#I’ll try and do better in the future
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Hi! I know you probably don't want art requests, but I absolutely LOVE your art and would love to see Richie in your style if possible <3
You’re wrong anon I’m very happy to do art requests hehE
Here is my best attempt at the baby boy
#I wont do evERy request I may get (at least not consistently) but I am very happy to recieve them huhuhu#maybe when I need something to draw I can pick some out like paper in a hat#richie lipschitz#I am NOT GOOd at crazy hair so all I can do is ask for forgiveness#I’ll try and do better in the future#Hatchetfield#NPMD#nerdy prudes must die#digital art#digital drawing#art#drawing#fanart#Starkid#//Ask#//Art Request#Hatchetfield fanart#//Bird mail
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21/6 🎉🎉
#fanart#kitos art#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#happy birthday till#I think it looks so mid but I do not have enough brain power to like#try and fix it#auhghhf#I’m so sorry Till I’ll do you better with a future project#it may take a few days though
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[Mii Maker Music]
!!Find the palette in this thread!!
#my art stuff#beetlejuice#cartoon#toonjuice#digital art#bugs#emoji#I made my own brush for the bugs so I can use them in the future#I’m trying to make art more enjoyable for myself and that means making it much less complicated and take less time#so I’m hoping to use this brush more in the future when drawing beej#or things in general#I’m getting better at lightning the weight I put on myself with my art#but it’s an upphills battle and I am STRUGGLING#I’ve been using this eene inker randomly for a while now and it’s making art so much easier to do for me somehow#but it looks so disgusting in my art. not cus it’s an ugly brush. I think it’s really nice-looking actually#but I have such a strong need for all my art to look clean and for every line to be intentionally put where it is#I have a tendancy to go in and fix singular pixels in EVERYTHING when I draw. even if just to make it intentionally look unintentional#but this brush does it on it’s own and I haven’t felt this relaxed while making digital art in MANY years and it’s STRESSING ME OUT#but it’s good that I can relax. That’s the goal. I want to be able to rnjoy drawing again.#The biggest hurdle is my autism hating change but once I’m past that I know I’ll be right as rain#in the meantime I hope people can still enjoy what little stuff I mannage to crank out randomly#also don’t ask me what the style is. my hand just went off with the “whatever just get it down real quick” mentality#I really need to draw the sweetheart more… I say when he is all I draw besides myself anymore-
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Lat 🖋️
#I feel like the panels don’t really go together#and I realize some of the dialogue doesn’t make sense#but yknow….I’m just kinda proud to get something out#I feel like I had a long day haha#glad I was still able to draw something#and this wasn’t really related to anything. I just like doing these with characters#random comic strips/writing scenes#helps me get to know them better I think#I realize my blog isn’t really centered around any few characters?#I mean there’s definitely some characters I draw more than others#but I wanna develop my ideas about them#who am I kidding ive been trying to do this forever haha#at least you guys like the art so slow n steady I guess#I’ll get to wherever I wanna be someday. I’m still young ig#faith is key!#if ur reading this rn (u a real one if you actually read allat???) have some confidence in your future#that sounds very cheesy and overused but it’s true. I believe in u<3#hetalia#aph baltics#art#aph latvia#my art
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#everything’s fine and I’m fine I’m just saying this to say it rn#I don’t know what I would choose to do if he WAS still alive and I COULD still report officially#but a large part of me is really really glad that that mayor is dead. and I don’t ever have to hear him or see him at events or feel his#unusually long weird fingernails and iron grip while telling me to smile for pictures ever again#a part of me would love to confront him#but most of me is just glad he’s gone and can’t scare me or make life hell for my parents ever again#he never should’ve gotten away with all the things he did for so many years. but he did.#now that we’re here in the present. it’s a gift to get to move on from it knowing he’s not still out there at least#he was a gross greedy person with police and government power and never should’ve had those positions for so many decades like he did#but that being said. he can’t ever speak to or touch me again.#I’m not grateful now. I wasn’t grateful then after he stopped pretending either. but I’m glad I get to walk away and never live near#any subdivision or building or anything else with his name or picture#ever again. and he’s never able to touch another child ever. good riddance. you gross greedy poor excuse for a public servant.#now I’m gonna go try to write some of what I’ve learned into a fic to help my future self and others#who do you think came out on top at the end of the day mayor L?#I came out of this with friends and kindness and gentleness and healthy rage. you died just as greedy and fake and paranoid as you lived.#I hope you got better towards the end. for your wife and family’s sake.#I get to protect others from people like you for the rest of my life. and I’ll win.#because I deserve it and every current kid deserves it too.#shh katie
