel, babysitting amnesiac assassins and being seventeen.

Another favorite of mine. I really enjoyed the plot in this one -- and of course the WinterIron. But don’t let the summary fool you, the key words are indeed ‘worst of luck’. Which means that, yes, this another mess of angst and heartbreak. So much angst and heartbreak. I’d say the ending more than makes up for it, but to tell the truth I was still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster and couldn’t properly enjoy it. I also really liked the thing with Natasha (you’ll know what I mean) which I’d never seen done in a fic before (though I’m pretty sure there are others out there, I just haven’t seen them yet.)

Overall, it’s a great fic -- and contrary to the first two this one is finished -- and I definitely recommend it.

#4: Anew. by @ivivao3 

In death, there was no glory, no redemption, no salvation.

Only darkness and ice—or that’s what Tony thought. He closed his eyes in a Siberian bunker and opened them again on his 41st birthday, with War Machine flying into the distance.

This one is for you IronStrange fans out there! (And I know for a fact that you are out there, guys, denial is futile!) There are two obvious reasons why I remember loving this fic, even though it’s been a while since I’ve read it. One thing is indeed Tony and Stephen. The other is JARVIS. Also seeing Tony say “Go. Save. Yourself.” was incredibly satisfying, therapeutic and honestly couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy (okay, there might be a couple more on the list, but it’s a start!!) 

Anyways, the fic is completed and there’s also a sequel, though that one is still ongoing. Enjoy :)

#5: Veni, Vidi, Amavi by Maedlin

(We came, we saw, we loved.)

Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly.

Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man. Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues.

All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

(Or: how I becomes we and Tony learns that not all burdens must be shouldered alone.)

Truth be told, I might be getting ahead of myself here, since I haven’t actually finished this fic yet. Oops. Still, it’s time travel and also it includes bot feels. (And yes, I’m counting JARVIS as a bot in this scenario, just let me, okay.) I’ve really enjoyed the chapters I’ve read so far, which is really enough to warrant a place on this list *shrug*. The story is also finished and has a still on-going sequel.

*

Obviously these aren’t the only great time travel fanfics, so if you have a favorite that hasn’t been added, please feel free to join the Top 5 Fanfic Saturday or just add it in a comment/reblog.

Btw what do you think about time travel?

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

JULY PICKS

What emotions I experienced this month! Does the CW understand that they can’t have TWO series finales happen on back to back days? It’s hard enough to say goodbye to one show. From binge-watching to theater going there’s a lot to talk about; so let’s get started!

Are you really shocked that there’s a SPOILER warning? 

STRANGER THINGS

We’ll start with one of the first watches of the month: the third season of Stranger Things. I teased at the end of last months wrap up that I might do an entire post just on this last season, but time got away from me. Nonetheless, I’ll try to keep it short. (Or try) ;)

THIS IS ANOTHER SPOILER WARNING!! DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE THIRD SEASON OF STRANGER THINGS!! But I’m sure you have already. 

Don’t watch the finale at 12:30 in the morning or later, unless you want to cry. That was just me...okay. But seriously, why Hopper? Now I know since it was released everyone has theories that Hopper’s not gone for good. We didn’t see him turn to ash like those Russians. There was a look but not enough to warrant this is the end. And of course the notorious, “The American” line during the after the credits scene. I just hope this isn’t TOO overly obvious making it not true because that will really upset me...A LOT.  I love the fact that El is staying with Joyce. (It makes complete sense that she would.) Don’t love that she doesn’t have her powers. I thought it was interesting in the end how Mike and El are like ‘See ya later,’ because they’re moving, but Jonathan and Nancy feel like they’ll never see each other again. I don’t know if that’s supposed to be because El and Mike are kids and their love isn’t as deep? Either way I really hope this isn’t the end of Jonathan and Nancy. Big fan of Steve (as usual) and Robin and honestly just the whole Scoops crew (”It’s not America without Erica!”). They were definitely one of my favorite story lines of this season (and there were many). I feel bad that Steve is without love again this season, but I love his relationship with Robin and I think they did a great job introducing her character. I’m excited to see what happens next season with her. Overall, just really like all the relationships this season. Of course Dustin’s girlfriend is real and yes I haven’t been able to get that song out of my head since. Big fan of El and Max getting some girl time. El exploring the mall was one of my favorite scenes. It was also great to see so many old stores (shout out to Sam Goody!). While this season was definitely the darkest so far, I really liked the energy it brought and am excited to see what’s next. My only big suggestion is to give Will more actions than just touching his neck when something bad happens. We know he’s capable of so much more after season 2 and I’m upset he didn’t do more this season. Oh and always make sure to give us a cool team up scene where they circle around each other ready to attack. (See below--it’s the best one I could find, but you know what I’m talking about.)

Jane the Virgin

One of the two series finales I’ve watched this month. It’s so bittersweet when a show is over. You hope they do it right and don’t want any loose ends, and at the same time you’re so sad it’s over. (Or you have that weird feeling where you’re in denial and expect another new episode next week.) Jane the Virgin was a show that I started bingeing this year and I knew would be upsetting when it ended. (I mean I was upset when I had no new episodes to watch.) But I am really happy (and satisfied) with how they ended it. The hour long special prior to the finale was a nice touch looking back on the show and talking about how revolutionary it was for the time period (especially when it started). There still is nothing else like it on TV and I’m not sure anything ever will be like it again. I loved all the magical realism they included in it and how despite all the crazy moments (”speaking of telenovelas..”), it was so relate-able. As someone who was Team Michael from the beginning, I grew to really love Jane and Rafael. So the start of this season when Michael came back with his amnesia and then when he got his memories back was extremely frustrating and I wasn’t always excited to watch it. But once that plot was resolved it became more entertaining for me. I love Matteo and the girls. Petra’s character development was HUGE and she has become one of my favorites-especially her sisterhood with Jane. Xo and Ro, Alba and Jorge. It’s really sad to say good-bye to all of these characters. I might have to re-watch some old episodes...     

