#I’ll try and do better in the future
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Hi! I know you probably don't want art requests, but I absolutely LOVE your art and would love to see Richie in your style if possible <3
You’re wrong anon I’m very happy to do art requests hehE
Here is my best attempt at the baby boy
#I wont do evERy request I may get (at least not consistently) but I am very happy to recieve them huhuhu#maybe when I need something to draw I can pick some out like paper in a hat#richie lipschitz#I am NOT GOOd at crazy hair so all I can do is ask for forgiveness#I’ll try and do better in the future#Hatchetfield#NPMD#nerdy prudes must die#digital art#digital drawing#art#drawing#fanart#Starkid#//Ask#//Art Request#Hatchetfield fanart#//Bird mail
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21/6 🎉🎉
#fanart#kitos art#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#happy birthday till#I think it looks so mid but I do not have enough brain power to like#try and fix it#auhghhf#I’m so sorry Till I’ll do you better with a future project#it may take a few days though
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[Mii Maker Music]
!!Find the palette in this thread!!
#my art stuff#beetlejuice#cartoon#toonjuice#digital art#bugs#emoji#I made my own brush for the bugs so I can use them in the future#I’m trying to make art more enjoyable for myself and that means making it much less complicated and take less time#so I’m hoping to use this brush more in the future when drawing beej#or things in general#I’m getting better at lightning the weight I put on myself with my art#but it’s an upphills battle and I am STRUGGLING#I’ve been using this eene inker randomly for a while now and it’s making art so much easier to do for me somehow#but it looks so disgusting in my art. not cus it’s an ugly brush. I think it’s really nice-looking actually#but I have such a strong need for all my art to look clean and for every line to be intentionally put where it is#I have a tendancy to go in and fix singular pixels in EVERYTHING when I draw. even if just to make it intentionally look unintentional#but this brush does it on it’s own and I haven’t felt this relaxed while making digital art in MANY years and it’s STRESSING ME OUT#but it’s good that I can relax. That’s the goal. I want to be able to rnjoy drawing again.#The biggest hurdle is my autism hating change but once I’m past that I know I’ll be right as rain#in the meantime I hope people can still enjoy what little stuff I mannage to crank out randomly#also don’t ask me what the style is. my hand just went off with the “whatever just get it down real quick” mentality#I really need to draw the sweetheart more… I say when he is all I draw besides myself anymore-
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Lat 🖋️
#I feel like the panels don’t really go together#and I realize some of the dialogue doesn’t make sense#but yknow….I’m just kinda proud to get something out#I feel like I had a long day haha#glad I was still able to draw something#and this wasn’t really related to anything. I just like doing these with characters#random comic strips/writing scenes#helps me get to know them better I think#I realize my blog isn’t really centered around any few characters?#I mean there’s definitely some characters I draw more than others#but I wanna develop my ideas about them#who am I kidding ive been trying to do this forever haha#at least you guys like the art so slow n steady I guess#I’ll get to wherever I wanna be someday. I’m still young ig#faith is key!#if ur reading this rn (u a real one if you actually read allat???) have some confidence in your future#that sounds very cheesy and overused but it’s true. I believe in u<3#hetalia#aph baltics#art#aph latvia#my art
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#everything’s fine and I’m fine I’m just saying this to say it rn#I don’t know what I would choose to do if he WAS still alive and I COULD still report officially#but a large part of me is really really glad that that mayor is dead. and I don’t ever have to hear him or see him at events or feel his#unusually long weird fingernails and iron grip while telling me to smile for pictures ever again#a part of me would love to confront him#but most of me is just glad he’s gone and can’t scare me or make life hell for my parents ever again#he never should’ve gotten away with all the things he did for so many years. but he did.#now that we’re here in the present. it’s a gift to get to move on from it knowing he’s not still out there at least#he was a gross greedy person with police and government power and never should’ve had those positions for so many decades like he did#but that being said. he can’t ever speak to or touch me again.#I’m not grateful now. I wasn’t grateful then after he stopped pretending either. but I’m glad I get to walk away and never live near#any subdivision or building or anything else with his name or picture#ever again. and he’s never able to touch another child ever. good riddance. you gross greedy poor excuse for a public servant.#now I’m gonna go try to write some of what I’ve learned into a fic to help my future self and others#who do you think came out on top at the end of the day mayor L?#I came out of this with friends and kindness and gentleness and healthy rage. you died just as greedy and fake and paranoid as you lived.#I hope you got better towards the end. for your wife and family’s sake.#I get to protect others from people like you for the rest of my life. and I’ll win.#because I deserve it and every current kid deserves it too.#shh katie
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I can’t think of a funny caption for this . Sorry not sorry . Yoga
#looks to the moon#rain world#I was worried while making this that it’d be a case where i try a new style#And the first drawing goes SUPER well#But everything after that is shit#So I’m pleasantly surprised by how this turned out!#Originally she was going to be in a more crescent shape#with the moon outlining her entire body#Maybe I’ll do something like that in the future#But i wanted to do something more dynamic kinda#Sorry for the ramble! I’m just happy#also click for better quality
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#Okay so tw cuz im gonna rant about suicide#so back in July I planned on killing myself today#I told myself I needed to try n get better n if I couldn’t that was it#and I’ve tried I really have#and I’m obviously still struggling but not to the extent I was#like I’m depressed n my ed is getting worse#but I’m finally hanging out with D n she’s just so much fun to be around#im calling my bestie more and she sounds genuinely happy to hear from me#im doing a bit better with my parents to n im seeing my cousin more who I’ve missed so much#I have plans for break for the first time in years#im finally getting piercings#it’s crazy cuz even just 2 weeks ago I didn’t think Id be ok today#but I am like today isn’t gonna be another attempt I’m gonna make it#and that’s wild to me bc I was so bad over the summer I was constantly debating it that’s why I set the date#And I don’t think I’m fixed and there’s a big chance I’ll attempt at some point in the future knowing me#but right now I feel like I have a reason to try and I haven’t felt like that in a long time#okay I’m done now just wanted to say that#screaming#tw suicide#tw suicide mention#kinda
