#I was already sad about something prior to this but it just caught me at my most sensitve

[alatussy]

Im trying to love myself I really am, I realize this whole time ive been putting up a front? When in actuality I hate myself deeper than I know. Im not very confident, I have low self esteem and im insecure. I dont like feeling like this. I want to believe I am worthy of love. I want to be able to tell myself I'm beautiful. But when I do try to say these things to myself why does it feel like a complete lie? I don't want to have to hear this from someone else. As much as I would revel in the feeling? I don't want to. I want to believe it myself. I want to believe that I deserve the love I seek I want to think I'm beautiful like everyone says but believing it is much harder than saying it. I can say it, sure. But I never believe myself. Its tiring

[powerfultenderness]

neighbour!könig’s reaction when he sees a guy walk out of your apartment . need your thoughts on that

omg, the man is gutted! Absolutely heartbroken! Especially after you asked to sit on his couch like that! 😆 He gets jealous but if you aren't technically together, then he realizes that he doesn't have a right to be so jealous and is a little overwhelmed with sadness!

So, last night König deviated from my outline! How very rude of him. But despite a power outage this morning, he was all over this and provided some fluff of the hurt comfort variety!

Even before he joined the military, he was an early riser. The sun was just starting to rise when he stepped out of this flat and heard the door to your flat open. He turned, smile already lighting his eyes, when instead of seeing you, there was a man. He had a slender but muscular build; the sleeveless workout top he wore gave plenty of proof of the man’s definition. The man, taller than you, shorter than him, looked at him a little warily, good. The man gave him a subtle nod as if to greet him then went down the stairs ahead of him. 

A sense of smugness, along with the sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought of you with another man, washed over him as he noticed how quickly that man moved, how quickly he tried to run. König’s long stride made it easy to keep up, though, and he was only a step behind as the guy exited the building. He watched as the man practically sprinted to… guest parking. That was it then, you had had an overnight guest, a man. And König found himself jealous. 

-

He tried to ignore the bitter, pitiful, sensation that plagued him all day, but was not very successful. What was he supposed to think of when thoughts of you led to the sad reminder that you had chosen someone else? He certainly shouldn’t be thinking about using the man’s license plate number to find out more about him, where he worked, for instance. 

Now on his way home for the evening, climbing up the stairs to his flat, beer and food in his hands, he was met with another painful sight. The man was back, leaving again apparently, and you leaned forward, pressed your lips to the left side of his face, then again to the right side. 

“Alright, be careful!” You bid the man good night, “text me when you get home.” 

König wanted to sigh, he pouted underneath his hood. The way you had the capacity to care for others so much was one of the things he liked about you, but right about now, he wished you only cared for him.

“Oh! Hi, König!” You caught him before he could enter his flat.

He looked at you and tried to smile, but even he could tell it didn’t quite meet his eyes. "Hello."

“I have something for you!”

“Me?” You nodded, “hold on a sec, let me grab it!”

He unlocked and left his door open while you disappeared for a second, just so he could put his groceries down. You came back, knocking on the open door, with a plastic food container and a smile adorning your face.

“Come,” he invited you in, his prior sorrow temporarily forgotten at your friendly disposition. Friends, yes, maybe friends was ok.

“Liliana wanted you to have some cake! She said after all that candy you bought, you must have a sweet tooth!” 

He took the offered confection and set it down on the table, next to his beer. “It’s her birthday?” 

“No. She had this big performance today. The whole family gathered at my sister’s place to congratulate her. The place was pretty crowded, with my parents there too, so my brother stayed with me last night.” 

König blinked. “Your…brother?” Now that he thought about it, the man did bear a slight resemblance to you…

“Mmhm.” You nodded then tilted your head, “what’s up with you? Everything ok?” The man was your brother! 

König let out a loud and boisterous laugh. “Everything is perfect! Please thank the little mouse for me!” 

“Mouse?” You scoffed, “wait till you get to know her.” You’re pretty sure she loudly told you to take a slice of cake to your “nice neighbor man” to embarrass you in front of the family, little shit. 

He laughed again, “I would like to!” Because that would mean you incorporating him into your life even more! “Will you eat with me?” He asked once his chuckling faded.

“Well, I’ve had my fill of cake, but I’d love to hang out.” 

Oh, he’d love that too!

[More neighbor König]

[endearng]

Solace

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader Summary: A particular case with the BAU makes you relive old, painful memories. Spencer holds your hand as you share them with him. W.C: 1.8k Warnings: This is sort of platonic fluff with a dash of hurt/comfort; maybe they're in love but don't truly know it yet; mentions of loneliness during childhood, canon cm type of violence (domestíc violence and mísogyny). A/N: Took me very long and I don't know if I like it enough, but I hope you guys do. Feedbacks are highly welcomed and appreciated. Enjoy! Masterlist

"Hey," Spencer approached you carefully, smiling softly. It didn't quite reach his eyes, though. You knew the reason why.

You were best friends with Spencer Reid. It was easy, being around him. You felt connected as you got to know each other because you could relate to him so much and so did he to you, so you always relied on him during tough times. This time would almost feel different, because you felt scared of exposing yourself to him. Not because of his reaction, of course, he wasn't one to judge you even if his life depended on it, but because it made you feel vulnerable for him to see the pieces of you that you didn't appreciate all that much. The insecure, bad, ugly and mistrusting sides of you.

"Hey yourself."

You had just finished a case that involved children and domestic abuse. A group of men founded some sort of cult that preached hatred towards women — a motivation that had to do with fractured childhood and trauma related to their parents' broken marriages, of course. What a bond. Situations with kids were always more sensitive than anything else, and this one in particular brought back some bittersweet memories. You had had several nightmares during the investigation, but Spencer had been the one to wake you up from one of them because you were sharing a room. You were glad he did.

You were standing in a familiar street, but the darkness of the twilight made you feel uneasy. As you walked, a trail of both sadness and worry lingered behind you — feeling on edge, as if something was about to happen. Little did you know, fate had already made up its mind. And you couldn't change it.

It was hard to breathe. Your lungs felt like they were full of smoke, so much was the sensation of your chest being squeezed and with no room for air. You sat down on a sidewalk, dizzy, afraid to fall if you stayed on your feet. As you did, you noticed a big house across the road, pristine white walls and soft yellowish lights cleared one of the rooms in the first store, where you saw a couple holding and smiling at each other. Despite the feeling inside you, you smiled, too. Like their love made the air around them change, such intense feelings made others feel loved, welcomed and safe. In the greenest grass you've ever seen, even if the absence of light stopped you from seeing everything clearly, was a blonde girl playing all by herself. As you tried to calm your breathing, you noticed another girl joining her to play in a pink and purple princess castle outside the house. For a moment, you felt calm just watching the two girls sharing the most ordinary moment of any girl's childhood. An ordinary — or so you thought it should be — childhood surrounded by love, company and, most importantly, trust. Still, a sense of dread tugged at your heartstrings.

Then, everything happened so quickly. The blonde girl's dad, who just seconds ago was with his wife, now had a hard expression on his face. Anger seeped out of him. He approached them and told his daughter that playtime was over, which made her expression, which was so full of life, change abruptly. She entered the house, now looking down at her feet. Not daring to look, let alone say anything to her father, even though she was smiling so hard with her friend moments prior. The other girl didn't even have the time to bid her friend goodbye. You were too caught up trying to understand the suddenness you just saw to pay attention to the other girl, who was now in front of you, ready to confide something with a frown on her face, "He’s always mad."

And right as he finished her dark sentence, whose intonation and weight of the words chosen sounded like an adult, you heard the shots inside the house. Unable to run. Unable to breathe. Unable to react. Unable to undo fate's ugly decision.

Then, Spencer woke you up. You were tossing and turning on the bed and he noticed it because you were sharing the bedroom. Gently, he said you were having a bad dream and that you kept murmuring a female name. You thanked him for interrupting your nightmare, but didn't really talk about what was plaguing you. He felt like his hands were tied when days passed and you kept going as if nothing had happened — you didn't let him in, which was unusual for the both of you. Nonetheless, he knew you were avoiding falling asleep.

"Is everything okay?" Spencer asked, his tone caring.

"I don't know how I feel." You answered, looking out the jet's window, even if it was pitch dark. "I know I should feel good now that those kids are not under threat anymore, but, how many other creeps are out there? Will it ever end?" You asked, more to yourself, or the world, than to Spencer.

"I wish I could have that answer."

You glanced at him. His furrowed brows and sympathetic eyes met your defeated face. His caring nature around you made something in you snap. Maybe the need for reassurance, for safety. You finally thought you didn't have anything to lose, so you poured out your heart.

"Back when I was a kid, I had this friend. She was new in the city, so I met her when she joined our class in the middle of the school year. She was pretty reserved but I was pretty annoying and I wanted to get to know her." You sighed. Spencer let out a soft chuckle at the thought of you as a kid. Sweet, persistent and lovely. Just as you are now. "We would have lunch together when she was there, because she used to miss school a lot. I remember asking why, but I can't remember the answer."

You weren't looking at him. Guilt and embarrassment were trying to take over your emotions, your watering eyes intensifying feeling sensitive, like a being that was stripped off its skin. Walking around bare, shieldless. Come to think about it, it was always like that around him. No walls were needed to protect you from him.

A deep breath. It was just Spencer. He would listen. He would understand. "I remember that it took a lot longer for her to come back this one time. I asked the teacher what had happened and she only told me that she had left. I didn't know where to and I didn't know until years later. I was heartbroken because I had lost a friend. I know it seems dumb, but I really enjoyed spending time with her. We talked a lot, I learned the name of her friends and family, we played pretend, tag, hide and seek... We'd take our dolls to play with and talked about the cartoons that we both watched. It was nice to finally have a friend."

"Some time later, I found out by eavesdropping a conversation between my grandmother and a friend of hers that my friend's father had killed his wife, her mom, and then himself. He told her to wait outside the house so he and his wife could talk." You sniffled, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "What kind of person does that?" You asked, tone exasperated, voice cracking, barely a whisper. Spencer looked at you longingly, patiently waiting for you to finish. He wouldn't dare to speak unless he was sure you were done. "So, I guess this case really triggered that memory. I remember grieving because I'd thought she was dead. I had nightmares for years, but never told anybody about it. In my dreams, I always watched her dad calling her back inside the house."

"What was her name?"

"Jane."

A beat of silence. He looked down at his lap. "That was the name you kept calling when you were... you know."

"Yeah. I know, Spencer." You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. "I know..."

Spencer looked utterly lost and heartbroken for you, but he was willing to try to be good for you so that you kept trusting yourself to him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that by yourself," was what he said. You smiled, albeit sadly.

"I'm sorry too, but at the same time, thankful that now I have you to share it with."

"You don't have to thank me."

"I want to. It feels like it was such a brief moment, but I guess it still haunts me to this day. I just felt, maybe feel, powerless over it, you know? I know I couldn't have done anything, heh, I was a dumb little kid. But still. Guilt is a bitch." You voice, your eyes that were unable to stay focused on a spot for too long and your fidgeting hands revealed your anxiety.

He put his hands on top of yours. You froze, finally looking at him again. "Pablo Neruda said that love is so short, but forgetting is so long. I guess that applies to you. You were just a kid trying to make a friend, and in a way, your company made her feel safe." You brows furrowed, tears rolling down your cheeks. His hands on yours stopped you from wiping them. You didn't want him to let you. "You were a curious and annoying elementary schooler who made sure your friend had company, even though it wasn't your main concern at that time, or you didn't notice it was. Maybe it could have been. Maybe she skipped school because of the problems at home, we know now that, sadly, it does happen. And, when she did go to school, she had your company to play and forget about all of that — she had a friend. You were her solace."

Just like you are mine, his mind screamed.

You were full on crying, silently. Your grateful glance never strayed away from his; you took it that he knew everything you wanted to say but couldn't.

Thank you for saying this.

Thank you for offering me a new, better perspective.

Thank you for being my friend.

I love you.

I wouldn't know which path to take if I didn't have you.

Actually, I do. I'd take the one with you in it.

Instead, "I wish we knew each other when we were kids. Either way, I know we were destined to be in each other's life."

He laughed softly, saying your name, “That’s a nice thought.”

The love you shared changed the atmosphere around you, too. But you didn’t feel overwhelmed with a feeling something would go wrong. If anyone asked if there was something right in your life, you’d say, in a heartbeat, that it is Spencer Reid.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

The last few things I wrote were quite sad, and so I had a HC that little Éowyn was a real menace to the women who wanted to date Théodred and I had a few hours at a boring work conference so…here’s a thing, presumably less sad! Less than 1,500 words!

Théodred is 26ish and Éowyn is 9ish.

“What do we say, Éowyn?”

Théoden put a hand behind her shoulder and lightly propelled her toward Théodred, who sat quietly a few feet away. Her lips were pressed into a thin, straight line and her eyes still burned with a fiery gleam, but, lacking any other choice, she complied with her uncle’s direction.

“I am sorry, cousin, for calling your visitor a Donkey Face,” she muttered, the words hard and cold as she glared down at the stonework on the floor.

“And?” Théoden gave her another small prod.

She sighed heavily, as though he had burdened her with the weight of the world itself. “And for putting a spider in her hair. And for laughing while she screamed and danced around to get it out.” She shot a look up at Théoden, her eyes accusing. “Even though the spider was perfectly harmless, and you didn’t need to squish it.”

“No commentary, please. Just continue with what we talked about.”

She drew another breath to spit out the rest of the scripted apology, feeling the distastefulness of the words in her mouth already. But when she turned back to Théodred, looking him in the face this time, she stopped short. His eyes were soft and a small smile played across his lips, a look of fond affection that somehow felt more damning than any of her uncle’s stern reprimands. It was easy for her to meet anger with anger, but to sustain a sharp temper in opposition to Théodred’s quiet warmth was nearly impossible, feeling somewhere between absurd and callous. Her voice faltered, its prior edge dulled by the first stirring of true regret.

“Uncle says that I made myself look bad, but also him and also you.” She swallowed hard, her words sticking in her throat from contrition now rather than petulance, and she took another small step toward him. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I hope that you aren't angry with me, and I promise not to do it again. A real promise this time. Do you forgive me?”

Théodred’s small smile widened, blooming into a grin, and he waved a hand, a little brushing gesture to push the whole matter behind them. “Of course. Consider it forgotten.”

“Not forgotten,” warned Théoden. “Forgiven, yes. But let us remember in the future that we are not to treat guests this way, especially very important guests who are here at my personal invitation.” He nodded to Théodred and then turned for the door. “Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have some ruffled feelings to smooth in the other room. I’m not sure Éowyn’s first apology went over as well as this one did.”

Théoden walked out and Éowyn was about to follow when Théodred’s hand caught her elbow.

“May I ask you something, little cousin?” He released her arm and pointed to the chair next to him.

She had hoped to escape the room, to run off to a branch of her favorite tree from which she could watch the king’s guards go through their daily combat drills and pretend the whole morning had never happened. But instead, she perched hesitantly on the edge of the proffered chair and waited for him to speak.

He sat for a long moment in silence, fingers tented in front of his chest, and studied her face. “I’ve always loved your mischievous spirit,” he said at last. “It reminds me of your mother, and it brings a sense of laughter and fun into what used to be a very somber place. But your mother never turned her mischief against unsuspecting strangers, and neither did you until recently. One incident is a fluke, two is notable, but four is a pattern. Is there something troubling you lately that would explain this change? Anything that you’d like to talk about?”

“No.” The answer came out quickly and defensively, an attempt to ward off further inquiry, but it seemed only to encourage him to keep talking instead.

“I can’t help but notice that the targets of your mischief have all had one thing in common. They’re all noble ladies, daughters of your uncle’s closest friends and allies, that he’s brought here to visit with me. Have these women done something to you that would perhaps warrant your dislike?”

The straight line reformed at her lips, and she shook her head.

“If you don’t know these women and they’ve never caused you offense or given you reason to view them unfavorably, then why are you so intent on tormenting them?”

A hot blush came to her cheeks, and, embarrassingly, some tears to her eyes. She looked down to hide them, staring intently at a small crack in the floor, and tried to think of what to say. But all her thoughts only brought the threat of more tears and so she shrugged her shoulders instead.

“How about if I tell you what I think, and you can tell me if I am wrong?” He paused just long enough to see her reluctant nod and then continued. “I think perhaps you dislike the fact that your uncle keeps bringing women here in the hopes that I’ll choose one as a bride. I think you know that things will change once I have a wife, and perhaps you worry about what those changes will mean for you. And I think you’ve been trying to run these women off, so that maybe you won’t have to find out.” He leaned forward and put a hand gently on her arm. “Does that sound right?”

She shrugged again, keeping her head down, but she couldn’t hide the big, round tear that dripped from her chin and landed heavily on the back of his hand. And once the first was seen, the will to hold back the others quickly crumbled. Whatever response she might have made was lost in an instant, and she began to sob.

“Oh, Éowyn, come here.” He gestured her toward him, and she stumbled forward into his open arms, her little frame swallowed up in the big, tight embrace he wrapped around her. “Getting married is something most of us will do some day. And if we’re lucky, we get many happy years together with a beloved husband or wife. Your uncle was cheated out of that chance, and he wants to see me enjoy what he was denied. But when I find a wife to love, that doesn’t mean that I’ll then love you any less. That’s not how love works. A heart always has room for more. And I’ll guard your share like it’s one of my most cherished treasures, because it is. I promise, cousin.”

He let her cry for another few minutes, releasing the fear and sadness that had been trapped deep within her for the last several weeks, until eventually the tears began to slow and her breathing to calm. A little sniffling noise emerged from somewhere inside the embrace, and he felt her dry a wet cheek on his shirt before pulling back to look up at him, all wide eyes and creased brow. “Your favorite cousin?” The tiniest shadow of a smirk appeared on her lips.

He laughed, and then she did, too. “I won’t be snared in your trap that easily just to see Éomer angry with me later. But you’re my one and only Éowyn, and that is a special thing indeed.”

She smiled, wiped her face again on a sleeve, and returned to her chair, dropping back into it more comfortably this time. “If you do have to pick a wife, I hope she’ll be much better than the ones Uncle has brought so far. All they do is sit there and smile and agree with everything you say. And they all laugh too hard at Uncle’s jokes. There hasn’t been a good one in the lot.”

He laughed again. “Would you like to know a secret?” He leaned forward and switched to an exaggerated whisper. “I don’t much like them either.”

“You don’t?” Her eyes widened but she worked hard to keep a note of gleeful triumph from her voice.

“That doesn’t mean that I condone calling them names or covering them with bugs, of course, but no, they’re not right for me. It’s not their fault, and I know that your uncle means well in bringing them here. But I intend to find my own wife, in my own time. And when I do find her someday, I am certain that she’ll meet with your approval. No insects or dirty looks or ‘accidentally’ spilled tea required. After all, you trust my judgment, don’t you?”

She nodded.

“Good.” He smiled and held out a hand. “Now let’s go out to the garden and see if we can find you a new spider friend.”

Dividers by the lovely @quillofspirit!

[astrxq]

a chance for change

ethan landry x fem!reader

words: 6.3k (oops)

notes: not proofread! mentions of blood, kissing? reader gets hurt

You were going to kill Ethan Landry. If glaring at his stupid, curly hair throughout the lessons wasn't enough, you were going to make sure he didn't step a foot near you ever again. Actually, you were sure your head would explode if you heard his voice one more time.

The second the professor dismissed the class, you made your way out as fast as you could, catching a glimpse of Ethan walking up to the teacher with a notebook in his hands.

"Hey, what's up?" Anika asked, noticing the angry expression on your face the moment you walked out the door. "Ethan's sucking up again," you replied, holding out your bag to put the notes inside. "He kept interrupting me in class, even though he knew I knew the answers. He's doing it on purpose, just to annoy me. I swear I'm going to kill him."

