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cjrae · 8 months ago

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Tragedy of the Jade Nightingale. Or: My thoughts on Vol. 11 of the Apothecary Diaries.

Given that this volume just came out in English a few days ago, spoilers under the cut!

I usually think of the Apothecary Diaries volumes as pairs - usually two volumes make up an arc. If so, Volume 11 will be the first half of the arc with 12, but it also functions beautifully as a tragedy in it's own right.

** I will be only discussing information appearing officially through Vol. 11. Yes, I have read the fan translations of the web novels, but given that details can change, until it appears in official English translation, I won't yet be including it here.

The Hero

Gyoku-ou. Talk about someone who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. We knew this guy was a threat all the way back in Vol. 8, with how Gyokuyou reacted to her brother's letter and his veiled insult of sending a younger version of herself to catch either her husband's attention or the Imperial Brother's. Now we get to see him in action and he's scary - right up until he's not.

This man is charismatic as anything - he understands what makes people tick on both an individual level as well as a social level. His ability to wield a mob effectively makes him extremely dangerous, but I'm oddly put in mind of Lakan's initial impression of Fengxian. "This woman is strong, but she only knows how to fight in her own, small world."

The world Gyoku-ou inhabits is a very small, petty one. You can see it in his conspiracy theory about Jinshi's birth.

Jinshi is one of two people Gyoku-ou fails to read. When he brings Lakan and Jinshi to his puppet council to gauge support for attacking Shaoh, he thinks he's got a young malcontent in his hands, someone who wants power and is prone to the flashes of temper and insult that often drive young men. Someone who is easily manipulated. Instead, Jinshi mops the floor with him in that meeting, cutting Lakan's support out from under Gyoku-ou and making it clear that his priority is peace above war.

This doesn't take away from Gyoku-ou's political genius - this meeting teaches him that Jinshi has to be maneuvered around, rather than maneuvered directly. If the Imperial Brother doesn't want to play his part, then too bad. Gyoku-ou will see to it that Jinshi is hedged in all directions except where he wants him to go - which is to war. And even then, he's got a fight on his hands as Jinshi fully takes advantage of Empress Gyokuyou's information to undercut Gyoku-ou's support within his own family.

It's a mark of Jinshi's political skill that Gyoku-ou's move in that family council is to flirt with treason. If he can't maneuver the Imperial family through Jinshi, then he shifts tactics to turn Jinshi (and the rest of the Imperial Family) into the villain of his piece - a prince born and raised into utter depravity.

Let's just sit with what Gyoku-ou suggests to the rest of his siblings (minus the Empress) in that meeting. He implies that the Emperor impregnated his own mother in order to produce an heir. A son that he loves so dearly (and unnaturally) that he would willingly look the other way while Jinshi murders his other children in order to make sure that his brother-son-lover succeeds the throne.

This is a brilliant examination of how the bare facts of the situation can be construed by people with very different motivations to fit whatever worldview is most convenient for them. I'm a fan of the palace politics in this series because they feel very real.

Gyoku-ou doesn't lie once. But boy does he create a narrative that suits his purposes and dares anyone (namely Rikuson) to tell Jinshi. He is escalating the situation and he's doing it fast, while also challenging the legitimacy of the Imperial Family. A fact which, if it does get back to Jinshi (or the Emperor), could get the entire new You Clan wiped out just as fast as the Yi Clan was. This scene functions as a microcosm of Gyoku-ou's two fundamental character flaws; his short term thinking and his utter self-absorption.

Becoming The Wind

Since Rikuson was introduced in Vol. 5, he's been a mirror for Jinshi. He's a "pretty boy," calm under pressure, fundamentally kind and decent to other people while also being extremely competent at his job. Unlike Jinshi, he's also a bit older and more mature. He also clearly admires Maomao and sees the qualities that make her exceptional, despite her various masks.

As it turns out, Rikuson mirrors Jinshi in another important sense too - he also has a secret identity. The Yi Clan were the de facto royalty of the Western Capital and Rikuson is one of the direct survivors of the clan. He was never in the line of succession given the Yi Clan's matrilineal structure. But they were quick enough to save some of the children, namely Rikuson and Empress Gyokuyou's three ladies in waiting, Haku'u, Koku'u and Seki'u.

Rikuson, who was Gyoku-ou's excuse to trick His Former Majesty into giving him the authorization to destroy the Yi Clan. Rather than truly being an bastard Imperial prince, he's a young pawn in Gyoku-ou's hands to whip up an armed mob to hunt Rikuson down - and his mother and sister give their lives to ensure his survival - not for vengeance, but so that the Yi Clan's mission of protecting the west will live on even if the named clan itself dies. So, like Jinshi, he is dedicated to the welfare of the people above all else.

The trouble with relying on an unruly mob is that it's sloppy. Gyoku-ou left multiple survivors and they have absolutely no love for him. He's left weapons at his back.

Rikuson is the other person Gyoku-ou utterly fails to read. He spends well over a year back in his homeland, working for Gyoku-ou as an aide ostensibly from the central region, patiently waiting for an opening - even as Gyoku-ou, who knows that Rikuson has to be assigned to the west with some kind of ulterior motive, is so blind that he thinks he must be a secret member of the La Clan, rather than the Yi boy he tried to kill seventeen years earlier.

Rikuson represents the culmination Gyoku-ou's short term thinking in that he doesn't bother to think about the threat of any surviving Yi clan might pose to him.

He will not insult his mother's memory, or his sister's. But if his mission of protecting the west coincides with vengeance for his family? Sure enough, Gyoku-ou's insistence on going to war (and dragging the Imperial family's legitimacy into his motivations) gives Rikuson his opening; especially because he isn't a vigilante.

He is acting under orders.

The New You

Rikuson's point about Gyoku-ou's life being a tragedy hits home when you consider Gyokuyou's thoughts of how she knows her father loves her - but would also abandon her in a heartbeat if she is no longer valuable to him. Unlike her older brother, she has a very clear-eyed view of how their father operates and focuses on making sure that her value never drops in his eyes.

Gyoku-ou's value to Gyoku'en plummeted the day he destroyed the Yi Clan - Gyoku'en's family. He was given a second chance to show that he could still perform the single function of the men of the Yi Clan - to protect the west. When he endangered it instead, Gyoku'en sent the weapon he'd spent seventeen years preparing (Rikuson) with an execution order.

By first destroying the Yi Clan and then following it up with a proposed invasion of Shaoh, Gyoku-ou proved to Gyoku'en that he was no son of his. Given how desperate he was to be his father's son, this whole book is a tragedy in the classic sense. The Jade Nightingale was so desperate to reinvent himself as a Jade Eagle that he destroyed himself in pursuit of the one thing he never lost - his father's love. But, to be his father's heir, what he needed was Gyoku'en's trust and respect, not his love.

And he killed that seventeen years ago along with the Yi Clan.

Ironically, the foreign born girl that he despised and attempted to undermine at every opportunity, emerges as their father's true heir and mother of the nation, with the rest of the surviving Yi clan as part of her loyal retinue.

In her triumph, the Yi Clan is reborn as the You Clan as Gyoku'en, a Yi man, is given a clan name on the strength of Gyokuyou's role as Empress. So much of their history has been lost, down to the matrilineal succession and family records, but their mission lives on through the Yi men who will continue to protect the west, no matter the personal cost to themselves. There is no room for self-absorption here, therefore Gyoku-ou has no place in their new clan.

Also, a parallel to pay attention to is how the destruction of the Yi Clan and the Shi Clan are mirroring each other with the children being saved. The Yi Clan is reborn with a new name, which leads one to wonder what the consequences of saving those Shi children will be long term.

A Dagger In The Dark

Gyoku-ou sucks up a lot of air in Vol. 11 because he is driving the action - Jinshi, Maomao and their party are all stuck reacting to him, except for one character; Chue.

We see Chue attach herself to Maomao starting with the ship and it's not difficult to guess that just as Lihaku is serving as a discreet bodyguard for Maomao on Jinshi's orders, Chue is also there as protection. Chue doesn't try to conceal that she is clearly trained in espionage either.

Rikuson's proposal to Maomao is not a serious bid for her hand, but nor is it a joke - it's a message to Chue that Jinshi needs to tighten security around Maomao. As he puts it, he knows the "hyper protective" elements around her will close ranks. Because he's foreseen a strategy that may not have yet occurred to Gyoku-ou (who tends not to pay attention to the bit parts of the play), but if it does would almost certainly push the country into war.

Maomao is the lever that could move both Lakan and Jinshi.

All he has to do is kill her and make it look like a foreign attack. Lakan's instinctive ability to read a situation and Jinshi's formidable investigative skills would likely be dulled in the face of their rage and grief. Especially since they are technically Gyoku-ou's guests and don't have freedom of movement to push the issue.

Rikuson seizes his opportunity before Gyoku-ou can continue to escalate, but he realizes quickly that Chue arranged the stage and was there as both spy and backup assassin. (I think it's safe to say that Gyoku-ou's conspiracy theory AND that Yi family ledger will be reported, given that we know there were ladies-in-waiting at the meeting and that's how Chue was disguised - and she didn't actually promise to dispose of it).

Gyoku-ou doesn't bother to think that while the Emperor may be far away and the Imperial Brother is a manageable threat, that the people surrounding Jinshi may not be bound by his strictures. Hence, Chue was on standby. No matter what, Gyoku-ou was never going to make it to that ritual. He was never smart enough to realize that his crossing the line would be never be forgiven.

While Jinshi would order an execution if necessary (and has in the past), he would never order an assassination. Therefore, it's evident that Chue reports to someone else. Who that someone is, we don't know, but there's only one person further up the Imperial tree than Jinshi, so it would be reasonable for Rikuson to assume that the Emperor has placed additional protection around not just Jinshi, but Maomao.

Exclusive: Baby Swap!

Jinshi's birth is not a secret to the audience and while Maomao doesn't have confirmation, she's pretty certain of her suspicion. This volume made it patently obvious that there are others out there who are perfectly capable of putting the pieces together, even if the details are twisted.

Let's return to Gyoku-ou's conspiracy theory.

He's put together all the correct pieces. The Emperor's attitude toward Jinshi makes no sense in a traditional palace setting - a much younger, handsome, charismatic and competent brother? That's a threat to the Emperor and his direct line. But Jinshi is never treated that way - instead he's indulged on many fronts.

He's allowed to duck most of his official duties as Ka Zuigetsu (except for a few he can't, where he appears masked).

He's allowed to pretend to be a eunuch for six years and run the Rear Palace.

When he finally reveals himself to the court to put down the Shi Rebellion, he's described as "hale" and "just as proficient in the military arts as the administrative." (More proof that Jinshi is NOT the best judge of his own abilities). He emerges fully formed into court politics - a perfectly trained Crown Prince - only to have a newborn given the title instead.

Gyoku-ou deliberately put the worst possible spin on these facts. I suspect the rest of the You siblings are going to keep their mouths shut about Gyoku-ou's ugly theory, but if he could think of it, if Maomao could think of it with just seeing Jinshi standing next to Lady Ah-Duo, then so can others.

Maomao can be mad about Jinshi branding himself all she wants, but it's currently looking like an absolutely BRILLIANT move on Jinshi's part. Whatever doubts Gyoku-ou managed to plant about Jinshi and the Emperor's motives with the rest of the You clan siblings, Empress Gyokuyou is not likely to entertain it.

Also, it got the Emperor to essentially "banish" Jinshi to the edges of the Empire shortly after his new Crown Prince was born, which makes it look to other members of the court like the Emperor is taking steps to rein in his younger brother and balances the factions that have to be forming back in the capital.

This is not a secret that can be kept forever. No matter how careful Ah-Duo and Anshi were, the information is starting to leak out around the edges, as we see that the Empress' ladies in waiting that were dismissed clearly had eyes and ears - and in at least one case, a loose tongue.

The next arc is being seeded and Jinshi is inching closer and closer to that throne. He ran the Rear Palace for years (essentially managing the nation in microcosm) and as of the end of Vol. 11, he's now stepping up to govern a province and gain actual ruling experience while also having suppressed a war.

I've said before that Jinshi ascending the throne is the bad ending - if there is a single person who is more trapped by the palace than the prince, it's the emperor. We'll see what happens!

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carriagelamp · 6 days ago

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My favourite books from 2024! Another really strong year of books for me -- every year will have some stinkers and a bunch of middling reads, but the highs of this year were really high so I'm pretty content

As always, I give more detailed descriptions and opinions of the books in my month reviews, but here's a quick breakdown for anyone who's interested:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

A non-fiction book that looks at how childhood has been “rewired”, focusing specifically on the increase of overprotective parenting, increase of tablet/social media usage, and decrease of unstructured, independent play. It was a fascinating read that really looked at how children need to be given lots of opportunities to play, take risks, and make mistakes in order to learn and grow and how a loss of that might be impacting people’s mental health. As someone right on the cusp of the age bracket that’s being focused on, it felt very exposing.

Apothecary Diaries v1-2 by Natsu Hyuuga

Maomao is kidnapped and sold as a servant to the imperial palace, where she serves as a general dogsbody in the rear palace, home of the emperor’s various consorts and concubines. She’s determined to keep her head down until her contract is up… until she helps solve a mystery and catches the eye of the powerful eunech Jinshi who soon learns about her in-depth knowledge of apothecary work and anything to do with poisons. Very funny premise, Maomao hates Jinshi soooo much and he is such a simp for it. She just wants to eat poisons and be left alone and he says “no<3” to both of those

Bury Your Gays (and Straight) by Chuck Tingle

Both of these are very explicitly queer horror novels. Straight is a novella that riffs on the format of a zombie story, but with straight people becoming inexplicably violent towards queer people one day a year. Bury Your Gays is about a Hollywood screenwriter who realises his horror creations are begin to stalk him in the real world. Both are very intentionally built around social commentary on queer issues, and despite have audacious premises they completely own their camp and end up producing really well thought out, insightful stories. I can’t say I liked either as much as Camp Damascus but either is worth a read.

