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𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕁𝕒𝕫𝕫𝕒'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞 - ℍ𝕚𝕤 𝕊𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪
This is a fan translation only. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.
Both chapters 6 & 7 discuss snippets of Jude's past records. If you'd like to read the event in full, then please check out my collab translation here.
It’s a member-based club where upper-class woman gather every night.
When I went undercover, I found out it was nothing more than social club where “Gentlemen” waited upon women.
In order to obtain the title deed to some land, I played an absurd game, but the game ended at the last minute…..
Kate: Haa, Haa…..Wh-what about Ellis?
Jude: Don’t worry, he’ll make it out easy.
I ran out of the mansion with Kate, breathing heavily as I stood next to her in a nearby garden.
(Whatta farce. How pointless.)
Kate: But is that all right, you missed your chance to claim the land deed...
Jude: Pretty sure that noble lady’s in the habit of cheatin’ ‘n other things.
“You’re fooling around with young men again!”
By the comment made by the husband who had burst in, it’s clear that woman is a repeat adulteress.
Jude: Got loads t’shake her down with, I’ll just take it later on.
Kate: I see. What can I say, that’s cunning of you….Heh, hehe….
Jude: Ha, what? Yer laughin’ outta the blue’s creepin’ me out.
Kate: I mean, I never expected my first Crown mission in a while to end like this.
Kate: Plus….Pff…..Jude your fake personality’s something you’d see in a dream!
My eyes were drawn to Kate as her shoulders shook and she contained her laughter with the back of her hand.
(That’s the first time seein’ such defenseless laugh.)
When I picture the expressions of the woman called Kate, an angry face or a confused face comes to mind…..
(Yeah. There hasn’t been a situation where I’ve seen this girl laugh since we met.)
(��…Regardless.)
Jude: Huh…..so ya can laugh like that?
Kate blinked several times and looked away bashfully.
Kate: That’s because you’re usually saying things that make me angry, Jude.
Jude: ‘Cause ya ain’t a bit hateful it’s cute.
Kate: C-Cute….?
Kate’s cheek turn a pale crimson, like they had caught fire.
(The hell’s that innocent reaction?)
Jude: Ha, so foolish. Yer a damned fool if yer pleased with that rubbish.
Kate is a woman who’s terrible at giving up, stubborn, and lives by following her heart.
(That’s why)
You’ve stepped too far into darkness.
Jude: Ya got flowers for brains, so time to stop goin’ to places like that.
Jude: You’ll end up losin’ everythin’, lookin’ all kinds of pitiful ‘n humiliated.
Kate: Thanks for the advice, but don’t worry, I won’t be going back!
(Oh, really?)
Kate said self-satisfied, then tilted her head asking herself a question.
Kate: Anyway, the club turned up clean, so Crown doesn’t need to condemn it, right?
Jude: Yeah it’ll be left alone, whether that stupid place’s ‘round or not, it ain’t for better or worse.
It’s rare for a mission to end in such carefree manner.
(This world’s overflowin’ with revoltin’ things…..)
[Flashback]
Jude: ….Argghh, why’s this happenin’ to me?
Jude: I…..hate this, I….resent this, This is….pathetic.
Jude: Even if I regret it….it’s too late.
Jude: Haha…….really….
Jude: …..It’s funny how miserable I am….
[Flashback ends]
Jude: ‘Sides….it’s better than buyin’ ’n playin’ with women for their bodies, innit?
Although the words I grumbled probably didn’t reach Kate.
I changed the subject before my shitty past that I don’t even want to remember is touched.
Jude: Oh, forgot to ask ya somethin’ important.
Kate: Something important? What is it?
Jude: Which one was the lady gonna choose in the end?
Kate: That’s….
I don’t care about this girl’s feelings or anything.
“Gentleman” - It’s just losing to a weak man who’s kept by a woman is nauseating.
That’s all it is.
(…..Ha, what’s that look?)
Kate’s eyes darted around like an idiot.
The look on her face told me exactly who she was going to choose.
(Ya shouldn’t be in a place like this after all.)
The darkness is unsuitable for a woman who can’t even conceal her emotions.
Jude: Woman’s so easy t’read it ain’t even funny.
Kate: I haven’t told you the answer yet!
Jude: Yeah, yeah, foolish ‘n cuuute. I’m goin’ home.
As I started walking, the pitter-patter of Kate’s footsteps trailed behind me.
The “fairytale keeper’s” unjust contract was to be for one month.
(…..Get out of this darkness quick, princess.)
(And then forget all ‘bout it.)
Although, I feel like it would be boring,
If I no longer hear the sound of desperate footsteps chasing me.
[Main Story Master List] [Chapter 7]
T/L: "That's all it is." Sure it is bruh. She's already infected you.
Dividers: @.natimiles
Tags list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @injudescoat @aeyumicore @complexivelovely @cosmowgyral @lunaaka @rosalyne08 @8the-perfect-lie8 @voydsoul @goustmilk @kraiyne
If you wish to be added (+18 YO), or removed from my translations tag list, please let me know!
