#I’m still nonbinary either way

[iamthemaestro]

I realize I think a lot about my life in terms of “maybe when I’m a boy…” my brother in christ. maybe you are an EGG

[blushedfemmes]

that one post that’s like “being called masc instead of butch makes me feel like a dying animal” except it’s me with the word nonbinary

[fuckdamn]

everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing

[giggleesblog]

.

[rightventricle]

i think the trans medicalist community and the kalvin garrahs of the internet actually fucked with me more than i like to admit

[dyelwi]

Can’t do this shit anymore (being named Dylan)

[ilovedthestars]

A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.

This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.

But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?

I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.

There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.

I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.

We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.

[drdemonprince]

I feel like one of the hardest truths I had to accept after realizing I was nonbinary was the fact that the world would still gender me and force me into the binary, beyond my control. And it was one of many things that led me to transition. After all if there would be places I was to be gendered, I’d prefer to be gendered as male instead of female. It gives me control & I don’t have to tell people how to gender me if I’m not in a safe place. Given the option, I still prefer they/them, but it’s really nice that he/him becomes a default now with strangers instead of she/her. It really does help meeting other queer people. Like loads of trans masc guys & trans fem girls who also are still nonbinary, regardless of presentation. I hope anon can find supportive places & find out their way through this very binary world

yeah this is exactly what I landed on personally as well. being non-binary was just completely structurally illegible and barely even respected by the queer affirming people around me. taking hormones felt like I was actually taking charge of my transition in a way that wearing pronoun pins and trying to push people to respect me just never seem to satisfy, and I found that conceiving of myself as a guy worked out really well. and being able to actually manipulate how people view you and interpret you is a real fucking head rush. I understand that won't work for everyone, because some people really don't align with either binary gender at all or have a form of bilateral dysphoria that will be activated by whatever kind of embodiment they have. and that really fucking sucks. there is only so much we can individually do to manage this stuff in this world and it can be very disempowering and upsetting.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Tense

Blue Jones x Nathan Bateman x nonbinary afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Day 11: Threesome

Summary: Nathan wants you to look after a new android. Maybe the android wants to look after you too.

A/N: Thank you so much @thexsanctuaryx for beating and saving me as always!

Warnings: kissing, pet names, fingering, oral (both receiving), anal sex, p in v sex, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 4593

“Nathan, well, this is… this is, erm…” You stare at the android in front of you. “Unexpected?” 

Nathan grins, clearly amused at your reaction. 

“What’s, erm, hmm,” you gesture with your hands. “Why does he look like you?” 

Nathan snorts, “does he?”

You give him a glare. The android obviously looks very much like him. 

“Also,” Nathan leans back against the wall and crosses his arms, all smug smiles and self-assuredness. “How do you know it’s a he? Kind of assuming gender here aren’t you?” 

Your glare darkens. “If that’s a dig at me, then-”

Nathan quickly holds up his hands. “No,” he smiles kindly. “No dig. Just teasing, he’s a he.” 

You nod. “What’s his name?”

“Doesn’t have one yet, that’s your job.” 

The android is currently powered off, eyes closed and standing perfectly still. He’s a little uncanny to say the least, being so motionless, not even breathing. Not that he needs to breathe but…

He doesn’t look exactly like Nathan either, he’s clean shaven for starters. Which is a small mercy, you don’t know how you’d deal with a robot that was his spitting image. And his hair is slightly longer, about a ¾ of an inch. He’s also two inches shorter than Nathan. 

“You made him smaller?”

“Sorry?” 

“His height.” You can’t keep the amusement out of your voice. 

Nathan shrugs. “Unintentional.” You know he’s lying, but you don’t push it. 

You hum an affirmative. 

“So… why does he look like you?”

“Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Isn’t it?” 

You roll your eyes, used to Nathan’s unique ways of communicating. 

“I like R2D2, Marvin, Robot in Lost in Space. You know, robots that look like robots? Not people.” 

Nathan laughs. “You’re just getting uncanny vibes because he’s turned off and looks dead but still standing. The second he’s online you’ll feel different.”

You give him a not so convinced look. 

“I promise– he blinks, he mimics breathing, even has a heartbeat.”

“What?” 

Nathan nods, “you can take his temperature and everything.” 

“Okay… so he’s obviously very impressive, you’re a genius, blah, blah, blah.”

Nathan snorts. “But?”

“But what do you want me to do, besides name him, I mean?” 

“Well, that depends on what you want to do with him.” He grins and you're so close to getting fired for hitting your boss. 

“Nathan,” you say warningly.  

His smile widens and he chuckles. “I’m playing, I’m playing. Don’t be so uptight.” He doesn’t give you enough of a pause to say something back to him. “Talk with him, socialise with him, show him the ropes like he’s a new employee.” 

“Am I getting fired?” You joke. 

Nathan laughs again. “Look, I just need someone other than me to interact with him and give me some feedback, yeah? And since you’re the only other person here?” 

You nod. “No problem.” But you pause as a small worry digs into the back of your mind. 

Nathan answers your question before you can even ask it, seemingly reading your thoughts. “He can’t hurt you.”

“You Asimov Lawed him?”

“Pretty much.”

You nod again. “Okay.” 

“I’ll leave you both to get acquainted.” Nathan heads for the door. 

“Nathan?” 

He turns. 

“Does he know he’s a robot?”

Nathan nods.

“And that you made him?”

Nathan nods again, “I have spoken with him you know.” He shakes his head as he leaves. 

“Oh, you’ve spoken with him,” you mutter under your breath, but there’s no fire to it. “Couldn’t give him a name though.”

You sigh and approach the android. You place your hand on the startup panel, it blinks into life as it recognises your palm print. You press a few commands and there’s a small click and hum.

The android opens his eyes, blinking like he’s just woken up. He’s dressed in a white t-shirt and white jogging bottoms. His chest rises and falls, just like Nathan said it would. 

You give him a smile and a little wave. “Hello.”

He tilts his head for a second and then smiles back and says your name. 

A little flash of surprise crosses your face before you recover. “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. It’s, erm, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“And to finally meet you, Nathan’s spoken about you at length.” 

That doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence. 

“I believe you are supposed to give me a name?” He asks, there’s a slight up turn of his lips that’s so completely Nathan like that you almost do a double take. 

“Yeah, I,” you pause, your eyes falling on the BlueBook logo on the wall. “How about Blue?” 

“Blue.” He repeats and smiles. “Yeah, I like that.” 

You spend the rest of the day showing Blue around the facility, introducing him to systems as Nathan had introduced you when you first started working here. 

Nathan stays out of the way, hidden up in his office. Though you’re sure he’s probably watching you on the monitors with interest. 

Blue is quite charming, his voice is a little different from Nathan, but not by much. He’s quieter though, but with a good sense of humour. The differences and similarities between them both are interesting. Part of you wonders if this is how Nathan sees himself, or if he unintentionally programmed the likenesses in. 

It’s only later on in the day that things start to get… strange. 

You’re at your office desk, just working on a small piece of programming. 