Console Wars by Blake J. Harris (and Blood, Sweat, and Pixels by Jason Schreier)

Console Wars is a nonfiction book I’ve meant to read for years on my brother’s recommendation and I quite enjoyed it. It explores the history of the video game console market in North America, with a focus on how Nintendo revitalized it and how Sega then swooped in to upset the monopoly it held. The book is written in a very narrative, personable style and I found myself really rooting for the various people and companies being portrayed ahahaha. A shockingly fun read. I also read Blood, Sweat, and Pixels which wasn’t quite as narratively compelling but a related read that looked at games with complex development cycles.

Defekt by Nino Cipri

Technically the sequel to Finna which I also read this year, but Defekt works as a stand-alone and is, imho, the better of the two. Both deal with a surrealist horror Ikea setting, where the sheer density and liminal-space-ness of it all allows strange wormholes to open up between these stores from different dimensions. Finna deals with actual wormhole hopping, whereas Defekt focuses in on one employee who gets assigned to a very strange overnight inventory shift.

The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish v1-2 by Xue Shan Fei Hu

Fish isekai book. Is this a good book? No. Is it a really really fun book? Yes, in spades. In this book, Li Yu wakes up in a court drama novel… but not as a character but rather as the tyrannical prince’s pet fish. He is given the task to improve the prince and is stuck figuring out how the hell to do this as a fish. This book knows exactly how ridiculous it is and leans into it. Li Yu and Prince Jing are both idiots in very unique and exciting directions. No one knows what the fuck is happening.

Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

A prequel to Every Heart a Doorway, though it works perfectly well as a standalone. Honestly I liked it more than the first. This book has deliciously gothic horror vibes, and it plays with all the tropes you would expect from gothic horror / fear of the sublime. It’s about sisters who find a strange chest that lets them descend to the sinister land of the Moors. This is where vampires rule, werewolves stalk, and mad scientist’s ply their craft. The girls end up separated on and very different trajectories as they grow and acclimatize to the brutal existence of the Moors.

Escape From Incel Island by Margaret Killjoy

Exactly what it says on the tin. Completely insane book that is very worth the read if you feel like something that is patently insane. I strongly recommend treating this as a read aloud with a friend or loved one because I read it with my brother and couldn’t stop laughing. Top notch mercenary Mankiller Jones is sent to escort a computer scientist to Incel Island to retrieve lost governmental data. There they have to survive the hoards of Nice Guys, Volcels, Betas, and every other violent inhabitant of the island if they ever want to… escape from Incel Island.

Heaven Official’s Blessing v6-8 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

I finished the main series of Heaven Official’s Blessing (without reading the extras yet), and man what an ending! I could not have asked for a more epic or satisfying conclusion! The final battle and its various stages? The character reconciliation? The villain reveal? Perfect, no notes. The series itself follows Xie Lian, a prince who has ascended to godhood twice and been cursed and cast out from Heaven just as many times, giving him the title of the Laughingstock God. The story begins with him, to everyone’s dismay, ascending a third time.

Horrorstör (and Paperbacks from Hell, My Best Friend’s Exorcism) by Grady Hendrix

This book also deals with a Strange Alternate Ikea, but is the superior book. This was one of my top reads for 2024, and it was flawless horror. It is essentially a haunted house story set in an Ikea, that manages to be both chilling, disgusting, and a shockingly insightful critique of capitalism and retail. Very worth the read.

After reading this I also read Paperbacks from Hell (a nonfiction book that does an analysis of horror fiction from the ‘70s and ‘80s, very good read) and My Best Friend’s Exorcism (which was decent but not my favourite of Hendrix’s since possession and exorcism isn’t my favourite brand of horror. The vaguely queer undertones and ending I found interesting, and it did some cool things throughout.)

Jeeves and Wooster books by P.G. Wodehouse

I ended up listening to so many of the Jeeves and Wooster audiobooks this summer while I was travelling. There were some I really really loved and some that fell very flat for me. I think I listened to too many in a row by the end… These books are like popcorn, not deep but very fun, and follow the airheaded but good natured Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves who unfailing swoops in to solve all the strange and inane problems the Bertie gets involved in. They tend to be funny, light-hearted, and clever in their resolution of plot problems… though some of the issues do get rather repetitive. My favourites were: The Inimitable Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, and the Code of the Woosters.

Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Some excellent science fiction, especially for my Pacific Rim loving heart. This bordered on the cosy fantasy genre, while mixing in plenty of science, world-building and a good dash of excitement. During the Covid-19 lockdown, Jamie Gray is stuck trying to make ends meet as a food delivery driver… until he runs into an old acquaintance who suggests he might have a very different job offer for him. Jamie ends up joining this very secretive “animal rights group” and finds out just how massive, dangerous, and otherworldly these “animals” are by being risked to an entirely different dimension filled with giant, radioactive monsters.

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books by Kirsten Miller

One of my favourite books from this year! Tthis book managed to hit on very topical subjects with both tact and humour. Lula Dean has spearheaded a book banning crusade, managing to get a number of “problematic” books removed from the library and has made a show of setting up a Little Free Library in her yard full of “appropriate” books instead. When Beverly Underwood visits her mother and hears about this she’s so exasperated with it all that she quickly hatches a plan swapping out the dust jackets of some of the banned books with the ones in Lula Dean’s Little Free Library. The rest of the story is about various people in the town who borrow a book from Lula Dean’s library and how the book they got instead ends up impacting not just themselves but their town. The first story involves a penis cake. Can’t recommend it enough, starts out humour and quickly becomes something you want to rally around.

My Happy Marriage v1 by Akumi Agitogi

This was pure mindless fluff, it was honestly a delight. This is a low-fantasy, Cinderella-esque story set in the Taishō era. It focuses on Miyo Saimori who lives under the thumb of her cruel step-mother, haughty step-sister, and indifferent father. She’s resigned to being treated like a servant in her own home and ekeing out a strained existence, but her life takes a turn when she finds herself nominally engaged to the allegedly cold and cruel Kiyoka Kudou. It’s just absolutely overwhelmingly cute and I really enjoy the contrasting POVs.

A Series of Unfortunate Events and Poison for Breakfast by Lemony Snicket

I’d never finished The Series of Unfortunate Events when it was originally coming out, so I finally sat down and did that, and honestly it was well worth the wait! It was a very interesting series to read as an adult, especially all in one go, because it really let me appreciate everything that Snicket was trying to say. It was a much more clever and philosophical read than I was anticipating, and The End was fucking superb. He absolutely stuck the landing, it completely blew me away. Poison For Breakfast was also a very interesting standalone novella that felt like surrealist philosophy. I might have even enjoyed it more than the basic TSOUE.

The Poison Squad (and The Poisoner’s Handbooks) by Deborah Blum

Poison Squad is a very compelling and topical nonfiction about the formation of the American Food and Drug act. The state of unregulated food processing in the late 19th century was, in a word, nightmarish. Don’t read this book if you have a weak stomach. But it’s completely fascinating to see how one person, Dr Harvey Wiley, made it a personal mission to scientifically prove what all these mysterious food additives were doing to people and put limits to what could be sold to consumers. I liked it so much I went to read Blum’s other book, The Poisoner’s Handbook which is set during Prohibition and explores the rise of forensic medicine and again exposes how people were being poisoned by simply living their standard lives.

The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill

The real, true history of the New York City Pushcart War!! For real!!! This is a delightful underdog story that is really written in the style of a history textbook recounting the fictional Pushchart War. This war started in New York City as the roads get increasingly congested with traffic, the worst offenders being the increasingly massive and arrogant trucks. The trucking companies hatch a plan though: if they begin to push out the little pushcarts, framing them as the problem for the congestion, then how hard would it be to push out taxis next? Or buses? Or motorcars? How long until they can make the road a perfect habit for trucks and trucks alone? How can something as small and poor as a pushcart owner fight back?

Railsea (and This Census-Taker) by China Miéville

I heard Railsea described on tumblr and it sounded sufficiently insane that I had to read it for myself. This author is truly unrivaled when it comes to bizarre worldbuilding that feels both very, very grounded in reality while also being completely unexplained and impossible. Railsea is essentially a Moby Dick meets Treasure Island retelling but with trains instead of boats and giant, mutated, vicious moles instead of whales. Unhinged. Can’t recommend enough. I followed this up by reading his novella This Census-Taker which was not as much of a frolicking adventure but fucked with my brain just as much or more than Railsea did. Genuinely not sure I even know what happened in that story but I enjoyed the experience of being completely fucking baffled for some 200 pages.

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Another book to ideally not read if you have a weak stomach. This novella is very big on unrelenting body horror. This is a twisted fairytale retelling in which a cannibalistic Little Mermaid meets a plague doctor Frankenstein. Both of them are walking away from cruel past lives, along a trail that’s soaked in blood and viscera. You feel how painfuly and disgustingly human this book is, while also being so wildly separate from anything that resembles human anatomy or morality. Superb.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System v1-4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

The last of MXTX’s three series I needed to read. It was the one I was most hesitant about, but I ended up having a really great time with it. It is simultaneously the most light-hearted and silly of the three series, while also the one that most gleefully dives into torture and sex. So you get a bit of everything with this, and as usual MXTX does a really good job of mixing the humour and series in a way that keeps things constantly interesting. The story is about Shen Yuan who dies our of pure, frothing fury after reading the shitty ending to the shitty, porny webnovel he’s been reading for hundreds of thousands of words. He dies cursing the lousy author and the lousy writing so he’s given a chance: step up and do it better! Which is easier said than done, when he finds himself waking up in the body of the series’ villain who is destined to be gruesomely tortured to death. Better get on that!

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent by Judi Dench and Brendan O'Hea

This is the written result of a number of interviews held between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea and she discusses her time as a Shakespearean actress. It looks into what her time working with theatre companies was like, summarizes the plays she took part in, and delivers into some fascinating character analysis of the roles she played. An absolute treasure of a book for someone who enjoyed their Shakespeare and/or Judi Dench.

Singing Hills Cycle v1-5 by Nghi Vo

Probably my favourite series that I read this year, I can’t wait for the next book! This series follows Chih and her magical bird companion who come from the Singing Hills Monastery, an order that is devoted to keep recording tales and keeping a history of the land. Chih travels all over in these various novellas, collecting stories, memories, and histories that they come across. The first book has them entering the recently unwarded palace of the late Empress to learn about her marriage, imprisonment and rise in power. The second has them trapped by a pack of tigresses with nothing to do but frantically lure them into comparing stories.

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

Ten year old Ada was born with a club foot and because of it has never been allowed to leave her apartment. She lives a hard life trying to care for her younger brother and suffer through the abuses of her mother. Things change though as the Second World War truly begins and London begins to evacuate children to the country. Ada is determined — she and her brother will evacuate, they will escape their mother’s house, even if it means her learning how to walk on her club foot. Even if it means facing how different life is for unwanted slum children in the country, and confronting how much she and her brother don’t know about life. This was a very touching book, it did a great job of balancing Ada’s justifiable pain and anger with an optimistic story. Queer elements are all subtext but there — they aren’t the main focus of this story.

When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

This book absolutely took my breath away, it was a next level literary experience. It’s very, very solidly magical realism, so don’t go into this expecting true fantasy, everything going on here is allegorical and a beautifully done allegory at that. This story is set during the 1950s, in a time surrounding an event known as “The Mass Dragoning” when thousands of women suddenly, spontaneously, transformed into dragons and flew away. The story follows Alex Green who was a child during this event. Her aunt transformed. Her mother didn’t. Both of these things have profound impacts on Alex as she grows up, and a woman’s role in society, a woman’s anger, her joy, her desire are all questioned and explored.

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heaven-s-black-box · 2 days ago

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Head Down- Jing Yuan x fem!Reader

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Recovery date: January 6th, 2025

Description: Hi I was just watching the first episode of the apothecary diaries and I had an idea, what if the reader was in a similar situation with Jing Yuan

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with an anonymous researcher, we thank them for their contributions. I took the whole, trying to keep to yourself but wanting to help and getting dragged in to stuff, aspect. Hope that's good enough.

Word count: 1 371

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Survival is predicated on keeping your head down; at least that’s what Y/n has been taught.

It was how she’d made it through life so far, working hard through school and never going above and beyond, finding a quiet career as a waitress at the Sleepless Earl. Even her hobbies were fairly mundane.

Y/n stood in the kitchen, hugging her tray to her chest and watching the water boil as she made a new pot of tea for one of her tables. The door to the shop opened and closed, and there were heavy footsteps on the polished wooden floor. Her lips curled into a barely noticeable frown.

Cloud Knights rarely entered the shop, it was inconvenient in case they were called off for an emergency. Only once or twice had Cloud Knights come in, still armored, right after a shift.

She waited with baited breath for the footsteps to pass, to find a table inside, but luck was not on her side today.

“Excuse me, ma’am.” Y/n looked up from the water. “Can we speak with Ms. Mengming?”

“Ms. Mengming isn’t here today, but she left me in charge.” Unfortunately. “How can I help you?”

The Knights looked at eachother, having a silent conversation, and then addressed her again.

“Is there a way we can contact Ms.Mengming?”

“I can get you her number,” Y/n offered, not bothering to probe.

They agreed, and Y/n excused herself to the back; coming back with Mengming’s contact information scribbled on a note. Surely she would understand that Y/n had to interrupt her day off, though she did feel a little bad.

