#I’ve been doing this every few months since I was 19

[dissociating-brain]

What’s it called when you convince yourself you’re pregnant every 3-5 months, despite having never been pregnant and being on fool proof birth control?

[i-love-ptv]

Stacy’s Mom Has Got It Goin’ On ˚̣̣ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣

Pairing: Husband!Rafe Cameron x Soccer-mom!Wife!Reader

It’s not easy being a soccer-mom, especially when dads hit on you at every game as if you’re not married to Rafe.

Wc: 1,596

Fluff, Protective Rafe making an appearance, kinda pushy guy (idk what to say)

An: I’ve really wanted to write a fic based on this song, and this idea randomly popped into my head so! Am I using the names I wanna name my kids? Yes, yes I am.

Not proofread tbh

Feedback always appreciated lovelies!! xx

“I’ll be back, ‘mkay doll?”

You hum in acknowledgement, eyes peering back at the field after looking up.

Your husband, Rafe, leant down and places a firm kiss on your forehead.

“Yeahhh, Daddy’s gonna be back, baby.” Rafe coos at your two year old, who was sitting on your lap, babbling freely while peering at him with her big doe eyes.

Rafe walks off the bleachers in search of the concession stand to buy food for the three of you.

You brush your hand over your young daughter’s head, making sure her somewhat oversized hat is still covering her head entirely. Her hand wraps around your index finger.

It was oddly humid today, if you continued moving, you’d break a slight sweat. You can't even imagine what your daughter—Stacy must be feeling, running around on the large grassy field under the beaming bright sun.

You were proud of your baby girl though, nonetheless. And so was Rafe, of course.

You shout loudly when you notice the game is about to start, bellowing out a “Go Stacy!”

Stacy’s eyes easily found yours, for you and Rafe would always sit in the same spot on the bleachers.

Her eyes were slightly wide due to your shout, despite you and Rafe always cheering for her during her games.

She’s motioning for you to ‘shh’, putting her fingers to her lips before getting into her position.

“Which one’s yours?” You hear to the left of you, the unknown voice makes you tear your eyes away from the field.

You smile shortly at the unfamiliar man next to you, “Number 22.”

You can’t help but notice how he’s rather scruffy looking, an odd contrast to your upkept husband with his neatly buzzed hair.

“Mine’s number 13.” He says, flashing his teeth at you.

You gasp and shoot up a little, making you look down at your daughter on your lap. “Valerie’s yours? Oh she’s just the sweetest!”

The man chuckles, looking deeply in your eyes. This makes your eyebrows raise, slightly in confusion, but mostly in discomfort.

He hadn’t done anything out of the norm, you’d randomly talk to the other moms around too, but something about him made you uncomfortable.

“My name's Brandon, and yours?”

You introduce yourself briefly, before turning back towards the game.

His eyes dart to your left hand, looking for a ring, for any indication that you belong to someone else. He smiles sharply when he finds your fingers bare. This goes unnoticed by you.

Little does he know, you do have your ring on, just around your neck.

Your biggest fear was your youngest accidentally pulling off your ring, resulting in you losing it. Or, even worse: it pokes her eye or something of that nature.

You suppose you could be considered a ‘Helicopter-mom’ at times, simply going to the extremes to make sure your kids are happy and healthy at every point in time.

Rafe is the exact same way, maybe even a little worse. But you knew he was just protective, he loves this life that he has with you, since he had no idea the two of you would’ve been together for so long.

You had started dating Rafe when you were 18 and he was 19. It was good for the first few months, disregarding the few arguments that you had. But then, you had caught Rafe doing cocaine.

You don’t think you’ll ever be able to shake the look on his face from your memory.

You weren’t supposed to be at the party, you said you were busy filling out college applications.

So when he was mid-line, and he saw you standing there all dolled up, watching him with glossy eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces.

You weren’t supposed to find out, he wanted to keep this away from you, to keep you close to him.

He promised that he would try and stay sober for you, but eventually he’d give in every time the opportunity was in front of him. This resulted in several arguments, and surprisingly, a break up.

But things are different now. You both are in your 30’s, you got married, and of course, had two beautiful babies together.

Rafe knew he’d be crazy to fuck things up now, when he has the perfect life right in front of him.

Speaking of which; you’re really starting to wonder what the hell is taking him so long just to get some goddamn hotdogs and drinks.

You’re bouncing your knee anxiously, which makes your daughter giggle. You wish she wasn’t finding this amusing, but you know she can’t help it.

“Well who’s this cute girl, huh?” The man coos, tickling your daughter’s side.

“Her name is Noelle.” You huff, your mood quickly shifting due to this stranger touching your daughter.

He lets out another chuckle, you wish you never had to hear it again. “Sounds like you’re quoting Teenage Dirtbag to me.”

You give him a pointed look, you’re really getting sick of his pestering. “That’s where I got it from.”

Abruptly, the crowd starts cheering madly. You look around and see Stacy's team celebrating briefly; they had just scored a goal.

You cheer and clap, grabbing Noelle’s chubby hands and making her raise her arms wildly while giggling with her.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could-” Before Brandon could finish his sentence, none other than Rafe Cameron comes stomping up the bleachers, huffing and puffing angrily.

He sits down and sighs, “God, I’m sorry babe. The line was so long! I swear I’m going grey right now.”

“And I missed the goddamn play!” Rafe exclaims. He looks over at you and immediately goes quiet once he sees those wide baby eyes that look at him curiously.

“Da?” Noelle mutters, reaching her tiny hands towards Rafe’s larger ones.

“Yeah. Da’s here babygirl, do you want your food? Huh sweet girl?”

Rafe hands you your food, setting his food aside so he can put Noelle in his lap. He begins to split half his hotdog in pieces for her.

You glance to the left, you notice Brandon looking like a fish out of water.

Rafe is the CEO of one of, if not the biggest business company around. And Brandon had just borderline harassed his wife, who was holding his child.

Brandon sneers at the two of you in silence while the game continues, nearly boiling at the fact that he couldn’t have you.

Your head is laying on Rafe’s shoulders, you’re rubbing circles on Noelle’s shoulder as she settles down.

“Everything alright babe?” Rafe asks, trying to peer down at your face.

You untuck your necklace with your wedding ring from your shirt, fiddling with it. “Yeah, now that you’re here Ray.”

There’s silence between the two of you for a few seconds.

“…What does that mean?”

You hesitate to answer, but you do regardless, “Nothing! It’s just uh..That guy next to me, was kinda like hassling me I guess.”

This makes Rafe straighten his back.

“He do somethin’ to you doll?” Rafe questions in a whisper. You know you have about 30 seconds to try and calm him down before he’s banned from every soccer game left in the season.

“No, okay? I’m fine, it’s cool. I need you to calm down Ray.”

Rafe’s nose is flaring, “What about Ellie? Did he touch her?”

You feel your throat closing up, your heart is damn near pounding out of your chest.

You don’t say anything to Rafe, but that look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.

You grab his bicep, trying to keep him grounded. Even though he’s changed, some parts of him haven’t.

Rafe speaks lowly in your ear, but not too much to frighten you in any way. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Don’t worry y’pretty little head about it.”

Rafe presses a firm kiss against your cheek, then presses a softer one to your lips.

After 30 more minutes, and 2 more goals, Stacy’s team wins.

You and Rafe cheer loudly, letting out “That’s our baby girl!”

You meet Stacy at the bottom of the bleachers, holding Noelle in your hand as the littlest claps her hands between Stacy’s face.

You’re too busy congratulating your daughter to notice Rafe pulling Brandon aside while his daughter, Valerie is off talking to her friends.

Rafe puts a firm hand on his shoulder, “Hey man.”

Brandon lets out a nervous laugh, “Hey there, Rafe Cameron, right?”

“Yeah, let’s keep this short. I better not see or hear you talking to my wife again, do you hear me? I don’t give a shit what happened.”

Rafe continues shortly, “And keep your fucking hands to yourself, if I find out you touched my either of my daughters again, I swear to God himself I’ll put you under.”

The two men are holding eye contact, one looks with confidence and borderline rage, while the other looks with fear.

Rafe walks down the bleachers, meeting you and your girls.

“You were amazing out there sweetheart!” Rafe smiles while pulling Stacy into a bear hug.

“Jesus dad, you’re crushing me!” Stacy laughs with a slight wheeze.

Rafe ruffles her hair and puts his arm around your neck.

“All good to go?”

You nod your head, and with that, the four of you begin to walk to Rafe’s parked car.

Rafe realizes that this isn’t the first time you’ve been hit on at a soccer game, or anywhere in fact. And this definitely won’t be the last.

Cause everybody’s in love with Stacy’s mom.

[fruitbasketball]

sorry y’all. this is going to be a little emotional.

when i was 4 years old, i went to my first ever nba basketball game. i don’t remember it at all, honestly. i know kobe was playing, but all i have is a picture of me on my dad’s shoulders in a lakers hat and the definitive notion that i wanted to go back.

i fell in love with basketball that day. i’ve stayed in love ever since.

when i was 10, i heard about a team that had just gone back to back in the tournament, and on the women’s side. i decided i would watch a few games. i fell in love all over again.

when i was 12 years old, i watched the university of connecticut do the unthinkable. 4 straight championships, 2 perfect seasons, absolute dominance.

i thought to myself: in everything i do, for the rest of my life, that is what i am striving for: perfection.

that same year, i watched one of my idols, kobe bryant, retire.

when i was 15, i got concussed. it was a regular volleyball practice, and i didn’t expect it at all. but i had a sport i loved taken away from me, because the risk of damaging my academic future was just too great.

i fell out of love with sports, for a little bit. it sucked watching athletes do what i used to love doing; competing, being a teammate, winning.

later that year, i clicked on a youtube highlight reel. i don’t remember if it was overtime, or bleacher report, or house of hoops - and that’s honestly not important. but there was this blonde girl from minnesota, a couple years older than me, and she was hooping out of her fucking mind.

and just like that, i fell back in love.

i saw tidbits of all my favorite players - a midrange shot and mentality that resembled kobe’s, a cockiness that reminded me of dee, a 3 ball so smooth i could only think of steph, and a pass first mentality that made me feel like i was watching sue play.

slam said she was electrifying - that didn’t even begin to describe it.

i watched her commit to uconn.

kobe would die her freshman year. i would feel the loss like no other.

i watched this girl - saw her cry when she won national player of the year (the first freshman ever to do it), saw her lose in the final four, watched her get up in front of the entire country at 19 years old and tell them black women mattered.

and then i watched her get hurt.

and even though it wasn’t the same at all, it reminded me of my own injury. the player whose game i had fallen in love with - more and more with every play and every game - understood what i had felt on a fundamental level.

i watched her lose the championship that year. i wondered how someone could go through so much and God still couldn’t reward her.

when i was 18, i cried when i found out she had torn her acl.

my health went to shit that year. i was pushing myself too hard, striving for perfection. i landed myself in the er more than a few times. i was in and out of the hospital for months. i was sidelined from everything i loved.

i watched her talk about God and resilience and i was shocked at how it was possible to maintain so much positivity and faith when it feels like everything is against you. like life is happening to you and it feels like you’re just surviving instead of living.

i watched her come back from that injury, watched her struggle to carry a team that was far too depleted, watched someone i idolized struggle for another year.

i listened to her cite kobe, the man whose numbers i have tattooed on my back. the man who was everything to me growing up.

and it was the same for her. God. faith. determination.

so that’s what it was for me.

God. faith. determination.

yesterday, paige bueckers became a national champion with God, faith, and determination.

that means something to me.

it means something to a lot of fucking people - and that’s what makes her so great. it’s not the trophies or the awards or even the national championship net she won’t fucking take off. it’s her - it’s who she is as a person, who she’s always been, and who she’s grown to be.

i can’t think of a single person more deserving of God’s grace, not one person more resilient and faithful and not one person i look up to more.

thank you for a spectacular five years, paige.

thank you for being a role model to me when i needed it most.

thank you for bringing your talent to the game i fell in love with at 4 years old.

the rest of the legend is still waiting to be written.

i can’t wait to read it.

[latenightdaydreams]

Reader is trying to learn German, and König finds out. Its only right that he helps teach her Ja? Makes her say filthy things to him with her none the wiser.

Pervert!König x Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Master List ✍🏽

>cw: fem/afab, dirty talk, masturbation

1.1k word count

📱

.

.

To say König has a crush on you would be an understatement. He’s more so…obsessed with you. No matter what is going on, König makes sure to keep an extra close eye on you. Always lingering near you during training exercises or sitting close in the mess hall.

Today, as he walks into the common room, he spots you sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand. He walks behind you, trying to get a peek at what you are up to. As his eyes land on your phone, he sees the little green language app owl icon in the corner and the German flag. A rush of excitement shoots through him. German? His mother tongue? How exciting!

Acting as casually as he can, he sits down next to you on the couch. You look up and smile at him before looking back at your phone. Not that you could see it, but König smiles back at you under his mask. He struggles to come up with a way to approach the topic, so he just decides to be direct like he always is.

“So, you’re learning German?”

You look back up from your phone and meet König’s gaze. “Yeah, I’ve been trying for a few months now. I just can’t keep the habit of logging on to do so.” Your voice carries a certain lightness to it that isn’t usually found on a military base.

“You know, I have extra time on my schedule. I could help you. German is my first language, after all.” König leans back into the couch, crossing his arms.

“Oh? I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” He’s the Colonel. Getting in his way is the last thing you want to do.

“No bother at all. It would be a pleasure to help. I love when people want to learn German.” His blue eyes gaze into yours, masking his hidden agenda behind a kind look.

“I would really appreciate that, Colonel. Thank you.”

“My office, tomorrow at 19:00.” König stands and walks away with that.

The next day, König sits at his desk, waiting eagerly for you to show up. His fingers tap on the solid wood desk before him as he watches the time. Two more minutes before he told you to appear. Where are you?

Just then, a knock sounds at the door. König perks up in his seat and looks towards the door. “Come in.” His voice carries to you on the other side of the door. You enter and see König appearing relaxed at his desk.

“Hello, Colonel.” You close the door behind you.

“You can just call me König since it’s just us.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and just holds it in his hand.

“Okay, König.” You say in a tone he can easily mistaken as flirting, and he did.

As you take a seat, his eyes follow every curve of your body. He watches the way you relax even in his presence; not something many do. Clearing his throat, he leans forward in his seat.

“So how much German would you say you know?”

“I can only say ‘hallo’ and ‘danke’.” You say with a small chuckle.

“So, you know nothing?” König laughs as he leans back. “Okay, I’ll start with some easy things.”

For the next twenty minutes he walks you through simple greetings, pulling out a pen and paper to write these down for you. He teaches you about umlauts and how they’re pronounced. Once he feels more comfortable, he looks down at his phone and unlocked the screen. The voice recording app is open and he hits record, placing his phone face down on the table.

“Now, let's put some of these words into sentences.” A sly smirk on his face underneath his mask. “Ich bin deine Hure.”

“Ich bin dein Hure.”

“Close, it’s deine. Try it again.”

“Ich bin deine Hure.” You say confidently, not knowing you just called yourself a whore.

“Gut, das ist gut!” He can feel his cock begin to tingle at the sound of you calling yourself a whore. “Once more before we move on.”

König relaxes in his chair as he listens to you say it loud and clear, perfectly too. He nods his head in approval. “Great. Now let’s say, ‘Bitte iss meine Muschi’.” He swallows hard as he waits.

“Bitte iss meine Muschi.” You repeat after him perfectly.

“Again.” His blue eyes are glued to your lips as you speak. He can’t help but to imagine them wrapped around his cock as you gag on him. He listens to you beg him to eat your pussy and its heaven. If only you really were begging.

“You’re doing very well, y/n. Your accent isn’t that bad either.”

You smile proudly at being complimented by your own Colonel on your German. “Thank you, König.”

