#I’m basically there for emotional support

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

Plsss elaborate on ness

I’m going to assume it’s the part where I talked about Kaiser refusing to break up with anyone and Ness being the exception here…alright?

So let me just establish something first: I DO NOT SHIP, SUPPORT, NOR ENJOY KAINESS OR ANY SORT OF PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. This will be a post through the eyes of a Kainess (and Kaisagi, for that matter) hater. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

To start off, I would just like to clear some misconceptions first. Kaiser and Ness do not care for each other genuinely. Kaiser is more obvious, as we are shown direct panels of him studying psychology in order to manipulate someone (Ch. 261), and Kaiser often treats Ness as a dog.

Ness, on the other hand, is more on the delusional side. He doesn’t actually realize that he is being used, and Ness’ so called “love” for Kaiser is only a result of the psychological manipulation that Kaiser has put him through so that Ness believes that Kaiser is his savior. It’s not affection, it’s abuse and gaslighting that no one deserves to go through.

I often see people pointing their grubby hands at the panel in chapter 243, when they are both in the shower. They say “look, Kaiser is smiling genuinely there, meaning that he cares about Ness!”, which is an extremely invalid and frankly bizarre assumption to make.

Assuming something from a panel from a manga, where everything is deliberately written and drawn, is a dangerous move. We don’t even know why Kaiser is smiling; it could be because he’s having fun, yes, but it can also be because he realizes that Ness has fully become his dog. We don’t know, and I think Nomura purposely left this vague, so I don’t think it’s fair to use this as evidence.

Now, onto the main course. I once said that Kaiser has attachment and abandonment issues, and I still stand by what I said. The attachment issues can be seen in his childhood ball, which is often seen dirty and constantly patched up. In the anime and official art, we see that Kaiser still keeps his old and beaten up soccer ball despite his currently wealthy life style, still emotionally attached to this ball despite his undesirable childhood. He is also unhealthily attached to soccer itself, as it brings him joy to crush other people’s lives. Joining Re Al aside, the reason he went to Blue Lock for the NEL was literally to crush Isagi because of Kaiser’s attachment to soccer.

His abandonment issues mainly stem from chapter 293. Kaiser had just told Ness to find a new king and that Ness wasn’t useful in his life anymore; and yet when Ness passed to Isagi, Kaiser screamed out Ness’ name in rage (the panel is hilarious btw). Kaiser’s actions contradicts his words to Ness, as the moment Ness (unintentionally) abandoned Kaiser, he was furious and frankly even a bit horrified, as his current state (as if 296) is nearly depressed.

As stated before, Kaiser doesn’t genuinely care for Ness; he cares about his talent. He got far too attached to Ness’ potential, and the moment he fumbled the bag and Ness (once again, unintentionally) abandoned him, Kaiser’s abandonment and attachment issues began to show. Kaiser’s words of breaking up with Ness in all those previous chapters was because of how emotionally constipated Kaiser is. He thinks that he doesn’t care about Ness as a whole instead of only not caring about Ness as a person. Due to this, he “broke up” with Ness due to his own miscalculations and emotional stupidity.

So basically, if it weren’t for the fact that Ness had potential, Kaiser would have discarded Ness a while ago.

[reomikagekin]

Um so like can you please do alnst x Mafuyu!Reader basically Mafuyu from pjsk

Till x Reader – The Quiet Support

Till was always cautious, unsure of how to approach others, especially those he wasn’t used to being around. But with you, there was a calming presence—one that didn’t demand attention but still made him feel seen.

You didn’t ask for much from him, and you certainly didn’t expect any grand displays of emotion. You simply were there, quietly helping when needed, always considerate of everyone around you.

"You’re... okay, right?" Till asked hesitantly one day, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded softly, your expression remaining neutral as always. "I’m fine. You should rest."

He wanted to push for more, but something about the way you spoke—gentle, but distant—made him stop. You weren’t closed off; you were just... careful with who you let in. And that was okay.He quietly returned to his seat, feeling a strange sense of peace in your presence.

---

Ivan x Reader – The Silent Understanding

Ivan often watched you from a distance, intrigued by how effortlessly you navigated social situations, always there when someone needed help, but never truly engaging with anyone on a deeper level.

You were kind to everyone, yet there was a distance in your eyes that Ivan couldn’t ignore.

"You’re good at pretending," Ivan said one day, his gaze sharp as he caught you helping others without so much as a second thought.

You glanced at him briefly, your tone unchanged. "I’m not pretending. I’m just doing what’s needed."

Ivan was silent for a moment, contemplating your words. There was something about your dispassionate demeanor that caught his attention. You didn’t need validation, didn’t seek connection, but you still cared.

"You don’t let anyone in," Ivan muttered, his tone quieter than usual.

You met his gaze with a neutral expression. "It’s not necessary."

Ivan’s curiosity only deepened. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to understand you more.

---

Luka x Reader – The Calm Before the Storm

Luka didn’t know why he was drawn to you—maybe it was your quiet strength, or perhaps the way you could keep a calm demeanor in even the most intense situations.

You were always helping, always doing for others, but when it came to yourself? You shut off, your emotions hidden behind a mask of indifference.

"You’re always so calm," Luka said one evening, breaking the silence between you. "How do you do it?"

You turned to face him, your expression passive. "I do what’s expected."

Luka didn’t push, sensing that it wasn’t the right time to ask more. But something about the way you spoke—so detached, yet so present—made him feel something he wasn’t used to: an unease he couldn’t shake.

He couldn’t help but wonder if, under all that calmness, there was more you weren’t saying.

---

Dewey x Reader – The Honest Silence

Dewey had a tendency to tease those around him, but with you, he always found himself holding back. You were kind to everyone, but there was an emotional distance that made it hard for him to joke around like he usually would.

"You don’t say much, do you?" Dewey teased one day, watching as you helped a teammate with their task, your expression unchanged.

You didn’t seem offended—just uninterested in engaging with his usual antics. "I speak when it’s necessary," you replied, your tone calm but firm.

Dewey raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Normally, people would be more annoyed by his teasing, but with you? You simply let it slide. There was a strange strength in that, he realized.

"You’re not like anyone else," Dewey said, his smirk faltering slightly.

You simply nodded, offering him a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. "I’m just doing my part."

---

Isaac x Reader – The Quiet Care

Isaac wasn’t one to get attached to people easily, but something about you intrigued him. You were always kind, always doing your best to help, but there was something in your eyes that told him you didn’t care for the usual flattery or attention.

"You don’t ask for anything in return," Isaac said one day as he watched you quietly assist a teammate.

You paused, your gaze meeting his briefly. "I don’t need anything."

Isaac studied you for a moment, realizing that you were being truthful. You didn’t want praise or recognition; you just acted out of a sense of duty.

"That’s... different," Isaac muttered, feeling an unfamiliar sense of admiration for your selflessness.

You didn’t respond, simply offering a soft nod before returning to your task. And that was enough for him.

---

Jacob x Reader – The Compassionate Observer

Jacob couldn’t help but notice how easy it was for people to rely on you. You were always there, always offering help and advice, but there was an emotional detachment to you that he couldn’t quite figure out.

"You’re always helping others," Jacob said one afternoon, watching you assist a fellow teammate. "But what about yourself?"

You shrugged, your expression neutral as you continued with your task. "I’m fine. I don’t need help."

Jacob tilted his head, not quite understanding. There was kindness in your actions, but it was as if you had no real attachment to any of it.

"I think you do need help," Jacob said, his tone gentle. "But you’re not used to asking for it."

You didn’t respond right away, but after a few moments, you simply nodded. "Maybe."

---

Hyunwoo x Reader – The Calm in the Chaos

Hyunwoo often found himself in awe of how you moved through the world. You were kind, generous, and considerate, always putting others before yourself. But he could see the emotional distance in your eyes—the way you kept your emotions tightly guarded, especially when it came to yourself.

"You’re always so calm," he commented one evening, his voice quiet as he sat beside you. "How do you stay so composed?"

You turned to him, your expression neutral as always. "I don’t let things affect me."

Hyunwoo could tell there was more to your words than just that, but he didn’t press. Instead, he simply stayed by your side, appreciating the quiet comfort you provided.

"If you ever need someone to talk to..." he began, his voice soft.

You gave him a small, almost imperceptible smile. "I’m fine."

