#I will live and die on this hill

[milfmilker420]

midnight memories is the superior album btw

[herrscherofmagic]

I present to you… ArgentEden: The 4th Flamechaser, and keeper of the Signet of Beauty!

[banned-for-horny]

so like i have this idea of, during the whole "kylar kidnaps whitney to try and break em" bit that kylar starts getting off on the whole skewed dynamic of being smaller than whitney in every way, but is also not the one currently being violently drilled by a horse dildo sex machine.

meanwhile whitney's ready to bite kylar's dick off but also getting off on being dominated by someone smaller/pathetic.

namely im just saying that i think kylar would somehow be a dom but in the weird submissive way.

[hannibalismycannibro]

I've seen some people be confused by Job flashback and stating how "ooc" they believe Aziraphale is in it, and as your local S2 Flashback Defender, I think some of you are missing the significance of this story? This specific flashback is very early in Aziraphale's life on earth; other than Eden, we've only seen him during The Flood, which he (albeit poorly) defends to Crowley. The Flood is Gods plan, he cannot question or disobey it, he MUST follow Heaven's orders regardless of how heinous those orders may be; Heaven is the side of light, of truth, of GOOD. Aziraphale is on the GOOD side, so there must be legitimate reasoning behind these orders.

*It's important to know the real biblical context of The Flood, which is when God believed the earth was so filled with evil that He destroyed it, sparring only Noah and his family due to them being the only righteous people left. While we obviously know The Flood was a horrific act regardless of who or what was dying, Aziraphale can very much rationalize this as being necessary for "the greater" good of humanity and The Plan, despite how obviously flawed it is.* Now, let's look at the Job flashback. Job is a righteous man, he lives his life devoted to God and is "one of the nicest men in the world!", yet he's subjected to a senseless bet between sides. This throws Aziraphale for a loop because... what purpose does this hold? You're torturing an innocent man, killing his children, and for what? For the first time, Aziraphale consciously acknowledges that Heaven is WRONG. There is no "greater good" in this act, it's cruel and senseless and he cannot go along with it. Aziraphale outright disobeys God’s plan and attempts to stop Crowley from killing Job’s children. Aziraphale puts his faith not in God's goodness and mercy, but in Crowley's. He KNOWS Crowley would never do such a cruel, senseless act. Up until this point, Aziraphale has been playing his part. He follows his orders, gives his obedience, and doesn't concern himself with human aspects; Food is gross matter, and wine is a source of drunkenness! It's what the other angels live by, he should too! It's what's right! But the cracks in this façade have formed. The obedience is shaken, the faith in his institution is shaken, and in this blasphemous clusterfuck, he lets himself discover one of his most human aspects - eating. Something he probably has been curious about but denied himself, going by his downright gluttonous reaction (I mean, what’s a little gluttony at this point?). The fact it's Crowley - a demon - who introduces him to one of his most human characteristics, not heaven, the side Aziraphale so desperately tries to please and obey, makes it all the more bittersweet. Crowley and the earth gave him more humanity, Heaven denied him of it. This portion of the story is EXTREMELY important to Aziraphale's character. Aziraphale may seem "ooc" (I don't personally believe he is, but I digress) bc he's NOT the Aziraphale we know yet. This is Aziraphale in one of his earliest forms, at the beginning of his journey. This is Aziraphale at the start of his tumultuous relationship w/ Heaven. This is Aziraphale's worldview changing forever, his views on his home & peers changing forever. This is him realizing something is WRONG. Heaven is not what he thought it was, and he can't always go along. It's why we see him battling himself throughout the flashback + having a breakdown at the end, assuming he's going straight to hell for lying, despite making the right decision. We are watching one of the most important moments of Aziraphale's character, of his mindset. Maybe I'm going overboard (probably), maybe it's the religious trauma speaking (also probably), but I will die on the hill when it comes to the quality/significance of this flashback.

[probablysomeproblems]

The Nilou and Alhaitham besties agenda never ends

I think after the coup they are friends and they get coffee once a week (and Kaveh finds out and is like “so you’ll respect The Arts TM when it’s not me” and alhaitham just goes “yup.”)

[myrunawaysweets]

You know what's not actually talked about enough?

Plush girls!

And yes, I could say "fat" or "plus size" or "big" but in the way I'm going to talk about them, I think "plush" is the best word to be used.

Plush girls are so beautiful and heavenly!

Yes skinny girls are nice and all, but a girl with soft big thighs? AMAZING!

a girl with a nice soft tummy? HEAVENLY!

Anyone who doesn't find the beauty in these women, have not rested their head onto these lovely creations of God.

