#idk how i even had the idea to write this

[calocera]

Adding on with some extra things and answers to (probably rhetorical) questions in the tags!

^ Thank you! In my mind, part of the Vorta genetic engineering involved splicing multiple species together rather than just evolving a primate. I posit that their key ancestor was actually a chiropteran mammal (like a bat) rather than a primate! Hence the vestigial wings, hand-feet, ear size and shape, dull eyesight, and tail! When i first watched ds9 my immediate thought was "oh these are bats" because of their ear ribbing and big-but-weak eyes.

^ The sternum being gone is my idea of how their telekinetic powers function! I opine that the telekinesis (that they all have imo, not just eris) is via an organ (at the bottom left part of the drawing) and to expel the blast they need no hard tissue in the way; they have a webby, stiff cartilage mass instead to hold together their chests and wide holes throughout it to allow for the telekinetic blasts to go through.

I gave them two pituitary glands for much of the same reason i gave them most of their doubled aspects: during the cloning process everything wrt growth is expedited and they need fail-safes. So things like hormone production are in overtime until the clones are matured. perhaps one becomes obsolete after maturation idk i didnt think about that part haha.

The three ventricles and atrium are similar kinda, they make blood pumping go way faster during maturation, but also theres other things i had in mind. there is an extra atrium that functions sort of like a kidney or liver; it helps expel toxins and waste from the bloodstream! playing off of the 'vorta are immune to most poisons' thing. So the first atrium is basically a filter before oxygenation. The extra ventricle is one that receives oxygenated blood, allowing for basically double the blood flow throughout the body (also kinda why the lungs are larger) basically the vorta run very pressurized. All that extra heart stuff stops them from being hypertensive at birth lol.

^ i forgor. assume its there and i just omitted it to show the full lung LOL

Some other things I can mention!

I 3d modeled the spine:

I added the bit about vorta being essentially glow in the dark because 1: in lots of shots from the show those damn purple contacts basically glow, and 2: i think that part of the cloning process would have to be monitoring internal development. My idea is that triarylmethane dye is pumped into them throughout the growth process to keep track of development (like how in the medical field people can be injected with or ingest dyes to make tracking things easy). Those dyes stay in their bodies forever and are what make the vorta purple! the specific dyes i had in mind were methyl violet 10B and Rhodamine 123, which are purple and fluoresce, hence their back stretch marks becoming deposits for the fluorescing compound! The marks also have a use being like a barcode that can be scanned to keep track of clone info.

I added a "pouch" in the tonsil that can shoot poison! I had the thought of 'IF a vorta does ingest poisons what happens to them?' and my thought is that they become concentrated and are stored in the tonsils like venom which they can expel or use as defense. weaponized tonsil stones basically

Im really glad people are interested so I WILL share my writing i did to go along with the pictures :) its just a google doc but feel free to peruse my thoughts. I had to keep in a word limit so tbh I have even more i could say lol

LINK

Finally posting this, a speculation on vorta biology!

this was drawn last year for the ‘zine o’biology’ star trek spec bio zine :)

[beastyeastfreak]

sooo,,, if your open to requests,,, can we get some yandere Shadow Milk

If you'd prefer something more specific,,, SM's a fucking freak (/pos) over Y/N to the point even his minions are a bit concerned for Y/N's well being. Meanwhile Y/N is equally as obsessed with "their shadow" and matches Shadow Milks freak perfectly. They just happen to seem "normal" on a surface level so nobody imiditaly realizes how both of them are unhinged

(idk that was the first thing that came to mind, I crave shadow milk content lmao)

Ooooo i like this i kinda went a little off prompt though because i had some fun ideas

Cw and tags: Stalking(mutually done so), obsessive behaviour, yandere behavior, reader is a shy type thats also a yandere, reader uses spells/is a magic cookie or something similar, implied murder / wanting to murder.

🃏 - Creeping behind the shadow of the sun lurked a beast of deceit. Watching over his souljam as a wolf watched a flock of sheep. But as he kept his eye upon the holder, he was drawn to another. A cookie that ensnared the beast, one he had equal if not more interest in. He knew he had to make them his, he knew that they would want to be his too.

🃏 - You were to join Pure Vanilla on his expedition to beast yeast, but three days before your departure you had your nose in books in a grand library deep into the night. You were drawn into a dark hall of bookshelves by the sound of something falling. You end up finding a book with no cover. Reading this book was simultaneously your worst and best decision, it would change the trajectory of your life forever. Inside was detailed myths, tales and legends of one Virtue of Knowledge turned Beast of Deceit. Upon seeing the flipped souljam your mind screamed to tell pure vanilla of your finding, but then when that voice calmed you stopped. For some reason, your mind quieted, and you stared at the page you left on and your thoughts then shifted to “maybe i should read a little more before i tell him…” Thus began reading an entire hefty book in one night and day, no sleep just continuous intaking of knowledge and a thirst for more.

🃏 - You were obsessed, ten pages in and you already had notes started. You weren’t sure if this was an autobiography but it felt so intimately wrote and painted this beast with such worship you couldn’t help but nod along. You weren’t a liar, you weren’t evil and yet you had found yourself utterly infatuated with someone who only wanted to spread misinformation and harm others. There were small segments where he was quoted directly, or where his own writing / stories were added and each time you found yourself sinking further into his words. You examined each stroke of the brush with, frankly creepy, observation. You finished the book the next day around the afternoon, the only thing on your mind? You couldn’t wait to go to beast yeast.

🃏 - You brought the book with you in secret, you had lots of questions and hopefully when Pure Vanilla sorted this out you’d get answers, maybe this beast would even grant you his friendship but you knew it was wishful thinking. You defended your team with all your might, these spores were strong but you were determined. Though as you trekked deeper, it felt like you were being watched, it felt like someone had eyes on you. Even stranger, it seemed like just about everything was trying to get that book out of your bag or get someone to see it. But you were far too possessive of it, if someone knew you bore such information they’d take it! You had to keep it for yourself.

🃏 - Your team is taken in by the Faeries who give the tale of the five beasts, you had heard Shadow Milks tales but not the overarching story. You gazed upon the striking beauty of the Faeries kingdom, and yet this all just felt like the prelude to something more grand. In the footnotes of the book, strangely in different handwriting, it read that Shadow Milk Cookie, referred to as simply ‘master’, would rise from his prison and usher forth endless deceit and entertainment alongside his peers. It took little time for you to finally gaze upon the silver tree he was in. While the others spoke of fear of their return, you stood in silence, one hand on your bag feeling the outline of the book. Your eyes searched where the shiny bark had torn, where they had nearly broke free if not for White Lily cookies vines. You stare into that darkness, and for a moment you swear on the witches two mismatched eyes stare back.

🃏 - Your quietness was interpreted as shyness, you were prone to linger away from crowds so when you wouldn’t speak or stared too long, Pure Vanilla would vouch for you. There was a certain calmness surrounding the group, they were in search of White Lily’s memories but you found yourself watching shadows and searching for eyes. Sometimes as you walked your shadow seemed to shift and change, you swore it did, you swore and yet when you looked directly at it it was yours, who else’s would it be?

🃏 - Words were whispered in your ear beneath another’s speech or when it became quiet. Claws that were not truly there wrapped around your throat and over your eyes and sickeningly sweet lies and deadly promises dripped into your head. Words you couldn’t exactly make out but you understood anyway, someone was watching you, he was quite eager to meet you too.

