#But I truly wasnt a normal child

[lanayrutower]

i'm about to throw hands with this yt poll.

this is the zelda version of that twitter butch post to me.

[viovio]

'__' why do cute fanartists have like the worst opinions ever

[rayroseu]

OH SO IT WASNT ENOUGH TO DO IT ON PRE-GROOVY HE HAS TO DO IT ON HIS GROOVIFIED VERSION TOO AJFIWOFIOWJ!!!!!

HIS POSE IS LIKE MALLEUS ON HIS NORMAL SPRITE.... IM SOBBING AT THE MUSEUM SILVER ‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍🤍

Never beating the Malleus' brother allegations, I think at this point he's just blatantly admitting it JDJKAJFJW !!

The profound contrast between Silver's love for Malleus and Lilia when almost the entirety of his "true nation" hated them, will always make me crash LILIA'S SON AND MALLEUS' BROTHER IS GROWING UP WELL 😭😭😭✨✨‼️‼️‼️

But isnt this a great card that showcases he's truly a "child of peace"?? The 3 good fairies spell on him was that he'll wake up on an era pf peace (and ofc when he meets someone that truly loves him), He is someone that carries "the face of Silver Owls (Knight of Dawn)" but his actions pays tribute to Briar Valley (to Malleus)

MIND YOU that this pose is almost exclusively to Malleus only yet they made Silver do it !! 😭😭JDJAJDJ And yk whats more profound about this pose is that in Silver's case.... his hand placed on the left side where the heart is KEJQKJRKWS !!!! Ohhh he's truly accepted that it can't be changed that hes from Silver Owls but he can always dedicate his actions to the ones that cares for him despite that (Lilia and I know Malleus as well (even if he finds out the truth(copium)💥💥💥)

AND I KNEW THAT OUTIFT SUITED HIM!!!! DO YOU SEE HOW SILVERS HAIR BLENDS SO WELL WITH THAT SUIT!!! LITERAL EYE CANDY, HE'S LIKE AN ANGEL HERE WITH HOW GLARING THE LIGHT SOURCE IS BUT ITS NOT A DEMURE TYPE OF ANGELIC LOOK, ITS A KNIGHTLY ONE!!! 🥲🥲💕💞✨✨✨

KFJQJRJW THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE PLATINUM CARD PLEASE... 😭🤍✨✨

Edit: Also PAUSEEE THE BOOK 7 FORESHADOW THIS CARD EXUDESSSSS SILVER CQLM DOWN AJFJAJE

The Knight of Dawn doomed to fight the Evil Princess.....

The Knight of Dreams doomed to fight the King of the Abyss

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭BUT BUT TRUE LOVE WILL END THE CYCLE RIGHT RIGHT... WJUTIQ😭😭😭😭

source

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

ableism in mha

okay so i was scrolling and i came across this post and it helped me reorganize a lot of thoughts ive been thinking sense i first started mha. ive always been not a fan of izuku getting ofa in the first place as it felt to me as it almost completely erased any meaning of his backstory. it felt like such a plot armor/mary sue moment but in the end i got over it, assuming that most likely he would loose it at one point (i was right but we'll get to that later).

after he enters UA its almost as if his entire past is just like- not important?? i have plenty of hcs about his suppressed trauma and if you read into a lot of the situations he goes thru in the manga i can see it but is not blatantly said/expressed that he struggles with a complex from how he was treated as a child.

in the end mha becomes a manga mostly focused on some sort of version of not judging a person by their cover. The fact that a technically "villainous" quirk does not make someone a bad person.

now ofc this is totally true. no one should be overlooked or declined rights or decency because of the quirk they have. this lesson is a valid one.

the analogy i have made up in my head is this.

people who are born with "hero-like" or "useful" quirks, for example: bakugou, todoroki, hawks etc are beautiful people

(for the context of this metaphor ignore the fact that beauty is complex and is in the eye of the beholder just roll with me)

and then you have the people with "useless" or average quirks that are just average people

and then you have people like toga or shinsou with quirks that are seen as inherently dangerous. quirks that are unable to be used for good. those are the ugly people.

now obviously we shouldnt discriminate people just because society says they are ugly. there is no doubt in that and it is a tragedy that it happened and still happens.

however

20% of the population cannot even fall onto this scale. the quirkless. aka the disabled. they are not even seen as being worth a label on the scale because they are so disgusting and strange that no one wants to remember yhey exist.

i wouldnt be as upset by the lack of talk about quirkless people if izuku wasnt quirkless, if the first arc of mha wasnt izuku struggling with the fact that no one in the world cares about him but his mom and that not even her believes he can achieve anything because of his disability.

the whole set up was izuku wanted to be a hero DESPITE his disability. even though truly he thought it was impossible. he didnt work out, he didnt try and do anything to become a hero because he believed everyone was right. that what society had been telling him his whole life was true and he couldnt be a hero. but he wanted to despite that. that was the hook of mha. at least for me.

a bullied lonely boy with a disability achieves his dream despite society. despite being told at every turn that he couldnt do it. he said he can and he does.

but thats not what happened at all.

instead some pillar of all that is heroic drops down from the sky and magically cures his disability. and suddenly hes just a normal kid.

and suddenly we forget all about midoriya izuku and how hard it is to be quirkless. how much quirkless people struggle. how many of them must commit suicide because of yhe seeming completely normalized harassment of them in everyday life.

and i dont want to blame izuku for this because in the end hes a kid with trauma who just wants to fit in. its frankly quite obvious that he whole heartedly agrees with bakugou and everyone else from his past that yeah quirkless people are useless.

the way he treated Melissa in the movie broke my heart. he belittled her like it was second nature and while he obviously had no malicious feelings toward her because of her quirklessness he sees her as a second class citizen. hes surprised that she is able to achieve things despite her disability. that she manages to be happy in a world where she isnt "normal".

and again in the long run i dont truly blame izuku for feeling this way. like everyone he is a product of his environment.

again, however:

i do blame horikoshi

do we need to be nicer to people with villainous quirks: yes ofc

but your manga isnt about that. your manga is about someone whose seen as even less than that. you can address both issues.

having bakugou break down about izuku becoming quirkless was good but that was pretty much all we got.

and what happenes when izuku looses ofa?? he gives up on being a hero.

how the hell does that make sense

everyone in japan knows this boys name. he is considered a top hero. and he just drops off the face the hero scene?

hatsume exists??? izukus face has been in her boobs TWICE for gods sake. yaoyorozu can make things out of thin and are they had to wait 8 years.

izuku is too smart to not think of that.

it would take hatsume 3 days max.

and ignoring that whole point again hori is pushing the idea that bakugou and everyone from aldera were CORRECT. that yeah u were right to think the quirkless of useless cause like they cant do anything :3c

izuku has had NO growth this whole manga. all hes learned is how to hit things how to kick things and awww kacchan sad :(((.

nothing about believing in himself. nothing about how he can be a hero despite the odds. nothing even about the power of friendship helping him to overcome.

im just like wtf hori.

[tomiokagiyustiddies]

I've seen a lot of people criticize their writing but in all honesty, the Shinazugawa brothers are an amazingly written personification of the effects of abuse on a child and their worldviews.

TW: Vague mentions of abuse, Terrible writing

Both Sanemi and Genya grew up in an extremely abusive household where their mother -who was also a victim in all this, not at all am I saying shes in the wrong here- probably tried to cope by repeating to them and herself that Kyogo was only doing that out of “tough love”, that he “wasn’t himself like that”, that he loved them but “couldn't show it right” so the boys took that as something that was normal. They were never exposed to anything different because their mother was just as much of a victim as they were. To them, “Tough Love” was just “Love” and it shows in how they talk about one another in canon. While Sanemi cares deeply for Genya and thinks he's showing it in the best way he possibly can, to outsiders who didn't grow up like them -Like Tanjiro- it's seen as insane and Abusive behavior. Despite the fact that on multiple occasions Sanemi has attacked Genya, Genya will still defend him while saying his brother is kind, caring, and loving because to the both of them that's what care looks like in their eyes. To them “care” is hitting, throwing punches, attacking. Genya still holds Sanemi in high regard because he probably did this in childhood, he most likely would punch or hit their siblings playfully as a form of scolding. The reason Tanjiro is the only one to ever truly step in on what's happening is because Tanjiro is the only one where this wasn't the daily “norm” in his life, his family was loving and would've never imagined a single punch or slap being thrown at one another so seeing seeing something like that happen between the Shinazugawa brothers, knowing that Genya adored Sanemi made Tanjiro mad. The Hashira might have never stepped in because they weren’t aware but the only one who would have even tried if they had been would've been Mitsuri as that also isn't her “norm” since she also comes from a kind and loving family whereas the other Hashira either had no family, only knowing the world of demons, or had just as horrible families as the Shinazugawas.

To the Shinazugawa brothers, they are repeating the only form of love they were ever shown, Sanemi is showing his own weird way of “Care” for Genya by attacking and “punishing” as that's all he has ever learned was familial “Care”, Genya still sees his brother as kind, gentle, and “caring” because, again, that is all they've ever known. They aren’t perfect victims, they realize what was happening to them was wrong, that they hated it but they still resort to what they know best when at their worst or most emotional states. They are a well written symbolism that even when a victim knows they hated that and it's wrong, they don't know anything different, there wasn't any other form of love or care other than abuse in their life outside of another victim who was experiencing the exact same thing, another victim who couldn't leave just as much as they couldn't. Their misunderstanding wasnt from one thinking the other no longer loved them but that one couldn't forgive the other for what they said or did. They never questioned if they loved each other but if they could forgive each other.

Abuse victims can't always stop the cycle, the cycle might repeat because that's all a victim ever learned with no other example until the world around them tells them that the cycle is repeating, that they are becoming what they hated in the guise of normalcy. No victim is perfect, a victim of abuse being angry is understandable. Sanemis anger would be understandable if it was because of the abuse but it isn't until after he loses Genya, his anger is originally because when his little brother needed him most, he ran away and pretended Genya didn't exist because he believed Genya would be happier that way. In saying Genya isn't his brother he's also saying he isn’t worthy of being Genya’s brother in turn, He wasn't the “perfect victim” and no matter how he tried, he didn't stop the cycle in the end. After he loses Genya he’s angry he repeated the cycle, that he was a spitting image of his father’s actions towards Genya while he was alive.

I love them dearly and I adore their writing so much as a person who experienced a form of abuse, who almost repeated the cycle because it was how we “showed love”. I love the fact that they are treated as actual victims who have trauma in realistic ways and not just a writer's idea of “perfect victim”, they are inherently flawed because of their trauma.

I haven't written in a while so sorry it's repetitive!

