#I wanna yell and yell about it for hours but I have to go to sleep for my last day of work before winter break

[gr4c3fu-1]

You think youre strong..? | Choi Seung-hyun (t.o.p) x fem!reader

#—;; summary: you and your boyfriends group messing around before a show! (Req from someone i cannot find im sorry.)

#—;; word count: 1k

#—;; warnings: none this is ALL fluff.

#—;; a/n: this might me horrible i havent written a fic in literally years. (ive also got someone from school who follows me. If u see this lily hhhiiii………… you see nothing.)

————

The boys were about to perform, You being apart of their crew was ironic, because you fell in love with one of your clients when you obviously werent suppose to..

Nobody knew of course other than the insiders, but it was still a risk to be in public together.

Sitting in the green room, leaning against your boyfriend Choi Seung Hyun as everyone scrolled on their phones mindlessly made you upset.

You huffed and slammed your phone down onto the couch cushion next to you, making a loud thump! catching everyones attention.

“Guysss we need to socialize! Youre all acting like a bunch of screen-agers.” You groaned, shooting up out of your seat quickly and snatching their phones out of their hands while still stunned.

Multiple groans and “aw come on!”’s errupted from the 4 boys.

“Now. Lets play some games! We have HOURS until you have to go on, so lets do something.” You said sitting back down between your boyfriend and Ji-Yong who was sat on the other side of the couch.

“Like what. What could we possibly do?” Ji-yong stated unenthusiasticly.

“Welll… we could play never have i ever!” You suggested excitedly but all the guys quickly dejected, claiming it was a “girly game.”

You thought long and hard for a game they would actually enjoy playing, and wasn’t too “feminine” or “childlike.”

“..how about arm wrestling? Thats more ‘masculine’ isnt it?” You suggested looking at the boys who immediately stumbled to their feet eagerly.

“Okay who wants to go first, i can ref!” You stated smiling. The men eager to actually do something fun threw a blanket of happiness over you.

Seung Hyun immediately raised his hand, aswell as Taeyung.

They sat at the opposite sides of the short table, settling themselves.

You placed your hand ontop of their interlinked hands, watching as the boys glared at eachother.

If looks could kill, they would both be sliced to shreds.

“3…2…1!” You released their hands, Daesung and Ji-Yong cheering for their mates.

“Go!! Cmon Seung hyun, you havent been working out for nothing have you?!” Ji-yong exclaimed, clapping his hands in a hype manner beside him.

And lord, he wasnt wrong.. that gorgeous mans arms were no joke, when he wore short sleeves (which was very rare) it was your favorite thing to just cling onto them.

“Youre really gonna let him win against you? Think about it. Youve arm wrestled countless men stronger than him and won!!” Daesung yelled loudly, slamming his fists on the table next to where their arms rested.

You could see the two boys faces, as they strained to win.

Taeyungs hand started slowwwllyy bringing Seung Hyuns hand lower and lower, signifying his (amost) win.

The relief on Taeyungs face was evident, until Seung Hyuns hand swung quickly and Taeyungs knuckles hit the table.

He yelled loudly at his loss, standing up quickly out of anger.

Seung hyun stood up aswell, giggling tauntingly

“Ha ha haaa!! You thought i was gonna let you win?!” He strutted around, pointing at his opponent.

“Yeah yeah whatever blegghhh” Taeyung muttered, sticking his tongue out at him.

Your boyfriend just kept going on and onnnn at his mate, which you couldnt help but feel a litttle bit bad for.

“I wanna arm wrestle too, Seung Hyun.” You exclaimed, smiling.

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Oh yeah? Just so you can whine when i win in 0.52 seconds in?” He chuckled

“Im gonna win. You’ll see!! Ive been working out actually.” You mentioned, flexing your arms dramatically.

“Yeah whatever, get over here.”

You sat across from him, getting settled while ji-yong was now the ref.

“3, 2, 1, go!” He said, releasing you both.

