#I’m not a good worker. I’m just not.
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Ohhhh okay okay !
#I JUST REALIZED I AM ANXIOUS BC I am worried I will have an autistic meltdown in front of people#and I have convinced them I am Normal Enough for so long#that’s why I haven’t been to work in two days lol I am a my limit rn !!!#hehe I am burnt out !!!!!#that’s also why I quit my jobs AFTER HAVING A WEIRD INCIDENT ITS LITERALLY AUTISTIC MELTDOWNS LOLLLLLL#how do I get diagnosed :///#like we all know my dad has autism and my brother and I to a lesser extent but#god I thought about telling my supervisors too when I got hired like#I’m sorry there will be days when I am gonna be unstable and maybe even week long periods where I do not come in#but I didn’t want them to think I’m unreliable#…. but maybe I am unreliable in the capitalist model#maybe they’d be right#I’m not a good worker. I’m just not.#god.
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Soulmate au - first words on skin
“Woah, hey, you probably shouldn’t be doing that.”
“…Are you my conscience?”
Person 1 is a vigilante helping someone with a probable concussion after an attack of some kind.
Person 2 is a person who’s had many a philosophical debate on whether or not the words on their skin made them reckless or if they were reckless all on their own.
#lol#could be anyone#I thought of people though#dpxdc#danny phantom#tim drake#dead tired#Tim Drake as Red Robin#op#soulmate au#first words soulmate au#ao3#fanfiction#fandom#I thought of it as Danny is the one with the concussion#but I guess it can go the other way if Danny is the EMS worker on scene with RR#I just want Tim as Red Robin and Danny as Fenton when this happens#sprinkle in that identity stuff#yes this was a finding nemo reference for person 2 but it’s also meant seriously for the concussed person#will that actually be brought up? idk. maybe that’s the next thing person 2 says#then person one starts babbling about a chicken and an egg#they are disoriented! not good! will they remember this moment?? we’ll see#does this jump immediately into a sick fic where person 1 takes care of person 2 and they get to know one another?#or do they disappear in the kerfuffle and have to track one another down?#I’m really wanting to read this now too 🥺
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arthur talking to the rest of the gang:
arthur talking to charles:
#like I’m not even making it up!!!#arthur will constantly say how glad he is charles is with them#and ‘we need you’ and ‘hardest worker in the camp’ and ‘I don’t know how we got anything done before you came along’#LIKE#showering him with compliments and affirmation#meanwhile he all but bullies the rest of the gang#he never really says anything negative to javier or lenny just like a ‘take care of yourself’ kinda thing#but he is ALWAYS ragging on sean and kieran and john and UNCLE and pearson and bill literally all of them#but not charles <3#hes only got good things to say to charles#arthur morgan#charthur#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#my posts
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Fancasts From Atop Visenya’s Hill
-> Jayme Lawson as Alayaya
The girl met him at the foot of the stairs. Taller than Shae, though not so tall as her mother, she had to kneel before Tyrion could kiss her. "My name is Alayaya," she said, with only the slightest hint of her mother's accent.
#valyrianscrolls#valyriansource#alayaya#sex workers in asoiaf#rani graphics#race and ethnicity in asoiaf#the summer isles#*jt voice* i’m bringing 2012 coloring back. them other graphics don’t know how to act.#she’s in like two seconds of tbis movie & i just could Not get this to color the way the other ones do#so i was like fuck it#akskdkdk#let’s go wild. summer isles love colorful stuff anyway!!#anyways my sweet alayaya i hope her reading is going good#my fancasts
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i just got offered a permanent position at work 3 months before my contract was supposed to end 🥳🥳
#i’m a contingent worker at this company hired through a recruiting agency and the contract is for 6 months#so they’re actually having to pay a fee to my recruiting agency to bring me on board permanently sooner than my contract ends#AWESOME news today!! and i just moved into my new apartment yesterday!!#very good things are happening#non sims
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such a difficult life
#dogblr#sheltie#shetland sheepdog#nova#2024#y’all will never guess where i worked at for ten days#THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE#you heard that right#my friend and i need money#and i’m still looking for a job in marine biology (an impossible task)#it was absolutely horrible#the conditions the workers are put in…#the tasks…#and all of the workers are basically in majority immigrants#so obv they’re taken advantage of#i only did 10 days and yet my hands feel broken#my traps and neck and shoulders are in pain still#and on my last day i saw the turkeys be killed#and it’s not just one or two#it was twelve thousand#and seeing them alive and struggling to get away to immediately being dead was Not Good for me#i mean the only comfort i got from it is that they die on the spot#not a single one is alive after being in contact w electrified water#but still#it was Shocking#so now i want to do Something#i can’t do anything about the demand of turkeys#but maybe i can do something about the conditions people have to work in#and esp the salary#minimum wage is a slap in the face
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(S)he is holding estrogen.
