#I’ve been offline for like 3 days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saetoru · 10 months ago

Text

this blog is now archived !! find my MASTERLIST here !!

hi guys, and here’s a long overdue post that i wanted to take the time to make after collecting as many screenshots as i can for a lot of rumors that i think need to be addressed. before i do that, i wanted to apologize to all of my mutuals who ended up wrongfully harassed in their inboxes for simply knowing me—the irony of this issue being about bullying all the while people on this app have been simultaneously being genuinely awful to other writers who have zero involvement has been ridiculous.

i would’ve made this post sooner, but december was very busy—as you all know, i’ve been working with two separate companies for my capstone projects, and i had final presentations with boards to worry about. and then a cruise which was fun, but i was offline. now that i’ve finally had time to enjoy my break and collect my thoughts, i’d like to voice my own side to the discourse i’m sure you’ve all seen posted by @/garoujo, who is now @/gojoath.

first and foremost, i’ve been on tumblr for almost 4 years now, and while i may not have the brightest moments on here (no one will be spot-free in that amount of time), i’d like to think that if i actually went out of my way to vicious or bully people, this would’ve come to people’s attention a lot sooner. i’ve had a relatively large following across all 6 of my blogs in my time here, and while i don’t like to get into the metrics of my blogs, the reason i point this out is because i have willingly started my blog over 6 times. 3 of these were sfw blogs under my nickname tee, another 2 of which were my previous nsfw blogs under a different alias, and saetoru which is the current one, where i finally decided to combine my sfw and nsfw writing into one space. i just wanted to bring that up because i had quite a habit of leaving and restarting blogs before this one, and had i been obsessed with outperforming other writers in terms of follower counts, i would not have left the previous ones as often as i did.

that being said, i’ll also go through a timeline of events and how they’ve snowballed into an issue that is not as one-sided as most of you might think. i’ve been mutuals with emmie since my first blog, and i’d been mutuals with her through most of her blogs as well. we’ve never really had issues until her last blog @/garoujo, which she’d started after deactivating @/atsymu due to discourse regarding racism accusations. the reason why we had a falling out was because i felt that there were a series of odd coincidences that felt slightly purposeful, but i was still questioning whether or not i was looking too deeply into it to actually point any of it out.

admittedly, when i saw her first set of banners, i felt our layouts were a slight bit similar, but i really didn’t mind too much because i had been planning to change my banners anyway because i was bored of them. so i took that as an opportunity to do so. it just so happened that within a day or two of every time i changed my banners, hers would be changed too—i never said i owned the color gray, and i even fully acknowledge that the last two sets of banners, at first glance, wouldn’t be a red flag. because, like i said, i was more uncomfortable with the pattern of coincidences than the actual layouts. then i switched to my instagram theme, and not long after, i noticed her add instagram story visuals to her navi. again, no one ever said instagram was my original idea, and that no one else could use it, but it was an unsettling feeling having the same moot continuously make changes around the same time as you, and changes that are different enough that you can’t exactly point out an issue, but slightly similar enough that you can’t exactly ignore the slight oddness.

coincidentally, the same day, another blog (who i will not name bc they’re not very active anymore and are also not very relevant to this story) made the same theme as me and i was a bit peeved because this same blog is someone who has copied a few other things from me and a handful of other moots, so i made a subpost on my moots-only personal blog at the time. keep in mind, i made this post fully aware that emmie was on this blog because i didn’t intend for that post to seem like it was about her. but she reached out to me, and i explained to her the situation, and i even provided the relevant screenshots to show my points. i still considered her a decently good friend at the time, and even with the slightly off feelings, i was still adamant about brushing them off and considering them coincidences that perhaps i was being a bit too critical of.

it wasn’t until i woke up a few hours later after changing my theme and going to bed that i noticed she’d then fully switched to the insta theme. again, instagram is an app used by millions and, at one point, was a very popular theme used amongst most people on this app. i’m not entitled enough to believe i was the first person to do it, but like i said. there are just off vibes most of us will not help but feel when a series of coincidences continue to happen back to back to back by the same person.

there were, amongst these things, a number of other small touches that made me feel off. most of them i don’t remember by now or have screenshots of, so i won’t bother to go into all of them, but for reference, one example i’d also like to point out that i’d had the phrase “you’ve reached the hanmas” in my inbox when she was still on @/atsymu, and sometime after, her sfw blog @/loveatsu had the phrase “you’ve reached the miyas.” small things like this are not things i make an issue over and am more than capable of brushing aside, but like i have said and will continue to push firmly is that i felt there were multiple instances of emmie, in particular, making small tweaks to her blog shortly after me that made me feel were not all coincidentally similar. the issue was never themes or thinking i am the first or only person to do something a certain way, the issue has always been me countless times feeling that one particular individual is exhibiting a behavior that is persistent and uncomfortable no matter how minuscule the instances may be. maybe they were really just unfortunate coincidences that happened with poor timing, or maybe they weren’t. but i stand by the fact that anyone in my shoes would be valid to question the timing of each of these events over and over again.

i would also like to bring up kinktober (though this happened a while after the rest of what i will get into) because this was the first public discourse that emmie and i got into due to an anon’s claims of similarities between our posts. i had received an anon who told me “i think someone copied your kinktober masterlist” which i answered to ask if they could let me know who. they had come back to say it was garoujo, and i did not reply to the ask, instead, i made a post to vaguely tell the anon that i appreciate them letting me know, but i will just leave it be and continue on with my kinktober regardless of emmie’s mlist. i do think there were some vague similarities, but honestly not enough to really question it, so i figured a confrontation or issue was not necessary. a while later, several moots had messaged me to let me know they had received anonymous asks saying to “block @/garoujo she copied @/sakusins and she’ll copy you too” (or something along those lines, i don’t remember exactly.) i myself was very confused (and upset) by the situation because i did not, and still would not, want to be publicly name-dropped in other people’s inboxes over issues that do not involve them. unfortunately, it led to some not-very-kind asks to both of us, and while i am sorry she had to deal with that, it is not an apology from a sense of culpability. that situation was, and still is, entirely out of my control. i would not have seen the masterlist unless the anon had mentioned it, and i did not take part in having people send asks about her to other writers. especially not in a manner that was pretty much social suicide for me as well.

(this is a poorly made collage i know lol but i hit the picture limit bear with me here.)

i would also like to point out that i am not the only individual who has had issues with emmie and feels she had copied them. although i cannot disclose urls (they have been blocked out for privacy reasons) here are a few conversations i have had with my own mutuals, and i would wager there are more people whom i haven’t talked to who also feel this way. they might be small enough instances that sparking issues over them was not worth it to all of these people, therefore she has never heard from people herself about this issue, but the point does still stand that this claim about emmie is not one i alone make, and is one that i have heard countless times before. her never being approached by these individuals for the sake of peace doesn’t erase that they have been, and are, upset by these events, and it’s a habit that she seems to continually partake in. i would also like to link this post where she has been called out by another writer while she was still atsymu, which was posted while we were still friends. i’ve actually had a discussion with emmie about that post, and at the time, i had quickly skimmed the post and felt it was perhaps a reach, but after my own experiences, i went back to reread the post and considered perhaps there was validity to it, and that this might not be a one time occurrence. plagiarism in manners such as this will always have conflicting opinions, and it is hard to sometimes tell if something is a coincidence, a popular and overused idea, or something that has actually been copied. my point is that a number of people have all felt that perhaps there is a good chance this was not an accident, and please consider that so many instances of people feeling this way might suggest that there is a certain degree of validity to the claim.

at the beginning of all of this, when the masterlist banners had first started bothering me, i was upset, and i chose to vent to an ex-moot of mine who most of you would recognize as munsonsins. abby has deactivated a long while ago, but she’s relevant to this because i had chosen to vent to her at the time, and this is more or less what later caused this situation to escalate. at the time of venting to her, i knew she wasn’t mutuals with emmie because, as you can see, she’d told me as such.

one thing i would like to point out is that there were a handful of people i had vented to about my frustrations with emmie, but one thing i had always been mindful of was ensuring these were a) individuals who i considered close friends and not just random individuals, and b) were not friends or moots with emmie in the event that i accidentally made people who she cared about think lesser of her. had abby been mutuals with emmie, i would not have shared my feelings, and once again, i was not loose-lipped enough to just tell anyone because they’d listen. i told abby in particular because i had felt we were sufficiently close individuals who talked one-on-one and were able to vent to each other. a bit after i vented to her, though, she befriended emmie, which i had no such issues with because abby was/is her own person and is an adult who can interact freely and befriend whoever she wanted/wants to.