And Hyunwoo understood. You didn’t need anyone to fix things for you. You just needed space—and for that, he was more than willing to give it.

---

Mizi x Reader – The Silent Strength

Mizi always seemed like a ball of energy, constantly keeping the mood light with her bright personality and infectious optimism. But when she noticed you—so calm, collected, and distant—it made her pause.

She often found herself trying to engage with you, to get a reaction, but you never gave much away. It was both frustrating and fascinating to her.

"You’re so different," Mizi said one day, laughing as she nudged your arm. "Why are you always so... serious?"

You gave her a soft, almost unreadable smile. "I’m not serious. I’m just doing what’s needed."

Mizi’s face softened at your words, as if trying to read more into them than what you’d given her. She could sense your kindness but also the invisible wall you’d built. She wasn’t upset, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something about you.

"You’re like a... mystery," Mizi said, her voice full of curiosity.

You didn’t respond right away. Instead, you offered her a brief glance. "I’m just not like everyone else."

Mizi didn’t mind. In fact, she liked it. You had a quiet strength about you that spoke volumes without needing to shout.

---

Sua x Reader – The Silent Presence

Sua was often an enigma to everyone around her, effortlessly blending into the background while still drawing attention with her unexpected actions. She didn’t approach people, yet there was something in the way she watched you that felt different from her usual aloofness.

You were calm, distant, and there was a strange peace in your presence. Sua wasn’t one to engage in idle conversation, but when she found herself sitting next to you during a break, she didn’t move away.

"You’re... weird," Sua remarked suddenly, her tone flat but with a slight edge of amusement.

You turned to her with your usual neutral expression. "I’m not weird. I’m just quiet."

Sua studied you for a moment, her head tilting slightly. She wasn’t offended, not at all. In fact, she was intrigued. There was something about your dispassionate tone that pulled her in.

"You’re always so... unaffected," Sua mused, her voice almost wistful.

You met her gaze, your face still unreadable. "That’s the way things should be."

Sua didn’t push further. She liked the space you gave her, the understanding that was shared between you without any need for words.

---

Hyuna x Reader – The Quiet Resilience

Hyuna was everything loud and bright, full of energy and life. But with you, she found herself holding back, not because she wanted to, but because there was something different about you.

You were generous, always willing to help, but there was an emotional distance that made it hard for Hyuna to get closer, despite her usual touchy and playful nature.

"You’re so calm," Hyuna said one afternoon, smiling as she leaned back against the wall. "Why don’t you let yourself go a little? You’ve gotta enjoy the moment, right?"

You didn’t immediately answer, your gaze distant, almost contemplative. "Enjoyment isn’t something I need."

Hyuna raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sharpness in your voice. She had expected something softer, but your dispassionate response only made her more curious."You care about others," she remarked, her tone softer now. "I can see that. But why not care about yourself too?"

You shrugged lightly, your eyes never quite meeting hers. "I’m fine as I am."

Hyuna didn’t press you further, but something about the way you said those words made her heart ache. She didn’t know what it was, but she felt like you were carrying more than you let on.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here," Hyuna offered, her voice quieter than usual.

You met her gaze for a brief moment and nodded, acknowledging her words. "I know."

[nagichi-boop]

Why I Love Shadow the Hedgehog

So it seems a few of you actually wanted me to make this — thank you for encouraging me to express myself! Hopefully my thoughts are cohesive enough to follow. I don’t really have an order to this, so uhh…buckle up lol.

(In a way this is sort of a vent post, so if you’re here for good times, maybe this post isn’t for you. There’s a reason the PTSD hedgehog is my favourite.)

Spoilers for Dark Beginnings, Shadow Generations and Sonic 3 movie throughout the post

I suppose the overarching reason for why I love him so much is how much I relate to him. It’s a bit ironic that I love a character I relate to yet am so hard on myself, but maybe this is my brain’s weird way to compensate for my lack of self-love.

Shadow is a lonely, hurt person. Even before Maria’s death, he felt out of place and even saw himself as a monster. I feel that distance and emotional disconnect from others myself. I feel like no matter how hard I try to fit in, I am always an oddity. I wouldn’t say I prefer being alone, but it’s definitely easier. (I touch more on the idea here.)

Shadow lost his sense of purpose and his best friend in one fell swoop. I haven’t had something quite as intense happen to me as Shadow has, but when I was around 13 years old, I lost my friend group seemingly overnight because of a miscommunication. (TL;DR I opened up about being depressed/anxious and unbeknownst to me, my friend concluded I shouldn’t be invited out with the group for my benefit but didn't tell me she did this until much later, and by then I’d assumed they all got bored of me.) I spent the rest of my teenage years basically alone — I’d come home, go to my room and sleep, eat dinner and then retreat to my room again. At best I would be invited out once a year, but that was it. It really shattered my self-esteem and self-worth because I felt like I was unlovable. In hindsight, I think it was the side effect of being unknowingly AuDHD, so I had no support and was left with only myself to blame for not being able to maintain friendships.

As a result of what happened to Shadow (and also in part because of the autism I headcanon him with, but that’s for another post I intend to make), he became aloof and distant with others. Even with people he cares about deeply like Rouge, he would still prefer to keep his issues hidden. In Dark Beginnings, he only stops to think about Maria and have a panic attack when he is alone. And in Shadow Generations, he doesn’t talk Rouge after leaving Maria and she is only aware that he is upset because a tear of his hits her cheek. It’s clear he likes Rouge and trusts her, but he still feels the need to keep a distance. Part of that is probably his pride as the titleholder of Ultimate Lifeform, but part of it is probably a fear that history will repeat itself.

Again my situation isn’t the same, but I find myself having similar feelings. I have a few friends now and get invited out more than I did as a teenager (not that the bar was high), but I don’t feel close to anyone or really trust them. Unlike Shadow, I tend to mask by being bubbly (think Prime!Sonic), and if I bring up something that is important to or sensitive for me, I tend to say it with a tone that basically mocks it, almost as if I’m trying to minimise the hurt if someone tries to hurt me because of it? I prefer to just handle my problems on my own. I even stop myself from crying at a movie in front of people because I am scared of being mocked.

That’s not to say Shadow is always cold with people. In Sonic Prime, he helps Sonic, despite being frustrated at their predicament. And in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, Shadow attends a party, despite it being clear that he doesn’t enjoy them (it’s shown in both the IDW comics and Dark Beginnings/Shadow Generations). Why? Because he cares about Amy. He even ends up looking suspicious because he was trying to hide the surprise present he got for Amy and ends up going to a concert with her. He also compliments Sonic and Tails in the game, even though he’s not necessarily friends with them. And if you take into consideration the Twitter Takeovers (I’m aware they’re not canon), he has done this multiple times since and has gone shopping with Amy, too. Despite his trauma and his difficulty socialising, he still makes an effort to be cordial with them at the very least, but in the case of characters like Amy and Rouge, he has a genuine concern and kindness for them.

Whether or not you believe Shadow is autistic, it is undeniable that he is disabled. I may develop this idea in another post, but I’ll briefly cover it here. For one, it’s heavily implied that he has PTSD. Not only did he watch his best friend die in front him, but he also had multiple people gaslight him (Gerald, Eggman, Black Doom) in his vulnerable mental state. In Dark Beginnings, it’s implied that he has nightmares and he even stops himself short of a panic attack in the last episode. I’ve also mentioned in a previous post, but Shadow is also implied to be physically disabled because of his chaos energy, with his inhibitor rings and air shoes or more-or-less outright stated to be mobility aids. I won’t go into my issues here cuz I already feel like I’ve yapped too much about myself, but having the Ultimate Lifeform be disabled like I am feels so refreshing as representation.

I would be remiss if I didn't also mention Maria. In the games at least, Maria is disabled. More specifically, her condition is a dynamic invisible illness — that means it fluctuates and you can’t ‘see’ it. I mentioned it in the post I linked in the previous paragraph, but the way they talk about Maria’s disability in both Gerald’s journal and the game is such refreshing representation. Some days she can be more lively, some days she uses mobility aids like wheelchairs, and other days she is completely bedridden. Shadow loves her through all of this. He doesn’t see her as a sick girl, but as his dear friend. He doesn’t like it when she pushes herself, but his care for her is out of love, not pity. It’s just so refreshing to have a young disabled character in media spoken about in such a realistic way, especially in one I already love so dearly. And for the Ultimate Lifeform to view her as a best friend is just…chef’s kiss. (I know some people could argue Shadow is only friends with her because she is sick, but his purpose was to cure her — being her friend was not a requirement.)