“Ja, ja…of course. Let’s continue.” He shifts in his chair to ease the tension of his erection straining against his cargo pants. “Next is, ‘Ich liebe deinen Schwanz’.”

“Ich liebe deinen…Schwanz?” You struggle with the last word, a nervous giggle in your voice.

“Schwanz, you said it right. Now again.” His eyes follow your lips closely as you say it again. You really would love his cock if you gave him a chance. He’s never had a lover complain so far.

As you speak you watch König’s gaze lower to your chest and back up to your lips. You think nothing of it, and just assume he was simply looking at you, not checking you out. What you don’t see from where you sit is the giant tent in his pants and him biting his lip underneath the cover of his mask.

A half hour passes of him recording you saying depraved sexual things to König. He’s made you tell him that you have a tight pussy, sweet pussy, how much you’d love to fuck and suck him. By the time he ends the session, there is a wet patch on the olive-green fabric of his pants.

“Tomorrow, same time?” König asks as you stand, preparing to leave.

“That works for me.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

König watches as you leave his office, his eyes glued to your ass swaying until the door closes. He lifts his phone and stops the recording. In a rush he locks his office door, sitting back down and opening your file on the computer so he can have a visual. He undoes his pants and pulls out his cock. As he hits play, his eyes stay focused on your photo. A low moan leaves his lips as he strokes his cock, listening to you beg to suck it on his phone.

[peachhcs]

going to worlds

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

with worlds coming up, tensions get high in the hughes’ household between luke and samy.

2k words

so this is actually more samy x luke more than samy x will but here’s the sibling angst i mentioned a few days ago! i feel like we don’t see a lot of samy’s relationship with her brothers so i wanna try and write that more but i will be writing more about worlds between will and samy as it plays out! :))

au masterlist

“no, absolutely not,” luke immediately shook his head as he walked out of the kitchen. samy was hot on his tail as she followed him into the living room, watching as he plopped himself onto the couch, remote in hand. 

“why not? it’s not like i’m gonna be bothering you,” the younger hughes argued, hanging herself over the couch so she was right in her brother’s face. 

the boy pushed her away, “but it will be a bother when i have to look after you the entire month there. i’m not doing that shit. i’m not gonna be some babysitter at my own hockey tournament,” luke was being harsh which samy sort of expected, but not this bad.

“i’m 19 years old. you don’t need to look after me,” the girl fired back. 

“that’s not what mom and dad will say. plus, i kind of do because we’re in a fucking foreign country and i’m not that stupid to let you wander around czechia by yourself,” luke shot back even harder. a frustrated groan escaped samy’s lips. this brother was supposed to be easier than her other two. 

“i won’t be by myself. plus, i went to sweden and mom and dad were fine,” samy mumbled sheepishly. 

“what do you think you’re gonna do when we’re at practice almost the whole day? sit in the hotel? that’s gonna get boring real quick,” the curly-brunette shook his head, already very over the conversation and disregarding what his sister said.

“you’re being such a brat. i’m not 12 years old anymore, luke. i can take care of myself, you know. you’re not even 21 yet so right now it’s a one year age difference.” 

“why do you even wanna go? don’t you have your own shit to do instead of follow me to czechia,” the middle hughes rolled his eyes. although, his words hit a nerve. 

samy drew back off the couch, a frown settling onto her lips. sure, her and luke had their fair share of fights and arguments, but for some reason, his words hurt even more than any of those combined. 

“jesus, when did you turn into such an asshole?” now her words hit luke’s nerve this time. the older boy whipped around so hard samy swore he gave himself whiplash. his lips were set in a straight line along with his eyebrows pinched together. 

“who are you calling an asshole right now? you’re the one who needs to grow up right now,” the boy shot back quite harshly. 

“so me going to every single one of your ntdp games, home games at umich mean nothing to you? you just think i’m following you around?” the girl frowned, her hurt showing more than she anticipated as her voice wavered. 

“i- i..that’s not what i meant, sam. i just..it’s gonna be a bother and you just wanna go to make out with your boyfriend anyway,” luke defended himself, but his words didn’t sound any better than before. 

those words hurt samy a lot more than a few minutes ago. luke never called her sam ever. the siblings stared at one another, the silence engulfing them while luke awaited a response. “so that’s what you think? you’ve just forgotten that will’s still my best friend and i’ve been supporting him since we were kids along with you? you just think i wanna go to be some bother to you and have sex with my boyfriend?” samy’s voice finally rose to the point where they both knew she was angry. 

“i mean..am i wrong?” the wrong responses kept falling from the middle hughes’ mouth. 

“yes! you are wrong, luke! haven’t you and will always wanted to play on the same team together since we were kids but never could because you weren’t ever in the same age group? and now that it’s finally happening, i can’t go and support my brother and best friend who are playing for the same team because all you think is that i’m going to have sex with him all the time and be some fucking bother. i only asked you because i knew mom and dad would only let me go if you said yes and i thought you would because you’d want your sister there cheering you on like i have been for your entire life. maybe this whole fame thing really did get to your head,” samy stormed off before luke could even respond. her heavy footsteps carried all the way up the stairs until the boy heard her bedroom door slam shut. 

“woah, someone’s mad..” jack came out from the downstairs bedroom. his hair looked absolutely insane like he’d just woken up despite it being 2 in the afternoon. 

“i don’t know what’s up with her,” luke rolled his eyes, settling back into the couch like nothing happened. 

“she’s got a point, you know. you were kind of being an asshole,” jack shrugged as he wandered into the kitchen. 

“oh come on, not you too. if she goes, i’m just gonna have to look after her!” luke exclaimed, head falling back onto the couch in frustration. 

“she’s not some kid anymore, moosey. she’s 19. you’re not even 21. she can handle herself. she did in sweden,”  jack stuck up for their little sister. 

“that was different because everyone was there already. this isn’t the sam, jack. mom and dad will put me on babysitter duty because they aren’t there,” the younger brother continued his defense. 

“i don’t think it would be babysitting. more like making sure she’s okay. checking in? plus, i doubt she’ll even be in the hotel room that much anyway. she’ll wanna hang with smitty and leno,” jack started making himself a sandwich with the little ingredients in the fridge. apparently, ellen and jim hardly grocery shopped when they didn’t have four kids in one house anymore. 

“yeah and then that will lead to them having sex and then that becomes a whole thing,” luke rambled on. 

“is this really about not wanting samy there or is it about you thinking she’s taking away your moment if she’s there?” the older hughes brother proposed a new idea. he always saw through to his siblings hidden emotions they were trying to conceal. a beat of silence passed between the brothers and jack took the silence as his answer. he stopped making his sandwich for a moment to find a seat on the couch beside his brother. luke’s gaze stuck to the ground. 

“come on, rusty. talk to me,” jack nudged his brother’s knee. 

“it just feels like i never get to hang out with will because samy’s always there. or..he chooses her instead of hanging with us nowadays. being able to play on team usa together has been our dream since we were kids. i love that samy’s happy and so is will..i just..i really hoped this could be a just us thing. i don’t know. sounds selfish, i know,” the younger boy mumbled almost ashamed. 

“it’s not selfish, lukey. i get it. i’m still getting used to their whole dating thing too here and there. it is weird seeing one of your close friends date your sister,” jack sympathized. “i’m sure if you talked to samy she’ll understand. she’s always been your #1 supporter, luke. i know she’s not trying to come with you to wedge her way in between you guys. maybe set some boundaries?” 

“maybe i just feel so disconnected because i went to college and then was hardly ever around. feels like i don’t even know her sometimes anymore or will, you know? he used to be attached to our hips as kids and now..it’s just..not the same,” the curly-haired boy’s voiced faded off. a frown appeared on jack’s lips, rubbing his brother’s arm in a soothing manner. 

“talk to her, lukey. this can be your chance to reconnect with both of them the month you’re there,” the older boy encouraged. 

luke finally took to his words, agreeing as he got up and shuffled upstairs to hopefully reconcile. samy’s room sounded quiet the closer he got, so he gently knocked on the door.

“go away,” he heard lowly.

“please? just wanna talk,” luke mumbled from outside. 

a beat of silence passed until there was a small click and his sister’s gaze appeared through the crack, “about what?” 

“me being an asshole,” the older boy admitted in defeat that she was right earlier. the door opened wider, an indication that he could go in. 

luke’s gaze flicked around the room that he really hadn’t seen in..years almost. it was so similar, yet it felt so different in his eyes. so much time seemed to pass in samy’s room.

“you have five minutes to give me a good explanation,” the girl crossed her arms, snapping her brother back into reality. 

the guilt crept across luke’s face as he struggled on where to start. he was never the one to admit his feeling outright like this. “first, i’m sorry. i was an asshole about the whole thing,” he began.

“yeah, you kind of were. that really hurt, luke,” samy said seriously and the boy sighed. 

“i know..i don’t know why—i think i just…” he stumbled over his words and everything he just admitted to jack downstairs. “feels like i don’t really know you anymore just because i’ve been away and i hate that. we used to be so close and now it feels like we just don’t talk..same with will. i dunno. i guess i just didn’t want you there because i was being selfish and just wanted will and i there together. i realize now that you deserve to be there too to support us,” the boy continued in a long ramble that probably made no sense. 

he watched samy’s expression soften up a little, “you think we aren’t close anymore?” 

“i mean..not as close as we used to be. college and everything else seems to have made us drift..same with jack. same with quinn.”

yes, the hughes siblings were close, but not nearly as close when they all lived under one roof. one by one as each brother left, their bond slowly dissipated. texts became littler and littler. the time changes weren’t easy to work around sometimes. 

in some ways, samy saw where luke came from because quinn and jack missed a lot of big milestones in samy’s life yet she was there for all of theirs. 

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t know you felt that way,” the girl frowned. 

“no, no, it’s not your fault. i just..have been feeling weird lately. i think having you there will be really fun. maybe it can even make up for some of the time we’ve lost,” luke offered a smile. 

“no, i don’t have to go. you’re right. it’s a you and will thing. something you’ve been waiting for since you were kids,” the girl shook her head.

“no, no, i want you there. i promise. plus, i think smitty would actually fight me if he knew i wasn’t letting you come. i’m serious. we can catch up. have fun in czechia together. i’m sure mom and dad would love our sibling bonding,” the two shared a laugh. 

“are you sure?” 

“positive. i’ve missed hanging around you,” luke opened his arms for a hug. the youngest hughes stepped into his arms and they shared a tight hug in what felt like forever. 

“we’re gonna have so much fun there. i already have an intinerary planned for your off days,” the girl grinned widely when the two pulled away. 

a laugh escaped luke’s lips, “of course you do. we’ll talk to mom and dad tonight, yeah?” 

samy nodded and she let her brother squeeze her shoulders one last time before leaving her alone for now. she excitedly called will next to let him know the good news that they’d be able to spend the next few weeks together. 

[blue-slxt]

First Heat

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: Something about a deep animalistic urge to mate just does it for me apparently. All characters are aged up. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Neteyam x Avatar!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Explicit smut, p in v, heat, creampie, praise kink

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: It's your first heat cycle in your avatar body and you beg Neteyam for help.

It’s been about 5 months since you’ve decided to stay in your avatar permanently and live with the na’vi. At only 19 years old, you were the youngest person with an avatar and you took a bit of pride in that fact. Life on Pandora was a far cry from the life you knew on Earth, but in the absolute best way possible. The air was alive with this energy that you could feel at the bottom of your feet flowing through every living thing on the planet. You felt like you were starting to get the hang of how things worked; the customs, the traditions, the hunting, the healing, everything. You enjoyed life here much better.

You loved spending time with the Sully family. Since Jake was originally from Earth too, you enjoyed talking with him and telling his kids all about Earth and watching their ears perk up in amazement. In particular, Neteyam would always ask you questions wanting to know everything there was to know about your first home.

You enjoyed Neteyam’s company. He was a good listener, always very respectful, but he was also a bit of a jokester. You found him charming. Nothing like the men you knew on Earth.

You kept your hut pretty minimal for the most part. Although, there were a few Earth things you decided to keep, mostly a full body mirror. You loved admiring your avatar. They were able to customize it so that even though you had mostly the same build as the na’vi, you still had a lot of the same curves as your human body. It made you feel a little bit embarrassed sometimes wearing the na’vi clothing because it left you feeling extra exposed since it didn’t cover much. Nevertheless, you admired your long, slender legs all the same and strong arms. You sat on the floor of your hut weaving an armband with some beautiful beads that you had collected. Funny enough, the beads looked similar to the ones Neteyam would wear in his braids. And almost as if he had heard your thoughts, the flap to your hut flips open and he walks inside. You were surprised, but not unhappy to see him. Next to no one comes to your hut so you weren’t expecting company. “Hey Neteyam.”

“Hey, we missed you at dinner tonight” he said looking around at your strangely decorated home.

“Yea, sorry, I guess I got a little lost in my thoughts” you admit.

His eyes wander around looking at the Earth items littered through your hut, tail flicking back and forth with curiosity. His eyes finally land on the mirror and you can see the intrigue written all across his body language. He stares at himself moving this way and the other looking at his movements matched by his reflection. You wander up behind him and look in the mirror with him giggling to yourself a bit. “Pretty neat huh?”

He grins to himself clearly pleased with his appearance. “I have never seen myself so clearly. At most, I get a blurry glimpse in the water.”

It was fun to watch him watch himself. And you couldn’t help yourself from noticing him too. You became acutely aware of his slender muscles and the way his braids fell around his neck and the stripes along his body. He was a handsome man, there was no two ways about it. Your tail is brushing back and forth along the floor and your body lets out a soft purr. You feel your face flush deeply as Neteyam makes eye contact with you in the mirror. You cannot believe that the body you loved so much would betray you in such a way. “Sorry! I have no idea where that came from. I’ve never done that before. And you know I’m still kinda getting used to things and—” you try to explain away the sound and he turns around to actually face you. His head cocks to the side listening to your ramblings while a knowing smirk plays on his lips. God, his lips looked soft. Have they always looked so soft? And…inviting? ‘Stop it!’ what were you thinking? What has gotten into you? You have never acted this way before so why now?

You excuse yourself to go and sit cross-legged on your sleeping mat across the floor. Suddenly, it feels very hot in your hut. Strange, since it was getting late and it usually cools off around now, but you feel like you’re about to start sweating. Neteyam walks over to you and crouches in front of you. His big golden eyes scan your face. His stare is scorching, and you dip your head down to avoid his burning eyes, but his fingers find your chin and lift your face to look at him. He takes in a big breath, and you notice a flash of realization come across his face for a split second. If you blinked, you would’ve missed it. His eyes drop from your eyes to your lips and his thumb traces across your bottom lip, “Tell me, how much do you know about heat cycles?” his voice was low and for some reason it made you hot at your core.

“What is a heat cycle?” you question feeling like your body is burning up and your mind is going fuzzy. It’s all you can do just to focus on the conversation.

Neteyam chuckles to himself. He realized that this must be your first heat. When he came over to you, he could smell your pheromones radiating off you and clouding his senses. You smelled of fresh rainwater and exotic flora. It drove him mad with desire. He could notice your breathing speeding up and your eyes starting to cloud.

With how you look right now, it makes him want nothing more than to ravage you, but he was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of you in such a state. No matter how painfully hard he was right now looking at you.

He drops his hand from your chin and pats the top of your head instead. “You still have so much to learn.” He sighs, “Your heat will come every month, it’s basically your body’s um…need to…seek out a mate” he did his best to explain, but truthfully he wasn’t very good at it since his mother or sister usually handled this kind of thing.

You managed to register the information he was giving you, but it did nothing to quell the feeling growing inside of you. There was this deep ravenous hunger you felt, but not in your stomach. It was growing so strong, it was getting painful. You sit up on your knees and crouch over holding yourself. Neteyam rubs his hand up and down your back and his fingers feel like fire on your spine. You jolt under his touch wanting to lean more into it. “I hear the Tsahik has certain herbs that you can take that can help ease you through the next few days.”

