#I’ve been talking abt them so much but CAN YOU BLAME ME

[icrushthealien2]

me looking at my wonderful beautiful amazing girlfriends

friend drew a thing for me and i keep exploding and had to find some way to convey my feeligns so have this

[thesweetestofdreams]

hey gorgeous! I was thinking abt a reader who is a bit of a gym rat and her and James become friends in the gym and every day after the gym he tells rem and siri abt this girl and then one day they all meet somewhere (maybe like grocers i dont know) and the other boys fall in love and then next time they are at the gym James asks her to go on a date with all of them in hogsmeade or something cute like that and they all start going out!!!! Obviously just ignore if that sounded horrific, love you!!💞💞

poly!marauders x reader

A/N: OMg thank you so so much for your request!! I can’t tell you how excited it made me and you’re so incredibly kind! I really hope you enjoy and I hope I did your idea justice. Also let me know if you’d want a part two. I have some ideas!

You poke your head around the corner, eyes searching until you find him. A brick wall of a human, well more like a Greek god. You wave when James’ eyes meet yours in the mirror. He drops his weights and you try not to look at his arms, his hands. 

"You're going lighter," you tease instead, gesturing to his abandoned weights. 

"And you're late." He smiles at you.

"Ugh, I know." Little does he know you were obsessing over every part of your outfit and fussing with your hair. You were down bad, but you knew you couldn't be blamed entirely. You'd seen the looks of other girls, and guys, in the gym whenever James was around, yet somehow you seemed to have garnered his attention.

It all started when he saved you from an unsavory man at the bench press. You'd asked him to spot you, but apparently, he had taken that as more of an invitation than it was. He'd followed you around the gym the entire time, ranting on and on about aspects of himself that he thought made him attractive. After a half-hour of cold shoulder, he still didn't back off. He kept trying to put his hand on your waist, persistently asking for your phone number. 

"Take a hint dude," James said, pulling the man's hand off your waist. He tried to brush James off saying something about how you wanted him there. James made eye contact with you and the look you gave was all he needed. "Seriously man, shove off." Finally, after a particularly withering look from James, the man backed off cursing you for being a tease. 

"Thanks," you said, a hand pressed to your lips, clearly shaken. The whole thing made him incredibly angry. He watched your gaze follow the man across the gym, nervous.

"I'm at the weights if you want to join." The rest was history. Since then James made the gym a safe place for friendly competition and you wouldn't trade it for the world. Even if you did dream of the idea of having something more. 

James had been pretty transparent from the beginning about his relationship. The way he talked about them you felt like you practically knew his boyfriends. He talked about the two almost every chance he got. The way he lit up each time you asked about them, you could tell he loved them. 

"Oh don't let me forget I have something for you," he said from his station at the treadmill next to you. "I was telling Remus about that book you were telling me about, and he said he had one you might like." 

The idea of him talking about you in his home to his boyfriend made your head swim. "You were talking about me?" you half laugh half puff. 

"Of course," he said looking at you like it was the silliest question in the world. "I talk about them when I'm with you." 

By the end of it you were both sweaty messes, but you still let him hang an arm on your shoulder as you left. 

That night James is cooking dinner, and he can’t get his mind off of you. “I'm telling you guys. She's borderline angelic. I mean how can anyone look that good after a workout for real?” 

“I’ve seen you after a good workout Jamesie,” Sirius says, eyes salacious across the kitchen island. 

Pointedly ignoring him, James continues, “She’s just so nice, the sweetest really. I wish you guys could meet her.” He strains noodles over the sink, the steam clouding his glasses. 

“I’m sure she’s lovely, and probably twice as gorgeous as you described, but Remus and I do not do gyms, dear.” 

“You could always invite her for dinner,” Remus says, stirring sauce on the stove. 

“Oh yeah, come on over to my flat and meet my boyfriends even though we never really see each other outside the gym and I could totally be a murderer for all you know.”

“But you’re not a murderer,” Sirius laughs. 

“And how is she supposed to know that?” James pours the pasta into the sauce as Remus stirs.

“If you’re too shy to ask, that’s fine love,” Remus says, knowing exactly what he’s doing. 

You think the grocery stockers are out to get you. Your favorite granola is always on the highest shelf and this time it’s pushed back ungodly far. You're about to climb the shelves when you hear someone behind you. 

“I can help,” the man says. Of course he has to be drop dead gorgeous with honey brown hair and a worn sweater. 

“Thanks,” you say, trying not to fumble over yourself. 

“Oi Moony, they had your ice cream,” you hear from down the aisle, and to your surprise, you know that voice. 

“James?” you call peering over the shoulder of the man trying to hand you your granola. When you see the dark haired man next to James the pieces start to fall into place. There’s James next to what has to be Sirius and the man in front of you must be…

“Remus, I see you’ve met y/n,” James says walking to the two of you. “He must be putting the moves on you. He would just let us struggle.” James winks at you. Remus, on the other hand, is still reeling from your smile. It was like watching the way he feels when he sees James and Sirius played out right on your pretty features. 

Your almost star struck. It feels like meeting celebrities the way James talks about them. “It’s nice to meet you,” you say, smiling wide, hugging the granola to your chest. “James talks about you all the time.” It’s a funny feeling to have faces to add to all the stories you’ve heard before. 

“Funny, we could say the same thing,” Sirius says, giving James a look you don’t quite understand. 

“Sirius was starting to get jealous,” Remus jokes. 

“Yeah, of James,” Sirius says, winking at you. His flirtatious persona falters for a second when you laugh. He’s caught by the sound, and once it's over he already wants to hear it again. James was right, you're magic. “Who’d have thought we’d find an angel in the cereal aisle of all places.”

“Or the gym.” James smiles. 

They’re flirting with you. It feels nice you have to admit, but it’s starting to make your cheeks burn and your head spin.

“It’s been so lovely to meet you,” you say to them both, “but sadly I have to run.” It’s almost like they deflate. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” James asks, expectant. 

“Of course,” you smile, “don’t be late, it’s leg day.” He gives a dramatic groan, but you see his smile never falter. 

As you leave you hear James say, “I told you.” 

James is all smiles the next day, well he’s usually pretty smiley, but he seems particularly bright today. You got there early just to tease him but his expression winds you. 

“How are you?” James always asks like he truly wants to know. 

You set your shoulders, hands on your hips, “ready to crush you.” He answers with a hearty laugh and you fall into the same comfortable routine you’re used to. First is warm up squats. 

“Remus and Sirius were quite taken with you.” You try to stamp down the butterflies in your stomach. It’s not really working. 

“Me? You’re the ones who could be models.” You hope your flustering comes across closer to being winded. You notice James has stopped and now he’s just standing at your side. “Flattery doesn’t get you out of squats James,” you say pointing a finger to the ground.

“Actually I wanted to ask you something,” he says, he looks shy for once, a hand pulling at the back of his neck. You feel your stomach swoop, but you’re not trying to get your hopes up. 

“Of course,” you say, feeling somewhat like a deer in headlights. 

“Well, we were wondering… I mean I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now, but now they’re really on me. Anyways,” his gaze meets yours, “would you like to go out sometime… with us?” 

“Like a date?” you ask wide-eyed.

“Yeah,” he smiles, “Only if you’d want to though.” You’ve never seen him actually look nervous before. It’s endearing really, charming even.

“Yes,” you say, you’re practically bouncing on your feet, newly energized. “I’d really like that.” 

James smiles wide, it’s a smile he wears with his whole face, crinkling eyes and dimpled cheeks. Just like that James is critiquing your form and things are back to normal, but really they probably just changed forever. 

Hogsmeade is bustling with Autumn. Leaves flood the sides of the streets from where they flutter off stray branches. It’s like a scene from the movies except you’re in it and the scene is yours. You could be floating for all you know. 

Sirius is just as charming as James said. The four of you come upon a wishing well, and Sirius declares that you have to toss it over your shoulder for the wish to come true. After four successful tosses he looks at you conspiratorially. “What’d you wish for?” He smiles at you with a tilt of his head like he thinks he could guess, and you feel a blush burning your cheeks. 

“She can’t tell you, Pads, it won’t come true,” Remus says, shaking his head as he falls into step behind you. Remus asks you about the book he recommended. Bashful, you confess you haven’t finished. He feigns shock but it’s short lived. 

“That’s okay, no spoilers then, for now.” He points a finger in warning. “I can’t make any promises for next time.” Next time, you really like the sound of next time. 

As the night marches forward and the weather grows colder you find yourselves in the three broomsticks, steaming butterbeer warming you from the inside out. Talking to them is borderline dizzying. You’ve never had such undivided attention. Remus listens to everything you say like he’s taking notes, and Sirius like he’s drinking you in, hanging off of everything you say. He has a sharpness to his eyes that would be intense if he wasn’t practically melting into James. James smiles like he has everything in the world.

[chocum]

yea tattoo artist choso but .. what abt tattoo artist geto

congrats on 1k btw!

eee thank youuuu 🙈🙈 i’m souuurrr happy you requested geto bc i’ve been wanting to write abt other characters. AND THISS got out of hand lollll ( 1.5k ) idk what came over me i just word vomited all over my phone… & it’s unedited

— tattooartist!geto x reader // mentions of smoking, m masterbation, fleshlight, cum eating, kinda pervy geto idk he tells reader to take her shirt off when she doesn’t need to so, nipple play, v in p, mentions of overstim, creampiee

suguru geto is one of the most, if not the most popular tattoo artists in your area— hell, probably even farther than that. just to book an appointment, there’s a waitlist not including the months and months he’s already booked for. so when you finally get that confirmation email after waiting for what felt like years, you physically jump up, rushing to get ready and go to the parlor

“i don’t have anyone today under that name, sorry”

suguru pushes a strand of silk black hair behind his pierced ears, the dragon tattoo on his hand moving as he does so almost like it’s taunting you.

