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#I’m straight up NOT having a good time rn lads
sailor-aviator · 1 month
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chunkymamatam · 3 months
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Yooo when you have time, tell me about your JJK, Obey Me and Apothecary Diaries DRs (Just the basics like how it's been and maybe some interesting interractions, if you want)!!!! They're absolute favourite fandoms!! Also, what happened in TBHK lol???
-Reena
Yeah sure!
So what happened in TBHK was I could see ghosts and I made eye contact with Tsukasa’s little ass and that mfer scares me so I pretended like I didn’t see him but he started chasing me down “I KNOW YOU SAW ME” Bro I’ve never run faster 😭 that shit was wild and I’m never going back. He’s gonna get me LMFAO
JJK
Now Let me tell you the funny story of why I was even going JJK… In short I wanted to get down and dirty with Sukuna, I didn’t know how but I assumed I was gonna somehow get into his domain, preferably just appearing there. I fully didn’t intend to survive this encounter. I was like alright if I appear there he’s either gonna kill me on the spot or I’m gonna have 2 seconds to give this man the funniest offer he’s had in centuries
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then after that if he accepts he’d kill me after… That did NOT happen. I woke up walked outside and started roaming wondering how imma get this done and mfing Satoru Gojo start following me saying “hey you” LMFAO I RAN
this man was gonna get in my god damn way. And he did. He cornered me at a dead end and said “you done running?”
“Yes”
“Cool can you see this thing.”
“Yes”
“Cool cool. You have a really abnormal amount of cursed energy. You should really be dead right now I don’t know how you’re still walking. Come on.”
and long story short we ended up neighbors. I know he has an actual place so idk why he got the apartment next to mine but here we are.
Obey Me
For Obey Me let me just tell you how I ended up in the Devildom for now because shit was so wild I stg. I woke up in my bed and I thought I just didn’t shift and I sighed, wanting to just go tf back to sleep at that point and all of a sudden my door bursts open and there’s Diavolo, Barbatos and Lucifer’s big asses.
“CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING INTO RAD! YOU’RE ON AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO THE DEVILDOM!”
AND THEN THEY CASTED A SLEEP SPELL ON ME AND THE LAST THING I HEARD WAS “oh goodness she’s naked”
I sleep naked. I could cry from embarrassment rn. If I knew I was gonna start that DR like that I would’ve put clothes on. I didn’t even have enough time to process what was going on. The first thing they knew about me wasn’t my voice, or my awkward mannerisms. No. It had to be that I sleep booty butt naked. My ego? Crushed. My self-esteem? Left the building.
Apothecary Diaries
In my Apothecary Diaries DR everyone thought I was mute because I refused to talk to them. The workers were even bitchier in person. They fr bullied tf out of me for being fat(not surprised), having moles and feckless, being tan(my camera takes my color unfortunately 😭), etc. So I just straight up wouldn’t talk to them. The only ones who knew I could talk were the Eunuchs who brought me to the palace and Jinshi for a good while lmfao. And I didn’t even talk to him fr for a good while(not bitching it’s just funny). Then the whole fight between the Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua happened and Maomao was speculating so I pulled her aside and confirmed for her. It’s funnier because she was like “You can talk???” Like yes girl I just hate these bitches.
Then she asks me why I didn’t say anything if I knew to which I had to explain that I was bought from a foreign country and they weren’t gonna listen even if I did. Girl was flabbergasted. Love her she’s great. Nah we got called into a meeting with the rest of the workers by Jinshi and he held up two signs, one in Chinese one in English cuz I can’t read the characters 😭 by the time Maomao realized that I was trying to get her to come with me cuz this was about the two of us. To be fair tho even if I had run without her it’s really obvious when I’m reading something so he would’ve got my ass anyway LMFAO Lady Gyokuyou kept us both, me because when her and Lady Lihua were fighting I was like “Gyat Damn.” And I quote “I have made the mute speak and now you are mine.” She’s so sweet.
I need to go back to one of these places soon I miss it a lot when I talk about it.
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blackraged · 2 years
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Bitemark headcanons
...because holy shit, I didn't expect the updated voice lines to hit the way they did
They’re both the more vicious variant of Mr. & Mrs. Smith
These two make violence look so good, and they both know that. It’s one of the reasons why they work so well together.
Chamber first saw it as a ‘chase me’ game, when Viper ignored him and gave him the cold shoulder, tho this developed into something more once he saw what Viper was actually capable of.
Chamber has probably mommy issues. Yeah, shocking, I know. (I actually have a whole list on Chamber headcanons, involving this one, cuz it would explain a lot about his personality.)
“You want my approval, Chamber? Do that again.“ Now, I know this can be interpreted in two ways, but I’m choosing the second interpretation rn for this ship. She likes his intensity, and he likes her relentlessness. If Chamber wants to get on Viper’s good side, he needs to show her that he is more than just a over scented, walking suit of money. Viper wants all that what is beneath his charmer façade. 
Viper definitely finds him attractive, but annoying.
It took a few spilled vials of acid and a highly vexatious Chamber, for Viper to finally say yes to a date. Of course, she wasn’t entirely enthusiastic about it, when the day finally came, but Viper still tried to look decent and applied just enough makeup to cover the dark circles under her eyes.
Chamber’s early presents and bribes, to get Viper interested were custom guns. He designed them specifically only for her. They’re light in her hands, and fit custom bullets too. (I can see Phoenix’s mouth water already, sorry lad.)
Unfortunately, Chamber is the one to grow emotionally attached first. But not in a lovey dovey way. He sees Viper’s worth and wants nothing more than to elevate her. He knows exactly, when Viper overworks herself to the extent, where she can’t even think straight anymore. So he magically manages to convince her to take a break, and when she listens, he spoils her rotten. Massages, gifts, compliments. Anything for the lady. If he could, he would have already put a ring on her finger.
They’re relationship evolves naturally. They didn’t have the need to talk about what they are or could be. It’s like an unspoken thing. That way, in case anything happened to the other, they’d have a easier time to mourn over their loss.
Later, down their relationship, Chamber and Viper are the VP’s married couple without being actually married to each other. Nobody questions it anymore, when Viper leaves his room, or when they overhear Chamber making dinner plans for Friday night. That’s just how it is now.
Viper definitely enjoys Chamber’s affections, since he isn’t exactly clingy and knows when to let her work. She would be lying though, if she said she didn’t enjoy Chamber’s craving for her attention.
These two work literally so well together. They don’t stand in each others ways, and at some point, even know the others thoughts, and don’t need words anymore to express what they need or want. Nobody interrupts or bothers the other while working, they give each other enough space but don’t grow distant, and they also go to the other for advice, when they’re stuck with something.
God, these two could aim for world domination if they wanted to, and even succeed at it.
Viper wouldn’t be caught dead using pet names, Chamber on the other hand...he definitely doesn’t shy away from calling her “mon chéri “or “mon coeur”.
Cutesy or belittling names are not on the list tho. Instead, he comes up with the most elegant and creative names you could imagine. However, his go to name is calling Viper his lady (madame in french). Like, hell yeah. See that blood covered scientist over there, shooting down the enemies one after another? That’s his lady!
It takes A LOT of time, and work, for Viper to call Chamber anything endearing. If he’s lucky, he will hear Viper refer to him as “my love”, but that’s about it. Don’t maker her repeat herself.
Viper finds Chamber to be a good listener and an exceptional conversation partner. On those rare occasions, when she feels a little lonely in her lab, and doesn’t exactly work on something highly destructive, she’d invite Chamber to stay and just keep her company. 
Chamber, in return, memorized the time Viper would always run out of coffee, so he’d use it as an excuse to visit her in her lab, with two cups in his hands.
Once in a while, Chamber will kidnap (affectionate) Viper on a vacation somewhere overseas, or take her shopping, or to a restaurant without telling her. He figured out, that asking her if she felt like spending time somewhere outside of the VP was 98% of the time answered with a “No”. So he had to turn to other methods.
Viper claims, that his charming words and romantic gestures don’t work on her, yet she is still the one to stand by his side, whenever Chamber attends some fancy event.
All in all, these two would make a great power couple.
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lesbiansoncaffiene · 3 years
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AFTG As Shit Me And My Friends Have Said (pt. 2)
Y’all like the last one so much (it’s my most liked post as of rn so thank you!!) that we now have a part dos
Also features quotes from my gov class and from my (twin) brother
Matt: I am very happy to declare pawnshops as “EBay irl”
Dan: dear god
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5:24am
*Nicky named the chat Toothpaste Man Fanclub*
5:25am
*Andrew left the chat*
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Renee: I cannot believe I have to say this, you’re not allowed to cut into a cake baby
Aaron, his scalpel ready: goddamit
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Matt, drunk: Me when I cut off my ear for the lols
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The AFTG fandom: Gender, in the state of this nation? I think the fuck not
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Wymack: Wow I have a lot of white in my beard
Abby: It’s because you’re old
Kevin: Well the alternative is dead so..
Wymack and Abby: ..
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Aaron, to Katelyn, who always falls asleep during Marvel movies: do you wanna watch a Marvel movie?
Katelyn: *snorts*
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Seth: What if you’re pregnant and go to China, and your baby is born while you’re in China
Renee: You can’t fly in a plane during your 3rd trimester of pregnancy
Seth: Yea but what if you drove
*disappointed sighs*
———————
Kevin: omg I found a picture of my best friend in PreK
Kevin: The one who told me Satan was gonna eat me
Matt: ….I’m sorry what-
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Nicky: My only goal in life is to piss off my ancestors by going to the spice section in the grocery store
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Kevin: someone tried to mansplain on me in my history class, I hope they know that I’m a self-diagnosed autistic bisexual with a god complex who is going to prove him wrong
Dan: yep time to call Betsy
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Jean: listen I’m aroace but if Mothman ever wanted to fuck…..
Laila: shut uP, ShuT UP-
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Aaron: we have to take care of these egg baby’s in my healthcare class *shows eggs with goggly eyes attached*
Andrew, looking it dead in the eyes: eat it. Eat the baby
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Nicky *on the bus*: SCOOBY DOOBY DOO
Matt: WHERE ARE YOU
Neil, from the back: emotional hell
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Jeremy *about some gossip*: omg what a plot twist
Alvarez: that only happens in books
Jeremy: shhh I’m projecting
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Renee: wow, that was great parallel parking, you must have aced your drivers test
Andrew: my what
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*3am on a school night*
Dan: Don’t you think it’s weird that getting lab work done is basically walking into the doctors office and asking them to take your life juice?
Allison: if you don’t shut up and go to sleep I’m calling Wymack
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Neil: I hope Wymack lets me make Jack do the little lad dance for missing practice
Seth: that would bring all the serotonin that I’m missing back into my life tbh
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Andrew: I’m a very slow reader, I should not start a 10K fic at 2:35am
Neil: You going to anyway aren’t you
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Allison *showing Renee a meme*: Why was my first thought when I saw this ‘I should send this to my therapist’
Renee: Because you’re mentally ill, babe
———————
Andrew: Why make good decisions when arson is an option?
Aaron: Is arson… not a good decision?
———————
Nicky: okay so how do we let Andrew know that we know he’s gay. I have a few ideas-
Renee: well, we should be subtle-
Nicky, already pulling out a full on rainbow costume: do we /have/ to?
———————
Allison: is my straightener in your room?
Neil: I don’t think anything in my room is straight but you can check
———————
Andrew *on a rant about Adam Levine’s voice*: it sounds like he’s been hit in the balls
Wymack, who woke up two minutes ago when he thought someone was breaking into his house at 3:38am: what the fuck
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Neil: My lungs thought it would be funky and fresh to stop working when it is in fact not funky nor fresh
Matt: You just had an asthma attack, can you shut up-
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Aaron: I have therapy today
Kevin, trying to be supportive: that’s hot
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Renee: I love you but your pizza cutting skills are enough to ward off God
Dan, who cut the pizza into squares: yeah that’s fair
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Dedicated to Jess who read these and approved 100% *sorta*
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Part 3? Possibly?? If y’all like it???
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Part 1:
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spiltscribbles · 4 years
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How would you do a wolfstar fic based on the way I loved you by taylor swift? from remus' pov :)
~Notes: OMFG Nonny! I need you to understand that this ask threw me back to my Twilight days when I’d watch endless edits of Bella/Edward and this particular one with this song where for some reason Edward was both guys lksajghdsfjoieagh God what a time😂 So thank you and here’s a HC of how’d I write it becs I sorta hate all my writing rn rip fklsdghasdgh But JFC it got so fucking long!!! I’M SO SORRY!
.-
So It would be a muggle AU, non linear sort of thing where you’d see Lily and Remus just hanging out in his house on boxing day of their sixth year. And they’re shuffling through photos of themselves and friends at  Hogwarts. And Remus kind of just stops at this one, particular photo from second semester of last year, when he and Sirius were still going out.
James and Lily are in the background smiling straight on the camera, but the focus is mostly where Remus and Sirius are completely oblivious to the photo, and it’s obvious that Sirius is trying to drag him onto his lap, and Remus’s head is thrown back in laughter, and Sirius is looking at him in that grossly besotted way that softens his gorgeously angular features, and it’s just an absolute deluge of emotions for Remus.
So flashback
They first met when the marauders were auspiciously roomed together as young lads in Hogwarts, and Remus grew up in a quiet coastal town in the north of Wales where everyone knew everyone, and English was actually the second language, and to put it simply, being thrown into that space with the chaotic duo that are James and Sirius was a culture shock. Even Peter— who’s plummy and  who comes from a fine, upper middle class family and is at least familiar with them in the way that the patrician always are aware of one another. So Remus automatically felt like the odd boy out.
But that night, when he wakes up because he misses his Mam and Da, he finds the tallest boy— the one with striking pale eyes and an air of superiority that kind of got on Remus’s nerves, sitting on the windowsill and up at the stars— his namesake in particular. And so Remus joins him and tells him the love story of the moon and the sun that was his Mam’s favorite and it’s the first time they feel something neither of them know the name for quite yet.