not long after that, on the night before eid (this detail is relevant in the future) an ex moot of mine @/kazuwhora reached out to me. if you guys remember, there was a discourse last year that was all over dash about how writers on this app should be open to criticism. a lot of people (including me and kc) were upset by that sentiment—which is still valid. please don’t give constructive criticism to writers without their explicit permission !! but regardless, kc sent me a screenshot of a mutual of mine who had posted their opinion on this discourse, and their point was clearly that while constructive criticism is important in some aspects, writers do not have to be subject to receiving it should they not want to. unfortunately, i felt as if kc misunderstood what this individual was trying to say, and i was trying to explain it to her, but we got into a small argument over how we interpreted the post. i felt some of the things she was saying about this individual were inappropriate, and i had made it clear that i was very fond of this person, and it made me uncomfortable to be having this discussion. regardless of whether she saw my interpretation of the post or not, i wanted to drop the discussion, especially because it was the night before eid. eid is the one holiday i celebrate, and there are traditions i quite enjoy the night before, and i didn’t want them to be spoiled with a poor mood over a silly argument. unfortunately, she wasn’t very willing to drop the topic, and it ended up making me upset. so i posted this screenshot to my moots only personal from the conversation that consisted of my messages only and said, “tonight i had to explain what a debate is.” it was petty, perhaps, but very harmless, seeing as there was no context given and no names/pfps to indicate who the person was.

truthfully, i had vented separately to cat, eris, and abby about this argument because i was friends with the three of them at the time, but needless to say, venting to your friends about arguments is a universal action, and i believe it is something all of us have partaken in.

eventually, i decided to softblock emmie because i felt it would be more comfortable for me on my blog to do so. after a bit, i was informed of a subpost that seemed like it couldn’t be about anyone other than me—to make things clear, emmie subposting me was not my concern. i did not hold it against her because she is more than entitled to have her own feelings and vents on her own blog, but the thing that did concern me was that it seemed slightly evident that she was aware of my feelings when i had never explicitly had a conversation with her. it made me question who would tell her, and as you may have guessed, the only person with whom i had shared my concerns who could also be in contact with emmie was abby.

at the time, eris had also voiced concerns that they had trusted abby with the ending of the plot for the diluc series they were planning, and coincidentally, one of abby’s friends had posted a fic idea eerily similar to their concept, to which abby had been commenting and reblogging more brainstormed ideas under. all of these ideas were very close to the plans eris had for their series plot, and understandably, they felt that it was not a mere coincidence that their entire plot was being brainstormed on dash by a person who was fully aware of their outline. i’d voiced my concerns with believing that abby may have also been sharing things i trusted her with, and as a result we both had made a few vague subposts that we liked from each other—a petty behavior, i will admit, but not something that i think is very out of the norm for a lot of people on this app. sometimes, we all just want to vent out our frustrations, and because we all more or less use tumblr as an outlet, these can sometimes be vaguely taken to dash. it’s not something that is ideally recommended (i’ve learned the hard way) but it’s also ?? not exactly something that only i’m guilty of, or is even a rare behavior. i think to shoot down one person for this behavior is quite frankly hypocritical. again, subposting isn’t a habit i would like to push as mature but it’s something i’d like to point out is very normal in this community, and is not something only i take part in. beyond that, i take to ensuring that whenever i do, i’m not explicitly exposing who i’m talking about in order to keep them out of unnecessary issues.

after this conversation with eris, it kind of solidified in my mind that i did not want to trust abby with any more personal vents, or information, and i had ultimately decided to soft block her too. i had also decided to take the opportunity to softblock kc as well because i figured i might as well just remove individuals who i felt made me uncomfortable. this is, again, my right to do so to curate my own space. not long after, cat, eris, and i had been softblocked/hardblocked by a number of moots, and we were a bit confused, until cat ended up having a conversation with kc. many accusations were made about all three of us, more specifically, about me to kc by abby because the two of them had been discussing that they’d both been softblocked by me recently.

the list of accusations we were told of is as follows:

me, cat, and eris have a “burn book” where we “blacklist people.” it’s important to note that every time this discourse resurfaces (this is now the fourth time), the “burn book” has fundamentally changed in its composition—it has changed from a discord server “burn book”, to a google doc “burn book”, to the current rumor that it was an entire blog that was used as a “burn book.” it is consistently changed to fit whatever narrative is trying to be pushed, and regardless, the rumor itself is entirely untrue and has been addressed multiple times. cat has had a tumblr theme, a collab theme, and a server theme all dedicated to the film mean girls. she simply had a channel that was to share the urls of minors to block for interacting with nsfw works, or people who were anti-dark content—this is something that i have seen in all servers i’ve been in during my time on tumblr, and is not a new concept for many of you either. it’s simply a precaution a lot of servers take to warn writers about potential minors to block, and potential anti-dark content harassers. the name of this channel happened to be “the burn book” because it was a mean girls themed server, so the name just fit. nowhere in this channel were other writers in the community “blacklisted” or spoken negatively of, and here are the screenshots of the channel. this was simply something abby had twisted in order to paint us negatively. here is the link to cat’s post addressing it for proof and explanation (i run out of pictures or i would include them myself.)

abby also claimed that i was using this channel to talk poorly about kc and a handful of other moots. this is also false bc this server had several strangers (as it was cat’s server and i didn’t know all her moots), but it also had several of kc’s mutuals/friends in this server as well. i’m not so dense as to talk poorly about other writers publicly in a server, let alone a server i know has people who are friends with kc

now, this next part, emmie has conveniently painted out to be about me, as i apparently harassed and blacklisted people for liking itto from genshin impact, but i have been playing genshin for over a year on this app, and quite a large number of you are my own followers who see my rambles and my writing and i don’t have to explain that i have never written for itto, nor explicitly expressed an interest in him apart from perhaps one or two posts from back when i did his story quest. i never had, and still to this day, have no interest in the character itto. i’ve skipped his banner, i plan to skip his upcoming banners should they come, and i have never written for him, nor do i plan to write for him. this issue with itto is between eris and another individual, and i do not have the details to this, as i was new friends with eris at the time, and i’m no longer friends with eris as of current time. quite frankly, even if i knew the details, i wouldn’t go out of my way to share them because it has nothing to do with me. plain and simple.

as you can see, there were a number of rumors spread here to kc by abby, and as you can see, all of which led me to seem quite vicious in character. i’ve provided, to the best of my ability, screenshots and receipts of why each of these is quite drastically out of context and far from true to what abby has claimed.

i did in fact, after these events confront abby because i was genuinely appalled by the way she knowingly and purposely twisted things conveniently to villainize me. she expressed that she was upset and paranoid by the subposts that she figured were about her once i’d soft blocked her, so i apologized for the posts. she had conversations with both me and cat about the rumors she’d started, and she also apologized for them to both me and cat.

the rumors that emmie has claimed about me in her post, which she conveniently provided no evidence of, are all rumors that are more or less a result of my differences with abby and kc. unfortunately, despite cat trying her best to explain to kc the falseness of most of these rumors, she didn’t really believe them—which is her business. to each their own. i’m sure if i had been in kc’s shoes and in one night, someone i had considered a friend had been painted to do a series of nasty things behind my back, i also would not know what’s true and untrue, and she is entitled to piecing together what she believes is her truth. what’s not fair, however, is for emmie to have no involvement/understanding of these events apart from a twisted narrative she heard from one person and dog pile them into her claims of my behavior to further paint me as a villain. emmie is more than entitled to have her beliefs on my character based on her own experiences, which she has provided her own evidence of, but simply slapping an “and i heard she also….” does not necessarily make claims true, and is very manipulatively thrown into the post to add a list of things that make my character questionable to further validate her point.

not only this, but she has made a point to openly admit that she and her friends have collectively mocked me for my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who they have apparently labeled as my “fake” boyfriend that i used to get attention on this app. quite plainly, i get enough attention on my blog that i don’t need a fake boyfriend to amp that up. but furthermore, i am a south asian, muslim individual. my parents are immigrants with very strict religious and cultural beliefs that i feel are very restricting at times, and though i love my family, i struggle with my identity quite a bit as i live in a very western culture that clashes quite a bit with my cultural norms. i do not get to freely explore my sexuality or even romantic life in general, unlike some of you. my parents have been kept in the dark about my relationship because them knowing about it is something that could quite literally create a rift between us, and i find it very insulting and almost suspicious that a white girl is making a mockery of my cultural struggles and my personal life. many of you are either desi or muslim or simply children of strict immigrant parents with quite stubborn traditional views. i’m sure plenty of you understand where i’m coming from when i say that i have to keep my relationship hidden from the majority of the people around me. tumblr is the one place i can anonymously share bits and pieces of my life without worrying about if it will literally cost me my relationship with my parents, so sometimes i may have overshared silly or pointless things, but that is because it’s my own way of being able to express myself and my relationship the way i have always wanted to. apart from that, dragging and making a joke out of someone’s personal life is quite unnecessary in this case. the issue is about tumblr discourse, and i find it very hypocritical that i am being labeled a bully when people, more specifically a white and privileged individual, is plain and simple mocking and poking fun at my personal life and situation that i have no control of. that is my piece on that. whether some of you believe i had a partner or not is not my business, nor do i have to go out of my way to show you evidence of my personal life. what i will say, however, is that there are a handful of close friends i have on this app who are involved in my personal life and have seen evidence of my love life through pictures and private stories on social media. quite frankly, these are the only individuals who i have to justify the validity of my personal life to, and it’s honestly quite violating for someone to stoop to dragging someone’s outside life into issues about tumblr. i extend a very genuine fuck you to every single one of you that have ridiculed my personal relationship and just know that you are extremely bold to consider yourselves above bullying when this is the type of behavior you admit to engaging in. individuals with complex familial relationships, and identity struggles between cultural norms, their ethnicities, and the western world are not your playground to make a joke out of. some of us have very real struggles, such as not being able to pursue careers in favor of arranged marriages, not being able to pursue actual relationships that mean something to us due to a lack of familial approval, being forced to bear children at young ages due to familial pressure, and so on. they are not laughing matters, and are a part of my reality. and before some of you get started—yes, it really is that serious. i have struggled my entire life with having white girls poke fun and tease at my cultural norms, and i refuse to allow another white and privileged individual who already has a record of racially related discourse walk away with once more poking fun at my personal struggles and not be called out for it. i hope you had a good, long, satisfying laugh emmie.

