#I was actually hyped about this movie when it was first announced

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

So, here are my long thoughts on The Last Voyage of the Demeter because I'm jetlagged and trying to keep myself awake.

I'm going to organize it from my biggest issues to my smallest nitpicks. Because I am aware that some of the things that bother me are nitpicks. Also this movie is old enough that I don't think spoilers are out of line.

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

I don't think I can fairly judge the movie as an adaptation of Dracula. This would be a short review if that was my standard, because it is a bad adaptation. There's a laundry list of reasons why, and I'll get back to one of them because I think it is indicative of how this movie fumbled the story. It takes a very loose approach to the book, and that wouldn't be entirely fair to fixate on. But I will point out where I think the book executed a theme or tone element more effectively.

I fully went into the movie ready to judge it on its own merits as a self-contained horror story. That's why I was surprised that I disliked it so much, because it doesn't hold up as a piece of horror media. I think the core issue is that the screenplay fundamentally was thinking of itself as a movie about people fighting a monster.

In that respect, it does away with something that makes the Captain's log such an effective part of the original book: The mystery.

The original section is an exercise in dramatic irony. You, as the reader, have already seen the thing making the crew vanish, because you read Jonathan's diary and know what is in the boxes (even if you were reading it for the first time and didn't have the cultural osmosis of knowing who Dracula). You know why they are in danger. The captain doesn't. He spends most of the log trying to figure out what is going on and if it is misfortune or something really on board with them. He only sees Dracula at the very end of the log, when there is little he can do except tie himself to the wheel.

The book answers the question of "why don't they make port or throw the boxes overboard?" with saying that the captain doesn't know for sure if it is actually something malicious related to the cargo. The Romanian first mate has to slowly come to the realization that he does know, because he's resisting believing in superstition. Only when the knife passes through Dracula without harming him does he panic because it's undeniable that he's facing a folklore monster.

That build up is entirely absent from The Last Voyage of the Demeter. Anna just tells them within the first half hour of the movie (she's also a very inconsistent character, but I'll get back to that), and within days the crew has literally seen Dracula multiple times. People aren't mysteriously vanishing; they've been killed pretty clearly and there are survivors with bite marks. The deck is littered with body parts at points. It makes the voiceovers about "some doom" being on the ship seem comical, because the captain has seen with his own eyes what is going on.

The only reason given for why they can't make port to deal with the issue is that they're too far away, I guess? Which is also not the case for a ship sailing that route. This isn't an open sea voyage.

While the pacing of a movie and the pacing of a show are different, The Terror did this so much better. You don't get to see the Tuunbaq clearly until quite late in the series. People just vanish or get mauled by...something. That sense of mystery is just gone in The Last Voyage. And it is disappointing because that was a huge opportunity to nail the tone.

If I had to come up with the key elements of what the Demeter section is, it would be: A Horror Story about a ship with a tragic ending.

They didn't nail the horror, but what about the other two?

There's also a puzzling lack of understanding of the dynamics on a ship throughout the movie. One glaring example is that the First Mate and Clemens make the decision to sink the ship without even asking the captain first. I know this is the merchant navy and not the navy, but that is still a galling lack of discipline. The captain is in charge and his duty is to the whole ship and the crew.

The original captain's log makes use of this. Dracula more or less kills his way up the chain of command because he's a sadist. He's forcing the commanding officers to feel more desperation as they fail in their duty to protect their crew.

The Last Voyage makes the captain a very minor character, which at least to me reveals a misunderstanding of how hierarchy works in a ship. While I don't think including new characters is necessarily bad, Clemens and Anna make most of the important decisions, and neither of them particularly have standing with the crew. It undercuts the idea of responsibility and letting people come to harm under your care (which carries through later to Lucy and Mina).

I'll return to other ways the ship setting feels incorrect later, because those are closer to nitpicks.

So, third element: is it a tragedy? Does everyone on board die by the end?

The opening scene may make you think so. But no, actually they don't. Clemens escapes and ends the movie vowing to hunt down Dracula. For one, this is where it is a bad Dracula adaptation because that simply cannot happen and maintain the plot of Dracula. Unless he was rather dense when he read about the Bloofer Lady in the paper and decided that wasn't related. But additionally, the tone of the ending radically changes. It isn't a tragedy where the last act of a brave man is to stay at the wheel, because he isn't the lone survivor left to be battered to death by either the storm or Dracula anymore. In fact most of the crew is still there for the multiple people vs Dracula fight.

This is where the tone really failed for me: the story has a winner, a hero, someone who can make it out alive. And it's the new character. That just did not sit well with me when the original is such a poignant tragedy.

The First Mate, who is the character most primed to come to a realization, hardly has an arc in The Last Voyage.

The insistence that they can fight and maybe even win also makes both Clemens and Anna incredibly inconsistent characters. She especially suffers from this, because she should in theory have the knowledge of how to repel a vampire (the villagers certainly have some idea in the book), but then she says things like "do you think I have the faintest idea how to kill him?" and in the next breath is urging the crew to kill him before he reaches London. She also says Dracula is going to London because "there is no one left in my home country to feed on" but her backstory is that she's on the ship as a deal so Drac can have a snack. So, clearly, he can get people to feed on if he wants.

Clemens is the "too smart and rational" character. But he also never thinks maybe they should expose the boxes to sunlight even after seeing people combust in sunlight after turning. It's all terribly inconsistent.

The decision to not write the story as a tragedy ends up cascading, and that's the root of the issue. They can't win and kill the monster without completely changing the story of the novel, so they are only competent to a point. It makes it a worse horror movie, even disregarding it as an adaptation.

Now for the nitpicks, including quite a few about boats that probably only I noticed:

The aesthetics are all over the place in terms of period. Clemens spends a large part of the movie (which is set in the 1890s) running around in a lace up pirate shirt. No one on this ship owns a period appropriate boat cloak. None of their shirts have remotely the right collars, giving the sense that nautical fashion was sort of vaguely consulted over the long 18th to 19th century-ish.

Please look at this and tell me that it is even remotely late 19th century:

Here's Olek from 1899 for comparison (note the correct high collar and undershirt):

The dialogue suffers from this too. More than one person uses the word "heathen" which just feels wildly out of place in something that is supposed to have rationality and superstition as the key touchpoints (at least if it wants to be like Dracula). It sounds weird coming from a time period 20 years before World War 1. Sailors especially were more likely to be vaguely Christian but mostly superstitious, not zealots using terms like "heathen."

Additional aesthetic nitpick: The ship looks way too old for the period. That is an early to mid 19th century ship sailing in the 1890s without any retrofitting. There's a throwaway line about the captain not wanting a fancy new steamship, but that doesn't account for how antique the captain's quarters are or the lack of metal on the hull. Again, the nautical aesthetics are all skewing too early. If this ship was still a Russian ship like the original, an older sailing vessel might have said something about the lag in Russian shipbuilding, it works less with an English merchant ship.

There's some functional issues about understanding sailing: The ship is way too spacious inside. Really tall men are standing up straight and walking around the hold with no trouble. That may seem like a small point, but imagine what actually exploiting the claustrophobic feeling below decks could have done for the ambiance.

The ship is definitely undercrewed given the number of masts they are showing. That many men would really struggle to reef all of the sails in a timely manner (which would matter in a storm). The writers put a crew of a small fishing vessel on a ship that is much larger and requires more hands. And it is puzzling because more people would mean: more kills and disappearances as well as giving a progression of being unable to raise and lower the sails and also keep someone at the wheel. Which, I will note, the original log does.

My first red flag about this movie was having seemingly no Slavic characters on a ship that was Russian in the original. But now that I've seen it, I'm even more annoyed that the one Russian character exists to: call a woman a slur, call a black man a slur (a rather British one imo), and then immediately be murdered on screen. Can't have nuance in how we portray Slavic people in Western media, huh?

I also get the sense that the screenwriter didn't know the difference between Romanian and Romani, because the first mate is vaguely hinted to be Romani (the kid mentions "Wojchek taught me some words in Romani") and has a Western Slavic first name, not a Romanian one. When in the book he is explicitly Romanian.

Rapid fire ways the movie gets the book wrong on a nitpicky level: Dracula doesn't get more human looking as he nears London, a vampire who prides himself on being aristocratic isn't going to drink from pigs or rats, the vampires in the book can go in sunlight but are weaker, religious artifacts are way more powerful deterrents in the book, and Clemens is way too casual about transfusions. It makes Van Helsing doing it seem less like an act of desperation. Anna gets Mina's ability to sense Dracula without putting in the effort to reverse engineer the connection.

Someone please tell me that Nosferatu is better. This was honestly very frustrating.

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic x ...DC Comics?!

We have our reveal of what our new Sonic comic crossover will be, and it's... not what I expected! We're getting a five-issue comic series mashing up Sonic with the DC Comics universe written by Ian Flynn, plus a slew of merch to go with it.

To be honest, I don't know how to feel about this? I don't feel the hype.

Okay, for one, cards on the table: I have more attachment to Marvel's cast of characters than DC's. Sue me. But it's not like I don't also like DC's heroes! I grew up watching the Batman movies and the Justice League cartoons and Adam West's Batman and whatnot. I loved Teen Titans so much as a kid that I was Robin one year for Halloween. DC's cool! People have been comparing Sonic to the Flash for years! So... why does this collab make me feel nothing?

Well, for one, it might be that I would prefer a series like this to be about Sonic and friends meeting the Justice League, as opposed to them being the Justice League. To me, personally, that just seems a little more interesting. Seeing how those characters play off of each other. People have been asking "who would win in a race, Sonic or the Flash?" for years, so that was kinda the thing I was latching onto as the impetus for this crossover. And yes, in the interview they tease the possibility of the actual characters meeting, but they're marketing it primarily via these mashup characters with Sonic and co. cosplaying as the Justice League, so I have to assume that's the main focus of the story.

But I'm also just sitting here like... why DC? Why is this the highest priority crossover to do with Sonic? It seems so arbitrary. Just mashing two random popular franchises together. It doesn't feel like something that resonates so heavily with Sonic that we just NEED this crossover to exist. The DC universe isn't something that has much of a thematic connection with Sonic. Like, you look at the TMNT x Naruto crossover, and THAT feels inspired. That's something you never would've thought would happen, but the second it's announced it seems so obvious, and the sick cover art sells the idea that it's gonna be something fun. (Hell, speaking of TMNT, that feels like a crossover that would've made way more sense to me. No, the single panel of the Archie comics they appeared in doesn't count.)

When the Sonic X DC thing is announced with a series of stock vectors of the Sonic cast cosplaying as the Justice League and the news that there will be a ton of merch for this, well. It just makes it seem like this is first and foremost a collab designed to generate new Funko Pops.

I don't know. I'm sure that whatever the actual story looks like, Ian will do his damnedest to make the comic fun. It'll probably be pretty decent. He's the perfect writer for this assignment. It's just not the crossover I would've requested. Maybe I'm just being a hater here. I know a lot of people are excited, with speculation about what other Sonic characters could take the roles of DC characters. Maybe showing something from the actual comic would've been a better sell. But, well, that's how I feel about it based on the announcement!

[lobstercat64]

OH MY GOD OK SONIC MOVIE 3 WAS SO GOOD!!! (Spoilers)

ok so the things I liked and was so happy to see

1 “Leave and Learn” that was so cool I got it on the first notes no joke

2 Shadow got the gun AND the bike and that part was so badass!

3 The “who does your highlights?” I’ll draw this, expect fanart any day now ;P

4 There was Sonadow I SAW IT I SWEAR!

5 There was so many SA2 references like holy crap! The “Talk about low budget flight” and the whole ark announcement was like 1 to 1 with the actual game!

