#and now i’m in the angry stage where i’m like… actually no fuck you all i’m pretty fucking great and this is going to be your loss

[diaz-fox]

you know what, i’ve had enough of being sad. i’m pretty fucking great and if the people i love and care about can’t appreciate that then that’s their loss tbh

[oimitocat]

STRAY KIDS REACTION….

… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)

ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.

yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.

“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”

chan blinks. “rumor?”

“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.

“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”

“i don’t want to rest-“

“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”

“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.

you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.

ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.

you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.

even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.

“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.

“i’m not in the mood minho.”

oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.

he definitely didn’t regret it later.

ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.

“what’s-?”

“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”

the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”

“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”

“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.

in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.

ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…

“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”

he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…

“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.

“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.

you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”

and boy did he.

[virgoilluminati]

can u please write a jude fic where your in a talking stage and he comes over and you both make out for the first time 🤭

It's been a long time coming...

A/N: this is my first request in absolutely ages so tysm you have made my day ✨❣️ As I am now unemployed (😜✌️) i have a lot of free time before i head back to university. So please if anyone has any ideas lmk 🥹

Inspo: Jude and You have been close friends since high school, but after one very drunken night, you admit your feelings for him, right before he leaves for the euro's. When Jude arrives home, he has only one goal, to give you that kiss that you've been waiting for.

Oh, you had royally fucked up.

So royally fucked up that you probably shouldn’t leave the house for at least the next two days, perhaps a week, even a month.

You’d told your best friend that you liked him, in a sweaty club, the night before he was going to the Euros. With the drink loosening your tongue, you blurted it out without thinking. The look on his face said it all; he was stunned into silence.

You and Jude had known each other since high school. He was in the year above you, but you both shared a huge interest in football. While he played for the boys’ squad, you played for the girls’. You got really close in the last year of high school as he began prepping for the under-21s football team while you were preparing for university. You became each other’s anchor, someone you both could rely on, no matter how tough it got. You told each other absolutely everything. So when you blurted out that you liked him, it was as if you had shattered an unspoken rule.

You had been drunk. That was the justification you were giving. You didn’t know what you were thinking; you couldn’t control what was going through your head. You couldn’t face him, not now. The memory of his expression replayed in your mind, a painful reminder.

You had sent him one text message, mentioning nothing about the incident, just wishing him luck in the Euros. Maybe he’d just forget it even happened. After all, he was pretty drunk too.

You had spent all morning preoccupying yourself with your uni work, taking the dog out for a walk, cleaning your room… basically anything to distract from the impending apocalypse. But it was pointless; every other second, you would check the blue tick on the message, with a simple “read” underneath it.

Hey, I hope the head isn’t too sore from last night ahaha. Best of luck in the Euros, I’ll be screaming your name at the local, love ya. (Read)

His response came about three hours later. In that time, you had gone through all five stages of grief. First, Denial: you denied that you even told him, that it was a huge mistake. Anger: you were angry that no one stopped you, as it was an open secret between all of your friends but him, but they had let you blurt it out. Bargaining: maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, you know. You could just say it was a mistake or you didn’t remember. Depression: this would be the end of your friendship—that he’d no longer look at you the same way ever again. Acceptance: your life was doomed, and that was the end of it. However, when his response came, you hadn’t actually prepared yourself.

Yeah, my head’s fine ahaha, though I think you drank more than me in the end. Currently on the way to the airport, Trent says hi. Pretty nervous about the Euros, I can’t lie.

You sat there staring at the three dots, wondering what else he was thinking. You cringed at him mentioning your drunkenness. He not only knew but he must’ve remembered. Oh god, this was going to be awkward.

You didn’t respond, noticing the frequent three dots on his screen going rapidly on and off. Sighing, you attempted to make a joke, quickly sending back a response.

I’m sure Trent is feeling it right now ahaha, how many shots did he have last night again? Don’t be nervous, you’ll be ace!

His reply came almost instantly.

Enough to need a new liver, I’m sure. Thanks for the vote of confidence. We’re about to board, talk later?

You couldn’t help but feel relieved. He wasn’t addressing your confession at all. Maybe he really had chosen to forget about it. Or perhaps he was giving you a way out, a chance to pretend it never happened. Either way, you seized the opportunity.

Sure, have a safe flight! Catch you later.

With that, you put your phone down and took a deep breath. Maybe this wouldn’t ruin everything after all. For now, you’d focus on the positives: Jude was still talking to you, and you still had your friendship, even if it was a little shaken.

The next couple of days were a whirlwind of activity. Jude was swamped with training and media commitments, so your interactions were mostly confined to texts. Despite the busyness, he made sure to check in frequently, sending you updates and little messages that kept the connection alive.

After the Slovakia game, which they won in a nail-biting finish, you received a call from Jude. You could hear the adrenaline in his voice, the excitement of the victory still fresh.

“Hey,” he said, a little breathless. “Did you see the game?”

“Of course I did! You were amazing! That last-minute goal!" you replied, unable to hide the pride in your voice.

“Thanks. It felt good out there tonight. The fans were crazy. Nearly thought we were goners—"

"Nah, I knew you'd pull through."

"Really?" His voice sounded hopeful, as if he had more to say, but instead, he coughed and continued talking. "Uh, listen, there is something I need to talk to you about.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Okay, what’s up?”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about what you said."

"What I said? When?" you responded, your heart beating faster by the minute.

"The night before I went, about you liking me. I thought I could just put it aside and focus on the tournament, but… I can’t.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “Jude…”

“No, let me finish,” he interrupted gently. “I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel. And the truth is, I like you too."

Tears pricked at your eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah. I hope you don't mind, but I told Dec and Trent, and after they completely humbled me, they made me realize—I think I've always had a bit of a thing for you. It’s just… I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to lose what we have.”

“You won’t,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “We’ll figure it out together. One step at a time.”

There was a moment of silence, then Jude let out a breath. “Okay. One step at a time. I like the sound of that.”

For the rest of the night, you talked about everything and nothing, letting the conversation flow naturally. The tension from the confession began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of hope and excitement.

The next game was against Switzerland, and you decided to go out to the pub to watch it with a couple of your pals. The place was buzzing with excitement, filled with fans donning jerseys and scarves, and the energy was infectious. As the match began, you found yourself nervously scanning the screen for Jude, your eyes automatically seeking him out every few seconds.

Your friends, of course, noticed.

“Honestly, if you stare any harder, you might burn a hole through the screen,” teased Sarah, nudging you playfully.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the blush that crept up your cheeks. “I’m just… making sure he’s doing okay.”

“Sure, just making sure,” Mark chimed in with a grin. “We all know you’re head over heels.”

“Guys, can we please just focus on the game?” you said, though you couldn’t help but smile.

As the match progressed, every time Jude touched the ball, your heart seemed to leap into your throat. You could hear your friends’ comments in the background, teasing you about how intently you were watching him.

“There he is again, Y/N! Are you taking notes on his every move?” Sarah laughed.

“Come on, give her a break. She’s just a supportive friend,” Mark added, though his tone was dripping with sarcasm.

You tried to ignore them, but the truth was, they weren’t entirely wrong. You were more invested in Jude’s performance than anything else. When he made a particularly brilliant pass, you couldn’t help but cheer louder than anyone else.

“Wow, you’ve got it bad,” Sarah remarked, shaking her head in amusement.

The game was intense, with both teams playing aggressively. Jude was in top form, making crucial plays and demonstrating why he was such an asset to the team. As the game neared its end, with the score tied, the tension in the pub was palpable.

Just then, your phone buzzed with a message from Jude.

Jude: Gaffer gave us 5 minutes, couldn't wait any longer to not text you.

You: What are you doing?! You're supposed to be on the pitch.

Jude: I think this is going to penalties, I feel it.

You quickly typed back, trying to infuse your message with as much confidence as you could muster.

You: Don’t worry, you’ve got this. I believe in you.

There was a brief pause before his next message came through.

Jude: Listen, how about this: if we win, I’ll take you out on a date.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you stared at the screen, rereading his words. A date. With Jude. Your heart was racing now for an entirely different reason.

You: Deal.

The penalties were agonizing to watch. Each kick, each save, each miss, had the entire pub reacting in unison—groans of despair, cheers of relief, gasps of anticipation. You were barely breathing, your eyes fixed on the screen as if willing the ball into the net with sheer force of will.

Jude stepped up to take his shot. The pub fell silent. You could almost hear your own heartbeat. He took a deep breath, ran up, and kicked. The ball sailed past the goalkeeper and into the net. The pub erupted in cheers, and you jumped up, your shout of triumph mingling with everyone else’s.

The penalties continued, and finally, it came down to Trent. The pressure was immense. If he scored, England would win.

The pub fell silent again as Trent prepared for his shot. You could feel the tension in the air, your heart pounding louder than ever. He took his position, focused, ran up, and kicked. The ball flew towards the goal, past the goalkeeper, and hit the back of the net.

The pub exploded in cheers. People were hugging, high-fiving, and celebrating. You couldn’t believe it. They had done it.

Your phone buzzed again.

Jude: We did it! Can’t believe it. Guess I owe you that date ;)

You couldn’t stop smiling, your heart soaring with pride and excitement.

You: You were amazing! We're so proud!! I can't wait x

Jude: Trust me, I’m looking forward to it. See you soon, Y/N.

You spent the rest of the night celebrating with your friends, the victory and Jude’s promise keeping your spirits high. Amidst all the revelry, one thing was clear: your relationship with Jude was about to take a new and thrilling turn.

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. Jude’s team had just secured a 2-1 victory against the Netherlands. The pub you were in was filled with joyous celebration and raucous cheers. You knew Jude would be over the moon, and you couldn’t wait to hear from him.

Soon enough, your phone rang with an incoming call from Jude. You stepped outside, away from the pub’s noise, to answer.

“Hey, Jude!” you answered, your voice bright with excitement. “Congrats on the win!”

“Y/N!” Jude’s voice was noticeably slurred, and you could hear the background noise of a lively celebration. “I can’t believe we did it! We actually won!”

“I know, it was amazing!” you said, smiling. “You were incredible out there.”

“Thanks!” Jude’s words were slightly jumbled. “I’m just so… so buzzed right now! Remember when we were kids and we’d dream about moments like this? It’s really happening!”

“I know, it’s like a dream come true,” you said warmly.

“And you were always… so pretty, you know? I never really understood why you’d hang out with me,” he continued, his voice full of affection. “Everyone loved you, and I was just this goofy football guy.”

You felt a blush rising. “Jude, it didn’t matter. We had so much fun together.”

“Really?” he asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “I always thought… thought you were too good for me. I was just this guy with a big dream, and you were this amazing person who could have been anywhere.”

“Well, I was where I wanted to be,” you said softly. “With you.”

Jude’s voice grew more tender. “I’ve always admired you, Y/N. Even back then, I was captivated by you. The way you carried yourself, the way you looked—it was like you had this light that drew me in. I was always amazed by how stunning you were, both inside and out.”

You could hear Bukayo’s voice faintly in the background. “Jude, mate, turn the phone off. You're pissed-"

Jude chuckled, though his tone remained affectionate. “I can’t help it, Bukayo! Y/N, you have no idea how incredible you are. I mean, just thinking about you—how beautiful you looked back then and how stunning you still are—drives me crazy.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Jude, you’re making me blush.”

“I’m just speaking the truth,” he said earnestly. “You’ve always been this amazing person, and I’ve been lucky to have you as a friend and now… maybe something more.”

You felt a warm flutter in your chest. “I’m really glad we’re sharing these moments together. It means a lot to me.”

Jude’s voice grew more serious, though still a bit tipsy. “If we keep winning, I want to make sure we celebrate together. I can’t imagine doing it without you.”

“I’d love that,” you said, smiling. “For now, enjoy the celebration. You’ve earned it.”

Jude’s laughter was warm and content. “Alright, I’ll let you go. But I’ll call you again soon, okay?”

“Sure thing. Enjoy the rest of your night, Jude,” you said.

As you ended the call, you couldn’t help but smile. Jude’s heartfelt, tipsy confessions and the sound of his celebration had deepened your connection, making you realize just how much you both meant to each other. The future felt full of promise, and you were excited to see where this new chapter would lead.

When England lost 2-1 to Spain, the crushing disappointment was felt by everyone, especially Jude. As he and the team made their way back, he couldn't shake the feeling of defeat.

You, back home, had been anxiously awaiting any word from him. After a few hours, you decided to check in, hoping he was doing okay.

You: Hey Jude, are you alright? Just wanted to check in.

A few minutes later, your phone buzzed with a message from Jude. The text was brief, but the words were heavy with the weight of the loss.

Jude: Not great, honestly. It's been a rough night.

You felt a pang of sadness reading his message.

You could picture him, lost in thought, longing for comfort.

You: I'm so sorry, Jude. I wish I could be there with you too. You wanna hang out tomorrow? Watch a crappy horror movie and crash on my sofa?

The reply came back quickly.

Jude: Sure. I could use a little cheer up. I'd better go, journalists want a chat before we board.

You stared at the phone, hoping your words brought him some measure of comfort. You knew how much this loss meant to him, and how hard he had worked for this moment. The idea of him being alone in his thoughts broke your heart a little more.

You wanted to do something special for him, something that would show him just how much you cared. An idea started to form in your mind, and you sprang into action.

First, you pulled out his favorite hoodie from the closet. It was slightly oversized on you, but it felt like a warm hug. You wore it while you tidied up the apartment, making sure everything was perfect for when he got home.

Then, you went into the kitchen to start cooking his favorite meal. The process was therapeutic, each stir of the pot a way to channel your nervous energy. As the aromas filled the room, you felt a little more at peace, knowing that you were doing something to help him, even from afar.

As the hours ticked by, you kept checking your phone, hoping for any update on his flight. Finally, a message popped up.

Jude: Just landed. See you soon

Your heart skipped a beat. You quickly finished setting the table, dimming the lights to create a cozy atmosphere. You lit a few candles, their soft glow adding a touch of warmth to the room.

When you heard the key in the lock, you rushed to the door, your heart pounding with anticipation. As the door opened, there he was, looking exhausted but so incredibly relieved to see you.

Without a word, he dropped his bags and pulled you into a tight embrace. You held him close, feeling the tension slowly drain from his body as he buried his face in your neck.

"I missed you so much," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.

"I missed you too, Jude," you replied softly, running your fingers through his hair. "I'm so glad you're home."

He pulled back slightly to look at you, his eyes filled with gratitude. "You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you."

You smiled, cupping his face in your hands. "Come on, I made your favorite dinner. Let's sit down and talk about everything."

Later on, after you had let him get everything off his chest, you decided to watch a movie, something that would probably become background noise. As the movie played, you and Jude sat side by side on the couch, the tension between you that seemed to dance in time with the flickering images. You could feel the heat of his body next to yours, and every time your arms or legs brushed, a jolt of electricity shot through you.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye.

He was staring at the screen, but you could tell his mind was elsewhere. The furrow in his brow, the way his jaw tightened, the constant fidgeting-he was still wrestling with the aftermath of the game.

You wished there was something you could do to ease his mind.

As if sensing your thoughts, he turned to you, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry I've been a grumpy sod."

You smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest. "No, don't be. I'm your friend!" You smirk a little as you made eye contact with him for the first time that night. "I'm just glad you're here."

The movie continued, but the air between you grew thicker with unspoken words and emotions.

"Listen. About what I said-"

"We don't have too-"

"No we should! Because, i know I've been swept up with all of the euro's but- I meant what i said. I like you."

"I like you too."

You could feel his gaze lingering on you more frequently, and each time you met his eyes, it was like a silent conversation passed between you.

"Do you remember the last time we watched a movie together?" he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

You chuckled softly. "Yeah, you fell asleep halfway through."

He grinned, the first genuine smile you'd seen from him all night. "I was exhausted. You have a way of making me feel very relaxed. Always have done."

"It's a very good thing," he replied, his voice low.

You felt a shiver run down your spine at the intensity in his eyes. The movie, now a distant background noise, was all but forgotten. The distance between you seemed to shrink with each passing second.

"Jude..." you began, but the words caught in your throat. "I-." His eyes looked up and down at your lips as you settled into his embrace. He looks for any uncertainty before he continues.

"You make me feel seen. Like I can't hide anything from you. It's scary really-"

"Is that so-" you smile, your eyes casting over his lips.

"Mhmm. You make me such a good person-"

"Jude, just kiss me already." You laugh. He smiles instinctively,

He reached out, his fingers brushing lightly against your cheek. "Can I...?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, unable to form a coherent response.

Your heart pounded in your chest as he leaned in, his breath warm against your skin. The world seemed to hold its breath as your lips finally met in a soft, tentative kiss.

It was like a spark igniting a fire, the kiss quickly deepening with a hunger that had been building all night. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss grew more intense.

You responded in kind, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pressed against him, the kiss growing more intense. His lips were insistent, exploring yours with a desperate need. You could feel his heartbeat against your chest, mirroring your own racing pulse.

Jude's hands roamed, tracing the curve of your back, sending shivers down your spine. Your skin felt electrified wherever he touched, each caress igniting a new wave of desire. You gasped as his lips left yours, trailing hot kisses down your neck, nibbling and sucking gently at the sensitive skin.

"Jude," you moaned softly, your fingers tightening in his hair. He groaned in response, the sound vibrating against your throat as he continued his exploration, his hands slipping under your shirt to caress the bare skin of your back.

Your breath hitched when his lips found the hollow of your collarbone, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin. You arched into him, your body responding instinctively to his touch. The heat between you was almost unbearable, a consuming fire that threatened to engulf you both.

When you finally broke apart, gasping for breath, you looked into his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Do you know how long l've wanted to do that?" you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of relief and desire.

Jude chuckled, resting his forehead against yours.

"Probably as long as I have," he replied, his breath warm against your lips.

You both knew this was just the beginning, but for now, the world outside could wait. All that mattered was the two of you, tangled in each other's arms, finally giving in to the desire that had been simmering between you for so long.

[flowerfreya]

Moving

The Office AU part 5

Pairing : poly!141 x reader

Content: reader breaks up with boyfriend ! Yayyyyy

Lmk if there are any major typos I did this on my phone lol

Masterlist

You know that calling him would be a waste of time but you're a glutton for punishment, “Where are you?”, you ask him, trying to sound normal but your body hit stages of grief in one fell swoop but seemed to get stuck at anger.

“You know that you're not out there by 4 p.m, I’m leaving your ass, I told you that”, he sounds so carefree, like what he did was fine and makes sense.

“I came down by 4:05 , you couldn’t wait five minutes?”

“No, I had to teach you a lesson”.

You look up at the sky like that will give you an answer, but you know the answer, you've known the answer and this has cemented it. You let out a sad chuckle and shake your head , this can’t be your life. You look over to your right and see John just staring at you, actually they are all staring at you. You give them a tight lipped smile and then a thumbs up, even though you know that they must have heard you on the phone with your now ex.

“You know what, fuck you”, and then you hang up.

“Do you need a ride”, Soap speaks up first. You look over and you know you have tears in your eyes, you don’t want to give him any of your tears but your so frustrated and angry and , sad. And you honestly cannot stand being in the presence of another man right now , “No, thanks”, you answer back.

“You sure”, Gaz speaks up.

“I’m sure”, you order an uber and your going to get your life together. Today. First, thing is that you do is go to the car dealership. You already researched the car , test drove it, and just needed to save for the down payment and since your worked at the office to get at least three paychecks you had enough.

~

You're outside your apartment in your new car, well it used but it's new to you and you need your stuff but you don’t want to go in alone. You're tapping your hands on the steering wheel thinking who you can call to help you out.You’re thinking about the scariest person you know and it’s Simon. The phone rings twice before he picks up,

“Hello”, his voice sounds deeper over the phone.

You introduce yourself again to him like he hasn’t worked with you for a month in half, “Hi, are you busy”, you try to sound cheary but you know you are trying too hard.

“Alright?”, he ask.

“Are you busy right now”

“Depends”

You then have to go through the whole spiel of how you need your stuff from your apartment but you kind of scared that your boyfriend will get rowdy when you try to get your things.

“Send me your address”.