Blue is meant to be going over the safety protocol for the building – something you had to do when you started. But you hear his light footsteps come up behind you. 

You pause in typing, but don’t look around. “You okay?”

“Mhmm.” 

You glance up at him. He’s seemingly interested in your screen. “It’s just a prototype I was working on for-”

He puts his hand on your shoulder, still looking at the screen. “It’s very compelling.” He squeezes your shoulder lightly. 

“Blu-”

“You seem tense?” He looks down at you. “Are you stressed?”

“I don’t think…”

“There’s a lot of tension here.” He presses his thumb into your back and rubs, you can feel the muscle relax instantly. 

You swallow and when you don’t try to stop him again Blue moves directly behind you, placing his other hand on your shoulder. 

He slowly starts to massage your neck and upper back. Taking his time and applying just the right amount of pressure to quickly make you feel like liquid. 

You let out a small sigh. 

“Feel okay?” He asks. There’s a slight edge to his voice, something you can’t quite put your finger on. 

“Yeah, good, really good.” You try to keep your words quick and short to save from moaning over how wonderful it feels. It was like he could pull apart every knot and ache. Nathan must have programmed some kind of pressure point, masseuse knowledge. Though why, you had no idea. 

“Good.” He whispers, his voice low. 

You can’t focus on anything else but the feel of his hands, how warm they are, how life like they are. 

“Move forward a little.”

You lean without even thinking and his hands travel a little further down your spine. 

This time you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. 

You snap your mouth shut the second you realise, heat rising to your face. “I-”

“It’s fine, perfectly normal reaction, I’m glad you’re relaxing.” His voice is low, and his fingers don’t stop. 

You spend the next twenty minutes getting the best massage of your life and keeping one hand fixed permanently over your mouth. 

.

You had made a not so subtle exit after that. Politely keeping out of Blue’s way (hiding) for the rest of the afternoon. 

Part of you wanted to go and speak to Nathan, but you weren’t sure if you could face the teasing. 

‘Perfectly normal reaction,’ ugh. You could picture Nathan’s smug smile perfectly. Choruses of ‘oh, you got turned on by an android that looks like me?’ No thanks. 

Though he probably would tease the shit out of you later on, that was a Future You problem. And if you could keep it a Future You problem for as long as possible, you would. 

Around 7pm your hunger got the better of you and you made your way to the kitchen, hoping to scavenge some of Nathan’s secret snack supply that he thought was well hidden. 

A step into the room you stop dead in your tracks. 

Blue was at one of the counters, chopping vegetables. 

He turned and smiled at you before you even had a chance to think about turning on your heels and making a beeline out of there. 

“Oh, hi Blue.” You try to sound casual, but the awkwardness radiates out of you like a beacon. 

He smiles and looks back at the vegetables. “Are you hungry?” 

You nod, promptly realising he couldn’t see your reaction and quickly speaking. “Yes, yeah, just, just gonna…” You trail off and pause. “Do you eat?” 

Blue laughs and shakes his head. “This is for you.”

“For me?” 

He nods and glances at you again, all smiles and seductive eyes- No, do not think about him that way. 

“You tend to eat your evening meal around this time.” 

“Oh,” you take a few steps closer and lean on the counter next to him. “That’s really kind of you, you didn’t need to. Wait, how do you know that?” 

Blue raises his eyebrows and gives you a small smirk.

“Nathan, got it.” 

“He said you liked pasta, so.”

You pause, looking at the meal he’s preparing. You don’t remember the last time someone cooked for you, outside of Nathan. And that was only because he was eating too. 

“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You finally say. 

“I wanted to.” 

The food is good, even if Blue sits a little too close. His knee brushing against yours under the table. He talks to you about relatively normal things, work related, while leaning his elbow on the table, his chin resting on his hand. 

He listens intently, his eyes never leaving your face. It’s uncanny being watched so attentively. You ask Blue a few questions but he always manages to steer the conversation back to you. Another Nathan like attribute. 

Long after the meal is over you stretch, there’s a small popping sound as your shoulder clicks. 

Blue frowns and stands. He touches your spine and shoulder blade again with those precise fingers. “Is your back still causing you discomfort?” 

“I,” you swallow. “You don’t need to, it’s fine, really.” Heat rises to your face. 

“Nonsense, you still have a lot of tension here.” He presses his thumb firmly into your skin and you sigh. 

He massages the area for a few seconds. “Your stress levels are still high, come,” he holds out his hand to you expectantly. 

There is a disastrously long second where you hear ‘come’ as ‘cum’. “I, erm, what?” 

He takes your hand and encourages you to stand. You follow him, a little too flustered to object. 

Blue leads you to the living room and gestures to the sofa. “Lay down on your stomach.” 

“Blue-”

“I need you flat to relax you properly.” He smiles at you expectantly, his eyes dark and bordering on mischievous. 

You stare for a second before managing a small nod, about to speak your agreement when Blue frowns as if a thought has just occurred to him. 

“The space isn’t ideal…” He looks straight at you. “A bed would be better.”

A bed would be better. “Erm…”

“So you can lay flat.” He stares at you expectantly. Almost goading you. If you agreed to the sofa, why not the bed? What implications are you inferring? 

You give him a tight smile. Nathan and his stupid mind games. He did this just to see if he could get you to crack. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Okay.” The word comes out more like a squeak than you hoped it would. 

. 

Blue leads you back to your room, opening the door as if he was inviting you into his space, not yours. 

He waits for you to climb onto the bed and get comfortable, lying on your stomach, your head resting on your crossed arms. 

And then he starts slowly on your shoulders. That same deep press from before that has you screwing up your eyes and burying your face. It’s barely been a minute before he stops and you nearly groan at the loss. 

“This would be better without your t-shirt.” 

You pause, your mind failing to translate his words for a few seconds. “Oh, erm,” it was perfectly reasonable, wasn’t it? People had professional massages all the time, they didn’t have them while their clothing was still on. “Okay.” 

He turns, politely as you sit up and the anxiety in your chest eases. You were making this into something it wasn’t. He was just trying to help. 

You tug off your t-shirt and drop it onto the floor off the side of your bed and lay back down. “All done.” You say, trying and failing to hide the little shake in your voice. 

Blue turns, his fingers barely touch your skin before he’s lightly caressing just under your bra strap. “May I?” 

You pause, then nod. He unclips it, letting the straps fall to the side before he continues to softly caress. 

It feels good, his fingers dig in and work out the tension, making you liquid and weak under his hands. 

Heat starts to pull at your stomach, sinking lower and lower. Wetness starts to build between your legs. You shouldn’t be-

“Oh!” A sudden gasp leaves your lips as Blue’s right hand slides quickly down, underneath your jogging bottoms and underwear, over the swell of your ass and straight to your core. “Blue!” It feels too good. “I-”

“You have so much tension.” He breathes close to your ear, his fingers trace along your entrance, teasing lightly. “I’m meant to help you relieve it.” 

“Blue…” You bite your lip, instinctively pressing closer to his fingers. You shouldn’t… Fuck Nathan was probably watching, probably-

“Let me help you,” he whispers low in your ear, his warm breath searing your skin. “I’ve been given direct instructions to help you relax.” He lightly rubs your clit, slow and gentle and it makes you jolt. 

