#I’m so angry at my mother for having me I just want to

[bondagebimbo]

please help. I want to get this kid some extensions and have them dyed to match her hair asap because she’s feeling so shitty about herself.

ANY amount helps. I just want her to feel as okay as possible again. I’m still so incredibly angry about this.

if you can spare anything to help a 12 year old girl not absolutely hate herself and have constant meltdowns because she has no security blanket to hide behind anymore when she’s overstimulated and shutting down, we’d both be eternally grateful.

she doesn’t know I’m doing this for her. I told my mother to keep it a secret but wanted to let her in on my plan.

please help me get this kid back to feeling as good as she possibly can again. I’m begging you. I’m so desperate and I feel so worthless being unable to help her right now when that’s all I want to do. the poor kid doesn’t even want to go back to school anymore, she’s so traumatized and upset by everything.

help me perk her up with some extensions, please. she deserves it. she made the honor roll again last marking period (she does every marking period, she’s smart as hell) and she doesn’t deserve to be feeling like this after accomplishing that.

please help at the cashapp link above. if you don’t have cashapp but use PayPal, send an ask off anon for it if we aren’t moots or send me a DM and I’ll give you the link.

please. I just want this kid to not be spiraling as hard as she is over this. her hair was her pride and joy and I just want to try and give her some of that security back.

please, please help or share, at the least. thank you. <3

I’m genuinely about to go square up with some fuckhead ass kids because my mother just informed me that they have not only once, but TWICE cut my youngest sister’s hair without her consent or knowledge.

the first time was in April and they cut like 6 inches off a random spot of her hair.

and yesterday, they cut fucking 14ish inches off because she started wearing her hair in a braid so no one could cut chunks out of it as easily so they just cut the whole fucking braid off.

I’m going to fucking kill them, who the fuck made them think this is an acceptable way to act and fucking treat someone. deadass going to go fight some fucking high schoolers over this, I swear to god.

kids are so fucking fucked up these days, I’m so beyond angry. she’s so fucking upset and distraught and nothing can be done about it. that hair is just gone. I feel so fucking sad and angry just on her behalf. why are kids so fucking cruel, she didn’t deserve that

[kamiraaah]

I’m sorry for adding onto your agony /gen

But how do you feel about Ruggie crying? :(

Don't worry! I'm totally normal now!

Jokes aside, no need to apologize, I'm fine~ <3

First of all, my son cries ugly……….. He and I are the same-

Before anything else, I consider that, knowing the boys as we do + some of my deductions/interpretations that I have of them... I believe that some of the dreams can be a representation of something so personal, and having that exposed to other people can be scary.

So... After reading the story (up until Ruggie's dream), seeing him crying… I keep asking myself, to what extent was it a cry of frustration for it being a dream, of having something intimate of yours being exposed to your classmates or you having to face a side of yourself that he doesn't accept/ knew he had.

Jack's dream also destroyed me to some extent too! But Ruggie's dream gave me a LOT to think about…

There is a good and bad side to not having all the explanations of why the boys are the way they are, the good thing is that the fandom has MUCH MORE FREEDOM to make and play with their headcanon (not that that would change if it were the other way around), now the bad thing is that WE COULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE.

We could have more events exploring a little more about each boy's family, just like it was with Epel and Deuce's events… IT WOULD BE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope we can explore all of this in future events.

Now.... From here on there will be some spoilers, so whoever is interested in reading more of my thoughts in more detail, it's right below~

So... At first I believed that if Ruggie was at peace with his mother's death then his father's disappearance could also be something he accepted, that maybe he had some resentment but that's it, nothing more, nothing less.

MAN, HOW WRONG I WAS, RIGHT?!?!?!?

I think what shocked me the most was how important Ruggie's father is in his dream, like, okay, he doesn't exactly have a big role there in terms of appearing or interacting with the group/yuu.

Hell, he's only mentioned in one line and that's it! But still, in Ruggie's dream he had a big influence, he came back, with riches and improved his and his grandmother's lives!

Maybe he's angry at his father! Maybe he doesn't want to see the man who abandoned him and his grandmother!!!