Even if he shows himself as being cold and uninterested, ultimately Shadow deeply craves emotional connection. He may not be good at communicating it and he most certainly tries to push people away, but we have seen how deeply he misses Maria and the comfort she provided. He quite literally daydreams about her sitting with him and having her tuck him in with a blanket! She is one of the few people he felt comfortable being touched by and I think he misses that connection very deeply. I’ve never personally had that strong a connection with someone, but not a day goes by where I don’t imagine being held and comforted by someone I care about, albeit imaginary. I feel really uncomfortable being touched by basically everyone, but I so deeply crave that physical closeness with someone I love. I want to have a deep connection like the one Shadow and Maria had. I want to have someone important and to be important to them.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. It was supposed to be a post about why I love Shadow, but it was mostly me blabbing about my own issues (even though comparative to Shadow I’ve lived luxuriously). I hope this wasn’t dreadfully boring to read. I did try not to go too expositional on my personal stuff.

Maybe I’ll delete this at some point, idk.

[aspd-culture]

Hi! Hope it’s ok to ask this, I’m a person with aspd’s exception they are also my partner whom I love dearly I wanted to know from you all if there’s any advice you all have or anything. They’re genuinely the best person I know and it took a lot of trust to get to where we are now and it was worth every second I care for them a lot and I want to be the best boyfriend I can to them

(Due to the amount of links and to avoid formatting issues, I'm going to keep this post in plain text only. I apologize for the length of it, and the length of all the posts I'll be linking here)

Hi, it's definitely okay to ask and I really appreciate you coming to someone with ASPD because damn the google searches for this suck. I've got a couple posts on this that go into better detail than I could in one post, so I'm gonna put some links in here and if you need any clarification or have any other questions, feel free as always to ask them./gen

Links & more advice below the cut:

Firstly, one of my posts where I've described what an Exception is (always a good idea to know this so that you're aware of what that means from our side):

How to support a pwASPD:

Urges/possible replacement behaviors:

What "Transactional Relationships" Means for pwASPD (useful to understand how to avoid making someone with ASPD feel unsafe around you:

This one is short but it's something I personally wish more Exceptions realized (how high a value it means we put on you). I don't show you this in any way to put pressure on you but instead to help remind you in the moments where it might not feel like the pwASPD in your life cares (because sometimes it just doesn't come across properly) that they very, very much do:

Tips for dealing with ASPD symptoms from the side of the prosocial person:

Things that can cause ASPD Flares:

And that is probably already a novella's worth of information. But some specific advice I don't know if I've gone into before:

Do yourself and the person in question two huge favors in this and learn about flat affect if they experience that & try to learn to be comfortable with it, and get used to checking in with both of your emotions vs making assumptions on them. That goes both ways, because low/no empathy is a big part of most people's ASPD so they will very likely struggle to notice your emotions, and also because pwASPD have an emotional state that is VERY much misread by prosocial empathy. A lot of pwASPD (and no prosocial I've ever met) have this true neutral emotional state that is kind of the default, and I and many other pwASPD have learned the hard way that this true neutral (not content, just not feeling any emotion at all) reads to empathy as livid. Like truly pissed the hell off. This leads to something that can cause extreme friction between a prosocial and someone with ASPD: this persistent "I feel like you're mad at me" or "I can tell something is wrong" when in fact we are not feeling anything at the moment. Ask this enough times in a row though, or try to tell us what we're feeling, and suddenly the majority of us would sure be feeling VERY ticked off. I'm not saying don't ask at all - like I said open communication of emotions is huge between a prosocial and a pwASPD - but if they say they aren't mad but your empathy (if you have typical empathy) is certain they are, believe them at face value. On the low chance they're lying (most of us won't hesitate to tell you that you've ticked us off), it's probably because it is not something they feel able to discuss at the moment, and because most of us have low/no empathy, we don't expect you to guess how we're feeling anyways. If we don't tell you, we usually get that you don't know and won't like pin that on you in the way prosocials might.

Also, obviously pwASPD are not all the same so the biggest thing is to communicate in general. Don't assume everything I've said in these posts are universal because with a personality disorder, the spectrum of symptoms is wide - that's just kind of how it is when you're dealing with a disorder that affects every aspect of someone's life, actions, emotions, and thoughts.

[live-laugh-legolas]

Hi, i love your headcanons so much, i literally binge read all of them. Can you do how the Fellowship would react/treat reader who is menstruating? the lack of period comfort fics with the Fellowship is criminal. if you're not comfortable with that, then maybe just a reader who is going through mood swings? if not, totally understand. hope you're having a great day/night!

My friend. My fellow menstrual sufferer. I shall feed you don’t worry (thank you so much, you’re too sweet)

The Fellowship x menstruation

Aragorn:

-Probably the most relaxed about it

-Like. He’s a healer, you will receive some random tea that supposedly helps

-If you get cramps this is they guy you want to be around

-He’s got a fix for you

-Probably tells you about how “it’s all natural. It means your body is healthy and can create life” which frankly isn’t helpful

-Kinda ignores mood swings

-Possible snorts a laugh to himself but means no harm

-He can’t help it; you crying over random things is good entertainment

-Also; totally off topic but I just totally think he has probably helped deliver a baby before

Legolas:

-Ok so, on one hand elves are so old that they basically know about everything

-But

-I chose to believe they don’t really menstruate; or at least nowhere near as often as humans

-And Legolas is a sheltered boy with no mother or sisters

-I think it’s fun to think he doesn’t really know what is happening

-Possibly thinks you’re dying

-Mood swings? Cue concerned and confused puppy face

-Cramps? Sends you to Aragorn

-Crying over nothing? Probably gives you water or something he doesn’t know

-He’s trying

-But he may also know some elvish medicine that could help

-If he thinks to use it is the real question

Gimli:

-A girls girl in the form of a fuzzy short man

-I love Gimli so much

-Immediately to the rescue should you bleed through your trousers

-Very protective of your mood swings; you can’t help it and your going through a lot

-I think dwarves in general really embrace just, life

-And by this I mean they don’t have much need for modesty, a body is a body, it does body things

-So there is no stigma with him

Boromir:

-He’s a smart guy; he’s not totally naive

-Knows what it is. That’s about it

-Probably doesn’t have much experience with someone, you know, actively bleeding from the sacred hole

-He will probably avoid you tbh

-Snap at him once and he’s like “nope. I’m not gonna make this worse”

-Probably grumbles about it but if anyone else says anything…

Frodo:

-Knows what it is

-Doesn’t give a shit

-Like

-If you are in pain or upset obviously he will support you

-But otherwise he doesn’t acknowledge it

-If you want it acknowledged he will but if you don’t he won’t ya know?

Sam:

-Ok, so

-I know not everyone agrees with my characterization of Sam but I stand by him being pretty unaware of anything outside his circle

-He knows what periods are yes

-And he’s definitely not grossed out

-But of all the members he would be the most likely to make a “bet she’s on her period” comment

-He doesn’t mean it to be rude, it’s an observation with no filter

-Like; it just doesn’t occur to him all the time that people aren’t necessarily going to know what he means and that he may sound rude

-Very apologetic tho. He’s the sweetest little dude

-Always helpful and wants you to rest

-Makes lots of tea and wraps you in a blanket with a hot water bottle mixed in there somewhere

Merry:

-I could imagine Merry being confused and kinda taken aback if you snap at him

-But then if you tell him why he’s just like “OHH well why didn’t you just say that?”

-And then totally listens to any emotional rant with uttermost interest

-Probably does the thing where a guy will mimic your behavior. Like. “It’s uterUS” but literally

-If you are emotional he probably will be too

Pippin:

-Don’t let him have a tampon

-He may eat it; may just put it in his mouth to soak up drool until his mouth is a desert

-Will bring you the most random things to use as a pad/tampon

-He may be partly joking but he also is kinda genuine about it

-Possibly thought you could hold it and just pee it out

Gandalf:

-Bet he knows some sort of magic to help with pain

-If he doesn’t than what’s even the point of him having magic

-Good to rant to

———————————————————————

I’m definitely out of habit of writing so this isn’t my best

[typewritingyip]

The Arcturus Missions

Part Thirty Five - Reactionary Actions

Part Thirty Four

———

There are considered four basic types of human relationships; familial relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships. 