“what? i got an email today i just-” your hand reaches into your purse slacked over your shoulder to pull out your phone and prove your appointment was today, but when you go back to check, heat spreads across your cheeks faster than ever.

the date said next month

“ya had the right day i’ll give you that” and he’s laughing. not at you but because you’re cute, he thinks. pouting, growing hot from embarrassment. “i’ll tell you what..”

he leans in and you can smell the smoke that lingers on his breath mixing like some sort of love potion with his musky cologne, his pierced eyebrow quirking, browned eyes staring into yours with puffy lips wet from licking, “i can squeeze you in tomorrow. was supposed to have an off day but ill help a pretty girl like you out, how’s that sound?”

and you’ve never nodded faster. smile pulling at your glossed lips, drawing his to get trapped underneath his teeth.

“here i’ll give you my number, i’ll text you the time ‘n stuff later”

with that, you leave his parlor, your number scribbled on the back of some old receipt next to your name and a heart.

geto’s no better than a man. no better. he goes home that night and texts you as soon as he’s tucked into bed.

hey this is suguru btw.

your phone vibrates on your nightstand, and you smile at the notification. it almost felt unreal, someone who felt so unreachable, someone like geto in your phone, texting you first.

hey!

he catches himself smiling at the message too, his mind trailing back to seeing your pretty face when you walked into the parlor. the way you looked around doe-eyed like a little deer in headlights. looked innocent, and he liked that. maybe a little too much, his dick twitching against the fabric of his boxers.

he only talked to you for a few minutes. barely even held a conversation, but god did you look good. can’t blame him for getting like this.

what time is good for you? like i said, im supposed to be off but had no plans so any time is fine.

your thumbs dance across your keyboard as you think of what to say in response. you’re nervous. and if you knew he was jerking his cock, you’d be even more. his hand slowly .. very slowly rubbing his leaky tip, his head full, overflowing and bubbling with thoughts of you. what are you doing right now? are you in bed too? squeezing his warm balls, cupping them, teasing himself, imagining it’s your sweet little hands.

is 6 pm okay?

the little buzz drags him from his thoughts.

yea. see you then, pretty.

the simple little pet name makes you feel like you’re going to explode. so warm all over your body, and you wish you could just time travel to the next day and see him already.

geto brings the palm of his large hand to his face, lolling his tongue out to lick long stripes on it, shivering at the feeling of his own piercing before wrapping around the base of his thick cock, stroking himself only two times. this won’t do.

he reached for the pocket pussy he keeps nested deep in his drawer. leaning over to let spit fall and dribble into the clear toy before rubbing it on his tip.

groaning, “shiiiiittt” his hips bucking up as he slowly lets it sink down— body twitching at the feeling of all the little bumps and ridges massaging his sensitive cock.

“fu- fuck juuuust like that, mhhhm”

imagining he’s inside your tight little walls, squishing him like he’s meant for you, snug and tight like a puzzle piece.

his chest heaved with every snap of his wrist, spit sinking out and ringing out the base of his cock leaking down to his heavy balls, “feel so fucking good baby”

so fast he’s already shooting into the toy, whining because it’s not you. wishing it was you, your warm walls probably feel so much better. probably sound so cute taking him from behind or from the front, your eyes locked onto his.

he came so much it’s leaking all over himself. so messy and dirty and he brings the toy up and licks it all out, shoving his tongue inside the rubbery walls to flick and clean it up.

“shit”

the next day came too slowly. to you but especially to suguru. he went to the parlor an hour earlier to open and tidy up, pulling his raven locs into a ponytail, letting a few stray strands fall and frame his face, counting each and every second.

and then he hears it. the little ding as the door opens, you push it open smiling up at him as you walk through and you look even better than he remembered. and he’s trying so hard to keep his composure.

he nods at you, giving you a small smile, “so what did you want to get, and where?”

at your reply he freezes, his hands almost crumbling up the paperwork he reached for you to fill out — “my chest”

“your chest?”

he parrots you. then he repeats it in his head a few more times. picturing you pull your little top up.

he can tell you’re not wearing a bra with how your nipples perk up and poke through the flimsy, almost see-through fabric.

you nod your head, mhm sounding and bubbling past your lips.

god, you’re going to be the death of him.

after you finish with all the paperwork, he pulls you into the back making small talk asking about your day. and you indulge, asking back, finding comfort in the normality of your conversation. he’s different from what people painted him out to be and you felt relaxed in his presence.

even more when he offers you a seat, cleaning it off before slipping on some black gloves. his hands almost bulge out, his knuckles poking through the latex.

“can i see the design?”

you pull up the picture on your phone and he hums, “and you said your chest, right?”

again he repeats it, almost as if it’s a mantra he’s using to calm his nerves. calm his dick.

you just nod, “do i need to take my shirt off?”

and well no you don’t, not yet at least, but he says yes, reaching forward to do it for you because he’s just so sweet, right? so nice and caring, and welcoming.

and he only wraps his lips around your tits to soothe you, right? sucking, letting his teeth sink into the buds, the silver ball tracing over them. his other glove-clad hand cupping them.

sinks his cock into you just cause he wants to take care of you, right? he could tell you wanted it soo bad. your thighs pressing together so tightly when he pressed his lips against your chest with a soft, “suguru please”

“mhm let me take care of you, pretty girl, spread em, hold yourself open f’me— uh huh, juuust like that.”

your little arms shake and tremble, hooking around the back of your knees as he pushes into your tight cunt. and fuck, he was right. feels so much better than his toy.

“fuuuckk found your spot, baby, ‘s right there? yeah feel good right there?” he rolls his hips up, brushing against that spot, his thick tip kissing it, making your body twitch.

“yes— fuck yes feels so good”

right about you sounding so fucking good too— his cock twitching inside the solitude of your pretty slimy walls. shivering at how you suck and milk him so well, so tight and warm. so fucking warm. feels so good he’s already close, but he wants to keep making you feel good, keep hearing you, and if he was to fuck his cum into you, overstimulating his needy cock to do that, then so be it.

“inside” you whine out at how he twitches, his stokes sputtering and faltering as he languidly pushing into your sopping pussy, leaking all over him, so wet.

“ohh — fuck ohfuck” and it pushes him over the edge, bottoming out to overfill you, make you nice and creamy ‘cause you deserve it. deserve it for being so good, making him feel so good.

letting his head fall onto your shoulder sweat sprinkling his forehead as he empties himself for you. for your pretty pussy, all for you.

[skelly-words]

hiii , if i can ask for like mammon and mc sitting in his room and he tried to "do it" with her a lot of times but she just stop him , one day he get a little mad so asked for asmo help , so asmo asked mc what was the reason and she told him that she feel insecure abt her body , he conferm her، and when asmo tell mammon abt it he go to her and make her love her body on his way

thanks if u accept it and if not have a good day<333333

(NSFW Mammon x Reader)

18+ no minors allowed!

Hiiiii anon, thanks for the ask. hope this is what you were looking for. This was proofread by Grammarly and that's it so I apologize in advance for mistakes.

No use of Y/N. There are no pronouns used (I think) but the reader is pretty feminine (wears a skirt, pretty girl is used once or twice, has a pussy.)

Tags: serviceswitch!mammon o7, very vanilla, light fluff, praise, cunnilingus, cumming untouched, very light angst, hair pulling, language, spit kink? lemme know if I missed anything

Synopsis: see ask above. Mammon eats you out.

Wc: 3.7k

You and Asmo love to gossip. Every week or so you get together, shopping and pampering yourselves and spilling every detail of your personal lives. You're ending the relaxing afternoon with bottomless mimosas at Hell’s Kitchen’s Sunday brunch, talking way too loudly about everybody’s business. It’s so easy to forget about the world and vent when the waiter fills up your champagne glass and Asmo smiles so encouragingly at every word you say. Though, today it seems like Asmodeus has an agenda. He keeps steering the conversation towards you and Mammon’s budding relationship, which is exactly the topic you want to avoid. 

“At least tell me if he's a decent lay” Asmo whines. “If not I have a 50-slide presentation I can send you to give him a crash course in pussy.”

“That sounds more like a master’s program. Besides, I wouldn't know.” You mumble the last part around the rim of the champagne glass as you down the drink, and Asmo signals at a waitress to bring you a refill. 

“What?” Asmo really tries to sell his shock here. He feels bad lying to you, but it's not often he has Mammon begging for a favor. “No way, are you losing interest?”

You shake your head quickly. “No.”

“Are you a virgin? Is it too much pressure?” With every question he scoots a little closer to you in the booth, so you only need to whisper an answer. 

“Nothing like that. I've been with a couple of people before, and Mammon is really sweet. He barely even mentions sex at all anymore. I think he might even be scared to kiss me. I'm more worried about him losing interest if I don't put out.”

“You don't have to worry about that. He's insane about you.” Asmo scoffs. “Like he-should-be-institutionalized insane.”

You laugh at Asmo and shove his arm off of where it loops over your shoulder. 

“No, I'm serious,” he continues. “I want to sedate him before even mentioning you. I think he'd rename important landmarks after you if he could. Whenever his mouth opens, there's a 96% chance he's gonna bring you up. You get it?”

“Thanks, I get it,” you murmur softly. Tears threaten to fall as your vision blurs a little and you blame the four mimosas and the fifth one the waitress sets in front of you. “Now I feel guilty. He's too sweet for me.”

“No, hun. That's not what I meant.” Asmo pulls you into a hug. A real one that he doesn't let you shrug off. “What I'm saying is that you can talk to him about whatever you want and I'm sure he’ll understand or at least help you work through it.”

His hug is warm and soothing, arms holding you close and tight without feeling suffocating. 

“You're the best, Asmo,” The words are a little slurred and shaky, but it’s easy to get emotional when you’re buzzed and Asmo is being so sweet. “I don’t know. It has nothing to do with Mammon. It’s just, I’ve never had great self-esteem, so physical intimacy can be a little hard. I mean, there's plenty of things for me to be insecure about, and I'm aware of every single one of them, so when I see how pretty and perfect Mammon is-”

“Gross.” He cuts you off at the perfect time, right before your sappy rambling. He makes a retching sound and reaches for his drink to wash away that sourness. 