Days? You would have to endure this feeling for days? You weren’t sure you would last even through the night. Neteyam moves to go leave your hut and get the herbs, but the sudden loss of his touch leaves you feeling needy and without any thought behind it, you reach out and grab his wrist to stop him from leaving you. He looks back down at you in surprise. You can barely hold yourself up on the floor. “Please…please Neteyam…don’t leave me.” You couldn’t believe what you were saying. It was like your lips suddenly had free will apart from your brain. Neteyam couldn’t help but notice how desperate you looked. Despite his better judgement, he bent down and scooped you up into his arms bridal style. The gesture makes your heart skip several beats. You knew he was strong, but something in the way that he picked you up and held you as if you weighed nothing did something to you. You rested your head in the crook of his neck and you breathed in his scent. You’ve never noticed how good he smells. He smells Earthy. It makes you feel…feral.

Neteyam tries to ignore your breath on his neck and hold his composure while he carries you back over to your mat. He lays you down gently on your back and sits cross-legged beside you. He’s stopped touching you and that painful feeling comes back. Your thighs rub together desperate for some kind of friction to hopefully relieve the ache you feel. Your hands roam up and down your own body needing touch. You turn your head to look at Neteyam as he watches you clearly concerned at your current state and the fact that he doesn’t know how to help you. Your eyes catch movement down at his loincloth and it’s practically calling your name.

“Neteyam..n-need you t-to help me…please” you moan out with your hands resting underneath your top.

“I want to help, but I don’t know what you need”, he touches your shoulder eyes full of worry. You trail your eyes down to between his legs and look back up at him. It clicks. His face and ears blush a deep violet color. “Oh, I can’t do that, I shouldn’t be the one to do that. That should be something for your mate.”

“B-but I…don’t have one” the pain is getting worse and your vision is blurring. You’ve decided there’s no point in trying to fight it anymore and let yourself succumb to the lusty haze in your head. “Please ‘Teyam, I need you” you beg him. There was no denying that hearing his name dance across your tongue was enticing to him. Soon, Neteyam found himself wanting to give in too. Watching you writing in lustful agony in front of him was too much for him to bear. He ponders on it for a moment before letting himself give in to you. “Fine.”

You felt such relief wash over you once he agreed to help you. You untied the strings to your top and let it fall off to the side on the floor. Neteyam froze in the middle of untying his own loincloth at the sight of your breasts which were noticeably larger and more shapely than typical na’vi. You hurriedly shimmy out of your own cloth and flip over to your stomach. You hold your hips up into the air on your knees with your face still on the floor. You can feel something warm running down the length of your thigh and you surprise even yourself with how wet you are. Neteyam is stuck in awe seeing you like this. Without the loincloth in the way, he can smell your pheromones even more clearly and it makes him lick his lips in anticipation. Unable to wait one more second, your tail drags along Neteyam’s jaw and pulls him closer to you until you can feel the tip touching your opening. Your body purrs in waiting and that drives Neteyam mad. He slides in you inch by inch letting you get used to the stretch and every inch feels like a jolt of electricity throughout your body. By the time he’s all the way in, you swear you could cum right then and there. Your body can’t even wait for him to start moving so you start to throw your hips back into him giving your body the friction that you were craving. Neteyam holds on to your hips to steady himself and he squeezes his eyes closed trying to focus on not cumming inside of you so soon. Once he gets ahold of himself, he bucks his hips forward into you finally matching your movements. He opens his eyes and the sight of your ass falling back onto his dick over and over again makes him let out a low groan. He felt the need to have you completely. He wanted to be the only one to ever see you like this. The only one to ever touch you like this. The only one to make you feel like this.

All the pain is gone from your core leaving behind pure ecstasy. You’ve never felt need like this. You turn your face to the side so that you can look back at Neteyam hearing the constant smack of your hips against his. Neteyam looks down at your face and what a sight you were. Tongue hanging out while you moan and pant with every thrust, eyes nearly crossing unable to focus, a string of drool falling from the corner of you perfectly full lips, and your hair an absolute mess. “You’ve never looked more gorgeous than right now.”

His words of praise make your ears feel hot as his words dance around them. You needed that. “More. More please Neteyam.” You plead trying to focus your vision on his face, but it was no use. Your body wouldn’t listen to you.

Hearing you beg for more praise makes Neteyam feel this sense of pleasure that he didn’t know he could feel. He wanted to shower you with the sweetest of words like rain. “You feel so good.” His grip on your hips tightens. “Fuck, you make me want to give you everything.”

“Oh shit, Neteyam..I’m almost there!” you practically scream as you feel the pressure building in your body. Neteyam is close too, but he’s going to make sure that you get yours first. He grabs your wrists and holds them behind your back with one hand and he pulls you up so that your back meets his chest. The angle makes it so that he’s hitting exactly where your soft spot is. His free hand comes around the front of your body to grope one of your breasts. You catch a glimpse of the sight in the mirror across the room and it’s so lewd, but so…hot. It’s enough to get you to that sweet release you were chasing and you let it out all over Neteyam.

“Oh fuck, that is hot” he says admiring the mess you made on him. Between the sounds of your sweet moans and your walls still clenching around him from your orgasm, it’s exactly what he needs to get there. “I’m almost there. Should I take it out?” he asks you trying to be respectful, but the thought of him pulling out of you now damn near makes you panic. “No! Please don’t take it out!” You tell him. “B-but if I don’t then—” you cut him off. “I know, but I need it Neteyam. I need this” you practically have tears in your eyes at this point. Neteyam can’t hold it off any longer. ‘Fuck it’. He thrusts into you harder than before and releases inside of you. It feels thick and burning hot, but it satiates the aching hunger you felt earlier.

Neteyam releases his hold on you and you fall limp onto the floor. “Are you okay?” he asks making sure you’re not hurt. You squeak out a weak ‘mhm’ and lay there catching your breath. You feel him start to slide out of you slowly and your tail instinctively wraps around his thigh begging him to leave it in for a little while longer. You’re afraid that the pain will come again if he leaves you. He sighs and carefully lays down next to you being sure not to let himself come out of you yet wrapping one arm around your waist. He waits until you fall asleep before pulling out of you. Even in your sleep, your body can recognize the sudden emptiness and it makes you flinch. Your eyes flutter open to see his face studying yours. “Sorry ‘Teyam.” You say above a whisper feeling ashamed and embarrassed about what you asked of him. He brings one hand up to cup your face and lightly kisses your forehead, “Don’t be.”

“I do have to get home, though. If I stay here too long, your pheromones will drive me to do something crazy again.” He states.

You snake your tail around his waist holding him in place and you ask, “Would that be such a bad thing?” looking up into his eyes.

And you can feel him stiffen again at your suggestion. This was going to be a long couple of days.

[z-ancunin]

Fatal Touch (SCP 049 x Reader) Part 1🧡

| SCP 049 x fem!reader | Warnings: brief mentions of death and medical procedures (no blood). Part 1 of a series, NSFW in the later parts. You have been invited to an interview with the infamous SCP 049, aka, The Plague Doctor. Will you become another one of the doctors so-called "patients" or perhaps something more? |

Today was your first interview with a sentient SCP since you’d been hired. You had worked here for close to a year but had only really interacted with SCP’s in the “Safe” class. From what your boss told you, this anomaly was a class “Euclid”. Even though you had only graduated 5 years ago, your resume and good grades were enough to turn a few heads. The interview process was extensive to say the least, there were countless interviews, background checks, drug screenings, and even a lie detector test before the hiring paperwork (and an NDA) were slid across the table towards you. The pay was fairly decent, even if the hours were long. You hadn’t really bothered to make friends with any of your colleagues either. Almost everyone was very secretive of their personal life, which was understandable given the nature of your work. You just kept things cordial with every staff member you interacted with, and left out the bonding part. As you settled into your office for the day, you took a sip of your coffee and turned on your computer. As the screen lit up, you unpacked your bag and set everything out on your desk. You took out your notebook, several black pens, your company issued tablet, and a few snacks to get you through to your lunch break. While you were laying out your materials, you were interrupted by a knock at your office door.

“Come in,” you looked up to see your supervisor, Dr. Itkin with a file in his hand. “Hi Dr. Itkin, good to see you.”

“Good morning Y/N, how are you doing?”

You gave a small smile. “Good, I’m excited for this opportunity, thank you again for choosing me.”

“Of course, it’s high time you got to do some research on something more interesting. You’ve proven yourself to be quite a promising researcher, so you were an obvious first choice. I’ve got the file on the SCP that we will be interviewing for today.” Dr. Itkin lifted the folder he was holding in his hand.

Which SCP is it?” you asked as he handed you the file.

“SCP-049, a highly intelligent Euclid class that has been at our facility for roughly 8 months. It resembles a medieval plague doctor and seems to be obsessed with something that it calls “the pestilence”, although it has yet to completely identify what this pestilence is.” Dr. Itkin adjusts his glasses. “That file has all the information we’ve gathered on it so far. The interview is scheduled for 1300 hours in Research Sector 2, Site 19.” 

You opened the file and briefly scanned the pages. You noticed the photo of SCP 049 immediately. It did resemble a plague doctor from the 12th Century, its face was covered by a large beaked mask and a black hooded robe. But what drew you in were its eyes. They pierced your soul and made your hair on your arms stand up. You looked up and nodded at Dr. Itkin. “I look forward to it! Thank you doctor, I’ll see you soon.”

Dr. Itkin nodded and left the room, the sound of his shoes fading down the hallway.

You opened the file in front of you and began reading in depth about this SCP. The more you read, the more you felt sorry for it. Being taken away from its homeland and brought here with little to no resources to conduct experiments seemed rather cruel. Surely the foundation didn’t plan on letting 049 return home, so it would be stuck here for as long as the foundation was around. Not to mention, it seemed fairly intelligent so being imprisoned was probably very boring. You were also intrigued by the deadly touch that it possessed, as any subject that came into contact with it was killed instantaneously and operated on, becoming a zombie-like creature that the Foundation called ‘SCP 049-2’. You just hoped that you wouldn’t do anything to cause it to use its power on you. As you flipped through more of the pages, you came across an incident report that was dated 3 weeks ago. According to the report, SCP 049 had a scheduled interview with Dr. [REDACTED] when it suddenly became agitated and killed said doctor, claiming that he was sick and needed to be cured. Due to a lapse in security, Dr. [REDACTED]’s body was not found until several hours later, where it had been turned into an instance of SCP 049-2. Your mind began racing and you felt your heart rate spike. What pestilence did 049 detect, if any, and would it try to cure you too?

As the time grew closer, you started gathering your things and headed to Site 19. You couldn’t deny that your nerves were on edge as you grabbed your notebook and pens, but you also couldn’t ignore the intrigue. As frightening as SCP 049 sounded, you were also genuinely curious and wanted to learn more firsthand. As you strolled down the hallway and towards the elevators, you noticed several guards and a D class personnel headed in that direction as well.

“Keep moving.” one of the guards snapped and shoved the man in the orange jumpsuit forward. They stopped outside the elevator doors and the guard to the left pressed the elevator button down and waited. “Going down, miss?” he asked as you approached.

“Uh yes, I think so. I’m supposed to report to Site 19. I’m looking for SCP 049’s containment area, do you know where I can find it?”

All three guards froze and turned towards you. Your face immediately became flush and you cleared your throat. “What’s wrong?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly.

None of the guards spoke up, and with their faces completely covered, you weren’t able to see what their reactions were. 

“049 is a…special anomaly.” one of the guards began. “It allegedly killed two D class when they were sent in for experimentation and five more personnel when it breached containment, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

You swallowed hard. He must be referring to the containment breach incident from a few weeks ago. The elevator door opened and the four men pilled in. Your feet felt suddenly made of lead but you forced yourself forward into the small metal box. The guard in front of the car operating panel pressed two buttons and the doors closed. No one said a word as the elevator moved down. You clutched your notebook with white knuckles and attempted to control your shallow breathing.

“Hey.” one of the guards spoke up.

You looked over your shoulder, your fear probably written all over your face. 

“You’ll take this down to two floors and then make a left. You’ll be fine, as long as you stay away from it. Don’t let it get too close, I’m sure you know what will happen. Just be smart and stay on high alert.”

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. You had reached your destination, but your feet were still heavy and you were having a hard time getting your body to move.

“This is your stop. Good luck.” the same guard said and held the door open for you.

C’mon Y/N, you just need to move. It’ll be over soon and then you can go back to your office.

You nodded and whispered a small thanks as you stepped into the hallway and turned left. You didn’t bother looking back in the elevator, you knew you’d be too tempted to run straight back in. Your nerves were all over the place as you grew closer, Dr. Itkin was waiting outside with a clipboard in his hand. He looked up at you and waved.

“Y/N! Right on time. Did you have enough time to read through the file I gave you?”

You nodded vigorously. “Yes, thank you doctor. It was quite informative.”

“You seem a bit nervous, do you still wish to accompany me?”

You knew that backing out wasn’t exactly an option at this point, you’d already read the file and if you refused The Foundation would most likely have your memory wiped due to the sensitive information you had read. Besides, you felt the need to prove yourself as one of the newest researchers at the facility. “Yes I do. I’m just nervous since this is my first intelligent anomaly I’ll be interacting with.” you lied through your teeth. “But I’m not going to let those nerves stop me, I’m eager to learn.”

Dr. Itkin smiled. “I’m glad to hear you’re still on board. Let’s head in then, shall we?”

You followed him into a dimly lit room where there were several people in white lab coats talking amongst themselves or working on computers. There were also two guards with assault rifles posted outside the door inside. It looked a lot like a prison interrogation room, it even had the two sided glass so the people in the room couldn’t see out but those on the outside could see in. Through the window you saw SCP 049 sitting at a long metal table. Two chairs were seated on the opposite side of the table. SCP 049’ wrists were chained to the table so it couldn't move them. Its head was down so you couldn’t see its face. You wondered if the beak was part of its face or just a mask, and if it was only a mask, you wondered what it looked like underneath it. Dr. Itkin approached the door leading to the interrogation room and swiped his keycard. The door light turned green and slid open. 

“Dr. Itkin, how pleasant to see you again.” SCP 049 hummed, lifting its head and tilting it to the side. The humanoid figure sat across from you and Dr. Itkin, its wrists restrained in chains that were connected to the table. His gaze slid over to you and you felt chills run down your spine. “And, who might you be?”

“My name is Y/N, and you are?” you said politely.

“Ravi de te rencontrer chérie (Lovely to meet you dear). I have had many names across the years, but you may call me doctor. You are new here Y/N, or at the very least I have not seen you in this part of the facility. What brought you here?”

You recognized the doctor’s switch to French briefly in your conversation and it made you wonder what he had said. “I’m a new researcher. My speciality is in microbiology and chemistry. Was that French you just spoke?” you asked.

“Yes, it is my preferred language, although English will suffice. Curious, I have not met anyone here with a degree in microbiology. Your knowledge may prove useful in my research of the Pestilence. And you’re an aspiring scientist you say? Wonders abound.” 049 mused. “I see a very bright future ahead of you. Your eyes hold that spark of curiosity that is so often lost in this field. It can be hard to hold onto that spark, but keep the fire lit and you will go far.” 049 nodded. 

You felt a small bit of heat rise to your cheeks, but managed to maintain your composure. “Thank you, doctor.” you said, your voice wavering slightly. What the hell had gotten into you? This was a highly dangerous and intelligent creature and here you were with butterflies in your stomach from the kindness of his words.

“Now, tell me Dr. Itkin. What brings you to my containment cell?” SCP turned towards your boss, his eyes trained on him.

“I wanted to check and see how your research has been going. We’ve seen you perform several…operations on the test subjects that were provided to you in the past, but we are no closer to understanding this pestilence you speak of. Have you any new developments to share?”

