#I’m just so done with their parenting
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how do u say hi without being super awkward... anyways hi!! hru!! I literally had to force myself to click the ask button from how high I am, haha :D
Half jokes aside, just wanted to check up on you. Kinda worried i guess?? Idk my older brother instincts were SCREAMING at me to send an ask. So um... Here I am. Just wanted to say, I care abt you a lot and i love you sm /p despite not interacting much. I know you already have people you trust more than me but, I'm always here if you ever wanna vent/rant.
Thought I'd let you know because, idk I consider you a close moot, as weird as that is
Hi um wow this is kind of impeccable timing because my parents are being my parents and not trusting me to handle my life again and they got mad at me for taking a “two hour” break (I was working on my hw throughout that said break) and calling my friends when I literally am stuck in school for nine hours all day and like. Idk sometimes I don’t think they understand how much I’m trying to not ruin my life!! Because if it were completely up to me I’d just do whatever the fuck I want and then end it once I’m like 18 or something but I’m trying my best not to go that path and I don’t. I don’t think they realize that!!! So!! 😬
#I told my mom I’m stuck at school for nine hours and she went “well I’m stuck at work for over ten”#Okay. Cool. So what does that have to do with ME feeling tired??#Yeah!! You’re also tired!!!!! I get that!!!!!!! But??? Your exhaustion doesn’t negate or dismiss mine??????#I’m just so done with their parenting#My dad is always like “we’re trying our best”#Okay yeah I’m also trying MY best but for whatever reason you guys aren’t satisfied with that??#Why do I have to deal with your shitty ass parenting and be okay with it when you people aren’t okay with me “ruining my life”#I just. God they make me want to give everything up so bad#They trap a wild bird inside a bird cage and berate it’s singing when it’s doing the best it can in it’s conditions#And then they get mad when it stops singing#Sorry I didn’t mean to ramble um anyways yeah thanks for checking in big bro we don’t chat much but like#You’re a really comforting figure in my life#We don’t have to talk often to be close dw#purple.txt [👾]
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Gourmand: Any minute now.
Hunter: …I-
Arti: I’m sorry!
Hunter: Huh?
Arti: I-I’m so sorry. For attacking you, and for- for everything.
Arti: I’ve been such an asshole to you.
Hunter: …Yeah you have been an asshole. But I fucked up too, I didn’t know what I was saying. I thought…
Hunter: …it doesn’t matter what I thought. I shouldn’t have said that. I, uh… I-I heard about your k-
Arti: Don’t. It’s in the past now.
Gourmand: Is it?
Gourmand: You attacked him over saying something that triggered you, so no, it doesn’t seem to be all in the past.
Gourmand: It isn’t fair to hurt someone for not knowing something that you never told them.
PART ONE IS DONE!!!!!!!!! Part two will probably come in about, uh, seven years, give or take. /j
(It isn’t perfect, but it’s been too long and I needed to get the first part of this comic out. I’m honestly super happy I finished, because it was unnecessarily hard lmao. Anyways I’m gonna ramble in the tags now)
#Rw siblings au#Rw Artificer#Rw Hunter#Rw Gourmand#okay okay so#The last frame is basically Hunter realizing that Arti doesn’t actually know anything about what happened to him either lol#Also we finally get the reveal of what that one drawing of Hunter being confused was about!#He did not expect to ever hear Arti say she was sorry#Like for anything#The Arti he knows doesn’t do that lol#But! She’s changing! For the better! :D#Gourmand is out here desperately trying to parent these two idiots#He literally put them in a time-out to think about what they’ve done lmfao#Neither of them have ever been hit with the “I’m not mad I’m just disappointed” before lol#But it’s finally happening! They are having a conversation!!! Yippee!!!#The time it took for me to draw this comic is canonically how long they were sitting there for before either of them said anything /j
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I was bored and looking for fanfics to read, and I stumble across one (mind you, it’s supposed to be a crack fic) where they pose the idea of g1 Starscream secretly being a megop kid
And now I can’t unsee it
I mean, he is red, blue and light grey like a combo of them, and he also at least gives me the impression that he’s a lot younger than them
And also looking at the three of them, I kind of see it
The things that don’t look similar are just jet things, which neither of them are. And yeah, him being a jet would be a detractor from this idea, but who knows, maybe alt modes aren’t genetic in this hypothetical scenario