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I can’t think of a funny caption for this . Sorry not sorry . Yoga
#looks to the moon#rain world#I was worried while making this that it’d be a case where i try a new style#And the first drawing goes SUPER well#But everything after that is shit#So I’m pleasantly surprised by how this turned out!#Originally she was going to be in a more crescent shape#with the moon outlining her entire body#Maybe I’ll do something like that in the future#But i wanted to do something more dynamic kinda#Sorry for the ramble! I’m just happy#also click for better quality
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ok yk what. now that i’ve had some time to process nghy canon, considering the current pacing of gen retcon, i think their next step is as ✨clear as day✨
i really like seeing them happy together, but i truly do think that they should divorce and either live the rest of their lives as single besties; partners in hero/heroine-isms, but better off as just friends, or go their separate ways for a bit and get back together when they’re a little older and wiser, staying together for good this time around, as each other’s first and last boyfriend/girlfriend
#‘haven’t you had quite enough of pushing your divorce agendas??? like with lxl????’ no. never.#idk i think part of their charm was nagisa’s patience and genuine earnest love for hiyori#and hiyori’s determination to achieve her goals of becoming a true heroine in every sense of the word…#but the current pacing is kinda… um. i really love how nghy is now truly canon ofc. but… it feels too rushed?#like they’re just checking off a box on a ‘relationships to go’ checklist?#and nagisa’s sudden second confession? in a throwaway line? what was that all about man… when did that even happen? excuse?#i think it’d have been more meaningful if hiyori was the one to confess without any prompting (to lead to their relationship)…#and. uh. don’t take this the wrong way but… noontea seemed a little peer pressure-y to me.#it kinda felt like juri and chizu were pressuring hiyori into getting a bf… it’s been eating away at me ever since i tried to tl it. but.#…idk. point is. i think a relationship built on those foundations (peer pressure/fomo and a suddenly persistent guy(???)) is doomed to fail#and so i think nghy should divorce. maybe they’ll reconnect romantically in a few years#(fulfilling nagisa’s agreement to be hiyori’s ‘last bf’ as well as having been her ‘first bf’ during their first try at a relationship)#or they could just be besties till the end of time; having been each other’s hero and heroine once upon a time#ik hw doesn’t do breakups of their main couples (not since nakimushi kareshi eons ago i think…)#but i think they should give it another go for nghy. maybe it’d make their love story a little more compelling#and maybe we could all unite under the cheers of hoping that ng and hy get back together in the future as more mature adults…?#idk i just. think the ‘right person; wrong time’ trope could work for nghy#like how it went in sukiuso/heroika with nagisa’s failed confession#even then they were the right person for each other; it just wasn’t the right time for them to date (personal goals/long distance/etc)#so maybe. this time ‘round even though they’ve started dating circumstances could still pop up here and there and maybe…?#…but idk~~~~~~~~ maybe it’s just the 5am thoughts or something that’s finally putting my incoherent trains of thoughts into words…#point is!!!!!! the current pacing is awkward!!!!!!!!! nghy deserve better!!!!!!! and their love story needs to be treated with more care!!!!#idk are hw trying to speedrun nghy for h10w bc nghy’s. like. a mix of different features of their previous couples#which would make ‘em the perfect couple to bring h10w together(???) or something???#but idk. im still really really happy the nghy is canon but. there are some mixed feelings here and there too…#idk dudes this has gotten way too long for its own good so ig i’ll stop here…#live laugh love nghy canon but… i still think they should break up for *at least* a year or so to reasses their relationship#sorry nghy… it’s for your own good i swear… i truly want you to be happy together!!!! i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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wayment… i’m GLAD i don’t understand all that crazy shit ´- ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-
#like waaaaaiiitttt.#it will never make sense to me bc it literally doesn’t !#why torture myself trying to understand a million and a half ways#why have i wasted so much empathy & time & space &#like who cares…#the way these people live. is not how i am going to live.#when i want your results i’ll take your advice type beat#hoarders & enablers & abusive alcoholics & shopping addicts &#i just. do not want to associate or be a part of that#why would i literally care how any of them think.#family means nothing on its own#these people around me#past present & future#coworkers and old friends and neighbors and grandparents and cousins and#i don’t want to be like any of it.#i never needed them to like me or any of that. i just wanted to understand why they do what they do#and honestly i never will.#the way my trauma shaped me is just simply different than how it shaped others. and that’s okay#it is no better or worse. it is merely unintelligible to me#like what is happening in their heads. i can’t keep googling how codependents think and shit. i can’t care#it’s so crazy. like you are speaking a different language to me. it just sounds disappointing LMAO#but i pray for a door to appear#whenever you’re ready to open it.#and i pray for more doors to appear for me forever#i hope i continue to grow forever and ever.#i need to change the soil for now. not the seed#there’s always room for growth & i have accepted its forever#i just never want to understand the way some people think. i mean i am an inherently curious person..#but it’s just too baffling to actually fathom it#i can’t grasp the fathom