~

A black SUV rounds the corner and pulls up right beside your car. Not only does the driver door open but so does the passenger and the back doors open with Price, Soap , and Gaz getting out as well. 

“New car, Hen?”Johnny asks. 

“Yeah got it today” , you know you could be nicer but you really don’t feel like making small talk right now, you just want to get your shit and go. Simon doesn’t look at you as he asks about what they are getting. 

“You all really didn’t need to come, I just needed some back up” 

“Yes, we did”, says John, his fist are clenched and he’s working his jaw so hard it looks like he's chewing a lemon drop. 

“Not really , but okay”, you sas back. He cuts his eyes at you, tilts his head to the side and stares like he can see through the anger that you are using a shield and the anxiety of not knowing where you are going to sleep tonight. 

“You okay?”, he ask. No your not , but fuck it. 

“Fine, let’s go”, you croak out.

As you head up to your apartment, you don’t know where to put your hands and your hair starts to feel itchy. You just need to get in and get out , grabs some clothes, some pictures , and your makeup and go. Of course things are never that easy. 

Inside the apartment things are just as you left it this morning, which of course it is because your boyfriend is a lazy fuck. 

“Finally made it home?”, he says like everything’s fine and dandy and does he think your going to laugh at that. You opt to say nothing and just start getting your stuff ready. 

“Need any help getting stuff together?” , ask Soap

“Who is that ?”, that gets your ex to come out and find you. 

“They are helping me move”, you don’t look at him just continue getting your stuff and putting it in duffels. 

“What do you mean, move”, now he sounds confused like he can’t believe this.

You look at him then , eyes squinted , getting pissed off all over again, “did you really think that I was going to stay after that ?” 

“You're making a big deal out of nothing” , he argues back.

“No, I am not, we are done” 

Then he starts to do this weird whine thing , like he’s trying to make himself cry. He comes over to you and grabs you by the knees and begs , “please don’t leave me, please”. 

You shove him away from you but he tries to come back to you but they all three step in front of you like a wall. 

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you”, Simon says darkly. 

He keeps begging, and honestly it’s embarrassing, and it starts to make you feel better. He’s getting what he deserves. He continues to beg until you leave with your stuff. 

Once you get down the parking lot and your stuff in your car you turn back to the men that helped you, “Thank you, next beer on me” , you say with a smile. 

“We’ll take you up on the offer now” ,Soap laughs. 

“Oh”, you really didn’t think they would. You were being polite, to be honest. 

“Can we reschedule, I was hoping to go to sleep early today” , you say with a sad smile. 

“Where are staying”, Simon ask 

“Oh a hotel”, hopefully for your car or the office but they don’t need to know that. 

“Oh yeah, which one?, ask Gaz. 

“You know, down the street.”, is there one down the street? You hope so. 

“Did you make a reservation?”,  asked Soap. You turn towards him feeling a little bit overwhelmed with all the questions. 

“Ummmmm, yes” , no but you're going to make one when you ask for a room , right. It should be fine. 

~

They don’t believe you, not for one second. They want to take care of you, feed you , house you but they don’t want to scare you. It’s hard for them , they want to fully send it, that's what they usually do and it works for them but you're different, they can tell. For now, they need to start slow, at least as slow as they can. They get you in the car and have Price drive yours to the hotel that they deem the safest and nicest. They make sure that Price is the first to arrive, that he pays for the nicest room and when they move past the front desk without having to check in , they tell you to not worry about it. They take care of you, make sure you're safe and when you fall asleep without getting anything done, they unpack for you and the only payment they need is so they each get a pair of panties.

[nadvs]

both sinners (part three) (end)

pairing drugdealer! rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

content warning drug use

summary as a stripper, you’re well aware that someone you know could walk into the club at any moment. when rafe is your newest customer, you’re actually glad to see a familiar face.

» masterlist

*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

You stagger backwards, hitting the table behind you, as you watch what’s happening in front of you in disbelief.

Rafe is crazed, punching the man who touched you over and over and over again.

“What now, bitch?” he shouts over the music. “Try and touch her now!”

One of the bouncers comes rushing towards the booth and holds Rafe back. It’s a struggle, with Rafe overpowering him and getting one more punch in, before a second bouncer helps to constrain him.

You watch them push him away. Rafe looks to meet your eyes, his chest heaving and his mouth ajar, as he gets pushed out of the club.

You blink in incredulity, unsure of what to do, until you finally go backstage into the dressing room to regain your composure.

You’ve never seen someone so angry over something someone else did to you.

You know what happens to guys that get thrown out. Rafe won’t be let back in for at least the night. It’s possible he doesn’t get let in ever again.

You pull your phone out of your locker and text him: i’m off at 11. we can meet somewhere?

You go back out onto the stage, looking for another customer to make your money and try to shake off what just happened, at least for the rest of your shift.

After work, you meet Rafe at the address he texted you after he was kicked out. He booked a room at a five-star hotel.

“You know, you didn’t have to start swinging,” you tell him when he meets you in the lobby, a coy smile on your face. “We have bouncers for that.”

“They’re obviously doing a great fucking job,” he snips sarcastically. “He grabbed you twice.”

“And I slapped him twice,” you reply. He shakes his head in irritation, taking your hand to lead you to the elevators. Thinking about watching you get touched like that makes the anger swirl in him all over again.

“Not hard enough.”

“So protective,” you tease.

Rafe pushes the top button. You smirk. Of course he got the penthouse suite.

“You realize if they remember what you look like, they might never let you back in, right?” you say as the elevator doors close, leaving you completely alone in the enclosed space.

“Strip at another club, then,” he rasps, leaning down and dragging his hand off of yours to squeeze your ass.

“You think it’s that easy?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

“What place wouldn’t want you?” Rafe asks, gripping harder as he pulls you against him, his lips an inch away from yours.

The way he looks at you makes you feel like he’s utterly obsessed with you. It’s addictive.

The elevator doors open and he slaps your ass to usher you out.

The suite he booked is massive, covered in marble surfaces and gold decor. Rafe leads you through the foyer to the bedroom, where the city lights glimmer behind floor-to-ceiling windows. The place is exquisite.

“Couldn’t you have found something nicer, baby?” you joke, turning to look at him.

He scoffs a chuckle as he closes the distance, hands already up your skirt. He’s been turned on since you stepped on stage hours ago, imagining how hard he’s going to fuck you.

Rafe kneads your ass before roughly pulling the skirt up to your waist. He thinks back to the way the sheer fabric of the dress you wore on stage hugged your body under the club’s lights.

“You know what?” he says.

“What?” Your breath hitches as his hand presses up against your middle.

“I’m gonna buy you more of those slutty little outfits.” His voice is low. “So while you’re dancing up there, you think about who bought you what you’re wearing and who fucks you.”

By the way his cock is hardening against you and the way his breath is spreading on your skin in shallow pants, you can tell he gets off on spoiling you.

You lick your lips and tilt your head, nudging your nose against his.

“I’m the only one fucking you, right?” he mutters, his fingers pressing harder. You love how frequently he likes confirming it.

“Why would I need anyone else?” you reply, loving how you can rile him up.

When his fingers spread your lips apart, you exhale shakily.

“Only I can play with this pussy, yeah?” He rubs over your wetness and finds your clit, making your knees weak.

“Fuck,” you whisper. “Yes.”

“You gonna dance for me, baby?” Rafe rasps. “I’ll give you more tonight than your customers make in a year.”

You nod, words escaping you. You feel him unzip your skirt, the fabric dropping around your feet. You pull your top over your head, left in just a bra and panties, and his eyes take you in as if it’s the first time he’s seeing you.

“Damn,” he huffs. It’s unbelievable how much you turn him on. The fact that you know how sexy you are, dancing every night for men who you don’t let touch you. Only he can touch you. “How are you real?”

You giggle, regaining some composure.

“Sit down,” you say, looking at the big bed.

“Over there,” Rafe tells you, pulling you to follow him. He takes you to the bathroom, where you spot a baggie of coke beside the jacuzzi.

Once you strip down between hard, wet kisses, you sink into the hot, bubbling water. You straddle him and he gazes at you through heavy lids.

“You want a bump?” Rafe asks, tilting his head towards the coke. He already took a hit before you arrived.

You nod, craving the feeling of elation the coke gives you. He grips your waist with one hand while he reaches for the baggie with the other.

After he makes a line on the edge of the tub for you, you lean over and inhale the powder, giving him an opportunity to palm your tits.

He loves the way your skin glistens from the water as you settle back on his lap. Your head is swimming with euphoria as you kiss him, his fingers rubbing over your nipples. You start to writhe, rolling your hips and giving him a lap dance.

You dip your hand under the water’s surface, gripping his firm length, prompting him to angle his head back with a groan over the sound of the tub’s jets, his voice echoing through the room.

You can’t wait any longer. You perch up to slowly sink onto him, his tip dipping into your entrance.

“Fuck,” Rafe huffs. Your hands are on his shoulders as you take your time, breathing through the pressure of his cock stretching you.

“Good girl,” he groans. “You can take it all. I know you can.”

You bite your lip as you finally reach his base, dizzy from how deep he hits you, enveloped by hot water.

You start to rock on him and his mouth locks around the peak of your breast. He loves the feeling of pure sin while he fucks you, both of you high and rolling.

You rake his hair back, leaning so your chest presses against his forehead as you start to bounce on him, panting in his ear.

Rafe’s hands curve around your ass as you roll on top of him, the water splashing as you quicken your pace. You start moaning and he squeezes you harder, his face contorting in pleasure.

You moan in his ear as you come to a fast orgasm, clenching around him in flutters. He hardens inside of you soon after, cumming in rhythmic throbs.

“Goddamn,” he groans, thinking back to all the parties he noticed you at. “I can’t believe this is what I was missing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t know you were this much fun.”

You giggle and the sight of your smile makes him smile back.

“Now you know,” you say with a shrug.

You’re absolutely spent when you lie on the plush bed, body bare and wet, not bothering to cover up with a towel. Rafe loves the sight of you like this and he leans down, smoothing over your cheek with his hand as he kisses you.

“We’re getting room service,” he murmurs. “What do you want?”

“The most expensive thing on the menu,” you joke. He’s unfazed, pacing to the phone surely to order exactly that.

“Wait,” you laugh. “Let me see the menu.”

Half-naked and high, you and Rafe sit on top of the bed, the television on in the background, eating at midnight.

It must be the coke and the sex and the delicious five-star food, but you get the impulse to ask what you’ve been wondering all night.

“We both know you’re the only guy I’m seeing,” you say, “but am I the only girl?”

“Obviously,” he says simply.

“It’s not so obvious,” you say with a laugh.

“Now it is,” Rafe says. You appreciate his direct approach.

“Why do you deal?” you ask. Seeing his house just once would tell anyone he comes from a wealthy family. He doesn’t exactly need to be selling drugs.

Blue eyes meet yours and he smirks.

“Why, you wanna go into business?” he quips.

“I think I make enough dating you,” you respond with a laugh. Rafe likes how exclusive it sounds. Dating. Meaning you’re his only.

“I like making my own money,” he says honestly. “And I like having coke around when I want it.”

“You’re a no bullshit type of guy.” Rafe appreciates the compliment.

“Why do you strip?” he asks.

“Why, you wanna go into business?” you echo.

“Shut the fuck up,” he laughs, nudging you. You decide you’ve eaten enough, letting the gentle push shift you to lie on your back again.

“You’re hot. You’d do great as a stripper,” you tease, raising your arms above your head and sighing. He takes in the vision of you lying like this, relaxed and joking around with him, and he realizes he hasn’t felt this happy in a while.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Rafe says.

“It’s great money,” you reply. “Especially if you have a rich drug dealer obsessed with you. It’s funny because you’re the only customer I’d dance for for free.”

He laughs again and you look over at him, sitting up shirtless, and smile. It feels like something out of a movie. A drug dealer and his stripper girlfriend laughing together in an extravagant hotel room.

Rafe moves the paper containers off the bed and sinks between your legs, laying his head on your chest.

You run your hands over his firm, warm shoulders and sigh at the sensation he gives you. He seems to live for the next 24 hours only, and so do you, and this is why this works so well.

He gives you a wad of cash before you part ways.

Your next shift is a few nights after your time in the hotel and Rafe is relieved the bouncers don’t recognize him. He settles in a cushioned chair in the dark club, knowing if they denied him entry, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and it would get ugly.

His heart skips when you walk out in stage wearing a black lacy set he bought you. You drift around the pole like a goddess, slowly undressing, making him hard in seconds.

Rafe looks away when you approach a man sitting in a booth. He might break someone’s jaw if he watches you dance on them, especially if they touch you.

He knows your interest in these guys isn’t genuine, remembering how you told him he’s the only one you’d dance for for free. This will just be a shitty part of dating you, and compared to the good parts, he can take this.

A few minutes later, you walk over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” you say over the throbbing music. “Thought I should tell you that guy just asked for a private room. Don’t freak out.”

Rafe’s jaw tightens as he takes a pull of his drink. You notice his irritation immediately, leaning over to speak into his ear.

“This is just work,” you say. “I can’t wait to clock out so we can fuck like we did in that hotel room.” His lips quirk up in a smile.

“I’ll break his hands if he tries anything,” he warns. You believe him.

After your shift, you and Rafe head to a party at one of the mansions sitting on the north side of the island.

But instead of leading you to the front door, he pulls you to the dark, empty shoreline, and you can tell by the look on his face that he’s turned on.

“On the beach?” you say, amused.

“You said we’d fuck, didn’t you?”

When you find a place on the sand, the night sky nearly starless, the waves crashing, you pull each other’s bottoms off with fervor.

Rafe’s on top of you, breaths shallow as he nips at your shoulder, guiding himself into you with a hunger deep inside him. It seems the more he has you, the more desperate he gets.

“I was hard all fucking night watching you dance,” he mutters, sinking into you, inch by inch.

“Fuck,” you whisper, tilting your hips, sinking into the sand. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“Who else can do this to you?”

“Nobody,” you answer. “I’m all yours, baby.”

“Yeah, you fucking are,” he says, pulling back and thrusting into you. His hand grips around your neck as he pounds you, claiming you with every slam.

You mean it. You’re his, happily.

After you make your way up to the house party, Rafe pulls you onto his lap the second he finds a seat on the massive balcony facing the darkened beach where you just fucked.

A man comes by asking for a gram and Rafe pulls out his bagged coke, trading it for bills. After the deal, he places a few twenties in your pocket, kissing the side of your neck.

You still feel the sand on your skin as he skims your leg with rough fingertips.

Maybe you’d be ashamed doing this with another man, being paid for sex and getting spoiled and doing drugs and fucking every chance you get.

But with Rafe, the sin is so sweet that it doesn’t feel wrong at all. You’ll happily live in the next 24 hours with him, over and over and over again.

(the end)

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

[mabelstone]

I Could Be Yours

hozier x f!reader

part one of lullabies <3

hi i have risen from the dead... new matt stone will be coming soon i promise!! i've just become infatuated with hozier recently so i had no choice but to devote a new fic to him <3

i didn't proof read because it's bedtime, i will fix tomorrow if there's any errors!! soz

cw: none really... just a shitty boyfriend and drinking. still 18+

word count: 3.5k

“That’s your man, ‘uh?” The deep voice behind me made me jump, forcing me to peel my eyes from Joe and the leggy blonde he was laughing with.

“Stop doing that!” I gasp, clutching a hand over my chest, jokingly punching Andrew in the arm. “But yes. That’s him,” I sigh, wanting to cut the conversation before it had a chance to start. Andrew was far too friendly to be talking to my walking storm cloud of a boyfriend.

“I didn’t know his sister was playing tonight,” he confessed casually, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. “Which one is she?”

“He doesn’t have a sister,” I shake my head, quirking an eyebrow at the human tower before me. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Huh?” He played dumb, though a soft pink blush tinted his cheeks, looking like he wished he could eat his words.

“Where did you hear that?” I repeated, the room suddenly too hot for comfort, despite Joe's protests that I was dressed like a 'tart,' in his words.

“I’m sure I misheard, hearing’s a bit shot,” he lied through his teeth, and he must be a fool to believed I'd let him play it off.

“Andy," I faced him now, trying to force him to meet my eyes he was so desperately avoiding. "Who did he say that to?”

“That woman,” his voice sounded pained, as if he were almost ashamed to tell me. He was too smart, he could read me, and if anyone could read the room, it was him. I just went quiet, his warm calloused hand placed on my shoulder, feeling like it might burn a hole in my dress. “You deserve better,” he professed sincerely, pulling that horrid face at me, the type you pull when you feel really sorry for someone.

I huffed some pathetic excuse of a response, forcing my eyes to the ground. There seemed to be a magnetic pull, forcing my eyes back to Joe, hurting my own feelings again and again. I can’t recall a time he’d ever looked that interested in me. Not unless he was trying to bed me, which was usually after a stressful day at work or after a massive fight.

“If you were my girl, every man and their dog would know. You’re too good for him,” his voice was warm, like being pulled from a frozen over lake and straight into an oven. His Irish brogue more apparent than ever, and I cursed myself for the way my heart leapt in my chest.

He just slipped past me onto the stage for his set, unaware that he just made me feel nearly every emotion in the span of two minutes.

“That’s not even a real job,” Joe scoffed, shaking his head indignantly like he always did, as if everyone were beneath him. He’s always looked down at others for as long as I’ve known him. His Napoleon Complex makes him feel like he’s six foot eleven, when in reality, I barely have to tilt my head to kiss him.

I bit my cheek to suppress an angry concoction of insults, swallowing it down and opting for, “so my job isn’t a real job?”

“Babe,” he groaned, one soft hand slipping off the steering wheel onto my thigh. “You know that’s not what I meant. It’s just not very manly, is all. He should be doing something that’s not just for chicks.”

“He’s a carpenter, actually,” I lied, arms barricaded across my chest as I tried to focus on the London Bridge we were rolling over. “Manly enough for you?”

“Could you relax? Jesus Christ…” he pulled his hand from me quicker than he placed it there, sighing emphatically. “You gettin’ your period or something?”

“No!” It was my turn to scoff now, turning to face him. His stupid face was contorted like it always was, as if he’d smelt something rotten. “You’ve hurt my feelings, Joe.”

“Oh, everything hurts your fucking feelings,” he seethed, hooking a turn so sharp I just about fell into the driver’s side. I muttered under my breath, gripping onto the handle at the top of my door, as it was highly likely I was going to need it for the rest of the trip. That’s my Joe. Sickly sweet when you first meet him, then cold and sharp when he drops the act. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this shit.”

“Excuse me?” I straightened up, my stomach twisting in that familiar nauseating knot.

“You. Your shit,” he rolled his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time, turning his head to me, deadpan. “Constantly starting arguments, whining about everything. You’re exhausting me.”

Then the rest of the entourage strides in on cue. The searing pain in my throat, the tears prickling into my eyes. The shame and embarrassment that pummel me like waves in a storm. Oh, God, the embarrassment. I feel my cheeks glow red, and suddenly the chill of late Autumn is comparable to a sauna, and there’s not enough air in the passenger side to satiate my lungs.

“Don’t cry,” he groans again, refusing to look at me again. And suddenly, I’m twelve again, trying to cry silently in my father’s car. Sigmund Freud would be laughing in his grave right now. “I’m sorry," he sighs, reaching for my leg again. I jerk away. "Shouldn’t have taken it so far.”

Though his apologies are just words at this point. I’ve walked this road too many times to not know any better. The rest of the ride home is silent, my knees pressed into the passenger door, trying to focus on anything but the fact that I will probably never leave. I will board this train wreck until he beats me down to nothing.

"He just has this weird infatuation for you. A blind man could see it," he tsked, shaking his head as if it were my fault. "And you just egg him on. He's a proper knob."

"He's the knob? What'd you think of your sister's set, hm?" I seethed, silently letting the tears fall as if I were in some sappy drama.

We didn't speak for the rest of the night, Joe slamming his car door, storming inside to lock himself in our bedroom. I washed my face in the kitchen sink and fell asleep on the couch in the small hours of the morning.

Joe didn't come to my show tonight, opting for the local pub with his work mates. I can't lie and say I was upset about it. Another thing I couldn't lie about is how Andrew's words played on a loop in my head for the rest of that night and all day today. I know he was just saying it to comfort me, but is it sad that I've never been so flattered?