Also another thing the fic brought up is that Megatron never just kills Starscream despite his constant treachery. I think that’s different by the movie, but whatever
I know it’s stupid and I don’t really believe it, and this would only be specifically in g1 (because god knows it doesn’t work in other continuities), but now it’s in my brain and I need other people to know about it
#I told my friend about it but now I need to tell more people#and I mean yeah g1 megop is old divorced yaoi#the war is just for the custody of their kid#who doesn’t care in the slightest#crap I forgot what else I was going to say#oh yeah so I mean this probably means Megatron isn’t a great dad looking at the two#but I mean I don’t imagine g1 Megatron to be a model parent anyways#okay I think I’m done#transformers#transformers g1#starscream#megatron#optimus prime#megop#random stuff
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Plugging this again bc I WROTE A FIC WHERE EDDIE DIES (he doesn’t actually) AFTER THE SNIPER AND BUCK HAS TO DEAL WITH THAT & FINDS OUT ABOUT THE WILL & DEALS W ANA & THE DIAZ PARENTS AND HIS TRAUMA AND REALIZING HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIS (not actually) DEAD BEST FRIEND & IM SUPER PROUD OF IT
#911 abc#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#it has letters & surprise wills & PTSD & Dad Buck#& traumatized Chris bc that’s just accurate & Buck thinking he’s dreaming about Eddie & a little Shannon & a happy ending#I think it’s really good I worked SO hard on it & I cried a LOT writing it#so you kind of have to read it I think. I’m pretty sure that’s the rules#christopher diaz#buddie fanfic#911 fanfic#buddie au#it is NOT Ana Bashing either! ppl can be squiggly abt that but I didn’t write it in that way#we DO hate on the Diaz parents bc I think we’ve earned that right especially after everything they’ve done#idk why I’m sharing this rn it’s 11:30pm WHOOPS should probably r/b this at a better hour lol
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chat where is the jar store at
(He got delivered today with a certificate on serving from the university of cunt motherington)
((why is the quality so shitty Tumblr))
I cannot with myself bc what is this mess bro 😭
#Part 5 characters to me is like a boy band to a one direction fangirl#Part 5 boy band au wait……. Has anyone done that…….#I spent 100 dollars on him and honestly I don’t know if I’m happy about that#Im really disappointed in myself for paying that much for a mere figurine of a character I like but hey I can’t do anything better w my lif#Parental attention could’ve fixed this#Anyway I should stop yapping about that I just got my babygirl figurine#I wanted to try posing him but it was too hard and I was scared something would break so I just decided to not mess w it too much 😭#Besides I think it’s kinda cute lil bro is just sitting there hes lowkey just a chill guy :3#I wish he was bigger tho 😞#Jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojos bizarre adventure#Guido mista#action figures#He makes me happy :)#jjba really getting me thru shit man
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tim drakes parents are good and bad. that’s possible! in case you were wondering :)
#tim drake#janet drake#jack drake#the way you behave is nuanced#they can be both good parents and bad parents at the same time#that’s how MOST parents are i feel?#nuance is a thing and it makes me so hdndjsjdjd when people say#janet drake is a fantastic mother!!!#or like#janet drake is a horrible mother#she can care for her son#and it can not be enough or correct or#love isn’t always enough#and there’s no doubt that she loved him#it’s just#yall#cmon#nuance#please#quib rambles#batfamily#batfam#red robin#i’m not done rambling i realized#LOL#people can make a nuanced character worse than they are (or better) in fic#that is something that is legal and okay to do#if you were wondering
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finally in bed, about halfway unpacked. all my clothes r out at least, it’s mostly just getting tech set up + decorations that i have left. my head hurts (tired), my legs hurt (sore from squatting and lifting), and i really need to purchase both a mattress protector and a foam cover (uncomfortable), but hey i’m here
