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ironmandeficiency · 3 years

Text

disGUSTING

pairing: crosshair / reader

word count: 5096

summary: your first impression of your soulmate is that they have no idea what a trash can is. years later they still don’t know about trash cans but apparently had a frighteningly large gun.

req: i’m requesting soulmate prompt 3 with crosshair but if not then fox?!?!?! thank you love, take care and GET SLEEP - @murdertoothpick

a/n: i’m still confused as to how i was able to write 5k words for this bastard. y’all better like this bc otherwise i will be looking for the nearest cliff and throwing myself off it. that is all.

warnings: cursing, one (1) soft wrecker and crosshair moment, crosshair comes 🤏🏻 close to murdering tech, shenanigans

requests are open!

on the way to work, you blindly reach for your speeder keys in the bowl by your front door. it’s a normal action when you’re heading to work, nothing to worry about on a typical day. key word: typical.

“son of a- ugh!” you shout and immediately retract your hand from the bowl. next to your keys was yet another chewed toothpick that your soulmate tossed away without a care, the splintered wood the reason you were holding your hand protectively to your chest. when you meet them, you swear you’re gonna give your soulmate an earful about how gross and inconvenient their toothpicks are when just trying to go about your day. maybe buy them a trash can as a first gift as a semi-joke.

you know you lose stuff a lot, but it’s never anything that gross (you don’t think) or that can hurt them if they weren’t paying attention. there were very few things that your soulmate lost that weren’t errant toothpicks; it made you feel a twinge of guilt when you threw the abundant toothpicks away but seriously, what were you going to do with dozens of chewed toothpicks?

being a secretary for the coruscant guard was no glamour job, but it paid well and you always came home with an interesting story or two. there wasn’t much downtime even on a good day but you didn’t mind the chaos. it kept you on your toes and paid the rent. the days, which started out as tedious and draining, gradually grew shorter when you started to make friends with some of the clones that frequented your desk.

some of the friendships were instantaneous; you bought a bone and some treats for grizzer once and ever since, hound has called you his favorite civvie. other friendships took time to cultivate into something stronger, that trust harder to earn; lunch breaks spent with commanders being forced to rest, sometimes with gossip flowing or a comfortable silence. it took several months, but you learned that commander fox was a hardcore gossiper and somehow had the best access to what thorn calls “piping hot tea.”

“good morning, eros!” you called to a familiar trooper as you made your way to your desk. he waved with a smile as he approached, taking his usual perch on the corner.

“hey birdie, got something for me?” eros took to calling you birdie when the two of you would spend lunches together. any gossip you relayed to him was kept under the guise of “a little bird told me” to save face, and the nickname just stuck with the rest of the guard.

“as a matter of fact,” you reply, digging in your bag for a moment before pulling out two bottles of expensive bath soaps that made his eyes widen comically. “my friend gave these to me but didn’t remember that i was allergic to the main ingredient. thought you would enjoy them.”

the resulting grin on his face could power the entire senate building. “thank you! kriff birdie, you didn’t have to do that! i-“

“i know i didn’t have to, but i did.” you turned away from him for a moment to log into the data system so you could begin the day’s work. “now get outta here kid, you’re bothering me!” you chuckle as you say the inside joke (a reference to the one time stone had to interact with a senator’s young son) and he pats your cheek with a grin before he departs.

it’s less than an hour before another toothpick graces your morning. you roll your eyes at it fondly before tossing it into the trash can under your desk. at this rate, you could have built a wood hut on some backwater moon out of the things and run away from all responsibilities. your soulmate would probably think it’s as idiotic a thought as you do and you chuckle to yourself at the absurdity.

a clatter on your desk registers in your mind. thinking it’s a trooper preparing to give you paperwork or stop for idle chitchat, you give a small wave and ask what they need.

you get no answer.

that’s weird. they might not have heard you, so you ask your question again.

still nothing.

your eyes flit up to where an average trooper’s eye level is and find nothing still. you start forming ideas for payback if it turns out to be one of thire’s stupid pranks again, turning back to your work.

that’s when your eyes find the weapon. “holy shit!! what in the- fox!! thorn!!” none of the men you knew would just leave firearms on your desk, which was what made this weapon’s sudden appearance incredibly baffling. and even then, you’d never seen one that looked quite like this before.

footsteps pounded on the floor at your shout, both commanders and any surrounding clones immediately rushing to your aid. you could see the eyes of the ones without their helmets bulge from their heads in shock. “birdie, where the kriff did you get a firepuncher?”

you scrunched your face in confusion for a moment before realizing that the model name must be firepuncher. weird, but okay. “if i knew where the thing came from, i wouldn’t have shouted!”

fox was the first to approach the gun with notable caution. “it’s a 773 alright,” he mumbles as he looks it over. it had several modifications that were very rare to come by for an average trooper, much less a secretary. it looked to be gar-issue, which he confirmed when he read the familiar firearms coding system that cataloged every blaster manufactured for the war effort. it just compounded the confusion as to how it got there; how would a guardsman get his hands on such a modified beauty of a rifle, and why would they just leave it with you?

“i’m gonna take it down to the armory, see if they can search its code in the gar systems. thorn, check surveillance. there’s a chance our perp was caught by one of the cameras.” the men around him nod, a couple of them giving you reassuring glances and small embraces. they couldn’t imagine how frazzled you were about this, and not to mention how worried they are about your safety with this bizarre circumstance. “birdie, come with me. they’ll probably want to ask you a few questions.”

eros squeezed your hand, noticing that the idea of being interrogated by the armory has you a bit uncomfortable. “it’ll be fine birdie, fox won’t feed you to the wolves. he likes you too much.” you laughed at him and let yourself be escorted to the armory.

“and you just found it on your desk?”

“why is that so hard to believe?” the weapons inventory specialist was grilling you about what you just learned was called a 773 firepuncher. you’d have lost your patience long ago if it weren’t for your friend’s reassuring hand on your back. “i was working when i heard a thud on my desk. thought it was a trooper but when i looked, this thing was just laying there!”

despite the circumstances that brought you to the armory, you enjoyed the meticulous organization of the room, how everything had a place specifically for that one thing. weapons and accessories you couldn’t even imagine were stored here and you just casually walked by them every day.

there were a few things out on a nearby table that caught your eye while fox handled the rest of the business. some were easily identified, grenades and the like (too many late nights spent at home watching holodramas), but there was a small pile of small reflective discs that were oddly familiar.

to you, they were handheld mirrors, maybe kept in a bag for makeup on the go or whatnot. your soulmate has lost two of them; you kept them in a box in the top of your closet for safekeeping with the other non-toothpick relics from your soulmate. any reason why the guard would have makeup mirrors lying around was beyond you — wait a minute! the guard wouldn’t have compact mirrors laying around in the armory. so if they weren’t normal mirrors, what were they?

“hey fox, what’re these?” you have the sense to not pick them up, instead waving your finger around them. the armorer had their back turned to your friend while digging through the munitions database, leaving fox to wander the armory however he pleased.

he approached you with a smile. “those, birdie,” he replies while picking up several of them, studying them reverently, “are bolt reflectors. they work similar to pinball — place them around a space and shoot a blaster at one, and the blaster bolt will bounce along them like a path.”

your eyes lit up. “i have two of these at home, my soulmate lost them! i just thought they were makeup mirrors, but-“

“you have these at home?!” you almost put the commander into cardiac arrest with the admission.

“yeah, it’s not like i knew-“

“hold on a second!” the armorer shushed you both. “so you just found the bolt reflectors?” you nod. “and then the firepuncher just magically showed up on your desk?”

fox’s comm chirped. thorn’s voice confirmed what the armorer was slowly beginning to suspect: there was no one seen on any of the cameras depositing the weapon onto your desk, and you didn’t pull it out of your belongings. the thing seemingly appeared out of thin air.

fox thanked his brother before hanging up, no closer to answers in his own mind than he was five minutes ago. when he looked to the armorer though, they seemed to know exactly what was happening. “so what does this mean?”

they smirked as they looked at you and the baffled commander. “it means,” they pulled up the weapons logs on their datapad, “that your soulmate is most likely the owner of this 773 firepuncher.”

seriously?! how does a soulmate go from leaving toothpicks behind like footprints to losing an entire blaster rifle? “well whose is it then?”

“goes by crosshair, a member of clone force 99,” they hit a few more icons on their datapad and pulled up another page. “and they’ll be landing planetside in three days’ time.”

three days! three days? three days?! that’s no decent amount of time to prepare for meeting your soulmate! once you got your answers from the armory, fox led you back to your desk with a grounding hand between your shoulder blades.

“if you need to go home for the day, i understand. this is a lot of information to take in.” the twinge of sympathy in his voice makes it unclear whether he’s talking about finding out when you can meet your soulmate, or if it’s because your soulmate is a clone.

you know he internally hates the idea of you leaving for the day; you doing your job makes his job easier. the fact he was offering the option meant a lot, but you knew him well enough not to take him up on it. and how were you supposed to just twiddle your thumbs at home until then? news flash, you weren’t.

“you can’t get rid of me that easy.”

fox nods in thanks, silently relieved that you decided to stay. he isn’t sure what else to say except that he’s there if you need him, so he gives your shoulder a squeeze and a few more words of reassurance.

the longest three days of your life have now begun.

“how do you lose an entire 773?”

“if i knew how it happened, i would have kept it from happening!”

“maker’s sake, bickering about it won’t bring the karking thing back!”

tensions aboard the marauder have been at an all time high for the past several hours. the mission was a success (by mere technicality), but everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. tech did everyone a favor by keeping the team updated on the likelihoods of each misstep and every concentrated disaster in real time, which was a real morale booster.

to start, the wrong files were given to the team before the start of the mission. every vantage point and building schematic that they memorized was in vain and incredibly useless, leaving them to walk in blind.

to add flair to the fiasco, tech was shot, wrecker dislocated his shoulder, and there was an avalanche on the hill where crosshair was in position. said avalanche resulted in crosshair losing his prized 773 firepuncher and plunging the inhabitants of the havoc marauder into a state of chaos.

the closest base that had a firepuncher was on coruscant, three days out and somehow exactly where they were supposed to be for their next mission’s briefing. it was quite strange for there to be only one cataloged firepuncher on coruscant of all places, where hardly any of the guardsman needed such weaponry. the serial number wasn’t attached, which would normally be a bit fishy, but no one felt like looking this gift blurrg in the mouth. they were just going to take it as a win and keep on keeping on.

“just shut up and get some rest, we have three days till we hit the triple zero.” with that, hunter retreated to his bunk to find respite from tech and crosshair’s bickering.

crosshair wasn’t able to rest. he felt like shit; that 773 was the same one he’d been using since his first mission off kamino and losing it was like losing a limb. tech’s barrage of complaints about how everything turned out added fuel to the fire and all he wanted was to just curl up in his bunk and not wake up for a month.

but he had responsibilities and enough pride for him and his brothers to spare. moping wasn’t allowed no matter how warranted he believed it to be.

as he retreated to his bunk, he played through everything during the mission that led him to where he was now.

could he have found another vantage point that wasn’t involved in the rock slide that would have given his brothers the same, if not better, cover? what if he had held on to his rifle a bit tighter, jumped off the rocks he was perched on earlier? would he still have it then?

he was without his rifle (he named her naberrie but no one knew that but him) and felt utterly incompetent. what kind of sniper loses his rifle? he wasn’t some shiny reg that didn’t know what he was doing, he was an enhanced sniper! that rifle is his life and he just lost it like a fool.

loud clanging from outside his bunk had him rolling to face the wall. he didn’t want to deal with whatever this was about to be but as usual, he wasn’t given a choice in the matter.