#they sex together idk man I just wanted to write a funny joke#punchline is that Alex finally stops boymoding to give Shy Worker a good time gg#nah that’s not the actual punchline I’m lying#I LIED TO YOU#don’t think about it too hard guys#captains basic adventure#captains basic adventure in a broken underwater ship#abibaz#alex basics in biology and zoology#alex basics#real alex abibaz#alex abibaz#eternal tea time#lowkey feel bad tagging this ETT cause literally the only ETT chr. here is the setting#dw guys I’ll write about Alex and Lithuanian Military having funny interactions with ETT staff one fay#ONE DAY#corny creations#corn crap
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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.
i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.
brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.
eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.
back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.
i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.
maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.
when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.
when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.
i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.
when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.
brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.
by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.
due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.
i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.
it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.
also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon#he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was#and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her#regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and#mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following#the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have#killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and#was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3#idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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good luck at your new work. You are going to do really awesome !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ SO BADASS
Thank you! You are so sweet. The literal human (?) embodiment of a chocolate cake. (I don’t want to just assume you’re human. It’s 2024 after all.)
Thank you so much for being so wonderful to me, always. I hope this doesn’t creep you out but I am going to follow you so if you feel a physical presence of someone looming over your shoulder
It’s me 😎
#so far this job is fine#I’m a social worker working with disabled adults#which is intense because one of my clients just randomly body slams people#I am 5 foot nothing and have the defensive skills of a gerbil so i do need all your positive energy#also I wrote a third chapter of my Namor/Shuri fic just for you because you’ve been awesome to me#if I can just gather the courage to post it#I’m always afraid what I write is not good
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btw i quit my retail job woohooo i do have another gig lined up tho luckily and it’s not retail so let’s see if i can handle it
#gonna be working with my old manager lol she got me the gig yay nepotism#not rly tho i mean she just knows i’m a good worker
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I got a free Chick-Fil-A gift card from Chick-Fil-A themselves last week at a random event (they threw gift cards at people 💀 /ncfy). I have never had Chick-Fil-A, not once, never even been 50 ft near a store because my family is very liberal and don’t vibe with the homophobia. But I’m gonna try and convince my mom to take me anyways because I’m TECHNICALLY not spending any money
#Those milkshakes look good#I’m gay the homophobia cancels out /silly#Lantern’s Rants#They made the worker give out gift cards on a Sunday???#Getting a milkshake cause the chicken kinda looks nasty </2#Please chat ONCE#I JUST need to know what the hype is about
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Me realizing that hospital visits and diagnoses can prevent me from doing things like getting hired and adopting kids almost as much as jail/prison visits would
#yes some laws are fucking stupid (that is what gave me this revelation)#but like a person on the SA watchlist not getting hired (something they CHOOSE to do. as a display of power n shit)#VS my disabled ass simply not getting hired because I’d be a slow worker (not by choice. At all. I’m trying my best)#IS AGREVATING#WE ARE NOT ON THE SAME LEVEL#WHY ARE COMPANIES OKAY WITH HIRING SOMEONE ACCUSED OF SA THAN ME ALEDGELY BEING SLOW#AND I SAY THAT BC I KNOW A LOT OF MF WHO SA GET AWAY WITH IT#AND THEY DONT HAVE PROBLEMS BEING HIRED#I ALWAYYYYYYYS. DO.#ALWAYS.#NO SHITTY BOSS WOULD TURN A BLIND EYE TO MY FAULTS JUST LIKE HOW A GOOD ONE WOULDNT#THE ONLY BOSSES THAT WOULDNT TURN ME AWAY WOULD BE COMPANIES THAT MEED TO MET A QUOTA FOR THEIR IMAGE#AND EVEN THEN. IM NOT DIAGNOSED. IT WOULDNT HELP THEIR IMAGE.#I think only Walmart would hire me but THE CLOSEST ONE IS 1.5 HOURS AWAY AND I CANNOT DRIVE#BECAUSE IM DISABLED#btw I thought of this bc I was thinking of this stupid ass cop I saw#this stupid cop was trying to arrest a homeless man for cooking his meal in his makeshift oven he made out of a shopping cart#but like what is that guy supposed to do?#not have good meals and end up in the hospital? possibly facing charges?#or have a good meal with the chance of ending up in jail? and possibly facing charges?#both outcomes can be equally as bad#but one has the HOPE to simply be good#so OF COURSE HE IS GOING TO COOK OUTSIDE#disabled#disability#cat rambles#rant