049 huffed and laced its fingers together, the chains of the wrist restraints jingling with the movement. “Well doctor, it might be more useful to provide me with more human test subjects like before instead of the mammalian cadavers. It has been some time since I was afforded a live patient and I would like to resume that schedule if possible. The pestilence affects humans, and that is where my interests lie. I cannot cure what is not sick nor what is already deceased.”

Dr. Itkin sighed and shook his head. “049 your recent behavior is partly the reason why we have not given you any more human subjects. Your breach of containment recently was unacceptable and several lives were lost. Not to mention the death of Dr. Hamm. You must understand that if you do not cooperate, you will not be permitted to continue your experiments. You have already lost most of your privileges and you will continue to lose more.” 

“Those people were sick, very sick and incredibly contagious. I did you and this whole facility a favor by curing them.” 049 said matter-of-factly.

“I’m sorry 049, but it doesn’t seem like this “cure” of yours is a very good one. Those who have been touched by you are never the same.” Dr. Itkin said, his voice a bit sadder than before. It seems Dr. Hamm’s death was still weighing on him.

049 was about to say something in response when you spoke up.

“Doctor, if I may,” you began. “How would one know if they had been exposed to this sickness?”

049’s face was covered by the mask and hood it wore, but you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of surprise in its eyes when you asked your question. Almost like no one else had thought to ask. 

“What a wonderful question dear Y/N, you see I have the ability to detect the pestilence in any living creature. Perhaps it is a divine gift or perhaps it’s due to the many years I have spent studying it. In any case, I am always able to tell when someone is infected, even if they themselves do not feel any different.”

You nodded and took down a few notes as 049 spoke. “Do you detect any of the pestilence in me, doctor?” 

049 leaned in closer, and you felt your whole body go cold. There was something unsettling about the entity, but something drew you in too. You didn’t know whether or not to run away or lean in as well. 

049’s eyes scanned up and down your entire body, lingering for just a brief moment on your lips before resuming eye contact with you. “I do not. You are perfectly healthy, as is Dr. Itkin.” 049 stated. 

You smiled. “That’s good. I will hopefully do my best to keep it that way. Perhaps if it would help, maybe we could take a look at some cells from an infected person under a microscope? I’d be very interested to see if the pestilence mutates any of the living cells.” Even though you still knew next to nothing about this disease, you could tell that it meant a great deal to 049, and if you could help advance its research you would be happy to help. 

049 chuckled and you could hear a smile in its voice despite not seeing its mouth. “You are quite different from anyone I’ve met here, Miss Y/N. That spark I noted earlier, I can see you crave knowledge as do I. Perhaps you would like to be my progeny someday? Learn by my side and help me eradicate this disease once and for all?”

Dr. Itkin’s walkie-talkie beeped and a muffled voice came through the speaker.

“Dr. Itkin, please exit the interview area and bring Y/N with you.”

“Affirmative. Y/N, we will have to cut this conversation short, we’ve been instructed to leave.”

You nodded and grabbed your notebook, slightly disappointed that your conversation had been cut short. “It was nice to meet you doctor, I look forward to speaking more.” you gave him a small smile and nodded your head as you pushed in your chair.

“As do I. Au revoir ma chérie, s'il te plaît, porte-toi bien (Goodbye my dear, please be well).” 049 said in his native dialect.

You followed Dr. Hamm out the door and back into the observation room where you first entered. All eyes were trained on you, and it made heat rush to your cheeks as you squeezed your notebook tighter.

“Y/N? My name is Dr. Isaac, good to meet you.” the man extended his hand towards you and you shook it.

“Nice to meet you too. How can I help?”

“We were observing your interview with SCP 049 and noticed that he seems to have taken a liking to you.” Dr. Isaac gestured to the other people in lab coats across the room who were all watching you. “After the containment breach, 049 has been much quieter and more withdrawn. But today was different. He seemed to be more animated and talkative with you. We think your presence could be beneficial in finally learning what this Pestilence is that he seems so obsessed with. So, what do you say? Would you be up for weekly interviews with SCP 049?”

You were shocked. You’d only had one conversation with the doctor, but you also couldn’t deny that you had felt…something when you two were talking. His presence drew you in, while your mind screamed to turn and run. And yet…

“Yes, I’ll do it.” you answered after a moment of silence. When do I start?”

[beom-pyu]

truth or drink! (my ex + my boyfriend): choi beomgyu + kang taehyun

part 2 of the truth or drink series! i'm addicited to writing these omg

other parts: yeonjun "couples edition" soobin "engaged edition" kai "blind date edition"

slightly nsfw! (minors dni.)

welcome to truth or drink! y/n’s ex and boyfriend will ask each other a set of random questions. they can either answer the question or take a shot.

“hi! i’m beomgyu, y/n’s ex.”

“i’m taehyun, y/n’s current partner.”

YOU: why did you agree to come here today?

BG: “you told me there would be free drinks so…”

YOU: “i knew you were gonna say that.”

BG: “also because it sounded interesting! i’ve known both of them for a few years, so i think it’ll be fun.”

YOU: and taehyun?

TH: “i know you’ve changed a lot since you were with beomgyu and i’m curious to see how things worked between you guys so i know what not to do.”

BG: “was that shade?”

YOU: “i’m pretty sure that was shade.”

taehyun just smiles and leans back in his seat.

how long have you dated, or have been dating y/n?

BG: “close to two years.”

TH: “five months.”

what’s the relationship between you guys?

TH: “i think we’re pretty civil? not as close as we used to be, but that happened kind of naturally.”

BG: “yeah, we hung out every now and then before i moved to a different city. i’d definitely say we’re friends, right?”

TH: “almost-friends.”

BG: “i’ll take it.”

shall we start?

BG: “wait, i’m gonna need a shot to get through this.”

TH: “cheers.”

taehyun pulls a card and immediately flips it back over.

BG: “you have to read it!”

TH: “anything but this one, god.”

BG: “you have to take five shots if you don’t read it.”

taehyun squints, but gives in anyways.

TAEHYUN: what would it take to have a threesome with us?

BG: “maybe like $15 and a big mac combo?”

YOU: “how do you feel about that, taehyun?”

TH: “immediately no.”

BG: have you ever been jealous of me?

TH: “i’ll be honest. i used to be a little jealous.”

BG: “of me? i’m surprised.”

TH: “you guys were still close after your break up, so it felt a little weird when we started dating.”

YOU: “this is news to me too.”

TH: “it was more so my own insecurities rather than jealousy, really.”

BG: “no, i’m gonna hold on to this forever. the kang taehyun was jealous of me!”

TH: “okay, moving on.”

TH: what’s something you taught them in bed that i’m benefitting from?

BG: “oh! i definitely taught them how to deep throat. it was rough in the beginning.”

YOU: “i’m still embarrassed.”

TH: “don’t worry baby, you’re doing great.”

BG: “yea, thanks to me!”

BG: why do you think i wasn’t a good match for my ex?

TH: “you guys are polar opposites. your personalities clash too much.”

BG: “yeah, i’d agree with that."

TH: "also you're too soft."

BG: "i'm not soft!"

YOU: "you're a little soft."

BG: "are you guys like teaming up on me or something?"

taehyun shrugs and you giggle under your breath.

TH: why do you think your ex likes me?

BG: “you got your shit together, man. like, you have the soul of a 45-year-old, i’m not joking.”

TH: “i’m gonna take that as a compliment...?"

BG: "whatever makes you happy."

BG: how have i affected your partner’s life, for better or for worse?

TH: “hm... i feel like you taught them a lot of life lessons. you guys dated when you were, what.. 19, 20?”

BG: “yeah, we were both really young, so i think we learned a lot from each other.”

you nod at the camera with a little smile and a thumbs up.

TH: did you ever hook up with my partner after we started dating?

BG: “nope. i don’t do shit like that.”

YOU: “yup. i’m completely satisfied with taehyun in bed.”

BG: “swiftly moving on!”

BG: have you two come close to breaking up? if so, what happened?

TH: “pass me the bottle.”

YOU: “no, no, go ahead. answer the question.”

TH: “okay, we broke up after the first two weeks, but we got back together the next day.”

BG: “i need the details, you can’t just leave it at that.”

TH: “i wanted to focus on grad school and i thought i couldn’t make time for a relationship, but i realized i couldn’t lose y/n, so we worked things out.”

BG: "okay romeo and juliet."

YOU: "that's not even how the story goes."

BG: "it's up for interpretation."

TH: is there any part of you that’s not over the breakup? any regrets?

BG: “our friendship definitely took a hit after breaking up and i really regret losing them as an important person in my life. i think i was very immature and didn’t really know exactly what i wanted at the time, so i took my emotions out on them. i was trying to pursue a relationship while still trying to figure myself out.”

YOU: “i think i was the same way. you were my first serious relationship, so it was pretty rocky and i definitely have a lot of regrets, but we both grew from it.”

BG: has my ex ever talked about our sex life with you. if so, what did they say about me?

taehyun swiftly fills up his shot glass.

BG: “what did you say?!”

YOU: “too much, apparently.”

taehyun nods in agreement before downing the shot.

TH: on a scale of one to ten, how good was the sex?

BG: “uhhh…”

beomgyu reaches for the bottle.

YOU: “i didn’t think it was that bad, oh my god.”

TH: “well, i can say you’ve definitely improved, then.”

BG: “i’m taking another shot.”

BG: who’s hotter, you or me?

TH: “you.”

BG: “i was gonna say you’re hotter!”

TH: “well, let’s ask the audience.”

they both turn towards you with expectant looks.

...

YOU: “am i allowed to take a shot too?”

TH: do you think i’m a good match for my partner, and can you ever see us in a long-term relationship?

BG: “you guys are probably one of the healthiest couples i know. it’s actually kind of freaky how well you guys go together.”

you can’t help the little smile that forms on your

face. 

BG: “you definitely show y/n how much they deserve to be loved and i can see that you are both really happy. tae-y/n for life!”

TH: “that was actually kind of sweet. i wasn’t expecting this.”

BG: “i can be a cutie pie when i want to be.”

TH: “okay, that’s enough of that.”

how were the questions?

BG: "honestly a little awkward, but they weren't as bad as i thought they were gonna be."

taehyun silently nods in agreement.

do you think you're officially friends after this?

TH: "not really—"

BG: "yes—wow..."

TH: "we're cool, though."

BG: "hey, no hard feelings. wait, producer, can i take this bottle home? really? thank you!"

[littlestarbigsky]

alright gang time to talk abt the parry dads au🫶🏻

i’ve kinda touched on this au before (check the au in the tags if you’re curious lol) but i’ve been cooking with this au for a MINUTE,, like i’ve been yapping abt this w @youllneverseeonascreen since like,, november lmao

pls send asks abt this au i could actually talk about it forever i fear

alright let’s go‼️

it was after the rumble (and for my own sanity, johnny and dally are both still alive :p ) but paul, 19 years old and sick of college, was sitting in the diner, having just seen darry for the first time in two years and his ass kicked by a bunch of hoods. he was angry, desperate, and stupid.

he found a girl at the bar, the prettiest one he could get, eliza, and he started talking to her. one thing led to another, they laughed, they kissed, they went home together. things escalated, and two months later, eliza called to tell him she was pregnant.

things moved quickly after that. she dropped out of school to have the baby, they moved in together, had a quiet wedding, and paul got a job to try and be a breadwinner for the family. they figure out pretty fast that neither of them swing that way (iykyk) but maybe they could commit to each other. he was still trying to get his business degree so he could join his father’s company, even if he wasn’t sure he even wanted that. still, they were happy. loved eliza, or at least he was pretty sure he did. even though nothing compares to what he used to feel, but he can’t have that anymore.

everything changed the day his little girl, stella, was born, six weeks early and fighting from day one. she was a week old before he even got to hold her, and his sole focus was to do anything he could for her, not realizing that eliza had become completely withdrawn. she stopped caring about paul and the baby. this baby was going to be messed up forever and she wouldn’t let herself get caught up in it.

paul though? he was with the baby every minute of the day, sleeping in chairs and on waiting room sofas, signing off on whatever medicines and treatments the doctors recommended, she was going to get through this, he needed her to. her lungs weren’t fully developed, and her fine motor skills would be affected, and she was just tiny.

but, of course, she made it through. they brought her home, eliza doing just enough to be considered a mom, but paul did all of her breathing treatments and took her to physical therapy once a week. when she was old enough to start talking and had a stutter, he took her to speech therapy. he worked on helping her to use her fingers and hands, coloring, working on puzzles, anything he could to keep her from falling further behind.

fast forward a few years…

i’ve always imagined paul had a sister who was much older (her names penny,, ive also done a whole info dump on her lmao) and her apartment complex was having some exterior work done, and she recognized darry within about three seconds. “hey, you’re the kid my idiot brother kept trying to sneak out in the morning, right?”

darry didn’t know what to say, because really, he had expected penny to hate his guts, but the next time paul was over, she waved him down and had him come over to say hi. the tension in the room was other worldly, what can a person say after 5 years? and truthfully, they don’t get the chance to, because stella comes sprinting out and jumps on darry, thinking he’s her dad. she jumps right back when she realizes he isn’t and paul picks her up and calmly tells her that darry is an old friend, and that he doesn’t mind.

penny makes lunch, insisting that darry stay (and also because she is thoroughly enjoying watching the two of them and how uncomfortable they are). eventually, paul asks penny if she can watch stella while he is in court. darry asks why he needs to go, and he explains that he’s getting divorced and that he and eliza are in the middle of a nasty custody battle.

and without thinking, darry says he’ll watch her.

again, ask me literally anything you want to know abt this au,, i’m so obsessed UGH

[toasttt11]

relieved

March 19, 2020

Hayden has been sitting at the kitchen breakfast nook for a little while since she got back from her early morning run with Quinn and Ellen was in the kitchen when they got back from their run.

Hayden was sipping on a cup of coffee as she just enjoyed time with Quinn and Ellen as Ellen was working on making breakfast.

Jim came down a little while after and got his cup of coffee as well and sat down next to Quinn.

Hayden has been back in Michigan for only a few days but she loves it, she hasn’t even really cared about the fact her season is on pause because she gets to be at home with her family. Obviously she is worried about what is going on in the world right now but she got to be with her family.

Hayden smiled softly as Ellen slid a container of cut fruits to her and Quinn to snack on as Ellen finished making breakfast.

Hayden chuckled at something Quinn said as she picked up a strawberry as Jack and Luke both stumbled into the kitchen.

Hayden shared a fond look with Ellen not surprised the boys woke up once she started cooking bacon.

Luke quickly stole the chair next to Hayden and dragged the chair as close as possible to her and rested his head on her shoulder.

Jack pouted that Luke got to sit next to Hayden but sat down next to Luke and rested his head on the counter.

Ellen smiled as she looked at the four all waiting for breakfast and reminded her of the days they would wait for breakfast before school.

Ellen finished making breakfast and let everyone plate their plates and start eating breakfast.

“Anyone have any plans today?” Ellen asked her four kids as she finished up her breakfast. With being in quarantine there isn’t much they can do but she doesn’t know what they might have planned.

Quinn shook his head no, Jack just shrugged and Luke nodded saying he has to finish up some school work.

“Hay?” Ellen asked after the busy finished telling her if they had plans.

Hayden nodded, “Yeah i have therapy in a little bit.” Hayden nonchalantly said as she took another bite of her eggs.

The rest of the room paused at her words.

“Therapy?!” Ellen said pleasantly surprised.

Hayden looked up from her plate seeing the surprised looks and realized she never said anything, “Yeah i’ve been going for about a month now.” Hayden told her family.

Jack blinked and frowned slightly hating he doesn’t know everything going on in Hayden’s life anymore.

“That’s wonderful darling.” Ellen said happily sharing a relieved look with Jim realizing Hayden is trying to heal.

