#I wish i had a better memory | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jontims · 7 months ago

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WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!!!!!

#i am standing on train tracks and i see the lights in the distance and i cant do anything or go anywhere #i wish i had a better memory

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doctorwhommm · 3 months ago

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got silly with this one ◡̈

#torchwood #torchwood fanart #captain jack harkness #ianto jones #gwen cooper #toshiko sato #owen harper #andy davidson #captain john hart #janto #towen #pls click and zoom in for better quality !#HELLO!! everyone who’s been leaving lovely things in the notes of my torchwood drawings I want u to know I love all of u sm!!!#really makes me smile to see people enjoying my silly drawings !!! shoutout to the person who said the way I draw Ianto is like shortbread #fellow torchwood mystery gang truthers this one’s for you #ALSO HELLO !! WELSH PEOPLE !!! ARE YOU YHERE !!! !!!! THIS ONES FOR YOU !!!#has anyone else had the specific childhood trauma of being forced into itchy ass welsh traditional dress pls say my target audience is here #this was actually a way of resolving those memories of having to wear that hat ! the boys just got to wear rugby shirts :(#DO WE THINK IANTO OR GWEN HAD TO DO URDD EISTEDDFOD !! I do !! this is my personal hc just for me bc I think it’s funny #bonus doctor who s1 for u all :D #can u guys tell I’ve just spent the past 2 months job hunting post uni from the gwen drawing :| wish I could get a job for being nosey&gay #myfawny’s tie says ‘l <3 BBQ’ btw if you couldn’t make it out >:)#pls enjoy mewing John hart 👍

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ot3heaven · 2 years ago

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whatever this type of character is,

i want twenty of them.

#i really am vibing with the 'unknown creature steals the form of dead boy in immense body horror and falls in love with human male'#ft a strong serving of 'identity crisis - i have seen the memories of who i replaced and now i want to be them but all i am is a creacher'#wish i had a better picture for an zhe!#little mushroom #toilet bound hanako kun #the summer hikaru died #mitsuba #an zhe #hikaru #mitsukou #no idea what the other ship names are #if anyone knows other characters like this please let me know???

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plan-3-tmars · 9 months ago

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Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

#thats not even getting into the gay theory implications btw #bar kazui staring at audience kazui with the lyrics “all these memories and you / only if i could erase them”#because his crush on his friend literally haunts him and his relationship with hinako (the green apple)#confessing his love to his friend “just so its out in the open” because he so desperately needs to get it off his chest #most likely having his feelings not reciprocated as his friend his married and staring at his wife #who then transitions into hinako / wondering why he does not feel the same happiness with her than he does at the bar #because he's lying to himself and he's lying to her #he *knows* that their relationship is not happiness and yet he hides in denial #because it's not like he will be able to find his happiness anyway as his friend is already taken #sorry #this doesnt rlly make sense and i'm aware of that i wish i could beam what im trying to get at into ur head #unfortunately its nearly 11pm and when i was brainstorming this idea i had a nap and NEVER WROTE MY THOUGHTS DOWN (biggest mistake ever)#someone with a bigger vocabulary pls come and pick this up and explain it better thank youuuy #anyway just hope you get what im trying to say #thats all #sorry for the ramble in tha tags but also this is my house so #milgram #kazui mukuhara #hinako mukuhara #milgram theory #ig i never know what to title these

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minionsuncle · 4 months ago

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my take on Edward and Lydia. The graphic novels pulling me back a little wont lie …

#taz balance #lydia edward taz #edward taz #lydia taz #whatever their tag is #idk about the accent colors but the skin tone hair is just always how i imagined them #i love the adaptation but theres a few choices i dislike like wonderland hvaing a clown theme instead of the gameshow feel #i like me a circus but the tv host personas just worked so much better for them also SORRY I hate the green skin so bad #i apologise to the green elf fans i cant stand it #also i have a vague memory of griffin saying they were dark elves that i probably made up but its just how ive always imagined them #also very minor nitpick wish the arc in the novel couldve had one more round so taako got to lose his beauty #its a minor nitpick just cause in the grand scheme of things its not very important and its brought up once #but that conversation with kravitz is so dear to me #tis whatever tho #is it obvious i like using tumblr tags a lot

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moeblob · 8 months ago

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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bitternanami · 6 months ago

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thats something i really really like about learning languages, is that all of them have the same problem to solve: how do i get across what i mean?

and the way that each one solves that problem is so varied and its like. a whole new paradigm of thinking, every time you become familiar with a new language.

once you stop comparing the target language to your first one and start looking at it as its own set of methods to figure out an answer people have been trying to find for forever, the way to accurately convey thoughts from one person to another, it feels like looking at everything differently. you can see how ideas are shaped by the ways we describe them. how your own modes of thinking have been shaped from the start!

its incredibly cool philosophical stuff!!!