Familial relationships are formed through blood ties or legal connections, invoking both close and extended family. 

8% of pilots have this direct connection.

Friendships are defined as voluntary bond based on shared interests, values, experiences, and are often characterized by shared support and respect. 

87% of pilots among the MECHA database log between 1 and 4 other pilots in this category. 

Acquaintanceships and Professional relations are known to be limited in scope, often involving those you either recently met or those whom you spend limited or set time around.

25% of pilots consider other pilots at large to be professional relationships while another 15% consider them solely acquaintances.

Romantic relationships are formed through romantic attraction, respect, intimacy, and a deep emotional connection. 

93% of pilots who enter the program while in a romantic relationship, no matter the category thereof, are known to no longer have those relationships post testing.

Relationships are highly complicated and complex, dependent on the person or persons involved as a whole.

—

Leaving New Kaon felt like going on a cruise, maybe not a long cruise or even one on a smooth ocean but still a cruise. A respite that was more than needed, at least for Hound.

It was hard to picture that they’d only been there for around a week, it truly felt like a lifetime. Then again, missions like that one usually felt that way, especially with those outcomes.

Sunstreaker was on a different transport shuttle with Ironhide and his unit, while Breakdown was remaining in the city with the secondary unit for more monitoring of the system. Hound had tried to stay but now was sitting effectively in isolation on the shuttle. Though Megatron had not said a lot his actions had spoken louder than any orders. His commander was remaining on New Kaon as well; they'd likely return in a few weeks. The Prime’s shuttle was ahead of this one, taking the few wounded that needed more intense care with it.

Sighing slowly, Hound hangs his head, closing his eyes. 

The ship hummed quietly through space, it was weird how familiar the sound of a spaceship could become. It was oddly comforting, how the small sense of familiarity brought so much peace. Leaning back in the seat, Hound opens his eyes slowly, “You know, it’s unnerving how quiet you are.” He kept his voice low, staring at Mirage who was now sitting across from him.

With a smile, Mirage shrugged a bit, “Says one of the few mecha who can tell where I am when I use my outlier.” Hound shrugged and nodded, “True.” He smiles, his visor lighting up the shuttle a bit.

Shifting, Mirage stands and moves to sit next to him, “You feeling better Hound?” He almost wanted to sigh or worse, roll his eyes, but instead he nodded, “I’m alright Mirage, I swear it.” Kicking his feet out in front of him, he crosses his ankles comfortably. Mirage watched with a slight frown, “Are you sure?” Nodding, Hound looked over, “Of course, why do you ask?” It wasn’t obvious, not to him.

But to Mirage he could see the difference clear as day. 

“Your movements, physical mannerisms, they’ve changed.” He was frowning, “They changed before your crash but they're still different.” Hound’s heart raced, frowning down at his feet a bit before looking at Mirage, who shifted a bit, “You almost look more comfortable, more fluid in your movements, less stiff. Was that precursor? To the crash?” Sighing, Hound shakes his head and shrugs, “I don’t know, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice.” Rubbing his hands over his face, his head thumps against the wall. Closing his eyes again, Hound bit back a curse.

Shifting some, Mirage rests a hand on his shoulder, “Hound, what’s going on?” Keeping his eyes closed, he sighs slowly, “Back, back when I was a new pilot, I was different. We have classes of pilots, anyone can be a striker, that’s what I am now.” Mirage leaned forward some, “Now?” Nodding, Hound finally looked over, “Now, I first tested into Hunter class. Back then there were more classes than there are now, but most pilots are strikers now. It’s what we need.” Frowning, Mirage shifts again in his seat, “But you're all so different, does your class really cover so much?” Nodding, Hound smiled a bit.

Shrugging, he sighed, “Well, Breakdown is a tanker class, but the twins and I are all strikers. Or, well, before the crash I was just a striker. Now, I feel like I used to. More.. awake.” He flexes his fingers with a bit of a smile, visor brightening slightly. Mirage stared, nodding slowly, “Did you feel asleep this whole time?” With a sigh, Hound shook his head, “No, god no. I wouldn’t have been able to do half of what I’ve done had I been asleep. No, I just, I feel like me again.” He sighed, “No, that’s not right either.” Mirage chuckles.

Shaking his head, he tosses a hand out, “Forget it, I don’t have the right words for how I feel.” Hound looks at Mirage, visor still bright with a smile, and Mirage smiles, shaking his head, “Not even in another one of the languages from your home?” It almost brought him to crying laughter.

“Oh god, I can barely speak my native language let alone the two others I have certifications in. If I can’t explain it in English, then I can’t try to in Spanish or Arabic.” Mirage was smiling, a real smile that reached his eyes, and Hound tried not to swear again or shift uncomfortably. Glancing away, Mirage rubs at his neck subconsciously, “So, why do you know those languages over any others? Why not upload a communication chip?” Shaking his head, Hound shrugged, “We don’t have those on earth, you’ve got to sit down and learn it. These translators we use are new and you’ve seen how fallible they are.” Nodding, Mirage chuckles a bit, “Well, yeah. I was wondering why Jazz had a hard time back when he first appeared.” Hound chuckled, shaking his head.

For a moment, Hound thought of Perceptor, and the pilots still on Earth. Looking at the hands of his suit, he sighed slowly, “He tried to give us our best chance, Percy, he designed the translator.” Slowly, Mirage puts an arm around Hound’s shoulders, “He did and you’ll see them again, plus most of us have to meet him. Making it so that we can speak and grow close.” If anyone else were awake in the shuttle, they’d be cringing or gagging or making obscene gestures. Thankfully, most of everyone was asleep and the few that were awake were too focused on their own conversations. 

Nodding some, Hound sits back, “If we all make it out of this war it will be a miracle.” Mirage squeezes his shoulder lightly, “We know the feeling, very well but we’ve got each other. All of us, we’re fighting this war together this time.” Smiling, Hound nodded. Never before getting sent across the universe did he think he’d be thankful for giant aliens.

—

To be fair, he tried to stay awake to talk, he really did. Even with Blue on comms it didn’t keep him awake. Disconnected and passed out on his cot, Sunstreaker was dead to the world.

The shuttle around them was lively and it shocked more than a few mecha when Bluestreak was quiet for a while, at least until the visor on Sunstreaker went dark. Blue seemed to deflate after a few minutes, though was content enough where he was at.

Sunstreaker had his arms around Bluestreak’s middle, head resting on his shoulder, and was clearly asleep now. Bluestreak was trapped, but the small smile on his face gave all the clues that anyone needed. Whistling and cat calls were not unheard of, along with a share of obscene gestures. Someone even made the comment of how lucky the Paraxian’s seemed to get with the “hot aft aliens”.

Honestly, Bluestreak wouldn’t disagree. Looking down at Sunstreaker, who’d settled like that to talk and even when he disconnected, kept talking with him. Listening contently, not wanting to overrun the conversation or cut his train of thought off. Maybe he was lucky. His comm line was still open, glad to be able to make sure Sunny was alright even while he slept. Okay, maybe that was a little creepy but he was so small compared to everything else around them. Just being able to see that he was okay was comforting enough.

Bluestreak blinked as someone waved their servos in front of his face, “Primus,” Ironhide smirked, “Not quiet kid, well, don’t you look all cozy.” And his faceplates burned, clearing his vocalizer, “Slightly, what do you want?” And Ironhide’s servo came up to cover his spark, “Yelling at your commanding officer! What would Prowl think?” Blue couldn’t help but roll his eyes, muttering, “What did he think about the commanders running the humans ragged.” Nodding, Ironhide vents deeply, “Yeah, you’re not wrong there.” Rubbing at his neck, Ironhide shakes his head, “Sunstreaker feeling okay?” Nodding, Blue looks down at Sunny with a soft smile, “Yeah, just recharging.” 

Ironhide smiled a bit, “Well, that’s good. Otherwise I’d probably hear it from Prowl, again.” Bluestreak chuckled, “Yeah, I’m not surprised by that at all.” With a nod, Ironhide pats Bluestreak’s shoulder before heading back for the cockpit.