🃏 - Your group then awakened White Lily, and soon after the silver tree began to fail. Its ancient bindings were no more, no amount of magic would fix it. Discord had spread wildly, the once orderly kingdom now reduced to a circus. The king had relayed his power to the jester to their dismay, but you were over the moon. Shadow milk wasn’t like how he was in the writing, he was better. Unfortunately your team was beginning to hold you back, you wanted to clap at his shows and smile at his jokes but your teams eyes were on you as they were on his.

🃏 - “It feels like his attention has been on you for some time, Y/N…” Pure Vanilla says to you in a moment of relative peace. You had hardly noticed, it felt the same. You begin to realize it felt the same because he had been watching you this entire time, you fluster at the idea. Pure vanilla would continue to warn you and stay closer to you than he normally would, then the next encounter he was near solely looking at you. “I need a volunteer.. lets see, oh how about my biggest fan!” He says and a spotlight is cast upon you, you were brought on stage with strings, held next to him like a puppet. The game he was playing didn’t matter, nor did your friends protests. Your mind had melted as you watched him talk to the crowd, one hand on your beg resting on the side opposite to him. He knew, you knew he knew and that only fueled your interest in him more. His grip was harsh, you begin to understand that perhaps his other half’s closeness to you had caused that. Was it jealousy? You hoped so, you yearned for his attention in that way. After what felt like seconds of staring at him the game was over, you were snatched from his grip and questioned if you were ok. You could only nod, you needed to be that close again.

🃏 - He’d continue to try and reel you in, but soon it was the final round, everyone strung up like puppets. Of course, despite his upper hand, White lily, now guardian of the seal, had bound him to the silver tree once more. Though his ominous warning was evidence enough that you’d be staying in the faerie kingdom much longer. You were giddy at the thought of staying around his presence more, your excitement overwrote your sudden dislike towards the others for casting him away again when you were getting so close! You almost considered stealing their souljams to open it up again but knew it’d be foolish. The thought of saving him and getting rewarded was almost too tempting…

🃏 - You were given a room, Pure vanilla came to tend to your wounds but was surprised at your lack of which. Still, he sat with you and tried to comfort you, you were probably terrified in his eyes, you played along just to get him to leave. Soon night fell, you began to dream then vision came to you. A spire standing tall above the already mighty trees. “You thirst deeply for my knowledge, little fool, lying to your dear friends for me! Im so honored~” his voice whispers from behind you, directly in your ear. Your sight becomes completely dark, now in a black void. You see your room now, you’re standing but your motions aren’t your own. “It can be just us when i get that thief out of the way… all you have to do is obey me,” He whispers further, your hands have strings attached so tight your dough darkens and yet theres no pain. “You dont even want to say no! My, its almost like you’re begging for me to scoop you up and lock you away like a princess in a tower!” You open a map gifted to you by a faerie upon asking for it and begin to mark a path. You try to respond but nothing you say is cohesive, he giggles. The laughter echoes as you begin to awaken in your bed.

🃏 - You don’t need further command, you jump out of bed and get dressed. The mere thought of getting an inkling of Shadow Milks presence was enough. You knew that just leaving in the middle of the night wouldn’t work though. So you make it seem as if you had been taken, ruffling the sheets, spilling a small bit of jam and leaving some of your items. You sneak away and embark on your journey, traversing beast yeast. You were fueled by the thought of seeing him again, feeling him pull you close or feeding you more ideas. You wanted to be enveloped, you wanted to know everything about him and him to know everything about you.

🃏 - Your obsessive knowledge and map created whilst sleep-walking guided you to the spire, by now the sun was poking above the horizon. There was a clear border of the beast’s territory and surrounding wilds. The leaves were cooler in hue, the plant life looked like that of the imagery in his stories, roses littered the white tile path. You followed eagerly, nothing truly mattered anymore you just wanted to appease this shadow mocking your movements, this puppeteer tightening his strings around you when you got too close to another cookie. You wanted those eyes in the shadows to watch you add another note to an already well analyzed book.

🃏 - You dont get a chance to enter the tower, you hear the sound of movement around the spire where the roses grew denser. Curiously, you hug the side of wall and watch from behind a pillar. It was him! He was floating in the field of tangled thorny vines. He plucked a vibrant rose, who was it for? Dread or perhaps jealousy bubbled in your soul. “Did your mother ever tell you its rude to spy?” A voice says behind you, you notice your shadow isn’t yours again. Its his silhouette, you briefly look back at the shadow milk in the field but instead he is not floating right in your face with a smug look. You flinch back, he smiles. “You know, for once I’m shocked! You actually followed me! I was worried i’d have to get extreme in convincing that pure fool to let go of you, but you came on your own. Good choice!” He says floating around you like a fish swimming gracefully, almost flaunting the rose he picked. You were eyeing it, he grinned further. “Ohohoh! You look ready to tear someone to shreds! Don’t worry, it’s for you,” he says and places it in your hand. His hands now around yours, the thorns were clipped so when he squeezed your hands it didn’t hurt. He had a dark look on his face, it wasn’t like how you’ve seen before. “I think i’ll enjoy seeing your face for a long, long time, and i’ll be the only one to see it… sound familiar?” He says and pulls the book from your bag. You fluster further, cheeks burning. The mix of fantasizing about his potential actions and the shock of him pulling out your notes mixed quickly. “Im antsy to see what you said about me~,” he giggles deviously. Instead of standing shocked you replied matching his tone, “i think you’ll enjoy what i have to say about you.” He’s now smiling widely, “then let’s not waste any time!” He says and opens a portal, dragging you in.

Meanwhile on an unseen balcony nearby

🃏 - Black sapphire leans against the railing, at first incredibly amused at the sight. It was humorous to see his master trying to flirt, or scare them. Then you started to look like you were into it… He wasn’t expecting that, you seemed quite nice! His mind devolving into mild surprise, then finally a whole slurry of emotions. “That was… erm… are we going to have to deal with that everyday now?” He turns to Candy Apple cookie standing stiffly, disgust, sadness and rage written on her face. She exited without saying a word, running back into the spire probably to her room to plot.

[x-prettyboy-x]

Okay Erik request, maybes like fem!reader who's kinda scared abt getting a beautiful tattoo done by him 🥰, but calms her down if you know what I mean 😜😜😜, I can't remember if this is canon but perhaps Erik with a tongue piercing... If his mouth is involved 😍😍

Anxiety Management

Oh anon how I love you. I am such a firm believer in Erik having a tongue piercing. First time writing smut, its fine. I got this. I dont got this.

Pairing: Erik Campbell × Fem!Reader

Warnings: smut 18+ minors fucks off thank you, mentions of needles idk

Contents: oral(f receiving), fingering, established relationship, reader being terrified of getting a tattoo, erik calming her the best way he knows how, Erik with a tongue piercing and putting it to work‼️voice kink? If you squint? Hand kink. My god i love his hands.

Wc; 1.5k

Masterlist

You had no idea why you were so fucking anxious rightnow. Eriks the one doing the tattoo, no one else is here, the shop is closed. It's the best environment for you to get your first tattoo in, and yet you cant sit still. Can't stop freaking out over nothing. Erik was already all set up, his tattoo gun ready to go and all the ink he would need, sleeves rolled up with the usual black latex gloves. You were not staring at his arms. Absolutely not.

Erik picked up on how anxious you seemed pretty quickly, set aside the fact he'd given many people their first tattoos, he knows you. Knows the signs. He sighed quietly and scooted his stool closer, tilting his head at you with that shit eating grin of his.

"You changing your mind on me already? I haven't even started yet." He was teasing. He was always teasing. And most of the time, you loved his teasing. Not in this situation.