onto my next points based on claims @/anantaru has made about me. the main thing i’d like to really point out here is that anantaru and i have never, not even once, interacted to the extent of my knowledge. they claim that cat and i cannot stand it when people cross us in numbers and that we go through people’s likes in order to find minors and blank blogs to explain all the notes. a) i am very bad at checking for minors and blanks in my own notes, so this is not even a logical approach on my end, but b) this claim is made because cat made this post under the tags of a post going around last year that asked to hear unpopular ficblr opinions.

what cat means to articulate here is that sometimes, when she is scrolling on dash and interacting with moots and their shit/talk-posts, she peeks at profiles she sees in the notes and has happened to catch minors lurking. cat, firstly, has never followed anantaru, so they are not a “victim” to cat glancing at their likes, but secondly, this is not nearly as psychotic as it’s painted out to be. cat is not, and was not, jealous of other blog's notes. quite plainly, she’s not exactly a tiny blog either, and she’s only stumbled upon minors in the talks-posts of moots, including me. shit-posts/talks-posts are easy to notice minors lurking on, and while most people recognize that it’s quite impossible to catch every minor and ageless blog in writing posts with numerous notes, a simple shit-post on dash is more simple, and her unpopular opinion was simply that blogs that grow rapidly need to be better about catching those minors because they are susceptible to having more of them lurking. it’s a really harmless sentiment, and she’s gently reminded me as well on more than one occasion to be more responsible about my habit of being lazy when scouting for minors in my interactions.

this is not out of jealousy, nor is it some sick and twisted habit she has to “explain” why people get more notes than she might get. it’s also out of a place of concern for her own content ?? i myself and plenty of other large blogs reblog from mutuals, and they are well within their right to be concerned that perhaps minors are lurking on our pages and interacting with works we reblog from our mutuals. cat has voiced this concern to me before, also out of goodwill and simple concern for my content, her content, and minors in general. there is simply no need to twist it into her viciously looking down upon large blogs and their notes counts and claiming they’re “only because they don’t block minors.” admittedly, though, i do need to be better about catching minors, and i have always appreciated her trying to keep me in the habit of being responsible about it. more importantly, it was a small passing comment under a post of unpopular opinions, a lot of them were hot takes, and this is hardly a serious one to get so heated over.

i’d also like to point out that anantaru has claimed we blocked them for being a gatekeeper and because we’re jealous of their notes. 💀. a) i am very grateful and very happy with the level of interaction i get on my writing, as more people than i imagine leave me countless comments and reblogs. i have never had an issue with comparing my interaction with that of other writers because i have always been abundantly content with the interaction i get. i have no other comment on this other than cat and i blocked anantaru at the same time because we happened to see a post of theirs reblogged onto our dash that made a joke that we felt was a bit insensitive to/alluded to SA—i’m sure it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, but it made us uncomfortable regardless. while we are both dark content supporters, and i myself have read more than one fic that includes noncon in particular, it doesn’t mean we have to like/enjoy everything related to it and we simply decided to block them. i’m not going to bring this post up bc it’s simply not important. they are an adult who is more than entitled to make jokes on their blog and cat and i do not have to like them !! we simply did what we were well within our rights to do, and that’s blocking them.

there’s more they go on to say about receiving hate asks and that apparently it’s because of our “group of friends.” cat and i don’t have a group of friends. i don’t have any group chats with her besides the one with her boyfriend because i get along with him sometimes as well, and we used to play genshin together a lot when i was in low ar. not that i have to explain my friendships here, but i quite literally do not have a group of people to “send after” anantaru because people are well aware of my close friends, who i text with my personal phone number. i’ve posted silly screenshots of convos on my blog multiple times, and none of these friends overlap because i do not have a “group” of friends, just individual friends who i talk to one on one. cat is not friends with my other friends, and my other friends are not friends with her. there are no inner circles that conspire together to send anyone hate because i “tell them to.” and if there are screenshots of me explicitly encouraging someone to send hate on anon, i would love to see it. if i had sent my anons after anantaru, it would have to be a public post, and i’m sure if there were a post of such nature, it would have been brought to light by now. they have also claimed they were given multiple urls of mine to block. i only have ONE writing blog, @/saetoru, and the only other two that are still up are archived blogs @/hanmine and @/katsuphilia, which are side blogs attached to saetoru and have been inactive for several months. there are however, multiple individuals on this app who also go by the name “tee,” and perhaps we have unfortunately been mixed up as the same person, but the only blog i have is saetoru, so there is no other active blog they have blocked me from that belonged to me and was able to harass them.

not only that, but anantaru has claimed that one person off anon sent them hate with a kaeya url which they insinuate to be me. once again, you are all more than aware of my history of urls, and many of you have all been here to see them. i’ve never once had a kaeya url, nor have i ever been particularly interested in kaeya outside of a small number of posts on a rare occasion. my genshin favorites have always been characters from sumeru and, at one point diluc, and once again i don’t have to ?? explain my selfships to you all ?? but literally, i have nothing to do with a kaeya blog or kaeya account, and im unsure why it’s being thrown into my name. quite frankly, i’m not sure what their moot has told them we have said about them, but the only conversations cat and i have ever had about anantaru was that one about the noncon joke, and that’s it. outside of that, there is literally no evidence of us speaking about this person because it simply doesn’t exist.

i implore you all to, instead of starting public discourse over things you hear, confirm them first. had anantaru reached out to me or cat and expressed that they are upset that we are supposedly spreading false rumors about them gatekeeping, then whatever misunderstanding it might have been could have been cleared. i would like to also point out that it is not above bullying when you simply dump numerous accusations that you have heard through half whispers from moots and provide 0 evidence for them. i am perfectly aware of why emmie may consider herself to have issues with me, but i have never had an encounter with anantaru, and truthfully, i’ve never actually even read their writing before. my main (and pretty much only) experience with them is seeing the joke i saw reblogged onto my dash, and as i stated earlier, the only thing i did for that was block and move one.

and lastly, the other point i’d like to make is that numerous blogs who i have been objectively very kind to have come out to take the opportunity to stomp on my character and reputation. for example, tumblr user @/osaemu, who used to follow me and interact with me quite often. i have always been excited to interact with her because she was really supportive of my gojo writing, and at one point, i had a small area of concern with her using the same exact title as me for a gojo fic. below are screenshots of our conversation regarding the titles.

i am quite confident that this is a very polite interaction, and i was very clear that i didn’t think that her writing elements, including gojo’s parent dynamics and his dynamics with the reader, were copied or even something that i felt she needed to change. i pointed them out as a way of indicating that between these parallels and between the fact that i know she reads my rb! gojo series, i find it difficult to believe that our fic titles being exactly the same is a coincidence, and it made me uncomfortable—my concern was not how she wrote gojo’s parents or his dynamic with reader. i never accused her of stealing ideas that were mine alone to use, all i simply wanted to do was shed light on the fact that based on these parallels, i figured the names being the same was a touch difficult for me to brush aside as a chance similarity. i was very clear to outline that i know these dynamics and themes in writing are generic, and that people can pull inspo from them because i have done the same thing. my only concern was the title, which i politely asked her to change, and she agreed. case closed. i have been, again objectively, quite kind to osaemu, and i had no intentions of blocking her like a moot had suggested because i felt it was a very silly issue to block over since she was very lovely to me.

i did, however, block her because she posted one-paragraph posts with multiple characters tagged. that’s not a crime on her end, and i’m certainly not here to police her posts in the tags, but as me and plenty of other people on this app have voiced multiple times, it is a bit irritating and feels like spam to see posts of these kinds in the tags so i blocked her. this is a very popular opinion and i refuse to be considered problematic for it. i am not here to police what constitutes an appropriate post to tag x reader tags on, and while i have made posts simply sharing my opinion on what i feel should and should not be tagged, osaemu is more than welcome to post whatever she feels she would like to into the tags. i do, however, block anyone who i come across who makes those kinds of posts because i simply don’t like them, and i don’t like seeing them. i don’t owe an explanation for why i block anyone, but seeing as i have been painted as some bitch for doing so, here is my reasoning. quite a lot of people agree on this sentiment, and to each their own, but i don’t enjoy seeing those posts. i did also unblock her at one point, as she mentioned. this is simply because a mutual of mine had voiced that they felt someone had copied the concept of their drabble, and i was helping them word a message to send, so i went back to this exact conversation to look back on what i said because it was a similar situation. as you know, blocking someone hides their dms from your dm list, so i had intended to temporarily unblock her just to see how i worded my message to help formulate a message for a mutual. there were no screenshots sent, i simply wanted to jog my memory of my points, that’s all. i did forget to block her again for a bit but eventually did, and that’s the extent of our interactions. i don’t recall posts telling people that i condone sending anons with death threats like she has claimed, and if she could point out the particular posts i have made where i encourage people to send anon death threats on my behalf, i would be more than happy to clear them up, or address them.