“cross,” wrecker called from just outside his bunk. very seldom was wrecker’s voice that soft and quiet but here he was almost whispering.

crosshair, in intrigue and slight worry about what could get wrecker to sound like that, rolled back over and faced his brother. “what is it, wrecker?”

“i’m sorry you lost naberrie,” his hand was rubbing the back of his neck, eyes downcast and not as bright as normal. “i know she means a lot to you.”

he wasn’t prepared for wrecker to know what he named his rifle but his younger brother didn’t give him time to dwell on how he knew that information. “if i lost lula, i don’t know what i’d do.” if he didn’t want to listen to the rest of what wrecker was going to say, he would have made a snide remark about how crosshair thinks his brother would react to losing his tooka plushie.

“don’t think that naberrie is what makes you a good shot though,” one of his hands reached for crosshair’s shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. “that rifle didn’t keep us safe on missions, cross. it’s always been you.”

wrecker left crosshair to his thoughts with a soft smile. out of all the things his brother could have said, that was not one he had planned on hearing. it didn’t quite get rid of all the negativity he had been feeling, but it did help him not go to sleep angry.

the past three days yielded a drastic uptick in chewed toothpicks being scattered through your environment. your first thought was that it had to do with the rifle fox was keeping safe in his office. since the armorer said your soulmate was a sniper, you could only imagine how anxious they’d be about losing their primary weapon. you just hoped they were doing okay.

no other information was given to you about the unit your soulmate was from; despite your role as secretary for the guard, you were still more or less a civvie. it was a pile of bantha shit in your opinion, but none of the guardsman who knew anything about clone force 99 would tell you anything. you’d think you were asking them to put a blaster to the chancellor’s head with how adamant they were about not telling you anything.

a cleared throat called your attention away from your wandering thoughts. “excuse me? are you alright?”

“yes, i’m sorry. what can i do for you?”

the clone in front of you… was almost not a clone at all. if he weren’t kitted up and not in front of your desk, you would’ve thought he was a civilian. “yes, i came to pick up a 773 firepuncher and the armorer directed me to speak to a commander fox. would he happen to be in his office at the moment?”

holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

“may i ask who needs to speak with him?” this just seems like a simple request a normal secretary would make, but little did he know.

what you knew was your soulmate’s name: crosshair. if this wasn’t crosshair (you didn’t think it was), they couldn’t take the rifle with them. it was ingenious and you thanked your stars that you were good friends with the commander.

“my name is tech. i’m from clone force 99, we sent the request for it three days ago.”

you knew this wasn’t crosshair! you’re not sure how you knew, but your gut knew. but the clone in front of you was in crosshair’s squad, which almost made up for the fact you still weren’t meeting your soulmate.

you commed fox and told him that tech was there to retrieve the rifle and his reply was swift and exactly as planned. “i’m sorry tech, but commander fox directly ordered me to not allow anyone that isn’t your squad’s sniper to retrieve the firepuncher.”

the man was thrown off by your words. he was dumbstruck and probably about to turn indignant, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by his vambrace beeping.

“did you get it?”

“the commander wouldn’t let me have it. his secretary said that crosshair specifically had to be the one to retrieve it, which is highly peculiar.”

an exasperated groan came from the vambrace. “just head on back, we can send him after it later.”

“roger that.”

you smiled at the trooper, hoping that his squad wasn’t too put out by the plan you were executing. “i’m so sorry about this, tech. i could try and convince the armory to part with a few toys to make up for the wasted trip if you’d like.” you said that with more confidence than someone who only learned its location three days ago should have, but it passed.

he pondered this a moment before accepting the offer. before he turned to leave, he saw something fall from the corner of his eye.

you were turning back to your datascreens when you were hit in the face with something you couldn’t identify. “ow! what in the world?” you found the culprit on the edge of your desk and when your brain identified it, you wanted to scream. “alright, that’s it! i’m buying that asshole a trash can as soon as i leave today! this is ridiculous!”

tech didn’t think anything of it at first. maybe one of the clones in passing flicked the toothpick at you while they were walking by and you were frustrated at them. once again he was about to leave but his hud started blinking at him, saying that it found traces of crosshair’s dna nearby.

now that couldn’t be right. crosshair wasn't even here with him and had never, to tech’s knowledge, been to this sector of the guardsman offices. his curiosity piqued, he asked to scan your desk and the area around it to see what could possibly have triggered his hud to send that alert. once you gave him permission, he began to search the area.

there was a multitude of small splotches of residual dna scattered on and around your desk that belonged to cross. tech knew for an absolute fact that none of the batch was in or anywhere close to coruscant during some of the approximate aging of the dna splotches. he looked at you and there was some on your face! and there was some on the thing in your hand that must have hit you-

oh holy maker, that’s a toothpick in your hand.

tech’s brain is speeding miles a minute as it tries to comprehend what could possibly explain this. each spot of residual dna is the approximate size of a toothpick, all with similar lengths and widths. the toothpick that just hit you in the face not only had crosshair’s dna on it, but the dna was absurdly fresh. the toothpick materialized out of thin air, he saw it happen.

he had come to a conclusion in moments, but he just had to test it. there was no way he was wrong about this though, not in a thousand years.

tech called for your attention once again, a glint in his eyes that you recognized as hellbent determination. “although you can’t give me the rifle, could you possibly give me its identifier code? describe its physical appearance in any way?”

every free moment since you found it has been spent studying that rifle, every scuff and mechanism that made it work. you wanted to learn about this thing that was so integral to your soulmate’s life, to who they were as a person. you knew it’s identifier code by heart and the armorer taught you how your soulmate used it.

there was even the tiniest word in aurabesh on the barrel — naberrie — which you recognized as senator amidala’s born last name. your soulmate must have named the rifle after her, a fact you found endearing.

you started with the identification code and after that, added a few of the unique characteristics that made the rifle special to your soulmate. the more you talked, the more awestruck tech appeared to grow.

“this is absolutely astonishing…” he takes a thoughtful pause, his eyebrows raising when he thinks of something else to say. “do you happen to have any bolt reflectors as well?”

with how interested tech was in everything you had to say, you would have thought he was your soulmate instead. it became apparent quickly that this was just how he is.

his current line of questioning was about some of the other things you’d found of crosshair’s while adding tidbits of information about the few things crosshair found that he knew about. turns out, crosshair was extremely secretive about your things. it was sweet that he was so protective of the things you lost but to tech right now, it was a hindrance to his discoveries.

you’d pause here and there while you worked, giving him more of your attention in small spurts. currently he was telling you the story of how crosshair found one of your high heeled shoes mid-battle. you had a feeling that tech wasn’t exaggerating when he spoke of him throwing it into a group of droids as a distraction and nailing one directly in the face.

you turned back to your work after a good fit of laughter, reaching for your stylus that you used to sign important documents in the place you would’ve swore you left it.

tech was quick to notice you looking for something and asked you what it was and what it looked like. you thought that maybe he was going to help you find the thing, but nope. he picked up his comm and asked crosshair if he had seen your stylus.

to his credit, crosshair didn’t let his perturbation be heard through the comm as he confirmed that yes, he did in fact, have your stylus.

“in that case,” tech gave you a look that said watch this before he continued. “i found naberrie and those reflectors you lost back on shangri-la.”

“you what?!” crosshair knew exactly what his brother was implying and couldn’t believe he didn’t think of his soulmate having naberrie after he lost it. but for tech to have found them first? he wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or enraged.

“i thought you’d be thanking me for finding your soulmate. talk to commander fox’s secretary, they’ll take care of everything.”

click.

tech had never felt so smug in his life. he knew the time before crosshair sought revenge for his antics was numbered, but he never felt prouder of his abilities. “as much as i’ve enjoyed talking to you, i fear that it may be time for me to go. we’ll keep in touch.”

he rose to leave and you got up with him, giving him a small farewell hug. “maybe i can soften him up so cross won’t throttle you in your sleep.”

“who knows? stranger things have happened today.” he hugs you back with a moment’s hesitation before leaving you to your work.

crosshair tore through the coruscant guard offices like a bat out of hell. finding the nearest trooper, he grabbed them by the bicep and snatched them into his space. “where is fox’s secretary?”

tech tried his luck by pulling that stunt with the stylus. cross and his brothers knew that tech had cameras installed in the marauder and that he could pull up the feed at any time. that’s the only way he could have known about the stylus. he couldn’t let himself believe otherwise.

the trooper didn’t seem too startled at crosshair’s brashness. “oh you’re looking for birdie? just follow the signs to fox’s office, they’ll be sitting right in front of his office at the desk.”

jackpot.

he quickly pushed the trooper aside before continuing his trek.

“you’re welcome!” the trooper called and crosshair just waved a hand in dismissal. he didn’t have time to deal with meaningless pleasantries with a reg, he needed answers. the toothpick between his lips cracked in two under the pressure. with a huff, he spit the useless thing out and continued.

crosshair soon found that the only difference between this building and kamino was that this one had directional signs. all the hallways in both buildings were painted the same as all the others and were just as winding, and they tested his rapidly dwindling reservoir of patience far too much.

it felt like hours before he finally found himself in front of the commander’s office and in front of him was your desk.

your empty desk.

he couldn’t believe it. all this searching and walking and anticipating to find an empty desk. oh he was gonna murder tech when he got back to the ship, that slimy weasel. using not just his rifle, but his soulmate as prank material was a line brothers just don’t cross.

he turned on a dime, itching to set upon his warpath and rain fury down upon his brother. then, he was going to tell hunter what happened and watch with sadistic glee as he tore into the dirty liar himself.

you were walking back to your desk one moment, then flat on your ass the next after bumping into something that definitely wasn’t there when you went to the refresher. getting up from the floor to see what could have possibly knocked you over, your eyes only had a moment to capture the stranger in front of you before something all too familiar landed directly into your eye.

“son of a bitch! seriously?!” make that two trash cans on your shopping list because this was out of hand. the toothpick was barely together, snapped by your soulmate’s teeth into a ninety degree angle and holding on by a splinter.

crosshair watched as you got up and immediately started to hold your eye. “are you okay?” he wants to smack himself for the ridiculous question. clearly you weren’t fine, you just had something fall into your eye.

nodding at the stranger, you wipe your eye one more time before walking back to your desk with a slight limp. did he really bump into you that hard? “i’m fine, thank you. my soulmate just has an affinity for spitting toothpicks wherever they deem fit and this is the second time one of them has landed on my face.”

you sighed and rolled your eyes, plopping down into your chair. “believe it or not, that’s actually not the weirdest thing they’ve lost. earlier this week i had a 773 firepuncher just show up at my desk before lunch,” you wave a hand in dismissal as you turn your chair to face him. “but you probably don’t care about that. now what can i do for you, trooper?”

crosshair was dumbstruck. the toothpicks, the rifle… it’s all coming together. “are you the one they call ‘birdie?’”

“yes i am, did you need anything specific?”

your eyes take in the clone in front of you. he was another that you wouldn’t have called a clone if he were wearing civvies. he was extremely tall and sinewy, his slate grey armor adding bulk that he wouldn’t have otherwise. silver hair cut short and a sharp jaw and chin, and a crosshair tattoo across his eye.

wait a minute, a crosshair tattoo! if he was here on official business you’d have to ask for his name anyways, it wouldn’t hurt anything. you’re about to ask the fated question when he begins talking once again.