“Blue, fuck-”

He kisses your temple. “Tell me to stop at any time, and I will. I only want to please you.” 

Fuck, if his soft, deep voice didn’t nearly make you come on the spot. 

You nod, swallowing thickening. “Please, I’d like… it’s been a while… and…”

“Of course,” he moves dizzyingly quickly, short and precise as he grabs hold of your hips and flips you over onto your back. You don’t even get a chance to let out a gasp of surprise before he’s pulling off your jogging bottoms and underwear and drops them to the floor. 

He rubs his hands up your legs, digging into your inner thighs and spreads you wide before he dives in and latches onto your clit. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, your hips rolling up to his warm eager mouth, your body moving completely on autopilot. 

He sucks, for a few seconds before teasing it out and lapping, alternating between broad licks and that gentle suction that is dragging you so quickly to the edge. His dark eyes watch your reactions intently, monitoring and adjusting based on the smallest reactions. 

He trails his right hand further down your thigh, pressing lightly at your core before sipping two fingers inside. He hums when you moan, the smallest smile pulling at his features. 

Pleasure twists and coils as sweat beads on your forehead. The stretch sends a shiver along your nerves, makes your air catch in your throat.

“Blue, I- oh fuck!”

He moves his fingers, tapping and stroking so quickly on your inside walls that it is like a buzz of vibration right against your g spot. 

You sob out his name, your thighs shaking as you come dizzyingly quickly, pulled over the edge by his precise movements. 

As you breathe heavily, your mind a little short circuited by your orgasm and lagging behind, Blue helps you out of the rest of your clothes, leaving you completely bare before he strips off his own. 

He kneels between your legs, looking down at you with soft eyes as he gently touches your cheek. “More?” 

“I…” You trail off, surprised by the sweetness in his gaze and distracted by his naked chest and warm soft skin. 

You lightly touch his ribs and he smiles. 

“What… what do you want?” You ask, your voice embarrassingly small. 

“That’s a dangerous question.” His smile widens, his tone teasing. 

“Why?”

He tilts his head to the side ever so slightly. “Because I don’t want to stop until you can’t form words.” 

You swallow and glance down as he strokes himself with one hand. He’s impressively large, standing tall and erect. There’s copious amounts of precum leaking from the tip, which you quickly realise is, in fact, lube. He smears it down himself, watching you as you watch him.

You shift a little, widening your legs even though you don’t realise you're doing it. “Does it, will it feel good for you?” 

Blue’s smile widens again, his eyes dark as he leans down. He guides himself to your pussy, pushing his tip against your clit before he drags his cock down and notches the head at your core. “Oh yes.” He mummers his voice low. He stills for half a second, studying your face until he finds what he was looking for. 

He pushes in slowly, moving his hands so that one rests on the mattress and the other on your hip, pinning you down as he slips inside. 

You gasp, letting out a soft ‘oh’ at the stretch. 

“You can take it.” He mutters, voice velvet soft. “You’re very well lubricated even without mine.” 

You wriggle against him, squeezing his biceps, both trying to get close to and escape from the pleasure, your eyes screwed shut.

As he finally sinks in the last inch you moan, it’s like you can feel him in your heart, your lungs. Pushing perfectly at the centre of you and pulsing. 

“You find me attractive?” Blue asks, his head cocked ever so slightly to the side, a cheeky smile on his face as he rocks slowly. Short, powerful thrusts that move the bed and make you cry out in pleasure. 

You nod, trying to move with him but he is well and truly fucking you into the mattress, and it’s all you can do to just hold on for the ride.

“So, you must find Nathan attractive too?” Blue teases, his voice even and unhindered despite his deep bucks as he sinks in and out of you. 

You whine, your back arching, “Blue,” you squirm, gasp at a partially deep thrust that robs you of all thought and makes your toes curl. You cling onto him, sliding a hand up to the back of his neck. 

“It’s alright,” he soothes, leaning down quickly to kiss your lips and swallow your moans, “I’ve got you.” And that’s when he really starts to move. 

You all but scream at the rapid snap of his hips, pleasure turning your bones to liquid as he fucks into you, pushing you higher and higher as he hits every spot perfectly inside. 

You can’t speak, can’t form words as he presses every single sensation out of you except for euphoria, playing your body perfectly to his wishes. 

Your skin is on fire, every nerve tingling with the onslaught of your impending orgasm. He rolls his hips, the sound of his thrusts and your cries mixing. It’s so hot and wet between your legs, slippery as he just glides along your walls and sinks impossibly deep. 

He kisses your lips, nips and bites your jaw and then sucks one nipple into his mouth as his fingers pluck and play with the other. 

Your thighs are shaking, your moans growing in pitch as you desperately hold onto him, nonsense slipping from your mouth as your mind liquifies. 

You don’t even hear the door open, too lost in your pleasure. But Blue does. 

He looks up, but doesn’t falter in his movements, doesn’t move his mouth from your skin. 

Nathan smirks. “Don’t stop on my account.” 

You gasp, your eyes snapping open to see Nathan standing by the foot of your bed. “Natha-” You try to stammer, but Blue grinds his hips down and your cry cuts off the rest of his name. 

“Enjoying him?” Nathan asks nonchalantly, like he was asking about the weather as he climbs onto the bed. He lays next to you on his side, his elbow propped up so he can rest his head and still watch your face. 

“I…” You whine, you blink heavily, your mind isn’t working. Isn’t functioning at all, all you can do is feel and it feels so, so good. 

Blue hums as he laps at your breast, his hips pistoning at an unforgiving pace, not giving you even a second of reprieve from the pleasure. 

Nathan grins, he shifts closer, his voice low. “I knew you would.” He swallows, watching for the expressions on your face. He darts his tongue out to trace his bottom lip, thoughts racing. 

“They like you.” Blue mutters, moving his mouth away from your skin just enough to be heard clearly. 

You want to ask how he knows, what gave you away. But you don’t even get the chance to try.

Nathan presses a sweet kiss to your lips, groaning when you reciprocate and grab the back of his neck with one hand to pull him closer. He slips his tongue past your lips, stroking your cheek tenderly. 

It’s a vast juxtaposition to how Blue is fucking the very life out of you. 

You whine, your muscles tensing as you get close. 

Nathan pulls back just enough to speak, his voice thick and hazy. “Make them come.” And then kisses you deeply once more.

Blue hums, pulling his mouth from your chest without slowing his manic thrusts. He slips his hand under Nathan’s shorts and Nathan lets out a surprised groan as Blue palms his erection. 

But he doesn’t stop kissing you. Instead, he helps Blue pull them down his legs before he plucks at your nipples while he licks into your mouth.

Blue twists his torso that would have been impossible for anyone save a contortionist and licks a strip up Nathan’s hard cock before he takes him deep into his throat. 

Your toes curl, the pleasure drowning you as you shake and spasm. You whine in Nathan’s mouth, his beard tickling your skin, and his lips muffling your moans. 

