#I want to have some control back
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#feeling like a leech#like a waste of space#like I don't belong#like I don't fit in#like I'm unwanted#even by my dog who would rather sit out in the hall than come cuddle with me#I feel so alone hugging the box with my mother's ashes as I write to my dad begging for him to sign over a bank account that's mine#I just want to move on with my life#I want to have some control back#I'm tired of things happening to me and me not making them happen#please just#let things go right
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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POV: Evil murder kitten tries to evil murder you in your sleep. She's desperate for a reason not to evil murder you because she does not want to.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#i know i've posted this one before#but i just can't get over how cute and adorable she is right here - she really looks like a startled cat#regardless of whether you sleep with her or not#the prism still temporarily broke her connection to the absolute and then returned it to her right when she was about to kill you#and it sparked an immediate crisis of faith because everything about that night is all wrong - except for you#you having no connection to the absolute causes her to doubt the extent of the absolute's control#but she also begins to question the absolute as she found peace in the silence - peace in the absolute *not* controlling her for once#even with the absolute having returned to her - she still wants a reason *not* to kill you#in that moment she clocked you as a potential enemy of the absolute and by her oath - she would be obligated to kill you#which is why the only reason you can get her to stand down is by proving to her that you are not an enemy#and it is pretty easy to convince her that you're not an enemy because she is that desperate for any excuse from you#minthara is not the kind of person who would back off and run from a fight - and is definitely not spooked about assassinations#and she most certainly has stabbed someone in their sleep before and has killed a lover#but she does not like to engage in fights that she does not think are necessary nor to kill those she does not have a reason to kill#the fact that she pulled away when you caught her and she didn't immediately escalate the conflict into a full fight#is a pretty big indication that she has some pretty extreme doubts about the absolute - and *she* does not see you as an enemy
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goodbye waynehouse, i have a job now
#i am back with hylics as humans stuff yet again#he's either going to Gibby's place to wreck his new yard installation that looks like a suspicious antenna to mind control the neighbourhoo#or just getting into his own house with horses and squirrels to mess with toilet storage systems#i kinda dont want him to be a plumber... maybe he's checking out ventilations or electricity circuits#havent thought that far yet#for more details you can look at the alt text but thats all i have for now#hylics#wayne hylics#decres hylics#some of them are bald (almost all) some of them have wavy hair (one). i mean it could be like a house rule?#or maybe its genetic? and then who are the parents? uhhhhh- runs away and hides#artstump
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MALUTHHH!!!!
#library of ruina#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#because ego gear. thumbs up . not sure if it counts or no im countong it#malkuth#malkuth lor#other patrons as well. and angela. should i?? tag?? maybe#just one (1) as a treat. as because theyre just a small part i suppose#yesod#hod#netzach#angela lor#MALKUTH!!!!! i havent drawn just her or just meant for her in awhile. glad to. missed you malkuth#i dont really know how to draw drimples. not really noticable i think... its okay ?#AHH ERMM OOPS#lobotomy corporation spoilers#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp#lobotomy corporation#malkuth lobcorp#i always fret over having too many tags. .. itll be okay......#i really like the idea of angela being huged. more specifically having someing kind of lunge/suprise hug her. because it isnt a suprise?#shed know because of her slower processing speed. so its less of a suprise heres a hug! and more of a really happy one that she willingly#allows herself to be pushed back a little by. my brain is pretty friend after drawing for a few hours straight but general idea#just any action that would be smthn like touching/taking. shed have to be comfortable to let it happen#anyways MALKUTH!! ahhh maljuth another doodlepage but for her because she sso 💥💥#for snow whites apple wanted to have her looking commanding. my control team sephirot queen pointing to where i must kill. im on it boss#dont know how well it translated iver from thought though. its okay