You glare up at him. “That's my boyfriend you're gagging at, asshole.”

“Yeah. You sure know how to pick ‘em.” His nose scrunches up, and you're half-sure it’s involuntary. 

“Yeah.” You sigh dreamily and continue. “I just don't know how to bring a mood-killer like that up.”

“Want me to tell him for you?”

You think about it for a moment. “I feel like I should stop being a little bitch and just rip off the band-aid.”

“Okay, you could, but you haven't.”

“I think talking it out with you will make it easier though. I'm gonna talk to him as soon as we get home.”

“Promise? Cause I'm sick of him bitching about how you don't love him anymore.”

You smile and nod and pretend the confidence is from more than the alcohol. “I promise.”

***

Mammon’s been waiting for Asmo to text him all day, nervously pacing or playing with random things in his room to occupy the time. He’s flipping through an old copy of a magazine he modeled for when his phone buzzes with Asmo’s custom ringtone, quickly followed by yours. He snatches the phone off the bed and flops down between the pillows. He reads the text from Asmo first.

Asmo: So so, sorry, but I can’t spill ): We’ll be home in like 20 minutes

“Ugh.” Mammon glares at the ceiling. He was sure Asmo would come through. Especially after loaning you two Lucifer’s stolen his credit card for the day out. 

Mammon opened your messages next.

<3: We’ll be back in a little bit.

<3: If you’re not busy, let’s hang out. Love ya

Mammon: I’m never too busy for you, chillin' in my room

<3: Good answer

The next twenty minutes are spent trying to figure out how to dress. Mammon tries to master the look of lazily lounging around the house without looking suspiciously slutty. The final decision was a black wife beater and basketball shorts. He even experimentally smudges his eyeliner to make it look a little slept-in. He carefully uses the remaining time to switch out accessories and pose around his room in an attempt to see “where he looks the hottest.” In the end, his efforts are futile and he doesn’t notice you come in, too busy changing out his earrings.

“Hey.” You tap him on the shoulder, hesitantly, not wanting to scare him. 

“Oh, hey, hi.” He turns around, lips pressed into a smile that looks a little too tight for his face. “So how was your day with, um, Asmo?”

“Nice.” Now that the mimosas had worn off and Asmodeus wasn’t around to keep you confident, the impending conversation was starting to make you nervous. 

“Just nice?” Mammon asked with a tilt of his head. “What can I do to make your day better, babe?” He gently cups your face, becoming acutely aware of the sweat on his palms, and the breakfast on his breath when he kisses you.

You kick yourself for how quickly you break the kiss to murmur against his lips, “I’ve been lying to you. Well, only by omission, but still. Can we talk?”

Your hands hold each other to stay steady. Realistically, there’s nothing to be nervous about. You’ve blown this whole thing out of proportion, but it’s not like insecurities follow basic logic. 

“Yea, ‘f course.” His hands trail down your sides. 

You don’t notice the sweat, more the warmth as he thumbs over each of your ribs.

“Just talk to me, angel.”

And you hate that it sounds like he’s begging. Like he wants you to dump your baggage on him. Especially, when it should be so easy for you to just get over it on your own.

“I don't think I'm hot enough for you.” It comes out messy and unarticulated.

“What? That’s ins-”

You don’t let him finish, cutting his rebuttal off with the more rehearsed version of what you said. “I mean, whenever I go to see you at your photoshoots, you look so good with those other models. You're surrounded by all these perfect men and women who you'd look great with, so great that it's literally on the cover of a magazine, and I can't compete with that. And it's not like this hasn't happened before. I've never been the first choice, just someone to settle for or a rebound, y’know?”

“Not really.” He scratches the back of his neck, realizing how clammy his hands have become and how uninspiring that answer is. “But, well, that's because I've never felt that way about you. There’s no need to compete with anybody, baby. You're everything to me. I don't even notice other people when you're around or when I'm thinking about you, which is always. And I can't make up for shitty past relationships, but I hope you know I'm better than that.”

“Thank you, and I wanted to apologize. That’s why I’ve been avoiding being physical with you, but that seems kinda dumb now. So, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. And I'm a little insulted that you'd compare me to your past partners. I'm The Great Mammon, not some idiot human boy with no brain. I can't even comprehend why you'd jump to that. I'm appalled, disgusted even, livi-”

You cut him off with a kiss. Smiling into the lines of his lips as he struggles to keep up. 

He breaks the kiss to keep talking. “And I'm not just saying all this ‘cause I wanna have sex with you. Not that I don't want to do that. I just don't want you thinki-”

“Shut the fuck up, Mammon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” His hands find your waist again to pull you towards him. 

The way you kiss is slow and natural. A welcome change to the stiff distance you’d previously been putting between your bodies. His hands wander and guide you closer. It takes a moment for you to reciprocate, too distracted by the simple comfort of his touch.

You rest your arms on his shoulders, lazily lifting a hand to play with the fine hairs on the nape of his neck. As your fingers tangle higher up on his head, you tug gently to pull him away. It’s nice just to look into his eyes for a second. The dark blue near the center of his iris almost blends with his blown pupils. You find it impossible to pick a favorite shade of blue when his kaleidoscope gaze stares so intensely back at you. 

“It’s you who’s too pretty for me.” Mammon doesn’t even try to kiss you, just looking at you, flicking his eyes up and down your face. His thumbs barely dip under your shirt and skim the skin of your stomach, memorizing it in the pads of his fingers. 

“Stop it.” You take a small, nearly involuntary, step backward. 

He follows you, pushes you until the back of your knees hits the edge of the bed. 

“No. You gonna let me see all of your pretty self?” He asks. “Take it off.”

Mammon gently stretches the fabric of your shirt away from your body, waiting patiently for you to comply. 

You nod. Your eyes slip shut as you peel the top off, and you don’t bother opening them to see his reaction. You just wait for him to say something, to touch you, or to give you any indication of disgust and rejection.

He holds you gently by the side of your neck, lifting your chin with the pads of his thumbs.

“Can you look at me, sunshine?” 

It takes a moment for you to make eye contact with him. You’re not expecting him to be disgusted or reject you, but that doesn’t stop you from being nervous or unsure. He smiles when you finally meet his eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything right now. It’s your call, always, okay?”

“Okay, but I do want you right now. ‘M just a little nervous.” Your hands need something to do, so they go back to threading through his hair. You thank Jesus that Mammon takes that as a cue to kiss. His hands smooth down to your shoulders, never breaking away from your skin. 

The kiss is too long and too deep, not parting until you’re roughly panting into each other’s mouths. You sit on the bed and Mammon pushes you down onto the mattress, waiting for you to tell him to stop.

“Don't just stare, weirdo.”

He chuckles, and you can feel it on your face.

“Sorry. I just can’t believe you’re real, and really with me.” His admission comes with a blush smeared across his face. It’s hard for him to continue the eye contact after that. Mammon buries his face in the crook of your neck as he laughs again. “You’re just here, and I love you so much.”

Your fingers are less rough in his hair, gentle and soothing. His arms dip behind your back to hug you, keeping your bodies pressed together for a minute or five. Until he’s sure you’re not leaving. When he finally moves, it’s to unhook and remove your bra, but then he’s back to hugging you again. This time, kissing between your breasts, he doesn’t know why you’d ever keep this from him. His hands don't stay in one place for long, wanting to feel every inch of the body that you've been hiding. 

“You know what pisses me off the most?” Mammon lifts his head to look up at you. Saliva coats his mouth, your skin, and connects the two with lust and heat. 

You don't answer, half-scared he's changed his mind. 

“I hate knowing that someone else has seen you like this before me. I wish I was your first everything.” His mouth is smothering yours again like he wants the feeling of his lips to stay there even after you’ve parted. From your mouth, he drags light kisses down your jaw and to your neck. He keeps you so close that, even though he can't see it, he can feel the flush coming off of you. 

“You won't hide from me anymore, right?” His kisses begin at the junction of your shoulder but quickly drop lower, down your chest, tummy, thighs, winding a clear path down your torso.

“Hey.” Mammon stops and the fuzziness dissolves. Your attention easily snaps back to him, where he kneels on the floor, hair sticking out where you’d tugged it out of place. “When I ask you questions, fucking answer me.”

You swallow thickly and nod, unsure of what would come out if you opened your mouth. 

“Words, babe. You won’t hide from me anymore?” Though it’s a statement, he’s still asking. The skin of your thighs is worried between his teeth as he waits for an answer. 

“I wo-” You cut yourself off, inhaling sharply when his teeth dig in too hard. He soothes that spot with his tongue, making you moan into the back of your hand. 

“Close enough,” he murmurs.

He inches the hem of your skirt up as his lips climb back up your skin. 

You scoot up the bed when his mouth lands on the crotch of your panties next. He chases you, following and following until your back is pressed against the headboard.

“Quit that.” Mammon yanks your knees apart. His broad shoulders stop your legs from snapping back shut. “Where’re you going?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I mean- don’t you wanna fuck?”

He nods into the crease of your thigh, nosing the lace trim of your panties. “But not yet, treasure. I’ve been missing meals, gonna make up for lost time. Can I taste your pretty pussy, please?”

“Yeah,” and it comes out like a breath. You slip your panties off. Mammon never lets you close your legs, so you have to frustratingly take one leg out at a time. 

He grabs the garment, dangling the blue panties in front of your face.

“Can I keep these?”

You snort. “Pervert.”

“So?”

“Yeah, you can have them.”

Mammon neatly folds the dirty underwear and roughly stuffs them into the pocket of his shorts.

“You’ll get them back when I’m done.” He’s not looking at you when he says that, eyes dropping lower to where your legs are spread as he pushes your skirt up around your waist. You feel warm like it’s too much for him to look at you.

“Gross,” but it comes out weak. You’ve shrunk back into the pillows, barely breathing between your fingers, mouth gone dry.