Throughout the subsequent years the marauders grow as close as family, a brotherhood of sorts.  But they all know there are different manifestations of friendships within them. There’s Sirius and James who are the boisterous, bombastic ones that always seek the spotlight, and who can finish each others sentences and who cheer one each other along when it comes to their rowdiest of pranks. There’s Peter who’s always been intimidated by Sirius, and thankful for James’s friendship and comfortable with Remus because he’s the only one who never teased him. Then there’s James and Remus where they’ve always been impressed by one another, James because he knows Remus comes from humble beginnings and is bright in the way he works for everything he has and it’s never doubted he deserves it. And Remus is impressed over how much and how deeply James loves and cares about his chosen people, how he can inspire a crowd so effortlessly. But then, probably most peculiarly to Remus is his relationship with Sirius.
He doesn’t mean to sound rude or ungrateful, but his string to Sirius is  a relationship that absolutely eclipses all the others. It’s quiet in it’s intensity, but persistent like a heartbeat. It’s nights they spend trading stories by moonlight, and afternoons quizzing each other by the fire even though Sirius has always been naturally brilliant and Remus knows he’s just humoring him, but doesn’t call him on it because he hates the thought of it ending. It’s also evenings when James is at extra footie practice that Sirius teases him for, and Peter’s at chess club, and it’s just the pair of them, existing in each others space, doing whatever they want because it’s enough just to have the other there.
Remus is confused in third year when Sirius got especially pissy because Remus began hanging out more and more with the girl James has always targeted to being a know-it-all. And Remus was cross right back because they don’t even know Lily, and she’s a nice girl, and the only other Northerner like him in their entire year, and Sirius has no reason to be cross at him making a friend outside the marauders.
But then he got even MORE confused when Sirius asked him if he liked her. And Remus literally laughed out loud, which made Sirius scrunch his face sourly which just looked funny because his features are far too gorgeous to be put in such a nasty expression. And it’s nearly five minutes later when he catches his breath and tells Sirius that he and Lily are just friends and only friends. Comparing her to a sister, which became truth in the following years.
And it’s like a snap of the fingers when Sirius immediately smoothes out his face and grins cockily once more, and makes Remus promise that they don’t date any girls unless the others all approve. And Remus isn’t sure why Sirius’s intense focus on his love life makes something peculiar unfurl in his gut but he ignores it and shakes Sirius’s still too large hand— like a puppy needing to grow into his palms. And then they write up a contract and make James and Peter sign along with them in the codenames they came up with last year. Prongs for James because his hair is something gravity defying, Wormtail for Peter because of his pet rat, Padfoot for Sirius because of him asking sodding Minerva McGonagall— their head of house— if she was on her time of the month— as a first year when she gave him and James three weeks detention for a crude prank. And Moony for Remus who constantly got lost in his books and in his daydreams that it takes the others multiple times calling his name for him to be brought back to earth.
Remus kept the contract in his lovage, but never bothered to pull it out fourth year when Sirius suddenly became very, very aware of his good looks, and high social standing, and how any girl attracted to men would chew off her own leg to get a date with him— well save for the possibly only exception that is Lily Evans. And Remus had to just deal with it, and he did. He didn’t know why Sirius and his frequent, but short lasting flings got under his skin so thoroughly. It’s not like he’s annoyed over Peter and his girlfriend Eloise or how James is still going out with a couple different girls even though he’s near constantly flirting with Lily. And it’s not like the ones Sirius decides to go out with are annoying or anything. He really likes most of them. Like Marlene is absolutely hilarious, and Maci has the same world history class with Remus so they studied together a lot. And the rest have perfectly fine attitudes. It’s just— It’s just Sirius begins sleeping more often through the night instead of swapping stories with Remus, and isn’t readily available for whenever Remus needs to take a walk in the woods because he’s becoming full of anxiety over just about everything, and it’s just— He just misses Sirius a lot.
And Remus thinks he’s an idiot because why the fuck does he feel so territorial towards one of his best friends? Why doesn’t he act this way towards James or Peter or even Lily. He doesn’t ever feel this ridiculous, clawing emotion. Something he only calls by name, jealousy, when it’s late and quiet and he’s all alone. And Remus panics because he has no idea what this means, what or why he feels this way. Because he’s not a poof?? Is he? It’s not like he’s ever been especially interested in girls or their knickers, and if the other fifteen year old boys around him is anything to go by, that’s odd. But it’s not as if he’s especially interested in any other blokes either— anyone besides Sirius. Sirius and his artfully tousled black hair that tumbles down the nape of his neck and just a couple inches above his shoulders. and his piercing eyes that always seem as if they can look right into Remus’s soul and sift through all his points of diffidence. Sirius who’s always been there for Remus in ways Remus never even expected, even knew how to ask for. The boy who brings him hot chocolate on days his migraines are especially awful, and who always begs the Matron to stay over on the nights Remus is just forced to stay in the hospital wing when he has a flare up, and who always knows to ask the caretaker for a spare blanket at the start of every term because he knows Remus is always cold but would never dare ask himself. And God, just why does it have to be Sirius!
Strangely enough, it’s Sirius who answers the question in a non direct sort of way at the end of their fourth year when Remus asks him why he broke up with Isidora so publicly and a bit callously while they’re sitting on the balcony of the astronomy tower, trading their flask of gin that Sirius snuck away from his parent’s house over easter, staring down at the grounds and the lake and it’s a beautiful night, and Remus only sorta feels it how his heart twists while Sirius sits so close. And once the question spills out his lips, Sirius peers down at him in a very subdued, very weighty sort of way and he simply says, “she’s not you Moons.”
And it’s like Remus’s heart just freezes, refuses to continue beating with the shock, with the somber words spoken without an ounce of humor. And part of him is just waiting for the joke, for the other shoe to drop. He’s just  waiting for the overdone hand to his chest, and lips pretending to pucker for a smooch. He’s waiting for the ground to return but Sirius doesn’t move, and maybe this means that this is real, that it isn’t just in Remus’s head. so all he says is a simple, “oh” and the next thing he knows is that Sirius kisses him right then and there, and it’s beginning to shower from above,  and the kiss is a bit hard for his liking— more teeth than lips and a tongue that slips in with fervor— but Remus wouldn’t stop it for all the money in the world. Wouldn’t ever let go of his grip on Sirius’s broad shoulders, or move away from where Sirius’s arms are snaking around his narrow waste. Would pay anything just to constantly feel the weight of Sirius over him like this for forever.
He doesn’t know for how long they lied their in the pouring rain, just exchanging slow, lingering snogs, and tender touches that feel like a thousand flames. But Remus probably should’ve expected that the next morning, while they’re all preparing to board the train, Sirius doesn’t catch his eye or ever really speak to him. And that’s fine. Remus has been questioning his sexuality for a while now. Maybe Sirius is just confused or just nervous because they’ve been friends for so long. So he doesn’t mind. Ends up splitting his time on the train with the boys and with Lily and it’s all alright. When he gets home, he types Sirius a letter explaining to him that it’s fine, that they can take things slow, that they don’t have to call it anything yet, and he toys with that patch on his neck that’s still purple from Sirius’s mouth and he’s actually elated with the idea of it.
Sirius doesn’t answer the email
And he doesn’t answer the one after that either, or the ones that follow. And Remus eventually takes the hint when he gets a email from Peter who’s holidaying in France and asks Remus how hard he laughed from Sirius’s story about how he nearly pulled the mum of the latest London bird he’s shagging that he wrote them about. And Remus is equal parts embarrassed and self rebuking. Because he’s such an idiot, Sirius was probably annoyed from his constant emails like he’s some jilted ex lover, like the girls he pulls along. And Remus is really a fucking idiot. So he rings Lily and they meet at a pub that’s equidistant from both of them, and he didn’t have to tell her what happened because she’s really just a genius, so they drink the night away and he swears off love and she swears to kick James in the Bollocks at least once this year, and it’s the first time all summer Remus laughed.
By the time they got to fifth year, Remus had ranted enough to Lily that he was over it— well erm, mostly at least. It still hurt like nothing else when he first spotted Sirius on the train, looking taller and leaner and tanner and just sexier as all get out. ANd it makes something ugly twist in his gut, laughing at himself over thinking  that a practical demigod would be interested in someone who prefers books to most people and who has to wear charity shop clothes when he’s not in his school uniform and just— He’s an idiot. So when Sirius steps into the cart with Remus, James and Peter, and his look of contrition tosses to Remus  a beat passes. And  it’s quickly willed away when Remus just smiles warmly, tries to silently tell him not to worry about it, and asks out loud if he’d like a chocolate frog.
And it’s normal, it’s fine, the first weeks of term are typical as ever for the boys. They commit pranks on the creepy wankers like Snape and Avery. And they laugh at James’s latest failed attempt to woo Lily. And they spend all nighters in the library and celebrate with pickup games of footie. And it’s pretty bloody brilliant, but then Sirius’s birthday hits, and they plan a surprise for him on the astronomy tower in the middle of the night, filled with food and drinks  and friends. ANd Remus gets the key as prefect, and Peter sneaks in the booze with his free afternoon off and James make sure that everyone they like is there to celebrate the greatest git they all know. And Sirius is so, so happy when he sees it. Wich of course he is, Remus knows how difficult his parents are, how lonely he can get over the breaks without the lads. So he’s so, so happy to see that look of mirth twinkling in Sirius’s pale eyes, and he does everything he can to make it so Sirius is laughing all night long.
But towards the end, no matter how much he wants to make it the best night for Sirius, he just has to get away from the sight of Sirius dancing obscenely with Florence Whittemore. Because he doesn’t have to be a damn martyr. 
He goes to a private nook on the rooftop, and pulls out the pre-rolled spliff to light up, only sorta surprised when Sirius makes his way to him— far away from the crowd and away from the music. And he plops down on the step right  under his, obviously loaded and smiling like the sun, crooning “Moony,” over and over again and Remus can only dimple down  indulgently at him, carding his hand through Sirius’s hair gently, spurred on by the drinks and the weed and just by that quiet, unassuming love he has held for him like a torch all these years.
“Did you wear my favorite sweater on purpose?” Sirius asks, a bit slurred, tilting his head so it rests on Remus’s shoulder and he can feel the tendrils of his warm breath brushing against his neck, and Remus suddenly feels like he’s on fire again. 
And he looks down at the green sweater he’s got on, a gift from his Mam for his fifteenth last year and the one that he was wearing the first night Sirius kissed him. So, yeah maybe Remus wore it subconsciously precisely because of that. But he’d never tell him.
And neither of them could say who leaned forward first, but they were kissing again and it still feels like everything splendid and like Remus’s mind is melting right out of his head and it’s so fucking miraculous.
But then they hear a coughing and they spring apart in panic, only to meet Lily’s shrewd, green eyes and she’s glaring at Sirius like she could scorch a whole right through him. And she tells them that there’s a Filch sighting and they need to get to the dorms pronto. 
Sirius scrambles up, looking at them panicky like he doesn’t know what to say, but then Remus tells him to hurry along because he and Lily—as Prefects— are the only ones who won’t get in trouble for being out. And Sirius looks at Remus like there’s a thousand things he’d like to say, but nods soberly and sprints away, and Remus is objected to Lily’s silent, judgmental worrying for their entire track back downstairs.
Remus isn’t surprised when Sirius tells them all that he’s dating Florence now over breakfast, and Peter gazes at him in aw at pulling the fittest girl in their year, and James claps his back hardily and talks about the double dates they can go on now since he’s still dating Jeanette. As if James isn’t glancing back at Lily even as he’s speaking it, and as if Sirius isn’t peering over apologetically to Remus as if there was ever anything between them.
However, what does surprise Remus is when late that night, Sirius pads over to his bed in the middle of the night like they haven’t done since they were both 14, and they’re lying down, not looking at each other before Sirius kisses him again and Remus lets himself enjoy it, let himself melt into him. But then he remembers the pretty blonde girl who he’s actually dating and it hurts like nothing else when he tells him the next night when Sirius makes the same track to his bed that they can’t do anything because they’re going to ruin their friendship and he has a girlfriend and Remus just can’t. So Sirius nods, tells him he’s always been the best of them, and kisses his forehead before returning to his own bed. And Remus silently refutes the comment because he hates not letting himself even get the scraps.
So Sirius dates Florence for the next month or so, and Remus puts up with it because of course he does. Because if it’s Sirius’s friendship or nothing at all, he’d always pick the former. Would always want Sirius to be with him in anyway possible. But then over winter break he officially runaways from his barmy ancestral home and goes off to James’s house in the countryside. And he texts Remus, begging him to come visit for New Year’s Eve. So Remus does, even gets Lily to tag along.
And once they get there, Sirius just smacks a big one on him in front of literally a whole house of people— including James and James’s Parents and all the Potters’ friends— and he tells him that he loves him and that he doesn’t want to pretend they’re only friends anymore, and Remus is blushing and grinning, and he thinks that Sirius is the maddest bloke he knows and he loves him to.
And it’s good between them, it’s remarkable. Sirius is passionate about every aspect in his life so it’s no surprise how remarkable of a boyfriend he is, how his every splendid gesture is large and vivacious and vibrant in ways Remus can’t even describe.
But the thing is that Remus is just simply not like that, has never been loud or commanding a presence. When he’s the leader of something like a prank execution or a school project, he prefers to get input from the others, make them think they did an equal amount of work even if Remus was the one behind it all. He’s always been reserved, quiet. And it’s not that he’s shy, it’s just he doesn’t ever see a reason to make a big show out of everything. And Sirius has known him for over half a decade now, so Remus assumes that he gets it.
But then it’s apparent that sometimes he doesn’t think that Remus loves him as much— which is so bloody bonkers Remus can’t even fathom it. or he thinks that Remus is just going with the motions, dating Sirius just because Sirius asked him too. And that gets Remus mad, absolutely fucking furious. The idea that Sirius can doubt his emotions like that.
“Get your cocky head out your arse and think about how not everyone has to be as ruddy loud as you are.” Remus had yelled one night in the common room in early February when Sirius tried giving him a ridiculous teddy bear holding a heart as if he’s an actual sodding bird and he refused it and Sirius got tetchy. But then Sirius had laughed like the mad man he is and then snogged him within an inch of his life and Remus thinks he got his point across.