“i’m here for a 773 firepuncher, my brother told me to find you.”

clone trooper taglist: @the-studious-porg @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @leias-left-hair-bun @obirain @olluea @catsnkooks @mackstrut @simping-for-fives @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @jedi-mando @whovianwar @hornystarwarsbisexual @janebby @fireghost-x @escapedthesarlacc @andysficrecs

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise!

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you. MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai: MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something: MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult.

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest. (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

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chaoticneurodivergent · 3 years

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Apologize in advance for this hot mess of a post and I'm probably going to delete it.

Did anyone else who is neurodivergent in any way (especially those who grew up undiagnosed) experience a kind of unique form of scapegoating where you were guilted, shamed, and blamed for things you had no control over for entire childhood by basically all of the adults in your life? Ranging from the classic "You're not living up to your full potential," "You're lazy," etc. comments that I know are common to essentially being treated as the villain child and compared to siblings and treated differently, and the reasons why were all linked to your neurodivergence?

(I explain my personal experience w/ this in the v long paragraph below, feel free to skip it if you don't want to read basically me venting, there's a tl;dr at end)

I know for a fact I was treated differently from my older sister my entire life. She was punished maybe once a month. I was constantly in trouble, and looking back, the things I was punished for were often linked to neurodivergence rather than stubbornness or disobedience. For example, I was in trouble for not falling asleep fast enough, for not being able to stay still in bed or be quiet for the long periods of time it would take me to fall asleep, for having trouble with chores (not noticing things, being slow, getting distracted, being inefficient), for getting distracted during schoolwork or for using improper tone of voice (constantly being told I was "rude" or "disrespectful" and getting told off for talking back when I explained that I truly didn't understand what that meant or how to fix it), for simply not being able to force myself to eat certain foods and being picky, for what I realize now was obvious stimming. After years and years of this, it became my identity in the family. I wasn't behaving badly, I WAS bad. I was called lazy, selfish, careless, trying to hurt everyone, stupid, manipulative, rebellious, disrespectful, disobedient, and too sensitive. But none of that came out of nowhere. I was inconvenient because of my neurodivergence, and since that was never diagnosed, my parents had no way of knowing. I had no excuse or explanation. So the neurodivergence and the bad experiences are so tied together that I can't fully separate them and blame either. Then on top of this, when I try to bring up my concerns, I'm just told "You're fine, you've never been abnormal, don't worry about it." It's hard for me to believe everything's normal and fine when they were the ones telling me I was all of these bad, abnormal things, that I was so different from other children. If I was truly fine and normal, either I truly am all of the things I was called growing up or my parents were just cruel without excuse. And I feel so much guilt, bc so many ppl who experienced scapegoating or verbal abuse were truly good kids. They did nothing wrong. I was bad. And no matter how much I was punished I couldn't be normal or good. But I didn't mean to be. I wanted so badly to be good and I just couldn't do anything right, I just couldn't be like my sister or my classmates. I couldn't do my homework, couldn't do the chores properly, couldn't fall asleep or keep track of anything in my mind or stop getting lost and confused with easy things and needing help. I truly don't blame my parents. I was not an easy child. But I didn't mean to be bad. So it seems like there's a unique experience of the intersection between neurodivergence and parents who maybe aren't the best at parenting. And that isn't mimicked really by anything else.

Tl;dr I don't know if anyone else experienced this or it's just a my family thing and I'm curious, but I'm thinking there might be a specific experience of being neurodivergent and being scapegoated / emotionally abused due to traits you have little to no control over due to parents or just adults in society who don't know how to deal with your neurodivergence and instead blame it all on you and expect you to figure out how to be normal or pay the price.

#Might delete this in like 5 minutes haha #I will regret posting it #But I want to know if I'm the only one sjakdj #Neurodivergent #ADHD #Autistic #ActuallyAutistic #And just btw #I didn't explain nearly all the neurodivergent traits I got punished for #There are a lot #But I truly wasnt a normal child #My parents weren't just being assholes

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rose-dragomir · 4 years

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there are a few things that bothered me about rose and dimitri’s relationship in the first few books:

some of these takes are on the characters themselves and how i would’ve liked them to be written, so it’s pretty much all opinion. this is not me saying i think the books were written “wrong”

that he was 24??

in my head i make him 22 to make myself feel better

(edit 7.27.21) ik when i made this post i said i’d be fine w him being 22 but no, i lied, he needs to be 20. ive made more posts about this recently if you wanna check them out

i also think him being 22 and just recovering from the loss of ivan makes it seem like he’s still growing up and going through his own development, rather then most of his character development being limited to his restoration and how he feels about his relationship with rose

there was a way to make their situation and relationship have less of a power dynamic and rm did not take advantage of that

there are a lot of moments where it feels like dimitri treats rose more like a problem and some of rose’s behaviors as annoying and inconvenient or even more childish than they are

and despite the book stressing how seriously she takes her duty as a guardian before she even has her promise mark, but when it comes to their relationship and the reasons not to pursue it she forgets a lot of that and it feels very out of character

i think that contributes to dimitri feeling he needs to take more of a power position in terms of where the relationship goes (ie stoping anything for happening)

but that dynamic put a strain on their friendship and put a lot of pressure on dimitri, and kinda makes him close up a bit

i really don’t like that dimitri is sometimes treated like rose’s handler by other guardians

i think dimitri being all brooding and serious is great, but it takes away from the humor he could’ve had. and ik he makes a few jokes but dry and deadpan humor would’ve fit his character really well and when played off of roses more energetic humor would’ve made their dynamic more fun

he kept doing this thing where they’d kiss and he’d pull a way and say it was a mistake and storm off, but it just kept happening

and i can’t imagine how frustrating that must have been to rose

more than frustrating, it must’ve hurt and made her feel unwanted and that she was the mistake

but she never calls him out for this, and says like hey what the hell stop being such an asshole about this

my point is, dimitri and rose could’ve had a much more equal and respect based friendship, especially bc he wasn’t her teacher, he didn’t grade her, etc, he was her mentor (essentially just her trainer)

as a matter of fact, i would’ve liked to see him have more interactions with rose’s friends, some in a professional capacity but also some in a more casual way

some things i think helped even the playing field in their relationship:

dont come after me for this but

rose getting into that fight with lisa right before she lest for russia was so necessary

i think that was the moment rose realized how little lisa was tuned into me rose’s life and gave both of them room to grow

so rose going off on her own in russia, really being on her own for the first time in her life, was really beneficial for her growth as a person

deciding what she wants and for once being free of any sort of supervision or responsibilities. the only person she had to take care of was herself

she felt like she had a duty to go after dimitri not because of her conditioning (the they come first mantra) but because of their love and respect for each other, that duty came from her, not her community

it also gave her a chance to be a responsible adult not for someone else’s approval, but bc she had to be

i feel that a lot of times when she’s making the “responsable” choice, it’s bc she’s trying to prove something to dimitri, which isn’t healthy

all in all, time apart, both while he was a strigoi and after when he was still pushing rose away, was good for both of them.

rose meeting dimitri’s family and staying with them and being treated like family bc he would talk about rose to them is so sweet. and i love that her relationship with them starts without him

then when they were on the run with sydney, they began to rebuild their friendship from the ground up. last sacrifice really felt like the book where they were equals and is probably my favorite book in the series

i also got super excited about rose going to college, i have so many headcanons for that if you wanna hear them

#vampire academy #va #romitri #vampire academy headcanons #dimitri belikov headcanons #rose hathaway headcanons #rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #va opinions

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slytherflynn · 4 years

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Old and New | Pt I

Blaise Zabini x muggle!reader

word count: 1971

summary: y/n is new to France on a study abroad trip. Blaise is visiting France post-Hogwarts. rags to riches story of an unfortunate muggle falling for a complicated, ridiculously wealthy person who just so happens to also be a powerful Wizard.

a/n: this started with an idea, became a moodboard, then became an entire fleshed out fic! I thought it would be short but my brain had other ideas. enjoy! note: I did write this from my personal perspective in life. as a result it is not very inclusive. I plan to change that with my next fics, I’ve just been having a really hard time lately and have been writing a lot of comfort fics and/or self-inserts to escape from irl bc irl is rly shitty for me rn

It’s a brand-new start, in a brand-new apartment, in a brand-new city, in a brand-new country... an ocean away from home. I can bring Tacoma to France, right? At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. Study abroad is fucking... scary. I kinda regret it. It’s a good opportunity and for someone who doesn’t travel, it should be a fun experience. But I’m currently having an anxiety attack over taking out the garbage, so I’m not sure my positive self-talk is working.

I look out the window of my top floor apartment, wait until someone finally finishes walking down the stairs, and run out my door - I nearly trip about five times going down the spiral of death, my arms feel like jelly thanks to perpetually pushing my garbage deeper in to avoid this trip, and I swing with all my might to hurl my garbage bag into the trash compacting dumpster - only it hits the bottom lip and falls to the ground, splitting open.

“Great!” I say, sarcastically, “First they send my luggage to the wrong location, then they try to say my passport isn’t valid because my apartment was a temporary address, then I’m greeted with a fridge full of rotting food and no power, then I’m bitten up by fleas and now - I just- fuck. Why can’t I just- do anything- right-“ I cut myself off when I hear a screen door slide and blink a couple times to erase the threat of tears that had been creeping up on me while I ranted.

When I look up, I see a tall, dark-skinned guy about my age - handsome. He’s wearing a suit, and expensive jewelry. Combine that with the fact he’s living in the apartment building next to me, which is worth more than my life just for one month of rent, and I put together that he’s probably rich beyond belief. I quickly look away, not wanting to stare. I silently pick up my garbage, piece by piece. As I work, I feel eyes drilling holes in the back of my head. I ignore it. It continues, and I still ignore it as I finally shove my ripped garbage bag in the compactor and slam the door shut. I hear a slight jump up above, and chuckle to myself.

I zoom back up the stairs and almost make it to the top, but I trip 5 stairs away from my door - and fall, hard. Body laid out flat hard. Cheek scraped and stinging from the metal grating on the stairs, hard. Lost the goddamned slide that caught on the stair, and can see it gradually falling, bouncing and rolling down the stairs, hard. I lift my head and see blood on the stair. I feel it running down my face. All I can think is that this really fucking hurts. The tears come, a combination of pain and frustration, and I pick myself up and stumble my way into my apartment, completely forgetting about the attractive rich boy who just watched me be a danger and inconvenience to myself.

I rush to the kitchen and grab a roll of paper towels, and run to the bathroom, I see the markings in the mirror and can tell it will leave a sizeable scar. Do I need stitches? I don’t know. Anyway, I start dabbing at everything and blood is still oozing out of every nook and cranny, to my displeasure. I’m about to start bandaging my face when I hear a knock on my door. “Fucking Christ!” I mutter to myself as I slap a wad of paper towels on my face and sulkily go to fling open my door.

I’m not sure who I’m expecting, but to see the same rich guy on my doorstep, slide in hand, probably wasn’t it. “Hey, um, I saw what happened, and I thought you might want your shoe back.” His accent sounds very British - I was expecting it to sound more like a snooty Frenchman’s.

“Oh. Um. Thanks.” I say flatly.

As my muscles twitch to begin closing the door, he says, “Would you like some help cleaning that up? I have certifications to give medical aid... and stitches. My name’s Blaise, by the way.”

Doctor, maybe? Probably. “Sure,” I say, opening the door wider and standing back so the blood doesn’t drip on his suit. “I’m y/n.”

A few minutes later we’re in my bathroom, me sitting on the toilet, him sitting on the bathtub as he helps me fix my face. “So, Mademoiselle y/n,” He asks, “Do you find yourself in these predicaments very often?”

“Which one? Poverty, flea bitten, or bloody?” I say.