“Uhuh.” Mammon nods, dragging his nose down the trimmed hair above your slit. The hands on your thighs slide inward, keeping your legs spread and pinned against his pillows. His bottom lip brushes your clit as his mouth drops lower. He completely skips over the nub, licking at the slick pooling beneath it. “You get this wet for everyone?”

You can’t speak, covering your mouth with your palm to bar any sounds from escaping. His head tilts, looking both amused and curious as he waits for an answer.

“No,” you mumble.

“Yeah, well good.” Mammon’s mouth quirks up into a smug grin as he readjusts himself to lay more comfortably on the bed. He lies flat on his stomach, lazily kicking his legs back and forth as he kisses around your clit. He knows exactly where it is, but teases on purpose until he can feel your hips straining beneath his hands. 

Mammon’s palms keep you pressed down so easily that you don’t notice how desperate you are beneath him. Not until he lets you go. The reaction of your body is involuntary, a few rough rolls of your hips before you can keep yourself still. Your groans are stifled by your palm, you can feel the hot breath and saliva collecting behind your hand. 

“Wait?” He sounds disappointed. “Don't stop.” 

Mammon’s hands catch beneath your thighs, sloppily simulating the roll of your hips against his face. The movements of his mouth are less coordinated, too preoccupied with the strain on his forearms. Your juices smear messily on his chin as he works you open, pushing more and more of his tongue into you.

Spit collects in your mouth. You can’t keep from moaning into your palm, and all that sweat and drool runs from the corners of your mouth to collect on your chin. His mouth is warm, and the flick of his tongue deep inside you makes you match the pace he’s already set. 

Mammon grunts against your cunt. You can feel it more than hear it. The sound is low, deep in his chest, and drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat in your ears. The edge of your orgasm builds with the soft vibrations of his lips. Your hesitant grind is pushed quicker by the need to get off. Every glance down at your spit-covered pussy has you bucking upward with a muffled gasp. 

Mammon is lazy, leaving you to chase your high as he looks up at you, enamored by how you still try so hard to cover the sounds spilling from your mouth. He’d say something about it if his mouth wasn’t so busy. It’s not until you dare to stop staring at him that he speaks up.

“C’mon.” Mammon lands a sloppy kiss on your clit. “What? Now you’re too good to even look at me, pretty girl?” He manages to sound so fucking pathetic and upset that you look back down at him. He grins back at you, pleased with his performance. Small kisses work up from your sopping hole to swollen bud. He flicks his tongue, teasing and testing before fully sucking on it. 

“Shit.” This is the first sound you let through your fingers, followed by a shaky moan as you try to control your breath. You can’t help but pant, stuttering, and heavy between the gaps in your fingers. 

“I know,” Mammon keeps his words short, barely parting from your skin to speak.

Though he tries to hide it, you can’t help but notice how he pushes his hips into the comforter, grinding his dick against the mattress through however many layers of fabric. You almost feel bad for him, but then he moans against you like he’s the one getting head. 

The hand you’d been using to keep yourself muffled reached between your legs to tangle in Mammon’s hair. The palm is still tacky from spit, sticking to make you tug rougher on the strands than you mean to. 

“M-more. Just a little bit more.” The words stumble out of your mouth like you don't know what you’re saying. Whatever will make him push his tongue a little deeper. “Pretty please.”

“Mhmm,” Mammon moans an affirmative into your pussy. He can feel your clit throb against his nose. Each second that passes brings you closer to climaxing. 

You’re stuffed full of his tongue, rubbing your clit on the bump of his nose. He’s barely done anything himself except taking it and whining. The rhythmic rutting of his hips starts working the comforter up the bed, gathering it beneath him to fuck into. He’s not even looking at you straight anymore, eyes focusing or crossing dazedly. 

You tighten your hand in his hair by pure instinct as you writhe beneath him.

“I think I’m gonna-” You’re not given a chance to finish before the twist in your stomach spills over. “O-oh, Mammon. Fuck, I’m-”

The last of your words are drowned out by his own needy moans. His hips hump the comforter bunched beneath him.

“Fuck, I love you.” His tongue licks a long stripe up your cunt.

“I’m still sensitive.” You shudder, and the hand in his hair falls to grip your skirt.

“Gotta clean up my mess,” he mumbles. He laps the saliva and cum from your skin, eventually just leaving wet kisses up the crease of your thigh. 

Mammon’s sweaty and flushed, still grinding into the blankets. His eyes flick shut and he lays his head flat on your lower stomach. His breaths are quick, warming your skin. 

A hand slips from underneath you to overlap yours. He pulls it back to his hair. “Pull it again.”

You want to be gentle, running a hand through the white strands. Mammon doesn’t care for your afterglow tenderness and slaps the side of your leg.

“Please, baby. I wanna cum.” Mammon kisses your stomach, low below your navel.

You can’t help but laugh at him. It’s too pathetic when accompanied by the frantic rolls of his hips. You can feel the skin beneath his head get sticky from the sweat and drool he smears onto you. He looks and sounds more fucked out than you just from using his mouth on you.  His thrusts stutter when you twist cruelly on his hair. 

“Yes, yes, like that.” He lets out a string of swears as he spills into his sweatpants. His labored breathing crests and slows, and you can feel when they finally grow even. “Thank you, treasure.”

Mammon doesn’t move from where he is, still comfortably tucked between your legs as he comes down from his high. It’s not until he’s been suspiciously quiet for too long that you realize he’s asleep.

[kingkatsuki]

ok but if you’re up for it, can we pls talk abt tokoyami with a corruption kink? i’ve definitely touched on it before, but here’s today’s brainrot.

fumi loves seeing you in pastels and soft tones. in clothes that make you look innocent and sometimes modest. there’s just something about seeing you look so sweet that makes his blood run hot. he wants to play with that, taint it, watch it fall away.

depending on the context, i could see him enjoying it when you play dumb or like you’re so clueless and naive. there’s an appeal to both corrupting someone that’s innocent into doing gross things for him, and slowly getting someone with perceived innocence to open up and reveal how perverse and corrupted they already are. it’s then his priority to push that as much as possible (with consent obv).

you mention something that you might like or whatever and he coaxes you to talking about it in detail while planning in his head how he’s going to make it happen. you can blame dark shadow on that imo…. dark shadow drops little thoughts in his head all the time of “what if…” whenever you’re around. sometimes fumi’s face gets hot and flushed out of nowhere because of it, and he’s so thankful you can’t tell as long as he keeps his cool.

sigh. tokoyami is lovely.

I think it’s about the thrill of the chase for him, because Tokoyami has always been a patient man. And he’d wait more than a lifetime for you.

You’re such a pretty thing, far nicer than him. Far too good for him. So of course it’s not his fault when he gets a little carried away— telling you how pretty you’d look sprawled out beneath him while his fingers tease your clit. Whether you’d be able to take two of his fingers or if he’d have to stretch you out first, if you’d be good and take them for him.

It’s a sick and twisted game for him, corrupting something far prettier than him. Something that has him fucking into his fist at night as he pictures breaching your tight heat for the first time—

So he’s full of lingering touches and choice words, the kind that ruminate in your pretty little head whenever you try to fall asleep at night beneath your thick pink comforter and surrounded by your plush toys. Words that cause a heat to ferment between your thighs, soaking your panties and tainting your mind before Tokoyami has even had a chance to touch you.

And he knows it— lifting your hand to press a soft, sensual kiss to your palm as he smells the remnants of your slick against those pretty painted fingers. Because no amount of those sickly sweet body wash and lotions could ever wash away the saccharine scent of sheer depravity. Groaning deep in his chest as he pictures them pressed against your puffy clit as you think about all the sick, nasty things he wants to do to you— and he will do them.

It’s cute that you still try to act so innocent around him, even though he knows you’re anything but now. Tarred with the sick depravity that runs deep inside him, that’s threatening to bubble over and expose you for the dirty little girl you really are. The nasty slut that’s alrady caged inside you and is waiting to be set free— and just like a bird, he’ll let you soar.

“Aren’t you going to tell me how your night was, sweetheart?” He smiles so kindly, but he already knows the answer from how your cheeks flush and your thighs instinctively clench together, “You went to bed so early—“

He wants to hear you say it, wants those disgusting words to sound on the tip of your tongue. The depravity almost sounding sweet when you say it, filled with innocence and sincerity. How wet you were, how ruined m your cute panties were and how many times— Tokoyami wants to hear how many times you came touching yourself to the thought of him, because he’ll make you cum twice as many when you finally deserve his cock.

[syscultureis]

This might me a weird confession or not something you guys wanna talk abt but I need someone to hear this so here we go anyway.

I used to be a system, kinda, I used to think I was a system and was openly a system in online sys communities with system friends; one day I just kinda disappeared because I was(and still kinda am I think?) convinced I was actually a faker and didn’t have OSDD. Ever since then I’ve been living as a singlet, or at least under the assumption I’m a singlet, and have been kind of ignoring every symptom I have; but recently I’ve been getting more system community post on basically every social media and it’s making me rethink everything. Even when I was a sys faker or whatever it is I was I would go through phases of doubt and blamed all my symptoms on other issues, I’d straight up blame all the different voices in my head on psychosis and shit. I don’t know how to move on from here, I feel like I’m realizing I could potentially have not been a faker like I thought and just went back into a state of unawareness because it stressed me out so much to think abt and now I’m becoming aware again. If anyone has any advice for me I’d really appreciate it.

Sorry for the big submission/ramble.