But maybe he also wishes his father had come back. That he had stayed and helped his grandmother through the grief of losing her daughter (yes, this is my headcanon, vovó Bucchi is his maternal grandmother), and probably Ruggie, in his childhood, was envious of the other children who had both parents present in their lives…

There may have been days in his childhood when he dared to delude himself that his father would come back and everything would be solved! Having his father back but with money would only be a bonus, the best outcome, but maybe deep down he just wanted his father back!

And being confronted, having to deal with this feeling… makes him FURIOUS.

AND MY FRIEND, JUST STOPPING TO THINK ABOUT IT……… OUCH.

These thoughts will haunt me for the rest of the weeks (maybe my life).

EDIT: I could spend hours and hours talking about this, and look, I'm only talking about Ruggie's father.... THERE'S ALSO THE WEIGHT THAT LEONA HAS IN BOTH JACK'S AND RUGGIE'S DREAMS!! And that in itself is already a long subject!!

[esggs]

choso x geto!kenjaku, cult leader and altar boy, d/s relationship, smut, part 1, choso doesn't know that geto is actually his father kenjaku, prolly my best work yet ngl

Choso lay birthed. It was the second time he’d done so, and he wasn’t any happier this time around either. The foetid water of his mother’s womb dripped from his toes. 

He was pulled to his wobbly feet by Mahito, gentle palm on gentler palm, his toes wetly squishing against the floor with every baby step he took. Mahito taught him to walk, to speak, to eat. 

It was harder than Choso had ever assumed: each finger and each leg and each eye had to move in tandem all the time. Even harder was the next step of development, socialisation. Now that he could speak, he had to learn the correct things to speak: the correct expression that went along with the words. Happiness– mouth spread upwards into a smile, eyes crinkled, “Yay!”. Sorrow– mouth downwards, tears in eyes, shaking head. 

Sometimes Mahito joked that he was Choso’s father, but that didn’t go down very well, so he stopped saying that. Mahito was simply that, “Mahito”. A fellow curse, a really good one, looked out for him and helped as much as he could. Fun-loving. Selfless. Introduced him to other curses as well, the first friends he ever had. 

Hanami was delightful, Jogo gave him good advice, and Dagon was truly adorable. They found it very funny that Choso was technically the eldest of them all. They all used to play football together in the evenings. 

It was okay. Things were okay. His brothers were okay. 

Choso should’ve been happy with that. ‘Okay’ is a perfectly good thing to be. But Choso, created to surpass the human constraints, the best of his kind, Choso, my beloved, he could never have stayed away too long. Sooner or later he would have ended up here. Perhaps the tragedy was how soon it was. He could have had a few months more. 

My son. Geto-sama was always soft-voiced. Come to me.

—------------------

Choso could never tell when he was bad.

Even now, tears in his eyes and whip in hand, he could not understand why he was being punished. I’m sorry, his lips trembled, forgive me, my lord. 

Mercurial, almost bipolar–Geto-sama would never just ‘get angry’. No, he’d fly into a terrible rage, he’d kill and torture, he’d curse whole bloodlines. He was equally benevolent when the mood struck, but at the end of the day that was that– his emotions only manifested in the extremes. And oh how he despised the very sight of Choso right now. 

Scum of the earth! He called him, rotten waste of your mother’s womb! Even now, you insolent idiot, you talk back to me! 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Choso lifted his hand to strike Geto-sama, who knelt at the floor stripped naked but for the whip-cuts. Don’t make me hurt you again, please, my lord, I don’t want to. I’m sorry. 

You think you deserve forgiveness? Getting too big for your britches? Geto-sama, mid-moan as another lash fell on his thigh, inches away from grazing his rock-hard cock, managed to spit acid out in every syllable. You think you know better than me? 

Choso struck another blow on Geto-sama, watching him shiver in pleasure. He was a cruel master, Choso knew, but such was religion. A father knows the right way to discipline his son: Choso would happily take a thousand whippings if he believed he deserved it. But no way could ever rationalise away the pain of hurting his loved ones. 