“Yeah i like it. She’s helping a lot.” Hayden admitted and she saw how relieved Jim and Ellen both were from her words.

“I’m very glad.” Ellen spoke sounding very relieved. All she wanted was for Hayden to be truly happy again and she knows that is all Harrison and Maddison want to.

“My therapist suggested to try and make some changes to the house so Lauren is helping me.” Hayden told Jim and Ellen mainly, she felt kinda bad she didn’t tell any of them about therapy yet.

Ellen let out a sigh of relief, “That’s a great idea.” Ellen has noticed how hard it has been on Hayden being in the house filled of reminders of her parents. She could never repay Lauren for what she is doing for Hayden.

Hayden smiled softly back before Luke tugged on her hand wanting her full attention.

Jim squeezed Ellen’s hand seeing her blinking back tears from being so relieved that Hayden is slowly getting better and healing.

Hayden walked out side after she finished eating as she wanted to get some fresh air and sit in the sun for a few minutes.

Jack walked out of the house following after Hayden who sitting out on the balcony, he walked over and sat down next to her leaning his head on her shoulder.

Hayden rested her head on top of Jack’s head letting out a soft sigh.

“It was shit without you.” Jack bluntly told Hayden. He hated his rookie year. He was in one of the worse places he has ever been mentally and he was getting beat up every night on the ice. He played some of his worse games of his life this past season.

Hayden nodded softly, “It was shit without you too.” Hayden hated being away from her family and it was extremely hard to learn how to live without her family physically by her side. It was also just as hard to play on the ice without Jack.

“I’m sorry your rookie year was shit.” Jack sincerely told Hayden making her let out for snicker.

“I’m sorry yours was too.” Hayden told him sincerely back making Jack chuckle too.

Jack held onto Hayden’s hand as his chuckles died down, “Promise me we won’t let ourselves get that distance ever again.” Jack mumbled never wanting to feel that apart from his best friend ever again.

“I promise.” Hayden firmly reassured Jack. She was gonna be better at making sure she stayed close with everyone and make sure not to shut everyone out because she was in pain.

“Good because i’ll bug you even more to make sure.” Jack playfully teased her. Hayden just chuckled rolling her eyes knowing Jack would do that.

“You like it in Jersey?” Hayden asked curiously wanting Jack to be somewhere he likes and can be happy.

“I do.” Jack nodded honestly, he may of been having the worse season but he really does love New Jersey and could see the city easily becoming his home.

“Good.” Hayden nodded relieved just wanting Jack to be happy.

“You like being back in Edmonton?” Jack asked her back, knowing that she has had a hard time being in her childhood house but he knows she has always loved Edmonton.

“I think i’ll like it more whenever i go back.” Hayden told him honestly, it was hard to live the city how she used to because of all the memories there especially her house.

"Good.” Jack mumbled back closing his eyes enjoying being able to be close to Hayden again, mentally and physically.

[inawickedlittletown]

We've Got A Long Way To Go (BuckTommy) -19/22

Summary: A few months after the break up, Buck picks up a call that changes everything. Tommy has his own regrets, and an unexpected meeting and a change in Buck's life will bring them together. Fix-it fic. Words: 3.1k Read on Ao3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18

-

Chapter Nineteen

“That is the last box,” Maddie announced even though she wasn’t the one carrying it. 

Chim put it down with the other boxes in the living room and Buck smiled gratefully at them. He was moved in, if not unpacked. When they packed the last of his stuff into his car and Maddie’s car he had gone and turned in his key. His lease hadn’t been a pain to get out of at least, but Buck suspected that was more to do with how good of a deal Ali had gotten him on the apartment. With Buck moving out, they could charge the next person more. 

“Where’s Lucas?” Maddie asked. 

“Down for a nap,” Buck said motioning to the sofa.

He was keeping Connor and Kameron’s sectional. It was a lot more comfortable than his couch, bigger too. Buck had figured that eventually he would probably get a new set, but it was going to do for the time being. So, he’d added the couch from his loft to the furniture he was donating. Everything had been picked up just a few days earlier and Buck could admit that the place already looked a little different without all of that stuff. His armchair he’d brought with him and Buck thought it fit in fine. An accent piece. 

“Aww, he’s so sweet,” Maddie said. 

Lucas was on his stomach, his teddy bear was dangling off the couch and the blanket Buck had placed on him had slipped off him a little. His cheeks were rudy pink. They all took a moment to just watch him and it was hard for Buck to tear his eyes away. 

It wasn’t always easy. Buck had known that it wouldn’t be, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for things like Lucas getting upset and just crying without stopping for no reason at all. Or how messy things could get. Buck couldn’t wait to get him potty trained but from everything he read it was going to be an undertaking. There were nights when no matter what he did, Lucas just couldn’t fall asleep. Bathtime was still a thing for Buck to dread so he’d only been bathing him when he really needed it. He’d even tried to give Lucas a shower once, but it had wound up in Lucas running out wet and nude through the loft, his cast just barely wrapped up in cellophane and a plastic bag. He’d dripped water absolutely everywhere and he was a slippery little thing that Buck just couldn’t grab ahold of. Tommy had arrived just in time to see Buck catch a giggly Lucas. 

“Well, you’re moved in, Buck,” Chim said. “How does it feel?” 

“I don’t know. A little strange. Still feels like their house, you know, but it’s getting there.” 

“That will get better once you make it your own,” Maddie said. “Once your stuff is out of boxes and you settle in.” 

“I guess,” Buck said. “And thank you guys for coming today. Tommy was supposed to help with the last of it but he got called in.” 

“The number of times you’ve helped me move, Buck, of course we’re here.” Maddie said.  

Maddie and Chim hung around helping him unpack, Chim only leaving to go pick up Jee-Yun from the Lees. 

“I’m proud of you,” Maddie said. “I know I had my concerns, but clearly I was wrong. You’re doing really well with him.”

“Thanks, Maddie. I mean, half the time I’m questioning every decision I make, but it’s also been kind of great. I couldn’t imagine not having him around, you know? I’ve been thinking about how to tell mom and dad about it.” 

Maddie, who had been putting Buck’s dishes away turned right around to look at him. “You haven’t told them yet?” 

He’d been thinking about them a lot since his talk with Tommy, but he still hadn’t called them. 

“I’ve been a little busy,” Buck said. “And anyway, you know how they are, they would have demanded to come and meet him and everything and I just wanted some time. Now that I’m moved in…have you talked to them lately?” 

Maddie nodded. “They facetime to see Jee every other week or so and I talk to them a little when they do. They’ve been talking about coming out to visit soon. Buck, you have to tell them before then.” 

“I know.” 

“I thought things were getting better between you guys?” 

They had gone to two therapy sessions back when Maddie was pregnant with Jee and gotten everything out about Daniel and how Buck had felt growing up. His loneliness. How they never showed up for him or even liked him. It wasn’t enough by a long shot to deal with all of their issues, but Buck could admit that things had changed after that. At least enough so that they could get along and they just never talked about any of it again. 

His dad emailed him sometimes, it seemed to be his favorite form of communication. The last time Buck had seen either of them was during Maddie’s wedding. They hadn’t even really talked about Tommy — neither of them had met him properly and unless Maddie had told them they didn’t even know they had broken up or gotten back together. The distance that they kept from one another was deliberate and Buck didn’t think anything would ever change. 

“I’ll never be as close to them as you are, Maddie,” he said. “That’s just the way it is. I don’t mind it. It just is, but this is something they should know. Do you think they’ll pick up if I call them now?” 

Maddie set down the plates. “Are you sure?” 

Buck took a breath. “Yes. You’re here so that helps and Chim won’t be that much longer before he gets back with Jee and—”

“And you’ll use my daughter as a distraction?” Maddie asked, rolling her eyes but laughing. 

“Yes.” 

“If you’re sure,” Maddie said. 

Buck pulled out his phone, took a moment to check on Lucas and then went to his contacts. Hesitated before calling. They didn’t even give him a chance to take a moment while it rang because his mom picked up on the first ring, her face taking up the whole screen before she pulled back. 

“Evan?” she asked. “Are you alright? Is Maddie okay?” 

“We’re fine, mom,” Buck said and decided to ignore that she’d used his first name. “Everyone is fine. No injuries. No hospital visits.” 

Well, Lucas did still have a cast on his arm.

“Oh. Good. That’s good.” 

“Mom, I have news. Is dad around?” 

So far so good. He saw her nod. “I’ll get him.” 

Buck looked over to where Maddie was watching him. She gave him a thumbs up. Buck took a breath. Maybe he should have just emailed them. He paced a little and then heard footsteps and his father’s voice. 

“Ev— Buck, your mother says you have news for us.” 

“I do,” Buck said. “Do you remember when my friends were having trouble having a baby?” 

They shared a look and nodded. “Are you helping them again?” his father asked. 

“Well, it’s actually…about a month ago they were in a car accident.” 

His mom gasped audibly, hand immediately covering her mouth. Buck saw the way his dad wrapped an arm around her. Buck had never really been too focused on his parent’s relationship, but there had to be something to the fact that they were still somehow together despite losing a child. They might have dropped their parenting duties, but they had somehow managed to hold onto each other. 

“Connor and Kameron didn’t make it, but Lucas did,” Buck said. “The hospital called me because they don’t have any family.” 

“Lucas is…their son? The poor dear,” his mom said. 

“Is he going to foster care?” his dad asked. 

“Ah. No,” Buck said. “I’m his biological father so I’m taking custody of him. I already did.” 

Neither of them said anything. Buck looked over to Maddie who had continued unpacking for him, but stopped again. She moved closer as if ready to take over at any moment. 

“Evan, that’s…I don’t know what to say. We don’t know what to say,” his dad said. 

Buck took a breath. He heard the front door open and close. 

“I just wanted you guys to know,” Buck said. “He’s doing pretty good so far. I’d love for you guys to meet him.” 

“Oh,” his mom said. “Yes, that…yes.”

She looked a little shocked, like she hadn’t expected Buck to give them even that. 

“He’s our grandson, of course we want to meet him. How are you doing with all of this, Evan? And oh, your apartment can’t be big enough for that. You’ll need to move. Have you bought everything you need? How can we help?” 

“Mom, we’re okay. They left their house to him so we’re moving in there.”

His mom frowned at that. “Is that the best idea? What does he remember, won’t that be harder on him?” 

Buck shook his head. “It’s actually okay. He loves it here. He has his stuff and his room. It’s an adjustment, but it’s working out. I just didn’t want to keep this from you. It’s a big change, but it’s going well so far.” 

“Good, that’s good,” his dad said. “It’s great that you stepped up, Buck.”

“Oh. Thank you.” 

Buck hadn’t known the relief he would feel at hearing that from his father. They were definitely taking it far better than Buck could have expected. He had expected them to question his choices and have doubts that he could do it. He wasn’t expecting them to react positively. 

“How is he?” his mom asked. 

“Lucas is great. He’s amazing.” 

“Uncle Buck!” Jee called just as Chim was trying to keep her quiet. 

“Come here, Jee, I’m talking to your grandma and grandpa.” 

Buck picked her up and she started waving at once, starting to ramble about her day. Buck passed her his phone and met Maddie’s eyes. She rolled them at him and Buck just shrugged back as he set Jee down on a chair. He heard his parents respond to Jee-Yun. 

“I think your kid is waking up, Buck,” Chim said. 

Sure enough, when he made it to the living room, Lucas was blinking awake. His teddy bear had fallen to the floor, so Buck picked it up for him. He heard Jee-Yun still talking and wondered if Lucas might have that kind of relationship with them. As difficult as his own relationship with his parents had been, Buck didn’t think he would mind if Lucas had a different one. A good one. So far they had been good grandparents and Buck wouldn’t get in the way of Lucas having that with them. He considered introducing them over the video call, but one look at Lucas made him give up that idea. 

Lucas was trying to rub at his eyes, but only accomplishing it with one hand because the other arm was still in a cast. His parents couldn’t see Lucas with a cast on, of that Buck was sure. 

“Good nap?” He asked Lucas. 

Lucas turned towards his voice. “Efan,” Lucas said, reaching for him, mouth curling up into a smile. 

Buck picked him up. “Hungry?” 

“Hungry,” Lucas repeated. 

-

Tommy was absolutely exhausted. He’d been woken up around 4am by his Captain, begging Tommy to go into work. One of the other pilots had come down with food poisoning and they were already one short as it was. Tommy hadn’t hesitated in saying yes despite how it meant that Evan would be on his own to move the last of his boxes to the house. All week they had been steadily moving his things over and unpacking what they could and Tommy was supposed to go over to get the last few boxes. 

He sent Evan a text as he gathered his things and hoped it didn’t wake him. When he arrived at Harbor, Tommy had barely managed to get changed before he was being sent out to help with a high rise fire. One of the stairwells had been cut off and people had been instructed to head to the roof. Tommy flew up there to transport them off the building. He was at the fire for hours, even going to help on the ground before he was needed to transport a couple of injured individuals. 

The rest of the day felt like someone somewhere had uttered the ‘Q’ word. Tommy wasn’t even in the air for most of the day. It was nonstop. Considering it was supposed to be his day off, it felt a lot worse. Prior to this shift he’d done two back to back shifts. With how busy he was, he barely even had time to talk to Evan or just check in on how moving in had gone. A part of him felt bad for leaving Evan on his own, but he also knew that when his Captain called it was with reason. 

By the time that he’d gone past twelve hours of work, all he’d managed to eat was a granola bar and that was just in a moment where he was waiting for someone to be loaded into the helicopter and because Lucy had handed him one. 

“Before you get hangry,” Lucy had said with a grin. 

Luckily, upon their return to Harbor, Tommy was given the okay to head out. Lucy, who was also coming off shift, walked out with him. 

“You know,” Lucy said, “you don’t have to say yes every time you get a call when you’re not on call.” 

“They sounded desperate.” 

“Because Thompson was throwing up in the bathroom and the first person they called didn’t pick up even though they actually were on call,” Lucy pointed out. “It’s not your fault Melton took some vacation days. They could have called anyone else, but because they know you’ll say yes every time they just rely on you being available.” 

“Force of habit,” Tommy said. 

It had especially gotten bad in the months when he and Evan had been broken up. Tommy had needed the distraction and work was the best way to take his mind off of Evan. He did probably have more flight hours than any other pilot at Harbor and just as much PTO saved up. As he climbed into his truck, he grabbed his phone. Evan had texted a few times, mostly pictures of Lucas, but also his bed with the new mattress set up in his room and a picture of him and Chim carrying boxes into the house. He called Evan and though it took a few rings, Evan did pick up. 

“Tommy,” he said. “Hi.” 

Hearing his voice soothed something in him. 

“Hi, Evan. Just heading home now. I’m so sorry I had to bail. How did everything go?” 

“Ongoing. Maddie and Chim helped me out. They’re actually still here, we were thinking about ordering dinner if you want to come by.” 

Tommy was tired and what his body wanted was to collapse onto his mattress for several hours, but the prospect of seeing Evan and Lucas was enough for him to agree. Twenty minutes later, he was pulling up in front of Evan’s house. If he let himself imagine it, this could be what it was like. Getting home from work to Evan and Lucas. His family. 

When he got to the door, it opened before he could even knock, Evan standing there with a small smile. Tommy pulled him into a kiss and Evan melted into him for a moment before grabbing his hand to lead him in. A pile of boxes lay broken down against one wall. 

“You guys have been busy,” Tommy said. 

“There’s actually not a lot left,” Buck said. 

“He had a system,” Howie said, bringing out more boxes. “But also not a lot of stuff. Hey, Tommy.” 

“I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow and still have boxes to unpack,” Buck said and they continued past Howie further into the house. 