#ikevil translations#cybird translations#ikevil jude#jude jazza#jude jazza translations#Jude Jazza Route#ikevil#ikemen villains
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Worth the Fall
Summary: James Bucky Barnes WAS an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. You came along and knocked him on his face. Despite the fact you have questions about Bucky and your parents’ conversation at Thanksgiving, you’re hitting your groove as a couple, but there is no time for alone time.
Word count: 3.4 K
Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This part of the story is getting everything caught up to a month ago, lmao. Thank you for continuing to rock with this story. And let me know if you like it (I hope you do!)
This fic is in the Knock You Down AU, and comes immediately after both You've Got Me Thinking and the Steve Rogers fic Peach III.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Smut! Initial angst, Steve and Peach, Bucky’s anxiety. No time for nookie! Flirting Intimations of sexting and phone sex. Praise kink, fluffy Bucky, horny Bucky, dom Bucky. F@cking versus making love, wall time, sex with clothes on, raw p in v, creampie, after care, intimations of oral (f receiving!) dirty talk, Bucky applies for a second job. Not Beta'd. All errors my own.
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
————
You walked along the sand and inhaled the ocean air.
You were shaken to the core.
Bucky Barnes had surely just taken your parents out to ask for your hand in marriage. But it was so soon, how could he be so sure?
Also, you were an independent woman. How dare he talk to your parents before he asked you to marry him!
He wasn’t your feudal lord.
You were scared witless and turned to the waves to try and calm down.
“He loves the hell out of you, you know.”
Steve had fallen in beside you as you stared at the ocean. You looked up at him, trying to smile, but failing. To Steve you looked terrified.
“It’s just so….”
Steve smiled to himself, remembering that Bucky had purchased the ring weeks before, after just a few days of knowing you. But that wasn’t his story to tell.
“Just know that I’ve never seen him like this. And I’ve known him since we were kids. He’s never been so open, so determined with a woman before. You make him a better man. It’s truly amazing.”
Steve looked so earnest. Your cousin had done quite a number on him.
“You don’t have to be scared. You are ‘The One’ for him.”
This time you managed a smile and an arched eyebrow. You had a feeling that he wasn’t just talking about his best friend.
Steve chuckled.
“Gah. Don’t look at me like that. You and Peach and that eyebrow.”
You laughed at that and grinned, more relaxed now.
Steve looked off into the waves himself.
“So fucking cute…”
He looked down and kicked a rock, a small smile on his face. You could tell he had it bad.
“Thanks for the pep talk Steve-o. And I get what you’re saying. I love Bucky Barnes with all my might, making every other relationship I’ve ever had seem… trivial.”
You glanced at Steve, who was nodding at your sentiment.
“I’m just spooked at the possibilities. I mean…this seems…like a lot.”
“I know. Bucky gets intense.”
You rolled your eyes at him.
“Understatement of the year. And you’re a lot like your friend.”
Steve looked at you, one eye closed from the sunlight in his eyes. He didn’t have any sunglasses and the sun highlighted his windswept hair and the planes of his handsome face. You were squinting at him and you could totally see why Peach let him touch her goodies.
Steve was kinda hot.
You sighed.
“Listen. I’ll be alright. Bucky and I just need to chat.”
Steve smirked.
“Chat. Is that what the kids call it now?”
You laughed and swatted him on the arm as you continued walking again.
“Fuck you, Steve. But for real. Thank you for checking on me. I appreciate it. And I love you for it. I just wish my cousin could see this side of you.”
Steve scoffed.
“Fucked that up good, didn’t I?”
“Not gonna lie, she’s kinda blinded by rage right now. But don’t give up on her. She’ll come around.”
Steve looked at you skeptically and you shrugged.
“80– 75% chance she’ll come around.”
You both laughed.
“Just remember what I said yesterday. She’s a tough nut, but she has a huge heart behind that wall. She is determined about the success of that dance school and she is competitive as fuck. You know what to do.”
Steve grinned.
“Yes ma’am, I do.”
—-
You and Steve re-entered the kitchen laughing, you holding on to his arm.
Peach was at the table drinking coffee and dedicated to ignoring Steve.
“Thanks again for the pep talk Steve. I appreciate it.”
You gave him a long hug and when you separated, you saw Peach’s eyebrow cocked in what you could only imagine was the way Steve described. You stifled a giggle and leaned up on your tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
“You better stop before Bucky comes back and chops me in the throat.”
Peach humphed, and you knew exactly what she was thinking.
You laughed at Steve as he headed toward the stairs, ignoring Peach right back.
“I’m gonna go get my running shoes. A turn down the beach will help me get some of this tension out.”
You watched Peach as she watched Steve roll his neck and stretch on his way out of the room, her coffee stalled in mid air. Her head was on a swivel as he walked out of the room, checking out his formidable ass. She sighed and then remembered that you were there.
You looked at her and she looked at you.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“I didn’t say a word, cousin. Yet. But we will talk later. Any coffee left?”
—-
The week ended up smoother than when Bucky and Steve arrived, and before you and he and Steve left on the jet back to New York, Bucky surprised everyone with an invitation to Vermont for Christmas.