6 HE PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOTS!

7 “Gotta go fast”

8 Shadow’s Super form was so pretty! He looked like pink gold, like a K-pop star lol XD

9 All the action was so epic and cool!

10 The movie all in all was very visually pleasing and the plot was great

11 Metal looked sooooo good!

12 We saw Amy! And she was so cute like omg!!!

Anyway this is all for now, might add stuff later

Update: Oh yeah! I showed my friend the eggman fun dub meme and he was so exited about the moon part and when we saw it we were so hyped like I’m so glad I have them!

He also pointed out that there was a Sonic meme on the screen of the building right before the power of the city went down after Sonic and Shadow fought lol

[imomnba-x07]

hey, im a different anon and idk if that person already replied to u.

anyway.

i see the point that one person was trying to make but i agree with you that even tho ava and yelena were victims they still continued killing ppl and work for women like val after they were free to do what they want. they did show in the movie that they started regretting it and wanting to do better (at least yelena when she said she wanted to be like nat) but that's doesn't change the fact that they have blood on their hands that is not linked to the red room but a freelancer job they deliberately decide to do.

i also agree that all the team is self-centred, even tho john and alexei show it way more than the other and are the only ones that have no other reason than fame and glory.

i agree with your whole point but at the same time i still feel like bucky was a lot out of character in the post credit.

in the whole movie i felt like he was the only one who was just there and didnt actually fits in the group dynamics because he was barely with them. then, he asks them to go against val FOR ONE MISSION and suddenly he is part of the group and even accepting the new avengers title?

it felt weird, like the whole scene was a different movie.

it doesn't make sense for him to act like this. i wasn't exactly looking forward to this movie since it was announced (for this phase i only had hype for cabnw cause its sam's story and the marvels) but i went to watch it anyway and while it was an okay movie (until the last scene) i had the constantly feeling that they could have made the movie without bucky and that he was just there cause they probably needed an old character the general audience knew already.

he might have been a pain the ass in the past, but he has always sided with ppl like steve in civil war, sam in tfatws, wakandans during the wakanda war in the avengers movie ecc. it makes no sense for his character to betray them. to betray sam of all the ppl after he was the one that supported him as captain america since endgame.

this is just a personal opinion tho, as someone who has been a sam and bucky fans since 2014 (in every media). i can understand if u think otherwise, im very open about hearing other ppl opinions and change mine if i said something wrong.

hope this ask doesn't sound aggressive or bad in general, i apologise in advance if this sounds like an attack

Good evening anon!

No need to be nervous, I agree with you. Bucky was completely OOC in the entire film (from what I’ve heard) and in the post credit scene.

I mean he starts off the movie trying to take Val down and by the end he just…..doesn’t do that? It’s like dementia finally hit his old ass and he forgot what he was even doing there in the first place.

He had a personal reason for wanting Val impeached taht made sense for his character but they never went anywhere with it and just shoe horned him in an awful way with this band of strangers that he doesn’t belong with.

The Bucky I know would never have turned on Sam like that, or betrayed the Wakandans AGAIN after being given a second chance by them. Idk who the man is I’m looking at but it’s not Bucky.

Which is also why I agree with you (and I’ve said it a few times myself) that Bucky was solely in this movie to garner attention. He’s a fan favorite and his crazy stans jump at any opportunity to see him on screen so they were likely banking on his popularity to sell the thing (not that that worked out well for them😬)

It does such a disservice to the character because he doesn’t FIT with anything that happened in this movie. If there is not a coherent story that can be told with a character, if that character does not go through an arc that makes sense, then that character should not be there. Especially when they don’t contribute to the plot in a natural way.

And it’s also why I can’t stand the narrative that people are running with that they’re all a “found family”. Bucky already had a family he wasn’t just wallowing around and lonely, this is a grown man with several connections that he threw away for reasons that make zero sense. Plus he doesn’t spend any time with them at all to grow any sort of personal connection with any of these thunderbolts. And that can be said for all of them. They are STRANGERS. They don’t know eachother, they are not close.

All this to say, I don’t want the fact that he was written terribly to be used as an excuse for what he did in this movie. His actions were hurtful and have in universe consequences now which I’ll constantly bring up when I have to defend Sam Wilson from freak ass thunderbolt fans. Though I try to forget this movie ever happened for the sake of my sambucky heart.

I hate everything this movie did to his character. How any of his Stans are ok with what went on in this movie is beyond me.

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader ⛏️

(First Kiss Edition!)

(Not my picture!)

(I thought this song was perfect for this, I remember watching this in the movie theaters way back when, loved it and still do. The first time I saw a representation of some of my culture on that scale, such an underrated movie.)

- In any situation you guys are in, working together or having two different jobs? I don’t think it’d be a surprise when I say the first kiss happens very early into the relationship and they’re the one to initiate it.

- No coaxing or dancing around the subject, you’re getting kissed like three days into the relationship tops.

- If you guys work for Overwatch together, and y’all won a particularly rough mission after going back and forth with the enemy, emotions are high as the celebration of the triumph proceeds.

- It happens so suddenly, like you’re next to Venture, happy as a clam after putting your all into your fighting. Then, out of nowhere, you’re getting grabbed and pulled into a sudden and passionate kiss that leaves you stunned and flushed, silent as a church mouse when they pull away.

- You know that one scene in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ Where Roger kisses Detective Valiant as if his life depended on it? It’s along the lines of something like that.

- You probably said something like, “I could kiss you right now!” After they saved you from getting pulverized and in their mind they went “Bet”.

- Trust me, they’re also kind of surprised that they actually did it—

- Time freezes for a moment as y’all kissed cause the team to go silent before an uproar from the particularly positive teammates— Causing even more cheering, especially if you have someone like Reinhardt on the team, he’d hype you guys up so much.

- That or if you guys are archeologists or simply have different jobs from one another it’s more private and Sloane can try to convince you that it was on purpose. But in Overwatch? Fuck no lol.

- The whole roster was like 80% sure you guys were a thing, but that went up 1000% when Sloane kissed you as if they needed it to breathe.

- Spreads like wildfire and by the end of the day everyone knows you guys are a couple, and a rather cute one on top of that.

- At least you guys don’t have to tell everyone that you’re a thing now.

- It makes Venture a little sad. They were planning something big to announce it cause they felt like it needed to be as special as they think your guys’s relationship is. They were biting back the urge to brag about it for 72 hours (the longest time they’ve ever kept something like that to themselves besides their feelings before you guys were a thing), all for naught.

- Reassure them it isn't a big deal and that if they look at it from a different perspective, the first kiss was a great way of doing it.

- They’ll spring back up when you say that, saying something like “Oh I planned to do it like that anyways!”

- You know, like a liar.

- Besides that little hiccup, it was a great first kiss, they wouldn't have it any other way.

- As one might expect, everyone has different views on the matter, with the positive ones that are like “Aweee look at them go!” And think it’s cute: (Ana, D.Va, Junkrat; a mix between neutral but more positive nonetheless, Kiriko, Lucio, Lifeweaver, Illari, Mei, Mercy, Reinhardt, Sigma; same as Junkrat)

- Neutral, like, “Oh, cool, congrats Ig”: (Brigitte; a bit more positive but still neutral, Baptiste, Bastion, Cassidy, Echo, Genji, Hanzo, Junker Queen, Orisa, Symmetra, Torbjorn, Solider 76, Roadhog, Sombra, Sojourn, Winston, Zarya, and Zenyatta: same as Brigitte but a bit more happy)

- Then the negative, the “I don’t need to know about about that you keep that to yourself”: (Ashe, Doomfist, Moira; sassy about it, Mauga; He’s like an annoying older brother that is constantly trying to embarrass their younger sibling— That sibling rivalry between him and Venture is wildddd, Reaper, Ramattra; a bit more neutral, Wrecking Ball; Blunt and mean about it too lmao, Widowmaker; graduated with her master’s degree in the art of being a hater).

(FINALLY! On the last scheduled headcanon post! Yippeee! Hopefully I’ll now be able to get some requests from y’all now that I’m done with this last one!)

[requiemforthestars]

I have only about 50 SotR pages left and I already know the broad strokes of everything that happens from here on now due to Catching Fire so... thoughts? I guess?

Spoilers under the cut

Man, I really wanted to like this book, I really did, I was hyped as hell and super excited. Original THG is one of my favourite book series ever and I don't just say that because of teen nostalgia but because I've reread it several times as an adult and I still finds that it holds up really well, and sure, I didn't really like TBoSaS the first time* I read it that much either, it has grown on me in rereads, so I expected a lot from this book... and it really has let me down, and I think I can pin down why to three things:

1. And most glaring, this is not a book that was written as a book. This is a novelized movie script and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. It's why the narration is so simple, it's why the character's emotions are so flat, it's why everything goes by so damn fast, it's why the book is so... boring. I can't believe I'm calling a THG book boring but... here we are. And I was wondering why it felt like that when none of the other books did, when all the plot points I actually loved them conceptually. The cameos, the failed revolution, the emotional points, it all seemed like it would hit the nail on the head, and yet it didn't. And then I started visualising the book as a movie with the soundtrack, with the actor's faces doing most of the work and I realized "oh this book would actually work so much better as a movie!" and then I just... couldn't unsee it. That's why the narrations and descriptions are so flat and boring, because it was written mostly as a movie (hence book and movie being announced at the same time) and not allowed to stand on its own. And that's shameful and awful and makes this book feel like a failed cash grab, rather than a story Collins actually wanted to tell.

2. Haymitch's lack of any personality whatsoever. I mean hello? Original trilogy Haymitch is one of the most memorable characters so who is this guy? I get it, he's a good, innocent kid, he wants to do good, that's what makes his whole tragedy of a life so fucking heartbreaking, but still? Good =/= amoeba and sure, while the fast pace of the book doesn't contribute at all to character building or to lending him any character-specific voice**, that doesn't really excuse some real glaring issues like... his absolute lack of reaction to being reaped? His lack of real purpose or defining characteristics other than "Huh, ok, I'll do this" or "Haymitch x Lenore Dove 5ever" like dude? I'm almost glad the trauma happened to you because at least it gave you a personality?

Though, it is kinda funny that teenage Haymitch is written with the same amoeba-like empty personality that so many YA girls have though, in which all the other characters have a defined personality except for the protag who is a self-insert. A win for feminism, if you must.

3. WHERE IS THE MOCKINGJAY PIN?!?!?

WHERE IS MAYSILEE DONNER'S FUCKING MOCKINGJAY PIN???

Yes, yes, I know the book mentions it. Yes, I know it exists in the book, but it's mentioned in a way that makes... no sense whatsoever??? Like? OK, so Haymitch knows it was Maysilee's but it was actually Lenore Dove's uncle's who made it, Maysilee actually hates the freaking thing and thinks it's dumb, even if she and her niece Madge are the ones connecting the pin to Katniss, the symbol of the revolution, in the original trilogy? But who cares right? All that matters now is that the pin is related to the Covey and so is Katniss, the pin might as well have no connection to Maysilee at all?

And I don't mind the Covey connection, it's a nice touch! But I mind that it makes the pin have no real connection to Maysilee at all. I don't care that she hates it! Make it part of her arc? Make her hate the thing but take it to the Games because it's a connection to her sister, make her grown to care for it, make her and Haymitch bond over it and the different ways it reminds both of them of home!! Make Haymitch salvage it from the arena somehow and then take it home to poor Merrilee, the last reminder of her sister, who will then tell the story to her daughter, who will years later give it to Katniss once she is reaped because both of them, Katniss and Maysilee were poor teenagers from D12 who had to go through the same shit.