iZombie

Wednesday was Jane the Virgin’s series finale and Thursday was iZombie. Like I said earlier: really CW? After a “minor” hiccup of the episode not taping (Okay, I was really upset about the fact I had to wait to watch it on demand), I watched it the next day. This season there was SO MUCH going on from the Dead enders, to Fillmore Graves, and then Liv’s dad. As we were quickly approaching the end, I wasn’t sure how they were going to address everything and then I was really hoping that they weren’t going to drop the ball on anything. But the finale really delivered (as all seasons did). All of these story-lines came to a head and Seattle saw its war on zombism that was bound to happen. There were casualties and people becoming zombies that I didn’t see coming, but in the end the cure was FINALLY created. Lots of twists and turns to get there and then we jumped ten years. I liked looking into the future and hearing from Clive, Ravi and Peyton. Deep down I knew Liv couldn’t be dead, but they did have me worried for a little bit. Or for the fact that they didn’t know she was alive. So it was a really nice touch in the last few minutes where Liv and Major spoke with them. (Btw super happy that they were endgame. I desperately wanted it this season and they didn’t have too many scenes until the last few episodes, so I didn’t believe, but PHEW!) One question I still have is what is Seattle like now? Do only zombies live there now or is Liv’s family the only remaining zombies? It was a little confusing to me. Let me know if you better understood it.  

The 100

Disclaimer: I have not watched the finale..yet. I’m sorry. But this is relating to all the episodes leading up to it. 

Something I’m noticing with a lot of the shows this summer season is that the second half is more intriguing. I tend to save up a lot of episodes and then when a certain plot line starts to pick up I feel more invested. This season of the 100 has been like that for me. But since the group (or should I say Bellamy) discovered that Clarke was alive and then she fought with Josephine, I have found it really entertaining. I like the transformation that Octavia has gone through, Echo has really grown on me (believe it or not) especially since watching her backstory, and as usual Murphy is one of my favorites. In the last episode I watched when Clarke goes back and pretends to be Josephine I love how we got to see who Murphy was truly loyal to. And then when Clarke talks with them and he says Josephine called him John. So good. The only part I’m really not a fan of his Maddie’s story-line. i just feel like we’ve got so much other stuff going on that it feels forced. But then again it will probably play a big part in the finale. 

As a huge Bellarke fan since day one I have been taking in all of these moments between them these past couple of episodes and seriously feel like if they don’t get together next season (which is their last) it will be a mistake. Bellamy’s face when Clarke was dying...He needs her and her him. Come on Jason! (Okay rant over. If you want more Bellarke see my page: Lydia-yougowith-Stiles.)    

KRYPTON

I know this SYFY original started its second season back in June, but I truly didn’t start to catch up until July. (Like A LOT were saved on my DVR and I did seriously think about cutting it loose.) I enjoyed the first season and the story of Superman’s grandfather and was interested to see what would happen in season two. The beginning of this season felt slow for me though. I just wanted most of the characters reunited and to know that Seg was alive. I had a feeling Brainiac would somehow be in him because it would be too easy if the villain was gone. Once people started interacting with each other it held more of my attention and then once SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER.......  Lyta “died.” (It’s really only on a scifi show that you can put “died” in quotes.) That really through me off. I didn’t think she’d die. So was I completely shocked when it was revealed that she didn’t die and her clone did instead- a little? I was more upset. I felt like for her character to die would work because characters would transform and react in a way that would stir up the show. Like I said this was one of the reasons why I stayed tuned in. I mean there’s still a chance (haven’t watched the last episode of this either) that she will die, but I have a feeling she won’t. I like seeing Val alive and present on the show rather than just a hologram in the fortress. Seeing Dev and Jayna team up has been really great. I always enjoy Nyssa and Seg’s relationship and just about jumped up and down when JOR-EL GOT HIS NAME!!! You knew it had to be him all along, but at the same time I was like when is it going to happen? It was so epic with the dramatic pause and the Superman theme playing in the background. One of the best parts of this season (in my opinion). Now they just have to get him back. 

PANDORA

I feel like I’m watching a lot in the Sci-Fi genre this summer. This CW show was one that I hadn’t heard of before the first episode aired. It grabbed me because there were so many familiar faces in the cast. (If you’ve watched shows like The Librarians, Ride or Free Rein you’ll know what I mean.) It follows Jax who lived on one of Earth’s colonies called New Portland, which was recently bombed. She was the only survivor. As she makes her way to Earth, to live with her Uncle and attend the academy, she is on a mission to solve her parents’ death and discover what truly happened. This is VERY Sci-Fi (which shouldn’t come as a shock I know). It’s cast of characters include humans, telepaths, aliens, clones, and part cyborgs. In the first episode you’re introduced to A LOT of characters, so it’s a little information overload. I also find that when I start a new episode it often feels like you’ve missed a previous one or that you started midway. I think it’s because of the styling of the episodes. They often jump a lot of time without telling you, or think you understand a definition, but really don’t. (There’s something involving Jax’s past that I still don’t 100% get.) But there’s something about this show that has me actually caught up with episodes. Right now it feels very much like a first season because the episodes are (not to use the same word) episodic. Something happens and then is solved the same episode. There’s an overarching plot, but it’s just in the background (probably until the finale). With the large cast of characters there are also a lot of ships and almost everyone interactions lead you to believe they could be a couple, so i feel very conflicted. RIght now though I keep getting drawn back to Jax and Xander. 