#linguistics tag #philosophy tag #i wish i had better memory. a lot of stuff tends to just roll off

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dandyshucks · 2 months ago

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i Love pkmn but i love it as a worldbuild. when i play the game its just bc i like exploring the world and the critters. and i feel like everyone else who likes pkmn are all ppl who Love the games and competitive parts of it. so i feel a little embarrassed about not being a game-lover and competition-lover... i simply enjoy the world and the silly creatures 😭😭

#i dont talk about pkmn very much outside of this space and even here i just talk abt Guz mostly #bc i always worry ppl are going to think im silly (derogatory) for not being a proper gamer fjdkdl #when i was a kid i was able to remember the pkmn names a lot more and i probably could've learned the type matchups #but i didnt have a chance to play the games (bc of abuse and misogyny lol) so i couldn't like... learn stuff as a kid when i actually-#-had a functional memory still 😭😭 once i hit 15 i started losing my memory capabilities #and i only started playing a little bit when i was 16 so rest in shit LOL #(also the misogyny thing is just that my brothers were allowed to play video games but i wasnt bc i was a girl lmfao)#I JUST FEEL EMBARRASSED i wish i could be a Gamer™ but I'm just. not good at it.#i Could be good if i rly put in a bunch of effort but like... i got better things to do and things i care about more sbdjdkl #AUUUGHHH sorry for this im just embarrassed all of a sudden abt this djfkdl #and also worry that ppl are going to expect me to be Good at this or smth but yall im rly not fjdkdl i just sort of brute force my way thru #all the battles and everything fnfkdl i use almost No strategy fjdkdl i prefer offensive moves over defensive moves even #its just... im not good at this stuff dhdkdl #dandy.cmd #dandy.exe #vent //

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sskk-manifesto · 3 months ago

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And so the big sskk shortage begins (no sskk for the next 15 episodes) (and the sskk episode coming after kind of sucks)

#Hhhhhh this is such a good episode.#I don't have any particular strong feeling for Fukuzawa nor Ranpo but this is a very good episode.#The pacing is great the tension and ease are well distributed as much as action and exposition are.#The animation is spectacular and detailed. The drawings beautiful. The imperfect black and white is original‚ compelling and eyecatching #Truly something that shows the animators were given budget and enough time to really think it through. Please more of this #Off to more personal notes I clearly remember the moment in my dorm room I watched the bsd anime–#come back for the first time after three years and the reveal of the untold origins novel being adapted that came with it.#It's such a sweet memory. I was so so excited and happy and thinking back at it makes me :')#In love with Oda's voice please speak more baby #About voices Fukuzawa looks so younggggg and yet his voice is so deepppppppp it's a funny contrast ahah.#Fukuzawa was very pretty when he was younger.#Distributing countless papers on the floor of my childhood's house attic to order them to the point there was no space left to walk is–#something I actually used to do when I was little. That's a cute memory too. I've always liked organizing stuff lol #Seeing all the actors preparing in the backstage threw me back to my musical theater hyperfixation.#Theater backstage feels so familiar to me if only because I used to keep up with the actors' i/nstagram stories religiously pffttttt #I really like Oda.#Wish his life had a little more happiness in it. Wish Fukuzawa could have adopted him too. Wish he could have married Dazai.#Alas :///#Aight no Atsushi this episode (and no Akutagawa for a whole season God‚‚‚‚‚‚‚ ) but a lot more exciting things to come!!!!!#Oh almost forgot the op and ed songs are so good too hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #Actually I think I just might have a soft spot for everything s4 since it's the first season I witnessed as it was airing pffttt #random rambles #I probably need to find a better file to watch the season... So far I'm still using the old episodes I individually downloaded–#as the anime was dropping. Which technically are still 1080 mkv but idk I feel like the quality is not the best.#And the subtitles are suboptimal

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my-last-writing-braincell · 4 months ago

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Hey clown breeders, never let my father around your clowns. He wants to build a clown army to take over the world.

(I'm glad he's in a good mood but I have informed him that he is very evil.)

#clown husbandry #this is all meant in good fun #he does not condone irl wars obviously #i wish i had better memory so i could quote some of what he came up with and make you guys laugh too.

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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 3 months ago

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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.

#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me #there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do #wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget #support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to #live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have #no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've #seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not #remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you #never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you #think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was #when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget #unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my #sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's #enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will #to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards #your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the #older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or #you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which #as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken #literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely #twisted version of events

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howdyboh · 1 year ago

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he should have been evil. just a little. as a threat

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #ons #mikaela hyakuya #mikaela shindo #demon!mika #loved when he was an evil little freak but then he just immediately regained his memories :/ too easy!!#also i am starting to hate him now. he was kind of thenonly reason i keep reading after every other character i liked became meh #and now he's just another stupidly happy guy...#also oldish drawing (maybe a couple months) but especially after this month's chapter i really wish he had a better personality or at least #an interesting one #go read 'no lights' on ao3 also #also full disclosure don't take my fanart as me liking this piece of media. i don't. it's one of my most hated now but i love to hate it #mhm i write 'also 'a lot

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soaps-mohawk · 5 months ago

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that post about the whole reader having YouTube videos of her childhood made me think of the channel my dad made me the year I was born😭 he posted everything there

baby videos are cute, I admit

but me somewhere closer to puberty made me cringe⛹️‍♀️

I was that kid who made movie skits🎥

Had a whole video pretending my cousin's and I were astronauts🚀

I hated the sound of my voice🙉 I understand reader

also because other than the whole documentary of my life I didn't know about existed, there was a channel with just videos of me singing🦹‍♀️🔫

omega reader covering her ears and going "LALALALALALALA" to not hear anything LMAO

Omg that's so cute 🥹🥹🥹

I'd die from embarrassment though I feel that 😂 I remember a band concert one year where I had a solo and my dad made DVD copies of it and passed it around to everyone in my family and in our church 🫣 thankfully YouTube was not big at that time otherwise I'm sure it would have wound up there too.