You come hard, the sensation hitting you all at once and then flooding you. It robs you completely of thought, whiting out your vision as you’re swept away completely by pleasure. 

Nathan thrusts into Blue’s mouth lazily, pulling back so he can watch your face as you come apart. He bites his lip, groaning for a second before he pulls Blue up to watch too. 

“Fucking beautiful,” Nathan whispers. 

Blue slows his hips as you relax under him, gently coming to a stop. He kisses your cheek as you open your eyes, while Nathan sucks at your neck. 

“You out for the count, or can I be gentle with you?” Nathan mutters. 

You breathe heavily, sweat cooling on your skin, your muscles aching. But you don’t get to answer before Blue is doing it for you. 

“Very gentle… if they agree.” He kisses your cheek again as he slowly pulls out of you and you whine softly. He rubs the inside of your thighs to ease the burn as he gets up.

“Very gentle,” Nathan repeats, sitting up and pulling off his vest and wriggling himself completely free of his shorts. “Very, very.” He moves between your legs, watching you with soft doe eyes. “Can I?”

You nod. But he tuts.

“Gonna need you to say something, sweetheart.” He smiles.

“Yes.” You say, giving him a little look that makes him laugh. 

“Haven't had the sass fucked out of you then. Good.” He kneels between your legs, his heavy cock in hand. 

You glance down and can’t help but smile and shake your head when you see him, he’s exactly the same size as Blue.

“What?” He grins. 

“Of course, you have a big dick.” 

Nathan puffs out his chest a little. 

“He made me two inches shorter,” Blue says, “but he-”

“I left the inches where it counts.” Nathan snaps playfully. “Now are you gonna put those inches to good use or what?” 

Blue smiles sarcastically sweetly at him. “Of course I am.” He takes hold of Nathan’s cock with one hand and lays the other flat on his lower back, guiding him towards you. It’s Blue that strokes Nathan through the creaminess of your release before he pushes in, he keeps Nathan slow and careful, sinking in until you're stuffed full. 

You let out a soft moan, you’re sore but it’s nice, more than nice. Pleasure burning just at the edge of your senses. 

Nathan groans, his muscles twitching under the force to stay still. “Fuck, you feel amazing.” 

“Gentle.” Blue whispers in his ear, the smallest hint of a warning in his voice that sends a shot of arousal along Nathan’s spine. 

He nods, his eyes lidded. 

You're a little surprised when Blue rubs the lube from his cock over two fingers and eases them inside Nathan, forcing him down on top of you, his chest pressed to yours. 

The moan Nathan lets out is sinful, deep as it rumbles against your skin. 

You grab hold of him, wrapping your hands around his back as he buries his face into your neck, every breath coming out as a whine and grunt. 

Blue smiles at you as he opens Nathan up for barely a minute before he guides his own cock inside. “He’s used to taking it.” He wriggles his eyebrows at you and you bite back a smile. 

Blue rocks gently, quite unlike the rapid thrusts he’s used before. He barely pulls out but swirls his hips, the force of his movement moves Nathan in turn and you. 

It’s slow, syrupily sweet with every push and pull. You grind up, moaning when Nathan simultaneously rubs against your clit with his pubic bone and the head of his thick cock slides against your walls. 

“Think you can come again?” Blue asks you, one hand between Nathan’s shoulder blades, while he links fingers with you with the other. 

“Ugh, please,” Nathan groans into your neck. He feels like jelly sandwiched between the both of you, the pleasure making him lightheaded. 

You nod, biting your lip. It’s building in a rush, so close to boiling over. 

Blue smiles and squeezes your hand. 

It only takes a few more languid rocks for the pressure on your clit to explode. You come with a cry, shaking. This one isn’t as hard, it doesn’t shatter your very being but it’s long and drawn out, thick and molten and leaves you exhausted. 

Blue thrusts three times harshly hitting Nathan’s prostate each time as you squeeze and pulse around his cock and he comes with a deep moan, emptying himself and holding you tight.

It’s only then that Blue allows himself to follow you both into pleasure, moaning both of your names happily.

Thank you for reading!

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[beneathsilverstars]

Can you pls explain to me the proper way to raise a child gender neutrally, especially in a world that loves to push gender? It’s something I always wanted to do when I have my own kid but I’m scared the world is just not ready for that kind of thing and my child will get bullied by other kids/adults.

Unfortunately the feasibility of this does depend on where you live. I’m lucky to live in a fairly liberal college town — the state as a whole is awful, but in this town we have drag shows and a huge pride parade and rainbow stickers in shop fronts. There are still transphobic people here of course, but they generally know that being too overt about it will have social repercussions.

However! It doesn’t necessarily have to be an all-or-nothing thing! When your kid's a baby it’s up to you how you refer to them while in different situations, so you’re free to adjust your language as seems necessary. And then when they’re old enough to care, well, at that point it’s not up to you anyway! (My kid has decided she’s a nonbinary girl, hence the she/hers in this post.)

So here’s a list of things my partners and I did, and you can decide which things seem safe / worth it to you.

We gave her a name that doesn’t have strong gender connotations.

We shopped in the boys and girls sections equally, aiming for a roughly equal number of fancy little button ups vs fancy little dresses, pink diapers vs blue diapers, etc.

We told friends and family that we were planning to raise her gender neutrally and use they/them pronouns, until/unless she expressed a preference otherwise.

Our explanation to adults was along the lines of “We don't want to assign a gender to our child, because we think gender should be a freely-made choice rather than something that is assumed based on body type. So, we're raising them gender neutrally until they decide what they want to be. We’re not assigning them 'nonbinary', either; we’re using they/them to help avoid gendered bias, so they’ll get to experience feminine, masculine, and ungendered options equally. That way every option will be open to them as they learn their own preferences and decide who they want to be.”

Our explanation to kids was along the lines of “I don’t know yet if they’re a boy or a girl or something else! When babies are born, the doctor guesses what gender they’ll be. But sometimes the doctor guesses wrong, and the kid grows up to be a different gender. We decided not to guess what gender our baby will be, because we want to let them choose.” This usually makes perfect sense to 4-5 year olds! (Younger kids might not entirely understand or care, and older kids might have more questions.) However, you gotta be careful with this, bc even some people who are okay with you explaining your own adult transed gender won’t like you implying to their children that everyone should have that option and the whole system is bs. The less objectionable explanation is “I’m going to wait until they’re older to ask them whether they’re a boy or a girl.” Or even answering "What gender is your baby?" with "What do you think?" and then "Maybe!"

We didn’t announce her agab. When people asked, we refused to answer, more or less politely depending on the vibes. If you really want to make them feel bad you can give them a weird look and say “My child’s body is none of your business??” but there’s also the gentler “I don’t think it really matters!” We did fill out her assigned sex for official paperwork, like doctor's forms and legal government stuff, but for more casual forms we sometimes skipped the question or wrote in "we are raising them gender-neutrally" or "they/them".