Your heart did a funny little thing because why would he invite your entire family on an all expense holiday vacation from Christmas Eve to New Years unless he was going to…
You couldn’t dwell on what ifs, and you didn’t want to spook yourself. You just decided to appreciate the moment.
It was funny watching your cousin’s face and the corresponding look on Steve’s. Maybe this trip wouldn’t be stressful at all.
Perhaps there would be entertainment.
—---
Later, back in Brooklyn, there was a whirlwind of activity as the Rebirth Foundation geared up for the annual summit and gala.
During the second week in December, Rebirth Endowment recipients (which included your cousin this year!) flew in, were oriented and toured around New York City. The two culminating events were the summit, held at NYU, where there was an art lecture series, a panel, and the gala.
Steve usually participated in the summit by himself, with Sam or Natasha sometimes joining him on stage along with the city’s movers and shakers in the art scene.
But this year Bucky was participating.
He said he wanted to be more prominent in the Art community moving forward as a path toward legitimacy, and you knew that tangentially, that had something to do with you.
When you got back from Thanksgiving, there was a week to prepare for the activities. Your Arts and Culture Alliance in Brownsville, as a part of Rebirth through the Howard Benson exhibit, was a stop on the tour, and you had a ton of work to do.
Bucky and his three partners obviously had their own long list of to dos, but he also needed to be there for Steve, who was a wreck at the thought of Peach coming into town.
Steve was so far gone.
But James Buchanan Barnes.
You’d never seen Bucky Barnes shook.
Sure, you’d seen him excited, impatient, horny, angry, and a little irritated, but never truly nervous.
And you shouldn’t have thought it, but it was adorable.
Friday night, you met your cousin at the airport and witnessed the beginning of her downfall. The cocktail reception later at the hotel had her, and by proxy your own, head spinning.
You grinned at the way Steve was handling everything.
Bucky was beautiful and you admired him as he toasted the guests, his beautiful tenor a nice contrast from Steve’s baritone as they both gave their salutations. Only you knew how anxious he was to speak in front of people and for everything to go well. You felt privileged.
You realized that James Buchanan Barnes was a good man who just wanted to be better for you and for his community.
And suddenly you were not afraid of a future with him.
—-
During this time, you two shared brief cuddles and quick kisses, furtive touches and brief bouts of handholding when you saw each other at events. The mornings meant salacious pictures and quick phone sex to take the edge off, but you weren’t able to luxuriate in each other as you usually did.
You missed Bucky’s full attention, but the fact that you were working together on something worthwhile was the shit. You loved this man and you wanted to work beside him as an equal, not just be his sex toy.
This was the week that you fell completely in love with Bucky Barnes.
Thursday was the day of the Rebirth Art Summit and Bucky was pacing up and down his home office, reading glasses switching locations from perched on top of his head, to his delectable mouth, to his handsome face as he reviewed his notes.
You looked up from the ones in your hands with which you were quizzing him and smiled at him.
“Jamie, it’s going to be okay.”
He stopped to look at you, a faint smile on his face. He came over and pecked you on the lips and gave you a hug.
“‘M so glad you are here tonight, even though you tried to stay away.”
You sighed into his chest and took a deep breath, inhaling his Bucky smell.
“I wasn’t trying to avoid you, I was just giving you space. I know tomorrow is important to you and I don’t want to distract—”
“Frumoasă. You don’t distract from anything. If anything, you add to my life. You add so, so much. I love you. And I miss you. I want you here with me tonight.”
You melted into him, chuckled and shook your head as he held you. This feeling was crazy.
“What?”
You heard his voice in his chest, but he didn’t move, except to sway just a little, as if soothing you. It worked.
“I love you too, Bucky. And I miss you too. So much. It’s wild to feel so much in such a short amount of time.”
You and Bucky had only been together about three months, but you knew this was it.
“When you know, you know, my love. And we shouldn’t waste any more time.”
You hugged him tighter. What was understood didn’t need to be said.
He kissed the top of your head and then moved back so he could see into your eyes.
“And having you in my space while I get ready for an important event is everything.”
You looked him in the eye, thinking of sucking his dick for being such a dream.
“Bucky…”
Bucky took your hand and raised it to his lips.
“Don’t look at me like that, Frumoasă. I will be forced to fuck you all night long, something that is long overdue.”
He kissed your forehead.
“But there is much work to do.”
You cast your eyes down and whispered, “You’re right.”
Bucky took you in, looking so demure and being so patient with him. It was such a turn on.
“Such a Good Girl for me.”
You wanted to fall to your knees, but you just bit your lip and went to sit back down, crossing your legs as you began quizzing him again.
Soon, you told your pulsing pussy. Soon.
You worked late into the night and soon dozed on the leather couch in his study. The next morning, you woke in Bucky’s bed with a sweet note on your pillow. You smiled and knew that he’d carried you to bed and held you all night long.
—--
“You look like that damn heart eyes emoji, ya know.”
You sucked your teeth at your cousin’s comment, but you didn’t pull your gaze away from Bucky up on the dias the next day at NYU.