“I suppose whichever you’d like to think I was referring to.”

“Well, in *that* case - I’m usually caught unawares in all kinds of predicaments - though I’d say self-injury due to clumsiness is an uncommon one. And do you usually find yourself in predicaments requiring you to treat someone’s wounds?”

“I used to, though now it’s only on the occasion.”

“Sounds like an improvement,” I note. “I won’t guarantee it, but I think I’ll get the hang of walking up the stairs soon enough, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind it if I did worry about you once or twice more. Why were you running? It seemed like you wanted to get away from something. Does your garbage compactor smell that disturbing?”

“It doesn’t smell great,” I admit, “But truth be told, I’m not a fan of human interaction. It’s scary. Especially when everything is new to me.”

“How long have you been In France?”

“A few days, just enough to get myself physically settled.”

“I see. And you are from America?”

“Mhm. Let me guess, my accent gave it away.”

“And the slang, I’ve yet to hear someone from France use certain terms that you seem to favor.”

“Oh, most of my slang is specific to my city, not just my country.”

“Your city?”

“Yea, Tacoma. It’s near Seattle, if you know where that is. Tacoma’s better, though.”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never been there. My mother is a fashion designer, but she only travels where there’s inspiration or a business deal.” So that’s how he gets the expensive clothes. The rest of the money too, probably.

“Must be nice, having a handmade closet.” I muse. “Not that I care for having any more clothes than I brought. They’re pretty reliable, if I do say so myself.”

He laughs. “Yes, well, if the blood stains don’t come out of your jumpsuit you might need a new one. They shouldn’t be too difficult to remove, though.”

“Yea, I’ll just dump a bucket of Oxi-Clean on it and call it a day. That is, if any stores nearby have it.” I frown, realizing I have no clue if France carries any of the products I usually get. This is gonna suck. Hopefully the internet has some answers so I don’t have to ask anyone for help.

“Why don’t I take your jumpsuit back with me? Save you the trip. Believe it or not, I used to have chronic nosebleeds, so I know a thing or two about stain removal.” Blaise offers.

I smile, only just. “Well, if you insist. But I love this jumpsuit practically more than myself, so I expect it back right away!”

He returns the smile. “A fan of fashion? You ought to meet my mother.”

I chuckle. “I’m sure your mom would despise me - I only own seven jumpsuits and some athleisure for going on runs.” I pause, then tack on: “Oh, and some fuzzy pajamas for when I’m sick.”

Blaise cocks a brow at me. “And when you’re not sick?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I grin mischievously.

A wave of recognition graces his eyes, and he very quickly looks away, I assume for being flustered.

“You Americans, always so scandalous.” He tsks in mock scorn.

“That’s what we’re known for, is it not?” I say cheekily, “Beer, boobs and gun barrels. And all the other problems that come with that, but that’s a can of worms I am not looking to open today.”

He ties off his handiwork, and says, “It looks like my job is finished, other than stealing your jumpsuit off your back to fix it. I can wait in the other room, if you’d like?”

“Um, yea, that works. Lemme just, grab my next jumpsuit. Gonna have to do laundry early, I suppose-“

“I can wash your jumpsuit for you. I’m pretty good at reading labels, if I do say so myself.” He jokes.

“Oh?” I say, “Then you must be a real genius! Who taught you, Einstein?”

“No, but it was another white-haired, eccentric man, so you’re not that far off.”

“When all teachers are like that it’s kind of impossible not to hit relatively close to the mark.” I remark, then change clothes as quickly as I can, tossing the dirty outfit into a trusty plastic bag and tying it shut.

When I walk out to the living room, Blaise is toying with one of my sculptures. He’s definitely been meandering and lurking around. “Enjoying yourself?” I ask, at which he jumps. “You’re rather skittish, Blaise.”

“And you’re rather quiet on your feet, y/n.” He observes. “But yes, I quite like your eclectic style. If only you had an apartment that let your customization shine. Something more minimalist.”

“Yes, well, it’s something I’ll forever dream of and likely never accomplish. I don’t suspect I’m going to be someone leaving the income level I was born into.” I say, just a little bit cynical.

“And why is that?” He asks.

“Because most people don’t, and the ones who do are the ones who make money. My career isn’t going to make me money.” I reply.

“So why did you pick it?”

I sigh. “Because somebody has to care about the people like me. The politicians don’t, the middle class don’t, and the rich are hell bent on keeping us there so they can have factory workers and have people going straight to prison after they graduate because we’re all desperate and miserable.”

He frowns. “That’s terrible.”

“It’s reality. And I don’t want to be like the people who get rich and stop caring because all they see is the wage difference and pretend it’s justified so they don’t have to feel complicit in the system.” I look him in the eye, my face grim. “Not all luck is by chance. Most of it is by design.”

He nods. “I understand, in a way.”

“Everyone does.” I say. “But understanding in a way and caring enough to do something about it are two different things.” I look away from him when I see his posture change. “I’m not trying to be rude, but it’s impossible not to notice the wealth gap between us when you’re wearing designer clothes and living in what looks like a mansion and I’m living in a building made in like 1900 with no elevator. It’s just the way things are, though.”

“I know.” He says quietly, thoughtfully. “I’d better get going. Your clothes?” He reaches out tentatively for the bag I’m still holding.

“Oh. Right.” I say, handing it to him. Our fingers brush against each other slightly, and it sends chills down my spine. He heads to the door while I’m rooted to the spot, collecting myself.

“I look forward to seeing you again, y/n.” He nods, meeting my eyes with a rather changed expression.

“I’ll see you soon, then?” I ask, not quite sure which answer I’m expecting.

He smiles, only just. “As soon as I am able.” Seconds later, he’s out the door, and I’m alone in my dingy ass apartment. How in the fuck did any of that just happen?

#Blaise Zabini #muggle!reader #blaise x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #lady zabini #harry potter #hp #imagine #fanfic #slytherflynn #part 1

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newhologram · 3 years

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I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.

My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"

I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.

I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.

#teku #personal #d o nut #reba gel #!#donut rebagel plz

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hookingminor · 4 years

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This can be for any player you think it fits. I'm probably the most accident prone person ever, and when I was with my ex it used to drive him nuts that I would injure myself in some small way then like not tell him? but I never thought it was a big deal so I'd like slice my finger open when making dinner, or fracture my arm bc I have no spatial awareness for doorframes (that actually happened I shit you not) and not tell him about it. To me I guess I just didnt wanna be a bother? (1/3)

(2/3) Shoutout to traumatic childhoods making you never wanna inconvenience others. Anyway, last week I fell down the stairs, classic. And walked around with cracked ribs and a broken cheekbone (how tf) for a couple days before realizing that the swelling in my face wasn't going down and it really hurt to breathe. All i could think about was if i had been with my ex he would have been driving me to the hospital immediately.

hi I didn't receive a part 3 if you sent it or if 2 was enough but I'm going to choose parayko for this bc this screams gentle giant

colton is literally so fucking protective

like he's just so large and such an inherent caregiver and wants to help everyone around him all the time

when he starts dating you, he cannot believe how fucking clumsy you are

constantly cutting yourself (not even with knives although you do that too but just like on sharp edges or literally anything), bruising like a banana, miscounting steps and accidentally rolling your ankle, slipping on ice when it's cold out, running into counters bc no spatial awareness

and it drives colton fucking insane

he's a worrier by nature so when the first time you injure yourself happens he's like ?????? why aren't you worried????? but you're just chill bc it always happens and it's nothing to stress about

he doesn't get used to it

every time something happens he's telling you to sit down or be still while he tries his best to tend to your wounds to which you roll your eyes to

and bam one day you break your leg

colton is away on a roadie so you don't bother to tell him knowing how he gets so you call a friend to drive you and they say u should tell colton but why worry him he has a game

he facetimes you after the game as usual and then he notices the hospital bed and gown and how you're not at home

"babe are you in the hospital?"

you can already hear him stressing and worrying and you have to act quick to calm him down

"it's nothing I promise. I'm fine. I just fell and broke my leg—"

"you broke your leg?!!!!!"

you don't even bother to try and say anything bc he is in full panic mode now questioning how u got there and how bad it is and that he's calling his coach right now to tell him he has to go back home

despite your protests, he comes home early and picks you up from the hospital

if if weren't for the fact he was so worried about you he'd be pissed off (he's still upset but he doesn't take it out on you)

the most doting caring boyfriend ever he won't let you do anything with a broken leg

physically picks you up and sets you back in bed if you try to do something

it gets annoying but he's so cute and the only way to not stress him out is to listen to his advice

it's soft night!

#colton parayko imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #my writing #requests #headcanons #blues55

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shoutoismybaby · 4 years

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WereDragons

Can I get a Fantasy AU scenario with Half dragon Kirishima where he’s just sent to find some food by bakugou and during the trip he sees a group of dragon shapeshifters around a half dragon girl who looks terribly hurt (like arrows and just sword wounds) and he sees the group just leave her there sad flushing away and he rescues her and from then on they fall for each other?

***

This is a repost bc tumblr ate the old one

This is sooo cute! Sorry its so long, Warnings of Blood, injuries, mention of Bakuraka

***

Kirishima didn’t usually mind being sent out for food by bakugou. He actually enjoyed getting his alone time to enjoy nature or walk through towns without the blonde yelling at him. Of course there was a reason Bakugou would often yell at him, especially in towns. The reason being that it could be dangerous for him to enter, no matter how much he loved talking to the new people he would meet, it was not a good time to be a weredragon. Dragons were known to be evil, greedy creatures who destroyed homes. So even being part dragon got you stuck with that reputation, and the horns, wings, and sharp teeth that remained even in human form made it hard to hide what he was. Kirishima knew that humans often attacked unprovoked because they were scared, but that didn’t make the wounds any less painful. He would fly away from every attack if he could, but weredragons had an extremely long transforming time due to the large size difference between their forms. Not to mention how helpless they were during the transformation, it often left them unable to fight as their body shifted, making Kirishima never transform without Bakugou around to keep a lookout.

Kirishima considered himself lucky that he had never been the target of an attack, most likely due to the fact that he found Bakugou when they were both young. The feral boy growing into a possibly more feral man whe chose Kirishima for a best friend. They would both defend one another to death, even though a certain person would never admit to such.

Being friends with Bakugou, however, meant being away on a constant adventure. Not that Kirishima really minded, he really never found a village he truly fit in at, even those that were peaceful. Plus, he loved exploring and could never turn away helping whatever village they came across. Which is why he often walked instead of flying when in search of food. It was harder to come across villages, yes. But he often found people in need of assistance. He liked to think he was changing the world's perception of dragons little by little, but Bakugou just thought he was gullible and too selfless for his own good.

But there was nothing the horned boy loved more than being someone’s hero.

So of course, when he heard panicked voices on his search for food he jogged towards the commotion right away. Quickly coming across a small clearing not too far away from the main path, littered with what looked to be other weredragons. Despite how his heart jumped in excitement at seeing some of his own kind, he remained hidden behind a tree. It was well known that some tribes of his species were, for lack of a better word, savages who attacked outsiders. It was while he was trying to see through the sea of about 10 bodies while also remaining in hiding that he began to hear soft whimpers and cries. From in between their legs, he spotted you. Laying on the ground as though you had collapsed, well you probably had. Your body was covered in blood and various arrows stuck out all over. Your face was contorted in pain, eyes squeezed shut. Kirishima's heart began to beat rapidly, why weren’t they helping you?

“how could you be so stupid?” Kirishima’s ears finally caught bits on the conversation.

“You weren’t raised to be so weak!” A males voice seemed to overpower the rest, he looked to be the leader, standing closest to you but showing no motive to tend to your wounds. “You know we can’t help you.”