We do this a lot actually, this blog is our own way of trying to remind ourselves the proof we have that we aren't faking

For us it's always just been "even when I'm trying my hardest, my symptoms never stop"

I can ignore them all I want, but it doesn't change that I get stuck dissociating for hours. Or that I lose so much time. Or that I act so differently constantly that people call me on it. Or that I hear others thinking in my head (even if I try to write it off as my own thoughts)

I get stuck with intense "this is not me" when I look in the mirror

When I try to ignore my symptoms I feel like I have no identity and that I'm playing pretend. When I stop ignoring it slowly I'm reminded it's because all those versions of me aren't really me, they're other alters who exist to help even when it doesn't feel like it

I might not be explaining this well, I'm really blurry and think we may have switched half way through and I don't really remember where we were going with this lol

But if you're questioning, research is your best friend. Outside of social media specifically. And also it's okay to be wrong! You're not gonna get everything right every single time, we have been so wrong about our own system so many times it could be a post on its own lmao

[justallihere]

THE WAY YOU JUST DROPPED THE NEWEST CHAPTER OUT OF NOWHERE?????? EXCUSE ME ???? I was literally bored out of my mind and ignoring work responsibilities and then you dropped this? It was divine intervention.

so many thoughts so please bear with me

I appreciate how succinctly you wrapped up the Tecarus/luminary conversation. We don't need to spend unnecessary time reading more about him and his annoying niece (Cat not Syrena)

Drake fucking with Xaden has got to happen more often. I have this plot in my head, that Drake will just be "innocently" talking with Vi, and Vi knows what Drake is doing but plays along with it bc it annoys Xaden. Drake feels like that annoying older brother that just wants to fuck with the younger siblings in a good-natured way

Love me some DrakexMira moments... or well Drake staring at Mira and her not giving him the time of day. That's one of my favorite tropes ngl.

Xaden is so open and free with his smiles around Vi and I am equal parts disgusted and happy for him. I love and hate them your honor!!!!

IM SO GLAD WE GOT A SLOANE/DAIN MOMENT. Ngl I forgot abt them but when I read that part, I remembered the bit that didn't make it where Sloane was ogling Dain fighting Cam. man has a TYPE!!!! Poor guy likes her and Sloane is being a bit of a tsundere (idk if you know that term but she's being hot/cold)

I'm imagining the affronted/scandalized look on Vi's face when Xaden didn't share the tea about Dain+Sloane, meanwhile, Xaden just wants to kiss the shit out of her. I HATE THEM SO MUCH

Question: Did they have to imbue the wardstone like they did in canon, or was this assumed that it happened in the background (correct me if I'm wrong about my canon knowledge 💀)

Let me tell you, when I was screaming at poor Vi in canon when she skipped around in Warrick/Lyra's journals (I don't blame her, shes like what 21??? and stressed out her mind and everyone is also like in their early 21s) BUT I'm glad that in SITQ she started from the beginning.

The way I audibly GASPED when the guard was like "your mother is here". I was literally thinking a minute before, when the venin was threatening Violet, that theyre going to use her mother to lure her out (not that, that isn't in the realm of possibility) but I was worried for Liilth's health and safety after that threat. BUT MAMA SORRENGAIL IS BACK AND IM HERE FOR THE DRAMA.

I have this fear that Violet is going to potentially pull from the earth to save everyone.... bc that threat from the venin was ominous as HELL, but like that won't happen right?? right???????? RIGHT ALLI????

Questions

So like are we going to see Jack and Nolon make a comeback??? Bc fuck those two but if its for the plot then I guessss I can deal with it (i say this with uptmost respect and lets be real here. I will still eat up anything you post, I'm just being nosey)

are Mira and Bren going to make up? or is that like a background thing?

also will we see more of Mira and Drake (sorry i feel like im being extra nosey this time so just ignore these questions)

I gave a few hour warning this time!! I’ve been editing it for a week and I was over it lmao

Tecarus was a necessary evil for, like, one second, but Violet got what she needed and she wasn’t going to spend extra time entertaining him. And I wasn’t going to spend time writing drama with the fliers 😌

Drake is so FUNNY I love him, he’s an OC basically but if he ends up different in canon than I’ve imagined him I’m going to be irrationally upset. He’s just like “Xaden lighten up dude” and Xaden is going “please don’t ever look at my wife ever again” and Vi thinks it’s hilarious.

Mira has more thoughts about him than she lets on though 🙊 like she notices his attention for SURE

Sloane and Dain are so much fun (everyone say thank you @skyfallscotland for putting the idea in my head). Can’t wait to write more of them!! Violet is so offended though, like this is information she wanted to know?? And Xaden’s like it serves zero purpose?? Let her gossip idk

Re: imbuing yeah yeah that’s a thing for sure in canon, but I need sleep and a beta reader sooooo. . . pretend it happened at some point, I’ll go back later and add something in about that lmao 😁👍🏻

Lilith is back!!!! I have been waiting for Lilith to be back 😩 family drama next chapter, pray for Violet’s sanity. The venin are venin-ing, we gotta up the stakes a lil because we’re almost to the end

Nolon and Jack and their roles are still a bit up in the air, I’m still working out the specifics of what they’ll do. Mira & Brennan and Mira & Drake are also a toss up, but only because I want to write another one shot in this universe from Mira’s POV and I’m trying to decide what will make it on page in sitq and what I’ll save for that

Thank you as always babe!!!

[starl1tt]

im actually so pissed with the recent elimination. grett was the only person left that actually was fucking interesting, and the only person left who deserved to win.

if jake wins the season im actually never watching the show again. not because i hate jake or anything like that, but because of the massive amount of plot armor both he and connor have, that for some reason, people claim riya has, when it’s so obviously jake and connor.

there are so many instances where obviously jake should have gone home, but the writers saved his ass AGAIN. he should have been gone instead of james, and instead of ashley, and instead of grett. it sucks they’re eliminating all of the characters whose development and stories were actually interesting to watch, and keeping jake in for another episode.

it actually pisses me off sm how much the writers favor him, and how much the fandom babies him and infantilizes him, like that is actually a 26 year old man, but okay…

ppl will defend him even when he’s wrong.. and then there only excuse for all of it is “oh.. he’s just mentally ill! he probably has bpd 🥺”

okay? that should explain his actions but not excuse them? even JAKE acknowledges how he acted wasn’t okay when apologizing to Aiden and making it up to him. its the fact that i pointed this out and someone literally said i was “victim blaming” like what?? 😭

the infantilization of mlm characters needs to be a fucking scientific study like it REEKSS in here.

and i saw someone refer to ellie as an abuser? it is so blatantly you watched the show with your fucking eyes closed and you treat jake like he isn’t a grown ass adult and defend everything he does when really up until all stars he was the blandest character on his season. i didn’t give a fuck abt him on his season, but now that i’ve seen more of his character, i actually sort of like him.

does that mean i think he should win? HELL NO!!!

just because a character is a fan favorite doesn’t mean they should win.

AND CAN WE TALK ABT HOW CONNOR’S VA IS LITERALLY A WRITER ON THE SHOW? you can NOT convince me there isn’t an obvious bias here.

its actually becoming so frustrating to watch, so i think i’ll just find out who was eliminated but not watch the episodes anymore.

massive L on the writers.

[wendytestabrat]

why kyle is threatened by cartman

i’ve been thinking abt part of the reason WHY kyle has sooo much of an issue with cartman whenever he shows up or breathes or does basically anything. yes it’s also bc he’s jealous of him and gay for him but THERE’S A THIRD REASON TOO. it all comes down to the fact that kyle is a friendless loser as we’ve talked about. since it’s been shown that cartman knows how to make friends outside the group wayyy more easily than kyle and kyle pretty much only hangs out with stan & kenny all the time i think he just gets possessive of stan & kenny bc i mean they’re deadass the only friends he has so he doesn’t wanna lose them. so yeah OFC he gets threatened by cartman & jealous af when cartman knows how to rizz stan & kenny better than him and they have moments where they prefer to hang out with cartman and listen to him over kyle. he’s mad af that the person he ‘hates’ that’s mean to him and picks on him steals his friends away. i remember i was like this as a kid when i was an annoying fuck. i was never popular in school so then when i finally did make a friend it meant A LOT to me and i would try to hold onto that friend for dear life LOL. and i also HATED it when that friend would hang out with a bunch of people i didn’t like or people that were mean to me bc that would happen A LOT where i had a friend i got along with rlly well but then when other bitches were there they wouldn’t like me and i wouldn’t like them. but yeah i grew out of that shit as i got older and realized i was the problem bc if it’s rlly THAT hard to hold onto ONE FRIEND bc u can’t get along with anyone else then who’s the one to blame lol. bc tryna control your friends and getting all possessive of them and dictating who they can and can’t hang out with is toxic & immature (which kyle does all the time when he tries turning stan against cartman). i don’t do that shit anymore as an adult and if i ever encounter a situation where a friend i have gets along with or hangs out around someone i can’t stand i either just try to put up with it and get along with that person too or if it rlly becomes too much of a problem for me i’ll just stop being friends with that friend altogether. bc like that can DEF be a huge indication that someone is fake or two-faced & not a real friend anyway if they act one way with you but then a completely different person around a group of people and COMPLETELY change up their value system. so honestly as long as the friend knows how to be the SAME PERSON around both you and the person u hate that should be ok for me, it’s when they do that two-faced shit that’s the real dealbreaker. and honestly this is why kyle is such a victim bc like he doesn’t know how to make any other friends bc he’s so unlikable and like ik it’s hard for him to get away from cartman bc stan & kenny are friends with him too, but honestly he could just stop hanging out with stan & kenny then if it’s rlly such a problem, bc i mean stan & kenny have PLENTY of two faced moments where they side with cartman instead of kyle when he’s in the wrong or being a dick.

