#I’m very very sorry for being late
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I am perhaps a bit late on this
But birthday present for @head-in-the-icloud !
I hope that you had a wonderful happy happy birthday!
#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop#moondrop#your blorbos are so fun to color#I’m very very sorry for being late#but week was v busy so I hope you still like it now#you are a very kind person I think u deserve a pretty pretty present
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Living with a chronic illness has made me develop a mix of a wistful way of looking at life itself at the same time I have a whimsy feeling about surviving despite of my condition which is something that still makes me look at the world with wonder.
Yes, I do struggle with a lot problems that a lot of people my age don’t, and yes, I have suffered way too much from my illness. But I still have hope. And I still keep going, even when things are hard, despite how difficult it can be to accept the fact that I will have to be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I am well aware of all the challenges of living with a chronic illness when the world is not always welcoming to people who have disabilities. But I’m going to keep going. Despite the pain, despite cruelty, despite the differences that sometimes made me feel isolated.
I’m still fighting. I’m still here. I’m still alive in the face of everything, and it’s very exhausting to keep trying, but I am here. And life itself can be so beautiful even when I’m in pain. Those two things can and do coexist. And surviving so much it’s a statement that my body might be different, but I can be strong in other ways.
So if you’re dealing with a chronic illness, I’m telling you I am so glad you’re in this world and that being different does not make you any less worthy of being here, of taking space, and that you deserve happiness. And that happiness is not something you have to earn by enduring pain and pushing yourself past your breaking point, but because you’re just as human as everyone else, and as equally valuable.
#cw chronic illness#cw chronic pain#self-acceptance#self-worth#on being human#original writing#had to edit my this a few times because I’m tired#very very tired but very very alive#sorry for the all the editing but yeah I’m very sleepy while writing this#it’s been hard lately
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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TOP JOBS GEN ZOOMERS WANT
•npc
•endangered species
•bearer of the curse
•ibuprofen offerer
•visitorrrrr
•flop post self-reblogger
•bard
•college dropout
•anon hate receiver
•cat in a classical painting
•bog body
#i am so so so so so so sick and suffering hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it’s been a wacky past 48 hours here lol. some very good and a lot of very bad#and this is before you factor in the amount of schoolwork i’m totally behind on lol#feeling overwhelmed lately and trying to avoid being perceived for when i’m online cuz i’ve been getting paranoid about stalkers#so if you’re my beloved mutual and i put your post in the queue instead of reblogging right away i’m sorry#peach rambles
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you know, there are a lot of posts about how transitioning as an adult is like going through puberty all over again. and I’m not medically transitioning (at least not yet, maybe one day), so I don’t know if I ever expected to exactly experience that. after all, my hormones are at normal adult levels for someone on birth control. but no, some of the stuff I experience does make me feel like a teenager awkwardly becoming an adult again, actually.
see, I’m attending a friend’s wedding, and I need new formalwear for it (protip: it is generally frowned upon to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding, and that’s the last formalwear I purchased). and I just… really didn’t want to wear a dress, so I went to go get a suit. and I didn’t know how to get any of the required clothes for it and had to have a salesperson help me figure out how dress shirts work and nervously stood there while getting shown how to try stuff on and it really did feel like I was a lost teenager, despite being, you know, almost twenty-six.
but also: I own a three-piece suit now! it’s grey! it looks pretty good on me! I even got a blue tie with bees on it! so it was worth the temporary embarrassment of suddenly realizing I don’t know how men’s formalwear sizes work and, oh god, why are there so many variations of “white dress shirt” what does this mean.
and I figure as I very slowly work up the confidence to be out more irl there will be more and more moments like this, and I’ll lament the fact I didn’t do all this stuff as an actual teenager, but as weird and scary as it is, so far, it’s been worth it.
#also shoutout to the salesperson both at the suit store and the department store#they were VERY nice and reassuring and the woman at the department store wished me luck which was very sweet#I was. very obviously nervous social anxiety is a bitch#I kept being like ‘I’m so sorry I don’t know how this works’ but I never had anyone teach me so I must give myself grace#anyway more personal than I normally am on this blog but I’m excited and also figure someone out there probably relates#just. late milestones. thing I keep experiencing both because autism and because not cis#suddenly realizing ‘oh most people figure this one out as a teenager’#milestones are bullshit anyway#anyway some stuff needs to come in and then be hemmed so no pictures yet but#suit……
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Hullo to my fellow fandom creators.