"Shut up. Im not changing my mind I'm just- nervous. Anxious. I cant fuckin sit still. Im allowed to be nervous, you're about to stab me with needles over and over." You were rambling, the anxiety getting the better of you.

"Well, baby. If you want me to do this, you kinda have to be still. And it won't be as bad as it is in your head, I promise. The tattoo isn't even that big. You'll be fine. Can you lay back for me? Need access to your forearm." He wasn't teasing you anymore, his voice was softer, less.. gravel in his tone.

You took a deep breath and laid back, extending your arm out for him on the table. Erik carefully put on the stencil and had you check it was the right placement, that you liked the design. And of course you did. Erik drew it, you always loved the things he drew up, that's how you ended up in this train wreck of a situation anyway.

Erik picked up the tattoo gun and moved closer, but stopped when he saw how badly your hands were shaking. You hadn't even noticed. He let out an exaggerated sigh and put the tattoo gun back down, standing up and pulling off his gloves and tossing them aside, "Okay."

You went into panic mode. Great, now he was mad at you. You were acting like a child and now he's mad at you. You quickly sat up and started rambling again before you could stop yourself, "Erik, baby. Im sorry. I'll calm down, I'll sit still, please just- give me like five minutes and I'll suck it the fuck up and-"

You didnt finish. You couldn't, not with Eriks hand on your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. Not with that look in his eyes. That look he gave across a room and you knew what he wanted. Knew you needed to find the closest empty room avaliable.

"I'm not mad. I'm just gonna help my girl relax, yeah?" Oh you loved that voice. The voice that sent a pleasant shiver down your spine, made you wanna jump him on the spot.

He let go of your jaw and carefully pushed you to lay back, and you damn sure weren't gonna fight it. Once you'd gotten comfortable, he wasted no time in working to get your jeans off of you, and you didnt hesitate to help him. He looked up at you with a cocky smirk once he noticed the dark spot already forming on your panties. He let out a quiet 'hm' as he slipped the fabric down your legs, putting them in his pocket for now "Haven't even touched you yet, you like my voice that much?"

Yes. Among other things. Like his hands, you could stare at his hands for hours, and you had. You couldn't count how many times you'd watched him tattoo a client, watching his hands as they worked. Thinking about all the things those hands could do to you, have done to you.

He grabbed you by your thighs and used them to pull you closer to the edge of the chair, like you weighed nothing. That got your attention, your daydreaming quickly forgotten.

"I know you know how to use your words, pretty girl. I asked you a question."

How the hell were you meant to focus on forming words when he was looking at you like that? When he was trailing his hand further and further up your thigh torturously slow. "Well?"

You let out a huff of frustration and laid back, looking up at the ceiling so you didnt have to see how he was looking at you. Like he wanted to devour you. "Yes. I really like your voice."

"Good girl."

You felt him push your thighs apart, and even now, after you've been together so long and done this so many times, you couldn't help the slight embarrassment you felt. Couldn't help how you struggled to look at him. But all that was quickly forgotten when you felt his hand finally reach your heat, finally touching you where you needed him most. He pressed 2 fingers into you, wasting no time in starting up a steady pace, curling them just right to hit that spot he knew would have you on the edge in minutes.

You let out a breathy moan, your nails digging into the leather of the chair under you. You hadn't expected him to move so quickly, not that you were complaining. Erik usually liked to go slow, liked to drag it out and tease until you were a mess and begging for something, anything. But he had a purpose now.

"Yeah, that's it baby. Just feel it and relax." He whispered, kissing along your thigh. You hated how easy it was for him to work you up sometimes. You hated that he knew he had that much effect on you even more. So many times he'd look at you a certain way, whisper something in your ear while you were out in public just knowing it would work you up.

Just as you felt that knot start to tighten, that pressure starting to build, he stopped, pulling his hand away. You let out a whine before you could stop it and sat up on your elbows to look down at him, but before you could even get a word out to complain, his mouth was on you. The cold metal of that damn barbell in his tongue rolling against your clit just right. You were so fucking grateful in that moment that he'd made sure the shop was empty, a loud unfiltered moan being pulled from your throat. You laid back once again, your back arching off the leather under you. Your hand found its way down to his hair, fisting into the black strands and pulling him closer. And fuck you could've cum right then and there just from the sound that escaped him, low and desperate, almost a growl.

The tongue piercing had started as a joke. Erik had always loved going down on you. Sure, he liked getting head too but if he had the choice, he'd live between your thighs if he could, living off nothing but the taste of you and the sounds he pulled from you. One night, while you were laying on his bare chest, both of you still trying to catch your breath, you'd laughed and said he should get his tongue pierced. He took it to heart. He came to you with his tongue freshly pierced within a couple days. The healing process was torture for him, but my god he made up for all the lost time when it finally healed, keeping you on your back and him between your thighs for hours at a time. The best few days of his life if you asked him.

When your orgasm finally wrecked through you, your thighs clamping around his head and your moans getting higher pitched, more urgent, his tongue just fucked you through it until he felt you ease up, your moans of pleasure turning to soft whines from the overstimulation, the hand in his hair trying to push him away rather than pull him closer, only then did he stop.

Erik moved away with a groan, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he watched your chest rise and fall with each heavy breath you took. Erik loved this, the aftermath. Seeing you so beautiful and wrecked because of him. He walked around to the side of the chair, running a hand through your hair and giving you a smile "You still with me, baby? Hm?"

You looked over at him and nodded, carefully sitting up. "Yeah.. fuck, that piercing was the best joke I ever made."

He laughed, grabbing your jeans off the floor and your panties from his pocket to give them back and let you get dressed. "Yeah well, you know better now than to joke about me getting a piercing of any kind, because you know I'll do it. Now.. you gonna sit still and let me get this tattoo done?"

You gave him a nervous look, watching as he put on another pair of gloves and made sure his tattoo tray was still good to go.

"About that.. Can I still have that five minutes?"

[the-badger-mole]

sorry if this is weird, i've been reading through some of your posts specifically about azula and a (hypothetical) redemption arc and yeah. you have the best take i've seen so far.

she's a very compelling character, but honestly the fandom kinda ruined her for me. i'm not exactly opposed to a 'redemption' arc, but so many (maybe even most? idk) posts just assume that zuko, mai, ty lee, or the gaang are obligated to help her. like they should be the people coddling her and fixing her, instead of her doing the work herself.

despite not being huge fans of mai or ty lee, both of them were manipulated and humiliated by azula. whatever friendship they had was toxic from azula's end. same for zuko - i don't know how people can watch atla and insist that they're just "normal siblings" or that zuko's the one who's the problem. and i don't think i need to explain why the gaang is obligated to help her when she's tried to kill them (and did succeed in killing aang).

it's just.. unacceptable, to me, to suggest that it's your responsibility to help your abuser and change them. it's not better to suggest that leaving, or even hating, a toxic person/relationship is bad. it was a good thing to leave! even if they are also abused, even if they are hurting, even if they might care about you.

ps. and tbh a lot of times even post-redemption, her character is just no longer there. i don't believe anybody is born inherently evil or good, and i don't think azula is completely irredeemable. i just don't think it's fair to expect any of the people she's hurt - the gaang, her former friends, especially zuko of all people - to just gloss over all the shit she pulled. i also don't think she'd be bumping shoulders and being goody goody (at least not right off the bat) - yeah, azula could realize ozai was a shitbag and a loser, but that realization would not make her become a "good person". she has feelings, and that doesn't mean that she's suddenly going to gain a moral compass. and don't get me started on putting her back into government - iroh voluntarily forfeited being firelord because of the siege despite working against ozai; why would azula, the person who directly caused the fall of ba sing se and was the threat second only the ozai, be any more welcome? not to mention the fact that so much of her entitlement and hubris comes directly from being better than everybody else (sans ozai).

i'm not too good with words, i guess what i'm trying to say is, i really do like your draft for azula's long journey to quiet redemption. it feels in-character and bittersweet, perfect ending for her arc imo. i do think a quiet life would bring her some inner peace; she's been pushed all her life to be perfect, to be the best, the strongest. she needs an identity outside of that.