Anika chuckled. "Maybe he likes you." She held out a warm paper cup of tea matching her coffee one. "What? No way, he's just a competitive jerk."

"He's a competitive jerk who has a crush on you." You rolled your eyes for the millionth time that day, brushing off Anika's comment. "Oh please, don't start with that nonsense. Ethan Landry and I are like oil and water. We don't mix."

Anika took a sip of her warm coffee cup, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "You know, sometimes opposites attract. It wouldn't be the first time."

You scoffed, shaking your head. "Not in this case. We're polar opposites in every way possible." Anika raised an eyebrow.

You sighed, realizing that Anika had a point. "That doesn't mean we're meant to be together. Besides, he's always trying to one-up me. It's infuriating!"

Anika grinned, her eyes glinting mischievously again. "Maybe he's just trying to get your attention. Some people show interest by challenging the ones they like. It's like a twisted form of flirting."

You shook your head, unconvinced. "Flirting? That's not how it works. He's just trying to prove he's smarter than me." You crossed your arms, contemplating her words.

Deep down, a part of you wondered if there could be any truth to what Anika was suggesting. The thought of Ethan having a crush on you seemed absurd, considering your constant clashes and heated arguments. But you shook those thoughts away as Chad's frame came into vision, dragging Ethan by his forearm.

At the sight of your friend Chad, your brain sparked with the memory of the ski trip suggestion he and Mindy had made just a few weeks prior. "Shit, Anika," you muttered, "have you packed already?" You wanted to facepalm so badly, only realizing now that you were supposed to be leaving soon. "Yeah, you haven't?" You stayed quiet, answering her question. "You forgot... didn't you?"

"Um, yeah," you admitted sheepishly, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you. "I completely forgot about the ski trip. I've been so caught up with this week's exams and everything that I completely lost track of time."

Anika sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. "We leave tomorrow morning! You normally plan everything ahead of time."

Panic started to set in as you realized the magnitude of your forgetfulness. You quickly retrieved your phone from your bag and checked the time. "You're right, I messed up big time. I need to hurry and pack. Can you help me, Anika? Please?" She tilted her head with a smile and nodded, before letting you hold onto her hand and hurrying to your shared apartment.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Chad and Ethan stopping their tracks, Chad's hand flying to Ethan's shoulder in what seemed like reassurance, and Ethan's face morphing into some kind of sadness. There was a momentary flicker of something in his eyes, a hint of vulnerability that you hadn't expected to see. But he quickly shook it away before furrowing his eyebrows and making his way back to where he and Chad had come from.

While you and Anika hurriedly packed, grabbing any warm clothes you could find and going through the list of essentials Mindy had sent in the group chat, you felt excitement bubble in your chest due to the feeling of pressure being lifted off of your shoulders from the tough week of constant exams and important lectures. Just an hour later, you sat on your suitcase, trying to zip it shut while Anika slept on the couch, having fallen asleep with the TV on.

As you struggled to zip your suitcase shut, your mind kept wandering back to Ethan's expression earlier. But you quickly dismissed it as an irrelevant detail. After all, you had more pressing matters at hand—like making it to the ski trip on time.

You let out a sigh of relief, finally having shut the suitcase after multiple attempts. Glancing at the clock, you realized it was already late into the night. You decided to let Anika rest a bit longer, knowing she would appreciate the extra sleep before the alarm woke her up.

As you settled down on your bed, you couldn't help but replay Anika’s words in your mind. Overthinking Ethan's constant interruptions, your heated arguments, and the possibility of him having a crush on you—these thoughts swirled around in your head like a whirlwind.

Despite your initial resistance to the idea, you couldn't deny the strange way you felt around Ethan. It had to be hate, right?

Lost in your thoughts, you gradually drifted off to sleep, only to be awakened by the sound of your alarm blaring the next morning. Groggily, you rubbed your eyes and stretched before going to wake Anika, who stirred on the couch, slowly waking up as well. "Oh, sorry," she said once she noticed she hadn’t gone to her room to sleep.

With a sense of urgency, you both prepared yourselves for the trip. You headed out the door with your luggage in tow, the adrenaline rush of almost being late momentarily pushing the night before’s thoughts of Ethan to the back of your mind. Mindy was tapping her foot in exhaustion with her arms crossed as Chad leaned on one of the cars, eyes almost shutting down because of the early morning. "We said 6 am! It’s almost twenty past!" Mindy exclaimed once you came into view, dragging your baggage. "Sorry! I had to get changed," Anika apologized, rushing to her girlfriend's side to kiss her cheek and hurrying inside the car in front of her. "We have to take two cars," Chad explained, his thumb pointing at the Carpenter sisters half asleep in the back. "I’ll drive you, Ethan, and Tara. Mindy will go with Anika." You almost huffed at the thought of being in the same car as Ethan, already imagining him cracking bad jokes with Chad or trying to engage in competitive banter. Despite your reservations, you climbed into the car and settled into your seat, bracing yourself for the journey ahead.

As the car pulled out of the driveway, you glanced at the back of Ethan’s head, who was sitting on the front seat next to Chad and in front of you. Ethan's head leaned back against the headrest

-

"Psst," Anika elbowed your arm when she sat next to you with a tray full of food from the hotel's lunchroom. "What happened with Ethan?" You shrugged. "Nothing. You know, the usual arguing and everything." Your attempt at a laugh certainly didn't go past your closest friend. "Really? Because you two are avoiding each other like you're the plague. It's been three days."

"We always do."

"No, you don't. Y/N, you love arguing with him." Your eyes almost popped out of your sockets. "What?" Anika raised an eyebrow at your surprised reaction, as if you were acting crazy. "Come on, Y/N. It's pretty obvious. You two have been at each other's throats for as long as I can remember. It's like a twisted form of entertainment for both of you."

You stared at Anika, trying to process her words. It was true that you and Ethan had always been at odds with each other, constantly bickering and arguing over the smallest things. But the idea that you actually enjoyed it, that it was some sort of twisted entertainment, was something you hadn't considered before.

"I... I never thought of it that way," you admitted, feeling a mix of surprise and confusion. "I mean, sure, we argue a lot, but it's not like I enjoy it or anything. Ethan can be really infuriating."

Anika chuckled softly and nudged your arm. "Oh, come on, Y/N. We've all seen the way you two banter back and forth. You both thrive on that tension, even if you won't admit it."

"But what do I do now?" you asked, feeling a mix of apprehension and curiosity. "He obviously doesn't want me around anymore." She gave you an apologetic look. "I really messed it up, didn't I?" You pushed your head into your hands.

You looked up at her, searching for some guidance. "He's finally shut me out, and I can't blame him for that."

Anika nodded understandingly. "Give him some space for now. It's clear that he's hurt and needs time to process everything. But when the time is right, try reaching out to him again, genuinely. Apologize for your part in the constant arguing and let him know that you want to change the dynamic between you two."

You sighed, realizing that it wouldn't be easy. "What if he doesn't believe me? What if he just brushes me off?"

"You're getting in your head. Don't worry about that now." The conversation quickly ended as the rest of the group sat with their food, all dressed in warm clothes. The tension between you and Ethan had become palpable, and it weighed heavily on your mind as you picked at your food. The conversation around the table seemed forced, with everyone aware of the underlying rift.

Anika, sensing your discomfort, leaned in closer to you. "Remember, it's going to take time," she whispered. "But you have to take the first step. Show him that you're serious about changing."

Deep down, you knew that Anika was right. You had to confront your own behavior and make amends if you wanted any chance of salvaging the mess.

Mindy broke the unsettling silence at the table by offering to take advantage of the few people around and go skiing. Once you reached the top of the hill, Anika helped fix your glasses, pulling you aside, and she reminded you gently. "If he needs space, give it to him, but don't let too much time pass." You nodded, determined to make it work.

Your mind was still consumed with thoughts of Ethan. Anika's words echoed in your ears, urging you to take action, but you couldn't shake off the anxiety that accompanied the idea of reaching out to him. Would he even be willing to listen? Would he give you a chance to explain?

You pushed those doubts aside and focused on the present moment. Remembering Chad's insistent instructions, you tightened your goggles, adjusted your gloves, and launched yourself down the slope, the exhilaration of skiing temporarily distracting you from your inner turmoil.

When you finally reached the bottom of the hill, you took a moment to catch your breath and glanced around, hoping to spot Ethan among the skiers. But he was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment crept into your chest, and you tried not to think about him as you followed Tara back to the top of the hill, where Mindy and Anika awaited their turn.

As you prepared for another run down the slope, you couldn't help but steal glances at the empty space beside you where Ethan would usually be. His absence weighed heavily on you, and you realized just how much his presence had become a constant in your life, even if it was marked by arguments and tension.

As you reached the top of the hill, you took a deep breath and tried to clear your mind. Tara called for you, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Y/N, move!" she said. You felt your feet slip away, falling on your back, and a stinging feeling taking over your right leg as you watched the man who had bumped into you slide away, Tara in the distance, struggling to come to a stop.

Pain shot through your leg as you lay on the snowy ground. The fall had caught you off guard, and you winced at the discomfort that radiated from your thigh. Ethan rushed over to your side, concern etched on his face as he stared at the cut on your leg, going through the thick fabric of the pants.

"Are you okay, Y/N? What happened?" he asked, his voice filled with worry. And for a minute, you forgot about your leg, relieved to see that he was finally speaking to you.

You tried to sit up, gritting your teeth against the pain. "I... I'm not sure. Someone crashed into me, and I lost my balance," you replied, glancing around to see if you could spot the person responsible for your fall. But they were nowhere in sight. "It's small," you said when he tried to move the fabric of ripped pants to see the cut.

Ethan frowned, his worry evident as he gently inspected your injured leg. "We should get you back to the cabin. It might need some attention, just in case." He carefully helped you up, allowing you to lean on him for support as you hobbled back toward the cabin.

As you reached the warmth and shelter of the abandoned-looking cabin, Ethan guided you to the nearest couch and looked in the different drawers for a first aid kit. "Ethan," you called, seeing him walk back into the room with what he had been looking for, "I'm sorry," you said, wincing when his fingers accidentally grazed your cut. "Not now, Y/N."

Ethan's voice was firm, but you could sense the underlying tension in his words. He sat down next to you and carefully began cleaning the wound, his touch gentle yet distant. The atmosphere in the cabin felt heavy, the silence between you both almost suffocating. As he applied antiseptic to the cut, you couldn't help but let out a small hiss of pain.

Small taps on the wood caught your attention; Ethan's head turned at the sounds. "Hold this here," he instructed. You placed your fingers over the cotton ball he

 was using to clean up your leg, and he stood, walking to the cabin's door to check outside. "Shit, we're stuck."

"What?" you asked, making an attempt to stand up but sat back down from the pain. "Snowstorm," he explained. You looked at Ethan in disbelief, the gravity of the situation sinking in.

"So, what do we do now?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady despite panicking a bit.

Ethan quickly closed the door behind him, blocking the chilling wind from entering the cabin. He turned to face you. "We'll have to wait it out. It might take a while for the storm to pass, but we should be safe in here."

-

Here is the corrected text with grammar, punctuation, and vocabulary improvements:

Thinking that the small talk about the snowstorm meant that you and Ethan would be able to have an ongoing conversation was your first mistake. Your second was trying to stand up with a swollen ankle and a small gash on your thigh.

As you winced in pain, struggling to stand up, Ethan rushed to your side, his concern evident in his eyes. "Whoa, hold on. You shouldn't be putting weight on that leg," he said, his voice filled with urgency. Gently, he guided you back to the couch, helping you sit down again.

He attempted to clean the wound again, but the fabric kept getting in the way. Your face felt like it was burning when he tried to rip it slightly so he could see the cut properly, but he soon gave up and sat back. "I can't clean it properly like this."

"Maybe there's a towel or something we can use instead of cotton balls?" he took a deep breath, hands fiddling together. "No, I meant... the pants, they're in the way."

You hesitated for a moment, understanding his suggestion. Slowly, you nodded, realizing that removing your pants would indeed provide better access to the wound. It felt awkward to consider undressing in front of Ethan, given your complicated history, but the situation called for practicality over discomfort.

Swallowing your pride, you mustered up the courage to speak. "You're right." You made a move to stand again, and Ethan quickly held onto your arm, standing up as well so you could lean on him. "Uhm, I'll- I'll look away," he said, almost more to himself than to you.

You managed to untie the string on the pants with only one hand, but you grunted once you struggled to push them down your legs, the pain making you lose balance, but Ethan held onto your arm tighter so you wouldn't fall. "Uh..." you started, "a little help?" You tried to laugh, and Ethan nervously reached for the waistband, clearing his throat before turning his head to the side, trying not to make you uncomfortable.

With his help, you managed to awkwardly slide your pants down your legs, revealing the injured area, and you felt yourself starting to shiver. You could feel your face heating up with embarrassment, but you tried to push past it, focusing on the task at hand while Ethan handed you one of the old blankets that lay on the sofa. "Thank you," you muttered, and Ethan took a seat next to you, his gaze fixated on your leg. The silence between you was palpable, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved tension. As he cleaned the wound, you couldn't help but steal glances at him, his features etched with a mix of concern and restraint as he focused on doing his best with cleaning up the cut.

The cabin was fully silent, and all you could hear was the storm outside and your own thoughts. Ethan's hands were shaking, not only because it was freezing but because he had no idea what he was doing with the gash. His whole body seemed to be freezing cold; his cheeks and the tip of his nose were rosy from the cold, and his fingertips were very cold against your skin. Even though you felt yourself shiver, your body felt like it was on fire.

"Ethan," you said softly, searching for the right words. "I appreciate you helping me with this. I know it's not an ideal situation, but I'm glad you're here." He stayed silent. "I understand if you're still upset with me," you continued, your voice sincere. "I've been really hard on you, and I want you to know that I'm genuinely sorry."

Ethan kept his eyes on your thigh, finishing up with the cleaning, and he kept quiet. It seemed like he was thinking of what to say, but he didn't speak. The weight of his silence hung in the air, intensifying the unease in your chest. You had hoped for some kind of response, a sign that he was willing to hear you out and perhaps even forgive you.

But as seconds turned into minutes, the silence only grew heavier, suffocating any hope that had started to blossom within you. Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. The pain in your leg was nothing compared to the pain of his silence, the realization that you might have truly pushed him away this time. You reached for your pants, wanting to cover yourself up and hide from the vulnerability of the moment, but your trembling hands struggled to find their way.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Ethan's voice broke through the stillness. It was barely above a whisper. "It doesn't matter anymore, Y/N. Words won't change anything."

The weight of his words crashed down upon you, and you couldn't help but let out a choked sob. The guilt, the regret, and the anguished desire for reconciliation overwhelmed you, leaving you feeling small and insignificant. Each tear that escaped your eyes felt like a physical manifestation of your mistakes, a painful reminder of the damage you had caused.

Ethan's gaze finally met yours, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and weariness. "I've tried to understand why we've always been like this," he said, his voice laced with a touch of bitterness.

"I've spent countless nights replaying our arguments in my head, trying to make sense of it all. But it all goes back to you absolutely hating my guts." His words pierced through your heart, the truth of his pain echoing within you.

You had been so consumed by your own frustrations and anger that you had failed to realize the toll it was taking on both of you. The realization hit you like a wave, crashing against the walls of your own self-righteousness.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice trembling. Ethan shook his head, then nodded, then stilled as if he wasn't too sure of what to do. "I like you so much," he whispered, "but- I don't even know why we've been so mean to each other."

"I just want it to stop; Chad said this trip was my chance to get close to you." He finally met your eyes. "But in the car? I felt like you truly didn't want me around."

You blinked at him, feeling your chest heave, and you choked out, your voice trembling. "I never wanted things to be like this between us. I've let my own insecurities and frustrations get in the way, and I've hurt you in the process. Please believe me when I say that I want to change. I want to make things right."

Ethan's gaze softened as he listened to your words. The weight of his silence began to lift, replaced by a glimmer of hope. "Actions speak louder than words, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with a mix of caution and vulnerability. "I haven't been good to you either," he admitted, hands shaking from the cold.

You weren't sure what it was that made you move closer to him and hold his hands under the blanket that sat over your shoulders, barely giving you enough warmth. "Is it too late?" you asked, "to start over?"

"Of course not, no." His voice was soft, welcoming, and you felt his cold hands squeeze yours

 tighter, pulling at them a bit so you'd come closer. "I don't want us to keep hurting each other," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. A small smile tugged at the corners of Ethan's lips, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in your chest.

As the storm raged outside, you and Ethan stayed huddled together, seeking comfort and solace in each other's presence. You were curled up against Ethan's chest, holding your ankle in your cold hand while the other held his hand, the cut on your thigh now fully covered by a bandage Ethan had found in the aid kit. He hummed to one of Chad's favorite songs as he played with the ends of your hair and the hem of the blanket that was now covering both of you.

The warmth of his presence and the softness of his humming enveloped you, creating a serene atmosphere that felt like a haven within the storm. Feeling a surge of courage, you lifted your head and met Ethan's gaze. His eyes mirrored your own emotions. "Would it be too soon to kiss you?" he murmured, his voice kind of hoarse from the cold.

A soft smile curved your lips as you leaned in closer, your breath mingling with his in the small space between you. The tension that had plagued you both seemed to dissipate as your lips finally met in a gentle, tender kiss. It was a bittersweet feeling, filled with the weight of past mistakes.

Wrapped in each other's arms, you could feel the warmth seep into your bones, thawing the coldness that had settled within you. The kiss deepened, growing more passionate, as if it carried the unspoken promises of forgiveness, understanding, and a fresh start.

With each lingering kiss, you could sense a newfound trust building between you. The weight of the past began to fade, replaced by a shared determination to rewrite your story together. The world around you faded into oblivion as the kiss deepened, becoming a dance of intertwined souls. Every touch, every movement was an expression of the desire that had blossomed between you.

His hands tangled in your hair, while yours roamed his back, desperate to feel every inch of him, and you found yourself lost in the sensation of his lips, the taste of him on your tongue. It was a perfect blend of passion and tenderness, an unspoken promise of the love and connection yet to come.

Eventually, the need for air became undeniable, and you reluctantly broke the kiss, but not the connection. Your foreheads rested against each other, breaths mingling as you both tried to catch your breath. The intensity of the moment lingered in the air, a tangible reminder of the bond that had formed between you.

Your phones buzzing for the first time in hours caught your attention, untangling yourselves from each other to see hundreds of texts and calls from your friends. Just then, you realized how quickly time went by. It had been about four hours since the snowstorm started, and how the noise outside had gone quiet. You and Ethan were free to leave.

[feralgodmothers]

I think I cracked it you guys. A part of why Elvis (2022) has such a hold on me (and why you should watch it too if you haven’t already).

The first time I watched it, I didn’t really have any expectations - I wasn’t a fan of Elvis, because my mother hated him, and I grew up without any real exposure to him or his music. I also wasn’t a fan of Baz Luhrmann, because I found his directing style to be too over-the-top, chaotic, and truthfully - obnoxious. So neither of those two big names attached to it were a draw-in for me. And on top of that, I didn’t know Tom Hanks was in it, and I didn’t know who Austin Butler was - not to mention there’s been an abundance of music biopics lately. The only thing that captured my attention was how accurately the trailer portrayed the fangirl spirit. I was like ‘Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s like. I can relate to that’, lol. So with that being the only thing that held my interest, I put it on and just shrugged and thought ‘Who knows, this might be fun’.

I was completely blown away.