How you guys doing? Good? Good.
I just wanted to drop you a little note to say I hope you’re all having fun out here. Because fun is what it’s all about, right? Fun and excitement and hobbies and interests and all that good stuff!
While I’ve been wandering about in my little corner here at tumblr dot com, I gotta tell you, it can be so easy to get discouraged sometimes. Like SO easy. And I dunno folks, I guess I just wanted to remind you (and me!) that when we create stuff for our fandoms, it’s for fun! Because we love it! Because we love making it! We love sharing it! We love the source material and the characters and the world-building and all that other neat stuff!
Sometimes we all need a little reminder, I find. Because sometimes people don’t like what we’re making. Sometimes they’ll be rude or complain and make demands about how fandom "cOnTeNt” (yuck) should be made (double yuck) and act kind of entitled about it. And idk, that gets kind of disheartening. Especially when you’re pouring all your heart and soul into what you’re making, simply for the love of it.
So! Yeah I just wanted to check in with you folks because I’m seeing a lot of that weird entitlement in various fandoms lately, and from one creator to another, I wanted to just say -if I may wax poetic for a moment here- nuts to those people. Nuts to ‘em. NUTS, I TELL YOU.
Not everyone is going to like the stuff you make, and that's okay. The important thing is to remember that their opinions have nothing to do with you or me or anyone else making art or fics or edits or whatever our little hearts desire. Just because what you're making doesn't tick someone else's personal boxes doesn't mean that what you're making is wrong or bad!
If people want specific stuff in fandom, they can make it. If they don’t like what we’re making, they can move on - that's fine. If they want to publicly whine about it and try to make it everyone else's problem, that's their baggage and we don't have to take any of that on board. It’s no reflection on you if someone wants to demand that their own specific tastes be met, rather than actually taking part in the community in a positive way. Because we’re here for fun, aren’t we.
Are you having fun? Good. That’s all that matters.
Go make something cool and fun, and have a great day!
Love you!
#just to be clear this isn’t about any one specific thing or person or even anything that's happened to me#just seeing a lot of v. demanding posts aimed at fandom creators lately and while I get that everyone has different taste and that's fine#there's something to be said for tact and delivery and just generally not being rude about it#anyway. sorry to rant but I woke up and saw 3 posts like that first thing this morning - in varying fandoms#one of them was a fandom I have literally nothing to do with#but it got blazed and I saw that negative whining on my dash like 74 times before I just gave up and blocked the OP#and it just got my goat!#I’m just doing that big-sister-cracking-her-knuckles-in-the-background thing right now#because I feel very protective of fandom creators#so I just wanted to say something because you guys are AMAZING and it's important to me personally that you all know that#fandom#fandom wank#on fandom
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girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much
hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!
not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from
as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else
BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??
the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:
when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely
but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing
and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.
#asks#(stepping off my soapbox) very sorry for that I didn’t know I cared so much#but the truth is I want everyone to read wips all the time and I DO get why people don’t#because a story that remains unfinished haunts you sometimes and people enjoy that on different scales#but wips are amazing#as an author with many#but also as an author with more completed stories than wips but who also is apparently#known for having wips which like make it make sense I guess whatever#wips are amazing because my#favorite part of stories is talking with you about them#I cut out answering ao3 comments a few years ago so I could focus on writing stories#but I always try to answer asks on tumblr#about a chapter before I post the next one#I love it it’s my conversation space where I feel most comfortable#comfortable *#and I’m so sorry#this ask answer has ballooned way past what your very kind ask warranted#I just have emotions about this lately#waiting can mAke it better I promise - you make a potato salad and you don’t immediately eat it. you put it in the fridge#so the flavors meld#sometimes fics are the same way tbh if you can experience them like#that.#sometimes you read a wip and you’re like wow that could be a motif and then you watch I#that motif develop over a year and you get this satisfaction of being right and also being proud of the writer??#idk I could be talknin#out of my ass but I just. love Wips. all the time and always
