#I’m so mental abt them
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Reverse AU🤯
#good omens#good omens fanart#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#aziraphale#azazel#crowley#kokabiel#I’m so unoriginal ik 😢 but i wanted to finally officially start designing my reverse omens gals#see as i may be writing a fic for them🤭#so expect a lot of art of them and their designs throughout time#azazel is an albino raven#kokabiel calls him dove bc that’s what he thought he was when he saw him the first time#azazel rather be in animal form bc even tho his demon wings are black#his raven wings are white and it reminds him of being an angel#kokabiel promises not to smite azazel but it seems as tho azazel is already smitten#I’m so mental abt them#reverse au#apr. 24#breeberryart#posted on instagram
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The show really hits you with the fact that Annabeth is the head counselor for the Athena cabin. Like, obviously she’s been there for a long time, but none of her older siblings are more fit for the job? How many others who are more experienced and older have already ventured off on deadly quests, never to return? Just how much death and tragedy has this girl witnessed at camp?
#i’m coming to realize there’s a lot of stuff i never looked too closely into when i first read the books#and then had already come to know and accept those facts every time i reread them#in my defense i was in first grade when i started pjo#so. wasn’t overly concerned with the mental and physical toll put on annabeth at such a young age#but still#absolutely crazy#there’s probably smth to be said about young girls being forced to mature early and blah blah blah but i’m too tired for meta#just thinking abt annabeth#this poor girl#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo tv adaptation#what tags are we using#annabeth chase#annabeth pjo#pjotv#percy jackson disney+#rick riordan
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the dream team w/ my own little twist on veggie—i want to play with 21, and Goku’s designs but they’re so iconic….
anyway pray for me bc this is my fighterz squad and im getting beat to holy hell consistently
#dbz#dbz fanart#dbz kai#dbz vegeta#prince vegeta#dbz goku#android 21#dragon ball#dragon ball z#my art#I want them to be friends so badddd#I’m mentally illl abt this one trio right now
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i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.
When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.
And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.
And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.
And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?
#idk this was what i thought#like the first movie did make me feel like ‘ok what was the point’ and left me disappointed#but i thought the sequel had a better take#and maybe i’m just stating the obvious but i’ve seen so many ppl complaining abt this and i’m just thinking#did we watch the same movie?#it’s not trying to demonize the mentally ill (despite the monster being. you know. a demon)#it’s just a sad story about what can happen to us when no one around us BELIEVES us#when we tell them we need help#and also what happens when maybe we push ourselves too far (a la skye refusing to take a break when she needs one)#but even that isn’t really on her bc when she finally BEGS for a break they refuse her one#and then it kills her.#smile 2#smile 2 spoilers#if i’m totally missing the mark tho lmk i genuinely do want to talk abt it
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Cellbit who places flowers by his sons empty bed and wonders why he works for the federation if he can’t use it to his advantage, if all he does is end up alone. Who could barely handle when him and Roier were fighting, who was so grateful when Foolish would stick around to build for him when he was making himself public enemy to gain favor with the feds. Who pleads with Forever, who is so very clearly out of his mind, begging him not to leave him alone, not like this, not now of all times.
Cellbit who is keeping himself as calm and as balanced as he can, because he knows what it’s like to lose yourself, and he knows how isolating it can be. Who’s there for every one of the islanders even if it’s spreading him far too thin, backpack bursting with notes and photos and evidence with all the problems he’s relied on to help solve. Who’s building the Order to make sure that no matter where their allegiances lay, no one on the island will have to deal with the federation on their own. So they’ll have a place they can come together and rely on each other.
Cellbit who just doesn’t want to end up alone. Not again. Not anymore.