In Catching Fire, Katniss says this specifically that knowing that the pin once belonged to a girl who was also reaped and died in the Games, gives even more weight to it. But then we get Maysilee's story and oh, the thing is not significant for her at all, it's just really shoehorned into Haymitch's inner narration because it's a piece of the puzzle we must fit into this book.

And that enrages me, that means lack of thought put behind this book.

More stuff:

I was initially going to complain about Snow's cringey af monologue about his 40 year old situationship because of how pathetic it makes him as a villain (dude, you're 60 and she's just a girl that ran away from you once you started acting scary, get over it?) but also, I've seen incel men talk like that irl and become outrageously evil because of it, so it is realistic sadly, that's just how many incel losers act in the real world. And our current real world fascists are actually incredibly openly pathetic, so I can't even complain about the stupidity of evil when it's just fucking realistic (and that's sad af).

*I maintain that my original theory while I read it that Lucy Gray was faking being in love w/ Snow and that she would act completely different once he got to D12 AND would end up betraying him/trying to kill him would have been a way better development because what in the heterosexual fuckery was that "I'm a tribute in the Hunger Games so of course I'm falling for the Capitol guy assigned to me"? Hello??? Hello?!?!?!? Very manic pixie dream girl and not realistic.

**And having a well-written unique protagonist whose characterisation makes sense and whose personality is incredibly memorable even if not likeable is something that all 4 other books in the series did SO WELL if I might add? Both Katniss and Snow are incredible memorable and unique POV characters in their own right? So Collins knows how to do this!!

[roger-that-cap]

running back to home base (you)

chapter one (1/4)

destiel highschool/college/work AU

Summary: Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester are high school best friends. And then they are lovers. After that, they are strangers, ripped apart by Dean’s stubbornness, stupidity, and lack of acceptance of his own self. When Dean comes across Castiel again years after they both graduate college and have their own lives, he’s hit with a solid understanding of just how miserable he really is, and how badly he fucked up. Especially when Castiel is absolutely thriving, and just as beautiful as the last time they saw each other.

Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester were as thick as thieves. They had been that way since freshman year of high school, and Castiel still didn’t understand what exactly made Dean take him under his wing.

Castiel was sheltered. He grew up in boarding schools with people just like him, with money to burn and odd parents who either cared too much or nowhere near enough. High school was the first time he was ever in public school, and it was very obvious that he was an oddball. He was sure that he was off putting, even Gabe had warned him to maybe smile instead of just watching people, but Dean sat right next to him in their English class, anyway.

He remembered that first day they met like it was yesterday. It was the very first day of freshman year. Dean shot him a grin, asked his name, and smoothly told him his own name like he had never once heard of first day jitters. He had also announced that he was on the varsity baseball team as a freshman, and he was proud of it. Castiel didn’t understand the hype, but it was obvious that their peers were in awe about it. So, he had just nodded and filed it in his brain that it was an achievement.

The first few weeks between them were awkward. Cas didn’t speak unless spoken to (which was actually a lot because Dean never shut up), but he realized eventually that Dean was actually a nice kid. Maybe a little too confident, but he was nice. He never made fun of Cas, never gave him strange looks or asked where he came from. He treated Castiel like he didn’t just fall out of the sky and into their small town, which meant that he was more than okay in Castiel’s books.

The first time they ever talked outside of class was when Dean came up to him at lunch. Castiel had been annotating his personal copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray, very obviously deep into it with his earbuds in and all, and Dean had waltzed up anyway with that stupid, goofy grin. “Hey, did you read the book last night?”

Immediately, Castiel had been a little peeved. This kid had broken his quiet, peaceful lunch for absolutely no reason other than to try to get his answers for work he didn’t do. He glared at Dean. “I’m not going to help you cheat. And I’m not giving you the answers.”

Dean frowned. “Answers? I don’t want your answers, I want to talk about it,” he said, plopping down next to him. “Poor Lennie, right? I can’t believe this!”

For a moment, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t think Dean was stupid or anything, but every time Dean had spoken in class up to that point, it was about some movie or TV show that Castiel had yet to watch. Or even worse, baseball. He never wanted to talk about school, so Castiel had determined that it just wasn’t his thing.

“I mean… yes,” Cas had said slowly. “It’s very sad.”

“What are you listening to?” Dean asked, and he tapped on Castiel’s phone screen. Before Castiel could scold Dean about touching other people’s things, Dean’s brows raised. “Uh, you know this song is about a stalker?”

“Every breath you take” was playing on his phone. It was one of his favorites. It was a song Gabriel used to play as a joke, but it became one of the songs Castiel played the most, and one of the ones that had him wishing he was as skilled at music as he was with a pen or a paintbrush.

“Yes, it’s obviously about someone watching another person very closely,” Cas said, and Dean cracked a smile. “But that doesn’t make it any less good.”

“It’s all good, I like the song too,” Dean said, and then in another breach of personal space, he took Castiel’s earbud and put it right in his own ear. “We all share music on the bus,” he justified, and then to Castiel’s surprise, he jumped right into the lyrics.

After a few moments of watching Dean shamelessly mouth the lyrics, Castiel started to mumble them back, both inspired by his lack of boundaries and confused by them.

And then, as if Dean had cracked open a vault full of gold, he beamed. They finished the song together.

And that had started it all.

That very moment had somehow led to Castiel going to a game or two just to see what it was all about, after a time or two do Dean talking him into showing up. He discovered that Dean was actually very good at baseball, just as Dean himself and everyone else had been raving about. And even though the rules never seemed to stick in Castiel’s head, he enjoyed watching Dean play.

They turned out to be very compatible friends. That evolved into them sitting next to each other at lunch every day. Then Castiel was going to his house whether that was to study or just talk. That was how he met Sam, Dean’s sweet, tall, considerate younger brother who was very smart. He was a good kid, and even though Dean teased him at times, it was obvious he loved Sam to pieces.

As the years went on and Dean got more and more friends, Castiel always had a seat on the right side of him. Their interactions kept snowballing, and before either of them could understand it, they were always together. And before any of them could stop it, they were stealing glances at each other, subtle hearts and stars lingering in their eyes.

The stolen glances changed into something more, too. It went from looking at each other and then looking away to holding each other’s stares until one of them (usually Cas) couldn’t bear it anymore. It went from sitting on the bed far apart to being close enough to touch thighs, and then Dean’s hand hovering over Cas’s. By the end of freshman year, it was obvious to the both of them that there was something other than friendship going on between the two of them, even if it remained unspoken out loud.

The spring of sophomore year changed everything. Cas was going to every game that he could make at that point, just as Dean went to all of his art shows and book competitions. There was one game, one of the last games of the season, where Dean was so happy that he pulled him away and behind the bleachers. For a moment, the look in Dean’s eyes was so wild that Castiel was sure that Dean was on a high, and just like in the movies, they shared a kiss in the middle of May, hidden away from everyone and everything besides the buzzing beehive under the bleachers.

After the kiss, it still took three weeks for them to put a label on things. That label came on one of the first days of summer, and Castiel felt like he had gained angel wings because he was so excited. After a long time, Dean Winchester was his boyfriend. His boyfriend.

They spent that whole summer together, just the two of them. Sometimes Sam would tag along, definitely suspecting something, but never bold enough to ask his brother about a thing. It was perfect. And as stupid as every high schooler was, Castiel had been so sure that the perfect summer world they had built together would last forever.

The cruel hands of time led them to college applications and acceptances. They both got into the same school, and after they practically jumped up and down over that, they both committed to going. Dean wasn’t happy with Castiel at first, because he knew that Castiel could have done “more”. But what was “more” without his best friend? It worked for the both of them, having the exact majors they needed and the programs, too. So, they would go to school together, and Castiel thought that it couldn't have worked out any better.

The summer after high school was their best yet. It was full of laughter and affection and swimming and talking about their future and kissing and love, and it was glorious.

And then it was time to pack up and head to school.

It hadn’t come to a screeching halt, though. There was a week left of summer that was full of family visits, and his favorite- a sendoff party.

Castiel hadn’t ever heard of a sendoff party, but if any family were to do it for their child, of course it would be the Winchesters. Dean was going to the same school as he was, just an hour and some change down the road, but Mary Winchester was as celebratory as she had been at their graduation, somehow equally proud of them both. Castiel always felt grateful that Mary treated him as her own on more occasions than one. Gabriel was a great brother, but it was obvious that Castiel was missing a supportive mother figure in his life, and Mary had been kind enough to fill that ever since Cas first came to the house. John wasn’t mean, he was just a tired man who spent most of him time grunting or paying attention to his children when there were accomplishments. He was nice enough to Cas, but Mary was kind, and very inclusive.

And that was what led him to blowing out candles on a cake, standing next to his favorite Winchester of all, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey, uh, can we talk?”

Castiel was still smiling. The smoke from the candles on his cake was lingering in his nose, and he noticed that Dean hadn’t even blown his candle out yet. He nudged him. “Make a wish.” Dean just stared at Castiel for a moment, and then after a few long seconds, he leaned down and blew out his candle.

The kitchen erupted in applause and congratulations, and Castiel couldn’t stop grinning. He graduated, and he was going to college. They both were. It was on to the next thing. They could finally leave town, finally be bigger and better than what they had been confined to. Dean could be more than baseball, and Castiel could… he just could be himself. He was ready to grow, and he was ready to watch Dean grow, too.

He could feel Dean hovering around him awkwardly, which was funny, because usually it was Castiel who was the awkward one in a crowd. Castiel was always Dean’s little shadow, the shadow that Dean always thrusted forward regardless, the shadow Dean forced to be side by side with him, shown as his equal.

They ate the cake, which was half vanilla for Cas and half chocolate for Dean, and Castiel talked animatedly to Mary, who was still gushing over his perfect GPA and the fact that he was third in his class, to which he was perfectly excited about. That meant he hadn’t had to do a speech.

He could feel Dean. It was a talent of his that he had acquired in their second year of being best friends. He was good at sensing when Dean was having a bad day, or when he was having negative thoughts. He was good at it, and he knew for a fact that there was something wrong with Dean.

He wasn’t sure exactly what his problem was, but he wasn’t eating his cake with as much vigor as he usually ate desserts. It wasn’t pie, but it was still cake, so Dean should have been excited to shovel forkfuls of it. But he wasn’t. He was pushing it around his plate and looking around like someone was watching him.

“Can we talk?” Dean asked again after a few more pushes of his cake, and Castiel turned to look at him, really look at him.

He looked nervous. Dean was never nervous. Even when he was, he always had this air of confidence that couldn’t be disputed. He always brought calmness and content wherever he went, and he was so cool and handsome that he could have been a model on a magazine. He could have been a statue, made of strong, beautiful marble. That was Dean. That had always been Dean.

“Sure,” he said softly, still giving him a small smile, and they walked down the hallway together.

Castiel was sure that Dean was nervous about being away from home. He had never been away from Sam or his parents before. Meanwhile, Castiel had been sent to boarding schools until high school. Cas was used to being away from his awful parents, he thrived on it, but Dean was different.

The bedroom door shut, and the second Castiel took a seat in the middle of the bed like he always did, Dean turned to look at him with apprehension written all over his beautiful face.

“I don’t think we should hang out anymore.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. For a moment, the words bounced around in his head, ringing like a bell and bouncing off the thick walls of his skull. It was all coming crashing down in front of him at once, in the middle of their joint fucking going away party, and all Castiel could do was blink.