#marzi speaks#i’m really really tired and like. more than a little nervous#i feel like. i’m not ready. even though i am. even though i’ve done this before#i dunno. i’m scared i think#which. scared happens. i’ll probably call my parents tomorrow if i have time#my other roommate shows up tomorrow tho so we’ll see#i need to make a target run too. gotta get some essentials#like a shower curtain. and a bath mat. and towels. and maybe laundry detergent? i’m not sure what our sharing rules are yet#i dunno. i just feel….. weird. i feel weird and odd and it’s kind of uncomfortable. but i guess i shouldn’t be surprised. this is scary#i have to vaccuum and clean tomorrow too which i’m just. not looking forward to even tho it shouldn’t take long#i just like! don’t wanna! i’m really really tired#i’ll probably feel better in the morning?#it’s just. a lot of big days in a row and i don’t always have that kind of energy#sorry for the stressposting i’m just. ghhh. yanno
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I’ve been slowly making my way through some mild artist and writers block, and behold, I give you this mini-comic of two of the next gen Nekton kids I came up with. This features Jackson and Kai, the only two boys in the group, both the same age. And Kai is questioning some of Jackson’s choices right about now…
A fun fact about Jackson is that he has thalassophobia, which isn’t great when your whole families thing is being drawn to the water, and you come from generation after generation of underwater explorers. It’s even worse when you yourself are fascinated with the ocean, love to learn all about it, yet whenever you take family trips on you and your cousins parents old submarine, you spend half the trip hidden away in your room and stubbornly avoiding the windows because if you see the endless blue ocean surrounding you, one of your parents is gonna find you having a mild panic attack on the floor sometime later. But you’re NOT going to just skip those trips and stay home like a sensible person with that super specific fear would do, cause it’s one of the only times you get to see your cousins and grandparents for long stretches of time and in person, AND there’s still a fair number of stuff to do on a submarine that doesn’t trigger your phobia of the ocean your freaking family is drawn to. He’s also way too stubborn to not go anyways, and it’s entirely genetic and gives his parents migraines.
Yet Jackson is still scared after fifteen years of being fascinated with the ocean like any other Nekton regardless. Fifteen years of slowly beginning to feel self-conscious of his phobia, fifteen years filled with many conversations with his parents and extended family about how he’s still loved and they don’t care that he’s scared of the very thing their family has spent generations loving. Fifteen years of slowly feeling left out and slowly feeling like an outsider in his own family. And those family trips are starting to make Jackson feel a little miserable, and even more self-conscious.
So he decides to try taking matters into his own hands, saves up some money, and buys the most thalassophobia inducing game of all time, and tries to bully the thalassophobia out of himself by scaring himself senseless with Subnautica. And he’s not going into it TOTALLY blind, he did some research! And he’s super into world-building and creature design, so he’s been eyeing the game for a while anyways. He just, uh, didn’t anticipate how much it would get on his nerves in the first place, and his cousin doesn’t shut up about it for a long time
Bonus, Ant and Fontaine wondering what the heck the boys are doing upstairs, and why they’re screaming so much
(not shown later that night, Jackson and Kai both sitting at the dinner table with thousand yard stares and refusing to elaborate what happened earlier that day when questioned)
#Jackson regrets buying that game so many times#and Kai doesn’t let him forget about it#though Jackson doesn’t let him forget how shrilly he screamed at the sight of the Reaper either#once their parents realize what was going on they just kinda sit there questioning their kids life choices#when Jackson is done with all the games (because he forces himself to do all of them)#(and regrets it the whole way)#his phobia is still there. he’s just…got a slightly better handle of it#and he gets better at not freaking out so badly#until his imagination gets the best of him anyways#despite the way they act these boys aren’t siblings. just really close cousins#which means one belongs to ant and one belongs to Fontaine#and I’m purposefully not saying which one’s which#the deep 2015#the deep cartoon#the deep oc#the deep next gen
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since merula likes thoughtful gifts I’d like to share my hc that merulas develops a lil baby crush on mc ever since the Christmas sq where mc gifts she the song book
