#but I like the idea of a name w no gender attached too…..

[dyelwi]

Can’t do this shit anymore (being named Dylan)

[prince-jjae]

heh, so for kinktober or just a regular fic atp. Can u do toxic relationship w/ yeonjun. Like reader and yeonjun are in a situationship and yeonjun says that him and reader can’t have any strings attached if they’re just gonna have sex. But like reader rlly doesn’t care so they just keep having one night stands with random people at the club. And one day, yeonjun catches her and gets jealous and BOOM raw sex. But then angst bc reader says he doesn’t love her so they’re free to hit on whoever they want. So they argue and reader never sees yeonjun again. BUT LIKE IF U DON’T WANNA MAKE THIS ANGST THEN U CAN MAKE IT A HAPPY ENDING :3 heh, my brain is going brr brr rn. Ok ty! 💕

Escapism.

mdni, nsfw!!

pairings: choi yeonjun/reader

genre: smut, angst. hurt/no comfort??

warnings: fwb?yeonjun, meandom!yeonjun, mentions of beomgyu, mentions of club bathroom sex (Dont!), name calling (slut, whore, etc), unprotected sex (Dont! pt2), gender neutral reader but they have feminine anatomy, jealousy, anger, kinda dubcon if you think too hard about it, player!reader, if i forgot any lmk!

jjae's comments: this is.... insane. I sat down to write this thinking itd be like.. 1k? around the same length of my other fics? but no... welcome to 3k words of pure smut and sadness. i made yeonjun a lot more pathetic in this fic than i think the ask originally intended, but i hope it still reads well!! enjoy!

“No strings attached.” he had said. No strings attached. If that's what he wanted, then why was Yeonjun acting this way? He hadn't the faintest idea, but the sight of you dragging a puppy-looking guy to the bathroom with your finger hooked into the front of his jeans made his chest cave in.

He thought this was a good idea, months ago. Back when you were only focused on him with your puppy-crush. Maybe it was the power he held over you back then that convinced him to do this. The strength he had over your every move made his head too foggy with desire to see the fatal error of his ways. Back then you seemed like just a nerdy college student, out of place and quiet. Just his type. He was glad the work of approaching you had been done for him, smirking at the board with your name scrawled next to his. ‘Just how cliche would this get?’ He wondered at the time. It was practically fate. He spent weeks breaking through your cold and bitter exterior, dead-set on tasting the sweet softness that he knew you kept well-hidden. It was the thrill of the chase. The promise of something forbidden, off-limits. Sure, he could give any excuse he wanted, but getting into your bed with you was always his goal. You were a sweet poison, he soon found. You were the sweetest of nectars, yet shockingly deadly. He was in bed with you, his plush lips pressing open-mouthed kisses to your heated skin. He drank in the quiet whimper you let out when his teeth scraped at you with the sharp promise of his canines marring your soft skin. 

“No strings attached.” He had whispered to you huskily, and you dumbly nodded along, eager to please so he would keep going. So he would consume you like the fire you knew he was. He said it more for his own sake than yours, he thought. He knew from the first time he had you under him, obscene sounds coming from where your hips collided, mouth spilling rivulets of drool around his fingers which pressed and prodded at your tongue, that he was thoroughly fucked. 

But now, after months of being your.. What was the right word for it? Was this a situationship? Was he your friend-with-benefits? You two had never talked about it. Hell, you hardly did anything more than moan into each other's mouths and skin. Neither of you were next to one another by the time the sunshine graced your apartment windows. He knew better, now. If he was going to continue drinking in your poison by the mouthful, he needed to be careful. Precise, even. 

Yeonjun sighed, watching you go as he swirled the drink in his hand. You didn’t know he was there. You didn’t even see the text he had sent you 2 hours prior on your phone, you were too busy scanning the crowd. He had texted you the second he walked through the doors into the club he knew you frequented. He was perhaps a little desperate to see you, but he would never tell you as much. Hell, it was hard to even admit it to himself. He craved you like he craved air. 

But you didn't care. You didn't even react to the buzzing in your pocket, sharp eyes intent on finding your next victim. This club was your web, and you were a black widow. He hadn’t known it when he stumbled into your trap all those months ago, but you were vicious. You took control of him like a possession, the thrum of your power over him was buzzing under his skin constantly. Your kiss was a brand, ruining him for anyone or anything else. 

The great player, Choi Yeonjun, reduced to a simpering, desperate boy. How far he had fallen in pursuit of you.

He recognized the man you had picked - your victim for the night - as Choi Beomgyu. He was a friend of Yeonjun’s, actually. They bickered a lot, but they got along well enough. He recalls mentioning you to him before.. Had Beomgyu sought you out because of him? The thought made his stomach churn. Jealousy cut through him like a searing hot knife, the jagged edge catching his anger in just the right way. His eyes remained fixed on the bathroom door, sipping away at his drink the entire time you occupied it. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what you were doing in there, but he needed to see it. He needed to know that you were really doing this. 

He had no right to be jealous, he knew that. Rationally, realistically, this was none of his fucking business. He was the one who suggested you two wouldn’t be exclusive. Why should he be upset now that his own words were haunting him. Was it because he never expected to get this attached? Or was it the realisation that you didn’t feel the same? It was obvious that you didn’t care for him the way he cared for you. He could live with that, he thought. He could live with you not loving him back, but seeing you sneak off with someone new right before his very eyes? This was an anger he was unfamiliar with. He was never on the receiving end of this. Perhaps this was karma, finally catching up to him and providing him the pain he usually dished out freely. Perhaps he deserved this.

When you finally emerged from the bathroom, makeup smudged and clothes wrinkled, his heart plummeted to the floor. He glanced behind you, watching Beomgyu walk out with a dazed look in his eyes, shirt halfway undone and hair a mess. You loved pulling on his hair when he gave you head, He thought. The memory of him being the one between your thighs finally snapped the cord in him. 

He slammed his drink down onto the table next to him, ignoring the way the other patrons flinched at the loud crack the glass made against the worn wood. He was already halfway across the floor. You didn’t even notice him until he was on you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the club with the shadow of his rage hanging over him like a cloud. He barely registered you tugging at his arm, trying to get him to let you go, trying to ask him what was going on. Your questions fell on deaf ears. He was on a mission as he dragged you to his apartment for the first time, only a few minutes walk away from the club.

He was going to prove he was better. No one else could have you the way he could. 

Yeonjun liked to believe that he was a gentle lover. That he could be mean when it was required or requested of him, but for the most part, he was a giver. Full of plush words and promises that usually held no actual weight. A phrase echoed in his mind at that, something about truth being singular, and lies being words, words, words. In that case, Yeonjun guessed he was a liar of a lover. It tracked, if he really thought about it. Like now, when he had you pressed into the door the second you two were beyond the threshold, kissing you like a man starved. His hands were possessive, gripping onto your flesh wherever he could. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to prove- actually, scratch that. He did know. He wanted to erase every memory of Beomgyu’s touch, He wanted to burn it away with his own until only his touch remained on your skin. 

You weren't sure where this animalistic side of Yeonjun came from, but you hardly had it in you to complain. You should probably push him away, demand answers, but you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. The knowledge of this made yeonjun grin against your neck before sinking his teeth into the soft junction between the column of your throat and your shoulder, pulling a pleasured scream from your lips. He practically growled against the skin, fingers trailing down to push aside the skimpy shorts you wore. 

“You let him finish inside?” He grit out, fingers sliding easily through your soaked core. The sound of Beomgyu’s cum leaking onto Yeonjun’s hardwood floor should have made you embarrassed, but instead of shame burning through you, only lust remained. You shivered, nodding at Yeonjun like a bobblehead, mind swirling in the wake of his rough handling of you. He just laughed, but the chuckle he released was devoid of humour. He was angry. You let him fill you? Did you let anyone else do the same?

“Dirty fucking thing.” He spat at you before hauling you up, legs around his waist. He carried you to the bed, flinging you unceremoniously onto the covers. You were still bouncing on the mattress from the sheer force he used to toss you onto it when he descended on you. He was all tongue, teeth and rage as he practically tore your clothes off of you. He hardly gave you any space to breathe, let alone think. Your mind was a useless puddle of mush as he manhandled you, adjusting your body the way he wanted. By the time you could gather the mental presence it took to move your eyes downward, His breath was already fanning hotly at your still-sore cunt. Your eyes widened comically, but he only laughed at you before diving in and eating you with the crazed frenzy of a man who had never eaten before in his life. He had to clean you, had to rid you of any evidence of his friend. You had to become pure again, only for him to defile you himself, make you his the way you had made him yours. He had to show you, even if he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. Surely, you'd understand, right? You understood him. He was sure of it.

Your hands instantly tangled in his silky locks, tugging harshly enough to pull a hiss from his lips the second his tongue made contact. You squealed, body still sensitive from your previous orgasm with Beomgyu, but Yeonjun didn’t care. He wasn't doing this for pleasure, he was doing this to make a point. To make you his. He ate you with fervor, a mix of your arousal, Beomgyu’s release and Yeonjun’s drool making his face a fucking sopping mess. It dripped onto the sheets below, but he paid it no mind, allowing you to rock your hips desperately on his tongue and nose as he worked you up again. You were sobbing, fat tears streaming down your face and clumping your pretty lashes together. All he could think about while you bumped your swollen clit against his nose was how badly he wanted to ruin you once he was done. Your wails and pleas fell on deaf ears. He had no plans on slowing down, giving you any breaks. You had teased him enough, he thought, parading around with Beomgyu’s cum still stuffed inside you. He was intent on replacing it with his own. When you finally came, sobbing out his name into the silent, cold air of his apartment, you collapsed, boneless onto the sheets. Your hand clasped at your naked chest, sweat cooling your skin as you scrambled to catch your breath. You couldn't remember a single time when Yeonjun behaved like this, did things like this, ate you like this. Sure, he loved having you on his tongue, but he was always so sweet, drawing out every little hum and movement out for your pleasure. This shift in his demeanour left you confused, for sure, but you found it so hot that you couldn't stop to ask any questions. Your eyes flew open again, desperately clawing at his arms when he shifted your body again. He lifted you with ease, flipping you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing. 