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greg said actually i wanna take YOU out and I'M gonna pay for it
#also it's so cute how he says 'visited' instead of just 'been to' like you can tell he learned how to talk from tv#tomgreg#greg hirsch#which side are you on?#fr why is this part not talked about much beyond the Thor Loves Poptarts-ification of greg loving cpk#tom says my gf is out. so let's go out to dinner. the moment greg understands that it's a serious proposal he's SO excited#and it's clearly NOT for any notion of fine dining. he doesn't ask tom 'where are we going'#no. he wants to go out with TOM!! he has a restaurant in mind that's a treat for him and he's excited to share that with tom#i think he is feeling a tiny bit snubbed at the end by the way tom refuses to let greg have the upper hand#like tom asked him out and greg literally asked him out right back. and rather than be excited tom is like no I'M doing the asking out!! lo#but yknow ultimately tom has his own thing that he already really wanted to share with greg#he IS delighted that greg has unrefined tastes bc it means he gets to treat him. he gets to be the reason for greg's awe#also he just thinks it's cute imo#and greg took to it as much as one can when they've already been more or less forcefed (much like the ortolan he eats lol)#anyway. tom's need to feel in control is his detriment bc greg wanted to treat him to some cajun chicken linguine and then fuck him silly#mine
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the idea this game posits that just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem, spite is currently having a lucanis problem. is everything to me. spite voice bitch you live like this???
#'rook. talk to him >:('#<- both people in this ongoing one person family therapy session. thank god my rook is a watcher I think they might get it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#spite#it's a good metaphor for trauma AND it's excellent da spirit lore building on a lot of things already established#and also. frequently hysterically funny. mary kirby has such a knack for Thematic Depth sneaking through#she did it with varric and storytelling and here she is again 'what like it's hard' style. god fuck EA so much#having to admit that the thing happened and was not in his control and that he's different now and can't go back is harder to deal with#than the actual ways he's different now when engaged with honestly. I mean. yeah. yeah. trauma breaks and rearranges a self#and no one goes 'great love this I'd like some more' right after that#add all the cultural fear and shame around demon possession in andrastian thedas and I would not be doing well either haha#but also. poor spite in the middle of all that being like physical reality is already so weird but I really don't want this to be happening
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#21 - Wall
Masterlist
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Let me know your thoughts in the reblogs <3
☕ Buy me coffee ☕
#really just want to see agni (and grace) being cool 😳 if that's not obvious enough#忠 on hatz's back means loyal#the sky is filled with shinsu loops (inspired by water dragon heavy storm technique but less destructive in exchange for wider range)#also if you haven't connected the dots yet. grace and jinsung are having a spar somewhere. and Agni is keeping it inside a massive barrier#he set up the barrier with shinsu devices ofc. not purely Agni's power. we can see him doing some typing there since he controls it#Also I forget if i have it written on future chapter or discarded it on this update script. but just in case i don't. here's an explanation#the barrier was meant to keep the chaos inside to stay inside. but because the shinsu on lower floors aren't as concentrated as upper floor#and shinsu inside the barrier was condensed with Grace's power. If the barrier was completely blocked off it'd be easy to suffocate inside#so they need the outside shinsu to be able to cross inside or Agni wouldn't be able to stay inside. Thus I imagine it like a one way valve#it's easy to cross from the outside but hard to get out without deactivating the barrier. and that was why Hatz was trapped#Laure on the prev chpt must've noticed that the flow of shinsu got siphoned somewhere and thus the 'something is wrong' feeling#but no one else notice bc it'd prob feel like a passing breeze. considering with how big a floor is#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin comic#my comic#my art#khun#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#hatz#rak wraithraiser#rak
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Hi! I have been thinking about Marc and the ways he expresses his anger... giving the cold shoulder... the silent treatment if you will (he will speak ABOUT vale but not TO vale let alone WITH vale)... need your input please....