[pennyserenade]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well!! I’m not sure you’d like followers to respond to/ interact with your posts w your thoughts in the tags but I just wanted to say that I totally agree w your thoughts on Coryo and Sejanus LOL. Im v surprised (tho I guess I shouldn’t be given how old I am at this point + the no. of fandoms I’ve been in) that people can read them so differently from the novel. Coryo is an unreliable narrator and that makes it kind of fun to read because his pov shouldn’t always be taken as the truth. In fact I think it’s fun to read how differently his peers view him/ his r/s w other people vs what he himself perceives. Sejanus is such a nice, sweet boy and it’s kinda sad that other people don’t read him that way just because the book is filtered through coryo’s thoughts haha. He’s kind and dares to stand up for what he believes in… I think the saddest thing abt his story is that he was genuinely trying to help others directly but unfortunately the people he spoke to weren’t the most honest/ dependable (I don’t think the stuff with the rebels would have gone down well) and he also trusted Coryo (I don’t blame him cause Coryo was the only “nice” person in the Capitol) 😭 I suppose that’s also how difficult it is to deal w people sometimes IRL (in extreme situations). Anyway ya just wanted to share my thoughts :x feel free to ignore if this isn’t something you’re ok with!!

hi nonie! i'm absolutely okay with followers interacting with my tags and posts/coming to talk about this stuff with me! as you can probably tell i've got a lot to say about this stuff - i'm just a chronic in the tag poster lol.

because suzanne collins wrote the ballad of songbirds and snakes in a third person point of view, i think that readers have taken to assuming that what they're getting is an unbiased narrator, when in fact we are still very much getting a biased point of view from coriolanus. sure, we are distanced from his thoughts--not exactly seeing things through his eyes as we did with katniss--but that doesn't mean we don't have access to him and that his thoughts aren't distorting what we are seeing. i've thought a lot about the reasons suzanne collins might've chosen to use third person pov when she used a first person pov for the rest of the novels, and i don't think there was one definite reason. some of the brilliance of suzanne collins' writing lies in the fact that you do have derive these meanings for yourself at times. personally, i like to think that she chose to use third person pov because this story, while very much coriolanus-centric, belonged to characters like sejanus plinth and lucy gray, too.

the fact that this book came out during the trump's presidency isn't at all lost on me. i think what suzanne collins was saying was: look how badly this system failed this once privileged white boy. for all intents and purposes this should make him angry, and here are these district kids who have suffered just as he has. he can relate more to them than he can to any of his capital peers. he knows what it is to hunger and suffer and fight for your life every day, to be made to perform. when coriolanus turns his back on sejanus plinth and lucy gray baird, it is so tragic because he was meant to side with them and yet at the end of the day he turned his back on them because he wanted to be with 'his people.' he upheld this system that had so failed him because he thought people like lucy gray and sejanus plinth were primitive and less than because that's the mindless shit he had been fed his entire life. this is exactly what happened during that election. i've seen countless white people, who are every bit as poor and destitute as the immigrants that seek to come to this country for help -- if not more -- turn their back on them and support trump. even the poorest of whites think they are better than the richest of latinos or black people because this what their systems teach them, and it makes them feel good to think that.

i think that's why sejanus was district 2 turned capital. i believe that this was commentary on how, no matter how far poc and/or immigrants come, these white people will always view them as less than and that the system will never be forgiving of them. i do genuinely believe that coriolanus thought that sejanus' parents would save him in the end, and the fact that they couldn't was so shocking because he had, up until that point, seen the ways wealth had benefited plinth. he could not conceptualize a world where wealth wouldn't get a person what they wanted because he did not know what it was to be district. they did not see sejanus plinth, heir to the plinth fortune. they saw a district rat, a nameless, faceless traitor to kill. it is no surprise that coriolanus snow climbed to the top on the back of sejanus plinth tragic ending, because that's simply what happens every day.

i do understand and don't absolutely hate the conversations people have surrounding sejanus' privilege and what he chose to do with it/ what he chose not to do, but i think to consider sejanus an annoying, selfish character is erroneous. he was a boy who knew that this system would never favor him and was trying his best to envision a world where it might, and yes he did make stupid rash decisions, but at the end of the day what killed him was coriolanus snow and snow's desire for power. sejanus plinth was not stupid for trusting coriolanus snow, either; coriolanus snow was evil for betraying the boy's trust for his own self-serving agenda.

it is hard to live in a world like this. even as a white woman with a mexican father, i have have had to experience the kind of things sejanus did with people talking poorly about him and his family behind his back, and openly to his face. i am not accepted by either side and never will be, just as he wasn't. i will say i do experience immense privilege because of the color of my skin, and i won't ever pretend that i don't know that, but that's what i'm talking about: no matter how much i look like them, and act like them, i will always be a mexican's daughter and i am happy about that fact. i am mexican as much as i am white but it doesn't make the fight i have to struggle because of it any more fun.

[rosie-the-posie]

🩷🎀 My DR List 🎀🩷

below is a pretty very long list of all the drs i’ve made scripts for

lmk if any of you want some more detail of any of them, dw i have EXTENSIVE detail on everything babes

don’t judge pls 😖😖 this is a safe space…hopefully 🩷

Fame DRs :

Phantasmagoria DR: my main fame dr where i’m the lead singer in a band called Phantasmagoria w my friends. We’re like, really famous. Like more famous than Taylor Swift famous. And I go on to become a really famous writer/director as well. This is the dr i think about all the time, i fucking rule guys. NO BAD SONGS. NO CONTROVERSIES. ONLY GOOD VIBES AND GREAT MUSIC. ofc i’m an EGOT and pretty much revitalize the film industry single handedly. 😋😘

Heartstopper Cast DR: i’m a part of the cast of Heartstopper (an OC named Vivienne Green - Harry’s sister - who’s besties with the group, helps Elle when she transfers school, and is Pansexual and eventually gets in a polycule). I’m honestly so cool in this one. I have my SHIT together at 19, like, it’s crazy. I’m dating Kit Connor cuz why not, and I eventually become one of the best actors of my generation no biggie 🤷🏻‍♀️

Harry DR 1: yes, I have more than one dr where i’m dating harry styles, who can blame me. I’m a songwriter that met Harry in his 1D days and became one of the band’s main songwriters. We became best friends after that and stayed close. We both become extremely famous in our respective areas in the music industry and are the power couple

Harry DR 2: this one came to me in a literal dream. I’m Harry’s secret fiance that literally no one knows about. My job is solving and rating puzzles (don’t ask me why idk either). I get pretty famous on tik tok for being one of those satisfying accs that people followed during the pandemic yk? Anyways, there’s this whole thing where I’m invited onto the Late Late Show to talk abt my job (Ellen style) and everyone loves me. Harry is just there ig

Harry DR 3 (LAST ONE): OK SO DONT JUDGE ME W THIS ONE. LET ME LIVE. so, basically, I’m Harry’s secret wife and - stay with me here - we have 6 children together. I really only wanted to go here bc I noticed how many tattoos he had of peoples names and i thought, hey, what if those were his kids’ names that he has tattooed on him and no one knows? like, why not? so this is a purely self-indulgent dr where I’m just living the domestic life with Harry Styles and our brood of children. this may or may not have been influenced by a fanfiction series i read

Hozier DR: in this one, I’m Mr. Andrew Hozier-Byrne’s girlfriend who lives with him in the Irish countryside. I’m a seamstress who has my own clothing brand. Think dresses to run through a field of flowers in, or to slowly decompose in a lake littered with petals yk? I end up making the dresses for the Folklore stretch of the Era’s tour. not to brag or anything hehe

MGG DR: I’m dating the one, the only, Matthew Gray Gubler. I just thought it would be really funny and interesting to go to a reality where him and I are pretty much polar opposites. I’m an ex-ballerina who still practices, so I have that grace and elegance around me. I love to dress in dark neutrals all year round. For my job, I’m a famous published horror author. I have an rbf and a WRY sense of humor. Literally black cat aesthetic to the max. And then there’s Matthew who’s a ball of sunshine compressed into colorful grandpa clothes. honestly i love this one

Tom Holland DR: okay so this one is from my Spider-Man phase. But i actually love it so much. I play Felicia Hardy in the Spider-Man films, who is as much of a love interest as MJ in this reality. Tom and I actually grew up together since I would always vacation at my aunt’s house in the UK who was also neighbors to the Hollands. We’ve always ‘hated’ each other growing up (when really we were closer to each other than anyone else) and so when we started working together on the Spider-Man movies, all those underlying feelings started coming to the surface

The Joes DR: Okay, so. In this one, I play Chrissy Cunningham in Stranger Things. Her character is actually a lot different than in this reality where she’s actually secretly dating Eddie Munson behind Jason’s back. She doesn’t die, her friend Angie does, so Eddie and Chrissy join the party to save the world n stuff. Basically, Joe Quinn (his name is Thomas in this reality) and I got really close on set and are rly flirty hehe. And, to make it even better, we ALSO have a thing with Joe Keery as well (hence the name change to make my life easier). So we’re all a budding throuple and we kinda try to sneak that dynamic into the show hehe. note: certain actors aren’t poopy people in this reality and don’t support genocide 🙄) 

Hogwarts DRs:

Draco DR: this was my first ever dr! draco tok got me into shifting. I’m a gryffindor who’s friends w the golden trio. I transferred into Hogwarts in 4th year and pretty much just am there for the ride as the canon happens. I’m in a secret relationship w Draco (shocking ik) and he’s actually not a bad person. i obvi scripted out the supremist in him guys, dw. i actually have so much detail about all the ways we meet up behind everyone’s back and stuff. you never forget your first guys 🩷

Tom Riddle DR: AGAIN. BEAR WITH ME. ITS NOT BAD. basically Hogwarts is more of an elite rich kid college for wizards than a high school type place. BLOOD SUPREMACY DOESNT EXIST. But there is a whole powerful family hierarchy. kind of like a mob family thing??Instead of Slytherins being the ones most likely to be death eaters, they’re the ones most likely to be from those more powerful families. The Riddles are one of the most powerful families (and rich bc sorry but i’m not dating a poor orphan guys). I’m a Gryffindor who transfers in and becomes besties with the Slytherin group (Theo, Enzo, Mattheo -i’m a mattheo truther, never matthew- Blaise, Pansy, and Draco). Anyways, I fall for Tommy bc of his whole dark and broody best friend’s older brother thing he has going on.