“Can't- jjunnie, please!” You cried, voice slightly muffled by the pillow he shoved your face into. He just sneered down at you, dragging his drooling cock through your soaked folds. He had no mercy for you, not anymore. He leaned down, smirking at the way your breath stuttered when the head of his cock caught your entrance. The feeling of his hot breath on your skin paled in comparison to the mean words he spat into your ear. 

“You’ll fucking take what I give you, slut.” 

You couldn’t bring yourself to feel any shame at his words. In fact, you revelled in them, pushing your hips back against him. It caught him by surprise, and you were so wet that he sunk into you with ease with that simple movement alone. A punched out groan fell from his pouty lips, one of his hands gripping your hip in a bruising hold. You were sure his fingertips would leave bruises for you to press on by tomorrow morning. 

“God- You’re so fucking desperate, arent you? Just got your pussy stuffed with cum and you're already begging for more?” He laughed, the sound mean and cruel in your ears as he set a brutal pace. You were so slick that the sounds that reverberated in yeonjuns bedroom was fucking obscene. You felt filthy, dirty, used- and you loved it. You weren’t sure how, but Yeonjun could tell. You knew he could. Maybe it was the way your walls fluttered helplessly around his fat cock, spearing into you with no mercy that gave you away. It didn’t matter, though. You hardly had the mental presence to care about anything beyond the way he stretched you out so so well. “Look at you, fucking pathetic. So eager for dick. Do I not give you enough? Huh? Do I need to stuff you full every hour of the day for you to be satiated?” 

All you could do was claw at his sheets, nodding pathetically along to his words. He scoffed, reaching up to grab your chin and forcing your mouth open. “Speak, whore.” 

You scrambled for words, but the syllables fell through your fingers like grains of sand. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, reminiscent of a fish out of water, before you finally managed out something akin to verbal language.

“Need- please- more- jjunnie-!” Your voice quickly dissolved into a chorus of pornographic ah, ah, ah-’s, and it sent a thrill through Yeonjun’s body. He was doing this to you. In this moment, right here in his bedroom, you were his. He shoved his fingers into your still open mouth, keeping your head thrown back as his hips ploughed into your sopping heat from behind. His thrusts were so intense they were punishing, sure to leave you sore and wobbly on your feet for days. Thinking about you stumbling around, needing his help to walk only made him growl and fuck you harder. He was far too drunk on you, on your moans, on your pussy. He couldn’t help himself.

“Need-? Getting fucked so good you cant speak, huh? Don’t worry, baby.” He grinned, but the smile was sharp and cheshire. It held no warmth for you, not that you could care or open your eyes long enough to even see it. You could feel it in his words, though, in the way he nibbled at your earlobe before shoving you down into the pillows again. “Daddy’s got you.”

He was entirely right, really. You were fucked positively stupid on his dick. You couldn’t deny that. In fact, you wouldn't. “Daddy-” you whined, voice barely audible over the lewd sounds of Yeonjun’s cock sinking into you and his hips snapping against the plush of your ass. “‘s fucking good- fuck!”

Yeonjun let out a breathless laugh before he pulled out of you. You hardly had time to whine at the loss, the aching empty feeling he left you with, before you were being moved again. Now you were on your back, and before you could even get your vision to focus on him, Yeonjun was already balls-deep in you again. With your head thrown back in bliss, throat bared for him, he couldn’t help but sneak down and leave angry, splotchy hickeys along your soft skin. 

“That’s right, baby- fuck… take it. Take it. Gonna fill you up better than he did- fuck!” His hips were beginning to stutter, but his mouth kept running. He was dissolving into horny babble, but he had the presence of mind to sneak his hand down, fingers drawing rough circles on your clit that had you spasming underneath him. 

He had slept with you enough times to know your tells, to know when you were going to finish. The way your head fell back, eyebrows drawn up, pretty lips making that pretty ‘o’ shape- the way you fluttered around him wildly, trying to milk him dry- you were close. He knew it. Just a few more thrusts, a slight change in angle and-

God, you were so beautiful when he had you like this, crying his name again, nails clawing uselessly against his back and leaving angry marks that he loved. 

“That’s it, baby- shit. Take it, slut. Fucking take it-!” He gripped your hips firmly in both hands, using them to move you on him. It made his thrusts hit deeper, and- God, were you squirting? If anything, the revelation only made him rougher with you despite your protests that you couldn’t take it, that you needed him to slow down. He wouldn’t, though. You knew he wouldn't. He only grabbed you harder, cock slamming into your cervix in a way that made you wince before he finally filled you, pressed as deeply into you as he could manage. He pressed into you over and over, as if trying to force his seed even deeper into you. As if he could fuck it right into your little womb. 

After a few more mean thrusts, you began to squirm and whine in his grip. Only then did he snap out of his jealousy-filled rage, looking into your eyes with his own so wide and pretty. There he was, that was closer to the Yeonjun you remembered. You smiled lazily at him, lifting your arms to him. With no prompting, he fell into your embrace. He peppered kisses along any skin he could reach, sighing happily into your skin when your fingers ran through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp in the way you knew he liked. You chuckled, but made no move to push him away. That was all he needed for hope to bloom in his chest again. You understood him, right? You knew what he was trying to do, what he needed. He needed you. He needed you more than air. He looked at you expectantly, hoping that you would say what he did not have the courage to. 

But you didn’t say anything. 

You didn’t say anything when he cleaned you up. You didn’t say anything when he carefully brought you to the bath he drew for you. You didn't say anything when he gently scrubbed your body. You didn’t say anything when he helped you back into your clothes. 

You only opened your mouth to deny him when he suggested you sleep over. He didn’t know his heart could shatter so easily with just a few words. He supposed he had this coming. Yes, he was right, earlier. This was karma for all his previous misdeeds. You were karma, and you were cruel.

“No strings attached, remember?”

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[mushyposts]

New ocs 👀

Or is just pov and I am confused 🤔

Either way I am so excited to see!!!!!

I also am kinda wondering what are you fire Nation laws?(Everyone has different ones)

not a new OC! Som very special people are getting POV's in the next chapter hehehe... Im not too sure what you mean by laws, so im gonna take it as a general "What are the major laws thatll effect the fic" kind of thing! The Fire Nation has legal banishment for everyone, which I mentioned offhandedly in the fic. You can send a document to the Fire Lord, but usually its seen by his representatives for that area, to get someone you are legally in charge of (your children, adopted or not, anyone ur the legal guardian of, OR if they've committed treason under the military branch ur in control of! although that can sometimes open u up to speculation, why are so many in ur command questioning our great nation??? What are you teaching them?) banished, this can be conditional (like Zuko's was) or it can be permanent. Sexuality isnt spoken about, theres technically no laws around homosexuality as it isnt even given as an OPTION, the only law that mentions it is that any relationship not mentioned by Agni's words, is not permitted and is seen as a crime against Agni, and is punishable by conditional banishment or even death in some spaces. Since Sozin removed any mention of homosexuality, polyamory, or honestly any relationship/gender outside the cishet binary, this means that without even MENTIONING the idea of homosexuality, as they did not want to even give a name to it as name is power, they've made it functionally illegal. Agni Kai MUST be fought between the parties who initiated it. The one who asks, the one who accepts, unless the Fire Lord says otherwise. This includes him taking the place of, or even permitting (read: Forcing) others to take place for either party. This is meant to be used to protect members who may be unable to properly fight, but still need to have their honour protected. It is. NOT used in that way, usually used as a way for two people engaged in an Agni Kai to try get as better fighter as they can OR Ozai may swap strong benders for weaker one where he wishes another party to win. There arent many laws around women or men's roles. Its more so centric around bender or non-bender. If you can bend, you're expected to do military service on the battle grounds. If you cant, then youre expected to do compulsory military service as a desk worker or something of the sorts. very low ranking, but still something. Very rare for non-benders to climb up the ranks, this got more prevalent during Ozai's rule. I think for the most part the Fire Nation would rule through the unsaid, the inexplicit. Propaganda, subtle laws, technicalities. Keeping their nation as in the dark as they can, lack of proper education/severely distorted education (This is displayed in canon too when Aang goes to the fire nation school.) and it was done slowly, subtly over the years of the war, through twisted narratives. I do believe in explicit laws being present, of course, but I also think sometimes the most dangerous of things said, is what is left unsaid. Lack of explicit, direct legislation, also would give Ozai the opportunity to use loopholes, or consistently falling on Agni's word seeing as he is Agni's will on earth, he can do whatever TF he wants. Less explicit, the better for him in the long run. UH! Thats all I can think of at this point hehe. Also to be clear I havent actually watched LOK, nor have I read all the comics, so this is all based on my own world building after years of obsession w ATLA and atp im too attached to it to let the other stuff change my mind i am SORRY... I also just dont have time ot read all the comics and watch LOK.