"Hey," I smiled, the condensation from my breath hanging between us as I walked up to Andy. “Thought you were quitting.”

He was leaning against the brick wall outside the bar, a halfway smoked cigarette to his lips. He looked nice tonight. His usual unruly curls framing his face so perfectly, two layers under his dark denim jacket. He grinned infectiously as always, never once tearing his eyes from mine as he shrugged, “I’m no quitter.”

“Shut up,” I groaned, finding my spot beside him, now pressing my back to the cold bricks.

“So, where’s Jake tonight?” Now his eyes were fixed on the busy street before us, his arm brushing mine each time he’d put the cigarette to his lips.

“It’s Joe,” I corrected with an eye roll, though there was no malice in my expression. “And he’s watching the game with his mates. We’ve barely spoken since last night.” My heart ached a bit at the reminder of what he’d said to me on the drive home. You’re exhausting me. If his wish was for me to rethink the past five years, he certainly got it.

He gave me that pathetic poor you look again. "Come on. I'll buy ya' a drink. I insist."

"Who am I to deny you?" I grinned, following close behind him as he stubbed his cigarette out under his boot, holding the bar door open for me.

He ordered himself a whiskey on the rocks, a coconut margarita for me. We slid into a small booth at the back, the walls practically vibrating from the drunken chatter and the obnoxious drum solo on the stage.

"She's busy tonight, eh?" He half shouted across to me, leaning over his drink.

"I know, right? I've never seen the place like this," I agreed, taking in just how alive the atmosphere was tonight. "Remember me when you're famous."

"You're not easy to forget. You remember me!" He grinned at me, taking a large swig of his drink. I couldn't tear my eyes from his Adam's apple bobbing with each sip, his eyes dark in the dim lighting. I felt extreme guilt, forcing my eyes anywhere but his direction.

He must've sensed it. This man could read me like a book. Thankfully, he steered the conversation smoothly, "what're you playing tonight?"

"Oh, no. I'm not singing tonight," I shook my head, polishing off my drink in a sip a little bit too big for my mouth. "Want another drink? My shout."

"Why aren't you singing?" He ignored me, pulling a face that screamed, are you mad? "If there's any night for it, it's tonight."

"Honestly, I just want to get pissed and be the observer for once." I smiled sweetly, hoping he couldn't see through the facade. "What're you singing then?"

"An original," he smiled coyly, eyes faltering.

"Oh, Andy! How exciting," I cheered, genuinely happy for him. He'd shown me some of his poetry, and with such a beautiful voice, there's no possibility he could go wrong. "You're going to blow the roof off. This calls for another drink."

"As you wish," he grinned, holding eye contact as he finished off his glass, the faintest pink tinge to his cheeks.

When I made my way back to the table, my heart sunk a bit when I saw a girl leaning against our table giggling, tucking thick red locks behind her ears. He was laughing too, body language practically begging for more. I might be exaggerating. Why did I even care? I am in a committed relationship.

Funny, he looks just as amused as Joe did last night.

I made my way to the table, sliding his drink to him.

"Hi, I'm Harper," she smiled wide, a beautiful array of pearly teeth on full display.

"Lovely to meet you. Y/N," I smiled back, unable to look at Andrew. "I'm gonna go watch the show. I'll leave you to it."

I turned my back just as he was about to protest, sipping at my drink as I kept my word, finding a seat before the stage. I couldn't really focus on the music though, my mind reeling over what Joe was up to. He hadn't even texted or calls. His location was off too. I grabbed another couple drinks, bumping into Andrew when I made my way back to the stage.

"Y/N," he reached for my arm, a sincerely apologetic tone to his voice. "I'm sorry for earlier, that was rude."

"No it wasn't," I replied a bit too quick, brushing off the apology. "You're single, you can do whatever."

"I meant having someone at our table," shit. Was that the wrong thing to say? Their margaritas are always too strong. "I was enjoying just having you and I time."

"No worries, there's always next time," I smiled sweetly, though really, I just wanted to get in the nearest cab, pack all my shit at home and move back to Bristol. "You're nearly on! I'll be front row." I turned away again, finding my way back to the nice girls I made small talk with earlier.

Sure enough, Andrew was up within the next fifteen minutes. The announcer, somewhere hidden backstage spoke, "please give your warmest welcome to our absolute favourite, Andrew Hozier-Byrne!"

He walked onto the stage, acoustic guitar hanging from his neck as he awkwardly made his way onto the stage, adjusting the microphone to his height as he did each night.

"Ehm, this song is called I Could Be Yours," he offered a tight lipped smile to the crowd, a few cheers heard here and there. "Thanks guys."

I couldn't help but grin at his shyness, the complete opposite of how he was with me.

I could be soft and sweet, I could be hard and loud.

I could be everything you'd ever need somehow.

Why don't you hear me sing out from the lost and found,

I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

He seemed to be scanning the crowd, probably for Harper, meanwhile all eyes were on him, basking in his glory. As if he were rain in a drought, not a single soul in the audience not mesmerised by his syrupy voice. Myself included, wide eyed, the epitome of awe.

Why don't you try on me? Why don't you take me home?

I'll match the colour scheme of your bedroom walls.

Oh, take a dose of me, it doesn't hurt at all.

I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

His skilled fingers danced along the strings, his eyes, when not scanning the crowd focused on his measured movements. To say I was moved was an understatement. His voice thick and sweet as honey, his eyes shining under the stage lights, the hypnotic effect he had on the crowd. Unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Then his eyes found mine. It was almost like nothing existed in the same realm as him and I. Just us.

Oh God, I'd benefit from your sweet tenderness.

Oh, thank God, it could've been, 'cause nothing comes from it.

That'd be a helpful thought if I could remember it,

but I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

"Thanks," he nodded awkwardly to the crowd, eyes leaving mine as he did the stage, the audience cheering and clapping.

I couldn't put into words the feelings I felt if you held a gun to my head. No doubt my eyes glistened back at his, tears of joy swimming at my waterline, completely estranged from last nights'.

"He was looking right at you!" One of the women I'd met shouted over the cheers, shaking me by the shoulder. I just hummed some response, smiling and beelining for the exit.

The bite of the outdoors was a stark comparison to the warmth of the bar, my nervous system seeming to reset instantaneously. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 8:45pm. I told Joe I wouldn't be home til midnight and not to wait up for me.

It was wrong to feel this way about Andrew. He was my friend. I had Joe. Even if we had our rough patches.

My phone buzzed wildly in my hand, and when I checked the caller ID, I nearly didn't pick up.

I sighed. "Hello?"

"Hey," Andrew spoke loudly over the drunken chatter, a few good one mate, and, good on ya's here and there. "Where'd you run off to?"

"I, uh, had too much to drink," I lied through my teeth, kicking at the gravel beneath my feet. "I'm just heading home."

"Oh..."

"I'm out the front," I piped up, not wanting him to think he caused this. Or that I was running away. Because I was not. Right?

He hung up and shortly after, his tall figure emerged, his shadow reaching me before he did.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "Great song, Andy. Really beautiful." I meant it.

"Oh, yeah. Thank you," he smiled, looking down at his boots. "How're you getting home?"

"I was gonna get a cab, or an Uber, or something." I shrugged, acutely aware of how breathy I sounded. Beyond tired. I wasn't lying when I said I'd had too much to drink.

"No need, I'll take you." He offered, digging his hands into his pockets and gesturing with his head for me to follow.

"It's okay, Andy, really," I countered, giving him my must sincere smile I could muster. I was too confused right now. Nobody had ever made me feel this way while I've been with Joe. "Get in there and mingle. They loved you."

"I'd rather know you're safe."

I ended up in the passenger seat of his car. He'd kindly put the heater on full blast, though no doubt, he'd be sweating under all those layers. I protested, but he kept fretting about how red my nose was from the cold.

"You alright?" He asked, my head leaned against his window.

"Yeah," I breathed, struggling to keep my eyes open, though my mind was very much awake and racing.

"You've been acting funny, did I upset you?" He glanced over at me, concern written all over his features. Had he always been this handsome?

"It's not you. I'm sorry," I lifted my head to look at him. Tequila and I are not friends. I flipped down the visor mirror to see a tiny it of smudged mascara under my eyes. I wiped it away, sighing for the hundredth time. "Joe just... things aren't going well. I slept on the couch last night. Well, barely. He's just so mean, you know?" I babbled drunkenly, a huge weight lifting after finally telling someone. "He always picks at everything I do. You complain all the time. You put too much salt in this. That isn't a real sustainable job, babe. We never shag anymore... Shag? Isn't that disgusting, Andy?"

I continued my drunken spiel, probably including more details than I should have. Andrew just kept his eyes on the road, sharing glances here and there to let me know he was listening.

The grande finale, "why can't all men just be like you? You would make a wonderful husband, you know. You wouldn't tell your girlfriend she's too lively in bed, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't," he laughed, shaking his head. He looked at me fondly. For once, it wasn't a look of sympathy. It was kind of sad, almost.

"I've said too much, haven't I?" I probably looked like a kicked puppy at the realisation, but one smile from him eased any disconcertion I had.

"Not at all," he sighed, staring at his hands on the wheel. "I have a lot to say. I just don't think I should be the one saying it."

"Well, now you have to tell me," I countered, lolling my head to the side to face him.

"He's a fuckwit," he shook his head, his grip on the wheel tightening. "He doesn't deserve you. Not even a little bit. He's going to fuck it up and won't realise what he's lost until it's too late. And you know what? Good."

He pulled onto the road before my house with perfect timing, getting out of the car to open my door for me. He took my hand in his, helping me out, and thank goodness he did, because I still nearly rolled my ankle. I laughed and let myself fall into his chest, steadying myself after a hearty, obnoxious laugh.

"Oh my God, I've made a complete fool of myself tonight," I sighed, this time it felt like a release, not a breath weighing me down. "Thank you for taking care of me, Andy."

"Anytime at all," he grinned leaning against his car. I couldn't help myself, lurching forward at him, wrapping my arms around his torso. My head barely reached his shoulder, even when standing on the curb.

"I loved your song," I murmured against his chest, pulling back to grab his face. He turned ghost white. "You are my favourite singer. Ever."

His cheeks darkened as he looked away, chuckling softly with the shake of his head.

"Drink lots of water for me tonight. That's an order as your favourite singer."

"Yes, Mr. Hozier-Byrne," I grinned, turning on my heels and heading for the door. The garage door was 1/4 open. Joe must be home early.

I fumbled through my purse for my keys, finding them after what felt like an eternity of great difficulty. I was going in with a good attitude. I was going to sit him down and hash this out. We can fix this. We've been together nearly 6 years, this is just a rough patch.

I walked up to my bedroom, sure my ears were deceiving me. When I opened my bedroom door, I saw red.

omg angst... just hear me out i have good direction for this one. i hope u enjoyed <3

[dystopic-view]

I hate his guts 18+

Akaza x fem/afab reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: You and Akaza share the Upper Moon 3 title, but you absolutely can't stand each other. One night, while walking through the woods back to the Infinity Castle, you cross paths with Akaza, who’s bored and itching for a fight. You try to ignore him, not interested in wasting your time, but Akaza won’t let it go, accusing you of being scared of facing him. What starts as more usual bickering between the two of you turns into a tension filled exchange, where his arrogance clashes with your indifference, setting the stage for more than just a physical fight.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒: nsfw, enemies to lovers, bickering, mocking, teasing, descriptions of violence, mentions of blood, suggestive content, fluff, smut, fingering, mild degradation, possessiveness, aggressiveness, hate fucking, choking

𝐖.𝐂: 5.6K

The moon was shining brightly up in the sky as you made your way through the familiar dark woods. You were returning to the Infinity Castle, casually walking underneath the moonlight. When you heard it. The snapping of branches, coming from the trees surrounding you. Your eyebrows furrowed, and the scent of a familiar presence entered your nostrils. Upper Moon 3, Akaza.

The one demon you had to share your rank with.

And the one demon which you could not stand.

You loathed him and his smugness, always so full of himself.

You briefly looked around, but you weren’t able to spot him.

“What do you want Akaza, don’t you have Demon Slayers to kill?’’ You spoke into the shadows in an unamused tone and continued walking forward, fully aware you were being watched from above.

You heard a loud thud a few feet behind you, and assumed he might’ve leapt down to be on your level.

You stopped walking, and turned around, facing him directly.

"Come on, let’s fight," he replied, almost bouncing on his feet, that insufferable excitement radiating off him.

His fists clenched and unclenched as though they couldn’t stand being still for too long.

"I’m bored. You’re here. Perfect match."

You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him, like the conversation was over. "I’m not interested."

The bickering between the both of you was unfortunately constant.

Akaza was always rude and arrogant towards the other Upper Moons and demons, but ever since you quickly scaled the ranks and started sharing the title of Upper Moon 3 with him, all of a sudden, his jabs were solely directed towards you.

You suspected he acted that way out of jealousy.

Or maybe he was just angry that he wasn’t able to defeat you or Doma to surpass you in the ranks, but it was still extremely annoying nonetheless.

"Not interested?" His voice took on that mocking tone he always used when he didn’t get his way. "Are you scared you’ll lose? Scared of me?"

A chuckle was heard from behind you, and footsteps approached as you walked away.

"Scared?" You barked out a laugh, shaking your head. "I just don’t feel like wasting my time with you."

Akaza appeared in front of you in a flash, moving faster than you could blink. "What, you have something better to do out here? Staring at trees is more exciting than a fight with me?"

You shoved him away with a scoff, your patience already wearing thin. "Yes, actually. Trees don’t talk."

Akaza stumbled back, but the grin on his face only grew wider, like he found your annoyance entertaining. "You’re just making excuses."

"And you’re just desperate for attention."

His smile faltered for just a second, but it was noticeable enough to catch.

Akaza’s eyes darkened, the playful glint vanishing as he straightened, his posture growing more rigid.

"Desperate for attention?" His voice was quieter now, lower.

He took a step closer, his presence looming, suffocating. "You think I'm the one desperate here?"

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest, but didn’t back down. "If the shoe fits, Akaza. You’re always provoking me, always pushing for a fight. It's like you can’t stand being ignored."

His eyes narrowed, the tension between you thickening like a storm about to break.

For once, he wasn’t smirking. "You think too highly of yourself."

His voice dripped with venom now, any trace of his usual bratty demeanor gone. "Maybe I just want to remind you of your place."

Your pulse quickened, but you forced yourself to stay calm, even as his energy became heavier. "And what place is that? Beneath you?"

He scoffed, his jaw tightening as he took a few steps forward, now standing directly in front of you. "You act like you’re above everything. Me, fighting, all of it. But let me remind you something, you're no different. We’re both demons, and no matter how much you pretend you're better than me, we’re the same. You can’t change that."

You clenched your fists, biting back the urge to lash out, his words stinging more than they should have.

"And here it is," you said nonchalantly, keeping your voice steady. "The real reason you’re here. It’s not actually about a fight, is it? You just can’t stand the idea that I might not care about you at all."

That for sure struck a nerve.

Akaza’s eyes flashed, his fists clenching tight enough that his knuckles cracked. "Shut up."

You took a step closer, refusing to be intimidated, your voice dropping into a low whisper.

"I hit a sore spot, didn’t I? Despite all your strength, all your arrogance, you're just looking for someone to notice you. That’s why you keep annoying me."

Akaza’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with a force that could’ve shattered your bones if you hadn’t snatched it away from his grasp quickly enough, jumping away from him, keeping your distance.

His eyes bore into yours, the barely-contained fury in them making your breath hitch.

"You don’t know anything about me," he growled, his posture shifting into an attack stance. "And you’re not as untouchable as you think. Keep pushing, and I’ll make you regret it."

For a moment, you just stared at him, the intensity of his gaze challenging you to react. Then, slowly, deliberately, you took a few steps forward, your eyes never leaving his.

"Go ahead and try." You uttered, bracing yourself for his impending attack.

You faced him once again, an angry expression on your features, and 4 tendril-like black appendages popped out from your back in a defensive stance.

He didn’t waste any time, smirking before launching himself in your direction, his body rapidly approaching as he closed the distance between you.

You dodged his lunge with precision, your tendrils moving faster than his fists.

In a heartbeat, you wrapped them around his arms tightly until his movements were restricted.

Before he could react, you lifted him off the ground, suspending him in the air.

He glared at you, his muscles tensing against your hold, testing your grip.

"Impressive," he hissed, struggling to pull his arms free. "Didn’t think you had it in you."

"You don’t think," you replied coldly, pulling the tendrils tighter, "That’s your problem."

His smirk faded into a look of discomfort, but you could see the defiance still blazing in his eyes.

Akaza’s jaw clenched as he fought against your hold.

You felt the power rising in his body, his muscles tensing as he fought back.

But you weren’t giving him any chance to escape.

You’d had enough of his provocations."What's wrong?" you taunted, narrowing your eyes, and pouting your lips. "Not as easy as you thought?"

"You’re enjoying this a little too much," he grunted, his voice laced with irritation.

Even bound, even suspended in the air, he still managed to sound infuriatingly smug.

But there was something satisfying in the way he writhed under your control, no longer in command of the fight.

You stepped forward, tightening your tendrils again, watching as his smirk trembled for a moment.

"What's wrong, Akaza? Not so tough when you can’t punch your way out of everything?" You insisted, your voice dripping with mockery.

His eyes flashed with fury, a low growl rumbling in his throat.

He twisted violently in your grip, and for a second, you felt the pressure of his strength pushing back against your tendrils.

But you held firm, refusing to let him free.

"You think this will stop me, demoness?" he spat, his voice strained but defiant. "You’re only making me want to crush you more."

"I’m not here to entertain your bruised ego.’’ You shot back, taking another step closer.

You leaned in, your gaze piercing into his. "But maybe now you’ll learn to shut up."

For a brief moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.

Akaza’s struggles completely stopped, his eyes locking with yours in a dangerous, electric stare.

"Absolutely not," he snarled.

In a sudden, violent burst of strength, Akaza slipped one arm free, the force of his movement so powerful it sent a shockwave up your tendril, causing you to lose balance.

Before you could react, he grabbed hold of the one that had bound his other arm, yanking you forward with terrifying speed.

The ground beneath you seemed to disappear as you were pulled into him.

His free hand darted toward your arm, his fingers wrapping around your wrist.

He twisted his body mid-air as you unwillingly released him, and before you knew it, the positions were reversed.

He smirked, now gripping you tightly, pulling you closer with that infuriating grin plastered on his face. "Nice try," he breathed, his eyes flashing with satisfaction. "But it’s going to take more than that."

You scoffed, your tendrils lashing out in an attempt to break free, but he managed to grab them fast, his grip unyielding.

His body was pressed against yours, too close for comfort, the air between you charged with tension.

Both physical and something else.

"You actually thought you had me, didn’t you?" he taunted, his breath warm against your skin, his voice dangerously low. "Did you really think you could control me?"

Your tendrils twitched with agitation, but his grip was unrelenting.

He leaned in, his face inches from yours, his tone low and mocking. "You can bind me all you want, but I’ll break free every time."

His voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, as if daring you to try again. "You’re strong, but I’m stronger."

You could feel your blood boiling, adrenaline running through your veins as your anger grew. The arrogance, the way he loomed over you, all of it was infuriating.

But you weren’t going to let him see that.

Not yet.

"Stronger?" you sneered, your tendrils curling tighter around his arms, still attempting to force them back down. "All I see is someone who can’t stop fighting for my attention."

His smirk faltered just for a second, but you saw the look on his face, like his pride had been wounded.

So you decided to press harder.

"Is this what it takes for you to feel important, Akaza? Throwing yourself at me over and over like a desperate puppy?’’

Akaza’s eyes darkened instantly, the playful glint replaced by something far more dangerous. His grip shifted, fingers tightening with enough force that if you weren’t a demon, your skin would have bruised instantly.

His breath was faster now, frustration radiating off him, but beneath the anger, you could feel something more.

Something simmering just under the surface.

"You’re really pushing it," he growled, his voice a low, dangerous rumble.

His face was so close now you could feel his breath against your lips, his gaze burning into yours. "You think you can talk down to me like that and walk away? You think I need your attention?"