The Cloud Knights left, and Y/n assumed that would be the end of it.

It was not.

A week later Y/n showed up for her morning shift and was immediately met with a gossip circle in the break room.

“Y/n!” One of her co-workers called her over.

“What’s up?”

“What did the Cloud Knights want the other day?”

Y/n shrugged, putting her stuff in her locker. “They were looking for Mengming, I didn’t ask why.”

“That’s Y/n for you,” someone else commented, he was new so Y/n didn’t take it to heart.

Most of her co-workers appreciated her behavior, because she’d definitely caught them doing things they technically shouldn’t and she’d also gone above and beyond without credit to lessen their workloads. Because technically, one could live with their head down as long as they never got caught doing more than the bare minimum.

“Well the Cloud Knights are back, and they’re interviewing everyone individually.”

“I think I saw the General here too.”

“Why would the General be here?”

“Must be serious if he is.”

“Great,” Y/n mumbled.

Y/n was the first interviewed.

She’s barely started the first batch of snacks when Mengming called her into her office. The foxian bid her good morning with a reassuring smile and held the door open for her.

Even before stepping in, Y/n took note of the room. The only person in the room was, surprisingly, General Jing Yuan. Outside the door were two Cloud Knights on either side, and Mengming who excused herself to go help the rest of the staff.

Y/n nodded politely at the Cloud Knights before stepping into the office. The Cloud Knights closed the door behind her, and she stopped to stand behind the chair across from the General.

“General, is there anything I can help you with today?”

This was not the first time they’d met; Jing Yuan was a fan of the Sleepless Earl, and Y/n had been working here for quite a while.

“Please, sit.” Y/n did as she was told, crossing her hands in her lap. “Apologies for interrupting your day.”

“It’s alright, I’m sure the matter must be important if you’re here yourself.”

Jing Yuan laughed. “Always straight to the point.” The General leaned forward, lacing his hands on the desk. “Have you noticed any of your co-workers acting suspicious lately?”

“No.” Y/n bit the inside of her lip to stop herself from wincing, she’d answered too fast. “I mean, I don’t really pay attention to know what’s suspicious and what’s not.”

The General raised a brow, scrutinizing her lie.

You see, Jing Yuan is very perceptive. He has to be. He also likes to think he knows Y/n pretty well, so he does know that she definitely pays attention to the things going on around her. It’s very hard to pass unnoticed when you don’t know what the norm is.

“Y/n.”

“Yes?”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out two pieces of paper. One, a receipt from the Sleepless Earl with a note scribbled on it. She doesn’t need to read it, or see the second paper, to know what he’s getting at. The second paper, which she glances at anyway to confirm her suspicions, is a note.

Side by side, she wants to kick herself.

It is very clearly her handwriting both times, rushed but legible.

“If you have a tip what’s with the interviews? Surely the Cloud Knights can investigate on their own.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“A bit of an abuse of power, no? You’re disrupting our business for your own curiosity.”

“You wouldn’t have answered me otherwise, now, the sooner you answer the sooner we leave.”

Y/n sighed, setting her hands on the desk and leaning in.

“She’d unpacked a shipment of tea and ‘thrown out’ the shipment box saying it was damaged. Unfortunately for her, I’d already checked the shipment and knew it wasn’t damaged.”

“So you investigated.”

“No. What do you take me for, a PI? It was one box and I’d scratched off the approval seal, I do that with all our shipments. But she didn’t want it to get something past inspections, did she?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

Y/n sat back, dragging her hands along the desk. It shouldn’t matter that Jing Yuan couldn’t tell her, she was already more involved than she liked to be. Survival was predicated on keeping your head down, and not getting involved with dangerous people– and anyone could be dangerous.

But, Y/n wasn’t the type to let injustices she could stop pass her by. That was why she was here, wasn’t it? Because she couldn’t keep to herself like her parents taught her to.

That was why she had packed that stupid note in Jing Yuan’s order of tea cakes to go.

“Is that all then?”

Jing Yuan nodded. “You’re free to go.”

She stood up, bowed politely, and left.

Her co-workers practically swarmed her, asking what to expect and what it was about. They were silenced when the office door opened again and Jing Yuan stepped out. He apologized to them for disrupting their day, and then Mengming escorted him and the Cloud Knights out.

Y/n watched them until the door to the shop closed.

The next day, one of her co-workers was arrested for the trafficking of illicit substances on the Luofu. Y/n had been half right, it didn’t matter that the boxes no longer had inspection seals because they were only being used to hold and move the substances within the Luofu. She’d had a feeling it involved illicit substances, she hadn’t mentioned anything to Jing Yuan but there had been more to her tip than just the boxes.

Since she was using empty tea boxes, she would keep some of her wares around the Sleepless Earl. Y/n had taken great care to keep anyone else from finding out; it would be too much of a hassle. The Sleepless Earl would have to close during the investigation and everyone who worked here would be implicated. It would do more harm than good to report her.

As Y/n watched the news, her phone lit up with a text from an unknown number.

Unknown 8:16 AM I think we work well together I hope you’ll keep me updated in the future It’s a lot of effort to pull a stunt like yesterday, and it’s counter to your motto I do believe

#researcher s's recovery #honkai star rail #honkai star rail jing yuan #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #x reader #female reader #oneshot #hsr oneshot

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togenabi · 1 year ago

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togenabi's masterlist—♡

most, if not all of my works are sfw romantic fluff. happy reading! —xoxo, belle ♡

JUJUTSU KAISEN

✨toge inumaki✨

by the window under the moonlight (pt.1)— fluff/royalty au; 1.9k words

ㅤㅤ♡—when sent to look for your brother, you find a handsome stranger instead.

with flowers under the stars (pt.2) — fluff/royalty au; 4.1k words

ㅤㅤ♡—Toge does his best to impress you, even when others might not want him to.

my home is where your heart is — fluff/domestic au; 1k words

ㅤㅤ♡—your things keep winding up in Toge's place, and his things in yours. what are you going to do about it?

✨megumi fushiguro✨

throwing pebbles because I love you — fluff/royalty au; 2.3k words

ㅤㅤ♡—whenever the night is clear, and the wind blows softly, Megumi throws rocks at your window.

all my ghosts — fluff/there are ghosts in this fic; 1.5k words

ㅤㅤ♡—haunted by ghosts all your life, you find peace and quiet in Megumi’s arms

✨yuuji itadori✨

rose petals falling — mild angst/beauty & the beast au; coming soon

✨yuuta okkotsu✨

waking up slow — fluff/established relationship; 1k words

ㅤㅤ♡—waking up with Yuuta is one of your favorite things to do.

✨satoru gojo✨

the language of flowers — fluff/royalty au/arranged marriage; 4.7k words

ㅤㅤ♡—all your life, you have been training for the role of empress... but nothing could have prepared you to be Satoru's wife.

ONE PIECE (LA)

✨vinsmoke sanji✨

apothecary diaries — fluff/apothecary reader; 3.7k words

ㅤㅤ♡—you need peppermint for a salve you're making, but Sanji bought all of it, and that's seriously not fair.

things I won't tell you — fluff/royalty au; 7.3k words

ㅤㅤ♡—the new royal chef doesn't seem to recognize you without your crown. who's going to tell him? . . . certainly not you.

swan lake — fluff/slowish burn/swan lake au; 8.8k words

ㅤㅤ♡—cursed by a wicked sorcerer, you found the keys to your freedom in the eyes of a chef who tries to cook you

✨roronoa zoro✨

breaking news — fluff/journalist reader; 5.4k words

ㅤㅤ♡—you always had a feeling the straw hats could change your life, but meeting Zoro shifted the entire world on its axis.

pick me up — mild angst/fluff/straw hat reader; 3.2k words

ㅤㅤ♡—Zoro never paid your jokes or pickup lines any mind. that is, until something happens that makes you stop.

the promised knight — slow burn/fluff/royalty au; 8.7k words

ㅤㅤ♡—after a lifetime apart, Zoro finds his way back to you.

✨dracule mihawk✨

the taste of ale — angst/royalty au; 1.2k words

ㅤㅤ♡—'the promised knight' in MIhawk's perspective. told through my notes.

GENSHIN IMPACT

✨coming soon...✨

requests — CLOSED! (see rules here.)

taglist — see post here.

#🦢masterlist—♡#togenabi-writes #masterlist #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #inumaki toge x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader

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ladyloveandjustice · 1 year ago

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Fall 2023 Anime Overview: Frieren: Beyond Journey's End and The Apothecary Diaries

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Premise: Frieren and her adventuring party saved the world from the Demon King after a ten year quest, and now their adventure is over. Frieren, as an elf who's lived for thousands of years, calls the journey a "short" one and casually says goodbye to her companions, promising to pop back around in fifty years. She does exactly that, only to find her companions have significantly aged, and when a beloved friend quickly passes away, she's wracked with grief and suddenly realizes this very "short" journey was important to her. In order to try to understand her feelings and human lives in general, she decided to retrace the steps of her journey, picking up companions on the way.

Frieren is both an interesting examination of what happens after the hero saves the world, as well as a meditation on mortality, grief, and the endless march of time. Frieren's long life allows her to see the impact she and her friends had on tons of people, even as, heartbreakingly, the memories of her companions are slowly fading from the collective consciousness, with only the legend remaining. There's a beautiful, bittersweet, hopeful but melancholy atmosphere to the narrative, and the animation is absolutely breathtaking. Frieren herself is an intriguing character, seemingly stoic and disconnected but achingly human underneath it all and not without her funny quirks. She also has a good dynamic with the companions she picks up.

A sticking point for some might be the small arc where Frieren takes on some demons. It's a tone shift from the rest, being more of a fight against the Evil Enemy rather than a quiet meditation on loss, and I'll never be fond of the Innately Evil Fantasy Race trope.

Frieren does try to counteract the implications by saying the demons are just evolved from monsters who would mimic human speech to lure in and eat people. So they're basically monsters! ..But that actually just makes some parts just straight up not make sense (they're clearly sentient, animals don't get together to plot like the demons do, etc). I think what Frieren is going for is the horror of a monster almost indistinguishable from humans that only has interest in eating and killing us, which is has it's basis in mythology (while having it's own loaded implications) but the execution... could be better. There's something uncomfortable whenever a hero's motivation is "wipe all of this sentient race out" and the narrative seemingly bends over backwards to justify that. (And even if the demons sincerely did actually act like animals, I would have a hard time with Frieren declaring she's going to kill every last dragon on earth because some destroyed her village).

I'm told that Frieren isn't necessarily meant to be right about demons, and later on the manga introduces some elements that make the demons much more complex and less 'innately evil'' than that arc has them appear to be, but for now, it's awkward. However, I really did enjoy the amazingly animated fights and bonechilling moments we got out of that arc, and afterward the show went back to doing it's usual exploration of loss thing.

I think Frieren is a well crafted, beautiful and sometimes touching journey though a pastoral fantasy world. There's just a jarring and somewhat poorly executed element as a bump in the road (that nevertheless is a mostly entertaining arc). It also has girls that kick ass and are interesting characters and there's no fanservice bullshit, always a bonus. I'm on board for the rest!

The Apothecary Diaries

Premise: Maomao works as an apothecary in a land much like 15th century China and she LOVES poisons. After being kidnapped and forced to work as a servant girl in the imperial palace, she solves a mysterious case of poisoning and catches the eye one of the Emporer's top concubines, who makes her a lady in waiting. Thanks to her sharp mind and knowledge of poisons, Mao Mao is unwilling pulled into the cauldron of deception and sabotage that is the inner palace, and there's lots of mysteries to solve...

The Apothecary Diaries is definitely among my top anime this season, and a lot of it is down to Maomao, who's an incredible character. She's whip smart and refreshingly pragmatic, she's a cynical, bizarre little gremlin who loves poison way too much and she wishes everyone would just leave her alone so she can do weird medical experiments (often on herself). She just wants to keep her head down and not attract any trouble but annoyingly, her sense of justice means she can't ignore people in trouble! She's also disgusted by any man who tries to seduce her (girl, same). She's just plain fun to follow. She's impressive with her deductions, and intensely relatable at times. I love her, and Aoi Yuki does a fantastic job with her deadpan affect.

The anime is beautifully done, and it really gets across the cutthroat world of the Imperial Palace. Maomao lives among the concubines, so a lot of the anime is concerned with how women are treated as disposable, and how they're pitted against each other for the Emperor's approval. Without being direct about it, it shows that being a concubine and palace servant is not a happy life, and even the most favored long for more freedom. Maomao is a girl without any power to change things, so she has to accept the way it is, but does extend kindnesses and helps the women around her when she can.

Then there's Jinshi, who. uh. He's an interesting character and is slowly developing, but I hate how he treats Maomao a lot of the time. The gag that he can't seduce her is fine enough, but he's super willing to use his social power over her to force her into uncomfortable situations. There's a part where he tries to force Maomao to taste honey from his fingers, backing her up against a wall, and it's so realistic about how it feels to have a man weaponize his higher standing in the workplace to harass you that it's very hard to watch. Maomao sweats and desperately strategizes to figure out how to refuse him without getting beheaded, looks at his assistant for help only for him to ignore her-- it's heartbreaking. The show does acknowledge how messed up with this is. Concubine Gyokuyo comes in to save Maomao and is furious at Jinshi for how he's treating her, Maomao tells off the assistant for ignoring her, and takes pleasure in getting a small bit of revenge on Jinshi later. But it makes me want Jinshi to go away. He's framed as Maomao's potential love interest sometimes, despite the fact she doesn't show any interest in him so far, (though I'm told they haven't gotten together in the English release of the source yet). I hope it doesn't happen (Maomao reads so aroace right now), but who knows, maybe he'll develop a lot.