We generally didn’t correct strangers or explain it to them unless they asked. Nothing wrong with some people assuming “she” and some people assuming “he”, as long as it’s not always just one or the other. If a stranger asked about their gender, I'd go for a quick "We're raising them gender-neutrally." I did also have to clarify fairly often that I only have one kid, when I talked about them and people assumed the "they" was plural, but that was never a big deal it was just kinda funny.

We did correct friends and family, since if they used gendered pronouns it was an active choice or mistake rather than a clueless assumption. Most of our circles are queer so most people were chill about it, but some family members changed one diaper and immediately assigned a pronoun set. We didn't think it was worth fighting over or limiting access, since it's not like they were disrespecting the baby's preference. But we did keep correcting them / emphasizing the neutral pronoun in our replies.

When she started preschool, we preemptively explained to her teachers that we're raising her gender-neutrally, and to please refer to her using "they/them" unless she said otherwise, and to avoid splitting the class into boys vs girls teams or anything like that. Again, fairly liberal town, and the preschool even has a teacher who uses they/them, so the teachers agreed without issue. iirc, they messed up occasionally but they were making an effort, and again I wasn't too bothered as long as my kid wasn't.

When she started using she/her sometimes, I let her teachers know, and told them to follow her lead. When we talked with friends and family we just used the right pronouns ourselves, and explained if they asked or it came up. And then once she was consistently using just she/her, we made a facebook post about it and started correcting people with a quick "She actually decided to use she/her, now."

And then here's how we talked about gender with her, specifically.

When she was old enough to start wondering who's a boy and who's a girl and what that even means, we explained, "Some people are girls, some people are boys, some people are neither or both or something else. I decided I don't want to be a boy or a girl, I'm nonbinary instead. You can decide if you want to be a boy or a girl or nonbinary or something else, too." and "Well, maybe that person's a boy, but they could be something else; I don't know because I don't know them. I don't know their name or anything either." We decided not to explain how differently most of society treats gender, the stereotypes of gender presentation, etc, until she started noticing that stuff herself. Explaining that it's wrong still involves putting those ideas into her head, which was going to happen pretty soon anyway regardless. Might as well start with a foundation of pure gender anarchy while we can.

When she noticed that every other kid she's met already had a gender, we explained "A lot of parents guess what gender their kid will be, and sometimes they guess right or sometimes they guess wrong. [Friend]'s mom guessed that she was a girl, and [friend] agrees! But when Mama was a kid people guessed she was a boy, and then she grew up and decided she's actually a girl. We didn't want to guess for you and maybe get it wrong, so we decided to wait until you were old enough to decide for yourself what gender you want to be."

Occasionally when the topic came up, we would ask if she felt like she wanted to be a girl or boy or something else, or specifically ask if she liked "they/them" or wanted to use "she/her" or "he/him". When she was ~2, she didn't entirely understand and didn't care. When she was ~3, she occasionally said she wanted to be a girl or use she/her, but immediately changed her mind as soon as we actually referred to her as such. (This is quite in-character for her, because she's generally averse to big changes and doesn't like to do anything she doesn't feel totally confident about.) When she was ~4 she finally stuck with it, and now she's a nonbinary girl who uses she/her, and her feelings about gendered terms like "daughter" still go back and forth a bit.

When she started expressing preferences in clothing, colors, etc, we just got things she liked, which ended up being dresses and sparkles.

As she started noticing gender differences, picking up stereotypes from school and media, etc, we'd address them as they came up. "Yes, a lot of people think dresses are just for girls. But I think that isn't very fair. Some boys love to wear dresses, and some girls don't, and that's just fine! It's not very nice to tell someone else what they're allowed to wear. (Unless they need certain clothes to say safe, like a jacket in the winter.)"

We also had to tell her to stop being sexist, lol. "It's fine that you think girls are awesome, they are! But boys are awesome too. It's not very nice to say you won't play with someone just because of their gender. If someone said they wouldn't play with me because I'm nonbinary, I would be so sad! If you don't want to play with [these three classmates] because they're usually too loud and rough, that's fine, but that's not because they're boys; that's because of what games they like to play. Some girls like to play loud and rough, and some boys like to be more careful and quiet like you. Can you think of any boys in your class who you like to play with sometimes? ... See, boys can like all sorts of different games, just like girls can."

We ended up getting the easiest resolution (at least for now): by the time she reached the age where kids start caring about these things, she'd started caring, and settled into being a classic girly girl (with the occasional splash of nonbinary flavor). If she'd stuck to they/them, she'd probably be starting to have a harder time in school -- definitely not full bullying, given her 12-kid 2-teacher private kindergarten class, but probably some frustration with constantly correcting people.

However... if she was more gnc, she woulda ended up that way sooner or later, anyway. If I was choosing between "she's out and proud trans and gets some shit for it" or "she's unhappy with being cis but doesn't realize she has other options," I'd always choose the former, because in that case she gets a choice. By the time kids are old enough to bully each other over gender, they're old enough to decide whether they want to be out at school, y'know? And I've always been ready to pull her from school if it ever became necessary due to peer bullying or unsupportive teachers, especially since she shares a lot of the traits that my wife got bullied for as a child.

It is possible to go 100% gender-neutral, and cut anyone out of your life who opposes it, including moving schools or even moving house if necessary. There are people who will support this choice, even cishet people who don't really get the trans thing but know that unconscious sexism can have a big effect on babies' development. Maybe more people than you think! But it depends on your local culture. And sometimes it takes a certain amount of privilege to be able to prioritize finding those people, and it's simply not worth, say, paying more to switch daycares to find a teacher who won't gender your baby. Sometimes you do have to balance your priorities, and you can't know how much balancing it will actually take until you get there.

So, overall, my advice is just to do whatever you feel comfortable with! What sounds worse to you: gendering your baby, or fighting against society's attempts to gender them? Obviously when you have a trans child you fight for them, but it's a muddier question when the child doesn't care yet. Most of our queer friends aren't going full they/them gender neutral with their kids like we did, because they don't want to have to constantly explain that on top of all the shit they deal with for being queer. Instead they're just being extra firm about shopping in both sections of the store, not falling to stereotypes, and explaining to their child that they can decide to be something else if they want.

And there's a lot of options in between -- maybe you use they/them at home, but he/him at school, or maybe even she/her at home to balance out the school. Maybe you name and dress them gender-neutrally (or both fem and masc) and don't correct any assumptions. Maybe you tell one side of the family that you're going gender anarchy neutral so they should avoid gendered terms, but you only tell the other side that you're going feminist equality so they should make sure to gift both pretend kitchen toys and pretend power tools. It's the same as deciding in what situations you want to be out vs stay stealth/closeted.

When they're a baby it doesn't matter much either way (as long as you're not being sexist in your reactions to their behavior) because they're a baby, they could not care less. And then when they're old enough to pick their gender, you're hopefully giving them that choice regardless of what you did when they're a baby. It's true that the starting point you gave them may affect their gender journey, but that's true of gender neutrality as well.

