#I wish I could sleep and never wake up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sluttinator5000 · 2 years

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#I wish my being depressed didnt affect my whole household #i dont really know where to put this #it feels like i'm rotting inside #I wish I could sleep and never wake up #i'm so tired #cw vent

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marshmallow-creme · 2 years

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#you know what really sucks?#I know there are people who love me and care about me and need me.#I know there are so many things to do and see and experience that could and would bring me joy #I know that there is more than likely a life worth living #and I know that people would be devastated if I were gone #but i am so tired….#everyday I feel more and more empty #I wish I could sleep and never wake up #I don’t do anything to hurt myself or off myself bc it would be inconvenient for others #maybe it’s not that I wish I were gone but I just wish I could have a break #I wish I could hibernate and wake up be able to start over #but everything keeps happening and changing and it’s too fast for me to keep up #please just let me rest

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bunnihearted · 6 months

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#it's so mentally draining nd taxing for me to live w my family...#they are never considerate towards me and always treat me like a bother #even after my surgery my sisters kept making sure i knew i was a burden and took up too much space #i could tell how sick my mom is of me too #it's just so exhausting #bc like now when i only slept 3hrs bc of tooth pain nd then couldnt sleep more #nd now still have tooth pain nd im rlly tired nd need to wake up early tmrw to call the dentist #my mom nd sister r in the living room watching tv #so i asked if they could plz be mindful of the volume #nd they sighed nd rolled their eyes nd said yeah yeah whatever #like im an awful demanding person for even daring to ask them this #it's just not fun to have to deal w constantly #sorry im in pain nd i wanna try to sleep as much as i can but i cant even try when i can hear u laugh nd talk etc etc #just rathet be alone :((#but yeah idek if i'll be able to sleep bc the pain isnt fun #im trying to just breathe nd accept that it is there nd that hopefully the dentist can help T-T #am i bad for wishing to be shown consideration nd sympathy? sometimes i even wanf them to feel sorry for me

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talesofwhimsy · 3 months

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Car Seat Headrest, “Weightlifters” // the Mountain Goats, “Isaiah 45:23”

#I am the most stagnant person to ever live #if I were a body of water #mosquitos would flock to me like salmon to waterfalls and inland lakes and rivers #because I haven’t changed in nearly a decade #nothing changes with me #I am the bog water in the basement after the flood #untouched for years #yearning to be disturbed #unable to set myself to moving #god i’m so pretentious I wish I could just sleep for like #1322 days #wake up and have something be different #different or over #because being over would mean being different #and I’m delusional too if I think anything will ever change #I’m doing the same shit I did eight years ago #I’m feeling the same shit I felt fourteen years ago #and no matter what I tell myself #or others tell me #it never changes #because I’m so fucking deluded that I think #if everything stays the same #if I don’t do anything #things will change around me #things will become better around me #that if I keep my mouth shut #god will answer all my prayers #I’m so fucking DELUSIONAL god please just smite me with the knowledge of how everything will end. please. please. please. please. please.#Car Seat Headrest #the Mountain Goats

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doomed-prophetess · 8 months

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If Claude had forced Diana to abort the baby how would that have changed their relationship? Would Diana forgive this gross violation of her body because he did it to save her life? Would her love still burn as bright as ever after they reconciled or would her feelings cool down?

#could this serve as a wake-up call and make her realize that Claude's love is selfish and he would never respect her wishes?#and with forced I mean against her will #either without telling her or telling her and then putting her to sleep with magic and going through with the procedure #I've seen fics where Diana reacted to Claude executing LP Athy but now I want to see one where she would witness the death of her baby #by his hands

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balkanradfem · 1 year

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Is there anyone who has an opposite problem of waking up late? I wake up early against my will. I don't know if it's the homesteader dna syncing me up with nature, but if the sun is up, I am up. It doesn't matter if it's 5am, I am awake if the sun exists above the horizon. Doesn't matter if I went to sleep at midnight or 2am, I will be up at 5 and unable to sleep for a second more. I have to go to sleep at 9pm if I want decent sleeping hours.