hmm good question.... this got. STUPID long sorry
uhhh marc is, in general, good at keeping his (negative) emotions in check. like i think marc loooooves to think of himself on track as a mature, controlled, and rational dude. above distraction. a killer. a cyborg. idk his dad has talked about how he doesnt really complain much about injury and there's also allll these stories about what a mature kid he was... so i think that when he was young - ESPECIALLY in a racing sense because he was so much younger than most of the people he was competing against - he internalized that in order to do all the stuff he wants to do racing-wise, he reallyyyy has to keep a level head and not well. act his age! and i think that extends to a lot of how he manages his emotions today (at least in a public setting). even in places where im pretty sure hes PISSED (sepang. phillip island 2013.) he just kind of. visibly contains himself. not a confrontational dude in the outright sense he'll clench his jaw and try to work through it.
which is part of what makes his valentino-oriented crazy so interesting. bc people were noticing that marc in 2015 was kind of. being weird. as his and valentino's relationship deteriorated. like they were both outwardly very much like we can keep it on track :) until the big fallout towards the end of the year but uhhhh. well marc has said that vale started pulling back in september of 2014 like he was noticing SOMETHING, and they clashed on track A LOT in 2015, and i think marc sensed vale cooling on him and freaked a lil. hashtag neurotic 22 year old moments. he is my favorite crazy ex girlfriend. like usually he IS good at separating that stuff out and managing his emotions in the racing sense but in assen that year when vale overtook him off track after they made contact he raised a BIG stink with race direction and actually had some uh. not especially chill quotes about it. (it should be noted marc was also flopping for the first time in his motogp career. like in his brain he stopped winning AND vale stopped talking to him he was goin through it) adn all the reporters noticed too they were like. why werent you sucking and fucking in parc ferme. like vale's left turn wrt to spaniard sabotage comes outta nowhere but people WERE noticing that things were changing. i bet marc noticed too. BUT they are not the type of people to talk about these things so they keep it to vague flirting in presscons and escalating on-track tension slash proxy wars waged in race-direction contexts... liek truly you are 22 you are not going to keep your championship title and your hot sports idol bestie is no longer flirting with you on twitter and you COULD just talk to him about that but you'd rather DIE so youre going to ask honda to back you up to race direction about your last race where you DEFINITELY lost bc winning is the ONLY thing thatll make you feel better. even though thatll help convince your hot sports idol that you are engaging in a benedict arnold level betrayal scheme against him. an insane time to be marc marquez. 2015 really kind of is a study on how both of them handle losing: NOT WELL.
and then the thing about sepang is that then the lid is blown clean off and marc spends the ENTIRE race being annoying on purposeeeee. hes so fucking pissed and hurt at valentino that he decides to get under his skin for REALSIES instead of focusing on his race. like idk he probably would have fought hard for the win without the drama that how he works but uh. i think he was being annoying specifically to bite at vale's edges. and part of that is bc marc is naturally and effortlessly annoying. but i think part of it was SPITE. like his team advised him not to speak on anything from that presscon and he didnt, but he can still fuck him over on track. get under his skin. like he cant tell vale to his FACE that he's angry and confused and hurt. but he CAN let him know on that fucking racing line. where he cant be ignored. idk like i cant see marc letting anyone else get under his skin like that.
AND another big ass exception to the marc marquez anger management philosophy is from misano 2019 where vale messes with his qualifying lap. a lovely anon sent me some videos of marc talking to the press and jesus christ i dont think ive ever seen him angrier oh my god. AND the anon also linked the race from that weekend where he won and he celebrated harder than ive seen him celebrate some TITLE wins like he went. notably nuts. the commentators were all like uhhhh. he mustve REALLY wanted to get one over on vale adjfhlkdh... idk if any of this answered your question but his relationship to his emotions fascinates me hes so weirddddd. and its interesting to me that he can shrug off jorge ruining his last race at honda and be friendly but also be like. kind of aloofly pissed at bezz. because of valentino! he can repress the rest of it, but valentino shines through the cracks.