The Outpost

This CW Fantasy debuted its second season not too long ago. (I feel like I group it with Pandora because 1) they’re both summer shows and 2) not your typical CW style. I like the representation of Fantasy and Sci-Fi on the network.) I enjoyed the first season last summer, but it is REALLY hard for me to get into this season. I usually put this show off for a couple weeks and watch it when I have nothing else to watch. I think it’s because of the new black blood as well as Gwynn’s plot. Maybe it’s because last season there was already so much action and looking at this season we are trying to get more names and summon a demon army for Gwynn who awaits the Prime Order. And that’s been going on for about 3 out of 4 episodes? (Wow there’s only been 4 episodes?) Last episode with the return of Garret I found myself liking it more. I also like how Dred isn’t the head villain. We now know who he answers to. So that will be interesting to explore. I just hope the show picks up a little more. 

AT THE MOVIES

Yesterday

I was very excited for this movie to come to theaters. I thought the concept was great-strange but great. What if you knew all the Beatles songs, but no one else did? Jack Malik is a struggling musician who just can’t get his big break, so when he gets hits by a car and is the only one who remembers the band he does what anyone else would: play the songs as if they were his. I enjoyed most of the movie (and the inclusion of others who also remembered the Beatles), but did not like the ending. It brought down the movie for me. I’ll be good with this one and not give much away, but after you watch it let me know what you think. 

Spider man Far From Home

Another movie that I was very excited to see in theaters and it did not disappoint. I was a fan of Homecoming and was interested to see Tom Holland as the webslinger once more. Great dynamics with the cast. Loved Ned and Betty’s relationship. Zendaya’s MJ is one of my favorites and I liked her awkward interactions with Peter and how she was suspicious of him. All the echos back to Tony made me tear up. The scene in the plane when Peter is making his suit and the same song from Ironman plays and he’s basically doing the same moves. It hurts to just think about it now. I didn’t know about Mysterio before going into the movie, but it still wasn’t a shock what his true motives were. Especially because it seemed solved so early in the film. I think his reasonings make complete sense, which made him an entertaining villain. When first seeing the trailer I didn’t know how I felt about Jake Gyllenhaal, but I really liked him (and all the interviews he did promoting the movie, especially this one:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3FcCz2y2mM. Watch it. You’ll like it!) That first after credits scene was CRAZY! First I was dying at the return of J.K. Simmons and then the reveal! Can’t wait for it to come out so I can watch it again and again. 

*************************************************************************************

That’s a wrap! Any of my picks yours? If not what did you watch this month? Let me know in the comments!         

[forthisone]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3.12 Thoughts

The first 30 minutes of this episode was maybe the most sustained satisfying The Handmaid’s Tale content I’ve ever seen.

Cut for spoilers. This post is long. I have this thing where I ramble. A lot. Welcome to my stream of consciousness.

Comments in some kind of chronological fashion...

Does Beth know that June killed Winslow? When she said June was “fucking fantastic” I got the feeling she only meant the Billy stuff and she didn’t know about the Winslow part, hence why she was surprised about the bruise on her cheek? But, also, how would Beth NOT know what had happened, if she knew about the Billy part? I guess maybe she was just sent the cakes from Billy as a “yes”, and she doesn’t know any more than that?

June being told she’d “got away with murder” and that Fred and Serena had been captured... that was great. I think I would have liked a bit more focus in this episode on June dealing with the fact that she had just killed someone with a pen, but ok. I feel like Season 4 might focus a lot on her dealing with all of these feelings, and dealing with who she has become, but for now she is blocking everything out to get the job done. 

The moment Fred realised Serena had betrayed him. I LIVED for that reaction. That was truly the best.

However, Fred’s “jail” cell was waaaaaaaaaay too fucking comfortable. What the fuck? I expected that boy in an orange jumpsuit, in some rusty cell, in chains. WHY weren’t we given that, as viewers? Literally the most comfortable jail I’ve ever seen, in any show, ever.

RITA. YES. Pretty sure that’s the most we’ve seen Rita all season and it was great. “I want in.” I’m SO HAPPY SHE IS BACK IN THE SAME PLACE AS JUNE. Although, maybe she won’t be for long if she is on that plane. Hoping for much more next season either way.

It was so good to see Moira and Luka again too.

BABY HOLLY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE NICK OMG. And Moira was FUCKING AMAZING. “Who are you, really?” YESSS MOIRA. “You are the gender traitor.” YES. MOIRA. God, I missed Samira Wiley.

And, while I didn’t like to see Holly upset, it was so satisfying to see Serena be a stranger to her and not be able to comfort her and not be able to refer to herself as her mother in front of her. “You can’t use terms like that, it will confuse her.” Here for it! Serena has got what she wanted but she immediately realises it’s not going to be what she thought it would be.

There was also a shot of Serena that focuses on her wedding ring and her finger stump at the same time, and I appreciated that shot. Just wanted to say that.

Luke punching Fred. A++++++++++ I’m glad Luke got that punch in. I 100% thought that Luke had smuggled some kind of weapon in that folder when he first walked in. My brain full on mapped out an entire storyline of Luke shooting Fred and Fred dying and Luke going to prison for it … what a curveball that would have been! I’m kind of bummed it didn’t happen.

I’m also surprised Fred didn’t mention Nick to kick Luke when he was already down, but I guess Fred himself is still in denial about June and Nick’s relationship, he’d rather think that June felt something for him and forget all about Nick being the father of the baby. Also, let’s be real, at this point it’s like Nick doesn’t even exist anymore, in any aspect of this show, or the memories of any character, AT ALL, IT’S LIKE HE WAS NEVER HERE, so why on Earth I was expecting Waterford to mention him, I don’t know. I’m just desperate, honestly.