[wh0lemilk0vich]

Misha Misha Misha u know that one post about trans people giving the fae their dead names?? Mickey doing that w/ fae Ian (hiii Misha we haven't talked in forever I love you mishaaaaaa)

Hello beeb!!! Love you too

I love this idea so much and I think it's so cute, but weirdly I just see Mickey so attached to the name regardless of gender. I think Mickey would want fae!Ian to have it like a keepsake. I for one love the idea of trans!fem Mickey (running away to Mexico floral dress OMG my beloved).

Maybe something like

Ian: May I have your name?

Mickey: You may call me whatever you like.

Ian *impressed and bemused and smitten*: Very well my sweet.

And forever when Mickey goes into the forest and starts appearing a little bit different over time.

Tunic shirts, turning to dresses, hair growing out, and Mickey is bringing Ian gifts, mentioning her troubles. "Would that I filled these frocks out in a manner more befitting a young woman...sighhh"

And Ian just smiles sweetly, returning her some honeyed milk and berries. "Take these my sweet and all will be well."

It's not that Mickey grows more beautiful, it's that the hidden beauty that was there keeps getting revealed. Like polishing a tarnished kettle, until it gleams so brightly you have no choice but to give it pride of place.

And Mickey meets Ian in the woods again and Ian asks:

"what is it, my sweet?"

"I'd like to give you another gift. A proper gift this time, not just bread and milk."

And Ian becomes giddy, hoping beyond hope for the sparkle of her eyes, the sound of her laugh, the blush of her cheek.

"Mickey," she says.

It's an odd thing. Not at all what Ian was imagining and he admitted he was puzzled.

"I'm afraid it doesn't fit me anymore, but I should like you to have it. I'm content to be your sweet."

[candiid-caniine]

Bug, I need advice

I want to ask my master to start using it pronouns for me (not for gender reasons- I'm staunchly they/them- but BC I'm pathetic and don't deserve anything else). I want to show him that I'm nothing more than his pathetic toy.

...but I don't want to just ask him. That would be too easy- to put it into conversation like I'm a person. I don't deserve that.

So what can I do to ask him? What show should I put on to make him stop respecting me? I want to be degraded and sobbing and a desperate leaky mess for him when I ask but I can't think of anything 😭

Assume nothing is off the table. Edging covered in drool, licking the toilet, anything.

Help,,

Thank you bug. Us leaky cunts gotta stick together.

arf this is a tough one!! obviously you know your master, but just in case it hasn't come to mind, remember that for some people this may feel like misgendering or orientation play, so it's always best to gauge your partner's limits first. (this warning isn't necessarily for you, bc i trust that this is a committed relationship w good communication, but for anyone else interested in something like this!)

here's what i would do. think of the thing that makes you cry. humiliation? pain? edging? whatever it is, think about that. for me, it's easier if i'm put into subspace slowly before whatever makes me cry is starting; i'm more open and emotional that way.

ask your master to plan a scene for you. you're basically asking him to break you, possibly in a way he never has before, so please please take advantage of his care for you--make sure you'll have ample time and supplies for any aftercare you might need; this is gonna be a tough scene, a show of devotion and ownership that is going to be intense. tell him that at some point during this scene, you're going to give him a gift somehow.

what i would do if i was doing this (pls bear in mind im a dumb fuck): i'd write it down. maybe on a piece of paper. maybe on a dog tag to attach to my collar. or go fucking crazy and have a plaque made, or a custom paddle, or cross-stitch some shit...make it unique, but tangible. here are some ideas for how i would say it:

pathetic toys don't deserve pronouns (and on the back it says "it/its")

congrats! it's an it! (im trying to riff on cringey cishet 'gender reveals' but idk if its working lmaooo)

fleshlights don't have pronouns (this prob only works if ur a bottom and he's a top so disregard if needed lmao)

dildos don't have pronouns (if ur the top and he's the bottom)

certified object (TM) (and on the back it says "it/its")

sex toy (and on the back it says "it/its")

if i was a toy 👀and u were a real person 👀would u respect me 👀or nah? (check yes or nah) and if u checked nah 👀would u maybe 👉🏽👈🏽 call me it/its? 👀 haha jk,, unless....?

omg or,, one of those like fake certificates? or a deed of property?

Here on this 14th of February, 2024, by Notarized Declaration, has been bequeathed to You, the Undersigned, a certification: that [sub's name] has been deemed a Material Object, pursuant to Code 98.706 of the Consensual Dehumanization Act, and shall hereby be referred to by "it/its" pronouns throughout any Proceedings of Consensual Power Exchange (PCPA). (Initial)___ I, the Undersigned, hereby agree to this Declaration and the Conditions elaborated herein...

did yall think i was joking about being a clownpuppy

anyway. whenever you've figured that shit out, be it a plaque, a fake contract, a dog tag, whatever the fuck, hide that shit. whatever your master has planned for the evening, incorporate it.

is he gonna tie you up and put you in a suspension rig and pretend he's livestreaming you? hide that shit in his ropes.

is he gonna make you hump his shoe and bark? hide it in ur mouth and drool it out onto his thigh.

is he gonna edge you and call you names until you cry? fam, put that shit in your holes. that is the ultimate objectification (to me): be the vase you hide your v-day roses in.

so that's my advice, basically. if you don't want to ask outright like a person, then symbolize it in your play. it's still communication, which is vital for a scene that's gonna be as intense as you want it to be, but it also fits the theme of what you're trying to tell him. come up with a basic plan for the night, then place your declaration somewhere accessible either by you or him when you hit the point in the night that you want to reveal it.

i'm so excited for you. idk if i really helped, this is just *my* style of play (read: stupidtown to the max), but regardless i'd love to hear how it goes, whatever you end up deciding!

[omiangelic]

phoenix (dabi)

welcome to the first thing i’ve posted since i was 12 and on w*ttpad. i got possessed and wrote this.

wc: 1,111

cw: hurt no comfort, gender neutral Y/N (they’re never referred to directly), dabi and his whole deal (fire, domestic abuse, suicide/ideation), Y/N and dabi are both avoidant attachment :(

miniplaylist: It Means Everything from the Omori OST, Cheetah by Deux Visages, Spiricle by Flower Face, Blood on the Sheets by Violent Vira

You knew this would only hurt when you let it start. You’re both too avoidant. It would be ridiculous to think your negatives could make a positive.

The peninsula of your kitchen counter stands in between two people who are little more then scared, angry children. Two people who both grew up in environments too offensive to allow them to live, much less grow up. Two people who are now trapped in older bodies with damaged brains that built more walls than could ever be counted. That’s what you’re thinking about, what’s lingering in the back of your mind, as you stare at Touya.

When he told you his real name, all those months ago, after waking up from a nightmare shaking in your arms and unsure where he was, you looked him up. His obituary was public. There were pictures of him caught by paparazzi in the image tab, but every headline used the same middle school photo as his obit.

You’re staring at the boy from those pictures right now.

He’s holding his jacket, body turned towards the door. He looks at the floor, jaw tense. The aftermath of your explosion is deafening.

“That’s a stupid idea and you know it,” you spit the words out like they’re pure acid. They burn you both.

He pushed you to this point and he knows it. He’d watched you tick closer and closer to detonating every time he came to see you. It seems that today that countdown finally hit zero.

The charred remains of who he used to be gnaw and scratch away at him. I don’t want to leave, they beg. I can be safe here. Please, I want to stay.

Dabi wished he’d really killed that kid on that mountain. Maybe if he’d done it right, finished the job, he wouldn’t have to feel hurt like this. He doesn’t understand why this hurts more than dying did.

He tightens his fist around his jacket until his knuckles are white.

“What, you’re just gonna stand there? What about your conviction? Your determination to kill yourself over a man that never loved you?”

He doesn’t move.

“Did it never occur to you? That you’re already free? That you can do whatever you want without him? That by committing yourself to this egoistic death wish, you’re giving him power again? You act like you burned away that life, and maybe you did- but it never died. You’re trapped inside that godforsaken house, keeping the fire going with your brothers, and pretending that they aren’t right there with you.

“I get it. The heat is comforting. It’s familiar; but there are other ways to stay warm- different types of light. I’ve been trying to show you that for years. I’m tired of trying to get you to see that on your own,” you sigh.

“Whatever,” you pivot and begin walking down the hall to your bedroom, “go kill yourself, again, Dabi. Maybe it’ll make you feel something this time.”

You’re inches from the door when you feel a tug on your wrist. You don’t bother turning to look, “what?”

His grip tightens. He breathes in but doesn’t say anything. He still doesn’t say anything.

“What?” you repeat, tone sharper. Does he need you to drive him away more to feel complete? Is he unsatisfied because you didn’t fight his desire to leave, when his absence is almost as familiar as he is?

You knew this would only hurt when you let it start. You don’t think you’d realized how much it would hurt back then.

He’s hesitant before opening his mouth again, the rasp of his voice so achingly familiar, “You know how long I’ve been-”

“Oh, give me a break!” You whip around to face him, try to yank your wrist free, but his grip holds firm. He wants to hold you more than you want him to let go.

There’s no light in his eyes when you face him. He looks like the criminal they catch on security cameras and CCTV, not the man you’ve grown to- that you’ve grown too attached to.

He takes another deep inhale before starting again. “Endeavor-”

“This isn’t about Endeavor! This is about you!” You crack, “killing Endeavor won’t undo the damage he’s done! It won’t change anything!” You’re breathing hard, seething, splintering, breaking apart. His eyes are empty but the weight of his hold on you is a constant reminder that his presence. His hands are like freezer burn. So cold they’re hot, so hot they’re cold- they’re comforting in their discomfort.