Kirishima's eyes furrowed, what was this guy talking about?! You had fatal wounds that required treatment immediately.

“Please,” Your soft voice cut through, cutting off all other conversations. “I didn’t see them coming and there were so many.”

“That's your fault, and now you’ve probably led them to us!” The leader of the group spoke once again, and you visibly flinched. It was then that Kirishima's hunch about coming across a tribe was confirmed. Tribes had a hierarchy and, due to the current hunt on dragons in certain kingdoms, they valued strength above all else. And you getting attacked and so badly injured would do serious harm on your reputation. But from what it seemed, it was earning you excommunication.

“I’m sorry,” A sob racked your body and Kirishima couldn't tell if it was because of the pain or what was happening.

“Let's go.” The leader demanded. Kiri wished that he could jump into action right then. Convince them to stay and help you, but revealing himself would only put the both of you in more danger. Especially if they were right about the human that attacked you heading towards the group. The group seemed hesitant until the leader spread his wings, beckoning for the others to follow his example. A few looked sympathetic, but took off as the man did. Once they had finally taken off, shapeshifting into dragons once in the are, Kirishima made his way over to you. You had now curled into a ball as much as you could manage without inflicting even more pain to yourself. Your wings laid over your body, in a way that was hiding your face and that revealed how broken it was to Kirishima.

Upon hearing his footsteps you only curled into yourself more, releasing a pained hiss as the arrows were moved.

“I don't want to hurt you,” Kiri said, holding up his arms as though you could see them, “I just want to help. Your injuries look really bad. They could get infected... Or worse, if you don't let me help you.”

At this, you moved your wing from your face with a wince, and Kirishima's breath caught in his throat. He didn't think you’d be so beautiful up close.

“They’re probably not far behind, it would be smarter of you if you just left me.” You muttered, refusing to look him in the eye.

“Maybe, but I couldn't call myself a man if I did that either. Let me help, please.” He begged, getting increasingly worried as he noticed the blood pooling on the ground.

“What do you plan on doing then?” You asked,

“Well, I have a mage friend named Uraraka that lives in a small village a day or two from here called Tokyo. She’s taught me and my friend some healing remedies I could use in the meantime.” Kirishima explained, kneeling down next to you.

“You're planning on taking me to a village over a day away?” You asked, “Why?”

Kirishima looked up at you and sighed,

‘I don't know if you can feel it yet, you might still be in shock. But all these wounds, their fatal and-”

“And why do you care!?” You yelled, the people in your tribe had never done anything that didn’t benefit them. So what did he think he was going to get from this situation? A girlfriend? Because if so he could think again. “You don't know me, or anything about what happened to me. Why does it matter to you if I live or not if it's only going to inconvenience you?” Kirishima was taken back at your outburst. No one had really ever yelled at him when he was just trying to help them before. Well, other than bakugou, who ended up being his best friend. Which is probably why he didn't let your outburst faze him for too long.

“I don't know why I care, but I do and I want to help you. It wouldn't feel right to leave you here to die. What happened doesn't really matter to me. Now can I check your wounds?” He asked. You hesitated before accepting that he was your only chance at survival and nodded. You're adrenalin was wearing off and you could feel it. You knew the lack of blood was beginning to hit you, you began to feel drained and so, so sleepy. But each time he moved you to count your injuries a sharp pain from all over your body reminded you that you were very much alive. And you wanted to stay that way. It was a couple minutes before he spoke again, and you felt a lot calmer for some reason. “I’m going to pick you up and put you on my back okay? Its gonna hurt a lot but I need to get you to where my friend and I are staying.”

“A different friend, how many do you have?” You chuckled, “What are they like?”

“He can be aggressive and temperamental. And he doesn't really like other people.”

‘He sounds like an ass.” You yawned, but Kirishima just shook his head.

“He comes off that way, but he’s really not. Plus, he’s much better attending to wounds than I am.” Kirishima explained, and you had meant to respond. You really did. But it was at that moment you gave Kirishima a mini heart attack because you had blacked out.

The poor dragon boy had thought for a minute he had already been too late to save you. But in the end, he was glad you had passed out because it ended up making the travel to the cave he and bakugou had claimed much easier.

Sadly, it didn’t help with convincing Bakugou to help him.

“Bakugou please,” Kirishima pouted,

“Your pet, your problem.”

“She’s not a pet.” Kirishima frowned, laying you on the ground. “Please, her wounds are fatal.”

This is what made Bakugou look down from his spot on top of the cave.

“What happened?” He asked, making his way down to the ground.

“I think she got attacked by humans,” Kirishima explained,

“Wait, you don't know for sure!?” Bakugou asked, “How do you know she's not some sort of villain?” “Well, I watched her get kicked out of her tribe-”

“She’s from a tribe?!” “And it seems that she got attacked by humans. Please, Bakugou!” Kirishima begged once more, Bakugou took his sweet time thinking it over and glanced at your limp form. “Fine, but if she ends up trying to kill us. It's your fault.” He made his way down from the cave and growled as he got a better look at your condition. “Start cleaning her wounds, she’s going to end up needing a healing spell, but the potions I know how to make should help until we can get her to Uraraka. Also, you owe me for this”

Bakugou kept watch over you as the feeling of wind gliding through your hair brought you back to consciousness. Eyes opening to reveal the night sky, and you suddenly knew you were being carried on a dragons back. The tough scales under your fingers a familiar feeling, and the warmth that radiated from them was comforting. But you knew that no one in your tribe would ever carry you like this, and thus you began to remember what had last happened to you. You attempted to shift, being able to sit up once you got a hang of how the bandages around your body were wrapped. You went to pick at them only to jump when you heard a gruff voice sound from behind you.

“Go back to sleep, we’ll be there in a couple hours.” You turned your head to see the grumpy man who had finally decided to grab your attention. It didn't take you long to figure out that this must be the friend the boy had mentioned.

“Where?” Bakugou already decided he was annoyed with you, but he didn’t want to deal with Kirishima's whining if he ever caught wind Bakugou was anything but”pleasant” towards you.

“Tokyo, where the mage lives. He said he told you already” His red eyes rolled and he leaned back against the base of the dragon's neck, closing them. It was then that you realized you could probably get answers to the questions that had been brushed off before.

“When I asked him, he didn't really give me a clear answer but, why are you guys helping me out?” You asked, watching as he seemed to get more annoyed that you weren’t going back to sleep like he told you.

“Kirishima has a heart too big for his body, he’s always liked helping people even if it puts him in danger. Like an idiot.” You nodded your head and looked back out at the clouds and stars you were passing. “Since I answered your question. Answer mine. What kind of tribe were you a part of?”

“Well, it was,” You paused and thought for a moment. “The emphasis was on being the strongest. The stronger you were, and the better you were at hunting, the higher status you had. Which is part of the reason I got, you know, after being attacked.”

“You’re not strong?” The blonde cocked his brows,

“Not compared to the tribe, no. But I also wasn’t born there so I was always at a disadvantage to start with.” You explained,

“You weren't born to the tribe?” The boy began to look even more questionable of you. Tribes didn’t take anyone in. What made you so special?

“No, umm. My village got destroyed when I was little, leaving me alone and afraid in the woods. Where they found me and agreed to take me in. If that clears up anything for you.” You didn’t end up receiving a verbal response, but he seemed to be thinking it through. “What’s your name?”

“Bakugou. Don’t wear it out,” He demanded, “Yours?” He asked,

“(F/n).” He didn’t respond, and eventually, the exhaustion caught up with you once more and you laid back down. Letting the stars lure you back to sleep.

***

It didn’t feel like long before you were awake again, it was warm and you could feel the blankets piled on top of you. Your eyes found the detailed ceiling of a cabin. You sat up, realizing that the only thing left from your wounds was a dull ache. The room was empty, save for a small table holding various books and beakers filled with colorful fluids. You assumed you had made it to the mages, and the window near your bed informed you that it was almost dusk. You gently pulled yourself out from beneath the covers and walked over to the window, you seemed to be on the second floor, giving you a good view of what you remembered was called Tokyo. It was a busy village, you could many see shops and people bustling around below. The shops to close before dark, and the people to buy before the stores closed. Looking directly below you could see the blond from last night, Bakugou, who was talking to a short brunette in front of the cabin. She was handing him a piece of paper and he looked strangely calm, it didn't fit his face well. You would have continued watching, but you heard the door open from behind you. You jumped and turned towards the noise. But the impact of your knees back on the floor caused your knees buckle. Before you could hit the floor, however, you felt strong arms around you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” You looked up to see the face of Kirishima, his sharp teeth appearing through his smile.

“I-its okay.” You blushed, allowing him to help you up and sit you back on the bed. “Thanks for saving me, again.”

“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head, “It’s not a problem.”

“How long has it been? Since we met.” He paused and thought, sitting down next to you.

“About three days.”

“Three days! I’ve been with you guys for three days?” You asked,

“Did you have anywhere else to be?” He looked concerned,

“No, I don’t really have anywhere to go now. Can’t go back home.” You looked at your hands as you said this, the reality setting in. You were alone, you had no one and no place to call home anymore. The scars that littered your fingers seemed to mock you, you had worked so hard for so long. Now it just didn’t matter.

“Why don’t you join us, we’re always going on adventures and doing quests for money. And even though Bakugou says its dumb I think we can really help change how people see dragons. Really make a difference, you know?” You could tell there was a hidden meaning behind his words,

“Get humans to stop trying to kill us like they did to me.” You muttered, clenching your fist. Sure, you didnt have anywhere to go. But try to help humans to change their minds?

Humans didn’t seem the type to ever realise they were wrong.

“Yeah,” He sighed, “I know you probably don’t like them much but, they’re just like us! They get scared and-” “They almost killed me!” You turned to him, wide eyed and teeth bared.

“And two of them helped save you.” He pointed out. “If we want humans to stop assuming all dragons are bad, maybe we have to put faith in them. Even if they dont deserve it. Plus, you can leave whenever you want. It’s not like I’m trying to force you. Just, give it a try?”

His large hand was held out to you, big red eyes sparkling, and you couldn’t bring yourself to refuse him.

And just like that those three days turned into a year. A year that you spent traveling, going on adventures, completeing quests, and what had become your favorite of all. Helping people, and maybe the rewards that came with it. You couldn’t deny your inner want of a shiny hoard no matter how hard you tried. Especially when the group that had become your best friends also seemed to indulge in the occasional collection of jewels. It had been just you, the mage, Bakugou, and kirishima for the past 12 months, and it was the best time of your life. You had never been more free, but as the winter drew near, there was still something you wished for.

“(Y/n)?” You turned to look back into the cave your group had claimed for hte night,seeing Kirishima make his way over to you. “What are you doing up?”

“Can’t sleep.” You answered simply, shivering as a cool breeze moved through the opening where you sat. You looked behind the half-dragon to see Bakugou and Uraraka cuddled up near the fire, you were happy for them. Yet bitter. You turned back to admire the stars as Kirishima sat down next to you.

“Not a comfortable enough cave?” He attempted to joke, but you just shrugged.

“No, it’s just,” You shifted, “cold.”

There was a sudden warmth through your body as he set his arm around your shoulder, and pulled you close.

“You could have just said so,” You let yourself relax into his hold, “but I dont think being so far away from the fire is helping any.”

“Probably not,” You chuckled, “but I needed some time to think.”

