#I’m helpless
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Beach day!!!
I’m afraid this person @mikurinkuwu made me unable to stop thinking about them. I used their design because I really liked their version of Miku and Rin! Hope to draw them a lot more.
#they put those two inside my head to do gay stuff all day#I’m helpless#thanks for this couple really they’re so cute#mikurin#hatsune miku#rin kagamine#girls love
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God I’ve been soaking wet all day!!! I got to see a friend who I know is always in love with me and I deliberately tease them. We cuddled all day as we caught up from my semester at college and I eventually wrapped them in my arms with a leg pressed against their cunt. I was so wet it was unbelievable. And I kept moving ever so slightly so their cunt was rubbing against my thigh.
My pant leg had a small wet spot it from their juices leaking onto me. I kept rubbing their lower back (cause I know it drives them crazy) and when they asked me if I wanted to fuck I chickened out and said NO!!!! AM I STUPID???
Idk but when I dropped them off at home I asked to see their tits and they let me!!!! I played with your tits and pinched their nipples for a few minutes. All I could think about was wrapping my lips around their cute pink nipples and leaving hickeys and bite marks everywhere. God I’m such a tease and so are they!!
They also kept trying to shove their fingers in my mouth and down my throat, knowing full well I have a bad oral fixation and a thing for hands…good thing we’re seeing each other again on Tuesday cause I might have to fuck them
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if you’re reading this i’m alive.
i woke up. showered. i didn't brush my teeth. made tea, forgot it on the side table. i drank it cold. cried. i told my dog that i love her. blinked at the ceiling fan, wondered what would happen if it collapsed on me. i thanked the walls for keeping me safe. screamed through the loneliness. i warmed leftovers, ate three bites. went on a walk. i wore headphones and made it back home before remembering to listen. avoided the mirrors on the way to the couch. i drank water for the first time in four days. didn't respond to my mother's follow-up text. i stuffed myself into bed, suffocated the sun by closing the curtains. cried. i cried so hard that i got sick, dry heaved over my unwashed comforter. embarrassed myself by feeling. i motivated myself to wash my face. couldn't avoid my reflection. // if you're reading this, i haven't had a day in years that felt good. my eyes are so swollen that i'm convinced that each time my heart breaks, everything i hold inside my chest redirects into those little pockets beneath my bottom lashes. i don't know how to let it out. I'm so hungry that i devour the littlest pieces of life without chewing. I'm so nauseous from hope. i haven't found relief. i'm uncomfortable and i know this means I'm not numb anymore. i miss being sad and being okay with it. to continue is the most bitter medicine. i dose it by the teaspoon while i watch my friends open wide. i hate them for it. i will always hate myself more. they tell me it will get easier. i don't know if it will for me. but // if you’re reading this,
i’m alive.
#toxic ex#toxic#i just want to sleep#i love you#depression#dissassociation#puffy eyes#cry my eyes out#cry myself to sleep#living with depression#i hate it here#i hate it so much#help me#i’m deprived#i’m helpless#i miss my bf#obsessive love#obslove#lovesick#heart break#toxicity#obsessive bf#actually obsessive#angel core#yandere#i love him
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i can only listen to something for about an hour before i’m like hmm. not the 1989 vault. and i put it on
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How does following work??? Is it like ‘your funny’ or like ‘your my friend now’?? Is it ok to follow random people or is it a friends only thing? How to not offend tumblr natives?????
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I may have followed some fat men on here for…uh… research purposes! Yep. Yep, that’s it. Research…. 😳😳😳
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every time i think things have gotten a little better they just get even worse and this is why i can’t stay fucking sober because everything sucks all the time endlessly and how in the FUCK am i supposed to not wanna drink about it and of course ive got other coping mechanisms but ive lost so so so many over the years either by recovering from something like ed or self harm (kinda) or not being able to look at things that used to mean the world to me without a painful aftertaste and im tired dude. i’m fucking tired of loosing all my friends and my supports and everything i had to cope. and it’s not really that i ever lost the friends, it’s that none of them are okay w each other and only okay w me and i can’t even mention my best friends in front of my other best friends without second guessing mentioning their name and how it will make the vibe and i just. i didn’t have anything to do with ANY of this. all these conflicts happened outside of me and only involved me because it’s between two people o love. but i guess it wouldn’t be the first time this shit happened to me, or the second ,or the third, or th
#this is however somehow both the worst one and the one that is least emotionally effecting me#or at least outright#me five years ago would have been self harming like mad to deal w this#but i’m not doing that#and i’m trying SO HARD not to blame myself like i did before#i still do but i know it’s not logical#i’m helpless#there’s nothing i can do#i’ve done everything i can#and i will keep trying#but i know deep down i didn’t start this and its not my place to end it#so i’ll be the quiet support on both sides just like i always am#i’ll be the attempted peacemaker until they decide they don’t want that anymore#which it seems at least one of them has#i don’t know anymore man#i don’t know#what is it about me?#why does this keep happening?#i have nothing to do with it any of the times like it’s ALWAYS something between them or between them and a third party but never with me#and yet i’m left trying desperately to pick up the pieces and mend the friendship of my best fuckjng friends#i’m tired man
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I fear if I was Orpheus I would look back. Cause if I call the girl I like at 3 am on a random Tuesday to see if we’re still friends I would so look back to see if the love of my life was still there
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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Bae.