I'm glad you like it! I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing that story (but I do hope to someday), but I'm happy to hear that my little (okay, maybe not so little) synopsis struck a chord. I don't mind the idea of an Azula redemption, but it would have to be messy and complicated because of all the people she affected. I hate that that rarely, if ever, gets addressed by fans and fic writers.

I'm a firm believer that people can change, but only if they want to. I have never seen an Azula redemption arc that gives a good reason for her to want to change, outside of mental health issues (which is not my favorite for her, tbh). I could buy that she deep (waaaaay down deep, deep, deep) she loved Zuko, actually, but she was also ambitious, arrogant and power hungry. That doesn't just go away because you love someone and/or they love you. Female villains especially get treated that way. As if their villainy was all the product of external circumstances completely out of their control, and not also the product of decisions they actively made, and love just makes it all go away. What about the people she hurt who she didn't love and didn't love her? Their feelings about it don't matter? I get people want Azula to be 100% completely redeemable because she's a girl and she's young, but the way people go about it is extremely reductive and, to me, often reads as deeply sexist.

[luv-again]

We know what happened to Shadows parents but what are your headcanons for Amy’s parents? Would Shadow and Amy share their stories?

ahhh hi !! i was just wondering when you were going to drop by next and a minute later, there you were. the intuition has been wildly on point these past couple of days, haha. but yippee !! you're just in time for my weekend so i can crack this out, no holding off this time ! <33

shadamy's parents

can i just start this off by telling you that both ironically and unironically i love gerald and black doom. it's so funny to me ?? playing shadow 05 for the first time and discovering that cutscene prior to cosmic fall where shadow finds out '[gerald] created [him] with black doom' is so ??? and while i was paraphrasing that line, the little flashbacks paired with it- idk about you guys but my old man yaoi goggles were on that day. shadow's two deranged divorced dads :) the concept is both downright hilarious but something i accepted a little too readily LMAO

ANYWAY

i have a couple of headcanons about amy's parents, and it kind of depends on what i'm writing for and how that background would impact her psyche and judgement. i can never give you one answer, can i lol

TAHI (1) : amy's parents abandoned her as a child (whether that be by accident or intentionally)

idk a lot about the classic games as i haven't had the opportunity to play them yet, but sometime prior to cd with never lake and little planet and all, amy's parents abandon her and is left to fend for herself. this, of course, causes her to have abandonment issues further down the line. arguably, this could be backed up by scenes in sa2 where she gets left behind by the boys so often — at one point she doesn't even realise she's part of the team when she finally gets acknowledged. that breaks my heart. however, it would all add up

i touch on a little bit of these issues in one of my fics, where amy has a hard time believing shadow will stick by her in the events of cryptic castle because nobody really has stuck by her with total consistency. but without a word, he convinces her that she's worthy of stable support and in turn she puts her full trust in him. actions speak louder than words and all <3

RUA (2) : amy actually has loving parents who support and respect her independence

kids are pretty impressionable, so it would make sense that amy's boundless love had to come from somewhere ! amy's parents would be the type to love each other very much, resolve their spats diplomatically (despite one of her parents' hot temper - i always hc this to be the mother for some reason) and that's likely where amy developed a lot of her ideas about love from. amy's an adventurous spirit, always has been and her parents know this. they trust her to be able to handle herself, hence why she lives alone. amy keeps her parents updated on her life when she can and rarely ever keeps secrets from them

i've done an angle of this in another of my projects, but it developed into something far more complicated that i won't get into here, for brevity's sake

absolutely shadow and amy would exchange stories about their parents ! if amy experienced the first point i made, perhaps she'd have trouble navigating and discussing that topic due to trauma, but so would shadow, so i feel like they'd ease themselves into having that conversation or it occurs naturally sometime into their relationship when deep discussions don't feel like a scary boundary to cross. if it was the latter point, amy would be thrilled to share with shadow about her childhood, so long as it doesn't gut him to be reminded of what happened to him on the ark. she'd eventually take him to meet her parents, no doubt and if they're anything like her, they'd embrace him with open arms :)

thank you for these asks as always, i always have so much fun writing them out for you !!!! love <3

[enihk-writes]

[at the end of a burnt wick]

pairing: tang bo x afab!she/her!reader

NOT exactly an x reader because i didn't want tang bo and reader's relationship to be romantic, tried to make them platonic / co-workers like ah-duo and the emperor from the apothecary diaries + implied tangchung because all roads lead to old men yaoi

summary: anthology of a married pair

content warning: archaic wedding practices mentioned (i.e. having to consummate a marriage against the will of both parties) // stillbirth and child loss (disconnect with traditional expectations of parenthood)

word count: 6.66k

author's note: my roman empire lately is about how i used to audition to nijisanji and only niji at least 3-4 times (didn't even pass the first stage lol) before i got really fixated with rotbb.... maybe one day i will try my hand at vtubing and streaming again... for now it's fanfiction time ragggghhh!!!!! fictional men 4ever!!!!

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

═══════════════

FIRST MEETING

the first time the young tang bo met her, was when he was a little over fifteen.

she was also just as young as he — a wee lass that had yet to lose the childlike roundness of her cheeks, round eyes that seemed to sparkle in wonderment at all the grandeur around her. tang bo didn't understand what was so special about the surroundings, he'd grown up here all his life and had already seen most of anything money could buy. this girl was weird.

he didn't find out until much later that this was the first time she had ever left the four walls of her room, much less her own home.

he thinks that it was no wonder she had looked so amazed with everything she saw back then. he can't imagine a life where he had to live constrained to one place, going through the same routine everyday would have bored him to death.

he wasn't looking forward to future conversations with that girl — he was certain she would be utterly dull and boring.

═══════════════

ENGAGEMENT

tang bo was furious that the elders had went and signed off the engagement contract without even asking for his approval. he had been meeting with countless hopefuls for a few years by now, and he'd been able to fend them all off by acting in ways that had all these well-bred ladies huffing and puffing in indignation. crying to their fathers that they would rather die than marry a man like he.

so who was it that agreed to this!

tang bo mutters under his breath, teeth gritted, fists clenched. he had to see with his own two eyes the woman who was stupid or desperate enough to let herself be wed to the likes of him.

elder!

the young man throws open the doors to the main hall, not caring one bit about the guests sitting inside. the elders and the patriarch in question frowned at his behaviour, biting their tongues from chastising him in front of strangers.

his gaze lands on a familiar face, a little older and a lot less naive, but familiar nonetheless. he didn't know that a person's demeanour could change so drastically in a few years.

tang bo's hands fall to his sides, he shuffles towards the end of the table, plopping down on the empty spot across his soon-to-be betrothed. he eyes her figure, chewing on the inside of his mouth, trying to come up with something to insult her with.

tang bo—

the patriarch didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence when the young man scoffs at the girl's face, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a sneer.

really? her?

tang bo glances over at the heads of his family, finger pointing rudely in the girl's face. they all sigh, knowing what was about to come from the impudent boy. they could only hope this girl wouldn't take his jabs to heart.

hey you.

he juts his chin at her.

all my other candidates looked prettier than you. hey, did you even bother to put in any effort when coming to meet me?

she ignored him, sipping on her tea serenely. the girl's guardians shift in their seats nervously. ah, this young master has yet to face their mistress' infamous anger.

tang bo clicks his tongue.

oi, did you even — hey!

he didn't expect her to splash the remainder of her drink onto him. the warm liquid splatters across his face and drips down his now damp hair, even the front of his robes were now soiled from the tea.

he looks over to the elders of his family in surprise, hoping that they'd stand up for him but none met his eye. he felt betrayed when he catches some of them trying to hide the twitch of their mouths suppressing their laughs.

they all thought that it was about time someone put this boy in his place, talented and intelligent as he may be.

needless to say, the rest of the meeting went on smoothly. and it ended with the confirmation of the two's engagement. much to tang bo's despair and the girl's indifference.