#its interesting bc theres also this tension with him where he keeps all of this tightly controlled and then he also REALLY wants you to know#about it. like in his docuseries hes like okay i know we have to talk about valentino :/ which is CRAZY bc he is producing that series#and its about his comback from injury. he could have EASILY left it out but he wanted to set the record straight#and also pull the punch/make it seem like hes no longer invested by saying he doesnt wanna talk about it#idk i think he was smart to keep his mouth shut in sepang 2015 but it CLEARLY cost him#like i think his own reservedness confines him sometimes and he chafes. and it bubbles out. like marc dont you just wanna go apeshit.#anyways this isnt even my entire marc and anger thesis like i need to go back to grad school lmao#callie speaks#motogp#asks#marc marquez#rosquez#tbh. i should just write some fic. hmm.#long post
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horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)
horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)
#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force#ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale#just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3#PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD#mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions#she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want#but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust#(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him#its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i#after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were#LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill#itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but#just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3#i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN#ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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posting that sketch yesterday made me remember just how much i love my taashath so i did another doodle <3
#dai#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#da inquisitor#the inquisitor#adaar#inquisitor#inquisitor adaar#taashath adaar#some fun facts about her that im hiding in the tags!!#taashath was born under the qun and used to be a tamassran! the left the qun when she discovered one of her#children- her last child in fact- had magic. she didnt want him to be taken as a saarebas and so she tried to leave with him#her kid was killed in the process of leaving :(. she snapped and. surprise. she has magic too. shes just done a really good job of hiding it#she manages to escape with the help of one of the soldiers assigned to protecting her (meraad who another inquisitor in a different run)#but doesnt exactly remember How. all she remembers is waking up on the shore of wycome without meraad#eventually she was found by the valo-kas and taken in by them. they helped teach her how to properly control her magic and they took care of#her as she slowly got back on her feet.#and then she became the inquisitor.#she allied with the mages. conscripted the wardens. and made celene gaspard and briala shake hands. she also sacrificed loghain in the fade.#she doesnt have a canonical romance BUT. she had a few flings with some of the others and spent years pining after vivienne.#she ends up close friends with dorian bull cole and sera! she... does not end up friends with blackwall. but she does spare him#she Was close with solas at the start of inquisiton but she struggled to connect with him. his interactions with some of the other#companions didnt help. but she does care about him!! its just. difficult. it was difficult with sera and dorian at first too. and bull#she is completely Unsure what to think of varric but they are friends. and taashi absolutely adores josephine. leliana scares her just a bit#and she struggles to intetact with cullen but she does care for him. cassandra ends up as her divine (from a game glitch i made canon) even#though she did everything she could to get vivienne on the throne.#shes also trans!!! very big bonding point between her bull and krem is that she is aqun-athlok. everytime dorian or varric mentions mae she#goes :0 as well. uhhh yeah! i love her sm. if anyone has any questions pls pls 🥺🙏 send em
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"My... Wheel..."
#boonboomger#boonboomger spoilers#super sentai#bakuage sentai boonboomger#genba bureki#bun orange#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#translation: over-time#subtitles added by me#i will probably gif the scene between genba and madrex at some point... hopefully soon (?)#i'm behind on some stuff but i'll try#anyways i really like this scene#in an earilier episode blog it's insinuated that genba might like rooftops to feel closer to home and i think that adds a bit to scenes#where he's on the rooftops like when he's training it's like a reminder of what he's training for and the night before he leaves#it's like he's contemplating and choosing his revenge for his home#here it's him wanting to hold his vengance but realizing that doing so is only making the fight harder for himself and he's trying to fight#a losing battle that disrace doesn't even need to push for him to lose in it's all self-sabotage playing into disrace's hand#it's seeing mad rex and seeing that the boonboomgers accept him completely that clicks things into place for him#he cannot win in this state and he cannot play into disrace's hand but unlike madrex genba has the resources and support he needs#to take back control and actually have a chance in defeating disrace but he cannot let his rage blind him bc that's just what he wants
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One day
One day I hope people realize that Kitsunami already "broke through his programming" back by issue #56 of Idw Sonic
He had an entire mini arc where he dealt with being without Surge for the first time, and in the real world. He met Sonic and his friends directly, tried to work out what his purpose would be without Surge in his life (gave it a shot trying to devote himself to Sonic, seeing him as the next best thing after Surge). And when it was all said and done, he decided after experiencing more that at Surge's side is where he wanted to be.