You leaned in closer, refusing to break eye contact, daring him to go further. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Akaza’s grip tightened even more, his fingers pressing into your skin with bruising force.

His entire body tensed, the air between you crackling with raw, palpable energy.

His smirk had long vanished, replaced by a hard, intense expression, his jaw clenched as if he was fighting against something he couldn’t control.

And then, without warning, he pulled you even closer, his lips hovering just a breath away from yours, his voice dark and unsteady. "Careful," he hissed, his eyes locked on yours, the tension so thick it was suffocating. "You might get more than you bargained for."

Your heart pounded in your chest, the heat between you almost unbearable, but you refused to flinch, refused to give him the satisfaction.

Instead, you allowed a smirk of your own to creep onto your lips.

"Funny," you murmured, your voice calm despite the storm raging around you, "I was about to say the same thing."

Akaza’s eyes flared with rage, and in a blur of motion, he slammed your back against a tree, pinning you there with his body.

His chest pressed hard against yours, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned in even closer, his voice a growl. "You think you can handle this?"

Your tendrils shot out again, wrapping around him tighter, pulling him closer until there was no space left between you.

You could feel the rapid beating of his heart against your chest, matching your own, and for the first time, his exterior cracked.

His eyes widened just slightly, the raw tension now boiling over into something far more dangerous.

"I can handle anything you throw at me," you breathed, your voice low but steady, your gaze locked with his. "The real question is, can you?’’

For a split second, you saw the look in Akaza’s eyes shift.

The rage, the frustration, it was all still there, but beneath it was something else.

His lips curled back into a feral grin, but this time it wasn’t cocky or playful.

"You have no idea what you’re getting into," he whispered, his voice rough, his body still pressed tightly against yours.

His hand moved up, trailing along your arm until it reached your neck wrapping around it, his touch firm but not quite painful.

His thumb brushed your skin as his eyes bore into you with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. "But you’re about to find out.’’

You felt your breath catch in your throat as the weight of his words sank in, but you didn’t flinch, didn’t move.

Instead, you let the tension build, let it grow between you like a volcano about to erupt.

"Then stop talking," you whispered, your voice barely audible, "And show me.’

His grip on your neck tightened, just enough to remind you of his power, but not enough to truly hurt.

His eyes, wild and hungry, flickered with something unspoken, his body pressed so close that it felt like he was trying to consume you.

The tension between you burned hotter, the space between your bodies practically nonexistent, and every nerve in your body screamed to push him back, to do anything but let him have this moment of control.

But you didn’t move.

Something inside of you craved this feeling.

"I see that look in your eyes," he growled, his voice low and dangerous as his thumb pressed slightly against the racing heartbeat in your neck. "You’re pretending you hate me, but deep down, I know you’re enjoying this."

His lips curled into a grin as his thumb lingered against your pulse, feeling the rapid beat beneath your skin. "Admit it," he whispered, leaning in closer until his breath ghosted over your ear.

Your breath hitched, your body betraying you in ways you couldn’t fully control.

Every nerve was on fire, and though you hated him, though you truly hated him, there was something undeniably intoxicating about the way he hovered over you, dominating the space between you both.

"I don’t need to admit anything to you," you hissed back, voice tight, as if trying to keep the truth buried deep.

Akaza chuckled darkly, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "You’re not as good at hiding it as you think."

His fingers slid from your neck, trailing lightly down your collarbone, a gesture so gentle it sent a shiver through you, in stark contrast to the intensity of his words. "You can keep lying to yourself, but your body’s already told me everything I need to know."

Your tendrils twitched, overwhelmed with the urge to fight back, to stop this never ending power trip. But something was keeping you there, on the fine line between desire and hatred, unable to fully break away

And Akaza could see it in your eyes, how you were coming to terms with what you were feeling. "You don’t have to fight it," he whispered, his voice like silk wrapping around you. "You won’t win."

He smirked, his lips curling in satisfaction as if he had already won. "You can’t hide it from me, not when your heart’s racing like that."

His lips were close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off them, but still, he didn’t close the distance.

He was toying with you, daring you to break first.

Your tendrils coiled tighter around his body as they responded to your growing frustration. "I know exactly what you are," you spat, keeping your voice steady despite the heat rushing through your veins. "A broken, pathetic demon who needs a fight just to feel alive."

Akaza’s eyes flashed with anger, his fingers tightening briefly on your neck before relaxing, his control wavering for just a moment. "And you’re a coward who hides behind her words because she’s afraid to actually fight."

You scoffed, glaring at him even as his body pressed harder against yours. "I could crush you right now if I wanted to."

"Then why haven’t you?" His smirk returned, that insufferable arrogance coating his words. He leaned closer, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "Maybe you don’t hate me as much as you think.’’

Your heart slammed against your chest, but you refused to let him see any hint of weakness. "Or maybe I’m just waiting for the right moment to put you in your place."

Akaza chuckled darkly, his breath hot against your skin. "Sure you are."

He pulled back slightly, his gaze locking onto yours again, the fire in his eyes burning hotter. "But if you’re waiting for me to break, it’s not going to happen."

Without warning, his other hand shot up, gripping one of your tendrils with crushing force. You winced as he twisted it, pulling you even closer.

His face was a mask of intensity, the air between you so thick with tension it was nearly unbearable.

But he wasn’t just trying to hurt you.

He was testing you, pushing you to see how far you’d let him go before you fought back.

"I can feel it," he murmured, his eyes boring into yours with a kind of dark fascination. "You’re holding back. Afraid of what happens if you let yourself go."

You gritted your teeth, fury bubbling beneath the surface, but you couldn’t deny the truth in his words.

You truly were holding back.

The power in your veins pulsed with dangerous potential, the need to fight, to hurt, burning just beneath your skin.

But something about this moment.

About him,

Made you hesitate.

"Don’t mistake control for fear," you shot back, your voice sharp, though you could feel the tension building in your muscles, your body screaming to react.

Akaza’s grin widened, that infuriating, reckless energy radiating off him. "Oh, so you think you’re in control, huh?" he whispered, his lips hovering just a breath away from yours. "Then prove it."

His words were a challenge, daring you to act, to push him off and reclaim the fight.

But the air between you wasn’t just filled with violence anymore.

It was charged with something neither of you wanted to admit.

The proximity, the heat, the way his breath mingled with yours, it all made the line between hate and lust blur.

“Careful what you ask for,” you warned, your voice low, your tendrils twitching in response to your rising anger..

“Or what?” Akaza shot back, his eyes narrowing.

His hand still gripped your tendril, but now his thumb traced your skin, a deliberate, slow movement that made your pulse spike. “You’ll finally do something?”

Your breath hitched, your body tensing as the air around you crackled with a mixture of anger and a feeling much harder to control.

Every fiber of your being screamed to fight, to tear him apart, to stop this unbearable tension, but these odd feelings were holding you in place.

The thrill of the fight, the twisted connection between you both, kept you unbearably on edge.

Then, without warning, you leaned forward.

Your lips collided with his, harsh and desperate, the force of it startling even you.

It wasn’t soft or tender.

It was raw, violent, fueled by the tension that had been building between you for far too long. Your tendrils retracted, and you wrapped your arms around him pulling him impossibly close, and he responded in the same manner, his grip on you fierce as if this was just another form of combat.

Akaza growled against your lips, his hands tangling in your hair as he kissed you back with equal ferocity, matching your intensity.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip, and you could feel the frustration and anger in every movement.

You pulled back just enough to breathe, your forehead still pressed against his, both of you panting from the sudden explosion of energy.

His eyes were wild, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared at you with a mixture of shock and desire.

"You wanted me to prove it," you whispered, your voice low and breathless. "How’s that for control?"

Surprisingly, Akaza didn’t have a snarky retort.

His lips parted, but no words came out.

Instead, he just stared at you, his expression confused.

But the moment didn’t last long.

Before you could fully process what had just happened, Akaza’s lips were on yours again, more aggressive this time, like he was trying to reclaim control.

His hands gripped your waist, pulling you hard against him as his mouth moved hungrily against yours, his breath hot and frantic.

You couldn’t resist.

You matched his energy, kiss for kiss, both of you locked in a battle that had nothing to do with fists or power but was just as violent.

You found yourselves now laying on the ground, his body hovering over yours, pinning you down.

There you laid under him, unbothered by the danger, unbroken by his attempts.

A look of defiance, of challenge.

A spark of desire ignited within him.

He leaned down once more, trailing kisses down your neck.

You so desperately wanted to feel repulsed by what you two were doing, but you made no effort to fight back, instead letting out a low moan, your eyes fluttering shut.

While it confused you, you couldn’t deny that there was something about the situation that left you wanting more.

He pulled away from your neck, and stared into your eyes intensely.

You parted your lips, slightly bewildered, lust and need plastered all over your face.

His desire for you was equally growing with every passing moment.

He had never wanted someone so fiercely before, and the fact this feeling was caused by someone he hated was driving him wild.

He claimed your mouth in a brutal kiss, his tongue forcing his way between your lips.

You responded eagerly, kissing him back fervently, your tongues battling for dominance with each other, your hatred for each other fueling this intense desire as your body pressed against his.

His hand trailed down your neck, his fingers slipping beneath your clothing to caress your bare skin.

He could feel your heartbeat racing, your body responding to his touch.

He broke the kiss, his breathing coming in ragged pants. “Tell me you’re mine.’’ He demanded, his voice hoarse. “Say it.’’

You raised your eyebrow, surprised at the demand.

“I’m not yours, nor will I ever be.’’ You growled between breaths, daring to defy him.

You pressed your lips against his aggressively, flipping him on his back quickly, straddling him.

His eyes flashed with surprise as you took control, pinning him down to the ground with a fierce kiss.

He could taste how much you wanted him, he could feel your body’s hunger against his own.

But he wouldn’t back down so easily.

As soon as you pulled away, he rolled you onto your back, his body hovering over yours again..

His hand gripped your wrists tightly, holding them above your head.

“You’re mine.’’ He whispered, his voice low and possessive. “Admit it, demoness.’’ He smirked, grinding his hips against you, his erection seeking entrance.

He could feel your wetness through his pants, your body’s response to him undeniable.

The air between you crackled with tension, your breaths tangling as you stared into each other's eyes.

“Never.’’ You smirked, throwing your head back as he ground against you, soft moans escaping your lips in response to the sensation.

His lips curled into a victorious grin as he heard the sounds coming out of your mouth, knowing he had you right where he wanted you.

“Never?’’ He repeated, his voice thick with need. “Is that so?’’

He began grinding his hips against you harder, his erection growing with each second that passed.

He felt your body responding to him once more, your hips bucking involuntarily.

With that he tore off your clothing, exposing your bare breasts to the cool night air.

He leaned in, his lips closing around your nipple as he sucked and nibbled on it,

Your back arched off the ground, your hips thrusting upwards to meet his touch.

Akaza’s hand trailed down your body until it reached your waistband, his finger slipping underneath it to find you wet and waiting.

You let out a breathy moan as his fingers slowly made their way inside of you, your arms still pinned above your head.

“I’ll never be yours.’’ You repeated teasingly.

His hand stilled and hovered over your wetness as he grinned wickedly, eliciting a frustrated sigh out of you at the sudden stop.

“You’re quite the feisty one, aren’t you?’’ He said, his voice husky. “Always defying me, even when you clearly want me.’’

With a swift motion, he slid down his pants freeing his length.

He positioned himself between your legs, his tip glistening with pre-cum.

When he finally entered you, you let out a satisfied gasp overwhelmed with the feeling.

He began to move, his hips pounding into you in a relentless rhythm.

Each thrust sent shockwaves through your body, his grin widening as he watched your body tremble beneath him, your breath hitching every time he moved in and out of you.

He pulled out, your juices dripping down his shaft.

“Just admit it. I know you want me.’’

He started to trail his fingers down your stomach, using his cock to tease your clit with light strokes.

“Wanting you, doesn’t make me yours.’’ You mocked back, gasping as he made contact with you.

His grin widened with each of your gasps and moans.

He loved this feeling of control.

“You’re so wet for me.’’ He taunted, still teasing you. “Tell me demoness, does this mean that I’m not as indifferent to you as you’ve been making me out to be?’’

He thrusted back into you, his hips quickly picking up the previous pace.

He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear.

“You can try to resist, but you can’t hide it. You’re mine.’’

He nipped at your earlobe, eliciting a shudder from your body.

“Fuck you, Akaz-’’ You try to speak, being interrupted by your own moans, the feeling too intense to muster up any words.

His lips crashed against yours as he pounded into you mercilessly.

He could taste your defiance, your stubborn refusal to submit completely.

But despite your efforts to hide it, he could also feel your body’s surrender, your walls clenching around him in need.

“Shit.’’ He growled, breaking the kiss, “You feel so fucking good.’’

His fingers dug into your hips as he picked up the pace, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease.

He could feel your climax building, your body tensing with each thrust.

His eyes hooded with lust as he watched your face contorted in pleasure.

He leaned down close to your ear. “You can’t deny it, can you? You’re mine. You need me.’’

You hated what he was saying, hated that he was right, hated to admit he was the one making you feel like this, hated the fact that those same words you despised were affecting you so much, feeling yourself closer and closer to coming, your legs twitching, wrapping around his torso.

“I need you Akaza.’’ You moan out, finally saying out loud what you had been dreading to admit, your breathing ragged and erratic.

He smiled wickedly, satisfied with your confession.

“You do, don’t you?’’ He taunted, his voice low. “Look at you, letting someone you despise fuck you like this. Look how much you’re enjoying it, you slut.’’ He gripped your cheeks, forcing your eyes to stare back into his.

His hips picked up speed, his cock slamming into you with abandon, your cries echoing throughout the silent woods.

“I want you to come for me.’’ His voice was a growl, his movements becoming more urgent.

Driven by his words, you were sent over the edge, climaxing intensely, throwing your head back in pleasure as you pulled him in for an intense kiss.

You moaned his name into his mouth, your nails digging into his back with so much force it drew blood.

He couldn’t hold back any longer, your own orgasm causing him to empty himself into you with a shaky groan, his breathing coming in pants.

His body went limp with satisfaction as he collapsed over you, his heart pounding in his ears.

He leaned in close to your ear, your body still trembling with aftershocks.

“I knew you’d change your mind eventually.’’ He whispered, mocking you.

You try to regain your breath, and just lay there with him over you for a few moments.

“Fuck you, Akaza.’’ You spit out chuckling, pushing him off of you.

He chuckled back, placing his hand on your hip.

“Is that any way to talk to someone who just made you come?’’ He raised an eyebrow playfully, his fingers tracing lazy circles over your skin.

“That was the first, and last time you made me come.’’ You say teasingly, swatting his hand away from your hip.

He sat up, reaching for his discarded clothing to wipe away the dirt and leaves from them.

He held his hand out, helping you to your feet.

He adjusted his pants, his eyes scanning the forest surrounding you.

“Although I do have to admit, hate-fucking is a wonderful thing.’’ You chuckled, taking his hand and getting up from the ground, wiping the dirt away from your body.

“You’re insatiable, you know that, right?” He teased, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I’m insatiable?” you scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “You’re the one that was practically begging me to say I was yours. What’s the matter, Akaza? Can’t handle a little rejection?”

His grin faltered just slightly, and you seized the opportunity to press harder.

“Admit it,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm, “you keep acting all tough, and what do you really want? A little validation? A pat on the head? Maybe a ‘good boy’ for fucking me so well?’’

His eyes narrowed, clearly annoyed, but he quickly masked it with his usual infuriating smirk.

“Poor Akaza,” you continued mockingly, leaning in just enough to make him uncomfortable. “Desperate for approval, but too proud to ask nicely.’’ You mocked, grabbing your clothes and putting them back on.

His brows furrowed as you spoke.

He couldn't help but feel a tinge of irritation.

He gave you what you wanted and this is how you repaid him?

By making fun of him?

“You’re lucky I didn’t just kill you immediately for speaking like that to me.’’ He spoke, his voice low.

He put his vest back on, turning his back towards you, his movements stiff.

He wasn’t going to let you see how much your words were affecting him.

“And don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it, demoness. I saw your face.’’

“Oh I did enjoy it, and i’ll admit it.’’ You chuckled. “I literally just said hate-fucking was a wonderfull thing, don’t you agree?’’

You finished fixing your clothes and hair, and turned towards him.

His eyes narrowed at your words, but he couldn’t ignore the truth they held.

He did enjoy the confrontation, the chase, and the ultimate outcome.

“I agree.’’ He admitted, his voice rough. “But don’t get any ideas, you’re nothing to me..’’

Spoken by the one begging you to say you belonged to him 10 minutes ago.

You raised an eyebrow at that remark, crossing your arms over your chest with a teasing grin on your face.

He turned to face you, his body still tense with lingering desire.

“And this isn’t happening again anytime soon. Not unless you beg.’’ He smirked mischievously, his eyes never leaving your face.

“Fine.’’ You replied, dryly. Unaffected. “I’ll see you later then.’’

With a final teasing glare, you released your tendrils, one of them tapping him on his forehead lightly before you jumped upwards, landing in a tree above, leaving him in the middle of the woods by himself.

You waved him goodbye, still smirking smugly at him, before you disappeared into the night.

He watched as your form grew smaller and smaller in the distance until you were just a speck of darkness against the starlit sky.

The quiet of the woods crept back in, filling up the space you’d left behind, but his mind was still racing with the remnants of your encounter.

He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, a mixture of frustration and intrigue swirling in his chest.

He was lying when he said you were nothing to him, there was no denying that.

And as much as he hated to admit it, he was already anticipating the next time you’d cross paths.

With one final glance at the sky where you’d disappeared, he turned on his heel and vanished into the shadows of the forest, his thoughts still lingering on your teasing words, and the heat of your touch.

Whatever this was between the two of you, it was far from over.

And he knew, deep down, neither of you would be able to stay away for long.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

[ content warning: discussion of in-canon sexual abuse ] Maybe it’s just because I’m not too active in the ALNST fandom and mostly observe from afar, but I think this fandom brushed aside way too quickly the fact that Till was sexually assaulted. I have never seen anyone talk in depth about like, what that actually means in terms of his arc and the storytelling of his character. Which I find deeply, deeply upsetting because holy fucking shit.

This man right here has been told, basically his entire life, that not only is he himself not worthy of being treated as a human, but that his body is not his body, but a piece of property that can be owned. And whoever owns his property can use it for whatever, and however they wish. Now, dehumanization is nothing new or unique in this world, obviously. The very concept of Pet Humans is dehumanizing by nature, leaving all six of our main characters as victims to it, even those who are more well-off like Mizi. But Till is a specially fucked up case almost distinctly unlike the rest, because he is actually treated like a fucking dog.

(x) Ivan: If you keep rebelling like that, they won’t ever remove your collar you know? Till: This annoying bastard… — Ivan: I told you so, didn’t I? You didn’t listen? Till: This annoying bastard... (translation courtesy of @leiikos on youtube)

(x)

An unruly animal who needs to be leashed up and put in it’s place. Animals, as is common knowledge, are not on the same level as a human being. But they are ordained to follow the commands of those above them. And if someone (thing) isn’t doing as it is told…

It deserves to be taught better. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is the mindset that has followed Till his entire life by the ones who were supposed to take care of him. He is not human, even less human than the existing inhuman. He is a pet, even more so than the other pets, an animal. A thing. Property. Something to own. And the best thing about owning something?

You gain the ability to do whatever you want to it. Till’s body was not his from the start. It was used as something to toy around with, experiment with, to train and train and train, presumably for his whole life. His body, his skin, his flesh and bone and blood, it was all nothing more than a plaything. So what if he screams? Just ignore it. Or don’t. If this competition has taught us anything, voices have the most value of all. On top of it being reinforced that Till is not deserving of humanity, he is also not deserving of his bodily autonomy. People are free to do whatever they want with his body because it’s not his body, it’s theirs. And that brings us, finally, to the scene itself

He can’t sing her song, he refuses to. This isn’t the first time he’s refused to do something, far from it actually. What was once an innocent puppy with dilated hope in his eyes has grown into an angry, disobedient mutt. And we know what happens to an animal that refuses to do what they’re told. But there’s something interesting about dogs, or rather about the ones they descended from, the wolf: When the circumstances call for it, they will bite the hand that’s supposed to feed them.