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#Okay so tw cuz im gonna rant about suicide#so back in July I planned on killing myself today#I told myself I needed to try n get better n if I couldn’t that was it#and I’ve tried I really have#and I’m obviously still struggling but not to the extent I was#like I’m depressed n my ed is getting worse#but I’m finally hanging out with D n she’s just so much fun to be around#im calling my bestie more and she sounds genuinely happy to hear from me#im doing a bit better with my parents to n im seeing my cousin more who I’ve missed so much#I have plans for break for the first time in years#im finally getting piercings#it’s crazy cuz even just 2 weeks ago I didn’t think Id be ok today#but I am like today isn’t gonna be another attempt I’m gonna make it#and that’s wild to me bc I was so bad over the summer I was constantly debating it that’s why I set the date#And I don’t think I’m fixed and there’s a big chance I’ll attempt at some point in the future knowing me#but right now I feel like I have a reason to try and I haven’t felt like that in a long time#okay I’m done now just wanted to say that#screaming#tw suicide#tw suicide mention#kinda
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with every act of self love i hug my past self and give him reason to keep going
#i dunno i’m feeling things i’ll try and spare you all the thoughts#i was gonna make a post saying ‘i need to go back in time and hug my younger self’#but this is how you do it right?? you do everything you can in the present to make up for all the shit you subjected yourself to#or were subjected to by others in the past#and it will get easier even as it gets worse it will get better#and maybe one day i will be the past self that i look back and feel such pity?? sorrow??? for#but i can do everything i can now to forge that future me into someone who is loved by himself#sorry bit uhh bit deep for not even that late night tumblr posting#just bare with me it’s important i do this every once in a while#ezra’s real life rambles
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gloomstalker assassin haima
#by god does it fit the vibe#not with how druidic ranger tends to lean though#MONK IS SO IMPORTANT TOO AGH#i’ll have to play a run with it eventually#the more i think about it the more i love it like narritively#i also wanted to try a solo run sometime and this build might be better suited for that#future simon.. THINK ABOUT IT!!!!#simon says#EDIT. NOW IM CRAZY ABOUT IT WHOOPS AHAHA#that whole philosophy of distance as a means for control#and range letting you carefully and accurately set up a shot#as opposed to getting up close and personal with melee#plus bhaaly boys whole thing with daggers#something something again that idea of distance#can’t spin out and attack someone by accident if you’re chilling in the bushes 30 feet away#edit 2 do arrows count as piercing#edit 3 THEY ARE. WE’RE IN BUISNESS BABY#edit 5 now i’m talking myself out of it with rogue/monk favoritism#the build for my fictional video game oc is IMPERATIVE it’s got me weighing pros and cons rn /j#i leave this for mornjng simon who will either continue the nerd debate or think i’m bonkers
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#so much of my fucking life has just been waiting for shit to get better#and i wait and things get better but other things get worse and i just have to wait again#and everytime i try to work towards improving something i’m made fun of and it just falls apart#i’m so tired#but i’m gonna keep waiting bc wtf else am i supposed to do#i want a hug#someday i’ll turn 18 and i’ll move out and i can decide what to do with my life#just 3 more years#just waiting for the future bc that seems like all i can do ig#life is fine rn but. god what am i doing
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Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)
#my back and shoulder are killing me and I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and stretch and I just hurt so bad#so I’m gonna go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that#I’m excited to sleep hopefully a lot and hopefully really well bc 1) weed. 2) took sleepy cough meds to try and mooch extra pain reliever#out of meds in my cabinet. 3) took a back and muscle pain Aleve (even tho I hate taking pills and it took me like three whole min to get it#down my fucking throat. 4) tired from actually using my brain and anxiety from work tired#5) period tired and chronic pain tired#like guys my brain and my body are both exhausted and the idea of getting up tomorrow and doing any of it again makes me miserable and I did#nothing but sit at a computer for three and a half hours that’s itttttt#like doing two week road-trip then non stop either emotional or physical shit every day until my first day at work#like I’m already setting myself up for this to be the summer of the grind#gonna make a bunch of money (and spend too much and blame it on the summer time and needing a little treat every time I venture out into the#heat or work a day or do anything at all) and then save a bunch all fall winter spring and once it gets colder and I feel like I can handle#my job more I want to focus on how to make moving out happen. like I need to figure out if maybe there’s somewhere I want to live that has#an Office Depot I could transfer to cause office depots are everywhere and maybe that’s an added way for me to figure out where I want to#move#hmmm okay I’m gonna lay in bed on google maps looking at Office Depot locations in New England and I’m just gonna daydream and try to fall#asleep and I’ll look at / add to my Pinterest board of house and apartment inspo#going to think about the future because I want to live !!!!