So if you think it'll be too risky in the time and place in which you're raising your child, you really don't have to feel bad about not doing it. It's okay to save your energy for when your child really needs it. But if it's something you're committed to, it is possible! I'm so glad that my family was able to make this choice. I actually loved the conversations that it opened up with all sorts of people about gendering children! Even though I got in trouble one time for explaining gender too well to the children at the daycare I worked at, lol. And I know that gendering my kid as a baby would've made me more uncomfortable than any number of awkward conversations. I love knowing that her pink purple flower unicorn heart dresses are something she freely chose!!

[thefluxsystem]

10 mindsets about my DID that have helped my system:

[This is solely for the sake of sharing experiences & supplying food for thought. This post is not implying these takes are the “right way” to view systemhood.]

1. We’re individuals and we’re parts of a whole. We see each other as people in our system, but in a different way than those in their own bodies. We share a brain. We share a life. I’m me, but I’m also him/her/them at the same time. If you take a piece out of a puzzle, it doesn’t cease to exist, right? It’s still its own object. It just doesn’t make much sense when it stands alone. We need each other to be truly complete.

2. Time keeps coming. I know it’s not an unlimited resource, but it’s not scarce either. Okay, so somebody in the system didn’t get to do what they planned today. They’ll do it tomorrow. No big deal. No need to fight about it or stress over “how I’ll ever manage all this”. We’ll simply give it another shot in the morning.

3. Reality is subjective. We’re a very philosophically-inclined system, and I could write books on what “reality is subjective” means. Basically, reality is based on perception. On a societal level, it is based in the common agreement of what something is. If anyone’s perception tests the limits of this common agreement, it is labeled as untrue. This ties into why DID is largely disbelieved; it doesn’t fit in with the common reality (perception) of the average person. So it is seen as fake. And, well, if I’m going to be told I’m wrong for the most basic, inherent part of this disorder… I don’t really care if they disagree with any other aspect of it. My reality is different. That’s okay.

4. There is no original. I strongly believe the Theory of Structural Dissociation. Maybe science will prove it wrong with a more suitable theory to take its place in the future, but it’s what I roll with at the moment. Now, to us, this translates as “there is no original/we were all the original”. We’re Adventure Time fans, so we think of it like the “Mother Gum”. If all of the Mother Gum broke off into people (like PB & Neddy), no specific one of them would be “the original”. Rather, they’d all be repurposed parts of the original whole. (In a less serious way, we like to say “we all came from the primordial personality soup”.)

5. Our body is shared equally. We’ve decided our body has its own identity & “look” that helps represent us as a whole, but doesn’t take after one member specifically. In a gnawingly self-aware way, I know this is a further form of dissociation. But adopting this view changed a lot for us in a positive way. We don’t fight about hair or clothes anymore, we don’t have discomfort around our legal name, we don’t even really have struggles with gender/sexuality anymore. (We identify differently internally, but externally we identify as nonbinary & bisexual. Even if the person fronting at the moment is, for example, a gay man.)

6. Be open-minded to what happens internally. Seems straightforward enough, but we’ve wasted a lot of time trying to “make rules” for each other in the system. The biggest example I can think of is in-system dating. Around 10 years ago, as we became more aware of each other, it became clear that two system members were basically in love. We immediately became defensive. We told them that they couldn’t do that, that two system members being together was absurd & “impossible”. (This view became stronger after discovering online system spaces & “fakeclaimers” that come with it.) Though we regret it now, we shamed those two a lot in the hopes they’d drop it. They didn’t. About 3 years later it became an actual problem. They didn’t trust us; they were fronting & we were coming back to absolutely no memory of it (we usually have a vague idea at least). Eventually, they wrote us a whole thing about how they were going to be together & there was really nothing anyone could do about it, seeing as we couldn’t technically keep them apart. In modern day, we’ve had an in-system couple recently fuse. Upon reflection, we were standing in the way of genuine healing by trying to break up the first two, and we did so solely out of shame. As long as it isn’t genuinely causing harm, we try to be accepting of each other these days. This applies to a lot of other aspects; how system members appear internally, the pronouns and/or identity labels they choose, anything to do with how system members engage with each other, our differing individual perceptions of an event, etc.

7. We don’t have to like each other, but we do have to love each other. Mostly because, if we don’t, we’re holding hatred for ourself. There are certainly members of my system I would never choose to befriend if we were actually separate people, but we’re not, and we don’t get to act like we are. So even though it’s hard, I’m learning to love every piece that makes up “me”, no matter how difficult they try to make it at times.

8. Nobody’s system works like mine except for mine. Meaning, no two systems are going to be alike, and experiences aren’t often going to translate perfectly. This is true for people who aren’t systems as well— everyone’s experience is going to be different, because nobody is wired exactly the same way. Once I took that to heart, it became easier to focus on my own way of being. I could take the pieces of represented/online systemhood that resonate with me & leave the rest (which probably resonates with someone else).

9. There’s a reason for everything. This kind of ties back into the ‘we have to love each other’ thing. Each component of the system is a clue regarding how to move forward. We had someone in the system getting really uptight & controlling, to a point that it was irritating, but, taking a step back, we recognized it was a response to feeling a lack of control. Instead of simply getting angry at him for how he was acting, we were able to address the problem. My collective self is more laid-back for it.

10. It’s okay not to focus on it all. DID is a part of my life for the rest of it, whether I like it or not, but it’s nice to let it be a background thing every once in a while. Who’s fronting? Who cares. What roles do we have? I don’t know. Who’s this new person in my head? I’ll figure it out later. We’re making it through as a team, and sometimes that’s enough.

[physalian]

Fuck Grammarly

Okay I need to rant about Grammarly. A program I never used before and never will now. Doubly pissed because their ads keep interrupting my peaceful 4-hour Minecraft music session with their fake-ass influencers.

Guys. Gals. Nonbinary pals.

“As a corporate girlie—” learn how to write a proper concise email.

“I used to spend hours proofreading—” enjoy the process, and then the product.

If you hate proofreading, to the point where you’ll consult a robot to do it all for you, then you hate writing. If all you care about is the end product, sorry to say but ‘writing’ is like, 30% of writing. The other 70% is editing, by design. You’re supposed to like it.

Of course I’d love to have beautiful artwork of whatever’s in my head, but I’m going to love whatever I make a whole lot more than whatever I type into some garbage generator. Because I love the process of creation.

Do I think editing is tedious as hell? Absolutely, but it’s still a tedium that I enjoy. I like fixing my mistakes, I like improving my sentence flow. I like thinking about patterns and connections that I didn’t see before and revising and reworking until I’m satisfied.

For the humdrum day to day work emails that some of us have to write—if you’re sending out whole essays to your coworkers that you need a robot to write for you, you’re doing it wrong. Corporate emails are boring and trite, but I can type out a “hey please do this thing for me” faster than I can load up ChatGPT or Grammarly, type out my prompt, make sure the result is what I actually want to say, and then send it to my coworker. If you can’t, learn.

Apparently, Grammarly used to be a helpful way to check for spelling and grammar errors. I don’t have any issue with the AI that runs spellchecker whatsoever. I type so fast and miss typos constantly and when the spellchecker is absent, like on this website, it’s annoying af.