═══════════════

FIRST 'DATE'

he really tried his best to drag his feet that day. the elders had arranged for an evening dinner in the newly established inn downtown with his bride-to-be and tang bo really did not want to go. he was kicking up a fuss with his clothes, this one was too dull, that one is too bright, it's too rough, it's too short... and so on. but when he finally ran out of excuses and the attendants tiredly managed to dress him appropriately — the sun was beginning to set.

tang bo perks up. perhaps he didn't have to go out with her after all!

he steps out of his room, surprised to see that there was no one in the courtyard. he shouldn't have felt a jolt of worry then, but he did, and he wondered if something was wrong.

where is she?

he asks to no one in particular, heading to her room three doors down from his, footfalls heavy on the lacquered wooden planks of the corridor. he hears panicked voices muffled behind the doors and throws the doors to her room open.

she sat in the middle of the room in nothing but her undergarments, surrounded by the tang estate's maids and piles of unworn clothes. she had her back facing him, and all he could see were the maids hurriedly hiding away the containers of makeup all shying away from his scrutinising gaze.

out.

the maids didn't have to be told twice. they all scurried out of her room like mice, tails between their legs and faces pursed in anxiety at being caught in the middle of something they probably shouldn't be doing. tang bo sighed heavily. to think the woman he was to marry was getting bullied, by mere maids too? he felt ashamed on her behalf. he didn't like people who were fine with others taking advantage and stepping all over them. he hated that they didn't have a backbone to stand up for themselves.

kicking off his shoes, he entered her room — nose scrunched up instinctively at the suffocating dust in the air. he looked around to see all the windows shut tightly, there were no gaps for even a sliver of light to shine inside.

how has this girl been living so far, for her to be fine with this treatment?

tang bo coughed, stumbling over to open the windows, lightheaded from the lack of breathable air. he waves his hands to chase the dust outside, coughing even harder when the little particles get all up in his face.

he hears her giggle. much to his growing annoyance, what was so funny anyway.

he sits in front of her, letting the pile of unworn clothes cushion him from the hard floor. under the orange glow of the setting sun, he sees her for the first time today, all dolled up in the most garish makeup that would have certainly humiliated her, and had he not barged in she would have had to go around in public like that.

you look uglier today.

she chuckled and hummed in response, she looks around in search of something. grabbing a rag from under the clothes, she proceeded to wipe off her painted face, only to have tang bo take it out of her hands with a soft, let me.

he holds her chin between his fingers, rubbing off the white powder that contrasted starkly against her skin, making her look sickly. he rubs off the crudely drawn-out eyebrows and the thick rouge that sat on her lips. he can't help but notice the way her lashes fluttered as she tried to keep her eyes closed. maybe his fiancee was a little cute.

with her face now bare, the girl lets out the breath she had been holding. but tang bo wasn't done yet.

where are you facing. turn back here.

he ordered pointedly, and she couldn't help but to go back into her prior position. lips and eyes squeezed shut, much like a puppy getting told off for misbehaving.

picking up a brush out of the many lying haphazardly over the vanity, tang bo dipped it's tip into the little porcelain jar left ajar. it was lipstick in a shade deep red, the type that would have looked lovely especially on her.

he holds the girl's now bare face in one hand, the brush in the other, outlining the shape of her lips with the new rouge. the feathery touch of the brush tip was ticklish, moreso with how tang bo had been holding it in an uncharacteristically gentle way as though he were a potter painting intricate patterns on a cup before he sent it off to the burning fires in a kiln.

he pinched the brush, smudging the tint against his fingers and drawing faint circles at the outer corner of her eyes.

tang bo leans back to admire his handiwork. he couldn't help but feel proud of the results. not only was he good at martial arts and medicine, he had an amazing eye for aesthetics too? where would anyone find a better husband then he?

the girl opens her eyes cautiously, her gaze meeting his. he looked pleased, boastful even.

hmph. you look more presentable now.

he hands her a mirror, and as she looks at her reflection against the shiny bronze surface, she had to agree. her fiance had done a good job with her face. maybe he wasn't all that awful.

thank you, young master tang.

the girl smiled, her eyes crinkling upwards in a smile. tang bo scoffs and looks out the window, hiding his embarrassment at her sincere words. thinking back now, this was the first he'd heard her speak, wasn't it? maybe he should pay more attention once in a while.

heh. of course you should be thanking me.

the sky and grown dark. lucky him, he didn't have to go out to that dinner with her after all.

═══════════════

THE FIRST REAL DATE

tang bo felt a little irked that she had been walking behind him even when he had slowed down to match her pace. it's almost like she had been deliberately hanging back.

you.

he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him. she stumbled over her feet and falls over with a startled squeak.

you're my fiancee. so stand proud and walk beside me.

he declares with a hand on his hip, the grip on her wrist with his other not once loosening. he walks again, just as slow as he had been earlier, feeling a little happy that the girl no longer lagged behind.

he'd started to warm up to her, no longer seeing her as the stranger living in his house, one day to become his wife. she was more akin to a little sister he'd have to babysit.

no, actually she was more like an apprehensive kitten left on his doorstep that he'd grown to like taking care of.

buying her sweets and spoiling her with accessories she might not even have a chance to wear just because he thought she'd look cute in them has been one of his favourite hobbies these days.

why was he so anxious about getting engaged before? ever since she became his fiancee, he didn't have to go out and meet with any more annoying noble ladies clamouring over each other trying to win over his affection. the best part was that she kept to herself, and minded her own business unless it was time to visit the elders and the patriarch for afternoon tea — which he didn't mind since having her as his own personal walking event reminder has really saved him from getting scolded even more by the old farts.

ah! look! they're selling meat skewers over there! come on, let's go get some! i'm sure you'd like those too.

tang bo giggles and drags the girl over to another street vendor. ah, lucky him. he's hit the jackpot with the whole engagement game — a tolerable and cute wife-to-be, could a boy ask for anything more? guanyin-ma really was looking over him after all.

