#it sucks bc the one person who will comfort me has a fuking gf and im interested in them a bit and ya Im distancing myself bc my heart just | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alatussy · 2 years ago

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Im trying to love myself I really am, I realize this whole time ive been putting up a front? When in actuality I hate myself deeper than I know. Im not very confident, I have low self esteem and im insecure. I dont like feeling like this. I want to believe I am worthy of love. I want to be able to tell myself I'm beautiful. But when I do try to say these things to myself why does it feel like a complete lie? I don't want to have to hear this from someone else. As much as I would revel in the feeling? I don't want to. I want to believe it myself. I want to believe that I deserve the love I seek I want to think I'm beautiful like everyone says but believing it is much harder than saying it. I can say it, sure. But I never believe myself. Its tiring

#You know I like being alon #alone** omg #but even so there are still times where I feel lonely #I never got why someone people would feel sad looking at other people being happy #I think now that im already in a vulnerable state I can finally see #I get it I guess #As someone who was fine not hving someone bc I enjoy time with myself anyway? I never understood it tbh I thought #people who got sad when looking at couples were annoying #I was already sad about something prior to this but it just caught me at my most sensitve #Hmm I also try to say just because someone has something that doesnt take away from what I have nd how unique I am #but like I said its hard #Its hard but im gonna try #it sucks bc the one person who will comfort me has a fuking gf and im interested in them a bit and ya Im distancing myself bc my heart just #cant bru I cant #shes always like I cant believe youre still single #well dattebayo bitch #Im insecure about my body more than my face actually #im a stick #Its more of a health thing bc I have problems eating #and I take pills for that so #but my brain would say that no one would go for someone so curveless nd shit and ik thats not true but idk #why would I be in a relationship when im like this? and she tells me that I shouldnt think that way bc the other person is there to grow #w me and no one will enter the relationship perfect but #idk idk

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