I had seen a few clips of Elvis prior to this at some point in my life, so I had just enough reference in my memory to go on while I watched Austin do his thing, and he nailed it. It took no time at all for you to feel like you were actually watching Elvis Presley, not just some guy playing him. Austin Butler was flawless - he’s received a tremendous amount of praise for his performance, and quite frankly - I don’t think there could ever be enough praise for what he was able to accomplish here. It is one of the best performances of all time, and that is no exaggeration. It was so exciting - the amount of movie magic (that’s been sorely lacking from films lately) was on full display here, and it gave me new life. I felt a real connection to a completely different era in our history, a connection to a whole other generation of people/fans, and to a music legend that I knew almost nothing about, and who pop culture had twisted into some mythical caricature of himself. This film accomplishes so much, and I was caught up in a whirlwind of something truly eye-opening and magical. The main takeaway I had from my first time viewing was pure excitement and adrenaline, from just being transported somewhere else entirely, both emotionally and spiritually, and from unlearning some misconceptions I had about Elvis Presley. And, as a bonus, I now had a new celebrity crush in Austin Butler (and we all know - stumbling across someone new to thirst over will always be a profound part of the fangirl experience, lol).

The second time I watched it, I was going in still riding that high that I felt - and I was ready to immerse myself into full, thirsty fangirl mode. And obviously I did thirst - but by the end of the film, I was so incredibly emotional. I cried so much, and felt so sad. Of course, I felt sad by the end the first time I watched it too - Elvis died tragically early, and the way the movie highlighted his final performance was so effectively heartbreaking and moving. But I think the more positive feelings I had experienced before had prevented me from sinking too low into my feelings. But by that second viewing, man… the dam just broke, and I was legitimately mourning this man. I’m not kidding when I say this is probably the best biopic I’ve ever seen, and possibly one of the best movies period that I’ve ever seen. I cannot express strongly enough how much it truly resonates with me.

Anyway, my whole point in saying that I cracked it, I say as a fangirl through-and-through - I think the two biggest impacts that can ignite a fangirl’s spirit into a full, dazzling and glorious blaze is: thirst and heartbreak. And this movie provided both of those things in spades. It’s so beautiful to watch - Austin’s beautiful, the storytelling is beautiful, the cinematography is beautiful, the care, dedication, and craft is beautiful. To me, it is absolutely perfect, and it has completely taken over my mind, heart, and soul. I cannot recommend this film highly enough. It is everything to me right now, and the more people who are willing to give it a chance and enjoy it, the better.

[sabrondabrainrot]

Latest EP theory "Moon goes MISSING during his HALLOWEEN PARTY!!!"

🌃🌕🎃🚀

I currently have two theories, mostly on Sun's phone and I'll try to be eloquent but break is only so long and I have limited time!

I've been yelling @ikamigami for long enough on these theories XD but they did help me to refine my rambly ideas.

For starters, for those who haven't seen the ep, to avoid spoiling things for everyone I'm putting the theories under the cut!

Both of my theories are pretty outlandish so take them with a grain of salt, knowing how TSAMS can be, this might just be a straightforward situation where Moon was grabbed and will be used as ransom or bargaining for Sun. However, while I feel that is the course I like to overthink and come to with theories on what else might be going on.

So starting off, my first theory revolves around Sun, Dark Sun, and Sun's phone.

During the party, in my opinion, I think Sun was acting oddly. I propose, it wasn't Sun but instead Dark Sun doing his imposter work. So for starters, Moon leaves to get soda for the party and very shortly after 'Moon' calls 'Sun' to tell him the store is out of soda. Just completely out.

Then Sun, very loudly plays their phone conversation for everyone to hear, which is odd because he went into the other room to take Moon's call but then it got so loud the entire party could hear that Moon was now on his way back, and soda-less. (Kind of odd the store was completely out of sodas?). I will also add Sun abruptly hung up on Moon which seemed very out of character for him.

Furthering this odd behavior, Solar took Dazzle out to trick or treat, which seems innocuous at first but I need to remind everyone up until this episode Sun on record has been too worried and scared to even let Dazzle in the back yard even with Jack's protection. So it's just strange Sun was very.... uncaring? Unbothered? About Dazzle going out, without Jack too. Just with Solar.

Then when Sun met up with Solar later he panicky explained to Solar that Moon said he left the store but he still went there to look for him. The entire time Sun is this immediately scared and stuttering mess. Now, he is worried about Moon but we've seen a much calmer and more mature Sun as of late and I don't think he'd be a stuttering mess.

Now that I've laid the foundation, my idea is, I think Sun has already been grabbed. We've seen recently that Dark Sun, or D!Sun has been more aggressive with his space invasion. He's been coming in and out more and pretending to be Sun blatantly. We had a recent episode where for an indeterminate amount of time D!Sun was pretending to be Sun in their home, around Solar and the kids. Molten was also right there and didn't notice anything. He was full on acting strange and no one questioned it. Dazzle only thought he seemed sad. By the end of the charade, D!Sun just left while asking Solar to call his phone because he couldn't find it.

He gave away the fact their own home isn't safe. Solar knew after calling his Sun that the entire time he was with D!Sun.

Something interesting is the only thing that's so far gotten D!Sun caught when he's pretending to be Sun, is Sun's phone. Forever ago, D!Sun tried visiting Foxy and FC when he was living at his stormy beach house and was immediately caught as not Sun because Foxy was only moments ago texting Sun. While Foxy in particular is observational he would have fallen for the act if not for the prior text messages. Then, later on after the first encounter with Goliath, D!Sun showed up to give advice to, and check up on, Earth and Lunar. The entire exchange would have been innocuous if the real Sun didn't happen to call.

So, keep the timing and Sun's phone in mind.

In today's episode Moon shortly after his strange soda-less run, called Monty and let them know he could not get a hold of Sun, he was apparently trying to call him multiple times. Which, when we find Sun outside not only is the not worried about the missed calls but doesn't even state "I have no missed calls." On top of Monty's call suspiciously cutting off.

Now why would Moon keep trying to call Sun when less than 5 minutes ago he spoke to 'Sun'? I think the first Moon on the phone was actually Nexus pretending to be Moon. He's just not the best at pretending to be Old Moon, so D!Sun hung up before he could give too much away.

The second call I think was Moon, he was trying to get a hold of Sun but due to Sun not being available he called Monty instead. (Reminder, Monty is Moon's go to when he thinks anything might be wrong.) I think Moon calling Monty was not according to plan, him leaving to go to the store was not according to plan. D!Sun maybe sent a signal to Ruin to grab Moon before D!Sun could be caught again. The phone is his immediate give away so D!Sun at this point knows to eliminate that before it can cast suspicion his way.

I think he was at the Halloween party pretending to be Sun as an elaborate distraction scheme. The only people who could stop Sun's kidnapping are Solar and Moon so keeping them unaware something is occurring is the easiest option. However, Moon leaving to grab Soda at the store was very much an unprompted thing. I think this wasn't according to plan. So D!Sun had to improve with Nexus and Ruin.

At the party when D!Sun took the call it was more then likely an exchange of code. How can the store be completely out of Soda? However, if this is Nexus pretending to be Moon, he needed to make up some kind of code. Sun himself may actually be on the run? Nexus might have communicated 'no soda at the soda store' as a means to let D!Sun know Sun isn't secured and to keep stalling. Moments after the actual Moon called and raised suspicion that he couldn't get a hold of Sun, despite 'Sun' being right there at the party. So, I propose, he sent another signal or order to Ruin to grab Moon while on the call to stop Moon from further alerting the others something might be wrong with Sun.

The second part of the plan was probably enacted messily. Plus, a hasty kidnapping plot would buy Nexus enough time to grab and subdue Sun. While that happens, Ruin keeps Moon tucked away somewhere and D!Sun can lead Solar on a literal made up goose chase.

IS this convoluted? Yes. I feel like it's right up a Dark Sun plot though, the guy is a Sun. So, that's my first theory.

My next theory I feel doesn't have as much to it, but it is still solid. I find it a bit more boring? So the way this next theory goes is this, I think what we might be seeing as an audience is the occurrence when two individuals somehow just miss each other at the right moment.

We know Nexus and D!Sun have eyes and ears everywhere, D!Sun was literally able to touch Sun's bed and car. They know everything about their day to day schedules. So it wouldn't be hard to time things in their favor. We saw this recently from Nexus showing up with those drones to talk to Earth in the daycare and Sun at Atlas' study. (They even know where to find that). He also managed to show up and attack Moon while Moon was alone twice. Not to mention isolating Solar twice too.

So with the hyper-vigilance and D!Sun's methodical ways, I think he is orchestrating a trap. I was explaining how strange Sun was acting at the party, and while it is grasping at straws that he's D!Sun, another explanation could be maybe Sun is just stressed? He wants to be a good host to the party. He has a lot of guests to entertain and despite his protectiveness towards Dazzle he trusts Solar to keep her safe.

So with the theory I think the opposite happened, The first person calling Sun was Moon, the store was out of Soda and well....having anything go wrong for a party you planned carefully is stressful. So him snippily hanging up the phone on Moon can be believable, especially since it seemed like Moon was about to start an argument over nothing. Then, while they watch Moon leave the store Nexus called Monty, pretending to be Moon. Nexus just made up a lie about not being able to reach Sun to make Sun and Monty worry that something might be wrong. The only reason Moon would call Sun so much was if he needed help afterall.

Sun, being a good brother obviously would go to the store to see what's wrong. This is when the 'just missed each other' idea comes in. I'm thinking Moon left in advanced and Nexus summoned Sun with the false call, to lure him and hopefully Solar, away from the party and group. With how the timing should go down, Sun shows up to the store when Moon arrives back home to the party. Nexus probably made sure to time it so Sun and Solar would be in the same spot so he could lure them far away in a short amount of time. I think the kidnapping note is a red herring to lead them to a trap. What is the trap? No idea. Nexus is showing that he in particular wants Sun, Solar, and Earth to join him. He's offered a spot by his side to all three. Sun and Solar are right now together in an undisclosed location. It would be interesting to see if Earth is also lured away too.

To me, this theory is a lot more...boring? I think it also holds a bit of water. Let me know what you all think! Which theory did you like more?

[sil-writes-fiction-too]

Worries

Gale x OC!Tav

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

A/N: during last night's BG3 session I found the book Gale was looking for and while expressing my worry for his obsession over it I got a line of dialogue from him that gave me the big sad, so I decided to write how the scene played out in my head and what consequences it might have had on the relationship between Gale and Summer. Be warned that I typed this on my phone during today's lecture so it might suck a little

"Don't be a hindrance after being such a great help!"

He regretted his words immediately after hearing them fall from his own lips. The way she recoiled slightly didn't escape his notice, as neither did the almost defeated look in her eyes. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, he simply wanted, no, needed to get his hands on that book! Desperation was clawing at his chest, clouding his judgement momentairily, that's it. But these were simply excuses, weren't they? He said what he said, and the consequences were quick to catch up to him.

"Fine. Have it. It's all yours."

She said, immediately surrendering the book despite having just expressed her concerns about letting him have it. Relief washed over him as soon as the tome ended in his hands, but that was extremely short lived as now a much bigger, much more important problem sat in front of him. Clearly he had hurt his lover.

He thought she of all people would understand him, understand what he was trying to do, but instead, since the very moment he began his research on the Crown of Karsus, she tried all in her power to change his mind. What was he missing? Wouldn't it be infinitely better for everyone if he ascended to godhood? Wouldn't it be better for her? He could be a far better man for her, if she would just let him.

"Summer, I-"

He began, stammering as he looked for something to say, anything that would help him convey just how contrite he was for the way he had spoken to her a couple moments prior. He searched her yellow eyes, but when he found disappointment reflected in them, his mind was voided of all useful thoughts. What use was his verbosity if he couldn't even think of a decent apology right now??

"Come on. We need to get out of this vault before we are caught."

And so she walked past him, placing her new, flaming axe over her shoulder and closely followed by Astarion and Jaheira. This time around, not even the vampire took the chance to poke fun at him for his evident blunder with the tiefling girl he was so enamoured with. Probably because he could count the times Summer fell silent and got so serious only on one hand. Way to go, Gale.

The book weighted heavy in his hands as he finally decided to follow the group out of the vault, his eyes naturally drawn to the way Summer's tail irritatedly flicked from side to side. He needed to fix this, and fast.

---

The water rippled gently against the stones as the sun set over the horizon, tinging the sky with a deep orange color that faded in a beautiful violet. Dinner had already ended half an hour prior, and now everyone was busy lazying around camp, some resting in their tent, some warming up by the fire. Very few words were exchanged that evening, and Gale was sure it was partly his fault.

When he had thought of the moment he would finally get his hands on the book, he was sure he'd waste no time before reading it... and yet now it sat unopened in his bag, his mind preoccupied elsewhere. Namely, with the tiefling woman that was now sitting on the crooked pier, her gaze trained on the horizon as her tail slowly swished from side to side from under the marvellous cascade of her black waves. Even when she was angry with him he couldn't help but notice how absolutely gorgeous she was. Sometimes he wondered if he had fallen in love with another goddess, but she was always quick to refute this notion.

Thinking on this and many other conversations they had, he began to miss her terribly, as if she wasn't sitting just across camp. Usually they would spend their evenings together. Him, talking her ear off about God knows which topic, and her, listening intently even if said subject was of no interest to her and she struggled to fully understand what he was trying to explain. No matter what, she never seemed to be bothered by his chatty nature. Instead, she encouraged him, asked him to tell her more, all the while looking at him with a tenderness and an adoration he had never experienced before in his life. And he, in turn, would focus solely on her when she would talk to him about her home and peculiar family life in Aegis, fascinated by the stories of her adventures and of the people she met along the way. He was sure he never felt his chest as full as it was when he gazed upon her, and it certainly had nothing to do with the orb.

Before he could get further lost in his thoughts and self-pity, he started walking towards her. He didn't just miss her, he desperately wanted to apologize to her and to let her know that he never meant to hurt her. Fear gripped at his heart. What if she couldn't accept his apology? What if he couldn't remedy? What if-

"Hey."

His own voice jerked him out of his ruminations, and he found himself standing at her side. She remained quiet, her gaze still fixed on the thin, invisible line between the sea and the sky. A shiver ran down his spine.

"May I sit with you?"

He asked tentatively, keeping his hands behind his back to try and seem as composed as usual, but his fingers were fidgeting. He almost walked away immediately after asking, but then she nodded with a soft hum, and that alone felt like a blessing from the Gods.

He sat down beside her, letting his legs dangle from the little wooden pier as his hands tried to sit still in his lap. He was still nervous, but he felt like he could finally speak without making too much of a fool of himself.

"I... I want to apologize, Summer. I realize that my outburst must've hurt your feelings. That I must've hurt your feelings, that is. I didn't mean to be so rude to you. You are not a hindrance to me, I hope you know that. I... I was so set on obtaining that book that I let it cloud my mind. I'm sorry."

He spoke with the utmost sincerity, hoping that what he was trying to say made sense to her.

"I know you must've had a good reason to be so worried. I should've at least heard you out instead of snapping at you like a brute."

His face was starting to feel warm with shame as he replayed the day's events in his head, but before he could keep talking, Summer sighed, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment and her shoulders sinking slightly.

"I did have a good reason, I still do."

Her eyes opened again, and her gaze pointed towards the sky.

"I understand why that book is so enticing to you, but Gale... its contents could be dangerous. And while it's true we have faced greater dangers as a group in the last weeks, this could be risky for you. That's what I am worried about. I mean, "Karsus' Folly"? Ring any bells? You were the one that told me the story, for Hell's sake! Surely you must realize the risks you would face by reforging that blasted thing. I don't..."

She took a breath, and Gale realized she was feeling just as anxious as he was.

"I don't want to lose you."

Her voice turned softer, almost preventing him from hearing the way it trembled. She finally turned to look at him and he could've sworn he felt his heart break at the sight. Her yellow eyes, usually bright and fiery like the flames of the Hells, were now watery and no more than a flickering candle. She was afraid of losing him, much like he was afraid of losing her, and in the midst of all that anxiety and pain... he felt blessed. Blessed to have met her, to have found someone that cared so much about him, to have her heart and her soul and to have given her his in return.

"... I am a lucky man."

He breathed softly, letting a smile curl his lips as he gazed at her.

"You have a great deal of patience, having to put up with me. I hardly deserve you, my love. I understand your fear wholeheartedly, for I feel it all the same for you. Let the stars be my witness, I promise I will do all in my power to stay right by your side for the rest of my days. I am not going anywhere..."

Summer looked at him and a slight smile appeared on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I sense a 'but' coming..."

She joked half-heartedly with a sigh, and he smiled in a way that was sheepish and apologetic.

"But... please let me show you what I'd like to do with the Crown. Give me a chance to explain why this could be a great opportunity for us. I only ask that you hear me out. I promise this is not just some blind chase for power. It has purpose. I do this with you in mind, my love..."

For a moment he thought she would deny his request and retreat to her tent, but after what seemed like an eternity of pondering on her side, she sighed again and relented, nodding her head.

"Fine. I'll hear what you have to say."

His face lit up immediately, making her huff as she brouht her gaze back towards the darkening sky.

"Hells. You're lucky you're cute."

She grumbled a little, and he realized she was pouting. A genuine laugh escaped his lips as he sat closer to her, his eyes shining with love and relief. His hand came to gently rest over her smaller one, almost covering it entirely. She could feel his insistent, adoring gaze on her and she found it hard to hold back a smile. Goddamn him and that adorable face of his, destroying her attempt at looking annoyed. She shook her head with an exasperated chuckle and her tail came to lazily wrap around his waist as if to pull him even closer. What a beautiful night... it would've been a shame to spend it without him by her side.

[sapphires-and-silver-linings]

Half-Life | Chapter Three

There was something to be said about loneliness, though: at least it was predictable.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Sexual Tension, Blood, Body Horror

Notes: It's been a minute since I last posted, but this chapter was a doozy to write! Second longest chapter I've ever churned out, which is insane to me lol. Anyway, I hope you guys like this installment! I was blushing and squealing and kicking my feet while writing it lmao. Leon makes me so sad, but these interactions between him and Bunny (the reader) are SO CUTE. I'd love it if you guys told me your favorite lines or parts in general in the comments! Feedback is what helps keep me motivated!

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It had been a full day since you left, and Leon loathed to admit just how miserable he felt.

He had spent the rest of the prior afternoon with Wolfie hunting for small game, the crow barely able to satiate his hunger.

He always liked the hunt, as he allowed himself to be in the moment, focused solely on his senses and cutting off the tide of emotions that threatened to pull him under.

The distraction didn’t last long, however.

He had killed a couple squirrels and another crow, hoping for something a little more substantial, when he came across a rabbit—a plump one with brown fur—and the reminder of you and the note you left stopped him mid-strike, the animal easily able to escape his normally deadly grasp.

He cut his losses after that, deciding he didn’t want to hunt anymore. He split his meager spoils with Wolfie as he always did, and paced his house until nightfall, his thoughts rampant and his mood sour. 

He tried to sleep it off but tossed and turned instead (though that wasn’t exactly an irregular occurrence for him). 

And now here he was, sitting in his boat in the middle of the lake and spearing any fish that dared to skim the surface of the water, using his tail and those four spidery appendages he had re-released from their place on his spine specifically for the task.

He didn’t like to keep them out for the sake of his own humanity, but the skin of his back rippled and ached when they were confined for too long.

Ten years and he was still uncomfortable in his own body.

He hated it.

He had a growing pile of fish sitting in a bucket before him, reveling in the fact that at least he’d be eating well for the day, briefly pausing his surveillance of the water to snack on one of the scaly creatures.

He wondered what you must be up to right now. Probably already halfway across the globe, bound for home. He wanted to ask you how you’d go about keeping the public from bothering him, but he had been so preoccupied with getting to know you, he had forgotten.