#today and yesterday is a combo that has knocked me the fuck out man#placing that flower at Richas bedside song of healing in the bg as he’s like why must i always end up alone where is my son#his voice cracking as he begs and pleads with forever to get through to him desperate because he can’t just leave him alone. not now of#all times. not with the stakes so high#who likes when people stay around him while he’s building. who seeks out interactions. who purposefully seeks#to create community between them#also the egg bears worth mentioning too like. finding that room and an egg who was abandoned and died alone#always remembering it. fuck man#I’m just. I’m so fucking upset dude#sorry guys I’m mentally ill abt him and etoiles and I won’t shut up about them <3#mcyt#qsmp#Cellbit#q!cellbit#z speaks
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> looking for a tenma siblings relationship study
> ask the op if the study is actually about the tenmas or just treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa
> they don’t understand
> pull out an illustrated diagram explaining the difference
> they laugh and say “it’s a good relationship study sir”
> click the post
> it’s treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa
#project sekai#listen I love tsukasa as I love all the wxs members but i also love saki and cannot stand u people#don’t even get me started on when people fridge saki for contrived tsukasa angst. I’ll kill you.#i could also go on a rant abt how saki is so disrespected in general by pjsk fans#& as sm1 with a (less severe) chronic illness I do not appreciate how her illness is only explored in relation to how tsukasa feels abt it#but I think I would get too frustrated#gripping ur shoulders. read the doll story again.#also if ur talking abt tsukasa’s character & don’t mention saki u have automatically failed#before any of his relationships saki is the most important like it’s not subtext it’s literally just text#did we forget the dazzling event where he finally has a breakthrough in his role bc he talked to saki.#or the main story where he’s like yea saki is literally the reason I pursued acting#or the doll event where he’s despondent bc he thinks saki is mad at him & then when honami comes to his school#his first reaction is to sprint over like WHAT HAPPENED 2 SAKI IS SHE OK (sprints home)#or saki canonically being his no.1 fan. smh. u cannot separate them. and why would u want to. they’re so funny.#+ saki saying he made her hospitalizations more bearable. picking up on his mannerisms. crying during the doll festival bc they had a fight.#the dolls being her favorite things bc of how it symbolized their bond.#the complex tenma sibling mental illness web in general makes me crazy.#saki is like I love u but I wish u wouldn’t worry abt me so much and rely on me more & then tries to hide issues to make him not worry#tsukasa is like I’m always worried abt u and I don’t want to burden u because I feel like I need to always be a rock for u#ough. love them.
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When I find myself in times of trouble, South Park comes to me, speaking words of wisdom,
Whump the boys.
#I love to be evil#also yes I’m a fucking Beatles enjoyer I#maxwells silver hammer supremacy btw#one of my wips is that Kenny death on god it’s making my ass emo#PCE shut up about the OJV challenge#I actually did cry writing STATANS DIALOGUE in the beginning bc I’m a sensitive little fuck#probably next PCE drop will be the tolkyle omegaverse Whumpshot bc I’m unhinged and mentally ill#I have too many fic ideas man#most of them are Kyle ships let’s be so fucking fr#I’m abt to be a grown ass woman writing sp whump at the dinner table how mad are my dad and stepmom gonna be#for the record they’re already upset with me for (tw)*relapsing* Ayo#hey at least I got a job today#we’ve established that drunk PCE is clumsy as fuck and I’m covered in embarrassing bruises but hey man. I can injure some fictional dudes#that always helps
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hm
#ooc.#i take a teeny tiny bit of an issue abt this post going around#saying we aren’t responsible for each others happiness#and like you shouldn’t reassure people that you love them or care bc like#on a deeply human level arent we responsible for each other?#sometimes the more i see content about how we don’t owe each other anything or we aren’t obligated to do things it rubs me weird bc like#no you’re right we don’t and we aren’t responsible for each others feelings#and self regulation and taking care of yourself is so important but also like#i feel as though we have a duty to love each other and if someone IS feeling sad or left behind or something#like…. choose kindness? and it’s ok to WANT to know that you’re loved and remembered?#it’s okay to feel self conscious and sad and it’s okay to check in and make sure things are chill#idk the older i get the more this ‘i don’t owe you things’ mentality kind of makes me sad because we are such a community oriented species#and it’s ok to want reassurance#it’s also okay to not want to give it but also like idk#i’m not making sense that post just made me feel weird#if you’re here for yourself that’s fine and if you don’t want to engage with people in such a way that’s also totally fine but#idk there’s a fine line between holding people accountable for self regulation and such#and isolating / alienating people who might need a smidge more connection?#idk ignore me