Eleanor. I mean, I’m not sure how to feel about this twist at all, except that I feel awful and horrified. At least she is at peace now and she doesn’t have to live with all that pain anymore. But, God, it wasn’t June’s decision to make to just let her die. No June no no no no no. Who even is June anymore? I think Lawrence for sure knows that June did check on Eleanor and I think maybe he will do a 180 on helping her now. His motivation for leaving was Eleanor and Eleanor’s safety. And now that motivation is gone. He doesn’t care about getting out. I guess it will come down to how much he cares about the children and his own conscience. But I think all he ever really cared about was Eleanor.

Remember how this episode started with June pointing a gun at Eleanor? Well, she pulled the trigger, I guess, in the end.

I really don’t know what’s going to happen with this plane. I want it to succeed but I will be so surprised if it does. I feel like the last two episodes have been the satisfying ones (end of 11/start of 12) and now shit has to start going sideways again. But the fact that they’ve said June won’t be on that plane makes me think that maybe it will succeed and this will mean the Gilead/rest of the world conflict will hit the fan in Season 4. I think they might need those children to escape to propel the storyline on. If Gilead can almost go to war over the loss of two Commanders, pretty sure they will implode over 52 lost children. And we’ll see a lot more battle/war next season? I might have biased reasons for wanting to see the frontline *cough*

Also, where’s Emily? I’m ok with her not being shown this episode as there was a lot going on, but I’d really like to see her again before the season is out, please?

(And now, if you don’t like Nick or Nick fans, you can stop reading now as the rest is all about him. I appreciate it’s impressive how, each week, I can still find more to write about a character we haven’t seen for six episodes now, but don’t worry, I managed...)

So, someone on Tumblr posted that Nick was in Episode 12 earlier this week, because of something they’d seen on Instagram. THANKS FOR RAISING MY HOPES YET AGAIN, PERSON.

Because of that, there were a few points I thought he might appear (I live in hope). Firstly, at the beginning, when June was told there were Commanders in the sitting room with Lawrence, I suddenly was like “OMG IS NICK GOING TO BE IN THAT ROOM?”. But we got fuckwit Putnam instead and some other wanker. Fuck it. Secondly, all the talk with Lawrence on the phone about starting a conflict, closing the border… I thought they might show him in Chicago when some kind of attack was launched. Thirdly, I also thought maybe they’d bring him in as some kind of witness in Fred’s trial, maybe even sent from Gilead to try and get Fred back? The latter two ideas still might happen. If they do bring him back next episode I think it will either be something to do with Fred’s trial or something big happening with the conflict in Chicago. I think Fred’s trial might be a focus of next season though, not next episode.

All I can say is I want to see the scene where June fully breaks down over all she has done this season and for Nick to be the person who brings that out of her and finally lets her feel that. I want to see the human side of June again. There was a moment towards the end this episode (after the scene about the wine with Lawrence) where she almost cried and she stopped herself. She often looks on the verge of tears to be honest, but she’s still trying to stop herself from feeling anything. She needs Nick to help her access her emotions. Although, to be honest, June has changed SO MUCH this season that I can’t even imagine how her and Nick would interact anymore. I can’t imagine what that’s going to be like. And, like I said, I’m not sure who June is anymore.

SPECULATIVE FINALE POSSIBLE SPOILER: I am still expecting Nick to be in the finale as Max has spoken in interviews about footage that we haven’t seen yet (and there’s also a shot of him in the Season 3 trailer we haven’t seen yet), but, honestly, at this point, I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Every time I think he will for sure be in the next episode, he isn’t. Maybe Max is wrong and they just cut all his scenes, even the ones that were filmed?!?  And the worrying thing is that I can definitely imagine them doing that.

I really did think we were going to get one Nick-centric episode (with flashbacks to the Crusade) later this season (not even just because I am biased, I just really thought it would happen), to explain his part in it and the cliffhanger they left his character on in Episode 6, but I feel like that ship has sailed now and surely they won’t do that in the finale?

Just let him live through the season, I guess. That’s all I want, so we can actually see him next season, maybe?

But the rest was good...

[daughters-and-winsisters]

Huntress- Part 20: It’s Cold

Sam x Daughter!Reader, takes place in S12 E20 so warning: SPOILERS

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen Part Seventeen Part Eighteen Part Nineteen

 “So that Super Mario power up thing last night, what was that?” Uncle Dean asked. He was pacing the room as he tried to grasp a hold of what had happened. When you passed out thankfully you also woke before them so no questions were asked. “I mean,” Uncle Dean continued when no one answered, “I don’t know who that was, but it sure as hell wasn’t Cas. What was it he said? That he had faith in Lucifer Junior? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You shared an unsure look with your Dad. “I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Look,” your Dad sighed, “this doesn’t make any sense to me either, Dean. I mean I guess we just have to think like him.” “I don’t know how anymore, Sam.” Dean threw his hands up in the air with frustration. The three of you fell silent in thought, turning your attention to your Dad as he unwrapped the colt. It was in pieces, singed and burnt and by the looks of things never to be used again. “Can you fix it?” Uncle Dean asked. To your surprise, Dad gave a little nod, “Maybe.”