[requiemism]

maybe its just because jinx is bpd (or, at least, HEAVILY coded as such) and i have a mood disorder but i truly cannot help but be bewildered by the lack of understanding and empathy towards her character both in the show and in the fandom. shes essentially a broken, manipulated, desperate child- even if shes "grown" now, shes so severely traumatized i sincerely doubt her brain developed properly and she certainly didnt and doesnt have the help required to become a well adjusted stable individual. i dont say this to take away her agency or infantilize her- her actions ARE her choice, and she DOES understand what she is doing. however, despite this, a majority of what shes done has NEVER been in a moment of rational thinking. she only did what she did as powder due to desperation; she threw the bag in the water because she was cornered, she accidentally caused the deaths she did because she didnt understand the tech she had and she was desperate to save her family. everything she does after as jinx is largely due to silcos manipulation, being severely disordered, traumatized, and abandoned, and literally every single person in her life telling her all shes good for is destruction and causing pain. she spends almost her ENTIRE life being told by EVERYONE but the person actively manipulating her that she is incompetent, annoying, destructive and batshit. OBVIOUSLY SHES NOT GOING TO BE NORMAL. OBVIOUSLY SHES GOING TO LOSE IT WHEN THE O N E PERSON SHE HAS LEFT FUCKING DIES BECAUSE SHE ACCIDENTALLY SHOT HIM DURING A PTSD DRIVEN BREAKDOWN CAUSED BY HER GODDAMN SISTER. O B V I O U S L Y SHES GOING TO DO SOMETHING RASH AND IMPULSIVE IN HER MANIC, BROKEN STATE. because now, she has nothing left. she has nothing to lose. shes a jinx, and she ruins everything that she touches, and maybe, just maybe, she can use that to honor her fathers lifelong goal. obviously this goes horribly and backfires on everyone, putting a target on the entire undercitys back, but she ABSOLUTELY wasnt thinking about that when she bombed the goddamn capitol mid breakdown. in season 2, after making this impulsive (and frankly idiotic but thats neither here nor there) decision she lays low, avoiding causing any damage unless necessary (although it IS overkill whenever she does harm people, thats what shes been taught is normal. she literally grew up in the undercity where people are murdered and mugged on a daily basis.) and using every opportunity to scourge her own existence. she VERY clearly hates herself for what shes done, and she certainly doesnt seem to be proud of any of it. i think this is best displayed in the discussion she has with isha when they first meet. when vi and the enforcer squad come after her, shes literally minding her business, making a GIFT for the woman who has repeatedly hurt her because "it was something (she) could fix." she cant even shoot vi when shes actively gassing her, literally CRYING at the thought. the only reason she actively begins attempting to kill her and caitlyn is because THEY'RE DOING THE SAME DAMN THING, and once again she very clearly cant bring herself to do so to vi. even in s1, during the tea party scene, its pretty evident that she doesnt intend to kill vi in my opinion? to make matters worse, when vi tries to kill HER, she practically BEGS her to do it.

i understand that jinx is objectively NOT a good person!!! she has literally killed tens of maybe hundreds of people and yes, she did kill caitlyns mom (although very honestly i could care less about that ngl caitlyn is absolutely a good character but i dont like her as a person for reasons largely unrelated to jinx 😓). she literally builds bombs and guns and whatever the fuck for fun. she enjoys watching people be beaten and killed. but i think the absolute lack of any empathy or understanding towards her a lot of people exhibit is a little ridiculous and it infuriates me to no end 😭 thank you for coming to my autistic ted talk!!!!

[leseigneurdufeu]

vampire comte de monte-cristo...

I like your mind.

Everything proceeds normally until le château d'if. There, Faria, realizing he will die, decides to give one last secret to Edmond: he is the last of the Spada vampire clan. He bites him and turns him into a vampire, then dies a few months later.

The newfound strength and stamina account for how he survives his escape. Known as Sinbad the Sailor on the Sea, he scours the mediterranean to get even richer. Meets Luigi Vampa, who is at the head of a small convent and a big troop of outlaws, most of which dont know about him being a vampire. Edmond overpowers him and makes him his drone/thrall.

Franz stumbles into monte cristo island. There, it's not the drugs but the hypnosis of Sinbad that makes him fall asleep/faint.

Later on, everyone finding Monte Cristo charismatic or not recognizing Dantes in him are just falling for his glamour again.

Except for Mercedes, because she truly loved him and true love, even unilateral at that point of the story, can break every magic. Or something like that.

Bertuccio is also a vampire, and Benedetto wasnt completely dead yet, but he bit him to save him. He now blames the part of darkness in every vampire (and so himself for springing it to a child with no prior moral education/experience) for his sister's death. Monte Cristo will later dispose of Benedetto/Andrea that liberally because he sees a rogue vampire as a threat to himself.

Despite her begging prayers, he always refused to turn Haydee. He goes into the duel with Albert knowing he cant die (but mercedes saves albert's life). When Valentine is poisoned, the scene goes exactly the same (you have to trust me, even if you were to wake up in a tomb) but he turns her instead of Juliet-ing her. However, since she was so sick, she doesnt turn, she simply survives the poison.

There are multiple people he couldnt save because they dere already dead (his father, Haydee's mother...) or outright refuses to save when able to (Caderousse) but the death of Edouard shakes him and he realizes he's been playing God but acting like a demon.

He finally turns Haydee and they sail into the sunset to travel forever on the sea.

[thekingofwinterblog]

To me the best sign of the fact that MHA kinda went down hill in the second half is that all the stupid, delusional, trolltheories not coming true... Is disapointing.

Because of course AFO being Deku's dad would be stupid and cliche and contrived - of course introducing time travel to make the "Bak U Go" theorie work would be parody levels of crazy, even Eri turning Shigaraki back into a child Tenko would be an obvious asspull to fix a difficult situation in the most deus ex machina way.

But in retrospect, compared to what we got, that all would be more satisfieng. Cause thats the problem - the real thing we got was just boring, so nothing, just a wimper that seemingly went out of its way to be as unfulfilling as possible.

And the final chapter is the culmination - ofcourse shipping all the charachters together just for the hell of it and giving them kids is self indulgent and formulaic - yet atleast that would give something, make people debate about wacky relationships that make no sense or whatever - but this "wow everyone just went on, vaguely continuing their one dimmensional arcs, solving racism etc" Hell, even just making quirks disapear would be cool, especially if heros lived on, showing that truely being a hero doesnt mean having a flashy power but doing the right thing, with the costumes being reframed from stupid consumer crap into a comitment to do whats right no mater how one looks

One of my buddies descrived the MHA ending as a "no risk one", and honestly, he is absolutely right.

The BIG problem with the final chapter, the reason i describe it time and again as a "Nothing ending" is that it is painfully afraid of committing to ANYTHING as far as how the heroes ended up.

Izuku endes up in a bad outcome ending, where ended up quirkless, and became a teacher at Yuei? Okay, that could work just fine, so long as you emphasise both his regrets but also how much he is fullfilled at his new school... Whatsthat? We never really get a sense that he truly does have regrets? Also we get only the briefest of glimpses into his life as a teacher?

Okay, so who did he end up with? Showing Izuku's partner and maybe q kid or two would go a long way to show that Izuku did not end up like All Might, a man who sacrificed any chance of a normal human companionship to a frankly unhealthy degree the manga critiqued. Also wheter or not he ultimately ended up eith her, Uraraka confessing her feelings is ctitical to her character arc ending on a high note, so jow did that end?

...okay so we get no suggestions that he ended up with anyone? That he seemingpy just resigned himself to be alone forever, just like all might?

All right then, but at least we're committing to an ending where Izuku no longer is a Hero, right?

No wait the twist at the end is that his friends swoop in to finance it all.

...okay? So... Why wasnt the chapter about this? If 1-A loved Izuku so much they were willing to save 5 years worth of Gathered funds to help Izuku, why did we get nothing else in this entire chapter to remind us that they actuqlly loved him still, and instead the entire chapter emphasized how distant Izuku had become?

These two things, Izuku slowly growing distant from his friends in a realistic manner, and them ultimately going all in on helping him out to let him live his dreams, are completely at odds with each other.

In the question, the idea of MHA ending on a "Realistic" is described as by default Boring, but it didnt have to be, so long as it focused on the right things, and actually committed to it to the hilt.

It was more than poasible to Have Izuku ending up as a teacher at Yuei withouth a quirk, teaching the new generation work as an ending, if you actually committed to telling that ending all the way. Realistic does not have to mean boring or unsatisfying.

Similarily, there was absolutely a good way to tell an ending where Izuku lost his quirk and ended up a Tech based Hero as well. So long as you committed to that, and didnt relegate it to the last three pages as a twist ending joke that still wants you to take it seriously.

Ultimately, the ending was a failure because it failed to commit to anything, or to put it another way, it was afraid to take any risks at the very end.

Any shipping resolution in any way? Well, that would absolutely go a long way to hammer in the feel of a realistic ending, because that is how Human beings' work... But that would have been a risk, as someone would have been pissed off by it.

Izuku and ochako getting together? Would have pissed off the bakudeku shippers, the uraraka x toga shippers, and Uraraka x Bakugo shippers.

Him getting together with anyone else? Would have pissed off the Izuku x uraraka shippers, and most certainly the Bakudeku shippers as well.

And on it goes.

Kirishima getting together with Mina? Eould have pissed of the Kirishima x bakugo shippers or the people who headcanon him as gay.

Him getting together with Bakugo? Would have pissed off the ones who shipped him with Ashido.

Aizawa finishing his character arc of growing to actually love teaching and his students by going back to miss joke and finally reconciling with her, and addmitting she was right all along, that he really did want a "household where the laughter never ended" as she put it?

Would have pissed off those who shipped him with Present Mic.

Now im not saying the lack of shipping was THE thing that ruined this ending(other than Izuku x ochako whose lack of resolution one way or another is a massive structural weakness), but it is absolutely a sympthom of how this ending was absolutely terrified of actually committing to any risks.

It is the thing that defines this entire chapter, and honestly the final arc as a whole.

Just to give one example, the reason why Bakugo has NO thematic climax or satisfying ending at the end, is because it is painfully clear that His story was absolutely going to end back on the platform.

Before Hori's editor made him change it, and demand he got a bigger role, Bakugo's thematic ending was going to be that he was murdered while stalling Shigaraki.

He was not going to get to be the Hero who defeated AFO, or even come close to becoming number 1... But he WAS going to get to die a hero.

That was a bold, and very much not safe direction to end one of MHA's most popular characters.

It would also have been a great thematic ending where Bakugo actually did get to be a Hero like he always wanted... while at the same time NOT ultimately rewarding him for the horrible he treats Izuku through the Manga.

You know, like what happened to Endeavor.

There were no happy endings there, with one of his sons rejecting him once and for all, while leaving his firstborn's thoughts on him on a note where we ultimately didnt know how it went, while at the same time ending up crippled in a wheelchair.

Enji was a terrible man who ultimately did become a true hero... But he was not rewarded for it. And that's why it actually works so well.

And it certainly was not the safe way to end it either.

This is also why the villains in MHA ended up on amuch stronger thematic note than any of the heroes.

None of them got safe, nothing endings.

With all of them, Hori one way or another committed himself to have an actual ending that said soemthing, as opposed to the wishy washy final chapter that had no spine to go in either direction.

Dabi burnt himself out, and now has to deal with the consequences of trying to kill himself and everyone else, only to fail at it.

Spinner and compress gave everything for the cause, only for his side to lose, and him ending up in jail, and now has to deal with that.

Toga spent her entire life searching for someone who didnt reject her, and wanted to understand her, and ultimetely though she did not get a relationship with thay person, she went out on her own terms.

Shigaraki tried to destroy the world, having decided to commit himself all the way to becomign the greatest supervillain of all time... Only to in the end, be defeated and being killed, like he himself did to so many others.

None of these were safe options to end these characters on, and there are plenty who werent happy with it... But they are endings where Hori actually committed to going through with it all, wheter to succeed, or fail.

The Heroes by contrast get none of these.

Izuku does not get an ending where it actually commits to... ANYTHING because by doing so, he would piss off some part of his audience.

Bakugo couldnt die at the platform, because he's popular, no matter how much sense ending his story there might make.

Uraraka couldnt confess her feelings and either hook up with, or be rejected by Izuku because that would piss someone off.

Mina and Kirishima couldnt hook up because it too would piss someone off.

We could not get deep, important looks into the Heroes family lives 8 years later, because it would piss people off.

MHA's ending(as far as the heroes are concerned) would have been so much better if the manga was willing to end on an ending that actually take real risks that would have had the possibility to fall on their face.

Or as Wit from Stormlight Archive puts this kinda thinking oh so well:

“All great art is hated. It is obscenely difficult - if not impossible - to make something that nobody hates. Conversely, it is incredibly easy - if not expected - to make something that nobody loves.

This makes sense, if you think about it. Art is about emotion, examination, and going places prople have never gone before to discover and investigate new things. The only way to create something that nobody hates is to ensure that it can't be loved either. Remove enough spice from a soup, and you'll just end up with water.

Human taste is as varied as human fingerprints. Nobody will like everything, everybody dislikes something, someone loves that thing you hate - but at least being hated is better than nothing. To risk metaphor, a grand painting is often about contrast: brightest brights, darkest darks. Not grey mush. That a thing is hated is not proof that it's great art, but the lack of hatred is certainly proof that it is not."

[okthatsgreat]

can i ask what your beef is with the dear evan hansen text?? like i agree with you i just wanna know lol

ohhhhh anon you are getting an essay from me LMFAOOO. for a bit of context: im a HUGE musical theatre fan and i was a massive fan during the 2016-2017 period of broadway where a HUGE influx of younger fans were getting drawn in so of course i listened to the soundtrack a ton. but after a bit i looked back at it and sort of understood a lot of its flaws in the base script/lyrics, and upon watching the australian dear evan hansen it became superrrr clear again imo!

ill put my long winding essay down below just because its pretty negative :) and, of course, long and winding

so there are some veryyyyyy distinct issues with the text of dear evan hansen, which i will TRY to pull apart into seperate categories just to make this a bit easier LMFAO.