═══════════════

FORTUNE TELLER

after two seasons of living under the same roof, the heads of the tang clan decide that it was time for the two to meet with the fortune teller. set up an auspicious date through the tung shing, and be wed on the right phase of the moon and the best placement of the stars in the sky.

the young master is lucky to have found someone this compatible. it is hard for children born in his year to find a suitable partner. they say snakes rarely get along with the other zodiacs.

says the old eccentric woman who proclaimed herself to be the best fortune teller in sichuan and the one who had been checking the birthdates of all the potential brides that had been introduced to tang bo thus far. the boy felt the urge to get up and fight that hack, respecting his elders be damned, so she was the one sending him all those insufferable girls his way.

he feels a hand grab at his arm. fingers digging into his flesh enough to keep him seated. he looks over at the girl sitting next to him, expression unchanging, her body angled to lean a little closer to his.

his hand reached over discreetly to peel her fingers off him, bringing her hand down to hold his under the table, fingers intertwined. she seemed to relax a little, tense shoulders falling ever gently, her jaw growing slightly more slack.

to the untrained eye, the girl's expressions were the same. but to him, he's watched her long enough, even if it wasn't every day, to spot the subtle changes whenever she expressed herself. tang bo pats himself on the back for being such an attentive fiance.

his attention shifted from the conversation between the fortune teller and the elders to the girl's hand. they were soft and smooth, as expected of a lady of noble birth. his on the other hand were calloused from training, the tips of his fingers were starting to turn darker from the constant exposure to poisons. shit, he might have to start wearing gloves.

the girl hadn't been paying attention to the conversation going on either, spacing out until the elders called on the two. stifling their startled gasp, the two youngins stared at their elders, a confused expression painted on their faces, not one bit guilty for ignoring everything that was being said.

ah, it's good they are getting along well.

the fortune teller chuckled with a knowing glint in her eye trying to suggest something, but both tang bo and the girl didn't seem to catch her drift, the old woman's point flying over their heads.

the elders soon turn back to their discussion, talking about the best days that would suit the two.

look here, since they are both born as snakes, their auspicious numbers are two, eight and nine. i'd suggest we hold the wedding...

tang bo nudges at the girl.

hey.

she looks up at him. he leaned down next to her ear, wanting to ask her about her birthday, too embarrassed to ask about it outright in front of the elders. he didn't want to seem like an incompetent fiance to his future bride.

she hides a growing grin. it was nice of him to start paying attention to her. little steps, little steps. she wriggles her hand out of his grasp and writes down the date with her finger on the surface of his palm.

good thing their hands were under the table, or people would know about the cause of the redness dusting the back of his ears.

the meeting dragged on until late in the evening. it ended with the agreement that they were to be wed on the eighth day of the eighth month on the eighth year of the emperor's reign.

truly the most auspicious day for a union.

═══════════════

A BRIDE-TO-BE'S DRESSING ROOM

the long-awaited day came by later than expected. the previous emperor passed before he even got close to the eighth year of his reign. not wanting to change the numbers of the date, the elders decided to push the event back until the current emperor had reached his eighth year.

by then, the two had grown into a man and a woman, a lot older than the common age to be wed. but it was no matter. who would dare speak up against the tang clan's young master and his wife-to-be?

the day, hell, even the night before had been hectic. tang bo slipped past his attendants to take a peak at what was going on in her room. traditions be damned, who cares about the groom not seeing his bride until they were at the altar? that was so outdated!

what are you doing here?

she had been left alone to rest from the non-stop preparations since before dawn. tang bo walks in, careful not to make too much noise as he slides the door shut behind him.

why? can't i visit my wife?

i am not your wife.

yet~

his teasing voice moved behind her. he picked up the brush to comb out the knots that were all tangled up — the maids had put on extensions to lengthen her hair. she hadn't been able to grow them to the expected length, much to the annoyance of the maids. they hadn't been nice when attaching the accessories, she could still feel the burning sensation on her scalp.

there was no need to kick up a fuss at this point. especially in front of tang bo. this guy would have kicked out all the attendants who had been treating her poorly, but that felt like too easy of a punishment. she wanted to deal with them herself when the time comes, sorry for that, young master tang.

the leather gloves he wore were cold, and the feeling of his fingertips scratching against her scalp was soothing, enough to draw out a quiet purr from the woman. much to her shocked embarassment.

oh?

she leans away from him.

...please ignore that.

but how could he?

my wife... how can you be so cute~!

i need you to shut up right now.

═══════════════

WORLD'S MOST BORING CEREMONY

if it was any consolation, the two had agreed that this whole affair was a pain in their ass.

wife, do you know when this will end?

what makes you think i have the answer to that?

tang bo thinks his bride was lucky to have that red veil over her face. if she wanted to shut her eyes and sleep, none of the guests nor elders would be any wiser. poor old him. they should have made a veil for the goom too, which smartass decided otherwise anyway? if he ever met that person, tang bo promised he would pummel the other to the ground.

wife.

she hums in acknowledgement, bowing her head at a guest who had come up to the front to pay their blessings to the pair.

wife.

tang bo called out again, his tone getting a little impatient. wincing when he felt her pinch the skin between his thumb and index finger. he tried to smile at the strangers passing them by, feeling drained and completely spent from the day's activities. it didn't help that the noisy chatter of everyone around them was making him feel worse.

wife, you should tell the elders that you're tired and want to rest for the night... i'm sure they'd listen to you.

why me? you go!

huh? me? nuh-uh, you go!

the back and forth lasted for a bit until they both agreed to ask the elders together. after all, having a partner-in-crime to take the fall together with you was way better than facing backlash alone.

perhaps the atmosphere of a wedding had put the elders in a carefree mood, perhaps it was the result of a dozen empty wine bottles. they think it might be both, but no matter, they received permission to get out of there.

the best news either had ever heard today.

scurring away quickly, the newlyweds giggle amongst each other like kids up to no good even as they were well into their twenties. the guests and elders cooed in amusement, talking about how nice it must be to be young and in love.

though that second part was so far from the truth, when the two talk about it again in their later years, it had grown into a funny story they liked to reminisce about over a midnight drink.

═══════════════

THE FIRST NIGHT

tang bo glanced over at his wife, carrying the same grimace as she did. it was hard not to cringe at the overtly crude decorations in their now shared room.

right. that was how it was in these parts. they were now husband and wife so the elders are probably expecting the results of the two carrying out their marital duties within the next year.

i don't want to do that...

me neither...

now sitting across each other on the floor, they discuss how to trick the maids who would certainly check the bedding the next morning. if nothing happened tonight then they would be under more scrutiny. but who's to say that there won't be any surveillance after? ugh! this was all so annoying!

tang bo watched as the woman before him let out a big sigh, dropping her head into her hands. he felt sorry for his wife, it must be hard living as the new daughter-in-law of his family.

should we get this done and over with?

he suggested finally, after exhausting all their options. his wife makes a face at that, but she can't argue.

awkwardly he hands over a vial, an all-purpose antidote of sorts, in case she gets accidentally poisoned while coming into contact with him. the head had passed it to him sometime during the ceremony earlier, tang bo had been hoping he didn't have to use it, at least he held himself back from throwing the whole vial at the wall when it was given.

he didn't say it at first, but he could hear the eyes and ears surrounding them grow careless every few moments, revealing their presence by accident with an unintentional movement or sound. how uncouth of them to be watching the two newlyweds like this. it seemed she'd also noticed their presence, with how she'd glance out the windows whenever a small rustle was heard.

i'm so sorry.

he murmured an apology as he kissed her cheek — he didn't have to look to know she had a faint look of disdain, directed to no one in particular yet still stung through his heart.

it's not your fault.

so she says. but it might as well be. to him at least.

the consummation wasn't a pleasant process. neither could look at the other in the eye. the knowledge that people were standing outside the room to listen in on the completion of their marriage made this whole ordeal so much worse.

wife...i...

tang bo feels his hips stutter, his face burns in shame as his hoarse voice tries to speak.

her hands reach out to brush his hair out of his face, fingertips lightly smooth out the crease of his furrowed brows. she'd resigned herself long ago, knowing this whole process was inevitable from the time she reached adolescence. to think her own husband did not...

she felt a slight twinge of pity. the young master tang was a lot more sheltered than she had thought.

when it was all over, they scrambled to get away from the other, each sitting at the furthest end of the bed — letting what had conspired sink in. how many more times would this have to happen in the future?

she was the first to collect herself. getting up, she shuffles over to tang bo, her hand reaching out for his.

my husband, we should go and clean up.

he nodded, taking her hand in his wordlessly as she led him to the tub hidden behind the partition. after dipping the dry towels in the now warm water to wipe their bodies clean, slipping into clean nightgowns and peeling off the soiled bedspreads to throw them aside, they finally crawl under the covers, yawning tiredly.

sleep came over easily, surprisingly enough.