#and it goes downhill from there#I’m just imagining sad angry baby merula spending yet another Xmas alone her parents are in prison#her aunt doesn’t give her the time of day#she has no one to go home to#she doesn’t rly have friends bc well. she’s mean#and so she’s just studying she doesn’t care about this dumb holiday anyways#but she sees mc and their friends having a nice time and there’s a part of her that wants that 😔#and then mc surprises her with a gift and it’s a songbook bc she likes to sing and it reminds her of her mother#it’s so thoughtful and nice and she can’t believe mc is being nice to her when she’s been terrible to them#and it’s like the first time in a while someone has truly paid attention to her and has seen her#and the lil baby crush starts from there and grows over time she’s doomed#she doesn’t know how to deal with it so she just gets MCs attention in the best way she knows how by bullying them lmao#aaaaand she’s prob in denial for a bit#ok I’m done#I wrote a whole fic in the tags#mella speaks
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Larchpaw
She/her, 8 moons, cis molly
#Larchpaw#beetleclan#apprentice#clangen#warrior cats oc#kiri’s clangen#warrior#kiri's clangen#Wow i wonder who this mini Berrymurk is. Surely it’s not his one and only daughter#surely him and his daughter don’t have nearly identical sprites save for Larch having a slightly yellower tint and an apprentice pose#But to be so forreal the name Larch is actually really fitting becuase of that becuase larch trees are a conifer that isn’t an evergreen.#their needles turn yellow and fall off in the fall which fits because she’s just a little more yellow than her dad#I also made the pointy parts of her fur point down instead of up like the rest of her family just to show she doesn’t look all that much-#-like her grandma Gravelshock#She’s technically half-clan and her other parent is unknown so I like to think her other parent had droopier fur (though I have no one in-#-particular planned)#Anyways she’s sort of friends/rivals with Swallowpaw (who I’m planning on having as the starting POV for beetleclan) so expect to see and-#-read a lot of her whenever I get to the actual story part#I actually love Larch a lot she’s very cute I’m tempted to do her POV at least sometimes#but Idk#Also I’M FUCKING BACK!!!#can’t say how regular posts will be considering the computer I use to add the border afterwords is Wigging The Fuck Out Constantly and I-#-can barely use it but I’ve got one more cat queued after this at least so there’s that!#I can’t wait to get to the actual story I’m gonna do it in fic form with some illustrations scattered throughout instead of a comic (unless#-I feel like a specific moons needs a comic)#and I think I’ll put in on my AO3 which’ll be fun so yeah. I’m excited to finally get through all these designs hopefully over this summer#and I’m done with hs now so I can continue working on it during this next year because I don’t plan on doing college immediately!! So yeah-#-I’ve got a lot of time on my hands now and I’m excited to get back to Projects!!#I’m thinking of doing commissions on my main too (including warriors/clangen designs) so look out for that if you’re interested
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working
#personal*#jess talks#trigger warning cus I’m feeling really low and might vent#but genuinely I want to give up#I don’t want to exist#I feel like a burden and a scrounger#I realised yesterday that everything I have is because of someone else#I haven’t earnt anything for myself or done anything with my life#I complain that I can’t support myself#yet I make no effort to fix that#im scared of my insecurity to do anything#I’m scared I’m not good enough#I’m scared to exist in my own home#it doesn’t feel like my home#I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni#I’ve moved house 6 times in the past 7 years#I never feel secure or safe#and I feel responsible#I wish I could just go get a good paying job and support myself and my family#all I want is my independence back like I had at uni#but even at uni I was living off of a loan I’ll never be able to pay off#my whole existence is a waste#I’m contemplating giving up on my art and business because it’s getting me no where#I might as well give up entirely#I can’t see any positive resolutions in sight and I feel so helpless#but all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself#my parents are sm worse off than I am currently yet I’m the one having panic attacks and terrified to leave my room??#I’m gonna be 26 still living with my parents achieving nothing for myself#with no relationship experience and not an inclining of self respect#grow up Jess
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Guybats fic idea where it starts off as Guy flirting like his usual asshole self (mostly just to see how far he can get with the Bruce Wayne) and Bruce leaning into it because he finds it funny, BUT then Guy’s Social Services instincts kick in when he notices odd behaviors from the kids (the Robins) in the house, and he confronts Bruce, concerned about the wellbeing of his kids.