I'm practically surrounded by women like this and it's amazing, and more often than not, they are really fucking strong.

Like I just want to squish their cheeks and kiss all over their faces

I want to give them big hugs

I want to braid their hair and give a little kid on the top of their head when I'm done

I want to spend hours upon hours of cuddling and just loving the fuck out this woman.

I need to make her feel like a pretty fuvking princess CAUSE SHE IS.

IM FUCKING TIRED OF PEOPLE MAKING THESE GIFTS FROM APHRODITE FEEL LIKE SHIT.

LIKE These women can and will beat the ever loving shit out of you, but these women are also very kind and sweet??? LIKE ID HINESTLY FIGHT THE WORLD FOR YOU.

Like have you ever been hugged by these goddess'?

It's one of my favourite feelings in the world.

My main goal to become strong is so I could carry these strong princess's and make them feel as protected as they need to.

I feel like I'm getting carried away, so have a nice day.

[magnetic-rose]

i can 100% understand loving solas for the complex character he is but i just cannot understand i CANNOT understand people seeing him go "hmmmm... dwarves are just severed limbs imitating life without a purpose... hmmm... qunari are savage barbarians... hmmmm... the modern elf might as well be stupid uneducated tranquils... and that's why i justify killing them!!"

and be like

"omg you guys what if solas is right??? food for thought teehee."

think about what you are sayiinnngggggg.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[bludhavensbirdboy]

i believe in “jason todd has that little tummy pouch that comes with a 4/6pack” supremacy like don’t get me wrong jason is pure muscle and is unnaturally fit like all the batkids but he’s massive and he’s big and he comes with that little soft belly bit when he’s not tensing. dick grayson is lean he always has been he’s doing all sorts of training and he’s THEE circus boy he’s slender and fit and has no body fat he’s got a fully defined 6 pack on a bad day not even trying cause that’s just how’s he’s built. JASON TODD HOWEVER is a man with meat on his bones. he’s got the massive arms that are squishy when he’s relaxed but fucking huge and defined when he tenses he’s got the little soft tummy pouch but again when he tenses or when he works out or even just moves/fights you can see he has a 6 pack. Jason todd gains something from having weight on him it makes him 10x more intimidating when all anyone sees is how broad and big and intimidating red hood really is just JASON TODD HAS A SLEEPER BUILD KIND OF cause it’s not really hidden cause to look at him you already know your fucked but when he acc shows how much muscle he carries on him it shocks people that type of sleeper build just omg Abhhhhhhhh

[rad-batson]

Batlantern Headcanons Because I Found My New Brainrot and I Cannot Contain Myself (Platonic or Romantic, You Decide <3)

Hal is the only one who gets away with calling Bruce nicknames. Oliver tried calling Bruce “Spooky” once. He still has nightmares.

Several long-winded missions combined with Hal’s couch-surfing escapades have resulted in Hal having his own official Wayne guest room.

Alfred has smacked Hal with a dish towel several times. Reasons include: trying to wash the dishes, using a mini vac that he brought from home, and spitting gum into the garbage without wrapping it in a tissue first.

Tim gave Hal all of their streaming passwords to piss Bruce off. Hal proceeded to make his own profiles because he fears nothing, so Bruce changed all of his profile names to “Parasite.” Since then, it’s turned into an all-out war of renaming Hal’s profile every time they’re using it.

Highlights so far have included Sugar Baby, Freeloader, Ring Pop, Green Abomination, Magical Girl, Noisemaker, The Better Side Piece, and This is Your Official Eviction Notice Hal. (Bruce still hasn’t changed the passwords.)

Hal: You need to let go of your fear, Bats. Let’s do a simple breathing exercise. Bruce: I am breathing. Hal: No, like calming breaths. Follow my lead, okay? In- no, not that fast. Maybe close your eyes first. In…and out-No. No. Are you having a panic attack? Do I need to call someone?

For one mission, a few other JL members had to go undercover as couples. Bruce and Hal were the spares and paired up out of necessity. To everyone’s surprise, however, they were the most convincing duo because they “bickered like an old married couple.”

Bruce: I’m growing soft, Clark. I’m weak now. Clark: You told Hal ‘Good job.’ What’s wrong with that? Bruce: It’s unprofessional! *in the other room* Hal: I think Batman just confessed his undying love to me.

They have each other’s coffee orders memorized and regularly prepare the other’s coffee for them out of habit when they’re together.

After a while, Hal stops playfully flirting with everyone and reserves it only for Bruce because he gives the best reactions.