“About what?” Your eyes widened at the question, if he really knew what you were thinking about he wouldn’t have asked. Day dreaming about an impossible future you had with him was stupid. Bakugou would have mocked you for being as airheaded as Kirishima, but you couldn’t help it. Not when he smiled like that. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

You sighed, turning your face towards his own. You were so close. His nose almost touching yours and you could feel his breath fan over your face. It made your brain scramble.

“My lips are cold, too.” You blurted out, face immediately turning red once you realized what you said. But you weren’t going to back out now, you weren’t that kind of person.. “If you want to, you can warm the-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. They were hot, almost burning, but you loved it. Too soon when he pulled away, a dorky smile on his face.

“I want to warm your lips up for the rest of my life.” his voice was breathless and you couldn’t help but giggle at him,

“I won’t stop you.”

***

#kirishima x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #dragon kirishima

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fairycosmos · 4 years

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chloe what do you do when you feel really suicidal? but like not like before- but NOW that you are grieving such a painful loss? dont need to answer but i read your a. to the anon that felt trapped and like they couldnt leave now bc their sibling died too and like you and that anon i feel the same. im so so suicidal chloe. i cry every day and night and i feel despertate but my parents just lost their child so. how do you cope... as much as its possible. what do we do? fuck.

dude i am so sorry you're in the same position as me and you are going to hate me for saying it but there is no satisfactory answer 😔 it's a cruel joke. we're in the worst pain we've ever been in, and our instinct is to want to make that stop. but we can't because now we're obligated to stay alive, where all the hurt is, because we're one of the only ones left. and we dont want to cause more of this feeling by ending it all. it's like a contract you didn't agree to and are now trapped in for the foreseeable. grief is the absolute heaviest thing a person can carry, it's a fucking nightmare. it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't have a cure and it's disorienting as fuck. it's ok to be exhausted by it. reality has been irreparably worsened and it's an absolute tragedy, it's completely unfair. personally i'm more suicidal than i've ever been, but like you, i know i'm not going to do anything. and in moments of great pain, where i want to act on those thoughts, i find myself coming back to that fact. i watch the idea of suicide run its course through my head and then i acknowledge the reality of things, that i can't leave. that it doesn't matter how sad i am and how tired i am, because i'm still here, and processing these emotions is a part of that. the urge to kill myself is there, but the actual act of suicide has never been less of an option than it is right now. so i can feel whatever i need to feel, but there's no point leaning into it or daydreaming about it. because it's not going to happen. sometimes i'm screaming and crying to myself in absolute agony while this is all going on, and sometimes i'm just sitting staring at my phone, numb. the desperation is very real, and i understand that. but it is not as urgent as it feels in the moment. no matter how many times i think i'm at my limit, i know that there's going to be tomorrow. and at the moment that sounds like a really bad thing. but i know that by waking up my parents aren't getting a call saying i'm dead, which for now is kind of the whole point. i am living to minimize their trauma, i am living for them, and an optimist would have hope that that could keep me alive long enough until i get to the point where i can eventually live for myself again. i could definitely see that for your future, even if you can't. the thing is you don't have to know what to do and you dont have to look for ways to fill the void that has been left behind by your sibling. you just have to learn to exist alongside it, and i do mean just exist. as awful as it is. waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, crying and crying and crying. that is good enough. i know it doesn't feel like much of a life, but. it's the short term answer, or so it seems to me. another thing i remind myself of is how it all comes in waves. waves are the nature of both grief, and strong suicidal urges. maybe they're always running in the background, but the moments of pure despair where you feel like you're bursting at the seams, they're so strong and harsh that they flare out faster than you realize. and they feel unbearable, and i know those moments are very frequent when you're in our position, but it's good to remember that the intensity of their nature makes them temporary. especially if the grief is fresh, every little thing triggers an avalanche of hopelessness. but some part of me believes these experiences will either a. become less persistent with time or b. become a part of us we learn how to navigate. at the moment, the simple act of being completely broken by these episodes means you're surviving them. i think it's not a matter of knowing how to cope, but knowing that if you're here to ask these questions - what do i do, how do i go on, etc - then that is proof you have been coping. and it probably doesn't feel like you have been. i think there's a common misconception that coping is thriving, letting go, having positive memories. and sure that's a part of it. but there is a lot of darkness and absolute horror to work through before that. additionally, there is no rule book on how exactly to work through it. theres just time, experience, learning what works for you and hanging on. i'm trying to hold my own hand through it, i'm trying to look at the present moment i'm in and just think about what i need at that very second. not what i'm going to do tomorrow, not what i should've done yesterday, but what i have to do right now to make it through. a lot of the time the answer is nothing, and i just sit and stare or cry, because like i said, ultimately nothing can fix it. theres no epiphany that can change what happened.

as far as practical things you can to do combat suicidal thoughts goes, i have a few suggestions that i really hope you consider as viable choices: talk to your doctor/therapist - idk where you live or what your financial situation is like, but if it's at all an option i would really urge you to seek professional help. at least let your GP know what you're dealing with so maybe they can refer you to a therapist, or give you some mental health resources. grief counselling is also a step in the right direction. having someone to talk to and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your day to day life, even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do, can work wonders. understanding your own suicidal thoughts, why you react the way you do and what you can do about it, can really come in handy when you're breaking down. it's ok to reach out. it's ok to visit different counsellors until you find one that fits you. it's ok to treat your emotional turmoil as seriously as you'd treat any physical disease. there is always support and treatment options available in some form, and it is always worth looking into.

call a (grief or suicide) hotline - i've had the hotline number open in my browser for days. if you are in a moment of crisis, it can absolutely help to have someone talk you through your emotions, listen to your pain, and then give you some gentle recommendations as to what you should do next or where to go from here. you don't have to tell them your name, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. you're in control of the call and they care about keeping you going. you're not alone. theres also online grief support groups - i'm in a sibling loss group on fb. it's absolutely crazy how many people are in this position.

talk to your parents/family/friends - i know saying 'this is a tough one' is a giant understatement. idk if it's the same for you, but i've been isolating to cope and i don't want to tell anyone what i'm thinking because they're already having such a hard time grieving my sister. but if there's anyone you trust, i just want you to know it's alright to lean on them. it's up to you how much you open up, but the urge to keep to yourself leads nowhere. those around you can relate (to an extent) with your grief, and sharing it, talking about memories and crying together - it's fucking awful, god it's the worst thing ever, but it's necessary. and i don't want to say it helps, but a shared burden is always better than trying to shoulder it alone. you deserve to be listened to and supported. and if you think you're being an inconvenience to your loved ones, that's your inner self hatred talking. they would likely rather be there for you when you need it, than have you harm yourself because you kept it all pent up. it's a lot easier said than done, but it's important to keep in mind that it's an option.

try to create a safe space - try to remove things from your living space you could use to harm yourself with, and make the environment as comforting as possible. refer back to safe coping mechanisms/ distractions that have worked in the past - this can be as simple as going for a walk, watching stupid shit on your phone, meditation, having a crying session, writing to your sibling or just about how you feel in general. these are not suggestions that will solve anything or cure mental illness by any stretch of the imagination. they just get you out of your head. that can really make a difference.

create a crisis plan and learn what triggers you - this is a bit of a process but that's alright. being able to identify what sets you off, and being able to recognize your own toxic thinking patterns/behaviours, is the first step towards combatting them. another idea is, if you do end up talking to a loved one or a mental health professional, come up with a plan with them regarding what they should do when you're suicidal and your judgement is impaired. you can even start by just making one for yourself, like writing down a few suggestions as to what you should do when you're in a crisis, what your other options besides suicide are.

i think that's all i've got right now. i'm sorry this got so long, especially when i know nothing truly helps. i just know what it's like having all this useless life in front of you that you're going to have to fight through without the one person who always should've been there. i keep thinking about what she'd say to me if she could see me, and i know she'd be livid if i threw my life away, but. that doesn't change the fact that she didn't get to live hers, and that i miss her so so much it aches. i keep coming back to the idea that our relationship will continue to grow beyond death. i can still talk to her, reminisce with her, understand her, love her. so much of this reality was shaped by her. it's not the same as when she was here, but it's not total absence either. anyway, i'm so so sorry for your loss and i hope you can just focus on taking care of yourself, love. because your life still has so much worth and you deserve to see your own future even if you cant stand the thought. moments of happiness and peace are still 100% possible. it's just never going to feel like it did before. and it's ok if you spend the rest of your life struggling to come to terms with that fact, because at least you got to live the rest of your life. i'm sending so much love to you and i'll be here if you need a friend. one day at a time.

*no pressure to read all this you can just refer back to it whenever you feel the need

#anon #tw suicide #long post #sorry i dont shut up💖 this 1 hurt

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szivtalan · 4 years

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character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀

!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)

Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.

Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.

Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.

Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?

Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.

Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam

OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.

Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them

Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.

Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.

A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.

5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues

My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby

Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.

Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.

Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!

Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?

Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them

OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.

Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.

Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are

A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that

5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart

My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t

Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)

Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably

Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst

Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?

Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.

Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.

OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It

Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time

Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets

Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.

A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no

5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess

My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon

Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh

Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That

Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro

Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur like 17 stop speaking like That

Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami

OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me

Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well

Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....

Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him

A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.

5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child

My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu

#ask and i shall answer #izukillme #himuro tatsuya #alex garcia #momoi satsuki #kagami taiga #this is long as fuck #also happy birthday himuro??!!!!!

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marveloussupernerd · 4 years

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Hey! I was wondering if you would match me with a character from Mystic Messenger and Marvel? I have no gender preference so go hog wild. My form is pinned to my blog so I hope it wont be too inconvenient for you. I just find that humans have a tendency to be more complicated than 500 characters so it is difficult to accurately represent myself within those limitations. Thank you in advance, dear!

No problem!! Sorry this took a while but I hope you like it!!!!

Mysme

I ship you with 707!

I just finally reached the clarity that his real name is a spoiler for ppl that like they get upset if they find out so uh, I’m correcting that now lmaoo

Well you’re about as tall as him

Until you wear your boots

Then you’re taller

I know sometimes that bruises men’s egos but it literally does not affect him at all

Except when you’re walking too fast he whines that you need to slow down because your legs are longer than his

The first time he saw your resting face it kinda freaked him out

What did he do wrong? The two of you were just watching tv. Did you not like the way he had his arm around you?

Now that he knows that’s just how you look he doesn’t worry about it

He teases Yoosung by using it to his advantage

“Yoosung I think you pissed her off. Oh my goodness! Didn’t you know!? She can’t stand the color purple. Gives her bad memories. You’ve probably scarred her for life”

And then Yoosung is apologizing to you and you have no idea why

It’s Seven’s way of messing with both of you

The first time he tried to make his move by putting his arm around you and you flinched, he almost cried

No literally

He just... he hadn’t realized it was a thing to dislike it like that

Respects it so much

But he wants hugs so bad :( someone needs to hug this poor boy

So when you eventually invite him over and cuddle up to him during a very late movie night?

His heart jumps in his chest

He tries to tell you that you don’t have to!! He understands how it makes you feel weird and it’s okay; he likes you so so much and respects you a lot

But secretly he looks forward to whenever you want to cuddle with him; the rarity of it makes it even more special

707 is the king of witty comebacks

The first time the RFA sees the two of you bantering with each other they think you’re fighting? Because you’re both so passionate about being better and wittier than the other

You laugh about their confused faces later that night

He’s an over the top flirt too

Tries to woo you with ridiculous romantic gestures

He’s literally a theater kid too you cannot convince me otherwise I was a theater kid as well so I know

Literally every romantic gesture in a romcom? He does it

Of course he expects a reaction out of you but. You. Never. Budge.

Not even after he stole the microphone during the latest RFA party to confess to you that he was carrying your child

Which made NO SENSE

He’s not allowed microphones anymore. Or stages.