And here is where I intrude to remind you that this is the only time we see anyone physically fighting back against the aliens in the confines of Alien Stage. We see Hyuna and Mizi fucking up aliens in All In, but that was after they had escaped from the cage. And you could make a case for Mizi trying to escape the grasp of the guards that grabbed her in Ruler of My Heart, but from what we saw she didn’t actually lay a hand on them and more so just tried to force herself out of their grasp. though if you disagree with me on that that's fine Here though? Till has this bitch’s face grabbed into his palm with a bottle in hand ready to smash it directly in between it’s eyes. I consider this to be the first act of physical violence shown against the aliens within the uncomfortably tight enclosure. And it’s triggered not because of anything personally done to Till, which on its own could probably fill a list that reaches the ground. But because of the prospect of Mizi being dead. Till knows that this place is shit, that his life is shit. Said so directly on his profile.

Dislikes: Everyone, including Guardian Urak (translation courtesy of @kh47uo on twitter)

But he stays regardless because Mizi is there. If Mizi is dead, Till has absolutely nothing to lose…Right?

I can almost imagine him thinking: There’s nothing you can put me through that’s worse than every other way you’ve hurt me. …But there was. Oh there was.

A final, disgusting message to the pet to put him back in his place. Back on his leash. Making sure he will never forget where he stands for the rest of his days.

And that is really what the sexual assault of Till represents to me. It is a cruel reminder to Till that fighting back is impossible, having hope, being free, it might as well be a fool's fantasy. He will always be less-than-human, less than anything. His body will always be the property of the ones that were supposed to protect him, claimed, and then used used used until it’s worn out and dead.

And the aliens chose to exemplify that fact in the most direct way they possibly could.

So what if he screams? Just ignore it. Or don’t. If this competition has taught us anything, screams have the most value of all

[twopoppies]

i keep seeing your tag, rip liam, and it makes no sense to me. because how could this be, you know? how come we’ve lost a member of one direction so soon? every time i look at it, it just feels surreal. the shock from the first two days has passed, but it still feels like it makes no sense, like it is so alien.

the worst thing is, for a while i’d been having a bad feeling about liam. we could tell he wasn’t okay, and even though i in no way expected this to happen, so suddenly too, i did see the path he was walking wasn’t a healthy one. but i guess now that everyone is sharing their one direction favorite videos, interviews and all (which is so so great, keep doing it, because laughter is a part of grief. grief is also about celebrating the person that was), i keep thinking that the liam who died was that one. the one on the stage, the young one, bright-eyed, full with expectations for the future.

i was never his fan, i never followed his career, but i’m truly so heartbroken that things didn’t work out for him. i saw this video where he broke down in tears after writing something for his album, and it touched me so deeply. deep down, he was still full with emotions and expectations, he was the same kid. he longed for something that always remained just out of reach, and isn’t that heart-shattering?

addiction is so fucked up. i’m actually studying about it for a UNI presentation. man…

and for the last couple of weeks, with everything that was coming to light, i was really angry with him. actually, not really angry, i wasn’t angry. but learning how abusive he’d gotten, i was totally done with him, you know? but this? just… no. he deserved to get better for his own self, to live life lightly. and his victims deserved to hear an apology. it’s a horrible situation all around.

my friend said something and i so agree. if he’d survived the fall, his life would probably change completely. he’d probably come to the realization of how bad it’d gotten and he would probably get better. his life would take new meaning, and everyone would be able see how badly he needed help.

why is reality so harsh. when your other anon said that one direction became this generation’s nirvana, queen… devastating.

all those boys deserved so much better.

I was thinking the same thing this morning. If he'd somehow survived, he'd probably have found the ability to stay clean and sober. And life would take on new meaning for him.

He deserved better. He deserved more time.

[cherubcameron]

popstar!reader x ex boyfriend!rafe where she goes on her first tour and hes in the crowd!? (i dont mind where you take this)

- 🎀🥰

Aaaa!! I’m so glad you asked, this is my favorite topic. Lowkey was writing something like this already but this will just be a different version to it. Sorry this took so long, I had a lot going on. I work a lot so it’s hard for me to make time sometimes. Plus I didn’t know what direction to take this. So sorry if it’s butt cheeks. Also I’m using Sabrina’s music cause I love her 🤭 another note, this doesn’t follow the description I made for girly!popstar reader because this came first. So this is yours anon.

Border: @chilumitos

The anticipation was turning your stomach inside out. You were in your fifth city and should have been accustomed to touring by now. But still, this was different. You were back in Kildare, the fresh ocean air hitting your face, as you stared out into the crowd. You were hidden behind curtains. The nerves were rushing through you.

“It’s been a while, huh?”Mike,one of the boys who danced with you asked, you simply nodded your head. It’d been too long actually. You’d made sure that you played in your hometown. Hoping that it would be enough for one blue eyed boy to come out and see you. But you weren’t sure, the music you made didn’t seem like something he would be into.

“Too long.”

This tour so far was taking a lot out of you. You hadn’t anticipated how much of a demand you became. You’d sold out almost every show that you had listed. It was crazy and the magnitude of it, still couldn’t conclude in your brain.

“Congratulations girl. Seems like you brought out a big crowd. You must have been popular.”

Which was further than the truth, but you laughed at his joke anyway.

“You go up in five!” Ricky, one of the tour managers says. “Get into position people!”

“You ready?”

You nodded, the crowd is loud, unexpectedly. You hadn’t known how many people were going to be here. Your heart was racing, but this was your favorite part.

You waited until it was your cue…

Wheezie had been persistent. She’d been there since the beginning of your journey; quite literally. So she had wanted to come out to one of your shows. She’d asked Ward and Rose, they shared worried glances over at Rafe.

“It’s fine.. it’s not like you’re asking me to go.” Rafe says, but Wheezie has a look on her face that says otherwise.

“Why? She’s my ex girlfriend. That’s weird.” Rafe said but deep down he knew he wanted to go. His heart still beat for you, he just didn’t want to admit to that. He would look soft and he hated looking soft.

“I still have hope for the two of you.” Wheeze admits. Rafe rolls eyes but his heart flutters.

“Hope is for suckers.”

She managed to make him come to your show. A big grin on her face, Sarah managed to weasel her way into seeing you as well. The Cameron siblings never got along well. Wheezie getting along separately which each of them. But somehow you managed to bring them all together.

“Introducing.. the one and only.. Y/N L/N.” You ran out on stage, a cute little smile on your face. Rafes heart leaped as he saw you. He couldn’t believe he was seeing you living your dream.

“Oh I leave quite an impression..”

Your eyes spotted Rafe, halfway through the song. Your heart raced, you hadn’t expected this to happen. Never believed in a million years, you would see those bright blue eyes again. You noticed Wheezie and Sarah in the crowd with him. Your heart swelled even more.

The song finishes, your heart racing as you run of to the other side of the stage. You felt awkwardness trying to built a home in you. But you shook it off with a head shake. The next song was one that you made about him. When you were angry and you weren’t sure how he’d take it.

“I won’t give a fuck about you.”

The song began and you had to start singing once more. You were getting the audience pumped up and you could spot Wheezie and Sarah dancing. Rafe had his arms crossed, his jaw ticking. Great.

“I won’t give a fuck about you!” You sang into the mic then turning it to the crowd. They repeated the words as you did so. You spot Sarah singing it into Rafes face and he rolls his eyes. A giggle you can’t hear over the crowd escapes her lips. Wheezie is smiling up at you and you smile back.

“My cute ass bye bye!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you danced along to your music. Thankfully, it looked like it was apart of the show.—What were the odds, Rafe was here, Wheezie and Sarah made sense. But you don’t know how they managed to drag Rafe along with them. You continue on anyway, you had a show to put on. And you were surprised how amp up everyone was. How many of them knew the lyrics to your song.

This felt so surreal, like you couldn’t believe people here still kept up to date with you.

Rafe had always known you were someone meant for a life bigger than you. So this was no surprise, it stung to know that he was inches away from you. But unable to hold you, kiss you, to be with you. You were finally at your final three songs.

He could tell Wheezie and Sarah were having fun. He hated that he was the sore thumb in the situation. His arms were crossed, not because he didn’t want to be here. But because this wasn’t how he expected things to have gone between the two of you. Things had fallen apart so badly and he didn’t think it was irreversible. He had let things hang in the air like it didn’t matter. When it did.

“You know she’s here for a couple of more days until she leaves again..” Sarah says, her eyes still on you, Rafe slowly turns to her.

“How do you know that?”

Sarah only smiles looking up at him.

You had stopped by one of the local coffee shops the next day, tired from night 1 out of the three shows you were going to do at Kildare. You tapped your fingers gently on the table, your eyes staring at the door. Waiting for someone…

Rafe stepped through the threshold, his eyes immediately going to you. Maybe, sometimes relationships can be rekindled.

“Hi…

[wzrd-wheezes]

Cat and Mouse - Rockstar!Sirius x Reader Smut

AN - hello! this is the first fic im posting in a little while and what better way to come back than with some sirius smut. I'm a little rusty so please forgive me <3

Includes: cocky, arrogant, somewhat toxic sirius. swearing. unprotected sex. choking. slight degradation and just other general filth.

1.2k words.

smut starts under the cut.

“I knew you’d come tonight.” Sirius drawled, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He handed his guitar to one of the roadies, his skin glistening with sweat from the bright stage lights and made his way over to her. 

“Didn’t have anything better to do.” Y/N said drily, her arms folded over her chest. She purposely tried not to look at him, letting her gaze drift to his bandmates who were packing away the rest of their equipment.  

“Seems like you never have anything better to do,” Sirius taunted, leaning over and smirking at her, “you know, with the number of times that you tell me you’re not coming to see me again, yet every time I play you conveniently have ‘nothing better to do’.”  

“Yet you always put my name on the guestlist.” 

“Because I enjoy this little game we play. The one where you pretend that you’re not bothered about me even though we both know that you are.” 

“I’m the one that’s bothered?” Y/N scoffed, “You’re the one that I get fifteen missed calls off when I don’t show up to your gigs. You’re the one that writes songs about me when I’m not even your girlfriend. But I’m the one that’s bothered?” 

 "You're the one who always shows up at these gigs only to see me and then make out like you don’t care about me." he shot back. "You love the attention I give you. You love the fact that I write about you.” Sirius laughed. 

“You’re a narcissist. You like the fact that I have feelings for you, that I care enough to show up to your concerts.” she spat. 

“Ah, but you love it.” He said, his town teasing as he leaned closer towards her, “I know you do.” 

As if to prove his point, he leaned forward and place one hand gently under her chin, forcing her eyes up towards him. Then, ever so gently, brushed her lips with his, letting the barest hint of a kiss touch her before letting his hand drop.  

Sirius was clearly enjoying himself and it was clear to Y/N that he was just trying to get under her skin. She glared back at him, angry at him for mocking her but at the same time wanting him badly. It was a feeling that both of them had struggled with for a while now, through months of hooking up yet never actually committing to each other.  

He was relentless, always trying his hardest to catch her off guard. All the times when she had resolved to ignore him, he would find a way to worm his way inside her thoughts. If not by words then by gestures; the way his arm would snake round her waist, the way he would rest his hand on her thigh when they were sitting together, the way he would have her pressed against the wall in the quickest flash if he wanted to.  

“We both know why I’m here so why don’t we just cut the bullshit.” Y/N said, deadpan. 

“Because you’re in love with me?”  

“Because you’re a good fuck, Black.” 

Sirius groaned, the air was thick with the tension that had been building between them. A smug smirk plastered itself across his face.  

“And there it is.” he said, looking her up and down, his eyes roaming over her body and then back up to her lips, “I thought we were going to dance around the inevitable for the rest of the night.” 

Sirius grabbed her by the wrist, yanking him towards his dressing room. A boot-clad foot kicked the door open before swiftly pulling her inside and knocking it shut behind him. 

“There’s no fun in being coy with you, sweetheart,” his eyes still locked on her lips, “I’m aware of how this goes. You come to see me, and you pretend you hate me while I try my hardest to get under your skin. Then inevitably, we both get tired of playing this game and you finally let me fuck you like you’ve been longing for all night.” 

He had her pinned against the door now, one of his hands resting just above her head, bracing himself as he towered over her. He smirked, running his fingers down her neck. He loved it when they were like this, how they would both pretend to not be absolutely crazy with desire for each other. It was exciting. A game of cat and mouse that had been going on for far too long.  

His long, slender fingers wrapped around her throat, the cool metal of his rings pressing against her skin. He tightened his grip ever so slightly, enjoying the soft gasp that escaped her lips.  

“You look so pretty like this.” he said, his voice low, “So pretty with my hand around your neck.” 

He dipped his head down, catching her lips in his, teeth clashing together as he roughly kissed her. He groaned into her mouth, his tongue slipping inside, their kisses becoming messy. His hands found the back of her thighs, lifting her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist.  

Hastily, he carried her over to the dressing table, putting her down on top of it, her back resting against the mirror. Y/N quickly removed her shirt, Sirius unbuttoning and sliding off her trousers as she did. He dragged her to the edge of the table, roughly spreading her legs.  

“You know you love this, don't you?” he teased, his breath hot and heavy as it fanned over her face, “You love that you’re mine.” 

Sirius’s hands were rough and unrelenting, he was unable to hold himself back, the pair of them far too eager to take it any slower.  

“Stop teasing and just fuck me already.” Y/N said, already breathless.  

Wordlessly, he shoved his jeans down, letting them hang low on his hips. He wasted no time, quickly lining himself up with her, plunging in without given her a second to adjust. A ragged moan escaped her lips, earning a smile from Sirius.  

“I’m the only one that gets to make you make those pretty noises,” he grunted, his hips snapping against hers, “No one can fuck you better than I can, can they?” 

Unable to form a coherent response, she just shook her head, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

“Answer me properly.” 

“N-no.” she gasped, “No one fucks me better than you.” 

That was all the fuel he needed to keep going. He grabbed her forcefully, repositioning her so that she was bent over on the dressing table with him behind her. 

“Want you to look at yourself in the mirror,” he ordered, “Want you to see how desperate and needy you are for me, how good I make you feel.”  

His fingers wove into her hair, adjusting her head so that she had no choice but to stare at their reflection. It was like a high for him, watching her stare at herself in the mirror, taking in her bruised lips and smudged makeup. 

Sirius slammed into her, his grunts mixing with her moans as he chased his own release. He felt her clench around him and he stared thrusting harder, deeper.  

“That’s it. Look at yourself as you cum for me.” he encouraged, “such a little slut for me.” 

Y/N came with a loud moan, her body going slack. Sirius held her up against him as his thrusts got sloppy, his own orgasm quickly approaching. He groaned as he came inside her, panting as he pulled out.  

“So, when’s your next gig?”  

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 5 (Steddie X You)

A/N: I bare you a gift :)

Warning: Security Guards/ Soft Dom Steddie X Singer Sub (slightly bratty) Fem Reader, SMUT, spanking, slightly rough, pretty much just the norm :), FLUFF and ANGST! Reader is trying to do better with her vices but gets so overwhelmed she disappears abruptly and the boys need to find her, the three of them do go into details with their trauma especially the reader. My own personal trauma (like with most of my fics) leaked through a bit i.e. feeling like I'm not enough. I think that's about it.

Word count: 6862

“How are you feeling today, Y/N?”

“Annoyed.”

“Because…”

“Because I want a fucking drink. I should at least be able to have that! Do you know how hard it is for me to not have BOTH the things that made me feel better when I was fucking depressed.”

You had been on the tour now for two weeks and you were exhausted. You love singing for your fans, you really did, but after your breakup and cutting out your vices…you felt like you were drowning. Talking to Daniel helped a bit but he was getting to that part of therapy where you needed (his words, not yours) to talk about the personal things in your past that led you to drink and drugs. 

You just couldn’t get there. It was like you kept running into a wall, the wall that you built to protect yourself. Even when you tried to open your mouth to talk about your family or relationships, nothing came out. Your brain froze like mental stage fright and it just made you angry. 

“No, I understand, Y/N. Trust me. I’ve been where you are before. I know it’s hard.” You scoff at his response as you fold your arms across your chest. “What you don’t seem to realize is those things, drugs and alcohol… didn’t actually make you feel better. You need to find something that does and focus your energy there.”

***

“Y/N! Jesus Christ, stop! Everyone stop! What the fuck is going on!?”, Mark shouts at you as he comes out on to the stage.

“I’m fucking tired! Can we take a goddamn break?”

“Not until we get this right! Your show is in two days!”

“Get off my back, Mark! I’m doing my best!”

It took all of Eddie’s energy to not get up and defend you. To an outsider looking in, they would think you were being a brat but this asshole was pushing you and they both knew that. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do. They were your security and their job was to protect you. Mark wasn’t physically hurting you…all they could do was grit their teeth and watch as you slowly fell apart. 

“Fuck this! I’m taking a 10. If you have a problem with it, call Jack.” The boys quickly got up to follow you as you headed outside and sat on the emergency stairs just near the back door.  “Fuck off.”, you growled when you heard Steve sigh. 

“You’re right, you know. You need a break.”

Their eyes scanned you over as your leg jumped anxiously. “Y/N, everything is going to be ok.” Eddie was trying to comfort you and you understood that but it wasn’t enough. You were spiraling. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He commanded as he descended to his knees in front of you. “I promise you. You’re safe, okay?”

“Eddie…I’m so tired.”

“I know, baby.”, he whispers.

Steve comes to sit beside you, pulling you closer to his side as you fold into yourself and begin to cry. 

***

The following morning when you aren’t in bed, they assumed Mark pulled you away again without notifying them but as they hurry down to the auditorium, they notice the man pacing back and forth. 

“Where is she?!”, he shouts when he notices them.

“She’s not here?”, Steve asks and Eddie immediately turns way to check his phone for your tracker. 

“No! No, she’s not here! I’m fucking sick and tired of her diva attitude. Fuck her!”

“HEY! She’s the reason you have this job. Now show some fucking respect!” Steve shouts before turning to his friend. “Did you find her?”

“I think this might be broken, Harrington. It says she’s in the Atlantic.”

“Fuck me. She got on a plane. Come on.” The man tugs his arm as they run to the hotel room to hastily grab their things. As they pack, he dials your publicist’s phone number. “Sarah! Y/Ns on a plane right now. We think she’s headed to Europe. Do you know where she might go over there?”

“Fucking hell! I thought she was doing better.”

“She was…is…she’s burned out. She… she wasn’t ready for this tour.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Jack and them are always pushing her. Um…she used to talk a lot about this hotel in France. Her and her family stayed over there once when she was little.”

“My family went on vacation there when I was a kid. It was the happiest I remember us ever being. I go there sometimes when I want to be left alone. I feel safe there.”

“I know where she’s going. Thanks Sarah. I’ll keep you posted.”

###########

“I swear, sir. There is no one by that name here.”, the concierge at the front desk sighs as Steve glances towards the metalhead again.

Eddie flashes him his phone. “It says she’s here. I’m surprised she hasn’t ditched it like she did in Vegas.”

The other man’s eyes widen as a sudden thought hits him. “That’s because she wants us to find her. Um, excuse me. Is there anyone by the name of Munson or Harrington listed?”

“Actually, yes. First name Munson, last name Harrington checked into her room yesterday evening. “

***

They quietly opened the door with the key front desk gave them as Steve scanned the room. Nothing seemed out of place except for the bottles of wine and vodka spaced out on the coffee table in the tiny hotel room. This wasn’t like the usual places you stayed in. 

It was much smaller with only one bedroom and living room that doubled as a kitchen. The back balcony doors were open wide and Eddie noticed a figure sitting on one of the chairs outside. They cautiously headed that way, finding you with your knees under your chin as you smoked a cigarette. Your eyes were bloodshot from tears and lack of sleep. Your hair that was usually styled in some way was haphazardly slung into a messy style bun as loose strands fell against your bare shoulders. 

It was relatively warm but there was a cool breeze that allowed you to be outside with your spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants without feeling uncomfortable. 