He questioned idly whether or not you would keep to your word, but he supposed it was out of his hands now.

And, for some reason, he trusted you.

It was laughable, almost, how quickly he gave in the moment you didn’t budge from his scare tactics. He had become so inherently suspicious since the events that transpired in Raccoon City, as well as what occurred right here in this village a decade prior, so it shocked him how easily you blew right through his mental defenses.

To be fair to himself—which he often wasn’t—you had caught him so utterly off guard, he had no precedence to follow. No one else had gone that completely against common sense when faced with his monstrous form, and he simply couldn’t wrap his head around it. Besides, he was so starved for social interaction, he couldn’t stop himself from leaping at the opportunity to relish it.

He wanted the whole ordeal to be enough to pull him through to his plotted end, but he thought it was deeply unfair that he only craved more. More conversation. More attention. More affection.

It would have been easier if you had just run.

There was something to be said about loneliness, though: at least it was predictable. At least it was safe.

His inner ramblings were suddenly cut short when he heard a strange sound from the distance. There were footsteps again, but something else he couldn’t quite place—something that rumbled.

His first thought was a vehicle and panic immediately set in, causing him to paddle back to land as quickly as possible.

He wondered if you had broken your part of the deal and alerted others to his presence. Maybe he had been wrong to trust you, after all.

He cursed himself under his breath.

He made it back to shore, the footsteps and that strange sound coming to a halt somewhere too close for comfort. It was in the direction of his house, where he had left Wolfie to dutifully await his return.

If anything happened to his dog, he wasn’t sure what he’d do, praying to a god he no longer believed in that whoever trespassed wasn’t here to cause harm.

He bolted through the woods, dodging between the trees with practiced ease until he was skidding to a halt in the brush beside his home.

The sight that greeted him baffled him to his core.

There, just at his front door, was Wolfie, tail wagging happily as he sat on his haunches. But what really caught his eye was a figure standing above the dog, reaching out to feed him what looked like a treat from their hand.

And, when they turned to face Leon’s direction, the sound of him bounding through the forest catching their attention, he realized the person on his doorstep…

Was you.

“Leon!” you called jovially as he revealed himself from the tree line. “I was wondering where you were!” 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he questioned, his tone harsher than he meant it.

You didn’t seem phased, however, as you replied, “I figured I was due for a vacation. Decided to stay in the country for another week.”

“Doesn’t exactly explain why you came back here, though.”

“Well, I told you I wanted to explore the area more, didn’t I? But don’t worry, I didn’t come empty-handed.” You stepped aside and swept your arm behind you, revealing a large metal wagon stacked with all sorts of items. 

So that was the strange noise he heard.

“This wasn’t in our agreement,” he stated, sounding more annoyed than he actually felt. If anything, he was glad you came back. But he worried about what exactly it would entail if you did stay with him. He then added, conjuring up as much disdain as possible to make a point, “You should leave me alone.”

You raised a brow at him, skeptical. “I don’t think you mean that, Leon.”

“Oh, yeah? Why wouldn’t I?” He stood to his full height like he had the moment you first met, narrowing his bloodred eyes while he tilted slightly forward, as if setting up to lunge.

You seemed fed up with his clearly empty threats as you stepped up to him, hands placed on your supple hips in defiance. “Because you’re lonely and I’m the only person you’ve met in the past decade that didn’t run away screaming at the sight of you.”

He scoffed. “Oh, so you’re bothering me again out of the goodness of your own heart, then?”

“Maybe…” You glanced at your feet for a moment as you found the words to say, “And it’s also possible I came back because I find you interesting. This could be mutually beneficial, you know.”

“Interesting?” he repeated dubiously. He felt a pang of disappointment as he looked down at you. “Am I really just some specimen for you to study? Is that what this is to you?”

Your eyes widened at his accusation, throwing your hands up in the air. “Oh my god, of course not! Sure, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fascinated by your… quirks… but that’s not the only reason I came back.”

“You mean to use me as a field guide for your little hiking trip?” 

“Well, that too. But still not it.”

“Then why?” 

You seemed almost embarrassed as you looked away from him, finally admitting, “I like you as a person, Leon. I enjoyed spending time with you and thought you might have felt the same. I… I’m sorry if I overstepped. I can leave if that's what you want.”

Leon was stunned by your words, unable to do more than gawk at you as you awaited his response. 

Realizing you might not get one, you nodded, crestfallen. “Right, yeah. This was a bad idea. I’ll just—I’ll just get out of your hair, then.”

You turned to grab the wagon and make your exit when Leon wrapped his claws gingerly around your arm, stopping you in your tracks. You gazed back at him, searching his face for an answer.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say,” he told you honestly. Leon almost always had a cheesy one-liner or a snarky quip at the ready, but not for the first time since meeting you, he was speechless.

What could he even tell you, though? That he was thinking about you since you left? That he found himself missing you after only knowing you a day? You must already find him pathetic as is. He didn’t want to exacerbate it.

“You don’t have to say anything,” you responded, a sad smile alighting your pretty face. The thought that he caused it made his stomach twist in a knot. “I was being presumptuous. I shouldn’t have bothered you again.”

You tried to pull away once more but he wouldn’t release his hold, feeling incredibly stupid with how badly he was handling this. “No, it’s fine. I want…” He swallowed, then, unable to meet your eye as he adjusted what was about to leave his mouth, “I don’t mind if you stay a little while longer.”

Your gaze softened as you looked at him, gripping his wrist and squeezing it affectionately. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Yes.” He stared down at your small hand wrapped around him, the warmth emanating from it distracting in a way he found both disarming and comforting. His eyes trailed up your arm to your face, glad to find the once dejected expression had been replaced with a gentle sort of contentment.

You were anything but predictable, and this situation was far from safe, but Leon had to admit… meeting you was the best thing that had happened to him in a long, long time.

Wolfie brushed up against your leg, probably looking for another treat, and the spell was broken. The two of you quickly pulled apart, chuckling awkwardly.

Leon forced himself to look away from you again—not wanting to linger for too long—when his gaze fell upon the wagon once more, curiosity piqued. “So, what exactly’s in there?” 

“Oh, right!” you exclaimed, a grin on your face as you began pulling things out of the small vehicle. “I come bearing gifts!”

With gusto, you listed off the items as you grabbed them, “Brought groceries for me, though I wouldn’t mind sharing, of course! And some water, too, cos I don’t exactly trust drinking from the area. Not too keen on getting a parasite.” You paused after that, eyes wide in realization. “No offense!”

He laughed loudly, shaking his head. “None taken, I promise.”

“Right, moving on,” you continued, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. “I also got myself an air mattress so you can keep your bed and I don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“Not exactly sure how any of those things are gifts if they’re for you.”

“Hold on, Leon, I’m getting there,” you admonished light-heartedly. “The gifts are next.” 

You then pulled out a dog bed with an array of chew toys and bags of treats set inside, as well as a box of various books. “Some things for Wolfie, as every good boy deserves, and since you told me you don’t have anything to read, I grabbed a bunch of random stuff from the local bookstore. Don’t be too harsh on what I picked, though, cos I had no idea what you’d be interested in.”

Leon wondered if he would ever get used to your kindness toward him. To not only provide nice things for his aging pet but to bring him something to read after off-handedly mentioning he was short on entertainment.

A memory tugged at the edges of his mind, one he thought he buried a long time ago.

It was in the days following his parents’ deaths, forced out of his home and prepped to be sent into foster care. He had been taken to the police station so he would no longer be faced with the carnage in the house he grew up in, no one willing to bring him back before the bodies and subsequent viscera they left behind were cleaned up.

Finally, the social worker assigned to his case took him to the house to retrieve his belongings. It was painful—even to his young mind—to see his home spotless like nothing happened there. But the images of blood spattering the floors and walls were imprinted in his brain.

Eventually, he’d learn to repress them.

The social worker helped him as he collected his things, throwing them haphazardly into suitcases and bags found around the house before lugging them into the trunk of her car. He had thought he gathered everything, about to climb into the backseat, when he remembered his favorite storybook—the one his mother would read to him every night before bed. The one she read to him before she was taken from him.

He ran back into the house as fast as his little legs could carry him, tearing apart everything in his path to find the one thing he had that still connected him to the family he lost. 

“It was here! I swear it was here!” he cried as the woman shuffled after him, her eyes sad as she watched him collapse on the living room floor.

“Do you know where you last saw it, Leon?” she asked gently, kneeling beside him.

He pointed with a shaking finger to the dining table nearby, his parents having been slain in that very room.

“Oh, sweetheart…” she whispered, realizing that it was likely ruined by the blood that had drenched it only a few nights prior. “I think they had to… throw it away.”

Leon broke down at that, curling in on himself and sobbing so hard he thought he might throw up his guts right there on the hardwood floor. The woman did the only thing she could think of and carefully tugged him into her arms.

“I’m so sorry,” was all she offered, knowing there was nothing she could say that would help or change the way this child’s life would be eternally fractured. “I’m so sorry.” 

Eventually, he cried all the tears he had left, and the woman led him to the car once more. He watched through the window with dull eyes as the neighborhood faded into the distance.

That was the last time he ever stepped foot inside his childhood home. 

Then, after his parents' funeral, he was about to be taken to his new foster family, frightened and unable to find the silver lining in any of it. The social worker, though, did the kindest thing anyone had done for him in that dark time. 

Just as he was about to get out of her car and trudge up to the unfamiliar house he’d be residing in—not knowing how long he would even be staying there until he’d likely be shipped off to another family—she handed him a gift, telling him to open it when he got inside and settled down.

He did just that, having to take a while to sit in his new bedroom and stare at the four walls, trying to adjust to his surroundings and be brave like his parents would have wanted. 

He finally picked up the gift, tearing the wrapping paper off with tiny, careful hands and opening the box revealed beneath.

What was inside brought tears to his eyes, and he pulled the item to his chest so hard, the edges dug into the skin there, even through his shirt.

It was his favorite book.

Sure, it wasn’t the same one, its predecessor stained by sticky fingers and the pages ripped and crinkled from years of use, but it was still his. 

The police officer that saved his life the night his parents were killed might have led him to join the force when he grew up, but that simple kindness of gifting him a cherished item he thought he lost forever was what pulled him through in those early days of grief and uncertainty of the future.

He couldn’t believe he had even forgotten, his heart clenching as he realized that book, which sat on his shelf in his apartment back in the States, was probably long gone now that everyone thought he was dead.

Once upon a time, he had hoped he could pass on that little book to his own child when he finally managed to settle down.

What a pipe dream that was. 

Well, maybe it could bring another kid joy if it wasn’t just thrown out altogether by his landlord. It wasn’t like he had anyone to give his things to, after all.

Perhaps Claire had the chance to go through them and send everything to a shelter. He could wish. 

He supposed there was no use thinking about it now, though.

It was ten years too late.

“Leon?” you asked him, pulling him from his thoughts with your soft voice. “Did you hear me?”

He exhaled, sporting a sheepish expression. “Sorry, I was just thinking. Say it again?”

“I was telling you about the fuel I brought.”

“Fuel?”

“For the generator! I figured we could get it up and running. That is, if you’re okay with it. I even got extra lightbulbs in case some of them don’t work.”

Leon shook his head and chuckled, taken aback by how much thought you put into your return. “What did your ride have to say about all of this?”

“Nothing, cos I rented a car for the week. Wanted to make sure I had a way to get back into town whenever I needed. You know, in case I missed anything.”

“Missed anything?” he asked, incredulous. “By the looks of it, you brought everything but the kitchen sink.”

“One can never be too prepared!” you defended earnestly.

He fought a wide grin but ultimately lost to his amusement. “I guess that’s true.”

After you finished showing him everything you brought, the two of you got down to business. You managed to get the old generator up and working, replacing a few of the lightbulbs that had gone out. After that, Leon went back to the edge of the lake to retrieve his bounty of fish while you remained behind to put things away.

When he returned, he found you finishing your task by placing the books you bought onto the shelf next to the dining table, slotting the last one into position as he approached. The two of you stood there, eyes roaming over the different titles nearly in unison.

It was a random array of classics, modern fiction of different genres, and nonfiction that consisted of how-to guides, memoirs, historical biographies, and science books. You really seemed to choose a little of everything, and he appreciated it.  

He caught you smiling in his peripherals, turning to face you as you pulled out a novel with a black, shiny cover. You looked up at him with a teasing glint in your irises before saying, “Ever read this classic? I picked it out just for you.”

He grabbed the book from your hands and stared at the title. “Twilight? Can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head as you pulled the book back from his grasp, looking at the inside of the cover. “That’s right, you’ve been here since before this was even published.”

“That mean I was missing out?” he questioned jokingly.

You had a wicked expression on your face as you replied, “Oh, you were. It’s practically a modern Jane Austen if you can believe it. A love story of epic proportions.” You squinted at him for a second before biting your lip and adding, “You might even relate a bit to the love interest.”

“What, is he a monster, too?” 

“Vampire, so close enough.”

“What kind of vampire are we talking about here? Nosferatu? Dracula? How human does this guy look?” 

“Pretty human, I’m afraid. But he sparkles in the sun, so that’s kind of inconvenient.”

Leon scoffed. “Poor him.”

You laughed and he basked in the sound of it. “Poor him, indeed. Maybe if you ask nicely, I’ll read some of it to you before bed.”

He raised a brow at that, ignoring how that made his stomach flip at the thought. “You gonna tuck me in while you’re at it? Get me a warm glass of milk?” 

You rolled your eyes as you slid the book back into its place on the shelf. “Only if you’re a good boy.”

His mouth went dry at your words, unexpectedly affected by them and unable to reply.

Seeing how he froze, you cleared your throat and rushed to change the subject, “Anyway, I wanted to ask you how bathing works here. I didn’t see a tub in the house anywhere.”

Leon shook his head to clear his thoughts before responding, “Yeah, I’ve been doing that in the lake, actually.”

“Hm, it’s a little too cold for me to do that. I guess I can live off of rag baths or something.”

“There are some in the area, like big wash basins. I can bring one in here for you, put it in the side room there. We can just dump the water out the window or something when you’re done. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or feel gross while you’re here.”

“That would be amazing,” you said, leaning over and running your hand down his bicep. He was forced to suppress the shiver the action caused as you continued, “Thank you for being willing to go through the trouble.” 

Against his better judgment, he gripped your shoulder lightly. “It’s the least I could do after all this.” To make his point, he gestured around the house with his free hand, referring to the electric light filling the room, the stocked fridge and pantries, and the books that now lined the once-empty shelves. 

“You deserve it, Leon. I wish I could do more for you if I’m honest.” A faint pink tinged your cheeks as you looked away from him. 

He felt his heart stutter in his chest at that, wishing he could pull you into his arms but knowing that was far too forward. 

“Anyway, I’ll start making dinner if you want a taste. I know you got your fish to eat, but you might like a homemade meal after so long without one.” 

“Yeah, that sounds… nice. I’ll go get a tub for you, I guess.”

You smiled at him brightly and he begrudgingly let you go to do as he said he would, thinking about you the whole time he was out.

After about half an hour, he returned, having found and scrubbed clean a dirty metal bathtub he found in one of the village houses, along with an old rug. While you set the table, he placed the piece of fabric on the ground beside the far window in the side room and then put the tub on top of it, hoping it would serve you well.

The two of you ate dinner, and although he found it delicious, he couldn’t help but prefer his fresh meat to the meal you had cooked. 

You had noticed his avoidance of the vegetables on his plate and laughed about it, asking him if he was really that picky. He was quick to inform you that he could eat plants, but he didn’t like them or need them to live.

“Ah, a true carnivore,” you had said, nodding as if you understood. As if that were normal. 

He would probably never get you. But he wanted to, for whatever reason. 

After dinner was finished, you cleaned the dishes and pulled out that book you had mentioned earlier, looking positively maniacal as you plopped onto the loveseat by the fireplace. Leon sat on his stool, leaning back against the dining table as he awaited your performance.

He realized very quickly why you were so giddy to read it to him.

It was awful, and you seemed to find subjecting him to it hilarious.

He told you as much after you finished the first chapter and you giggled. “I’m sorry, but this book came out when I was a teenager and it had me in a chokehold at the time. It’s funny now, but you can somewhat blame this series for pushing along my obsession with the occult.”

He hadn’t given much thought to the age gap between you, but he realized suddenly that it was at least a decade. You were a grown woman and he wasn’t aging, but that didn’t stop him from questioning it a little. Just another reason he shouldn’t entertain this pull to you he seemed to have. 

However, that couldn’t stop the next few words from coming out of his mouth, the casual flirtation as natural as breathing, “So you’ve always had a thing for monsters, then? Here I thought I was special.”

“You are special,” you assured him, making heat rise to his face. “Insomuch that you’re the first and only monster I’ve come across. Besides, I don’t think Mothman would be so quick to invite me over for dinner.”

“He’s missing out, then,” Leon mused, forcing himself to calm down and not read into what you were saying. “You’re an entertaining guest.”

The two of you chatted and joked all evening, much like the last time you had visited, before you decided it was time for bed. You took turns brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink—Leon grateful that you brought him a new toothbrush and paste to use—and then you carried your duffle bag to the adjoining room to change into your pajamas. 

He grabbed some of your things to go upstairs with him, switching to sleepwear himself before unfolding your air mattress on the floor by the window.

The glass was still broken from when Ada had shot through it a decade ago, and although Leon had cleaned the shards off the ground so that he wouldn’t get them stuck in his feet, he never bothered to patch the hole. Watching you enter the room and shiver as the breeze blew in, he decided tomorrow he would cover it, just to keep you comfortable. 

You laughed when Wolfie barked at the small mechanical air pump loudly whirring as it began to fill the bed, and Leon smiled as you kneeled next to the canine and petted him to alleviate his distress. You patted the dog bed you placed beside Leon’s footboard, cooing as he curled up on it immediately.

Leon could get used to this, you being here. And that was a dangerous thought. You were only back a day—only planned to stay a week—and already he was settling into whatever new normal came with being around you.

He needed to put some distance between you expeditiously if he wanted to keep what was left of his sanity.

As you finished inflating the mattress and placing the bedding you brought for it, you turned to face him and saw the frown and furrowed brows that marred his features.

“Leon, you okay over there?” 

He shifted his gaze to you again, schooling his expression and inwardly admonishing himself for not controlling it in the first place. He supposed he was out of practice, though he was never really good at hiding his emotions, anyway.

“M’fine. Just… tired.” It was close enough to the truth. He had barely slept the night before and he knew there were bags under his eyes as you took in his face thoughtfully.

“Hope I didn’t keep you up too late,” you apologized, biting your lip and looking almost timid.

Fuck, you were cute.

Unfair.

“Course not. Even if you did, I think it was worth it,” he assuaged, running his clawed hand through his hair. “Not like I have a job to do or anything. Plus side to being a cryptid is that you don’t exactly have to follow a schedule.” 

You giggled, visibly relaxing, and shuffled under the covers of your bed. “Well, thank you for letting me stay again. I’m having a good time and I hope you are, too.”

“No problem,” he replied, thinking that perhaps he should be thanking you for the company you were providing him. He refrained. “And I am. It’s been… nice.” That was the understatement of the century, he knew, but it was all he was willing to express.

“Good,” you said before you rubbed your face into your pillow, a loud yawn echoing in the room. “Night, Leon.”

“Night.”

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed awake after that, listening to you snoring softly across the room in a way he found almost endearing, his head foggy with exhaustion and the sheer disbelief that you were here at all.

The things you did to him, you’d never know.

Then finally, he closed his eyes.

+++

You awoke slowly to the sound of someone calling your name, rubbing your eyes and sitting up on your inflatable bed.