TONE: tonally, this show is a MESS. it wants to both be a comedy musical while also having very heartfelt discussions around topics of mental health and suicide. in my opinion, while TRICKY, this CAN be done successfully, but was not handled well here. the switch between tone is far too jarring-- in one scene you'll have cynthia mourning her son who just committed suicide, desperate for any information that could connect her to her late child, reaching out to cling onto evan once she sees the cast that connor had signed before his passing. and then it IMMEDIATELY cuts to jared making a sex joke like im not kidding. these moments of grief and seriousness dont get time to breathe before they bring jared in or make connors ghost sing a funny song about not being gay

i know that an argument can be made that this show is supposed to be a "dark comedy"-- even if it was it wasnt done well, but as a whole it's actually not supposed to be a dark comedy. the suicide of connor murphy, evan hansens debilitating anxiety, and the mental wellbeing of these characters are placed in the centre of this show as its primary message. this is a show that marketed itself as being THE mental health show, that brought these issues to light and brings a powerful message about "not being alone". the writers of this show want you to take it very seriously. there are some very well written moments within this text (in my opinion a lot of the arguments the murphys have are well paced, good dialogue, especially towards the end before words fail) but it loses so much of its impact because its shoved in between these scenes of forced levity. so so much of that is the fault of jared as a character but thats a whole other essay

it's an extremely indecisive show over all, and you are going to see that throughout this essay: this show doesnt want to fully commit to one thing, but rather dabble in tinier, vague concepts and never truly go all the way.

MENTAL HEALTH: i am not going to deny that in 2016-2017 when this show was immensely popular, it DID start some sort of discussion. this show did have a very positive impact, specifically on a young demographic, because it did open up avenues for them to discuss issues such as this. at the time there were hardly any musicals targeted towards that demographic, and hardly any musicals that discussed mental health at all (besides shows like next to normal, but they were never that huge with the younger generation). for a young person, or anybody really, to resonate with a show concerning topics of anxiety and suicide is a great thing, and i am not trying to diminish the impact of this show at the time.

but the message of mental health is a very shallow one upon rewatch, unfortunately. as mentioned before, they are SO CLOSE to delving into interesting topics but never want to fully commit to anything. zoe and her opinion of her late brother is a FASCINATING topic that gets swept up in evans lie. we hardly hear much discussion about connors anger issues or mental health topics that are deemed less "palatable"-- in fact, very rarely does this show discuss the elements of mental health that can be seen as less palatable to a wider audience. it NEARLY does, it VERGES on those specific discussions, but never wants to linger too much. or it is fully treated as a joke (connor smokes pot, which can very easily be read as a form of self-medication as the murphys were struggling to stick to a single form of help for him. him smoking is ALWAYS a joke however. this is NOT explicit in the text).

not to mention, its clear that some topics were not well researched or even well examined within the text. i really really loved how the australian alana (carmel rodrigues) portrayed her (i very personally think she played alana as being autistic or at least neurodivergent) however she has a single throwaway line about how she felt invisible and then never mentions this again. this needed to be built up to a LOT better. evan STOPS TAKING HIS MEDICATION during act 2, claiming he "doesnt need them", and it is NEVER mentioned whether or not he starts taking them again. and while medication is a varied topic from person to person, and not everybody has or even wants to take them, the show has framed evan not taking his meds as a personal triumph, in which his life has finally "gotten better" to the point he doesnt need to take them anymore. for many many people this is not the case, especially with anxiety.

the core message of the show, "you are not alone", is also rather hollow. it's a good marketing point and its a great hashtag for the dear evan hansen team to spread on social media but it isn't extremely nuanced. dont get me wrong, sometimes a show doesnt HAVE to be extremely nuanced in a way a show like next to normal is, but to frame your show as THE mental health show with the aim to discuss these topics of suicide and depression seriously (rather than unseriously, like heathers), then it needs to be treated wayyy more carefully. saying "oh if youre sad then just reach out for help", while an okay message for a young audience, isnt very groundbreaking and in fact can come off as a little corny upon rewatch ("you will be found" felt verrrry very cheesy when i watched it live)

THE ANTI-HERO: evan is a teenager who severely fucks up. TREMENDOUSLY. and even though the marketing of this show i think has actually let evan down a little bit in regards to his personality, it isnt JUST due to the fact he has social anxiety. sure, this greatly impacts him and his decisions, but there are many moments within the show where he explicitly states his motives for why he did what he did. he is an awkward, LONELY teenager. while his anxiety not to speak up may have landed him in his situation in the first place, ultimately it is evans desperate need for human connection and family that compels him to keep this lie going.

and in a rather traditional narrative, his schemes would be framed as properly sinister. while he doesnt necessarily have MALICIOUS intentions, he still acts very selfishly and with little foresight. the lies keep piling on and piling on and he feels as though he can not reveal himself, but also he doesnt WANT to. he doesnt want to let everything go, even if he is very VERY in the wrong. this is selfish. and a character can BE selfish!

but while the narrative clearly paints evan as being in the wrong, he is NEVER supposed to be the "villain". nothing he does is truly conveyed as sinisterly as it actually is, and it gets SINISTER. ultimately we are supposed to be ROOTING for evan, as he is meant to represent the core themes of this show: mental health. even if he gets found out we are NEVER shown "true" consequences besides the murphy family getting kind of upset at him and asking him to leave during his song "words fail" where he tells them he used to be so sad and lonely before all of this and thats why he did what he did. it then cuts to him and his mom, where the discussion mostly revolves around HIS mental health and his suicide attempt rather than what he had just done to the murphys. finally after that scene we go to the finale many months later, where the consequences are hardly implied, and its even stated that evan got off LIGHTLY for what he did as the murphys never revealed who wrote connors note. yknow, the note that the entire internet was using as means to harass and dox that grieving family not too long ago

he is never treated as if he is completely in the wrong, and always given that core theme of mental health to hide behind. and because they dont want to discuss the more "unappealing" elements of mental health, or theyre too scared to imply that his anxiety is "making him the villain", evans actions ultimately are forgiven by the narrative.

evan and his family friend dance around the room, creating fake emails for a kid who killed himself in order to fool his mourning parents into believing the two of them were friends. evan stands in front of the school and gives a speech about how much him and connor were friends (even when they werent), and then spearheads a mental health campaign in connors name, all under the pretense that he KNEW and CARED for connor. he, a STRANGER, frequently goes over to the murphys house and allows them to treat him like a pseudo-son, nearly to the point where he accepts a college trust fund from them, which was meant for connor. he LIES to connors sister-- who was having very complicated opinions about connor due to his abuse towards her-- and convinces her that connor actually cared about her the entire time, practically forcing her to view her abusive brother as a better person than he was. and then evan DATES HER.

which brings me to my next and final point--

ZOE: god zoe. she makes me so unbelievably sad. WHY did evan have to have a love interest.

zoe could have been such a fascinating and intriguing character if she was handled with far more care than she had been. connor murphy was very explicitly stated to have been verbally abusive to her and likely physical as well, and at the beginning of the show she is rightly upset with him. she doesnt mourn him for his good parts because to her she doesnt KNOW any good parts. she tells evan that "the last time she can remember connor being nice to her was in his suicide note", which EVAN wrote. zoe was by no means obligated to mourn her brother, but was frequently encouraged (especially by cynthia) to do so, to find the good parts of him to remember. this complicated relationship with grief is fascinating

but evan has a crush on her, and thats when everything starts going downhill. he starts lying to her about what connor had told her ("if i could tell her" is a very creepy song coming from a brother but thats yet again a whole other post HGJKF) and plants false memories of him inside her head. that is FUCKED UP!! he is giving this poor girl, who is battling with her conflicted feelings towards her late abusive brother, false reasons to think fondly of him and invalidating every reason she had to feel anger towards him. because this show wants so desperately for the message to be that "nobody deserves to be forgotten", without any sort of nuance whatsoever, even if the person that died had been terrible to you.

and then they start dating. they start dating, all based on the lies evan had told zoe. before they kiss zoe says "you gave me my brother back", which is a HEARTBREAKING thing to hear from her given what we as the audience know, but this is NOT conveyed NEARLY as sinister as it is actually is. we witness evan be extremely, EXTREMELY selfish, and for the first time this can not be blamed on his anxiety like most other events in act 1 could. this was evan wanting to get with zoe, and it seemingly fell into his lap after he conned this family into believing he knew their estranged, late son. that is horrifying! zoe does not get NEARLY mad enough at him once he tells the murphys the truth! zoe doesnt get any time at all to shine in act 2!!

how absolutely mortifying would it be to realise that the person you were dating is a complete and utter stranger to you! he had been impersonating somebody and staying in your house, sleeping over, DATING you, all under entirely false pretences. and how absolutely mortifying would it be to realise that everything you thought you had finally learned about your brother was a lie? you had finally come to terms with accepting your late brother for his good parts only to realise that all of those alleged "good parts" werent actually true at all?? zoe would practically have to grieve ALL OVER AGAIN. the murphys would have to grieve their son TWICE. this is NEVER touched on. evan does not experience the consequences for this nearly as much as he should, and zoe is not given this resolution or nuance.

if this was done with a little more care this could have been GOOD. this was a terrible, terrible thing evan did. their romance should have always been framed as such. "only us" should not have been written as this charming cute romantic love song. given what the audience knows it is impossible to view this relationship as pure, which is what the writers had intended, and we are all sitting in our seats waiting for the ball to finally drop and this poor girl to finally realise who she is dating. its horrifying! and it doesnt get treated as such!

because ultimately evan is the hero and evan is the person you are supposed to be rooting for, regardless of his actions. ive seen a few arguments saying that this is intentional, that songs like "you will be found" are SUPPOSED to be sinister and hollow because evan is "tricking all of them", but the truth is that was never the writers intention. they wouldnt have made that song their entire marketing campaign if it was supposed to be seen as malicious. the writers were never willing to fully commit to anything, making this show as a whole underbaked and tonally inconsistent.

TLDR; the show has a hollow message and wants to be many different things at once but ultimately succeeds in none of it

[hollowwrites]

A Recipe for a Bad day

Ominis x MC

Summary - Ominis' bad day continues as he finds his jealousy towards the new fifth year reach new heights

A lot of this is Garreth and Sebastian I just like the goofy bois. It’s my absolute favourite thing rewriting scenes from the game in more detail. And if you can’t tell I love shoving voice lines and dialogue in!!

Warnings - Mentions of Ominis past and Evelyns past (Her mother has passed) other than that just another PINEFEST!

Word Count - 4668

~

Ominis wasnt sulking. He was not brooding.

No matter what Sebastian said.

No, this was just his face. He normally walked around looking like he was sucking on a lemon. Whilst that was normally true, that wasn’t the case here.

He just couldn’t remove the images he had conjured for himself of Evelyn and Leander.

Sebastian said ‘dragged her away’. Did he mean figuratively or literally? Did he touch her?…grab her? She did look annoyed, but how much can one tell from someone’s gait. And he doesn’t truly know her well enough to make those kinds of assumptions.

However, he couldn’t stop the anger he felt for himself allowing her to slip through his fingers. Quite literally.

So he was back to square one, torturing himself with images of her softly placing a hand on Leanders arm. Giggling to some joke.

She does that for me.

Now he was sat across the room from her. It was almost worse than if she wasn’t there at all. At least then he might possibly be able to concentrate on this awful class. Right now he was much more fixated on eavesdropping into every conversation she had. Desperate for just that small crumb of information about her. Just one more detail.

From what he could gather, she was sat between Sebastian and Garreth.

Ominis was friends with both of them. Good friends. But he couldn’t quell the wave of jealousy he felt upon hearing her laugh.

It was Garreth, of course she was laughing.

But that didn’t stop it from stinging.

Why do you care? Why are you acting this way?

He summised that it was his minds way of replacing Anne. No, not replacing. No one could replace Anne, and Sebastian would never speak to him again if he voiced those thoughts. But he needed a friend.