#anyways yeah this is the summer of being miserable and spending all my money on bullshit and daydreaming and disappointing my mother#and also the summer of my weed tolerance doubling forever until I’m back to smoking constantly to the point where I’m making myself sick and#then I’ll get sick of smoking weed for a bit and that’ll lead me into saving money again#or force me into a tolerance break where I stop buying weed#either way I’m going to smoke all summer it’s gonna be weed and sweat and fresh fruit and laying in my room during all of my days off and it#it’s gonna suck and I’m gonna be thinking about my dad the whole time and it’ll be depressing and isolating and lonely and I’ll come out of#the summer recentered and motivated towards big goals again like I always am#and then I’ll crash and burn next spring as always. cycles continue forever thank u seasonal depression.#I want to grow up and mature in the ways I deal with myself my health and advocating for my mental health I feel like I need to grow up a#bit so I hope I do that and it feels good. I hope I make friends and I can daydream about the future every night and my room will smell like#weed and incense and sweat and love and tears and it will be incredible
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Okay I’m completely rethinking what I want to do in university, my application is already away but I can change it in July but if I change it then that’s my final decision
I really love film and tv, I’ve applied for film studies but I’m thinking it’s a stupid decision now. I know I’ll get the grades for basically anything I want, so it’s not about grades. It’s just now I’m thinking about doing law or criminology instead, or maybe social policy and human welfare. It’s a huge difference from film, but I think it’s a more sensible option. Everybody says doing something like film or art is a waste, maybe it is.
If I do law or politics then It will be easier to get a job and it’ll mean I won’t be jobless and have wasted a degree and be thousands in debt. But idk
#crisis#I don’t know what to do#my future is so uncertain rn#I have exams tomorrow#and for the next month#these are my final exams and are basically what tells me if I’ll even get into university#I know I will#but what do I do now#I’m so confused#maybe it’s just me trying to distract myself#idk#I don’t know what I’m doing anymore#is law a better choice?
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Crying over TLOU2 again don’t text
#the last of us part 2#TLOU2#when Joel said ‘If somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment…#I would do it all over again.’#and then Ellie said ‘I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.#But I would like to try.’#the way she screams at him to get up during THAT part is stuck in my brain#fucking ‘I’ll go back to Jackson. but you and I are done.’#her fucking flashbacks on the farm when the shovel gets knocked over#her trying to play Future Days but she can’t because she couldn’t let go and it tore her hand apart (figuratively AND literally)#that final shot of Joel’s guitar as she leaves it behind and walks into the unknown#don’t even get me STARTED on Wayfaring Stranger#tlou2 spoilers#tlou spoilers#know me better man
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it’s raining hard
#and i am wondering a lot of things#i feel like i simultaneously don’t process my emotions yet also everything affects me more than it affects anyone else#i wonder how many more times i will be motionless in bed all day because of something i can’t control#it’s nobody’s fault but sometimes it’s mine#and i never know until it’s too late#and every time i feel like i’m catching myself i’m just digging myself deeper into the hole#and everyone out there is in their cars and on the train and buying groceries and my roommates are laughing and yelling together#and i am just laying down thinking about all the ways i could have done it differently#even though it’s self destructive#there is no way else for me to show i care and then it gets impulsive#and i am catching myself. so i stop and i sleep for 12 hours instead#i know it comes in waves. i have the time of my life and then it crashes. i know. but knowing doesn’t make it easier#it’s the endless self sabotage of my life#i am catching myself by going to therapy and taking medication and trying very very very hard and even then. even then#i guess i am so scared of the future because i know it will still be like this#except one day i will not be able to just. sit with it#and i don’t know how i’ll handle that#i don’t want to keep apologizing for just existing but the longer i live the more i have to do it#and at some point i find myself running out of things to fix#i am asking everyone about my errors so i solve them and move on . not to change myself because of them but because i know i can be a#<- better person after#but it’s hard to tell someone when something is wrong#and i am not a machine that can be updated#i don’t know. i am tired. goodnight#and please please idk if people read these but please don’t think i write these things to gain pity or sympathy or guilt or anything#it is just my mind ramblings at not great hours
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