i have admittedly, on a few occasions said in my responses to anon hate itself, the phrase “kys” out of frustration, and there are i’m sure conflicting opinions on that, but i do not regularly use this phrase in my vocabulary. i have been on the receiving end of graphic sexual and violent asks in my inbox regarding me, my teenage sister, and my mother, during my time on here, and sometimes out of frustration i have said less than dignified things, but this is not a constant behavior, and frankly, i think once people make graphic, violent, and inappropriate comments about my 16 year old sister, saying “kys” in response is not the greater of the two evils. it is a tad bit hypocritical to expect benevolence from me to an anonymous hate ask just because there is “another person” at the end of the screen when they have not extended the same sentiment to me.

all of that being said, jumping on the trend to trample on someone while you have the opportunity to because you’re bitter they blocked you is also no better than bullying. apart from blocking osaemu, I have taken careful steps to always be respectful to her due to the very kind comments she’s left on my writing. leaving nice comments on my writing is deeply appreciated and welcome, but that doesn’t mean i have to subject myself to seeing posts i do not want to see on my dash on my phone. i pay for the phone bill, so i will cater my phone to show me what i want to see, and if that includes blocking a few people, i am allowed to do that !! i should not have to apologize for or be crucified for blocking someone and their feelings being hurt over it.

not only this, but several of you have somehow started a rumor that i am 26 or even pushing 30. that’s nowhere close to the truth. i’m 21, soon to be 22, and i have stated multiple times i am an undergraduate college student. of course, there is no timeline to college, and people of all ages complete their undergrad degrees, but i have made it a point to vent about my concerns numerous times that i am very stressed about taking extra classes every semester to compensate for changing my major late because i want to graduate on time. my graduation year is 2024 (as would make sense seeing as i will be 22 years old), and if you don’t believe me, i have celebrated my bday on april 12th of every year this blog has been active. you’re more than welcome to check my archive to see if that’s true, and for further reference, here is a picture i have sent to mods of servers i am in to be accepted. (note that my url used to be hanmas before saetoru.)

although there is no shame in being 26 or pushing 30, the reason why i wanted to address this is that i wanted to point out that yet another rumor has been fiercely pushed on my name and has been believed to be the truth. no one has to walk away from reading this post assuming that i’m a saint and i have never done anything wrong or that i have been faultless in differences i’ve had with other people. but a lot, if not all, of these claims are exaggerated with 0 evidence, and people have just run with claiming them as true. i physically cannot deny a large majority of these rumors with evidence or screenshots because half of them are made by people i have never interacted with or talked to, and i cannot produce evidence for interactions that never happened. i have seen blank, burner blogs post stories of their experiences with me, one in particular that claims i dm’d them to tell them their hanma fic was breathtaking before i harassed them about their theme, boyfriend, and parents. a) i do not dm anyone to compliment their fics because i am simply too shy to do that. i would have only reblogged the fic with comments if i enjoyed it. b) again, there is no evidence on their part, and i cannot dispel this story with evidence of my own because evidence of conversations that never took place does not exist. and c) i would like to think i do not come across as dense enough to attack someone in their dm’s viciously about their boyfriend and parents openly with my account, where they could easily spread the proof around if it had actually happened. i am not responsible for people’s internet literacy, and if people believe every story that is shared with not even a small piece of proof that it took place, i cannot do anything besides simply urge you all to formulate your opinions based on what you see, not based on what you hear.

i would also like to end things off with an apology to all of you—mainly because there was no reason for so many of you to be dragged into something that did not involve you and also because there are very disturbing and important issues going on right now in real-time in the world that are affecting a lot of people. i never want to be involved in something that takes attention off of important discussions such as genocide, and while many of you like to claim i am deflecting, i think it is quite telling that some people have posted nothing about something this important but have made multiple posts regarding discourse. i did not feel it was appropriate at that time to focus on discourse, and i still do not think so, but i wanted to leave off with my own statement.

i would also like to apologize if i have ever come across as unkind during an experience with me; it is never my intention to be that way purposely. i have a habit of being petty sometimes and can be a bit short-tempered, and it’s something i work on. with as large of a following as i have, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all than say it—however vaguely it might be. i hope some of you who also have larger followings keep that in mind so that you can avoid discourse erupting into something grand scale. please vent to people you trust and be wary of having a habit to subpost. but mainly, please remember that people trusting you with their feelings and troubles is not something you should take pride in spreading. there is nothing to be proud of about sharing people's private socials, urls, and conversations. while i am not always able to keep my temper under wraps, and while i have had my fair share of petty moments, i, to the best of my ability, have always made sure that i don’t come across as intentionally cruel or mean, nor have i purposely broken someone’s trust. sometimes i have retaliated back a bit fiercely, but i stand by the fact that i never purposely chased or drove anyone off, mocked or belittled them, or sent people over to dislike/hate them. i have at times vented to those who i believe are people i can trust, sure—but this is something we as people are all guilty of. there’s no way any of us can hold one person more accountable than others for partaking in closeted conversations that are never meant to get back to people and hurt them.

i genuinely loved, and still love, writing very much, and i have always appreciated every ask, every reblog, and every comment. writing is a hobby i am greatly passionate about, and it’s always a hobby i was very excited to share with people on here because i don’t get to share it with people irl. i don’t willingly tell people irl that i enjoy making elaborate plots about anime characters, and i have always been very excited to share that hobby with you all, whether you are a reader or writer. i’ve read fanfiction for a very long time before i ever decided to try my hand at writing it, and i would never want to knock other people down simply because they “surpassed” me. i enjoy finding writers to read from, especially those who write better than me, because they are where i draw the most inspiration and motivation from. the moots i look up to most are moots who are in my opinion, far stronger writers than me, and moots who i always firmly believe deserve much more reach than i do on their stories because they’re far more fleshed out and in-depth than anything i can produce. and i am proud of them !! and even those of you who feel you are stuck not getting as much reach as you would hope, i am proud also of all of you for picking up a google doc or pen and writing and trying, whether you choose to share it or not. i will always strongly encourage you all to try your hand at writing if you have ever considered it because i have genuinely built such a better sense of self-esteem when being able to incorporate pieces of myself in my stories and express parts of who i am—i think some of you might really enjoy the catharsis that writing brings, and if you ever debate on trying it out, please do !! you might become really passionate about it.

anyway, this post is abysmally long. none of it is to clear my name in hopes that i will be “un-canceled” (LOL) because i have decided saetoru is long overdue to be put to rest. i hope you can all, at the very least, allow other writers some peace and stop harassing them in their inboxes for knowing me (because that is also bullying and very ironic of you), and i hope you all got some sort of understanding of where i am coming from. if you think poorly of me, that’s okay. i have an opinion of myself, and the close people who surround me, that i am confident in, and while i may not have always handled things in the brightest of manners, i am well aware of what my intentions have always been.

i’m deeply grateful to all 41k of you, and thank you for reading my works and allowing me to write for you !! thank you for all the very, very kind asks that i never got a chance to fully answer each one of, and thank you especially for all the supportive comments and love on the writing i’ve posted. they might be silly fics you read once and moved on from, but they’re all pieces of me, my life, and things that are important to me, and as cringe and cheesy as it sounds, it means quite literally everything to me when people read them and take away something from them.

also, as a parting gift, i will be posting the nerd gojo, ex-convict geto, and a marriage rb! gojo fic to my ao3 (also saetoru) for those of you who have been patiently awaiting those wips to enjoy. please (a little more patiently) keep your eyes peeled for those <3 i will no longer be posting or active on saetoru, and in the event that i keep writing, it will be posted on my ao3, so you all will know where to find me !!

so for the last time, i love you my little runts !! wishing you all the best, and goodbye to my lil saetoru bestees.

mwah !!

— tee <3

ps. i also have turned off reblogs for this post and limited replies to people i follow only. a lot of you will jump to say that it’s simply because i am “hiding,” but it is solely because i have said my piece and i intend to move on. thank you and have a lovely day shawtee ✌🏽

#thanks to all my mutuals who have reached out !! i love you all #and i will miss you tons !!