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Updated Mosy reference
#Mnemosyne Mew#mew#pokemon#art#2023#ahh it’s late for me#for anyone wondering if I’m okay I’m#managing#I’ve gone from really depressed to jsut really angry so I’m trying to stay away from social media#just so I don’t accidentally hurt anyone’s feelings#I’d really hate that#but I see all of you being so very kind and generous#thank you so so much#I’m sorry I can’t do much to repay you in my current state#I’ll try and do another reauest event in the future maybe
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I started crocheting my first blanket today and my hand hurts so unbelievably bad and I’m not even a quarter done with it 🫡🫡
#it’s about five feet across#so I’m thinking five feet down but like. MY LORD!!!!!!#it took me like four hours just to get about 8 inches done#NOT EVEN A FULL FOOT YET?????#and I tried putting my brace on but it made it hurt worse sidhdkfjf#also sorry I’ve been so disconnected on here lately#I feel like I don’t belong here anymore which is no one’s fault#but it makes me very sad bc I miss being active on here and actually enjoying everything#I just feel very apathetic which could just be my Prozac LOL#sorry I’m rambling but I will post a pic of my blanket when I finish!!#which will probably take weeks lmao#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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Young Frog lady
Old doodle- I forgot I drew it, I should draw Heket more but AAAAA like Shamura I struggle
#bloo’s art :)#cult of the lamb#cotl heket#bishop heket#sorry if all my art has been rushed doodles lately-#I’ve been very busy with school and work#like I’m working basically every weekend or every other-#that and my personal life has been kind weird lately#I wanna make better art for you all- cause you all deserve better art lmaooo-#but life sucks rn#and yeahhhh-#I’m rambling- oops mb#I don’t like being this open online- but just know I’m powering through it :D#yippeeee-#/lh
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You're doing amazing and wonderfully
Hope things are going alright for ya
Also this happened yesterday apparently
Drew a dragon for ya (they don't have any braincells but that's okay cause they're nice and they're trying lol) I tried to emulate the iconic eyes you draw cause i love that but i am not very good (didn't capture the same adorable essence but that's okay)
Aahghdhfb I’m a bit late but
Loving the creechur very much ✨
#I’m so disorganized with the asks lately ahfhshd im sorry aaaa#trying to organize time for drawing and drawing ideas and other stuff at the same time and I am in fact not organized at all heehehehfhdh#I will do a batch of rollo related asks soon tho ! very soon#been tired but doing alright tho lately ! I just tend to sleep very late because I like being up late an draw w/ instant noodles sometimes
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lan xichen is not a perfect human being. he is an older brother who is Going Through Some Shit by the end of the novel. did he always make good choices?? no!! have you????
#i’m having a supremely difficult time with the Xichen haters commenting on wi3.#like all mdzs characters i feel that he’s an incredibly nuanced character#the idea of hating xichen feels so fucking foreign to me because ultimately he just care he brother#no matter what shape that brother takes#lan xichen#mdzs#deep breath#WE ARE NOT OUR MISTAKES AND WEI WUXIAN IS THE BIGGEST MOST GLARING EXAMPLE OF THIS#AND THE FACT THAT YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THIS BUT NOT THAT XICHEN SAID A MEAN THING WHEN HE WAS UPSET AND HIS WORLD WAS CRUMBLING#SAYS A LOT MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SKEWED POV#IF WWX ISNT UPSET ABOUT BEING CALLED LWJS MISTAKE BECAUSE HE REALIZES THERES MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO HE WORRIED ABOUT#RATHER THAN XICHENS ANGY REMARKS THAT CLEARLY HAVE NO BASIS BECAUSE WWX OBVIOUSLY DIDNT REMEMBER#THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO MAD ON HIS BEHALF#seriously the narrative puts SO LITTLE FOCUS ON THIS#laughably little#xichen wants his brother to be happy he doesn’t WANT to push wwx away#he wants wwx to recognize the fault he has and the blame he carries so that he will TREAT WANGJI APPROPRIATELY#so that he’ll stop being a dense motherfucker about his own feelings long enough to realize that wangji has been irrevocably in love#since the very beginning!!!#xichen ignored crimes that sucks#that’s a valid reason to critique his character#‘xichen ignored jgy’s crimes but not wwx’s and actively tried to sabotage wangxian’#no you’re wrong#xichen did not lead the lan to the burial mounds#stop confusing xichen for qiren#if wangji had successfully convinced wwx to return to gusu with him xichen would’ve done the shrug emote#sorry uncle! i have a new brother again!#foh with your xichen hate#i’m gonna be late for work bc of this rant but it needed to be said
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@beumdi Happy Birthday🎉 !!!!