At a ‘Thank You, Justice League’ party hosted by Bruce Wayne, Hal slips up and flirts with Bruce in his civvies, only for Brucie Wayne to flirt back without missing a beat.

Hal had to go cool down in the bathroom for a few minutes. He was not ready for that. (Bruce is so fucking smug too. He’s been waiting FOREVER to give Hal a taste of his own medicine.)

Hal, introducing Bruce to the Lantern Corp: This is my pet bat. Careful, he bites.

Bruce, introducing Hal to new JL members: This is my partner. He’s been in training for ten years.

During an important strategy meeting, Hal waves his hand around, and Bruce just sighs. “What now, Lantern?” “Your plan of attack has like four holes in it.” “Where?” Hal gestures to the areas and suggests different strategies, and suddenly Bruce is like Does anyone else think it’s hot in here?

He lies in bed that night contemplating every single life event that’s lead up to Hal Fucking Jordan turning him on with his impeccable battle strategy.

Barry: I think Batman’s mad at me. He didn’t even react when I told him about the great rescue mission from last week. Hal: What do you mean? He was smiling the whole time. Barry: His face didn’t move an inch. Hal: You didn’t notice the lip twitch?

Batman has blackmail material on every single Justice League member, but only Hal has blackmail material on Bruce and the guts to use it. (Hal knows Bruce gets pedicures for fun. And he gets little designs on his toes too.)

Arthur: So when did you and Green Lantern start….you know. Bruce: No, I do not. What did we start? Arthur: You know what?! I think I forgot to walk my fish. Bye!

*Barry sees Hal with a hickey while they’re drinking coffee* Barry, jokingly: Did Bruce give you that? Hal: Yes, actually. How’d you know? Barry, backing away frantically: Oh okay, cool! Okay okay. Cool. Cool cool cool. Okay. Bruce, entering: What’s with him? Hal: I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to like the mug you bought me, though.

The JL has a betting pool called “BatLantern FMK” where they bet on which will happen first: will they fuck, marry, or kill each other?

Only Clark, Diana, and J’onn know that one of them happened already

[lunatheskier]

Marvel films wishes they could do with comedy what AoS did. Phil Coulson making bad dad jokes all the time, "prostitutes plural?!" "get ready for a large file transfer" quips that actually make sense in context and for the characters delivering them, the prank wars that actually make sense to have, deke being really bad at life in the modern world, ward and Fitz's mission, everything. god there's so much that AoS does that is absolutely hilarious but the funny moments don't take away from the serious ones. They make sense with the characters too. They establish that Coulson makes bad dad jokes episode one and then Stick With It! The team jokes with each other in a way that you do when living with people in a small area for months at a time. Marvel movies could never

[neotrix-09]

"FunnyGummy" this, "Bunnydoll" that -

LET'S GET (Legally) WEIRD.

[andy-clutterbuck]

The Ones Who Live | 1x03 - Bye

[mid-knight-black]

Buck looks so good when he is ✨ d e p r e s s e d ✨

[torchickentacos]

Truly annoying when most of a song fits Things and Situations perfectly but there's one line or verse that just throws the entire thing off. How dare.

[polysucks]

What do you think: which asoiaf house deserve better?

It’s too easy to say the Manderlys or the Tarbecks deserved better.

I am a true hater to my core. If there is one thing about me everyone should know is that I will find something to complain about. Periodt.

So, let’s talk about which house deserved worse.

House Bracken

If any house deserved worse, it’s these perpetual, scheming, backstabbing opportunists. The Brackens are like that stupid fuckin coworker who keeps getting their corporate cock sucked despite being objectively terrible at everything. Their entire existence revolves around making bad decisions, siding with the stupidest decision makers in Westerosi history, and somehow still managing to stick the landing. The only reason they’re still around is bc the chad Blackwoods would be considered kinslayers if they finally followed through with ganking the virgin Brackens because they WONT STOP FUCKING THEM. AND BREEDING.

“Waahhh fuck the Blackwoods, they suck, I should burn their houses down!” Sir, that’s your AUNT. Y’all are literally all First Men.

Those horsefuckers have been “feuding” (it’s literally hearsay) with House Blackwood for thousands of years, and they still can’t get a single W. Go ahead, go check in on them, take a shot whenever they are either betraying someone, sucking the cock of whoever’s in “power” this week, or trying to steal land that they will inevitably lose again. You’ll get alcohol poisoning. They backed Aegon the Dork in the Dance (woof), they backed the Blackfyres in the rebellion (really?), and in ASOIAF, they’re STILL making terrible choices, switching sides between the Starks and Lannisters like a bad wifi signal

And let’s be real—their entire personality is just hating the Blackwoods. That’s it. You ask a Bracken what they care about, and it’s not power, wealth, or horses (the Rills did horses better get a new gimmick)—it’s screwing over the Blackwoods at every possible turn. Get a fucking hobby. Touch GRASS. Suck CLIT.