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with every act of self love i hug my past self and give him reason to keep going
#i dunno i’m feeling things i’ll try and spare you all the thoughts#i was gonna make a post saying ‘i need to go back in time and hug my younger self’#but this is how you do it right?? you do everything you can in the present to make up for all the shit you subjected yourself to#or were subjected to by others in the past#and it will get easier even as it gets worse it will get better#and maybe one day i will be the past self that i look back and feel such pity?? sorrow??? for#but i can do everything i can now to forge that future me into someone who is loved by himself#sorry bit uhh bit deep for not even that late night tumblr posting#just bare with me it’s important i do this every once in a while#ezra’s real life rambles
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gloomstalker assassin haima
#by god does it fit the vibe#not with how druidic ranger tends to lean though#MONK IS SO IMPORTANT TOO AGH#i’ll have to play a run with it eventually#the more i think about it the more i love it like narritively#i also wanted to try a solo run sometime and this build might be better suited for that#future simon.. THINK ABOUT IT!!!!#simon says#EDIT. NOW IM CRAZY ABOUT IT WHOOPS AHAHA#that whole philosophy of distance as a means for control#and range letting you carefully and accurately set up a shot#as opposed to getting up close and personal with melee#plus bhaaly boys whole thing with daggers#something something again that idea of distance#can’t spin out and attack someone by accident if you’re chilling in the bushes 30 feet away#edit 2 do arrows count as piercing#edit 3 THEY ARE. WE’RE IN BUISNESS BABY#edit 5 now i’m talking myself out of it with rogue/monk favoritism#the build for my fictional video game oc is IMPERATIVE it’s got me weighing pros and cons rn /j#i leave this for mornjng simon who will either continue the nerd debate or think i’m bonkers
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#so much of my fucking life has just been waiting for shit to get better#and i wait and things get better but other things get worse and i just have to wait again#and everytime i try to work towards improving something i’m made fun of and it just falls apart#i’m so tired#but i’m gonna keep waiting bc wtf else am i supposed to do#i want a hug#someday i’ll turn 18 and i’ll move out and i can decide what to do with my life#just 3 more years#just waiting for the future bc that seems like all i can do ig#life is fine rn but. god what am i doing
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Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)
#my back and shoulder are killing me and I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and stretch and I just hurt so bad#so I’m gonna go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that#I’m excited to sleep hopefully a lot and hopefully really well bc 1) weed. 2) took sleepy cough meds to try and mooch extra pain reliever#out of meds in my cabinet. 3) took a back and muscle pain Aleve (even tho I hate taking pills and it took me like three whole min to get it#down my fucking throat. 4) tired from actually using my brain and anxiety from work tired#5) period tired and chronic pain tired#like guys my brain and my body are both exhausted and the idea of getting up tomorrow and doing any of it again makes me miserable and I did#nothing but sit at a computer for three and a half hours that’s itttttt#like doing two week road-trip then non stop either emotional or physical shit every day until my first day at work#like I’m already setting myself up for this to be the summer of the grind#gonna make a bunch of money (and spend too much and blame it on the summer time and needing a little treat every time I venture out into the#heat or work a day or do anything at all) and then save a bunch all fall winter spring and once it gets colder and I feel like I can handle#my job more I want to focus on how to make moving out happen. like I need to figure out if maybe there’s somewhere I want to live that has#an Office Depot I could transfer to cause office depots are everywhere and maybe that’s an added way for me to figure out where I want to#move#hmmm okay I’m gonna lay in bed on google maps looking at Office Depot locations in New England and I’m just gonna daydream and try to fall#asleep and I’ll look at / add to my Pinterest board of house and apartment inspo#going to think about the future because I want to live !!!!#anyways yeah this is the summer of being miserable and spending all my money on bullshit and daydreaming and disappointing my mother#and also the summer of my weed tolerance doubling forever until I’m back to smoking constantly to the point where I’m making myself sick and#then I’ll get sick of smoking weed for a bit and that’ll lead me into saving money again#or force me into a tolerance break where I stop buying weed#either way I’m going to smoke all summer it’s gonna be weed and sweat and fresh fruit and laying in my room during all of my days off and it#it’s gonna suck and I’m gonna be thinking about my dad the whole time and it’ll be depressing and isolating and lonely and I’ll come out of#the summer recentered and motivated towards big goals again like I always am#and then I’ll crash and burn next spring as always. cycles continue forever thank u seasonal depression.#I want to grow up and mature in the ways I deal with myself my health and advocating for my mental health I feel like I need to grow up a#bit so I hope I do that and it feels good. I hope I make friends and I can daydream about the future every night and my room will smell like#weed and incense and sweat and love and tears and it will be incredible
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Okay I’m completely rethinking what I want to do in university, my application is already away but I can change it in July but if I change it then that’s my final decision
I really love film and tv, I’ve applied for film studies but I’m thinking it’s a stupid decision now. I know I’ll get the grades for basically anything I want, so it’s not about grades. It’s just now I’m thinking about doing law or criminology instead, or maybe social policy and human welfare. It’s a huge difference from film, but I think it’s a more sensible option. Everybody says doing something like film or art is a waste, maybe it is.
