#it’s all long term slow tasks to chip away at that no one ever checks in on except me

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I am like completely spiraling without the structure, deadlines, and social life of school BUT it’s really easy to ignore that spiral day to day so Also grad school was psychological torment for other reasons

[purplesurveys]

952

I can see the sunshine in your eyes Survey by xflirtykaosx

What does your Town's name begin with? A.

What number how do you live at? It’s a number between 1-1000.

Are you a seafood fan? Yes. Runs in my veins. If humans are on average 60% water, I’m pretty sure the rest of my 40% is just seafood.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? White chocolate doesn’t count as chocolate but it’s still my favorite kind. I find that milk chocolate can sometimes be too irritatingly sweet, and I don’t usually enjoy bitter foods so I don’t do well with dark chocolate either.

Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. I’m pretty sure I’ve filled this out before because I remember answering this exact question...anyway, more Filipino lessons! My laptop is currently sitting on top of a kwaderno, which just means notebook.

Can you cook Thai food? I just can’t cook. But Thai cuisine is something I really want to learn to master.

Do you get easter eggs at easter? Some years. I have relatives who will sometimes hold Easter egg hunt parties, and the older kids’ crew like some of my cousins and I are still allowed to join so that we don’t miss out on the fun, heh.

How long does it roughly take you to do the weekly or bi weekly shopping? My parents usually take an hour. Though back when we were still under an enhanced lockdown and stores kept a strict control of how many people were allowed inside, my dad used to take six hours :( He’d leave around 7 AM to start lining up, but there were always people who arrived way earlier so he usually had to queue for a few hours.

Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? I’ve touched on this before but the first death I was directly affected by, my grandfather’s, taught me the world will never slow down for your problems and in the end you’ll have to learn how to simply suck certain things up. I remember having to write an excuse letter to my teacher saying I’ll have to be absent for one day to attend to my grandpa’s wake, and all she did was stamp on it and say my absence would be excused. Didn’t even check up on me. It was in the middle of an exam week and a week before the UPCAT. It was such a jarring experience and toughened me the fuck up overnight.

Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Tunis just because I feel like it would have the least amount of tourists, and I’m also all about going to less-familiar places. Madrid would be nice too.

Would you rather visit Australia, Germany, Croatia or Jamaica? Croatia.

Have you got perfect vision? Far from. My vision is pretty much useless without my glasses, and I like to tell people that without them I can only make out colors haha. Which is obviously kind of an exaggeration but I’m also not 100% lying when I say it, so. 

What colour bedspread or blanket is on your bed now? It’s a multi-colored geometric design so there’s magenta, pink, lime green, orange, gray, and white, among a few other colors.

What colour is the door to your house? Brown.

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? I’d rather these animals are out in the wild, but if it was a situation where I had to save one I’d pick the snake.

What song(s) do you put on repeat often? I don’t tend to listen to music when I’m sad/depressed so I haven’t any songs on for quite a while now. The last one I discovered and really got into is a song called Lose, by Niki.

How many letters long is your last name? Six.

Can you play the violin? If not, would you like to? I can’t, but yeah it’s one of the instruments I’ve always wanted to learn to.

Can you keep a pokerface and not show your emotions easily? Passively, if that makes sense? I have no problem pretending to be happy or looking unbothered like, over dinner or if I’m with friends. But if someone had suddenly told me something upsetting or harsh to my face, I usually immediately show my hurt or anger or disappointment or displeasure or whatever negative emotion I would instantly feel in that moment. My eyebrows and eyes always give everything away.

Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Maybe not around the people who know me best. I wear my heart on my sleeve with the people I’m most comfortable with.

Are you wearing shoes, just socks or nothing on your feet? Nothing. I might wear socks tonight, we’ll see.

What word or phrase is disgusting in your opinion and you hate hearing it? I hate having to hear or use the word ‘gunk.’ I think of dirty fingernails every time and it just makes me wince.

Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? It’s alright, but I don’t live for it. It certainly gives a comforting sensation though.

Do you prefer to write etc, ecetera or something else? Etc, and it highkey makes my blood boil whenever I read ect hahaha.

Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? I think rainbow prints and/or designs are overrated themselves, but seeing real-life rainbows tend to make me feel happy.

Are your lips chapped? Nope.

Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? I don’t think so. I’d be able to remember it if I have.

Ever been quadbiking? Was it any good? Nah but close, I guess? My family once did this thing where we rode on the trunk of a 4x4 while a professional drove through sand dunes in Ilocos. It was a lot of fun but I couldn’t entirely enjoy my time knowing I was in the land of the Marcoses lol

What is different about you than others you hang out with? I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to Filipino food hah, like I hate well-loved dishes like sinigang and bulalo.

Are you more skeptical or gullible? I’m honestly really just both, depending on the context. Like how I’m skeptical when it comes to religion, ghosts, the afterlife, etc, but I’m equally gullible in a way that I’m terrible at recognizing sarcasm sometimes.

How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? Once a year and it’s always simply to try it out and see if I’ve changed my opinion about it. I have not been converted in the last 22 years.

How many cups of tea or coffee do you have a day? Just one cup of coffee. I’m scared to have multiple ones haha, I’m scared of the palpitations or long-term effects it might give me.

Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? No. I’m the most un-unemotional person I know.

Favourite crisp/chip flavour? Just good ol’ plain. Nothing beats a simple potato flavor with a bit of salt.

Do you put salt and vinegar on your fries? Salt yeah, vinegar no.

What accent is the sexiest? Whatever accent Florence Pugh and Carey Mulligan have; they sound lovely.

Do you currently live in the same country you were born in? Yep.

What's your current mood? A little sad but I’m honestly glad my workplace gave me SO MUCH work to do over the weekend because it can keep my busy tonight. 

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? Not really. I like describing my emotions and sharing my thought processes.

A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park or go to a concert? Probs the romantic meal. I like the atmosphere and it’s always nice to have food involved hehe

Prefer being in control in a team enviroment, helping out or taking orders? I like being a mix of all these. I never want to be 100% a leader giving orders or 100% a subordinate waiting for tasks.

Do you like carrot cake? Not really.

Don't you hate it when people say 'I don't mean to be rude but...'? Especially considering 98% of the time they ARE trying to be rude? It will always depend on how they say what follows. Like how it will always be irritating to hear “I don’t mean to be rude but your work sucks,” but I can stomach it better and even be motivated to do better if it was said as “I don’t mean to be rude but there are areas you can tweak more to make the work better.”

Would you say yes from a drink of a friend of a friend? Only if I already know them well enough. Otherwise, no.

How good is your memory? Pretty sharp, a little too sharp for my liking. I’m able to store too many memories, some of them I don’t even want to remember anymore.

On a scale of 1-10 how was this survey? Did you enjoy it? 10! It was a delight to answer.

[ozzdog12]

2019- Top 7 (And 1)

  Another year has come to an end and thus the hotly anticipated Top 7 (And 1) from your ‘average at best’ Ozzdog12 is here for you to feast your eyes upon. 2019 was an extremely odd year for me, gaming wise. As parenthood has taken the full brunt of my time, my gaming time and the choices of what games I decided to play, have changed. I played several games this year that, under any previous year I may have stuck with longer or tried again, but as time for gaming has become more and more thin, I now have less ‘patience’ to stick with a BIG RPG (Disco Elysium, one day I’ll get to you). Now I’m going to contradict my previous sentence with this next sentence. I was unemployed for a stretch of 5 weeks and in between looking for jobs I also found myself with a decent amount of time to play some games. What I did with that time is played 2 games that ultimately made the list, for two very different reasons. I also cleared out a chunk of backlog games (Finally beating Diablo 3 for one, thank you Switch) and played several, shorter smaller games in the process. If interested in my previous Top 7 (And 1) 2017 & 2018.