Just a friend.

After coming back to school, the first year Anne would be completely absent, and after spending the entire summer helping Sebastian and Solomon ‘make her comfortable’, Ominis was left with a friend shaped pit in his stomach.

And this new fifth year seemed just the right fit.

So why was he feeling this protective? He was never like this with Anne, nor Sebastian.

Maybe he was just being sensitive. He’d watched one companion get ripped from him, his other not taking that departure well either. And even though Sebastian’s behaviour had taken a swing towards the positive as of late…Ominis could feel a distance between them. Like it was only a matter of time.

So he would keep this new friend of his close…no matter how possessive it made him feel.

After Professor Sharp set the task of a ‘simple’ Wigginweld, Ominis physically turned himself away, hoping the act itself would put a stop to his obsessive nature.

If anything it made it worse.

Not many people knew about Ominis’ advanced hearing. Whether it came from one of the spells his parents tried as a child in an attempt to ‘fix him’ or if it was simply his bodies way of compensating for his disability, he didn’t know. He had just always been able to hear from across large rooms, even busy classrooms. Such as this.

He was suddenly very thankful for Imelda standing next to him. She silently brewed her potion as instructed, not caring much for small talk, allowing him to listen in on the table at the far end, whilst he haphazardly chopped at his Dittany leaves.

~

Evelyn watched as Ominis turned towards his station and began slicing through the neatly piled assortment of leaves. She couldn’t help the growing need to help him as she saw his fingers glide effortlessly across the chopping board to find his knife.

He didn’t fumble for it, nor did he injure himself upon finding the blades edge instead of the handle. He was perfectly capable. But she felt she could help him. Make his life just a little bit easier.

She just wanted to help.

“Do you think Ominis is upset with me?” She muttered to no one in particular, aiming the question out towards the middle of the classroom as she stared off towards the Blonde Slytherin in the distance.

Garreth and Sebastian looked at each other, a smirk pulled wide over the latters face.

“I don’t think it possible for you to upset him” Sebastian responded under his breath, slicing into his own pile of Dittany “Why do you ask?”

“He just seems…off with me. Since Herbology…” she wondered out loud, absentmindedly cutting and prepping her own ingredients like she’d done this a thousand times “…you don’t think I offended him do you?”

“Oooh interesting. What did you do to offend the powerful and ominous Ominis?” The curly, red head chirped with an impish grin across his features.

Evelyn looked across to his station. Every available surface had been covered with vials of various sorts. Some of them weren’t even ingredients. In fact she swore one was labelled ‘Troll Belly Button Fluff’ but it was empty…She decided not to question it, partly because she was scared of the answer.

Her confused features must’ve been quite obvious based on the amused little chuckle from Sebastian.

“I suppose I should introduce you two. This is Garreth Weasley. Garreth, this is the infamous new fifth year everyone has been talking about. Evelyn Hollow”

“I’d shake your hand but honestly, Merlin’s knows what’s on them now…” Garreth beamed, shaking a vial of thick liquid he’d pulled from his robes.

“Oooookay” Evelyn giggled. “Are you related to Professor Weasley?”

“She’s my Aunt” he replied, pouting like a child whose sweets had been snatched from their grubby little hands “Keeps to close an eye on me for comfort. But she can’t be everywhere”

Something about this red head caused a wave of comfort over her. It’s possible it was the slightly vacant and near constant smile on his features. Or maybe it was the blatant disregard for the rules and his charming and almost arrogant tone of voice.

“So how did you offend Ominis?” Garreth asked.

“She hasn’t. He’s just moping…as usual” Sebastian shot a look up towards Ominis, smirking.

“You sure? I’ve never seen him so…cold” Garreth teased, shivering dramatically.

“Stop that!” Evelyn moaned. “I’m serious…”

“Okay well…what did you do that you think has offended him so?” Garreth asked, genuinely for the first time as well as working on his potion for the first time too, finally adding his chopped Dittany to the Pestle and Mortar and crushing it lazily. He looked almost…bored.

“I helped him in Herbology…” Before Evelyn could continue, Garreth gasped loudly, grabbing the blade of his knife and pretending to stab himself in the heart.

“Godrics Great Golden Garter…you didn’t help him did you?” Garreth said rather unnecessarily sarcastically “…You are indeed a cruel witch”

Evelyn decided to ignore his display, continuing on like nothing had happened

“I didn’t mean to suggest he couldn’t do any of it alone but…” she pouted slightly thinking back to how many times she interjected in his work “…some muggle-born girl comes along and acts like she knows everything. Must be frustrating…”

“It is…” Sebastian smirked, piling onto the teasing with a soft nudge with his elbow.

“…thanks” Evelyn retorted flatly “…I don’t know why I bother talking to you”

“Look…” Sebastian started, placing his utensils down pointedly “…Ominis is a complicated fellow. As his friend of many years, he just…gets like this sometimes. I promise it’s not you”

That satisfied her for all of five seconds, but dropped the subject anyway. Lest she suffer more teasing from the comedy duo either side of her.

Evelyn looked between the two boys as she worked on her Wiggenweld. How she’d landed with these two she wasn’t entirely sure but she felt like their combined charm and roguish behaviour could very easily lead her astray. She smiled easily, listening to the two of them endlessly tease her for her worrying.

At some point, Professor Sharp hobbled over to the other side of the room and Sebastian slipped an old dusty book across the station towards Garreth, who stowed it whilst looking shiftily around the room. She recognised it immediately as the book Sebastian pocketed upon entering the Restricted Section.

Almost as soon as Sharp turned his back, he’d shot back around, his eyes narrowing as they fell over Garreth and their table.

“Miss Hollow…” the old Auror addressed her with a curt nod “…How are you getting along?” He continued, looking towards Sebastian and Garreth, the implication clear in his voice.

“I think I’m doing okay, Sir. I’ve already bottled some” she picked up the tiny corked bottle and held it up for the Professor.

“Hmm…” Sharp inspected the bottle intensely, turning it over in his fingers over and over “…Not an easy potion to brew. Well done…And from what I hear of your recent exploits in Hogsmeade you’d also do well to practise brewing the defensive Edurus potion. Professor Weasley had you acquire the recipe from J. Pippin’s correct?”

“Yes, Sir” She heard Sebastian snort under his breath, clearly amused at how quickly she transformed into the most studious of classmates.

“Good. For the moment you can find the ingredients you need in my office - in the future however you will be expected to provide your own. Some will require you to be a bit more - resourceful. Perhaps your friends can help you with that…” Sharp turned toward Garreth again as he shook a vial of ‘Dragons Blood’ towards Evelyn before hiding it quickly as Sharp stared through him.

“I don’t even want to know, Mr Weasley. Just keep it out of your cauldron…” Professor Sharp didn’t reign in his clear disappointment as he rolled his eyes, though Evelyn swore she saw a vague smirk pulling at his lips “…Come and see me when you’ve finished brewing, and we’ll see if it was luck or skill the first time around”

This time as he left, he shot her a wry half smile and nodded firmly, moving over to the table next to them.

“Speaking of resourcefulness…Did I hear Professor Sharp say that you have permission to go in his office?” Garreth hissed quietly over the bubbling and various other noises of their station.

“He did say that” Evelyn replied tentatively.

“Brilliant! You, my friend, have been presented with an extraordinary opportunity. I’m missing one tiny ingredient from this potion I’m working on” Garreth said looking down at the purple liquid in front of him. Everyone else cauldrons were an array of greens…Garreths’ looked more like an angry bruise than any sort of Wiggenweld she’d ever seen.

“I suspect that’s where I come in?”

“You were right, Sebastian. She is as clever as I’d hoped” Garreth grinned devilishly before continuing: “I simply need a single Fwooper Feather. As you’ll already be in Sharps office - with his permission, perhaps you could grab it for me.”

“I don’t know Garreth. I don’t want to get on Sharps bad side.” Evelyn murmured, eyeing the old Auror from across the way.

“You won’t. Fwooper Feathers aren’t that valuable. Sharp won’t even miss it.”

Evelyn rolled her eyes before flipping to the page in her Potions book labelled ‘Edurus’. She made a mental note of the ingredients and headed towards Sharps office without another word.

~

“And now we add the mallowsweet and…that’s odd. What’s happening?” Garreths eyes went wide as he stirred in the stolen Fwooper Feather and the liquid turned from a deep purple to a bright gaudy pink.

“Wait it’s not supposed to- ah!” Garreth yelped crouching behind his station as the fireworks of pungent sparks fell around him like snow. “Dragon Dung! What happened?”

Evelyn couldn’t help but giggle as Sebastian leaned over into her station and covered her with his robe. A seasoned avoider of Garreths mishaps she assumed.

“What now, Mr Weasley?” Sharp rose from his chair before falling back into it, quickly deciding it wasn’t worth the pain in his leg for another one of Garreth’s failed experiments.

“Sorry, Professor” Garreth pouted and used his perfected ‘guilty’ voice

“That’ll be points from Gryffindor - again. Miss Hollow…a word please”

Evelyn shot Garreth a stern look as she pulled from out of Sebastian’s robes, a long boney finger pointing accusatorily at the Gryffindor. “You said…”

“I said nothing…”

~

“I brewed an Edurus potion as you asked, Professor” Evelyn chirped, trying her best to seem sweet and innocent, like the previous carnage wasn’t completely her fault.

“I’m surprised you had the time…” He snapped crossing his arms like a disappointed father, his tone, for want of a better term, was Sharp. “…You seemed rather busy helping Mr Weasley brew chaos”

“Sorry Professor…” She sighed “…I thought considering you’d given me a more advanced potion to brew, you’d done the same for Garreth. He told me he was quite proficient at Potions…I assumed he was just trying to be efficient. I misjudged the situation. I’m sorry.” She lied…expertly, her brows meeting in the middle out of faux concern. She was perfectly aware of what Garreth intended to do. Sebastian had talked about the shenanigans he got up to in class and despite her not agreeing to get the feather, she decided to grab it when it was just lying in the office. It was begging to be taken.

“Ah…” Professor Sharps posture relaxed exponentially, his arms falling to clasp together in front of him “…well now you are aware of Mr Weasleys intentions I shall also assume this won’t happen again, and that you have learnt a lesson.”

“Of course, Professor” she nodded repeatedly, a practised look of disappointment on her features.

“Taking responsibility for one’s actions does go a long way with me. As for the work you did at your own cauldron, I will say you’ve done well. I confess I was skeptical, but you have exceeded my expectations.”

She immediately felt bad lying to the man. He seemed sweet…even if he did have a rather unpleasant aura around him. One of authority and command.

“Thank you, Professor”

~

“Class is dismissed” Professor Sharp called in the middle of Evelyn taunting Garreth. He smirked when she told him she’d played innocent and dropped him in it, clearly unbothered that he may be in more trouble after her conversation with the Professor. He playfully called her a ‘Typical Slytherin’ and lightly punched her arm as he walked out of the class, one more detention under his belt.

“Mr Gaunt, if you could stay after class to work on your Wiggenweld it would be beneficial” Sharp said after the majority of the students had left the classroom. Only Evelyn, Sebastian and Ominis remained.

She tidied up her station slowly, memorising the ingredients as she packed them away into the drawer below the desk. Sebastian was leaning against the counter by Ominis.

“Miss Hollow, perhaps you can use your natural gift for potioneerring to actually help one of your fellow classmates. Mr Gaunt has a fantastic theoretical knowledge in the field. He just struggles a little with the practical elements”

She watched Ominis turn in her direction, an almost pained look on his face, similar to when she’d overstepped and touched his hand.

Her chest tightened.

“Of course” she agreed under her breath, hoping this after hours session wouldn’t be too awkward after how their Herbology class ended.

Professor Sharp gathered his things piling an extraordinarily large stack of items into his briefcase before picking it up and shuffling over to Ominis. He placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, tapping twice.

“I know you can do this…” Sharp murmured, a gentler tone than she had heard all evening. “…Mr Sallow, you best be off, lest Scribner start looking for you…again” With another tap to Ominis shoulder, Sharp left the classroom.

“He’s right…that Detention won’t complete itself. Thanks for getting me out of it by the way” Sebastian said sarcastically, pulling his robes over his shoulders properly.

“You’re welcome” Ominis chirped, completely unphased.