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#vent post#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by thinking of the Freedom and independence a license would grant me? ❌ 1/10 ineffective#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by imagining all the new & different possible ways i could become injured in a car crash?#✅ 7/10 it just might fucking work!!!#the only true cure for OCD is to face one’s fears. but i just might be able to find a loophole via my ever-worsening mental health#because you don’t have to Face your fears if you don’t Have any fears#and in order to rid myself of my fears regarding harm coming to myself. i simply have to stop fearing being harmed#and what better way to stop fearing it than to actively crave it!#or at the very least become so overwhelmed that i lose the capacity to feel any particular way about it#i’ve found a new OCD cure everybody - Just Stop Caring™️ /sarc#well. sarcastic or joking for everyone else. but im serious when it applies to me#bc so much of my anxiety comes from feeling unsafe. so i just have to reach the point where i stop caring if im safe or not. easy peasy#like yes i know this is flawed and unhealthy logic but i’ve resisted more compulsions via this method lately than i have via anything else#and even outside of OCD stuff even just for all my other anxiety disorders it’s also worked. im actually making a modicum of progress now#need to make a scary phone call? just get into a 3-hour family argument and then you’ll be so upset that you don’t feel fear! :)#genuinely worked very well. scared of a home invasion? well at least it’d mean you’d have some different company for once!#you might make a new friend! or if they **** you at least you’d have some Real trauma for once. it’s a win-win honestly …/hj#so. scared to drive? well even if you Do crash at least it might lead to a hospital visit and then you’ll finally get that attention you-#-want so fucking badly! you’ll finally get a break from everything while you recover. or even if you don’t survive- well. i shan’t say.#anyways. the ‘you’ in those tags is me talking to myself for the record. i wouldn’t speak to anyone else like this. i just speak in the-#-wrong tense/person sometimes. don’t know what’s up with that. just another reason i need to stop speaking altogether. as i’ve learned#i’ve been trying So fucking hard to be nice lately. letting them walk all over me. and it’s still not enough. cause i’m always-#-‘using the wrong tone’ and ‘if all im gonna do is say smthn negative i just shouldn’t speak at all’ ..okay! gladly!!!#sorry for being autistic and unsocialized and under immense stress and being unable to keep my ‘tone’ under control. my bad.#i just need to get blackout drunk with Venti at Angel’s Share. that would fix me.#that or heading down to the bottom of the Fortress of Meropide and curl up like a dog under Wriothesley’s desk. head empty no thoughts#not sexually. just. in a pet-regression sense. i can’t stop thinking abt it. i wanna write a oneshot for it but i can’t focus these days#anyways. the delusional maladaptive daydream dissociation will continue until morale improves. and brother it’s only getting worse.
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the way that some ppl thrive off of drama and conflict is wild to me…..like i cannot imagine. some ppl live their lives trying to get other ppl to argue w them and it’s like why are u doing that…..and then they’re like why does everyone dislike me 🥺 and ppl like that never look inward either they’re like it must be other ppl that are the problem as if there is not one common factor in every conflict they have had. truly i just don’t get it. like try being personable for five mins and maybe u will have some joy in life. on god.
#michelle speaks#watching hrs long youtube videos on toxic ppl really opens my eyes to so much 😭#literally all of my toxic friendships have been w ppl like that. and they ONLY did it w me too. like i am NOT the type of person who really#gets mad at ppl other than my family lol & truly w friends i had healthy relationships w i never had a REAL argument w them#esp bc getting older i have valued honest communication soooo much but when i was younger too we would just like not talk for a few hrs#& then it would be fine w my GOOD friends. whereas the not good friends would purposefully start conflicts w me to rile me up and then act#like i was evil for getting annoyed w them and it’s soooo frustrating to deal w ppl like that bc u cannot win no matter what#but like i am free from those ppl at this point bc i was apparently too wicked for them i guess! 🙄#or genuinely i would not do anything and they would decide i did smth to be mad at#it is crazy what ppl will do to u when u try to be a good friend to them. like i am not perfect in any way but as someone who has lived w#someone w anger issues my whole life & has suffered from what it’s like to deal w that i have put in the work to not be that person#and it honestly upsets me that despite all the fact that i KNOW i am not that person at all like i rarely get mad at ppl fr#ppl that i have loved or cared abt have purposefully tried to idk. act as if i am??? and for what????#and it’s soooo frustrating too bc when u talk abt urself ppl are like well you just don’t know who u are or whatever tf#meanwhile i have been emotionally honest w myself since i was a teenager in the pursuit of developing a healthy mental state to prevent#being unable to control myself so like. i KNOW the type of person i am lol. and i have had ppl be like no u dont etc blah blah ok well what#if i do. what if i dont lie to myself & i am honest abt my emotions & allow myself to process them & figure out the healthiest way to deal#w them. AND i did so bc i care abt how my emotions impact other ppl & it is important that i make rational rather than emotional decisions#ESP when i have emotional dysregulation (which some ppl have heavily used against me) from my adhd which has forced me to learn the skills#to prevent myself from acting impulsively based on extreme emotions as i did when i was younger 😑 what then!!!!!!!!!#anyway i’m yelling at the wall for no reason idk what i got all annoyed abt at this point. genuinely no idea.#genuinely this was abt no one in particular just ranting and raving in a fashion that would win me a lobotomy in the 60s#just reflecting on many things i have felt since like 2011 tbh lmfao. however i use my repressed anger to write an insane rant on tumblr#dot com rather than idk. riling up someone i care abt until i can take my anger out on them. crazy concept!