You knew it would hurt. You knew it would hurt. You knew it would hurt. You knew it would hurt.

“What do you want me to say? What else am I-“

“You act like your hands are tied. Like you don’t have any other choice but to follow through with this. Like a life outside of this isn’t possible for you.”

“It isn’t-”

“Then what the fuck is this, Touya? Are you just playing house when it’s convenient?” He flinches like you’ve struck him and you aren’t sure what caused it: the usage of his real name or the accusation.

His grip is like iron. He’s silent again.

I hate this, he’s begging himself to say, I hate hurting you but it’s all I’m good for.

Once upon a time you told him you saw him as a phoenix- magnificent, reborn ablaze- but he feels like a tornado on fire; the kind that leave irreparable damage behind- ruin lives. He can feel your fire extinguish under his storm. He sucks the air out of you, can’t you feel it? How can you tolerate him? He can see your lip quiver from how hard you’re trying not to turn tail and slam your door in his face.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” your fight goes out with your flames. You attempt to free yourself again but there’s no force behind it.

Too avoidant. Ridiculous to think your negatives could make a positive.

He’s looking at the floor, “You had to know this was coming.”

“You had to know I was never going to beg for you to stay,” you snap, but you fizzle out just as fast as you’d sparked, “I tried. It wasn’t enough. Arguing won’t change that.”

The strain in your voice makes him ache. It was enough. You were more than enough. It isn’t your fault I’m only capable of destruction. I wish I finished the job, I wish I finished the job, I should’ve finished the job-

Maybe this is better. I want to stay. Maybe he can offer you the first piece of kindness he’s ever wanted to provide. I want to stay but this is all I've ever known. Maybe he’ll finally be good for something, be worthy of the way you look at him like he isn’t the filthy, rotten thing he knows himself to be.

He lets you go. He swears he can hear your heart crack, and he’s memorizing your face while your eyes well up in tears at his fatal determination before he’s gone like he was never there in the first place. Your front door shuts softly and you almost hear three forbidden words on the wind he leaves behind.

You forgot how cold your apartment is without him in it.

tagging @stunies i hope their suffering lived up to your expectations 🙂‍↕️

♡ Return to Navigation ♡ About Me ♡ Main ♡ Fic Recs ♡

[aura-acolyte]

🎙 Where did you first get the idea for Mare?

//Okay, so, story time. Let me take you back to August 2018. The world had gone to shit, Avengers Infinity War had recently released in theaters, and I was a 14 year old boy (probably) who had just discovered the internet.

//I had taken to browsing TV Tropes in my spare time, still do but not as frequently. Something, something, ruin your life. Anyways, TV Tropes has many pages for many different things, far beyond just TV and Tropes. Among those was fanfiction and through it I discovered a treasure trove of ages long past. That Golden Fandom Era of great cringe.

//You see, most of TV Tropes' pages on fanfiction are for some pretty old stuff. They've got pages on newer fics too, its a great source of advertising, but the website was launched in 2004 it goes back ages and newer fics aren't crosswicked as much. So much of my fanfiction exposure was older stuff. The classics. And, of course, one of the fic types I came across was Nuzlocke fics. The idea of doing a Nuzlocke Challenge intrigued me, and the idea of writing a fic about it more so. And thus, my journey bega.

//I booted up my favorite game in the series, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, and restarted. incidentally wiping several years worth of event legendaries and the event Blaziken I'd carried over from XY out of existance. I'm sorry XY Event Blaziken with Speed Boost and Blazikenite. You will be missed. What was I saying?

//Oh right, I restarted Alpha Sapphire, selected the female pc with blissful ignorance of my own gender fluidity, named her Mare, and began my run... I wrote one chapter and then gave up because I got too attached to the Pokemon and having to release them made me cry. But, while that was the end for that fic, it was not the end for Mare. I tried to write several more fics for her which, uh, weren't good and can hopefully stay buried forever. 14 year old me had a bit of a perverted streak that I am not proud of.

//Then roleplaying came into the picture. I've been roleplaying for... this'll be my 8th year roleplaying online. Jeez. Anyways, I used to do forum roleplays before I got kind of tired of that and stopped. Takes a lot of effort to maintain a forum roleplay and, honestly, a lot of the people on the site I used were assholes, elitists, gatekeepers, or all three. But I'm not here to trash talk people behind their backs.

//So, I started a Pokemon forum roleplay and repurposed Mare for it. Because my Nuzlocke fic was inspired by classic Nuzlocke fics, Mare could understand Pokemon for no explained reason other than to make it easier for the reader to grow attached to them before they die. I also gave her enhanced strength because I thought a teenage girl punching out Archie would be funny. Now, for the roleplay space, I had to explain it. Luckily, I remembered a movie I'd watched as a kid, Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, and also by that point it was 2020 and I was an avid Smash Ultimate player who mained Lucario. So I gave her Aura powers to justify it, added on Aura Vision, discovered Sapphire Pokespe existed halfway through making her character sheet and used her as Mare's faceclaim, and bada bing bada boom, Marie "Mare" Birch was born. But we aren't quite at final form Mare yet.

//In February of 2023 I joined Tumblr and one month later, in March, I discovered Pokemon IRL. Eager to join in, I created a blog for... Caleb Vixen, normal fox guy and intended self insert. I created Mare's blog 20 days later. When I created the blog I expanded her Aura Powers to include durability, healing, and any moves a Lucario can use (Aura Sphere mainly), and gave her the epithet Chosen of Rayquaza. Also, she was the worst. Like, she was still a hero but she was also an asshole. This was true of all versions of Mare up to that point. Its kind of incredible looking at her right now where her defining personality trait is being nice vs back when I started where her defining personality trait was being an asshole. Oh, also, when the blog started it had been six months since her Journey ended not five years I don't know how that happened.

//So, Chosen of Rayquaza, what did that mean? Nothing. I just thought it sounded cool. But, when I had Mare make a little joke about "I don't know what Chosen of Rayquaza means" it quickly gained a meaning, largely thanks to @pinkhairandpokemon, who introduced me to the concept of Chosen AUs which I had no idea existed at the time. Anyways, Mare ended up with Rayquaza powers and a savior complex and also became much nicer. Then a bunch of other stuff happened and a good chunk of it had to be retconned away and now you're here.

//tl;dr, she came from a Nuzlocke fic.

[teddybeartoji]

you made me wanna rewatch (can't play) both of tlou games,,

i really loved the vibes of both games mainly, since you can only follow as the story unfolds - i have to admit that while your favorite is the second, mine was the first. i am weak to selfish people, i love selfishness, not necessarily as a default but more as a proof of pure individuality and i am obsessed with the ideas associated with individualism

so when joel made that choice against everything? against the entire world? against himself?? hell, even against ellie herself???? went a bit insane with that

i read the whole thing u just wrote, have to admit it has been a long while since i watched, so there's stuff i didn't get at first because i needed time to remember the names... anyways if i do go through and watch it i'll have to read your commentary again

side note but i love people that really like something and can talk about it in extended detail, i find it fascinating and there's always a new element i can learn

i also have to admit i didn't like abby because well.. an antagonist to the previous protagonists... and since i am the type to side with the protagonist no matter what.. (i actually some bojack analysis videos this afternoon and ig that's the only media for now that challenged that)

well anyways i do remember still siding with her, admiring how strong she was - and when she got close with lev?? say less good lord (i get attached to characters who are trans/have trans implications in media VERY quickly, esp when i watched tlou2 at a time where i was heavily struggling w gender (still am but repressing so it's not as bad))

overall the writing is truly impeccable, i love me some good characterization

i remember watching videos criticizing tlou2, especially its pacing - i think i agreed back then even though to me it wasn't a problem at all while i was watching. as a last info, i'll just say i havent gotten around to watch the series adaptation... i am very scared it'll disappoint and i just loved the games too much it doesn't feel necessary (even though i am the type to want to go through ALL of a media's content usually otherwise it stresses me out)

saw you were having some trouble sleeping, know that you are not alone 🥲 i feel like i'm going insane

~ ☀️

HIII SUNNYYY HIIIIII:333 I OFTEN WATCH GAMES TOO BTWW!!!!! i actually tend to always watch a playthrough as i play a game lmao,, like i'll watch it as far as i've played bc i love to see how somebody else solves the puzzles and the encounters and stuff!!!!!!!!!!

i do still really love the first one too don't get my wrong!!! i think it's fucking revolutionary like it's an incredible fucking game!!!!!!! the choice that joel makes... insane really. i absolutely love it. it does kill me just a little just knowing how much the choice he makes will bear down on ellie........

AHHH I KNOWW I KINDA JUST SPITBALLED i thought abt giving more context to some of the thoughts but i figured then it really would get a little bit too confusing with all the information lmao BUTTT I'M SO HAPPY YOU STILL DECIDED TO READ IT!!!!!! I MEANS SO MUCH ACTUALLY WAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ILYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i definitely understand why people would be upset with abby, i think that's very very normal and i mean.. i was very upset too lmao but i've just seen so many ppl blatantly hating on her and for what she's done and i think that's the stupidest thing ever honestly. like even if you're mad and sad about joel... you should still be able to look at the whole thing from her perspective right??

like imagine if we never saw ellie's and joel's side; ofc the vaccine is one thing - joel took away even the mere POSSIBILITY of a vaccine and no matter how much ppl wanna bash on the idea of developing one, i think that hope really is something that dies last okay. i don't think the fireflies are wrong about believing in that. idk how much i personally would've been willing to do for the cause but yeah i really don't blame them. so when a mf comes in with the immune kid, only to then kill the ONE person who'd be able to make the vaccine and like a million other fireflies alongside with him..... yeah i mean that just makes him sound like a psycho doesn't it lmao

i think it is enough of a reason to go after him AND AGAIN I DO LOVE JOEL I'M BASHING HIM (lol) BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO LOOK AT THE WHOLE THING FROM BOTH SIDES YK? so i really do hate when ppl don't even TRY to see it from her angle...