Jinshi aside, you should also know that this being based off imperial China, pretty horrifying things are presented casually (like a nine year old concubine) though again, the show is well aware the system is messed up. There's also an incredibly quick, weird moment where Maomao tells a rape joke? She obliquely threatens sexual assault to a concubine who's bullying and threatening her (so obliquely I didn't realize at first and thought she was threatening to poison her, which would have been way more in character) and then goes 'whooops it was just a joke'. Nothing like that happens again, but it was completely bizarre and seemed OOC. There's also some "women are like this" dialogue that fits the time period but can still be annoying.

Overall, The Apothecary Diaries has intrigue, well-developed characters and an impeccable atmosphere, with a fascinating examination of the social constraints placed on women as an undercurrent. It tells a great range of stories, from romantic triumph, to bittersweet tales of recovering from grief, to pure tragedies, MaoMao is extremely lovable and entertaining, and I adore seeing her Sherlock Holmes her way though all the medical mysteries, while squeeing over horrible poison. Definitely check this out!

#the apothecary diaries #frieren: beyond journey's end #frieren #sousou no frieren #kusuriya no hitorigoto #fall 2023 anime #my reviews #anime overview

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enihk-writes · 11 months ago

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[at the end of a burnt wick]

pairing: tang bo x afab!she/her!reader

NOT exactly an x reader because i didn't want tang bo and reader's relationship to be romantic, tried to make them platonic / co-workers like ah-duo and the emperor from the apothecary diaries + implied tangchung because all roads lead to old men yaoi

summary: anthology of a married pair

content warning: archaic wedding practices mentioned (i.e. having to consummate a marriage against the will of both parties) // stillbirth and child loss (disconnect with traditional expectations of parenthood)

word count: 6.66k

author's note: my roman empire lately is about how i used to audition to nijisanji and only niji at least 3-4 times (didn't even pass the first stage lol) before i got really fixated with rotbb.... maybe one day i will try my hand at vtubing and streaming again... for now it's fanfiction time ragggghhh!!!!! fictional men 4ever!!!!

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

═══════════════

FIRST MEETING

the first time the young tang bo met her, was when he was a little over fifteen.

she was also just as young as he — a wee lass that had yet to lose the childlike roundness of her cheeks, round eyes that seemed to sparkle in wonderment at all the grandeur around her. tang bo didn't understand what was so special about the surroundings, he'd grown up here all his life and had already seen most of anything money could buy. this girl was weird.

he didn't find out until much later that this was the first time she had ever left the four walls of her room, much less her own home.

he thinks that it was no wonder she had looked so amazed with everything she saw back then. he can't imagine a life where he had to live constrained to one place, going through the same routine everyday would have bored him to death.

he wasn't looking forward to future conversations with that girl — he was certain she would be utterly dull and boring.

═══════════════

ENGAGEMENT

tang bo was furious that the elders had went and signed off the engagement contract without even asking for his approval. he had been meeting with countless hopefuls for a few years by now, and he'd been able to fend them all off by acting in ways that had all these well-bred ladies huffing and puffing in indignation. crying to their fathers that they would rather die than marry a man like he.

so who was it that agreed to this!

tang bo mutters under his breath, teeth gritted, fists clenched. he had to see with his own two eyes the woman who was stupid or desperate enough to let herself be wed to the likes of him.

elder!

the young man throws open the doors to the main hall, not caring one bit about the guests sitting inside. the elders and the patriarch in question frowned at his behaviour, biting their tongues from chastising him in front of strangers.

his gaze lands on a familiar face, a little older and a lot less naive, but familiar nonetheless. he didn't know that a person's demeanour could change so drastically in a few years.

tang bo's hands fall to his sides, he shuffles towards the end of the table, plopping down on the empty spot across his soon-to-be betrothed. he eyes her figure, chewing on the inside of his mouth, trying to come up with something to insult her with.

tang bo—

the patriarch didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence when the young man scoffs at the girl's face, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a sneer.

really? her?

tang bo glances over at the heads of his family, finger pointing rudely in the girl's face. they all sigh, knowing what was about to come from the impudent boy. they could only hope this girl wouldn't take his jabs to heart.

hey you.

he juts his chin at her.

all my other candidates looked prettier than you. hey, did you even bother to put in any effort when coming to meet me?

she ignored him, sipping on her tea serenely. the girl's guardians shift in their seats nervously. ah, this young master has yet to face their mistress' infamous anger.

tang bo clicks his tongue.

oi, did you even — hey!

he didn't expect her to splash the remainder of her drink onto him. the warm liquid splatters across his face and drips down his now damp hair, even the front of his robes were now soiled from the tea.

he looks over to the elders of his family in surprise, hoping that they'd stand up for him but none met his eye. he felt betrayed when he catches some of them trying to hide the twitch of their mouths suppressing their laughs.

they all thought that it was about time someone put this boy in his place, talented and intelligent as he may be.

needless to say, the rest of the meeting went on smoothly. and it ended with the confirmation of the two's engagement. much to tang bo's despair and the girl's indifference.

═══════════════

FIRST 'DATE'

he really tried his best to drag his feet that day. the elders had arranged for an evening dinner in the newly established inn downtown with his bride-to-be and tang bo really did not want to go. he was kicking up a fuss with his clothes, this one was too dull, that one is too bright, it's too rough, it's too short... and so on. but when he finally ran out of excuses and the attendants tiredly managed to dress him appropriately — the sun was beginning to set.

tang bo perks up. perhaps he didn't have to go out with her after all!

he steps out of his room, surprised to see that there was no one in the courtyard. he shouldn't have felt a jolt of worry then, but he did, and he wondered if something was wrong.

where is she?

he asks to no one in particular, heading to her room three doors down from his, footfalls heavy on the lacquered wooden planks of the corridor. he hears panicked voices muffled behind the doors and throws the doors to her room open.

she sat in the middle of the room in nothing but her undergarments, surrounded by the tang estate's maids and piles of unworn clothes. she had her back facing him, and all he could see were the maids hurriedly hiding away the containers of makeup all shying away from his scrutinising gaze.

out.

the maids didn't have to be told twice. they all scurried out of her room like mice, tails between their legs and faces pursed in anxiety at being caught in the middle of something they probably shouldn't be doing. tang bo sighed heavily. to think the woman he was to marry was getting bullied, by mere maids too? he felt ashamed on her behalf. he didn't like people who were fine with others taking advantage and stepping all over them. he hated that they didn't have a backbone to stand up for themselves.

kicking off his shoes, he entered her room — nose scrunched up instinctively at the suffocating dust in the air. he looked around to see all the windows shut tightly, there were no gaps for even a sliver of light to shine inside.

how has this girl been living so far, for her to be fine with this treatment?

tang bo coughed, stumbling over to open the windows, lightheaded from the lack of breathable air. he waves his hands to chase the dust outside, coughing even harder when the little particles get all up in his face.

he hears her giggle. much to his growing annoyance, what was so funny anyway.

he sits in front of her, letting the pile of unworn clothes cushion him from the hard floor. under the orange glow of the setting sun, he sees her for the first time today, all dolled up in the most garish makeup that would have certainly humiliated her, and had he not barged in she would have had to go around in public like that.

you look uglier today.

she chuckled and hummed in response, she looks around in search of something. grabbing a rag from under the clothes, she proceeded to wipe off her painted face, only to have tang bo take it out of her hands with a soft, let me.

he holds her chin between his fingers, rubbing off the white powder that contrasted starkly against her skin, making her look sickly. he rubs off the crudely drawn-out eyebrows and the thick rouge that sat on her lips. he can't help but notice the way her lashes fluttered as she tried to keep her eyes closed. maybe his fiancee was a little cute.

with her face now bare, the girl lets out the breath she had been holding. but tang bo wasn't done yet.

where are you facing. turn back here.

he ordered pointedly, and she couldn't help but to go back into her prior position. lips and eyes squeezed shut, much like a puppy getting told off for misbehaving.

picking up a brush out of the many lying haphazardly over the vanity, tang bo dipped it's tip into the little porcelain jar left ajar. it was lipstick in a shade deep red, the type that would have looked lovely especially on her.

he holds the girl's now bare face in one hand, the brush in the other, outlining the shape of her lips with the new rouge. the feathery touch of the brush tip was ticklish, moreso with how tang bo had been holding it in an uncharacteristically gentle way as though he were a potter painting intricate patterns on a cup before he sent it off to the burning fires in a kiln.

he pinched the brush, smudging the tint against his fingers and drawing faint circles at the outer corner of her eyes.

tang bo leans back to admire his handiwork. he couldn't help but feel proud of the results. not only was he good at martial arts and medicine, he had an amazing eye for aesthetics too? where would anyone find a better husband then he?

the girl opens her eyes cautiously, her gaze meeting his. he looked pleased, boastful even.

hmph. you look more presentable now.

he hands her a mirror, and as she looks at her reflection against the shiny bronze surface, she had to agree. her fiance had done a good job with her face. maybe he wasn't all that awful.

thank you, young master tang.

the girl smiled, her eyes crinkling upwards in a smile. tang bo scoffs and looks out the window, hiding his embarrassment at her sincere words. thinking back now, this was the first he'd heard her speak, wasn't it? maybe he should pay more attention once in a while.

heh. of course you should be thanking me.

the sky and grown dark. lucky him, he didn't have to go out to that dinner with her after all.

═══════════════

THE FIRST REAL DATE

tang bo felt a little irked that she had been walking behind him even when he had slowed down to match her pace. it's almost like she had been deliberately hanging back.

you.

he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him. she stumbled over her feet and falls over with a startled squeak.

you're my fiancee. so stand proud and walk beside me.

he declares with a hand on his hip, the grip on her wrist with his other not once loosening. he walks again, just as slow as he had been earlier, feeling a little happy that the girl no longer lagged behind.

he'd started to warm up to her, no longer seeing her as the stranger living in his house, one day to become his wife. she was more akin to a little sister he'd have to babysit.

no, actually she was more like an apprehensive kitten left on his doorstep that he'd grown to like taking care of.

buying her sweets and spoiling her with accessories she might not even have a chance to wear just because he thought she'd look cute in them has been one of his favourite hobbies these days.

why was he so anxious about getting engaged before? ever since she became his fiancee, he didn't have to go out and meet with any more annoying noble ladies clamouring over each other trying to win over his affection. the best part was that she kept to herself, and minded her own business unless it was time to visit the elders and the patriarch for afternoon tea — which he didn't mind since having her as his own personal walking event reminder has really saved him from getting scolded even more by the old farts.

ah! look! they're selling meat skewers over there! come on, let's go get some! i'm sure you'd like those too.

tang bo giggles and drags the girl over to another street vendor. ah, lucky him. he's hit the jackpot with the whole engagement game — a tolerable and cute wife-to-be, could a boy ask for anything more? guanyin-ma really was looking over him after all.

═══════════════

FORTUNE TELLER

after two seasons of living under the same roof, the heads of the tang clan decide that it was time for the two to meet with the fortune teller. set up an auspicious date through the tung shing, and be wed on the right phase of the moon and the best placement of the stars in the sky.

the young master is lucky to have found someone this compatible. it is hard for children born in his year to find a suitable partner. they say snakes rarely get along with the other zodiacs.

says the old eccentric woman who proclaimed herself to be the best fortune teller in sichuan and the one who had been checking the birthdates of all the potential brides that had been introduced to tang bo thus far. the boy felt the urge to get up and fight that hack, respecting his elders be damned, so she was the one sending him all those insufferable girls his way.

he feels a hand grab at his arm. fingers digging into his flesh enough to keep him seated. he looks over at the girl sitting next to him, expression unchanging, her body angled to lean a little closer to his.

his hand reached over discreetly to peel her fingers off him, bringing her hand down to hold his under the table, fingers intertwined. she seemed to relax a little, tense shoulders falling ever gently, her jaw growing slightly more slack.

to the untrained eye, the girl's expressions were the same. but to him, he's watched her long enough, even if it wasn't every day, to spot the subtle changes whenever she expressed herself. tang bo pats himself on the back for being such an attentive fiance.

his attention shifted from the conversation between the fortune teller and the elders to the girl's hand. they were soft and smooth, as expected of a lady of noble birth. his on the other hand were calloused from training, the tips of his fingers were starting to turn darker from the constant exposure to poisons. shit, he might have to start wearing gloves.

the girl hadn't been paying attention to the conversation going on either, spacing out until the elders called on the two. stifling their startled gasp, the two youngins stared at their elders, a confused expression painted on their faces, not one bit guilty for ignoring everything that was being said.

ah, it's good they are getting along well.

the fortune teller chuckled with a knowing glint in her eye trying to suggest something, but both tang bo and the girl didn't seem to catch her drift, the old woman's point flying over their heads.

the elders soon turn back to their discussion, talking about the best days that would suit the two.

look here, since they are both born as snakes, their auspicious numbers are two, eight and nine. i'd suggest we hold the wedding...

tang bo nudges at the girl.

hey.

she looks up at him. he leaned down next to her ear, wanting to ask her about her birthday, too embarrassed to ask about it outright in front of the elders. he didn't want to seem like an incompetent fiance to his future bride.

she hides a growing grin. it was nice of him to start paying attention to her. little steps, little steps. she wriggles her hand out of his grasp and writes down the date with her finger on the surface of his palm.

good thing their hands were under the table, or people would know about the cause of the redness dusting the back of his ears.

the meeting dragged on until late in the evening. it ended with the agreement that they were to be wed on the eighth day of the eighth month on the eighth year of the emperor's reign.

truly the most auspicious day for a union.