And now on to the And 1 this year

Favorite game that came out in 2019 that actually came out 20+ years ago: Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening (Switch)

This one was actually a hard one to decide as Age of Empires 2: Definitive Edition also released this year. AOE2 is the one game I may have put the most time into ever, cumulatively. But I’m giving the nod to Link’s Awakening simply because its BRAND NEW to me. I did not play the original release and this has been an absolute joy to play and is by far, the best Zelda available on Switch. The updated graphics are gorgeous and the art style is great. I haven’t completed the game yet, but I’m slowly chipping away at it at night. It feels and plays like a Zelda game but updated properly to a modern console to make it feel like a brand new game released in 2019 and not just a reskin/up-resed re-release. The game is also structured in a way that appeals to me more than Breath of the Wild was (see 2017 And One for reference). The world feels big, but is contained in a clever way to make it FEEL bigger than it actually is.

Number  7: Rage 2 (PS4)

Rage 2 is a very weird game. I don’t mean it’s weird in the sense that nothing clicks or that its bad. In fact, it’s a joy to play (especially is you love iD shooters). It’s weird because outside of the gameplay mechanics, it’s fairly barren (intentional or not). And I mean that in terms of both story, things to do and the world itself. Having very little to do with the previous Rage (which I really enjoyed on the 360), Rage 2 starts off quick and with a bang. You choose which version of the character you want to be, learn the mechanics and then are eventually sent to a town. There are a total of 6 ‘story’ missions that are stretched out by requiring you to complete tasks for one of the 3 town leaders who you’ve enlisted for help to take down the General. Once you do this, you fight the General and that’s kind’ve it. Now along the way, you will kill a bunch of mutants and humans alike. There are 3 factions (4 if you count the Ghosts in the DLC) that are in an ever engaging gauntlet to the death and you get to play janitor by spilling more guts and blood, but none of it really matters, the Factions I mean. There are a few Crusher Mutants (BIG MUTANTS) to also fight, but they are essentially extra heavy bullet sponges. Now, I know I haven’t really sold you on it, but here’s the thing. I REALLY enjoyed RAGE 2. It was the perfect game to play during the summer. Due to a personal situation I was dealing with (the looming unemployment) it was nice to just sit down at night, turned my brain off and just kill things. It reminded me of a simpler time in my youth playing games like Doom. Same vibe honestly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a story and narrative driven player, but Rage 2 scratched a nostalgia itch for me at the perfect time. 

Number 6: Concrete Genie (PS4)

Concrete Genie is a game that is honestly out of left field for me these days. Not that I don’t like these types of games, it’s just as previous stated, time is somewhat of a precious commodity and had Concrete Genie come out in any other year, I probably would’ve skipped it entirely. However, it didn’t and I’m glad I picked this up for $20. It also scratched a nostalgia itch and reminded me very much of the PS2 era of games like Sly Cooper and Jax and Daxter. You play a kid who is bullied (something I am familiar with first hand, sadly) for being a loner and an artist. His creature drawings come to life with the help of a magic paint brush and your objective to put color back into an abandon town and bring it back to life. There is a VR component I wasn’t able to play because I don’t have a PSVR. The game is fairly simply and doesn’t deviate far from that formula. There is very little combat and just enough variety in the monster’s you can make to keep you going. It’s also fairly short. I was able to complete and collect everything in around 7-8 hours. Having a complete game in a bite size package is something I long for these days. 

Number 5: The Outer Worlds (PS4)

This game should be higher on the list but I put it here simply because while I have played it a fair amount, I haven’t played it enough to warrant it being higher. I’m maybe halfway through? I love Bethesda Fallouts (And Obsidian’s New Vegas) and this is an improved New Vegas in space with a more cheeky approach. The Outer Worlds never takes itself too seriously and revels in its sarcasm. The companions are all mostly likeable enough and each planet has felt distinctive enough to entice me to keep exploring. The mechanics are improved and the overall gameplay is better than New Vegas.  Its structured just like a Fallout game, so there is a lot of comfort there. However,  just like any open world RPG, sitting down for less than an hour and trying to accomplish anything is hard. The Outer Worlds is best played in big chunks. It’s at the top of my list to finish in 2020. 

Number 4: A Plague Tale (PS4)

A Plague Tale was THAT game that was on everyone’s ‘Hidden Gems’ list. I had seen a trailer around E3 and it intrigued me enough to check it out. I completed it over a whole weekend, a rarity. The game isn’t perfect, but everything is serviceable enough to work within the confines of what it’s trying to accomplish. It has some technical flaws and the occasional hiccup, but I’m a sucker for 3rd person action adventure games. The game is mostly centered around stealth with combat as a mostly secondary option. The game takes place in France in 1348 during the rat plague. You play as the daughter of an alchemist and your brother has been sick since birth. Once your village has been raided by the Inquisition, you are cast out to find help. The plague has taken over the majority of the country, but it isn’t until later in the game where the game takes a turn into the fantasy in a major way. You meet up with some really likeable characters with different personality traits along the way that really kept the story moving in an interesting way. The story was really grim at times, but honestly kept me hooked until the final chapter. The boss battle was extremely frustrating. With a sequel being announced, I am extremely interested in where they take the next chapter. 

Number 3: Katana ZERO (Switch)

Katana ZERO rules. There is a fine line where a game is challenging and when a game is unfair. I like a challenge, but I don’t want to work (games like Dark Souls are work). KZ is very similar in style, gameplay, tone, and even music to Hotline Miami. The difference being KZ is a side scroller instead of top down. You play a samurai in a quasi-dystopian future after a war. You are programmed killing machine…or are you? The story is fairly heavy and can bring up some tough subjects. KZ is pretty challenging, especially later in the game, but never once did I feel the game was cheap or unfair. Every time I died (MANY, MANY TIMES) it was always my fault. Either I didn’t plan my attack correctly, I hit the wrong button, took the wrong path, or didn’t time it right. The game has a nifty way of dealing with ‘deaths’ in the game using a neat rewind feature. When you complete a level, it shows you a replay in ‘real time’ giving you a nice recap of your work. Every time I completed a level, I felt a sense of accomplishment. My Switch says I put around 5 hours or more into it once I completed the final level, but it honestly felt longer than that, in a good way. KZ is an absolute blast to play and you should go play it right now!