Hence sat Geto-sama’s skin tearing under the lashes, but the only one clutching at his hair and crying was Choso. The holy man was having the time of his life.  

Harder, you fool. Useless creature.  

 I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Choso wept into his rope-burnt palm, Master, may I whip myself too? 

Geto-sama climaxed onto his thighs, shuddering and laughing, semen mixing with blood dripping into the tatami flooring. Brother-seed, he’d taught Choso it was called. Taught him to crawl like a dog and lap it off the floor, to say thank you and mean it.

There was something romantic about it all, as per Kenjaku. Oedipus and Antigone rolled into one. 

Damn shame none of the Death Paintings turned out female. He’d really wanted to fuck a baby into one, see if it took, see how many generations it took to flush the cursed spirit gene out with his own. Daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter– each with greater Kenjaku than the last. Scientific hobbies to pass his eternal life.  

Did I please you, Master? Choso, eyes still watery and tongue bitter with cum, poor baby. The appeased Geto-sama’s mood swung hard the other way. He lounged back, away from the sticky puddle that Choso licked clean, already healing himself up. 

Plenty, my son. My favourite. 

—-----------------

Geto-sama’s doctrine was of austerity. When he first came to the temple, Choso was granted a robe, a beggar’s bowl, two towels and a shower caddy (soap, shampoo, detergent, razorblade)– and that was all personal items he received. The rest consisted of texts: a set of general instructions that the people living in the temple followed, a copy of the Dhammapada explaining the Noble Eightfold Path, the Lotus Sutra, a children’ comic book of The Jataka Tales, a journal, and a list of banned items. 

Keep off unnecessary temptation and false ideals, Manami explained to Choso. No pornography, no English books (those are all American propaganda), no newspapers, no unapproved books on history, politics, economics, no heresy, no mobile phones or internet connection except on the temple-issued computers, no “unkind” words. 

Geto-sama would always maintain that it was the choice of his disciples to either accept all his rules, or to not be a disciple at all. He respected consent. Besides, true devotion only comes from willingness. 

But there was never a dip in followers’ enrollment, undeterred by the constricting rules, for his pulpit stood true. Of all men in Japan, only Geto-sama’s disciples (as long as they remained loyal) never suffered from curses. 

A divine stamp of my preaching, Geto-sama would proclaim. 

I am the divine, he left out. For now. 

Choso was given the task of washing Geto-sama’s feet 5 times a day. The monk was a stickler for cleanliness to the point of OCD; Choso had been yelled at many times when he missed a spot. Choso’s fingers rubbed tallow-fat soap between his holy toes, dried them with his own robes and massaged lavender oil. Whenever Choso caught a glimpse of Geto-sama’s soles, soft and pink as a deer calf’s tongue, he felt immensely proud of his achievements.

It felt good. It felt human. 

The water used to clean his feet was collected and offered to his disciples. Many believed drinking it would keep disease away. 

Sometimes Geto-sama’s feet came back caked in blood that steeped through his socks. Choso scrubbed extra hard on those days. 

—----------------------------

[cherrysnax]

<guy who is severely depressed

man why do I wanna give up on art and all my endeavors and I always feel like I’m running out of time and I wanna give away all my stuff and sleep and never wake up

[mars-ipan]

GODDD.

[just-rogi]

.

[astridthevalkyrie]

feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

One of the older women I sometimes sit with at the synagogue this morning apparently has ten relatives who are apparently missing. The rabbi said she thinks they might be hostages. Her mother died a month ago. The other woman I sit with always stands for the mourners Kaddish, and when I saw them last they were holding hands

[dykeyuu]

i spent 7 hours studying for one subject today no problem and even had fun doing it + im trying to imagine what middle/high school would’ve been like if i’d been properly medicated

[dancing-with-stars]

my mom is literally yelling at me bc i “study too much” and she says that’s selfish and i shud be doing other things and spending time w my family. like. as if everytime i spend time w my family i don’t just end up hating myself more.

[kalach-cha]

i feel so terribly sick in the head i don’t know what to do

[milo-is-rambling]

Why have I been so angry recently. Like violent rage angry. Like scream until I can’t talk rage. Like need to punch a window and watch the glass shatter. Like so fucking angry. I’m not even pmsing. Like what is happening to me????