Their one, really huge blow out, is on Remus’s birthday when he gets to his birthday dinner with his parents who came up to celebrate. And Sirius was visibly, painfully drunk and he spluttered the whole three hours and Remus was secretly thankful that his parents only thought he was a friend and not his sodding boyfriend and by the time they got to the dorm Remus had shouted, really fucking shouted at him. Had screamed things that he would regret just as soon as they came out. But it was ridiculous and Sirius could be such an arse sometimes. And Sirius had yelled back about how fucking stuffy Remus is about everything and claiming that they didn’t even notice and who the fuck cares. And Remus was shaking so hard, grabbed his pillow and blankets to sleep in the common room instead.
But of course, he knew that Sirius would follow him, that Sirius always prodded whenever Remus wanted to just runaway, that he could never leave well enough alone. And they argue again but it quickly became them rutting up against each other in the middle of the night, atop the sofa where anyone could walk down an catch them an Remus didn’t care, just needed to feel Sirius, feel him all over.
Remus only found out the next day by a red faced and quiet Sirius that he was nervous, that he didn’t mean to get so sloshed but he’s already failed with his parents and he didn’t want Remus’s to know how much of a fucking screw up he is and Remus just kissed him gently and called him an idiot and they never spoke about it again.
A few weeks later, Sirius goes off to holiday with the Potters on the Moroccan coast and Remus was only sorta jealous, but he understood that Sirius has always starved for a family, a real family, and that this is good for him. And the Potters are lovely people, and nearly as wealthy as the Blacks— well erm, as close as can be possible for ordinary folks. And James is Sirius’s brother in all but blood. Of course Sirius wouldn’t want to spend the week in Remus’s sleepy hometown with his bookish father and somewhat smothering Mam. But then he gets a call at two in the morning— so three in the morning by them— and It’s a pissed Sirius screaming into the phone over the music of some club and Remus hears a girl’s voice crowing his name and he hangs up in the middle fo Sirius trying to tell him some story about a boat or llama or what the fuck ever. And then Sirius storms to their shared dormitory when they all got back, yelling at Remus for not answering his calls for the rest of the week, and then Remus screamed back that he didn’t want to keep him from his haram of girls. And Sirius snarled out that he didn’t kiss or even bloody flirt with any of them and that Remus needs to start trusting him or pull that stick out his ass. And Remus was just so taken aback he had no idea what to say, so he just shook his head, discarded words and pounced on him for them to snog instead— James and Peter rolling their eyes as they slowly exited the room.
And there entire relationship is a bit like that, firecrackers that simmer to something tender because their foundation has always been the purest, most important friendship and even though the sex is fucking miraculous and mind-blowing and maddeningly delicious, they’ll always be friends. 
So that’s why Remus gets so angry that Sirius is acting so blasé when Snape finds out about them and threatens to tell the whole school. “It’s not a big deal Moons, practically everyone who isn’t an idiot already knows.”
And Remus swears he saw red, felt his blood pressure pulse. “Well my parents don’t know, and I’d rather be the one to tell them instead of them hearing it from the gossip mill from one of the other students parents!”
And Sirius’s expression got very stoney right then, his shoulders drawn back and brows furrowed. “So what? You’re ashamed that you’re dating a bloke? Or a bloke who’s own parents didn’t want him?”
And Remus is so fucking gobsmacked, so disbelieving that this is still such a point of sensitivity for him. That he still isn’t quite comprehensive just how much and how thoroughly and how desperately Remus loves him, and all that comes out is “You’re a bloody pillock.” And Sirius doesn’t give him enough time to explain himself and before he knows it they’re on the train home and Sirius isn’t even talking to him and he’s home in Wales once more.
He tries messaging Sirius all summer long, tries explaining himself. He even tells his parents that he’s as gay as the day is long, and they were so supportive that it gave him hope. But then Remus goes to Lily’s house one night for a movie, and her phone pins with a snap notification from James, and she tells him to open it for her while she tries pulling out the biscuits from the oven, and Remus Sees a dorky looking James, a London night club’s logo on the bottom of the filter and it’s all innocent until he really looks and he sees Sirius— clear as day, and he’s kissing another bloke. A blonde, good looking bloke that Remus could never be and one that Sirius deserves. And he feels so empty, so exhausted, so tired of it all as he numbly hands it over to a anxious looking Lily.
And Remus decides right then that he and Sirius really need to end this. 
They need to cut all the strings of this ill-fated romance, because they’re both too volatile and too sporadic. They can’t risk their friendship over this. Remus can’t lose Sirius just because Remus never deserved him as a boyfriend.
So when they get back to classes for their sixth year, Remus pretends nothing had ever happened between them.
He acts cordial, and companionable and like the friend he was to Sirius before he let his bloody emotions get in the way. And Sirius is suspicious but cautious and sometimes he looks like he does when he wanted to kiss him, so Remus would have to race off and he’d stay out late as possible in the library so to get back to their room after they’ve all fallen asleep. And he’s thankful he does the one time he finds that Sirius had ended up falling asleep in Remus’s bed while waiting up for him.
On one of those nights out to the library he begins speaking with Ezra.
Ezra is a prefect also, and he’s a year above them in classes so he gladly helps Remus with the questions he has for the course work. He’s extremely handsome, and Remus doesn’t feel so guilty when he recognizes the fact. He’s got brown hair numerous shades darker from Remus’s tawny color, and he’s got very lovely green eyes and he smiles at Remus shyly. So it’s not a surprise when he kisses him softly for the first time in early October, and it’s nice. It’s not fire licking up his insides like Sirius’s kisses are, but it’s sweet. And he’s sweet. 
They go out on casual dates to the city on allotted weekends and they drink coco by the fire. He tells Remus about growing up right outside Edinburgh and Remus tells him about the sea glass his Mam taught him to find by the ocean, and his collection of shells and his favorite peer to watch the sunset and Ezra listens like he is so very interested. And They’re a quiet pair, even the first time he gives Remus a blow job behind the greenhouses. And it’s good, because it’s fucking sex of course its good. But he doesn’t know how to use his tongue like Sirius learned how, or how to squeeze just a bit too tightly around his shaft when he’s lapping the head. But it’s not Ezra’s fault. Sirius and Remus had plenty of practice, the one thing they did more than laugh or argue was fuck. And that’s because it was always fun, always good. They stumbled through it together and learned what they liked and what they didn’t and how amazing it felt whenever they were intwined like that— When Sirius was on top of him, underneath him, deep inside of him and all around him.
But that’s not a fair comparison. Sirius has always excelled in everything, has always been a supernova. And Remus needs to learn how to be his friend again, and stop remembering all those times between the sheets or hidden behind the greenhouses or sometimes even in closets between classes.
And they’re getting there. Sirius has stopped trying to wait up for him, and he laughs at his jokes easily again. He doesn’t touch Remus, not really, not ever. And he looks like a flicker has been blown out behind his disarmingly handsome face, but they’re getting closer.
And Ezra is great, Ezra is so amazing. He’s sweet and he texts Remus a good night and good morning message every day. He walks him to class and they kiss softly goodbye. He buys Remus cherry filled brownies even tho that’s possibly the one type of chocolate he doesn’t like. But he eats them anyways because he knows they’re expensive. And he steadfastly ignores the box of his favorite caramel ones that are left on his bed the morning after Ezra got them for him.
And when Ezra comes over their house for Christmas he’s perfect in front of his parents. He complements the dinner Lyall made and how lovely Hope’s necklace is. And he gets along seamlessly with Lily when they met up nearly every night to go out to the tree in the center of her hometown or ice skating or to take pictures by the lights.
But when he leaves, Remus just feels empty. He stays up all night thinking about it, about why he can’t love Ezra the way he loved— the way he’s always loved and continues to love Sirius. How he will forever love Sirius. And he ends up cursing Sirius’s name a thousand times over throughout  the span of one night.
And it’s back to the start of the story with Remus and Lily lounging in his living room and looking at the photo and Remus feels his eyes watering and Lily kissing his cheek while silently handing him his phone.
They exchange a smile.
And Remus decides he’ll talk to Ezra in person, explain how he’s a great guy and how lucky Remus was to be with him. But now— well now he needs to slide open his phone because he can hardly breathe anymore.
And when he hears Sirius’s familiar, golden baritone answering tentatively, “Hiya Moons.”
And Remus swallows down the emotion in his throat, and he just loves him so much.
“Can you drive up here? Preferably not with the bike.”
“James’s Dad left us his car.” Sirius retorts, and Remus can hear the smile in his voice. “But, are you sure?”
And Remus wants to scream it to the clouds and the ocean and the mountain tops that of course he is, that this— the emotions he has for Sirius, the way he loves him— is the one sure thing in his life.
“I love you Pads.”
A silence beats between them before he hears Sirius answer back, buoyant and vivid and so much him that it aches.
“I love you to Moony. I love you so much.”
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sorry mutuals this has to be the longest reaction post i have ever done in like 7 years of tumblr sldkjfklsd this episode was just A Lot
-weekly butthurt recall that chibnall beat me in using the faiths in a 13 doctor story and now when i do it in next year in my xena crossover is not gonna seen as clever. damn u chibnall. -”bel’s story” omg what is this.... high concept realness??? im in. -my meta-analysis of "flux is a metaphor for climate change/enviromeltal catastrophe" gets stronger every episode. -SEXU BRONZE DALEKS. love those fuckers. bless them for finally iguring out floating. rip any stairs or swamps that get in their path. -even more irl enviromental collapse parlallels: the fear over right neo nazi factions rising in europe rn. -"my love" is she gay? -these blue time-bees reminds me of the thingies from father's day. miss those cute guys. they never showed up again ): -there's so much color everywhere this season... who knew the end of the world would be so pretty... -the little echo effect of swarm fingers snapping in the recap... ooh yes -the day going to black effect ohhh yesss -im watching the audiodescribed version for the first time and i's really interesting to be honest! im picking up a lot of new vocabulary for the weird things that they describe on screen lol -ooooooohhhhhhh pov of the doctor man!!! im loving this. i have read a lot of fics of people trying to do this, specially this era, and it feels very satisfying how the show is confirming that “high speed” thinking. -”leap and the net will appear, that’s what john buroughs told me” we love 1 little bitch namedropping even in monologue / just to show off to the audience she doesn’t know is there.