Number 2: Gears 5 (Xbox One)

I’m a fan of the Gears of War series. The first Gears of War still being my favorite of the series. As time has passed, I’ve become less interested in the series as a whole but still interested enough to play every entry. I thought Gears 4 was the Force Awakens of the series. Essentially a retelling of the same story, with a new coat of paint and new characters with the old ones sprinkled in. Gears 4 was ultimately, fine. So I was actually excited for Gears 5 was going to go and to see how they built upon 4 with a focus on Kait instead of a Fenix. Halfway through the story, the group is divided and it starts to take a different tone. Gears 5 experiments with a first of the series, a semi-open world. I thought it broke up the monotony of wall hug, shoot, reload, repeat. I finished the story in a few days and had a good time with it, though once again, the ending being kind’ve abrupt. The series has a knack for being sort’ve slow, then suddenly turning it to 11, then ending.  I wished the campaign was longer, but it’s still solid. Gears 5 introduced a new mode called Escape, where you and two other players plant a bomb and try to escape a level with limited ammo. There is weekly a revolving door of new levels, which is nice, but each level is just reusing assets. I suspect with time and each new Operation (Season) that will be expanded. Horde mode is back and the character classes are fun. New characters have been added and will continue to be added, but they are an absolute grind to unlock (But you can always pay for them!) The reason Gears 5 is this high is mostly due to the amount of time I spent playing multiplayer. As stated, I loved the original Gears of War and put an insane amount of time into the multiplayer. That was in 2007 and the older I’ve gotten, my desire to invest into multiplayer has waned, almost completely. Once again though, right time, right place. I spent almost the entire month of October, logging on every night, completing challenging and playing online. Something I haven’t done since I was a freshman in college. I had an absolute blast. While I don’t delve into online as feverishly as I did in October, I still occasionally dabble when I get the chance.

Number 1: Mortal Kombat 11 (PS4)

As if this was going to be anything else. I’m a Mortal Kombat mark, plain and simple. I’ve loved the series my entire life. I love the lore, I love how ridiculously violent it is, how goofy and bat shit insane the story has evolved. I love it all. But its not all gore and lore, Mortal Kombat is a supreme fighting game. It’s not a nuanced as the likes of Street Fighter, but its infinitely deeper than a game like Smash Bros. Mortal Kombat is in a good sweet spot for both casuals and hardcore fighting fans. MK11 has maybe the greatest in-depth tutorial that has ever been made in any fighting game. It not only teaches you how to play, it teaches you the terminology. The story picks up right after MKX, with Raiden upset with everyone and taking matters into his own hands by torturing Shinnok. Liu Kang and Kitana rule the Netherrealm. Raiden plans an attack where he is essentially the Trojan Horse. All goes according to plan, until Kronika, The Time Keeper, decides she doesn’t like this anymore and eventually brings back some old friends to help her change time (again) and finally eliminate Raiden from existence. In doing this, Kronika has made all those mirror matches from previous games cannon. The production level and story mode in Netherealm games are on another level compared to other fighting games and they continue that trend in MK11. They implement the gear system from Injustice 2 into MK11 and its fine. The Krypt is amazing and is full of secrets. The Living Towers have returned, this time in the form of the ever changing “Towers of Time”. The roster, which is what everyone really cares about isn’t the worst but isn’t the best. None of the new characters are all that fun (Cetrion, Geras, & Kollector) and the returning roster was missing some notable characters. The DLC thus far has been fairly underwhelming compared to MKX. It was nice to see Shang Tsung, Nightwolf, & Sindel return (all 3 should’ve been in the main roster) but Terminator is lame. MKX had the likes of Tremor, Tanya, & Predator. MK11 seems to break what was a fun tradition in DLC having new, MK characters (Skarlett and Tremor, respectively). While I do think there is another set coming after Spawn, if the leak is true, then it seems underwhelming. I played MK11 pretty religiously for almost 2 months and still play at least once or twice a week. I love MK!

[kaspersengunter5-blog]

Cool Guidelines About Automobile Repair

People have to manage car improvements at some point in their lives. Auto improvements may cost lots of funds. Regardless if you are doing the improvements your self or employing a auto mechanic, it is a good idea to be aware what you are carrying out. Use these suggestions to be better ready if you need to repair your automobile. You should clean your automobile often to protect yourself from oxidation. Vehicles are destined to corrosion, although the method may be slowed by keeping salt and chemicals out of the painting whenever you can. Make use of a good wax to shield your color job as far as possible. Take advantage of cost-free examinations, but don't simply have them resolve every little thing on the list. There will likely be one or two extra things included on that aren't strictly essential. In case you are light-weight on funds, ask the tech which merchandise is the most significant to hold the automobile jogging safely. Get these done instantly, and help save up throughout the task. Meet with a repair shop's technician if you would like decide what kinds of cars they've labored on in past times. https://goo.gl/maps/BLvmyAMixa72 will give you a better concept of their practical experience along with the capabilities that they bring to the table. If you have to fix a scuff or fresh paint above a region, make sure you pick the right coloration. Check the owner's handbook to try to find a computer code for that hue of your car or truck or search for a sticker located underneath the hood or about the driver's part entry way to obtain the color code. Do not think you possess been toned-away from your technician because of the great value of your bill. Some parts are incredibly costly to change, which includes engines, transmission techniques or dash panel computers. You must request your mechanic about the expense of the various components he were required to invest your car or truck. Assembled a car repair kit while keeping it with your trunk. You have to have equipment to change a wheel, that contain come with your automobile. If the needed lug wrench and jack are absent, swap them. Moreover, include a few different screwdrivers and wrenches. You don't wish to be happy with getting cheap resources. Pick tools that can very last the test of your energy, especially when they're needed. Don't get sucked into for the bait of upgraded pieces for first time cars. You desire your child to operate in addition to feasible for as long as possible, and this signifies shelling out any additional to get pieces that complement the ones already with your vehicle. Looking to get that clunker to operate only a few more kilometers? Conserve the funds and go ahead and take upgraded variations. If you need to have a huge maintenance done, get numerous estimations. Even though technicians are honest in general, you can nevertheless find yourself having to pay in excess of you need to. Make an attempt to select a store that focuses on maintenance your unique form of vehicle. These kinds of outlets use a increased possibility of understanding how to repair your car or truck. Check out the greater Business Bureau and native customer advocate groups for more information on the auto mechanic shop you are thinking about. You'll want to research almost everywhere for prospective information about this service centre before you plop across the big dollars on the costly repair. Frequently these businesses will have lots of excellent knowledge so that you can take into account. Sometimes a technician will suggest you are doing an engine flush, but this is simply not normally a essential servicing method. This service is incredibly costly. It is really not a necessary service if you do not are already difficult on your generator. If you do not get oil modifications on a regular basis, you have to have this particular service. In no way depart valuable items in your car if you bring so that it is restored. It is true that a majority of stores have quite have confidence in deserving employees, however, not all do, and you do not need to be a sufferer of thievery. As an alternative, guard on your own by cleansing your car and taking away everything that is not really attached to the car. Scout out an established automobile mechanic shop before you require a single. Choosing a excellent vehicle maintenance shop can take the time and effort. You don't wish to delay until you might be in eager need of improvements, given that you might reach out to the 1st shop you find. Alternatively, request buddies for personal references and look for BBB data well in advance so that you are entirely prepared when vehicle problems strikes. Be aware of the billing approach in the automobile mechanic shop you get to. On many occasions, you can get a monthly bill for labor based on how lengthy the producer thinks it may need to repair your car or truck. Be very clear about the way it works at what ever store you have your automobile to. In no way ignore Walmart in terms of getting a number of services accomplished on the car. You can find an essential oil transform there for a great deal under you will cover one in an vehicle go shopping. In addition they sell wheels which can be priced a lot better than these at the most wheel stores. In case you are contemplating a do-it-on your own automobile fix, make certain that you know what you will be getting into to. Get a qualified estimate to have an expert do the meet your needs, then figure out what it will require in pieces and resources you should do it your self. It would likely be that you will not preserve that much and will also be jeopardizing things like security and longevity of your vehicle. It can be easy to set gas with your car and re-fill windscreen wiper water on your own. It is far from factual that these program tasks ought to be left for the pros. See how to execute a restoration and get to the crunch. Don't necessarily consider your automobile on the handiest area for repairs. This normally leads you to bring your vehicle someplace which you wouldn't ordinarily check out, and also you probably won't receive the services that you deserve. Should you aren't sure with regards to a go shopping, get in and possess them take steps little initial. In case you are satisfied, think about using them again. Paint is the car's safeguard in opposition to rust plus it assists the auto look fantastic, so playground your car inside the shade to keep the paint seeking excellent. The Sun's sun rays bust the fresh paint downward and lead to immediate chippings to destroy out. A couple of days in the sunshine can ruin a good fresh paint task. Some fundamental expertise in vehicle repair can protect from issues that cost some time and stress. You will be self-dependent, and you're gonna save a few bucks. Make use of the suggestions you've just read through whenever your automobile demands some maintenance.