897 notes · View notes

colubrina · 9 months ago

Note

idk if you have a TikTok or if you keep up with the HP fandom over there; but apparently manacled by SenLinYu was posted on Amazon for purchase (not by the author). It’s since been removed but was up for more than a couple days. And there were individuals on TikTok that just didnt understand why others were getting so upset. Like let’s disregard the fact that someone other than the original author profiting off this work, but I actually saw people that were very firm in the belief that they could sell fanfic. Whether that be through book binds, cases like this, or commissions/Patreon. I’m an elder gen Z, and I remember coming into the fanfiction spaces pretty early on maybe like 07-08?? I think I was 9-10 reading HP fics on fanfiction.net and very vividly remember everyone being super specific about “this is not my sandbox, I’m just playing around” or “If you recognize anything, it doesn’t belong to me”. So I’m always surprised by people that really don’t see a problem with it. I’ve even seen people claim that it will either fall within the limits of fair use or that it would be a PR nightmare for someone to go after someone. I guess I was 1.) just wanting to rant about how shortsighted I think it was to someone that was around in fanfic space before 2015 and 2.) get thoughts from an author that I feel like has had several popular/successful fics in the fandom.

Yeah, I've got a TikTok. I never post anything, but I try to share anything people make that's nice about my old fics. I always have this half-assed feeling like I should make things but I don't. (https://www.tiktok.com/@colubrina_)

2. Congrats to Senlinyu on her book deal - very cool!

3. And yeah, I saw that people were doing that, and I wish I was surprised but I'm not. There's always been a not-insignificant part of the dramione fandom that sees the fics as 'belonging to the fandom.' They will post them on sites where the author doesn't want them. They will host PDFs online even when you directly ask them not to. They will rehost fics authors have taken down, orphaning them on AO3 so they can't be stopped. They don't see it as stealing because they see the fics as public property. It was probably just a matter of time before they started trying to host them on Amazon. It's frustrating for sure, but it does feel a bit like 'here we go again.' It certainly doesn't fall under fair use, and I think Manacled might be one of the very few fics that will have a legal department eager to keep it offline so the publisher can make their money from it, but other people will be less fortunate. Fic has become enough of a part of the ecosystem it's not at any kind of risk as an artform. But, yeah, it sucks. Be nice to your authors. Respect their wishes. Don't do this shit.

158 notes · View notes

fluffybutt-7 · 2 months ago

Note

What's the thing you enjoy the most from your body of your actual weight??

Also if you want to answer. Any comments on you gains or weight gain from family or friends??

BTW that body is... 🤤🤤🤤

🙈🥰😈

Ohhhhhhmygod. Everything. The softness, the way my fingers just sink into my body wherever I press them. The heaviness… how much I spread out on the couch or in bed. How it feels to walk - like a big, wobbly blimp, or like you have sacks of pudding strapped to you… how fat my face has gotten, from a sharp jawline to a round, plush face. Hearing my floorboards creak (they’re old, but still haha). I love it all. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be fat, I dunno why. So every moment I’m fat and getting fatter… it’s just a dream come true 🥰🙈🤤🐷

Yeahhh not much comments these days, honestly. If I do get them it’s from my mom - she mainly worries about my joints, but also got super into the diet crazes of the 90s and is quite fatphobic. She hasn’t made comments about my body in a long time, but that took me finally standing up for myself to happen. Friends? It’s a mixed bag. Most are quite playful about it which I LOVE. I’m open about being a gainer and furry and such offline as well, and I’ve had coworkers pat my belly or friends offer their extras. When I was in college and gained 100lbs my freshman year (super fucking fun, loooved that), one of my music friends said that I got a Buddha belly and rubbed it for good luck - I 100% got a boner and had to try to hide it as we finished rehearsal. 😅🙈🥴

It was scary to be open about everything, but… what came after has been so wholesome and fulfilling and despite everything that’s happened the last few years I’m so happy with this little life of mine. 💖 Thank you for reaching out and being a part of it :3

#fluffybutt-7 #askthefluff #fluffstuff #I love being the fat friend #fatandhappy #fatten me up #fatboy for life

49 notes · View notes

vivid-dreamscapes · 4 months ago

Text

~♡~ Love’s captive duel ~♡~

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

7:00 PM. Wednesday night. Homework. At least, that’s what Katsuki Bakugou was stuck doing at this time.

In fucking fact, he had so much homework to get done tonight that he had decided for dinner he’d just have instant ramen. Which he was extremely pissy about, mumbling about how fuckin unhealthy this was.

At one point, when he was doing some of the online homework for Present Mic’s class, he got stuck on a problem. Which into made him MORE pissy. After a minute or two, he gave in and decided to text you. After all, you were the one who kept asking him homework questions. Time for him to cash in his reward.

Extra. Extra. EXTRA. Ffs, whatever you’re doing can’t be all that entertaining.

He waited, whistling slightly and staring up at the ceiling. Then he heard his phone buzz—he always kept it on silent in case Kirishima or that pink haired best friend of yours decided to go on one of they’re daily spamming sprees.

Busy, text someone else. Was your response. He rolled his eyes.

The hell are you so busy with?

Getting ready for a date.

Jealousy rose up in him, but he pushed it down. You? A date?

Bitch.

I CAN'T BELIEVE someone would even consider dating a dumbass like you.

Singular date, we’re not together.

Still, who in their right mind would want to go on a date with you?

This really cute guy named Kai.

What, like the guy who used Eri for bullets?

Shut up, of course not. He can burn in a ditch. Not even satan would let him into hell. This Kai is someone I’ve been talking to. Kinda like him.

Why do you like him? He's probably some scrawny loser that only wants things from you.

Psh, like what?

You do know how guys are, right?

Not all guys are the same.

I'm talking about teenage boys. We're all the same.

Fine I’ll bite. What do you think he wants?

The same thing every other teenage boy would want. Something perverted.

Not Kai.

Oh yeah? And how the hell do you know?

Cause he’s sweet. And nice and respectful. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a virgin cause he wanted to wait.

He's just playing you. Trust me, I know my own people.

So what, are you saying your perverted too?

NO I'M SAYING THAT ALMOST ALL TEENAGE BOYS TRY TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF GIRLS! WE'RE ALL PERVERTED, YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THAT!

…so you ARE perverted.

NO SHUT UP THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

You rolled your eyes at his reply as you stared at your phone screen. You stood up before posing in front of the full mirror and snapping a pic. After that, you started texting him again.

I’m off for my date. Fit check?

You sent him off the photo without a second though, fixing the outfit a bit.

He rolled his eyes as his phone buzzed with a notification from you for the umpteenth time. He just wanted to focus on his homework for fucks sake.

He picked it up and raised an eyebrow. Clicking on the notification, the light hits his face as he sees the photo. “…fucker.” He mumbled, before texting a response that you had pretty much expected.

You look like a freak.

You rolled your eyes with a small smirk. This dumbass.

I AM hoping to get freaky tonight, to perfect! I’m off! <3

And with that, you had gone offline.

He stared at his phone with an annoyed expression as you texted him that. He couldn’t believe you were doing this and with some random boy.

He put his phone down and went back to his homework, but somehow he just couldn’t focus. Images of that picture you sent him kept popping up in his mind.

“Damn it..why the hell do you have to be so hot?” He mumbled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The date had been last night. You hadn’t been at school all day today. At first Bakugou just thought you were sick.

But then Mina, your best friend, texted the class 1-A group chat, asking if anyone had seen you. According to her, you hadn’t been picking up your phone since around 9:00 last night.

Bakugou had watched as the chat got bombarded with people saying no. But the second Mina sent that text, he’d felt his heart drop.

“That doesn’t mean anything. There’s probably a logical explanation. Stop worrying so damn much.” He mumbled to himself and ran a hand through his hair. He stared at his phone. Waiting. Waiting for you to pop up in the chat saying you forgot to charge your phone or something.

One hour. Two hours. School was out and you hadn’t texted anybody. And he knew exactly who’s address he had to find.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As quickly as he could and as discreetly as he could manage, he was able to slip out of the school grounds and got to the front gates after 8:00. Which he was not happy about. Rip his sleep schedule. Making sure there was no one watching, he began running to the address he managed to dig up.

Thankfully, when he got there, it wasn’t that far. Standing in front of the place, he took a few breaths, not believing what he was about to do. He knocked on the door.

Barely even three seconds later, a teenaged boy with orange hair, grey eyes, and goat horns, ears, and a goat tail—his quirk—opened the door. Kai. The boy raised an eyebrow.

“Can I….help you?”

He paused. If Kai knew that this random blonde boy was looking for you, he surely wouldn’t let him in.

Bakugou put his hands in his pockets and tried to think of a believable excuse. It had to be a pretty goddamn good excuse if he wanted to get into the damn house.

Kai was eyeing him carefully, almost like he was assessing him.

“Uh…can I use your bathroom?”

God why was he so bad at this?

The goat boy just raised an eyebrow. The explosive boy noticed there was no cars in the driveway. Was Kai’s parents not home? That would make things kiiiinda easier.

Kai looked a little hesitant before eventually standing aside and letting him in. “Yea, it’s down the hall, first door on the right.” He pointed, and Bakugou mumbled a thanks, before beginning his search.

He looked around as subtlety as he could, making sure Kai didn’t notice. Where the hell was he supposed to start looking?