-(yes in this case “little bitch” is gender-neutral)
-this effect of the other 3 “falling” into the time storm looked a bit silly tbh dskljfkl and i love jodie but her green-screen acting in this bit.... dsklfjklds well... let’s just say she’s had better moments. -the eu feelings intensify -WHAT IS HAPPENING -I LOVE THIS -INFERNO REALNESS??? -jodie is so beautiful -seriously what is happening -diana get away from him he has a dog husband to come back to >:( -he's so smooth tho i love him. -"you are not ugliest fella in this city" oh no they are cute ): -i hate liking dan this much. how dare this show make me root for someone male straight and white AGAIN. -ohh and his parallels to the doctor’s personality intensify... - -THASMIN REGULAR PEOPLE AU. -ok not quite but i got really excited for a sec sdljkf -all this casual banter is killing me what are ya'll  saying stop speaking so fast. there’s foreigners in the audience. -dan/diane x thasmin parallels -lol this constant "diverse casting for cops" is sure a thing huh. i see through u chibs/bbcs. #acab -the sfx artists are on fire this episode (i hope they got paid well and didn’t have crunch time....) -Right. if all time is bleeding through and things are like, all over the place..., it actually makes a lot of sense lore-wise that weeping angels are over-powered and feasting on everything. it’s not seeming like a pointless bringing of an old monster for fanservice, but actually serves the story a lot if u think about it.good stuff! -i want all these aus omg -mandip in napoleonic era sicfi outfits is doing things to me -wow "grant serpent" doesn't sounds ominous and evil at all vinder. def an organization u can trust. -jodie in black is doing thins to me -NITRO NINE TIME -Ace should have patented that formula smh -13 referring to vinder as "that other lad" cos she doesn't know him yet lollll -once you get the "trick" of how this episode / serial work’s structure works is a little less impressive, but i’m still having fun w/ it and the actual content of the flashbacks. -time storms ldskfjlk THIRTEEN QUICK THROW THIS ALARM CLOCK!!! THE PAST IS COMING OUT OF HER EAR...... -(do ppl still remember that meme? i should find it again man, it was so good slkdjf) -the art desiggggnnnHhhhnggggg -also: something about pyramids and platonic solids and greek mythology./alchemy.. maybe they should have put a dodecahetron instead? pyramds represent fire after all, not the ether/time... (not that they dont look cool but, they could have continued the greek theme!) -RUTH RUTH RUTHTHTRFJKHKJDSLHFLSKJDHFLSDJKHFLSKDJHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHF -¨this is my past" HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THE TIME LOOP IM- THAT'S WHY WE DIDNT HAVE 13'S IN A FLASHBACK IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS HER FLASHBACK AHHH -chibnall have my babies -the absolute disgust when ruth looks at thirteen as realizes she is her reflection.... peak In-Character doctor mood. ("i’m not the woman i used to be, thank god") -(look all i want is 20009809 low-stake stories about thirteen/ruth having a fun two/three // seven/five mutual-repulsion dynamic... is that really asking too much, EU/fic writers. i never asked you for anything) -"pretty smart for a dog" -no but memes aside this is really impressive... like, it's very sophisticated plotting, and the weaving of lore is great... but it's still all about character building for our 4 (5 ) heroes. it’s nice that chibnall keeps that in mind. -that said... this episode is kicking my ESL ass... my brain is spinning trying to keep up ToT -OHHH man. so much backstory. -lol ruth is so done even when she is helping her future self. i love them so much -"you fucked up, me." -dallying. -OHH THE CAPITALIST PIGS IN THEIR FUNNY HATS ARE BACK - im digging the like, subtle horror-vibe of this. the cackling was pretty creepy dslkjf. -honestly this serial is also a great tourist ad for liverpool. just look at that waterfront! woah -this ghostly effect is pretty nice -BEL THE LUPARI ARE FINE DONT WORRY (the retroactive storytelling!!!... chef’s kiss) -the subtle commentary of these alien fuckers (meritocrat cybermen, nazi daleks, supremacist warmonger sontarans, etc) having to be fought even at the end of the world is really y cool. idk what to make of it yet political-messaging-wise but i dig it lol something like... how we have to fight until the end and shit and we have to struggle as long as we are alive and... that's fine... good stuff worth thinking about. -hey there not-brax. -"challenges are temporary, life is constant" -is she a past / future companion? like melanie bush in trial of a time lord? -vinder's story makes me want to replay SW: KOTOR 1+2 so bad. The aesthetic/vibe of this mission is so on-point w/ that game... -ok i think the specific primal horror this story is tapping into is like..., being at work and not knowing what's happening that day or missing an assignment and school lol -SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA -bless this confirming a headcanon i didn't even knew i had that, not only is yaz not into any kind of "modern music", she also doesn't like "video-games." ( i love 1 boring-ass bi-mess with no social life). -also im losing my mind at fake-gamer-gurl sonya. -13 is such a sassy asshole to yaz even when she's helping her lol im sorry guys but this is every entertaining dslkjfsdklfj -noooo!!! this was my thing ... i was going to have thirteen take the place of the fates dammit again chibnall ): im gonna have to rewrite the climax of part 3 aghhslkdjf -future memories... eyes emoji -omg omg omg yaz picking up things!! i love you yaz u are so smart even if 13 doesnt see it. -this episode reminds me of how much dw deserves a proper videogame. -ooh they took the "image of an angel is angel" thing! i like. -CLEVER YAZ -"do you want me to be single forever?" i died -"PROTECT YAZ.... and that lad." -division dark-side thirteen/ruth are doing things to me. -"do not underestimate me" put me down as horny *and* confused :D -man division!era swarm was a lot less glittery... it’s like the meta of how each master is very much designed as a foil for "their" doctor lol -also swarm gives tim-shaw such a kicking. -hmm... ‘the passenger’ gives me watcher vibes... -the eu-vibes of this adventure intensifies. -there's so much lore and funky wilderness-era dialogue happening here and it's all nonsense scientifically ... and i love it. -”TIME SHALL NEVER SURRENDER TO SPACE” -which other show gives you dialogue like this honestly? i’ll wait -cartmell is weeping for not coming up with this. -thirteen/ruth using the “forbidden form” of multiverse tech... ohhh yes -not!dan with karvanista laser’s axe :)  dogtp -"YOU AND ME TOGETHER" that’s gay doc -bell is so cute --- she is so gonna die isn’t she ): -i have no idea what ruth!thirteen did but it sure seemed epic, clever and....... ruthless (eyy) -ohh another bit of retroactive storytelling here... now we know how swarm got captured! -”WE SHALL NOT BE CONTAINED” swarm is such a hamm. i love them. nimon serial energy tbh. -i appreciate the continuity of the time storm design being the same as the time vortex this era (as per the opening credits) -also the continuity of the faiths being gold! aka the screwdriver aka the current tardis crysals aka the logo aka thirteen's signature color. we love meaningful and consistent color usage *clap cla*. -”CONVERT THIS CU*Ts” i love her. -7 billion cybermen... are these the parallel earth OG cybermen? from hartnell era? hence the same population as earth? -i love the message of this story: all these civs striving for conquering things-... but there's no point to conquering because the earth/world/universe is all gonna end anyway. good stuff. -*blasts the cyber with a laser* "Love is the only mission.idiot.“ wtf i LOVE her. -(also i rewatched one of my favorite fiive/tegan scenes after the bit with and it was relevant to this moment!) -”stop te recording” ohh shit the guy is gonna betray vinder / do something shady. -i liked the continuity of "recording" motifs connecting the previous bell scene and this storyline. -ppl were right last week man i mean "fray samport"?? these names are such classic who bs lolll -honestly props to chibnall for making me so invested in all these side-characters. vinder u deserve the world son not these corrupt space napoleonic fuckers. -vinder you are an idiot though dslkjf if someone tells you "have you spoken to your family about any of this?" you cant trust them it’s obviously a threat. -idiot slkfjkl -segun has been pretty chill this episode tbh. i noticed a couple moments that could have done with more music... -maybe it's better tho it might have been too much sensory overload skldjf -YESSS DOGGIE -OHhh ho fuck i love this. the temptation of the doctor to see everything... even more torture bc it is yet another “selfish” choice they aren’t even allowed to make... ugh poor bb ): -”WHO ARE YOU??” i love flux. what is anything. who are we? who are you, tumblr user? we don’t really know. -"lost causes are my specialty" <3 <3 <3 -so “THE RAVEGERS” azure and swarm got  introduced by something? meaning there’s a bigger fish behind all this? valeyard? -is she the master? romana? the rani?????? SUSAN??????¡¡¡¡ -"EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME" ahh my favourite rtd themeeee!!!!! - also again..., climate change fightin' vibes -ahh frog universe vibes. -"it was made. it was placed" more: "humands" didn't cause climate collapse some very powerful people that resist systemic change did. -who knows who this old lady is but she is calling out the doc hypocrisy so obviously, we tan :) -"You dont understand anything" maybe if you told her things... jackass....??? -man im so into this arc. so good. -ohhh--- the first few chords of thirteen's theme in this scene suddenly interrupted with the "this is bad happenings" music... i see u segun. i see u. -"WE'RE GONNA STOP YOU" (crickes) dan i love you you absolute madlad. -dude the constant parallels and all the “romantic  love beating the odds” framing and thirteen just not getting it and yaz subtle side glance... dare i say.... #thasminendgame. -swarm has a little pig nose. -aghh the reflection thing coming back again!! cinematographyyy -hehe another "vinder as yaz's companion" moment. so cute. -dan has known the doctor for like 2 day but it’s like he has speed-run through an entire companion arc lol -thirteen like HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THINGS dsslkfjlksd ass!!! -i feel like yaz might die / sacrifice herself by connecting some dots before the doctor and thirteen is gonna realize it only too late and she's gonna feel like a complete idiot for the rest of her fourteenth incarnation. -(sigh of relief) ohhhh god bless. vinder isnt yaz's endgame dslfjsdkl good for him vinder/belll otp let them reunite and have a million little tamagotchis :) i do not have an ulterior agenda for this :)))) -”and YOUR URBORN CHILD AS WELLLLL” slkdjfkld this is so cheesy i love it. -oh no ): i dont like where this is going.... -omg i love this cheesy grease summer loving effect... what is doctor who if not intellect and ROMANCE over brute force and cynicism? -if im gay and you are gay then who is that angel piloting this plane
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jae-canikeepyou · 4 years
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| smitten | j.jh
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pair: jaehyun x fem!reader
genre: au + fluff + idol!jaehyun & solo artist!yn
a/n: hnngg gosh i loved writing this request ;-; i combined this too!! it might not be well-written but i’m pretty sure my fluttery jeelings hit me so hard haha hope you all enjoy reading loves! ~j.
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aggravating clashes of utensils fell on the wooden floor, the impact squeezed chests and jolted the life out of those who heard it. they were finally having the relaxation they waited for until the corners of their eyes followed the fallen items to the source of noise. jaehyun leaning forward against at the kitchen counter; legs about to give in with his phone in hand.
jungwoo approached him, worried that fatigue might’ve taken over the guy. he picked up the kitchen wares and towels, placing them back where they were meant to be. “hyung, are you alright?” he touched his friend’s forehead since his ears were prominent red, hot to the touch. “you’re not yourself since you woke up. got anything to say?”
jaehyun could only press his lips like he tasted his own blood. no words came out of him and this only heightened everyone’s curiosity. he walked back to where the others were and put his phone on the table. how could he explain this news to them without letting them start to tease? they already teased him last christmas’ performance with naeun. he was sure they’d do the same for this one. and as far as he was concerned, his heart continued to drum heavily that he could feel its pulse against his skin.
should i tell them? he asked himself.
“nothing.” his glanced quickly. what he missed seeing were the sly smirks that began to spread around his friends’ faces.
johnny started to tease, a satisfied smile growing where it showed his pearly whites. “tell me it’s what i think it is.” because of this phrase it made jaehyun’s ears turned more red and gave johnny the impression knowing he hit might’ve the bullseye, right at the center. “no way, so it is!” he exclaimed repeatedly and the younger one hoped he would shut it.
their cheers went from one to another and at that moment he knew they shared the same brain cell. “ha? no. stop assuming, john.” jaehyun gulped from his cup, swallowing it like it was bottom’s up. he kept it by his lips so it wouldn’t reveal his actual feelings.
“stop denying.” yuta propped his chin for a better position. “your ears gave it away.” if it was yuta, everyone knew they were automatically knocked out in the battle. no one could stand a chance against his words or actions.
“damn it! don’t point out my ears!” jaehyun groaned and accepted defeat by slumping on the table. he unlocked his phone then sliding it across the furniture.
they crowded upon the device and scrolled to see what nearly made the dude fall on his knees. it was only one word and that was enough to lit the light bulbs floating on top of the others’ heads. “oh well what’s the tea?” taeil asked, clearly pretending to be innocent since they were all interested now that jaehyun reacted sooner than expected.
mark shoved spoonfuls of cereal before seeing the entire digital conversation with their manager, he grumbled and hit johnny continuously as he reacted with his mouth full. “you‘re doing a duet with y/n?!” he asked that he nearly spat milk everywhere.
jaehyun exhaled, brushing back the strands of his hair and wore his headband. “yeah. the agency told me to collab a cover with her and said we start in two days.”
“you don’t sound excited. you nervous?” taeil opened a bag of granola bars and laid them at the center, soon devouring them like it were the last ones.
“up until now we’ve only collabed with boy groups.” he showed them the rehearsal pictures from that time. his shaky hands were proof that he was probably nervous.
johnny poked the guy’s chest to come back to reality. “shouldn’t you be less worried? she’s from the same label as ours.” his laughs have made all of them giggle.
the dimple boy wasn’t nervous or worried, it was incomparable to a grain of sand nor those two words were in his dictionary. he was perfectly fine with practicing with you. however, have his friends forgotten about what they did to him during pre-debut days?
he recalled the time you both first met, and that became the most-discussed topic within nct. it spread to all like wildfires. how that started was during trainee life. popularity votes were common and each had to choose the first place female trainee votes by male trainees and vice versa. the results came out, you and jaehyun ranked first. they made you both stand next to each other and this was when it got messy.
everyone tends to pair the firsts, so they began by teasing because they believed this was where the “developing” start. jaehyun knew what they did was a natural thing to do, all have experienced the hot seat and the endless snickers. if there was anything jaehyun would like to change in his body, it has to be his ears. they turned red the moment the ooh’s and yeee’s echoed the rehearsal studio. of course he did like you, but it was just like every person in the agency did.
you were a new artist who debuted under the same label as the said group; doing mostly of your orginals, small ost’s and covers. they knew you. in fact during trainee days, they’ve heard your name countless of times as there were praises towards your angelic vocals and coaches would use you as an example. nct 127 never heard anything from you since they debuted, but knew you were still in the label.
“it’s been years, hasn’t it?” jungwoo turned the television on. “from what i know, that was the last voting we ever did.”
wait what? jaehyun stepped out of his dazed mind and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. they didn’t forget? he looked at his friends as they light up in realisation.
taeil popped a snack in his mouth, entertained with today’s topic. “ah! right right! we did vote! y/n was voted as the first once!”
johnny waved his palms and shook in excitement now that the memory from years ago was brought back. “man, i’ll hug whoever came up with this idea. they’re smart. we should make them do a throwback picture too.” he said as he quickly dove into the deeper files of his laptop to look for pictures for proof.
jaehyun rubbed his face in annoyance that they remembered that time. his phone vibrated as it indicated a new message from an unknown number on the lockscreen. he was about to reach it when yuta’s reflexes were faster.. always* faster; swiftly taking it like they were carkeys. yuta loved teasing and scaring the life out of his friends. among them he loved seeing jaehyun fluster the most.
he put the phone in front of jaehyun and made the lad think he was showing the message to him. this was proven false when the screen unlocked from the face i.d., and yuta laughed devilishly, typing away in a jiffy, which jaehyun panicked and tried to take the phone back.
“dude let me just press ‘send’!” yuta screamed, his smooth movements were impossible for the affected boy to catch up to.
“what were you typing?” jaehyun got hold of the phone and stared at the screen, his eyes adjusting to the fonts within the message bubble.
[16:08] from unknown: hyemin, this is y/n. stop changing your phone #! are u even my manager why did you say i agreed? :/
[16:09] from unknown: oh whatever i’m calling you rn >:(
he jogged out of the dorm when it began to vibrate crazily, your digits calling him. his friends’ yells were soon muffled to a silence as the door behind him clicked to a close. he pressed the green button to answer. “hello?” his voice greeted.
a hitched breath followed by a gasp heard from the other line. he let out a low chuckle, making you more nervous than usual because you recognised the owner of the voice and you hadn’t talked with him since his group debuted.
he backed himself into the door, one hands in his pockets whilst he waited for the caller’s response. soft thuds hit the door and he felt it often the more the whispers behind the wooden partition. his friends were indeed listening, actually, they were eavesdropping.
“j-jaehyun?” you closed your eyes, then cursing at yourself for being too careless and straight-forward with your actions.
“hyun. jae.” he chuckled. uh-huh. did he just tease you? “i’m kidding. it’s jaehyun. you thought this number was hyemin’s?” he laughed over the phone.
oh boy, he was just as you remembered him to be. a humble person who caused a positive uproar within the walls of the girls’ rehearsal room. co-trainees of yours always mentioned his name; saying he was kind and a gentleman. you never saw him until you both stood in front of everyone as firsts. “i- uh.. sorry, a phone number was anonymously given to me. manager hyemin’s been playing pranks and..”
“i see, it’s alright y/n. don’t pressure too much because of this. i’ll see you soon though?” his voice pitched higher as if he was interested and looked forward to the duet. maybe a lot more higher when he called you by your name.