[thepureomum-blog]

Postnatal OCD

My pregnancy was unexpected, I was so excited when I seen that second line. - however I also felt a massive sense of fear over what life would be like with two children, and how I would be able to continue working. It wasn’t as good as my first pregnancy either, I had horrible morning sickness, to the point where I couldn’t leave the house without a sick bag on me. I had a haemorrhage at 10 weeks with some bleeding which terrified me, and unknowingly to me my OCD was beginning to become a lot worse. At work I couldn’t touch any chemicals, not even dishwashing liquid. I had to wear gloves for everything, it was very hard to just do my normal work tasks without an overwhelming sense of dread or fear. Around 10 weeks I had a bit of a breakdown. I think I was just scared, and worried about letting down the people I worked with. I love the community that surrounded me at the pub, everyone was basically family - and it felt like I was about to tell my family that I’d managed to get knocked up for the second time. I don’t even think I was scared about losing my job, I was more worried about disappointing them. After the haemorrhage I stopped working and started staying at home. I isolated myself and my actual pregnancy is quite a blur. I remember being terrified of everything, and hardly eating because I was worried about what chemicals they might have in them.

Once Claira was born I didn’t get any relief though. The anxiety became worse. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with what might happen to Claira if I left her, even for a second. I remember my Mum helping me in the early days, she would tell me to leave her asleep, or go do something while she’s sitting in her swing. But I just couldn’t leave her. I would constantly put my hand on her chest to feel her breathing. If I walked away I had to come back once every few minutes to check on her. My Dad visited a month after she was born, while we where out for dinner I bit my lip while chewing. Instead of knowing that I had just bit my lip, I instead noticed the tingling the bite had left behind, and for some reason I convinced myself I had a cold sore. Coldsores where all over facebook with how they are horrible and can kill a baby. I was constantly inundated with posts of how the virus is so easily spreed. And even though I have never had a single cold sore in my life, I somehow convinced myself I had one.From that moment onwards I scrubbed my hands clean every time I touched anything. I was constantly using hand sanitiser, and wiping everything down with anti-bacterial wipes. I felt like the fear of it was controlling me, but at the same time I let it go because if I had a cold sore I had to protect Claira the best I could. After a few days went by my bite mark started to heal and it became increasingly apparent that I didn’t have a cold sore. I began to have a faint memory of biting my lip - I realised that for the last 3 days I had such an over-heighten fear of coldsores that I barely remembered anything. It’s like having a drunken bender without the fun - and you still get the worse hangover. I was out of it for at least a day after It stopped. My fear that I might actually have the coldsore virus never actually went away though - I washed my hands until they where red and cracked from all the soap and alcoholic sanitiser. Soon after we moved down the south coast to Eden. My family had just brought a fish and chip shop and I was going to help out around there. I felt off as soon as I moved down there. We rented a house that use to be the old medical centre. Being in the kitchen or bathroom instantly brought back traumatic memories of my own hospital trips. I began to feel trapped. I loved being closer to my mum, and experiencing the amazing fishing and locals on the south coast… but I just felt trapped, like the house I was in wasn’t good for me. I started feeling worse and worse. My intrusive thoughts began to come back, and I was so tired of listing to them. They started with me thinking about harming myself. Then they turned to my daughters. What if I accidentally fell down the stairs with Claira? What if I crash the car on one of those dirt roads and hurt her? The thought’s weren’t just audible either. They came with the most distressing and horrible visuals. It’s hard for me to even write about it. As the thoughts of accidentally hurting Claira started to come more and more, I felt less and less stable. I was in a new place, Ryan was leaving to start an apprenticeship in Cowra, and even though I lived closer to my mum, I was in town and mum was still 30 minutes away. I began to lose sense of reality, and I dissociated from myself . Even though reality had slowed down, my mind didn’t. It was like it was running a race, constantly putting horrible and distressing thoughts into my mind. It didn’t take long for me to begin to wonder if I was fit enough to be a Mother. What I didn’t realise then was that I had a disorder called OCD. It’s commonly stigmatised as a disorder where people excessively clean things, or like things in order. You most commonly see it as a 'cool test' you can take on Buzzfeed to see how organised you are. The funniest bit is that while I was growing up I actually wished I had OCD. Little did I know that I did have it, just not the way society made it out to be. My OCD made it impossible to do simple tasks. Assignments, writing or even getting out of bed was difficult. Every time I would talk to a psychologist, they would always ask me why I couldn’t get out of bed, or why I felt like self harming - and honestly I had no idea. The reason I didn't know is because OCD does this thing where it essentially makes you believe that the thoughts it puts into your mind are always 100% what you feel and think, and come from you. That you should feel guilty for these thoughts because you are responsible for them coming into your mind. Even though we all have these thoughts, people with OCD seem to read too much into them. It’s like every single bit of information that comes into your mind is important and means something. OCD is a very confusing and under-diagnosed disorder. It takes on average 28 years for an OCD sufferer to get professional help. I’ve had OCD since I was 5 years old. If I didn’t have my postnatal breakdown I could have gone another 9 years or more before being diagnosed. OCD was known as the doubting disease in early medicine records, it’s because OCD can make a suffer doubt everything in their life. From whether or not they’re a good person, to wondering whether they even exist. There was many times during my worst OCD and Disassociation attacks that I question if reality was real. Everything felt like a movie, and I constantly wondered if life was real or it was just a figment of my imagination. Although this might be a common thought amongst most people, when you’re at your lowest you start to become disconnected from everything, you emotions and thoughts become heightened. It’s harder to feel physical pain, but emotional and mental pain is at it’s worst. There where moments when I was on the bathroom floor just trying to breath. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my entire skull felt like it was on fire. The only way to put the pain I felt into physical terms, is by saying I would rather go through childbirth again then go through that. The pain and fear controlled me, and after treatment and medication I feel like I have to share my story, because if I don’t there might be someone else who is exactly where I was. I would do anything to help someone out of that torture. My panic attacks made me realise that mental illness isn’t just in our heads. It is a serious illness that if left untreated can completely depilate us and diminish our quality of life. It forces us into problems we never would have even imagined if we were well. It makes you constantly question every single movement or word someone says to you. I can understand why priests and doctors back in the olden days believed in demons. Because when you are going through an episode it really does feel like you have no control over your own thoughts or actions - and after someone is left untreated it can become out of control. Which is why it’s so important to normalise mental illness like we would any other physical injury, disease or disorder.Mental illness can’t just go away because you change your diet, or lifestyle. Mental illness can take away our self control, and make things like getting out of bed, or cleaning the house physically feel like we were running a marathon. The biggest thing that changed when I finally felt the effects of my medicine was how hard everything was. It was like basic life things where some sort of university level task - as soon as the medication helped level my hormones level out, I began to feel like life was becoming easier. All of a sudden it felt like I was flying through kindergarten again. I could clean my house without a massive sense of fatigue. I could write again without worrying that I put the same word in one sentence, or constantly re-reading and checking my writing every 3 minutes. I feel the closest to normal that I have ever been in my life, and I strongly believe that finally finding out what my disorder was, and being able to research into it and learn specific coping methods that work for OCD has finally given me the tools I needed to live a normal life. It’s still going to be hard, OCD is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. But I’m better equipped now to navigate through those rough times - the hardest step I ever took was opening up to a psychologist… But it is also the best step I had ever taken. Please if you feel off talk to someone, they won’t judge you. They’ll help you. Even if you just call a national help line. Those first steps are the hardest, but they’re also the most important - and I know this sounds stupidly cliché - but once you take them you’ve started your journey towards getting better. No one who hasn’t suffered through this would understand how hard it is for us, even though I had OCD my entire life, I didn’t realise how hard it was to me until I had my breakdown.