“What, Dean?” He managed to grind out, and he saw the look on the other boy’s face, and his heart sank. That was the look that Dean got when he was about to pull away.

“I said, I don’t think it’s good for us to hang out anymore. After this,” he amended, and Castiel watched his face closely.

Hang out. What an immature way to describe what they were doing. Like they were twelve years old and neighbors, playing games on a console until it was time to walk home. “What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said,” Dean said snippily, and Castiel swallowed at the sharp tone. Dean rarely ever spoke to him like that. That was how Dean sounded when he felt like he was backed into a corner. “I don't…maybe we just shouldn’t.”

Castiel’s mind was racing. He needed a reason. “Is your dad making you say this?”

“No, Cas,” Dean said quickly, but Castiel narrowed his eyes anyway. John wasn’t openly terrible, but he hadn’t acknowledged what was blatantly in front of him, and Castiel was sure it was because he didn’t want to. “I just- we shouldn’t.”

Usually, Castiel wouldn’t pry. He wouldn’t even get close to begging for someone to speak to him, let alone about their feelings. Even worse, Dean. But he had to. “Why not?”

Dean sighed, but instead of sounding bored, his breath was shaky. “We’re going to college, Castiel. I’m gonna be busy, you’re gonna be busy, we’ll hardly get to see each other-”

All Castiel could see were the decorations in the living room, the dark red and the white, the colors of the school they were going to together. “We committed to the same school-”

“I’ll be doing baseball and you- you have all your art stuff,” Dean paused his rambling, and it was enough time for the words to settle in and for Castiel to start feeling his heart slowly shatter, “and you’ll probably join a writing club. We won’t have time-”

“We’ve always made time before.”

“I’m not good at school and I don’t want to drag you down-”

“Dean, you know I’ll help you with your school work, now what’s actually wrong?” Castiel asked, and for the first time in a while, he was outwardly bewildered. “You’re giving excuses.”

Castiel saw the moment Dean’s walls, the walls that took years for him to tear down brick by brick, go back up. “What, I’m not allowed to break-to say I want a break from us being around each other?”

“You are, of course you are,” Castiel said calmly, “but this makes no sense, Dean. We’re both smarter than this, and you know that excuses are stupid and they’re not fair. So what’s going on?”

There was a pause. That pause scared Castiel, because Dean was rarely ever silent. Unless he was eating. But a silent Dean in a serious conversation meant that there was about to be a bomb dropped on the both of them.

“I’m just ready to turn over another leaf, Cas.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Castiel watched as Dean took in a long breath, one that was uncharacteristically shaky considering how pseudo confident Dean always was, and he held a breath of his own, because he knew that whatever came next was about to rip his world apart.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Ow. Fuck. That hurt. But Castiel just blinked and breathed in real slow through his nose, like that would curb the pain. He nodded his head once and ignored the slight shake of his hands. He prayed Dean would, too. “Okay. Can I ask why?”

Dean looked like he wanted to do anything but answer as he shrugged. His shrug made it look like his shoulders alone weighed a hundred pounds. “I don’t… I just don’t want to be known as the gay guy.”

Castiel frowned. If anything, that was him. Dean was still the cool baseball guy that just so happened to have the weird little art guy following him around. Castiel was the gay guy who just fell into being Dean Winchester’s “best friend” in the eyes of those who didn’t look close enough.

“And I can’t… I can’t be with you if that’s not what I want. How I want to be seen.”

It shouldn’t have surprised Castiel. Dean had never openly claimed him, never openly defended him beyond how a friend would. But that was all to outsiders. That was when Dean had a front on. That was how Dean showed himself to everyone else.

But there Dean was right in front of him, tearing down every banner they had ever hung on their shitty little castle that was never built to withstand the rain and wind. He was ripping it all down and putting up shutters, hiding from the one person who was always allowed in on the other side of the walls.

“So… you don’t want anyone to know that you’re gay?”

Dean made a face. “It… it’s not like that.”

“You want to break up with me so that people can’t see us together,” Castiel said slowly, like every word was glass on his tongue, “because we’re both men.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you.”

“That's exactly what you just said, Dean,” Castiel said, and he looked toward the closed bedroom door as if he could see through it and make sure no one was listening. “You don’t want to be seen with me.”

“Cas, you’re my best friend in the whole world-”

“I’m your boyfriend, Dean.”

Dean flinched.

“Dean, I’m your boyfriend. I have been for a long time. Ever since we kissed under the bleachers, you know this.”

And Dean did know it. It was something that they had laughed about plenty of times. They laughed about how nervous they had both been for no reason, how shy that they had been despite having a gut feeling, just knowing, how the other felt.

“Cas I just-” Dean closed his eyes for a moment. “I realized that I can’t love you how you want me to, alright?”

That knocked the breath out of Castiel. “What?”

“I’m not like you,” Dean said, and Cas noticed that he was shaking, too. “I’m not. And you can’t make me be, okay? I can’t love you like that. I just- it doesn’t work that way.”

“You don’t love me?”

“Not in that way,” Dean said, and Castiel would have had to be deaf to not hear his voice breaking. “Not… romantically.”

Flashbacks flew through the shorter boy’s mind quicker than ever. He saw them laughing together, holding hands, looking at the stars late at night and sneaking out of the house just to swim in the lake. He remembered them playing house together while his parents were gone. He could see images of the two of them staring into each other's eyes and then leaning in to kiss like they were magnets. He remembered their hands in each other’s pants for the first time and taking off their shirts like they fucking had to, kissing like their last breaths were in each other’s lips. He remembered all the art shows and how Dean never missed an exhibit, or how he always went to Dean’s games. He remembered the trips they took in the summer and the birthdays and the holidays and getting so close with Sam like it was meant to be and the job at the ice cream shop that they both worked at together simply because it was the only job that let them constantly be on the schedule at the same time-

“You don’t love me romantically?”

Dean looked like he was about to scream in his childhood home. He looked the smallest that Castiel had ever seen him, beaten down by his own fists. “No. Not like that. I can’t.”

Castiel wanted to drag it out. He wanted to ask why. He wanted to do the whole “so that’s it” thing, but he knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. Not with Dean. And not with himself, either. He knew the look in Dean’s eyes well enough to know that he would get nothing more, at least nothing that wouldn’t drive him crazy.

He would be getting nothing more from Dean, at all. And he couldn’t help him, either.

“Dean, if you can’t accept who you are,” Castiel said slowly, shaking his head, “all you’re going to do is hurt yourself.”

Dean took a step back like his words had burned through his chest and into his heart. “You don’t get it, Cas.”

“I do, Dean. I’m gay. And so are you. At the very least, you like men.” Dean shook his head, and Cas wasn’t sure if he was disputing a claim that wasn’t even his, or if he was blocking out the entire conversation. “You’re only denying yourself-”

Dean’s jaw was sharp as he shook his head one more time. “Shut up.”

“You are,” Cas insisted. “And that’s that. You’ll figure it out eventually, Dean, but I really hope that the fall doesn’t hurt as badly as I’m sure it will.” Castiel turned on his heel, intent on leaving Dean before the heartbreak bled into his expression and his words.

He got about three paces away before he heard Dean speak again. “Are you mad because I said I can’t love you?”

“No, Dean,” Castiel said, turning just his head to look at Dean, who was tense standing there, looking seconds away from falling apart. “I’m upset because you’re saying you can’t love yourself.” He forced himself to look at Dean one last time, right into his green eyes, eyes that never cried but were surely shining right then. “Goodbye, Dean.”

Castiel beelined out of Dean’s bedroom, and as he heard people laughing and celebrating their graduation in the living room, he forced himself to act like he hadn’t just left Dean’s room for the last time.

He was thankful that he was blessed with the art of the poker face as he faked a headache, thanking everyone for letting him join the party. There wasn’t a person that could tell there was something wrong with him, but Mary looked at him strangely, like she could see right through him, but she let him go without saying a word about it. She hugged him tighter than usual. John waved goodbye, as nonchalantly as ever.

Castiel was ready to go home. He was seconds away from running, genuinely breaking out into a sprint just to get away and get home. He was so ready that he almost forgot about Sam, who seemed to have spawned out of nowhere right by the front door.

“Cas?” Sam asked, frowning, and Castiel could already see the hesitation in his eyes. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my house,” he said calmly, when in reality, all he wanted to do was bawl his eyes out, possibly even scream, but Sam had done nothing to him. He would always think of Sam as his family, despite what his older brother had done.

Despite what he wouldn't do.

Sam tilted his head to the side. “But this is your send off party, too,” he pointed out. “You can stay for as long as you want, I’m sure Dean would want you to.”

Castiel was sure of it before that conversation, too. He had been very sure. After so many touches and words and kisses, he was sure Dean wanted Castiel to follow him anywhere, and that he would have even followed him. But Dean’s teeth were extra sharp to make up for the softness of his lips, and Dean always managed to bite the gentle hand that fed him.

“It’s alright, Sam. I’ll uh, I’ll see you later, okay?”

Sam was younger, but he was so observant. It was something Castiel had admired in the boy, especially when it was paired with his intelligence and eagerness to learn. But now, as it was just the two of them by the front door, it made him uneasy. Sam’s stare pinned him into place, and Cas waited for whatever Sam wanted to say to hit him in the chest, just like his older brother's words had just moments before.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

That was a weird thing for Sam to say, and he had never said it before. That sounded an awful lot like a resolute goodbye. And as Castiel stood there and watched Sam blink back tears, he knew that they both knew Castiel wouldn’t be coming back.

“I’ll see you around, Sam.” And then Castiel opened the door and walked out of the Winchester’s house, and he made sure that he never turned back to look.

Under any other circumstances, Castiel would have hated moving all of his stuff. He would have hated the packing and the boxes and the shopping for shower caddies. He would have despised buying pots and pans and labeling them and all the other things that he realized were expensive only after swiping his own card. It all would have felt like a tedious chore but as time went on, he welcomed it as a nice distraction.

Dean would have had about ten people helping him move all of his things, and people buying him stuff, too. He would have had his whole family and his cousins and probably even boys from the team. He would have had so much help and positivity around him, and that was something Castiel had never been jealous of before moving almost on his own.

Gabriel, even though it was just him, ended up being a big help. He had always been the best older brother, the only one willing to move to a new area just so that Castiel could be normal for a few years before he got out of school and into the real world. Gabe was always Castiel’s best support system, and it was no different as they moved him into his dorm.

He was enough to make Castiel break a smile every now and then, to take him out of his thoughts with thoughts of something so incredibly stupid that he had to do a double take. Gabriel was funny, but Gabriel also was extremely aware that something happened. And he was too talkative for his own good.

So, as Castiel and his older brother unpacked the last box, Gabriel looked at Castiel with eyes that were less full of their casual mischief and more full of concern, and it made Cas bite his tongue, bracing for impact.

“So, you two are done?”

The ache in his chest got worse instantly, and for a moment, he was hoping that he could just not respond and it all would go away. But Gabriel was still there, watching him silently, waiting for an answer that would surely tear its way out of Castiel’s soul.

“I’m not sure if we ever were anything,” Castiel said quietly, but the words sounded like a bomb going off in his own ears.

“What?”

“I’m not sure if we were anything at all,” Castiel repeated, and Gabriel frowned, just looking at him. Watching.

“Don’t let him do that,” Gabe scolded, and Castiel cocked a brow.

“Do what?”

“Don’t let him write the narrative about what you were just because he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on with himself,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t let him make you think that what you two had was insignificant.”