“Don’t have too much fun you two” Sebastian purred with a suggestive tone, his eyes rolling as he strolled casually out of the classroom.

Oh god…

He knew.

Sebastian knew this was going to be awkward. What else could he mean?

Evelyn gulped as she turned slowly towards Ominis, silently thankful he was blind. She just couldn’t hide the look of apprehension on her face.

There was silence for a long time as Ominis silently read and reread the recipe, his wand illuminating the words as it pressed against the page. The potion he had toiled on, over and over, sat forgotten in the cauldron in front of him, its heavy medicinal scent wafted over them both. With a sigh, he placed his wand down over the recipe book, marking the page with the tip.

“It seems pandemonium follows you” he broke the silence first, with a smirk “First the Sorting Ceremony, then Hogsmeade…now here”

“In my defence, I didn’t actually do anything” Evelyn retorted, falling into a playful tone easily.

It was so easy with him…

“So then what actually happened? I could just hear - and smell the carnage from over here”

“I was coerced into stealing from a teacher” she exaggerated, her voice turned soft and twee. Like butter wouldn’t melt.

“Huh…” he laughed softly “…You’re quite the covert little thief aren’t you? Well done”

Her cheeks burned.

She couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Whether it was his praise or him referring to her as ‘little’, as he peered down at her gazelessly. She was unsure. But she decided to physically take a step back, hoping some distance might quell the rising blush.

“Oh I…well…” she stammered after she realised she hadn’t said anything “…I wouldn’t say that. Though I’m sure Garreth appreciated it. Even if it did earn him a detention.”

“Yes…” Ominis’ tone shifted, a sudden sharpness cutting through “…it seems Gryffindors have a bit of a thing for you”

. . .

So maybe he was a little jealous…maybe

Though his mind spilled out over his lips without much thought, he knew what he was doing. He fished for any information he could about her little trip to see the cabbages. After she’d disappeared into the secondary greenhouse, Garlick called an end to the lesson and he’d lost track of her completely.

He wanted to know what Leander had said. What he had done…if anything.

“Gryffindors?” She laughed “…Well so far only two have been tolerable”

“Two?” He tried to question innocently but the jealousy rose in his throat like bile.

Leander!

“Who’s the second?” His tone betraying him again

“Natty” she spoke like the answer was obvious. Of course! Charms! Thank Merlin for Natty.

“Ah…have you not met Leander?”

“Oh I’ve met him. I found him to be quite…insufferable” she shivered at the memory of Leander. His clammy hand around her wrist, his blatant dislike for Slytherins, his constant oneupmanship.

Then Ominis grinned. Wider than she’d seen previously. The flash of pearly white teeth and the way he bit into his lip made her stomach flip.

“Sorry…” he mumbled but continued to smile wide “…I shouldn’t smile. But I can’t help but agree”

It was a little white lie. He didn’t actually mind Leander. If anything his stupidity was a constant supply of entertainment. That and his minor fued with Sebastian.

But now he was getting friendly with Evelyn.

And that simply wouldn’t do…

“So…” she cleared her throat “…Professor Sharp says you’re in need of some help.”

“That’s putting it lightly…” he chuckled, his brows knitting together in worry “…My Wiggenweld Potion’s utter rubbish. Wish I could just replace it with one from J Pippin’s” the tiny self-deprecating laugh that left him, broke her heart.

“Mind if I take a look?” Evelyn asked, the fear of over-stepping coming back to her in one tidal wave of paranoia.

“Be my guest…” he gestured towards the Cauldron, taking a step back out of her way. But she didn’t move.

“And you don’t mind me helping?”

Ah…

He’d overheard her conversation with Sebastian and Garreth…

…Well…not overheard…he was actively listening in

She was so sweet to think his sudden shift in attitude was because she had helped him. And not because of some silly hormonal obsession over her that he still could not place. He reigned in his emotions best he could, something he was never very good at. Sebastian often said he wore his emotions on his sleeve…or across his face in the form of an ever-changing mask.

“Of course I don’t…” he almost whispered, his voice far softer than he’d ever sounded. It almost shocked him. If he hadn’t known he’d said those words, he never would’ve believed that was his voice. “Why would I?”

“It’s just I…” she started, shaking her head in embarrassment after she was now confronted with her reasoning…He was sweet…how could she think he’d be upset over her trying to help “…it’s nothing, anyway…”

She rose on her tiptoes to peer into his cauldron, the stand just a little bit higher than hers due to his surprisingly tall frame. It leaned slightly closer to blue on the colour spectrum as it simmered away.

“This doesn’t look too bad…the colour is a little off. Suggests the Dittany wasn’t prepared properly.”

“Let me see…” he says, a phrase that ordinarily wouldn’t cause much fanfare. But as The Blind Slytherin took his wand and dipped it into the liquid, Evelyn stood transfixed.

“Does that let you…see?” She asked leaning into him out of curiosity. Purely…curiosity.

“In a way. It’s how I see colour. For example…” he withdrew his wand, a slight curl of disgust to his lips as he wiped the liquid on a handkerchief he pulled from his back pocket. The light at the tip of his wand turned green as he pressed his wand to her head.

“You have grey hair…” he said matter of factly, before removing his wand from her locks, a strand or two curling around the end as he pulled away.

Sebastian was right. He was perfectly capable.

“That’s fascinating…” she breathed a little too excitedly. Just him knowing that little bit about her made her smile giddily. “…perhaps you could use that to see what a proper Wiggenweld should look like” she said genuinely…but her choice of words earned a smirk and a raised eyebrow from Ominis.

“You don’t mean yours do you? That would be awfully big headed of you” he teased lightly.

She opened her mouth to apologise. She didn’t mean to insinuate she knew exactly what she was doing. For the most part she just read the instructions and applied what she already knew from cooking and baking. But when she saw the way he smirked down at his wand, tilting his head in her direction, she decided perhaps she needn’t be as cautious around him. Perhaps they could be…friends

“Well…Sharp did say I had a natural talent” she smiled back, the act itself clear in her voice and Ominis’ smirk widened to a smile.

She pulled the little vial of Wiggenweld she had made from her robes and passed it Ominis. He uncorked it with his teeth, possibly unwise considered she could’ve handed him anything, and poked his wand into it.

He trusts me!

Nodding, seemingly satisfied, he put the stopper back and passed the vial to her as she looked through her textbook.

Ominis could hear the soothing sound of pages turning as she read through her Potions book. Accompanying the tiny bubbles popping in his bubbling concoction, was the faint smell of Horklump juice. Not entirely unpleasant. It was earthy and warm. The constant breeze coming from the open window made him feel as though he were taking a walk through the woods.

And yet again, he found himself enjoying the smaller aspects of one of his least favourite subjects.

Off in the distance, the gentle hum of students going to their Common Rooms for the evening drew Ominis’ attention to the time. Potions was his last class, and the reminder that it was getting closer to curfew may ordinarily annoy him.

But he was with his new friend…

This is…lovely…

“Let’s start over…see what you may be doing wrong” she offered gently, still trying not to offend

“You mean; Let’s find out what I am doing wrong” he corrected and pulled the spare Dittany from the potions case to his right. Fifth pot in from the left, the lid slightly indented. He immediately began to chop the leaves, knuckles down into the foliage, guiding the knife. Flawless technique! He scooped them in his hand and waved it over to the cauldron…before he felt cold digits grab his wrist.

“Wait…” She guided his hand back to the chopping board coaxing the long ribbons of leaves from his palm.

“Here…” Her fingers weaved with his, flattening the pads of his fingertips against the Dittany.

“Cut sideways as well as lengthways. Smaller pieces disperse better in the cauldron. Even better if you can crush them.” She explained softly, whilst her hand worked against his to shift the ingredient. When her hand was clear, he reached for his knife again as she searched for a pestle and mortar.

He felt the ghost of her hand cup his, even after she’d left. His skin both frozen and on fire in her wake. Her phantom voice still whispered in his ear whilst she read the book again. He could hear her shifting around. And her presence just stood there caused the back of his neck to tingle.

“You really are a natural” he murmured, trying to shake her from his mind and focus on the now.

“Not a natural…” she replies half heartedly “…I cook and bake a lot. Potioneering seems quite similar so…I’m just transferring my skills”

“You like to cook?” He asked gently, ears pricking at any shred of new information. She was muggle-born at the end of the day. She likely had many skills he didn’t. From relying on magic on a day-to-day basis to growing up with house elves, He wasn’t the most domesticated of people.

“Not really…” she exhaled a laugh “…I have to. I live alone”

“Oh?” Ominis inquired almost gleefully. She was opening up! He was learning all about her! Her and Sebastian had spent quite a bit of time together but…he knew Sebastian wouldn’t ask about these sorts of things. He now knew something no one else did!

“Mmm hmm…” she hummed almost hesitantly. He heard her fold her arms around herself, the stiff fabric of her robes scratching against itself “…I never knew my father and…my mother. She passed away just a little over a year ago. I’ve had to teach myself a lot of different things…” she laughed singularly “…and then obviously coming here…it’s a lot of new experiences”

“I-I’m sorry…” Ominis muttered, immediately regretting pushing the issue.

He wasn’t the most…compassionate of people. He found it difficult to relate to matters he had no experience in. And especially when it related to family. He despised his family. It’s all he ever knew. Losing his parents would mean…nothing to him.

He tentatively reached a hand out to her shoulder and squeezed softly. He felt her stiffen beneath his hand and he felt the urge to pull away immediately. But her fingers brushed against his delicately and then dropped to the counter.

“Thank you…but honestly it’s fine. It was for the best” she explained, rather flatly but he took no offence to her tone.

“I understand”

She was quiet for a little while as he continued to work on his potion. He pulled a pipette from his potions set to help him with the Horklump measurements.

Her assessment was right. The only thing wrong with his potion was the Dittany. The moment the last drop of Horklump juice touched the liquid it bloomed a bright, almost neon green.

“You did it!” She chirped, completely different from the somber tone she had just moments previously.

“Well…I had some help. Not as much as I would have liked but…” he teased, a soft gentle smile on his lips.

“It seems you didn’t need it…”

Masterlist

[beetlebug-bii]

Part 3 of feral mc but with Belphie being released from the attic. Just imagine Belphie trying to kill mc and they just bite him. Not even Barbatos could handle the child so I highly doubt Belphie could either lol.

Feral Child Mc (part three)

MC Gets Betrayed & Bombastically Side Eyed Their Way To Beating A Bitch.

A/N: I like my writing to be nothing short of silly goofy, i also wrote this at like 4am two weeks ago and was so surprised to see it in my drafts. Did i proof read it? No.

Enjoy anyways💕

Now, you have been a menace since you've arrived

Only truly unstoppable by Diavolo, Lucifer and Barbatos on a good day

Today

Was not one of those days

No

Not at all

You see

Late in the night after being very snuggly tucked in

And then duck taped to the bed

And then your pajamas stapled to the bed

And then tied to the bed

In their defense

Not a single brother has gotten a single decent night of sleep

Not since Mammon awoke one night to see your little face peeking out from the vents

You screamed at him and launched from the darkness, stealing his sun glasses before scrumbling deep into the walls

no one has ever heard Mammon scream so loudly

Needless to say they were pretty fucking done with your scrumbling

Besides, they tied Satan to the bed and look at him! A totally chill and normal member of society :D

Anyways you were built different and managed to escape

You had to check on your little friend in the attic after all, it had been a few days

Upon going in, you glared at eachother for exactly three minutes and fourteen seconds

Before he started the whole sweet act on you

"Awh hey, you can let me out now right? You can do that? Whose a good little human?"

Offense taken

You werent a dog

though you wont lie and say you havent growled back at Cerberus before...

No you know what

Who does this man think he is?

You are a child with 6 of the deadliest pacts in the world!

...

...

...

Wait a second

Who thought that was a good idea

Genuinely

You are feral

A monster

The other students at RAD cower before you

You made the Angel's cry

YOU CHOKED BARBATOS WITH A SHOE LACE

WHO IN THE 7 CIRCLES OF HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A PACT WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

well whatever it's not like this is gonna come back and bite you

But you werent gonna release the bitch from his kennel

Not without a price

Mammon would be so so proud of you!