You were proud and in awe of your man. Your smirk turned into a grin as he glanced at you and started to speak.
You were down bad. And Bucky was too. After almost two weeks with little to no physicality, your energy was at supernova strength and about to cause a black hole in the universe.
That’s how intense this thing was.
You were wet and hard and soft in all the right places.
Bucky had to pause frequently for the interpreter, and it gave you a chance to make googly eyes at each other. You ignored Peach’s subtle retching noises as you concentrated on Bucky. But you cut your eyes over to her while Steve spoke and found her visibly eye fucking him. You smirked when she noticed you noticing.
“Bucky is pretty much the man.”
She was trying to distract you. You laughed.
“Fucking-A.”
You nodded up at the stage.
“Steve is the shit too.”
You were shocked as hell when she responded.
“He’s amazing. I had no idea everything that he does. Have to say, I’m impressed.”
You elected not to tease her about her response. It seemed as if Steve was working the plan.
You resumed watched as Bucky did his thing. He was glowing, handsome and impressive as hell. No one would believe he was as introverted as he was. But he was flourishing in the spotlight, seemingly born for his. He exuded confidence.
It was such a turn on.
—-
Bucky watched you watching him and talking to your cousin and knew your tells. You were probably wet and ready for him. He briefly thought of what he was going to do to you later before he refocused on the task at hand. Knowing you were there for him was such motivation.
When he made his way back over to you, you were an angel, giving him a huge hug and exclaiming, “You were so fucking good up there, Jamie! I’m so proud of you.”
Bucky felt his heart explode and although someone was pulling him away from you, he mouthed a promise in your direction.
—-
“Later...”
You definitely read those sexy lips and your heart started racing. You looked around for your cousin, expecting to be roasted, but she was nowhere to be found. You shrugged and made your way to the subway, assuming that she was gathering with the other recipients. There was more work to do in Brownsville and you were busy anticipating the night.
You waited all day for Bucky’s text to tell you what time Nico was picking you up, but it never came. The rest of the day flew by and by the time you were walking home, daydreaming of dressing up for the gala tomorrow night and what Bucky might wear, you happened to check your phone and saw messages he’d sent just 10 minutes before:
You looked so good today. Especially this morning. Good enough to eat.
I’ll be at your place in 30. Wear that bra, no top, that skirt, no panties, and those heels.
You blushed and thought of the mirror selfie of the cream lace lingerie set you were wearing underneath your cream colored cowl neck sweater and grey wool pencil skirt that matched your grey wool coat.
Yes, Daddy, you replied and picked up the pace to make it to your brownstone ahead of him, your heart beating a mile a minute.
You thought you were prepared when you opened the door after Bucky knocked, but you weren’t.
In fact, you were shaking with anticipation.
There he was, bundled up from the cold, but those blue eyes sparkling down at you.
Bucky stared at you for a beat, and then walked toward you, taking your face in his hands and backing you up against the entryway wall, kicking the door closed behind him.
“My Frumoasă. So good. So perfect”
And then he leaned down and kissed you.
—-
Bucky had the strangest thought as you opened your door.
I’m home.
Although this was not his place, he realized that you were his home and that he couldn’t wait to make you his wife. His eyes swept down your form, pleased that you had followed instructions. You were such a badass, capable woman and partner and he just had to be inside you soon.
He complimented you and his cock stiffened as your mouth parted in desire. He knew your praise kink very well. Bucky cradled your beautiful face and moved inside to kiss you.
His demanding mouth parted your trembling lips, sending tremors through your body. You clung to the lapels of his coat to tether you to earth as his tongue invaded your mouth. You suckled it, previewing what you wanted to do with his cock later.
He pulled away, his bright blue eyes blazing, and his jaw clenched so tight as he shrugged out of his winter coat. If you didn’t know him so well, you’d think he was angry, but the look was desire.
And only for you. You grew warm from the inside out.
“I can’t wait. Wanna make love to you, but I have to fuck you now.”
Bucky bent his knees and grabbed your thighs, prompting you to wrap your legs around him and hold on to him as he walked you over to your couch.
You attacked his face as you were sat down firmly on the bulge in his pants and Bucky accepted your assault, chuckling as you kissed him from his hairline, to his forehead, down his nose, each cheek, skipping over his lips to his stubbly dimpled chin and finally back to that mouth. When he kissed you again, his hands were everywhere, starting at the nape of your hair, pulling so your neck was exposed as his mouth moved down to mark you up, then trailing down to your fine lace bra cups.
Bucky palmed your full breasts, weighing them in his hands and watching your face as he twisted your nipples. You nipples tightened under his touch and you arched your back, moving and giving him a view of what was underneath your skirt. He admired your ardor, you squirming and moaning on his lap.
It was his dream come true.
“So fucking hot, Frumoasa. I’ve been craving you. All day. All week. Ever since Thanksgiving. Since I first laid eyes on you.”
“Bucky…need you.”
You grasped the lapels of his jacket as his hand traveled down your torso and as he leaned down to travel under the hem of your skirt. Your soft fingers peeled his jacket away and unbuttoned his shirt. You opened it and ran your hands down his chest, rubbing his nipples with your thumb and trailed your hand down to his happy trail and proceeded to try and undo his belt buckle.