You made no movement to acknowledge them as they placed themselves in front of you, leaning against the concrete wall of the patio. Eddie casually lit his own cigarette, offering Steve one who declined. 

“My parents were so excited…when we were able to afford a vacation out of the country.”, you stated in a gravelly, rough voice that tugged at their hearts as you continued to stare down at their feet. “My mom always wanted to go to Paris. ‘It’s the city of love!’.”, you smile as you mimic her enthusiasm. 

“My dad got us the tickets and I remember seeing the city as we flew over…I thought it was magic.”, you giggle but a tear fell down your cheek. “We went everywhere. I mean we literally saw every touristy thing you could think of. But…what I remember most is…that first night, we stayed in this hotel. My dad ordered us food and we all curled up in the bed to watch some black and white French romance film. A song started to play and I recognized it so I started to sing along but in English.”

“My father smiled and yanked my mother off the bed so they could dance as I sang. I knew then…that’s what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to sing and make people happy like that. I think that was the one and only time they approved of my wanted profession.” Your eyes shifted towards theirs as you tried to smile. “I’m sorry. I-I-I…”

Steve shook his head and bent down to take you into his arms which you eagerly accepted, wrapping your own around his neck and legs around his waist as he carried you back inside with Eddie close behind. He sat on the couch, petting your head as they allowed you to cry. 

The metalhead inspected the unopened bottles of liquor before quietly looking around the little hotel room for any more of your vices, signaling to Steve that he found nothing. After awhile the tears stopped but you didn’t want to let him go. He felt your fingers run through his hair behind his head absently as you nuzzled your nose into his neck. 

“It’s ok, baby girl. You’re safe. It’s alright.”, he cooed. “Do you think you can move to Eddie’s lap so I can make some phone calls. Let people know you’re safe.” Your head hung as you pulled back and climbed over to the other boy as you pouted. “Hey…you trust me, right?”

“They’re going to be so angry with me.”, you whispered in a small voice. 

Steve placed his fingers under your chin and lifted your eyes to face him. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

They both smile at your answer as he rises from the sofa. Leaning your forehead into the nook of Eddie’s neck and shoulder, you gently run your palm along his chest. It wasn’t sexual and he understood that. Any other person may think you were trying to flirt or making a move but he knew. This was your way of grounding yourself; making sure they were still there in the moment with you. 

You had fallen into a little girl mind set but it wasn’t for pleasure. It was self-preservation. They knew how to identify which was which and were happy to take care of you in either instance. 

“Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, sweetheart. I’m not mad at you. I’m worried about you; we both are.”

Your gaze shifts to Steve who was now pacing in the bedroom with the phone to his ear. 

“Yeah, we found her…No, Jack, she’s not alright. You guys are pushing her too hard. She’s exhausted… First off, don’t cuss at me. We just spent all night trying to get to her and I’m not in the mood. This wouldn’t have happened if you and Mark would listen to her. She’s a person, not a cash machine… Fine. Fire us, but we’re still not going to drag her back. Not until some changes are made and she takes a break.”

“I’m not going to let him fire you.”, you murmur. 

“Hey, don’t worry about that right now, okay? Is it alright if I ask you some questions?” You nod as he holds you tighter to his body. “Why did you place all these bottles on the table?”

“I…I wanted some. I really did but I couldn’t. I took them out t-t-to see them. I needed to see all of them.”

“Why, sweetheart?”

“Because…I used to drink all this…in one night. I-I-I thought maybe if I saw it front of me, it would help…stop me. Daniel said I should focus my energy on something else so…when I look at the bottles, I think of something else.”

“What do you think about?”

“You two.”

His soft brown eyes met yours and he knew instantly you were telling the truth. 

“Hello, front desk? Yes, for the Munson Harrington room, can you make sure no one disturbs us besides faculty. We don’t want any phone calls or unexpected visitors…Yes, sir. If anyone other than myself or my friend Mr. Munson asks don’t tell anyone we are here…thank you.”

“He’s assuming if he won’t tell them where you are then they will start hunting for us and since our names are on the room, they could ask which one. This way now if they do, the front desk won’t give them anything.”, Eddie explains. “Baby, I see the bottles but I have to ask, have you hidden any drugs for later or anything like that?”

“No, sir. I promise. Do…do you need to look at my eyes?”

The fact that you were being so open with him was slightly jarring but, again, he understood. They made you feel safe and you wanted to continue making them feel like they could trust you as much as you trusted them. 

“No, sweetheart. I trust you. Would it be alright with you if I got up to move these bottles so you don’t have to keep looking at them?” You nod but as he adjusts you so he can stand you continue to cling to his shirt. “Alright, hey, it’s ok. Follow me.” 

He takes your hand and pulls you towards the bedroom, playfully twirling you into Steve’s side who silently grins as he dips you before tugging you back up with one arm. Eddie fades away into the background as you hold the other boy to you. 

“Ok, I think that’s everyone and Sarah said she would release a statement for you regarding the shows this week. She said if you need more time just let her know.”

“I like Sarah.”

“Me to.”, Steve grins down at you sweetly. “Have you eaten anything today?”

When you shake your head, he nods before lifting you into his arms, carrying you to the kitchen, and setting you down on the countertop. 

“You know, I’m looking through this cabinet like I can read any of the French here.” 

His tone makes you giggle as you point to a piece of paper beside him. 

“That’s the menu for the hotel. They have some really delicious French toast.”

“Yeah? Let’s try it.”

After you three ate, everyone crashed. When you arrived at the hotel, you had been so anxious you couldn’t lie still long enough to get any kind of sleep. The guys had immediately hopped a plane when they had an idea of where you were and were so concerned about your wellbeing, they hadn’t slept either. 

When you finally woke up, you felt so much better and less heavy with your worries. It was dark outside but the lights illuminated the city as people walked around the Paris streets. Both men were still knocked out beside you so you snuck into the living area with an idea as you began situating the space.

##########

“Eddie. Steve.”, you whispered as you gently shook their arms.

“Huh? Wha? What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to show you something. I also ordered some lunch/dinner for us since it is a little after nine.”

Your breathy chuckle and calmer tone cause them to open their eyes fully as they drink you. Physically you did look a lot better. You had changed into a new set of pajamas and your hair was now down around your shoulders. Your energy as a whole seemed much less erratic than when they had first walked in and that made them both extremely happy. 

They rolled out of bed, reaching for some sweats to be more comfortable before following you out of the room. Their mouths fell open at the sight in front of them as you opened your arms in a grand gesture. You had taken some of the couch cushions and pillows, creating a makeshift fort with extra sheets thrown over to finish the design. The little tv the hotel room came with was pushed in front of it with food and drinks on the nearby table. 

“Y/N, what--”

“I thought it might be fun. The guide on the tv says their also about to play a movie I really like.” You shift your weight from one foot to the other as you look towards the floor. “I wanted to do something for you…to say thank you for coming all this way. It’s not enough, I know, for all the trouble I caused but…it’s all I could think of in the moment…especially since this means a lot to me…like you two and what you just did for me.”

Steve’s hand reached out and brought your lips to his, letting you go so Eddie could do the same. 

“What’s the movie called?”

“Amélie. I love it. It’s about a woman who tries to help people find their happiness while also finding love.” You grin like giddy schoolgirl making them smile with you. 

You three devour the food concierge brought up as the movie played. They were completely entranced by it and occasionally mimicked the young actresses French as they tried remembering words for later. For a couple of hours, you forgot you were a famous singer and they were your security. You forgot that just a few hours ago you were falling apart and one bad decision away from opening the wine in the hotel. 

For a couple of hours, you were a tourist in a hotel room with two men you really cared about and seemed to genuinely care about you. 

“That was amazing. How have I never heard of this movie before?”

“Because you have never heard of most movies, Steven.”, Eddie laughs. His eyes shift over your frame essentially checking in and reading your body language. “May I ask you something, sweetheart? What was the song you sang when your parents danced?”

You softly smile as you get to your feet and run in the bedroom to get your phone. Ella Fitzgerald’s beautiful, soulful voice flows through your speakers as you place it on the couch and reach for Eddie’s hand. 

“Let's fall in love Why shouldn't we fall in love? Our hearts are made of it Let's take a chance Why be afraid of it?”

Placing your palms on his bare shoulders, you both danced to the music. 

“My mother loved music like this. She actually wasn’t a big fan of TV so anytime my father was out she would turn it off and play her records.”, you giggled. “God, and Ella always had the most gorgeous voice.”

“She really does. I feel like I should be wearing a shirt.” He smiles when you laugh harder, pulling him closer to you as you rest your chin near his head. 

“I remember once she played her album while she was cooking, waiting for my dad to come home while I sat on the counter and watched her move. She was swaying while she was singing and I thought she looked so beautiful… then she turned around with this big smile and said ‘Now see, that woman is a singer. You’ll never be as good as her I’m afraid, baby.’”

You heard Steve rise from the floor and you detached from Eddie to dance with him.

“Let's close our eyes And make our own paradise Little we know of it Still we can try to make a go of it.”

“It wasn’t just with music…that was just my biggest disappointment to them. When I was growing up, I was too fat or too thin, not dressed right, or I didn’t speak properly. They always acted like I embarrassed them. The first time I was arrested was actually when I was 16. I got caught at a party drinking with bunch of other kids. My dad hit me and said I was stupid. That I may as well become a whore because there was no way I was getting into college now. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I never wanted to go anyway.”, you chuckled but Steve just held you closer to his chest.

“We might have been meant for each other To be or not to be, let our hearts discover.” 

“I can’t do this. It’s too hard.”, you whisper as you push away from him and try to head for the bedroom. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” Eddie quickly grips your wrist. “Don’t run from it, Y/N. You’re doing really good. Just…let go.”

“Let me go, Ed.”

“Fuck them.” Your head turned to look at Steve. “Y/N, fuck them. If they can’t see how amazing and talented you are then fuck them.”

“You…you don’t understand.”

“Oh? Not being good enough for your parents. Your right I would have no idea what that’s like. My dad still calls me 24/7 commanding I come home to give up this ‘childish job’ and run is obnoxiously boring and bland as fuck company. When I was in high school, he always wanted me to be MVP and a straight A student but freshman year when I figured out that didn’t matter I just coasted by. Little did I know that would just make him worse. After I graduated, I said fuck them. I’ll do what makes me happy. My dad still thinks he can change my mind but…”, Steve shrugs. 

“I wasn’t good enough for my father either. So much so he left me with my uncle and ended up in jail. Supposedly, he complains about me in there. I’m a ‘pansy fucking pig’ now or some bullshit. I’ve explained a thousand times I’m not a cop but it doesn’t matter.”

“You still talk to him?”

“Sometimes…”, Eddie sighs. “Not as much as I used to.”

“Where’s your mom?”

The metalhead crosses his arms over his chest as he shifts his gaze to the floor. “She, uh, she died a long time ago.”

“What about you?”, you ask as you focus your line of questioning on Steve again. 

“My mom follows my dad around like a puppy. Honestly, I think she’s afraid of not having the money and lifestyle he provides her.”

You exhale heavily as you sit on the couch, fidgeting with your fingers. “The, um, the first time I drank excessively was after I was signed to my first label. I called my family and I told them thinking maybe this would prove to them I am good enough to make it. One of the many times I would think that while moving up in my career.” You roll your eyes before continuing. “My dad said ‘Wow. Amazing. Hey, did you hear that they renewed that show your mom and I like for a new season? Pretty cool.’”

Eddie and Steve came to sit on either side of you as they listened to you speak. When you froze, they tried to urge you to continue. 

“What about the drugs? When did that start?”

“Simon.”, you chuckle under your breath. “Three years ago…my mom and I got into a fight because I invited her to come visit me for the billionth time and they both came up with some excuse. I was drinking but it wasn’t enough so…” Your eyes met Steve’s before turning to find Eddie’s. “You both are actually the first people to walk into my life and not use me or be toxic.”

“Give us time. I’m sure we can be toxic if we tried.”

“Munson, oh my god. Shut up.” Steve reached over to playfully swat at his friend making you laugh. 

“Why aren’t you guys taken? Do you get into bad relationships to?”

“Yes and no. Stevie here has gotten the bulk of bad relationships.”

His eyes met yours as he softly smiled down at you, throwing his hands up in slight surprise when you crawl into his lap.

“I’m sorry, Steve.”

The man heavily sighs as his palm reaches up to pet your head. “It’s alright. I mean, it is what it is.”

“I haven’t…been with anyone…since what happened with Simon. I wouldn’t hurt you both like that. I…I really like you. I like the way…I feel with you.”

“And how is that?”, Eddie asked with a gentle tone.

“Safe. Protected. Cared for.”

“We do care about you. Very much.”, Steve cooed as he kissed your forehead. 

“Can you show me? Show me how much you care about me.”

“Are you sure you’re up for that? You’ve been through a lot these past few days.”

You nod vigorously as your lips land on his neck, tenderly kissing along the skin of his throat. 

“Hey, hey…” Lightly tugging on your hair, he pulls you back to look at him as his voice changes to a more authoritative one. “What’s the rule? When we ask you something…”

“I verbally answer. I’m sorry, Steve. Yes, yes, I’m up for anything as long as I’m with you two.”

He flashes you a comforting smile before shifting your body till your legs were straddling either side of his and your back was to his chest. 

“Good girl, baby. Lean back and get comfortable.”

You do as he suggests, placing a kiss on his cheek before resting your forehead against it. His palms roam you along your arms to your knees and back up between your thighs. 

“You’re so beautiful, honey. Isn’t she beautiful, Ed?”

“Gorgeous.” The hand closest to him reaches out to caress his face as he turns into your touch and kisses your hand. 

Steve’s fingers grip the bottom of your shirt as he lifts it over your head and tosses it aside. The feeling of him rubbing his strong, palms along your tummy and just under your breasts sets you ablaze. You could sit like this forever and be happy. Eddie scoots closer and you lightly moan when you feel his lips kiss your shoulder, down to your tits. 

Your legs start to close to relieve the pressure building in your core but they are both faster, each hand keeping you open as the metalhead wraps his mouth around your nipple. Throwing your head back, Steve’s lips meet your own as his tongue dances with yours. Feeling him shift slightly, you gasp out a groan when his hand massages your other breast, his fingers gliding over the erect bud as Eddie’s tongue plays with the one on his side. 

“Fuck…”

“Does that feel good?”

Your nose grazes his as you nod. “Yes. Fe-feels really good.”

“Is that why your grinding your hips?”, he chuckles.

“Can I take off my shorts, please?”

Eddie’s mouth released its grip on you with a satisfying pop as he trailed up your body to the side of your neck. 

“Oh, Steve. She said please. How can we say no when she’s being so polite?” Hooking his digits into the waistband of your pants and panties, you lift your hips, allowing him more mobility to pull them down your legs. 

His head tilted to look at you as he reached between your thighs to spread open your pussy lips.

“Jesus. Pretty girl is so wet already.”

As soon as the pads of his fingers graze your clit, you know you aren’t going to last long. 

“Please…”

“Please what, princess?”

“Touch me.”

“I am touching you.” Your eyebrows furrow in frustration at his answer and Eddie promptly grabs your cheeks, turning you to face him. “No attitude. No whining. If you can’t tell me…why don’t you show me what you want.”

As if to help you, Steve grabs your wrist and places your hand where his friend’s had just been. Sliding your fingers through your slick, you push two into your sex, leaning back again as you moan. It’s not enough, not even close. You need their long, thick fingers to reach the places you can’t. Your eyes meet the metalhead’s as you silently plead for him to get the message. 

“Need something?”

“You. I need your fingers inside of me. Please.”

Placing his lips gently on your own, he takes over what you are doing and effortlessly glides his digits into you. Eddie thrusts into you at a quick, brutal pace as your arm wraps around Steve’s neck to cling to his hair. 

“You have to be open with us, Y/N. Always. We can’t automatically know what you want.”

“I-I figured—fuck—I thought you would…know what I need. Wh-what’s best for me?”

Your surprised when you hear them both chuckle.

“That’s a whole different level of trust, sweetheart. I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I’m sorry.” His rhythm slowed then as he scanned you over. “That…that I haven’t given you enough of a reason to trust me yet. I’ll do better. I promise.”

“Baby…” Your heart broken little girl voice was tearing them apart. Steve kissed your temple as Eddie used his free hand to brush some of your hair back. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. We do trust you. You’ve gotten so much better at proving that to us since we met you.”

“What he means is, he doesn’t think you’re ready to let go and trust us like that.”

“But—”

“Sweetheart, it’s not a bad thing or anything you should be ashamed of. We just…after everything you’ve been through with people commanding you around and hurting you…”

“I wouldn’t have asked you here, if I didn’t feel comfortable letting go and trusting you.”

“To be fair, you didn’t ask. You led and we followed.”

Gripping Eddie’s wrist, you moved his hand from between your legs and climbed onto his lap, cupping his cheeks forcefully in your hands. 

“Tonight, I’m letting go. I told you to show me how much you care about me. No reservations, no holding back.” When they glanced at each other, you roughly moved his face to focus back on you. “I said…show me.” His chocolate eyes glare into your confident ones before you’re abruptly lifted from behind and carried to the bedroom. 

You were so entranced by the other boy that you didn’t even notice Steve stand until he took hold of you. After throwing you on to the mattress, you watch as they quickly get undressed, and kick their clothes aside. Without saying a word, Steve dropped to his knees, grabbed your thighs, and yanked you to the end of the bed. 

Closing your eyes, a moan left your throat as he practically shoved his face into your cunt and his tongue began devouring you. You felt a dip beside you and turned to find Eddie holding his cock as he brought the end to your lips. 

“Open.”, he commanded. As soon as your mouth parted just enough, he pushed himself between them, lacing his fingers into your hair as he began to thrust his hips slowly. “That’s it, princess. Flat tongue, open throat. Fuck… we can do the rest.”

The metalhead grunted as you whimpered around him as his friend built you up. As your thighs tried to close, his firm hands pressed them flat as his mouth wrapped around your clit. Your eyes squeezed tighter together as you mewled and hollowed out your cheeks. Drool and spit were leaking from both corners of your mouth as both men held you still.

Eddie suddenly pulled back, leaning down till his forehead was against yours as his grip on your hair tightened. 

“Cum, baby. Cum all over Steve’s face. It’s ok if it’s messy. We like it that way.” Your hand clung to his wrist as you panted against his lips, moaning as the coil snapped, and your legs shook in the other man’s grasp. “Good girl, sweetheart. Good girl.”

Steve rose to his feet lifting you again, bringing you further up the mattress, and man handling you onto your stomach. Spreading your legs a bit wider and lifting your lower half, you groaned when you felt him spit directly into your pussy before guiding his cock into your entrance. Falling flat against you, he rolls his hips, allowing you to adjust to the feeling of him as your eyes roll.

“F-fuck yes. Yes, Steve. P-please.”, you beg as he tenderly traces kisses along your shoulder. 

“Why are you begging, honey? I thought—fuck—I thought you wanted us to take control? For us to show you we know what’s best for you?”

“I-I-I do. I just… you feel so good. Please.”

“Shhhh. Shhhh. It’s ok, pretty girl. I got you, baby.” His palm slides around to grasp your throat as he grounded his hips harder into you. Your eyes widen, jaw going slack as he grunts loudly behind you and thrusts into a bit faster. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Your little pussy takes me so well. I’m gonna take care of you, ok? You…you remember what to say if I’m hurting you?”

You could barely form a coherent thought let alone answer his question. Ringed fingers moved some of your hair out of your face as Eddie’s breath warmed your ear. 

“Come on, princess. You can do it. What do you say if you feel uncomfortable or if we’re hurting you?”

“P-P-Paris.”

“Good girl.” You felt like you wanted to cry with happiness when they both praised you.

Steve leaned back on his knees and lifted his leg, placing his foot near your side. One of his hands held the meat of your ass as the other grabbed the back of your neck, pressing you into the mattress. At this angle, when he slammed his hips into yours, you swore you felt him reach your inside your stomach. Eddie’s hand reached for yours and you held on to it tightly as Steve punched his cock into you. 

Releasing his hold on you, the man placed his hand beside your head allowing you to crane your neck so you could look at him. 