They’d have a flying stop in Iacon, a few days to re-supply before they were going back to their planet’s “tropical paradise”, as Sunny had called it. Elita and her unit would be setting up on the other coast, something about the system was attracting the Quints and they needed to figure it out.

Looking back down at Sunny, at the camera in his cockpit, Blue sighed. They needed to know what the Quintessons wanted, not just for the sake of Cybertron but for Earth. It was bad enough they were attacking a species that was well matched, to know that there were only so many suits and pilots on Earth to defend Sunny’s kind was killing him.

It was hard to know the person you, you might love; his spark spun funnily. Would be heartbroken if anything else were to happen to his planet, that he cared that much he’d be willing to die for it. Bluestreak had known the feeling once, back when Paraxus had been beautiful with its tall and shining spires. He almost felt that way for Cybertron, but nothing was quite like home. For Sunny, he could understand why it had shifted to Earth over the place called Florida, when you lost home it was easy to see the planet as home. Just for Blue, it was different.

He almost giggled when Sunstreaker started to snore, sitting back and putting his arm around Sunny’s back, closing his own eyes. The anxiety could wait till morning.

—

Iacon was beautiful, as always, and Hound was happy to be back. What he wasn’t happy about was the checkups that were scheduled in with a handful of the Prime’s medics. For him and Sunstreaker, it was hours before they escaped and the sun was starting to set already.

All Hound wanted to do was take a shower and be out of the suit for at least five minutes. Sunny was dragging his feet, Bluestreak having disappeared hours before and the poor guy was pouting. It was hard to hold his tongue, “How was your mission with Ironhide?” Sunstreaker looked up and started to walk more normally, “I got my visor shattered by Blue, I killed I think three quints, uh, swam in the ocean.” Nodding a bit, Hound smiles some, “Yeah, I heard about the visor, the new one looks good though.” Sunny hummed.

That was one of the things Hound could count on with Sunny, not having to make painful conversation, just quiet understanding. They walked together through the quickly darkening Iacon, plating scrubbed and scratched buffed, likely looking as nice as the suits had the day they came off of assembly. 

Neither of them expected to be facing Prowl this late in the evening, let alone be facing down his disapproving glare, “Shit.” Their voices combined in a way that only happens when you spend too much time around each other. 

“You would think I’d start to grow accustomed to that greeting.” His doorwings flicked, for what reason Hound didn’t know and he could guarantee Sunny had no clue, “Head inside, once you’re cleaned up Jazz wants to talk.” Hound barely spared Sunstreaker a glance, “I’ve been out of Iacon longer, I’m showering first.” He didn’t even want to think about what he and the cockpit of his suit smelled like. Almost gagging again.

—

Running a towel over his hair, Sunstreaker ducked past him just as the door for the bathroom opened. He barely sidestepped to let him past. Neither of them had expected Bluestreak in the apartment, but he and Prowl had left not long after they got their suits to clean. Though Hound will have to spend some time actually scrubbing at the floor of his suit, the assistance suit was currently soaking in their makeshift sink. 

It was a relief, to feel clean again, though his hair was starting to get on the longer side. Certainly longer than it ever had been, at least since he was eighteen. 

To be honest, he hadn’t noticed the state of Jazz’s own suit when he came in, too busy or maybe just too tired. Though he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the look on Jazz’s face, “Look,” Jazz held up a hand and Hound scowled, “Tell me what happened.” Sighing slowly, he kept a scowl on his face, “Fine, I experienced the crash after using my suit for almost forty-eight hours.” Jazz’s face dropped, without another look, Hound went to the kitchen. Jazz did not stop him. 

It took him only a minute or two to get together something to eat and a cooling pack for his head. Disconnecting was getting harder with the jerk to his coding, he could remember how painful it had been before but at least this wasn’t as bad. Sighing, he went back into the living room, thankful the door to the bathroom was still shut and would be for a while yet.

Jazz stared, biting his lip, “What was it like?” Shrugging a bit, Hound sat and started to eat, keeping his head down to hold the cooling pack there. They didn’t have enough water reserved for showers and ice, “It was an artificial seizure effectively.” Each time he chewed, his head would pound and his implants would ache, “Did you not go through it before? Back when you first got here?” Slowly, Jazz shook his head, “No, no I didn’t.” He sighed and shifted back, tucking the cooling back into the collar of his shirt instead.

“Jazz, this was my second one. I didn’t know it until it happened again.” And Jazz went pale, staring at his own food before pushing it away, “How?” Shrugging, Hound can only shake his head, “My best guess is being hybrid-class.” He knew Jazz would sigh from relief, couldn’t help it, but it didn’t make his current state suck any less.

Jazz sat back, “What are you going to tell the others?” Closing his eyes, Hound sighed, “That I experienced the crash, end story. They don’t need to know,” “But they might.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hound sighed, “Not now, not yet. Look, you didn’t crash. I was always going to be the most susceptible. They might not ever crash.” And the door behind them slid open as Prowl and Bluestreak returned. Both men shared a look before turning to the Cybertronian’s.

This would stay between them. Just one more secret to be kept from their allies. Another thing that could leave a crack in the foundation.

Prowl moves and sits on the couch, offering a hand to Jazz, who happily takes it and sits contentedly on Prowl’s shoulder like an odd parrot, his calculating gaze shifted to Hound, “I was told you crashed.” Tilting his head a bit, Hound shakes it just slightly, “I don’t think it’s like how you mean.” Prowl tried not to smile, “Then what’s your crash like?” Sighing, Hound looked down.

His head was pounding but the apartment in Iacon was cool and familiar, “When the crash hits, it’s the overloading of your implants with the main system. It’s the first and last time you’ll experience it because the system will adapt, overuse will ebb and you’ll be a stronger pilot for it.” “If you don’t die.” Jazz points at, pointing an accusatory finger at Hound, sighing he nods, “Yes, if you don’t die. If it doesn’t kill you. If you're able to handle it, it’s horrific, everything about it is horrible but once it’s done it’s at least done.” Another lie to go among the dozens.

Nodding slowly, Prowl sighed, “Alright, go ahead and get some rest Hound, you’ve earned it. You won’t ship back out until the lord protector returns to Iacon.” Bluestreak sighed and said something Hound didn’t understand. Prowl nodded and Hound frowned, “What did he say?” His helmet was still soaking for the time being, Prowl glanced over, “He asked if the prime and lord protector are fight, the answer is yes.” Nodding, Jazz snapped his fingers, “That’s why you called him Lord Protector instead of Megatron. Get all formal when they get mad?” Prowl looked like he wanted to roll his eyes to a painful extent, “Extremely.” Hound sighed deeply, “Great.” Looking down at his bowl, he stacked it on top of Jazz’s unfinished one before making his way to the bedroom.

All he wanted now was some halfway decent sleep, and to not think about the screaming match Megatron and Optimus Prime had had, and the implications of their argument.

—

They were supposed to be set up on opposite sides of the land mass, opposite coasts but the communication signal became strained not even five miles out and non-existent on the other side of the continent. Which made the point of the units splitting up useless.

So, now while Ironhide and Elita were setting up watches, the twins were avoiding each other and Bluestreak was nowhere to be found. Likely hiding from Sideswipe. Sighing, Sunstreaker sat down near the heater again, rubbing his face tiredly.

It was the middle of the night here and not exactly early back in Iacon either. Honestly, all he wanted to do was sleep, but not having others around while he slept had proven to all of them to be more dangerous than it was worth.

He wasn’t sure why he was avoiding Sideswipe, maybe because of Bluestreak who had wandered off for energon, now almost an hour ago. He knew his brother wouldn’t quiet understand, hell, he didn’t understand. It had all felt so normal, so natural. 

There was no label there yet, of course, but when their unit was out they were together up till the moment Blue needed to set up and then Sunny was off to tear the Quints apart. It was all still so new and terrifying, he just liked being able to be the listening ear for Blue.

Sighing, his mech sinks a bit in the sand, curled up near a heater, by himself trying to keep his eyes open.

Sideswipe was sat around the heater with his unit, laughing and listening to Chromia tell yet another story about the war. It’s weird, these things wouldn’t have kept his attention back home, learning of their pointless history while the war waged around them but this. When the peace had been found and they all only were now working together because of it, it felt far more interesting. Glancing over, he frowned a bit at Sunny, sitting all by himself.