Bucky grew hot at the warmth of your thick thighs and the way your cunt was so hot that he could feel it through his pants.
He had to have it.
Panting now and desperate, Bucky tugged your skirt up, flashing your bare pussy, but it was difficult to get rid of because it was still buttoned. It slipped out of his hands and he grunted in frustration.
“Ah, poor baby…”
You leaned forward, brushing the locks of hair that had fallen into his flushed face, grazing your nipples across your chest with a sexy smile. Bucky whimpered and you smirked at his desperation. You slowly reached behind you to your zipper, pushing your chest toward Bucky’s face. He licked his lips and pulled your bra cups down, causing your warm breasts to spill out and his hands to be drawn to them again like magnets as he watched you loosen your skirt.
When you grabbed the hem to bring it over your head, he released you, watching as the fabric moved above your crotch.
Your pussy. Fuck.
Bucky could never get enough of staring at it, the dark petals, which were spread open for him as you sat on his lap were calling his name. He licked his lips, suddenly parched.
“What are you thinking about, Bucky?”
You had a pretty good idea, but you wanted, no needed, to hear Bucky’s voice right now. You reached behind you again as you unclasped your bra and suddenly you were naked on an essentially fully dressed Bucky Barnes.
It was sexy as hell.
“I’m thinking that your pussy is a work of art, Frumoasă. It’s perfect. I’m thinking that I want to spend at least eight hours a day between your legs, make you cum over and over again, make you beg me to stop, and to start again. How I want you to taste you and make you squirt so I can swallow you down…”
You moaned and started grinding on his bulge, causing Bucky to curse.
“Damn, Baby. You’re gonna make me jizz in my pants like a teenager.”
Bucky grabbed your ass and reached between you to tease your clit, feeling how wet you were.
“Fuuuuuck, you’re so wet.”
Bucky’s eyes rolled as he grabbed your waist and lifted you to your knees on either side of him as he unzipped his pants and pulled them and his underwear just down past his ass to get his cock out. He grabbed your cheek as he stroked himself and rubbed his thick cock head in your juicy pussy.
“Fuck me Frumoasa. Slide down this dick for me.”
You brushed Bucky’s hair off his forehead again as you nodded and started to slide down his fat, hard cock. Your head lolled back on your neck as you reached the root of him.
“Oh… Bucky… Fuck….”
You could feel Bucky pounding inside you, long thick cock battering your cervix and you whined, leaning back and working your hips as Bucky fucked up into you and thumbed your clit while the other hand guided you up and down his dick.
His jaw was clenched and his eyes were shining as he looked up at you. You knew he was close and you couldn’t take it.
He started to speak and you knew it was over.
“Frumoasă. I-I’m gonna need you to… oh holy fuckkkkkk!”
His stutter made you start to cum.
As soon as your pussy started spasming around him, Bucky started shooting his spend all over your warm walls causing you to convulse and hug his head to your chest. He clutched you to him, whimpering as he held onto you for dear life as he came.
He collapsed backwards, taking you with him as you became boneless in his arms. You rolled off of him and curled up on the couch as Bucky stood and untangled himself from his clothes.
You closed your eyes for a minute as he got up and went to the bathroom, returning with a warm cloth to clean you up. When he finished, he kissed your forehead and gathered you up in his arms.
“You turn me on like no one else, Frumoasă. You’re it for me. I love you.”
You cuddled into him as he lay you in your bed.
“Me too, Bucky. You’re my one. I love you, too.”
Bucky kissed your forehead again, and then proceeded to move down your body.
“Good, now. I need to clock into my main occupation. Hour one of eight.…”
—-
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random numbers from the ask game: 4,5,19,22,38,55
4. what are you looking forward to?
I'm looking forward to hopefully being in some singing lessons soon! I sent an application and I'm waiting for them to get back to me :D
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
Ngl it's totally my cat. Her name is Catt Murdock, and I love her so much. I love my friends, family, blah blah blah, but she can never fail to make me smile haha
19. have you ever been to New York?
Yes! I saw Wicked on Broadway there when my school had a field trip for the music students! I loved it, had a ton of fun :D
22. description of crush.
They're my friends and random tik tokkers lol. I get multiple crushes at a time, but with my friends I have crushes on, 1. some have partners already (and don't want more lol), 2. We have some fundamental differences that I think would make up incompatible ultimately. Biggest one is that they can be self destructive, and closed off when they're upset. That and they're into spirituality, witchcraft, crystals and stuff. I'm perfectly fine with that, up until it starts warring with logic and that just makes me upset haha.
38. favourite comedian(s)
Either James Acaster or Taylor Tomlinson, I genuinely love them so much haha. Both have hilarious bits about queer and trans people (and actually funny, not just being shitty to queer folks), and I love them.