For a moment, Castiel was shocked. It wasn’t like Gabe to be so profound, or to say something that didn’t circle back to something that was somewhat a joke at least once. “I… he’s not. I guess I was just thinking back on it-”

“That dumbass was definitely your boyfriend,” Gabriel said, sipping on his Coke, “and you’re going through a breakup. Taking it really well, I might say,” he added, and Castiel looked away.

Gabe knew about the breakup, but he had no idea why it happened. Cas figured it was better to explain in person right then and there than over the phone in a week or so while he broke down crying, so he sighed.

“He broke up with me because he didn’t want to be seen as gay.”

Gabe was silent for a moment, and then Cas looked back at his older brother. His eyes were narrowed. “How odd.” There was a pause. “Does he know that it’s college and it’s a huge school and no one gives a shit if anyone’s gay here? Like, at all?”

Castiel sighed. “It was more than that, Gabriel. Deeper than that. I saw the look in his eyes. There was nothing I could have said to get him to change his mind. Nothing I say was going to reassure him.”

“It’s a personal issue,” Gabe agreed. “That’s all on him. And I honestly feel very sorry for Dean.” That was odd. He had never called Dean by his name, not since he and Cas started running around together. And he almost never said that he was sorry, not for his own actions, not for others. Gabriel was being wholeheartedly serious.

“Why?”

“Because Dean is so in love with you, to the point where quite literally everyone close to you guys knows it. And he’s going to shit a thousand bricks once he realizes that he fucked up.” He sipped his soda again. “But, he’ll realize a long time from now. I can see it already.”

“I doubt it, Gabriel.”

Gabriel put his soda down, and then with another one of those rare, serious looks, he nailed Castiel with a glare. “Cassie, mark my words. In about ten years, you’ll run into him somehow, some way. And he’s gonna lose it.”

Castiel wasn’t sure if he even wanted that idea in his head. He didn’t want the hope. He couldn’t afford it. He just… he couldn’t. It was a comfort that may or may not have been real, and he couldn’t cope with any more rugs being pulled out from under him.

“But he did you a favor, honestly. Now isn’t the time to be tied down. Freshman year!” Gabe practically shouted, and Castiel flinched a bit. “Have fun. Go to clubs. Go on dates. Get laid. Stay safe though, please. Be free and all that. Be a young adult.”

“I…” Castiel started, and by the time he knew his throat was closing up, it was already too late to stop the tears. “I don’t know how to do any of that without Dean,” he choked out. “He was the one with a hundred friends and- and all the invitations and- I can’t do this without him, Gabe.”

It hit him like a tower falling down on his head, bricks crushing him to bits. He started crying then and there in front of his brother, as close to sobbing his eyes out as he could get. He just stood there like a big baby, bawling his eyes out and covering his face as if that would shield him from judgement that was never going to come from Gabe in the first place.

A hand reached out, gentle yet grounding, and squeezed Cas’s shoulder. “You have something better,” Gabe said, and Castiel looked up, wiping his eyes. “You have the guts to be yourself. Without shame. And that’s worth so much more than a hundred friends who don’t really know you, Castiel.”

Castiel forced himself to nod. The words made sense, they really did, and they were just as calming as Gabriel’s energy in that moment as he swallowed and blinked back tears.

“You’re gonna be just fine.”

“I am,” Castiel confirmed, nodding his head again, and he let Gabriel’s words sink in. and he promised himself that he wouldn’t ever forget them.

So far, Castiel wasn’t the biggest fan of college. The university as a whole wasn't exactly his vibe, he wasn’t the biggest fan of some of his roommates (they were either dirty or rude), and it wasn’t as walkable as they had claimed it was when he first toured it.

Now, there were good points to it. He was in a great writing program with likeminded people, and he felt like he had finally found a small crowd to fit into. His favorite professor already liked him, and he had a single roommate that wasn’t insufferable. It all sounded perfect. When his mother called, he made it sound perfect. When Gabriel called, he let loose and complained a little. In his journal, he was mostly honest. He was missing something, and he was sure that anyone who knew him knew what it was.

He missed Dean.

Castiel was trying not to be too hard on himself regarding missing Dean. Dean Winchester was practically his other half for years, years before they ever kissed. Years. So as he closed his eyes holding a jersey that Dean had outgrown and given to him sophomore year, he let himself grieve.

Castiel had always seen their school colors as ugly. Green and blue, and some white thrown in the mix. Castiel was a color guy, he loved art, but the way that the jerseys looked never drew his eye in a good way. Unless Dean was in it. He remembered commenting on it one night after a baseball game went particularly well, and Dean was beaming under the sunset.

“I just can’t stand the colors,” he had said offhandedly, and he remembered the way Dean threw him an amused glance.

“Why not?”

“Too much blue,” he said, waving a hand over the jersey Dean was wearing.

“Well, I like it,” Dean had said, and Castiel nodded to himself, ready to hear about how Dean wanted to wear the green and blue for the rest of his life, because as far as he knew, Dean wanted to die with a bat in his hands. “The blue reminds me of you.”

Cas frowned. “Of me?”

“Well, your eyes,” Dean said casually, and Castiel remembered the way his heart skipped several beats then and there, and the way Dean kept walking like they were talking about the weather. “And my eyes are green. Green and blue go well together.”

They did. And Castiel was so convinced that they went together too, and that they would forever be immortalized by the stupid fucking jersey, the stupid fucking jersey that he was gripping in his hands like it was slipping through his fingers.

“Hey,” he heard, and he opened his eyes, still holding the jersey in his hands. It felt like holding ashes in his hands. He couldn’t bear to drop it, so he turned to look at Mick, the one roommate that wasn’t actually half bad. “We’re all going out and uh, did you want to get out of the apartment for a while?”

Gabriel would have wanted him to say yes. He would have been shouting at him to take the offer, actually. So, he put a smile on his face and nodded his head despite the fact that it took all of his energy to even think about carrying out conversations with anyone at any type of bar or club. He wasn’t even sure which was worse.

It took him no time at all to get ready. He never was one to take his clothes seriously, and he really had no reason to, because there wasn’t anyone he wanted to impress. He walked out awkwardly with his roommates, his supposedly new friends, and down the street to the bar. He already hated it as they laughed. Why were they laughing? What the hell was so funny? He knew what wasn’t funny, and it was eating him alive, grinding him up between teeth until he was nothing but mush.

By the time that they got their IDs checked and led into the glorified room with a dance floor and a bar, Castiel was already having to coach himself into not going home early. It was pathetic almost, but he kept hearing Gabe’s voice in his head, encouraging him to just stay out for the night. Just a few hours. And as the minutes went on and he nursed his first (and probably only) drink, he felt a little more at ease.

It took a few minutes for Castiel to realize that he was having an okay time. Usually whenever he went out, there was someone (Dean fucking Winchester) that built the bridge over the gap that was caused by his awkwardness. He didn’t have that safety net anymore, and that meant he was mostly standing off in the corner, watching his new roommates live their lives, laughing and dancing and taking shots.

That was fine by him. He liked to watch people. He liked watching the girl in the pink flush a similar color to her skirt when the boy she was talking to moved her hair to the side. He liked watching the two upperclassmen at the bar take a shot without flinching. He liked watching as a group of girls laughed and danced with each other, carefree and in their own worlds. As his eyes kept trailing around while he hardly even drank his own room temperature beer, they landed on something excruciatingly familiar.

He knew that back anywhere. He did. He would know it in the dark and under the blinding sunlight. He knew it with a shirt on or off, or wet from the ocean water. He knew it in a jersey or in a long sleeved shirt. And it was hunched forward, bent in the same way he imagined it looked from behind when they used to kiss.

His stomach dropped. He knew what he was seeing, who he was seeing. He understood it before his poor heart could catch up, and as if he needed more to fill in the blanks, the back turned to the side, and sure enough, there was a girl pushed up close to him, running her hands over his arms, kissing him right there.

Castiel’s brain fought its way to a conclusion as he stood there in shock. After three seconds of hardcore analysis, he blinked and forced himself to see it. Dean was in a college bar, making out with a girl who had dark hair, striking blue eyes that he could see even from afar, and sharp features. And if Castiel squinted a little, if he wanted to be self-absorbed, he would have thought that the girl looked a little like him. Castiel’s brows raised as it all settled in.

As if it was a joke from the universe, a familiar song started to play. He recognized the starting notes just as easily as he recognized Dean’s back, and the memories hit him instantly.

Every breath you take

No. It couldn’t be fucking real. He wasn’t living in the correct timeline, because why would the universe force him to watch Dean Winchester kiss a girl while their song played in the background? A song about-

The only option for Castiel was to leave. He had to leave quietly before he started to bawl on his very first night out. He had to get the hell out of there before Dean noticed him. And then, like he was in his own worst nightmare, Dean’s body straightened, and he turned his head as the girl kissed his neck. Castiel’s blue eyes met Dean’s green ones for the first time in what felt like years.

Dean looked like a deer in headlights. He was frozen as they looked at each other, stuck in time while the girl was completely oblivious to the sudden tension. They stared at each other from across the bar, and with his broken heart and all, all that Castiel could do was shrug.

Every game you play, every night you stay, I’ll be watching you

He saw Dean take a deep breath, one that reminded Castiel so much of all the ones he would take as he laid his head on his chest, listening to Dean’s heartbeat and his breaths and trying to sync their bodies together. He watched Dean exhale, and then with a nod that felt so heavy it nearly broke his neck, Castiel turned around and walked away, disappearing into the crowd and walking over to his roommates.

The one closest to him had a girl next to him, and he looked a little irritated as Cas walked up, but Castiel paid no mind. “I think I’m gonna head back,” he said over the music. “I have a headache.”

“Alright, man,” his roommate said, but he was clearly focused on the girl who was trying to drape herself over him. Castiel was grateful for it, because he probably would have seen the tears in his eyes if he had paid any more attention. He flew past everyone that he “knew” and right to the door, not even turning back as he ran away.

The walk to get there had been five minutes, but Castiel was fast. He turned it into a little under a minute, booking it down the street. He was running so fast, with so much clouding his mind, that he didn’t even realize it was beginning to drizzle. The drizzling turned into downpour just as fast as he approached his building, and his eyes were burning with tears as he chose to take the empty stairs rather than risk running into someone in the elevator.

Every step made his legs feel heavier, and made his heart ache travel even deeper into his soul. Every step was a step away from Dean, and away from the person he used to be when Dean loved him. His hope was torn to shreds in that very moment, and he knew that there was absolutely nothing that he could do for Dean Winchester.

But he would do himself a favor and leave his memories of Dean back home, where the other Winchesters still loved him, and where they used to have their whole lives ahead of them planted out onto different sides of the same path, running parallel with ivy growing from left and right and intertwining. Castiel was stumbling all through it, tripping with every step and cursing every single seed that he and Dean had ever placed into the ground together. And he had a feeling that he would be falling and getting back up for a long, long time.

********

hey! i'm writing again for real, i guess, because i have a destiel miniseries! never thought i would post again, let alone switch fandoms and do a miniseries. i'm so glad to be back even if it’s with a completely different group of people! there are so so so so so many talented destiel authors and i am so happy to contribute something (even if it’s shit) to the pile.

i'm excited yet nervous about this one (i love destiel so much that i will always be afraid to do them a disservice), so any and all feedback is worth so much to me! i hope you liked it 💕

[snowfires]

That last chapter… had me so hype. OMG. And poor Killer he really didn’t wanna believe it 😭

And MUFFET IS SUCH AN AMAZING FRIEND LOVE HER UGHHHH.