TLOU2 IS SOOOOOO WELL-WRITTEENNNN!!!!!!!! like so fucking well!!!!!! it hurts so much and it just keeps punching you in the face but that doesn't make it bad yk? i feel like it's all very very realistic. it's fucked up, but that's just how the world is.

AND LEVV!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOVEEE HIMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely love the fact that they have a lesbian and a trans character as the main characters (and abby with her physique bc that's just not smth you see all the time either)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i absolutely fucking adored how they handled his storyline. with how abby handled it when the other seraphites called him by his deadname and all that. and when yara told the entire story and then the whole thing with the mom... ahh that really broke my heart he really is my son i love him sm:((((((

i would definitely disagree with the pacing thing actually!!!!! to me it really fit the way the story was progressing yk?? like obviously the start is slow bc ellie and dina are only getting into the city and they have nothing to worry abt other than the few infected as they're looting and tooting around. and then right after they do meet them it all starts getting faster and that too just felt very fitting. bc it was all chaotic!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like that kept me on my toes even more!!!!

mmm the show.... it had some cool moments. i did really like how they did the bloater scene buuuut overall it was a bit meh actually. i think for me it was too just bc i'm such a big fan of the games. like my hopes might've been too high. and i just hated that they changed so much; like the fact that they don't have spores in that??? that's such a cool detail so idk why they decided to leave it out. i do think that the actors were good though!!!!

but uh i won't be watching the second season. 1. they casted a bunch of zionists as the main ppl so yeah fuck that shit 2. they casted a little like 5'3 skinny actress as abby😐😐like be so fucking serious rn. i think her being jacked as shit is a very important part,, i think it's good to have that kind of a rep but ohh no they just casted the little twig. it's a hard no from me.

OMFG THIS TURNED INTO ANOTHER WORDVOMIT AGAIN HGSAFAGHSHAGSA DAMN ANYWAYY I HOPE I ANSWERED EVERYTHING I FEEL LIKE I'M ON A ROLL SO IT'S A BIT HARD TO ACTUALLY FOCUS LMAO BUT WAAHHH IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE PPL TO TALK ABT TLOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAHH ILYY!!!!!!!

[withasideofshakespeare]

not sure if images work. i am once again asking for thy trans shakespeare headcanons please & thank you. i will Stop entering your ask box and leaving just not tonight

by the way in response to trans tn response (<3 love it) i raise thee t4t seb and ant (tn) (but also tempest) (reasoning: hits you w transgenderification beam)

ALL of my current Shakespeare trans HCs in one post??? I am going to try...

Hamlet:

Hamlet- he/they, transmasc (afab) (I’ve talked about this theory a few times, and I like it a lot for a variety of reasons! See my other posts.)

Ophelia- she/they, ftnb (projection. PROJECTION!!!)

Horatio- either mtnb he/they OR everybody’s token cis friend (Non-binary Horatio makes for 1. a beautiful t4t couple/throuple if Ophelia is here too and 2. a fun story about Horatio’s gender crisis upon meeting Hamlet. Token cis friend Horatio is just funny. Hamlet and Ophelia discuss their shared genderqueer experience and Horatio gives them a thumbs-up like “I don’t understand this but I love you.”)

Laertes- she/him, genderfluid. (I saw Laertes played by a woman the first time I saw this play and now that experience has combined with all the masc Laerteses I have seen to create genderfluid Laertes.)

Rosencrantz- he/they, mtnb (Their name shortens to “Rose”. There is no way he’s cis.)

Macbeth:

Malcolm- they/he or they/them. I cannot decide which direction they’re trans in. (I am generally very attached to Malcolm. Maybe I’ll write a post about this later because there is way too much to say here.)

Lady Macbeth- she/they (Lady Macbeth would insult you for “having pronouns in your bio” but would also hit you for using their pronouns incorrectly.)

I HC like all the minor characters in Macbeth to be trans in one direction or another (not for any good reason, I just think they should be) so trans Macbeth characters speedrun: Caithness- she/they, transfemme; Angus- she/her, transfemme, Ross- he/him, transmasc.

Twelfth Night:

Sebastian- he/him, ftm (Explains identical twins of different genders and I like the complexity it adds to his relationships- see my other post.)

Viola/Cesario/Vi/Visario- they/them, ftnb (Again, this explains the twin thing and I really like the idea of Vi using their identity as Cesario to explore their gender.)

Antonio- he/him, either ftm or token cis man (Similar to Horatio, you either get a great t4t pairing or a slightly confused cis man pulling a guy out of the ocean and inadvertently getting a lesson about trans people.)

Maria- she/her, mtf (Literally no reason, I just think she is transfemme.)

Much Ado:

I haven’t read this one in a hot minute, but Beatrice is a she/they icon.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Puck- they/them (Fairy gender doesn’t work like human gender, but they’re queer even for a fairy.)

Moth- she/they (Fairy gender things. Honestly, this goes for all Titania’s attendants.)

Titania- she/they

Oberon- he/they

Peter Quince- he/they (literally no reason, it just works)

Helena- she/her, transfemme perhaps (maybe he/they Lysander also?)

Romeo & Juliet:

I saw an all-trans/nb production of this play and now pretty much everybody is trans.

Romeo- he/they, ftm (t4t R&J!!!!)

Juliet- she/they, mtf (t4t R&J!!!!)

Mercutio- they/he, probably performs drag shows in his free time (the queerest person in this play, I love them.)

Juliet’s Nurse- she/her, mtf (Transfemme elders deserve love)

And that is all of my trans HCs off the top of my head.

[callmey1]

ykw. So bored I’m not even doing this as an ask game.

1: it’s complicated. Kind of? My mom better than my dad

2: my amazing beautiful gf

3: oh god yes. too personal but many things

4: kinda, used to be way more

5: taken :}

6: either peacefully like in my sleep or doing something good to be remembered for. Like saving someone

7: a baked potato. I needed carbs

8: I play volleyball, it’s very fun. On middle rn but usually an outside

9:yes. Too much

10: uhhhh a while ago. Can’t put a date on it, but depends what you count. Last “real” fight was when me and some friends made an underground boxing ring years back for fun. Like yesterday if you count really small stuff

11: yes, my beautiful girlfriend

12: yeah. no big story I just forgot

13: not really, I dislike a lot of ppl but there’s nobody really specific that I hate

14: my gf ;-;

15: 2 dogs, an Aussie shepherd/swiss mountain and a labradoodle

16: bored and missing my gf

17: not yet

18: no I love spiders

19: no. The things I regret made me who I am today.

20: school

21: get good sleep

22: en este economia?

23: unfortunately none, gonna get at least my ears

24: math science and engineering

25: Not really, I guess I had more time to spend w friends that have drifted a bit but idk

26: hugs

27: god I hope not. Not to my knowledge

28: no

29: uhhhhh not in a bad way I hope. let’s go with no

30: my damn itchy volleyball jersey

31: yes :}

32: green! I’ve also become partial to cyan recently ;)

33: not anymore! shoutout my therapist

34: your honor i plead the fifth

35: touchy subject. I cry exclusively when I have a mental breakdown (not good) so my mom prob.

36: yes.

37: the whole point is you gotta do both

38: I like to think so. I’ve worked on myself a lot recently

39: 15

40: yes, for good reason

41-50 are blank lmao

51: Ooh tough, gotta be my grandmas tacos with fresh homemade tortillas.

52: the thought brings me peace so yes

53: texted my gf goodnight

54: there’s always nuance but I don’t think so.

55: generally no. used to be way more

56: oh. maybe 8. bc of siblings and the afformentioned boxing ring mostly

57: I do now :} keeping my private life private is getting hard

58: rain. love the rain

59: yes I love the snow. It’s so fun

60: yes. I like the idea of that connection w someone

61: I’m neutral on it. as pet names go it’s good and I’d like if my gf called me baby but it’s a tad overused

62: the people I surround myself with

63: maybe? I’ve no real attachment to it but I wouldn’t want to change it. Even if I am trans (I’m some form of queer idk I’m too tired to think abt it) my name is gender neutral so I’d just keep it for convenience

64: no. In fact I’m going to tomorrow.

65: politely decline but stay friends, like they did

66: yes. Both my gf and my best friend are women and I can be myself around them

67: my friend at my vb tournament

68: not for tumblr

69: I do now :)

70: there is now :)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[hobimo]

sorry if i keep sending you asks i think it would feel a lil weird to dm bc my accounts on sns tend to be kind of throwaway accounts bc i don't know how to build an online presence prob freaks ppl out lol but yeah exactly you can tell that a lot of new jikookers experienced fan fiction for the first time with jikook so they just be reading and writing whatever. no critical thinking just big cocks and alpha knots is what it takes. the thing is that imo years ago you used to like a pairing and then get inspired by them to make up stories/characters, whereas i feel that now jikookers first and foremost see jm and jk's relationship and personalities in That specific way and it translates to fics as well. they keep saying it's just fiction but i don't buy it lmao i think it's the opposite so yeah it kinda fucks the whole thing up yk. OH btw i know that author!!! i have one of their naruto fics saved in my bookmarks so i'm def familiar w them, i'll check it out! ty <3

(i'll censor the names just in case) yeah they're rly good! hmm rk1ve1nk did an interesting spin on omegaverse in Forest,F1re. very animalistic even though the characters were made in a lab, super unique fic. Mo0nJar by them too is pretty cool. changing genres completely, user cartograph1c writes these weird lil fics, def recommended!!

HEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i swear i get so excited when i see you in my inbox hello hello hello

yessssss surveycorpsjean has been Around writing bangers. i am just discovering bakudeku the last few months tho so im extra insane about them 👍also recommend watching trigun for normal reasons (please. please please please please we need more people with trigun brainrot. if u like the hanged man archetype and characters doomed by the narratve and tragic siblings you will Love trigun.)

thank you very much for the fic recs!!!!!!! i have heard of the first author but cant think of the fic ive read so i will check it out. im such a fucking sucker for super animalistic a/b/o..... that furry shit is so good

i have so many thoughts about the way people talk and think about jimin these days but im so scared putting them on public posts will get me doxxed or some shit. people are very attached to the idea that jimin acts openly queer which is really like. well. yeah. i definitely think people reallyyyy need to remember it doesnt matter how much you believe someone famous is queer theyre just presenting in a way that makes them happy and you really do NOT need to decide whether that's queer or not lmao in fact i think it says way more about someone when they decide he's queer because he doesnt act like a "typical man". like yeah in his performances obviously he explores gender some times but like sometimes songwriters are also exploring themes and thoughts that are purely creative. sometimes its not about them (and sometimes it is!) but. yeah. you can PERCEIVE him as queer if it makes you happy but you gotta remember thats not fact thats just what YOU think. yknow. and i also think this translates kinda into the fic people consume and create.

like here's the thing. people dont need to ACT a certain way to be considered men like thats ridiculous if youre a man youre a man regardless of how you act or what u say or what bits you have. same for any gender. which is why i generally think critiquing the cringey wattpad fics is a slippery slope. however, do i also think a lot of them have a very distinct cishet girl fantasy..... yes. but its embarrassing to write Y/N fic. so theyve gotta vent their desires somehow which is like fine i dont give a shit what people write. (as much as it bothers me how uncritically people read it and get it popular) but sometimes in a/b/o especially....... its VERY clear when your biases come out. which is why its sooooooooo obvious when someone who has never met real life queer people writes it. for example grouping "women and omegas" like they fill the same role despite being different subgenders when u could specify like. omegas and female betas. if u wanted. implying that women are still women even if theyre alpha but omegas are not men anymore. you get me? the fact that u decided to include male/female gender essentialism in the fic genre specifically around Not doing that is so unbelievably on the nose. and yet i see it everywhere. (i also think this is a symptom of people never having read other fandoms tho. they dont even know about gock [girl cock]).

also fics where the major antagonists are a group of girls that harrass jimin r super mean bc god we cant have a MAN do that or he's a predator. you get me? and the alpha jk who is quiet and broody and doesnt even HAVE to fight bc he's soooooooo strong the other alphas are just scared of his vibes. like you know the type of fic im describing. in general whenever the major antagonist of the fic is a bunch of women who also want to fuck jk (which like. if we're supposed to believe jk is soooo hot... like. they should?) and the author calls them a "gaggle" of women and emphasises how they "giggle" and their high pitched unpleasant voices..... brother we have some serious internalised misogyny to unpack with that one.

sorry this is such a massive rant I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. IVE READ SO MUCH BAD FIC IVE NOTICED SO MUCH

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s now 28 Jan 2024 and there is a disconnect, a gap, between the thoughts I identify as good mathematics and the ability to express them. I’m speaking as both a participant and observer because that gap is the manifestation of the inner space which acts as the reflector and thus generator of the experience within a moment, within your own self as a Thing. It should become more obvious that space-time manifests this precisely by relating objects through tensor calculus, meaning over what we call D3-4Space. I’m now able to see a tensor form continuously as an HG or as the inside of an M inversion into W and back.

Oh, now I remember: gender as focus came out of the runic writing primitive alphabet, before Triangular in the order of understanding. So, we draw an event line between the inverted Ends. And if too much ‘stuff’ accumulates at an End, then it goes around as fast as the IL allows, which means it’s nothing but the information contained in that End. I’m trying to see this without trying to see this.

I see a disc, which makes a ball or hole when extended through CR. I see that means each point on the ball or hole is reflective, meaning like in French that it attaches to itself over some act, which is a 1-0-1 form, which means the idea of the exterior acts as the 1-0-1 form for any pairing, for any observation. What happens then is the mirror no longer reflects outward but rather inward toward the next End. That’s fD and what it seems to be saying is this transforms the view, the perspective, the choice of End in the fD relationship as a process in which any Thing which reaches the mirror or horizon spreads into information, meaning gs process, which then reassembles on the other side.

Oh wow, that is what makes and enables the sieving of souls. That is, if I hear this correctly, the leaving behind of the physical connections of D3-4 means the future permutations fix and that enables comparison, which is an iterative process which sieves.

All this because the name changed by assigning G the same middle name as a bridge. That enables ally conversations and much more.

So the point is that this is true because gravity itself is fCM, meaning the fundamental constant of gravitation is explained as the 2SBE2 within CM1, in base 10 exponential form, times CM64 + CM2.8. Is that sensible? The idea in CM2.8 is that it could vary at any measurement level because fCM is an iterative counting function, so there should or could be some variance. In other words, I just gave up being hung up on the idea of a single measurement being more real because it’s fixed. A meter is fixed until you change gravity and look at it relatively.

Can I ever just say that Gödelian incompleteness is guaranteed by the construction of gsSpace, meaning any system able to describe itself in that manner is describing one which continually constructs. Once you accept that, your entire process unfolds. Gee, thanks Kurt. He just told me that a system able to describe itself as incomplete is telling you that it constructs itself continually, which is why we came up with the labels of persistence, coherence and something else. Oh, consistency. The three ideas are meant to match D3, meaning Triangular, meaning 1-0Segment relationships among these Ends, and these combine so the fD draws those Shards to a tip at either End, meaning we interpolate that line through the center of the bT, and that’s so good it even draws the devil and angel on the shoulder or in other pairings.

That is, you become the Observer and that enables you to see the pathways each of the Between Ends generates into the future. That was a very powerful vision. I need to take a short break.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

can you please write a yandere headcanon for platonic batfamily, based on the ask where Bruce is readers biological dad, but she doesn’t feel the need to get to know him 💓💞

Yandere Bruce Wayne/The Batfamily w/ Biological!Child!Reader

(I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to keep this pretty gender neutral. Also, I didn’t include all the batfamily cause this was just getting too long. I wouldn’t mind making a part two or something later on.)

Bruce had no clue that you existed, honestly. But when he does learn that he has another biological child he’s going to do everything in his power to make up for all the time that has passed. He has Alfred helping him to get whatever information he can on you, no matter how small or insignificant it may be, Bruce wants it all. Not only does he want to know the type of person his child is but also maybe knowing somethings about you could make meeting you go better.

He’s 50/50 whether he should tell the rest of the batfam right away or rather wait and see how meeting you goes. He doesn’t want you to feel bombarded or overwhelmed when he brings you home. It doesn’t even cross his mind that you may want nothing to do with him or the family.

When he first sees you he knows right away that you’re his flesh and blood, no questions about it. As for you, well you’re shocked to say the least to have the Bruce Wayne at your doorstep. You’re even more taken back when he tells you he’s your father. He seems honest and sincere in wanting to be in your life but you’ve done well enough without him so far, why start now?

At first, Bruce is extremely understanding of your decision but the more he thinks about it, dwelling on everything, he starts rethinking it. He may be understanding of your wants but can’t you be understanding of his too? Once he knows about you he’s not just going to turn his back on you and go back to living without you. He’s your father and he’ll be damned if he isn’t there for you.

One of the first things he does after coming back from visiting you is call a family meeting. He calls up everyone and tells them everything, from him having another biological child to him actually meeting you and you turning him away. The family is shocked but they can see how important this is to Bruce. He wants you to be part of his life, his family and they’ll help him any way they can.

Now the whole batfamily is involved in trying to bring you home. Or at least open the door to a relationship. You will have a part in the family whether you want to or not.

There was a time when Damien couldn’t have cared less if he had a biological sibling or not, but now he’s just as hell bent on bringing you home as his father. Maybe even more so. Can you blame him for wanting a relationship? All he wants is to be a family. To be close to you. You don’t have to let Bruce in but couldn’t you at the very least let Damian in?

Damian may even try and meet with you himself. Maybe meeting your younger brother could change your mind? He can’t deny that he is more than a little anxious about meeting you. What if you reject him just like you did his father? What if you also wanted nothing to do with him? He didn’t know how he was going to handle being rejected by someone who was family, not after he had spent so long being accepted by his father and the rest of the batfamily.

You may be more inclined to at least open up communication with Damian being your much younger sibling. It may not be exactly what he wanted but it’s a start. You’re at least showing you want to be there for him and that’s more than enough right now. But he still wants that relationship, he wants you to just give in and be family already but he can be patient. For now.

Damian will keep Bruce in the loop of everything the two of you talk about. It took him a little bit but he got your trust and you’re less closed off then before. You’re still on your guard but you’re giving in a little and that’s what matters. The two of you even meet up time to time for lunch or tea/coffee. It’s nice to say the least.

