#I’m joking folks

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Amazon: you had the guts to do Sauron x Galadriel. As a Tolkien fan, I admit that’s brilliant and I’m hooked on this ship.

Now, your job is to give us Half-Maia Celebrían.

How could this fit Tolkien canon:

In one of his drafts, Tolkien “kind of forgot” that Celeborn was suppose to be in picture when Galadriel became pregnant (who moves next door around the same time? Annatar/Sauron to forge the rings with Celebrimbor). Yeah, I know Tolkien correct this later, but still. “Half-Celebrían theory” was born in the 80’s;

Poor Celebrían suffered a horrible torture at the hands of Orcs when she was on her way from Rivendell to Lothlórien and she lost her will to live and travelled to Valinor (leaving Elrond and their children behind). How could this work? Revenge for Adar’s death (not all Orcs were enslaved by Sauron);

In some versions of the lore, Elven pregnancies can last between 1 and 100 years (let that sink in);

Sauron loses the ability to take on physical form after the Fall of Númenor, and he’s on Annatar form when it happens;

Sauron not wanting to become like Morgoth, but that’s what happens, in almost every way (his bounds to Morgoth are too strong).

Every living being is a creation of Eru. It has been confirmed that Eru was the one who brought Galadriel and Halbrand/Mairon together in Season 1.

In other post I already explained “Maiar reproduction” according to Tolkien. In order to do this, Maiar need to take on a physical form. The catch: they become bound to it, and are unable to return to their true spiritual form, unless their physical form gets destroyed (to break them free, basically).

We are bound in spirit, lets us bound in flesh, too, my precious?

Tolkien also brainstormed the hypothesis of the Maiar corrupted by Morgoth (Balrogs and Sauron), and what would happen if they were to reproduce. It’s pretty much the same (bound to their physical form at the time). But there’s also, another, catch: if they were to do such a thing (produce child or children), they would be “damned” and “reduced to impotency” if their physical form got destroyed (these are Tolkien’s words, by the way). Meaning, they would lose the ability to take on a physical form, afterwards.

What would happen to Sauron if he did had sex with Galadriel and produce a child? This:

I know Sauron isn’t a ridiculous "giant eye ball" in the books, he's just “formless” and “faceless” (invisible spirit.... "damned" and "reduced to impotency"?), but you get the idea. Amazing how it checks out.

Why did I mention Morgoth? Well, Morgoth end up bound to a physical form because he spent too much of his power corrupting Arda (the world). Sauron thinks he’s smarter than this, and, as far as we know, this was the only way in which he didn’t replicate his former master. He bound himself to the One ring, but it’s a piece of jewelry, not actually flesh/physical form.

Galadriel herself would have a good excuse, because no one would tell the difference:

“A blond Elven child? Of course is Celeborn’s, duh?"

“Rings of Power” won’t go as far as making this theory actually happening, but still, they can play with it.

[stay-silly621]

Look, I’m really trying my hardest to treat trans people the same way I would cis people but please understand how difficult that is when literally every trans person I’ve met has been the coolest person ever

[something-something-peaceful]

I’m sorry to all the heavily monogamous Lilia fans, if malleus’s parents survived he totally would’ve been in a polygamous relationship with the both of them. I don’t make the rules. And to all the polyamorous readers out there better hope you’re born a fae or malleus’s parents chill on the I hate humans thing.



[bowandbrush]

I walked into Goodwill.

walked out with a pair of genuine Sai

[bb-eb-db-bb-eb-b-ab-f-b-ab]

i’m going to ask something that no one is going to like. do we really believe kavik outlived yangchen

[jack-crow-lantern]

Mourning is over! Time to fag it up more than ever before.

[00arrow00]

Wait what if someone asks a Pansexual Objectum if they actually fuck pans and they say yes

[loganslowdown4]

Patton: Logan, truth or dare?

Logan: Dare.

Patton: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Logan: *takes a deep breath and nods*

Logan: *walks up to Janus*

Janus: *smirks*

Logan: Excuse me. *pushes Janus aside and kisses Roman*

{everyone except Janus breaks into applause}

[stealingyourbones]

Bones. Bones.

How have you NEVER HEARD of The X-Files before? Very popular 90s TV show. Very. Very. Very Popular. Next you'll tell me you haven't heard of Xena: Warrior Princess.

Yes Mulder/Sculley was a ship. it was Such a huge ship that the ship *coined the phrase shipping*.

that is all thank you for coming to my mini-talk, this has been a brief foray into Fandom History. o7

Simply said, I was born in the 2000s, I don’t think I’ve ever heard X files ever mentioned besides in passing.

When I replied saying I was offline as a kiddo I truly meant it, ya girl only had books, the outdoors, and art as things to do. I think X Files is some supernatural/alien type thing right? That’s why it’s “X Files” because it’s what would be in conspiracy theory type censored government documents???

With the “check back for bites” thing, like are the aliens like zombies?

And what it COINED THE PHRASE SHIPPING? That’s so rad I absolutely have to read the history of that, that’s so incredibly neat my dude holy hell

[foldingfittedsheets]

I desperately hope the person who just bought my Eating Out design on an apron knows they’re wearing a dirty joke.

[andi-o-geyser]

heh... purvan

[iwatcheditbegin]

If you voted trump or didn’t vote as an eligible voter , you do not get to scream “ fuck the patriarchy” during 10 minute version

[tariah23]

Oh brother

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

.

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

thinking about the way jack occasionally slips up in trying to use guidelights and such seventeen years after he lost his magic, angry at himself that the habit is still there

thinking about jack occasionally turning to share a private joke or laugh at someone’s expense sixteen years after his sisters death, angry at himself for being surprised anew that she isn’t at his side to hear it

[spacemancharisma]

not to be aggressively southern on main but ppl who think that singing with a twang and saying yeehaw to whatever beat they threw together automatically makes it a country song or even a country fusion………… this is simply not the case