Start trying…closets? The basement? The attic? Kai’s bedroom? A possible guest bedroom?

The blonde boy walked down the hall and found the bathroom easily. He locked the door and waited a few minutes before flushing the toilet as if he actually used the bathroom.

He opened the bathroom door and peeked out to see if Kai was anywhere near. After making sure the coast was clear, he snuck down the hall.

He tried one of the doors. It was an office. The next one opened to a bedroom. Must be Kai’s parents.

He closed the door, tiptoed down the stairs, and turned to the basement door.

He opened the door and saw the dark staircase leading down into the basement. He slowly began walking down the steps. It creaked a little, but it wasn’t too loud. As he reached the bottom, he flicked on the light.

Suddenly light filled the room. As it revealed a whole game room. A pool table, couch, couple of chairs, and a big tv.

Bakugou began walking around the basement. That was when he heard it. Something that sent a shiver down his spine.

He had heard a thump, like someone kicking against something. But where? The basement didn’t seem to have a whole lotta hiding spaces, besides a few boxes, another small room, and a closet.

Another thump.

The blond’s eyes widened. That thump was definitely coming from the closet. He slowly began walking towards it.

He grabbed the handle and looked behind him to check if Kai was somehow watching. Once he was sure he was in the clear, he opened the door.

As the door opened, his eyes went wide as they fell on a sight he couldn’t believe.

There, sitting on the floor, with duct tape over your mouth and wrists tied in front of you, was …well, you. You had multiple bruises on your face.

Your outfit from the date was all tussled, along with your hair. Besides the cuts, bruises, and not so comforting mark wrapping around your neck, your eye had a black eye. Speaking of eyes, yours were closed. Not good.

Bakugou’s eyes widened at the sight. You looked like you’d been through hell and he’d been out here playing Sherlock Holmes.

He closed the door softly and rushed forward to kneel in front of you. He gently grabbed your chin, bringing your face up to look at him.

“Sssshit…” He quickly ripped the duct tape off your mouth. He took in your injuries and the mark on your neck, and then noticed the stab wound in your side. The red stains were bright against the clothing. The anger was bubbling up.

You weren’t waking up, but you weren’t dead. He could tell because he could see your chest moving, meaning you were breathing. Albeit in a shallow manner, but you were still breathing.

He quickly looked around through the closet, and noticed a few old sheets lying on the shelf above. “Damnit…why can’t the extra keep some damn first aid in a damn closet?”

He grabbed a few of the sheets and began tearing them into strips. Thank god for his sharp teeth or he’d be doing this forever. He gently grabbed your hand. “This might hurt a bit…but I’ll be quick.”

He quickly grabbed both of your wrists and, carefully, took out the pocket knife he had and cut through the rope. He grabbed your waist and began wrapping up the stab wound, careful not to touch it too much to avoid hurting you.

“God I’m gonna kill the damn extra that did this to you…” He gently touched your face and looked at your black eye and bruised lip. What had this monster done to you? Suddenly, he heard Kai’s voice from the top of the stairs.

“Everything okay down there?”

Bakugou quickly looked up after freezing. The maniac who had died this to you was probably starting to get suspicious.

Bakugou quickly draped his coat over you and shoved you behind a few larger boxes that were in the closet. “Uh…yeah! One of your damn boxes fell over and got me and my shoulder. Just cleaning up the mess.”

He prayed the excuse was believable.

“Okay…” There was a moment of silence before footsteps began descending the steps. Kai was coming into the basement. Damnit.

Bakugou stood up and closed the closet door. He hoped that leaving you behind a few boxes was enough for Kai to not notice. He leaned against the wall and put his hands in his pockets, acting as casual as he could manage.

“What the hell took you so long anyway?” The range haired boy asked as he came down the steps, walking into the area.

“The damn toilet was clogged.”

Kai chuckled and opened a random game cabinet before looking back at Bakugou. “I got a question for you.”

Bakugou tensed and internally groaned. This was definitely not gonna be a good question. “What?” He answered gruffly, trying really, really hard to keep his temper in check.

He wasn’t sure if the next few minutes determined wether he was about to fight this guy or not. But he didn’t let it show on his face.

”Why are you here?” Kai asked, tilting his head and looking over at the blonde with an eerie smile, taking something out of the cabinet and shoving it in his back pocket. Immediately, Bakugou narrowed his eyes.

“To use your damn bathroom.” He said simply as Kai walked over, hands in his pockets.

“Bullshit. The bathroom’s upstairs. Why you in my basement?”

“I was curious to see it.”

Kai reached Bakugou, standing in front of him. They were both the same height, both staring each other down, and both not backing down. The blonde furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes, the orange haired boy following.

“That’s a load of shit and you know it. You could have gone to the bathroom in any other house. Why here.”

“It was the closest and I didn’t wanna piss my pants. Do I gotta have another damn reason?”

“Why were you taking so long in the bathroom?”

“I hadd’a shit.” The blonde said, residing a taunting eyebrow with a smirk. “Ever thought of that?”

Kai narrowed his eyes. This fucker. He stepped closer and Bakugou’s smirk dropped. Did this goat boy suddenly seem…taller?

“Do you know the name Y/n L/n?”

“Never heard of it.”

“Funny.” Kai said, cocking his head with a small laugh. “Cause they mentioned you. Said they were in your class? You fucking class? Ain’t you a little liar.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened. Oh shit. This psychopath knew him. Meaning he probably had an idea of why he was here, and facades were going away.

Kai smirked and tilted his head, coming closer. Oh he was definitely subtly taller. “Oh, you scared? You nervous now little hero?”

“What do you want with them?” The blonde asked, hoping your captor wouldn’t realize that not only were you found, but unbound and hidden too.

“Some guy wanted to get his hands on ‘em. Some fuckin creep, all burned and crispy.” Kai said, tilting his head again. “You’d knkw who, right?”

“What are you implying bastard?” Bakugou asked, fists clenched in his pockets. Kai smirked and stepped closer, causing the blond to press himself up against the wall slightly.

“I’ll give you a hint. The guy who asked me to kidnap Y/n is the same fucking guy who helped kidnap you.”

Bakugou froze. That name alone made him feel his blood boil. Dabi. Someone he’d wanted to get his hands on for a loong time now. “Dabi….” He muttered the name angrily. His hands were shaking from how he held them in fists in his pockets.

Of all people? This had been him?? Why would he do this?

Bakugou took a deep breath, trying to control the anger bubbling inside him before he did something he might regret.

“How the hell does he know you? How do you know him?”

A question. A simple question. But he was demanding answers. Answers right now. He tried to stay calm, he really did.

Kai just laughed arrogantly and got closer, pressing the blonde further against the wall.

“Like I’d fucking tell you, little hero.”

That was it. That was the tipping point for Bakugou. Kai was right up in his face and this arrogant attitude of his was pissing him off. He’d heard enough.

“I. Said. How. The. Hell. Do. You. Know. Him.” He clenched his jaw, doing everything humanly possible to hold back from exploding.

“Your so fucking pathet-“ And that’s when the goat boy was met with a punch to the face.

All it took was one punch to send Kai stumbling backwards. Kai looked back up with a glare but before he could get up again, Bakugou was on him. He grabbed his shirt and pushed him against a wall.

He was fuming with anger but he tried to control himself as best as he could.

“You have 3 Goddamn seconds to tell me everything you know before I blow your face off.” He said through clenched teeth, a deep fury in his crimson eyes. The sparking hand in Kai’s face told him this guy wasn’t fucking around.

Kai let out a pained laugh, despite his growing nervousness. “What are you, They’re knight in shining armor? Fuckin simp.”

Bakugou was not happy with that answer.

With one hand pinning the orange haired bastard, he threw a strong punch to the stomach, hard enough that it would take the breath away from this extra.

“Try again.” He said in a tone that was more than just a warning.

Kai coughed and looked back up to meet the blondes angry gaze. “I- cough - don’t know much. Honest.”

“Not good enough.” Bakugou punched him in the stomach again. This guy just wasn’t getting it through his head. “Try. Again.” He had a hard grip on the guys shirt, and it sure as hell wasn’t loosening any time soon.

Kai grimaced. This bastard in front of him was not messing around and he could tell. The orange haired boy had to tread careful here. “He just needed me to do him a favor…”

“What goddamn favor?” His grip on the guys shirt got tighter, his knuckles turning white. He needed to get answers and he needed them now.

“Fuck man, ease up and I’ll tell ya.”

Bakugou almost growled. He was getting frustrated. Kai just wasn’t giving in that easy.

“Stop beating around the damn bush. He asked you to do something and you did it. Now what did he ask?!” The blonde wasn’t gonna let this bastard go until he got an answer. He took a deep breath and leaned closer so their faces were nearly touching. “I swear to God, if you don’t tell me everything you know about Dabi in the next ten seconds, you will know the wrath of a furious hero.”

Kai looked at him, placing a hand on the arm holding him to the wall. “Future hero. If even.” The boy said, reaching into his back pocket. Whatever he had grabbed from the game cabinet earlier was in there. He just needed and escape route and he could get Dabi.