Just then a vibration cut off whatever Uncle Dean was going to retort with. “It’s not me.” Dad said, feeling his pockets to double check. Without even looking at his phone, Uncle Dean shrugged, “Not me.” “Not me, either.” You added, looking around the room. You got up and headed towards where the noise was coming from. Under a few books scattered on the side table lay a silver grey phone, buzzing against their spines and pages. You held it up in question. “Must be one of Moms.” Your Dad said to his brother. You didn’t want to answer it so you just held it out for them to take. Dad took it from you, “Hello?...Uh Alicia, hey…” he put it on loud speaker and you all leaned in, Alicia was one of the Hunters at that guys funeral a few weeks ago. “Hey so uh our Mom went on a Hunt a few days ago and she usually contacts us by now. We’re a little worried so we thought-“ “Woah,” Her brother interrupted, “no we didn’t.” “-Okay, I thought that maybe you guys could help.” “You’re over reacting! Mom’s fine.” The brother continued to object. Dad cleared his throat, “Hey uh why don’t you text us your address. We’ll come and help.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Uncle Dean said the moment Dad hung up. For once, you had to agree with him, the spawn of Satan was probably the priority for now. “Yeah, Dad, we should probably find Cas…” “Jodie has people looking. There’s not really much we can do so we might as well help Alicia.” He had a point so you nodded, not wanting an argument. Only, you couldn’t help but worry. All these pains you kept getting were getting worse and worse very day…what if something happened whilst on a hunt? You knew you probably should have told Dad, but you knew they had worse things to worry about. Besides, you were handling it. An overprotective parent is almost worse than an under-protective one.

You all parted ways to pack your things and get ready for the trip out, however you noticed Uncle Dean was hanging back. When your Dad turned the corner to his room you crept back and saw Uncle Dean hold his phone to his ear: “Hey Mom, uh I just wanted to tell you that me and Sam are heading out to help those Witch twins, Max and Alicia, if you can help that’d be great, but uh…I get that the Brits have sorta got your work covered. Maybe just at least…call me back?”, his voice broke just a little and you found your shoulders dropping in sympathy, “It’s just some stuff…it’d be good to talk to you.” He hung up and you hurried back to your room, grabbing supplies and stuffing them in a bag.

Your head swayed a little, making you stumble and shoot your hand out for the desk to steady yourself. “No…not now…” You hissed at nothing, staying still as thought that would help whatever this was go away. Thankfully, it didn’t come to anything.

“Hey guys.” Dad called out at the twins who were staring off into the distance. You smiled at their dramatic stance and how happy your Dad was to be working with other hunters. But, glancing over to Uncle Dean, you could see the hurt in his eyes and you knew Mary hadn’t called back. “What have we got?” Uncle Dean asked bluntly. You tore your eyes away from him and tied your hair back from the wind. Wrapping the hair-tie around your pony tail, you felt it. Just for a split second, not even that. A little blackout in your mind where your body felt like it was about to shut down. It wasn’t long enough even for you to react, but it was just long enough that you noticed it. Alicia explained that their Mum was hunting a Borrower Witch, the ones that have their power because of a deal.

“Dean, sweet car.” Max whistled at Baby and you shared a look with Alicia. “Come on man, I’ll give you the tour.” Uncle Dean smirked before they headed towards the Impala. “He’s in some serious denial.” You noted. “He’s always been that way, thinks he knows Mom best,” Alicia sighed, wrapping her arms around her jacket to stop it flapping in the wind, “they’re both naturally magic so I guess it’s normal.” “You’re not?” You asked. “No, magics just a load of noise to me. It’s their thing, you know?” “I had a similar deal growing up,” your Dad began, “Dean and our Dad had that sort of bond thing going on with hunts.” “What about Mary?” “She get’s a case and she just sort of…disappears.” Dad admitted with a shrug. “What about you?” Alicia asked you. The way her eyebrows raised and her mouth hid a curious smile told you she actually wanted to know. “I don’t really have a set pattern. I’ll do whatever’s easiest. Work alone, work with Dad, work with ten, fifteen, three hundred people. Whatever’s easiest.” You said. You hadn’t really thought about it before…you were trained for everything. To be adaptable above all. “That’s smart.” Alicia nodded. “Come on,” Dad put an arm on her shoulder, “let’s go find your Mom.”

“Max…Alicia, what are you two doing here?” The five of you had entered the building where their Mum’s car was outside. Expecting a fight or at least some arguing, it was safe to say you were all a little taken back that their Mum was just…fine? “Mom!” Alicia ran over to her and threw her arms around her, “I’ve been texting and calling you all this time!” “I’m sorry sweetie my phones been charging.” “Mom,” Max cleared his throat and took a step forward, “this is the Winchesters. Did you know Alicia called them because she was that worried about you?” “You know,” You said quietly, “it’s not a weakness to show a little consideration.” You weren’t trying to be mean, but you wanted to make it clear to Alicia she was okay to be worrying. In the world of Hunting everything was worth worrying about. Embarrassed, and perhaps shocked, Max shrugged, “Yeah, I know.” “I like this one,” the Mother smirked at you, “you must be Y/N.” You nodded. “Well, come on in everyone. I have wine.”

At the table, Tasha, their Mum, opened the wine bottle and handed it to your Dad. You watched her turn around and fumble about before sitting down opposite you. You were a little concerned as she didn’t quite seem to be behaving normally, but in all fairness,  you’d never met a Witch family that hadn’t wanted you dead before. You were sandwiched between your Dad and Uncle on the sofa, looking between everyone and waiting for them to talk or something. “I would’ve had the food from that vegan place delivered, but they don’t do that-“ “That’s okay,” your Dad stood up way too fast and something told you he’d been racking his brain for an excuse to leave this whole time, “I’ll get it. Dean, drink. YN, come on.” You glanced up at your Dad before patting Uncle Dean on the shoulder, shooting him a smirk when no one else was looking. “Good luck.” You mumbled to him and he shot you a sarcastic smile in response.