55. tumblr friends
Oh I have a few! We haven't been in touch much since I abandoned tumblr for a bit but some of em are still here! @sarah-sandwich @bitchqueen1114 @romanarose @howaboutcastiel @my-secret-shame @enigmatist17 @copingchaos @drifting-pieces-blog-blog @official-impravidus @spagbol99 @peter-is-a-bean @doctordumblesstark @alicecasch @jelly-pies @sunnylemonss @littlemissagrafina @ferretshark
Tbh I just went through my following and tagged the people who 1. I'm mutuals with, 2. is still active lol 3. I remember their username, and remember looking forward to their posts, which means their user hasn't changed in like 2 years at least haha. There's probably more people ngl, but if they changed their user and/or profile picture I'm not sure who they are. Anyways I totally recommend these blogs, thanks for staying my mutuals even after my absence!
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had another dream about you guys
#it was an alternative universe like heavily influenced by cyberpunk but a very early version where things were just rolling out#and the net didn't collapse just yet#I was still me no surprise and I still ran writing blogs same old same old#it was a relatively normal dream except for the fact it was me from the current universe and awareness peering into it#I was looking at posts on my blog I never remember making#Followers who I don't ever recall seeing. Stories I never wrote of games I never heard about bu clearly in my writing style all the same#There were videos and pictures on me phone of myself that i never took#I didn't realise it's a dream but I did get confused at the new reality i was thrown in#It was literally me i woke up in the body of. Same age. Same family#Different house tho... and the sky outside was really different#I didn't have any cyberware tho#There were posts on my blog of me discussing getting one and you guys encouraged me. One of you was even a ripperdoc who sent me recs#but also that “ripperdoc” was on anon so#it was mostly boring and uneventful. Just a window into another universe#equally as dystopian as ours but hey i still held my love for writing in that one and had readers!#But judging from the other me's posts... they were still depressed and suicidal. Alarmingly so and so open about it online#While I recovered from these things gradually through the years and help of therapy & family support#but they also talked... weirdly in past text conversations i scrolled through?#By weirdly i mean normally they talked very normally and typically of an average person my age#while i talk like a weirdo (affectionately) virtue of nd and other things. like this isn't a bit I really talk how I write sometimes#either way wow those alternative universe readers sucked#so glad I'm in this one instead#i need to play less cyberpunk...#☆other#☆dreams
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Marvel's Squirrel Girl: The Unbeatable Radio Show! | All of Erik Lehnsherr's Call-In's
Episodes featured: The Fate of My Universe The Sinister Six Are No More Who Would Win In A Fight? Unbeatable
Full Podcast Playlist (Spotify)
Credits below:
Written by: Ryan North
Directed by: Giovanna Sardelli
Voice Cast: Milana Vayntrub - Squirrel Girl/Doreen Green Crystal Lucas Perry - Nancy Whitehead Leo Sheng - Koi Boi/Ken Shiga Davied Morales - Chipmunk Hunk/Tomas Lara-Perez Erica Schroeder - Tippy T. Squirrel Rob Nagle - Erik Lehnsherr
Key Art: "Squirrel Girl Infinity Comic (2022)" by Derek Charm - Doreen, Nancy, Ken, Tomas, Tippy "Magneto (2023)" by Todd Nauck - Erik
#marvel#x-men#squirrel girl#magneto#cherik#i'm not tagging everyone im too drunkf rothat#i dont have a tag for vids DAMIt> this gon be my only oen#snap chats#HERE IT ISS !!!!! FINALLY !!! LIKE FOUR MONTHS IN THE MAKING <- was just too lazy to do it#i thought id focus on work all day but OOPSIEE !!!!!!!!! i was too inspired#legally had to use nauck's art that's another goat of mine ... i love his style sm its so cute and expressive and bold...#theres small things in this that bother me but whatever ive literally done this all day#im posting it and moving on#im forcing you to reblog this. DO IT#i kept giggling while makign this cause mags is so funny ....#im still crying at him being like 'yeah i said i was never going back AND I MEANT IT'#also doreen a cherik shipper ...... queen behavior i always knew it#PLEASE ENJOY !!! IM BEGGING YOU !!!! im pinning this to my blog idc this took forever#also his call ins are genuinely so funny i love him so much. my silly peepaw.....#take a shot every time he says 'charles' tho i swear to god#i was actually going to do that tongiht but Legit the amount of whiskey i had was not enough HE SAYS CHARLES SO MUCH#im ending the tags here so i dont go on a rant about how in love mags is with charles. enoug..#NOT EVEN A PODCAST SERRIES IS SAFE FROM CHERIK IM CRYINGGGGGG#they will makethemselves a probelm to EVERYONE#'please dont be evil' he'll be worse. he'll be needy jLVKAJ ERIK IS SO NEEDY IM CRYING#ok i think thats all i have to sya . im a lil tipsy so i cant think right#WAIR I REMEMBER I WANTED TO CRY ABOUT ERIKS STPID 'SWEETOOTH' JOKE I HATE HIM !!!! <- deeply in love with him#'snap you said you were drinking like ten minutes ago are you fr' dont look at me. GOOD NIGHT !!!