We have to support each other, and stay strong. If we help each other through our journeys we’re more likely to succeed.

[warmdevs]

New Post has been published on https://warmdevs.com/needy-design-patterns-please-dont-go-popups-get-back-to-me-tabs.html

Needy Design Patterns: Please-Don’t-Go Popups & Get-Back-to-Me Tabs

In UX design, “dark patterns” are deceptive strategies used by designers to trick users into doing potentially harmful things that support their organization’s goals. For example, sites that automatically add extra items into users’ shopping carts are using a dark pattern to increase their sales.

The two design patterns discussed in this article fall into a similar (if slightly less immoral) category, which we call “needy patterns.” These are design patterns aimed at grabbing users’ attention. They’re driven by goals like increasing email-newsletter signups or page views, but they slow users down or degrade their overall experience.

There are many patterns that could fall into this needy category. In this article we focus on two needy patterns that have recently become popular and that interfere with browser-tab usage.

There are two primary types of behavior involving the use of multiple browser tabs:

Parallel browsing, where a user alternates between tasks, generally using one tab per task

Page parking, where a user opens multiple pages into different tabs in support of one large task (such as comparing items to buy, or researching a topic)

Millennials in particular tend to rely on page parking as an information-seeking strategy. The two needy patterns we discuss here hurt people who use multiple tabs, whether for parallel browsing or page parking. We’ve named these needy patterns:

The please-don’t-go popup

The get-back-to-me browser tab

The Please-Don’t-Go Popup

This pattern is sometimes known as an “exit-intent popup,” an “exit popup,” or an “exit modal” (in an attempt to disassociate this pattern with the reviled word “popup,» which is tainted by being the #1 most-hated advertising technique). These popups lurk unseen until the user starts to move the mouse towards the top of the page. Panicking that the user is about to bounce, the exit popup triggers a desperate, final attempt to keep the user’s interest. These popups often contain content such as, “Before you go…!” or “Don’t miss…!” Sometimes they offer discounts, advertise an email newsletter, or suggest related content.

An exit popup from TNW News pushes the organization’s email newsletter.

The exact functionality of each exit popup differs. Sometimes the popup will appear as soon as the user starts moving towards the top of the page; in other cases, it will show up after a specific amount of time (5 seconds, 10 seconds, etc.). Sometimes the popup is combined with animation — for example, creating a shaking effect. Sometimes it works alongside cookies, so a user who sees an exit popup and stays on the site won’t see it again.

This exit popup on wpbeginner.com uses a shake animation, which has the effect of making a popup even more annoying.

The goal is to catch users before they abandon the site, to show them something they may have missed, or to provide one final appeal to capture their attention. And, according to the logic of exit popups, who cares if this appeal doesn’t work and users are annoyed? There’s nothing to lose, because they’re leaving anyway, right?

Wrong. When users engage in page parking, they systematically move between opened tabs, saving their place to return later. The code behind exit popups doesn’t know if a user is moving the mouse to:

close the tab,

temporarily move to another tab, or

open a new tab.

The exit popup can’t tell the difference. Imagine that a user is engaging in page parking to help her research a topic. She starts with a Google query, and then opens up several results into new tabs rapidly. The user begins moving through each tab, closing some that are irrelevant, but saving some to return to them later. Then, in the middle of this process, an exit popup suddenly appears, pressuring her to check out some different content or sign up for an email newsletter. The user thinks, “Wow, calm down! I was going to come back in two minutes!”

This exit popup on lifehack.org assumes users are leaving because they’re finished with the current piece of content, and makes a last-minute attempt to show related topics. Unfortunately, the popup is irritating if the user hasn’t finished reading the current piece of content.

Except when it’s in their best interest (preventing someone from closing a file without saving it, for example), we never recommend intentionally interrupting or annoying users.

The Get-Back-to-Me Browser Tab

This next pattern has nothing to do with what happens while you’re on the website, but instead it’s related to what happens when you’ve left. When a user navigates away from a website by visiting another browser tab, the site swaps the original page title with an attention-seeking message.

In this example, the Chrome browser has 7 open tabs. The last three tabs have replaced the tab title with a needy message.

Blog.invisionapp.com replaces the name of the blog post with a reminder to return to the tab. In this example, part of this reminder is cut off due the number of browser tabs open. (When users have many tabs open at once, page titles are often cut off.)

The website’s primary goal is to cleverly hijack users’ attention and bring them back to the site. Maybe there were some good intentions driving this design decision: perhaps the site truly hopes to be helpful and remind users to view the content on that page. However, this reminder isn’t helpful at all; in fact, it is problematic for two major reasons:

the loss of context caused by an unhelpful title, and

the likelihood that whatever effectiveness the tactic once held will be eroded as more sites adopt it

Loss of Context

Without the true page title, people are left with no clues for the content of the tab. Users often keep frequently visited pages such as Facebook or news websites open throughout the day in order to revisit them and check for updates. Users who are shopping or conducting research may be parked on many pages at once, using browser tabs to collect and manage product options and information

Page titles should begin with information-carrying words to give users context and help them differentiate among tabs. In addition, websites should utilize a well-designed favicon (the small 16×16 pixel icon used in tabs) to help users identify which tabs belong to which site.

In the previous example, Invisionapp would be better off keeping the title of the blog post on the tab at all times. For users conducting research on a particular topic, this tab may be one of many that they intend to read over time. The best reminder to return to the tab is the actual page title, which has meaning to the user and probably some appeal to them in the context of the current task (or the user wouldn’t have opened that page in the first place). With no context, it’s likely that users scanning their parked tabs will not recognize the unrelated title and dismiss the page altogether.