“Because pro heroes…” Kai said with a small smirk as he lifted up a gun towards your unconscious body. Bakugou’s eyes widened. Oh gods. He had noticed you, tucked behind the boxes, but not out of shooting range. “Don’t let people die.”

Bang!

#mha #my hero academia #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x you #bakugou mha

49 notes · View notes

the-kingshound · 6 months ago

Note

Warning inane ramble incoming, it’ll probably be annoying I apologize. (*_ _)人 I spent the last several days reading every post here. I managed to convince myself to start liking some (sorry about that I’m sure it was annoying to get all those notifications) I have this weird thing where I get nervous about liking older posts cuz I mean it’s been a long time and it’s unprompted so that’s weird right? It feels weird like I’m doing something wrong or I’m being annoying, I considered reblogging too but somehow that felt worse? Sorry I am not good with social rules they confuse me both on and offline Idk my brain is wrong and I’m just a nervous socially anxious snail. (＞﹏＜)

Anyways just wanted to gush about how much I love it here and I’m never leaving (´꒳`) ♡ First and foremost Yniol has a special place in my heart they will forever be my favorite bestie (*＾ω＾)人(＾ω＾*), yes I am biased as my partner is grey and though they don’t play IFs they were thrilled to learn about your character! Also your writing is just phenomenal, your fans are fun and creative, your characters give such warm and positive energy I love them so much they’re perfect, the inclusivity is such chefs kiss ( ´ з `) 🤌🏻✨, the angst is delicious, the fluff is so sweet and comforting, the spice is ... very blush-worthy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄). This has been a journey I laughed, I cried, I giggled, and I blushed and I have enjoyed every bit of it from pasta discourse to Moldien cult wars to Arthur bunnies, I’ve had the most wonderful time. Now my mind is gonna be filled with Arthurian stuff for months my maladaptive daydreaming is having the time of its life I have a road trip next week and I’m so looking forward to just staring out a window for 6+hours while my Hound's just alternating daydream adventures with the cast o(≧▽≦)o. Also speaking of your amazingly wonderful, sweet, and supportive cast I have decided my (though I love them all) favorite poly pairings are Arthur/Morien and whole crew polycule I’d sell my soul for those but I 100% understand why you can’t really do that. I don’t think I have the endurance in me to code a single poly no matter how much I wish it so the fact you’re doing any let alone several is just god tier you are awe inspiring.

Alas I have rambled far far to much I wish I could be more eloquent in expressing just how much I enjoyed experiencing all of this but for now this is the best I can do (╥ω╥). Thank you for sharing your wonderful work it’s truly a gift to experience. ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ I wish you wealth, health, and all the best in all your creative endeavors. -🐌

No, please please do not apologize. You made my entire week <3 This ask is straight up going into the folder where i keep my motivation to write and to be just a little proud of my work, thank you so so much for sending it.

For anyone having the same thoughts about liking or reblogging old posts: please do it. When I see the notifications, get very giddy and pleased, and I hope you are enjoying the food. Liking, and especially reblogging things, even more so if you add tags and reactons, not only fills me with glee but it also reminds me of old asks that I want to reblog again for new followers. So yeah, I love it, please feel free to go on a liking/reblogging spree!

You are so relatable for the maladaptive daydreaming (this game was absolutely born out of my own mental movies), I wish I could speed up the writing and editing for the next update so you can read it while you travel but I'm afraid it's a lost cause (I have been working on things, even now, but I am currently rewriting like half of it and while it is way better it takes sooo much time and energy). Knowing my characters and story are in someone's thoughts it the best kind of reward I need. I will never likely monetise this game, so this is the thing I wish to leave people with, and I hope the characters can be comforting and keep you company <3

You have no idea how much I would love to write the full polycule... maybe one day :,) But don't lose hope for the Arthur/Morien poly yet, as I decided to cancel the Gwyar/Morien poly and now I have a potentially free slot. In any case, awww, please know that this ask made me so happy today and will be in my thoughts as tkh is in yours.

Please have a lovely day and a lovely week and also a very lovely trip! Thank you again so so much!!

#lovely adorable anons #also never apologize for sening asks in anon i understand #i do the same #(anxiety)#love you!!#anon love

64 notes · View notes

trans-androgyne · 6 months ago

Note

hey, thank you for having and running this blog. you're doing the equivalent of gods work.

first, i'm sorry for the amounts of jerk anons you have to deal with. you literally articulate yourself very well and clearly, and still, people will find a way to twist it or not take it seriously. it reminds me of me "arguing" with terfs back in 2022 on twitter. (shudders.)

and second, how do you deal with the constant negativity? i have found myself doomscrolling the transandrophobia tag, and, well, to no ones surprise, my mental health is down the gutter. do you have any tips to deal with it? mainly with the transandrophobia in general? it is more than exhausting existing as a (gnc & enby) trans guy atm, and it's really getting to me. the thing is, I wouldn't mind it if it were non-queer bigots, but the fact it's coming from inside the community is devastating. i am more than hurt. this intense hatred for men and masculinity, queer, trans, or not, is incomprehensible to me. it never does anything good. anyone who says "i hate all men and anything masculine" is definitely going in the "yep that's either a radfem or a radfem hatchling" box. i partially understand as to why- i had a fear of men myself when i still identified as a girl, and slipped into the "all men bad. kill" side of the internet for a short while but ONLY because of this rhetoric ("you need to be afraid because there are men outside." , "men and masculinity are inherently predatory or dangerous")- but i got out of it because i saw how fucked it was eventually (thank goodness)- but nothing should ever be an excuse to excessively hate a gender or masculinity this badly. and its mostly gender essentialist bs anyways imo, so i do not understand it at all...it reminds me of people saying men/mascs cant be asexual because it's "in their nature to be sexual"- because testosterone. its hard. i just wish we all could respect each other. you're either "one of the bad bad evil men" or "noooooo not YOU. you're AFAB!! never!! youre a girl/woman in spirit!!" from my personal experience with terfs/radfems/idiots.

anyways, sorry for invading your anon space with this long rant, but i just wanted to leave this and the question. i hope you have a nice day/night, and thank you for reporting on transandrophobia as much as you do. it's sadly very much needed right now.

Thank you so much, this is such a kind ask to receive. To be honest with you: I don’t handle my mental health very well around it </3 It’s weighed on me pretty heavily these last few months especially. The things keeping me running this blog anyway are my passion for the transmasc community and lovely anons like yourself cheering me up. When it comes to trying to manage it, the most important thing for me has been finding people I can vent to about it who will understand. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful discord server full of awesome trans people who will talk it through with me, and that’s been a life-saver. Staying offline for a bit and trying to engage in person with people who are unlikely to be transandrophobic towards you can be a nice relief. I catch myself doomscrolling constantly too, and it doesn’t feel great. If you need to set some sort of time limit on your phone even just to remind yourself not to do it, that’s helped me before and might help you too.

Having this much hatred levied at me for my identity from my own community lately has been devastating. I completely understand you. I’ve always been vocal about supporting transfems in particular, so it really hurts to see so many turn against me for speaking up. I understand how the queer community got this way, though. Antimasculinism has been an issue in queer and feminist spaces for ages. I think people are starting to notice it more and understand why it sucks and how much it negatively affects trans men and mascs. It feels like a losing battle sometimes with how much cultural feminism — the Men Bad Women Good flavor of pop feminism — has pervaded our communities and often led to very overt radical feminism that people still can’t always recognize because they don’t know anything about TERFs outside of them hating trans women. I believe the culture will start to shift soon such that people are able to recognize sexism and gender essentialism that harms all genders, and I will be doing my part to help that happen.

#transandrophobia #cultural feminism #transfeminism #intersectional feminism #antimasculinism #transmasc experiences #long post #ask #mine

44 notes · View notes

sabo-has-my-heart · 8 months ago

Note

Hi! I don’t really know if this is considered an emergency request so feel free to ignore this since it’s way less urgent compared to other emergency requests.

Recently I have been having problems with asking myself whether or not I deserve an apology whenever I feel offended by my friends. I don’t really know how to word it so I’ll try my best here. I’m that ‘therapist friend’ in my group of friends of 4 (including me) and I always help solve the fights between our group which is mostly the same 2 friends fighting. I’ve never been in a fight with them more than 3 times and those times it barely lasts a day. Out of the 3 of my friends I’m really close to 1 of them (I’ll call her Kay) kay and I often play games together like Minecraft, cod, fall guys, etc. while playing these games she couldn’t talk so i was the only one talking while she was texting me back her responses, at one point she said something along the lines of ‘Jesus you sound like those annoying little kids that spit out a bunch of questions.’ Or something like that. I’ve been very insecure about my own voice and my child-like personality and the doubt in my head that I annoy my friends with my blabbering mouth(my friends don’t know this tho) I just responded with ‘oh’ and stayed quiet for the rest of the call which was silent. I excused myself and just went offline to think. I’m not sure if I was being over dramatic over something so small but that really hurt me and I tried to make it obvious it did hoping she’d approach me about it and tell me she didn’t mean it or basically anything but she never did. She just went about it like it didn’t even happen and I’m too scared to bring it up since it happened already a while ago and it’d be weird to. And this happens sometimes too, it doesn’t happen often nor does it rarely. I just need a second opinion on how to go about this. Could you give me some advice abt this along with sanji and law reacting to their s/o with this kind of problem?