“mhm, yeah.” your toes curled from feeling your chest experience a good panic. “see you.”
jaehyun didn’t know why he nodded despite the short conversation being a phone call. he said a gentle goodbye and once you did too, he ended the call, swinging the door open and caused the boys to fall to the floor like dominos. “i’m not helping a pile of idiots. you did this to yourselves.” he singsonged and stuck out his tongue and prepared to take his leave.
the monotonous beeps ringing through the phone somehow calmed the waves of your uncontrollable heart beats. you laid on your bed defeatedly, face down to the pillow. the entire noise of your apartment was nothing but the sound of your drumming heart, pulsing against your flesh and you could feel it in your veins. “so what they (co-trainees) said is true.. jaehyun does make you feel things.”
little did you know, he was on the same boat.
whether or not it was from the results of being the firsts from the trainees’ votes or that he began noticing your presence often in the company building at every recording schedule of nct’s, jaehyun was shocked at himself that he couldn’t concentrate at all. you, a girl super laid back during trainee life blossomed to be a professional artist everyone came to adore. maybe including him too.
the venue you both were told to go was perfect for the duet cover. staff members already prepared two instruments and were placed at one corner with the wall of plants. jaehyun sat at the table, earphones plugged into his ears as his head matched with the rhythms of the song. he then caught sight of you approaching him and removed one of the buds. “hi.” he stood to pull out a chair, a smile creeping on both of your lips. “last listen before we start?”
“sure.” you took one and looked at him; an ethereal person in casual clothes, boyfriend material worthy. it’s no wonder people called him their first love. and this attire of his probably got you under his spell too.
trying not to sing out loud, you lip-synced the lyrics for the final time and swayed to each word. jaehyun took a good look at you, his eyes forming crescent shapes when he saw how embarrassed you felt— because you were caught by him. it hasn’t been a minute, the staff asked to be on cue and you both head to where the instruments were; a piano and an acoustic guitar.
instinctively, your hands reached for the edge of the piano, it was one you could play. however, jaehyun too, had his hands on it and simultaneously you both retracted. “you want to play the keys?” you hear him asked, immediately nodding at his inquiry.
he let out a nervous chuckle which was followed by his cute, jutted lips. “well i could play the guitar but it’s been ages since i last held one. my strums might sound rusty.”
“no problem.” you twirled on your heels and grabbed the guitar and saw an electronic finger drum pad beside the keyboard, pointing at it as well. “i’ll play these two and we’re good to go.” your giggles had him all feeling fluttery inside and he fought so hard to not be exposed.
he wasn’t going to lie. jaehyun’s heart did skip a beat. you were only doing final tunings for a better sound but the way you looked so dedicated with this field of work, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. sunlight appeared like it was your own emitting aura, almost identical to an angel that was heaven-sent. the light current of wind added to your source of elegance and the plants behind became your world. took him a second or two to fathom out that he was dragged into your beauty.
were you always this gorgeous?
because it has been days since he was told to do a duet with you, sometimes he felt his breaths trying to catch up with his racing beats of his heart. they were lacking behind, so far back that you being there or just sitting.. had him awestruck.
“jaehyun?” you waved small that he twitched in his seat, his thoughts cutting short from your sweet voice. “they’re signalling to test the camera. are you alright with one practice?”
he turned to the staff and said the cue. jaehyun did stretches before placing his hands lightly on the keys. you sat straight to not appear tired as you palm muted the strings, soon harmonising with the sustained chords he played. a duet rendition of say you won’t let go.
the camera panned sideways along its dolly track rail, your eyes followed the lens as you began to set the mood. you took a deep breath before singing.
“i met you in the dark, you lit me up. you made me feel as though, i was enough. we danced the night away, we drank too much. i held your hair back when you were throwing up.”
he was amazed that you quickly brought your hands out for a while to tap the buttons for percussions, each beat matched with the rhythm of his playing.
“then you smiled over your shoulder. for a minute i was stone cold sober..” his baritone followed suit. it was hypnotic that you couldn’t resist to stare at him as dimples subtly reveal themselves on his smooth skin on each word.
jaehyun’s eyes grew at the sweet soulful tone while you sang the verse that he forgot to sing with you at the next sentence. “i pulled you closer to my-” you continued in a harmonised key and later stopped, a giggle bubbling out of you.
his admiration for you was interrupted upon your laugh. the frazzled boy lifted his fingers off the keys, hands clasped together for an apology. “ah, i’m sorry.”
“it’s alright. don’t pressure too much because of this.” you said with assurance. “i get nervous sometimes too.” yeah of course you were. you got to collab with him despite your busy schedules.
the dimples on his cheeks deepened. did you use the same sentence as he did few days ago?
“you looked fine to me.” he licked his lips. “pretty too.” and he mumbled to himself, but you were too occupied with the guitar in your hand that you didn’t hear what he said. “can we start from the top?” clearing his throat, he was glad you didn’t hear it. or else he would be embarrassed.
singing with you was like coffee. jaehyun had this particular, specific impression as he spotted a café prior to coming here. he knew fans loved his voice, a unique baritone that was very prince-like. if he were to reference it, his vocals alone was like americano. people would get addicted to the taste despite it being uncommon in the kpop industry. although they enjoyed it, the staff thought it would be better to include you in the duet.
so you became the sugar to his vocals, a pleasant timbre that was as calming as the rain’s patter. voices perfectly blended together in different ranges, both delicate and careful. you have sung with other artists through covers and orginals, however jaehyun stood out the most in all of those, in which made you think this collab was the one you enjoyed.
[ both harmonising ]
“..and you asked me to stay over i said, i already told you i think that you should get some rest.”
“i knew i loved you then, you'd never know ‘cause i played it cool when i was scared of letting go.”
“i knew i needed you i never showed but i wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old.”
“just say you won't let go, just say you won't let go.”
jaehyun felt giddy inside hearing your voice fit with his. as you both enjoyed each other’s presence during the cover, he could sense that after today, he definitely took a liking for you— but his heart knew him better than he thought.
he fell in love with you on the spot.
hours have passed and a total of five takes were recorded, majority of which three of them were slightly messed up because either jaehyun forgot his lines or you needed to be quenched or vice versa. jaehyun fixed his brown outerwear as he observed you from afar, tying a low bun to prevent your hair adding heat from the scorching hot weather. eyes extremely focused on the camera from the second last cover video.
all was finished for the day yet there was half an hour left until you both separate ways. jaehyun decided to buy drinks and got one for you as well.
the table you sat on slightly shook from the impact he did to place the ordered beverages. “i didn’t know what you like, so i got you latte.” he pulled the chair to sit, sliding the cup to you.
“hm, you sure about that?” you raised a brow and appreciated his effort to go out his way for this. “latte’s like my go-to drink. thank you.”
jaehyun kept himself composed, he had to hide his smile behind the cup. it was dying to show. he hoped you didn’t see him. your arms almost meet when he scooted closer to view the video together. the frame was perfectly placed at the center and you couldn’t believe you both sounded well together.
you heard his soft tsk’s, there were small amount of water rolling down his cup from the ice inside. he got up to get extra tissue. as you waited for him, you checked the device and clicked on its previous button. it was a video of him holding a wireless camera lavaliere microphone and with your mind full of curiosity, you played it.
it contained his ending ment and if you listened closely, it was for a vlog you were familiar with, a channel where he documented his daily ‘yuno’ vlogs for his fans. the motion automatically played and he spoke through the wireless mic.
something about this had you rewinding it twice. he was staring off into space as he spoke, his eyes trailing— actually following someone. he gave a little twitch and pout of the lips, that was the same when he forgot to harmonise with you. the wind blew his hair, revealing his dusted pink ears and eyes enlarging the more he followed where you went.
the thought of his reaction caused you to shy around him once he came back and had two desserts in his hands. maybe if the winds answered your prayers to confirm what you saw in the video was true, it could convince you enough.
the said boy handed you the utensils and as you had your first bite, he loved how the café’s lights became your glow, the music became your introduction. heat eventually spread his entire face.
yes, nature heard your calls,
and yes, his heart told him that
he’s so smitten with you.
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tractorbeamofwoe · 3 years
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heyyy feeling kinda bored being alone at home rn so i'm gonna drop some q's if that's ok with you haha
1. what's your ranking for catb albums?
2. fav catb performance?
3. top 3 fav lyrics from catb and inhaler?
4. top 3 bands you love other than catb & inhaler?
5. this one's kinda personal but i was wondering if you're studying music? or maybe doing sth related to music? cuz i kinda get the impression that you can sing well haha!
cheers and have a lovely day! x
Ahhhh I feel you anon. I still have one more day left of isolation so this is just as interesting for me as it is for you haha 😭
Okay so catb albums. The Balcony would be at number 1 however it gets 2nd place because it’s Billy and not Bondy. The Balance is my fave Catb album which is ironic because I used to hate it haha. And then in 3rd I’m gonna say The Ride only because I don’t tend to listen to it in full very often but also because it has Emily on it and Emily is my least fave catb song 💀💀
If I think about my fave catb performance too hard I won’t be able to decide so I’m just going to say straight off the bat TRNSMT 2019. I never usually find myself rewatching festival sets but that’s one that I could watch over and over and over again and fall in love with it more every time. The set list was perfect and they all looked so good! 👀
lyrics is so difficult man 😭 like I could straight up just say the entirety of Hourglass and Anything but that would be cheating
1. “She hates her work but loves to flirt, it’s a shame she don’t work with me”
2. “I left recording finishing the same hook I was singing when we come in from dinner“
3. “I’d rather go blind than let you down”
and for Inhaler
1. “It won’t always be like this”
2. “you’re not on your own”
3. “Darling I’m in love with you”
(kinda simple ones but they mean a lot to me 🙂)
Okay well other than catb and Inhaler I love all of Bondy’s old bands and his mates’ bands so like Detroit Social Club, Symphonic Pictures, Them Things, Jango Flash
But I bang on about that lot all the time so minus them, I’d say my three favourite bands would be...
The 1975 (had a massive 1975 phase a few years ago, not so much now but I still vibe with the music) 5 Seconds of Summer (seeing them live fingers crossed next year 😁) and i’m sorta getting more into Blossoms lately and they’re lovely lads so they’ve won my heart haha.
That’s so funny you say that because I am a music student yeah! I think I’ve only mentioned it a couple times on here but I absolutely love it. And omg anon you’re too nice cause singing is my area of expertise 🥺❤️ I definitely want a job in the music industry. I mean I wanna be a musician but I’ll be happy if I can work somewhere musicy for the time being while I get everything worked out haha. There was a brief period of time where I considered being a music teacher but I just don’t think it’s my thing 💀💀
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China & America
China: What the actual fuck
China: Mullans is an actual paedo
China: Why else would he cast her in that role, it’s so fucked to make us all participate in his creepy fantasy for no good reason
China: She makes no sense as Elizabeth, like not at all
America: If he was he’d have cast me as the lead instead of killing me off first
America: say the word & I’d actually participate in his Lolita kink 🍭👓❤️
America: meanwhile he’d get accused of favouritism if he gave you the role you wanted every year & if you weren’t grateful enough last time, why would he?
China: Shut up
China: Neither of you should get the role, you’re just kids
China: I’ve been here for 4 years now, he knows I can act, she’s not been in anything before
China: Her and Jake are going to look so dumb together
America: I should’ve got more of a role than lounging around looking fuckable and then killable for a scene but I’m not bitching about it
America: You don’t get offed until right at the end, Lucie has 0 scenes with Jake & an ugly outfit, you’ve got fuck all to complain about, you hated her more than Libi last I checked
America: He’ll look stupid anyway, he’s an imbecile
America: find another excuse to 😋🤤 over him
China: A maid’s outfit isn’t ugly, she’ll probably hit up adam & eve for it
China: Or take her ma’s
China: A big word for you, isn’t it?
China: He can’t help that Mullans cast a literal child as his lover, lucky he hasn’t dropped out on principle honestly
America: I was trying to stop you spiralling about Lucie as well as Libi but I don’t know why I bothered 🙄
America: Jake can’t help that he doesn’t have principles
China: I’m not spiralling
China: And you don’t even know him
America: I can’t help him having too many faces & personalities to keep up with
America: I’ve got a life of my own
China: Your pettiness surrounding him is so beside the point
China: Your little friend thinks she’s God’s gift I s2g
China: This is going to be such bullshit now
America: to get back to your pettiness about Libi
America: she gave the best audition, what was up with yours, fucking up half your lines like that?
China: I had to go basically last
China: aka already had to watch her using the deaf kid for bonus points
America: How else was he supposed to audition? Mr Mullan doesn’t know any sign language, deaf kids don’t tend to take music
China: Yeah, perhaps that’s a sign he shouldn’t
China: She totally used him for her own gain, what’s he going to do, seriously?
America: they’re friends & she helped him, I know you’ve lost yours but try & think back to when you had some
China: you’re beyond gullible if you believe any of her act
China: and I’m not talking about her audition
America: Yeah, she’ll have been biding her time since she was 4 for an opportunity exactly like this 👌
China: Well duh, I’m not saying it’s all about the play
China: it’s all of it, like look at me, I’m SO great 🙄 please
America: But staying on the subject of the play, nobody else can talk to him, he was using her as a translator
America: that’s this shit school’s fault not hers & if everything she touched turned to gold Mullan would’ve cast Bobby as the lead
America: she didn’t get her own way either
China: Even she can’t convince that an actor who can’t talk is a good idea
China: and yeah, bet she’s really gutted she gets to be all doe-eyed at Jake, ha
China: Only the deaf kid 💔 over that
America: Only you & Lucie get like that over Jake
America: & she’s running out of lads, what’s your excuse when you could have any others you want?