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#tropius#HE SO APPY!!! FUCK!!! HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS ONE#i've never looked at tropius up close before i didn't even know they had a little helmet and shit. this is WONDERFUL. they're SO appy#i hope you all appreciate this as much as i do because this is very good. i don't even know anything about tropius. jack SHIT. except that#they're so appy. and i will accept this. i gotta work but i've been too busy thinking abt how appy they are#i also started the process of remaking my main blog. bc it just had a lot of posts on it all the way back to way back in my past#and i felt like it was weighing the whole blog down and making me not want to use it. and that blog needed some housekeeping for me to want#to associate myself with it. so i'm currently in the process of coming up with a new URL before i start really renovating#so the hunt for miss ffp starts anew or something. unless i've lazily replied to you in a comment once and you remember my url#i've done that to a few of you. demifiendcruithne is one. shoutouts to you demifiendcruithne you're the best#then there was that one who assumed i use windows. despite recognizing that i'm “rather techy.” yuck!#had to respond to that one to clear up any suspicion that i might be a windows user. this is all totally unrelated and also will be#totally irrelevant by the time this post gets up anyway. hopefully. y'know if i haven't come up with a new url by then then#i mean. that's my fault. but this isn't gonna post until july 23rd. 10 days from today. so. hopefully!#see you all then
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Over the Garden Wall is one of those shows where it's like "yeah the main demographic is kids but no you the adult with a job who pays taxes reading this should still check it out"
It's short, wonderful music, simple but good story, gorgeous art.
#blogging#otgw#Trying to recommend cartoons as an adult is so harrowing sometimes like.#I swear I read and watch things meant for my age no look I promise I have basic reading comprehension and literary analysis skills#for things over the 7th grade reading/watching level.#I've never made a callout post in my life PLEASE.#Otgw came out when I was in college and it's setting immediately hooked me because I'm me.#And I remember watching it with a friend and being both so tickled by and gently blown away by it.#The Ghibli inspirations were very strong and obvious but it's not overly reliant on it.#It feels like an American Ghibli movie in many ways (positive) without it's inspirations being a crutch.#The late reconstruction era/early gilded age era style inspo is so good it makes you wanna go on a hay ride!#And hayrides can be pretty middling without cider or cocoa!!!
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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I love sudden remembering I have a tumblr and then disappearing into nowhere mwhahahaha uhhh anyways I am COOKING up some Scum Villain AUs and I am very excited to share them with you all, just you wait
#svsss#mxtx svsss#my post#what is my original post tag for this blog i can never remember and i am too lazy to look it up#anyways this is the only update y'all are getting for now and then i will disappear into oblivion again for who knows how long#(not that long im going to make a very sappy post when It's Not Gay If We're In America gets two more kudos#OH WAIT THAT'S WHAT I WAS ON HERE FOR HOLD ON
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being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue
#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots#because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of#i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry#i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist#and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago#you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you#and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog#if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon#and I've never used that word ever since#i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay'#and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me#if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl#and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are#defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man#idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter#what i do#reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did#<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt#idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots#if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was#uneducated af of me#to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages#i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all#thank you that's it#go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore#also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos#my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night#edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to#that's it... thank you guys and ily#ill brb. not too long just a bit
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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🫶
#I’m getting hit with a massive wave of nostalgia now#I remember staying up ALL NIGHT working on changing my theme#I used to play in the html and add things#I looooved adding falling snow during the winter#I remember when having a music player at the top or somewhere on your blog was super popular#but ended up being incredibly annoying#cause half of the people put it on autoplay so when you entered someone’s blog you would get blown away by music#I remember having a whole different page for an about me#I wonder if I still have that up on mine#broooo I haven’t looked at my blog page on a laptop or anything in fucking AGES#I’m embarrassed to think what it might look like but whatever#most of us are using mobile anyway#or at least in my mind we are hahaha#so when I first started a blog I think I was in middle school??? like 12 or 13 hahahaha good times#my first url was SO CRINGE and I’m not going to say it cause I’m 😬😬😬😬😬 when I think about it#and then I slowly got more of a following and started doing smoke videos#I miss that community too :(#making smoke videos and tagging a bunch of stoner mutuals to ‘pass the bong/joint’#and then they would make a video and tag me#awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhh#I haven’t logged into that tumblr in AGES omg#but then I decided to post content and I didn’t want to post it on my original blog in case it got flagged or anything#so I made this blog#and here we are 🥰#but man I have SO many memories from my last blog#i made a friend in Belgium and we sent presents back and forth#I think only once but maybe twice#I still have the bracelet she sent me#can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr for most of my life lmao#but I’ve met SO many amazing people that I would have never have met