“So…deep, Steve. Fuck.”

“Does my dick feel good, baby?”

“Y-Yes, Steve.”

“Cum, Y/N. Cum hard on my cock.” Pumping into you faster, you screamed into the sheets as you felt your walls clench around him and your vision was blinded by white. “Goddamn it! Come here. Come here, pretty girl.”

Pulling out, he grabbed your arm as he fell back against the bed, fisting himself with your slick as he guided your lips to his tip. “Open up, honey.” Without hesitation, you took over, bobbing your head as fast and deep as you could. Whimpering, his fingers aggressively threaded through your hair to hold you still as he thrust his warm spend down your throat. “Fuck…go-good girl. Take it all and swallow.”

As you softly trailed kisses up stomach to his chest, Eddie laid himself beside you two, shoulder to shoulder with his friend. You glanced his way and he offered you big, sexy grin in return. 

“No rush, sweetheart. Take your time.”

When your eyes met Steve’s again his head tilted in amusement when he realized what headspace you were in and what you were looking for. Cupping your cheeks in his hands, he brings your lips gently to his own.

“You want to fuck Eddie, baby girl?” When you nod, his thumb caresses your bottom lip. “Ok. Why don’t you ask him if that’s ok.”

“Eddie…can I fuck you, please?”

Your needy, little voice had the metalhead licking his lips as he motioned for you with his fingers. “Yeah, beautiful. Come here.” Placing you on his lap, you straddle his waist as your hands reach out to hold his shoulders while he grips the base of his cock. Lifting your hips, you gradually descend on to him, both of you moaning at the feel of him stretching your walls. Your sweaty forehead falls against his as you begin to grind. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. God, you’re so gorgeous especially—mmm—especially riding my dick. Really ride it, babe. Take all of me.” His palms take hold of your sides as you lean back and do what he says. They both watch with glassy eyes as your tits bounce along with you. “Come on, Y/N. Harder!” You whimper with pleasure as he smacks your ass, trying to move as hard as you can. 

“E-Eddie. Please…help.”

“You need some help?” Taking your face in his hands, he brings you down to your chest is flush with his as presses your face into the pillow behind him. “Of course you do, little one. You know why? Only we know how to please you.”

His hips thrust up into yours hard and you immediately saw stars. Grunts and groans filled your ears as he set an aggressive pace. 

“Y-you’re doing so good, Y/N. Fuck…your cunt is so fucking tight. It’s too good. Let go again, sweetheart. Let me make you cum.”

Eddie released you and you sat back as your own palms leaned against his chest while his hands forced you down to meet each pump of his hips. Steve reached over you both and rapidly rubbed against your clit as you moaned loudly. 

They watch as you come undone, trembling as you pant and fall forward with your mouth just above his. The metalhead’s lips passionately dance with yours as he continues thrusting into you until you feel him release inside of you. 

Everything is silent except for both of you trying to catch your breath. Eddie’s hands glide up your back as he holds on to you, carefully turning you two on to your side and slowly pulling himself out of your now aching hole. 

His breathy chuckle fills the room as he pets your head that is still pressed into his chest. 

“You didn’t die on me, did you?”

Feeling movement behind you, you quickly turned to grab Steve’s arm. “No! Don’t go.”, you plead.

“Hey. You said you trust me right?” You nod. “Good. Plus, this hotel room isn’t like the fucking mansions you usually stay in so…” He continues talking to you in a light tone as he heads for the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “…you can see me walk from each room without a telescope.”

You smile as he jumps back into bed, opens the cap, and hands it to you. After glugging back half of it, you hand him back the bottle who in turn hands it to his friend. 

“You always put him first.” Steve’s head shot up to look at you. “I’m not saying it like it’s a flaw. It’s just something I noticed. You make sure everyone else’s needs are met first.”

He gazes out the window for a moment before softly smiling in your direction and taking you in his arms to carry you into the bathroom. Placing you on the sink, he spoke as he started making a bath. 

“Probably because I know what it feels like not to be taken care of. That’s probably also why we’re so good at this job. Remember, I told you my dad had this idea of who he wanted me to be? Well, he never even stuck around to make sure it happened. I spent most of my childhood alone or with friends.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Eddie comes up to your side and lifts you again, placing you in the warm water before they both follow after. “I like that you’re both loyal to each other. It’s one of the first things I noticed. Honestly, except for Sarah, I think everyone else is looking out for themselves.”

“Maybe…when you go home…you should change that.”, the metalhead sighs as he cleans you. “It’s been really hard for us watching Mark talk down to you the way he has.”

“And Jack.”, Steve adds. “It sucks because we can’t protect you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Y/N, if you worked for us we would have fired all these people already. As soon as Mark raised his voice to demean you, we would have told him to fuck off. But we work for you. Technically, even he is above us.”

“I’m learning. It’s part of the reason I’ve been such a bitch. I panic when I feel out of control so I just ugh!”, you playfully growl to emphasis your point. 

“It’s called fight or flight, sweetheart.”, Eddie smirks. “You lean more towards the fight side like we do but sometimes…”

“What about you, Ed? Were you cared for as a kid?”

“By my mom, yeah. Then a few years later with my uncle after my dad went in.”

“May I ask what he did to get sent to jail?”

“No, you may not.” His tone was stern but not rough in any way. It was meant to be a warning. 

“Are you ready to get out, honey?”, Steve whispers. After you nod, he rises from the tub and helps you step onto the tile, wrapping you in a towel as he dries you off. 

“Have you two ever been out of the country?”

“My parents have so many times but not me.”

You glance at the metalhead who shakes his head as he shuffles the towel through his hair. The other boy leads you back into the bedroom and helps get you into some fresh pajamas. 

“Maybe, if we’re up for it, tomorrow I can show you guys around. Paris is a beautiful city.”

“That sounds like a good idea, baby. For right now though, are you hungry or anything?”

“No. Thank you for asking but I’m exhausted.”

Steve smiles as he watches you crawl under covers, letting you get comfortable before doing the same and pulling your back to his chest. Eddie lays in front of you and you pleasantly sigh as he touches your cheek. 

“I’m sorry for being short with you. I have some trouble talking about that period in my life.”

“I understand. Trust me. I get it better than anyone. Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart. I’ll be here.”

He chuckles as he watches your eyelids become heavier. “I don’t think you’ve called me anything like that before. Usually it’s just ‘Eddie’ or ‘Asshole’.”

You smirk as he leans down to kiss your forehead. 

“We’re here to, Y/N, and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon.” 

###############

@rckstrbee @melodymishahiddlestan @strangerfreak

@siriuslysmoking @micheledawn1975 @cositaslua

@munsonmoonshine86 @unfocused81 @paleidiot

@dad-steddie @aol19 @strngrlytn @mrsjellymunson

@needylilgal022

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — final part

pairing: modern!actor!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k words

warnings: explicit language, angst

summary: you and steve finally have the long overdue conversation that probably should've happened days before filming ended and not at the wrap party. but better late than never, right?

CHAPTER SEVEN | ❝𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆❞

“We’re in the home stretch. Tomorrow’s it.”

It was a bit difficult to pinpoint what exactly Jessie’s words did to you at that moment. On one hand, you were happy that filming would be done tomorrow because it was always satisfying seeing all of the hard work that had been done by the cast and crew get wrapped up in what felt like a pretty bow. 

And then on the other hand, from a more personal standpoint, it was hard to feel truly happy about it all because of where things currently were with you and Steve; this weird and distant place that when you thought about it too hard only confused you. You had the strongest feeling that you wouldn’t see him again, or even simply talk to him, once filming was done, and although you liked to pretend that that didn’t matter to you, you still found it hard to make peace with that fact. 

You took a long sip from your morning coffee and decided not to think about him right then. 

Jessie continued on. “And depending on how today goes, we might even be able to end a bit early tomorrow.”

The two of you were currently walking to the complete other side of set because a scene was being filmed in twenty minutes and since you weren’t needed anywhere else right then, you decided to watch.

“That’s great,” You said, nodding at her words. 

“Anyway, though, I feel like I’ve barely gotten to see you lately so I haven’t been able to tell you this, but you’ve been doing so fucking great these past three months,” She told you before taking a bite from the bagel she had in hand. “I have no idea what I would do if you weren’t coming to Europe next month.”

You let the happiness that Jessie’s words managed to hit you with wash over you— it was a nice contrast from the sadness you’d been feeling lately that you masked as indifference— and you fully embraced her words. As that next stage started getting closer you felt more and more excited for it. You were ready to be in a completely different place, far away from where it felt like your personal life was on somewhat of a downward spiral. Over the past few days, you’d come to the conclusion that you were better off keeping work as your sole priority. 

Although it had actually been simple finding some sort of work-life balance when your and Steve’s “arrangement” started and most of your evenings and nights became filled with him— you realized that you didn’t have to fully consume yourself in your work to still be good at it, and everything Jessie had just said to you only further confirmed that— now you didn’t care about having any sort of balance. Because focusing only on your current job and also what you’d be doing next in Europe made it easier to not think about anything else. And that had especially been useful this past week because you truly didn’t want to think about anything aside from work— not about Steve and how easily everything with him went to shit, not about how it all hurt you so much more than you’d allow yourself to admit, and definitely not about the lingering regret you’d been feeling although you also believed that what you’d done was ultimately for the best. 

Of course, you knew that shoving it all down and not facing it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, and perhaps a conversation between you and Steve was sorely needed, but you were upset with him, even a little angry. And then you were also equally upset at yourself, which made you really not want to say anything to him or even think about the situation. 

“Thanks, I’m a little scared but also so ready for it,” You said and then didn’t hesitate to say your next words. “I really can’t wait to get out of LA.” 

“You and me both, honestly,” Jessie said with a quick nod. Before she could say anything else, she was pulled into a conversation with the Director of Photography about her thoughts on how the scene should be set up; what kind of shots she wanted, etc. 

As they talked, you simply looked around and let yourself take everything in for a second; watching the various crew members move about, some putting final touches on the set and others talking to the handful of extras and prepping them. It was the fact that everyone was essentially working together to achieve the same vision that made you smile. 

This was what you loved, this was what you would never get tired of. It was what made it all worth it in your eyes. To you nothing was as important as being a part of this. 

Barely a second later, Steve walked onto set and your mind quickly reminded you that he was in the scene that was about to film, which immediately washed away your smile and your happiness was replaced with that familiar feeling of indifference. 

You couldn’t even remember the last time you had an actual conversation with him. He would really only talk to you when he needed something, and it was in those moments that you were reminded you were still his assistant, because when you were actually friends with him it didn’t really feel that way. Until two days ago when Martin, his new and more long term assistant, took over, so then actually needing things from you became a rarity. 

It didn’t take long for your gazes to meet, somehow it was still startlingly easy to lock eyes with him in a crowded room, and for the briefest of moments nothing was said or done. 

Until you gave him a small curt nod and a half smile, and then walked away, quickly deciding that being anywhere else was more important to you right then. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Production wrap parties had always been your favorite. Seeing the entire cast and crew come together to celebrate the work that had been done over the past few months always warmed your heart. It almost felt as good as watching the final product of the movie.

However, this time you couldn’t find the heart to enjoy the party like you normally would, and it was fully because of Steve. 

The party was happening in one of the Executive Producers' huge homes in Hollywood Hills, but apparently the house was not big enough for you and Steve to not see each other. There was some sort of dance of avoidance happening between you two in the expansive dining room area that the majority of the party was taking place in— walking around each other and pretending as if the other didn’t exist as you both got pulled into various conversations. That painfully went on for almost an entire hour until Steve apparently got tired of the dance and game of pretend and finally went up to you. 

You were alone, probably for the first time since you showed up at the party, and you were standing by one of the many floor-to-ceiling windows admiring the view of the city. He lightly tapped your shoulder to grab your attention, and it felt almost insane how easily you were able to tell it was him simply by his touch.

“Hey…” He said as you turned around to face him. “Can we talk?”

There was something about that three worded question that made you confused and the tiniest bit angry. 

“Now you want to talk?” You asked, keeping your voice level as you spoke because you didn’t want anyone to focus on you and him, but you still narrowed your eyes at him. “After a week of nothing but radio silence?” 

“I know, and I fully deserve you being mad at me right now,” He said softly. “But, please.”

You hated that somehow the look on his face and softness in his tone managed to loosen your resolve, making you ultimately nod at him. “Okay.”

It immediately became an unspoken understanding that this long overdue conversation couldn’t happen right here in this open space where there was potential for anyone to interrupt at any moment. And luckily right then everyone else was seemingly in a world of their own so they didn’t notice you and Steve heading down a random hallway and walking into the first room you saw. It was one of the many bedrooms that you assumed was in this house and you quickly noticed the sliding door that led to the balcony attached to the room. 

You walked out onto it and Steve followed you. After taking a quick breath, glad to have some fresh air filling your lungs because it somehow made things a bit more bearable, you looked at him. “So… let’s talk?”

You didn’t necessarily know what you expected him to say or how this conversation would begin, maybe with some unimportant and forced small talk that would feel weird because there was a point where the two of you were so far past that. However, you definitely didn’t expect him to immediately start with “I’m sorry.”

“I’m so fucking sorry for this past week, and avoiding you and pushing you away,” Steve said and you could only look at him, slightly stunned by his apologetic words. “I thought I was completely okay with what you said that night at your apartment, the last time we really talked, about us just being friends and nothing more, but…” He trailed off with whatever he was about to continue with, which made you both confused and curious. 

“What?” You asked softly, breaking through his thoughts. You desperately wanted to hear everything that was going through his mind. 

“You said that you didn’t want us to be real and that you could never see us being anything more. And I felt like such an idiot for feeling the complete opposite way,” His gaze was off of you and instead he was looking straight ahead. “And it was just too hard to see you and pretend that everything was fine.”

And there it finally was, the “why” behind him pushing you away that you had desperately wanted to know, and it was a “why” that actually made so much sense because you knew that if the roles had been reversed you would have done the same thing.  

His words, especially the first part of them, also reminded you that you weren’t completely innocent in this situation. Because what you said to him that night, which became the main reason why he’d been so distant, wasn’t true. 

“I’m really sorry too,” You said, which made him look at you again and you could see that he was confused why you were apologizing right then. “I lied… I honestly really do see it; us being more, being real. I could see it so goddamn easily sometimes and it made me want it even more. There were so many moments over that past month where it all felt too real and like everything we were doing meant something more than just sex or just a friendship. Especially when you surprised me for my birthday. That was the best thing that happened to me in a long time. And actually, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you started speaking again. “Also, it was dumb of me to think that the sex part of it ending wouldn’t really matter because we’d still have the friend part and everything would pretty much stay the same. Because nothing will ever be like these past three months, and specifically the last five weeks. We’re not gonna see each other as often anymore and it’ll be rare if we’ll even be able to talk as much. It’s all gonna be so different.”

It was as if everything that you had forced yourself not to think about this past week was coming out at full force as word vomit. You had no idea how much sense any of what you were saying made, but you hoped it all would lead to some sort of point in the end. 

“Why did you lie that night?” He asked, and it was the question you should’ve been expecting to hear. 

“Every time I thought about us being more I would tell myself that us being together in that way wouldn’t make sense; our lives are so different. So, I thought it would be easier to lie to you because then you couldn’t try and convince me that somehow we do make sense together,” You answered. “But, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t regretted lying and not taking it all back. Right when you left, I wanted to run up to you and tell you the truth.”

He glanced at you for a brief moment and then just as quickly looked away. “I wish you did.”

“I do want something more with you. I fully want something real,” You told him, letting those honest words fall from your lips for the first time ever. “But, the thought of trying something and it all ending horribly scares me so fucking much and makes me not want to even take that chance… And I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, it scares me too.”

The question of “So, where do we go from here?” lingered in the cool air and neither of you had a clear answer to it. Was it possible for the two of you to actually and solely be just friends after admitting you have feelings for each other? If you were being a thousand percent honest with yourself, you weren’t entirely sure. 

You leaned back against the closed sliding door and let your thoughts run. Things were quiet between you and Steve, but it wasn’t the awkward kind. Instead, it felt as if both of you were fully consumed by your own thoughts right then and neither of you really knew what to say. And then, at the same time, you two also didn’t want whatever this moment was to end just yet. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity but also the complete opposite, you spoke. “I’m kinda just realizing this now, but even though we never admitted it to each other or probably even thought about it ourselves, I think we were in some sort of a real relationship. Because honestly the only thing missing was the label; we were doing practically everything else two people in a relationship would do. And I think that’s why you avoiding me and barely talking to me felt so much more devastating than I’d like to admit. It felt like the worst break up, and I never want that to happen again.”

Steve was quiet for a few moments. It was easy to tell that he was thinking, fully letting everything you just said sit with him. You didn’t have to fully verbalize it for him to know what you wanted, and more specifically what you didn’t want. 

“You’re right,” He finally said, eyes meeting yours. “This past week has been so shitty. I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I’ve missed you too. I was also mad at you and confused, but I really did miss you.”

“How badly did I ruin our friendship?”

You shook your head at his question. “Not bad enough. In my eyes, you’re still my best friend.”

“You’re mine too,” He said and then after a beat of silence said his next words. “Let’s just keep it that way.”

You only looked at him for a second before asking, voice soft and quiet, “Are you sure?”

You didn’t want him agreeing to something that only you saw as right and things ending up just like they had before. You knew that you couldn’t bear the past week having any kind of a part two. 

Steve nodded at you. “Yes, I think we’d be better off as friends. I want you in my life forever.”

“I hope you know what it means now that you just said that,” You told him, a small smile playing on your lips. “You’re never getting rid of me.” 

He smiled at you, it was the kind of smile that you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever from him and you’d forgotten how much you missed it. You got the sudden urge to kiss him, which startled you because this, what you two just decided on, didn’t involve that, and you quickly realized that it would be hard to learn to not want that even a little bit anymore.  

You pushed away everything you were feeling and then closed a bit of the space between you two and held out your pinky. 

“This is super childish and cheesy but let’s promise to not let this end,” You said. You knew it was dumb, but the idea actually helped to make you feel the tiniest bit better about everything. “Y’know, promising to stay friends forever and all that stuff you say at, like, summer camp.” 

“Okay, deal,” Steve nodded as he linked his pinky with yours.  

You smiled at him. “I take pinky promises very seriously, by the way. So, this cannot be broken, Steven.” 

He laughed a bit. “Don’t worry, I also take them seriously.”

“Good to know.”

Even though pinkies were linked and you did really believe that this was the best decision to make, deep down inside of you, you wished that the circumstances could be different. That the two of you were the same people, but in completely different situations. You wished for something cheesy and Hallmark-like, something easy, where there wasn’t distance or work that made things so much harder than how they should’ve been for you two. 

And then there was even a part of you that wanted to say fuck it because why not try? Even if you and him ended up crashing and burning in the end, at least you wouldn’t have to live with the never-ending “what ifs,” no matter how short-lived the relationship was. 

But, in your mind, the cons severely outweighed the pros and you knew that it wasn’t worth it and you couldn’t allow yourself to risk it; you needed to play it safe. Your friendship with him was more than enough; it was hard to even remember the last time you had a friendship that felt as important as this one.

Therefore, you instead decided to find solace in the thought that in another life, in a completely different universe, no stupid outside forces were preventing you from being together— not even your overthinking mind could stop it— and the two of you were happy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: pls don't hate me for how this ended lmao there will be an epilogue. i repeat. there will be an epilogue! (it wasn't planned at first but i decided i didn't want to completely end it here) so i'll see yall next week for the actual final part of this series<333

final part!

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Is there a life after IwtV Season 2?

So, Interview with the Vampire Season 2 is over, you have already rewatched it a dozen times and don’t know what to do with yourself?

Here’s a list of suggestions!

Read the books

I might be biased because I have been a fan since the early 2000s, but they are genuinely worth a read. A lot of people struggle especially with the first book, which I understand – but you can absolutely skip it and start right away with The Vampire Lestat! Especially The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned are a great read and they are what is coming up next in the show. A lot of the plot of QotD happens at the same time as The Vampire Lestat, so I expect that material from both books will come up in the next season.