Meanwhile, the Blackwoods are over here with their REAL weirwood tree, ancient legacy, and genuinely interesting history and baller fucking seat (Raventree Hall??? HELLO????? METAL AS FUCK. Stone Hedge is so LAME!) , while the Brackens are just flailing around going, “What if we betrayed our allies again? That worked so well last time!” 🤦‍♀️

Honestly, the only reason they still exist is sheer fuckin’ luck at this point.

First off, House Bracken is basically the Riverlands equivalent of Elon Musk. Hollow threats. Zero rizz. Fake as fuck. Total LOSER. Weak ass bark, zero bite. They act like they’re a major power, but they’re not. They think they deserve what they have!!!! Every time they make a move, it backfires spectacularly, and yet they just keep doing it. They fail upward!!!! They fucking learn nothing. They are medically incapable of making a good decision. I’d say it’s in their genes but the family tree of the Brackens and the Blackwoods is a wreath, and the Blackwoods don’t fail this fuckin hard.

Greatest Hits:

• “We Were Kings, We Prommy!” – The Brackens love to tell people that they used to be kings in the Riverlands. Oh, you were kings? Cool. So were the Blackwoods by your standards, and guess what? They didn’t get demoted to second-rate nobility because they were bad at being kings. That was time. That was just a natural change in power dynamics. Eso es solo economía basica. (Also, their kingdom lasted longer but like. Whose counting?) (me. I’m counting.)

• The Dance of the dumbasses – During the Dance the Brackens backed Aegy (imagine being that wrong) while the Blackwoods supported Rhaenyra the Perfect and Did Nothing Wrong. But here’s the kicker: not only did they lose, but they also got their castle burned to the ground by the very same side they supported. Imagine baking ur neighbor a pie and they still burn ur house down. Embarrassing. Whack. Sad. Take a lap.

• Blackfyre Rebellion: Worst Bets Edition – When the Blackfyre bastards popped up, the Brackens were like, “Hell yeah, bad decision 2: electric boogaloo!” Meanwhile, the Blackwoods, once again, stayed loyal to the crown. Because it was in their best interest. Guess who won? I’ll give you a hint: not who the Brackens backed. And guess who got punished for backing them?

• Their Weirwood Crimes – This one’s just sad. The Chad Blackwoods, like proper First Men, still worship the Old Gods and have a massive weirwood tree. The virgin Brackens, meanwhile, chopped theirs down centuries ago, probably just to be spiteful. The internalized racism is coming from inside the house. And where did they build their new godswood? On top of the stump like a bunch of insecure toddlers. It’s like they knew the Old Gods weren’t on their side and tried to cover it up. Lady Bracken (geodndndge please what is her name please reply to my emails) is correct when she says the gods are punishing them. Y’all deserve it. Stupid horse fuckers.

• The Award for Most Inconsistent Allegiances – Every major conflict, the Brackens flip-flop faster than an American politician on Twitter. Like we call Walder Frey the Late bc he’s opportunistic— man what the fuck about the Brackens? They backed the Tullys, then turned on them. They supported the Lannisters, then tried to hedge their bets when things got rough. Go fuckin cry about it. Pound sand. Die mad. They switched sides between the Starks and Lannisters during the War of the Five Kings like they were speed-dating for survival.

It’s already bad that the Brackens are losers (imagine being born a bracken. I would simply. choose not to. Be. Born.), but the fact that they’ve spent thousands of years being consistently outclassed by the Blackwoods just adds insult to injury. The Blackwoods have a richer history, cooler symbolism, and an actual legacy—while the Brackens have…horses? They fuck horses? The Rills got horses, too, man. Pick a better personality. And a track record of failure? It’s like watching a rivalry between a college professor and a loser who gets kicked out of bars for trying to fight the furniture.

Honestly, House Bracken only still exists because somehow they keep getting pardoned after every betrayal. Westeros has wiped out noble houses for way less (RIP House Darklyn and Tarbeck gone but not 5gottem).

They’re like fucking cockroaches. They just keep crawling back. House Bracken should’ve gone extinct centuries ago, they refuse to die.

Fucking clown shit for real.

This message has been proudly brought to you by the Official Council for Blackwood Riverlands Supremacy—preserving history, honoring the Old Gods, and reminding you that Brackens have been taking L’s since the Dawn of Days.