When you tell him you’re asexual he’s so respectful (as always)

You literally don’t have to do anything like that if you don’t want to

He’s more than happy with your cute lil domesticated life together

Okay this is off topic but I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY AERIAL SILKS

When he first sees your bruises he FLIPS

did someone hurt you? Who? He’ll hack into their computer, give them hell

The first time he sees you perform... wow

YOU’RE SO COOL AND GRACEFUL AND ELEGANT

he wants to try it and literally begs on hands and knees for you to teach him

He’s bad at it. Learns he’s afraid of heights too

But he tries to watch you perform as often as possible

Noticed you don’t give out compliments often

So it’s his job to come up with a creative new compliment to give you every single day

It ranges anywhere from “I like your shirt” to “you’re so beautiful” to “I admire that you’re able to parallel park my babies.”

Please help him with procrastination

You literally will not hang out with him if he has work to do

He pouts and whines, but ultimately gets his work done

You’ve really helped out his work and his work schedule

He literally hates parties and clubs and bars

Much prefers taking you out at night to look at the stars

If you’ll let him, he’ll drive you to a secluded place in the mountains so that you can see them better

After reassuring you 800 times that he isn’t gonna murder you (you weren’t worried, but he was afraid you thought he would)

He likes to watch murder mystery movies with you

It’s really just a contest to find out who guesses it right first

But after he kept losing he changed it to how ridiculous of a motive he could describe and how close to correct it may be

“She said she has a twin right? Well her eye color is different from her photos. How do we know they didn’t grab the twin on accident? Or the twin isn’t pretending to be her or something”

HOW could he have guessed that

Sigh this is rlly inspired by me bc I did this exact thing and guessed the plot twist

Overall, he’s just really respectful of you. Drinks respect women juice 24/7. Loves complimenting you and spending time with you and never letting you forget how amazing you are.

Marvel

I ship you with Loki!

The Seven one was kinda easy

Prob because there aren’t that many mystic messenger characters

But BOY I struggled here

Until I thought of Loki, I hadn’t even considered him at first (my sister brought him up, as she helps me come up with who to match ppl with)

And YES

He was first drawn to you by how elegantly you carried yourself

Most Midgardians just kind of, slouched through the day

But you stood with impeccable posture, resting most of the weight on your toes. He thought you were some form of royalty at first

And then he saw you perform hoo boy

Okay first of all he definitely had no idea what was happening for a majority of the show

But he kinda liked you and so when you invited him to go he was THERE

Couldn’t stop complimenting you. He thought you were elegant before oh wow

He’s literally not intimidated by you at all, think of all the people he’s had to meet and BS he’s had to deal with

You’re touch-adverse? That’s fine by him

Honestly he doesn’t like cuddling or anything like that himself. Blame it on his childhood or something idc

He will throw insults right back at you. In fact, he usually doesn’t hold back

Okay they’re never inherently mean but I don’t know they may be kinda questionable

He wouldn’t insult you if he knew you couldn’t handle it

He is NOT very flirty

And by that I mean he will not flirt. Like he just cannot

He still gets lowkey pouty when you flirt with other people, but he can’t blame you. It’s not like he does a good job showering you with that sort of attention and compliments himself

But he does give you attention in other ways

He likes to sit with you, watching as you bake or write or something. He finds it very relaxing

In those moments, that’s when he lets the compliments run wild, talking about how you’re so talented and he likes how you look when you’re concentrated

These moments are the softest he gets. He doesn’t like showing this vulnerable side around anyone else

HAHA can you PLEASE go knife throwing together

You’re both very competitive about it

You know that scene from brave where she shoots her arrow THROUGH another arrow!?

That’s all I can picture but with knives

Homeboy is doing 0 archery with you 0 horseback riding he doesn’t trust those disgusting creatures and archery makes him think of dealing with Clint

He makes fun of you when you see a moth

Like does not let it go

“I thought you weren’t afraid of anything. You’re afraid of this little creature? It doesn’t even know up from down,” he chuckles, pointing at the moth flying around and hitting walls recklessly

Needless to say though he takes care of it for you

He throws an Asgardian party just so he can show you off

Thor’s girlfriend was very unimpressive but you!? You’re so charming to everyone

He really just wants to brag about it to his brother, and you know this full well and let him do so

Y’all like to read together before bed

By reading together I mean sitting on the same couch reading your own books

When you yelp when you’re surprised???

What happened to your poker face?

As much as he wants to find different opportunities to jump out at you and make you squeal, he refrains himself from doing so

It makes the moments when you do freak out much more entertaining

I’d say you’ve very on par with Loki; you have a lot of things in common and a similar approach to life in general

#marvel #mystic messenger #mysme #matchup

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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How do you think things would have changed if Five has come back even younger than in canon? Like if he came back as 7 or 8 or even younger? Also, I love your writing. You’re an amazing writer and I love reading your stuff.

first of all that would be hilarious because as much as media has tricked you into thinking older child actors (who are easier to work with) are younger (I mean case in point, Five is supposed to be thirteen but the actor is fifteen and those two years can make a big difference at that age) or animated movies can’t decide on a size for their character, but for real seven-year-olds in real life are BABIES

that’s like. the equivalent of a second grader?? I think i was about to go into year three living in the netherlands. I thought the year six kids were ancient. I didn’t care about bodily harm and would just hurl myself into cartwheels and handstands (nowadays not so much)

That was about the age I was losing teeth for the Very First Time and also the age I almost gave myself a concussion playing on the playground equipment (I blacked out and woke up in the nurses office lmao) and I thought the singing talents of Sandy from Hamtaro were the greatest in the world (the twirling ribbon song was formative for me)

seven was also the age for me that i realized that romance was The Worst because my best friend george decided that the pulling pigtails version of bugging me was a sure fire way to get my attention or something like that. but like,, george and me had chicken pox together. we pretended we were cheetahs in our treetop bunkbed nest together (we had a very loose grasp of the difference between cheetahs and jaguars and other big cats, admittedly). He was my best friend he didn’t need to pull my hair or anything rip

like can you even IMAGINE if five came back as a second grader?? yeah like maybe someone would serve thirteen-year-old Five black coffee but no one is going to just hand this baby child anything with caffeine are you kidding me

his feet wouldn’t even be able to reach the peDALS OF THE CAR

wow this would inconvenience him so much

i can’t even find a picture of my brother that young smh but here’s him and me when he was? probably about nine or ten and I was actually probably about six and smiling with a closed mouth to hide the fact that i was missing teeth or something smh

that is TWO WHOLE BABIES right there i’m just genuinely dying at the thought of Five popping out and he’s just. a gradeschooler. that suit would have been swimming on him and he’s got little chubby cheeks built to absorb shock and whatever atrocious child haircut he had at that age

(i have posted before about my genuine shock that five was ten in the comics. ten!! that’s a whole baby! a child! W H A T)

but?? does he pop up from jumping through his portal and look in the mirror and find that he’s missing some teeth? Can he whistle air through the gaps? i’m just picturing seven-year-old five getting socked in the face and losing some teeth or something and diego is right there to patronizingly tell him that it’s okay they’re probably just baby teeth and five is about to punch diego’s teeth out in a second if he keeps that up by jove

imagine five jumping and standing on the counter and he still can’t reach the marshmallows because they’re on the top shelf of the cupboard do you know how angry that would make him?? he would have about 60% less time for his siblings bullshit than normal because his small stature can only hold so much emotion at any one time and he has decided to go with seething rage for the foreseeable future

can you imagine how difficult that would be for Allison though?? Five at thirteen was bad but Five-at-around-Claire’s-age??? a billion times worse and she’s probably going to either be super avoidant because it’s painful or full on protective mama bear

it would definitely change a lot of plot stuff because i mean. no one’s going to let this tiny child drive. he can’t reach the pedals, duh. however, he might persuade one of the siblings (diego and klaus, probably) to drive him to griddy’s instead? Because with the options being “so help me i will walk there myself. alone. at night. as a small and innocent looking child” and driving him and keeping him company i think the latter wins out

(i’d nix griddy’s altogether but i’m way too invested in hazel and agnes getting together tbh)

hey wait does being that young mean that five doesn’t have his umbrella tattoo?? huh. well regardless if diego and klaus accompany him then the plot point of agnes telling the assassin squad about the tattoo can still happen so i guess it’s a moot point

but honestly the drama of having this tiny child just. completely annihilate the hit squad is hilarious to me, and it would also hit home the fact that hey! five might be telling the truth about everything and isn’t messed up by time travel! i mean whomst the fuck else would walk into a room and zero in on the seven-year-old no one else knows exists or is assumed dead by literally the whole ass world (and even if they didn’t he’s supposed to be 29) and demand he come with them and shit like man

Klaus: hey five what do you have

Five, stabbing his own arm to take the tracking device out: a knife

Diego: NO

other fun points include: the siblings bodily picking five up and five behaving like a very aggressive small breed of dog while simultaneously being super touch-starved and secretly appreciating being carried but would never admit it (whilst sober that is)

either they kept the old uniforms and five wears that or they have to scrounge up whatever they can find which means that five is dressed in some of claire’s clothes allison found stuffed in the bottom of her suitcase until they can go shopping and i’m not sure which is better tbh

hazel and cha-cha assuming that five is actually either diego or klaus bc those were the two adults in the coffee shop with the umbrella tattoo and eventually being confronted with the fact that their legendary adversary is a gradeschooler

five just being. so tired. all the time. my bedtime at seven years old was probably like. 8:30PM. kids need a lot of sleep!! so just five trying to keep himself awake because he has important stuff to do!! but doing the nod and bob because he can’t keep his eyes open

the trying-to-be-helpful but mildly-condescending strangers who stop five or talk down to him increase by tenfold. Teenagers out an about on the street along? eh. a seven-year-old? five is going to get so many concerns “where are your parents, sweetheart?” that he IS going to snap and kill a well meaning middle aged woman in the middle of the street

in a similar note the number of people who assume that he is the child of whatever sibling he happens to be in proximity to also increases tenfold and five does Not Appreciate This (and neither do half the siblings tbh bc now they have to pretend that they are responsible for this tiny feral child)

“FUCK” five says, loudly, prompting gasps from the delicate natured passerbys.