Damian, on Bruce’s orders, invites you to any and all events/galas they’re hosting at the manor. It would give Bruce an excuse to see you and it would actually feel like you’re part of his life. Damian likes the idea too and he’ll try whatever he can to get you to go. He would even go as far as to manipulate you, making you feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him. The rest of the family would get to meet you too. They already know everything about you but they’ll actually be able to interact with you. Although, Damian isn’t as pleased about that as Bruce is. But it’s a matter of getting you there to begin with.

You aren’t aware of the rest of the batfamily’s involvement in this situation. But they’re there, at least one or two are always nearby. You know for a fact that Dick and Tim are in the picture from seeing them make appearances on the news during galas and Wayne Industries events and whatever else. But you don’t really consider them having any part in the matter between you and Bruce. You couldn’t be more wrong. Everyone is sitting and waiting with anticipation for the go ahead to bring you home.

At first, they’re involvement was just for Bruce and helping him but now after spending so much time watching, following and studying you they’ve grown attached. Your name alone has been a constant for the family, it’s the only topic they’ve discussed for months now. It’s obvious now that the family is not whole and it’s weighing on them. They’re missing something, someone and nothing is right until the family is complete. But they need you to bring it all together.

If you still won’t budge about having Bruce in your life then there won’t be anymore waiting. He’s tried and tried to do what he can to change your mind, to make you comfortable but it’s not working, obviously. It was never Bruce’s intention to force you into anything but now he doesn’t care. He wants, no, he needs his child with him. He just wants to do right by you and make up for everything he missed out on. He says it’s all for you but really he’s doing this for himself. Bruce will finally give the word and the family will bring you home, where you belong with them.

Once they do bring you home, Bruce and Damian are by your side all the time. Mostly Damian. He just adores you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. He’s introducing you to all his animal friends before you’re even introduced or meet the other family members. Damian and the animals are your companions for the most part. Damian will either stay so long in your room with you that he falls asleep in there too. Or he will sneak in to cuddle you. He just wants to be closer to you.

Alfred would probably be the second or even first person who you become close with. He’s nice and attentive both as a butler and an overall grandfather. He’s great really and you adore him. He’s honestly your favorite. You can’t hold anything against Damian for kidnapping you but you can certainly blame Bruce and everyone else.

As much as you’d like to put even a little blame on Alfred for being aware of this whole plan to force you into the family, you can’t. He’s been the most understanding of your situation. Understanding of you not wanting to be here, of you not trusting them, but most importantly he was understanding of you not wanting anything to do with Bruce. That was all your choice to make and it was taken from you. The first time he interacted with you after you woke up in the manor was when he brought you your food and he apologized. Whether it was for his knowledge/role or for Bruce’s action you weren’t too sure but it felt better knowing someone felt guilty.

[huneekrispee]

Where is my lover?

Pairing: c!Dreamwastaken x gn!Reader

Summary: Living outside the Dream SMP, far from the war and chaos, Dream was able to find comfort in you. One day, he leaves, promising to come back to you. It's been months, now you're left wondering... where is my lover?

Warnings: cursing, use of dream's real name, spoilers for the Dream SMP Finale, tiny bit of fluff at the start, angst

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: I've been watching Attack on Titan recently, and the song 'Call Your Name' has me in the feels :( Sorry for being away for so long :( School has been an ass to me, I hope you enjoy it!! -Hunee <3

Also! Please don't mind the pronouns in the song! This is a gender-neutral fic, I merely just wrote the song lyrics as they are :)

She lost her brother a month ago

His picture on the wall

And it reminds me

When she brings me coffee... her smile

I wish I could be with her until my last day

In the forest, a cottage lays peacefully in a secluded meadow near a running stream. The tall trees lay their shadows onto the grassy floor, leaving marks from the sun. Water solemnly runs along, moving to its next destination through the stream. Grass rustles and a soft sigh is heard.

Stretching his arms above his head, a man clad in green slowly sits up, emerald eyes darting around. He yawns. "(Y/N)!" He's now standing up, searching for his lover. Dream's hand reaches down to grab his mask left abandoned on the grass, quickly putting it on.

Preparing his sword, his hand on the hilt, Dream slowly steps toward the cottage. He rests a hand on the door, waiting for something, anything.

A scream is heard.

He now slams the door open, netherite blade on full display, ready to attack. Looking around, he notices no one but (Y/N) in the cozy home, with a kettle on the ground next to them. Lowering his guard, sighing with relief, he sheathes his sword once more, walking over to his distraught partner.

"Are you alright?" Removing his mask, he takes their hands in his. Dream looks at them. (Y/N) looks down, taking their hurt hand out of his. Sighing, Dream quickly leads them over to the sink, running the tap. "What happened?" The coldness of the water helped soothe the burn. "I just, accidentally burnt myself with the kettle. It's okay, I'll live, Clay."

The man remained silent. The only sound heard in the cottage was the running tap water. After treating the burn on their hand, Dream leads (Y/N) to the chair on the side of the room. "You. Sit. I'll finish doing whatever you were doing. You just sit there and take it easy, you just burnt your hand." Bending down to their height, Dream stands face to face with (Y/N). He narrows his eyes slightly. He was always like this. Whenever (Y/N) got hurt in any sort of way, Dream was always on it, almost suffocating them with his overwhelming protectiveness.

They sighed, avoiding his eyes. "I- I was just... I just wanted to make you a coffee this morning. I know you're going to be busy later, so I wanted to make sure that you were energized for your work." Fiddling with their bandaged hand, (Y/N) smiled gently. "I see how you're always so dedicated to the stuff you do, and I wanted to return the favor, even if it's just a cup of coffee."

Dream's eyes softened. It was true, he was dedicated to his work. Running an SMP was hard, especially with some people interfering with his plans recently. He had plans to take power over the server again. Finding and taking everything his people were attached to was difficult, but at least he had (Y/N) to come home to. It was all for them. It was worth the hard work and pain just to see (Y/N) smile at him, showing him their love.

"It's okay. Thank you for wanting to do that, but you don't have to." Running his hand up to their cheek, he smiled. "I do all of my work for you, to help make a safe place for you. Once I sort out the rebellious people, I promise, I'll come back to you, and we can live together in my SMP." (Y/N) gazed up at him, looking into his eyes. They smiled, beaming at the idea.

"Alright! I promise I'll wait for you! I'll always wait for you. I love you, Clay."

"I love you too. I promise I will come back to you. Always."

He would do anything to see that smile on their face all the time.

She said she gave all her love to me

We dreamt a new life

Some place to be at peace

But things changed... Suddenly

I lost my dreams in this disaster

It had been two days. Two days since Dream had left. (Y/N) had since then tended to the flowers and read a few books Dream had gotten them from a faraway village.

'I wonder what he's doing now?' Looking up at the sky, (Y/N)'s mind began to wander. What was dream doing right now? Maybe he was still on his way back to his SMP? Or maybe he was trading with villagers for resources?

They smiled. Dream had been one of (Y/N)'s lifelong friends turned partner. They had met when (Y/N) used to live in a village as a child. (Y/N) was nine and Clay was ten. Dream had gotten into a rough fight with two skeletons and a zombie. He was stumbling around, trying to find help for his injuries.

That was when (Y/N) appeared. Hearing the boy's cries, they ran out of their family home, taking Dream into the house to be treated, screaming for their parents to help him.

They had grown up together as best friends after that. Meeting George and Sapnap, the group loved to go on little adventures together and play their favourite game: manhunt. Dream would always insist on running, with George and Sapnap chasing after him. Sometimes, (Y/N) would join them, but they quite enjoyed seeing the trio panic during the game. It was fun.

A couple years ago, Dream visited (Y/N), saying that he was starting up his own SMP, a place where he and his friends could have fun and just be themselves all the time. The two of them spend hours in (Y/N)'s room, talking about their big plans and ideas for the SMP. Dream wanted to build a cottage near a stream, and live there peacefully with (Y/N). They were shocked, Dream wanted to live with them? "Why?" They asked.

"Well, because of... I'll just show you."

That was the day Clay had kissed (Y/N) for the first time.

I'm crying

Missing my lover

I don't have the power

On my side forever

A month had passed. Nothing from Dream. Usually, he'd send a message through on their server communicator, asking how they were and informing them of his journey and new discoveries. But that didn't happen, not this time.

It was hard. Clay had been such a big part of their life that sometimes they found it hard not to worry about him. They knew he was strong, he could take down armies of people, but everyone had their limit.

Raising the iron hoe, (Y/N) swung down, making way for the new seeds of crops that would grow over the next few months. Wiping their forehead with their sleeve, they sighed.

All they wanted was for Dream to be safe, and for him to come back home once he finished his business in the SMP.

Oh Where is my lover

And I got no power

I'm standing alone, No way

Calling out your name

Heavy pants of breath echoed throughout the underground bunker. He was panicking. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

The plan was to kill Tubbo and make Tommy give him his disks.

It all went to shit when Punz showed up with backup, showing the people of his SMP that had turned against him fully.

"W-woah! Okay! Tommy, calm down!"

The blonde boy didn't listen, hands gripping the axe of peace and lifting it high above his head.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you Dream, right here, right now."

Dream silently gulped. For once, his plan failed. It backfired on him and blew up in his face. 'Sorry (Y/N). Guess I'm not coming back tonight.' He just wanted this to be over. He just wanted to be back in the cottage near the stream, sitting with his lover.

His green eyes darted around to everyone in the room. They looked disgusted, some disappointed, others angry. He knew this would never change. He would never get his SMP back. They hated him. Wanted him gone.