Ineffective when Commonly Used

Some designers might argue that this technique will delight users by catching their attention with something unique and unexpected. That delight (if it ever existed in the first place) will no doubt turn to frustration quickly if this pattern becomes widely used across the web. Page parking and parallel browsing will become quite difficult if your browser tabs resemble a bunch of journalists fighting for attention at a press conference.

Too many other sites already replicate the problematic get-back-to-me pattern.

When multiple browser tabs employ this technique, users have no indication of which tab contains what content. They will be forced to bounce in and out of each page to remember what the tab contains. And if these websites are really needy, these users may also be dealing with please-don’t-go popups slowing them down along the way.

Twitter prepends the page title with a numeric indicator to let users know how much additional content has been added to their feed since it was last checked. This tab-title update effectively reminds the user to return without removing the context of the page.

Think of your page tab as one of many nodes in a distinct and dynamic global navigation created by the user to meet their unique needs. Your page title serves as a label in this navigation and should provide the appropriate context and information scent, so that users can assess the content of the page.

Conclusion

Every website has a personality. The visual design, the interaction design, the copy, and tone of voice all contribute to how your users perceive your site and your brand. Needy patterns like the please-don’t-go popover and the get-back-to-me tab chip away at the presentation of a professional, confident website. They also damage users’ perceptions of credibility.

As a thought experiment, ask your brand manager whether “we’re desperate for attention” is one of the company’s stated brand values. If not, why signal such desperation to customers?

These kinds of tactics are often embraced and accepted based on better conversion performance in A/B tests. However, there’s a big tradeoff that comes with being needy and annoying — the degradation of your relationship with your users.

Prioritizing conversions or short-term metrics leads designers to pressure people into doing things they don’t actually want to do and can easily cross the ethical boundaries towards dark patterns. It’s time to reassess priorities and long-term goals: you may be getting a few extra clicks now, but in the long run you’re losing your users’ trust and respect. Nobody likes a needy website.

[fanfic-collection]

In a Name: Ch 26

Going to be hard to write this weekend, I really should have staggered this better, oh well, hope this is good (sorry for the notable change in tone, it’s been months since I last worked on it and argh)

The people @xdebora @hannah-caitlynn @graysonmalfoy @falltoashes @solsticestorm @bingewatchingmylifegoby @elenoranave @incadinkadoo @melanin—senpai @juuliiaa05 @sigridlaufeyson @ihaveanobsessenproblem @oneweirdfangirl @kristenscamander @pabegay1

Loki forced a smile, “Indeed, we’ll see how it all plays out. My lady, thank you for your hospitality.” He bowed low, taking her hand in his and pressing a soft kiss to it. She watched him wide eyed, still coming to terms with this possible future.