He wasn’t entirely sure what had changed so recently, that they were now sitting apart instead of together. Part of it he knew was Hound splitting them up, ‘for the greater good’ his ass, it was to keep them all alive. But that was the farthest he could understand it. 

There had never been a time where he and Sunny were separated so often or for so long, not once. 

He could see the cafeteria, the long tables with the round uncomfortable seats, watching Sonny sketch in a notebook. It was before their parents died, before that attack that took everything from them, how the light came through the windows high up on the wall. The school had been old when his grandparents were alive, let alone now after dozens of battles off the coast. Plastic tray in his hands, a few friends were laughing behind him, thankfully making their way towards his brother rather than away.

“Hey, Sideswipe, we lose you?” He blinks and looks up, frowning a bit before shaking his head, “Uh, no, sorry Skids. Was thinking.” With a hum, Skids looks back to Chromia, “I say we just invite the pair over, not like more bodies will make it any colder.” She nodded and smiled, standing and patting Sideswipe on the back. He smiled some, looking up at her, he’d only been with these people for around a month and knew they’d sooner lay down their lives for him then not; “Hey! Bluestreak, Sunstreaker! Come on over, join the better unit!” There of course was the typical uproar from those busying themselves out of Ironhide’s unit but the laughter from his brother almost made him smile.

Almost.

What wiped it away was Bluestreak, who had now almost killed his brother twice. The sooner Sunny saw that that particular alien wasn’t his friend, the better. When they came over, Sides had hold of Sunny and pulled him to sit between himself and Skids. Bluestreak had stared dumbly before sitting with Chromia.

“So, tell me Blue, how’s Ironhide’s unit treating you? Oh, and how the hell you broke Sunstreaker’s last visor. Sides here won’t shut up about it!” He suddenly remembered that Skids had a big mouth, his foot met Skids leg with a practiced ease he’d gained from doing to Sunstreaker over the years. The resounding clang and yelp brought him satisfaction.

Once Blue got talking though, Sideswipe couldn’t help but lean in and listen, even as Sunny fused and tried to get his attention. Something was going on, and he wanted to know what.

Sunny was thankful he only had to ping Blue to get him to shut up before spilling their secret, mumbling something about being tired and reminding Sideswipe he hadn’t slept in over a day. Of course, he didn’t darken his visor till his brother had.

It was going to be a long trip.

—

In the last month and a half, give or take, it has been nice to just deal with the local issues on the planet instead of jettisoning off to some other part of the system or a neighboring system. 

The apartment was at a much more comfortable temperature than it had been in the last week or so with the thermostat on the fritz. The twins were apparently in some tropical paradise with their teams and Megatron’s unit had finally returned to Iacon, just as Optimus Prime had gone across the planet. Hound doubted it was a coincidence. 

Currently, Breakdown, Jazz, and himself were sitting together. Trying to enjoy the quiet conversations they really only got to have when Sideswipe wasn’t around or when Sunstreaker didn’t have Bluestreak around.

Even though Jazz cared for Prowl’s brother (though Hound didn’t think that the translation was quite right) he could be a lot of mech to go around even a group of them. He was honestly surprised Sunstreaker was so moon-eyed over him, but was he any different? Any time he could go out in the suit, he found himself at the bar that played music from home with Mirage of all people, the pair of them content to sit and listen.

“Earth to Hound, come in Hound.” A hand was waving in front of his face and he pulled back from it, Jazz smirks and Breakdown chuckles, “Welcome back to the land of the living, what were you thinking about?” Jazz couldn’t keep the laughter out of his voice and Hound sighed.

Before smirking and shifting his cooling pack, they were becoming a staple of his whenever home to avoid using up their limiting supplies, “The look on Knockout’s face the other day, when Breakdown asked if he wanted to join us in the market.” The grin on Jazz’s face was wicked even as poor Breakdown looked more confused than anything, “I was trying to be kind.” Chuckling, Jazz shakes his head, “Yeah, and flirting.” Hound snorts as Breakdown turns bright red, saying something neither of them understood which only made Jazz laugh harder.

To be fair, they wouldn’t be this giggly if the twins hadn’t perfected their still. So liquid courage was certainly a help in this.

“As if you are the one to talk Jazz! You and Prowl!” Breakdown frowns down at his cube, they were large but thankfully not full of gin. Or the closest that they could make to gin with their alien plants, “And I’ve never denied it! Just tried to keep the PDA on the down low, it’s a bit odd, dating a giant alien.” Jazz shrugged a bit even as Hound chuckled, setting aside his glass, this stuff was far too strong to be healthy. “What? I have, you all didn’t know for months.” Sighing, Breakdown shook his head, “Regardless, I was not flirting. Just trying to be kind.” Both Jazz and Hound hummed, unconvinced.

They lulled into silence for a bit, to watch the city, all thinking of their own relationships. Thinking of this place and how much things had changed in the last, six months, more? God, Hound wasn’t sure anymore. Frowning he looks down at his watch, now broken, just a habit to wear it still. Adjusting the cooling back to sit just under his implants, he sighs and closes his eyes. They all got lost in their own trains of thought, each trying to deal with their demons in their own way.

Jazz was the first to break his silence. 

“You need to stop talking to them about the treatment we got from MECHA.” Jazz’s voice was quiet, the apartment was dark but the sky line of Iacon in the night showed through the window, “What? Why?” Hound glanced over, shifting the cooling pack on his neck, “There are things you don’t know about Cybertron, who they used to be, who they fought to not be.” There was something in Jazz’s eyes that made Hound want to ask a million questions but he stayed quiet, “Our recent history sounds like their darkest days.” Breakdown rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Our planet is living ours.” Sighing, Jazz nodded, “I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that they're eerily similar.” Both Hound and Breakdown slowly nodded.

Looking back out on Iacon, Hound felt his throat tighten, “I’m not going to lie,” “No, you shouldn’t, but stop bringing light to the torture we faced.” He winced and closed his eyes.

How could being the only one compatible in his family be torture? How could wanting the freedom for their planet be torture? How could becoming the best part of his life be torture?

“And don’t listen to the voice they put in your head during testing.” Jazz’s voice was lower, he was staring at Iacon with such intensity, “It will ask you how it could be torture, to be a hero, choosing to forget every moment of horror we face.” His fingers brushed lightly over his implants, eyes watering.

Nodding slowly, Hound took a slow breath, “We were soldiers Jazz, our bodies haven’t been our property since we were eighteen.” He shifted and rested a hand on Hound’s shoulder, squeezing, “I know, but it’s time to take it back.” Jazz chuckled, “None of them can get to us here, we’re still fighting for our planet, but on our terms.” His gaze turned to Breakdown’s, “No one’s going to die, not of our crew, not on our watch.” Breakdown nodded firmly, eyes watering too, “We have to learn to live again.” Jazz looks between them.

They sat there, quietly for a moment, “We were tortured for the sake of it, weren’t we?” Hound’s voice wavered, tears forming, “I think so. Discovery or not, it doesn’t change that we’ve been owned, used, and abused.” He nodded slowly, even as the tears fell down his face, gasping once before covering it with his hands. Carefully, Jazz rubbed Hound’s back as the man cried.

He could love his life, love being a pilot, be proud of it even and still know, finally know, that how they did it was wrong. No wonder the Cybertronian’s stared at them every time they mentioned the work back home, every time they threw themselves on the live grenade, it wasn’t expected or needed of them here. They didn’t have to be the sacrifice for “the greater good”. The guinea pigs for the never ending, churning machine that was this war from hell. 

Taking a slow and deep breath, Hound wiped his eyes and stared back at Iacon.

It was a beautiful city, how the cities of his memory looked, before they were destroyed. Before every beautiful thing in their world had become nothing more than a resource. How everything had become expendable beside the suit. 

“Dozens of pilots tried to pilot Vortex before Aid came along, and they just kept sending them to die, for data.” Jazz nodded slowly as Breakdown hung his head, “They sent us to die, for data.” Sighing slowly, Jazz laid a careful arm around Breakdown, “We’re more than just a resource here.” He smiles a bit, “Joan had to remind me a million times my first year here, that freedom is the right of all sentient beings and what we endured. That was not freedom.” What it wasn’t didn’t need to be said, it was so plain as day.