China: mhmm
China: literally not true, loads of girls think he’s fit, because he is
China: I don’t expect you to get it
China: not everyone wants to go out with literally the first loser who will
America: loads of people are a ride before they open their mouth but I understand how talk of a shite personality would be awkward for you
America: & yeah you’re probably 💖fated💖 cos of it, I’ll stop fighting that
China: If he didn’t have something about him he wouldn’t be lead rn
China: you can think it’s fake if you like but you don’t know him, like I said
America: Wow, he’s a convincing psychopath that’s what I’d be looking for in a boyfriend
America: 😐
America: you don’t know Libi or Sean but you’re being a cow about them
China: How’d you get that from what I said
China: you’re determined to make him the bad guy
China: not every guy is Gary
China: I know them plenty, like you said, she’s been about forever and he’s hardly an enigma
America: I know Jake’s not [whoever the indie-rock heartthrob is of this era]
China: You’re so fucking childish
China: Don’t ruin this play for the rest of us who don’t wanna look like total twats
America: You’re as delusional as mam
America: ✨💩 is still 💩
America: don’t ruin this play with your sour 🍇
China: I’m not the one out here taking over as if it’s my play
China: One lead role has really gone straight to her head, it’s out of order to exclude people but involve every freak in the school she wants to
America: You want all those ‘freaks’ to be excluded, it’s out of order to even call them that
China: I let Mr Mullans decide, didn’t I?
China: As he’s the actual director, not Libi Foley
America: & if Mr Mullan wants to say anything, he isn’t non-verbal
China: See if he don’t, like
America: it’s meant to be fun, Chi
America: remember when we used to have loads of it
China: And I’m trying
China: and I have, in every other play
China: I’m not the problem
America: I haven’t been in any.of.the.others. & you’re trying to fucking mess this up cos you’ve got a problem with all the 🏰attention👑 not being on you
China: It’s my thing that’s why
China: For fuck’s sake I can’t have anything anymore
America: & you dared to call me childish
America: Jake’s not a toy, I’d have taken his batteries out if he was
China: You keep bringing him up, I haven’t once
China: You don’t get what this is about at all, so yeah, you’re a fucking child
America: cos I’m not gonna badmouth Libi the way you want me to
America: it’s not her fault you went last & lost your nerve
China: So much for loyalty
America: 🖕 You don’t look out for me at any time
China: That’s bullshit
China: I cover for you constantly
America: You spare yourself the aggro with Gaz, it’s about his tantrums not me
China: You’re gonna lecture me about aggro? Pfft, right, that’s a good one Ricky
America: the subject of today’s lecture is you only giving a fuck about yourself
China: Really?
China: Right, then sod trying to play nice with you and your messed up charity cases
China: Have it your way
America: 👌 you have lost your acting knack
America: or you really don’t know what nice looks like
China: I know Libi Foley is the fakest bitch I’ve ever come across
China: Rather you than me be her little puppet
America: How do you know?
China: I’ve got no friends now, remember?
China: I’d know
America: a non-answer doesn’t help me, if that’s what you’re trying to do
China: Ask why your friend is bitching about me when she knows about our home life rn
China: Not so nice, is it
China: that special first year was telling me how mean they think I am when I asked her why she was in rehearsals
America: You literally are mean to her & she thinks literally
America: that doesn’t have anything to do with Libi
China: She’ll get a slap if she’s literally that rude to the wrong person
China: They’re related, like 2 times over in their incest family
America: You’re still not telling me how or why she’s fake
China: Because she acts like she’s so sweet and she’s bitching about me with a literal imbecile
China: duh
America: You’ll take Astrid’s word for it but not mine
America: what.the.fuck
China: She’s literal, right?
China: Clearly not lying
America: Libi’s not gonna disagree with Astrid to stand up for you, you have been mean to them all loads of times
America: but she’s not actively bitching about you to anyone
China: you wanna believe that so you don’t have to wonder what she could be saying about you
America: I lie better, what the rest of the school is saying is 🥱
China: Don’t get me started on how embarrassing that is
America: 😶
America: you embarrass wayyyyy easily, I don’t know how you’ve survived this family up to Gaz’s gatecrash
China: Nah, I just don’t embarrass myself as naturally as you and Sza do, that’s the truth of it
China: But that’s the whole point, we’re both doing this to have somewhere to be for a few hours a week, don’t hog it and make it so I can’t, yeah?
America: I’m not embarrassed, comparable to her other than our stupid names, or hogging anything including your limelight
China: Tell that to your friends with their private rehearsals, okay
China: how is that good for cast bonding?
America: if you care so much about cast morale, lay off Bobby, Libi & Lucie
China: I haven’t done anything but whatever
America: 😐
China: 🙄
America: Pre-Gary you’d have been the one organising private rehearsals & that’s why you’re mad
America: he’s the freak, nobody else
China: I’ve never said he isn’t my main problem rn
China: Other people can still be arseholes and not help
America: I know
China: Whatever
China: I’m going to find somewhere to be if not I’ll see you at nans
America: I’ll see you at nan’s if Sean’s mam kicks me out of his again
America: 🐁🐈
China: 🙄👌
America: Bless her 💖
America: touching how invested she is in our sexual health & wellbeing
China: yeah it’s well good she thinks you’re that much of a skank
America: Unlike you & Jake we’re officially going out so I don’t have to look out for 💄 mirror messages calling me a whore or sharpie stall graffiti depicting the 🍆😗
China: Unlike me and Jake, you’re 12 so, doubt that
America: I’m nearly 13 & he’s like a month younger than you
China: Yeah, he’s a predator, cool
China: Invite his ma to the party ours won’t throw you
China: Sean and Gaz will get along great
America: 🖕
America: Jake ranks girls by how fuckable they are, including me & you only don’t care how predatory that is cos you’re high up on the list
China: I’m not 12 though am I
China: Any fourth year that needs to hang out with 1st and 2nd years is obviously a freak
China: Look at your boyfriend and deaf kid before you start pointing fingers
America: Could’ve fooled me with how 😍💖 you are
China: At least no one is going to accuse me of fucking someone for a bed
China: How stupid are you, do you want everyone to know our business or what
America: At least a bed is useful, you only wanna fuck Jake for school status
America: nobody cares if he picks you or Lucie except the two of you
China: Romantic
America: You already know I like him
America: the 😍💖💣🍆💫 of it
China: Well I like Jake
America: I know
China: So back off
America: You bitch at me whenever I lie
China: I don’t need to hear your opinion on him because you literally don’t know him
America: You don’t wanna hear my opinion cos it doesn’t match the one you need everyone to have about him for your 🏰validation👑
China: I don’t wanna hear it because it’s irrelevant
China: You clearly don’t get me, never mind him
China: Play grown-up on your own time because it’s just painful to watch
America: I don’t get either of you, but that’s not about how much cooler & older you are than me or how you only get each other
America: finish crafting yourself into his manic pixie dream girl on your own time cos the ✨transformation✨ is 🥱 & 🎃
China: Thanks for the compliment
America: Use your awesomeness to get rid of Gary & I won’t have to sleep anywhere else or tell the real adults how fucked home is
China: I’m not fucking trying?
China: Jesus, if it was easy it’d be over and everything would be back to before
China: There is nothing I’d rather
China: And nothing I’m putting more of my effort into, so yeah, thanks, I blew my fucking audition
America: Mam’ll chase him away before you & she’s not trying to!
America: fucking do something
America: she’s not gonna show up to opening night, realise you’re not the star now that he’s the centre of her universe & pack his bags for him
China: Excuse me
China: What the fuck are you doing and how much is it not working
China: You aren’t even there half the time, don’t lecture me
America: It doesn’t work coming from me, she didn’t give a fuck if I was happy or not before
America: you’re her favourite
China: Lucky me
America: You wanna go back to how it used to be, you can’t have that many negative experiences of having her wrapped around your little finger
China: Memories explains it all
China: It doesn’t make her any more dependable
America: I’m depending on you
China: I know
America: I don’t want to rush things with Sean & make it all intense cos Gaz is making us homeless
America: it’s supposed to be fun
China: Spare me the teen angst, please
China: I do not give a fuck about him
America: I’m trying to spare myself it first
China: Just cool it a little
America: & stay at nans every night? 🥱
China: 🙄
America: Count the candles on my 🎂 guarantee you there’ll be, like, 9, that’s how old she thinks I am
China: You want me to say she’s dead off? 🤷‍♀️
America: 🖕
China: Anyway
China: Your boyf is so 😬
China: thank GOD he’s not in the play
America: He’s in charge of the lights, you should be nicer to him
China: 😂 yeah i’m not worried
China: I have like one decent sized scene anyway
America: Until you seduce Mr Mullan anywayyy
China: Even if he wasn’t gay
China: disgusting
America: 😂
China: That’s so twisted
China: Lucie would
China: She fancied that student teacher last year, such a cliche
America: He really did look about 9
America: what.a.waste.
China: He did not, he was rough as
China: Deffo mature student
America: which of your friends did you have staring at him close up enough to judge his pores?
China: Just said didn’t I
America: You & Lucie never were
China: Yeah we were
China: that’s why I hate her so much now
China: don’t you remember
America: 🙄
America: spare me your teen angst, if she was any kind of friend she’d have some loyalty to you & the shit lads you like
China: She fucked up way before boys
China: I guess you were a baby, idk
China: I got to be Mary and she pushed me off stage
China: Jealous cow, always has been
America: I remember her 😡😭 when they wouldn’t let her keep the doll
America: she went redder than daddy Gaz
America: but now I wanna swap that early memory for one of you hitting the ground 🌠💥
China: Fuck you 😂
China: I ended up getting in trouble then ‘cos I got up and smacked her
China: She’s always less of a pushover when a bloke’s about
China: Ironically
America: maybe I’ll buy her friendship with one of my old dolls, invite her for a sleepover, see if Mam learns anything
America: & it’ll make the play more fun for you again if she decides to get up to her old tricks & shove me off stage
China: It’d add some realism to this farce
America: You’ll get the lead in the end of the year play when Gary’s gone
China: Yeah I will
America: Just be a better loser than Lucie until then
China: Like I’m going to make that much of a scene
America: you’ve got no reason to be a jealous cow of Libi, like I said when you started bitching, so yeah, it’d be dumb
China: Tell her that
China: not me walking around like I’m God’s gift
America: She’s not the new you, if she was that committed to full-time acting she’d be moving to LA
China: She wishes
America: to be behind the camera
China: Sure
America: We’re back where we started
China: 👋 is fine
America: see you at nans
China: yeah
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ceo-of-daichi · 4 years
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okokok it is time,,,, lydaichi + allitoshi (alli and ushi) double date hc :o
ALLI BABIE!! Omg okay i hope i did this justice🥺 Ngl my discord helped my bounce a couple ideas and it was hella helpful!!!
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So i feel like me and Alli would be quite giggly together
Like i just kettle laugh at anything and Alli is VERY funny, irl i can imagine Alli being someone who constantly cracks jokes
Just someone who is fun to be around
Not only that but i definitely messaged Alli about the date idea and how it would be funny if we went rollerskating to watch the boys struggle
Alli is definitely down, i feel like she is a QUEEEENNN on rollerblades/skates
Also she knowwsss i’m about to play myself sooo hard rn
So we get there, Ushi low key looks scared af but he's trying not to show it because Alli looks super happy
I’m feeling confident because i used to roller-skate all the time as a kid and have low key been teasing Daichi on the downlow cause i think he will be bad
How wrong could i be sigh
We get there and put our skates on
Me and Alli are just giggling away, cracking jokes
Crackhead energy is being released
I’m thinking in my head that this is where the fun begins
Me and Alli skate off before the lads, Alli being the QUEEn she is just killing the game on the skates tbh
Me… not so hot
Ushi does that weird little shuffle on skates, you know where you don't really move anywhere but you’re scared you’re gonna fall over?
Alli is probably laughing at him when he fails and falls on his ass before going and helping him
He definitely cuts his knee and she whips out the hello kitty plasters/bandaids to put on his cut🥺
Such a big man with such a cute smol plaster/bandaid
I imagine she gives him little tips, such as telling him to not be so stiff etc
Hes most likely death squeezing her hand but she doesn’t mind
Meanwhile i am all over the place and Daichi… yeah turns out he is good at skating and i just played myself. DJ Khaled Voice Congratulations, you played yourself
Unable to stand up straight for more than a minute at a time, Lydia was really struggling on her skates. Cursing under her breath as she notices Alli out the corner of her eye, laughing hysterically at her.
Huffing lightly and sticking her tongue out she attempts to get up again. Alli could tell she was really trying not to embarrass herself in front of Daichi, sadly she was failing and Alli found that hilarious.
It was her idea and yet she could barely stand up for a minute, typical Alli thought as she continued to skate around the rink Ushijima in toe. He really tried, but bless him he SUCKED at roller-skating.
Before Lydia fell for probably the 7th time in 10 minutes, Daichi sweeped her up on his way past and stabilised her. Smiling wide at her as she attempted to hide her embarrassment.
‘You played yourself boo.’ Alli said as she skated past, patting her shoulder lightly. Trying to hold back her visible amusement at the events that were occurring.