Chapter 23: The Spies
Din Djarin in every episode of The Mandalorian
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going fucking. INSANE with thoughts of taking care of curly post-crash.
like on one hand idk bout y’all but i would immediately put him in the cryostasis pod so he doesn’t develop any infections and doesn’t perceive any pain???
but also. imagine the tender moments.
insisting on helping anya take care of him so she never even has to ask jimmy.
little by little you take up all the duties with pure concern and selflessness to the point where she only comes in to help with diagnoses and wound dressing.
you spend almost all your free time there, just you and him alone.
sitting and resting by the cot. even falling asleep by it just so he’s not lonely.
rambling to him or playing music so he can focus on something, anything other than the pain.
making a way for him to answer simple yes’s and no’s so he can communicate somehow, have some form of free will.
fashioning him an eyepatch so his eye isn’t constantly strained.
tearing up spare bedsheets to give him new bandages.
halving the painkillers to make them last longer— yes it’s only dulled instead of fully numbed now, but it’s better than falling off a cliff into unending agony.
stroking his covered cheeks and jaw and kissing his forehead with ghostly gentle touches. you doubt he can feel it at all.
insisting he’s still in there even when everyone can’t see him the same.
joking through tears about missing his handsome face and hair and hands.
sobbing through a confession and hearing his choked cries in return.
“it’s all your fault but you still don’t deserve this.”
outside of the medbay you’re ruthless and deadly serious, spurred by a desperate need to avoid stupid mistakes and increase your chances of survival. whatever’s left of who you were before this tragedy only peeks through when you’re with him.
caring for him is representative of your own hope, that there’s a life after all this is over. once you stop trying the crew is all but doomed.
#listen LISTEN. listen. i know. i know i know i know this goes against the point of the story.#this goes against the poetic irony of him being helpless after failing to take action.#i’m a hypocrite by writing this.#but this game is giving me a LOT of thoughts and feelings and i need to get it out somehow.#i usually hate angst but the expertise of the story’s EVERYTHING is ripping it out of me.#so to all the sad degenerates like me enjoy#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mw curly#curly mw#captain curly#grant curly#curly x reader#curly x you#captain curly x reader#captain curly x you#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing angst#my writing#my stuff
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my little sister does not feel safe at her own summer camp because of a group of kids who are openly and loudly anti zionist
my little sister does not feel safe at her own summer camp because she is jewish
MY LITTLE SISTER DESERVES TO FEEL SAFE EVERYWHERE SHE GOES
#and i’m all the way across the country#i can’t protect her#i feel so helpless#jewblr#jumblr#antisemitism#antizionism is antisemitism#anti zionisim#jewish#am yisrael chai
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Interrogation/torture scenes where Whumper is just as gentle as they are cruel.
Their voice is soft even as they slide a serrated knife beneath Whumpee’s skin, methodically drawing out screams. Between rounds, they crouch on their heels as if calming a scared child, tilting their head to peer underneath a sweaty curtain of hair.
They ask guilessly, as blood drips steadily from the knife in their hand, “Should we try this again?”
#Whumpee’s hitched sob hearing those words over and over until they give Whumper the answer they’re looking for#even if it’s a lie#basically Whumpers who act like they’re dealing with children#it’s so demeaning#it makes Whumpee feel helpless or hysterical#as if they’re the one who’s doing all of this to themself#even when Whumper is holding the knife#the layers to the torture I’m telling you#that’s the good stuff#whump
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i feel trapped in some kind of wonderhall, i cannot get him out my head
#toxic#lovesick#angel core#obsessive love#i just want to sleep#i love you#i miss my bf#obsessive bf#obslove#actually obsessive#im stuck#stuck in love#i’m helpless#i need him#wonderhall
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So the Lion was just like. Full on infantilizing her, huh
#the way the winged lion treats Marcille makes me sooooo I’m sooooo#he makes her feel so small so helpless so reliant… the abuse metaphor of it all…. aughhhhh
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Lore keeps a baby (out of spite).
#star trek#star trek tng#tng#star trek the next generation#the next generation#lore soong#data soong#worf rozhenko#worf son of mogh#beverly crusher#star trek lore#star trek data#star trek worf#star trek beverly#I realize that this is very self indulgent and I also don’t have an explanation for how he finds this abandoned baby#but I’m a sucker for this kind of plot#give me Lore processing his own childhood trauma while having to learn to care for a helpless newborn#babies are the worst example of the fragility of organic life but too bad because he grows attached to this one#give me no one on the Enterprise trusting him with the baby for a second despite all the growth he goes through#give me Data becoming his advocate and advisor and filling out that uncle role with zeal
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