You stood among the wolf like mounts the Jotuns had supplied for the return journey to replace your horses. After confirming the attack with the main caravan, Bjorn had decided it was necessary to send a party to assist the Asgardians on their return trip. He felt the show of hospitality was the least he could afford, and if you were being honest, thought he might be attempting a small show of bribery for Loki's choice in a wife. A wife. The thought made you sick and you quickly forced your attention from the two princes. “Hello cousin.” Sif greeted you warmly. She seemed all the friendlier to you since your reunion, clearly not wanting to waste any time in rekindling your old relationship. “How fairs your leg?” You glanced down at it, the pain proving to be nothing compared to the hollow aching in your heart. “It's fine.” You muttered, “the healers here were quite skilled.” “You took a bad fall, are you sure?” Sif pressed you. Shrugging, you tried to stay your gaze from returning to the princes. “It'll heal, in time.” Sif's eye followed yours and she noticed your gaze lingering on Loki. “The two of you spent a great deal of time together the last few days. What do you think of the proposed marriage?” You sighed, “I'm merely an Einharjar, what does my opinion matter, it is for the good of the kingdom after all.” The words felt hollow in your ears. Sif chuckled, “Your patriotism is admirable cousin. Loki and you have a relationship of sorts, no? I've seen the two of you sparring together, as well as slinking off to the library to bond over your books.” “He is quite intelligent,” you agreed, trying to keep the bitterness from your voice. “That's not what I said.” You bit your lip and looked back at her, “I like to think we are friends, cousin, but of course, he is a prince and I know my place.” Sif searched your face, finally nodding slowly and figured it was best to change the subject. “Has Thor sought anymore aid from you on my behalf?” You raised an eyebrow, glad for the distraction. “Afraid not, I haven't seen either of you for some time.” Sighing, Sif nodded, “No, I suppose not. You should ride on my beast with me, I wish to keep track of you better and with your injury, I don't think it's wise for you to ride alone.” “As you wish.” The return trip to the Bifrost site felt quicker than the original. Perhaps, without the cumbersome caravan the party simply moved faster, or the wolf like beasts that carried everyone were better suited to the terrain than horses had been. At each rest stop, Prince Loki alternated between attempting to speak with you casually and flat out ignoring you. It seemed as though he couldn't make up his mind between trying to spend as much time as possible before his figurative trial or push you away to lessen the pain. For your part, you couldn't decide which hurt more. - Finally, and at long last, the remainders of your party arrived at the Bifrost site. The Jotun guides bid their farewells, stepping back and watching as the bright beam of light touched down, vanishing the party from view and sending them flying across the stars. Heimdall greeted everyone with a smile, accepting Thor's one handed clasped hug and welcoming everyone warmly to Asgard. Everyone shed their furs, immediately re-acclimating to comparative warmth of your home. Only Loki seemed unaffected by the change. You heard someone crying out your name and turned just in time to catch Nox barreling into you for a bear hug. “Oh I'm so glad you are back! I've been worried sick. At least at the palace I knew you weren't getting into too much trouble.” His smile slowly faded as he noticed the bandages still wrapped on you. “Did one of those brutes touch you?' He admonished angrily. Loki walked past, head hanging as he moved to meet up once more with Thor. Your gaze quickly turned from him and fell back upon Nox. “You silly fool,” you shook your head, “I'm fine, I fell into a river and well, it matters not.” “What of hypothermia! I learned about that, Jotunheim is dangerous.” “As if that would stop the queen from sending me there on business. You worry too much, I'll heal.” “I will march up to the castle and demand-” “Demand?” You interrupted, “I would like to see you attempt to move the queen in a way she does not wish to be. Even the king himself wouldn't dare attempt it.” Nox sighed heavily, shoulders slumping and frowning, “I pretend sometimes that I can, it makes the worry less painful.” You squeezed him in a gentle hug and pecked his cheek. “Never you mind, I'm here safe and sound. I'll be out of these bandages as soon as I'm back at the palace and get the palace healers to tend to this. They'll give me a clean bill of health and your worry will be for naught.” “I will always worry for you, friend.” He glanced over at Loki who was in the middle of a quiet conversation with Thor. “From any sort of injury.” Nox looked back at you pointedly. “There is to be a royal ball in six month's time, for Loki.” You licked your lips, throat suddenly dry. “Oh, is that a good thing?” “His wedding.” You clarified, looking at your shoes. “The younger prince is to be married to ensure peace with any number of realms, a political union.” “Oh.” Nox hesitantly reached for your shoulder, “Oh.” “Alright company, let's get ourselves home, we've come so far, time for the last stretch!” Thor's voice boomed around the Bifrost area, “Let's move out!” - - When you finally arrived back at the palace, Sif immediately cordoned you off to the healing chambers, making sure to get your leg's wound checked out. The healing done by the Jotuns had been quite adept and after enough time, it merely left a small scar to remind you of that harrowing excursion. Sif had been long since sent away and you started to wander the palace, not due in any place until your report to the queen tomorrow. As if of their own accord, your feet carried you to a now familiar part of the castle: the royal bedrooms. - - - Loki's heart hadn't slowed since he first learned of the arranged marriage. His mind raced and reeled constantly, the whole trip back to Asgard. Sometimes he wanted to seek you out, repeat to you over and over that this was the last thing he wanted, other times he wondered if giving you space would make it better, that he could forget his feelings for you and simply move on. Yet as soon as he saw you in any way, a flood of emotions would rush back through him and he was back to where he started. Loki stood beside Thor, waiting for Odin to call them into the throne room. “Enter.” Odin's booming voice called as the doors swung in. Loki and Thor shared a look before slowly striding into the room, coming to a stop before their father and kneeling down. ���Thor, my oldest, my heir, you have done marvelously on this excursion. Heimdall has kept me informed of your deeds. Even when your resolve wavered to continue, you pressed on.” Loki grit his teeth as Thor managed a smile, glancing warily at Loki. “Loki.” Odin rounded upon the dark haired son. “I understand she is your mother's emissary, but you had a mission to tend to first.” Loki looked up angrily, “So I was to let her die?” Odin's eyes darkened as he glared at Loki, “You should have sent someone else, someone expendable. You were vital to this mission and you failed to be part of it, if Thor hadn't had the sense to continue regardless, our situation with Jotunheim could be further jeopardized.” Loki's mouth fell open, the unfairness of it enraging him. “Enough boy, don't talk back. Thor, leave us, I would discuss the nature of this ball with Loki alone.” Thor slowly stood up, uncertain how to intervene and finally stayed silent, bowing his head and all but scurrying from the throneroom. “So you know you are to be married then? Good. Perhaps that will quell some of the foolishness you constantly get into.” “I don't want to marry someone like that.” Loki mumbled quietly, staring at the floor. “Excuse me?” Loki grit his teeth, perhaps this was better resolved with his mother. He thought of another thing. “Father, I had no choice but to act, it was on instinct in a moment of thought. I couldn't let anything happen to mother's emissary, surely she is not expendable to mother? And I was as vital to the quest as Thor, without me it wouldn't have-” "Enough!" Odin roared. "You are nothing. You cannot do the simplest tasks correctly. You are a bargaining chip, that it is all you are and all you'll ever be. Something to unite us with that monster race, with your kind. Now leave me." Loki slowly rose to his feet, hot bitter tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please, father, don't-" "l said leave!" Odin bellowed, his voice echoing around the chamber. Loki slowly stumbled back. Finally he bowed his head low, turned and rushed from the room. With great difficulty, he teleported to his room, slamming the doors shut behind him. Loki leaned against one of the double doors and slid to the ground, burying his face in his hands as violent sobs racked his body. Slowly his illusion faded away, leaving him in his bare Jotun form. He screamed, heartbroken at Odin's rejection, and a burst of icy magic radiated away from him. Pulling his legs against his chest and burying his face in his knees, he huddled alone in his agony. You knocked gently on Loki's door. The doors were icy to the touch and you could see frost poking out from under the gap. There was silence for a moment, then a hoarse and muffled reply, "go away." You gently pushed against the door, at first it didn't move. After a moment, you applied more pressure and it started to slide forward. There was he sound of crackling ice as the frozen door slid across the ice strewn floor. You stepped into Loki's room and shivered at the cold before gently shutting the door behind you. Loki leaned against the other door, head still buried in his knees, skin bright blue. "Oh, my prince." You murmured softly, kneeling down beside him. "Loki." You whispered as you rested your hand on his knee. Loki slowly looked up at you through burning red eyes, still flooded with tears. You reached your other hand out and stroked his cheek gently. "l am a bargaining chip and nothing more." Loki whispered, fresh tears falling. "No, shh, no you're not. He is an old fool." You whispered soothingly. Slowly you sat down beside him, gently shifting him forward so you could wrap your arms around him. Loki leaned against you, shaking slightly as he choked back tears. You gently rubbed his back, whispering soothingly all the while. "Odin said I was nothing." Loki repeated, slumped against you. "Yes, and what he says doesn't matter. There are those who love you, and what they say is what matters." "But he's supposed to be my father." Loki looked up, stammering. You wiped more tears from his cheeks. "And he has failed you. Through no fault of your own, he has proven himself to be a failure and a monster. To hurt someone who loves him so dearly. Only a monster would do that." Loki looked away from you, his gaze returning to his blue hands, resting on his knees. "I'm alone. I don't want to be Jotun, and I'm not Asgardian. I'm nothing and I'm alone." "Loki," you growled, "Loki look at me." He slowly turned back to you, wrenching his gaze from his hands. "You are never alone. You are only as lonely as you choose to be. You will always have me, I promise. Do you understand?" Loki nodded slowly. He breathed in deeply before slowly breathing back out. With his breath, the blue skin faded back to his regular pallor and the ice around him started to melt. “Thank you." He mumbled, leaning into you completely. You nodded silently, still rubbing small circles on his back and hugging him tightly. After a time, both of you just sitting in silence, Loki looked up, his voice hoarse. “Why aren't you alarmed? I'm... I'm a Jotun, the same manner of beast that killed your family.” You sighed, slowly looking away. Loki watched you warily, nerves gripping him. “I admit, any initial misgivings I might have had vanished upon seeing your upset. And truthfully, I began to suspect on Jotunheim. The cold never affected you, your easy survival in the water, the fact that you could touch the princess' hand without any thought on her part. I imagine you have to control it now for me to.” Loki nodded, “It's second nature now, hiding this part of me.” He looked sadly down at his hands, pale once again. Green eyes met yours and he tilted his head sadly. “As for the beasts that killed my family, I have come to terms with that. They were a different manner, you should not be held for the faults of any people just as I should not be held for the abuse Odin has hurled at you.” “You are very different from him.” Loki reached up and stroked your cheek. “He is harsh and cruel and loud, and you are sweet and kind and gentle.” “That sounds like your mother.” Loki pulled a face, grimacing. “She is wonderful, but she is still my mother. You are you. You're perfect that way.” You sighed again, once more looking away. “It matters not, nine months from now...” you trailed off, words catching in your throat. “I can't, I won't. I will try to reason with mother, see if she can't be convinced.” “Loki,” you bit your lip, “I will never love another as I do you, I speak in truth, but for the good of the realm, you must go through with this.” “Darling, if I manage to find a different way, to still unite the realms, would you have me?” You smiled sadly, “You know I would, in a heartbeat.” Slowly you stood up, placing a soft kiss on his lips before straightening completely. “It matters not though, my duty is to the crown first and foremost, even if the king is... well Odin, I answer to the queen and her wishes, always. If her wish is you to marry someone, I cannot come in between.” Loki stood up, “Have faith, I will figure this out.” “I pray that you do.”