#i wanna sleep in!!!!#but I can't and if I stay in bed my body starts hurting from lying down #so I have to get up :/#it's ok in summer when I just go to garden #but right now it's disruptive #i mean okay i never need an alarm to wake me up to go to job #i've never been late #and i can keep my phone off for the entire night #which saves its battery #so i acknowledge there are benefits #but also i wish i could sleep more lol

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tamagotchikgs · 12 days

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having perhaps a full anxiety attack over that email i dont know why i responded i cant work a job i cant do any of it i am so weak i can barely get down the stairs i am so ugly i am so bad at talking i am so Scared. i am just filled w dread i want to hide i want it gone i Cant Breathe

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makkie-is-screaming · 3 months

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Depressive spiral oncoming. Can’t stand without my vision going out. Relapsed and it’s infected. Loosing time. I have lost momentum and I don’t know how to get back into motion.

#Head hurts can’t sleep bad anxiety #waking up wishing I was dead again just when I thought I could get better #hating on someone I’ve never met because I feel like she replaced me (she’s a sweet girl I’m just a jealous bitch)#the anger is coming back and I don’t know what to do with it #I’m struggling to talk or message people again #screaming

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 4 months

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I woke from a dream at 2 am (which had nothing to do with rivers or eels but very much to do with my mother) and this poem(?) sprung - practically fully formed - into my head. For once I listened to the voice that urged me to pick up my phone and write it down. This is what came out, no refining or second-guessing. It's no masterpiece but oddly enough it's one of the most coherent and complete poems I've ever written.

#poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #writblr #my poetry #let me know if there are any glaring typos lol #it hasn't been edited except for one extreme typo - mr instead of my - that i only just caught 💀#it's morning now and I'm sleep deprived #anyway i have never been a wake up with an idea sort of writer - at least not to this extent #and i was just thinking the other day how metaphors don't really come naturally to me and i wish i could use them more #so i just thought it was very interesting that this came along in the middle of the night and took me by the throat #I've been absolutely POSSESSED by the writing spirit lately which feels so much like coming home #anyway this both feels like something that could be expanded and fleshed out or left quite stark and simple like this? guess time will tell.

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putridpride · 5 months

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oh my god im so sick of this spiralling feeling

#nothing is fucking wrong #nothing is wrong at all but im still feeling so fucking beat #im so mad that i feel so hopeless for no reason #my life is going so smooth rn but I still cant just find peace #im anxious for no reason. i feel so detached and i want to completely disappear #i wish i could rewire my head. i wish i didnt feel this way for no reason at all #i just want to sleep and never wake up. i just wanna rot in bed forever #idk #m.

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trashlie · 1 year

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For the first time since before Thanksgiving last year I just. Do not want to exist. I don't know if it's a coincidence that I went off the antidepressant I was taking for migraines, if it's just because I never sleep and have hit a record state of misery or what but boy I haven't missed this.

What I'd give to just. Hibernate for a few months

#ashlie.txt #i have felt this coming and kept hoping it was a fleeting thing but no #i simply do not wish to be #and especially do not wish to work #or do ANYTHING really #just sleep #and i guess cry lol #god i wish i could quit my fucking job and never deal with this or waking up at 7:45 ever again #who cares about insomnia if i don't HAVE to be up in 5 hours anyway?#and now i gotta wait like 4 weeks to see if Wellbutrin kicks in and does anything #fucking amazing #wonderful time

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aquapede · 8 months

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im so tired of being in pain and discomfort and hardly being able to move and everything blurring together because it's a monumental task to do anything and it's hard to think 👍

#vent #art has been hard. talking has been hard. even playing video games is taxing but its at least something #it's been weeks of this now #i wish i could just sleep forever and then wake up and be okay #it feels so far out of my grasp. it's never been this bad and i don't even know if this will ever go away

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ironstrange1991 · 2 years

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I wish I had written the christmas fic I intended to write. I wish I had the heart to write anything resembling a positive merry christmas message, but that's just not me. I've been battling depression for years and although this year I feel a little better, everything gets worse when its christmas. Anyway, I really wish that all the people who follow me have a nice christmas night together with the people they love. And if anyone is feeling depressed like I am, know that you are not alone.