It already looked a little different. The living room had gained plenty of Evan’s things already and right there in the middle of it on a shag rug that Tommy remembered Evan ordering just a few days earlier, were Lucas and Jee-Yun playing with a scattering of toys. The kids both looked up when he entered. 

“Tommy,” Lucas said and he pushed himself to his feet. 

“Hi, Tommy,” Jee-Yun said and waved. 

Lucas ran towards him and Tommy crouched to catch him, bringing him right into a hug. Lucas clung to him, his cast getting a little bit in the way. It wouldn’t be long for it to come off and he knew that Lucas was more than ready for that. Tommy was ready for it too. 

“Hi, Lucas.” 

“Hi,” Lucas said. “Where Tommy?” 

“I was at work,” Tommy said. “Remember, I told you the other day I was going to work? But I’m here now.” 

“Pway?” 

Tommy didn’t know that he would make it to the floor and then back up again. 

“How about you keep playing with Jee?” Evan asked. “She’s waiting for you. Dinner soon, alright?” 

“Pway later?” 

“Maybe Tommy can read you a story later before bedtime,” Evan said. “I mean, if you stay awake long enough.” The last was aimed at Tommy. 

Lucas nodded and motioned for Tommy to put him down. 

“Long day?” Howie asked. 

“Well it started at four in the morning, so yeah.” 

Howie let out a whistle. “That’s a rough one.” 

“You didn’t have to come,” Evan said. “If you need to rest—”

“Wanted to,” Tommy said. “Needed to. Missed you.” 

He hadn’t seen Evan in a few days mostly because he was on shift

Evan wrapped his arms around his middle and Tommy sank into it, grateful and happy. They stood like that for a while until Evan let go and pointed him to the couch. 

“Food will be here soon, you can rest until then.” 

Tommy didn’t even protest and maybe he did drift off for a little while, but he woke to Lucas poking his cheek and then Evan there picking Lucas up and pressing a kiss to the same exact spot on Tommy’s cheek, motioning him to follow. Maddie, Chim, and Jee-Yun were already at the table. Evan put Lucas in his high chair and turned back to smile at him. Tommy had never really had family, not after his mom passed. Even the attempts by his grandparents had never been enough before they too were gone. This felt like family. It felt like belonging and maybe Tommy might get to keep it. He definitely hoped so. 

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — JUAN “JUICE” ORTIZ.

A/N: Juice was always my man when it came to SOA and I’ll forever be traumatized and bitter over his storyline + how he was treated. That’s probably one of the reasons why I’ll never do a rewatch tbfh. In my mind he’s thriving and I’ve always wanted happiness for him and that’s what he’s gonna get here! Also my first time ever writing for this man so go easy on me although this is more HC (my version) form. Have a happy love day whether it’s with a significant other, family, friends, or just yourself! know that you’re always worthy and capable of receiving and giving love and not just on this one day of the year 🩷🫡

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + I’m using: 19. "can i see your hand?" / "sure, why?" / "so i can see how well it fits with mine." + 35. "let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"

જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩

When you got word from your mother that Juan was back in town for good, you had to see so for yourself.

January’s always been gloomy but when you came face to face with the man you haven’t seen in years at the front door of his mother’s, you wanted to collapse but managed to keep your composure.

Juan’s sad but somewhat still warm eyes are unsure at first, taking in your facial expression but you clear his concerns as you’re yanking him tightly to your body in a tender embrace.

And he feels like he might just break down himself in your arms.

You were just what he needed.

The both of you had to make up for lost time and Juan had to keep convincing you that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Things didn’t work out in his favor in California (little did you know, he barely made it out alive) and Juan never wanted you to visit, although your older brother and his girlfriend, Saskia lived out there—which means you took trips but in a sense you learned to accept that was Juan’s way of protecting you from the demons that latched onto his soul.

You couldn’t take it personally since Ms. Hilda, his mother never visited either but spoke to him every couple of months—which may have been hard or if not harder for her.

Although the both of your mother’s were good friends that didn’t mean the both of you didn’t have your share of childhood trauma’s (because of them) that bled into your adulthood.

Nonetheless the both of you spent a month reconnecting, taking each day by day as it took to rebuild a friendship.

It felt right having Juan back in your life and he can honestly say the same.

“I never knew how much I missed you until I saw your face again,” he said to you over the phone one night.

Juan’s always been a sweetheart and never had an issue expressing his love for you to the point many kids back in school questioned if you were dating.

It never happened but that didn’t mean Juan didn’t want it to yet you found yourself in a few relationships here and there. Which was brought up by your mother during a birthday dinner for your brother (who was visiting) that February.

“I find it hard to believe that you’re still single. I mean hell, when is anybody going to give me a grandchild?” Your mother chatted over a glass of Cabernet playfully glaring at your brother who cleared his throat before setting her eyes back on you, “You know I saw Marlon just the other day?”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at this. You’ve only been at the table for ten minutes, supposedly going over the menu and yet here your mother was worrying about children and your love life.

And she just had to bring your college ex into it.

“Really,” you gave faux interest as you viewed the entrees.

“Mhm. He’s been divorced for a few years now and he’s single. I even showed him a picture of you to see if he remembered you. He laughed about it and said he thought you were with Juan now.”

Your brother is coughing now on his own drink and his girlfriend of four years is patting him on the back.

Glancing to your right you stare at Juan rubbing at his face in thought, who mentally seemed to be having a tough day today. He stayed at your house last night and apologized over breakfast about how he got into these dark moods.

You assured him that he didn’t have to apologize for his feelings. Asking if he wanted to be your plus one tonight, only if it was up for it.

He’d push through it for you because he was devoted to being near you as much as possible since he didn’t want to lose anymore time with his best friend.

How would Marlon assume this? You’re turning back to your mother now, furrowed brows while you reply, “why did he think that?”

“He said he saw the both of you running around the park together. He wanted to say hi but you and Juan seemed to be racing and he didn’t want to interrupt.” Your mother informs, staring at you two underneath her eyelashes with her lips moving back to the rim of her glass.

This didn’t make you feel any sort of way because you also haven’t seen Marlon in years either. You weren’t really checking for him but—the breakup didnt turn sour—it was mutual! however it was interesting to see different perspectives on how people viewed you and Juan.

Juan was gone from New York by the time you both reached your early twenties and by then you were still with Marlon. Juan would visit up at school and hung out with you two a couple of times! even when Marlon tried to put him onto some college girls…there was a part of Juan that felt like he was guilty of something.

Even when he engaged in activities—sure it may have felt great in the moment but he always ended up feeling like shit since he wanted it to be you.

So yes you were part of the reason why he got out of New York and to find a better sense of direction for himself.

You’re shrugging your shoulders redirecting the conversation, “well..I’m sorry things didn’t work out with his wife.”

“Are you?”

“Mom! Chill.” Your brother stepped in which you were somewhat thankful for. Why were you always getting shit on when you knew it was on the tip of your mother’s tongue that your brother “should” be thinking about marriage since she hinted at you once before during your girl’s day.

Although you and your dad both were aware that your brother didn’t want to get married.

“I’m just saying you should think about it or what about that guy from high school? The funny looking one.”

“They were both goofy to me. Especially Stu.” Your brother snorted while you shielded your middle finger from your mother to direct at your sibling.

Your first boyfriend was senior year and he cheated on you with a redhead because he got dumped prior to asking you out. It made sense to him but definitely not to you.

Yeah that’s highschool stupidity for you!

Juan shuddered at the mention of your first boyfriend, “man that guy? He was ridiculously obnoxious in and outside of class and hung out with that other guy…the one who gave me serious serial killer vibes.”

“You did always say that,” you laughed to yourself and couldn’t deny it. You never wanted to be alone with Stu’s best friend at the time, the way his dark eyes bored into yours always made you feel uneasy.

“He’s harmless!” Stu would persuade you before always leaving you with him for at least a minute or two.

Your mother pried, “Well where is he now?”

“Hell if I know? Probably married to another redhead with three or four kids? Still possibly cheating? What is this, a walk down memory lane?”

Juan could sense you were getting agitated about this and placed his hand right above your knee which made you exhale.

Your mother is raising her hands, “I’m just looking out for you and your brother’s happiness. That’s all.”

“I am happy. Go dig in his business then, it’s his birthday anyway.” You suggested while your mother just scoffed.

Raising your brows, your mother continued knowing that you were always ready to challenge her, “I will but when’s the last time you’ve been in a serious relationship?”

“Are you the expert when it comes to relationships now? You waited six months after the divorce from dad to get married to someone else. You settled for dad’s bullshit for years and now suddenly you want to micromanage what goes on in mine? Are you keeping this same energy with your step kids?”

Your brother is calling your name as a warning now but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t triggered.

growing up having your mother constantly in your ear saying to you, “you’ll never get a bf because of xyz.” Simply from little stupid things you would do as a pre-teen to teenage years was damaging because you were just an insecure kid not worrying about romantic relationships in the slightest. Although you had a mother who seemed to be more concerned about the male gaze for you.

So what if your room got messy? So what if there were days where you didn’t want to be bothered with your hair? Or was too much in grown folks business when your mother would gossip on the phone about inappropriate subjects right in front of you! while also bringing up all of your business to her friends or family members like some sort of humiliation tactic and then never taking your emotions into account when you voiced your discomfort?

Don’t get it wrong, of course you had love for your mother but you couldn’t erase what was said and done. A list of things that still stuck with you and things that you should perhaps just “let go of,” yet she still felt comfortable to talk about your love life like you were some low self-esteem kid.

You never had that relationship where you felt safe to share anything with your mother because of her critiques.

“Hold on now, I’m just trying to make conversation—

“You don’t need to. Not when it comes with an opinion i never asked for to match.”

Then comes the tears and Saskia is tending to her, whisking your mother away to the bathroom with her crying to Sas about how she, “tries to be a good mother and these are the things she gets.”

“Did you have to do this on my day?” Your brother sighs while your eyes are in slits.

“You and dad are the exact same, always expecting me to just take it. I don’t give a damn if it was Easter, if she’s coming at me then I’m going to let her know. I know she’ll always be mom but she refuses to ever see my side on anything.”

“Why does it have to be about sides? We’re family at the end of the day.”

The famous excuse for it all so it seems!

“And we must always be on some we are the world bullshit too, no matter what huh?”

Juan covers his snort at this, which earns him a look from your brother, leaving Juan to mumble out an apology.

It’s quiet for a moment as your brother tries to figure out how to make this okay but you don’t want to stick around to continue this dinner. In your eyes it felt ruined already.

Only seconds pass when you decide it’s best if you go. You’re on your feet, slipping back into your outerwear before wrapping an arm across your brother’s shoulders squeezing him as you peck his temple.

“Love you, mean it. I’ll take you out myself at another time.” You say as all your older brother can do is nod his head, briefly resting his hand on top of yours before you let go.

You’re peering at Juan who’s still seated and say, “want to take a walk with me?”

“Sure, whatever you want, yeah!” He sits up before grabbing his beanie and jacket, “I don’t care.”

You quickly begin to walk off before your sas and your mom come back, sending a silent message to your old friend that you’ll be outside.

Your brother tells Juan, “look after my sister, okay?”

“You got it,” Juan says, wishing the older man another birthday wish before making his way out to you.

The both of you are now walking side by side, enjoying the city’s lights and each other’s company.

“Thanks for coming with me. The longer I sat there getting into it with my mom the faster my brain was telling me to get the fuck out. I figured: let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"

Juan chuckles at this, “I know what you mean. I also had a disagreement with my sister too before I crashed at yours.”

That revealed just a dash about what led to Juan’s mood last night.

“Yeah?” Your eyes peep to the left of you at the beanie-wearing man, “You want to talk about it?”

It wasn’t much different with what went down with you and yours. Except Juan’s mother was the one to break it up and scold him for defending himself against his sister.

She still felt like he didn’t have himself together (despite the fact that he was now working at a mechanic shop and had a side tech gig at an outlet mall—paid under the table now! If you’re talking about his mental then that was a different story!) either and was the main one who told him not to go out to California. She begged him to stay and that began their estrangement.

His sister blamed him for his own unhappiness and if he would have stayed here maybe he wouldn’t have dealt with that darkness charming brought him.

Which hurt to hear.

He walks even closer to you now as he said, “nah, not really if that’s okay?”

“What?” You lightly bumped his shoulder, “Course it is, just know you can when you want to.”

He gives you a lopsided smile, “Thanks.”

You loop an arm around Juan’s waist, resting your head against his shoulder, as you blended into the city together.

Juan’s dreamed of times like these except you were miles apart but hearts still in sync.

The silence between you two lets you know that you’re both holding onto something so heavy but find that it doesn’t weigh as much when you’re both near each other.

By the time you’re making your way back to your side of town, one subway ride later and more miles to walk back to your place—the night feels like any normal routine.

Eventually the both of you fall into chatter and soft smiles as you continue your rest on the subway, head tucked underneath juice’s chin that his facial hair still pricks your thick hair but you don’t mind.

You’re both laughing about old times when you reach your 1975 raised ranch, half standing on the steps and you’re wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, “you coming in?”

The last thing Juan wanted to do was head back to his ma’s side of town so a dip of his head was all that you needed, sending him a smile and a nudge of your head to welcome him back inside.

“We gotta eat something although you’re really not supposed to eat after seven…”Juan says to you after kicking off his shoes and heading straight from the main entrance pass the living room right to the kitchen.

“I forgot how much of a health freak you are.” You tease, hanging up your coats in the near by closet.

Juan’s mumbling to himself as he moves around the cut off kitchen, “And you need more fruits and veggies in here. What’s the point of having a juicer and having nothing to use it?”

“My common law sister in law? If you believe in that sort of thing! got it for me. It works as decoration,” You argued, “I can just go buy me a fruit or veggie juice.”

“And be wasteful of this beautiful gift?”

“If you want it, I’ll regift it to you for a belated Christmas gift then.” You sass, going to lean in the archway.

Juan shakes his head while he’s eyeing all the ingredients he’s laid out on the counter, “no point in doing that if I’m just going to be over here majority of the time anyway.”

“Oh is that right?”

“I mean…yeah…if you’re comfortable with that.”

You roll your eyes, “I’ll take you for as long as I can have you, Juanie and you know that.”

He casts a smile over his shoulder at you before waving his hand along formally towards the dining room, “have a seat. This won’t be anything extravagant since your selection of food kinda sucks…we’ll talk about that later but I need my work space clear.”

You saluted, “heard chef,” before you walked into the next room over.

Which leaves you to send off a text to your brother letting him know you both made it safe before choosing to browse social media.

The words of your mother did get into your head as you’re sitting here searching up your two exes and you laugh to yourself at how foolish you were being. You haven’t though about either of those two in a long time, not in the same way you thought about Juan nearly every day.

Yet here you were letting your mother get into your head again: about two men that didn’t hold meaning to your life now.

“Bon appetite.” Juan tells you after awhile, placing the plates down on the table and picking the seat right next to you.

“And what do we call this meal?”

“P.O. In 10. Which stands for: party’s over in ten minutes.”

You both stare at each other and let out a laugh, “how clever.”

A struggle meal of: ground turkey on ranch Doritos topped with cheese and left over black olives with a side of strawberry moscato was your dinner for that night and you didn’t dare complain.

Juan’s gone into one of his rapid conversations of one of his old friends, a guy named chibs that he would have loved for you to meet and of course you find it sweet that he still found someone to speak highly of when he’s vaguely told you that all was not well in charming.

“can i see your hand?" You suddenly ask the man who’s grown out his hair and sported facial hair that made him appear older.

Juan’s finishing off the last of his homemade nacho’s, stuffing his face but doesn’t hesistate as he places his smooth veiny but much larger one into yours, “sure, why?"

You’re tracing the lines of his palm and recall the time the both of you went to a palm reader on senior skip day for shits and giggles although Juan seemed to believe every word the lady said.