MCU DRs:

Peter Parker DR 1: i’m obsessed w the idea of being genius buddies w Peter Parker and eventually taking over SI, so this is that. We’ve been best friends and neighbors since we were little, and got bit by spiders at the same time. I’m Silk, and we fight crime tgt. We’re both geniuses and go to Midtown together. When we meet Tony Stark, him and Pepper pretty much take us under their wings and we become their heirs to SI. We revolutionize the tech industry before we even graduate high school, we’re that smart. example: we build a water filter that we use to completely clean the Hudson River. we create inter-dimensional communication to talk w the other spidey gang after we get sucked into a rift and meet miles. on like a random tuesday too. I absolutely love this one, i put SO MUCH DETAIL into this script it’s actually insane.

Peter Parker DR 2: My first Peter dr that i made, but kind of abandoned. Him and I have an enemies to loves relationship bc after talking w Ned, he thinks the way to attract me is to act as if he doesn’t care about me 🙄. these dumbasses. anyways, i’m Tony’s adoptive daughter who he rescued from these evil scientists who gave me powers n stuff. it was a pretty cool concept when i first thought of this reality. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Stucky DR: Takes place in the 1940s at first, bc I’m best friends and eventually dating Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. The three of us are a force to be reckoned with guys. I’m super fucking smart, Steve is super fucking stubborn, and Bucky is super fucking protective. So, chaos basically. I’m really interested in science and am offered a spot to work on the super soldier serum by Howard Stark. Canon events become canon, I create SHIELD with my besties Howie and Peggy, Howie tells me he’d been working on cryogenics but needs a volunteer to test it, so I agree. I wake up in 2017, after the Civil War was actually dealt with civilly and am reunited with my loves in the present time. One of my favorites that I ever scripted out. 🩷

Misc. DRs:

Peaky Blinders DR: I was a nurse during the war that took care of Tommy and his brothers, and him and I became really close and fell in love. We reconnected a couple of years after the war ended, and I basically become his right hand when it comes to all the Peaky business. He trusts me more than anyone else because we’re both ass over tits in LOVE with each other. Like, yall don’t understand how in love we are. Also, you know that scene of Elle Woods pulling up to Harvard in a full pink outfit? Literally me every single day. Me in my lil pink blazer and skirt sets and the brightest fucking smile on my face making everyone confused why tf someone is as happy as i am in birmingham of all places. Everyone thinks i’m ditzy and just Tommy’s arm candy when rly im the smartest person in the room at all times. i just love to manipulate people into thinking im harmless and then learning all their secrets 🩷🩷🎀

Haikyu DR: i’m the manager of Karasuno that takes over for Kiyoko. I’m the granddaughter of Nekoma’s coach, so i know all about the game and play just as good as the players. Just because those 4 minutes of him had me licking the screen, i’m Kiyoomi Sakusa’s girlfriend. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ITS CRAZY. we have a whole friend group with Ushijima, Tendo, Iizuna, Komori, and Atsumu. Imagine the chaos that group brings everywhere. It’s such a fun dr, i should really revisit it more often.

Lloyd Hansen DR: i watched the gray man and this man with his white pants and pornstache burrowed his way into my heart. pretty much im his ditzy lil girlfriend who he adores and just skips around the place in pink and he spoils endlessly. 🩷

Mafia DR: didn’t really flesh this one out, but the gist is that i meet this guy in college and he turns out to be a part of the mob. 🤷🏻‍♀️ and so yeah.

Whore DR: yes, I have a whore dr. hehe. don’t judge me but like, a reality where slut shaming doesn’t exist and you can live out your horniest fantasies w/o any judgement whatsoever. bc that’s completely normal. 😋😋

Sunny DR: this is a better cr one, where i’m pretty much just really fucking smart and in a FANTASTIC AND LOVING relationship with this guy named Peter. He sadly doesn’t exist in this reality 😞😞. But he’s literally the sweetest ever and he’s blond, so I call him Sunny. Like, my sunshine boy ☀️. Literally everything i want in like, a mundane life is in this reality. also, for no other reason than i think it’s so funny, peter happens to be the son of one of my teachers in school. Why? i have no fucking clue 😭😭. like, i go to his house to meet his dad and he’s my fucking history teacher. it’s mortifying but absolutely fucking hilarious.

Criminal Minds DR: i join the BAU after Emily’s whole arc where she dips, and everyone but Hotch and Spencer are a bit prickly with me. I’m best friends and eventually get into a friends with benefits relationship with him (which is so out of character it’s crazy, but let me live). We obvi get our shit together and just start dating and become a power couple hehe

Deity DR: literally thought of this 2 days ago 😭. most of the details are on my prev posts, so you can check those out

Narnia DR: last but not least, I’m a human who was transported to Narnia a few years after the Pevensies saved Narnia from the White Witch. However, I’m instead sent to a nearby country where they take me in and basically make me their crowned princess. After a couple of years, I meet and fall in love w Edmund Pevensie. All Hail Queen Rosemary the Radiant. 🩷

THIS SHIT IS SO LONG TF. I DIDNT REALIZE HOW MANY SCRIPTS I MADE 😭😭😭😭

anyways, if you read all of this i love you 🩷

thanks to @luvieshifts for giving me the motivation to write all of this out

OKAY IM GOING TO SLEEP NOW GN POOKIE BEARS

you are the universe and more, babes 🎀

[compassionatereminders]

hi it’s the lonely anon that was expressing frustration abt how i react when my partner responds to me being upset;

to the people who commented on it i just wanted to say he’s not like that about everything. it’s right that using my own name as a way to identify a ‘negative’ trait is unkind and unfair to me. i’m gonna talk to him about that in depth— thank you to the person who’d mentioned that! i never could identify why it felt so upsetting or made me feel like such a child.

he really is a lovely wonderful person who’s made me feel beautiful & who’s been my safe place through a lot. he thinks im awesome, and beautiful, and smart as hell. almost every morning he makes me breakfast and every time i am being quiet or sad he’ll spin me around until i laugh. every time i get dressed he says “wow!” like it’s the first time he’s ever seen me. he’s a big reason why i have finally been able to admit that i am smart, and why i’m doing so much better.

we’ve been together almost 3 years and he’s expressed that he’s exhausted and hurt by how much i hate on myself. hearing the person you love constantly talk shit about themselves is heartbreaking and hard to deal with. i think part of this loop and why he can’t empathize any more is because i am so quick to assign myself the blame for every bad thing. i can’t expect anyone to not be exhausted from hearing me describe myself so poorly when to them i’m nothing like that. i’m trying to become better, but it’s still really difficult to love myself on my own.

empathy is a skill that’s sorely under taught, and he’s working on it as much as i’m working on my anxiety and negativity with it. we’ve come a long way together, but our lives were very different! it’s okay that things sometimes don’t mesh. not saying it’s ok to make your partner feel dismissed or unheard or turn their name into something negative, but everything’s multifaceted. i love him so fucking much.

i just needed to get my side of it out because it’s still hard and i’ve been holding onto it for so long that i just wanted someone to say i’m not crazy to feel this way. there’s always a bigger picture, and i’m thankful for different perspectives! i still maintain how i felt, but i can recognize my part in it too.

thank you for being so kind kat. i really hope i can see things the way you do & again thank you for hosting this blog. it’s so important to me and i’m sure a lot of other people too. <3

I am really happy and relieved to hear that there are also a lot of positive aspects to this relationship, and being frustrated with a partners self hatred isn't inherently toxic. But once it moves from communicating needs and boundaries to refusing to engage with your partners emotional struggles at all, then that's something which should be worked on. And part of that work is on you, if you do have a pattern of self hatred and irrational paranoia which is hurting your loved ones. But you having mental health struggles which are hard for him to deal with does not mean that he gets to dismiss your pain and emotions. Like you gotta look for a middle ground where both of you are working to find ways to make this situation more manageable for both of you

[imaginespazzi]

CHAPPTTTERRR NINI YAYAYAAY

- NIVI BBY i’ve missed you so so so much! i hope your vacation was fabtastic 💛

- “TW: Explicit Sexual Content” AHHH I BET UR LITTLE FREAKY ANONS SRE JUMPING WJTB JOY RN

- DAMN KK SIDED WITH DAD. i don’t like conflict this is making me sad

- THEM SAYING IT IN SYNC GOD 😭

- “I wouldn’t have cared,” Paige shrugs, “running suicides would have been worth it for an extra hour with you.” bitch, it’s suicide awareness month aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?

- AHHH SHE TOLD HER SHES GETTING THE DIVORCE!!?!!! Why are these freaks not confessing love rn

- “She’s confused when Azzi flinches, like a memory has just pinched her nerves.” THE PHONE CALL???? PAIGE RLLY DOESNT REMEMBER

- THESE BITCHES FUCKED??? yay them BUT YALL PLEASE COMMUNICATE

- OKAY BACJ TO THE NOW EEEEKK!!! don’t be shy paige go join azzi 🤗

- AWWW AZZI RIGHT YHERE READY TO KNOCK

- paige is a little freak with her short response… bitch say what u rlly want 😛😁

- S

- L

- U

- T

- S

- took them long enough

- “She’s always known exactly how to get Paige to shut the fuck up.” i laughed out loud

- “But there’s a part of Paige that had thought that there was no way Azzi could have missed her as much as she missed Azzi. Because missing Azzi had felt all consuming, like there was a constant noose around her neck that got tighter and tighter with every day that passed by” only you would turn them fucking into me being all sad

- stop azzi 🥹☹️ you’re gorgeous girl

- why the fuck am i crying rn.

- paige possessive little shit

- stop the left but you came back for the book joking around is actually making me cry because it’s literally them.

- STOP AZZI SAYING PAIGE ISNT HER DIRTY LITTLE SECRET🥹🥹 I JUST KNOW PAIGE NEEDED TO HEAR THAT

- “KATIE STOP LEAVE THEM ALONE

- The party,” Stephie cries out, “first you went to a party without me and then you had a sleepover without me. I can’t bel-ieve you guys would do that to me. Don’t you guys love me at all?” BYE IM CACKLING WHY IS STEPHIE ME… saying, oh so you hate me is my life motto😭😭 poor girl just wants a sleepover with her paige

- stephie really has paige wrapped around her finger azzi is gonna have to wrap her mouth in tape

- SLEEPOVER PT. 2?!?! where is paige sleeping is the question

- UGH LOVED THE NEW CHAPTER SO GOODDDD

- i am actually dying to find out more abt there actual break up

- ig my main question is abt like kk being upset with azzi was that her just being defensive of paige or has azzi not been talking to the others much?