[warmdevs]

New Post has been published on https://warmdevs.com/needy-design-patterns-please-dont-go-popups-get-back-to-me-tabs.html

Needy Design Patterns: Please-Don’t-Go Popups & Get-Back-to-Me Tabs

In UX design, “dark patterns” are deceptive strategies used by designers to trick users into doing potentially harmful things that support their organization’s goals. For example, sites that automatically add extra items into users’ shopping carts are using a dark pattern to increase their sales.

The two design patterns discussed in this article fall into a similar (if slightly less immoral) category, which we call “needy patterns.” These are design patterns aimed at grabbing users’ attention. They’re driven by goals like increasing email-newsletter signups or page views, but they slow users down or degrade their overall experience.

There are many patterns that could fall into this needy category. In this article we focus on two needy patterns that have recently become popular and that interfere with browser-tab usage.

There are two primary types of behavior involving the use of multiple browser tabs:

Parallel browsing, where a user alternates between tasks, generally using one tab per task

Page parking, where a user opens multiple pages into different tabs in support of one large task (such as comparing items to buy, or researching a topic)

Millennials in particular tend to rely on page parking as an information-seeking strategy. The two needy patterns we discuss here hurt people who use multiple tabs, whether for parallel browsing or page parking. We’ve named these needy patterns:

The please-don’t-go popup

The get-back-to-me browser tab

The Please-Don’t-Go Popup

This pattern is sometimes known as an “exit-intent popup,” an “exit popup,” or an “exit modal” (in an attempt to disassociate this pattern with the reviled word “popup,» which is tainted by being the #1 most-hated advertising technique). These popups lurk unseen until the user starts to move the mouse towards the top of the page. Panicking that the user is about to bounce, the exit popup triggers a desperate, final attempt to keep the user’s interest. These popups often contain content such as, “Before you go…!” or “Don’t miss…!” Sometimes they offer discounts, advertise an email newsletter, or suggest related content.

An exit popup from TNW News pushes the organization’s email newsletter.

The exact functionality of each exit popup differs. Sometimes the popup will appear as soon as the user starts moving towards the top of the page; in other cases, it will show up after a specific amount of time (5 seconds, 10 seconds, etc.). Sometimes the popup is combined with animation — for example, creating a shaking effect. Sometimes it works alongside cookies, so a user who sees an exit popup and stays on the site won’t see it again.

This exit popup on wpbeginner.com uses a shake animation, which has the effect of making a popup even more annoying.

The goal is to catch users before they abandon the site, to show them something they may have missed, or to provide one final appeal to capture their attention. And, according to the logic of exit popups, who cares if this appeal doesn’t work and users are annoyed? There’s nothing to lose, because they’re leaving anyway, right?

Wrong. When users engage in page parking, they systematically move between opened tabs, saving their place to return later. The code behind exit popups doesn’t know if a user is moving the mouse to:

close the tab,

temporarily move to another tab, or

open a new tab.

The exit popup can’t tell the difference. Imagine that a user is engaging in page parking to help her research a topic. She starts with a Google query, and then opens up several results into new tabs rapidly. The user begins moving through each tab, closing some that are irrelevant, but saving some to return to them later. Then, in the middle of this process, an exit popup suddenly appears, pressuring her to check out some different content or sign up for an email newsletter. The user thinks, “Wow, calm down! I was going to come back in two minutes!”

This exit popup on lifehack.org assumes users are leaving because they’re finished with the current piece of content, and makes a last-minute attempt to show related topics. Unfortunately, the popup is irritating if the user hasn’t finished reading the current piece of content.

Except when it’s in their best interest (preventing someone from closing a file without saving it, for example), we never recommend intentionally interrupting or annoying users.

The Get-Back-to-Me Browser Tab

This next pattern has nothing to do with what happens while you’re on the website, but instead it’s related to what happens when you’ve left. When a user navigates away from a website by visiting another browser tab, the site swaps the original page title with an attention-seeking message.

In this example, the Chrome browser has 7 open tabs. The last three tabs have replaced the tab title with a needy message.

Blog.invisionapp.com replaces the name of the blog post with a reminder to return to the tab. In this example, part of this reminder is cut off due the number of browser tabs open. (When users have many tabs open at once, page titles are often cut off.)

The website’s primary goal is to cleverly hijack users’ attention and bring them back to the site. Maybe there were some good intentions driving this design decision: perhaps the site truly hopes to be helpful and remind users to view the content on that page. However, this reminder isn’t helpful at all; in fact, it is problematic for two major reasons:

the loss of context caused by an unhelpful title, and

the likelihood that whatever effectiveness the tactic once held will be eroded as more sites adopt it

Loss of Context

Without the true page title, people are left with no clues for the content of the tab. Users often keep frequently visited pages such as Facebook or news websites open throughout the day in order to revisit them and check for updates. Users who are shopping or conducting research may be parked on many pages at once, using browser tabs to collect and manage product options and information

Page titles should begin with information-carrying words to give users context and help them differentiate among tabs. In addition, websites should utilize a well-designed favicon (the small 16×16 pixel icon used in tabs) to help users identify which tabs belong to which site.

In the previous example, Invisionapp would be better off keeping the title of the blog post on the tab at all times. For users conducting research on a particular topic, this tab may be one of many that they intend to read over time. The best reminder to return to the tab is the actual page title, which has meaning to the user and probably some appeal to them in the context of the current task (or the user wouldn’t have opened that page in the first place). With no context, it’s likely that users scanning their parked tabs will not recognize the unrelated title and dismiss the page altogether.

Ineffective when Commonly Used

Some designers might argue that this technique will delight users by catching their attention with something unique and unexpected. That delight (if it ever existed in the first place) will no doubt turn to frustration quickly if this pattern becomes widely used across the web. Page parking and parallel browsing will become quite difficult if your browser tabs resemble a bunch of journalists fighting for attention at a press conference.

Too many other sites already replicate the problematic get-back-to-me pattern.

When multiple browser tabs employ this technique, users have no indication of which tab contains what content. They will be forced to bounce in and out of each page to remember what the tab contains. And if these websites are really needy, these users may also be dealing with please-don’t-go popups slowing them down along the way.

Twitter prepends the page title with a numeric indicator to let users know how much additional content has been added to their feed since it was last checked. This tab-title update effectively reminds the user to return without removing the context of the page.

Think of your page tab as one of many nodes in a distinct and dynamic global navigation created by the user to meet their unique needs. Your page title serves as a label in this navigation and should provide the appropriate context and information scent, so that users can assess the content of the page.

Conclusion

Every website has a personality. The visual design, the interaction design, the copy, and tone of voice all contribute to how your users perceive your site and your brand. Needy patterns like the please-don’t-go popover and the get-back-to-me tab chip away at the presentation of a professional, confident website. They also damage users’ perceptions of credibility.

As a thought experiment, ask your brand manager whether “we’re desperate for attention” is one of the company’s stated brand values. If not, why signal such desperation to customers?

These kinds of tactics are often embraced and accepted based on better conversion performance in A/B tests. However, there’s a big tradeoff that comes with being needy and annoying — the degradation of your relationship with your users.

Prioritizing conversions or short-term metrics leads designers to pressure people into doing things they don’t actually want to do and can easily cross the ethical boundaries towards dark patterns. It’s time to reassess priorities and long-term goals: you may be getting a few extra clicks now, but in the long run you’re losing your users’ trust and respect. Nobody likes a needy website.