═══════════════

A BRIDE-TO-BE'S DRESSING ROOM

the long-awaited day came by later than expected. the previous emperor passed before he even got close to the eighth year of his reign. not wanting to change the numbers of the date, the elders decided to push the event back until the current emperor had reached his eighth year.

by then, the two had grown into a man and a woman, a lot older than the common age to be wed. but it was no matter. who would dare speak up against the tang clan's young master and his wife-to-be?

the day, hell, even the night before had been hectic. tang bo slipped past his attendants to take a peak at what was going on in her room. traditions be damned, who cares about the groom not seeing his bride until they were at the altar? that was so outdated!

what are you doing here?

she had been left alone to rest from the non-stop preparations since before dawn. tang bo walks in, careful not to make too much noise as he slides the door shut behind him.

why? can't i visit my wife?

i am not your wife.

yet~

his teasing voice moved behind her. he picked up the brush to comb out the knots that were all tangled up — the maids had put on extensions to lengthen her hair. she hadn't been able to grow them to the expected length, much to the annoyance of the maids. they hadn't been nice when attaching the accessories, she could still feel the burning sensation on her scalp.

there was no need to kick up a fuss at this point. especially in front of tang bo. this guy would have kicked out all the attendants who had been treating her poorly, but that felt like too easy of a punishment. she wanted to deal with them herself when the time comes, sorry for that, young master tang.

the leather gloves he wore were cold, and the feeling of his fingertips scratching against her scalp was soothing, enough to draw out a quiet purr from the woman. much to her shocked embarassment.

oh?

she leans away from him.

...please ignore that.

but how could he?

my wife... how can you be so cute~!

i need you to shut up right now.

═══════════════

WORLD'S MOST BORING CEREMONY

if it was any consolation, the two had agreed that this whole affair was a pain in their ass.

wife, do you know when this will end?

what makes you think i have the answer to that?

tang bo thinks his bride was lucky to have that red veil over her face. if she wanted to shut her eyes and sleep, none of the guests nor elders would be any wiser. poor old him. they should have made a veil for the goom too, which smartass decided otherwise anyway? if he ever met that person, tang bo promised he would pummel the other to the ground.

wife.

she hums in acknowledgement, bowing her head at a guest who had come up to the front to pay their blessings to the pair.

wife.

tang bo called out again, his tone getting a little impatient. wincing when he felt her pinch the skin between his thumb and index finger. he tried to smile at the strangers passing them by, feeling drained and completely spent from the day's activities. it didn't help that the noisy chatter of everyone around them was making him feel worse.

wife, you should tell the elders that you're tired and want to rest for the night... i'm sure they'd listen to you.

why me? you go!

huh? me? nuh-uh, you go!

the back and forth lasted for a bit until they both agreed to ask the elders together. after all, having a partner-in-crime to take the fall together with you was way better than facing backlash alone.

perhaps the atmosphere of a wedding had put the elders in a carefree mood, perhaps it was the result of a dozen empty wine bottles. they think it might be both, but no matter, they received permission to get out of there.

the best news either had ever heard today.

scurring away quickly, the newlyweds giggle amongst each other like kids up to no good even as they were well into their twenties. the guests and elders cooed in amusement, talking about how nice it must be to be young and in love.

though that second part was so far from the truth, when the two talk about it again in their later years, it had grown into a funny story they liked to reminisce about over a midnight drink.

═══════════════

THE FIRST NIGHT

tang bo glanced over at his wife, carrying the same grimace as she did. it was hard not to cringe at the overtly crude decorations in their now shared room.

right. that was how it was in these parts. they were now husband and wife so the elders are probably expecting the results of the two carrying out their marital duties within the next year.

i don't want to do that...

me neither...

now sitting across each other on the floor, they discuss how to trick the maids who would certainly check the bedding the next morning. if nothing happened tonight then they would be under more scrutiny. but who's to say that there won't be any surveillance after? ugh! this was all so annoying!

tang bo watched as the woman before him let out a big sigh, dropping her head into her hands. he felt sorry for his wife, it must be hard living as the new daughter-in-law of his family.

should we get this done and over with?

he suggested finally, after exhausting all their options. his wife makes a face at that, but she can't argue.

awkwardly he hands over a vial, an all-purpose antidote of sorts, in case she gets accidentally poisoned while coming into contact with him. the head had passed it to him sometime during the ceremony earlier, tang bo had been hoping he didn't have to use it, at least he held himself back from throwing the whole vial at the wall when it was given.

he didn't say it at first, but he could hear the eyes and ears surrounding them grow careless every few moments, revealing their presence by accident with an unintentional movement or sound. how uncouth of them to be watching the two newlyweds like this. it seemed she'd also noticed their presence, with how she'd glance out the windows whenever a small rustle was heard.

i'm so sorry.

he murmured an apology as he kissed her cheek — he didn't have to look to know she had a faint look of disdain, directed to no one in particular yet still stung through his heart.

it's not your fault.

so she says. but it might as well be. to him at least.

the consummation wasn't a pleasant process. neither could look at the other in the eye. the knowledge that people were standing outside the room to listen in on the completion of their marriage made this whole ordeal so much worse.

wife...i...

tang bo feels his hips stutter, his face burns in shame as his hoarse voice tries to speak.

her hands reach out to brush his hair out of his face, fingertips lightly smooth out the crease of his furrowed brows. she'd resigned herself long ago, knowing this whole process was inevitable from the time she reached adolescence. to think her own husband did not...

she felt a slight twinge of pity. the young master tang was a lot more sheltered than she had thought.

when it was all over, they scrambled to get away from the other, each sitting at the furthest end of the bed — letting what had conspired sink in. how many more times would this have to happen in the future?

she was the first to collect herself. getting up, she shuffles over to tang bo, her hand reaching out for his.

my husband, we should go and clean up.

he nodded, taking her hand in his wordlessly as she led him to the tub hidden behind the partition. after dipping the dry towels in the now warm water to wipe their bodies clean, slipping into clean nightgowns and peeling off the soiled bedspreads to throw them aside, they finally crawl under the covers, yawning tiredly.

sleep came over easily, surprisingly enough.

═══════════════

DIAGNOSIS

the questions that hung around in the air at this time of the year were all about babies, children, the next generation. everyone wanted to know which of the wedded members would be expecting soon.

most eyes were turned on tang bo and his wife.

unfortunately.

their marriage had happened over five years ago, almost ten, and all this time their other relatives who had gotten married later than they were popping out one offspring after another — yet none were to be seen for the young lord and his lady. the elders often lamented on the silence of their side of the estate.

rumour has it that their relationship was on the rocks, with how neither shared a room nor did they spend a night together like all the tang spouses — save for the occasional times they'd go to visit the other's quarters every two to three months. to scratch an itch as one might say. after all, they were still young and quite healthy, so such urges were still common occurrences. might as well do it with someone familiar rather than do that with a stranger.

the relationship between tang bo and his wife was actually far more amicable than anyone could have guessed. it was hard to describe the solace they'd found in each other's unspoken commanderie within the household. they'd been living together long enough to know virtually everything about each other, yet there was always a line drawn between them to keep the distance.

today, she wasn't here for any of their usual arrangements. tang bo had came back to find his wife nursing a cup of tea in one hand, resting it on top of a propped-up leg. she had set out a game of weiqi on the table, next to a steaming teapot and array of snacks.

looks like someone's got news.

his teasing voice called out to the woman, settling down on the seat across her. he hums in thought, contemplating his move as she places down her white bead on the board.

your uncle came over to see why we weren't having kids yesterday. he's given me the results this morning, right after you left.

the woman holds out the folded paper, a little crumpled from being kept between the layers of her robes. tang bo takes it, opening it to read what his so-called uncle had diagnosed his wife with. talk about elder butting into a youngster's business for no good reason.

this...

he says that i'm barren.

she looks down with a small smile,and it looked a little bitter. of course, how could she not be? after all that had happened those few years back?

to say that she's unable to carry a child after all she had gone through back then was such a cruel prank from the heavens. he knows his wife wanted to be a mother more than anything, to give that little baby all her love in the world or along those sentiments — as did he. so if that's not going to happen... then, what now?

they were silent as they moved their beads across the game board. contemplating their next moves and what to say to the other.

there's crab stick snacks here, you should try some.

as always, she breaks the silence first. grabbing a few sticks of the salty treat to nibble on before handing the container over to her husband. tang bo reached for the food mindlessly, thinking about how nice it'd be to have these with some sweet wine.

ah, but his wife wasn't much of a drinker so that's a bummer.

═══════════════

ONLY CHILD

he should have heard the cries of the baby.

it was quiet inside, and out where he was waiting too. the nurses and maids walked out of the room with buckets of soiled, bloody rags with their heads down and mouths drawn into a thin line — something was wrong, something had gone terribly wrong.

tang bo felt his feet move, walking towards the bedroom where the doors were still shut tightly. he weaved past the attendants trying to hold him back, all telling their young master to go back and wait.

wait? why did he have to wait when he didn't know what was happening to his wife right then? she needed him. and she needed him right now.

the midwife slides the door open just as he was about to open it himself. they both take a step back in surprise.

young master... the lady is alive and well. she is waiting inside.

the older woman bowed and scurried away from the scene to join the others in the courtyard outside.

his wife lay on her back on top of fresh bedsheets and a clean nightgown. she had a sickly pallor, lips were chapped dry with red marks of blood from where the skin ripped open. hair that was riddled with sweat stuck onto the sides of her face, the untied tresses splayed over the top of the bed. her eyes were unfocused and blank, staring straight up at the wall, mind elsewhere. her cheeks were still stained with the remnants of her tears, the evidence of what transpired within these four walls.

wife...

tang bo called out cautiously. she didn't respond, barely even moved an inch to acknowledge his presence.

next to her on the bed was a small swaddle, the stillness of what was supposed to be alive unnerved him. the child's dull skin, probably in some shade of grey, eyes that were never to open, oh.

he sits by her bedside, back facing her. he too, did not know what to say to her at that moment. he was the last person that could have possibly comforted her. well, it was his child too but they were both not lovers so this was an offspring born out of necessity rather than a genuine want. and at this point in his life, tang bo wasn't actually too thrilled about the prospect of fatherhood. not that he would resent that kid, it's just he might not have loved them like he should.

his wife, she's mentioned her anticipation of motherhood but once in a while, he'd catch glimpses of the unreadable expression she had when no one was looking — all while she rubs her growing belly. it made him think that perhaps she wasn't always telling the truth.

once there was a patient who had came to the tang estate to treat the growing tumors in his intestines and since he was a rather important guest, most of the members of the main family, the two of them included, had dropped by to greet him and wish him well for recovery. tang bo could never forget the intensity of her absent gaze at the patient's stomach, her balled fist tightening over her shawl ever so slightly.

perhaps it's good that she's dead.

tang bo feels his eyebrows rise up in shock.

you're not too keen on fathering a child either, are you?

he shakes his head.

well, that makes the two of us. the heavens must be looking out for her, keeping her away from parents like us who can't give her the love she needs.

his wife sighed deeply. her tired face falling to the side to look at him, a lopsided smile making its way onto her lips as if to ease the heavy tension of her words away. she might be right. perhaps, it was better this way. tang bo closes her eyes with his palm, patting her to sleep the way one would with a feverish child.

their daughter would later be the two's first and only child.

═══════════════

SWORDSMAN

the woman wondered how one-sided her husband's relationship with his friend was. the man was a rather expressionless fellow — his sentences were short, curt and straight to the point. her husband didn't seem to mind, with now he was almost always all over that man. ah well, she's just happy tang bo has an actual friend.

rather than worry that he was drunk off his rocker out on the streets past midnight doing who-knows-what in who-knows-where, at least now he's causing trouble with someone she could easily track. apperently, the man was a troublemaker in his own home too.

the first time she met the older sect brother of her husband's friend, they shared a look of silent understanding. ah, so you too have an oversized child to deal with.

watching tang bo come home staggering on his feet together with the man, leaning on the other for support used to riddle her with worry but now she just ushers them both into a spare room prepped with the necessary herbs to concoct a hangover remedy and hope for the best. her husband was a capable man, he would never let himself falter and die in a ditch.

in hindsight, she might have been too confident in his abilities.

the swordsman was the best thing to have happened to her husband. and it was not an exaggeration by any means. not when he looked at his happiest for the first time since she'd known him. even if they were both past their fifties and sixties.

how nice. she thinks to herself whenever she spots them together. to find your other half, your kindred spirit in this word before you died... it must be nice.

she can't find it in her to be bitter. really.

═══════════════

FIRST CHIPPING

if he were to look at what society deemed as a bastard husband, then that requisite would have had his face plastered as a prime example. the type of husband that any aspiring groom should not ever become.

though for those who were in the know, mainly his wife and himself, there was more to their marriage than what everyone saw. it didn't take long for either of them to recognise that this union had been a discreet way for them to hide away from what kids like them were supposed to act like in this rigid society.

they've stuck by each other as the only people who would have understood each other the best. so now that tang bo was finally finding the happiness he should have sought after all this time, he was always feeling the guilt of leaving her behind on her own in that house that had always been too big for just the two of them.

she has yet to utter a word of displeasure to him. that's how she was — the quiet one who kept to herself, letting things happen until the worst had passed over. it was one of the little things he detested about his wife.

he can't bring himself to really hate her. there was a time when he had opened up his heart and confided in her about some things he's been scared to come to terms with. the type of realisation one has from a very early age and has buried deep within themselves to fit into society and the expectations people had of him.

his wife had held onto his hand wordlessly, squeezing it ever so often to assure his nerves. he's never been this vulnerable before. he never thought things like this could be so frightening.

she had something to say too. but not right now. this was his moment, she's not so tactless to take it away. she can't stop thinking that if they'd been more honest earlier, then perhaps they wouldn't have hurt the other unknowingly all these years.

the walls they'd built between them were starting to come down a little — who would have thought they'd find out something new after decades of marriage.