#i do kind of wish i had a copy now that i'm older #but oh well #i have the memories for the most part #i was so nervous i blacked out for most of it #but i did good apparently #imagine me who hates being in front of people and the center of attention being a band kid #choices were made #still better than sports #answered

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leonardalphachurch · 1 year ago

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Hey there! Do you know where I could find any RvB fics where all the funky brain stuff that happens is intentionally written as plurality? I've seen one or two but the only plurality fic that's tagged is a seemingly abandoned high school AU (the other one i found being a post s13 one-shot with plural Tucker+AI fragments which I thought was neat) and I really have no idea how else to go about searching for this sort of thing.

Thanks!

unfortunately we don’t read too much fic anymore but i can recommend you what i got

here is my profile: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromaticRoses/pseuds/LeonardAlphaChurch there’s only two fics on there right now and epsilon is actively plural in both but neither of them are really about his system and none of his fragments really make an appearance. however i’m going to try VERY hard to be posting our alpha lives au soon and the first part of that is literally all about the system so. keep your eyes peeled for that i guess.

But I Still Want To by feraandmera is a really cute modern wash/church fic where church explicitly has DID and it’s a major part of the fic. it’s part of a series too so there’s another fic there that’s mostly church and lina being family. the writer doesn’t have DID but it’s still a really accurate portrayal that made us 🥺 when we read it god. three years ago now?

The Things We Wish We Could Forget by Rainycat is a canon divergent merc!alpha chucker au where church also explicitly has DID. we weren’t able to finish it for personal trigger reasons BUT the stuff we did read up to was really good and we love it so much and some day i hope to be able to go back and finish it haha

also @rubykgrant writes a lot of stuff that falls into this category but i figure i will let her promo herself LOL

uh. those are the only i can think of at the moment. our memory for this stuff isn’t the greatest. if other people have any reccs PLEASE send them in. also any plural fic writers feel free to promo themselves here even if you don’t write about plurality but ESPECIALLY if you do

#asks #aterabyte #rvb #red vs blue #putting this in tags to hopefully get some more reccs #honestly i only remembered one of those fics bc there’s a message from its author in our ao3 inbox 💀 sorry i wish we had better memory for u

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romance-incubomp3 · 3 months ago

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aghhhh:(

#I wish I had known about bt when atsushi was still around:( like #getting into them so much has been like a source of happiness and comfort this year #but then I feel kind of bad because the reason I found out about them is because someone died #for a while it was just one of those things that’s like yeah #sometimes an artist dies and that’s how you find out about their stuff #and it’s nice for people to continue discovering and loving someone’s art after they’re gone #but I’ve been feeling more sad about that lately #like I’ve never found a band that’s just felt so much like My thing before #there’s plenty of bands and songs I love but #I’ve never really gotten this obsessed or invested in a specific band #so part of me wishes I had discovered them sooner or heard about them under better circumstances #and not cause I happened to be scrolling through tumblr during work and #saw goth blogs I follow posting memorial stuff #it feels kind of spooky and morbid too because I had been #thinking lately I wanted to find some goth bands from japan #if I had actually gotten around to doing the research I probably would have started listening to them #so it was weird timing #and I was showing my dad the climax together tour and he was kind of #lamenting that he had never heard of them when he was younger because he would have gotten so into their music #like. ah if my dad had any exposure to japanese rock when he was younger #I definitely would have grown up listening to a lot of buck-tick #and der zibet too probably #I was watching dz concert videos late last night #and issay was so cute and lively and full of energy #and then I thought about how he died in some accident and I started feeling upset #especially since one of my favorite movie actors died in a pretty horrific freak accident #it’s like I’d rather just not think about what might’ve happened (since there weren’t really public details)#anyway I’m just kind of like. having complicated feelings about all of it #different than sadness and grief I’ve felt over artists in the pass since it was all postmortem that I knew about them

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jes12321 · 11 months ago

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Just a reminder for the new year: firsts are milestones but they’re not the most important part. What’s really important is what comes after.

#your first steps are important #but what really matters is where they take you #because people make too big of a deal out of firsts #like yeah they’re important #but not as important as what you do after them #sure your first kiss is pretty big at the time #but twenty years later you’ll have had lots more (and probably better) kisses #and that first one may always hold a special place in you #but you’ll have a best kiss #and a worst kiss #and all kinds of memories that are more important #so don’t stress the firsts #just let things happen #happy new year #i wish you all the best #kisses

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