Everyone is throughly confused at this very caring and concerned side of Guy.
Bruce knows he was a social worker, but still can’t get over the shocking “change” in his character.
#bruce is like ‘no I don’t think you understand I had to-‘#and Guy is like ‘no exceptions. I don’t care if your kids have homocidal tendencies there are better ways to deal with it.#now I don’t like breaking up families so I’m gonna give you some options of family therapist and parental classes close by….#but if you don’t change anything about this… I’m not afraid to sue a fucking billionaire.’#Bruce standing there like 🕴️#the night has NOT AT ALL went the way he planned#Guy tries to make it easier on the kids by being an unofficial part of the social team trying to help the Wayne family#it just freaks all the robins out because who is that Guy and what have they done with Guy?#dc comics#cat rambles#fic ideas#guybats#guy gardner#bruce wayne#Batfam
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I am like completely spiraling without the structure, deadlines, and social life of school BUT it’s really easy to ignore that spiral day to day so Also grad school was psychological torment for other reasons
#the executive dysfunction has never been more disastrously worse and that’s the source of 70% of my self hatred sooooo#my job has me managing my own tasks and time and brother. I believe in the importance of what I’m doing but that does not translate to#getting it done on the schedule I wish I was doing it. that I should be doing it.#it’s all long term slow tasks to chip away at that no one ever checks in on except me#and it’s not like oh ok slack off like. it’s a museum job. I care about these objects and thsi museum#also having zero real life friends to see in person is fun.#at least my parents have a dog. love her.#also being sick for two months isn’t helping like it’s really fucking with my physical and mental health#I’m so unbelievably disappointed in myself every single day for things I know I need to do and just don’t.#I probably do need like. actual treatment BUT that isn’t going to happen anytime soon so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I’m fine I’m just having a bad week for my mental health
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I’m still so very mad but my pookies (you guys) deserve drawings
#Ignore shit at the bottom I wasn’t fucking W someone in my class#Anyway I think this is pretty straightforward#I need to give fringale my heart attacks ❤️#Tbh fugos personality in this au is just me irl when I encounter a spider 😭#He looks a bit weird here I think it’s the head shape but I was sleepy during second period ok we read a book in French and it was boring#I’m so eepy after I read that book and it’s a bit interesting but. Eepy.#Tomorrow I have to wake up at 6:30 or something wish me luck (I will be sleeping 4 hours probably)#And I’m so maddddd my history teacher wrongfully accused the entire class of plagiarizing and cheating on an exam we didn’t even do yet#Just bc a girl had her phone on her desk she didn’t even touch it to text the group prior to us he was just saying bullshit#It’s not even the first time this happens he always against us for literally no reason#And he’s remaking the exam just for us and putting it for tomorrow last period but we may not even be there then#Bc we will be on a trip at centre ville for hours and the public transport is busy as fuck#We’ll be eating lunch at 2pm bro shut your ass up#Everybody was texting their parents complaining ab that mf bc ain’t no way#We’re so done w cuh#Anyway hihi mini rant (I’m not fucking laughing)#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#pannacotta fugo#Idk what the au name should be for this give name recs idk 😞#Jjba au#au#alternate universe#Also I didn’t know how to draw his hands shh shut up shut the fuck up/lh
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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