═══════════════

COMING TO TERMS

she couldn't really understand why her husband was loudly crying into her shoulder. her good robes were getting wet from his tears and snot. how did this almost seventy-year-old man have no shred of shame — in front of the attendants no less?

she had given him her blessings earlier today, and he was now free to pursue the swordsman so why was he not going off to sweep his beloved off his feet and ride off into the sunset or whatever those romance novels say?

wife, you know you aren't obligated to be bound to me any more right? if you wish, you are also free to love someone else...

tang bo managed to say between sobs.

...thank you for your consideration.

she hesitated. what did he mean by her being free to love someone else? she can't think of a time when she'd ever felt that kind of emotion, at least not the one that every person around her was chasing after, even back when she was in her youth.

there was always a disconnect whenever the other wives she'd corresponded with ranted and raved about their husband's infidelities or little annoyances. they were always on the verge of hysteria, driven to that point out of love for their husbands they said. and she'd think about how foolish it was.

thank goodness her relationship with tang bo had not been built on a foundation that flimsy. rather, it was one based on mutual respect. which was far better—

ah but. he must have felt trapped in this marriage. not everyone in the world was like her. not everyone had been born with the inability to be like everyone else and it was unfair how they all just instinctively know what romance and lovers-love is. so to have held him back in this loveless situation for this long was a cruel thing.

the good wife, the understanding wife, the kindhearted wife. it's all that she's been the majority of her life. she doesn't know what else there was to her now that she's let-go of these titles. she's free to do what she wants. but what does a caged bird set free know?

she had packed lightly, the clothes on her back were lighter and less showy, the stark opposite of what she used to wear as the daughter-in-law of the tang family. there was not much hesitation as she donned the weimao — it's white veil falling past her knees. she looked at the darkened courtyard of their estate.

she's received enough goodwill in this lifetime. she prayed at the ancestral shrine one last time, asking them to look after everyone now that she's going off.

═══════════════

MORNING AFTER

tang bo awoke to the frantic bustle of the maids outside his room. turns out his wife had gone missing overnight without anyone noticing. he walked out of his room, wandering around the family estate until he reached the main halls where it was quieter. no one was allowed in here outside of events except for the elders and the main family.

he picks up the tattered note that had fluttered to his feet — eyes widening as he takes in the words written on it.

tch, that woman could still pull some tricks at her old age huh. he didn't think she'd still know how to surprise him. the paper was burned away on a candle flame. he wonders if he'd see his wandering wife on his travels with his taoist-hyung. would they all share a drink at the teahouse when they do? oh he hoped so. there's not much things to look forward to at this age, so at least give him some stories and a meal.

ah. he should let his taoist-hyung know about this too. before it slipped out of that old head of his.

#enihkwrites #rotbb #rotmhs #return of the mount hua sect #return of mount hua #return of the blossoming blade #dang bo #tang bo #return of the blossoming blade x reader #return of the mount hua sect x reader #dang bo x reader #tang bo x reader #gonna be real with you idk why i even wrote this #idk how i even had the idea to write this #it's more like a “tb was definitely married so how would that rls go with him and his potential wife”#*shakes the fic* pspspspspsps come get your fix loves

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chunkymamatam · 7 months ago

Note

Yooo when you have time, tell me about your JJK, Obey Me and Apothecary Diaries DRs (Just the basics like how it's been and maybe some interesting interractions, if you want)!!!! They're absolute favourite fandoms!! Also, what happened in TBHK lol???

-Reena

Yeah sure!

So what happened in TBHK was I could see ghosts and I made eye contact with Tsukasa’s little ass and that mfer scares me so I pretended like I didn’t see him but he started chasing me down “I KNOW YOU SAW ME” Bro I’ve never run faster 😭 that shit was wild and I’m never going back. He’s gonna get me LMFAO

JJK

Now Let me tell you the funny story of why I was even going JJK… In short I wanted to get down and dirty with Sukuna, I didn’t know how but I assumed I was gonna somehow get into his domain, preferably just appearing there. I fully didn’t intend to survive this encounter. I was like alright if I appear there he’s either gonna kill me on the spot or I’m gonna have 2 seconds to give this man the funniest offer he’s had in centuries

then after that if he accepts he’d kill me after… That did NOT happen. I woke up walked outside and started roaming wondering how imma get this done and mfing Satoru Gojo start following me saying “hey you” LMFAO I RAN

this man was gonna get in my god damn way. And he did. He cornered me at a dead end and said “you done running?”

“Yes”

“Cool can you see this thing.”

“Yes”

“Cool cool. You have a really abnormal amount of cursed energy. You should really be dead right now I don’t know how you’re still walking. Come on.”

and long story short we ended up neighbors. I know he has an actual place so idk why he got the apartment next to mine but here we are.

Obey Me

For Obey Me let me just tell you how I ended up in the Devildom for now because shit was so wild I stg. I woke up in my bed and I thought I just didn’t shift and I sighed, wanting to just go tf back to sleep at that point and all of a sudden my door bursts open and there’s Diavolo, Barbatos and Lucifer’s big asses.

“CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING INTO RAD! YOU’RE ON AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO THE DEVILDOM!”

AND THEN THEY CASTED A SLEEP SPELL ON ME AND THE LAST THING I HEARD WAS “oh goodness she’s naked”

I sleep naked. I could cry from embarrassment rn. If I knew I was gonna start that DR like that I would’ve put clothes on. I didn’t even have enough time to process what was going on. The first thing they knew about me wasn’t my voice, or my awkward mannerisms. No. It had to be that I sleep booty butt naked. My ego? Crushed. My self-esteem? Left the building.

Apothecary Diaries

In my Apothecary Diaries DR everyone thought I was mute because I refused to talk to them. The workers were even bitchier in person. They fr bullied tf out of me for being fat(not surprised), having moles and feckless, being tan(my camera takes my color unfortunately 😭), etc. So I just straight up wouldn’t talk to them. The only ones who knew I could talk were the Eunuchs who brought me to the palace and Jinshi for a good while lmfao. And I didn’t even talk to him fr for a good while(not bitching it’s just funny). Then the whole fight between the Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua happened and Maomao was speculating so I pulled her aside and confirmed for her. It’s funnier because she was like “You can talk???” Like yes girl I just hate these bitches.

Then she asks me why I didn’t say anything if I knew to which I had to explain that I was bought from a foreign country and they weren’t gonna listen even if I did. Girl was flabbergasted. Love her she’s great. Nah we got called into a meeting with the rest of the workers by Jinshi and he held up two signs, one in Chinese one in English cuz I can’t read the characters 😭 by the time Maomao realized that I was trying to get her to come with me cuz this was about the two of us. To be fair tho even if I had run without her it’s really obvious when I’m reading something so he would’ve got my ass anyway LMFAO Lady Gyokuyou kept us both, me because when her and Lady Lihua were fighting I was like “Gyat Damn.” And I quote “I have made the mute speak and now you are mine.” She’s so sweet.

I need to go back to one of these places soon I miss it a lot when I talk about it.

#shifting realities #shifting to desired reality #reality shifter #shifting antis dni #shifting blog #shifting community #reality shifting #shifting consciousness #shifting stories #reality shift #shiftblr #shiftinconsciousness #shifters #shifting motivation #shifting diary #shifting to obey me #shifting to my dr #shifting to JJK #shifting to The Apothecary Diaries

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sabraeal · 15 days ago

Text

To Taste of the Bitter Plant

[Read on AO3]

Written for @aeroplaneblues, who this year asked for either an Apothecary Diaries AU or a Skip to Loafer AU, and both of us could barely choose between them. Both were highlights of 2024 for us, and had their own unique challenges adapting them for obiyuki...but Apothecary Diaries won out! I just hope it was worth the wait!

Beware the men beyond the gates. Shirayuki can count on her hands the number of times the Virtuous Consort has betrayed her disgust— saved, for the most part, for traitors, improperly prepared sea perch, and the antics of a particular foreign prince— but her eyes narrowed with it then, contempt just barely concealed behind the wave of her fan. Soldiers think that any woman is theirs to take, so long as some other man hasn’t marked her first. And even then…

Shirayuki does not need the consort to finish the thought to take the warning. She knows only too well about men and their desires. And the sorts of things they might do to sate them, if they have the power.

But it is strange to apply knowledge gleaned from the darkest shadows of the flower district to the outer court's gleaming pavilions.

Whispers do eddy in her wake, men stopping to stare as she passes— did you see that? A girl with red hair. Outside the harem? She must belong to someone! If she were mine, I’d never let her out of the house— but none reach out to touch. Not here, where powerful men might bring a beloved concubine. But their interest is palpable, nonetheless, and their desire…

Ah, well, maybe she should have covered her head, as Mitsuhide has suggested. Or dressed herself up as a eunuch, like the Virtuous Consort. Or accepted a more visible sign of her allegiance, the way Zen had hoped.

Shirayuki lifts her fingers, shifting the slender stick speared through her hair. It’s silver— true silver, warming beneath her touch; even if the soldiers don’t recognize the wisteria blooming at one end, they’ll mark that. Few men could afford such a gift, and none of them are worth crossing; for all that the army men are rough, swaggering over the cobbles of the outer court, they are easily dissuaded from misbehavior that might damage their prospects. Nothing like the ones that stalk the alleys of the red light district, turned away from every reputable establishment. Entitlement, it seems, is an entirely different beast than desperation.

Still, it is at a brisk pace that Shirayuki strides across the pavilion; not that of a timid girl hurrying from one task to the next, but an officious maid on some important man’s business— which she is, technically. How far Zen’s name might reach outside the walls of the Inner Palace, she couldn’t say, but it might be enough to give a pushy man pause. Eunuchs rarely ranked highly among the men of the military, but a favorite of the emperor himself…

Do not make yourself beholden to any man, Yeye had told her, a finger waggling as she chased his heels. The only power you have in this world is that which you make with your own two hands.

Those same hands clench now, nails digging into the flesh of her palms before they release, falling away to float at her side. There’s nothing grasped within them yet, but that would change. Starting today, so long as she doesn’t disappoint Ryuu shi fu.

The carriage waits for her at the outer gate, just as Zen said it would. Windows shuttered, nondescript; the sort of conveyance that could be for any man who might be found wandering the outer pavilion. Her nerves balk as she approaches, begging her to remember the last time she’d been thrown on a cart, sent to places unknown—

But, she counters, forcing her breath to come out even, steady. That is how I ended up here.

It’s not much, but it's enough to get her through the door.

One of my men will be waiting there, Zen had promised, smile as soft as the brazier’s glow. Knowing you, Apothecary, you’ll need someone to watch your back. Close as he was, she’d already been flushed, the attention of the Inner Palace’s Overseer at his finest overwhelming to say the least. But she’d pitched a spirited protest— reminding him of her previous independence, and her many years living in a far more dangerous city for girls like her than he could ever imagine. Which had only led to him reminding her that in their short tenure together she has been kidnapped twice and the object of a potential assassination once.

Shirayuki allowed that perhaps a single guard might not go amiss. She could hardly complain when Mitsuhide was as circumspect a companion as any could ask for, never getting underfoot and only stepping in when the word of the Overseer would carry farther than her own. For all that he was as sweet as a young lady’s lapdog, officials quivered before him like hares before a hound. If she needed a minder, there were certainly worse for Zen to saddle her with

Which is why it’s such a surprise when he does.

“It’s you,” is the first thing to fall out of her mouth, and she just barely bites back the accompanying, why?

“I should introduce myself.” The man in court blue is not Mitsuhide at all— no, he’s smaller, more slender, with an all-too familiar set of gold eyes set below a straight-edged scar. The hand pressed to his chest is not so much callused as nicked, small scrapes striping his skin that healed less from proper attention and more from time. “I’m Obi. That’s not my real name though”— he admits it easily, proudly— “and everything else about me is a secret.”

She stands there for a moment, one beat chasing the heels of the next, before she stumbles out, “There must be some sort of mistake.”

“So what’s this little side trip all about anyway?” They’d left the sedan shuttered in the palace, saving her from the prying eyes of soldiers and court officials, but once they’re out on the city streets, Obi opens them, propping an elbow up up the sill. He’s long-limbed, this former assassin of hers, and curious too, head craning out into the open air as far as his anatomy will allow. “Some official got knocked off or something?”

“I don’t know the particulars of his position,” she informs him, primly. “But it’s someone important enough that Zen isn’t willing to record the cause of death as misadventure without some form of inquiry.”

It’s not until she catches the twitch of his mouth that she realizes— “Ah, I mean, Zen liang jun…?”

“Don’t worry, xiao jie.” One side of his mouth slips up, cocky and, quite honestly, infuriating. “Zhu ren has seen fit to explain that whole situation. Don’t gotta bother trying to act all formal in front of me. Honestly, I’m impressed that an attendant like you is interested in a little liaison with His Most Esteemed Eunuch-ness, even though he doesn’t have all the necessary equipment to get you—”

Warmth burns up her neck, heating her tongue like a hob does a kettle until, “And you’re sure Zen asked you to watch over me?” shrills out of her, scalding as steam.

“He even said I might be useful.” His chest puffs up beneath his robes, not one to be daunted or damned by faint praise. “But what about you, xiao jie? Seems funny to send off some consort’s food taster to solve the sort of thing a court official does.”