As of the recent IDW issues, Kit isn't sticking with Surge "because of programming" and "because he just needs for other characters to friend him and turn him into a better person". He is at her side because he wants to be. He protects her and aids her because he cares about her, not just because he's serving the strongest guy in the room. And he's not interacting with others because he's decided not to give a shit about anyone else other than Surge (because from his pov, even the "good guys" are fake. From his pov, everyone is someone trying to lie and manipulate their way into pulling him and Surge to their side)
Kit already has decided what he wants to do with his life. And he decided it on his own. Not because of anyone else's wants or wishes. That's the whole point of his speech at the end of #56.
He's burying whatever his and Surge's past is and moving forward with his conviction to be with Surge because it's what he wants.
#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic comics#perverted bond#surge the tenrec#kit the fennec#kitsunami the fennec#idw sonic issue 56#to be honest I actually despise the fandom's overuse of 'Starline's programming'#because they treat Surge and Kit as people whose entire selves have been dominated and controlled by a set of code that makes them as robots#Essentially they treat Starline's hypnotism and 'coding' as a strict set of rules that's hard af to break#When the truth is that they're more of a set of heavy suggestions and guidelines to fall back on when they have nothing else to return to or#nothing else to compare to their own experiences#You can visually see in the comic as they ''diverge from their programming'' simply because it clashes with their personal wants/feelings#(For instance‚ how after actually meeting Surge in Imposter Syndrome‚ he is never again the dutiful fox that would do anything she asked#ever and the happiest he could be about handing his life to her on a silver platter no matter how she treats him. rather‚ he falls back on#serving her because he has no other purpose to fall back on‚ but he performs it unenthusiastically without receiving positive reinforcement#and to the bare minimum‚ as if he's just doing his job)#This topic is a bit nuanced‚ but I think IDW is less focused on them fully 'breaking their programming' as a robot storyline might go#and more focused on them solidifying just what it is they want to do with their lives and how they live it#Many people miss that Kitsunami has had his defining moment and knows what he wants to do with his life now because they don't think it's#possible for him to live a future he wants/needs unless he 100% rejects everything Starline did to him and Surge and chooses a purpose#completely separated from any 'programming'#And I'm sorry but I think some of you need to ask if a future as a good boy fox hero who gets entirely new friends and family outside of#Surge and is barely associated with her and is also just a normal sweet guy is something that he actually wants/is projected to receive#or if YOU specifically decided what's best for him. Bec#Because 'If I was in his position obviously I would want X' or 'If he was my kid I would want him to become like X for the sake of his own#happiness'#It's fine if that's your headcanon or your au and you own it. But recognize that this current Kit likes who he is and he knows what he wants#to be. He's a smart fox‚ and he doesn't need anyone out there to pledge to save him and fix him. He doesn't want fixing. He wants to spend#the rest of his days with Surge making her happy (because it makes him happy). He doesn't want for himself what everyone else wants for him.
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like i said, truly fascinating people on this app!
#oh this takes me back this feels like some good old 2014 tumblr drama#first of all don't be publicly disrespectful if you don't wanna be called out for being publicly disrespectful! crazy concept!#second of all i made a point to mention that no one should look you up and be rude to you. if anyone did i don't agree with their actions-#but i don't control them. once again you shouldn't have been publicly rude if you didn't want people to see you being rude!#third of all......you're pulling the minority card.......buddy you think i'm a cishet white man cause i'm not.....anyway#actually you came onto my (a minority's) blog and was rude to me (a minority) and then sent 30 asks to me (a minority) 🥺🥺🥺 /s#me.txt#delete later
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Reading the webtoon and…
Does this imply that Kim Dokja also tried to write a questionnaire for her to fill in since she wouldn’t speak to him, that either he 1) never gave her in the end (especially if he couldn’t find her after she was released) or 2) gave it to her and she STILL refused to answer?