IS NIGHTMARE PLANNING TO USE READER AS THEIR HEALER?? I hope she’ll be ok omg

ALSO. I have an actual question— The panic attack ask was really sweet, I just wanted to know how they would comfort Reader while she’s having a bad day in general? (I want to milk all the fluff I can 🤭)

CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! seriously love your fic omg

I’ve had this one sitting in my inbox but I think now is the perfect time for some fluff and romance 😆

Killer has two strategies when he has a bad day: distract or dissociate. As a result, when he approaches the others during their bad days, he does whatever he can to distract them from those feelings or cast away their worries.

This would be helpful if Reader was having a bad day due to anxiety—he’ll readily offer soothing words, tell jokes until you’re laughing instead of crying, and encourage you to shed your responsibilities for the day and come do something fun.

For the harder bad days—those ones where it’s difficult to wake up—he showers you with cuddles and insists on staying with you. Come to his room, you can watch movies all day.

With the others, if they want him to shut up they’ll have to kick him out of the room. And if they expect deep conversations about their emotions, it’s unlikely to happen.

Reader is the only one Killer will engage in those emotions with. If you need quiet, he’ll silently play with your hair or massage your shoulders. And if you want to talk about those things which scare you most or cause you suffering… he’ll try. He’s not great at it at first. It’s been so long, he struggles to even feel strong negative emotions anymore. The damage to his soul is so widespread he’s not sure how much he can. But for you, with you, he’ll try again.

Dust is no stranger to bad days, and won’t shy away from the ugliness of them. He listens mostly silently when you talk about it, interrupting only with a gentle nuzzle against your neck. He’s the best to go to if you want validation—he’ll tell you your fears are frightening, relate to whatever dark feelings you experience. But he’ll always point out that you have each other now. You have your family now. So you’ll get through it.

Dust is quick to agree to spend the day in bed with you when you’re feeling bad. He’ll insist on you sleeping in and, when you drift back off to sleep, shortcut into the kitchen and announce that you’re both not coming anywhere today. When you wake, you’ve been moved into his room, Horror’s burning scented oils to calm you, and there’s a tray of sweets at the bedside. Expect a low-key day of binge-watching tv and gaming together.

Horror is the healthiest person to have around when you’re having a bad day, because he’s the only one that truly bothered to learn coping mechanisms once he left his AU. The first thing he does is ask what you need. Cuddles? A day together in the garden?

If you don’t know, he’ll get you started by calling in Cross to run you a bath. While the steam clears your head, he’ll make one of your favourite meals and burn some scented oils to make your room nice and calm.

Once you’ve eaten your fill, he’ll take you down to the gardens. That’s your special space. You can do some planting or weeding together if you’d like, but on a really bad day he’ll set you up in the temple or the sculpture grotto. He runs his hands through your hair, holds strawberries against your lips to bite into, talks about the plants with you, and gives you advice to help you get through the day. He knows best how to lead you out of a downward spiral.

Cross is at heart still a soldier. The best cure for a difficult day is to get outside in the morning! By the time you’re awake, he’s already done his morning workout, so he’d insist on taking you on a walk in the forest. He holds your arm, bringing you to fields of wildflowers and hidden creeks. He doesn’t push for a reason why your day is bad—sometimes, they just are. But when you talk to him, he listens close, and offers soft words of comfort. He’s not sure how to solve all of it, he’s still learning himself… but you can help each other.

For the rest of the day Cross acts as your knight, your skeleton-in-waiting. He cooks your favourite food, engages in your hobbies with you, runs a bath for you and washes your hair, and gives you plenty of sweet kisses on your hands and nuzzles as you cuddle together. On the worst of days, he walks you through the celestial baths—a series of Roman-bath inspired pools and steam rooms Nightmare has in the family palace.

Cross will continue caring for you like this for the rest of the week, until you insist that you’re alright now. He’s not disappointed you’re feeling better… it’s just… nice tending to you like that. Maybe you should do it again soon, on a day you aren’t feeling bad.

Nightmare feels it when you’re having a bad day. Whether you’re tucked in amongst his tentacles, pacing across the castle, or in another universe entirely. The slightest anguish from his beloved sets him on edge. He drops his books and paperwork or speeds back from a mission, moving in the shadows to your side.

If one of the other boys is there first, he lets them comfort you as they see fit. They enjoy caring for you. And besides, they are far closer to mortal than he. Far better at navigating relationships. Nightmare fears he may not know how to care for you as you deserve. Still… he observes from the shadows, popping in throughout the day to ensure you don’t worsen.

Killer is the only one who always knows he’s there and readily invites him to join. Horror welcomes everyone to spend time together in the garden; if he’s out there, Nightmare will often join him in caring for you.

But if Nightmare finds you first, he will personally see to your care. He won’t use his powers to remove your negativity for a regular bad day, but he will shower you with his affections. He’ll take you to the library or his private garden to exchange quiet conversation, have tea with you on your balcony with a tentacle unconsciously wrapped around your waist, or play board games with you in his study.

If you haven’t slept, he will use his powers to give you a calming sleep while kneeling at your bedside, ensuring that you don’t feel sadness for even a second in your dreams.

Occasionally, he may dare to risk bringing you to an overwhelmingly positive AU to spend the day together. Somewhere peaceful where you can search for new flowers together or pet all manner of strange animals. It is these days that spark rumours in the multiverse that few believe—for why would the embodiment of negativity venture into such a world for a mere human?

Error is much more helpful when you’re having a bad day than when you’re having a panic attack. If he sees you first, prepare to be yoinked to his quarters or the antivoid for some TLC. He’ll knit with you (or for you), watch movies, play pranks on unsuspecting universes through his portals, and spoil you with the best chocolate the multiverse has to offer.

On the really bad days, he’ll allow you to curl up against his side and slip your hand in his. Honestly, he doesn’t fully understand why you get like this. Maybe it’s because you’re human. Maybe it’s because you still believe you are more than just a glitch, an abomination of reality.

But when you look at him, eyes full of sadness and affection, he believes for a moment that he might be too.

[tabbywaslost]

Maybe killermare fluff headcanons?

Of course!!

1.

Killer sometimes uses Nightmare's tentacles as monkey bars or as slides when he is bored.

2.

Whenever Nightmare reads a book, Killer sits besides him trying to catch up to him reading because Nightmare can read REAL fast and Killer hates books but loves Nightmare.

3.

They are always sitting besides each other in all gatherings and everything. If the place is crowded, they will not leave each other's side no matter what happens.

4.

MY OWN MULTIVERSE!

They became a couple after The Fallen Star Sanses era. During that era, everyone helped each other out but Killer was different from everyone else when it came to Nightmare. Since Nightmare turned back into his passive form, he was powerless but Killer sorta became his personal guard and literally didn't leave Nightmare in any way possible and even got severely injured and almost killed while protecting Nightmare but he didn't stop. And Nightmare just realized that that man would actually do anything for him no matter what. He realized that Killer would even sacrifice himself for him. And also, Killer was able to get away with constantly flirting with Nightmare without having to run away before he gets a good verbal punishment because Nightmare had stopped physically punishing them by then.

5.

Their wedding was somewhat themed. It had references to their fav movies and fav books, and they requested that everybody wear silver or grey colors to their wedding because Killer was gonna wear black and Nightmare was gonna wear white. The best man at Killer's side was Color and the best man and Nightmare's side was Dream. Dream took the microphone for a long time though and started going on and on about his fun memories as a kid with Nightmare, how he wishes them happiness, and a lot, lot more. He was talking for nearly 2 hours until Cross pulled him aside. He continued talking to all the guests after the ceremony and nobody really complained, they were all happy to see him so hyped up at his brother's wedding.

6.

Nightmare took a sewing course from Error and made Killer a new jacket. Killer absolutely treasures that jacket more than he treasures his own life and only wears it on special occasions, absolutely REFUSING to wear it on missions because it could be harmed.

7.

When they first got together, Nightmare decided to keep it secret due to him not knowing how to tell the others yet. Some figured it out and some were in denial upon figuring out but nonetheless, everybody knew so there was no need to announce it and so they didn't announce it and just kept it as is.

8.

Since Nightmare has no prior relationship experience and is somewhat clueless on what to do when it comes to a relationship so Killer takes lead and does most of the relationship stuff. Nightmare sometimes takes inspiration from some of the characters in the books he reads and says some insanely affectionate stuff but gets INSANELY flustered upon hearing and "I love you" from Killer. Nightmare showers Killer with all sorts of gifts too.

9.

Nightmare and Killer have a small game that they play where they get an empty journal that's about 60-80 pages and they pick out characters names and places, then Nightmare writes on the first page and Killer writes on the next without knowing what Nightmare has written. The only information Nightmare gives him is what characters are in the previous page and where they are and Killer has to go off of that and write page 2, then it's Nightmare's turn for page 3, etc. And when they finish it, they sit down and read the absolute monstrosity that they wrote and laugh their heads off because the characters can be fighting to death in one page and kissing in the next.

10.

On nights where one of them can't sleep, he'll wake up the other and they'll just have long conversations about everything. Good memories, bad memories, conspiracy theories, gossip, etc.

I'm so sorry this is late, I was very busy and burnt out. My apologies!!

[paintbrushnebula]

I think now that Tangled the Series has been over for the better part of four years now, what makes me sad the most is that there were enough pieces left behind by the film to construct a compelling narrative for a strong continuation of Rapunzel and Eugene's story that wouldn't have required all this "bigger and more epic" stuff that the series made up in order to be interesting. 

And you can have big epic magical stuff, that's fine! I LOVE epic large-scale stories! But there's a difference between expanding your world by further developing its elements and themes, and just scaling up the adventure tenfold to be “bigger and better”—which is what I feel that the series did in the end. 

It’s funny, because I was already a fan of Tangled when I was little. I still remember being 7 years old sitting in that theater with my sister, actually breathless and in shock when Eugene drew his last breath. I had never seen a kids movie where a lead character dies.

(and I know that sounds absurd because there were Disney films before where a lead character dies and comes back XD look I was 7 and my parents weren’t people who knew many pop culture American movies at the time so I didn’t watch much that wasn’t Disney Channel or VHS films that my Grandma owned. To this day I’m still kind of trying to catch up on film culture XD)

Sorry to get off track but what I’m trying to say is, I was there when the series was announced and they revealed that promo art back in 2016, I saw the 30 second promo trailer, I watched “Wind in my Hair” when it was released on Youtube in February 2017 the morning before school and I was hyped for the rest of the day, and I remember watching Before Ever After’s premiere with my sister and was FLOORED that it was good??!! Like actually was gonna have a serialized overarching story and everything! God I’ll never forget Eugene’s verse where he pulls out that ring. I’ll never forget Rapunzel’s face when he gives her his proposal speech (before it went downhill that is), and I’ll always forget the last 25 minutes that take place  after Rapunzel’s hair grows back because its low-key pretty heckin boring! 

What hyped me was the relationship stuff, Rapunzel’s PTSD, the parent drama, everything that those first 30 minutes had that made me THINK we were in for an emotional story about Rapunzel’s life after the tower, I thought we’d get to see in detail how she’s gonna to grapple with her trauma, her new life, her new responsibilities, her new relationships, all that. And some of the series was that, a very small “some.” Not enough by any means for me lol

Because like, wouldn’t that have been a more interesting story to tell than the one we got? Ultimately Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure doesn’t feel like a continuation of Rapunzel’s story, it’s more like a Brand New Adventure that happens star Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert. I know that sounds weird and I might not be making much sense here but, did the story of a girl who stops a plague of darkness and fights a transdimensional demon blueberry ghost girl and has to reconcile with her “step-sister” HAVE to be about Rapunzel? Also like, just. NOTICE how that summation of the story of the series DOESNT involve Eugene in some way. You know. The hecking CO-LEAD of the film this series is based on. 