After we had roller-skated for a couple hours and had our fill i can imagine us going for a chill walk through the park
The entire time Alli is making subtle jokes about my performance which i just take like a champ and at the end of the day we all just end up laughing
Except i feel like Ushi has no clue what's going on, he was focusing so much on not falling over that he didn’t notice anything
So then Alli has to explain everything that happened even though he was there
OR he suddenly pops a joke about it and we all just stare at him because its unexpected af
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pursuedbyworms · 4 years
Text
why the fisher king is my favorite episode of criminal minds (i’m referring to parts one and two this whole time, i just combine them in my head)
(also read as: joey feels like rambling)
as a whole overview, the fisher king is an intriguing mystery with codes, clues, and old-timey medieval references that the bau gets wrapped up in with the goals of rescuing a kidnapped girl
let me just say, i love the mystery. i think it’s the most well-crafted out of all the episodes. it has all these aspects: the individual packages/messages everyone got sent, an ominous introduction to their “quest”, and many, many puzzle pieces that are all connected. the way it’s all presented, as a quest for the knights at the round table, really hits the spot for me, since i’m really into that kinda thing and the minute a sword is seen my cryptid brain goes “mmm!” the whole concept of the clues leading to this book, the collector, that needs to be used in order to solve this coded message is genius and epic. before we knew anything, we were presented with this wild array of clues: a rare butterfly, an obscure baseball card, and a head in a box (that one isn’t related to the collector but it’s still one of the best ways to ruin a date night). also, skeleton keys. i just think they’re neat. 
anyway, enough of me rambling about the complexity of the mystery. now let’s talk about the other aspect of this episode that is done really well: the character development. this ep introduces reid’s mom, which adds a significant piece to his character and shows us this new side of him. we’re also presented with the character conflict when elle gets shot, which can be seen as a result of gideon pushing the press conference despite being specifically told not to. gideon obviously is shown blaming himself, causing him to stay at the hospital to be there for elle. elle getting shot also shows us how characters like morgan and jj react to this kind of thing, since up until this point in the show there hasn’t been anything like that. (nevermind, there actually has at least a few times. but nothing has been quite as dire as this, unless you’re counting derailed, which i kind of do now that i think of it.) i think these kind of episodes are really important, since they show how much the team really cares about one another. (the other example coming to mind rn is that one where prentiss and reid get trapped in that cult compound, which is another one of my favorites. god, there are so many examples of this kind of thing, which is just another reason why i love this show so much.) oh! this is an edit later on because i just remembered elle’s whole afterlife-airplane conversation with her dad, which provides us with some backstory! man, shows like criminal minds sure love tossing in those scenes with characters’ dead relatives/friends/whatever when they’re in a near-death situation. anyway i think this one was a pretty good one, even if it seemed random.
so.. we have an epic mystery unraveling AND character development? what else can there be? ah, yes, let’s discuss the ending. (and by ending, i mean the part where they go to the house till the end of the ep.) i think this is a very strong conclusion to a really great case, leaving the audience feeling satisfied. we have a good scene with reid confronting the unsub, and then an explosion, and then the whole scene of them figuring out where rebecca is and saving her right before the house burns and crumbles to the ground. it’s great! (and then there’s the finishing scenes after that paired with the real good song by five for fighting that i just adore.) i bring up the ending of this mainly because it’s, again, satisfying. unlike one of my other favorite cases, the replicator. listen, i love that case. i just think it was building to something grand, and the conclusion we got felt anticlimactic and rushed. (except for that one epic scene with rossi saying “zugzwang,” that is absolutely gold.) it left me feeling unsatisfied, sure, the case was solved and everything turned out okay (well except for strauss...), but i never got to see a real confrontation with the unsub, a confrontation including everyone. plus, the whole thing of blake-getting-taken-and-trapped was met with a real stupid solution with no real consequences and then they just straight up left the building?? it was that easy?? i also think they could’ve gone farther with the helicopter getting controlled, but i’ve been talking about the replicator for too long so i’ll just save it for another day. 
other misc notes: 
- anderson. listen, i love this minor character. you can tell that he was crying after finding out that elle was shot, he clearly cares about the team. (my point is just further proven as the show progresses, anderson is the real g.) he’s definitely good at his job, too, he just made a mistake (granted, hotch and gideon also made mistakes). but yeah, no one is to be blamed for elle getting shot except the fisher king and his freddy krueger lookin’ ass.
- the shot of reid diving while the room explodes behind him is kind of ridiculous but i still think it’s great. also, it is hilarious that he is clearly covered in a bit of soot back at the bau while morgan and hotch just Aren’t.
- we get two examples of characters with awful handwriting: gideon and his illegible markings and reid’s scrawly-ass letters. it’s peak representation for us lads with poor handwriting.
- did i already mention the sword? because it’s freakin’ rad. 
- elle’s anger/sarcasm while being interrogated is so hilarious and very in character for her.
- there’s some good n’ funny dialogue in this episode, including the garcia quote “your mom read you valentine’s day poems? hello, therapy.” 
in conclusion, the fisher king is by far the best, most well-crafted episode/case of criminal minds. i simply adore it. also, season one is the best season of criminal  minds. 
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lestered · 5 years
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Omg that “Phil being a Dannie” answer was extremely good... if you’re still doing this, can you talk about dan being a phillie?????
sure, i can try!
to start off with the most obvious, dan was a phillie before they even met, he was a huge fan of phil’s youtube vids and phil in general, tweeted at him all the time and commented on almost all his vids, and those comments all have big phillie energy
dan posted a video around the time phil moved out of his parents’ house, which was just a casual life update thing and one of his points was “i don’t know if you know this, you SHOULD, but phil’s moving out” aka if you don’t stan phil as much as i do then wyd, and that’s been the general energy for most of his yt career
“i’m phil trash number one, and that’s my origin story”
“joke’s on you, i’ve been a phil stan account for the last ten years”
dan’s always been a huge proponent of phil’s creative ideas, like phil invented the 7 second challenge and then dan worked with him so they could make it into an app, phil invented the concept for truth bombs and then dan worked with him to make a scoring system and turn it into a board game, he always sees the bigger potential that phil doesn’t 
similarly, when people have run off with phil’s video ideas in the past like the tumblr tag and the 7 second challenge, dan’s always quick to point out that they were phil’s ideas that he wanted to have as a thing on his channel, even more emphatically so when people don’t credit phil, since “phil’s just a lovely person” and generally isn’t confrontational, also when the lad bible straight up copied one of phil’s tweets dan famously replied to them “are you serious” which was hilarious, also “phil is truly underrated”
in the impossible quiz and quick draw videos, and a bit in layton’s mystery journey, you always see dan touting phil’s ~lateral thinking~ even when he’s screaming at him for drawing an umbrella wrong
when they played the mark of oxin, dan wouldn’t shut up about how creative it was and omg phil you were 14 when you made this?!? “phil’s coming for you toby fox,” not to mention the need to point out how their 14 year old dan and 14 year old phil would’ve been friends
when phil was getting ignored at a panel dan didn’t hesitate to grab someone else’s mic and ask if phil could express an opinion, when some other youtubers were joking around slightly at phil’s expense dan (drunkenly, but still) told them that he’d rather disown all of them as friends than continue, because phil isn’t very good at standing up for himself but dan’s not here for people treating phil the wrong way
dan was just as excited and supportive of phil’s coming out video as phil was of dan’s, it was lovely 
“we stan a model” and “king of brilliant shining foreheads”
spending the entire viewers pick my outfits video basically telling phil how good he looked 
that one liveshow close to christmas (i think it may have been the last one before hiatus?) where he talks about how easy it is for phil to look cool in stuff because of his black hair pale skin and blue eyes (he’s mentioned this more than once actually)
dan likes to finish games with phil even when they’re not co-ops, even though dan’s a more intense gamer, he’d still rather play with phil (aw)
dan also loves all his traditions with phil and loves how well they know each other, he’s less loud about it but it’s there
“phil is my bestest buddy and he knows me well” 
“this is why phil is my best friend, he knows me best”
made a point of stressing how lucky he was to have found phil as they’re so compatible/”real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates”
and definitely a lot more that i’m not thinking of rn forgive me i haven’t been awake long enough to have a real good think
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Sorry to ask this of you, but I had some bad tics in front of my coworkers today and I could use some more TS John in my life. I hadn’t told anyone about my ticcing and I sort of got one of those “wtf is that” comments and honestly it just set me back. Finding your blog was a life saver, this was something I never thought I needed but reading Seaside made me *feel things* and now I just can’t stop checking for updates.
I won’t be updating Seaside but I can whip you something up rn :)
The manager coughed awkwardly before continuing his talk with Queen about insurance for venues.
John was red in the face, his hands fists, painfully stiff. He couldn’t believe he just meowed in a meeting. Of all the things he could have done that could’ve been played off, he had to meow.
He looked over at Brian who sat next to him, Brian looking back, his eyes big and apologetic. He quickly looked away, not wanting any pity. He just wanted to be able to control himself until the meeting was over.
His anxiety had other plans though. With his palms getting sweaty and heart racing, his body started to itch, craving for another tic to be let out. This time it was his legs, trembling to be able to slam his feet onto the ground. 
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, antsy as the pain of suppressing a tic built up in his system. How long was this meeting going to take? Wasn’t this something they talked with Miami about? Why did they have to know about the intricacies of band insurance?
John continued to shift around, pulling at the color of his shirt. He was hot, his legs on fire from having to behave. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.
He felt a soft touch to his hand. It was Brian. Brian looked at the door to the managers office, mouthing, Go. It’s okay.
John looked to the other’s, who all gave him quick nods before returning their attention to the manager. 
He stood up, his body tense. As politely as he could, he stuttered out, “Excuse- meow- m-me. I’m sorry. S-Sorry.”
He didn’t dare look back as he left, not wanting to see the man’s confused face. With his cheeks burning, eyes threatening tears, he ran to the bathroom, whistling, squeaking and nodding the whole way.
Once locked in a stall, he sat down, not even caring that he was sitting on a toilet. He covered his face with his hands and groaned.
It never got easier. The embarrassment of Tourette’s. No matter how brave and confident you felt, the moment you ticced in front of someone, a stranger or friend, the moment you let out a most horrendous, horrifying tic, you felt like shit.
John had a moaning phase, which was probably the peak of embarrassment. Then there was a cursing phase and by god did his brain send out as many slurs as it could. And now? He sounded like a farm.
Nobody besides other Tourette’s sufferers truly understood the feeling of wanting to dissapear. No matter how hard one tried, you would always be the center of attention. And it was never good attention.
John shrunk, wanting to vanish in that moment. The manager must’ve thought he was loony. The boys must’ve felt so much second hand embarrassment. He barked instead of crying, his feet stomping onto the tiles, echoing all around the bathroom. 
Just as he started to clap, the bathroom door opened. It hurt, but he managed to cut the tic short. Not that he had to. It was Roger.
“John, is that you?” Roger called out.
“Who else would be clapping in a bloody bathroom?” John said a little pointedly.
He could hear Roger chuckle. “The men’s room is a wild place. You never know. Now, would you come on out here, Deacy?”
“I’d rather die,” John said, akin to a melodramatic teenager, but he was allowed to be right now. “Why are you even here? Is the meeting still going on?” 
Roger stood in front of the stall John was in, his sparkly shoes glittering under the harsh florescent. 
“Yeah, but I played hooky. Brian and Fred handle all that fancy stuff anyways. I was just there to look pretty,” Roger said, an obvious smile in his voice.
“And I was just there to be the resident cat, apparently,” John said miserably. He coughed although he didn’t need to.
Roger sighed. “Sorry about that, Deaks...I mean..I don’t know what it’s like..for you and all that. But, you do know Queen loves you. Well, Brian loves anything with a pulse so that’s maybe not the biggest comfort, but me and Fred love you.”
John snorted, sitting up straight. Alright, Roger won. He opened the stall door, walking out of the bathroom and into the lobby with Roger, marching every step.
The two flopped onto a sofa, John fiddling with his jeans, blinking fast.
“It’s just...so embarrassing. Alienating. I hate it,” John mumbled. Roger looked at him, his face soft. He gave John’s knee a pat and a squeeze.
“I can only imagine,” he said, bumping into John’s side. John bumped back followed with a bark. The receptionist shot them a glare making John shrink. Roger stared daggers at them, doing a gigantic eye roll before wrapping his arm around John’s shoulder.
“Other people don’t get it. But I do. The rest of us do. It might not help the pain strangers cause but just know there are people out there who see you as a person and not a spectacle, John. You’re my best mate,” Roger said as John leaned into the side hug. 
It was true. The outside world was cruel and not understanding. And while that killed him, at least John had people who loved and protected him. Leave it to Brian and Freddie and Roger to always have his back. They always look out for him, find excuses to let him run off, curse people off for gawking. Living with Tourette’s was a pain in the ass, but at least he had them and a whole host of other people to watch out for him.
John shivered excessively, his nose wrinkled. “Thanks, Rog,” he said, feeling a tiny bit content with everything. He rested his head on Roger’s shoulder, not caring if it came off as weird. He already was weird. The people around them could deal with it. John was having a best friend moment.
“Once the other lads comes back, I have some fancy italian gelato at my house. You wanna come over and have a bit of an ice cream social?” Roger asked. John eyes lit up, nodding. There wasn’t anything some gelato and your best mate couldn’t fix.
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auroral-melody · 5 years
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hi! do you have any recommendations of things to watch or read? ive read and watched good omens and lucifer and ive read sandman and watched lot and i liked them all and bc you also like them i thought you might have more stuff to recommend! ty in advance fkdk and i hope you have an amazing day/night!!!
HECK YEAH. idk what else you’ve seen so i’ll just rec everything
tv shows:
- doctor who is and always will be my comfort show tbh. it’s so optimistic and kind and i love it so dearly, it means so much to me
- constantine nbc (theres only one season and it was cancelled but it’s GREAT)
- legends of tomorrow (extremely goofy. doesn’t take itself seriously except when it does. time travel, with magic, and john constantine comes up in s3 and is a main char in s4. INCREDIBLY gay. like oh my god i’ve never seen a sci fi fantasy show this gay it makes me so happy)
- agents of shield (phil coulson is babey and fitzsimmons is the purest thing on the planet)
- stranger things (kids on bikes!!! scary)
- dark matter (sci fi and UNDERRATED!)
- i still love firefly tbh
my watchlist right now is
- black lightning (just started, it’s Gud)- i watched a season of el internado (spanish show that’s very cheesy but it’s a dramatic high school teen show. it’s not exactly Good but it’s fun!)- oh i also need to watch s2 of the OA fhjkdhf (s1 is very good!!! lots of scary topics but it’s fascinating)- i’ve also just started the flash- i’m going to watch sabrina soon bc there’s apparently a lucifer in it
i also have in fact watched supernatural and honestly i love cas and gabriel and sam and dean and crowley. it has exactly the problems people say it does, but also it is entertaining and i swear they have got to use spray bottles for the blood sometimes which is HILARIOUS.
more of a reality show:
- buzzfeed unsolved (i Really like the supernatural seasons! it’s a little spooky but also the fact that shane, in a dark room alone, doesn’t think it’s spooky at All makes it hilarious. i’m a shaniac but i’m scared fhjdkfhkdj)
- adam ruins everything
animated tv shows:
- she ra (incredibly gay energies)
- the dragon prince (i just finished and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!)