He said he had a great tía from Puerto Rico that he met once or twice who was very spiritual but different from a palm reader. His mother got pissed off when she brought her work to the house that one time when she was supposed to be looking after him and his sister.

That soon became Juan’s job.

You wondered about how these hands had to scrap their way through just to survive.

Then you explain, “so i can see how well it fits with mine." Before interlacing your right with his and Juan can’t help but to grin at you.

And there’s that boyish smile that spreads to the corners of his eyes that you can’t resist while he speaks with you, “You’re so cute, you’re corny. If you wanted to makeout, all you had to do was just say so.”

You don’t think about it, “alright, maybe I do.”

“What?! Don’t joke like that.” Juan’s eyes are wide now, ready to slip his hand right from yours.

“I’m not.” You lift your shoulders as Juan sits back in the chair with a sigh.

Juan’s staring at you with a curiosity that makes you want to look away but you can’t.

“What if all we needed was to just be honest with ourselves and look at what’s directly in front of us.”

“…I don’t follow.”

“Us, Juan! I always felt like i was waiting for something, even with the others after Stu and Marlon. There was always this pull and maybe that was you…and if this is all in my head just say that. You can tell me.”

Juan rubs at his face in thought. He already knew how he felt about you and how it never went away.

“No…it’s not all in your head. I don’t know if you know this but…you’ve always been it for me and I—learned to be okay with just being your best friend since that’s what you always wanted from me. I thought moving across the country was the answer but that only hurt us more.”

“Part of me felt like you didn’t care who I was with. You just took it for what it was.”

“You’re so wrong,” Juan scoffed out some laughter, “I just wanted you be happy and not be selfish about wishing it was me that got to do everything with you all the time. They took my space.”

You instantly reply, “Never could.”

“No?”

“No, blockhead.” You lightly grip and shake his shoulders.

“Now we’re down to the insults I see.”

You shrug with a smirk, “Let me kiss you…just to see.”

“See what?” Juan felt his heart hammering in his chest now, “That we’re completely in love with each other? A kiss won’t tell me what I don’t already know, babe.”

A scrunch of your nose is present, “Not you sounding like you don’t want to kiss me—

“What—no—

Sighing you got up from the chair and plopped right down in Juan’s lap, wrapping your arms across his shoulders and staring into his eyes that softened as they settled on your close proximity.

“You smell nice,” he awkwardly says, carefully placing his hands right down on your hip.

You laugh as you move your hands to cup his face, lightly caressing your thumbs over his facial hair, looking at his lips and then back to his eyes before you lean forward to place your lips right on his.

His hands tighten around you but his shoulders seem to relax. Juan can’t hold back the moan in the back of his throat that escapes his parted lips but that doesn’t stop him from kissing you back.

There’s tongue in there somewhere in the mix and the hold the both of you have on each other is enough to erase the miles that were once placed between you.

His hooked nose brushes against yours as you pull back, eyes closed and trying to catch your breath. His forehead rests against yours and Juan has to clear his throat and blink several times in hopes of getting rid of the static that sits in the center of his bottom lip.

“Wow,” he exhales with a grin while you’re playing with the strand of curls at the back of his head.

A satisfied smile is on your face, “What was that shit you were talking?”

“I wasn’t talking shit,” Juan frowns, “I was just saying that my heart already knows what it wants without putting my lips on yours. I loved you the moment your mom forced you to be my friend.”

You shake your head with a smile, “that didn’t take much force, Ortiz. I always thought you could be the one.”

“And…you never said anything why? That would have saved us a lot of time!”

You shrug, “I think our love story is meant to start now.”

“Nope it’s been a W.I.P. but now the progress is actually progressing…”

You squint, “With both of us tasting like Doritos and strawberry wine?”

“If it makes sense to mother universe then who am I to argue with her?”

“At least one of us gets it then.” You kiss his cheek and go to move off his lap but he yanks you right back, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Yeah, that maybe love’s always got our back in the end.”

“So…that’s what’s poking me right now?”

Juan feels his face burn, “Sorry—I—couldn’t help it.”

“I could—

“No. Nope. Not yet, let me just hold you and get used to the fact that I get to kiss you from now on. If…we get to labeling each other that is.”

“You want to be mine, Ortiz?”

“Don’t tell me you can’t tell.” He groans pressing his forehead into your shoulder leaving you laughing.

“Only if I get to be yours.”

“Fuck yeah!”

You nuzzle your face against his profile as you hum, “I’ll love you even more for the rest of my life Juan Carlos Ortiz…sounds like a plan?”

And he feels his heart swell at that, knowing that he didn’t have to be alone anymore the longer he had you in his arms.

“Sounds like the best plan, yet. And I love you too, so much.” He gently says into your ear before you turn to him again, capturing his lips once more.

જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 124]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

I have been sick as a dog since I last worked on this story. I'm not even doing any work today lol. I just want to get this chapter finished. Will probably do a couple rounds and then cook myself dinner, so there may be a gap at some point. Mostly I'll just be, like, reading when not posting. Wish me luck.

“Good day for a picnic,” Helen commented as she handed over the basket Thomas had requested from her a few days before. He was taking Logan, Patton, and Virgil to the cliffs today and it was perfect weather for it. Spring was truly here, which meant that those of Thomas’s duties that had laid dormant over the harsh winter were about to start up again.

The world had been on pause for a bit considering no armies or agents from any kingdom could get through the snow the last few months, but the concerns of last fall were showing their heads once again.

Thomas had just gotten word a day ago that the queen of Lamir had routed out a second assassin hiding in her ranks over the winter. The assassin had been sent shortly after it was made clear that the queen wouldn’t bow down after the assassination of her mother. Luckily, the assassin sent for Queen Cecil had not managed to complete her mission during the winter months.

While there had been no similar attempt on Prijaznia soil, Thomas couldn’t help but feel it was only a matter of time now that the snow had melted. They were already working on increasing security in the coming weeks and, though it was doubtful an assassin had managed to hide in the castle all winter without revealing themselves, they’d be closely scrutinizing all of the newer staff members.

It would be a stressful time in the coming months, which is why, despite everything Thomas needed to do, he was still going to take his son and his son’s friends on a picnic today. Logan had already started taking on royal duties as of late, but he still hadn’t taken them all on quite yet. Considering this was last summer before Logan was of age, they should at least try to take advantage of it where they could. Patton was a year younger, but the sentiment held for him as well.

Then there was Virgil. Despite their best efforts, they still didn’t know enough about Virgil, but Thomas was fairly sure he’d never had a summer to enjoy until now.

“Thanks for prepping lunch for us,” Thomas said to Helen with a smile.

“No problem,” she said waving them off. “I put in some of Virgil’s favorites.”

“Great,” Thomas said. “Do you know where the kids are?”

“Patton said they were going to go pet the cats, so I’d guess they’re in the gardens.”

Thomas thanked her again and told her to have a good day before exiting the kitchen. There was a nearby door that led straight towards the part of the gardens Patton and Logan had always favored. He figured they’d either still be around there, or they would have wandered towards the stables by now knowing that they’d be taking horses to the cliffs. So, he decided to simply walk the normal path from the door to the stable, hoping to find them.

His prediction ended up being hilariously correct. They were indeed on the path Thomas had chosen. It was clear they (or at least Logan) were attempting to make it to the stable. However, as was typical, a portion of the party had been waylaid by whimsy.

Logan was standing further down the path, arms crossed and frowning as he watched his friends. Patton and Virgil were surrounded by cats. Patton was sitting down, holding two of them in his lap and watching Virgil’s legs being swarmed by the rest of them, maybe two dozen in total.

Virgil looked confused, but not unhappy about the presence of so many cats. He was leaning down to try to pet them all.

Logan met Thomas’s eyes as he approached and waved a frustrated hand at the two of them. Logan couldn’t help but smile.

“Virgil fed one of them,” Logan complained as though he wanted Thomas to somehow go into the past and prevent this crime.

Patton and Virgil looked over at Thomas, noticing him when Logan addressed him.

“You’re going to make Princess Marisol jealous,” Thomas said. Logan frowned at Thomas as he used the ‘Princess’ label for the cat.

“Princess Marisol decided not to come,” Virgil said with a shrug. He continued to pet one of the cats.

“She’s probably sleeping on my pillow,” Logan said, sounding grumpy.

Thomas just chuckled. Princess Marisol was technically Logan’s cat, at least that’s what the kids said, and she did spend much of her time in the royal rooms. However, she was very clearly actually Virgil’s cat. Virgil just spent a lot of time in the royal wing as well.

In fact, Thomas still didn’t know where Virgil was supposed to be sleeping. He and Mr. Deknis had gone so far as to tail him a couple of times, but he always ended up sleeping in Logan’s room those nights.

Knowing Virgil, he might just sleep in the walls. Though that still did not answer the question of where his parents or guardians were. They still had not figured it out. Thomas would assume he was an orphan who’d snuck onto castle grounds for safety, but Virgil had told Mr. Deknis during their first meeting that he was supposed to be in the castle, and it had not been a lie.

Then again, it had slowly become apparent that Virgil was good at dodging the multrum’s powers. It was starting to seem more likely that he’d somehow inserted a second meaning into his answer to Mr. Deknis that night than he somehow had some ghost guardian no one was able to locate working in the castle.

“She deserves the pillow more than you,” Virgil said, bringing Thomas’s thoughts back to the situation at hand. The look of audacity on Logan’s face made Thomas chuckle.

Thomas cut in before it could become a fight. “I could get Princess Marisol a pillow, so she doesn’t sleep on yours. Or we can get you a new pillow if you’d prefer, Logan.”

“It’s not about the pillow for her,” Logan argued. “It’s about her inflated sense of superiority.”

“She deserves it,” Virgil declared. Thomas could tell he was just trying to rile Logan up, and Thomas was sure Logan knew it too, but still his son reacted exactly in the way Virgil wanted him to.

“You have enabled and encouraged this behavior from the start!” Logan seethed.

“She’s a princess.”

“She is not a princess!”

Patton shook his head while squeezing the cats in his arms, completely used to this behavior. He ran a chin idly over one of the cat’s heads while watching the argument.

“We’re never going to make it to the picnic at this rate,” Thomas said to him, “and after your mother made all of this wonderful food.”

“You’re the dad,” Patton said. “Make them stop.”

And, of course, Patton did just mean that he was Logan’s dad with that statement. However, when he glanced back up at the silly argument still going on between his son and the cat covered boy, it did almost look like a fight between siblings.

Especially with the dark hair and stubborn but mischievous look in Virgil’s eyes, Thomas could almost imagine the boy being his own child.

He shook away the thoughts and glanced at the picnic basket in his hand.

“We do have a lot of food in this basket,” Thomas said, pitching his voice up so that Logan (and more importantly) Virgil would hear them clearly.

Virgil immediately turned to look at him, abandoning all interest in antagonizing Logan to look at the basket curiously.

Thomas was never sure if he should be amused or worried about how food motivated Virgil often was.

“What’s in the basket?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Patton’s mom made it. We’ll just have to see once we get to the picnic area.”

Virgil nodded in understanding and began to gently extract himself from the droves of cats. Logan rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem inclined to continue the argument he’d been dragged into. Virgil and Patton got to their feet, and they continued on their way towards the stables.

The horses Thomas had requested be prepared for their trip were already in saddles, though the stable hand who had been handling Mr. Apples seemed a bit dirtier and more exhausted than the rest.

The stable hand seemed as happy to hand Mr. Apples over to Virgil as Virgil was to have Mr. Apples handed over to him. Thomas received Bella with a smile and Logan and Patton got their own horses as well.

The cliffs were about half an hour's ride from the main castle. There was a mostly well-maintained path to them, though it was easy to get lost if one didn’t know the way. Mr. Apples knew the way perhaps better than Thomas himself and seemed annoyed by the fact that Thomas was trying to lead the way. Virgil and Thomas ended up side-by-side whenever the path allowed it to placate him.

Thomas still marveled at how willing Mr. Apples was to let Virgil ride him, especially when he tossed his head in Thomas’s direction, a horse’s equivalent of giving Thomas a stink-eye.

“Are you excited for the picnic?” Thomas asked the boy beside him.

Virgil glanced over at him and nodded.

“I am too,” Thomas said. “It’s always beautiful this time of year. I’m glad I could find the time to take you all there this year.”

“Are you very busy?” Virgil asked curiously.

“I am king,” Thomas reminded, “and now that the world isn’t snowed in anymore things will be busy.”

“With the war?” Virgil asked.

Thomas paused for a few seconds. “Yes,” he confirmed. “With the war, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Virgil asked.

“You’re just a kid,” Thomas said.

“I’m 14,” Virgil said.

Thomas glanced at him. “Exactly,” he said, “a kid, and luckily, you’re in a place that can afford you the luxury of being one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The war has been mainly fought on Mocnejsi soil in recent years. Our boarders have held strong against invasions. Unless something goes horribly wrong suddenly, it would take a long time for the main conflict to get here. The only real threat in the castle would be assassins sent after me personally.”

“Right,” Virgil said. There was an awkward pause in conversation before he spoke again. “You’re winning the war then?” he asked.

“Something could always happen,” Thomas said, “but for the most part, yes, we have quite the advantage right now.”

“Oh,” Virgil said.

Thomas shook his head as they were coming up to a narrowing of the path. “Anyway, today is a day to not think about war. Today we’re going to have a lovely picnic and do some bird watching.”

“Right,” Virgil agreed from behind Thomas as Bella took the lead (to Mr. Apples discontent.)

When the path widened again, Thomas did his best to direct the topic to lighter subjects and soon they made it to the cliffs.

Chapter 57 (Virgil)

Virgil had never been to a picnic. At least, that’s what Patton had informed him when Virgil had described his past experiences of eating outdoors. Logan had agreed even though he’d admitted that the definition of “picnic” was only eating a pre-packaged meal outdoors which Virgil had done plenty of times.

From what Virgil could tell, the main difference was just how much stuff one brought to a picnic.

In addition to the basket full of food (that Virgil still hadn’t gotten to look in yet), the king had brought a large soft quilt that he had Logan and Virgil spread out on the ground for them all to sit on.

Patton and Logan had also packed some things themselves to bring along. Logan had brought along a book to read, and Patton had brought along a board game (thankfully not checkers but something Virgil did not recognize). Virgil hadn’t brought anything (except for the fire knife he was definitely not supposed to have and was definitely not letting the king see) because he hadn’t known he was supposed to bring things. He wouldn’t have known what to bring anyway.

The blanket was soft and a much better alternative to sitting on the ground, especially because, while there was grass at the top of The Cliffs, there were also a good number of rocks.

The king set the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket once it was spread out and then lowered himself down to sit on one side. Patton quickly followed him, already fiddling with some of his board game pieces, though he wasn’t setting it up yet. Virgil highly doubted that Logan was going to be allowed to read his book unless Patton eventually got bored of the game.

However, they would, hopefully, be allowed to make use of the basket the king had brought along.

Virgil followed the king and Patton’s lead and got to his knees on the blanket across the picnic basket from the king. He peered at the basket curiously.

He didn’t quite know what picnic food was, but Patton had told them they’d be getting ‘picnic food’ and he was very curious about what that meant.

King Thomas smiled at him. “Let’s see what Patton’s mom packed us, huh?” He reached for the basket and flipped it open as Logan sat next to Virgil. “There is a lot more food than usual in here,” the king said, sounding amused. “Let’s see.”

He began to pull out packaged food and glanced in each package to identify it before setting it out.

“We have a few types of mini sandwiches,” he said, putting them down, “and some pasta salad.” He set down the bowl.

“We also have… er something else.” He showed it to Logan.

“They’re hot cauliflower bites,” Logan said instantly upon seeing them. Virgil perked up in excitement. That was one of his favorite foods.

“Ah,” King Thomas said, but shrugged and set it down. “We also have two desserts apparently: cookies and mini apple pies. That last one’s a bit extra for a picnic.”