You yawned as you peered over, Leon crouched on the floor by his footboard, running his fingers through Wolfie’s fur.

“I see you learned your lesson about how to wake me up,” you teased, voice slightly hoarse from sleep.

He shook his head, smiling. “What can I say? I’ve always been a quick study.”

You offered an upward tug of your lips before you lifted your arms above your head, stretching out until a soft squeak left your mouth against your will. 

You heard Leon chuckle beside you and you gave him a faux glare as you ripped the blankets off your legs. “What’s so funny, Mr. Kennedy?”

He stood up and only needed to take one long step to be next to your bed, towering over you, before he bent down and offered his hand. “Nothing at all, little rabbit.”

You scoffed but allowed him to easily pull you to your feet. “Is that my official nickname now?”

“‘Fraid so. It suits you a little too well.” His eyes were on you for a moment before they drifted to your still-joined hands. He ran his finger over the ring you were wearing; the one he had given you. “I thought you were joking when you said I was proposing to you,” he mused.

“I was,” you huffed indignantly. “When I pawned off the other stuff you gave me, I decided I wanted to keep this one because it looked cool. And… it reminded me of my time here.”

“And you just so happened to put it on your ring finger?”

“Don’t you get any ideas. It just fits that one best.”

He grinned down at you mischievously before releasing your hand from his grip. “If you say so.” 

“Anyway, now that we’re up…” You sidestepped him to open the bedroom door, trying not to let him see the way his teasing got you all flustered. “I’d like you to take me on a tour today. After breakfast, of course.”

He sighed with exaggerated annoyance. “If I have to.”

You nodded before bounding out of the room and down the stairs, calling back, “You do!”

You were quick to enter the side room, peeling off your pajamas and pulling out your clothes for the day. You eyed the top you had bought the morning before on a whim, considering how it flattered your form and showed a decent amount of your cleavage, but thought better of it. These little flirtations you shared with Leon likely didn’t mean anything, and you loathed to appear desperate. You’d save it for another day, you decided.

You finished changing, then dealt with your unruly hair before brushing your teeth and washing your face. 

Leon joined you shortly after in the kitchen, also donning a new outfit, though the worn fabric and the awkward way it hung off of him made you want to get his measurements just so you could spoil him with a new wardrobe. You worried about going through with it, though, afraid it would come across as rude or even creepy to ask. 

Like the top you deliberated wearing, you decided to save that conversation for another day. You had a week, after all. 

“You making anything for breakfast?” he questioned, leaning casually in the archway, his long arms crossed in front of his chest. You found it both funny how human it was and… strangely attractive.

You averted your gaze. “Just gonna eat cereal. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t expect you to be my personal chef, you know.” He pulled one of the fish he caught the day prior from where you had stacked them in the bottom of the fridge. “Plenty happy with what I got.” 

You scrunched your nose at the smell of the scaly creature as he released it from its ziplock bag. “Eat whatever you want, Leon, but you better scrub your mouth after that. Can’t have you reeking of fish while we’re out all day.”

He offered a lazy salute before taking a large bite. “Yes, ma’am.”

You grinned and prepared your own breakfast, your stomach already growling.  

After eating, and after Leon dutifully brushed his teeth and tongue with added vigor at your behest, he pulled out an old map to aid in your little adventure. You noted the handwritten scrawls across the page, naming each location in the area. You weren’t sure what building you were in, so you trailed your finger from the hunter’s lodge to where you assumed Leon’s house sat.

“We’re here, I’m guessing?” you asked him, pointing at what was titled “the chief’s manor” on the old, yellowed paper.

He nodded, seeming impressed. “Didn’t expect you to figure it out so quick.”

“Well, I use maps on my investigations, you know. A lot of places with cryptid sightings have shit service, so I can’t rely on my GPS. You eventually figure things out after getting lost in the woods a couple times.”

He chuckled at that. “So, where do you want to go?” 

You stared thoughtfully at the map for a few moments, thinking about where you’d like to start. “How about we explore the right side of the area first since we’re already here? Then we could do the left side tomorrow.”

“You’re the boss,” Leon said, shrugging.

“Damn right,” you replied with a smile.

You then got to work filling your backpack with water bottles and a sandwich for later. You even added a baggie full of lunch meat for Leon.

Once out of the door, the two of you (and Wolfie, of course) began your little journey. There was a cool breeze that swept across the path ahead, but the sun was high and warmed your skin. You even pulled out your ballcap and placed it on Leon’s head to keep the light out of his sensitive eyes, which he rolled at your demand, but didn’t protest. 

You traveled down to the abandoned factory and what the map called “the valley”. The factory didn’t hold much of your interest after a quick sweep, but the valley was like a playground to you, the area just a bunch of wooden platforms and bridges set into the surrounding cliffs with a couple of small, empty buildings.

Leon didn’t have much to say about any of it, grumbling about how the area was one he usually avoided, but you caught him smiling softly at your excitement. You were glad for it because you knew most people found your unbridled joy more annoying than endearing.

After that, you circled back, passing Leon’s house and heading to the village in order to reach the church.

As you were perusing the gravestones in the front, enamored by just how old some of them were, you spoke to Leon about something that had been on your mind, “So, the day we met, you told me that I reminded you of someone. Can I ask who?”

He let out a puff of laughter at your nosiness. “Her name's Claire. We survived Raccoon City together.”

“She become an agent, like you? Or was she the person you were protecting when you were forced to join?”

“Neither. She took off pretty much as soon as she could to find her brother. The person I was protecting was this girl named Sherry. She had antibodies against one of the viruses in the city, and they were threatening to experiment on her if I didn’t do their bidding,” he explained, his expression hardening at the memory.

“Jesus,” you muttered. “Your friend ever find her brother?”

“Yeah, at least that side of things worked out.” 

“So… what happened after? Y’know, before you came to the village,” you questioned.

“I’m not sure what you mean. I worked as an agent for six years. Then this. Not much else to say about it.”

You bit your lip, deliberating how to go about asking him what you wanted to know, deciding to be straightforward instead of coy. You had never been good at subtlety, anyway. “I meant you and Claire. Were you guys a thing?” 

“Ah.” He chuckled lightly. “No, we weren’t. She’s great, don’t get me wrong, but we were just friends. Kept in touch until, well… you know.”

“Right.” You found yourself to be strangely relieved that there was nothing between them, but you admonished yourself for even caring. You were only here for a week, after all. No use getting attached, especially after only a couple of days.

He was thoughtful for a moment before he added, “I wonder about them all the time. How they’re doing. A lot can happen in ten years.”

“I don’t know about your friends, but I can at least update you on Ashley, if you’d like?” you offered. 

“Is she okay?” he questioned, going stiff. He seemed to always expect the worst and that broke your heart a little.

“Yes, she’s perfectly fine,” you assured him, glad to see him visibly relax at your words. “In fact, she’s more than fine.”

He tilted his head, “That so?”

“She’s a member of Congress now. Kind of following in her dad’s footsteps, I guess. She’s pretty popular among the younger crowd, always fighting for the underdog. They started calling her a saint after she founded an organization to help people who’ve gone through kidnapping, hostage situations, and things like that. A real inspiration.” 

Leon smiled wistfully. “I’m happy to hear that. I always knew she had it in her, to be her own hero.”

“You know, she’s made several public statements about what happened here. Obviously, there were parts heavily doctored, but still.” You paused a moment, playing with the hem of your shirt. “She talked a lot about you, too. How you saved her. Like you were a modern-day Hercules or something.”

He scoffed, seeming almost diffident. “I was just doing my job. And she saved both herself and me plenty of times. She should give herself more credit.”

“So humble,” you teased, snaking your arm through his, having to strain your neck just to look up at him. “You really are a catch.”   

He rolled his eyes and pulled away from you, “And you think you’re funny.”

“I am funny,” you corrected with a grin, trying not to feel hurt by the way he distanced himself.

He shook his head. “Well, c’mon then, miss comedian. Let’s get a move on.”

The two of you continued your expedition, walking into the nearby church. You raved over the large building and its architecture, awed by the massive stained glass window that painted you, Leon, and Wolfie in a kaleidoscope of light.

Even in this form, you couldn’t deny that Leon looked pretty washed in the rainbow hues. You raked your eyes over him before meeting his gaze and you froze, worried you had been caught ogling him. He turned his head quickly, though, and seemed almost embarrassed. As if he were the one that was caught. 

You realized that he had been staring at you, too, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the thought.   

You moved on to the quarry, finding a massive skeleton that made your jaw drop to the ground. Leon explained that it was called El Gigante, a troll-like monster that he had slain himself. He laughed as he patted Wolfie’s head, adding that the dog had aided in the fight, not to give himself too much credit. 

After getting your fill of the fascinating creature, you eventually pushed forward, reaching the edge of the lake and deciding to sit on the dock together to eat your lunch. You pried your shoes off, dipping your sweaty feet into the water, cringing at how cold it felt against your skin. 

You chatted idly as you ate, Leon feeding pieces of the deli meat you brought to Wolfie as he devoured his own. You smiled at the sight before gazing back out at the lapping waves, the rhythmic sounds of them hitting the dock almost mesmerizing.

“You should take me on the lake at some point,” you mused, pulling your legs up so that your feet could dry out.

“Sure, that can be arranged. It’s nice out on the water. Peaceful.” He pulled your ball cap further over his forehead. “I like to go fishing a lot these days, just so I can sit out there and shut everything out.”

“I’m not one for fishing,” you admitted, knocking your shoulder gently into his. “But the rest sounds great.”

“It’s a date, then.” You both froze at his phrasing and he was quick to amend, “That was a joke.”

You were disappointed to hear him take it back but smiled up at him regardless. “Joke or not, that sounds good to me.” 

You lazed about for a while after that in silence before you pulled your socks and shoes back on, mentioning the fish farm to Leon. He told you about how it was infested with algae and vipers and smelled terrible. You made a face, not exactly keen on wading through stinky snake water, opting to call it a day and head back for his house.

You had just reached the wooded path heading for Leon’s abode when both he and Wolfie stopped dead in their tracks. Not noticing their halted movement, you took a step forward and Leon threw his arm in front of you, barring you from walking any further.

“What’s wrong?” you questioned in a hushed tone, seeing Leon’s severe expression and Wolfie’s raised hackles. 

“Bear,” was all he offered.

You were about to say something when a loud rustle was heard from the tree line just ahead of you. You swallowed as a giant bear sauntered onto the path, uncomfortably close to where you stood.

Looking at the massive creature, it was suddenly apparent what Leon meant when he said you’d been lucky up to this point, never facing a predator beyond a fox or large bird in your investigations. You didn’t realize just how big they were in person. 

Instead of moseying on like you had hoped, it began to walk toward your group. Panic set in when Wolfie growled and snapped his jaw, the bear seeming to take offense, huffing irritably and edging even closer.

“Down, boy,” Leon commanded the dog, who immediately backed away. Leon stepped in front of you slowly, whispering, “Don’t move.”

You nodded at him and he gave one in return before facing the dangerous animal again. He stood to his full height and splayed out his appendages, hoping they would deter it from further approaching. But the damn thing didn’t back off, letting out a roar and lifting itself up on its hind legs, somehow even taller than Leon.

You had heard male brown bears could grow up to eight feet in height and weigh half a ton, though you had never thought about what that meant in real life. It was terrifying. 

Suddenly, you felt something touch your waist. You let out a small gasp as you looked down, finding that Leon’s tail was coiling around you. It tightened and yanked you towards him, and you tried to avoid the sharp barbed end of it as it slid across your middle.  

His tail was forgotten, though, when Leon raised his claws, bared his fangs, and growled. The sound was deep and loud and so inhuman it sent a bolt of fear through your whole body. A fear that even the gargantuan bear before you, ready to maul you to death, didn’t elicit.

The noise had apparently even rattled the predator itself, which took a few steps back and dropped forward onto its front legs once more. Leon growled again, this one quieter and more guttural, but no less frightening.

The bear just huffed before trotting off into the forest.

Leon exhaled in relief, relaxing his position. “We’re good to go if we hurry,” he said without looking at you. 

“Um, Leon? Can’t exactly hurry when I’m trapped like this.”

He turned his head sharply, his red eyes widening when he noticed his tail had completely encircled your torso, squeezing you tightly as the tip flicked precariously close to your face.

“Fuck,” he said, slowly and carefully unfurling the appendage from your body. “I’m so sorry. I—I didn’t even realize I did that. Are you okay? I didn’t catch you with the barb, did I?” 

You let out a breath as soon as you were free. “I’m fine, it didn’t get me.” 

“Good, cos there’s venom in it. Depending on where it stings you and how deep, it might paralyze you for a while.” 

You stared up at him with a horrified expression. “Seriously? How long is ‘a while’?”

“I normally use it when I’m hunting bigger prey, like deer, so I don’t exactly sit around and wait for it to wear off before going for the kill. But I have used it on predators in self-defense, and they were up and at ‘em in about an hour.”

“Have you ever stung yourself by accident?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t work on me. Immune to it, I guess. Still hurt like a bitch, though.”

You eyed his tail warily. “And you really didn’t know you grabbed me with it?”

“I didn’t,” he said, sighing glumly. “Guess it was just… instinctual.”

“Well… thank you. For protecting me, I mean.” You couldn’t deny that the whole ordeal scared you, but you were still grateful. And Leon was still Leon, as far as you could glean.

“Of course, it’s my—” he cut himself off and let out a soft chuckle. “I almost said ‘it’s my job’. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“I suppose if I’ve roped you into showing me around the place, it kind of is your job,” you joked.

He smiled and you finally relaxed, the warmth of it—even despite his sharp teeth—was enough to make you feel safe again.

He cleared his throat awkwardly before looking at the tree line where the bear had disappeared, his tone serious as he said, “We should really head home in case he comes back.”

“Right, of course,” you replied, reaching out to hold onto his arm once more. You were pleased when he allowed it, guiding you to the safety of his house, Wolfie happily trailing behind.

You might have been frightened, but you couldn’t deny the exhilaration that coursed through your veins.

You wondered what the rest of the week would have in store.

+++

Leon awoke much the same way as he had the day before: to the sound of your deep breaths and even heartbeats caressing his ears from across the room.

He didn’t stir, only stared up at the ceiling of his canopy bed, thinking about yesterday’s events. 

It started out as a good day, which he realized he came to expect in your company, but he knew something shifted after the bear incident. 

You spoke to him as if nothing changed, but the way you looked at him—or more accurately, the way you refused to look at him—was distinctly off. He figured you were just rattled by the whole thing, but he had shown you a side to him he hoped he would never have to. The part that was truly monstrous.

And the way he had wrapped his tail around you? How it seemed to move of its own accord? The cursed thing often flicked about without him directly using it, but he believed he generally had full control of the appendage. Apparently not.

That realization alone was enough to concern him, but the fact it involved you mortified him beyond belief. He was shocked you didn’t decide to pack up and leave the moment the two of you returned to the house.

Instead, you made dinner like the night before, and while you cooked, Leon had duct-taped an old towel over the hole in the upstairs window to have something to do and to give you space. 

You had then called him down for the meal, Leon choosing to eat all of what you cooked despite his preference for fresh meat and little else, in part hoping it would come across as some sort of olive branch. You seemed surprised by it but didn’t make a comment like you might normally.

He also caught you staring at his tail, and he had his guesses of what you might be thinking.

He assured you what happened earlier wouldn’t happen again, and you told him it was no big deal and that you weren’t worried. He didn’t believe you, though he had no choice but to let it go and pretend the fact he scared you didn’t make his stomach twist in knots. 

After clearing the table, you mentioned wanting to take a bath, and Leon was quick to start the process of boiling the water for you, telling you to relax and read a book. As a compromise, you began reading aloud more of that ridiculous vampire romance novel you bought for him as a joke. Although the story wasn’t exactly his cup of tea, he was happy to hear your little performance just for him, entertained by the voices you gave each of the characters.

You had just ended a chapter—number four or five, he couldn’t recall—when he finished filling the tub with hot water. You obviously had to wait a few minutes for it to cool down enough to get into, but once you were ready, you ducked into the side room.

Leon, still wanting to talk to you and not knowing what else to do, sat against the wall on the opposite side, Wolfie curling up in his lap as you chatted back and forth. 

He could hear the quiet splashing as you moved and cleaned yourself out of his sight, and started to imagine what you looked like under your clothes. How your soaked hair dripped water onto your shoulders and ran in rivulets down your body; how your wet skin would feel under his hands.

He physically recoiled from his wandering thoughts, smacking the back of his head against the wall and letting out a hiss of pain.

“You okay over there?” you questioned, voice light and teasing, though still concerned for his well-being. 

God, you were too good for him. 

“M’fine,” he grumbled in reply, dropping his face into his hands, urging himself to get a grip.

Eventually, you emerged from the room in your pajamas, wringing your hair out with a towel. As you strolled past him to brush your teeth in the kitchen, he was struck by the aroma of the soap you used.

Lavender and vanilla.

The smell was enough to make his mouth water, trailing after you as if possessed. He loomed over you, wanting nothing more than to bury his face into the crook of your neck and inhale.

You turned to face him quizically after rinsing your mouth, and he took a sharp breath to pull himself out of whatever trance he was in, removing himself from your personal space.

What the hell was wrong with him? 

In all the years it took to get used to what he became, he had never been compelled by anything except hunger. He hated that fact, and it troubled him, but whatever this was? It felt far more dangerous.

At least the hunger was predictable.

The two of you had gone to bed without further incident, but he had tossed and turned for hours after, unable to banish the thoughts of you swirling in his head, especially with your sleeping body mere feet away.

To hear you, to smell you, to practically feel the heat emanating from your skin across the room… it felt like torture. Would he be able to survive several more days of this?

He finally sat up in bed the following morning, feeling restless despite not getting much sleep. He called out your name as he grazed his eyes over you.

You were laying on your side, facing away from him, a mess of hair the only thing he could make out from the pile of blankets you were wrapped up in. 

He called your name again, a bit louder, and you finally stirred, rolling over to look at him with bleary eyes.

“Morning, Leon,” you sighed out, rubbing the sleep from your lashes.

“Mornin’,” was his gruff reply, dragging his fingers through his hair. “You still determined to go exploring today? Even after what happened with the bear?” 

You grinned lazily, turning to face him and propping yourself up on your elbow. “Of course I am. You think a lil run-in with the local wildlife will deter me? Clearly, you haven’t been paying attention.” 

He could argue he’d been paying too much attention, but he’d never say it aloud.

You continued, “Besides, I have a big, strong man to protect me.”

He scoffed, shifting his face away from you so you couldn’t see the blush spreading there. “Oh, yeah? Who’s that?” 

You rolled your eyes before slowly dragging yourself out of bed and sauntering over to him, crossing your arms. “You, silly. Now hurry up and get dressed. We got a big day ahead of us.” 

Before he could protest, you were out the door.

He blew air through his teeth and shook his head, begrudgingly getting to his feet. He looked down at Wolfie, who wagged his tail but didn’t move to leave his cushy dog bed. “Women, am I right?”

He quickly got dressed, cursing the fact he didn’t own a single thing that fit him. He wasn’t sure why he cared, as if a change of clothes would make you interested in a monster.

Your flirtations admittedly affected him, but he wasn’t going to kid himself into thinking you’d ever be attracted to him like this. And for your safety, it would be better if you weren’t. You were strange, sure, but you were still human. Human and fragile, he had to be reminded.

Pulling himself together, determined to keep his distance and stop flirting with you, he made his way down the stairs to face you once more.

As he turned the corner, however, the sight that greeted him made him stop in his tracks.

You had just finished changing, walking out of the side room when you saw him and smiled, doing a little twirl with the outfit you were wearing. “You like it? I bought this shirt just the other day.”