[geraldmariaivo]

I don’t want to be rich so I can have five yachts I want to be rich so I can tip 200% at restaurants, and get furniture that helps me work around my squirrel brain that isn’t WHITE, BLACK, OR GRAY FLAT ASS CUBE-LOOKING MINIMALIST BULLSHIT.

[diaz-fox]

you know what, i’ve had enough of being sad. i’m pretty fucking great and if the people i love and care about can’t appreciate that then that’s their loss tbh

[awkwardcourage]

silly little tag dump pls ignore.

roleplay tags

i don't want to go to a second location with you | threads

thank you for an extremely weird conversation | answered asks

with poise and willingness to improvise | nsfw

just when you think this shit can't get any more horrible | dead dove content

it is weird it's scary you wind up just saying shit | starters and memes

you wanna know what's really messed up? | wishlist and ideas

oh no i'm good i'm full of cocaine | open starter

hughie tags

i’m not an infiltrator! | visage

i am so angry i can't even breathe | musings

i can be that person who nobody thinks is awesome but actually they're kind of fucking awesome | headcanons

that was joel at the garden | aesthetics

i wanna be someone who saves his family | about

i've been meaning to clean up the supe stuff for a while now | interests

will you stop calling me that? i’m like six feet tall | it him

oh my god is that a threat or a promise? | wants and desires

misc

that was- that was so good that was really good i enjoyed that | compliments and gifts

don't you dare besmirch billy joel | out of character

where’d you get this stuff circuit city? | resources

you're my second wind | promo

then who the fuck are you?! | about the mun

you know what's insane? | psa

we gotta go in there don’t we? | queue

main verses

you're only human | main verse

you’re having a hard time and lately you don’t feel so good | main verse: first season

you’re getting a bad reputation in your neighbourhood | main verse: second season

you're allowed to make your share of mistakes | main verse: third season

it's not always easy to be living in this world of pain | main verse: fourth season

slow down you crazy child | childhood verse

alternative verses

simon & garfunkel | alternative verses

keep the customer satisfied | martyr verse

america | hunter verse

baby driver | hacker verse

the only living boy in new york | vampire verse

the tower coven | alternate vampire verse

CHARACTERS

the boys

like you're starring in porn version of the matrix | billy butcher

i don’t think now is the time for a major hallucinogen | frenchie

that’s a… nickname? | mother’s milk

she wants to know where you've been | kimiko miyashiro

family

every other nice person can fuck off and go home | annie

i have never told you everything | dad

your promise isn't worth the paper it's written on | mom

other characters

big fan | queen maeve

i'm totally comfortable | homelander

every single thing you say is so gross | soldier boy

RELATIONSHIPS

my mom left when i was six | relationships

the boys

you always were my canary | hughie and butcher

don’t be scared petit hughie | hughie and frenchie

you ain't going... i ain't going | hughie and mother's milk

i thought it sounded great | hughie and kimiko

family

you saved my life | hughie and annie

my wee hughie | hughie and dad

i don’t wanna be like her | hughie and mom

dude i had to ask you out! | hughie and robin

[suguae]

Haunted

Toji cannot move on, until he realized too late.

Warnings: Angst, slightest fluff (reader and baby 'gumi moment)

You were just a girl, standing in front of a man, asking him to love you.

How hard was that for him? Yes, he wasn’t good with his words but he wasn’t good at anything else either. He was just there.

Maybe because the woman he truly loved—he was still mourning over her. His sad eyes every time he watched an old couple dance together, wishing he had been doing that but with her. The cute babies babble with their mothers as Megumi babbles with his father, how he wished his wife was still here instead of you. He never said it, but that’s what it felt like. 

And perhaps that's what it was. 

Sometimes he curses himself out when he accidentally calls you his wife's name. During intimate times only. You tried—trying to keep the emotions in as if it wasn’t breaking every part of you, was the hardest part. “Look he’s walking...” You smiled at the dark haired baby who was walking towards you. Toji smiled, making sure he’d record every second of it; deep down he wished his wife was the one the baby was walking towards instead of you.