I’m also the same Anon who sent the emergency request abt wanting to die instead of experiencing a loss of someone close, That really helped me overcome that feeling! I haven’t fully but I’m improving! Thank you so much and I hope you have an amazing day! (So sorry if this whole request is confusing and sorry for all the grammar mistakes)

I’m sorry if this isn’t considered an emergency request so feel free to ignore!

Hi sweet heart! I'm glad you're doing better about wanting to die. don't worry about being fully better. You're getting better, that's all that matters. It's okay to take your time. I'm sorry you're going through this. I sort of know how this feels, I was kind of this person in my group. Unfortunately, I eventually realized that, to those people, I wasn't a friend. Not really, anyway. I was just, admittedly, too afraid of being alone and abandoned to leave them. I suppose that's a pretty common fear. People don't really want to be alone.

Warnings: GN!Reader (I hope, let me know if I made any mistakes on that),

Word Count: 1800

Chewing on your lip, you stared out the window. You deserved an apology for this, didn’t you? After all, it was rude, mean, and hurtful, so it wasn’t like it was an unreasonable request, right? The two of you in particular were pretty close too, so she’d know that she should apologize, right? Even still, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really deserved an apology. Surely you deserved it, you were always solving fights between them and rarely started any arguments yourself, so it wasn’t like you were constantly causing needless drama. It was one apology. If it were any of your other friends, you’d talk to both of them, try to smooth things over, and usually they’d work things out and apologize on their own after that. So being on the receiving end of that meant that you deserved the same courtesy… right? Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really did deserve one. What if you were being over dramatic? Or perhaps you were blowing all of this out of proportion. She and the others would be pretty upset if you asked for an apology you didn’t deserve and you really didn’t want to cause a fight. Maybe it would be fine if you waved it off? It’s not like it was a particularly common thing. Yeah, it happened from time to time, but it wasn’t like they were constantly putting you down.

Getting up, you ran a hand through your hair. Maybe a shower or bath would calm you down and help you think. The warm water might help you relax and think clearly and a lot of people did their best thinking in the bathroom. If nothing else, it was worth a shot. Stepping in, you let the warm water soothe you, let it ease the tension in your muscles. Granted, it was hard to get yourself to relax into the water when you were this wound up, but eventually the warmth worked its way into your body, calming your mind. You were always the one solving all the problems, the one the others went to when they needed to talk, the one who helped everyone else, so what were you supposed to do when you were the one who needed help? Needed someone to talk to? Would the others hear you out? Just because you weren’t as close to the others didn’t mean you couldn’t talk to them about this. At least… hopefully. Despite how the water eased your body and calmed your mind, your thoughts still swirled like a whirlwind. You lost track of how much time you spent in the bathroom, how much time you spent trying to work out your thoughts before the water turned cold and you were forced to step out. Putting on some comfy clothes, you curled up on the couch, holding one of the couch pillows close.

Sanji

Walking into the living room, Sanji’s smile fell. The look on your face was so despondent, so downcast. He hated seeing you like this.

“Mon amour, what’s wrong?” the blond asked, kneeling on the floor next to the couch, reaching up to caress your cheek. Looking up at him, you debated on what to say. You really didn’t want to worry him, especially over something so… trivial. He had enough to worry about. Yet the look in his eyes begging you to tell him, to talk to him. The young man was always telling you that you could talk to him about anything, to come to him if you were ever feeling upset.

“Do… Do I deserve an apology?” your heart ached as the words finally left your lips, a look of alarm crossing Sanji’s features.

“Darling, what happened?” Sanji was immediately moving to the couch as he pulled you into his arms. Though he wanted to know what happened, he didn’t care if you were in the right or wrong, you were hurting. Taking a deep breath, you told him about what happened with your friend. Told him what she’d said, your insecurities, your feelings, everything. His hold on your tightened, holding you closer as he listened, one hand running up and down your back soothingly. Once you were finished, Sanji sat there for a moment, simply comforting you as he thought about what to say.

“My dearest love, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. You’re so amazing, so kind and caring. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that.” Sanji’s lips met your forehead, making you smile slightly as you snuggled further into him, “Which of your friends is this? Perhaps I can speak to her about apologizing. She should know she hurt you. I doubt she meant to hurt your feelings, but all the same, she did. If nothing else, perhaps you can work things out. Even if an apology isn’t given, perhaps you can get her to understand your feelings. But please, don’t bottle this up, don’t let it eat at your heart." His words made you smile as you nuzzled shyly into his chest. He always seemed to know what to say, what to do. He had a point, at very least, if you could work this out, then it wouldn’t happen again. If you could get her to understand your feelings, understand how hurt you were, if she made sure not to hurt you again, perhaps an apology wouldn’t matter. Her actions would apologize for her, she’d be better and your friendship would be stronger. A thought dawned on you as you glanced back up at him.

“And if she refuses to apologize? If she thinks she didn’t do anything wrong?” you asked worriedly, biting your lip again.

“Then they don’t deserve you and you need new friends, my love.” Sanji said softly, putting his thumb on your lip, forcing you to stop biting it, “Don’t be afraid to leave those who don’t deserve you in an attempt to find those who do. You won’t make real friends if you don’t try. Whether you become better friends with her or you find better friends elsewhere, it’s better to find those who appreciate you.” His words make your heart swell as you rested your head against him, feeling infinitely better. You’d talk to her tomorrow, if all went well, she’d apologize and if she refused, you’d find those worthy of your friendship.

Law

It was a while before Law stumbled into the living room, clearly exhausted from a long day doing rounds at the hospital. The surprisingly young doctor’s brow furrowed as he looked at your dispirited form. Normally you’d greet him with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes you’d have a snack or dinner ready for him, other times, you’d have started a hot shower for him. It didn’t take a genius for him to see that something was very clearly wrong. Taking a moment to think, Law finally pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He said simply, already putting a hand on your head so you’d rest against his collarbone. Swallowing hard, you tried to gather your thoughts. You knew there was no hiding it from him. Of the few times you’d tried, he always knew you were lying and coaxed it out of you sooner or later.

After another moment, you began to tell him what had happened, occasionally stopping as you began to worry that you were babbling again. Each time, Law would tell you to continue, reassuring you that it was fine, even if you apologized for rambling. Of the many things he’d never admit, he actually liked your rambling, liked your babbling and childish nature. It was the yin to his yang. You were bright and sunny, offsetting his rather serious, aloof personality. And while you were bright and sunny, you weren’t annoying about it. You weren’t some bimbo with an empty head who flounced around talking about the most shallow, inconsequential, idiotic things. Not some superficial pretty face with no cares in the world. There was more to you than that. He found you beautiful, yes, and you were bright and you blabbered, sure; but you had more than two brain cells, you weren’t shallow, you cared very deeply. A little bright, cheery, slightly child-like actions were a welcome change in his life.

You soon finished telling him what was wrong, followed by a million apologies for being over dramatic and annoying. After about 10 seconds of apologizing, his hand met the side of your head in a light ‘smack’, though said smack was more like a light tap of his fingers meant to shut you up and stop your endless apologies.

“Stop apologizing, I asked what was wrong and kept telling you to continue. You don’t need to apologize. Your friend’s the one who should apologize. I really don’t care about what happened or why. She hurt your feelings, she made you question yourself, you need to talk to her. Even I apologize if I hurt Bepo, Shachi, or Penguin. She needs to know she hurt your feelings and work it out with you. You realize this’ll just keep happening if you don’t talk about it, right? She won’t realize she hurt you and she’ll just do it again. If you want this to get better, say something, ask for a damned apology. If she doesn’t give you one or says you're overreacting, leave. You need friends who will listen to you and try to understand you, not ones who’ll make you feel bad just for wanting to express how you’re feeling.” Law sighed and tilted his head back. Despite his advice, he really wasn’t good at this. The way he handled things and the way you handled things were completely different.

“What if it starts a fight? What if I lose them? I really don’t want to lose my friends.” you asked, giving him a worried look.

“Then they aren’t friends, they’re people who are taking advantage of you. You really think I treat the others the same way? It’s basic respect to acknowledge a person’s feelings and try to right things. To improve your relationship by being better.” His words weren’t exactly soft or gentle, but as always, you could see right through him. You saw the care and love behind them. You nodded as you took a deep breath, letting him continue to hold you.

“Alright, I’ll try. Just… Please, take that day off. I want someone to comfort me if this starts an argument or they say they don’t want to be friends anymore.” you pleaded, making him nod.

“Of course. Just… just know that if they want to end your friendship over something instead of just saying a few simple words, then they don’t deserve you. It’ll hurt, but you deserve better.” Law said softly, continuing to comfort you.

43 notes · View notes