He couldn’t prevent the way his eyes raked over your form, taking in the fashionable boots, tight jeans, and puffy-sleeved baby doll top that sat low and tight across your chest. You had even done your makeup and styled your hair in a high ponytail, front pieces of it dangling to frame your face.

It hadn’t even been five minutes and you were already testing his resolve.

Unfair. 

“Well?” you prodded when he only stood in silence.

He cleared his throat and nodded, trying to act cool. “You look… nice. Not sure how comfortable it’ll be to hike around in all day, but you do you.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing past him and into the kitchen. “I think I’ll be just fine.”

The rest of the morning was spent eating breakfast and setting up for the next trip, though there was a heavy tension Leon was suddenly aware of. It had always been there between the two of you, but it had been a slow, simmering thing. Something manageable.

Now, though? It felt like the pot might overboil.

He had to stop himself from staring at you multiple times, trying desperately to be the gentleman his mother raised him to be. He didn’t want you to think he was a pervert on top of being a literal monster. He had to have some principles to hold on to, after all.  

It’s not like you knew how deeply you were affecting him, anyway. And if he could help it, you never would.

The day’s journey was a bit strenuous, having a lot more ground to cover than the one prior. He decided it was best that Wolfie remain behind, the dog cozied up on his little bed as you were leaving.

Once you exited the house, Leon kept his eyes peeled for that bear again, or any other potential danger, not wanting a repeat of yesterday’s events. Still, he couldn’t help but smile softly at the way you approached every new area with such awe and excitement. It was strange to see someone find such joy in a location he’d deemed his own personal hell. It almost made him appreciate the place, to see it through your eyes. 

Almost.

The two of you visited the farm and the lakeside settlement, returning to the gate of the villa to eat your lunch at the table inside. 

After you finished your meal, you bit your lip the way you always did when you were deep in thought. The action drove him a little crazy, but he ignored it.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

“Do you think we’ll have time to explore the castle today?”

He sat back in his seat to consider it, glancing out the nearby window. “Well, we’re making good time. Still got a few hours of daylight. If you don’t dawdle too much on the way there, we probably could.” 

You beamed at him, an excited squeal leaving your mouth. “Fuck yeah! I’ve never been to real a castle before!”

He couldn’t deny the self-satisfaction he felt at the idea of providing you with so many new experiences. If there was anything he was sure of, it was that you’d never forget your time here, and that would be a good enough turnout for him.

He smiled in return. “Well, let’s get to changing that.”

Leon had been through the area many times over the years, clearing the paths that had been obstructed when he was chased around it a decade ago. It was still a difficult trek, especially for a human, and the two of you had to stop occasionally so that you could catch your breath and drink some water. 

He didn’t mind it one bit, finding himself observing the sun glinting off your sweat-slick skin. Your makeup was holding up surprisingly well, though the loose strands of hair you had pulled from your ponytail were beginning to stick slightly to your face. His eyes drifted to your chest, watching it rise and fall with your every breath.

“Okay, we’re good to keep going,” you told him, thankfully unaware of his gaze, which he quickly turned forward.

Eventually, you made it to the rickety old bridge that led to the burnt-down slaughterhouse. Leon had repaired it as best he could in the early days of his transformation, wanting an easy way to get around the area. He found he could jump over the ravine with his new superhuman abilities, but it was still a precarious leap.

He went to stroll across the wooden planks, held together by rope, when he noticed you hadn’t moved to follow.

He raised a confused brow at you. “Well, c’mon.”

You swallowed as you approached the bridge, nervously stepping onto it. Your knees buckled when you looked down and saw how high up you were. He easily caught you, and you held on tightly to his arm for balance. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mused. “Little miss thrillseeker is scared of heights?”

“Not… usually. More scared of how rickety this thing is than anything,” you grumbled. 

Your grip on him was bruising, but he didn’t mind. “We crossed another one just earlier and you seemed fine.”

“Well, this one isn’t nearly as sturdy, is it?” you snapped, letting out a shaky exhale as you tried to take another step.

He looked thoughtfully at you for a moment, deciding to take a risk by sweeping you off your feet and holding you up in his arms.

“Leon!” you yelped, wrapping your hands around his neck fearfully. “What the hell?!”

He chuckled lightly as you peeked over your shoulder. “Don’t worry, bunny, I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.”

You pivoted to face him with wide eyes, your face reddening. “Aren’t I too heavy for this?” you questioned nervously.

He scoffed. “I could pick up a car, easy. This is nothing.” 

“I more so meant the bridge. Wouldn’t want to break it with both our weights combined, right?”

He shook his head. “Do you trust me?”

You stared at him for a few moments but eventually nodded timidly. “Yeah. I do.”

“Then trust,” he began, taking a step forward, “that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“Okay,” you squeaked, holding onto him tighter. You buried your face into the crook of his neck so you wouldn’t have to see the way the creaking bridge swayed with every movement.

He carefully worked his way across without concern, enjoying the feeling of you in his arms. You were delightfully warm as you pressed against him, and the feeling of your breath sweeping over his throat forced him to suppress a shiver.

Regretfully, he made it to the other side, setting you down on solid ground once more. “See? Not so bad.”

You seemed flustered, likely because of your nerves concerning the old bridge, taking a moment to adjust your clothes and hair that were rumpled slightly by the ordeal. “I guess not.”

The two of you began the brief hike to the castle after that, Leon feeling the absence of your body heat so intensely, it was worrying. Whatever this was between you, it was getting out of hand, and Leon was apparently unable to keep his distance.

He had never been particularly good at saying what he wanted, but that never stopped him from seeking it out as if he were a damn homing missile. His interactions with Ada in the past were proof of that. He would have followed her anywhere if he were able. If she had let him.

He banished thoughts of her from his mind, an easier task after a decade of doing it over and over again. His thoughts of you, however, were a different beast altogether. 

He figured, though—he hoped—that once you left, he’d learn to push away his feelings for you, too. At least he had practice.

He was pulled from his introspection when he heard you practically scream in excitement as you came around the bend in the path, the massive, sprawling castle revealed to you.

“Oh my god! Just look at it! It’s huge! And the structure? Friggin’ impressive!” you gushed as the two of you approached the gate.

He grinned down at you and could almost see the stars in your eyes. “Wait 'til you see the inside.”

Your joy was nearly infectious as you explored the area, dragging him around from place to place and only letting him lead when you needed directions. He didn’t mind it, happy to trail after you as you oohed and aahed at damn near everything you saw.

He watched as you admired the flowers in the courtyard, the blooms unruly due to years of neglect, not yet killed by the autumn chill. Once you had turned your back on the bed of red carnations, he couldn’t fight the urge to pluck one from the dirt.

He strolled up behind you as you cooed over the bluebells, offering it to you when you faced him again. “For you.”

You looked surprised at first, but your expression melted into a sweet smile. “Thank you, Leon.”

Before you could reach out to take it, he bent forward and gently tucked it behind your ear, standing upright to get a full view. “Suits you.” 

You seemed almost bashful for a moment, looking away. Trying to fluster you was rapidly becoming his favorite pastime.

Quickly as it had come, your almost shy demeanor disappeared, a twinkle forming in your eye as you plucked a stem of the bluebells and stuck it into Leon’s back pocket. “There, now we’re even.”

He chuckled at the action, finding your reciprocity charming, and the two of continued your journey onward.

You eventually entered the grand hall, and when you finished appreciating the opulence of the marble walls alone, you began to take in the decor.

“You said you like the artwork in the castle, right?” you questioned, pointing at a large landscape painting in front of you.

Leon nodded. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind putting most of these up at my place.”

“Well… no one’s stopping you,” you goaded, grinning at him slyly. “I think this one would look perfect in the dining room, don’t you agree?”

He laughed, running his hand over the back of his neck as he considered it. “I don’t know, it’d be a hassle to bring them all the way to the house.”

“Sure,” you admitted, crossing your arms. “But don’t you think it’d be worth it to spruce up the place? Make it a bit more… homey? Besides, we could just take them out of the frames and roll them up. Make our own. It could be a fun little DIY project, and it’s not like you aren’t swimming in lumber.”

“Fine, I’m convinced.” He sighed, admitting you had a point. “You’d make a decent car salesman, you know that?”

You scrunched your nose at the thought, helping Leon remove the heavy frame from the wall, although he didn’t need it. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” 

Leon smirked, allowing you to gently pull out the canvas, rolling it up. “Just an observation.”

You clicked your tongue in faux offense, continuing the task at hand. 

The two of you collected six different paintings, which Leon was now stuck with holding for the rest of the trip. It was a nuisance, but at least having something in his grip prevented him from acting on his impulse to reach out and touch you. 

Finally, you came across the library, and he knew you could spend an eternity going through the seemingly endless amount of books that lined the shelves as soon as you entered. You were about to make yourself comfortable and start reading to your heart’s content, but Leon had to remind you of your limited time. 

“But this place is a gold mine!” you told him with a pout, the expression so damn cute, it tested his already crumbling resolve. 

“Look, there’re still places to visit, and you have a few more days. We can always come back if you want,” he proposed.

You sighed exaggeratedly but gave in as he thought you would. “Fine, but you can’t stop me from taking some of these,” you informed him, shoving several books into your bag.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Afterward, he led you into the ballroom, and the way you gazed around in amazement at the sheer size of it made him chuckle. 

“Imagine the parties in this place…” you mused. You dropped your backpack on the ground suddenly, marching to the center of the floor. “You know how to waltz, Leon?”

“Can’t say I do, unless you count slow-dancing at prom. Even then, I’m probably a little rusty.”

“Well, set down those paintings and get over here, mister. I’m gonna teach you how to dance like a prince,” you demanded earnestly.

“Seriously?”

“Please..?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, and despite his reluctance, he found it difficult to say no to you.

He gave out a long-suffering sigh, placing the paintings against the wall and meeting you where you stood. “If I step on your toes, you only have yourself to blame, bunny.”

You smiled up at him. “A risk I’m willing to take.”

Slowly and carefully, you put his hands into their proper positions; one in your own and the other resting against your waist. You coached him on how to move, and he followed your lead at first, stiff and awkward in his motions. Within a few minutes, though, he quickly picked up the rhythm and you allowed him to take charge, giggling as he spun you around the room.

“You’re a natural,” you complimented, rubbing your thumb against his shoulder where your hand was placed. He found himself doing the same to your side and was enthralled with the shiver that ran through your body, proof that maybe he had even the slightest effect on you.

“What can I say—” he started.

“You’re a quick study?” you teased, echoing his earlier words.

“No, actually,” he corrected, pulling you a little closer. “I was going to say, ‘I have a great teacher’.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure you were.”

After a few more blissful minutes, Leon begrudgingly slowed to a halt and released you from his grasp. “Well, we better get a move on. It’s our last stop for today.”

You went to grab your backpack but he prevented you, telling you to leave it as you’d be coming back through, anyway. You nodded, following him to the final destination.

You laughed with pure glee when he brought you into the throne room, immediately bounding towards the massive, gilded seat. You took your time studying it, running your fingers over the intricate carvings along the sides before pressing down on the red cushion to test its comfiness.

“Well, go on. Sit,” he encouraged, crossing his arms over his chest.

You beamed at him before putting your attention back on the chair, turning and gracefully perching on top of it.

“Look at you, practically made to be royalty,” Leon told you as he approached.

He was joking, but there was truth in it. Seeing you sit on the ornate piece of furniture with one leg crossed over the other and your arms draped upon the sides of it was truly a sight to behold. He didn’t know you could appear so regal, even if it was for pretend. 

“Made for it?” You hummed thoughtfully before saying, “Perhaps I just inherited the throne, the only remaining family of the recently deceased king.”

“Mm, and what would that make me, your Highness?” he questioned, tilting his head. He stood before you now, and he would’ve been remiss not to notice the playful gleam in your eye as you raked your gaze over him. 

“You can be my loyal knight,” you told him, nodding your head. “There are those that transpire against me in this very court, sir. I would need someone diligent and strong to watch for my usurpers, after all.” 

“A knight, huh?” Leon mused, coming up beside you and tracing a clawed finger along the back of the chair. “Not the fierce dragon holding the fair maiden hostage while she waits for someone brave or stupid enough to come looking for her?” He kneeled beside you, then, resting his elbows on the arm of the throne, his chin pressed on top of his folded hands. “No one’s managed to get past me yet. Sorry to tell you, princess.”

You shifted in the chair to face him, fingers splayed out on either side of his arms. “Even better… we could be Beauty and the Beast. A lonesome prince cursed to a monstrous form until he finds true love. And, of course, I’m only here to trade my life for my father’s, who had been terribly rude to sneak into your home unannounced. He’s a bit of an eccentric, you must know, but he’s a good man. And I’m eventually charmed by your uncouth mannerisms and prickly personality.” 

“Uncouth and prickly? Ouch,” Leon chuckled. “Well, how does it end, then? Does true love turn me back into a human? That would be nice.”

“If we’re following the original tale, sure. But I have it on high authority that Beauty might have been more disappointed by the transformation than relieved.”

Leon raised his brows at that. “Disappointed the Beast turned back into a prince?” 

“I’m sure she didn’t complain, of course. He was handsome, after all, and still the man she fell in love with, but… Beauty loved the Beast in part due to his monstrous form, not in spite of it.”

“Beauty sounds like a freak,” Leon quipped, though your words made something of a home inside of his chest, curled up and warm. “I bet you think The Little Mermaid should have kept her tail, don’t you?” 

You bit your lip as you mulled it over, and he struggled not to stare at how the soft flesh gave under the pressure of your teeth, his eyes jumping back to meet yours almost guiltily as you finally replied, “Although I think the story would have been infinitely more interesting if she had, there’s something to be said about sacrifice in the name of love. It was a little unfair, though.”

“Unfair?”

“Well, why did she have to sacrifice everything for the prince? She gave up who she was on a fundamental level just to be with him. And what did he give up? He was still a prince. He was still handsome and rich. And then he got a beautiful girl so desperate to be with him, she’d trade her family, her friends, parts of her own body, her voice—just to get a chance with him. Feels a little unbalanced, doesn’t it?”

You were closer now, and he realized you both had shifted toward each other, like gravity itself had a hand in it. His tongue ran along the back of his teeth as he studied you and that smile dimpling your cheeks. 

If it were gravity, you must have been the sun, then.

“I guess I never thought of it that way,” he responded. “What other wise inferences do you have for me, princess?”

You giggled and the sound might be imprinted in his brain forever. “Oh, so many, it’ll make your head spin.” 

“Guess I have a lot to learn,” he replied, grinning. 

“Definitely, but I think the biggest lesson here is that it's all a matter of… perspective.” 

“I can’t believe anyone would want to overthrow you with smarts like that, your Highness. Sounds like you’d be a great ruler.”

“And that’s precisely why they seek to steal my crown, dear sir. An intelligent woman is a dangerous one,” there was a teasing lilt in your voice that made him suck in a harsh breath, your expression so open and light juxtaposed with the intensity of your eyes trained solely on him. 

A silence stretched on between you as you simply stared at each other, and he could feel his heart hammering in his chest—could hear your own do the same, though he wouldn’t dare hope it meant what he wanted it to.

You made him feel human.

But then he saw his own reflection in your eyes, and the sight of his sharp teeth was the reminder he needed that he wasn’t human, and he never would be again.

He supposed his curse couldn’t be broken.

And so he pulled away.

“We should get back to the house. It’s a long walk,” he told you, looking at the floor instead of you, afraid he might do something rash if he met your gaze for a moment longer. 

You let out a shaky breath, blinking as if you were pulled from a daze, and stood. “Yeah, right. Of course.”

You grabbed your pack from the floor in the ballroom and he took the rolls of paintings leaning against the wall, the two of you rushing to leave the old castle behind. 

And, with the awkward quiet that settled between you as you journeyed back to his home, both of you unable to meet the other’s eye…

It was a long walk, indeed.

--------------------

Masterlist | Previous | Next

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! Hope you’re doing well, I’m sorry I haven’t responded to that last question of mine you answered but I absolutely loved it! Your answers are always super insightful. Today though I want to ask about another scene that I believe has big Killugon implications, but I have yet to see a single person really cover so far. I noticed it as I was re-reading the manga and instantly I knew something was up (oh and apologies in advance for the image quality but I had to take them off of my physical manga copies with my phone lol):

Now for context this scene takes place in the direct lead up to the palace invasion, which each character having a short inner monologue about how they feel in the lead up to the fight. In the case of Shoot he chooses to focus on Killua and how he has changed since they’re fight, noting how Killua look very sad every “once in a while”.

Now when I first got to this panel I was a little caught off guard as I feel most readers would be, the reason being that prior to this scene we haven’t had any indication that Killua was sad at all. After all this is post-needle Killua after his big emotional fight with a Rammot, he hadn’t shown any signs of further sadness since then and, as Shoot says, was a lot more confident in himself and his abilities. So why would Togashi deliberately choose to draw attention to Killua’s feelings this way, and why now when there was no prior indication that he was feeling bad at all?

Well, I think the reason lies in a pair of scenes that happen prior to this revelation by Shoot, the first of which is this:

Again, this is in the lead up to the palace invasion where the gang is working out their final plan of attack, while Palm is already enacting her part of the plan in the palace by herself.

Now this scene is interesting to me for a few reasons:

1. Togashi is using all this space (almost two and a half pages of it) to convey to make it clear to us how worried Gon obviously is about Palm since there’s a high chance she could die or already has at this point.

2. Togashi chose Killua specifically to be the one to explain this part of the plan to Gon, even when the more obvious choice would have been Knuckle or Shoot since they were with Morel and Knov when the plan was first made.

3. Killua is very clearly annoyed/dismissive/generally just put off by Gon’s worry about Palm, and is so harsh to Gon in the way he handles it that BOTH Knuckle and Meleoron call him out on it. Clearly there’s something more going on with Killua that Togashi wishes to highlight here, to the point where a scene about Gon’s feelings and worries about Palm quickly turns into a scene about KILLUA’S feelings about Gon’s feelings and worries about Palm!

But that’s not all! There’s also this science which takes place directly before we get Shoot’s reflection on Killua’s feelings:

Again we see Gon ask about Palm the second he has the opportunity and is once more clearly upset by the fact that there is still no word from her.

So why do I bring these two scenes up? Well because when Shoot says that “once in a while” he sees Killua get very sad, we as readers have to then ask the question of when he would have the opportunity to be around Killua enough to gauge his emotions this way, as prior to this the gang has been very much speedster from one another for awhile.

In fact, some of the only scenes we see Killua and Shoot even in the same location are both instances where Gon asks about Palm, which would logically imply that it was some point during those interactions where Shoot came to this conclusion about Killua’s feelings. And considering how Killua’s reaction to Gon’s worries about Palm, it only makes sense that this is what Shoot saw. Killua getting visibly sad when Gon shows concern for Palm.

So essentially, I believe that what Togashi was trying to get the reader to understand in this scene was something like this: shoot comments on how sad Killua is. “Sad? Why would he be sad?” The reader thinks, “he didn’t seem sad at all prior to this, what is he sad about?” They then think back to how annoyed Killua was when Gon was talking about Palm and think “well he must be sad about that then, but he’s never liked Palm, why would he be sad that Gon cares about… OH, maybe he’s just jealous!”

And THAT I think is the point of this scene, or at the very least to keep Killua’s sadness in the back of the reader’s mind for later where it’ll come to fruition.