Hound hung his head in shame, the pilots lived and breathed the propaganda. Unwilling, no, unable to open their eyes with Shockwave digging through their coding every— 

“It’s been six months.” It hit him and Breakdown at the same time. The same instant, “Actually, closer to nine now, but yeah. It’s funny how it’s easier to see when they aren’t digging through your brain every six months or so.” Jazz stood and went to the window, leaning against it to stare at the soldiers in front of him, leaving his glass almost empty, “So, what are you going to do with your freedom?” Hound and Breakdown shared a glance, looked to Jazz, then to Iacon before back at each other and grinning.

Standing, Hound offers Breakdown a hand and helps him up, the poor man stumbled slightly, having had more to drink than either Jazz or himself, “Jazz, we’re going to fight to live.” His smile was contagious and bright, “I was hoping you’d say that.” Jazz’s voice was light, lighter than it had been when they decided to drink that evening.

Fighting to live gave them more time, fighting for Cybertron gave them people they could trust. The more of both they had, the less likely it was that they’d die as soon as they stepped foot on Quintessa. 

———

A/N

HOLY FUCK 5k words, that is more than I thought it was going to be but I almost posted the chapter without the intro which would have made me very sad to forget.

So, there is a tiny time skip in this chapter as we saw, but next chapter I will be going over the events leading up to the chapter after, which takes place several months from now.

Honestly, I am kinda sad that I’ll be time skipping but it’s time, it has been a minute and I need to progress the story.

Is my plan set in stone? No, I think I have proved that with literally finishing the chapter and putting it up right after. But, do I know where I want it to go? Vaguely. Uh, I think..

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I know the twins part towards the end is rough but I have the hardest time with Sideswipe out of anyone.. I kinda know why but yeah, I need to do a him focused chapter soon.

Also blame the delay on the fact my mind has been eating itself, I got into an audiobook the other day and now am listening to the 9 book series. I have made a grave mistake.

TAGS

Thank you @keferon for this amazing AU, I would not have written god knows how many words of this fic without you.

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixillandjester @alek-the-witch @not-a-moose-in-disguise @goddessofwind8water @neurologicalglitch @dersereblogger @pixel-transformers @mrcrayonofdoom @wireplaces @twilightfreefaller @original-blog-name-2 @devilangel657 @robbin-u @miniartistme @starwold @tea-enthusiasm @valeexpris606 @celticdoggo @bird599 @agentsquirrelsgotrobots @aquaioart @thatwandercat @artdagz @seisha974 @halenhusky309 @leethepiper @cat-cassette @blue-wrens @sirassban @cosmique-oddity @garbageenthusiast @xervias @azulabutterfly @fryseem @spring-mc @echo-circuit @aghostsnail @wooblewooble @ask-glory-haddock-and-others @nonsscrapheap @magichats @iminahole247 @omgflyingderpywhale @thetrexartist @naaaafam @elegantmantaray @emichusai @waterlilykitty @diabolichare @ham4ponyo @osqindaxend @sunnyvibesanddoodles @ratatatata248 @ijustneedausernaneplease4444444 @sprook-children @fooolisher 

[bowandbrush]

I walked into Goodwill.

walked out with a pair of genuine Sai

[levemetal]

I got Procreate and gave it a test run with some silly AU sketches of course

So have Calamity SJ adopting Hong‘er! Ft. my silly calamity MNQ AU and it’s inevitable conclusion of atticwife Jun Wu in the second pic because I am no longer in control here.

SY tried to be the cool uncle, unfortunately YQY is the cooler uncle so he got the Feng Xin treatment. Binghe about to start beef with a child lmfao.

Ling Wen is new heavenly emperor and I ensure you she is as overworked as ever, but she does not care about heavenly officials marrying calamities anymore. First was YQY, and then Jun Wu. Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan are really not trendstarters here.

[horsegirlhob]

No one should take what I say to seriously. At the end of the day I’m a guy whose diet only consists of london fogs and turkey sandwiches

[isaac-regretz]

does the isaac regretz?

I have many regretz…… like not playing Regretevator or Phighting sooner….. /silly

[seveneyesoup]

3am airport wings hit different shoutout joe the fall out boy sound guy i ended up sitting next to at the diner for giving me his leftovers

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

[ectoplasmer]

I know I said warmshipping was going to be a workshopped name and I’d probably eventually find something better but what if. what if I was that speck of light in his life that made going through all the suffering and darkness worth it. what if he does make me feel all warm and fuzzy and happy and giddy inside and I make him feel like that too. what if we’re both just a comforting and loving embrace for each other to rest in in this rough world. what if we make each other feel and experience things we’ve never had before. what then

[dollishmehrayan]

# BATBOYS WITH A SUNSHINE!READER ── .✦ ( basically batboys with a optimistic reader )

a/n: this was requested by anon (here) but anywayss i think I’m gonna do the world tour thing after my winter inspired fics/hcs end on like February 28th! (Dw i’ll still do the world tour thingy in between) but yahh also I desperately need writer mutals + mutals I mssg daily like I’m a very kind person idm if you dm me at like 4 AM, tags: (batboys x fem!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Absolutely smitten. Your optimism is like a magnet for Dick, who thrives on positivity.

He calls you his “little ray of sunshine” (even if you roll your eyes at the nickname).

If he’s feeling down, your relentless optimism is a game changer. “How do you do that? How do you make the world seem so… bright all the time?”

Constantly teases you, especially if you’re being overly cheerful during random moments. “Are you seriously smiling right now? We’re getting ready to head to bed!”

But secretly, he loves it. Your energy balances his occasional doubts && insecurities. (he lovesss positive people who live in their own world)

Dick starts picking up on your habits leaving little notes of encouragement, giving random compliments to strangers and realizes how much better it makes his day.

JASON TODD ── .✦

At first, he’s skeptical. He’s not used to someone so genuinely cheerful, and he might think you’re putting on an act.

“How are you this happy all the time? What’s your secret? Coffee? Dark magic?”, “I just like seeing the world differently, I’m a poet in my mind.”

But over time, he warms up to your positivity and even craves it (to a point he gets sad if you aren’t around for more than 4 hours). You’re the light that cuts through his darker moments and more sulking personality.

“I don’t know how you do it, but you make me feel like the world’s not completely screwed.”, “what did you say?-“, “Nothing go back to sleep.”

He pretends to be annoyed when you try to cheer him up after a rough day, but he secretly loves when you coax a laugh out of him.

Jason starts jokingly calling you his “emotional support sunshine.” He’ll tell Roy, “Yeah, they’re like my personal antidepressant.”

Will protect your positivity at all costs. If anyone tries to dim your light, they’ll have to deal with him.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Finds your optimism so refreshing. Tim can be a little too caught up in stress and overthinking, so your energy is like a breath of fresh air.

He’s constantly asking, “How are you so happy all the time? Teach me your ways.”

If you leave him little notes of encouragement, he’ll treasure them forever. He has a drawer full of them and pulls one out whenever he’s having a bad day.

Sometimes, your cheerfulness makes him feel a little guilty. “You’re so good, and here I am being a grump.” But you always remind him it’s okay to have bad days.

Tim loves how you bring optimism even to his most chaotic moments. “Yeah, sure, we’re being late, but hey, at least it’s not raining, right?”

He’d be a little overwhelmed by your energy at times, but he admires you deeply for seeing the good in everything.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian does not know what to do with you at first. Your cheerfulness is a complete mystery to him.

“Why are you smiling? We are surrounded by incompetence.”

He pretends to be annoyed, but deep down, he finds your positivity oddly comforting.

Over time, he starts looking forward to your optimistic take on things. “Yes, fine, maybe there is a silver lining. Stop gloating.”

You have a knack for breaking through his tough exterior. If he’s grumpy, you’ll say something so genuinely kind that he can’t help but soften.

Damian secretly loves how you see the good in him, even when he doesn’t see it himself.

He starts to mimic your habits, like giving Alfred small compliments or trying to look on the bright side, but he’ll deny it if you call him out.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Bruce admires your positivity but doesn’t always understand it. “How do you manage to stay so cheerful in Gotham of all places?”

At first, he worries your optimism will make you naive, but he quickly realizes it’s your strength.

Your energy is a stark contrast to his brooding nature, and he starts leaning on it more than he cares to admit.

When he’s stuck in his head or doubting himself, you always know what to say to pull him out of it.

“You make it sound so simple,” he says after you give him one of your pep talks. But he smiles because somehow, you do make it simple.