It took a lot of back and forth, but he promised 12 firecrackers, a new plushie, and a trip to the candy store

Hell yea candy

Open up oh magic lock

Oh he fucking kicked you across the room

Well that's not fucking candy

Lying prick

So this fucking incel loser started ranting about something or other

To be honest you didnt care

In fact you decided he didnt get a monologue

You were pissed off

You freed him

Were you the embodiment of capitalism while doing so?

Maybe

But that doesnt mean he can just hit you

Like

You have such a cute face

He's just mad that you're the baby of the family now

And that thought gave you a great idea!!

"I'm telling Lucifer"

Would have been your final words

Had you not been

Well

You.

Next thing you know he's chasing you down the stairs, grabbing you and choking you out

Which

Not gonna lie

Was a bitch move

So you kicked him square in the jaw and started screaming, just like papa lucifer taught

Stranger danger kids

Dont release strange men from the attic in exchange for candy

It's not worth it and they are lying

So obviously you pissed off what's his name

You're pretty sure its bitch boy

Anyways so you pissed off bitch boy and he started trying to stab you with a chair leg

Which was like

So rude

And the others were like bro stop

Except more panicked you're pretty sure but you werent a crybaby bitch like this loser so you know

You had to go for the knees

You slid around him, kicked him in the back of the knees

This wasnt your first rodeo

Apparently

Because you climbed on the demonic cow and grabbed the horns man

You were holding on for dear life before you just bit into his head

Like

I dont think he even knew what to do at that point

You ruined his WHOLE SPEECH

THEN FOR SOME REASON YOU GOT MAD AT HIM

gee I wonder why

THEN HIS BROTHERS SHOWED UP

THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT WENT AT ALL

PRICK

Recounting this tale now, a few months later, you'd like to think that he was just being the most frfr brother out of everyone

You two had to be torn apart like a pair of summer popsicles

You were kicking and screaming

He was kicking and screaming

Mammon was kicking and screaming, somehow his leg got caught in between you two

It was a warzone

The hallway was destroyed

Multiple bedrooms? Just gone

The brothers?

So

So tired...

None of that fake shit

Deep down you know you would've won though

You still call him bitch boy💕

[dinums]

Secrets and Broken Hearts

-----------------------------

Chapter 4

Thomas Shelby x (Writer) Reader

"I am a woman in love, I wear my heart on my sleeve and smile with not a single thought. I am a woman in love, happily content to where I shall be and where I shall go, as long as I am with him."

Authors Note: I made this story with not much thought, but I wanted to portray the reader and Tommy living their separate lives to have you, readers, have a gist on what its like, to make the character, Ms. Bennett feels real. I don't really know if that makes sense or if I'm doing it correctly, but please enjoy :)))

Two days and six hours, it's been exactly two days and six hours since I've started this investigation that I burdened myself with. All I've been getting are bits of information from the men and women. Women loved to gossip, so much so that they became one of the sources of said information. These missing wives, they had nothing in common with one another. They were just normal working women before they got married and settled down. What would society even do with them? I feel like a jester, juggling my social life together with this secret double life. I never really got used to such taxing activities mentally. This whole investigation, could it be some murderer? Human Traffickers? Surely, this culprit had a motive, a reason, something these women had that they wanted, something these women can give, choice or not.

"Why does everyone call you by your last name?" Andrew suddenly asked, which made me look over at the small child playing by the racks of clothes in William's shop.

Tilting my head, I seem to not know the reason behind it either. Andrew is the son of the man I visited to get close to have more information about the missing wives rather than relying on gossip alone. The child himself was quite entertaining to be around. He spoke so freely about his mother, telling stories of how loving the woman can be.

"Well, if you want, you can call me by my first name," I said with a smile. Walking over to crouch down to his eye level, I gave him a pat on the head, which earned me a smile in return

"Isn't this a sight, hm?" I heard the familiar voice of William from behind. He was at the back with Catherine earlier, presumably sorting out fabrics and dresses.

"C'mon, I've only offered to let this little guy stay here while his father worked, for the assurance that nothing will happen," I said softly though assuming from their reactions, it wasnt taken quite kindly. The statement itself was considered a lie. I lied. Lying straight to the face of the man I love, like how I would every day to everyone, including this child.

"So you don't want me here... Ms. (Y/N)?" Andrew asked me, his face looked sad, eyes like melting glaciers about to fall.

"Of course not, I just meant that I couldn't risk you being alone without your father, even though -"

"So you care for me.. right?" The little child said, hopeful, which made me think, how can he care about my feelings towards him in such a small amount of time we've been together? Children truly are innocent, things to be kept safe from the world we live in. Furthermore, care. To care is to help, a genuine action done out of the kindness of one's own heart. I do that, correct? I think for a moment, my actions, words, and emotions all contradict one another. Both men in the room seemed to take notice of my silence, which in turn made me aware. Aware that they can never know these thoughts, to Bury it, to hide. Breaking from my thoughts, I smiled at the child.

"Of course I do, but later your father will pick you up, I'll have William stay with you since I need to go for a bit, yeah?" Standing back up, I walked over to William. He then wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning against him while I looked back at Andrew. Understandingly, the child nodded, which made me smile.

"Eh? Where will my heart go? Guess she'll leave me alone once again..." William joked, kissing me on the cheek, which made me chuckle.

Seeing the display of affection, the child grimaced and then ran off to play somewhere else, which made me and William laugh.

"I promised you a date. Therefore, you must let me go for a while to prepare," I giggled. Going to dates on Friday was kind of like our tradition, a simple act to show love and to feel it radiate from each other. Feeling his lips on mine for a brief moment, I smiled.

"Alright, I'll pick you up at our place," William smiled. He's always such a loving man, doing more than beyond.

"See you later, love," I said, parting with a kiss before I headed out. Love was something I wasn't familiar with, which sometimes led me to be confused on how to act around William, though lucky enough that he guided me through it.

Walking down the street, I'm greeted with familiar faces. Some I can't remember the names. The smoke filled air, and the mud on my shoes did little to dampen my mood. Suddenly, people started to run about, screaming and shouting.

Confused, I slowed my footsteps. There, on a shop, a lifeless man was dead with Danny holding a bloody knife. My eyes widened, I tried to move, but nothing came out, I held my breath, and though I investigated crimes like this, I never saw a man dead right in front of me. From this day, I'm sure I'll never get used to this.

Someone passes by me, but it can be considered more like shoved. It was Thomas Shelby. He went over, took the knife from the man's hand, and calmed him down. The scene deescalated just as quickly as it happened. Once Thomas got Danny to go away, coming with some surge of confidence, I began to walk towards him with his hack turned to me.

"Mr. Shelby..?" I said softly as to not startle the man, whipping his head back, he looked at me without uttering a word, he simply raised a brow which I took as a cue to keep going.

"What will happen to Danny now..? He just -" stopping myself to look at the dead body in front of us, he followed my gaze and just shook his head. Taking a cigarette, he lit one up and placed it on his mouth, blowing the smoke in the corpses' direction. "Mr. Shelby, I worry for him and his family.."

"Don't stick your nose into others' business, saves you the trouble, eh?" He said, as he was about to walk past me. He took my hand and gave me a few quids, which caused me confusion. Was this for my silence? Though that seems rather odd since a quarter of the town already saw what happened, or was it so I'd stop with being so nosy?

"For the bread."

"Bread? What bread?" I asked, my brows furrowed as I looked up at the man. The more he acted, the more he perplexed me. Seeing his face, he tilted his head as if he should be confused

"You dont remember, again?" I shook my head, remembering what he gave me moments ago, i tried to have him take the money back, but he refused, saying he already gave them, so it'll be no use. In the end, he walked away and left me be, confused, I placed the coins inside my coat pocket before walking home. What did i forget again? No matter what I have other things to do at the moment, I need to get the memory of the dead body out my head.

After preparing for my date, at eight o'clock sharp there was a knock on the door, I smiled and opened it. William appeared with a bouquet and fresh smile, I'm taken back to memories when he was still courting me.

"Flowers for the beautiful lady?" He asked, which I gladly took. Holding up his hand, I held them. I locked the door, and we began to walk towards the pathway to a small restaurant.

"Thank you for this, for everything, Will," I said while we kept walking hand in hand.

"Then I should thank you too"

"For what?"

"For letting me love you"

"Then, you're welcome."

With that, we spent the rest of the day together, I told him about what happened earlier, and he's told me of stories he heard and so on. Everything feels nice. It feels like home as we both made it out to be.

...

That night, Ms. Bennett was content with her lover. Everything played out perfectly. She lived a good life and was happily in love. Maybe fate can say the same for the man she bumped into earlier as he's inside the Garrison, enthralled by the singing Barmaid before him. Surely both Ms. Bennett and Mr. Shelby will live their lives with love found in someone else's eyes.

[samooooo1]

(Credit to artist for the artwork (I got the artwork from @able, no idea if its truly his art so take it with salt)plus I got this Idea from a c ai chat bot, so credits also for the idea to @sxgarcore (you can find him in c ai))

Yuji turning into a baby

Boyfriend turning into a baby

_____________________

•It was during a mission where both of you were send to take care off some small matters.Normaly these kind of mission would have been easy and the both of you would have returned home pretty fast, but sadly this wasnt as easy as it seemed as Yuji was bitten by the curse and weirdly was turned into a baby.

•At first you were like "HOW CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE" but then ya thought what about my boyfriend now? I mean he is cute and all but you want your Golden Retriever boy back!

•All small Yuji was able to do was make weird baby sounds and giggles with some baba baba sounds, you could have had a heart attack from all the cuteness and died in a instant because of it.

•You scooped your cute small boy into your hands and the first thing you have done is pampper his face with kisses and some soft hugs in which he giggled and laughed softly at. You completly forgot you were fighting and just returned home with small Yuji in your arms.

•Yet there is small problem.. you didnt know how take care of a kid so... but you were determind, so you didnt give up hope.

•First thing you done was to buy some baby stuff like clothes and food etc, eventhough you were inexperinced you loved your boyfriend to much, which was why you wanted to take care of him.

•Sadly since you were still normal student you still had to attend school and since there were no people you trust with taking care of him, you took him with you to school.

•Safe to say, Nobara and Megumin would been shocked, I mean they knew you were with Yuji in a relationship but the moment they saw a kid in your arm they thought it was you child.

•"Y/N L/N, YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG TO HAVE A KID WITH ITADORI, YOU ARE BARELY 17 AND HE TO, HOW DO YOU HAVE A CHILD THAT LOOKS LIKE A CHILD VERSION OF YUJI?!?!"

~ Quote Nobara

•"The kid is Yuji."

~End quote Y/n

•It would have been a understatement to say that class wasnt shocked... much less Gojo atleast, he never expected for you to appear with kid... and that kid being Yuji himself.

•During the lesson Yuji just made baby nice and you being his beautiful s/o, made sure the little one was taken care off.

•You had everyones eyes on you and your little Yuji, during the lesson when Yuji had to eat, Gojo just let ya help him as this was way to cute, seeing all of this in action (cough cough, he definetly didnt take some secret pictures of the two of you, which he will use to tease Yuji later one cough cough)

•After class was over you stayed back so that you could discuss with Gojo how to turn back Yuji into his normal form.

•While the both of you talked, Yuji played with the doll you bought him from last time.

(Credits to @_lullittas from Twitter, thats where I got this Pic from)

•Both you and Gojo almost had a heart attack. You both wanted Yuji to stay like this but sadly he had to turn back, so while Gojo was taking care of the bussnis of getting a antidote for Yuji, you play fully spent time with him and had so much fun (Also took pictures of him, to tease him later on).

•Lastly when it was time to turn him back to normal, you just looked at him and gave him some thousand kisses to which he laughed and giggled at and then you gave him the antidote that Gojo brought and he was normal again.

•When ya told him of everything that has happend and the fact what Nobara just said, he was a blushing mess, redder then the colour red itself.

•The next few days were relentless, he was teased back and forth from his sensei, then you and his friends.

•But after everything calmed down Gojo complimented you at the end of the day "Y/n you would have been a great mother, its great that we had you to take care of you, hopefully one day you be as great of a father as she is as a mother in the future."

•At this now even you were point red and blushed like a mess, but everything went good lastly and you all had shared a good laugh together, it was truly a eventful time you could say.