═══════════════

DIAGNOSIS

the questions that hung around in the air at this time of the year were all about babies, children, the next generation. everyone wanted to know which of the wedded members would be expecting soon.

most eyes were turned on tang bo and his wife.

unfortunately.

their marriage had happened over five years ago, almost ten, and all this time their other relatives who had gotten married later than they were popping out one offspring after another — yet none were to be seen for the young lord and his lady. the elders often lamented on the silence of their side of the estate.

rumour has it that their relationship was on the rocks, with how neither shared a room nor did they spend a night together like all the tang spouses — save for the occasional times they'd go to visit the other's quarters every two to three months. to scratch an itch as one might say. after all, they were still young and quite healthy, so such urges were still common occurrences. might as well do it with someone familiar rather than do that with a stranger.

the relationship between tang bo and his wife was actually far more amicable than anyone could have guessed. it was hard to describe the solace they'd found in each other's unspoken commanderie within the household. they'd been living together long enough to know virtually everything about each other, yet there was always a line drawn between them to keep the distance.

today, she wasn't here for any of their usual arrangements. tang bo had came back to find his wife nursing a cup of tea in one hand, resting it on top of a propped-up leg. she had set out a game of weiqi on the table, next to a steaming teapot and array of snacks.

looks like someone's got news.

his teasing voice called out to the woman, settling down on the seat across her. he hums in thought, contemplating his move as she places down her white bead on the board.

your uncle came over to see why we weren't having kids yesterday. he's given me the results this morning, right after you left.

the woman holds out the folded paper, a little crumpled from being kept between the layers of her robes. tang bo takes it, opening it to read what his so-called uncle had diagnosed his wife with. talk about elder butting into a youngster's business for no good reason.

this...

he says that i'm barren.

she looks down with a small smile,and it looked a little bitter. of course, how could she not be? after all that had happened those few years back?

to say that she's unable to carry a child after all she had gone through back then was such a cruel prank from the heavens. he knows his wife wanted to be a mother more than anything, to give that little baby all her love in the world or along those sentiments — as did he. so if that's not going to happen... then, what now?

they were silent as they moved their beads across the game board. contemplating their next moves and what to say to the other.

there's crab stick snacks here, you should try some.

as always, she breaks the silence first. grabbing a few sticks of the salty treat to nibble on before handing the container over to her husband. tang bo reached for the food mindlessly, thinking about how nice it'd be to have these with some sweet wine.

ah, but his wife wasn't much of a drinker so that's a bummer.

═══════════════

ONLY CHILD

he should have heard the cries of the baby.

it was quiet inside, and out where he was waiting too. the nurses and maids walked out of the room with buckets of soiled, bloody rags with their heads down and mouths drawn into a thin line — something was wrong, something had gone terribly wrong.

tang bo felt his feet move, walking towards the bedroom where the doors were still shut tightly. he weaved past the attendants trying to hold him back, all telling their young master to go back and wait.

wait? why did he have to wait when he didn't know what was happening to his wife right then? she needed him. and she needed him right now.

the midwife slides the door open just as he was about to open it himself. they both take a step back in surprise.

young master... the lady is alive and well. she is waiting inside.

the older woman bowed and scurried away from the scene to join the others in the courtyard outside.

his wife lay on her back on top of fresh bedsheets and a clean nightgown. she had a sickly pallor, lips were chapped dry with red marks of blood from where the skin ripped open. hair that was riddled with sweat stuck onto the sides of her face, the untied tresses splayed over the top of the bed. her eyes were unfocused and blank, staring straight up at the wall, mind elsewhere. her cheeks were still stained with the remnants of her tears, the evidence of what transpired within these four walls.

wife...

tang bo called out cautiously. she didn't respond, barely even moved an inch to acknowledge his presence.

next to her on the bed was a small swaddle, the stillness of what was supposed to be alive unnerved him. the child's dull skin, probably in some shade of grey, eyes that were never to open, oh.

he sits by her bedside, back facing her. he too, did not know what to say to her at that moment. he was the last person that could have possibly comforted her. well, it was his child too but they were both not lovers so this was an offspring born out of necessity rather than a genuine want. and at this point in his life, tang bo wasn't actually too thrilled about the prospect of fatherhood. not that he would resent that kid, it's just he might not have loved them like he should.

his wife, she's mentioned her anticipation of motherhood but once in a while, he'd catch glimpses of the unreadable expression she had when no one was looking — all while she rubs her growing belly. it made him think that perhaps she wasn't always telling the truth.

once there was a patient who had came to the tang estate to treat the growing tumors in his intestines and since he was a rather important guest, most of the members of the main family, the two of them included, had dropped by to greet him and wish him well for recovery. tang bo could never forget the intensity of her absent gaze at the patient's stomach, her balled fist tightening over her shawl ever so slightly.

perhaps it's good that she's dead.

tang bo feels his eyebrows rise up in shock.

you're not too keen on fathering a child either, are you?

he shakes his head.

well, that makes the two of us. the heavens must be looking out for her, keeping her away from parents like us who can't give her the love she needs.

his wife sighed deeply. her tired face falling to the side to look at him, a lopsided smile making its way onto her lips as if to ease the heavy tension of her words away. she might be right. perhaps, it was better this way. tang bo closes her eyes with his palm, patting her to sleep the way one would with a feverish child.

their daughter would later be the two's first and only child.

═══════════════

SWORDSMAN

the woman wondered how one-sided her husband's relationship with his friend was. the man was a rather expressionless fellow — his sentences were short, curt and straight to the point. her husband didn't seem to mind, with now he was almost always all over that man. ah well, she's just happy tang bo has an actual friend.

rather than worry that he was drunk off his rocker out on the streets past midnight doing who-knows-what in who-knows-where, at least now he's causing trouble with someone she could easily track. apperently, the man was a troublemaker in his own home too.

the first time she met the older sect brother of her husband's friend, they shared a look of silent understanding. ah, so you too have an oversized child to deal with.

watching tang bo come home staggering on his feet together with the man, leaning on the other for support used to riddle her with worry but now she just ushers them both into a spare room prepped with the necessary herbs to concoct a hangover remedy and hope for the best. her husband was a capable man, he would never let himself falter and die in a ditch.

in hindsight, she might have been too confident in his abilities.

the swordsman was the best thing to have happened to her husband. and it was not an exaggeration by any means. not when he looked at his happiest for the first time since she'd known him. even if they were both past their fifties and sixties.

how nice. she thinks to herself whenever she spots them together. to find your other half, your kindred spirit in this word before you died... it must be nice.

she can't find it in her to be bitter. really.