“I have some knowledge of medicinal plants.” An understatement, to say the least, but it’s not as if her former assassin needs to know about her apprenticeship. He probably wouldn’t even believe that a small eunuch child could be a master physician, let alone that she would permit him to act as her mentor. “There is a saying— perhaps you have heard it? The dose makes the poison.”

“That’s one way to think about it, I guess.” Her bodyguard is constant motion, eyes crinkling and limbs shifting; a whole theater packed into a person so narrow he might slip through the floorboards. “So what d’you think it is? Wolfsbane? Cinnabar? Maybe even snake—?”

“Fish.”

That’s enough to quiet him; all of his theories drying up like a stream in summer. “…Fish?”

“Pufferfish, to be exact.” She smooths her skirts over her knees, cotton a luxury against her palms. “It’s a delicacy. And if it’s not cut and served in precisely the right fashion, poison from its organs can leak into the flesh.”

He blinks, eyes flashing like coins across knuckle-back. “And rich people pay to eat it?”

“Yes.” Funny to hear a man like him balk at a risk to his life, but well— she’d thought the same when Garrack explained it to her.

They only prepare the fish? Even now she remembers how she sat back on her heels, utterly stymied. Nothing else?

How amused Garrack yi sheng must have been when she shook her head, knowing the sort of opulence the Emperor had at his own table. You have to remember: people with that much money and power live in a different world from us regular folk, Shirayuki.

Still. The protest even now sat bitter on her tongue. That hardly seems reasonable. Don’t they have some sort of common sense?

Garrack’s mouth had twitched, letting out, Not a lick of it.

“They pay quite a lot to not only eat it, but to have someone on their staff that is trained to prepare it," she informs him with the same briskness Garrack yi sheng had imparted it to her, as if it were common knowledge, an unquestionable truth.

“Even though they’re only going to eat it every one and a while?” He lets out a whistle, long and low. “That’s rich people for you. All the money in the world and they can’t buy themselves a bit of common sense.”

Shirayuki smothers a smile behind her sleeve. “Maybe so.”

It is a man that greets them at the door, well dressed for a servant, but head bowed too deeply to be the master of the estate. “My mistress has taken to her bed,” he explains briskly, not rude but simply busy. Harried, almost, pausing to look over his shoulder before leading them down a spacious corridor. “So it is I that will act as your guide for the day.”

“Is she feeling all right?” Shirayuki hurries her steps, careful not to draw insultingly close, but— interested. Concerned. “Is she having ill effects from the dinner? Should I look at her after I finish—?”

“Ah, no. Liera niang niang does not partake of the Master’s more…unique dinners.” His hand lifts, politely waving off her concern. “She is only fatigued from the strain of his passing. We are lucky that his brother was visiting and could take over the running of the house, or else I might fear for her nerves. She is not a strong woman, I am afraid…”

“How fortunate for you that your master’s brother was already here.” Obi’s smile sits politely on his lips, but there’s not a drip of sincerity in it. “It couldn’t have all fallen together better if he planned it.”

There’s no use to the warning glance she gives him, not when the servant only nods, eager to agree. “So you say! I cannot imagine what ills might have befallen us with both master and mistress unable to perform their duties. Now here is the kitchen. It has not been used since”— his voice drops, wary— “the incident.”

But it has been tidied, Shirayuki can’t help but notice. The cooking utensils are all clean and in their proper place, and whatever was left over from the fish has been tossed out. Not that she can blame them; fish guts didn’t just smell as they ripened, they lingered, long after the mess has been taken away. But what she's left with is only washed counters and organized shelves, jars and bottles sitting neatly, ready to be plucked from their perch when needed.

A fine place for cooking, no doubt, but for an investigation— well, there’d be no proving if it was the fish that caused the Master’s unfortunate demise. Which means she’ll have to approach it from the other angle: assuming that it wasn’t.

“Do you know what this is?” The jar falls into her hands with a rattle, four oblong berries skittering across the glass. Rolling them to a corner, she can see the four-point star on one of them, stark even through the deep amber drink.

Obi’s mouth curls, like a cat who has caught sight of an unwary bird. “It’s booze, xiao jie. Good stuff, with how clear it is.”

He lifts the lid, and the pungent scent of liquor rolls over her, metallic in her mouth. And yet beneath that, something sweet. “That’s not what I was asking.”

“Ah!” The servant bustles over, replacing the lid with a smile. “That’s roka liquor, Master’s favorite. He enjoys it— ah, forgive me, he enjoyed it frequently.”

“Frequently? Are you sure?” The sting of the scent still lingers, even after the man’s tucked it back on the shelf. “I hadn’t realized it was so…popular.”

“It isn’t.” Pride puffs his chest like a rooster strutting through a hen house. “Master is— ah, was a connoisseur of rarer delicacies. An associate introduced him to it just a few months ago, and he could not get enough of the taste. He always said—

“What is going on here?” If Shirayuki had thought the servant finely dressed, the man at the door is even more so, the green silk of his robe bright and finely embroidered with waterfowl flying from a pond. The master’s brother, it seems, scowling at the lot of them as he sweeps in. His eyes dart over each corner, accounting for every last spoon out of place. “No one is allowed to enter the kitchen without permission.”

“Ah, zong guan.” The servant cast a nervous look back at them before bowing over his hands. “These are…ah, you remember, we were told—?”

“So you let them in?” The man does not so much approach as descend, falling upon the servant the way a hound might a quivering hare. “Off the street? I told you that no one—”

Obi steps between them in one smooth motion, one hand pressed solicitously to his chest. “Pardon me, da ren, it seems you have not heard. We are part of the palace’s investigation into the death of your brother.”

His brow furrows, fouling his already sour expression. “Well, no one informed me that there was any inquiry! I certainly didn’t request one.”

Her former assassin’s smile turns to all teeth. “The request came from Liera niang niang.”

“Leira—?” The man sputters, practically pacing the length of the room before turning back and beginning again. “That woman! I am the master of this house in my brother’s absence—”

“Xiao jie.” Obi turns to her, voice low, all of his levity gone. “Do you need more time?”

She does not need to hear him say it to know he really means, this man is not going to give us it if you do.

With one last look at the jar, its cloying scent still caught in her nose, she shakes her head.

“Good,” he murmurs, mouth curling into a wolfish grin. “Then let’s get out when the getting is still good.”

“So you’re telling me it wasn’t the fish?”

The Virtuous Consort is not famed for her mobility of expression, but there is a hint of amusement lingering in its corners as Zen throws himself back in one of her chairs, disgruntled huff exploding from his lips. “There’s no need to be petulant. One cannot be an expert in every subject”

“I didn’t say I had to be,” he snaps, arms folding over his chest; less like a man of authority and more like a put out young lord. “I just thought…well, I’d been so sure…”

“It was not the fish that led to the death of your acquaintance.” Shirayuki glances at Obi, and he slips a clear glass bottle out from his voluminous sleeve, setting it on the table. It is quickly followed by another, this time tinted brown, and well— she’ll be giving him a firm talking to about just what is appropriate to take from the medical office later, but for now, his act of petty theft only aids her explanation. “However, there was something else at his table that was dangerous enough to take a life.”

Obi places down two shallow cups— she hadn’t seen him pocket those either, nor had the Virtuous Consort, by the height of her brows— and pours liquor into both of them. “Both of these bottles contain roka liquor, but only one of them is from the estate, and the other is from the medical office.”

“Oh.” Zen grimaces; a sure sign that it’s been pressed on him before. Hardly a surprise when Garrack calls it her favorite cold remedy. “Why would he have this hanging around? It’s not really the season for coughs or colds.”

“His servant said that a business associate had brought him a bottle a few months ago to serve with dinner.” She glances up to where Zen lounges, one hand propped on the chair’s arm, casually cupped around chin. “Leira zong guan developed quite a taste for it.”

That careless posture cracks down the middle with a splutter. “T-that stuff? A taste? Was he some sort of glutton for punishment or something?”

“I admit, I was surprised too.” Few medicines had such enthusiastic receptions. Effective ones, at least. “It’s used often in the medical office, but it’s known for having a bitter, astringent taste. Unpleasant, to say the least. But after having it with his dinner, he bought a whole case of bottles off of his associate, to serve when he has his more…unique meals.”

“All right, so Leira clearly had odd tastes when it comes to his liquor.” Zen frowns down at the cups on the table, thoughtful. “But what does that have to do with his death?”

“Plenty. Although it might seem like a relatively easy process, fermenting roka berries is much harder than it seems.” She hefts one of the bottles into her hands, letting the berries rattle along the bottom of the glass. “Any alcohol has the ability to turn to poison if it’s brewed the wrong way, but wines— which is what this is, even if we call it liquor— do not often turn. However…there is a component inside these berries that, when fermented under certain conditions, turns to poison.”

He shifts closer, squinting at the bottles. “Under certain conditions?”

Shirayuki sets the two bottles beside each other. “In the first few months after I came here, Ryuu shifu taught me that certain plants are particularly potent at certain times of day. For the roka berry, its potency is at its highest at the brightest part of the day. However, we pick it in the morning, at dawn’s first light.”

Zen’s smile slants knowingly. “Ah, because that is when the poison would be at its most potent as well.”

“Exactly. Which is why we store them in a cellar underground during their fermentation—”

“And used these darker bottles too, right, xiao jie?” Obi plucks it from her hand, grinning as he lets the berries rattle across the glass. “So even when you take them up to the office, you aren’t letting them get a bunch of light.”

She blinks. “Yes. Though truth be told, even that probably wouldn’t be enough to activate the poison. Despite being called a berry, the outer skin is hard, and it makes it difficult for anything but the medicinal oils to diffuse into the alcohol for some time. But it is common with wines that when a first fermentation comes out too astringent, you may ferment it a second time— back sweetening, it’s called. Quite literally, it makes the wine sweeter.”

“So roka liquor doesn’t have to taste like bile?” The betrayal in Zen’s voice lays thick, like a child who has found a sliver of green pepper hidden in his dumpling.

“No, no, xiao jie— you said that the skin makes it hard for anything but the oils to get out for some time.” Obi glances down at the cups. “And that back sweetening, I’m guessing— that’s past the point where the poison decides to sit this one out.”

Shirayuki nods. “The skin breaks down enough over the process where the costs begin to outweigh the benefits. Also not enough on its own to kill a man, but…”

“But between the sweetening…and the clear glass…probably not fermented in some cellar anyway…” Zen stares at the table, glancing between the two bottles, no longer sitting behind their cups. “Which one…?”

She grimaces. “Ah…whichever one is sweet?”

“Welp,” Obi huffs, swaggering over to the table. “Only one way to find out!”

Shirayuki might be next to him, but he scoops up a cup too quickly for her to do anything but gasp, “Wait!”

“Huh,” he hums, licking his lips. “That is a little sweet, isn’t it?”

Mitsuhide is already scrambling out from behind Zen’s chair, pounding the other eunuch on the back. “Obi!”

“Shirayuki!” Zen turns wide eyes to her, pleading, but he hardly needs to ask, not when she’s already digging through her bag.

“I have an emetic,” she promises, and before she can even fully hold it out, Mitsuhide sweeps it from her grasp.

“No wait!” Obi gasps, one hand pressed to his chest, the other warding the bigger man off. “I’m only—“

It’s no use— once he opens his mouth, Mitsuhide pours the concoction down it, leaving him coughing, gasping, retching—

And finally, with one generous heave, he empties the contents of his stomach into the basin one of the consort’s ladies hurry to give him. He must have had a larger lunch than she’d seen him pick at on their way back to the palace; it goes on for what feels like hours.

It’s the cough that tells her he’s done, and the deadpan glare as he wipes the back of his hand over his mouth. “I was going to say, zhu ren,” he rasps. “I was joking.”

“You…” Zen stands, towering over where he crouches, more angry god than man. “Have a terrible sense of humor.”

“Yeah, well…” Obi saws out a laugh. “Takes one to know one, I guess.”

“So.” The Virtuous Consort sets her mask aside once Zen and his aides have left, no longer the stand- offish daughter of the north, but just a normal girl, not much older than her. “What weren’t you telling them?”

“I wasn’t” —she draws short, catching Kiki’s pointed glare— “trying to keep anything from them, not really.”

“Of course. You just won’t tell them anything that might condemn a man if you’re not certain.” Her head tilts, the stream of sunlight that passes for her hair cascading over one shoulder. “So what is it that you aren’t certain about? Or shall I guess instead?��

Shirayuki glances at the corners of the room; empty, her other attendants handily dismissed. Other girls might duck around an archway or press their ears to the door, but if those ladies linger, they have at least done her the dignity of being impossible to detect.

“Why now?”

Kiki blinks, her slippered feet tucked into the cushion beneath her. “What do you mean?”

“His servant said that he had acquired a taste for it. And certainly a back sweetened brew would have held poison, but…” She licks her lips, mind churning like running water over stone. “The other bottles there— they were brown. Still not safe, but…a slower death. So why then. Why…?”

“The clear bottle.” Kiki nods, thoughtful. “Why now?”

“It was a gift from his brother.” She’d barely needed to press the servant at all; simply praising the fine vintage as he saw them out to the carriage was enough. “But where could he have gotten it? Apothecaries typically brew their own, if only to know that it’s done properly. He could have done it on his own but…”

“It’s not the thing a man hoping to be a high ranking court official would dirty his hands with.” Her brows furrow, gaze fixed out to the courtyard beyond. “So the question is, who did?”

“Someone had to have made it— and then given it to him! Told him what it could do, and…” Despite the warmth of the summer months, the night presses in cold around her. “They’re still out there.”

“Ha.” Kiki shakes her head. “Now there’s a thought to keep a person up at night.”