Because that is so so so so awful. It was already bad but if he tried so many ways to get her to speak and she still gave him no response, regardless of her reasoning… isn’t that still directly choosing to cut herself fully out of his life? Why in the hell did she lie for his sake and allow him to visit her if she wanted to never speak to him again?
I know everyone claims Kim Dokja is just like her in sacrificing himself for loved ones, but at least he tries his best to stay with them and to keep them in his life. He still chooses sacrifice, but it’s not because he intends to never return. He always returns (even if much later than planned).
The only time this differs is with 51%, when he STILL tried his best to stay with them - at least as much as he could.
I sometimes like Lee Sookyung, but I am mostly still SO mad at her for completely ignoring her child since he was 8 years old. Especially when he must have looked like shit any number of times from being mistreated and bullied by family, friends, army, employers.
But maybe that’s just the fragment in me being eternally pissed with her. She DOES love him, but like he says in the webtoon in this chapter - maybe such truths are painful enough to be false anyways, because they’re just SUCH bullshit. That’s not how affection should work, if you actually care about someone and want them to be happy.
#RAWWRGHHH I WANT TO SHAKE HER SO MUCH#LOOK AFTER YOUR KID#and if you can’t do that because of circumstances at least ACKNOWLEDGE HIM#yes I do know she cared and it’s just that she mistakenly believes he’s better off this way without her but like#then WHY does she still insert herself back into his life when he’s finally stopped trying to get her to speak?#yes yes others have great analyses on her and their relationship and I usually agree with their logic but it’s still. So. Hard. to like her#but then I remember that this story was the little Dream’s wishful thinking to cope back then on his own#and so maybe in his world Lee Sookyung never ever would speak to him again#he just wished she would so he wrote it down as happening for This older version of him#and that’s somehow worse because like#even in the story where he got her to speak to him again she still won’t speak so he has to force the words out some way (via outer god)#and if that’s true then it’s still just his interpretation of her actions and choices#and not her own since she never told him#so like ARGGHHH#but I like to believe that characters have autonomy despite their respective author’s efforts in documenting them#so she still chose to speak all of this too and he would have accurately interpreted her this way because she controls what she says#even if he (little Dream Kim Dokja) is the one writing it down as wish fulfilment fix-it fic#a fix-it for himself and not just for the other people he loves#😭😭😭#orv#orv spoilers#omniscient reader’s viewpoint#lee sookyung#kim dokja
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My biggest issue in Epic the Musical is Odysseus, actually. In this essay, I will....
#good god I hate his (lack of) character arc#if you want me to believe he is a monster then he gotta be consistently!!!! monstrous!!!#but no he is constantly allowed to be a poor pissbaby because portraying him as anything *gasp* morally dubious is bad#idk i don't know anything about the og myths but to me Epic's Odysseus bounces around between moods far too fast but he is always allowed t#reset back into what he has been from the start#none of his angst feels earned at any point because basically all the “bad choices” he's been put into have been outside of his control#except maiming the sirens and sacrificing people to scylla#which feel so out of character at that point to me because the next song he's whining to Zeus to not make him choose between him and his me#bitch if you were willing to sacrifice them two seconds ago why not now#why not have odysseus be the one to suggest sacrificing his men instead of him to show how far he is actually willing to go#but noooo his hand needs to be forced because???#at that point in the musical I feel like he should've been far more cruel so the Ithaca saga will actually feel like something#gives this man some agency to be a fucked up guy by himself. please.#it would've made the poseidon fight even more satisfying. he's capable because he has grown so cold. but no#idk maybe I'm missing the point but ugh#I saw a great comment unrelated to this that was like#“if you aren't comfortable with dark implications in your stories then don't write dark stories”#which I feel like applies here so well#epic the musical critical
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