“you can’t fucking say that, dude, you’re like. a baby.” klaus says, equally loudly and making everyone in earshot 70% more scandalized

“I am not associated with them” diego informs the masses with an edge of desperation

luther is just. so massive next to this tiny version of five. he could hold him in like, one hand. and maybe luther at one point was really good with kids but with his new body he’s awkward and it’s very sad

no one bats an eye at child Five toting an Entire Half of a Mannequin that is probably as big as he is around. Billy’s kid is currently emotionally attached to a brick he found in the alley behind his school. Gertie’s granddaughter refuses to leave the house without an old sock filled with pebbles tucked under her arm. Gary’s stepkid found a piece of driftwood on the beach and now it’s in their bed every night. Kids are weird and at least Five’s has a face for him to talk to i guess??

instead of luther threatening dolores he just looks at five with this gun that is way too big for him to have a hold of really and just. reaches out and scoops five up under his armpits and he’s just furiously wiggling and growling and luther is like “nope not putting you down until we agree that murder is not a solution”

every interaction with the handler is probably about 112% more creepy honestly but also what about the job?? either five a) gets an appropriately child sized desk like the ones you find in an actual gradeschool or b) he gets some kind of boosterseat for his chair and just has to sit at this desk that is comically oversized for him

the squad go to a restaurant and the server brings over the menus and hands five a children’s menu. without a word klaus just plucks it from five’s hands and substitutes it for his own because they have been kicked out of six whole restaurants and he is willing to eat the children’s chicken nugget meal if he had to god damn it

the apocalypse doesn’t happen because vanya is literally incapable of hurting a grade schooler right in front of her regardless of how pissed off at her family in general she is. that is a whole child. vanya works with children for her job. she can’t hurt an entire child in front of her?? like she can destroy the world and all the abstract children but this one child right in front of her? who is also her long lost brother and former sole confidant as children who wasn’t there for any of the general bullshit she just went through?? not so much

but like. even after the stop the apocalypse there’s still the issue of what to do with this entire child. like at least as a teenager five would be able to be somewhat independent but seven-year-old five can’t reach the sink to wash his hands without a step stool

just the squad coming together to look after five without quite letting five know that’s what they’re doing because they don’t want to wake up to a knife in their chest or anything smh

five and claire meet and become an unstoppable duo of terror. patrick is an actually competent parent who is so exhausted 24/7 from raising his daughter that he just accepts five immediately because?? his brother-in-law being a time travelling 58-year-old in the body of a grade schooler who is partially feral from over forty years alone and probably has untreated ptsd? okay might as well happen

patrick “i didn’t trust allison with a child and yet i still trust her way more than the rest of you so i’m going to schedule five a doctor’s appointment or something because god knows he’s probably not up to date on his vaccinations and he’s hanging around claire and i doubt any of y’all even thought about that” hargreeves

the hargreeves all go to an amusement park as a family bonding activity. the mistake becomes clear when it’s revealed that five is too short to go on half the rides. the resulting meltdown gets them all kicked out and Diego just has five tossed over his shoulder still hurling insults at the ride attendant as they hoof it out of there

the family has to figure out everywhere they can go within walking distance because there’s still a cold war going on between allison and five over whether he has to be in a booster seat for any car rides or not

it’s basically just shenanigans with the family and five trying to figure out how to coexist and compromise and also look after one another when it’s been every man for themself pretty much all their lives

#this post is a mess tbh #far tua long #tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #number five #i think seven might have been the age i learned to ride a bike without training wheels #but i also had one of those little seats on my mum's bike for when we actually had to go somewhere at some speed #to be fair i lived in the netherlands which is like the bike capital of the world or something #i rambled so much but like #seven is a CHILD #i feel like movies and tv shows and animated stuff messed up our perceptions on how child a child is but here we go

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heylookafanfic · 5 years

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AUTHOR’S NOTE: The reader is college aged, so about 19-26 years old :). I’m also going to try my best with making all my imagines gender neutral! I might accidentally forget in the future so, please don’t hesitate to remind me via inbox! Enjoy!

Pairing: Jim Hopper x Reader, Robin x Reader

brief summary: You and Hopper are dating but after a conversation with Robin at work, you start to feel a bit insecure bc of the slight age gap in your relationship.

word count: 1,911 words requested: no, this one came to mind warnings: age gap, mention of abuse, mention of anxiety, mention of depression (drinking and smoking as a coping mechanism), but mainly fluff!

You worked at Scoops Ahoy with Steve and Robin as a summer gig. College is expensive and textbooks aren’t going to pay for themselves. You actually enjoyed working in there because it was in the mall which meant after you got off for the night, you got to grab a large piece of gooey pizza from the food court. The absolute highlight of your day.

12:45pm - Lunch time.

Steve offered to stay out front and sell ice cream while you and Robin ate lunch in the food court. You sat down and began eating a bagged lunch that Hop packed you.

“What’s that say? Robin asked

There was a Post-It note taped to the side of your lunch

She pulled it off and mockingly read: "Have a great day pumpkin!”

“Pumpkin???” she chuckled

“What? Your mom doesn’t call you little pet names?” you defensively joked

The note was obviously from Hop but you quickly played it off like your mom wrote it.

“My mom and I are on a first name basis - the only thing she calls me is Robin” she chuckled

“You should call her Batman so you guys will be Batman and Robin” you laughed

“Yeah, never happen– woah”

Robin looked past you which made you turn around

“What?” you asked

“Tammy Thompson. Floral romper. Next to Taco Bell”

“I see her but, what about her?”

“ ‘Grade school crush’ Tammy Thompson”

“OH” you said as you caught on

“Dude, she got hot! Like, she was always cute in grade school but she’s gorgeous”

“Is she still your type?

"I don’t know. I don’t really have a type Y/N”

“I find that hard to believe. You think Phoebe Cates is– and I quote, ’outrageously hot’ ” you joke

“SHE IS!” Robin laughs

“What about you Y/N? You got a type?”

“Not really. If the right person comes along, then whatever happens, happens” you shrugged

“You liar, I see you hangin’ around that sheriff dude all the time. You can’t tell me you don’t have the hots for him”

“What?! No! Never in a million years. Hopper’s a family friend and only a family friend”

“Are you sure about that because, every time he stops by the shop, I see the way you make googly eyes at him” she said

“Googly eyes? Maybe that’s you making googly eyes at him Robin!” you laughed

“I like girls, remember?” she laughed

“Well, that’s good news because I was about to say, he looks quite a bit older than you” she continued

You continued eating your lunch but still listened to what Robin was saying

“Like, imagine dating some dude old enough to be your dad. Like, he’d hold your hand while you cross the street and he’d read a bedtime story before bed and you gotta get permission to leave the house and think about what it be like having– christ, I’m gonna vomit!” she laughed

You were secretly hurt by what Robin said because little did she know, she was right about you and Hopper except it’s not a crush– you and Jim are going on 8 months in a serious relationship. It all started after fighting off the demidogs with the kids, Jonathan, Nancy, Steve, and Hopper. Jim offered you to stay with him and El until things died down but you declined because you still had college courses to take care of. Although lab experiments are pretty much running rampid through Hawkins, school wasn’t going to close down for a snow day, let alone Demidogs. College was 2 hours away from Hawkins but that never stopped Hop from driving the distance to “check in” on you. Flat tire? Hop was on the way. Need a space heater for your dorm? Hop wouldn’t let you spend a dime on buying one, he’d be on his way with one in the back of the truck and maybe a little homemade meal prepped by yours truly. Basically, he found any excuse to come and see you. After a heart-to-heart one day after ranting about being a bit homesick, he asked you to move in with him and El.

*Flashback*

“You’ll be in Hawkins and even if it means waking up at the crack of dawn to drive you to class, it’ll be worth it.” he said

“Hop, I don’t want to inconvenience you at all. I mean, it’s a 2 hour drive there and back, that’s a lot of gas, you still have to go to work and is El really going to be okay by herself for a few hours?” you questioned

“Gas isn’t a problem, the truck uses it regardless of where I’m going, and yes, El will be perfectly fine. The kid survived this whole time without me and did you forget she has–”

“telekinesis” you both said

After saying your good byes to your dorm mate and packing your things, you were officially a resident of casa de Hopper. He was thrilled that he’d get to see you everyday. Nothing was official yet but he had a hunch that maybe things would move a long a bit. He apologized for not having a room for you but you didn’t mind the little area of the cabin he prepared for you. You had feelings for him from the jump but after seeing him out of uniform and being an amazing dad to El, you were absolutely sold. Being able to see Hop put this whole 'tough guy’ persona away behind closed doors and being vulnerable at times, had you wishing he’d actually ask you out.

One night, you were sitting on the porch, letting the sounds of the surrounding woods serenade you, when he sat beside you. He brought you a coffee and just sat in silence. The way you looked as you admired the stars– you literally had a twinkle in your eye. Taking a deep breath, he went for it. The man just full on let his heart out to you before quickly regretting it. You looked at him and chuckled. In that moment, he was sure he ruined your friendship, you’d want to move out and never speak to him again. You told him that you have the same feelings for him but never had the courage to say anything. He let out a sigh of relief and cracked the biggest smile. Things went quiet again until he asked if he could kiss you (consent first!). You nodded and you two lovebirds did a passionate but sweet kiss.That smile quickly went away. He pulled back and took a breath. You asked him what was wrong and he simply said

“It’s not right”

“What?”

“Us”

“Huh?”

“Me and you Y/N. I feel like I took advantage of you”

“What?! No, of course not. In what way?” you asked

“You’re in your 20’s, I’m in my 40’s. There’s an age gap”

“Okay– I don’t see how that’s a problem though”

“When everyone sees us, they’re going to think I’m only using you for sex. Come on, you know if a guy my age is with someone your age, there’s obviously something going on there. The younger person is never the 'secretary’ or 'assistant’.” he said

“Hop, are we or are we not 2 consenting adults?”

“Yeah”

“Do we both have honest mutual feelings for each other?”

He nodded his head

“So, what does it matter what everyone else thinks? We’re both happy. I haven’t been truly happy in a while but when you’re around, the world isn’t so bad” you said

He cracked a smile again.

“Listen, if it makes you feel better we don’t have to tell anyone about us. We can tell them when we’re ready. Deal?” you continued

He put his pinky finger out.

“Oh, so we’re pinky promising now?” you chuckled

“I guess you can say we’re getting pretty serious” he laughed

*End of flashback*

7:00pm– Closing Time

Hop pulled up to the front of the mall and waited for you.

7:00 was his favorite time of the day because that meant he got to see his whole world walk out of the doors of the Starcourt Mall every day. He was blasting “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oats with the windows rolled up. It was the song to your realationship but, he’d rather be caught dead than be caught listening to Hall & Oats.

You walked through the doors, yanking off your “AHOY” hat when you hear

“Y/N!”

Getting in the car, you plop down in the passenger side and put your seatbelt on.

Usually “You Make My Dreams” would have you dancing in your seat but you were offaly quiet.

“You okay?” he asked as he turn the music down

“Yeah”

“Now, when you say 'yeah’ ,you’re obviously lying. Seriously, is everything okay?”

You sighed

“Remember when we 1st got together, and we talked about our age?”

“Mhm”

“Robin and I were talking and she mentioned how dating a 'guy old enough to be your dad’ is gross.”

“Did you tell her about us?!” he panicked

“No, of course not. She brought age gaps up when we were talking about crushes and I have anxiety over it now. Are we–”

Hop put his finger up to his lip and shh’d you. He knew you overthink too much and that lead to your anxiety triggering. He took your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over yours.

“Y/N, the minute I laid my eyes on you–”

He paused before choking up a bit

“–I felt the same feeling I felt when I first met Diane. After Sarah passed, we divorced and I never thought I’d be happy again. I turned to cigs and alcohol for help but I dug myself deeper in this hole. Meeting Joyce gave me hope, but I saw how happy she was with Bob and– I wanted what she had. Coming home to someone who gives a damn about you every day. All the stress from fighting the demagorgon and being a dad again, I was ready to throw in the towel. Then, I met you. You were so laidback and carefree and had this aura I can’t describe. You always knew how to light up a room. When I got to know you better and you told me about the hell your dad put you and your mom through, I saw how strong you were and I needed that in my life. I needed someone who can keep me grounded when life becomes too much. That was you. You went back to college and I felt my life falling apart again. That’s why I came to see you so much. When you said you wanted to move in, I drove home that night on top of the world. I told El and we drank hot chocolate the whole night as a celebration. You wanna know the best part, that night we started dating was the absolute best night I had in years. I felt like kid again. Like, my playground crush just said yes to swinging together. Y/N, you are the best thing to happen to me in a long time. Like you said, 'what does it matter what everyone else thinks? We’re both happy’. ”

He kissed you and that kiss had to be at least a minute long.

“You feel better?” he chuckled

“No” you said

“Seriously?”

“I’m kidding, yes I feel better” you chuckled

“Good, now let’s go home” he said with a side smile

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