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #apothecary diaries au #my fic #ans #listen i thought long and hard about it because i love jinshi/maomao #and obi would be DELIGHTFUL as the world's hottest man lbr #but his role is to NOT be the most obvious love interest and grow into it #so instead he stands in for Basen #only a thousand times less grumpy #Zen gets to be Jinshi and Mitsuhide is Gaoshun #and Kiki gets to play a consort for reasons that i don't go into in this fic #but are a mix of many things with the consorts. she's got a bit of ah duo and the pedigree of lihua and the part of gyoukuyou #but her position is definitely more like lishu #in any case this is meant to be a one off so NO IDEA if i'll ever come back and flesh out things #it would be INTENSELY funny to do the frog scene with Obi #he'd DIE of embarrassment

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frostfires-blog · 20 days ago

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What are your top 5 (or top 10) favorite media ever (can be anime/manga, tv series, books, movies, games, etc)? Why love them? Thanks ⭐

[ In all honesty, as I was going through my inbox, I was dreading responding to this ask. Not because the question was awful—it's a great question. The problem is that I'm quite indecisive and tend to overthink things. I'm going to attempt to keep this brief because if I allow myself to ramble, it will take me a month to write this post—and by then I'll have changed my mind. (Spoiler Alert: I failed lmao)

As I've already stated, I typically only consume anime/donghua and manga/manhua/manhwa, so my list will be confined to those. I have conflicting feelings about many of the series I've seen, especially those that have ended recently—because, let's be honest, manga endings have been terrible lately (if you know, you know)...

Another issue is that I've been attempting to restructure my top ten because my entire concept of what constitutes a great series has shifted recently. For a long time, I had subconsciously internalised the notion that shoujo/josei series and non-combat-orientated series were inferior to mainstream battle-focused shounen series.

I subconsciously thought that I would be looked down on for including these series in my top 10 over more respected manga. Although it persists to some extent, I was mostly able to get over this after learning about biases in the anime and manga industries on how shoujo versus shounen series are handled and perceived. ]

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Top 10 Favourite Series:

#10 The Apothecary Diaries

This show has captured my attention even though I have only seen the first season. Although Maomao and Jinshi's dynamic is undeniably my favourite part of the series, its complex themes and political intrigue are not to be understated either. Another aspect I like about the series is its unique incorporation of femisism. It uses its rigidly misogynistic historical setting to highlight the subtle strength, ingenuity, and resolve that women rely on to navigate and endure society. Even amongst a society that devalues women and fosters competition among them, we observe women supporting one another and persevering. In this manner the series provides a refreshing standpoint on female empowerment. The adaptation was perfectly executed, as exemplified by its undeniably captivating aesthetics, music, and ambience. I'm eagerly anticipating season 2 and can't wait to see where the series goes.

#09 Link Click

While at first, it may not seem like much, this show has really developed into something refreshingly brilliant thanks to its unique supernatural abilities and ever-increasing stakes. Aside from its unique art style, compelling twists, and captivating storytelling, all of which are refreshingly good, the music is definitely my favourite part of this show, as it is carefully crafted to complement the narrative. The dynamic between our two leads is incredibly endearing and heartbreaking. The symbolism is incredibly intricate and complex and is intertwined masterfully into every aspect of its production—most notably its character designs, music, and visuals. Every episode leaves you on the most stressful cliffhanger of your life, leaving you eager for more.

#08 Mo Dao Zu Shi

My favourite part of this series is that there are so many different mediums to experience it through, with each one providing a slightly different experience. While the novel and Donghua are my personal favourite adaptations, the C-drama was very entertaining as well. I hope to be able to experience the manga, manhua and audio drama adaptations as well. Its story and characters are so intricate and multi-faceted that trying to describe them in such a short paragraph would be laughable, so I'll refrain from doing so. This series combines action, mystery, and romance with complex themes and vibrant characters. MDZS is unquestionably the most exceptional MXTX novel in the field of world-building. The story is set in an intricately crafted world in which historic customs, mystical abilities, and martial arts intersect, with each setting playing a critical role in the development of the characters and their journeys. This was the first series I watched featuring a canonical M/M main pairing that also possessed a robust and compelling plot beyond the romance, which I greatly appreciated. The heart of the series is its compelling cast of characters. WangXian's dynamic is the foundation of the series and is undeniably one of my favourite aspects of it. Their contrasting personalities are deftly counterbalanced by their similar ideals and shared passion for protecting others. Their relationship is an attestation of the enduring power of love and is centred on the themes of transformation, loyalty, and sacrifice. The series addresses a variety of complex themes, including enduring love, filial piety, vengeance, justice, acceptance, redemption, forgiveness, corruption, morality and perseverance despite adversity. The most apparent themes in the narrative are social prejudices, the interplay between perceptions and actuality as well as the dichotomy between good and evil.

#07 Kimetsu No Yaiba

Inexplicably, this series is both exceedingly popular and heavily criticised. It is generally critiqued for its simplistic story, but I believe it exemplifies how simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. People often fixate on its stunning animation and thrilling battles, overlooking its powerful emotional narratives and seamless integration of complex themes. The series centres around themes such as the importance of family, coping with loss, and maintaining resilience and determination in the face of adversity. That said, my favourite theme in the series is how it highlights the significance of compassion and empathy, even amidst extenuating circumstances. This is a vital lesson that reminds us that we are all capable of demonstrating compassion and empathy to others within reasonable limits. Alongside its compelling narrative and dynamic battles, KNY's eclectic ensemble of well-developed characters stands out—thanks to their distinct designs and motivations—lending depth and complexity to the series.

#06 Akatsuki No Yona

Although YOTD seems like another archetypal historical romance about a princess on the run��there is so much more to this series. YOTD is a masterful blend of romance, adventure, and drama. The series deftly reworks conventional tropes and integrates them into its intricate, fantastical setting. YOTD's multi-layered narrative and its profound character arcs—in addition to the depth of themes it addresses—set it apart from comparable series. The manga incorporates various heavy themes into its narrative—such as betrayal, vengeance, inequality, power struggles, and the connection between privilege and ignorance. It also covers more hopeful themes—such as camaraderie, courage, and the enduring power of love. YOTD's primary strength is its remarkable character development. Each of the series' characters is thoughfully constructed to embody several themes that add to the plot, while every one of their interactions helps to advance other characters.

#05 Boku No Hero Academia

Although this series mostly garnered popularity from its compelling plotline and flashy fight sequences—its greatest assets are its well-developed core cast, significant emotional resonance, and nearly seamless integration of deep and heavy themes. Despite the series' initially light-hearted and hopeful tone, its stakes are deftly heightened by introducing darker symbolism and more intense conflicts. Its later seasons highlight the complex nature of heroism along with the obstacles encountered by both heroes and villains—thereby differentiating it from other series in the superhero genre. Some of my favourite themes that the series highlights are identity/self-discovery, the nature of heroism, power/responsibility, sacrifice/redemption as well as the importance of having bravery in face of adversity. The series' astute use of imagery, metaphors, and narrative subtext enhances thematic and character development, augmenting its symbolic value and rendering it more engaging and captivating.

#04 Fruits Basket

Fruits Basket has an unparalleled charm thanks to its unique blend of drama, humour and romance. This series has become a staple in the shoujo genre due to its profound character depth, compelling narrative, and immense emotional resonance. A web of multilayered character dynamics forms the foundation of Fruits Basket—where characters are not merely utilised as narrative devices, but portray the subtleties of human emotions, relationships, and development. It is precisely because the series' characters reflect real-life issues that we are able to empathesize and relate to them. The series' capacity to engage in meaningful discussions on profound concepts and convey insightful messages is the primary reason it resonates with its fans. The series weaves a variety of profound themes into its narrative, including loss, acceptance, transformation, healing, love, societal expectations, parental alienation, familial connections, and the cyclical nature of life. The series' emotional impact is established by incorporating the aforementioned themes—which not only enhance its complexity but also foster introspection and empathy within its fans.

#03 Naruto + Naruto Shipudden

Regardless of its shortcomings, detractors cannot dispute that the Naruto series has significantly influenced pop culture—evolving the animanga industry and influencing audiences on a global scale. The series' popularity stems from its complex storytelling, emotional depth, large multi-faceted cast and exploration of profound themes. To this day, the Naruto series continues to be relevant, having cemented itself as a cornerstone in the history of the animanga industry. The series has not only inspired numerous creators, but it has also played a significant role in the integration of anime and manga into global mainstream pop culture. The themes addressed in the series add greatly to its narrative depth and resonance—not only enhancing audience engagement but also providing them with valuable lessons. Some typical themes explored by the series are friendship, personal growth, and perserverence admidst adversity. While some of its more profound themes include the vegeance, redemption, the cycle of hatred, the reprecussions of war and conflicting ideals of peace. The series employs these themes to not only enhance its character arcs and layer its narrative—but also to encourage its audience to contemplate their implications within human interactions, historical contexts and the systems of society. The series' continuing relevance as a pivotal reference for analysis and discussion is a direct result of the adept integration and complexity of these themes. Another essential component of the series is its character development which not only drives the narrative but also enables viewers to empathise with its characters. Throughout the series, we encounter an array of compelling characters whose development and interactions significantly contribute to the series' depth and appeal. Considering that this series was a significant part of my childhood, it will always hold a special place in my heart. I practically grew up alongside its characters, which has made their hardships, conundrums and triumphs all the more personal. Given this was the first anime series I completed, it was the catalyst for my current passion for anime and manga.

#02 Gintama

Let me go off script and say that I know this series' length is off-putting to a lot of people—but I promise it is absolutely worth it... Though I wouldn't reccomend this series for everyone. I myself quit this anime about 4 times despite liking the characters. However, I'm glad that something (cough opening 13 cough) convinced me to stick with it—since it has become my favourite anime now. This series is set in a fictionalised version of Japan's Edo period, where aliens have invaded the nation after having defeated its samurai. This bizarre premise serves as the foundation for the show's quirky characters and absurd happenstances. Gintama has made an everlasting impression on the animanga industry due to its distinctive amalgamation of genres, outstanding character development, and capacity to weave together comedic and serious narratives. Gintama is infamous for its comedy. Its ability to parody various sectors of pop culture, including other animanga, is second to none. The series is able to poke fun at both itself and the animanga industry thanks to its satirical take on classic shonen tropes. The series' unapologetic willingness to take risks has contributed towards it becoming a cornerstone in the animanga industry thereby influencing numerous subsequent works. The series also humorously explores an array of social and cultural issues, not only providing entertaining social commentary but also reflecting society, thereby fostering introspection and discourse on a number of topics. This not only enables it to delve deeper into its complex themes but also to surpass conventional anime archetypes. Unexpectedly Gintama is adept at balancing its comedic elements with its profundity, allowing fans to resonate with the series on a deeper level. The series' core themes include resilience, mental fortitude, honour, loss, camaraderie, platonic bonds, and maintaining optimism when confronted with adversity. Gintama's enduring appeal stems from its distinctive, diverse, and colourful ensemble of characters. Their differing personalities, experiences, and peculiarities add to the series' humour, relatability, and complexity. We witness these characters face many obstacles as they grow and evolve thus deepening our connection with them.

#01 Tian Guan Ci Fu

For those unfamiliar, MDZS (ranked as #8 on this list) and TGCF are written by the same author, MXTX—thus, many of my statements there also apply here. Despite consuming almost every adaptation of this series—the novel, the donghua and the manhua—I have never grown tired of it as every rendition presents a novel perspective on the characters and setting and is enlightening in its own right. This series deftly integrates action, comedy, mystery, horror, fantasy and romance—while also drawing inspiration from Chinese culture and mythology, to create a riveting story that draws you in from its start. Although I wouldn't want anyone to value this series solely based on its romance—it is undeniably its most captivating aspect with its main couple being the epitome of devotion, longing and enduring love. Similarly to MDZS, the TGCF donghua is heavily censored when it comes to its romantic dipictions under China's censorship regulations. This becomes especially noticeable when comparing it to Japanese animated BL series. Nevertheless, the production team's meticulous attention to detail ensures that the affection between the main couple remains just as apparent as in the novel. In no other series have I paid as much attention to the characters' movements, expressions, and tones as I did with TGCF. HuaLian's affection for one another is palpable through every held glance, melodic sigh, and subtly delicate touch. Consequently, this meticulous attention to detail allows for a steady build-up—resulting in an immensely authentic and sincere romance. The series' amalgamation of its fantastical setting and mystical elements with Chinese traditions and mythology augments its richness and immersiveness. Furthermore, each song in the donghua is flawlessly crafted to complement each scene—creating the ideal ambiance. The series touches on a multitude of heavy topics providing insightful commentary on social expectations—making it worthwhile for those seeking depth and complexity. Among the themes featured are duty, sacrifice, redemption, vengeance, unconditional love, acceptance, perception as opposed to actuality, and the correlation between free will and fate. One understated feature of the series that I appreciate is its deft deployment of motifs and symbolism to represent characters and their growth as well as to hint at impending plot points. Flowers, colours and other celestial symbols are recurring motifs in the series that add depth to the narrative. It is undoubtably the series' complex characters and intricate character relationships that form the core of TGCF—adding substantially to its allure. Our lead characters are incredibly multifaceted and nuanced, possessing distinct motivations and principles—while remaining charming and endearing. In contrast, each side characters in the series adds complexity and intrigue to the narrative—enriching the series without detracting from the main characters' roles while remaining well-rounded.

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[P.S. Were any of you guys who regularly see my posts surprised by this list? I'm willing to address any questions you have regarding these entries, and I hope it encourages anyone who hasn't seen any of these series to do so. Once again I'm sorry for rambling...Hope this answered your question. ]

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