-hey i finally stayed away from my cliff 🤞🤞

- sorry to say i don’t have rlly have questions and the short reactions today im so exhausted lol, HOWEVER im sorry happy you’re back and as always you’re my favorite evil genius

ily

🤩🤩

- BESTIE I LOVE YOU <3

- Lmao hopefully I've satisfied all the horniness now

- I am being nice to you....later in the chapter

- Ah you're the only person who caught that so far I think or at least who's told me they caught it. But no she does not in fact remember.

- LMAO the s l u t s killed me but yeah just a little bit. I mean can you blame them?

- Listen I couldn't make it all hot and sexy because I fear that's just not me so instead we got sappy emotional sex because you know it's me and that's all I know how to write

- Stephie's so valid for being upset like they really had a whole night without her and she's supposed to be their baby. #FreeHer

- There's been a couple of references but Azzi has actively avoided a lot of reunions and such so KK's anger is mainly from a place of missing her, not necessarily siding with Paige.

[patito-oward]

Knew I loved hitch, Rossi, and thim since the “would you bang an alien debacle” and I’m glad to see I was right abt them

That fear is really real though I love Sargeant but his Florida-ness threw me off and I was worried I was going to learn some bad things abt him but (especially with how he interacts with fans) he seems like a sweet guy

wait i’m glad you brought up fan interactions because i’ve been wanting to talk about this for a minute, and haven’t gotten around to it but since you brought it up. i don’t blame drivers for the way they interact with fans and make that an overall measure of their character.

(now there could be some exceptions to this if a driver is being super rude to fans but let’s talk in a general sense)

alex literally almost hit me with his golf cart in the garages on carb day while trying to escape fans, and i fully support him, and if you had seen it you would have to. so he’s getting ready to go out for the pit stop challenge and he’s one of the first cars, so he does not have a lot of time to get back to the pits. well he walks out of a garage, gets to his golf cart, signs 2 things, and all of a sudden there’s a line of at least 15 people forming, and he bee lines out of there. there’s an entire month where the drivers are basically forced to live at the track, and everytime they leave a secure area have fans crowding them, they literally can’t leave the garages to pee a lot of times (rossi said he carries around water bottles to pee in)

the complete opposite of alex is pato, who will stop and take pictures for every fan, and the way fans treat him honestly makes me sick. do not get me wrong i also want signatures and pictures with drivers and i do ask for and take them, (you can literally hear me ask hinch to sign my bobble head in the carb day live ep 🫣) but there’s a level of respect you have to give. also on carb day pato came out for the pit stop challenge at the same time as rossi but he was one of the last cars going, so he had extra time and stood and signed and took pictures with 30 people, i literally left before him. and pato is so sweet and great with his fans and that is awesome and as a fan i love it.

what i don’t love is seeing that when doing a grid walk every other car is just and no one even thinks about touching it, and pato’s car has to be roped off with people standing around making sure no one touches the car. all of the drivers have golf carts or scooters and most of them just park them by the door to their garages and walk in and out freely, pato has to park his scooter in a roped off area by a door to make sure no one messes with him or his scooter. pato has to walk out of the garages with body guards (not really but someone is always with him). it is just ridiculous that he gives so much and people insist on taking more.

so this is my PSA to all fans of all drivers to learn time and place. if a driver looks in a rush, head up, not paying attention to people calling them names, has somewhere to be, leave them alone! if you get the privilege of going into a secured area, look with your eyes not your hands, take pictures of the cars and appreciate you’re so close to them, do not try to climb on the cars. if a driver decides they want to be in the crowd interacting with fans that is not an invitation to touch them!! they are people too and at the end of the day they’re just doing their job, how would you like it if everytime you did your job you had people screaming at you, touching you/your equipment, and slowing you down, you wouldn’t.

[dontttmindmeeeeee]

birdflash [shock]

I have been thinking about these for a couple of years and now I wish to put my pain upon you.

counting spoilers

[1] the slowburn *eats bars*

you CANNOT tell me this never happen. Who fell first? For me it’d be Wally sense he can love so much (about TOO much) and yk, Dick was raised by Bruce so yk.. pulling the mess that Young justice is, I feel like that’s when Dick had feelings for Wally. But Wally did try to move on and Artemis was a perfect distraction (not that Wally never loved her. He did, I find the ship quite cute but it ain’t my #1). Roy is sick and TIRED of seeing them pin for each other but they’re too blind to see. (😭) ofc, Wally “moved” on but Dick couldn’t quite do the same.. NOW

Edit: Bruce and Barry know each other and each other’s identity, don’t tell me why but it feels right and I’ve had this HC for so long.

[2] Wally’s death. (My personal hate.)

WALLY DIES. And he dies right after he and Dick fight. Dick ofc blames himself sense that’s HIS best friend and HIS long crush. He blames himself for not taking Wally sooner. He blames himself for not checking the outcomes that could’ve come so that they could’ve saved Wally. He blames himself for fighting Wally. He blames himself for basically everything that he couldn’t really change. (Other than confessing yk..) in the show it doesn’t even show anything ?? (Which sucks sense that’s literally his BEST FRIEND. Even platonic would’ve been fine. 🙄😒)

[3] Wally coming back.

My personally favorite, Wally coming back? Yes please. I’m not gonna get TOO much into it, might make another whole thing abt that BUT just so you know it was totally unpredictable and may be Bart’s fault.. (Wally was never mean to Bart, I REFUSE to think so. I also think he can talk super fast (and hear) but he’s also slow (not like comics)) but he meant well sense he literally brought him back

[4] the process of coming back.

noww, I think the flash family would kinda hide him, you might ask why? Let me tell you. That’s their Wally and he’s been gone for gods know long. (I don’t keep time well) and ofc, even in the speedthingy (forgot the name) he aged, sense that also confuse me. But yk, they hide him. But they can’t hide anything from Batman sense well.. HE’S BATMAN. So, when he show up (Wally) he’s super confused sense, new team?? New people?? Where his friends?? Where’s the mountain?? (Let’s say that if it was already destroyed before he left.. it wasn’t and I’m making HC, okay?) and yk, a lot of confusion.

[5] the meeting/reunion

Wally is just standing on Barry’s league chair while he and Bruce argue with each other. He’s bored Af but Barry told him to stay so he’ll listen. (For now.) that is until he hears a sharp breath and sense that someone is there. He turns around and sees Dick. Huh. Dick was there? (Loading screen appears right on his face) DICK WAS THERE?? He speed right there and jumps to give him a hug. “Dick!!” he yells excitedly and hugs him tightly. Dick literally has tears into his eyes (but has his mask so they don’t rlly see it) but hugs Wally back! They stay like that for a long time. On the ground. Hugging. I feel like Wally never had anyone with him and was always alone, how he hasn’t gotten crazy? Bro idk 🤷‍♀️

I’ll do another part with more but rn Im running out of time so like, yeah!! I’ll see you in the other part

[celestialmancer]

☁️ // 3:04 am, tbd ;

More low filter bs

Kind of wonder sometimes if I’d feel as much shame as I do towards rambling off abt nsfw ish or nsfw topics w my ocs or doing ramblings of that sort involving them if it weren’t for the… things I went through + the way I had to deal with being shamed due to the trauma responses I ended up with as a result of said experiences ig

& also if it hadn’t been for the ex friend of mine who was emotionally abusive to me for 4 years (i met her @ 13/14 & she was 21/22) & and anti-lgbt obsessive religious freak as well, seeing how she. Always was towards me about anything nsfw related? Like I remember she used to obsessively fixate on how engaging in any of those things meant you were disgusting & sinful & letting the devil influence you, & how anyone who wrote or hc’ed or drew or rp’ed nsfw stuff was ppl who were disgusting or sinful & “wasting their talent on things the devil wants”

Along w how. Victim blame-y she was w matters of sexual harassment or worse

(…which all those things were… the worst possible thing to be around given what i was going through w/ M & other freaks online at t the time that i wont elaborate on)

& just. Idk. I know that while ive mostly reprocessed everything w her & how she was to where it doesn’t rly phase me to talk abt anymore, it doesn’t change the impact it left on me where I guess it played a role in how i’ve like. Always seen myself whenever i do wanna muse on more nsfw stuff w my ocs or rp or create nsfw content w them (& well other things online that were ✨traumatic ✨ that i wont say just kinda fueled all that even worse along w bs from religion in general & also—from how ppl reacted to trauma responses i had )

Always there’s shame in sorta approaching that for this reason—mind you its not the only reason, there’s a lot more to it, but still

& ig that might be another factor why i struggle to feel comfortable w approaching anyone i trust for anything nsfw related w ocs? & just leave it to others to approach me instead if they want so that way i dont feel like im being viewed in some neg way that im not, all over tryna approach over something like that, ig

I p much need an explicit “u can approach me abt this anytime” type of deal wrt nsfw oc stuff or else i just simply do not 💀 once again w the “needs explicitly being told x thing is fine or invited to do x thing or else i will not” that follows me in a lot of things wfsvdg just general self suppression? Ig

(Now admittedly, again, there’s more reason to why i do that other than just religion & a lot of it is an intense fear of accidentally crossing a line & also coming off a bad way + like, other things, that are deeply personal, but still)

…Ironic that im that way considering the spaces i have w friends & all but yeah.

But still. Idk. Ig i just wonder if id struggle w feeling ‘dirty’ or w/e still if it hadn’t been for that connection—probably still would all other things considered bc, ik those dirty feelings also—came from how ppl viewed me over, certain… things i went through & responses to it… but, maybe to a lesser degree or something … idk.

Had more to say but it slipped my mind, so.