Dean glanced at his phone: no new messages. With a sigh, a hand through his hair and an adjustment to his posture, he turned his attention back to the family. Tasha sat down next to him, “You expecting a phone call?” She asked. It wasn’t nosy, but rather a display of concern. “Guess not,” Dean smiled, turning to face her, he then nodded towards the twins, “I gotta say you did a bang-up job with those two.” Tasha laughed dismissively, “I did the best I could with Max and Alicia.” “I see how you are with them,” Dean gripped his wine glass, “they’re happy.” “Alicia said you grew up in the life?” Tasha said questioningly. “Yeah. My Dad raised me and Sam.” “And your Mother?” Her head titled. “It’s uh, it’s complicated.” “Family always is…and what about Y/N? Did you bring her up to hunt?” “Uh…yeah that’s pretty complicated as well. We haven’t known her all that long. A little over a year, is all. Her Mom raised her in England. Raised her to Hunt…hell, she’s good at it. Better than I was at her age.” Tasha looked at Dean, she had that motherly look, “You don’t seem happy?” Dean looked between her and the carpet, placed his wine glass down and spent a good few seconds opening and closing his mouth…”Well…” he found the words carefully, “I just wonder if Sam would’ve done things differently.” “There’s no use focusing on the could haves of life,” Tasha smiled at her children from across the room, “she’s a good kid, Dean.” “We didn’t exactly raise her, though. I mean she knew everything already. We haven’t taught her anything. It just doesn’t feel right.” “I think you’ve taught her more than you notice.” She smiled, gripping his shoulder and heading over to her kids. Dean sat back twiddling his thumbs and thinking it through.

“Uncle Dean’s in his element.” You commented, getting out of the car. Dad shot you a frown so you elaborated, “Wine? Chit chat? Waiting on vegan foods. I’ve never seen him so happy.” Dad laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” The restaurant was surprisingly busy, but then again it was the only vegan one in town. You stood just a little behind your Dad as he took the food. You glanced around at everyone, they were all talking loudly and drinking loudly and every bit of cutlery and crockery was loud. Everything was loud. Loud. Too loud. The cacophony of human interaction filled your ears over the muffled sounds of the white noise piercing over the top. You felt yourself sway a little when the pain struck again. It shot over the noise, over the smells and the sights and was all that filled your mind for just a few seconds. It was enough to make you wince, throw your hand up to your head and almost lose your balance in the process. And then, it was gone. “Sweetheart,” the southern twang of the cashier sounded normal again, “you alright?” You looked up, taking your hand away from your head, “Yeah,” you then blinked a little in attempt to balance reality back up, “just something in my eye.” “Arighty then.” She smiled sweetly, but her tone said she didn’t believe you. You didn’t’ dare look at your Dad who’s stare you could feel on you like a hawk. To your surprise, he didn’t say anything.

“Hey, Y/N,” he pointed to a MISSING poster on the door, “isn’t that that guy we saw?” “It says he’s been missing a month?” You read, taking it off the window and folding it up for your pocket. “Okay, come on, Bug. Let’s go.” He took you arm and you were half dragged to the car.

You, your Dad and your Uncle Dean crept down towards the door where the man had come from. It was a sort of hatch, closed by a padlock which your Dad was busy picking. Clicking your torch on, you stepped next to Uncle Dean and prepared yourself for whatever might be inside. All three of you made the same mistake when it opened. You leaned forward to have a look. The stench of rotting bodies and sewage and anything else revolting was overbearing. “You first.” Uncle Dean coughed at his brother. “No way,” Dad winced, “you.” You watched them go back and forth and sighed, “Move.”. The steps were uneven and the smell did nothing but worsen as you neared the base. “Be careful.” Dad warned, but couldn’t take it as he soon followed you down.

The three of you stood back to back, torches outwards and guns at the ready, but it was soon clear no one was about. No one alive, anyway. Leaving them to the corpses at the side, you neared a table curiously where a body lay under a white sheet. It didn’t smell as bad which told you it was fresh. Your Dad looked up and watched as you carefully took the sheet away, revealing the face. It was her. There was no doubt about it. “Dad…” You said quietly, unaware he was already looking. He came over to you and put an arm on your shoulder, “I know…her hearts been ripped out…” “This is everybody in the house.” You added, shining your torch over the faces. “Okay so who the hell were we just talking to?” Uncle Dean asked the air.

Footsteps sounded and three guns cocked, your Dad taking a step in front of you. “Hey,” said a voice, you shifted your feet so you could see who it was, “I saw the light. You guys find some trouble to get into?” It was Max. Oh God. “Nah, no no-“ Dad stuttered, putting his hand on Max’s chest to stop him from going any further. Max locked eyes with yours and frowned at your fearful expression. He barged through Dad and Uncle Dean, coming to a halt in front of the body. “I was just…I don’t…no…”

You backed away and stood next to your Dad, your eyes not leaving her body. Tears began to fall from Max’ eyes as he knelt down next to the body. You felt awful for him, knowing all too well what it was like to find your Mother dead and alone, cold. You looked away, turning to leave and went back up the steps. It was cold out, but at least the smell didn’t follow. You clutched your jacket round you opened up your phone. It was strange that Mick had stopped calling you, even though you’d asked him to you never thought he would. He was your step-Dad after all. To him that meant family. But not to you and certainly not to Max. “Y/N, hey. You alright, bug?” Dad asked, hopping up the steps and taking a stance at your side. “Yeah…” You nodded blankly, putting your phone back away and shivering a little. “You sure?” He pushed. “I don’t know…it just- “, but before you could start explaining Max ran past, Uncle Dean following afterwards. “Max!” Uncle Dean shouted, racing after, “A little help?!” He then called back to you and your Dad, who then raced after him. He was no doubt expecting you to do the same, but you were stuck in place.

You couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened to you. The death of your sister, your Mum and then suddenly finding your Dad…it seemed unreal. Part of you expected to wake up and find out that this was all a dream. That’s why you needed to call Mick. As irritated with yourself as you were, he was the only consistent person in your life who’d been there from day one. He wasn’t exactly a good step-Dad, but neither was he a bad one. He was just confused. Not meant for the Men of Letters, really. Your finger hovered over the call button, before pressing down. To your surprise and disappointment, he didn’t pick up. It rang and rang, but no one picked up. “This is Mick Davis, leave a message.” You didn’t have anything to say so you let in run silent for a few seconds before hanging up.

The cold night air became more and more unbearable, making you shiver. Then, out of the blue, one more sharp pain hit. It was much worse than any of the ones before. It was loud and quiet. It was heavy and light. It was dense and airy. It was too much. Harsh voices whispered through your bones and hovered around your eardrums and it all became too much. You collapsed to the hard ground, clutching your head as though if you held it hard enough everything would go back to normal. Your eyes drooped and the sound subsided along with consciousness.

You woke up running. Sprinting, even. Racing through the forest, your heart beat so fast you thought it was going to stop all together. Like an idiot, you looked back. You looked back to see nothing chasing you…nothing at all? But when your head turned to face the direction you were running you skidded to a halt. There it was. The Hell Hound. It pounced on you, it’s sharp ravenous claws slicing through your skin. You screamed in agony, flailing your limbs abut helplessly as it tore into you. The pain was all you could sense. It was the smell and the taste and the sound. All pain. And then nothing.

“Brooks how are you supposed to outrun a real Hellhound when you can’t even outrun one that’s half the speed?” Mr K tutted, taking the replicators off your body and face. They were pain replicators, used to put Hunters in a simulation where everything was very much real. “Sorry…” You managed, out of breath and still able to feel the aftermath of the Hound. “Wait here.” He ordered, leaving the room. You waited a few seconds before following quietly after, peering round the corner of the corridor to eavesdrop:

“Well,” Ketch began, “they still don’t’ seem to be having any affect on her.” “That’s impossible. These injections are designed to rework you into a cold killing machine.” You felt your body tense…so that’s what they’d been jabbing you with? “Well she’s just as irritatingly Y/N as always. We might have to try her Mother, see if it’s genetics or just her.” “Rebecca doesn’t need them. She follows the rules just fine.” “Does she?” Ketch snapped, “Because I happen to be aware of just how many monsters she leaves unharmed. She’s as disobedient as her daughter is. Get me those shots.” “Yes sir.”

Part Twenty One: Realignment 

Masterlist I do not own these gifs (Tag list after cut)

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[skycladobserver]

The Door of Chaos

This is an official Steins;Gate/Chaos;Head short story (as I mentioned in a previous post). It appeared in Comptiq magazine the month before the original S;G VN was released. It was also written by Naotaka Hayashi, who was the scenario writer for both C;H and S;G. It's written from the point-of-view of Sena (from C;H).

Be forewarned that it contains major spoilers for Chaos;Head.

"Tch, I lost him."

After running down the long escalator that led underground, I clicked my tongue slightly. Resting my di-sword on my shoulder, I looked around. After spotting one of Nozomi Technology's terminals—apparently they called them 'porters'—in Shibuya Station, I had pursued him here, but he seemed to have gotten away.

The basement of Shibuya Station was like maze to anyone who didn't regularly use the subway. Because it included several subways and private railways, the interior was extremely complex. From where I was standing, I could go to the Fukutoshin Line, Hanzomon Line, or Denentoshi Line platforms. Which one had the man run to?

"Hey, did you see a chubby man wearing a backpack just now?"

I called out to a guy to had just walked past me. He was wearing a uniform, so it looked like he was a high school student, like me.

"Why don't you state your name before asking questions, woman with the long black hair?" He said in a strangely theatrical tone. A little bewildered, I answered: 'Aoi Sena.' The kid slowly pulled out a cell phone.

"...It's me. I've made contact with a strange woman. ...Yes, there's a possibility that she's an assassin from the Organization. Or perhaps she rebelled against the Organization and is on the run. If I don't contact you in a hour, assume that I've been killed, and proceed with the plan without me. That's the choice of Steins Gate. El Psy Congroo."

After murmuring something cryptic to whoever was on the phone, he put it away. Turning to face me again, he puffed out his chest self-importantly. "Who are you?"

"I told you, my name is Aoi Sena. But more importantly, did you hear a strange sound? Like a wooshing sou—"

"I see." The kid nodded like he understood. I wasn't done speaking, but...

"It's about to begin at last,” he said.

"What's about to begin? You mean the Third Melt?"

"Yes, that was the name."

I took a defensive posture. "Who are you? You can't be..."

I couldn't sense any sign of him being a gigalomaniac. Then was he involved with Nozomi Technology somehow? Maybe he was with that porter I had been chasing. If so, there were a number of things I needed to ask him. Heedless of my caution, the kid curled his lip and laughed out loud.

"Heheh, fuuhahahah! So you've realized my true identity. I guess the Organization has its fair share of able warriors, too."

"....The Organization? What is that?"

Did he mean the 'Committee'? No, there was no way someone would get that wrong. Then maybe he wasn't involved with Nozomi Technology after all. If so, did that mean he had the potential to awaken as a gigalomaniac? He did have a different air to him than most people. It felt as though this kid was partially broken. ...Just like me.