If you have a brain that enjoys audio books, they are actually available for free on youtube (though the narrator pronounces Louis’ name wrong). The version on the commercial audio book platforms read by Simon Vance is better though, if that’s an option for you. :)

The books after that are very much a mixed bag, but they all have some great and some downright crazy stuff in them, because Anne Rice’s writing was pretty unhinged at times. It’s a ride, but imho one worth taking.

Watch reaction videos on YouTube

I think I have by now watched all reactions that are available. For me it really brings a lot of joy to relive the experience of a first-time watch by proxy. Some are frustrating because people talk over important dialogue, some hold genuine galaxy brain moments by people who know nothing of the material. I will not recommend anyone, because vibes vary for everyone, but I’m sure there’s a reactor out there that YOU will vibe with.

Watch other shows/movies with the actors

Did you know that “Talk Radio”, written by and starring Eric Bogosian is available in full on youtube? I haven’t watched it yet, but I hear it’s really good.

For Sam Reid, I can’t recommend “Lambs of God” highly enough, and I hear great things about The Newsreader, which I sadly can’t get my hands on at the moment. “Belle” is also a beautiful movie, but his part is rather small as far as I remember.

Then of course there’s Hotel Portofino for Assad (but I’m not yet that desperate).

I actually haven’t watched anything with Jacob Anderson except Game of Thrones, which I will NOT rewatch, so I’m happy for suggestions there!

Watch the movies that have been namedropped by Rolin Jones

Hedwig and the Angry Inch – a phenomenal movie and stage show in its own right. It’s fun, it’s beautiful, it’s queer as fuck, the music is excellent and it’s an absolute must-watch.

Rocky Horror Picture Show – honestly, if you have never seen this movie, what are you waiting for?

The Dirt – Rolin Jones has mentioned the book, but there was actually a pretty decent movie made about Mötley Crüe a few years ago, that I really enjoyed.

Also, I have seen Amadeus mentioned several times, I’m not sure if that came up in an interview but it’s an excellent movie and the parallels to the relationship between Lestat and Armand are definitely there.

Honorary mention: Fight Club, not because anyone has mentioned it but… the parallels warrant an essay that I might one day have to write. (Themes: Queerness of male on male violence, imaginary boyfriends, idealization of toxic masculinity)

Read the books from Rolin Jones' reading list

I have now spent 10 minutes googling for that interview where he lists the books he’s reading for Season 3, but can’t find it. Someone please drop it in the comments?

Learn French

Want to feel closer to your favorite actors? Why not go through the same hell as them and get bullied by the Duolingo owl while at it? ❤

Discord servers

I’m not active there right now, but I have found several fandom servers that seem like great communities.

Read Fanfic

Honestly the reason this is down here is because it’s so obvious. :)

Get creative

Write fanfic, draw fan art, roleplay, edit videos, make unhinged memes!

And always: Support the content creators!

Everytime I scroll the tag I see new creators entering the fandom and let me tell you, after almost 20 years of drought, I am overjoyed. Same goes for fic writers, youtube reactors and reviewers! Leave them a like, a comment or whatever is available on the platform they are using.

Edit:

Watch the musical!

I completely forgot! There’s a Lestat musical by Elton John. Yes, you read that right. This lovely YouTube account has full bootlegs for you to enjoy some camp broadway fun!

[the-west-meadow]

Can you write "I’m trying to say that I’m glad you’re here." from your prompt list? ☺️

Kendall Roy x Reader

prompt: I'm trying to say that I'm glad you're here.

It was the day after Kendall’s birthday party and you hadn’t heard from him all morning. The last time you had seen him, he was completely wasted, getting ready to perform on stage in front of his guests. The sight of him so out of control was too painful to bear, so you had quietly slipped out without any goodbyes. 

Now there was radio silence from Kendall. You didn’t know what he was thinking; was he angry at you for leaving early? There was no way to tell. So you got dressed, headed down the street towards the nearest coffeeshop, where you bought two black coffees then took a cab to Kendall’s townhouse.

It was a long time before anyone came to the door. When he finally did, it was like watching a vampire face the sunlight for the first time. He looked awful. Dark bags under his eyes, hair disheveled, wearing just a t-shirt and shorts. 

“Shit. Did I call you?” he said. 

“Nope. Just bringing coffee to the birthday boy.”

“Did you want to come in?”

“Is there anything in there I shouldn’t see?”

“No, no. I’m all alone.”

He led you inside, taking a seat on the big sectional sofa in the living room. The curtains were drawn, the TV on mute with footage showing the outside of his party venue the night before. He quickly turned it off. 

“That was the biggest shitshow of my life.”

You slid the coffee towards him. He took a grateful sip. 

“Sorry I couldn’t stay,” you said. 

“I’m actually glad you didn’t.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“Sorry. Fuck. That came out wrong. I mean I’m glad you didn’t get to see me embarrass myself any further.”

“It’s okay. It was a good time while it lasted.”

He cupped the coffee in his hands, gazing off.

“I wish the whole night had gone differently," he said. "I feel like a fucking joke. Nobody takes me seriously.”

“That sounds like your dad talking.”

“I’ve had his voice in my head my entire life. I can’t get it out.”

He massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers, closing his eyes.

“Then you show up here with coffee. And it’s the last thing I fucking deserve after how I acted last night.” 

“I can go if you’d rather be alone…”

His eyes opened suddenly. It almost frightened you how sad and pleading they looked.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m trying to say I’m glad you’re here. I’m just a fucking asshole and all my words come out wrong when I’m hungover.”

He took a deep breath then looked straight at you.

“I’m glad you’re here because you’re the only person who has bothered to reach out to me since last night. I’m all over the fucking news, Twitter, whatever. And yet not one person has sent me so much as a text to see how I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect them to. But the very fact that you’re here is just…”

He shook his head, averting his eyes.

“I feel like I don’t fucking deserve it.”

“Kendall.”

He looked up at you again, eyes questioning.

“I wish I had been with you last night," you said. "I shouldn’t have left. I didn’t want to see you like that. It hurts. But it hurts even more to know you came back here alone.”

You choked up, throat suddenly tight. Kendall reached for you automatically. 

“No, no, no. Come here.”

He took your wrist gently, pulling you around to his side of the sofa. 

“It’s not your job to take care of me while I’m being a drunk asshole.”

“Is it bad that I kind of want to?”

For the first time he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. 

“No. That’s amazing, actually.”

“Let me make you breakfast.”

“I can see you’re not going to take no for an answer. At least let me make some toast.”

“Deal.”

You started to get up, but he gently grabbed your hand again.

“Hey,” he said. He looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he wrapped his arms around you. He hugged you with the desperation of a child who hadn’t been held in a very long time. You squeezed him back, his warm body in your arms, his voice murmuring in your ear:

“Thank you.”

[richardcampbellgansey-iii]

And you never knew how much I really liked you

Seoksoo/SeokminxJisoo

The first song Joshua wrote was when he was eleven. It wasn’t good. It sucked, actually. But at least, he wrote a song. It was written in English, his first language. Korean was his second language. It was more a poetry than a song, and it talked about an elf who, after a curse, went to the witch who cursed him to break the malediction, but ended up falling in love with her. Joshua was mama’s boy, so she encouraged him to keep writing. And he did it. Now he was a songwriter, who wrote songs for a trio. 

The trio was formed by Boo Seungkwan, Lee Seokmin and Kwon Soonyoung. But he wrote in Korean, because none of them could understand English.

BooSeokSoon. And they were famous. So famous they filled stadiums. And he was backstage, writing, but he was okay with that. He never was such an extroverted person, who liked being on a stage in front of a crowd. His twin brother, however, was. In fact, he was a musician, too. Jeonghan opened BooSeokSoon’s concerts every time, playing his acoustic guitar and singing his self written songs. He was talented, maybe more talented than Joshua, and there had always been competition in their family. But Joshua loved Jeonghan and Jeonghan loved Joshua, so that competition lasted for a very short period of time. 

He wrote his second song at fifteen. It talked about his family. About his dad, who abandoned them, one day. About their rage. That was a good song. When Mr. Hong went away, and left them, Jeonghan was pure rage. He was only ten, but he started to smash his toys against the wall, he started to shout and yell. Joshua, instead, was silent. He cried every night in his bed, hugging his pillow. 

- Be angry, Joshua. Fuck! Scream, rage. - Jeonghan said, at fifteen. 

- Don’t swear.

- I swear when, where and how I want. I want you to be angry. I want you to let off steam. 

-  I can’t, okay? I can’t. 

- Why?

- I don’t know. I’m blocked. There’s something that keeps me here, while you go on. There’s something that keeps my mind back to that day. 

- Then let it go. 

Joshua couldn’t let it go. He had never been able to let it go, to forgive his father. Jeonghan didn’t forget what he did, either, but at least he let all that pain go away with all the rage he had in his little body. 

His last song, the one he was writing, was about love. It was rare, Joshua never wrote about love. He always wrote about pain, and guilt, and grief. But now, he was writing a love song. He was writing with his sketchbook and his pen (he preferred the old style), with a soft light, until he heard the door opening. 

- For God’s Sake, it’s four a.m. What are you doing awake?

- I’m writing. 

- Joshua, you know I agree with your creative flair. But you need to sleep. 

- It’s called business. 

- What are you writing, anyway? - Jihoon, his producer, approached him with a curious look. 

- A song. 

- No shit. 

- What do you want me to tell you?

- What kind of song, for example. 

- A love song. 

Jihoon was the typical cynical person who didn’t really like love songs. He preferred something heartbreaking, something sad or even angry. But what Joshua was writing was, actually, sad and heartbreaking. But it talked about love, anyway. A never started love, two people who never said what they felt to each other. 

The kind of love that flew between him and Seokmin. 

Joshua met Seokmin when Jihoon introduced them to each other, with Seungkwan and Soonyoung. And immediately, Joshua fell desperately in love with him. With his bright smile and his joyful eyes, and he knew for sure his love was reciprocated. Why? Because nobody ever looked at him like Seokmin did. Seokmin’s happy eyes looked at him with admiration, not only for the songs he wrote for them, but for… What else? Lots of things. 

He knew that because Jeonghan told him. And Jihoon too. And Seungkwan. And Soonyoung. Lee Seokmin was in love with him and he was in love with Lee Seokmin, but none of them had the guts to tell that to each other.

Jihoon looked at him, frowning. - And what does this love song say?

- Read.

Joshua was one of few words.

When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I've ever seen

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to

Jihoon read, his frown always present on his face. Then he looked at Joshua, who just raised his eyebrows. - Don’t like it?

- No, I mean. These are the best lyrics you’ve ever written. But you know Seokmin is gonna read it, right?

- And?

- And, what?

- And, what do I care about?

- I’m glad you don’t care that you won’t be our songwriter anymore. 

- Why?

- Oh for god’s sake, Joshua Hong. How could you be so oblivious?

- Oblivious?

- Stop asking fucking questions. 

- I don’t understand you, Jihoon. Genuinely. 

- The fact that I have to explain this to you makes me mad. - Jihoon read the song again, louder. - And you never knew how much I really liked you. What is this, a fucking declaration of love to Seokmin or what?

- It is not. - It was.

Jihoon raised his eyebrows, letting the sheet go. 

- Even if it was– Why wouldn’t I be your songwriter anymore?

- Because you two would fight. Or, worse, fall in love.

Joshua tried not to blush at that option. Fall in love? That was a dream. Joshua had never fallen in love with anybody. He had never had a relationship or something like that. While he watched his brother being in love with Choi Seungcheol for years, he was alone. But he wasn’t ready. He was okay with that. He had never been a romantic kind of person. He never wanted to commit, and even if he liked Seokmin, he liked him so much, at the point he even thought he loved him, he wasn’t sure he wanted a relationship. Because he was used to being alone. 

- We won’t fall in love. And we won’t fight.

- Who said that? 

- Me. 

- Very reliable.

- Who told you we will?

- My instinct. And facts. 

- Which facts?

- The fact that you two are in love with each other. And either you fight or fall in love. 

Joshua stopped to think for a moment. - And what problem would there be if we fell in love?

- I think you’re smart enough to understand it. 

- Maybe I’m not. 

Jihoon took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with the index finger and thumb. - Joshua, you’re our songwriter. And Seokmin is our lead singer. Now, if the two parts fall in love with each other, it is a mess. Because if you, one day, write some songs Seokmin doesn’t like, and doesn’t want to sing, for personal reasons, and you two fight, for me it would be difficult to mediate. Seokmin is our pearl. Of course Seungkwan and Soonyoung are, too, but Seokmin decides. He’s the frontman.

- But who told you I want to be with Seokmin? Who told you my wishes? Why are you taking for granted what I want? 

Jihoon was speechless. And Joshua was satisfied. 

- Joshua, I didn’t mean to take your wishes for granted. I just supposed. And then… Well, if you won’t fall in love, you will fight. Because you won’t be with him and he will. 

- Why do you have to be so mathematical? Every time, you have to calculate anything. Life is not like that. We’re humans, not numbers. 

- Joshua, you’re not going to let the others see that song. Period. 

Joshua widened his eyes, jumping off his seat. - What?! But… But that’s the best song I’ve ever written!

- I don’t care. Do you want to ruin your career?

- You… I’m not going to ruin my career! It’s just a song! A fucking song, I…

- Don't raise your voice to your superior.

- I do whatever the fuck I want! You can’t do this to me!

- Oh, yeah? - Jihoon said, looking at Joshua. He was a few centimeters shorter than him, so he had to look at him from the bottom up. - You’re fired. 

Joshua’s heart broke in a million little pieces. He felt betrayed. By a friend. Yes, he was his superior, but Jihoon was, first of all, a friend. - What… Fired? 

- Yes. Fired. You’re out. And this? - he took the sheet from the table and smashed it against Joshua’s chest. - You can do this whatever you want. It’s not my problem anymore. 

Joshua smashed the door of the apartment he shared with his brother. 

- What’s this fucking racket?

He didn’t say anything. He just entered the kitchen with the shopping bags and left them on the table, puffing. Jeonghan left his room, looking at him. - What the fuck? Not even a “Hello”, or a “I’m fucking back, you fucking asshole”? 

- Shut up, shut up. 

- Hey, watch your fucking mouth.

- Me? You’re swearing like a butcher, and I have to watch my mouth?

- Swearing is my only personality trait. Why are you so mad, by the way?

- I’m fired. 

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. - You’re what? 

- I’m fired, Jeonghan. 

- Why the fuck are you fired? You were doing so well!

- Because I wrote a love song and Jihoon didn’t agree with that. 

- I don’t believe you. 

- Okay. - Joshua took a deep breath. - That song was about me and Seokmin. And he didn’t take that well. 

- What? What kind of problem does he have? Let me read that. 

- No. 

- Why not?

- Because you’ll tell me the exact same things. 

- I’m not an asshole, Shua. And I can’t fire you. 

- That’s for sure. Can we have dinner first? I’m dying from hunger. 

They didn’t really talk during dinner. Or, Jeonghan talked, while Joshua didn’t.

- So Seungcheol told me Minghao and Junhui kissed last week. They kissed! - he stopped to eat a bite of scrambled eggs. - Those two… They’re so different. Yet so good together.  

- Mh. 

- You don’t care, am I right?

- Mh. 

- Are you even listening to me?

- Mh. 

Jeonghan pressed his lips together, rolling his eyes. - I’m homophobe. 

- Mh. 

- I’m a prostitute. 

- Mh.

- I’m a fucking serial killer and I’m ready to smash your fucking face against the wall.

- Mhmh. 

Jeonghan smashed the plate against the wall. Just then, Joshua raised his head, looking at him astonished. - What. The fuck.

- Oh, finally! 

- Are you out of your mind?

- Joshua, I don’t know what to do anymore! Are you depressed or something? 

- What?

- Fucking react!

- To what?

- Why are you so… Apathetic? - Jeonghan seemed to be on the verge of crying. - You’ve always been. Always! Since we were little kids! Since dad… - he squeezed his punches together. - I just want you to react. To rage. To fucking be angry! Why are you so passionless? 

Joshua didn’t know what to say. It hurt to see Jeonghan like that, but it didn’t hurt enough. It was his brother! It should've hurt so much more. Why was he like that? Even with Seokmin. The man he was supposed to love. Seokmin told him he was beautiful, once. And the only thing he did was shrugging and saying “Thanks”. Nothing more. So he did something. He stood up, went to Jeonghan and hugged him. Tight. So tight he could feel his brother’s heartbeat. 

He hadn’t hugged Jeonghan for years. His twin brother startled at first, then burst to tears, hugging him back. - I love you, Jeonghan-ah. Sorry if I don’t say that often. 

- Asshole. 

Joshua loosened the embrace, wiping Jeonghan’s tears. Then, he searched for his song in his bag, and when he found it, he handed it to his brother. 

- It’s stupid. I know. And it ruined my career, so… 

- Shh. - Jeonghan said, reading. And when he finished, he slammed the sheet on the table. Joshua raised an eyebrow. - I know it’s not so good, but-

- I’m gonna kill Jihoon with my bare hands. This is fucking beautiful!

- Yeah?

- Yeah! It is! Why would this ruin your career?

- Because it’s dedicated to Seokmin.

- So what? 

- That’s what I said. 

- Let him read that. 

- What?

- Are you deaf? Let him read that. 

Joshua shook his head. - I can’t. 

- Why? It’s beautiful. It’s well written. It’s heartfelt. 

- Jeonghan-ah, I just can’t. What if he rejects me? Or, worse, what if he’s in love with me, too?

- That’s fucking beautiful, then! Tell me what you fear. 

- I’m afraid of commitment. Of love, and everything. You know, how do you do when you’re with Cheol? 

- I’m just myself. And I love him. Like you love Seokmin. 

- But, I don’t know how to be myself. I’m a shit when I’m myself. I can’t show my feelings. I can’t express them. What if I hurt him?

Jeonghan smiled, taking Joshua’s hand. - You’ve got a big heart, Shua. You just can’t see it. 

- I don’t know anything about love. What can I do about it? 

- Nothing. I do not know anything about love either. But, you know what? I don’t care. I just go with the flow. I just let things happen. And everything shines like the sun. 

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

There's too many bad memories

Too many memories there

When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I've ever seen

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to

Are you still there or have you moved away?

Or have you moved away?

I would love to go

Back to the old house

But I never will

I never will

I never will

On the ledge of the building where Lee Seokmin lived, the two boys were sitting cross-legged. Seokmin stopped to read the sheet that Joshua gave him, concentrated and almost in a state of trance. Then he turned to look at Joshua, who was smoking a cigarette. Joshua had a problem with cigarettes. He smoked a lot. He smoked the entire pack in a day, and Seokmin disapproved of that habit, but didn’t say anything. 

- This is… This is beautiful. 

- I’ve been fired. 

Seokmin showed a shocked face: - What… How? Why?

- Because of that song.

- But that’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever written!

- It’s about us, Seok. - Joshua said. 

- About… Us? 

- Yes. 

Seokmin looked so happy at that moment that Joshua was scared. Scared he could deceive him. The talk he had with Jeonghan could have made him change his mind about his absolute dissent regarding love, but he wasn’t really sure yet. What if he hurt him? He immediately regretted having made him read the song. 

- So you like me? 

- I do, yes. I do like you, Seokmin. 

Now, Seokmin looked even happier. A big smile was painted on his lips, and his cheeks were red as cherries. But Joshua wasn’t smiling. He let out a deep breath, his eyes dropped. Seokmin noticed that. - Oh… I’m so sorry you’ve been fired for this. 

- No, Seok, I’m not sad about that. I mean, it’s not difficult to find a job as a songwriter these days. Of course I’ll miss you, Kwan and Soonyoung, but… Just because I like you, it doesn’t mean we… - he couldn’t finish the sentence. And Seokmin’s smile dropped immediately. 

- Oh. 

- Yeah. 

- But… That song…

- I know. I’m sorry. 

Seokmin’s eyes were full of tears he was trying to hold back. 

“I knew it. I hurt him. I broke his heart. Stupid, stupid Joshua who has to sabotage himself every time.”

- I’m so sorry, Seok.

- It’s okay, Hyung. - Seokmin smiled, as always. - Can I hug you?

- Of course. 

And then they hugged.