If I do law or politics then It will be easier to get a job and it’ll mean I won’t be jobless and have wasted a degree and be thousands in debt. But idk
#crisis#I don’t know what to do#my future is so uncertain rn#I have exams tomorrow#and for the next month#these are my final exams and are basically what tells me if I’ll even get into university#I know I will#but what do I do now#I’m so confused#maybe it’s just me trying to distract myself#idk#I don’t know what I’m doing anymore#is law a better choice?
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Crying over TLOU2 again don’t text
#the last of us part 2#TLOU2#when Joel said ‘If somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment…#I would do it all over again.’#and then Ellie said ‘I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.#But I would like to try.’#the way she screams at him to get up during THAT part is stuck in my brain#fucking ‘I’ll go back to Jackson. but you and I are done.’#her fucking flashbacks on the farm when the shovel gets knocked over#her trying to play Future Days but she can’t because she couldn’t let go and it tore her hand apart (figuratively AND literally)#that final shot of Joel’s guitar as she leaves it behind and walks into the unknown#don’t even get me STARTED on Wayfaring Stranger#tlou2 spoilers#tlou spoilers#know me better man
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‘i feel like ruining things because i like you too much’ is such a normal thing to think lol
#and it’s sister: ‘i feel like ruining things bc you’re a better person than me’#like i’m ’saving’ ppl from me?#fucked up way to think and i’m trying not to think like that anymore but sometimes i still do#i’m making up excuses in my head for why this can’t be something#like in whatever way that may be#i felt like this a few months ago but like the difference is the pros outweigh the cons#as in i’d rather be with them than not#bc before i just felt bad about it all#and now sometimes i feel bad but like i’m always gonna feel bad about something#my brain will just always be like that#but unlike a few months ago it feels different to ignore it?#bc the problem doesn’t feel real bc it isn’t real#like i’m just avoiding the problem as if it will go away#like it is actually all in my head as opposed to me just thinking it#and i don’t have to ruin things and nothing has to change#and maybe the universe is trying to tell me something by placing a similar situation in my life again#but also maybe it’s not#and i don’t know what’s gonna happen but i actually feel excited to find out#rather than full of dread at the thought of it all#like obviously i’m still anxious sometimes#but it’s not completely all consuming#and the voice doesn’t feel quite so loud#was gonna delete later but#maybe i’ll come back to this post in the future#and things will probably have changed all over again#and that’s okay and i’ll just have to accept that no matter what happens#here’s to the future i guess!
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I very often call my family members “fucking stupid shitheads” and I say it with love
#I’m at that fun part of my depression cycle where I dread my future#or maybe it’s my anxiety. idk either/or. perhaps all of the above#so I’m like trying to think of how I could get out of this. what I should do with myself. and if it’s achievable#bc I could think of reasons why I should keep living all day shit I have a whole ass list of things I’d like to do#but I have to convince myself that I can actually do them. and if they’ll even be worth the trouble#sure I could keep on living but will things actually get better? and if they do get better will they be better as in ‘I love my life’#or better as in ‘well I’m not so bored and I don’t feel like I want to disappear anymore’?#is that all I have to look forward to?#I don’t think ADHD meds will help me to achieve anything bc I don’t have anything in me.#I think the meds will help me to be a fucking loser with a better memory#but I digress—back to the fam. living with the fam is unbearable. and they wonder why I’m such a control freak#my parents simultaneously think I’m useless and want me out but also want to keep me around so they can exploit me#which is crazy to me bc if I were a parent and had a kid like me I’d be so content. like sure they grew up to be a fucking loser#but theyre MY loser. they stick around and they love me and they’re considerate and actually try to help run the house#they make money to contribute and they’re honest and forgiving and empathetic. what’s not to love? what’s not to appreciate?#but if I leave then I’ll be alone. nobody will want me. I’m too weird and unattractive and unaccomplished#too neurotic. too miserable. too mean. huh#negative#depression#adhd#my bullshit
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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