Now, obviously anyone who knows the story knows that Killua has his big emotional scene with Palm where he confesses that he thinks Gon cares more about her than him, and how heartbreaking that is for him to feel. When you first read that though it may seem to come a little bit out of nowhere and a bit delusional on Killua’s part if you take it on it’s own. However, in the context of this scene with shoot and Gon’s earlier vocal worry about Palm, it all starts to make sense. Killua sees this play out and gets jealous because he thinks Gon cares more about Palm, whom Killua still would think is Gon’s romantic partner because Gon never showed interest to him in stopping his date with her and they never officially called off their “relationship”. So to Killua Palm means more to Gon because she’s romantically involved with him (in his eyes) and he gets sad and… well… jealous honestly whenever he’s reminded of that fact. I don’t really see any other way to explain why Killua would think Palm is more important to Gon than him keeping the context of these scenes in mind.

It also doesn’t help that Gon basically confirmed it by pushing Killua away after he expressed so much outward worry for Palm so yeah. Oof. It makes sense why Killua thinks the way he does and this whole scene is Togashi hinting at that early on. That’s why he orders these scenes the way he does and why he brings Killua’s feelings to light there for the reader to notice.

But honestly what REALLY got to me about this scene, and what inspired me to write this whole long ass ramble on the first place, was one key detail. Togashi chose an objective character like Shoot (who’s about as objective as objective can be in this situation) to clearly highlight Killua’s deeper feelings for the reader in a way Killua himself can’t.

Sound familiar? Well it should because there is one other VERY important scene where Togashi does the exact same thing, and it happens a bit later on:

(I had to cut out the first page for the sake of image number limits, but we both know what scene this is lol)

Isn’t it funny that Togashi would parallel Shoot’s revelations about Killua’s feelings here in the most romantically coded scene in the entire manga, with an equally objective character in Meleoron pointing out the same thing?

It’s hard to articulate this part but I hope you see what I’m getting at here.

It’s a very curious choice by Togashi indeed, to frame those hidden feelings that Meleoron sees explicitly around romantically love, and parallel that with Shoot’s earlier revelation about Killua being very sad even prior to Gon pushing him away… very curious indeed.

Anyway, wow this went on for longer than I thought but I needed to get this out of my head. If you have any insight I’d love to hear about it because I haven’t heard anyone talk about this scene and I need to know I’m not just crazy with what I see lol. To me, it’s just another case of that subtle, genius storytelling g by Togashi, but let me know what you think. Thanks!

Wow, this is a wonderful piece of meta, thank you so much for writing it all up and submitting it to me!! I had noticed/considered how snappy Killua gets to Gon when Gon is worrying over Palm, but this is a very carefully considered argument that the jealousy over Palm is an important part of Killua's sadness and uncertainty about his place in Gon's life going into the palace invasion. I had mostly read Killua's sadness here as Gon being distant prior and Killua picking up on that, Killua just generally being worried about the outcome, plus being hurt that Gon wants to fight Pitou on his own. I think those are all factors, too, but it's true that Killua is very focused and worried specifically about whether Gon considers him just a teammate or a friend.

I've always thought this whole dilemma comes off as "odd" in the sense that it wasn't long ago that Gon openly stated that Killua is his best friend in the whole world, under no uncertain terms. Why would Killua doubt his friendship with Gon? Plus there's the whole theme of not having to "qualify" to be a friend (an attitude towards friendship that Killua later passes on to Ikalgo). It's worth noting he's worrying about this prior to Gon's breakdown in front of Pitou and the "It's none of your business" (essentially) line that breaks Killua's heart. This happens just a bit before they confront Pitou.

I'm having a hard time explaining this because it's more of a feeling I have about this scene than something I can concretely prove, but I feel like from a purely friendship standpoint, it's strange for Killua to be so fixated on whether they're friends or not when Gon has stated his friendship with Killua over and over again. Even if Gon has been more distant and insists on fighting Pitou alone (which is definitely part of the problem here), it's not as though there's some clear reason presented that shows Killua has been demoted and Gon no longer considers him a friend.

EXCEPT...Killua is so devoted to Gon that he has it in his mind that he and Gon might do a lovers' suicide if worst comes to worst. If Gon cares more about Palm than him, where does that put him? This whole struggle Killua is having of friendship vs teammates makes so much more sense when you consider Killua having romantic feelings for Gon, whether or not he's aware that that's what they are. And it especially makes sense tying in with the argument you're making, that the whole situation with Palm is a big piece of what's bothering and hurting Killua and causing him to doubt his standing with Gon. It is also a logical build up between the date with Palm and the ultimate climax of this subplot, where Palm assures Killua that he's the one means the most to Gon, and the only one who has any hope of saving him.

I think this whole friendship vs teammate thing is Togashi code for what Killua is really struggling with, which is the strong romantic feelings he has for Gon and his concern that they're not requited. Of course it's improbable Jump would allow Togashi to state this outright so of course he has to frame it differently, but as usual he makes it clear what he's really saying in a number of ways for those of us who look into it deeply, while also not alienating readers who aren't interested in viewing it in that light.

What you're pointing out here makes this whole subplot more clear and understandable, and also further cements the romantic reading of Killua in Chimera Ant Arc--bravo for pointing it out! I think you're totally right on your reading of this, it ties so much together, and it seems like carefully laid puzzle pieces all arranged in a meaningful order.

This is why I love discussing HxH with people--even after all the times I've watched and read the series, all the meta I've read through the years, there's always some new way to see things or something I hadn't considered yet. Togashi is truly a genius storyteller, and it's an absolute blast pulling apart his writing because it's so rich and filled with intention. Even tiny scenes and little snippets of dialogue that don't seem that important in the big picture can have so much meaning once you make connections like this.

Thanks again for sending this in, it was enlightening to me and I'm sure it will be for lots of other people as well! Feel free to send more observations any time!

[larz-barz]

The Brightest Star in the Night Sky

Chapter 1

“Stop it!!! Leave Nezuko alone!!!” Tanjiro yelled, struggling in the serpent hashira’s grasp as the wind hashira stabbed his katana through the wooden box containing Tanjiro’s demonic younger sister.

Everyone’s went wide when a small form knocked Sanemi away from Nezuko. “Shinazugawa-sama, you’re being quite rude… You haven’t even given all of us, or Oyakata-sama, a chance to speak on the matter…” A young girl with long, light purple and blonde hair spoke in a soft, soothing voice. Her piercing, purple and blue heterochromatic eyes held unreadable emotions. A pair of soft cat ears sat atop her head, as well the boy who moved to stand next to her.

“My sister is right, Shinazugawa-sama. At least wait before making such a harsh gesture towards the Kamados.” The boy spoke in a similar tone as his sister as the twins gazed down at the dumbfounded wind hashira.

Soon after, each hashira bowed down in respect towards the young children who came out to announce the arrival of their father, Oyakata-sama.

As Tanjiro rested in the butterfly mansion, he couldn’t help but think about the twin hashiras who had so boldly protected Nezuko. ‘I’ll have to thank them if I see them again..’ He thought as he gazed up at the ceiling with a small, content smile grazing his lips.

His attention was soon turned towards the door of his room when a soft knock sounded from the other side. He smiled as he carefully moved to sit himself up. “Come in!”

The door slid open to reveal the girl who he felt he owed the most gratitude for. “H-how are you feeling..?” Her soft voice slightly broke which immediately caught Tanjiro’s attention. He sniffed the air to check for any signs of sadness or discomfort from the girl.

The air held the scent of mostly anxiety and fear. ‘Hmm.. I wonder why she’s so scared?’ He thought to himself before realizing he hadn’t answered her yet. “Oh-! I’m alright! Thank you so much for protecting Nezuko!” The neko raised her hands and slightly waved them, her mask concealed the nervous smile on her lips. “I-it was nothing, really..! I-I’m Mikitama Suzuki by the way…” He looked at her with a soft smile as she moved to sit in the chair by his bed, finding her personality to be very endearing and adorable.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mikitama-sama! I’m Tanjiro Kamado!” Her anxious demeanor seemed to relax slightly due to Tanjiro’s sunny personality but then he became concerned when he detected pain in her practically unreadable eyes. “Hey, uhm.. What’s wrong?” He asked with pure concern in his kind eyes.

The small girl’s shoulders tensed as her eyes went to the floor. She slowly shook her head as she started to absently play with her claws. “I-it’s nothing, don’t worry about it, Tanjiro-san…” She murmured softly and Tanjiro’s worried frown deepened. “Don’t lie, Mikitama-sama. Did something happen after the meeting?”

Tanjiro’s concern for Mikitama only increased when a hesitant nod came from her. He moved so he could better see her face. “You can tell me… I promise.” He knew she probably wouldn’t want to put her complete trust in him since they just officially met only a few minutes prior, but he felt he needed to know if she was unsafe or anything like that.

A soft sigh came from the masked neko’s lips as her ears slightly went down. Tanjiro’s eyes stayed trained on Mikitama as he prepared to listen to whatever she had to say. “U-uhm… After everyone else had left already, including my brothers, Shinazugawa-sama… wasn’t happy… He uhm… hurt me pretty badly…” Anger boiled up within Tanjiro, all he could think about was how someone could be so cruel that they’d attack a young girl like Mikitama.

Tanjiro took a moment to register what she’d said next. “I’m used to it though so.. It’s not a big deal…” His eyes widened when he realized what she’d said. “Wait.. You’re used to it??” He frowns more when her eyes widen and she quickly shakes her head.

‘She’s clearly been through quite a bit… I don’t want to push her to tell me anything.’ A sympathetic expression took over his face and he gently pat her head. “It’s okay, I’ll take care of Shinazugawa-sama so you won’t have to worry about him anymore.” His eyes held a glint of determination to protect his new friend.

Mikitama’s eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope. “Y-you will..? Thank you, Tanjiro-san.. I-I really appreciate it…” Tanjiro flashed her a smile that firmly cemented his confidence that Mikitama would always be safe with him.

‘No one will ever hurt her again. Not if I have anything to say about it.’

~the end~

Aaaahhh sorry if this suckeddd-

[starplusfourletters]

(way too many) thoughts on the ahsoka show

It was fine? I was really afraid there would be something I hated. And there was nothing I hated. Sad but true that that’s the bar for new SW material atm.

I really liked ep5; ep5 will probably get a rewatch. I liked the casting. The visuals were pretty cool. Huyang was a treasure.

So we’re really going with “the Force is in everyone so everyone can use the Force if you just try hard enough”? I… kind of hate that. That somehow feels ableist of me to say. But this is a heckin fantasy universe I feel like some people Really Are That Special, y’know?

Exception that proves the rule: A Force-less Sabine is still VERY SPECIAL. In Rebels, she can hold her own in a fight just as much as Kanan or Ezra. She’s extremely competent without the Force. She’s somehow less competent in this show

She really is just the worst here in ways that I do not remember her being in Rebels. I guess arguably Ezra was the one with Terminal Protagonist Syndrome in that show? And she caught it from him before he left?

I feel like what this season WANTED to be about – and honestly it’s the lowest hanging fruit possible for a show titled “Ahsoka” – is the tension between Ahsoka’s past / her relationship with her master and her future / her relationship with her apprentice. But I don’t think they actually hit a balance there, because they just did not make her relationship with her apprentice very compelling. Three reasons for this:

1. My bias. There are very few things that start with “Ahsoka &” that would get my attention more than “Ahsoka & Anakin.” Feel like I’m not alone on that one tho

2. Established canon. It’s already an uphill battle because Ahsoka and Sabine don’t have much of a relationship in Rebels. I’m honestly not sure they ever have a conversation. I remember Sabine being like “wow she’s cool much cooler than my idiot adopted brother”, and maybe that would be a place for a mentor figure relationship to start, if Sabine weren’t already DROWNING in mentor figures. It’s not that they have nothing in common, they are just straight up not a focal point of Rebels S2.

Hey you know who canonically has latent Force abilities? And maybe needs some training? And whom Ahsoka would have a Complicated feeling about without even needing a prior established relationship? Someone with mutually incompatible daddy issues? Someone deep enough in the cultural zeitgeist she literally would need no introduction?

Yes I KNOW it’s never gonna be canon and I should just go back to AO3 but it’s RIGHT THERE HRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

3. But a lot of the issues with Ahsoka & Sabine as a focal point are of the showmakers’ own creation. You’re telling me they have a relationship now? Fine, CONVINCE me of that:

First they shoot themselves in the foot by not giving us any information about how Sabine became Ahsoka’s apprentice originally. Why did Sabine want to become a Jedi when she didn’t want that in Rebels? DID she want to become a Jedi? What did she want to learn from Ahsoka? Why did Ahsoka decide to take an apprentice at that time and not any time before or after? How did she feel about it? And why pick Sabine, who is, and this is true, Not Very Good at the Force? Who approached whom, or did they run into each other accidentally? I suppose answering some of these questions might require answering “where was Ahsoka between 3 BBY and 4 ABY?” and they aren’t ready to do that yet, but guys. GUYS. If you’re trying to tell me how Ahsoka and Sabine fix their relationship, you gotta tell me why I care first.

I know I'm harping but I really cannot emphasize enough that "fuck it I'm gonna go round two on Found Family" is an arc-defining character beat for both Ahsoka AND Sabine and the fact that the audience doesn't get to see it really makes me question whether the powers that be themselves know what it looks like

Then we get vanishingly little information about why they broke up, and all of it is provided by Huyang. And what I’m picking up from what we have is “Sabine got too Revenge Quest-y, and Ahsoka got nervous.” I don’t even know where to begin here – maybe with the fact that if Sabine decided to go on a murder rampage, she wouldn’t need the Force, lol. We know Sabine’s family died, she wanted to go to Mandalore, and Ahsoka didn’t want her to. So… did Sabine go? How did she end up back on Lothal? Who left who? Was Ahsoka worried for Sabine’s safety, or that she was getting too Dark Side-y, or both? What juicy terrible intergenerational-trauma-driven things did they say to each other when they broke up? I want to compare and contrast this with Ahsoka leaving Anakin, but I do not have the information to do so because there are zero details and the info we DO have is from ANOTHER CHARACTER. Again, if this season is about this relationship, TELL ME WHY I CARE.

To me this is the same cardinal sin as Picard S1 – implying that some really interesting stuff happened when the audience wasn’t watching, and that it explains why the characters are behaving the way they are, and then… not disclosing that information. EXCEPT PICARD GAVE US MORE THAN THIS fjdghjfghjkhkd

I was not on Tumblr when I was watching Picard S1. Probably for the best.

But okay, they have a history, the show is gonna be about them, sure let’s move on. AND THEN THEY SPEND LIKE HALF THE EPISODES NOT EVEN IN THE SAME GALAXY. The time they do spend in the same room is 75% generic sniping. As someone who came into this way more invested in the Ahsoka & Anakin relationship, ep5 was very much NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART

And the couple of beats they do have together have me going HUH? After ep2 I spent most of a day debating myself on whether there’s a missing scene, between Sabine getting stabbed and waking up in the hospital, where we see Ahsoka actually REACT. On one hand, Ahsoka would be upset, maybe we as the audience can fill in the gaps and we don’t need to spend time on it. On the other hand, maybe we do, tho? At the time I was thinking about how we haven’t seen Ahsoka truly emotionally vulnerable since TCW with the exception of “Shroud of Darkness” and maybe “Twilight of the Apprentice.” She has a very normal range of emotions, and she expresses them in very controlled ways, and I just wanna see what she looks like when that breaks down, ya know? What’s weird to me is that in ep4 when Ahsoka thinks Sabine is dead we do get this beat; she gets Real Mad there for a second. So maybe what we’re learning is it was a double beat and they should have cut the stabbing thing entirely I mean come on they had to have known they were gonna catch flack for that. Then again, having that moment shows the audience that Ahsoka does give a shit, more than she wants to admit and more than she typically shows Sabine, which is a fun compare/contrast with Anakin, and it might have given me a better understanding of the relationship if it had come earlier.

The other big beat is Sabine deciding to help the baddies. That is just such a devastatingly terrible decision. So bad, in fact, that I feel like we’re supposed to be drawing parallels to Anakin. Their whole “screw over the galaxy to save one person” thing. Except 1) Sabine is not Anakin and 2) in order for that to be interesting, Ahsoka needs more information than I think she has. She knows Padme died around the same time Anakin totally lost his shit, and that’s about it. Which is actually a fun little thought experiment: what assumptions does Ahsoka make about the causality there? The only people who could have given her more intel are Palpatine, Obi-Wan, and Vader – unlikely. So IF the show is about the lines between Anakin and Ahsoka and Sabine, Sabine’s choice here could be central to that, and crucially to Ahsoka’s understanding of that, except it’s just for the audience I guess?

I do really like that Ahsoka’s extremely chill about what Sabine did, though. Ahsoka “Eh Shit Happens” Tano. Somehow her lesson from all this is “masters support their apprentices literally no matter what. Citation: Mine did.” That’s an unhinged take and I expect nothing less from my blorbo.

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN A FLASHBACK TO THE SITUATION IN WHICH AHSOKA DIDN’T SUPPORT SABINE HRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I realize that I’m really tearing into this thing pretty much just for not being something it isn’t. Like, it’s not BAD. But maybe its weaknesses stem from not committing to being about any one thing. It’s kind of about intergenerational trauma, it’s kind of a Rebels Part Two, it’s kind of a Filoniverse installment, it’s kind of a worldbuilding exercise. And that’s not necessarily too much material for an 8-hour show. It’s more like the powers that be DECIDED that was too much material.

TLDR, footage of me after pretty much everything star wars that’s come out since the Disney acquisition:

[fyeahbachisagi]

Blue Lock anime on BachiSagi + How the anime ended up redefining Bachira’s ego in Episode 22

I’ve been thinking a lot about how the anime removed Bachira’s iconic gay line in Episode 22. After the initial anger, I’ve calmed down and thought about how it couldn’t be as simple as removing the gay. After all, Studio 8Bit has been adding extra gay in the First Selection arc. The Come Steal Me scene was also gayer than in the manga. And although Isagi’s feelings for Bachira were toned down in the first cour, they’ve also been emphasizing it in the second cour (example).

I then noticed a pattern. The Blue Lock anime is playing with contrast in portraying Bachira and Isagi’s relationship.

Prior to Bachira’s awakening, we see his feelings for Isagi emphasized a lot. The anime would even add scenes that weren’t there in the manga. It could be a very minor thing like 2 seconds of Bachira staring at Isagi, or a big thing like replacing Igaguri in his interactions with Isagi (example 1, example 2).

The same is true for Isagi’s feelings for Bachira, but in reverse. Prior to the Come Steal Me scene, the anime removed some of Isagi’s minor interactions with Bachira.

I’m no animator, so I don’t really understand the purpose of this approach. Perhaps 8Bit thought that by increasing the contrast of their feelings before and after emotional turning points would make it more obvious to the viewer?

The Come Steal Me scene is a clear emotional turning point for Isagi. It’s basically Isagi thinking, “Shit, I love him.”

I remember how caught off guard I was when I reading that part in the manga when Isagi said “I felt like I just lost something important…” I had to go back some chapters to find “proof” of Isagi’s feelings. [I don’t know how it is for people who first experienced that scene through the anime, though. Please tell me your thoughts in this poll. Not putting the poll in this post coz then I won’t be able to edit this later…]

Isagi’s feelings are very subtle, so the anime removing what was already barely there just felt like a disservice. And although they’ve been kinda making up for it by executing all the Isagi-to-Bachira moments after this very well, it doesn’t feel enough.

Now, for Bachira… This is difficult because his emotional turning point isn’t as clear-cut as Isagi’s. The anime, however, decided on this scene:

And I absolutely hate this decision.

Because in the manga, the lines were actually a declaration of what exactly Bachira’s voice/ego is. And that ego is: “I’ll win if it kills me and take back Isagi!”

They even cropped out Isagi’s face in the anime to make it solely about Bachira...