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In preparation of having to work another Black Friday shift tomorrow, I decided to start a collection
#first picture i made last year when i was still a barista#boss said black friday shouldn’t be bad and scheduled me to work 6hrs by myself that morning. spoiler alert It Was Bad 😭#now i’m working at this milkshake place in a MALL and im SO not looking forward to it#i won’t be alone at least but i Am scheduled to work 12hrs 😃😃😃#and knowing how i clean when i close it’s gonna be more like 13-14hrs#as a last HOORAH before i finally leave this fuckass job on saturday#just two more days. just two more days.#anyways i wish ever retail/food service worker a very good being able to kill at Least one customer tomorrow#aaaand goodnight now bc i have to wake up at 6am 👍#my last paycheck better be fat as fuck i stg#into the microphone#no image id sorry
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If I had a nickel for each show I’m currently watching about angels trying to make humans fall in love because heaven is going through a crisis I’d have 2 nickels but it’s weird (amazing) that it happened twice
#miracle workers#good omens#good omens s2#I love both these shows and I’m so here for this#and it’s also a love story they just don’t know it at first#I’m obsessed
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i really don’t love takes that are like “how can you be anti copyright but also against ai” because it’s like. well first of all i don’t think ai itself, or specifically generative ai (because “ai” alone is imo a pretty meaningless term that refers to so many things at this point), is like. inherently evil. it’s a tool and in fact it is a tool that you can do some pretty cool or even useful things with! and like my issue honestly is not even really with people using ai to generate art, but rather with the gen ai software itself because that’s the actual product.
i often think of a post i saw comparing generative ai that pulls from various artists to like. heavily referencing or emulating specific artists in art. and i don’t think that’s necessarily a bad comparison when it comes to the people entering the prompts and generating the images. HOWEVER i just feel like. if someone downloaded a bunch of pictures from the internet and compiled them into a book or a document and then SOLD it as a book of art references without any credit much less compensation to the artists behind those pictures, whether you consider that theft or not i think it definitely constitutes a Dick Move.
there was another post that was like “oh everyone made fun of nft bros about right clicking their bored ape pics but those same people see it as theft when those images on the internet that anyone can see are used for generative ai” or whatever and it’s like. idk, for ME my line is that when SOMEONE is making money (in this case tech ceos) off of a piece of art, but not the person who made it, that is a problem. and maybe this is just a Strong Autism Conviction thing for me bc i’ve felt this way for a long time but like downloading something for free is one thing but downloading something for free AND THEN SELLING it is another. in my opinion
BUT ALSO there is a difference between what i personally think is right/wrong and what i think should be the law. and personally i think that any legislation about ai meant to target stuff like this is almost certain to do a lot more harm than good. like we don’t need copyright laws getting any stronger 😐
#i DO think that like#protections for performers against ai being used to replicate their voices/performances#or like against using ai art for movies and tv instead of hiring artists (whether that he vfx or whatever else)#IS perhaps A Good Idea#which i think that makes sense as union protections anyway like. ‘hire actual skilled workers’ is a pretty standard requirement right????#ANYWAY i literally don’t even think ai is that bad it’s just a Thing#we’re calling everything ai now#spotify playlists are ‘ai powered’ when it’s literally just The Algorithm with a new name#bc algorithms like that fall under the umbrella of ai!!#and yeah there are a lot of cool applications of machine learning#and also shitty ones#idk#unrebloggable bc this is just me dumping a lot of thoughts#and i’m not intersted in this getting blasted to a large audience by anyone on either side of this#r.txt
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