#i finally finished this#Sorry for being so brief because I've been so busy lately.#I really had a lot of interactions with Suna this year and I’m very happy#It was really fun drawing on the whiteboard together#Also pls don't eat me anymore I'm not delicious#ttte#ttte humanized#ttte fanart#ttte douglas#ttte oliver#my art
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Got that post-Halloween season depression, time change tiredness, and election existential despair all at once! Needless to say, probably gonna be a bit before I get to working on my exchange fic…
#sorry for not being very active lately guys#post haunt season depression always hits me really hard#and the time change messes with me#and now there’s this feeling of dread from the election results so that’s fun#I’m what the kids would call ✨not having a very good time✨#gotta love being a woman in America ☺️✌️✨#anyways#yea idk#I’ll turn up at some point with some silly incorrect quotes or something don’t worry#oboe rambles
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I’ve been listening to the tboi: antibirth ost lately and the “machine in the walls” song specifically is just very Lord Eclipse to me in terms of how it sounds and I can’t really explain it. It’s just been making me think abt him a lot
Like. I feel like Lord Eclipse’s universe could have been a very interesting and almost horrifying world if the show wasn’t bound to a vrchat format. like. could you imagine? Moon walking through the library and finding a large, open area that’s illuminated by the sunlight pouring in through a stained glass depiction of Eclipse?
Could you imagine if the reveal wasn’t by the man himself beckoning over Sun and talking down to him, but instead Moon follows Sun as he enters what used to be a throne room to tell Lord Eclipse that he’s done his errands and tasks for the day? Could you imagine Moon and Lunar’s horror upon realizing that Lord Eclipse no longer looks like the stained glass windows as his long, centipede-like form uncurls and he tells Sun that he’s not done yet, because someone is inside the castle?
Could you imagine if, instead of a stand-off between Moon and Lunar and Lord Eclipse, their final interaction is Moon sprinting through the shining castle halls for dear life because Lord Eclipse has taken it upon himself to find and hunt the other animatronic, and despite his uncoordinated hands sending him crashing into walls and pillars, he has surprising speed?
Wouldn’t that be horrifying? Wouldn’t that be awesome?
#xero says things#xero thoughts and rambles#SORRY IF THIS IS A LITTLE. UHM. VERY WEIRD?#I’VE BEEN RLLY INTO THE FUCKED UP RELIGION ASPECT OF LORD ECLIPSE LATELY LMAO 😭#especially with servant sun and lord eclipse …….#like#i think sun being still very devoted to eclipse despite everything because he /used/ to be a benevolent god is a terribly fun idea#even as eclipse urged his hands to hold a blade to someone else’s body for the first time. sun told himself that it’s for the greater good.#a horrible terrible manipulative god and his painfully loyal servant. yk?#sorry okay i’m normal now#long post#ask to tag#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#lord eclipse au#lord eclipse#servant sun#sams lunar#sams moon#centiclipse#sunvant
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Garrett dying suddenly in his sleep, I understand you sorta weaved lore into (I’m interpreting it as he was a failed dreamer like his grandmother?) but is that the same for Marian? Could she have died too?
it’s cool i call them by the default names too:) they’re intentionally just variants
AND yes. i leave the exact reason he died with no answer, i think it’s more meaningful for other characters to have their own ideas. mairwen thinks it was some sort of failed harrowing but she knew gareth wasn’t a mage or at least he was too old to be one by then. she feeds a gentle narrative to carver and especially bethany that he died peacefully. this does backfire with carver who holds the means of their loss of twin against her: passed away vs killed. leandra thinks there was some illness or issue she couldn’t forsee (but mairwen should’ve - i mean, that’s your twin, you were in the same room! you didn’t hear him? he must have struggled, he must have said something!)
you interpret it as gareth as a dreamer :) i like that! i hit you with it could’ve been mairwen. i double hit you with known cases of dreamers making people kill. really, who knows.
there’s no reality to me where they both survive, just like bethany or carver. it’s a kind of faithfulness to the game mechanics. if you had chosen gareth, mairwen would’ve died in her sleep too.
#sorry for the late reply 🐌#I’m very happy my characters r being interpreted in such a way 😭🩷#ask#ill miss the ‘existed but didn’t survive’ thing of origins… da2 does a sort of homage to that but let’s double down 🔨#hawke
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