This was such a big BachiSagi moment. Bachira is explicitly telling us here that he will win so he can stay by Isagi’s side. And it’s not exactly him striving just for Isagi, either. It’s more like a reference to Isagi’s words to Reo before: “Don’t be the one who gets chosen. Be the one who gets to choose.”

And before this scene in the anime, they even added this part:

Bachira reaching out for Isagi, but only to draw it back...

Such a big disservice there… Bachira’s awakening was complex. He’s saying goodbye to Isagi not only because he wants to be strong enough to stay in Blue Lock, but also because he wants to keep him, even if they can no longer be friends. In a way, it’s a self-sacrificial act. Literally, “I don’t care if I’ll be sad as long as I can stay by his side!”

Adding that underwater hand thing on top of the changed lines turned Bachira’s awakening arc from being deeply rooted in love to one of mere individuality. The anime has completely missed the point...

There are 2 more episodes left, and the next one has another crucial BachiSagi moment. Let’s see how 8Bit wraps up their relationship before I give my final verdict.

[strwbrrybxn]

Rock Lee, canon verse, prompt 39: “Stay by my side. It doesn’t have to be forever, even if it’s just for now.” 

Thank you! 💜

I'm so sorry this took so long 😭 thank you @nightingaleflow for the request though and I hope you enjoy it ♡

For Now ; word count 2.2k

✓ Prompt: “Stay by my side. It doesn’t have to be forever, even if it’s just for now.”

✓ pairing: rock lee × fem!reader

✓ warnings: cunnilingus, anilingus (i’m convinced lee eats ass), fellatio, mutual pining, fear of loss, the night prior to leaving for the fourth great ninja war, angst(ish), kinda fluffy, lack of an orgasm (sorry lee, you don’t get to cum)

✓ genre: nsfw, angst

✓ au: canonverse

a/n: also, sorry there's barely a date but i really just wanted to give lee the smuttiest night before war he could have; also did my best to proofread but there might still be mistakes

You heard someone calling your name over and over, a familiar voice - a voice you had fallen very much in love with. 

“Wait for me!” He shouted, and you could hear the rumble of his feet as he had gotten closer. Rock Lee was definitely someone you never thought you’d ever meet in person. You had seen Gai around, often running around with his students in tow and Lee always catching your eye. When he had run into you (quite literally) one day, you couldn’t stop yourself from sputtering around him like an idiot, but he just found it endearing, finding you absolutely adorable.

Gai encouraged him to spend time with you when he wasn’t training, especially since the announcement of another Great War. 

“y/n!” He had finally caught up to you, that beautiful smile on his face. You’d never get over the fact that you, a mere civilian of the Konoha, managed to garner this man’s attention. “Are you heading to the market?” 

“I am.” You gripped the bag in your hands, looking up at the taller male in front of you. 

“May I accompany you?”

“Only if you tell me about your day on the way.” Lee’s smile was your favorite smile. It’s always made you feel fuzzy inside you. He offered you his elbow to loop your arm inside, and he must have been used to the stares he got frequently because everyone’s eyes were on you and he just continued telling about the recent mission he’d been on and his time before Gai left with Naruto on the ship. He didn’t stop talking until you both were standing in front of your doorstep. 

It wasn’t like Lee to stay quiet, twiddling his thumbs as you pushed your door open and your head tilted to the side as you looked him over curiously. 

“Aren’t you coming inside?” When he finally looked up from the floor, Lee’s eyes were… sad. It was something you weren’t used to. 

“y/n.” his words were quiet, uncharacteristic. “I’m leaving soon… a few days…”

“Wha- already?”

“Can we meet tonight?” 

You nodded before you could even think twice about it; the smile on Lee’s when you said yes was more than enough reassurance that you made the right choice.

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous to spend time with Lee. Maybe it was because you could almost feel your excitement seeping out of your bones. Was this a date? You’d probably consider it a date with the way his eyes shone when you said yes to him, and with the way he’s looking at you now. And especially considering he didn’t wear that green jumpsuit to dinner. He had finished his entire meal pretty quickly after you had started, a rush in his movements like you’d never seen before.

“De-dessert?” Your cheeks burned as you stood up, clearing the plates and drinks from the table and carrying them to the sink. You were just starting to do the dishes when you heard Lee whisper your name once more and as you tilted your head, you were surprised by the look in his eyes. When did he get so close? 

He managed to cage you against the counter in your kitchen, both his hands on the counter on either side of you. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered, breath fanning against your lips. You weren’t sure when you nodded or when his face had dipped down, but now your lips were molding together slowly while a subconscious sigh left your lips at the press of his. You tested your hands on his arms, head tilting to welcome more; lips parting immediately and body reacting to him on instinct.

He deepened the kiss, his hand tracing up your spine and cupping the back of your neck. His tongue licked at your bottom lip and waited for permission. Lee didn't want to give you even a second to think about what had happened; he wanted to be able to invade all of your thoughts and let you relax. You closed your mouth around his tongue like a reflex, humming happily as you sucked on the muscle. Just having something in your mouth instantly eased some of the tension in your shoulders and you began to relax, pressing into him.

His free arm hooked around your middle and lifted you onto the counter, keeping the kiss intact as he rolled your tongues together. You fumbled for his shirt, grasping the hem and tugging with a whine against his lips. He pulled back just enough to tug off his shirt before molding your lips together again. He didn't push you to do anything, letting you lead where this would go as he deepened the kiss further.

The moment the fabric was removed, your hands were all over him. He was beautifully muscular, and you loved running your hands over every dip and swell of his back and tracing the ridges of his abdomen. So that was exactly what you did, sliding your hands over his torso as if mapping every hill and valley of muscle and skin. It took a very long time before you broke the kiss, panting and pupils blown. "Let's go to bed, please," you whispered, palming his pecs.

He nodded, scooping you up into his arms as he carried you. His lips found purchase on your neck as his feet moved, nibbling on the skin and leaving dark hickies along your skin. Once they were finally in your room, Lee dropped you onto the bed. "Let's get you undressed, yeah?"

His lips on your neck made you moan and your pussy throbbed with need. Once on your bed, you nodded and looked up at him with puppy eyes. "Rip it off me."

He groaned, unable to deny you anything when you looked at him like that. He gripped the collar of your shirt, shredding the fabric in half before tearing off your pants as well. He wasn't going to rip off your underwear though. "Look at you." 

You moaned as you were undressed forcefully, your body warming with arousal at his display of raw strength. Lee picked you up, flipping you onto your hands and knees atop the mattress. He grinned at the soaked spot on your panties, his thumb brushing over your clothed cunt. "Keep your ass up and lay your face into the mattress, baby. Let me take care of you."

You blushed, a quiet whine leaving your lips at the touch to your soaked core. Still, you did as instructed, lowering your face to the mattress and wiggling your raised butt at him. "Like this, sir?"

"Just like that," he smiled, leaving forward to bite down on your cheek. He thumbed your clothed clit, licking at the bite before tugging your panties to the side and pushing his finger inside your soaked core. "All wet like this just for me, darling?"

You nodded eagerly into the mattress, moaning as he touched you where you needed him most. "Just for you, sir," you breathed, clenching around his digit in a silent plea for more.

"Just for me." His tongue traced the rim of your asshole, curling his finger inside her. Lee was going to make sure your mind was blank by the time the morning came.

You couldn't help the way your hips pushed back, whorish moans leaving your lips. "Lee~" you groaned, your rim fluttering beneath his tongue. He pushed his tongue inside you, slipping another finger inside your pussy. He thrusted them unevenly, gripping your hip to hold you in place and moaning against your body.

"O-Oh, fuck," you gasped, reaching back to fist a hand in his hair, pushing down on his head to encourage him.

He moaned at the fist in his hair, pushing his tongue further into your ass. He thumbed your clit in circles, his fingers curling and scissoring alternatively. Your hips rocked back greedily, moans tumbling from your lips incessantly. You could feel your thoughts slipping away, Lee left in their wake.

He pulled his tongue out of you, biting down on your cheek once more as he broke his promise and ripped your lace panties in half. "Are you ready, darling? I don't know if I can wait much longer."

You nodded against the mattress with a needy whine. "Please, sir, I need you so bad."

Lee shrugged off his pants and briefs, gripping the base of his swollen cock and slapping the tip against your entrance. "So bad? Were you missing me, darling?" As he spoke, he inched his way inside you until he bottomed out, sighing at the warmth and tightness of your cunt.

"Y-Yes, I- Mmnnh!" you were cut off by a moan, eyes rolling back as you stretched around him. It was exactly what you needed, all thoughts turning to static other than your need for Lee. He grunted, gripping your hips tighter than earlier to leave bruises. He pulled you into his thrusts, thrusting as deep as he could to keep his pace rough, and all you could do was groan in reply, squeezing him in encouragement. You reached back, feeling around blindly until you found his wrist and held on tightly, tugging lightly as if to further pull herself into his thrusts. 

"Gonna cum," you gasped, your stomach tight and your walls clamping down on his length.

"Already?" He hummed, pulling his hips back and snapping back in just as quick. "Cum for me."

"Fuck, Lee!" you cried out, cumming hard. Your grip on him slackened slightly from the force of it, your vision flashing bright white.

"That's my girl," he whispered, helping ride out your orgasm and snapping his hips. "Just like that."

"Sir," you gasped, breathless from the force of your climax. "Let me kiss you... please."

Lee maneuvered you around and onto your back without pulling out, hovering over you and brushing your lips together. "Kiss me, then." 

You cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down forcefully. you kissed him hungrily, needily. You didn't even notice that at some point you had started crying. Lee could taste the saltiness against your lips, hips slowing down and hands coming up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away as he kissed you back.

You didn't break the kiss until your lungs started to burn, and you immediately hid in his neck, sniffling softly. Lee held onto you, kissing your head as he slowly rocked you back and forth in place. After a moment, you pulled back to look at him, no longer crying but still pouty, your cheeks tearstained. "Do you… have to go?"

The pouted look on your face and him being balls deep inside you made him want to coo at you for asking that, but he knew it'd be a little rude to do that. This was a serious moment, and a serious question at that. "I'm sorry."

His answer made you frown and you ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly, toying with the ends of it. "I just– this isn’t fair."

He nosed against your jaw, humming softly. "What’s not fair?"

"You. You-You being here, touching me and making me feel amazing only to leave me in the morning,” you said curtly, an edge creeping into your voice.

He sighed quietly. "I am sorry." You closed your eyes with a defeated sigh, absentmindedly tracing patterns on his back. “I know. You keep saying that.” You didn't sound angry, just a tad hurt. Lee didn't deserve your anger, this wasn't his fault.

The taijutsu ninja knew he wasn’t making it any better by admitting he had to leave and repeatedly apologizing, but he couldn’t help it. Your eyes were wide and watery, and he didn’t want to see you so heartbroken anymore. He sighed, leaning his body into yours more. 

“What can I do to make you feel better?” All you could do was shake your head, your bottom lip trembling ever so slightly as you clung to the man on top of you. He gave your hips a light squeeze as your fingers gave Lee’s hair a light tug.

It broke his heart to see the woman he had learned to love and care for; that he spent all those days accompanying to the market and walking around the village under the stars when you couldn’t sleep - so close to breaking down. He didn’t want to see you so upset, but you were the reason he was going to fight so hard and protect the village. He was going to protect you.

You gave him an apologetic smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Stay by my side. It doesn’t have to be forever, even if it’s just for now.”

“I’ll never leave your side once this war is over. I will stay with you until you kick me out,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours lightly. "I promise."

tags: @anxiouslittlesunbeam, @dreamcastgirl99, @justmyownreality, @delirious-donna, @usagiii3, @hashira-mal, @sixtymillionoverdueideas, @nnandmm-archived-hard, @dahlias-love, @penguinmilo

taglist is here!

[thistuesdaynight]

Invincible Part 2

prongsfoot microfic

Read part 1 here! There's gonna be two more parts to this with a smutty prongsfoot ending 🫣 Enjoy!

(light angst, unrequited wolfstar)

Sirius brought fingers to his lips.

They were still tingling from the memory of his kiss with James. His heart was still pounding, his breath still coming short, and he wanted nothing more than to dive back in to James and kiss him senseless.

But he couldn't stop thinking about the look on Remus' face. The abject disbelief, the betrayal, and confusion. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. He had to go after him, he had to--

"What just happened?" James murmured. He was a vision: hair messier than usual, lips still glossy and swollen.

"Remus--" Sirius didn't know what to say. "I have to go talk to him. He… we…"

James had been looking at him with concern, but now his face went blank. "Oh. Okay." The words were short. Sharp. Zapped of emotion.

"I should go," James said, voice raspy and strained as he got to his feet.

"James," Sirius pleaded, desperate. "Wait."

"I clearly misread…" James shook his head, turning to walk away.

Sirius caught his wrist. "Please let me explain."

It wasn't that Sirius and Remus had been dating. They weren't even really an item. Sirius just enjoyed flirting with him. He would say something a little raunchy, and Remus' whole face would go red. What could Sirius say? He liked to make the man blush.

They'd been dancing around each other for weeks, trading winks and lingering glances. Sirius liked to brush past him, a hand on Remus' lower back as he went by. "Pardon," he'd whisper in the other man's ear, and Remus would shiver and Sirius got a ridiculous thrill out of it.

He could like Remus. He could even love Remus if he really tried, but…

"James it's nothing. We were… It was just a little flirting, but that's it. I swear."

James looked back at Sirius, eyes shuttered.

"Is that what you're going to say about us, too?" He gestured to the spot on the floor where they had just been a minute prior, bodies flush, legs entwined, panting into each other's mouths. Sirius felt his face go hot. "Tomorrow are you going to say that was nothing? It was just a kiss?"

"No! No, James. Things with Remus are just… different."

Sirius couldn't even begin to explain how it had felt to have James pressed against him, melting under his touch. He still couldn't get James' moans out of his head. And he didn't want to. He and James had been a long time coming: a rubber band stretched too tight, and Sirius had been too afraid to get hurt.

James rubbed a hand down his face. He looked tired now, the drunken hilarity fizzing out to a sunken sadness. "You were right. We're too drunk for this. You wouldn't have let me kiss you if we were sober."

"James," Sirius grabbed his shoulders. "I want you. And it has nothing to do with how much I had to drink tonight."

He'd wanted James Potter for as long as he could remember. In fact the idea of not wanting James was absurd. He'd take him anyway he could have him.

Sirius had always thought that it would be easier if he and James just stayed friends. They were already such an explosive pair, and the flirtationship he had with Remus was fine. Why rock the boat?

Why risk two friendships, when everything was fine?

But now that they'd kissed… Now that Sirius had tasted him… He wasn't sure he could go back.

"What about Remus?" James asked in a small voice, not looking up.

"I need to talk to him."

"Do you want him?" James met his gaze, eyes gleaming, like he was begging for something, but Sirius didn't know what.

"I don't know," he whispered, scrubbing a hand roughly down his face. "I... I don't know."

And it was true. He didn't know what to say to Remus, he didn't know what choice he was supposed to make, and he didn't know if he was ready for the intensity of what it meant to be with James.

They got on like a house on fire, and if they entered into a relationship… Sirius was sure they'd both burn alive. His head was swimming.

"Right," James nodded jerkily, pulling away.

"James…"

"Goodnight, Sirius. I hope you figure it out."

Read part 3 here!

[pocket-vvardvark]

Angelica teases Alethia about her crushes 😭

Tell her sister to stop bullying her pls.

It's a pretty day, the world is covered in white fluffy sheets of snow while the cardinals sing their song. Snowflakes cast down from the sky, gently succumbing to their fall on Alethia's boots. Her sister lies in the snow beside her, skipping a pebble on the only water left unclaimed by frost. 

Angelica was never good at skipping stones, and it's quite easy to tell as the pebble sinks pitifully to the bottom of the frozen lake. 

A smile makes its way to Alethia's lips regardless. The simplicity of the moment makes her relax. If only her life was always this simple, she thinks. Once the thought crosses her mind, she's already imagining how quaint it would have been. It annoys her. She would have preferred this life—a life of constantly being on the run, and fighting unimaginable dangers—simply to avoid her own thoughts. It's never good to be left alone with your mind for too long, her sister had always told her. She understands now, and feels a sudden wave of concern consume her. Glancing over to her sister, she didn't seem upset or depressed at all. Yet, it nags at the back of her mind. Angelica was a trickster and far, far too good at hiding what she really thought. 

Angelica lies there, eyes far out as she hums some silly song she heard at a tavern no doubt from days prior. Her forefingers skim the smooth surface of the pebble in her hand, and yet she hesitates to throw it. Another lurch in Alethia's belly. She, too, hesitates, even if it's for a completely different reason. 

Tucking her knees to her chest, Alethia swallows dry. 

"Angie." 

Angelica's head turns to face her sister, stormy eyes meeting blue. She smiles, but otherwise says nothing. It unnerves her, per usual. 

Alethia grunts, nudging her sister. "Say something when I call you. It freaks me out."

Knowingly, her sister's lips pull up further in a grin. 

"That's why I do it."

Alethia rolls her eyes, snorting. 

"Alright, alright. What's the matter, Al? Having trouble with your crushes? Who's it this time? Still the queen?" She relishes Alethia's flushed cheeks. 

"No!" Alethia huffs, trying to stop her blushing.

"Oh, come on! I bet one of those dashing men and women you work with caught your heart. Even momentarily?" She smiles, thinking with an impish grin. "Okay, how about...hm, I got a good long look at that count you worked with." She whistles, and it really doesn't help Alethia's flustered state.

Angelica scoffs, "Oh, please, he had a very nice ass." Her knee bounces idly as laughter fills the small space. 

Another groan, and Angelica rolls her eyes. "Alright, so what about Tharn?"

The world stops for a moment, and Alethia has to physically bite her cheeks to silence herself.

"Ooh, interesting reaction. Is it the power? Do you think he's any good in bed?"

"It was a moment of weakness." Alethia stutters out. 

"I bet that's what all sixteen of his wives said before having the most incredible se-"

"Angie, please." 

Angelica snorts, "Okay, I guess seasoned men are my thing, huh?"

That does pry a laugh from Alethia's lips, her shoulder gently bumping with her sister's.

"You like his son, don't you?"

Her laughter is momentarily silenced, overtaken by worry.

"Is that bad? Am I weird? Too pious, maybe? Or, maybe I'm just too sad and lonely for his tastes. Wait...maybe I smell weird to him, since he's a vampire a-"

The thoughts that tumble from her lips too eagerly end once she feels the warm embrace of her sister.

"Shh, it's okay. Alethia, you're the brightest star on Mundus. By Mara, no one could ever hate you. I know that." She pulls back, holding her sister's hands. "Please, Al, believe in yourself just this once." 

"I think that of you, too." 

Those words do not fall on deaf ears as Angelica's steel-colored eyes widen.

"I was thinking about you before. I was thinking about all the times you've comforted me, and yet I haven't done the same. I love you, Angie. You're the best big sister I could ever ask for."

A pin could be dropped in the snow, and Alethia swears she would be able to hear it with how silent her sister is. It seems that even the birds have quieted down.

A tender brush to her hair pulls Alethia from her doubts, paired with Angelica's smile. 

"I love you, too, Alethia. Just your presence is enough to brighten my day. You're the best little sister I could ever ask for." 

They smile and laugh, embracing once more.

She spies that impish grin again, "So, have you told him yet?"

"Mara, no!" Alethia laughs girlishly. 

"Well...coming from an experienced woman in matters of the heart." Alethia rolls her eyes as Angelica continues. 

"I think he likes you, too."

"Really?" 

A fond smile makes its way to Angelica's lips, splitting her self-doubt and fear of rejection into nothing but an after-thought.

"I do."