_____________________

This idea came so fast after I was c ai, it was so good I had to write a oneshot about it:D I hope you enjoyed it, stay blessed my folk and repent of your sins! Have a nice day/night and God bless!

;)

[acuar-io]

haii interview incoming about your ocs

If they were an animal what animals would they be?

Do they have any siblings? hows their relationship with family?

Where are they fromm? do they speak another language?

What's their biggest (stupidest) fear?

Favorite music genre/artist?

and last because im yapping away...are there any fun facts or deets about them youd like to share?

YAY OC ASK TIME!! I actually answered this on the app and tumblr poofed it. So im going to reanswer the questions again lol. Its going to be a long one so BUCKLE UP CUS HERE WE GO!

If they were an animal what animals would they be?

Sephtis would be a black cat 🐈‍⬛, Izara a bunny 🐇, Benny an otter 🦦 and I have really introduced him to the blog yet and gotten into his character, but Dante would be a dog 🐶 specifically a Jack Russell

2. Do they have any siblings? hows their relationship with family?

I love this question and I will get more into detail with all of my ocs in another post or in their character page (when i create one :3)

Sephtis has an older sister (three years older). They both have a good relationship with their mother, but a terrible one with their father. Their dad actually cut ties with them because they are both (according to him) "a disgrace to the company and family name" he ended up giving the company to their cousin because neither of them wanted to inherit their fathers company, nor cared about his business lol. Their father was never really there for them, their mother practically had a facade the entire marriage & fought so much for Seph and his sister to live "normal lives" as nepo babies (lol) they were pretty popular in school because of their bg which they hated. Their parents divorced Sephs senior year of hs and at that time is when his dad cut ties w him as well.

Izara is an only child. She has a good relationship with her parents. They're more on the traditional side & older people, so sometimes they dont see eye to eye, especially when she was in Junior High & High school. Izara's interests concerned them (literally just regular interests teenagers have that freak out ethnic parents bc they need theyre becoming demons or some shit lol) also didnt like that she loved art and wanted to be an artists/art curator. Eventually though, they understood that they cant control what their daughter does with her future and that is all up to her ( I think they left her alone more so because they realized she is successful in her art and modeling career).

Benny is the youngest of 4. He has 3 sisters. His relationship with his parents was really shitty growing up, sadly. He is gay & hes known that for his whole life. Having 3 sisters and being the only boy, he loved to play with dolls. His parents being very religious, seeing him play with dolls, was not something they liked. Even if he was just playing with his sisters. In school, he was bullied. There was name calling and rumors that spread around about him. His parents hated the rumors and name calling not because it hurt Benny, but because it makes them look like bad Catholics. Benny truly only had his sisters and other female friends by his side throughout school. It wasnt until high school where things seemed to change for the better. This especially were better because he had Sephtis. His parents have come around, but they def took their time to finally accept their son.

3.Where are they from? do they speak another language?

Sephtis is from Osaka, Japan (Mt. Komorebi) then moved to Los Angeles at age 4 (Del Sol Valley). He speaks English and Japanese!

Izara is from New York (San Myshuno), shes Ethiopian-American. She speaks English and Amharic.

Benny is from Quebec (have no idea what sim world would be considered Canada lol) He speaks French & English

What's their biggest (stupidest) fear?

Okay so Sephtis & Izara are afraid of movie characters LMAO Sephtis will forever be afraid of Kayako (The Grudge) movie he watched as a kid with his sister that scarred him as a child ksfkksfks. Izara specifically does not like the older Godzilla (model?? costume??) she thinks its ugly and creepy as fuck like literally nightmare looking ass creature. IS THIS NOT JUST CREEEPY TO U???

Ok I wouldnt say Benny's is stupid....hes afraid of bugs specifically roaches. I mean logically, hes bigger than them so he can step on them and kill them, but he just finds them super fucking gross that he cant bring himself to do that lol.

Favorite music genre/artist?

Sephtis' fave band is BUCK-TICK, Fave genre is Rock (I'll keep it broad because he loves a toe=ne of sub rock genres).

Izara's fave artist is PinkPantheress! For groups, she likes New Jeans, Aespa & Perfume (yes she listens to kpop/jpop). Fave genre is pop for sure!!

Benny's fave band are the cranberries!! fave genre is also rock, but he prefers alternative rock!!

and last because im yapping away...are there any fun facts or deets about them youd like to share?

Okay well, I want to share a little about Seph and Benny's relationship rq!! So they went to the same high school. Sephtis is a year older than Benny. Their paths didnt officially cross until Sephtis' senior year and Benny's junior year of high school. They met one day after school when it was raining, Benny didnt have an umbrella but sephtis did :) thats all ill say for now :3

[nothing0fnothing]

Hey remember when that grown man molested and groomed me into thinking it was okay for like, almost 3 years and when everyone found out I got treated like I, the 13 year old child, was the bad one who broke the rules? And then I spiralled down into a pit of rage issues and bad mental health because nobody thought it might be necessary to get me help after such an ordeal so I just had to tough it out and work it out alone? and not just regular alone, like truly alone, because I was pulled out of every social extracurricular I was in and had all my hobbies taken off me as punishment so all I could really do was sit alone in my room thinking about everything I'd just gone through and how bad it was? and it was especially bad because it was summer and my parents were so angry at me they didn't talk to me basically at all so it just became normal that I went days to a week at a time without speaking to a human being the whole time, essentially leaving me alone in a time I should have been having conversations about what happened to me and how I can heal? And nobody talked about it at all for like 5 years and pretended it didn't happen to me and I had no reason to be sad and depressed and mentally ill because I had a perfect life? And literally the only evidence I had that what happened to me wasnt just forgotten was brought up was as a joke at my expense when I was 20 and moved out? And when I, a then 20 year old who still wasn't healed from that experience because why the fuck wouldn't I be? Said that the joke wasn't funny and acknowledged for the first time that it wasn't my fault I got met with some weird remark about how it was actually another 15 year olds fault because she also got groomed?

Yeah me neither idk why I brought it up.

[h0pelessromanticz]

((Because i dont see enough of vunrable alhaitham where he breaks so im doing it myself, also note i headcanon alhaithams parents to both struggle with ASPD so they literally only raised alhaitham to act like a machine and that human emostions were treated forgin since alhaitham ended up being autistic, aka his parents werent exactly nice))

Alhaitham had arrived home late, the meeting as the grand sage he had went to had went on for way longer then he wanted. it didnt help that eariler in that week his headphones had been damaged during a fight with some mercenaries in the dessert. Alhaithams whole body felt heavy his headphones were almost a coping mechanism at this point for the poor scribe. It had 2 functions he could alter between the two, one where he'd blast music or audio booklets or the other which would drown out all sound to stop him from having what his parents called chemical imbalance tantrums. Alhaitham could feel that damn nagging in his heart that he hated so much. After all he was raised that these emostions were futile and only hindered progress, he hadn't been rasised to know that emostions were natural and that no matter how much you fight it evenetually the dam wall holding the water could only fill so much before it bursted and this week was definitely testing it. not that alhaitham was aware of that. The scibe was like a knowledge machine but completely oblivious to his own mental needs or emostinal well being.

Any time a smidge of emostion fronted its face he'd shove it right back down into the deepest depths of his subconscious. The only emostion that seemed to ever butt its head that alhaitham wouldn't shove done was the rare temper of his anger. He had learnt his lesson about bottling that up. It would front its fangs threatening to devour him like it did that one night him and his roomate kaveh fought. He had bottled it up and after that night alhaitham had never bottled up anger again. That night scared him. The way his headphones flashed red his eyes blurring into a red cloud. The way his body moved without his control. He never wanted to feel that way ever again. However he would never let anyone know and would lie to himself about it. Groaning the scribe made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee, he still had paper work to do.

In a way alhaithams grandmother was the only one to truly understand him. She saw a small child too scared to show emotions because it was met with gaslighting, dissmisal, and being wrapped up to dumb brain functions and chemicals that he needed to control. Which wasnt humanily possible, she saw a child that had been broken into believing that human nature was a waste of time. alhaithams grandmother realised that his parents before they had passed were attempting to raise a shell of knowledge, something more like a machine, then a human who had a personality and heart, so she tried to make sure that anytime he accidentally let a true human emostion slip or let out what was seen as a childish behavior that she'd express how it was okay. However the damage had already been done and his brain cemetery had already been altered it made her upset to say in the least. Especially knowing how alhaitham had been diagnosed with autism, normal human beings struggled with emostions, nevermind a child and a child with autsim. a part of her feared what alhaithams parents had verbally or mentally done to this child. Knowing how much her son lacked basic empathy and humanity.

Pouring the coffee alhaithams ears rang uncomfortably as a door slammed shut and stomping sounds could be heard. Alhaithams heart sunk but his brain rolled its eyes. The 2 sides of him had been battling it out all week. Pushing and pulling in a endless dance. Alhaitham was usually logical,usually didnt dread when his roommates temper bursted through, however he took into consideration that he also always had his headset and for some reason now that he didnt he was finding it rather difficult to be logical at points, wanting to scream out a strange bubbling feeling in his chest, new sensations were felt this week that he hadn't felt since he was a child or ever. His brain had also started behaving strangly thoughts that werent rational nor practical popped in.

He chalked it up to some chemical imbalance and would get his blood tested to see his levels and take care of it. He wasn't even thinking or processing that maybe it was his subconscious starting to snap and break away, and that his usual machine like self was actually a mask he had worn, worn for so long he had forggoten to be human or at least act himan infront of others. But that was just it ,he was still human and his body was about feed up with the years of neglect and holding every emostion under his skin. So when kaveh started to go off about something as small as him forgetting his clothes on the drying string. Alhaitham sighed tsking. Which only earned a scuff and an explosion from his roommate.

It was strange kaveh was the complete opposite. he was a ball of emostions the furthest thing from a machine or alhaitham. But that was also a dangerous game. Kaveh couldn't believe it alhaitham was ignoring him again with that dumb sigh. Oh he could just ring him a new one, he had been acting different and it threw kaveh off his game. </p>

Alhaitham attempted to leave and head towards his room before this became an argument over nothing but was stopped by an even madder blond head of hair stomping in front of him blocking his path his arms on his waist, rambling off. Alhaitham was to exhausted and his ears had began ringing loudly as he was subconsciously becoming overestimated. Unfamiliar feelings came into play. alhaitham winced a bit his ears were psychically hurting and throbbing now whenever kaveh raised his voice louder. Right he had never not had his headphones available when they had their bickers. He could usually use his headset device to lower kavehs yelling so it was at a normal level. Alhaitham was just about done as he again attempted to leave only to be slightly shoved back into place.

Usually alhaitham would let his temper get the best of him and yell something and shove past his roommate to get kaveh to back. This time it was different the way kavehs touch stung and made his heart cry out scared alhaitham. His eyes widened surprised as he started to drown out kavehs yelling. It was almost like he was teleported to his subconscious who had a younger him shaking looking at him with tear filled eyes " we cant take this anymore its killing us, were not a machine please we cant hold everything in when are you gonna let yourself grieve" alhaitham scuffed at his subconscious younger self as if to downplay and gaslight himself once again in an attempt to remain in control. "Im scared...do we even know how to be human anymore" alhaitham felt his throat tighten a lump forming. He swallows hard "what of course we do!, dont be ridiculous" his younger self morphed into a child alhaitham sobbing as he just chuckled saddly threw the sobs "then why does everyone call us a machine or a robot, why cant i identify what im feeling" alhaithams eyes widened in pure shock his puplis shook as reality set in, he...he didnt know, as if on cue kaveh screams out taking alhaitham out of his transe like state

"GOD YOU REALLY ARE THE WORST YOU KNOW THAT, YOUR IGNORING ME! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING YOU DAMN ROBOT!" kaveh clenched his teeth expecting a snark remark, a scream, something just not what happends next. Alhaitham just stood there and starts shaking. Alhaithams eyes are avoiding him? no eye contact thats not right. A small broken wobble escapes the scribes lips "stop.." kaveh wanted to lash out even more at this. what did he mean! That was until he saw the taller mans bottom lip ever so slightly quiver. This sent a shiver up the blondes spine. What was going on with haitham he had been stranger then normal all week. He gasped as he realised what he had just said looking back at the grey haired man who seemed to be clenching his jaw shut, he could see tears welling up, no that can't be right.