- avatar the last airbender (it’s excellent. pls. everything about it is good)
- aggretsuko (fun !! also very relatable)
- the devil is a part-timer (one of the only animes i’ve seen. kinda Straight TM with the whole boobage but it’s also funny and WINGS)
- devilman crybaby (i havent seen the old one yet. very nsfw. but GOD i got so so close to crying)
- carmen sandiego (spy romp!!! with educational geography tidbits!!! i love the art too it’s really good)
- disenchantment (matt groening humour if you’re good w that, there’s a demon named luci)
- futurama (matt groening humour but i’m STILL emotional over it. i still love the interdimensional polyamorous pansexual nonbinary space being yivo who uses neopronouns. babey)
movies:
- the lego movie (especially the second one)
- the lego movie batman (aka Gay)
- road to el dorado (PEAK good omens energies it’s still my favorite ok)
- thor ragnarok
- into the spiderverse
- emperor’s new groove
- men in black (all of them) are just so good okay 
- hellboy (it’s guillermo del toro. it’s fun)
books:
- the stainless steel rat (about a sci fi criminal who is a goofy sarcastic lad. 100% RECOMMEND HIGHLY PLEAS E READ)
- the martian (it’s SO MUCH FUNNIER than the movie is tbh..it’s ICONIC. sciency humor)
- mort (my favorite discworld book so far. death gets a job as a cook)
- the screwtape letters (about a demon and his annoyed uncle/mentor)
- much ado about nothing (listen it’s REally fun. or watch the tennant version)
rn i’m reading snow crash and it’s super fun, the main character is named Hiro Protagonist hfkjdshjfd. 
comics:
- loki: agent of asgard (illustrated by the guy who did lucifer 2016! fun!!! loki being a sweetheart)
- the prince and the dressmaker (ADORABLE!!! gnc prince(ss))
- the dreaming (”why do you like the corinthian” *gestures at this comic while aggressively retconning part of it*)
- any of the sandman extras, especially overture and the death stories
- hellblazer (i only got up to issue 75 but it’s pretty good!! constantine..my boy)
- the wicked and the divine (i’m only on #19 but. aaaa? it’s surprisingly bloody, but also, it had a fem!lucifer in it that absolutely killed me with gay)
- xkcd (webcomic. witty and sciency)
i’m also going to read Murder Mysteries the graphic novel by neil gaiman as soon as it comes!!! i’m excited
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carrotnosewitch · 6 years
Text
The Bad Rep of Demons.
Back in the days of ancient Greece and Rome, there were creatures who helped inspire some humans, or just straight up taught them just about anything you can think of. These were called Daemons, or Daimons. Daemons were the personifications of abstract concepts like fear, hope, and wisdom. They were also teachers of humans about abstractions like the wisdom of those before them, and things like astronomy, medicine, and architecture.
Daemons were seen to have horns. Horns, in the myths of many cultures were bestowed upon those who are divinely wise or learned. They were also a sign of rulership over those abstractions. Most of these horns would meet in the center of the back of the head, and would shine and glow. Not unlike angels’ classical depiction of a halo.  In the religions that spawned Judaism, and also Muslim and Christianity, horns meaning wisdom and presiding over concepts was also a belief. Not only did they believe that horns were seen on rulers of abstract constructs, they also were depicted as holiness. There were several depictions of Moses with horns after he brought the ten commandments down. They also said that their god was depicted with horns. So how did these teachers and depictions come to be seen as a thing of malevolence?  The Romans were assholes is why. Let me explain. Look at this map of where Rome ruled in AD 96:
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That’s a lot of ground to cover with just one religion that must be followed. How they did that was they learned about the present societies’ beliefs, and then were like “oh, haven’t you heard?” and acted like the society’s culture was valid within Rome’s beliefs. (How well did that work, one wonders, after the Inquisition happened. seems fishy.)
They absorbed a bunch of religions under their belief structure. These great and ancient religions which had been believed for all those societies over the course of time immemorial, had their benevolent and malevolent gods and figures. The Romans were like “hey look, those are the angels, and the demons, and they all work under God.”
This also included the ancient gods of Rome and Greece. “These lads are evil,” they said of their gods of the underworld or those who preside over death and destruction. “and these gents are good. They’re angels. Y’know, those things that the Assyrians believed in.” of the benevolent gods.
Romans weren’t very happy about people learning things which they weren’t suppose to meddle with, as anyone who wasn’t in government or church weren’t learned enough to know that shit. Those daemons, the ones who helped the ancient world in their understanding of how things worked became malevolent entities that were the spawn of evil, as the things they spoke were not from a singular, holy source. (That and ignorance is apparently bliss.) But the good ones who gave people hope and faith, they were turned into angels and saints. And even those guys were phased out a lot of the time. You’ll see that the majority of scripture only touch on the archangel and archdemons. They don’t really speak of lesser creatures, unless they need to pin a name on the thing possessing people’s bodies (which i’m not even going to get into rn, i have words abt possession.) The weird thing though, is that even the Arches were easy to trace down and back to the very ancient religions that came about long before Judaism. You can see the similarity of the angels and demons we know about and their Sumerian, Ancient Greek, Ancient Egyptian and other counterparts. The first of which is the name Yaweh, which is the name of a minor deity in Sumerian, and several other religions had other beings with a similar name. But he wasn’t the only god - or even the highest level of gods - but his name has become synonymous with The One God. I’m rolling my eyes right now.  Fun facts:
The fallen archangel Azazel has been demonized in some religions, but in some others, they consider him the angel of death, not unlike Thanatos and Anubus. He’s the one who scribes down each name of every person at the beginning of their life, and crosses their name out at their death. He’s also made of eyes and wings. Weird. Creepy.
The archdemon Asmodeus. I pick on him because he’s the one i’m most interested in. He also is the presiding spirit over mathematics, geometry,  and astronomy, and the patron of those who do handiwork and crafts. This guy has more name changes than Hollywood. He’s been recorded as being a thing since the wayback days of ancient Zoroastrianism, which is possibly the oldest still living religion. This dude’s name can be spelled a fuckton of different ways. But his reason for existing hasn’t changed. He is the being of wrath. You can find his name on a lot of sigils in alchemy, goetic and kabbalah faiths. 
Stolas. He’s an owl on stork leggies. He actually was one of the best known daemons. rather than having horns, he just straight up wears a crown, because a crown on an owl is kinda badass, ngl. He presides over astrology, herbs and poisons, and stones. Basically, Stolas is a fucking boss.
Astaroth is an archdemon, and a pretty big name in demonology. like, big as beelzebub and lucifer. The funny thing about this guy is that, despite being an archdemon is that before this whole Demon thing, he was known as Ishtar and Inanna, the beautiful Sumerian goddess who presided over sexuality, beauty and all the cool things Aphrodite is known for. In fact, they’re the same goddess by way of association. Oh, she’s also Astarte. Enjoy that complex “sex is evil” rabbit hole that Catholicism has opened up with Astaroth.
Speaking of rabbit holes, Baal, one of the Princes of Hell, started out way back as well, as far back as Canaanite beliefs, as one of the biggest gods in the area. Like. So big that apparently he’s a demon now because there’s no other way to make a single god have any competition. You could read all about him, and all these other ladies and gents.  So like, Demons are basically villainized otherworldly teachers who just got a backhand when Christianity came about. If it teaches you anything but piety, it’s probably a demon. Jussayin. 
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The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 21-22
I got nothing lads. This book is draining me of my soul.
Celaena lay on her cloak, trying to imagine that the sand was her down mattress in Rifthold, and that she wasn’t completely exposed to the elements in the middle of the desert. The last thing she needed was to wake up with a scorpion in her hair.
Stop teasing me with ways to kill Celery’s ass off, SJM.
“I’ve got sand in every crevice of my body,” Celaena muttered, squirming as she felt it grind against her skin. (...) “Are you sure you’re Celaena Sardothien? Because I don’t think she’d actually be this fussy. I bet she’s used to roughing it.”
Holy shit, this is... self awareness? Ansel calling Celery out on being a useless dumbass? I am so baffled. Is SJM trolling us at this point, or does she just. genuinely not understand how terrible her characters are?
Ansel blathers on about the witches and their queens or whatnot, which just makes me yearn for the Manon POVs in E0S (the first half, anyways). I truly took them for granted :’(
Ansel let out a low hiss. “Some witches, like the Crochans, were gifted with ethereal beauty. But the Ironteeth Clans have iron teeth, sharp as a fish’s.
There’s that stupid fish teeth comparison again.  I have no problem with repeated phrases in a book series (as long as you know, they’re not repeated every other five pages in each book) but this is just... dumb.
Ansel says that one of her childhood friends was eaten by a witch when she was little, which is so boring and non-important I’m skipping it, then they go to sleep. The next morning they go to their destination which is in the market place.
Many people stopped to stare at her red hair and matching eyes, but Ansel took it in stride. Even without her armor, she was stunning. Celaena tried not to think about how few people bothered to notice her.
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I don’t give a flying fuck about Celery’s feefees over not getting any special attention I do not!!!!! give a single fuck!!!!!!! I am going to rip this stupid book in half once I’m done reading it.
Ansel won’t let Celery actually go with her to meet with some dude, so she leaves her stranded in the middle of a busy marketplace. Lmao.
In Rifthold, she had a line of credit at all her favorite stores,
you fucking wot m8
There were a few hired guards standing around the covered wagon, and a tall, lean man stood behind the table displayed in front of it. But it wasn’t the guards or the man or his wagon that grabbed her attention. No, it was what was on his table that knocked the breath from her and made her curse her too-light money purse. Spidersilk.
Oh hey, that thing that was used later with the witches.... cool. I’ll take it over an asspull plot twist any day, tbh.
There were legends about the horse-sized stygian spiders that lurked in the woods of the Ruhnn Mountains of the north, spinning their thread for hefty costs. Some said they offered it in exchange for human flesh; others claimed the spiders dealt in years and dreams, and could take either as payment.
Damn, those giant spiders sound waaaay cooler than the shitty Fae in later novels. Why can’t this book be about them? Honestly, I ask myself that far too often when reading these novels.
Celery chats with the guy who has the Spidersilk and it’s just nothing worth noting, so I’m skimming through the details.
She raised her chin. “I turned seventeen two weeks ago.” And what a miserable birthday that had been. Trudging across the desert with no one to celebrate with except her recalcitrant guide, who just patted her shoulder when she announced it was her birthday. Horrible.
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SJM expects me to feel sorry for this bitch. That’s cute.
The dude reveals that some of the silent assassins secretly work for Lord Berick.
But Celaena tucked the information away for later. Were some of the Silent Assassins actually working for Berick? Perhaps that was why Ansel had insisted on keeping the meeting so secret—maybe the Master didn’t want the names of the suspected traitors getting out.
So yeah, it’s pretty obvious Ansel is more than likely one of those traitors, but of course Celery doesn’t even consider this because of...reasons. Considering the possibility of such a thing would require for her brain to work, and as we all know, Celery doesn’t own a functioning brain.
Celery tells the guy to ask Arobynn for her if he ever needs her services, so he gives her some Spidersilk.
“A reminder of what?” She shut the lid and tucked the small box into the inner pocket of her white tunic. The merchant smiled sadly. “That everything has a price.” A phantom pain flashed through her face. “I know,” she said, and left.
Oh, it’s just like I’m a young teenager reading this for the first time puzzling over what this meant, not knowing the shitstorm that awaited me in later novels. Truly, they were easier times!
Ansel shows up later to drag Celery over to a pen where there are some horses. Apparently the horses belong to Lord Berick, so Ansel and Celery steal them and leave, ending the chapter. Very little is happening now, but I’ll take it over the pile of dogshit  that were the previous two chapters.
Next chapter, Ansel and Celery ride into the desert being chased by guards.
And just like that, the dunes parted to reveal the turquoise expanse of the Gulf of Oro. The cool sea breeze kissed her face, and Celaena leaned into it, almost moaning with pleasure.
Maybe a nitpick, but am I the only one completely weirded out when “moaning with pleasure” is used for shit like this? Like, when people describe a character moaning when they eat good food it’s so baffling to me because it’s giving me a mental image of sexual pleasure, but they’re just eating food?? Is Celery having an orgasm rn because there’s a cool breeze?
Ansel cut away, surging toward the dunes and the giant wall of rock that arose nearby. The Desert Cleaver, if Celaena knew her geography correctly—which she did, as she’d studied maps of the Deserted Land for weeks now.
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I find it very hard to believe entitled Celery who thinks everything should just be handed to her on a silver platter would devote so much time to studying and working.
A narrow opening in the wall of red rock appeared, twisting away from sight. Ansel headed straight toward it. How dare she make such a reckless, stupid decision without consulting Celaena first?
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You mean like Alien does later in E0S? Holy shit, this just emphasizes how little SJM plans things out for her books. Her characters actually lose development and intelligence as the series progresses. That is actually fucking hilarious and I’ve never seen the likes of it in any other shitty YA series. Holy smokes.
Though the guards still remained a good distance away, they were close enough for Celaena to see the weapons, including longbows, strapped to them.
But I bet they’re not going to use them, like the guards from E0S that didn’t use their crossbows, because of plot reasons.
They outrun the guards and Celery punches Ansel then they stop for the night. Lmao at how much shit was crammed in the previous chapters but these ones are just... nothing.
Apparently Ansel lied to the Mute Master about her backstory. Her old home was ravaged by some Lord Loch dude and all of her family was killed so she ended up training with the silent assassins for revenge or something. Ansel is just a not quite as shitty Celery clone, so I have little reason to care about her.
Celaena hadn’t realized she was crying until she tried to take a deep breath. Saying that she was sorry didn’t feel adequate. She knew what this sort of loss was like, and words didn’t do anything at all.
Oh my god fuck off Celery, Ansel isn’t telling you her backstory for you to feel sorry about your own poor feefees, literally no one gives a shit about you. Please, take a hike off the nearest cliff and spare me the agony of having to think about you anymore.
Celery and Ansel talk about how all men are evil and shit and then the chapter ends. Fuck this stupid fucking bullshit. This might actually be worse than E0S. That’s right, I said it, don’t @ me.
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