Next thing I knew, I was warning him: "Don't give into your delusions any further. Otherwise, you'll eventually be devoured by them."

"Humans are the only organisms on Earth who can indulge themselves in delusions. 'If things were like such-and-such', 'if such-and-such were possible'... Imagining possibilities that don't currently exist is the danger-predicting ability that the human animal, which is physically weak, has obtained. But that power has gotten too out of control as of late. Do you know of the Baku, who is said to eat dreams?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, you should!"

He pointed a finger at my face. I pushed his hand away in annoyance. When I glared at him, he looked visibly shaken.

"Delusions are electrical,” I told him. “To be precise, our world itself could be said to be electrical, too."

"A virtual reality...!"

Now the kid's expression brightened. He seemed excited.

"So that's how it is...! The real world has already been destroyed and we now all exist as mere data inside a quantum server!"

"I never said that."

"Oh......"

His shoulders drooped as if in disappointment. What was a 'quantum server'? I had never even heard of that.

"Is the scenery you see the real thing?" I asked.

I always used this question to determine if the person I was talking to was dangerous or not, depending on how they answered it.

The kid's answer was: "Denial of one's own existence, as well as the world's. I can understand the urge to think that way. Because this world is being controlled from the shadows by the Organiza—"

"I don't know of an 'Organization.' Don't make me tell you again."

I cut him off. Everything he said went on for so long...  And the way he talked was so theatrical that it got on my nerves. He was really throwing me off. I'd had enough, so I intended to wrap up this conversation quickly.

"Keep everything I said just now in a corner of your mind at all times," I said.

"Heh! Who do you think you are, warning someone like me?"

The kid smiled fearlessly. His eyes almost gave the impression they saw through everything, but they also kind of appeared like they were looking obliquely up at nothing.

"I'll tell you one more thing," he continued. "Do you know the Esper Nishijou?"

"What...did you say...?"

I turned to him in surprise. It had only been a few days ago that Nishijou Takumi had caused a commotion at the Shibuya crossing, which had been broadcast across the whole country.

"You mustn't let him die," he said. "The key to the world's fate rests in his hands."

"You...!"

I instantly thrust my di-sword at the tip of his nose. But the kid didn't move an inch. Was it just that he couldn't see the sword, or was he unfazed? It it was the latter... then he might be someone I had no chance of winning against. I gulped in such a way that it wouldn't be noticed.

"What do you know?" I asked. "Are you the one who provoked Nishijou?"

"The incident at the Shibuya crossing nothing more than an omen. The end is near. It won't be long before Shibuya becomes a sea of blood."

"I won't let that happen."

What was he talking about? I was so confused. I had never heard any of this. It was completely different from the reality I knew.

"Aoi Sena, was it? I'm glad I met you. But the next time we meet, we'll be enemies. When that time comes, don't show any hesitation, no matter what. Come kill me with everything you've got. If you challenge me half-heartedly... you will die."

"...What?"

'Come kill me'? Was he an enemy after all? Just a minute ago he was talking like he was a bystander. 'The next time we meet, we'll be enemies'? Did that mean that he was an ally right now? I had no idea what this kid was trying to say. Then something occurred to me. Or rather, I willed myself to believe it.

Could it be that everything he was saying was a delusion? No, it was a little misleading to call it a 'delusion.' To put it another way... It was entirely possible that he was making up everything on the spot.

"My name is Hououin Kyouma."

The kid suddenly introduced himself. The name was obviously fake. I felt annoyance toward his blatantly careless attitude.

"'Houou' as in pheonix, 'in', and an evil truth. Out of awe, people call me an insane mad scientist. We will probably meet again. That's the choice of Steins Gate. El Psy Congroo."

As he turned his back on me to leave, I kicked the back of his knees.

"Ah...!"

I thought I had kicked him lightly, but his knees buckled and he fell.

"Ngh... that was a cowardly move!"

Still sitting on his butt, the kid look flustered for a moment, but then he suddenly let out a strange sound and grasped his right arm.

"Ngh... gwaah! My arm is aching at a time like this... Stay away from me, otherwise, I'll lose control of..!"

His right arm was shaking in an unnatural manner. Maybe he was just an idiot. No, there was no 'maybe' about it; he was just an idiot. He had to be.

"Can you see it?" I asked.

"S-See what?"

"This thing in my hand."

I pointed the tip of my di-sword at him again.

I hadn't real-booted it, so it could only be seen in those who had what it took be be a gigalomaniac. Still holding his right arm, the kid nodded slightly. "...Yes, I can see it. Your all-too bright, hypnotic, so beautiful as to be cruel... sword."

"You can? Really?"

"Of course... I never thought I would live to see it. The mystical sword... Borosetsu-Gekka. A stunning... katana!"

"Don't lie, you moron!"

I stepped down hard on his crotch, and he let out a cry. Leaving him to writhe in agony, I quickly put that place behind me. How misleading... he couldn't see it, after all. I felt insulted that I'd been perplexed by the ramblings of someone like him. Above all, it was a waste of time. I had let the porter get away, too.

Just then, my cell phone rang in my pocket. When I answered it, I just heard someone breathing faintly. That was enough to tell me who it was.

"Kozue. I met someone weird just now. Talking to him was really tiring..."

That day, I just complained about him a little. But, if I were to assume that the words that kid said were a 'prophecy'... —Then about one week after that, his predictions almost all came true. After the Third Melt, I remembered that fact and felt unnerved for a moment. But...

"Well, it's probably just a coincidence."

That was the conclusion I came to.

After that, I never remembered that Hououin or whatever his name was again.