You bring a sense of warmth and nostalgia into the Wayne Manor. Bruce finds himself more relaxed when you’re around, even in the middle of chaos.

He’ll never admit it to the others, but your optimism is one of his favorite things about you.

[valalice]

✮ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A GAMEGIRL .ᐟ ft. 𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼.

ʚɞ summary. a collection of streamer ellie headcanons.

warnings. streamer!ellie. modern au. fluff i guess? this is basically crack. ellie's chat can't give her a break. loser!ellie also if you so fancy it. talk about a strap on but it's nothing serious. ellie fights with kids for a living. wc. 1.4k

a/n. and the crowd BOOO'S... i know, i know literally everyone to ever exist on this app has their own thoughts on streamer!ellie, but i thought it would be fun to do my own thoughts on her <3 remember to support your writers by reblogging & commenting !

m.list | tlou m.list

࿐ streamer!ellie who grew to stardom during quarantine. much like everyone else in the world she had a lot of time on her hands, so what's better than increasing her addiction to gaming and worsening her already bad eyesight by staring at a bright monitor in the dark? it's not like she had much school work (she did) to care about anyway.

࿐ streamer!ellie whose fan base are her biggest haters that always clown on her. many of the fans who have been around since the start still joke about younger ellie, ellie who was in high school and still cringe when she started streaming. “so, yeah i graduated college. that's the reason why there wasn't a stream on saturday.”

[user000] did you get a degree in loserology?

[user001] bro has a whole college degree and still streams 💀

“i’m talking about my accomplishments and you guys are clowning me!?"

࿐ streamer!ellie who succumbed and adopted a kitten a few years ago, a ginger one at that. her face lighting up when she realizes she has yet to introduce her son to chat. taking off her headset (for once) setting it down on her desk, “i’ll be right back, chat.” leaving her room to find where the small kitten could be.

when she comes back, she holds the small ginger puff of fur in her arms with a cheeky smile. taking the kitten in her hands and holding him to the webcam “say hello to little bro, chat. haven't named him yet, was thinking we could do a poll.”

it was best and worst decision ellie ever made adopting a cat. the best because she loves the little stinker. and the worst because anytime she's on the chat is filled with

[user002] DONTTT CAREEE WHERES RICK

[user003] show us the child

࿐ streamer!ellie who has the worst eyesight ever. she wears glasses and still squints whenever she has to read something in game or the chat.

࿐ streamer!ellie whose desk is some second hand desk she got years ago. it’s gone from place to place with her and chat jokes that it's her emotional support desk. it's often littered with pop cans, various wrappers, notebooks and sketchbooks, figurines, comic books, scratched up stickers, and guitar picks. if she's lost anything her best bet is that it's somewhere on her desk.

࿐ streamer!ellie who swears she's not a scaredy cat when playing horror games, but the moment she hears any sound she's freaking out “chat, you heard that right?” "I'M NOT GOING FUCKING INSANE!" and when out of nowhere her character is getting chased her voice will pitch a little higher “HE’S CHASING ME! HE’S CHASING ME!” when the character ultimately meets their doom she’ll deadpan the webcam, “that game wasn't even that scary.”

[user004] whatever you say bud

[user005] that clip of u screaming like a little girl says otherwise

[user006] now we all know who's dying first in a horror movie

࿐ streamer!ellie who starts to get an inflation of views on her streams from clips of her being posted on tiktok (her audios have gone viral a few times). and who rolls her eyes at all the ‘wuh luh wuh?’ comments, “is the sky blue? are there forks in the kitchen? is the grass green? i love women, women love me.”

[user007] women may have we in it but we do not love you

[user008] is the women in the room with us???

[user009] BRO NO NEED TO LIE WE KNOW U DONT PULL

࿐ streamer!ellie who's mic blows out the any time she screams from a game.

࿐ streamer!ellie who is genuinely so shit at shooting games. chat knows that within the first few minutes without a fail ellie will get shot and killed, yet they still get hyped as ellie gets focused on the game. and when she does get killed, her hands will come down crashing on her desk, causing her setup to shake before stretching out in her chair stretching, letting her hands come on top over her headset before falling down over her face.

[user010] just load up roblox bro

࿐ streamer!ellie who hits a milestone and decides to do those ‘letting my followers spend my money’ it's very short lived because chat is just as unhinged and chaotic as her. “why the fuck is there a maid’s costume? fuck no.” and when her eyes rake over the cart to see that someone added a strap harness and dildo, “YO CHAT? THE FUCK?”

[user011] now thats just sad

[user012] AINT NO WAY

[user013] guys stop being mean :/ we all know it's just going to collect dust and cobwebs :/

[user014] ellie bitchless williams

࿐ streamer!ellie who enjoys doing more laid back and casual streams like building lego sets or setting up a new action figure. she’s done quite a few cooking streams which all end in disaster, “chat is there a huge difference between baking power and baking soda?” “i don't give a fuck if i shouldn't be eating raw cake batter, salmonella fears me.” “uh, should the oven be smoking like that?”

[user015] can't believe i'm witnessing ellie burn down her place in real time

or even once in a blue moon an outside stream.

[user016] ayeeee the gremlin is out of its dungeon

[user017] how does it feel to see sunlight again?

࿐ streamer!ellie who rarely post besides the casual spam of her stories, but is somehow extremely chronically online.

࿐ streamer!ellie who got banned from her mic privileges in roblox and later completely banned. all because she has no self restraint when arguing with little kids, “your avatar is ugly.” some random kid would say, “yo daddy is ugly.” ellie would bite back. and when she finds herself in yet another shooter esc game and a kid thinks it's smart to say "your aim is butt!" ellie’s retaliation to the critique is “that's not what your mom said last night you little fucker!” then shooting the kid’s character.

[user018] kid sounds like he's 8 MAX

[user019] ellie desensitizing these kids young

[user020] TO A CHILDDDD?????

[user021] bro can only get a kill if it's a child

࿐ streamer!ellie who thinks all her jokes are knee slap worthy, but her chat couldn't be less phased.

[user022] pack it up

[user023] 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

࿐ streamer!ellie who met you in a lobby when she's coincidentally not streaming, her team needed one more player so she shot her shot, “uh, hey,” she's totally cool right now, her palm totally isn't sweating off of her mouse “would you like to join my team? we just need one more player.” and she plays it chill when you accept “cool, cool. thanks.” but afterwards she put herself on mute and jumped out of her chair, all while her phone is blowing up with text from the groupchat.

࿐ streamer!ellie who tells her chat about it the next time she streams. “had a pretty girl on my team. i've never seen her, but i don't need to. i know it in my soul, it's my spidey sense.”

[user024] u sure u weren't dreaming???

[user025] didn't happened unless we have proof

࿐ streamer!ellie who hopes she'd see you in another lobby, but in reality it's probably a few weeks or months before she notices your handle in a lobby again, but she's always on the lookout for it. and when she does she thanks whoever is out there that she's streaming. she's solo playing this time so there's no opportunity for her to be on a team with you again, but she swears she could ascend into the heavens when you giggle at her wishing you luck in the game, covering her face from her webcam to hide that her face is turning bright red, "good luck to you too."

[user026] we all know she needs it

[user027] OKAY ELLIEEEEEE WE SEE UR GAME

“chat, i’m threw the roof. calling it know we're winning this.” ellie in fact did not win. she yet again got killed in recorded time, by none other than you. she couldn't even be upset over it “pretty and talented, damn.”

[user028] bffr u were her easy kill

࿐ streamer!ellie who by the end of it you initiate a conversation with her “i would apologize for killing you, but i just couldn't help myself.” “oh no, no. it's no problem. i’m shit at this game, it's all good.” "well maybe you could get better if we play together more?” and chat could just see the wheels turning in ellie’s head “uh—” her voice fucking cracked, “shit, yeah!” realizing she's getting a little too excited, so she's gotta tone it down “that would be cool.” smoothing a sweaty hand on her sweats. to say her chat explodes is an understatement.

[user029] WE ARE WITNESSING HISTORY

[user030] WINNERS LOVE WINNING

[user031] U BETTER DUST OFF THAT STRAP!!!!

[prettylonelys]

I am so happy for you coming to Europe 🥺 when will you take your trip?

thank you!!! i’m going in october with my friend!!!!!