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btw of the Discworld books I've been reading over the last couple weeks, by far my favorite is Men at Arms and the reason is 50% there's really excellent writing, and 50% HOLY SHIT ANGUA AND CARROT ARE SO GOOD TOGETHER
#I haven't used this term much recently but I have no choice...#Angua and Carrot are OTP#I remember really rooting for them when I read Discworld books back in high school#and my opinion if anything is stronger now that I am wiser and more worldly and also less oblivious#also uhhhhh looking back I know why I latched onto Angua back then#she is a kickass blonde werewolf with a troubled backstory and hot DAMN does that make feel lesbian feelings#why is it I never see posts about Angua and/or Carrot on my dash#sure I don't follow any Discworld blogs but every now and then I see Discworld posts#and they're almost always about Moist and I don't think I read the books he's in bc I do not recall him At All#(then again I forgot Vimes was the protag of the Night Watch books so maybe I did read the books featuring Moist)#I also don't see NEARLY enough posts about trans icon Cheery Littlebottom HELLO???#who is one of the few characters I recalled but not as much as Angua and Carrot#bc again Carrot and Angua are my fave. to the point I remembered actual quotes from the books ft. them#anyways this has been ''speechie reminisces about Discworld'' time to go back to whatever I was doing before#speecher speaks
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People will come online fuming with hate and anger about Anything and expect everybody to instantly understand and validate them instead of being concerned about.... the genuine hate and anger. You know that behavior wouldn't fly in front of IRL strangers
#my posts#i think its ok to make posts on your personal blog about how angry you are about an issue and how you hate the people#who contribute to that issue. but when you start taking your 'righteous fury' onto other peoples posts and into public disagreements#you gotta remember people dont Know You. people dont know your life story and why you are so upset#and people arent going to want to Learn from you if you come up to them being rude and angry#because why would anyone trust you to inform them about a societal issue if you treat Anybody who asks questions or disagrees#like they are right wing terrorists. sometimes people are going to disagree with you and it doesnt mean they are not on your side#but if you never make an honest appeal to people to try and make them see things the way You see them.. nobody will ever change their minds#& agree with you.#and i know some people dont want to hear this and if they did they would say 'i dont exist to educate people im allowed to feel my feelings'#which is so true. but then dont bring your feelings onto political posts with no intent to have a conversation or share your perspective#because then you look like youre throwing a tantrum to all the people involved who decided to be open minded and share their perspectives#and have a hard but important conversation. like your name calling and accusations and calls for people to die are really not appropriate#for a serious discussion about human rights and discrimination of any kind.#i know i must be sooo annoying with this 'dont spread hate 🥺 spread knowledge' ass post but literally the older i get the more i believe#anger is not constructive. you will touch far more people and change their minds thru empathy and dedication to telling the truth
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shaking you're lucky anti entropy visual novel is fucking broken again i think permanently i would not shut the fuck up about that visual novel
#SHAKING IM PRETTY SURE..... THATS THE SAME PLACE IN THE VISUAL NOVEL#snow plays hi3#sorry im doing this on main. i wouldve put it on the ss blog instead bc thats where i throw all my hi3 related thoughts T _ T#but just bc i rb'd that post here im like WHHHH HIIIIII ????????? COOL!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!#anti entropy takes place between london and some places in the US !#but i never listed down all the places they go to in each T _ T#AND I CANT ACCESS THEM BECAUSE THE VISUAL NOVELS DOOOOOOOOWN (STARTS PUNCHING)#you served me well... youll always be remembered 🤧🤧#so i didnt know the name of the cemetry#until i saw that post and i was like wAH. WAIT A SECOND THAT LOOKS LIKE - ?!#one of these days *shakes my fist*#its a shame that the vn went down#T _ T i was going to use it as voice acting practice but nooooo#i still am on a journey to find sOMETHING to practice with it sucks ass but ngl#it would be fun to restart honkai to try doing some eng dub interps.#BUT I DONT WANNA RESTART.. IM MAKING SM PROGRESS..#ok once i finish ch 10 i think. maybe ch 12#ahaha truth be told once i get to ch 12 youre losing me to the void forever lmao#anyways! hi. sorry not meant to be on main but ✌🏼#im so pooped still from yesterday so im like o 7 o i want to do NO work#i dont WANT to study about white blood cells T _ T#im not meant to be here!!!! this aint my department!!!!! get me OUT#anyways i couldve put this in the tags#i didnt on that post bc i was like T _ T oh op would see this#so ill be a little nerd in private (on a public blog)
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good news everyone it does get better at least a little and after thinking about it i'm not quite as miserable or in despair as i thought i was.
#i'm about to overshare in the tags ok👍#our post comrade.#--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------#just discovered that it doesn't make me mad or miserable anymore to look at my ex's old texts#it's melancholy if i let myself think about how we'll never talk again but they're actually funny now👍#i feel much better all of a sudden#i don't hate them as much as i thought i did. and more importantly i don't hate myself as much as i thought i did 👍#i guess we were really just two goofy and struggling teenagers#and i guess we were best friends for a reason#did you guys know we were tumblr mutuals. i never told you that#that was way before this blog. they were the reason i migrated to instagram#👍‼️ if you're wondering why i went back to look it's because i wanted to find the logs of me infodumping about rea/icide for my amusement#they said dar was pretty. that's so funny#and i agreed much too enthusiastically. completely unsubtle#and i talked about how i was changing my name to parme and how happy it made me#i didn't remember that part. i wasn't even officially nonbinary at that point#:).#i can't write about this in my diary sorry it would out me. so it goes here
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