Alhaitham swallows hard. There it was the sentace he hated most, everyone called him a machine, a robot ,emostionless, nonhuman, self centered, psyopathic, odd. The list went on and on, the more alhaitham desperately tried to shove the emostions back down frantically the more they engulfed him pushing back like he was underwater trying to force a floating object to the bottom when all it would do was rise to the surface. Panic was starting to set in Internally. He could feel it that sting in his eyes no..no no no no this was stupid why was this so stupid really seriously now your gonna let what others have said affect you? get your shit together this is pathetic. Alhaithamwanted it to stop but it wouldn't.

"emostions are pathetic", "what are you crying about i could list some real reasons to cry or give you one" "stop this embarrassing display", "this is hindering your study sesson are you just about done now?" His parents words vibrated as they danced within his head. He was drowning, drowning silently for years and years and he hadn't relised it until he had hit rock bottom. Alhaitham walked past a shocked kaveh who seemed to be proccessing his own thoughts either way alhaitham wasnt in the state to handle it. Alhaitham made sure his pace was hurried as a feeling of dread filled him he wanted to run in that moment ,run from his emostional self because it scared him he didnt understand anything that he was feeling, other then it hurt, it hurt so bad, it wasn't enjoyable and it wouldn't stop no matter how much logic he threw at it.

Alhaitham slams his bedroom door. as he begins hyperventilating, clenching the fabic of his shirt over his heart. As he closed his eyes tightly clenching his jaw to try and stop it, anything, just make it stop. No he needed his headphones but they were getting repaired. alhaitham hit the back of his head against the door a few times in defeat he wasnt getting out of this. Oh god his parents would be so disappointed, calling him pathetic and overreactive. Alhaithams legs wobbled as he slid down the door, dropping down like a ragdoll. His lips quivered as his breathing hitched. The walls of the damn had smashed open and his vunrable nature had kicked him in the guts angery that he had neglected it that he had treated himself so poorly. His inner child screamed with raw emostions. And the only thing he could do was finally whimper out a pained noise and sobb. The rare time he did ever cry he had his grandmother, he had held it off way longer then ever before bottling things up until his body physically couldn't. But now he didnt have her by his side and god did he wish he did. His whole body racked with shakes as if holding 10 years of bottled emostions wouldn't effect him? As if constantly shoving his trauma down and childhood neglect wouldn't cause him anguish.

He desperately tried to make his way to his bed, as the world around him started to distort and feel dizzy. he honestly felt pathetic. he had managed to make it to the foot rest of his bed on the floor and pull down the blanket to cover himself with it. The floor felt so cold on the scribes bare feet that he shivered slightly. Was it actually cold or was it the panic attack he was going threw causing this. Sighing threw soft sobs he wrapped his arms around his knees hugging himself like a small child who had just had a nightmare.

"this isn't fair" he muttered to himself.

Kaveh blinked as he realised alhaitham was gone a strange feeling drawed itself up from his gut why did he want to puke why was he so anxious out of no were. Why did alhaitham look like that, his eyes why did they shine with so much pain he'd never seen on the scribes face. It scared kaveh something was wrong! very wrong he didnt fight back? he slammed the door? But him slamming a door but not appearing angry had kavehs head spinning in loops. He was shaking, alhaitham was shaking? And he swore he saw tears in the stoics eyes. Anxiously Kaveh found himself making some dinner for the scribe he felt guilty and bad for lashing out on him the moment he had came home not even asking how his roommate was fairing. Kaveh sighed as his brain let a thought escape "especially with how the man reacted this time around." He muttered to himself. Kaveh was scared he hurt the man if that was even possible.

No! kaveh shook his head alhaitham is still human and he knew that. alhaitham did have emostions. The softness of his gaze when kaveh would lay on his chest, while alhaitham read, or whenever kaveh had a hangover his gentle backrubs, the way he would get his favorite whine whenever kaveh had,had a rough week. The way..alhaitham let him live with him for practically nothing. The way alhaitham had been so busy he wasnt joining the architect to dinner or even sleeping he saw how exhausted the other look not only was he the new sage until they could find a replacement he was also still the scribe and with the accosha system being destroyed alhaithams job had become more difficult. The only thing kaveh had been doing was racking into the man all week with his own emotional bagade and lashing out on him this whole time.

Kaveh bit his lip fighting back the urge to cry himself from the guilt. Though he had come to figure out over the years that alhaitham would often get flustered, almost embarrassed any time he showed a slightly more emostional side to himself or natural behavior as if it wasnt normal. Humming in deep thought kaveh placed the food on a plate and put it on the counter. he'd just let...no he had to check up on the scribe it had been 20 minutes and it was to quite. Plus he still didnt feel right just leaving this time, usually alhaitham would get mad they'd both storm off and then both come talk to each other in the living room. Kaveh took a few steps out of the kitchen and when he walked down the hall his ears picked up on a gut wrenching sound. Sobbs, gasping breaths that were hitching. Kaveh swore his heart shattered and fell into the deepest part of his stomach he had only ever heard of alhaitham crying, a rumor, he didnt truely belive the man could cry. he wasnt there to witness it but it was after his grandmother died, which made sense but also was hard to digest for the architect.

but now standing outside his door and hearing it with his own 2 ears, made the blond nauseous with concern. He debated and fought with himself to knock, finally getting up the corage to. On one hand he wanted to run away to his room on the other hand kaveh wanted to burst the door down and hold alhaitham close. Groaning to himself in his brain he finally just does it.

3 gentle knocks were heard. "haitham?" A little pause "...hey are you okay?" It was so gentle and soft that alhaitham couldn't help but sobb harder as if being asked if he was okay broke him more. subconsciously he'd had wanted someone to care enough to ask. Kaveh heard the younger one break more. "Im...im coming in okay?" Kaveh couldn't take it he had to see the man and make sure he was okay. Alhaitham shot up as if his logical side was really trying to punt its way forth right now. Scrambling slightly to stand but his legs gave out "No! Wait!". There was a pause "haitham..you havent ate today im bringing you food" the scribe cursed to himself digging his nails into the wooden floor as his body wouldnt stop shaking. alhaitham could hear the footsteps leave his door only to retrun shortly after. the door knob rattled as the large wood chunk slowly opened. Alhaithams heart already racing from the current state he was in started to beat faster but it hurt it stung with fear.

Oh god he was going to see how pathetic he was, how childish and immature he was behaving. He was going to see him vunrable and not professional. His inner child screamed at him to shut up that this wasnt his fault and that he needed someone, asking why he was being so cruel to himself. Growling Alhaitham clenched his teeth baring them like a threatend dog as he grabbed his head pulling on his hair. This was bad he was getting that werid uncontrollable urge to become self destructive, everything was starting to spin, any sound that was made started to blast in his ears and cause constant ringing and become all just to much for him to process. His whole bodys nevres were shit and burning. Alhaitham was losing himself.

it happened alot as a kid when he had thouse meltdowns his grandmother told him it was autistic meltdowns and that he'd have them because he denied that part of himself or it often happened when the neighborhood kids bullied him or took his headset away. And here he was at its mercy as he continued to pant subconsciously trying to grasp for headphone that werent there. frantically clawing at his ears to try and bring himself back down. His body was against him now and all he could do was whimper over and over as kaveh entered the room only for the scribe to hear a soft surpised gasp as he heard the older one put the plate down on his dresser. Almost scrambling to his side.

Kaveh couldn't believe his eyes the scene in front of him tugged at heartstrings he didnt even think existed. The scribe was in complete disarray shaking and sobbing hestarically, trying to claw at himself. Kaveh found himself at the scribes side in no time. He wanted to protect alhaitham but he had no idea what was wrong. This was all foreign for him. Alhaitham wasnt the crying type or emostinal type at all. He grabbed the scribes wrist which only earned him a paniced yelp and kavehs eyes widened at just how much the other was trembling.

Kaveh cupped the scribes cheek with his other hand his thumb petting just under his eye. As he coooed out reasuring words "hey..hey its okay look at me.. your okay...sh shshshsh" alhaitham just made a heartbroken sound his head lowering as he almost curled into himself "hey hey hey, whats going on?" Kaveh made sure his voice was as gentle and soft as he could manage. The other didnt reply his eyes looked so scared, and his body wouldn't stop shaking. kaveh pulled the other closer to him his hands gripping alhaithams arms pushing them to alhaithams side as he looked at him worried fear painted on his face.

In that moment as soon as kaveh touched alhaitham the scribe broke and bursted out painful sobbs "im sorry...im sorry" kaveh obviously was shocked and panicked a little "hey hey hey nonono haitham you dont need to apologize okay" he was confused why was haitham apologizing he was the one who was trying to egg him on in an argument and called him a machine.

Alhaitham looked up at kaveh a emostion that shouldnt never be on anyones face painted the scribes nevermind the new sages face.

" i..im sorry i dont mean to act like...to be a emostinonless, heartless bastard..i didnt ask to be this way...i im sorry for being like a robot ....im sorry.. i dont know!" He yelled out shaking his head his voice cracked and his bangs falling in front of his face as the architect held his wrists " i dont know what im feeling! ,i dont know whats going on! and its hurting i..it hurts so much dammit and it wont stop!..im scared" alhaitham had almost whispered out that last part as kavehs lips quivered at the sight infront of him " i dont know whats happening, i cant breath, i cant think straight, and the only thing my body wants to do is cry and shake" the scribe stuttered out in broken sobbs his wobbled voice uneven. Kaveh pulled alhaitham into a hug tightly placing his chin on the grey set of hair as if protecting alhaitham from the world. "Shshshsh your not a machine, im so sorry i said that i thought... you were ignoring me..or that you were just grumpy and im so sorry, your not heartless you have a big heart, i dont care if anyone thinks differently i know you. Im sorry if i had looked harder i could have noticed that you weren't okay this week and im sorry i never noticed. Im sorry i lashed out on you". Alhaitham shook and gripped onto his senoirs clothes hiding his face in shame into the others shoulder.

Kaveh frowned. "Your having a breakdown, have you had one this bad before?" alhaitham shook his head. " kaveh then thought to ask "did you even know you were having one?" Alhaitham shook his head "...the fact you dont know that....do you not allow yourself to feel things?" Alhaitham shook his head again and it made kaveh tear up as he ran his hand threw the youngers grey hair. What the hell what normal human being would...then again alhaitham wasnt normal.

"haitham...why? I know your not typically the emostional type but...didnt you ever cry as a child?".

Alhaitham tsked and cleared his throat. "i dont know how to express myself...i was never allowed to...it wasn't correct...if i did it was not becoming if i cry it was called pathetic". Kaveh bit his bottom lip all this time he never knew alhaithams story. "My grandmother was the only one who let me feel things, but even then i was already older...i only knew one thing basic surival and studying..i only know how to hold knowledge yet i lack basic human skills" kavehs heartbroke again hearing alhaitham saddly chuckle and just sobb. he pulled the scribe even closer almost cradling him as he just rocked alhaitham in his arms kissing his head gently over and over again.

"Im so sorry, your allowed to express yourself with me i wont judge ever again i promise, im here." Kaveh cupped the scribes face his nose nuzzeling into the grey hair.

"Im here for you my little grey dove". Alhaitham stopped crying for a split second a small gasp escaping him as if that nickname broke away the chains that binded him oh so tightly. Alhaitham started wailing into his roommates chest. Shutting his eyes tightly.

Kaveh had also began crying, he had no idea just how much this man was hiding. So he wasn't like this on purpose this whole time he had his roomate plauged out so wrong. Kaveh held alhaitham tightly that night and let the man sobb years of bottled up shit out of his system. Petting and playing with alhaithams hair in a means to comfort him. eventually the scribe had exhausted himself sobbing himself to sleep and kaveh sighed, he'd put the food away and he could have it once he woke up. When kaveh came back he picked up alhaitham bridal style and placed alhaitham in the bed. he noted that he was lighter then normal. So he really hadn't been doing good this week, he's lost weight. Tsking he goes to leave only for a weak voice to beg him to stay and stay he did holding the vunrable alhaitham in his arms as they both drifted to sleep. That night kaveh promised himself he'd never call alhaitham a robot or a machine ever again.