And like, there was so much story to be told with Rapunzel and Eugene WITHOUT the blueberry Disney Junior-giving ghost girl, the poorly written heavily contrived step-sister conflict, AND the big plague of darkness nonsense. Rapunzel and Eugene are two VERY tragic individuals. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM, IOUHWO4Y2IBBU3FN3FI

I’ll admit that I was more attached to the series than I was to the movie while it was airing, and even for like 2 years after it was over. I was younger and more immature and the big stakes and fresh new characters and magical adventures captivated me more than the focused drama of the movie. But now that I’m older, I realize that I resonate more with Rapunzel in the movie. NOT in any concerning “do you need help?” Kind of ways, just that I find myself thinking the way she thought, since I’m now around the age she was in the movie. The way I think about my future, my self esteem etc. I relate to how she feels inexperienced and fresh in the world despite being a young adult, because she hasn’t done any of those “big things” yet. And you wonder “how am I gonna do those big things? When do they happen? Will I know what to do when they happen?” I get it, Rapunzel, I really do. 

The series is kinda an afterthought to me now I guess. I still appreciate that it exists and I’m so happy it happened. In the beginning, it didn’t feel real when it was happening. Like a dream honestly. And like, Tangled the Series is literally 80% the reason I wanted to write fiction, so I’ll always be grateful for it. 

But holy kriff is the movie so much better heeheeeeeeeeee

[mjfass]

Happy Gilmore has been a thrice-yearly family movie tradition since 2012, so I was already hyped for the sequel since it was announced. When I heard Max was going to be in it, I immediately assumed he was going to play the smarmy rich son of the smarmy rich villain from the first movie.

After seeing that extended trailer, I've learned he actually plays Adam Sandler's son and if I'm reading the vibe right, a bona-fide comedic dumbass.

We're not getting MJF the scumbag. We're getting MJF the kangaroo-kicking, birthday party-throwing, double-clotheslining, opera-singing scumbag of the people

Yes! And oh God, I’ve seen just the trailer and I already can say he plays that “bona-fide comedic dumbass” to the perfection. We should really need to talk more about how funny, charismatic he is and how he had perfect comedic timing. I know this movie will show that. I literally can’t wait!

My mom and I LOVE Happy Gilmore, we rewatch it so often because it brings us so much joy, lol, and we watched the trailer and we couldn’t stop laughing and screaming, I swear. It’s just so exciting, so MJF (and Becky Lynch) make everything even better!!

[divineerdrick]

Games Workshop's NOVA Open Preview - Should Have Been an Email and Now I'm Worried

If you've followed me for a while you might know that I started this blog following over from another blog nearly entirely dedicated to 40K. It was last summer, 10th Edition was coming out, there were almost daily teasers and releases, and I wanted to see if I could make any meaningful commentary on it. Then I heard that Tumblr wasn't as much of a hellhole as it had become after Verizon bought them. I had been following some Tumblr Homestuck blogs and decided it was time to give the site another chance.

Side note: It is an improvement, but not much of one.

While I stopped blogging daily about 40K, I did still cover a lot of their reveal shows. I loved 40K reveal shows! I loved the commentator banter, I loved the community interaction, I loved seeing all the new things coming, and they were useful for planning out purchases.

In case you didn't know, 40K is expensive. Having advanced notice helps.

But this year, 40K changed the reveal shows. Instead of a live stream on Twitch with community interaction, the shows were changed to pretty bland prerecorded videos that are nothing but marketing hype. In almost all cases it's better to just wait on the WarCom articles than to watch the reveals now. They aren't as long-winded, you get better images of the miniatures, and it's easier to skip to what you're actually interested in. From following people who attend these live, it's even worse. You're crammed in a room with other convention attendees, just to watch movie without any meaningful interaction.

This just really sucks! I really liked the old shows. As much as hype is a weapon corporations use against us, it's fun to get hyped for something! And when you can interact directly with people from a company like this, you feel like there's a chance to get questions answered and concerns voiced. This even happened during a few of the old reveals.

But this one is just beyond the pale! After revealing some cool new Chaos Dwarfs for Blood Bowl and the new Stormcast models that will be coming out, they moved to the other systems showcased in the preview articles.

And we got nothing.

While they presented what they claimed were roadmaps, there's basically nothing to them. Each roadmap uses more text talking about what's already been released than what's going to be released. The only concrete confirmed releases are as follows:

Warhammer 40,000: Guard, Aeldari, and Imperial Knights are coming out in 2025.

Warhammer Age of Sigmar: We're getting a Death announcement SoonTM, new Spearheads for Orruks and Gitz, and supposedly something for all factions in 2025.

Warhammer The Old World: Empire and High Elves are slated for 2025.

Warhammer The Horus Heresy: Tanks! We're getting tanks, plural, in 2025! So that's at least two, possibly more, new tanks coming for the game!

Are you hyped yet?

Now, the chronologically attuned among you will notice that it is, in fact, still August. That's four whole months left of 2024. Now we have a new release and edition of Kill Team coming. We also have some previewed models that haven't been formally released yet. But even assuming that Death announcement happens before the end of the year, that's not a lot. In fact, the 40K road map specifically says, "With such a lot happening in 2024, it's time to take a breath, watch the balance, and enjoy the World Championship of Warhammer. Blood Angels end the year." While Blood Angels have not officially had their release yet, that release is imminent. That means there will be nothing 40K for 3 month.

I repeat, this road map says there are no unannounced new 40K releases in the lead up to Christmas.

So what's going on?

Let's talk about a potentially good explanation first. Games Workshop, like so many companies, saw amazing growth during the pandemic. But like all of those companies, that growth appears to have leveled off. Yeah, there are spikes in profits around new releases, especially 10th Edition, but nothing close to what they saw in 2020 or 2021. At the same time, they've been releasing new games, editions, and miniatures faster than ever before. But if they aren't bringing new customers in with these new releases, well existing customers are unlikely to want to spend even more money than they already are. And that's before we get to the blanket price increases that occurred over the last two years!

If the profits GW is seeing from new releases aren't in line with the production costs, GW might be reevaluating their release schedule. This is good new and bad news. The good news is that fans who enjoy multiple GW games and factions, like me, will have more time between releases we care about. More time to assemble, paint, and most importantly, save money. The bad news is that means some games might get left by the wayside. There are already worries that Warcry is dead. And that sucks because, in my opinion, Warcry is a better game than Kill Team.

But even if GW is going to be slowing down releases, I still can't imagine not having a faction release for their biggest game for Christmas.

So I have fears.

The most simple, and possible fear, is GW is starting to dial back on communication. This would be in line with the changes to many of their information formats, such as Warhammer Previews. This is bad. For almost a decade now, GW has been on that knife edge of being a largely neutral corporate entity. They're big enough and successful enough that they can do cool things that smaller businesses can't, all while treating their employees pretty well. But they're also big enough that their executives and investors are very obviously meddling.

And no, I'm not talking about female Custodes! That was a great decision that fits the lore and makes for a great way to expand the miniature line and community.

I'm talking about things like Warhammer+ and the negative focus it brought to fan content. I'm talking about the continued insistence on mandatory physical rule books in an age of digital media. And, of course, I'm talking about price increases and reduced model counts for already expensive products.

Up to this point, I personally felt the good and the bad have been balanced. But we've seen this kind of GW before. Before the old CEO was kicked out and Kevin Roundtree took over, GW was a silent and imposing edifice. Interactions with fans had dwindled to near nothing, and were often hostile. In many cases, kits and books were actually more expensive then than they are now, some even without inflation! It was during that time that I initially left Warhammer and didn't come back until the release of 8th Edition.

But I'm worried about something potentially worse too.

Even if GW is backsliding into old habits, and hostile investors and executives are having more sway, that still wouldn't explain not having 40K releases for Christmas! Even if we say, "Well maybe there's something going on that's delaying the release," that doesn't explain similar blank slates for their other games.

This much empty calendar in a lead up to Christmas screams reorganization. And since I don't see GW declaring Chapter 11 anytime soon, that leaves an unsettling possibility.

Buyout.

Amazon seems to have taken a keen interest in this relatively small British corporation. In addition to the planned Amazon Prime series and the short in the upcoming Next Level, there are rumors that Amazon is talking about a movie. But supposedly the Amazon Prime series stalled out in talks about the shows creative direction.

We all know what Amazon tends to do when they see a potential for profit but have a business partner they don't want to work with.

I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill here, but that should tell you how troubled I am by this Warhammer Preview. It really bothers me. I've honestly never seen anything like it since they started pushing Warhammer Community. And it really has me worried.

[mooncaps]

I do enjoy being pandered to with nostalgic imagery, but it also would've been neat to get something brand new.

What an absolute delight to see Hotaru happy after all these years of grim duty and tragedy.

More nostalgia.

Okay, I think I ship this. Unless they're supposed to be siblings, but they seem extra cuddly. I feel like I rarely know in this franchise when the cousins are actually lesbians and when the devoted and emotionally intimate men really are brothers even in the original. The 90's dub left lasting doubt in me.

This affected me a bit.

This also stirred something in me, which caught me by surprise.

And this affected me a lot.

If I'm being honest, I don't think my deepest heart is truly awake enough to fully appreciate this, but I definitely enjoyed it.

I'm probably gonna need repeat viewings, supplemental materials, and meta analysis to fully understand all of the details. The time travel seems to be a confusing mix of Back to the Future rules and Trunks rules.

I'm thankful that the story was able to be finished at all, but I still would've preferred seasons over movies. There's something to be said for that time spent between episodes, dangling on a cliffhanger, hyping and theorizing about what's to come, as well as for the time spent falling in love with the character and transformation music as it repeats each week.

Yasuharu Takanashi has definitely left a lasting impression on me. I caught half an episode of Boruto that my mom and step-dad were watching and immediately both recognized his style and enjoyed the score. And I definitely loved his work in Cosmos, even though I'm realizing that having time to sit with the music between episodes and hear certain themes repeat lets me savor the flavor even more.

Then there's also the time to let story beats breathe and the time to let characters make more of an impression.

It's been about ten years of hoping to see the missing Animamates fully realized, and most of them got the approximate screen time of a 90's monster-of-the-week (or less.) And I'm assuming their roles weren't very big in the manga (I can finally let myself read that now!) either, like how the Spectre Sisters had smaller roles in the Black Moon Arc than in the 90's counterpart, but I still feel like even they had a bit more presence than most of the Animamates got in this movie. Maybe it's more due to the time in between with the fandom making posts and art than the actual screen time, but either way I don't feel like I got enough of them.

At the end of the day we got what we got and I'm still grateful for it. When I first got on Tumblr in 2011, Crystal hadn't even been announced. As far as any of us knew, the 90's anime was all we would ever get and those manga-exclusive characters and scenes would forever stay in the manga. I remember the hype for this. I remember the bickering about this. I remember when we weren't even sure if the third and fourth arcs were going to happen at all, let alone the fifth. I remember the long and bumpy ride it's taken to finally get here. (Much as I've come to appreciate a little time between installments, ten years for five arcs is perhaps too far in the other direction.) This franchise had already given me a lot of memories and the last ten years with this reboot series have made even more.

I look forward to binge-rewatching the series as a whole, probably the English dub next time. It's gonna feel weird not having a new installment of this reboot to look forward to anymore. I'm really not sure how to process that fact right now.