But that’s not what Grammarly is about anymore, and that’s not what the above ad was trying to sell you, either.

You won’t get better if you don’t practice. You won’t get better if you aren’t the one making, seeing, and fixing your mistakes. Especially if you write fiction where grammar rules are a suggestion at best. My published novel is littered with flagged words and sentence fragments that I know are technically improper English, but I sacrificed an MLA-proof paper for something fun and entertaining.

AI does not understand nuance and flavor text and aesthetic choices. It never will.

If you train yourself by using a crutch you don’t need, you will end up needing it because you’ll be too afraid to act without it.

Fuck up. Make a mess. Make mistakes. You won’t make them for long once you see them. You do not need a robot to do it for you. We’ve been writing books for hundreds of years and all the authors who came before did it just fine without a robot.

This isn’t even about writing novels, it’s about communicating in the written medium. Fucking. Learn. It’s not rocket science, it’s not coding in C++, it’s not brain surgery. It’s stringing words together in a comprehensible sentence.

And obligatory disclaimer: To anyone who has an impairment and needs these tools, this is not about you and you know it.

[mipexch]

I still need to fully watch the dev stream but genderless angels using masculine pronouns based on hierarchy is both extremely interesting & scratches that trans Gabriel itch even more. Could either interpret him as just simply being nonbinary and continuing to use he/him as a fuck you to the council and the system they adhere to while also being true to himself or just push it all the way and say he’s a transguy. Someone said something about the way the council instantly refers to him as an ‘it’ when he’s failed (while also making sense canonically with the way the hierarchy works and threatening his status with this usage) gives them the feeling of a parent unsatisfied with their child enough to ignore their wants to be referred and identify the way they choose as if it is a privilege. I think Gabriel’s connection and identity with gender is heavily up to interpretation and honestly he can be whatever you want him to be, but I’m choosing to connect his he/him genderless transness etc with things I’ve personally experienced. the trans allegory is strong with this one

[perotovar]

into the beat of the night (interlude) "skin"

pairing: frankie morales/oc!river price (they/them) rating: E (18+) content: talks about top surgery, river is afab and nonbinary, pwp, unprotected p in v, multiple orgasms (referenced), overstimulation, nipple play, dom!frankie, sub!river, praise kink, takes place sometime after ch7, could be read as standalone as long as you know that this is frankie's first relationship with a nonbinary person. i promise river will get to dom tf out of frankie next time lol word count: 1k dividers by @saradika-graphics beta: @scenaaario

a/n: written for @romanarose 's pride event, for the prompt: "transitioning". thank you so much for reading! ♥

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“Frankie, I’m–!”

“I know, amorcito,” Frankie grinned, panting into River’s ear. His lips latched onto their shoulder and sucked hard, hips hammering into them. “Another.”

River panted underneath him, face twisted in pleasure and flushed a deep red color. They gripped the sheets in tight fists and their face was buried into the pillow. Drool, sweat, and bite marks covered the soft material. “I–I can’t,” they whined.

“Do you need to stop?” Frankie breathed, slowing down the speed of his hips, but not letting up on the intensity.

“N-no! Please, keep going,” River groaned weakly. They turned their head to look back at him, eyes glazed over and pupils dilated. 

Frankie’s face softened a little as he looked them over. Their long, inky black hair was stuck to their sweaty skin, covering them like a blanket. Those big green eyes of theirs were pleading with him to let them come. 

He gripped their hips, large hands feeling more powerful than they usually did when his thumbs dug into the dips and dimples there. He turned their body onto their side and lifted one of River’s legs to rest on his shoulder. Each of his knees were planted on either side of one of their other thigh.

Frankie slowly eased back inside of them, the stretch making River moan openly. “Good,” he praised, the hand not holding their leg in place pressed to their stomach comfortingly. “Taking me so well, baby.”

River bit their lip and watched his face closely, their eyebrows turned downward in pleasure and pleading. Frankie started picking up the pace again, the obscene wet suck of River’s pussy pulling him in further and echoing in their ears. “Oh, fuck,” River whined, head lolling back into the pillow. They panted hard, their chest heaving rhythmically with each of Frankie’s deep thrusts.

From this angle, Frankie could see everything; their damp skin, the way River’s lips trembled, and the way their tattoos glistened in the low light of his bedroom. His eyes dragged over the defined muscles of their thighs and trim waist, then landed on the distinct scars on their chest. 

“Play with your nipples for me,” Frankie breathed, hips bucking into theirs. He looked down and watched as his cock fucked into them, the sight of River’s slick covering his cock giving him chills down his spine.

River obeyed, tweaking their nipples as the heat built in their core. “F-Frankie, I’m gonna fucking come,” they whined. 

“Do it. Come for me,” grunted Frankie, planting one foot on the mattress to drive into them harder.

River let out an obscene noise before stilling as they came, their hips bucking with the waves of their high. 

“Good, Río,” Frankie panted, and leaned over to kiss them deeply as they shook with the aftershocks. “So fucking good,” he groaned into their mouth, the lewd plap plap plap of their hips sending him over the edge with them. He bit and tugged on their bottom lip as thick ropes of come covered the walls inside them. 

River hummed and purred like a happy cat at the warmth and sticky feeling between them. They brought their leg down and curled it around Frankie’s waist, their arms doing the same at his neck. “C’mere,” River breathed, kissing him languidly and tangling their fingers in his damp curls.

Frankie got comfortable and laid on top of them, softening cock still inside them snugly. Their kisses were lazy, but deep, and lasted for a long time. River always got especially clingy and affectionate after sex, and Frankie was hardly going to complain.

Eventually, they came up for air, and looked at each other. River snorted at his hair sticking up in all directions and pecked his cheek. “I gotta pee so bad,” they groaned. Frankie laughed and slowly pulled out, watching as his come dripped out of them. He smirked at the sight, thumb rubbing at River’s inner thigh.

After River went to the bathroom and Frankie removed the dirty sheets, they got comfy under the covers and cuddled close. Frankie looked down at their head, hair now pulled back into a loose braid. “I’ve got a question for you, Riv,” he said softly.

“Anything,” River smiled, kissing his pec before looking up at him. 

“How bad was it?” 

River raised a brow and frowned. “How bad was what?”

“Your… When you got top surgery.”

River blinked, but smiled softly. “Where did that come from?” They chuckled.

Frankie blushed, his eyes going wide. “W-well, I was just curious! When we– While I was on top of you, well. I looked at the scars, and I just sort of wondered.”

River laughed quietly and cupped his face. “Do you wanna know the whole process, or…?”

Frankie shrugged. “Only if you wanted to tell me.”

River hummed, exhaling a heavy breath as they thought about it. “Well, the healing process sort of sucked. I slept like shit.”

Frankie frowned, concerned.

“I’m fine now,” they rolled their eyes playfully, poking him in the nipple. “But my left nipple still isn’t as sensitive as it used to be.”

Frankie looked down at their left nipple and tweaked it teasingly. River giggled, and covered it protectively. “Hey!” 

He grinned and gave them a kiss on their shoulder. “Go on,” he chuckled.