#i am so tired of feeling like this #i feel so depressed right now #i wish i could go to sleep and never to wake up

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born-to-lose · 1 year

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Missing people and regretting shit o'clock

#why did i even let it come this far. 7 fucking months and i didn't realize what was going wrong so i could have saved it #i want him back fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #was thinking of this notebook i filled for him with memories and poetry and quotes and general mushy things and goddamn #why am i crying i just looked at my desk and i don't have the heart to put everything in a box so i don't see it every day when i wake up #i know i can't change it and it's probably over for good now after i fucked some things up extra hard but fuck do i miss him #i wish i could have done something in time before even the thought of breaking up came up #just when i thought for once things are working out for me and it was really fucking good and happy until a week before it ended #guess i just can't be happy. i never could #i was really really willing to talk things out and fix whatever needs to be fixed while staying together #not go separate ways and maybe not so maybe definitely not possibly maybe see if we can try again in the future #which we (spoiler) apparently won't and i kinda came to terms with that but i still wish there was a possibility #or at least i would have liked to know from the beginning and not spend weeks hoping for a reunion and working towards that specifically #while i seem to be the only one with that goal #idk i just wish it had been more thought through and talked about properly so there wouldn't be the misunderstandings we deal with now #and like boundaries for the first two months or so after that but it takes two i guess #disclaimer i'm not bitter or mad at anyone just sad and nostalgic. if the person in question reads this i love you ok that won't change #deleting later but now i need to go back to sleep before i kill myself on a whim #mel talks #depressed bitch posting #i know i know i know i did some shit too that wasn't great and i'm not saying i'm innocent here i'm just so depressed about the situation #it's been seven goddamn weeks it never took me this long to get over anything before

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sensitivegoblin · 10 months

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Vent

#unsafe vent #I really wish I was dead #my dad is putting so much stress onto me to 'make up' with my sister #which means I gotta apologize to her because SHE read MY personal PRIVATE journal #my family doesn't want me to kill myself and I don't know why #if I was dead no one would be around to make all of you upset #God I'm losing people left and right all I wanna do is go to sleep and never wake up #my dad said such nasty things that night when I needed him #what is the point of therapy if he's just gonna shit on it any chance he gets #I love my family but I wish that they would understand #I told my dad that I was so upset that I wanted to bang my head into the ground #and he said 'you gotta control that.'#what a fucking smart cunty bitch you are!!!!!!! yes I do!!! if only I had someone I could trust to help me!!!!!!!#if I wasn't so scared of Hell I would've been dead by now #I can't even cut cus my stupid razor sucks ass #I get why people do hard drugs now lmao #I would never but the urge to snort and swallow random shit to feel something is rising #I would drink but it gets me so sick it's not worth it #I'm in such a bad mental health spot all I can think about is how easy it would be for someone to take advantage #I dunno how to describe it but it's very dark :(#the only way I can make this all go away is if once again I take the blame #I wish I was more confident I was going yo heaven so I could just end it

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martensite-triangulation · 1 year

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#Unfortunately god will never be graceful enough to me to kill me off in my sleep #I just... I wish I didn't have to live right now. In this moment. I hate existing at this time. Couldn't I exist at a different time #I'm still holding out that maybe I'm just the hallucinations of some poor comatose fella. In which case I hope they wake up from their coma #I wish I could spontaneously will myself out of existence but unfortunately we can't go out like that. Unfortunately that is not an option #But just know that if making it so I ceased to exist was possible. I would have done it long ago #There's just. no good in this world you see. Every good thing gets overshadowed by a billion bad things #I was... I was put in this universe as a test. That is certain. But see I failed the test. I am actively failing the test #Can you conclude I'm a failure and let me move on? I hate this test I'm being subject to. I hate this existence #Oh god please end my suffering. Relieve me of my pain. I say that. But you never will. You are just not graceful enough for that #If god was merciful I would not wake up tomorrow. Do you understand?

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