[tobiasdrake]

I've been loving your Digimon Adventure recap series! I've actually never seen Digimon or really interacted with it much before, so I've been learning about it/vicariously watching the show through your recaps. Now I've started playing this fangame, Digital Tamers 2, that I'm hooked on! I just evolved my MachGaogamon to a MetalGarurumon, and now am starting to raise a Tsumemon (now a Keramon) - I guess they're the antagonist of one of the movies? Question-wise, I have 2: -When you were first watching as a kid, did you ever notice any of the inconsistencies or errors the dub made? Not the translation differences, of course, but the times where even within the show it didn't make sense, or they didn't include some important piece of information. -What Digimon series and/or movies have you seen (besides original Adventure) and what would you say is the best of them? I know there was some kind of reboot-type series in Adventure:, right? Was that good?

Ah, yes. We'll see them pop up when we get to Our War Game, a movie that takes place after the first Adventure series concludes.

*google google*

...I should check out this game.

Anyways, on to the questions.

1 - I don't remember very well, but I do recall being thrown off by certain things. There were a lot of minor "Huh?" moments but we couldn't exactly pause and think about a show back in the day so I'd often just wind up moving on to the next hype moment.

I didn't understand the plot very well but I didn't really know that I didn't understand the plot very well.

Since we're in the area of it, one thing that sticks out in recent memory is that I always found Puppetmon to be a boring villain and didn't understand why so many episodes were spent on him. My least favorite episode of the series was the one where he kidnaps T.K. to a house and then they just... run around and do nothing.

Which I now understand to be the result of everything they did in that house being impermissible on Fox Kids. Now, I am super enjoying Pinocchimon's arc.

(I also found T.K. himself to be a boring character in the first show back in the day, which I now understand to be the result of the dub overemphasizing his Kid Sidekick-ness and underemphasizing his strength, conviction, and personal growth.)

2 - I've actually never left the Adventure series before. ^_^;; Of the Digimon shows and movies, I have seen original Adventure, Adventure: Our War Game, Adventure 02, Adventure Tri, and Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna.

I got really hooked on this particular cast of characters, so as a kid when they announced that Tamers was going to be a whole new continuity with a whole new cast unrelated to the Adventure series, I took that as my jumping off point. Then I only ever came back when they announced new material for the Adventure cast.

I've heard a lot of good things about Tamers, though, and I'm looking forward to finally seeing it.

[neospokenworld]

WINTER 2025 ANIME FIRST IMPRESSIONS

It's a new year, and a new year = new anime season so let's start with the 4 I'll be watching!! (all in one post for better commodity)

ZENSHU

I knew about this one when it was announced, but other than that nothing else, so I went in with a mindset that ''it's about an animator + it's made by MAPPA + It's an original anime'' so what are my first impressions?

It was… Rather uninteresting in my opinion lol

I'm gonna say it here, I don't like the Isekai genre. I don't know but the tropes for it and the oversaturation have always put me off of it so I've only given it a chance once and it was with WataOshi and that one barely touches the Isekai bit and is more fantasy (Good anime tho, only went in 'cause it was yuri but ended up with a good taste, hopefully it gets a S2), I still wanna give a chance to a few ones that I've heard are good like Re:Zero; I'm a Spider so What?; Mushoku Tensei (Yes I know about Rudeus but I've heard that the anime is actually really good); and Shangri La Frontier, but for now I dislike the genre. So seeing that it suddenly turned into an Isekai was… a bit disappointing? I mean I wanted to see another anime about the industry like Oshi no Ko or that slowburn yuri about the Seiyuus (and even Look Back can enter this realm), but instead we got an Isekai and to be honest, I was only a tiny bit interested since Natsuko, our MC, said that the movie she was Isekai'd is a really depressing one so I'm wondering if that will play out in the story later.

Now, is there something good in my eyes about this? well yes, the music is nice and the animation is cool for the majority of the episode, and then the final part actually elevates it up to 11 and makes everything so hype that all I could say was ''wow!'', like for real that entire ''transformation'' scene where Natsuko gets her drawing booth to make the monster was just so good and hype to watch it's insane, so I would say that just for that it was worth watching it lol

I'll see if I get more into it or it'll become one of my drops in the future, but for now this episode was really good if you like Isekais, but for me it wasn't that much

MOMENTARY LILY

This was… Weird, but in a good way lol

Like, I knew of it because I saw someone saying that the opening is a tonal shift with the anime and well seeing it, this entire anime feels like it has conflictive feelings all around lol. The Opening is a metal song while the show is more slice of life, annd because of that the show feels really chill… Altho the scenario they are is quite the opposite with the post apocalyptic setting it has, but anyway there isn't like a lot to say, the characters are nice and the show is chill, soundtrack is really good and the rest is not bad imo. I have nothing to say about the story nor animation tbf so there's nothing else really, it'll be fun to watch since it feels that it'll go for the SoL element with some action stuff sprinkled in between so it'll be fun to chill out, gonna be keen on it and see E2 soon since it's already out lol

THE APOTHECARY DIARIES SEASON 2

(yes I know that poster isn't for S2 but I couldn't find one in good resolution so I had to do with one for S1 lol)

We're so back!!

So I saw the first season around the same time too, maybe a few months after since I remember starting it like a few days after it finished and honestly it was a really good time, a banger first opening that I still listen to this day and a good story that overall made it a very enjoyable time, so what did I thought of this first episode?

We are so fucking back lol.

This first episode really captured the nature and attitude the previous season had for the majority of the time, with such a nice and chill episode to start things off that, while not saying much other than introducing Maomao (cat) it was a really enjoyable time and makes me excited to see the rest of the season and what new stuff it brings to the table

I'm so glad to see Maomao and everyone again, I'm so hyped for this season!!

SAKAMOTO DAYS

And finally, the final entry and overall the most popular animanga that I'll be watching, I'm going blind on it so we'll see how everything develops

And what did I think of it's first 2 episodes? (because it realeased E1 and 2 for some reason lol) well…

It was fun.

Now it's not the greatest thing to grace the universe, it's first episode was okay tbh, but the 2nd one was actually much better and it made me more interested in everything, outside of that the animation and design is top tier from episode 1 and the ED is actually pretty good imo, also Sakamoto is a vibe lol. One thing I would say tho is that these first 2 episodes end up kinda odd, like it doesn't feel like an end to an episode but rather a regular scene, not a big complain tho but just wanted to point it out.

Either way this feels like it'll be a fun one to watch, we'll see how improves in the future (since a lot of people say that it's easily one of, if not the, best shonen manga out there rn, we'll see how true that ends up being)

We'll see how it goes but for now that I've seen only one episode except for Sakamoto Days I'll rank all of these as follows

Apothecary Diaries S2

Momentary Lily

Sakamoto Days

Zenshu

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Late Night with the Devil

Horror has been clawing its way back into the limelight recently and frankly I couldn’t be happier. Between all the films where filmmakers have used the genre as a vehicle to deliver social commentary or explore deeper themes like the works of Jordan Peele and Ari Aster, the PG-13 horror films that give younger viewers an entry point like M3gan and the FNAF movie, and stylish horror dripping in symbolism like The Lighthouse and Mandy, horror fans are eating pretty good! We even got a good Lovecraft adaptation, starring Nicolas Cage no less! Sure, there’s still the cash grab legacy sequels and the hot garbage horror fans have come to expect, but it seems filmmakers are treating the genre as grounds to experiment again so that, even if the results aren’t perfect, we’re getting a constant stream of innovative creativity.

And Late Night with the Devil looked like it might be one of the best films in this new wave of innovative horror. The concept—the film being a found footage “lost episode” of a late night comedy show—is really unique, and it gives a lead role to David Dastmalchian, who has shown incredible acting chops playing weirdo supporting roles. Positive reactions to the initial announcement and the first looks really built this up to be the next big horror smash!

…And then came the controversy. It was revealed that AI generated images were used to create certain pictures in the movie (specifically the intermission cards), and as this came to light in the thick of arguments over the subject of AI, this killed a fair bit of hype and caused many to state they’d boycott the film. Using such lazy methods as opposed to, you know, hiring an actual fucking artist isn’t what you do to endear yourself to audiences. Still, the ethics of AI usage aside, I still wanted to give this film a chance, and thankfully the movie turned out to be every bit as fun, refreshing, and innovative as I’d hoped!

Until it isn’t.

For most of the film’s runtime, it delivers exactly what you could have hoped for. We get fantastic setup framing the film as sort of a documentary, with a Michael Ironside-narrated introduction giving us pertinent backstory before diving in to the actual episode. The presentation is fantastic; from the grainy VHS look of the actual show to the black and white backstage footage, they did a great job of capturing the look and feel of a show from that era, with everything making sense as something that would be filmed for the show. It keeps this up for most of the runtime.

But just as the film is about to bring home the gold, it does a mass hypnosis sequence where we see the illusion of worms bursting out of a guy… but this clip is played back almost immediately, without the illusion. While the worm effect is great practical gore, it is the first sign that they’re willing to betray the conceit of the film for spectacle. And it only gets worse from here, as this leads right into a big finale with all sorts of overtly supernatural elements as well as video footage of another person’s hallucination.

And while the supernatural horror stuff has some cool moments, including a couple of gnarly kills and some solid black comedy, it really sort of deflates the film. The setup they went with really only works if you keep the supernatural elements ambiguous. The initial demonic possession scene is where the cracks start to show, but there’s still at least a little wiggle room there, but when we have someone split their head open and levitate while blatantly using magic it is really impossible to ignore. It’s even worse because the effects in the finale are really not as good as the filmmakers think they are, meaning they essentially sacrificed the believability of the movie for pointless spectacle that it didn’t even need! Up until this point the movie was up there with the found footage heavy hitters in terms of realism and commitment, sitting alongside the likes of The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield. But it decided it was better to try and have it both ways, to be some spectacular supernatural extravaganza on top of the found footage realism, and it falls on its face flatter than your create lost episode creepypasta as a result. If only there were hyperrealistic blood to be seen.

Maybe it’s just me, but I hate when a film that builds such great atmosphere with subtle, ambiguous horror decides to go whole hog on the spectacle. It’s my biggest problem with Hereditary—Ari Aster had created such a fantastic, unsettling, oppressive tone for the film steeped in the ambiguity of the events, and then the final act has spontaneous combustion and levitating corpses. But, crucially, Aster pulls everything back for the final scene, leaving on an ambiguous yet deeply disturbing note. It’s why I wouldn’t hesitate to call Hereditary a great film. But I can’t do the same here. Sure, it tries to pull things back at the very end, but by its very nature it fails to do so. You’ve already betrayed the basic premise of your film for your Hollywood ghost movie tricks, you can’t win us back now. You were at the head of the race, about to bring home the gold, and you tripped at the finish line.

I know I’ve been super harsh on the movie, but that’s because I do love it. It’s a really good movie for the most part! Dastmalchian in particular is absolutely fantastic, showcasing great range as his character Jack Delroy alternates between the corny comedic charisma needed of a late night host and the sleazy, desperate hunger for fame you’d expect from a 70s TV personality, all while never coming off as a truly bad guy. It really showcases Dastmalchian’s leading man potential, and whatever else I wouldn’t hesitate to call this a career highlight. I genuinely hope this opens more doors for him because he is genuinely and consistently great throughout, even when other aspects dip in quality.

And aside from the obnoxious and intrusive AI images (which are mercifully few and far between), it spends a good 80% of the film being stylishly immersive and engaging. This is a genuinely good movie, and I do recommend watching it! I just unfortunately have to throw in the caveat that it trips over itself at the end and doesn’t quite achieve the greatness we were all hoping it would.