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I would never wish growing up in a hyper religious African house on my worst enemy. The cognitive dissonance is insane especially if you grow up in the West yet your family (and other African families around you) insist on clinging on to asinine “traditions” that are really just covers for abuse.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#like I want us to fight as equals not with you and your damaged self esteem#why is my mum calling me ‘rebellious’ for having a vibraotr when I’m fully 23???#my mum once went on a rant about me and my sister not upholding ‘traditions’#my naive ass thought she was talking about idk a secret family recipe or dance or whatever#she was talking about us doing everything she says without question#I recall VIVIDLY an almost argument I had with her when I was 14-15#asking her to lay off on pressuring me academically#because I was getting stressed and it started negatively affecting my mental health#and then she just went apeshit on me#‘ungrateful’ is their go to jerk reaction to their children acting like people#oh and my parents are one of the ‘nice’obes btw#I’ve heard wayyyy to many stories of people’s parents just beating the absolute living crap about them#for the most benign shit like having crushes or something#off topic but is it normal for parents to tell kids to be careful what they say to teachers#so that the teachers don’t call cps on the family#I remember my mum telling me a story of a dad giving his kid a black eye#then when the kid’s teacher asked him where tf he got a black eye from of course the kid told the truth#and the dad had to be tried in court or something#and this whole time my mum is telling me this story it’s like I’m supposed to feel bad for this guy#who cares for his family oh so much but whose life is ruined because of the legal protections we have in place to protect kids 😔#so much discourse abt ‘purity culture’on here but I guess many people forget that in a lot of places in the world especially outside of#the west people are NOT open about sexuality at all#when you add Christianity to the mix real weird shit happens#like why is my mum crying about the fact that I masturbate#at least in her eyes I’m not a virgin….#she literally would rather have me shotgun married to a cis man I could fuck than for me to use a vibrator….#txt#African parents
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also selfshipping with a character i really like specifically makes it so im more inclined to write any idea i have for them instead of actively using it as daydream material which is annoying and does not facilitate selfship even for fun
#fang.txt#part of why i like zayne is bc otomes actually like. facilitate fun and delusion#this might not make sense to anyone except other writers#zayne is like a practice outlet for how to selfship as a hobby bc it’s good for my mental health 💀💀#but i’m a writer first and foremost so most of my creative energy gets funneled into writing#sometimes to my own detriment#when i write a lot for a character it feels tricky selfshipping with them#bc im going to immediately ship them more with the reader i’ve written for them#then with Me Specifically. this is why i don’t selfship w rin OR bachira#mao has def posted abt this before but my experiences are also reflective of this. writers curse#i really admire people who can write AND self insert in that writing. i just can’t rip
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the mental illness I have about this guy </3
#I made MYSELF mentally ill finding that parallel between both George and Tyler trying to provoke Miguel into striking them#god….#miguel o’hara#ask to tag#long post#tunes talks 2099#also yeah. I’m insane about how knowing abt the abuse Miguel suffered retroactively makes his horrified reaction to accidentally striking#Dana while hallucinating SO fucking painful 🕳🚶♂️#migedits
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so you see I was on Pinterest and I see this n I kinda had to draw it
(Not my normal content lol I have a Slingshot miku sketch but it kinda looks like shit)
#artists on tumblr#kerosnes#digital artist#roblox#so i had to draw it#roblox art#silly gays#giggling and kicking my legs#I’m talking abt the art don’t get me wrong 🤨#quick sketch#sketch#drawing#doodle#my artwork#digital art#ibispaint art#roblox fanart#roblox avatar#am i mentally ill?#Noobanese#bouncing ball#technically#dumbasses#i love them#this is probably dumb#probably a shitpost#avatar roblox#noob artist#roblox noob#gonna flop
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Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed
#god I hate it here#not to mention you mother and father#SEEING this#simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead#like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀#I don’t know how to fix this#I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days#but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive#Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭#it’s so bad though#I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress#and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc.#it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me#sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong.#Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong#but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me#My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents#but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department#I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really#I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪#As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷♂️#I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you.#seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind#if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps#but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now.#anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize#it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys#I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno#tw vent#tw mention of abuse
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