“But yeah,” River continued. “I had a really good friend come with me and we both cried afterwards. It felt… right. I think I even told him that I was always meant to look that way.”

Frankie’s eyes rounded softly. “Oh, Río,” he smiled. “I’m sad I wasn’t there.”

“Me too,” River nodded. “But you’re here now. And now I don’t even remember what it felt like to have breasts.”

He hummed thoughtfully, nodding. “I love you, River,” he said softly, cupping their face and rubbing his thumb on their cheekbone.

“And I love you,” River grinned, kissing him deeply. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Wondering. Accepting me,” they shrugged, looking at a freckle on his chest.

“Of course,” Frankie said seriously, making them look back up at him. Deep brown eyes bore into green, and it made River’s breath catch. “Always.”

And River believed him when he said it, too.

[transandrophobia-support]

(want the accessible version of this post? click → here ←)

Hello, dear friends <3

Welcome to transandrophobia-support. This blog is (currently) run by two mods, mod 💿, and mod 🛼. **

**more info about the mods below the cut

This is a safe space for you to talk about your experiences, vent, and spread positivity about transmasculinity/transandrophobia. You can do this by either sending an ask on/off anon (up to you), or submitting a post. You can also to tag us in anything transandrophobia/transmasculinity related.

Rules

no discourse. Any hate comments/asks/submissions will be deleted. Please do not send anything that will cause discourse. Not sure? Assume it will, or ask a mod.

Don’t ask for a specific mod to answer your ask. Doing this will just make it harder for us to do so.

No NSFW. Minors will be interacting with this blog. I repeat. MINORS WILL BE INTERACTING WITH THIS BLOG. (references/discussions related to bodies in a non-sexual manner is fine! this may include talk about dysphoria, euphoria, or intersex issues.)

Stay on topic please!! Anything you send should be on the topic of transmasculinity/transandrophobia.

Don’t ask us for advice. We are in no way qualified to talk about tips for coming out, transitioning, finding gender euphoria, etc.

While this blog is focused on transmasculinity, people of other genders are completely welcome as long as they're here to learn and support transmascs.

Absolutely no (trans)misogyny, exorsexism, intersexism, or other forms of bigotry are welcome here.

Mod info!

Mod 💿 -

Ziggy, he/him, blog is @cringefail-loser

hihihi :3 I’m a transsexual man, I love music, and thriller movies. I’m learning to become a drummer! Please do not use they/them on me, and i’m sure we’ll get along 🙂‍↕️

Mod 🛼 -

azure (az for short!), ly/lyr/lyri/lyric/lyricself or he/it/other neos, main is @lesgay-lover

helloooo!! im a nonbinary lesgay trans guy. they/them not preferred and absolutely no she/her. dont call me girl ever for any reason. ummm i like dragons and my husband. im a very friendly guy and also a YAPPER. links to pronouns.page carrd etc are in the pinned of my main if you wanna check that out :) also i run a series on my main called transandrophobia talks where i go in depth on some elements if you wanna check that out

Other important things ⚠️

We will try and put trigger warnings for the things that need them, but chances are things will slip through the cracks. If you need us to put a tw for something specific, please let us know!! (or if we forgot to put a tw for something)

Emoji sign-offs are welcome :)

This is a safe space for all contradictory labels and identities <3

We do not engage in syscourse or shipcourse. Please do not bring that kind of stuff onto our blog. (Yes we are still a safe space for systems, there is no doubt about that ❤️)

[lycandrophile]

if you feel comfortable sharing, how do you identify now?

mostly, i just call myself a trans man now. i really haven’t spent too much time trying to find a word to replace transmasc in my vocabulary.

i haven’t really fully disidentified with transmasc either. when people talk about transmascs as a collective, i still consider myself part of the group they’re talking about. i still describe the process i’m going through as a transmasculine transition. and transmasculinity as a concept, as something lived and embodied, is still really important to me and my understanding of my gender. it’s less that i feel no connection to the word “transmasc” and more that just saying “i am transmasc” doesn’t really accurately describe the way i relate to the word anymore.

it’s partly because i just…don’t consider myself to be all that masculine. i’ve never been particularly feminine either, but even femininity is something i can at least put on for a little while; masculinity is a complete mystery to me in a lot of ways. i don’t know how to do it. and i’m not just talking about cisheteronormative masculinity either — i have so much admiration (and often envy) for the butches and bears and drag kings and other people who embody queer masculinity, but that doesn’t come naturally to me either. so it feels weird to identify myself using a word that puts so much emphasis on masculinity when i don’t see myself that way and i doubt anyone who knows me would either. i’ve played around with using transandrogynous instead for that reason, and i think that’s probably the most accurate alternative.

but i still mostly just find myself not really caring about defining myself on the basis of masculinity, femininity, androgyny, or any of those concepts because none of them are as important to me as the fact that i’m a man. whether my presentation would be best described as masculine, feminine, or androgynous can and does change from day to day, month to month, year to year. but regardless of which way i present myself, i’m always a man. that’s always what i want people to know about me. the underlying assumption of my manhood is what makes me comfortable exploring femininity and androgyny at all. so if i have to define myself, why not just say i’m a trans man?

it’s also partly because the way people define the word transmasc has shifted in the years since i first came out and started describing myself that way. when i first learned it, it was pretty much universally understood as an umbrella term that included (but also extended beyond) trans men. so when i started identifying as a man, transmasc remained a broader but still accurate identity. but now, i see more and more people defining trans men and transmascs as two distinct groups, and while there is still a general understanding that trans men can be and often are transmasc, there are also a lot more people who assume that if you describe yourself as one, you must implicitly be excluding yourself from the other. and because my identity as a man is so important to me, i’m not comfortable with saying “i’m transmasc” if people might assume me saying that means I’m not also a man.

and i think it’s partly because transmasc is a label i leaned on a lot when i was at a point where part of me recognized that i was a man, but i resisted calling myself a man because of all the baggage that came along with that. it was a compromise — a way to get “close enough” to what i actually felt, to get people to use the right words for me and get the right idea about me, without having to say “i am a man”. because back then, manhood was something inherently worse in my mind and the minds of the people i surrounded myself with than the nonbinary identity i’d been claiming until that point. but now, i don’t feel that way at all. i love manhood and men and being a man! so for me, letting go of transmasc as a label and giving myself permission to just say i’m a man has been an important part of accepting the fact that i am a man and learning that being a man isn’t a “bad” way to be trans.

basically, my identity hasn’t really changed at all, i just realized that saying “i’m transmasc” is a less accurate way of describing my gender than just saying “i’m a trans man”.

now, that’s not to say i don’t have other ways of describing my identity or that my understanding of my identity hasn’t changed a lot recently, but that’s a whole other can of worms and god knows this answer is long enough already. suffice to say, my gender is much more complicated than 100% Binary Man, Same Gender As A Cis Man, but i don’t worry about explaining that to every person i come across. if someone is so unfamiliar with me that they have to ask me to define my gender in the first place, then as far as they’re concerned, i’m just some fucking guy.