═══════════════

FIRST CHIPPING

if he were to look at what society deemed as a bastard husband, then that requisite would have had his face plastered as a prime example. the type of husband that any aspiring groom should not ever become.

though for those who were in the know, mainly his wife and himself, there was more to their marriage than what everyone saw. it didn't take long for either of them to recognise that this union had been a discreet way for them to hide away from what kids like them were supposed to act like in this rigid society.

they've stuck by each other as the only people who would have understood each other the best. so now that tang bo was finally finding the happiness he should have sought after all this time, he was always feeling the guilt of leaving her behind on her own in that house that had always been too big for just the two of them.

she has yet to utter a word of displeasure to him. that's how she was — the quiet one who kept to herself, letting things happen until the worst had passed over. it was one of the little things he detested about his wife.

he can't bring himself to really hate her. there was a time when he had opened up his heart and confided in her about some things he's been scared to come to terms with. the type of realisation one has from a very early age and has buried deep within themselves to fit into society and the expectations people had of him.

his wife had held onto his hand wordlessly, squeezing it ever so often to assure his nerves. he's never been this vulnerable before. he never thought things like this could be so frightening.

she had something to say too. but not right now. this was his moment, she's not so tactless to take it away. she can't stop thinking that if they'd been more honest earlier, then perhaps they wouldn't have hurt the other unknowingly all these years.

the walls they'd built between them were starting to come down a little — who would have thought they'd find out something new after decades of marriage.

═══════════════

COMING TO TERMS

she couldn't really understand why her husband was loudly crying into her shoulder. her good robes were getting wet from his tears and snot. how did this almost seventy-year-old man have no shred of shame — in front of the attendants no less?

she had given him her blessings earlier today, and he was now free to pursue the swordsman so why was he not going off to sweep his beloved off his feet and ride off into the sunset or whatever those romance novels say?

wife, you know you aren't obligated to be bound to me any more right? if you wish, you are also free to love someone else...

tang bo managed to say between sobs.

...thank you for your consideration.

she hesitated. what did he mean by her being free to love someone else? she can't think of a time when she'd ever felt that kind of emotion, at least not the one that every person around her was chasing after, even back when she was in her youth.

there was always a disconnect whenever the other wives she'd corresponded with ranted and raved about their husband's infidelities or little annoyances. they were always on the verge of hysteria, driven to that point out of love for their husbands they said. and she'd think about how foolish it was.

thank goodness her relationship with tang bo had not been built on a foundation that flimsy. rather, it was one based on mutual respect. which was far better—

ah but. he must have felt trapped in this marriage. not everyone in the world was like her. not everyone had been born with the inability to be like everyone else and it was unfair how they all just instinctively know what romance and lovers-love is. so to have held him back in this loveless situation for this long was a cruel thing.

the good wife, the understanding wife, the kindhearted wife. it's all that she's been the majority of her life. she doesn't know what else there was to her now that she's let-go of these titles. she's free to do what she wants. but what does a caged bird set free know?

she had packed lightly, the clothes on her back were lighter and less showy, the stark opposite of what she used to wear as the daughter-in-law of the tang family. there was not much hesitation as she donned the weimao — it's white veil falling past her knees. she looked at the darkened courtyard of their estate.

she's received enough goodwill in this lifetime. she prayed at the ancestral shrine one last time, asking them to look after everyone now that she's going off.

═══════════════

MORNING AFTER

tang bo awoke to the frantic bustle of the maids outside his room. turns out his wife had gone missing overnight without anyone noticing. he walked out of his room, wandering around the family estate until he reached the main halls where it was quieter. no one was allowed in here outside of events except for the elders and the main family.

he picks up the tattered note that had fluttered to his feet — eyes widening as he takes in the words written on it.

tch, that woman could still pull some tricks at her old age huh. he didn't think she'd still know how to surprise him. the paper was burned away on a candle flame. he wonders if he'd see his wandering wife on his travels with his taoist-hyung. would they all share a drink at the teahouse when they do? oh he hoped so. there's not much things to look forward to at this age, so at least give him some stories and a meal.

ah. he should let his taoist-hyung know about this too. before it slipped out of that old head of his.

[blvck-minou]

Lover be good to me

[im-kinno-hello]

and if i made a comic about them making a blog for the weird demon dog they found in the woods just because they are being brainwashed by it and it told them they need to spread the word of what word they don’t even fucking know?

[doubletroubletag]

i got almost all the next month's updates sketched! i'm not doing the last one simply because i am feeling the burn out of composing these pages. (each have at least 6 pages, a good amount have the max 12!)

that said, these are all just sketched. i want to do it in this order: backgrounds -> lineart -> transcript. i got other projects i need to work on (winning hat and NightFell) so I can't really guarantee when Tag will start to update again.

[qoldenskies]

You dropped out of school?????

yeah, i went and got a GED. it was because i had unmedicated adhd as well as what in retrospect was probably just a mix of undiscovered dyscalculia (i cannot do basic addition, it made math impossible) and also. idk ocd. i genuinely still cannot identify the source of my problem, because starting 2021 i just began to have severe panic attacks every single day i went to school. and i dont mean one, i had up to three or four a day. the second i felt slightly frustrated or overwhelmed i'd just start crying and wouldn't stop, and we tried things like a 504 (which most of my teachers didn't even adhere to, even when i told them i had it lmao) or even putting me on antidepressants and it didnt work, unfortunately.

in retrospect its just such a shocking thing to me, because ive been out of school since 2023 and it doesnt feel like its something that happened, like,,, to me. i'd say that i might have trauma around school, but its not a traumatic subject to talk about. you dont need to give me any condolences i have a very clinical view on it. im happy i dropped out!

[riiver000]

HELPE ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESIGN but im like kind of thinking of an adventure time au where its kinda mechanically and steampunky. maybe ill do more with it im only rlly posting this cause i like how the finn full body looks LOLLL

ohhh steampunk save meeeee ouhhhhhhhhh (:

[sunlitlemonade]

i want to write jason & natalia but head so scattered.....

[insertcoolermonikerhere]

had a lovely little conversation with @xicheesecake that essentially amounted to me yelling incoherently at her but i love love love breath of the wild and will never never be normal about it so all of YOU have to suffer. :).

[himbo-in-limbo]

Chica: We’re finally meeting our new band member today!…..how are you feeling Freddy?

Freddy: Do not worry Chica, I am alright! I look forward to meeting our new band mate.

Staff: Alright! Your new friends just about ready! Are you guys excited to meet them?!

Roxy: Hurry up and show them already! I’ve still gotta do my hair before the show!

Freddy: Aha, Roxy be nice!

Staff: Okay then! Come on out Monty! He’ll be your guy’s new guitarist!

Chica: (why is he wearing HIS glasses….) OH!…it’s nice to meet you!…

Roxy: Lookin cool newbie!……

Monty: Nice ta meet cha ladies! I don’t do good at introductions so let’s just Rock n’ Roll!

Staff: In honor of your “Mentor” you’ll be using his guitar! Show starts in 15 so why don’t you all get acquainted in the meantime?

Monty: Heh, Thanks.

Freddy: (Why... did they give him those….)……(they were his…..they were!-…..I can’t think about this now…)

Freddy: Welcome Monty!….it’s nice to meet you!…

(End.)

[danothan]

Just reading some comics and saw a panel I thought you might like. :)

ah fuck, characters reminiscing always get to me ;__;

but i will never ever get over that fond way these two talk to and abt each other. especially when they’re poking fun, you can just hear the love in their voice it’s SICK.

the halbarry love language is annoying each other, but even more than that, it’s being each other’s exceptions

[deoidesign]

.