"Does Y/N know you're like this?"

His breath hitched. Eyes went wide.

Sapnap had stepped forward, sword out, pointing it threatening at Dream. "Do they know just how bad you are? How corrupt you've become?!" He was yelling at this point. Sapnap was upset as well. It was hard to believe that his best friend would do all of these bad things, it hurt to betray him, but he had to do what was right.

"S-stop. Stop talking about them."

For once, Dream was vulnerable. He hated it. He was always so soft when it came to them. When it came to (Y/N). Sapnap knew that. He had seen it when they were together, how happy dream was when he was with them, following them around like a lost puppy, longing for their love. It went both ways, (Y/N) was the same.

"Who the fuck is- Nevermind. Dream. Give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn't-"

"Tommy stop." Sapnap stepped in again. "This is important to not just me but for another person as well." Tommy stepped back, axe still prepared to lash out just in case. Tommy kept muttering to himself, something about a green bastard.

"Dream. Where is (Y/N)? You said they would join the SMP with us, but they're not here, nobody has seen them, probably besides you. You said that they changed their mind about the SMP, or was that a lie too?"

Dream gulped, words caught in his throat.

"Tell me, you bastard! Where is (Y/N) and do they know?!"

"No. They don't know. All I wanted to do was protect them from something I knew would happen. The wars, the chaos of the SMP. They didn't need to be a part of that. I didn't want them to get hurt."

It was almost like a plea. Dream's voice was quiet like he didn't want them to hear what he was saying. Sapnap stepped back, somewhat satisfied with his answer. He was also upset, he hadn't seen (Y/N) in years, not since before the SMP started.

Tommy finally stepped forward.

"Now. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you, Dream."

"I can bring people back to life. I can bring Wilbur back."

I said I gave all my love to you

We dreamt a new house

Some place to be at peace

But things changed... Suddenly

I lost my dreams in this disaster

Three months. It had been three long months without him. (Y/N) would spend every other night crying in their bed, missing him. They missed everything about him. No messages from him on their communicator. No death messages about him either.

They had never thought that three months could feel so long.

Surely he was busy doing stuff that would mean the world was safer for them. That's what he always said. He said that he worked for them and that he promised that they could settle down and make a new cottage near a different stream, closer to the SMP.

He said he needed to dig out the rebellious people and make his SMP a better place.

All (Y/N) could hope for was that he was safe and doing okay.

We don't know what is wrong tonight

Everybody's got no place to hide

No one's left and there's no one to go on

All I know is my life is gone

Dream was not feeling safe and right now he was feeling anything but okay.

Tommy had just broken his mask. Split down the middle, from the axe of peace.

He didn't want anyone to see his face, no one but (Y/N) and the people who had already seen it before he started wearing the mask.

His mask was his safe haven. A facade he could hide behind. With it gone, there was now no place for him to hide.

All he had done was tell Tommy that he could bring people back to life. When he mentioned Wilbur, Tommy seemed shocked, but then he seemed to come back to his senses after remembering what Wilbur was like before he died.

He went crazy. Insane. All because of Dream and his stupid motives. He only fueled Wilbur's change, encouraging him to blow Manburg up after Jschlatt took over. Thank God for Karl destroying the button the first time. The second attempt was successful and sealed Wilbur's fate as a psychotic, destroyed ex-president swayed by the masked man into committing destruction.

Tommy was angry at that. At the fact that Dream would even think about bringing back Wilbur.

Enraged, he brought the axe down onto Dream's cowering figure.

I'm crying

Missing my lover

I don't have the power

On my side forever

Sitting up, (Y/N) slowly looked around the room. It was the same as always; no Dream insight. They woke up every day with a feeling of hope that they would turn around and see Dream at the door, back from his trip.

The situation was too much. (Y/N)'s breaths quickened, eyes blurring up with tears, the salty water slowly dripping down the sides of their cheeks. They let out a dry laugh, bringing up their sweater paw hands to their face, wiping the tears.

They stared at the sleeve of the hoodie they had on. It was green.

It was his.

He always left a spare here, just in case.

It always came in handy when (Y/N) missed him.

They sighed, flopping back down onto the bed, curling into themselves and the hoodie. It smelt like him. He always smelt like a run through the forest, with a hint of saltwater and citrus.

It was comforting.

He was comforting.

The tears wouldn't stop. Every time (Y/N) wiped them away, fresh ones would keep coming. Where was he? Was he okay? It was all they could think about.

(Y/N) hugged themselves, hoping to recreate a hug like his. It didn't work. It never worked.

Nothing could ever compare to his hugs.

Still sobbing, (Y/N) cried themselves back to sleep, despite it being morning.

Not like they had any motivation to do anything without the assurance of him being okay anyways.

Oh Where is my lover

And I got no power

I'm standing alone, No way

Calling out your name

Beep.

(Y/N)'s communicator went off.

Dream was slain by Tommyinnit.

[koushisbabie]

nights w kenma

Feeling a bit domestic for Kenma so here’s a drabble that no one asked for

Pairing: Kenma x gender neutral!reader

Warnings: Sexual nature SUGGESTED but there’s literally no nsfw stuff

(gif is not mine)

Soft rain falls on the windowpane, a gentle accompaniment to the stereo playing in the background. Whatever it is that’s playing is catchy and while I water the various indoor plants littering the room, I cannot help but murmur in tune with the song.

Tonight, is not unlike most nights. While study is important, it is also important to take frequent breaks to do what makes you happy – that’s what my friends had told me. Kenma had agreed somewhat nonchalantly to the statement, knowing full well that I would decide to do whatever I wanted regardless of what our friends would advise us, anyway. I chuckle at the memory, almost overwatering a particularly small cactus. Muttering an apology to the little plant I put away the plastic watering can and call for our most recent addition to the family, a tiny white kitten.

‘There you are!’ I kneel to her level, brushing my fingers in her soft fur and scratching underneath her chin as she butts her head into my hand. ‘Are you hungry?’

There is no response aside from very loud kitten purring.

‘Or should we play?’

A ribbon sits in a haphazard pile on the kotatsu, left from the night before. I dangle it in front of the kitten, vaguely away of the footsteps entering the room behind me.

‘Have you thought of a name yet?’

I turn to reply and am met with Kenma’s smile. ‘No, have you?’

‘Not a clue.’

‘I suppose you don’t know what you want for dinner either?’ I ask. ‘You barely remembered to eat lunch.’

‘I would have remembered if someone didn’t convince me to take an early afternoon nap with them,’ Kenma says pointedly. ‘Sorry for keeping you up last night.’

I avoid his eyes, recalling the previous night’s events. ‘It was worth staying up for.’

Laughter lit up his expression as a blush creeps over my skin. He kneels down next to me in grey sweatpants and a dark red hoodie, looking cozier than ever. ‘We should really give her a name soon.’ He says.

‘What about yuki?’ I ask. ‘Because she’s got white fur, like snow.’

Kenma gestures for the ribbon, I give it to him, our fingers brush against each other softly. His hands are warm and inviting and get those thoughts out of your head, YN.

‘Not a bad idea,’ he says. He dangles the ribbon for the kitten, watching with a tug at his lips. ‘What about Kumo?’

‘Cloud?’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s cute, too,’ I say. ‘She is fluffy, like a cloud.’

‘I don’t think that’s how clouds work,’ Kenma laughs. ‘But you’re not wrong, she is fluffy.’

‘She jumps so damn high,’ I remark. ‘Be careful of her claws – kittens have actual razors attached to their paws.’

‘She got me while I was napping the other day,’ Kenma drags the ribbon back and forth over the grey carpet. ‘I have a scratch on my foot that’s like three inches long. It hurt like hell.’

‘Oh no, did you disinfect it?’

‘I just went back to sleep,’ Kenma replies with a shrug.

‘Of course, you did,’ I laugh.

He continues to drag the ribbon, alternating with lines and circles and yanking it into the air, just out of the kitten’s reach. She jumps and twists in vain attempts to capture her prey, a wild beast in the middle of our living room, completely unaware of Kenma and I watching her hunt. I look to Kenma and see his growing smile and the complete fondness for the kitten in his eyes. The warmth of the scene is enough to make my eyes water, and I realize that this is the kind of moment people write poetry about; a moment that I would very much like to snapshot and live in forever.

‘I love you.’

‘Huh?’

The words pull me out of my zone, and I’m staring at him with widened eyes.

Kenma turns his head a fraction to look at me, a tiny smile on his lips.

‘I said, I love you.’

‘It never fails to surprise me when you say that,’ I breathe.

Kenma frowns, jerking the ribbon over the kitten, watching it follow the bait across the floor. ‘I’ve been saying it for years,’ he replies. ‘Aren’t you going to say it back?’

‘You idiot,’ I laugh. ‘Of course! I love you, too.’

‘More than Kumo?’

‘Okay let’s not push it, tiger,’ I roll my eyes playfully. 'What do you want for dinner?’

Kenma shrugs, continuing to play with the kitten. She jumps up and clamps her tiny jaws around the ribbon, pulling it and his arm down. ‘Let’s order takeout.’

‘And play a game together?’

‘You really do love me,’ Kenma nudges my arm. His eyes sparkle an unusually bright gold, a warmth emanating from him that I didn’t notice before. He stands and holds out a hand to me, his other hand carrying the tiny kitten. ‘C’mon then, pretty girl. Our cat child needs feeding, too, help me?’

Yes, this is not unlike most nights, but I wouldn’t dream of living any other life than this.

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