And it was wrong—so wrong. 

“This relationship, I’m with you but Toji—Toji this is the loneliest I’ve ever felt.” You whispered while he ate his leftovers, his brows still furrowed from the argument occurring earlier. Having Toji work from 9–5 wasn’t the best but good thing he had you, helping him out with so much. Picking up groceries, picking up his lovely son—until you mentioned that one of his teachers mistaken you as his biological mother. That right there was enough to make Toji angry for weeks at least.

But not this time.

He stopped chewing on his food after you spoke, waiting for more of an explanation. Which you figured he needed, “I don’t think you’re in love with me–” 

“I like you [name], a lot.” He cleared his throat. He leaned back on his chair as his arms crossed waiting for you to continue the sentence he interrupted. 

Right, he liked you a lot. These three rough years you’ve been dating Toji—that particular l word was never uttered once, not even if he was drunk, or having a special moment with you. You huffed trying to find the right words for Toji to understand. That was until little Megumi started crying from his room. “I’ll try to put him back to sleep, finish eating.” He watched as your fragile little body sulked its way to Megumi’s room.

He knew this was gonna happen, he knew you were bound to leave him sooner or later. 

You smiled as you opened the door to see the little Megumi standing on top of his little bed. His hands wiping his tears as he ran towards you, his arms now wrapping around your legs. “Sleep with mama and papa.” He cried out as you leaned down to pick up the little boy. “[name] and papa, not mama okay?” You corrected him, if Toji were to find out that he had been calling you that, then that argument would’ve climaxed.

The little boy nodded, his tears now gone as you swayed him around. “Sleep with you.” He mumbled, leaning his head on your shoulder as he played with a strand of your hair. “Just for tonight.” You whispered, watching Megumi pick up his head and smile. Content with your answer. 

Toji’s heart could just swell at the sight. You treated his son as if he was your own and nothing looked so much better right now, except for the fact that he wished it was his wife.

Megumi was now soundly sleeping between you and Toji, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His eyes shut tightly hearing those piercing words leave your mouth. It hurt when his wife left him, but this hurt was different—different because he knew it was coming yet he didn’t want to do anything about it. 

“I’m sorry—”

“You don’t need to be the one apologizing.” He watched your soft gaze stare at completely nothing. He was confused, this was his fault. He never treated you how you needed deserved to be treated. “It was my fault for throwing myself at a man who simply was not ready.”

The next morning was silent—baby ‘gumi was confused at the saddened look on your face. Constantly walking up to you asking if you were okay. He was still just a baby, yet he read the room so well. “I’m sure we can work this out—” Toji now sitting next to you on the couch, some cartoon playing in the back as Megumi’s little head sat on your lap. “You’re not ready, Toji.” You nodded, eyes still glued on the tv as if it was meant for you and not the little Megumi. 

“And how are you so sure—”

“Tell me you love me then.” Your eyes are now fixed on Toji’s. It was hard, he felt as if his mouth had been glued shut. You sigh, bringing your gaze back to the tv, “I love you—but it’s hard when it’s one sided Toji.” 

It hurt much more, seeing you drive away as the clueless Megumi waved you out. Poor thing thinks you’re simply going to the store. The house that once felt like home was so dull now. Toji sat little ‘gumi down on the couch. 

His constant, “mama?” or “[name]?” while he kept his gaze on the door every so often. Nothing prepared Toji for this. Megumi cried that he wanted to sleep with his mama and papa, his heart swelled knowing that he had been talking about you.

You were gone, just like his wife. But it hurt—it hurt so much more knowing that you’re alive trying your best to…move on. He stayed up late that same night, stumbling upon a video from two years ago. When Megumi first learned how to walk. You and Toji had just started dating but the look of happiness plastered your face as you watched the little baby walking. 

That was one thing Toji never forgot about, how much you loved kids. Telling him how once you had kids of your own you would finally be able to live in peace. How he heard of it less and less as the years went on, he wonders if you still think that.

next part ->