“They’re very good,” Virgil said happily.

“And we also have.” King Thomas paused, looking confused. “Chicken alfredo?”

“Yes!” Virgil said.

“Why do we have chicken alfredo for a picnic?”

“It’s a Virgil picnic,” Logan groaned. “She packed us a Virgil picnic.”

“Hey, at least momma sent us something too,” Patton said.

“I think I’ll stick to sandwiches for today,” King Thomas said. He looked at Patton and Logan. “Do either of you want…?”

“No,” Logan said. Patton shook his head.

The king nodded and offered the entire covered bowl of chicken alfredo to Virgil. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

“Really?” Virgil asked tentatively. It wasn’t exactly strange for people here to offer him food, and he’d expected and anticipated getting to eat on this venture, but the king of the country offering him an entire bowl of his favorite food was something else.

“It’s not really my idea of a picnic food and you seem excited for it,” King Thomas said with a warm smile, still holding it out.

Virgil took it reverently. Despite the time it had taken to get to the cliffs, the bottom of the container was still warm. Virgil assumed it was one of the heating spells the kitchen sometimes used.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, Virgil,” the king said.

The bowl was enough for four people to have a little bit, but for one person it was a lot. Still, Virgil was offered a little of every other food in the picnic basket (and he ate a good number of the hot cauliflower bites).

“Where do you put all of that?” the king asked when Virgil finished polishing off the chicken alfredo bowl.

Everyone else seemed to have finished eating long before Virgil, though Patton still had a small plate of grapes, and he occasionally popped one in his mouth. King Thomas was currently setting up the board game they’d brought on the blanket between all of them.

Virgil shrugged in answer to his question. “It’s good,” he said, “and I don’t want to waste any of it.”

“You know we can just take the leftovers back to the castle and eat them later,” King Thomas said. “You don’t have to eat it all now.”

Virgil just shrugged again, watching as the king set out a group of 8 figures on the board.

“Here, which character do you want to be?” the king asked Virgil, gesturing at the group of figures. Virgil had not noticed the figures were different at first glance. They were all copper colored and about the size of his thumb, but they had slightly different shapes. He squinted at them each carefully, finding they all looked like people, but with different clothing. Some worse pants and some skirts, a few had hats, and one was even carrying a book.

After a few moments, he pointed at one that looked like it had vines wrapped around its arms and was wearing a floppy hat that almost covered its eyes.

“That’s the druid,” King Thomas told him with a grin. “Good choice, and luckily not one that anyone usually fights over.” He glanced at Logan who didn’t react to his father’s gaze. He just plucked the figure clutching the book off the board for himself.

Patton and the king picked pieces for themselves. Patton picked one with an apron that kind of reminded Virgil of his mom and the king picked one that was in a suit of armor before putting the other 4 figures away.

Unlike checkers, this game wasn’t just for two people, and so no one had to sit watching people play while bored out of their mind.

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They played a practice round so Virgil could figure out how the game worked, though honestly it wasn’t that complicated, so it wasn’t really necessary.

The theme of the game was all about stealing. They were supposed to steal special tokens from other players as well as characters in the game and the first person with 20 tokens won.

The other three players argued that stealing was not the point and not the main mechanism of the game, but considering Virgil was consistently winning the entire time, he would argue they were just playing it wrong. He managed to collect 20 tokens before anyone else. In second place at this time was Logan with 9 tokens.

Logan insisted on continuing to play the game to determine 2nd and 3rd place, so Virgil ended up watching them play for a bit. Virgil didn’t mind sitting and watching other people play this game, mostly because he still had the joy of victory running in his veins.

Thomas was definitely going to lose, he noted. He kept wasting his money feeding the nonplayer characters who lived on his lands. Virgil didn’t mention this faulty strategy to him in case Virgil ever played him again.

When Logan took too long thinking about his next move, Virgil took in their surroundings.

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He’d been a bit too distracted by the prospect of food and then trying to understand (and then win) the game to truly take in The Cliffs. They were settled a good distance away from the cliffside but Virgil could still see how quickly the edge dropped off. He couldn’t see the large river he was told was at its base from where he was sitting, but he did see a few of the promised wild birds (including doves) flying around. The king had promised they’d bird watch for a bit, and Virgil figured that would happen after the game was over.

A cool spring breeze brushed across Virgil’s face, and he put his hand in his hoodie pockets to warm them. Instead, his fingers hit something icy cold.

For a moment, he didn’t remember what it was. The crescent shape of it was familiar when he put his hand over it, but he had never felt it cold before.

It was the protection charm: the first charm Virgil had ever made with Logan so many months ago. It was meant to ward off small threats as well as warn you about larger threats by changing temperature…

It had always been warm.

“What?” Patton asked, having noticed Virgil suddenly tense. Virgil, despite how he drilled into his friend’s heads to stay alert had gone soft. He’d let himself be distracted by a full belly and warm blankets and fun games.

He didn’t answer Patton. He filtered the other boy’s worried face out as well as Logan’s face as he glanced at him and the king’s still focused on the game for now. He filtered out the picnic blanket and smell of food still lingering in the air and the vine covered figure set in the middle of the board on the winner’s space. He filtered out the sound of the breeze and the breath of his companions and the distant chirping of birds.

And he heard a whoosh.

Chapter 58 (Patton)

If Patton hadn’t already been looking, he probably wouldn’t have had any idea what happened.

Everything had been fine. Virgil had been sitting cross legged, idly watching the conclusion of the game they’d been playing when his posture had suddenly changed. Patton had looked over at him only to see an expression on his face he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t seem good.

“What?” Patton had asked, but the question didn’t seem to register to Virgil.

Logan had glanced up confused and also noticed Virgil’s face. He’d just opened his mouth to also ask what was going on when chaos descended.

Virgil was suddenly moving, crashing into King Thomas who hadn’t even looked up to see something was wrong at that point. Patton realized after the fact that Virgil had swiped up the board of the game they’d been playing as he jumped over it, the pieces previously stacked on it scattering all over the blanket. There were three thumps as some things hit the thick board, imbedding themselves into the surface.

When Virgil discarded the board in favor of the picnic basket, Patton saw there were small darts in it oozing a dark black liquid. The parts of the board they touched were dissolving, the grass under the new holes beginning to wilt rapidly.

Logan seemed to notice the oozing liquid the same moment Patton did and was quicker to realize what it was. He grabbed Patton’s arm and yanked him away from the board so hard he almost dislocated Patton’s shoulder, not that Patton was too worried about that. He scrambled away from it when he realized what it must be himself.

He could hear the sound of glassware smashing above them. Logan and Patton had rolled off the blanket in their quest to get away from the smoldering, melting board and apparently Virgil had pulled the picnic blanket fully over the king at some point.

Virgil himself was now gone from where he’d been the last time Patton had looked and it took him a moment to figure out where the boy had gone. The person who had been shooting poisoned darts at them had been drawn out of the wooded area they’d been hiding in by Virgil’s attacks.

They were cloaked in dark green from head to toe, explaining why they’d been difficult to spot when they were in the woods. Whoever they were, they were significantly larger than Virgil, possibly an actual adult or almost adult assassin, but they were also clearly a long distant fighter. They had not been expecting resistance let alone resistance in the form of a so quick he was almost a blur fellow assassin.

They had a bow strapped to their back, but they hadn’t had a chance to get it. Instead, they were trying to fight Virgil off with an arrow they’d managed to draw from their quiver. Virgil, meanwhile was lunging at them with a broken piece of plate in one hand and the picnic basket in the other.

Virgil dodged out of the way of the arrow striking towards his arm, though Patton didn’t think it was because he was afraid of getting scratched by an arrow, but because it may also be poisoned tipped.

Virgil was distracted by dodging for long enough that the older assassin managed to hit him in the face with the arm not holding the arrow.

He went down, but he took the older assassin with him, sweeping their legs out from under them. Patton hadn’t noticed (his mind working too slow for how fast they were moving) but they were on a slight incline. They went rolling in a tangle of arms and legs towards the edge of the cliff and skidded to a stop only a few feet away.

Virgil ended up on top, his piece of broken plate in his hands. He moved to slash it across the other assassin’s throat and managed to draw blood, but the assassin’s fist came out to shove at Virgil’s chest at just the right moment, causing the strike to veer off course and slice across the assassin’s cheek instead.

Virgil jerked to the side to avoid a second strike to the chest and went back for another slash. The other assassin rolled to the side as he did and the plate only managed to nick their ear. The point of the motion hadn’t been to dodge, however. They were lunging for the arrow they’d dropped a few feet away while they’d rolled. They grabbed it with their right hand and in the same motion stabbed back behind them towards Virgil.

Virgil rolled to avoid the hit, already slashing up with his plate as the assassin turned back towards him.

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He didn’t hit them this time but his swipe managed to stop them from stabbing him when they tried again. They shoved themselves back to avoid Virgil’s swing, putting a bit of distance between them. Both of them managed to make it to their feet during the momentary reprieve, but both also stayed crouched, eyeing each other.

They both lunged towards each other at the same time. The assassin went for a stab to Virgil’s neck with the arrow, but Virgil was already ducking down. This time, he wasn’t going for a kill shot. He grabbed the assassin’s wrist and at the same time drove his piece of plate into the assassin’s arm, slicing down from the elbow to wrist. The assassin spoke for the first time, cursing in a language Patton didn’t recognize as they were forced to drop their arrow.

Virgil took a moment to kick the arrow away from the assassin and it ended up falling off the cliff.

However, this pause gave the assassin enough time to regroup. Despite their arm bleeding profusely, they still decided to use it to backhand Virgil across the face viciously, leaving a long line of their own blood across his face.

Virgil lunged back forward, but the assassin was able to get a leg between them, kicking Virgil squarely in the chest and sending him flying back a few feet parallel to the cliff’s edge.

The assassin went to grab their bow and another arrow from the quiver still strapped to their shoulder.

Virgil, however, apparently went for another weapon too and he was much faster with a knife than any archer. A knife appeared in his hand, having been strapped to his ankle and was embedded into the assassin’s chest before they could even full remove an arrow from their quiver.

The assassin promptly burst into flames, fire catching their clothes (and from the smell of it their skin) ablaze. Panicked and dying, they stumbled two steps to the side. They stepped directly off the cliff.

There was a second of silence. They heard the sound of the body hitting the ground far below and then the flap of wings and screeching as birds below fled from the startling sound (and possible soon to be forest fire).

…

“Uh, Virgil?” King Thomas said. He had managed to get the blanket off his head at some point. When, Patton didn’t know, but seeing any of it was probably enough.

Oopsie.

Chapter 59 (Logan)

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced back briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poisoned darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

[wereavocado]

Hey fellow nonhumans, I’m going to be going on a hiatus for a few months, or possibly indefinitely. It’s hard to explain why but I’ll try my best to right now. Sorry this is going to be kind of lengthy.

TW vent. Nothing graphic just a whole lotta sad I guess.

It has always nagged at the back of my mind that I have been hiding a part of myself from my loved ones my entire life, but lately it’s been tormenting me. Not even my best friend of five years, who is like a sister to me, knows. Sometimes I look at her and think that despite everything, she might not *really* know me, and it feels awful. As for my gf, it’s the same feeling, but I fear she may not accept it since she’s more of a skeptic when it comes to these kinds of things.

I guess being on therian tumblr has brought these feelings to the forefront of my mind, to the point I couldn’t suppress it and ignore it anymore. The truth is, I don’t want to suppress it. I want to get permafangs to ease my species dysphoria. I want to express that love bites are genuinely a way I express affection in every sense of the word. I want to be able to bare my teeth and have that be enough to say I need space. But I can’t do that without sacrifice and risk, and I’m terrified. I fear they would never look at me the same. I don’t want to be seen as “crazy,” I want to be seen as who—what—I truly am.

I guess this hiatus is me trying to see if I can bear taking this secret, this part of who I am, to the grave. I don’t want to because life is too short, but I’ve already hid this for 19 years. Stopping now and facing the consequences is so terrifying that I need to be absolutely certain that I can’t go on like this. Part of me feels that this is futile, but I just need to know before I potentially ruin everything with the only two people I have ever truly loved.

I’m sorry for this yap sesh. In 3 days I will be deleting tumblr. I may be back in a few months. If I’m not, it’s safe to assume I decided to never tell a single soul the truth and continue living a lie.

Sorry for the dramatics. Dont follow in my footsteps, be who you are and do what makes you happy. This is just something I need to do for myself. I don’t really know how to end this so peace out ig ✌️

[tomato-bird-art]

SF ZINEFEST 2024! Some pictures from the San Francisco Zinefest last week! I had a wonderful time, and it was SUPER busy! thanks everyone who swung by to pick up prints and zines from me, I really appreciate it. It was really heartening to see people enjoy my art and remember me from over the years—I’ve had a very busy year and not as much time to “be an artist” as I’d like, so it was very invigorating to be around other queer artists again in a dedicated and enthusiastic space. When online a lot, you tend to forget how it is to be around art in person, and this was a great reminder of it—also every year, I’m always excited to see the beautiful outfits and fashion of the attendees! Someday I’ll dress up more special, but alas it’s just work and apron for me XD

I also finally got to meet longtime mutual and incredible artist @megamoth in person, and got a copy of their Devilman zine series here I contributed to some years ago! Here’s a pic with a cool itabag as well.

This year, I debuted a few new works:

“Fujo X-Ray Visions”

is a collection of personal comics from the past year I’ve been posting here and on Patreon, mostly about trying to balance life as a cartoonist and as someone pursuing some new career experiences in the healthcare field. Like “Voids and Visions” before it, there’s a bunch of personal stuff and angsting along with regular goofiness.

It’s available now both as a physical zine, as well as a digital download!

“If All The World Were Mine!”

My collection of artwork and comics I’ve done for my medieval rpf side account, @angevinyaoiz over the past couple years. It’s a mix of some serious historical illustrations, goofy cartoons, and nsfw works. It’s probably one of the most “niche” things I’ve ever made or gotten into as of late, but I’m happy for the audience who has appreciated my work over the past several months. It’s available currently as a physical zine purchase on storenvy, and I’m planning on making an expanded digital zine version available later—fill out this form to be notified!

“Best Yaoi Movies of 20th Century Hollywood”

In this collaborative project I did with my friend @titilvating, in the style of classic cut and paste, copied zines, we offer our takes on 19 movies made before the year 2000. Many are acclaimed classics; some are underrated gems.  We made this zine to both introduce folks to the richness possibilities of classic movies; whether longtime cinephiles familiar with queer subtexts,  or young fujos looking for more material to sink their yaoifangs into.  Our sample size caters to our personal tastes rather than “good representation” and reflects a fraction what’s out there, with a focus on western US/European media, but hopefully can serve as a fun introduction and celebration. Old movies are a lotta fun, who would’ve thought?

It’s available now as a free digital download, but contact me if you’re interested in a physical edition as well!”

Other Works:

My print version of “The Sons of God” was very well received! I realized sometimes giving little titles to print pieces make for great conversation starters, and I got to chat a lot about my inspirations for the respective pieces. Grab a physical print here!

Ending Thoughts

Overall, I’m glad I got to meet lots of people this year and also pick up lots of zines! I didn’t have a chance to really browse this time around since it was so busy, but I got to trade a lot with folks and also pick up some cool zines and stickers myself.

For those who’d like to keep up with what I’m doing, follow me here, on Patreon, either as a member or free-follower, since I tend to post my sketches/WIPs there first. For me now, it’s back to the grind of school and also continuing creative projects. I have a lot of stuff I dream of doing, and it’s always a challenge to balance that with what needs to get done. If I learned anything from this event, it’s how valuable it is to connect with people in the real world art space (Something I always learn and forget like every few months.)…also, always bring water and snacks—can never be TOO prepared!

Wishing you all a good autumn,

-Allie

[luveline]

I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️