You stared into his eyes, with every sign of struggle on your face (which wasn’t exactly all true).

He chuckled, while toying with you, easily pushing your hand up and down.

“Ow ow ow—!!” You yelped, gripping your arm while still pushing.

“What? Whats wrong??” Your boyfriend said in a panick, immediately ceasing his pushing.

Your whole demeanor shifted, from a scared and hurt face to smirking and shoving his hand down.

You stood up quickly whooping in victory. “WOOOO. i TOLD you id win!!! Hows your ego now?” You said cheerily

He looked at you in disbelief, his jaw practically to the floor as you jumped around, the boys all giving you high fives.

“I cant.. believe you.” He muttered, with genuine shock on his face.. almost dissapointment.

You noticed he hadnt gotten up or moved, causing you to panick.

Did he take it THAT serious?

You stood next to him “wait im sorr-“ but you couldnt get out what you wanted to say before he picked you up and threw you on the couch, a huge smile on his face

“I cant believe you’d pull the OLDEST trick in the books on me!” He hollered.

“OHHHH HE GOT YOU!!” Taeyung yelped, pointing at the two on the couch practically wrestling.

You tried to shove him off, giggling ecstatically as he tickled you relentlessly.

He gripped your wrists, holding them in place, this intense moment of keeping his deep brown eyes locked onto your own.

“You think youre the strong one, huh? What about now?” He teased, his grip holding tighter onto you.

You couldnt help but giggle nervously, as you stared into your boyfriends eyes.

“Okayyy..! Okay you can take the win.. i cheated..” you muttered, a bright blush on your flustered face.

Even though he was your boyfriend, you couldnt help but feel like you were a kid with a crush on him still.

He gazed into your eyes, debating on messing with you more but deciding against it, (you were screwed after their performance though, and you knew it.) loosening his grip on your wrists, as you leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips, before rolling out from under him.

He scoffed as he stood up, shaking his head as Ji-Yong wiggled his eyebrows at the both of you while the rest jokingly yelled out in high-pitched voices.

“Ewwww!!” “Oh my gawsh theyre kissingggg!”

“You guys are like our parents.. arguing all the time, and when you kiss we all cringe and laugh!” He exclaimed teasingly

[soulidarity]

beach date

rafayel x mc

mc is self conscious about wearing a bathing suit, which leads to her not wanting to go swimming with rafayel

fluff and comfort

it was odd, the amount of excuses that he had heard from her mouth about the same subject

"its a bit too cold"

"i did my hair today"

"i dont have more clothing"

the first few times, he thought nothing of it. sure it was strange that he knew it wasnt a hair wash day but maybe she had strayed off from her routine.

after the 15th time, something was up.

"are you afraid of me?"

she looked at him, bewildered.

"what does that have to do with anything?"

"are you afraid that being in the water with me might trigger something? i swear the boat thing was just because of where we were, that wont happen again"

"it has nothing to do with that-"

"then are you afraid of the ocean? cutie you should know better than to doubt my ability to protect you. i am the god of the sea after all, no harm will-"

"rafayel its seriously not about any of that, im not afraid of that"

"then what is it?" he cut her off, his tone a bit more serious than what he intended. "i mean, i dont understand how you dont just want to dive in. not only is the ocean beautiful, but its crazy hot outside-"

"its because i hate wearing bathing suits!"

rafayel looked at her, confused.

that... that was it? seriously? he didnt see the issue at all

"is it cause... of the texture...? or are you worried about the sun?"

"i just... dont like how i look in them. thats it, can we drop it? im really sorry rafayel..."

he paused before smiling at her warmly, "sure. what are you wearing tonight for the exhibition?"

a few weeks passed, the subject never really leaving their minds but neither one commented on it. rafayel would regularly head down to the beach to go swimming, while shed stay back and work on reports.

it was one of those times when rafayel noticed someone entering the beach, he got closer to the shore to see who.

there she was, sunglasses, sunhat and one of his big shirts she had stolen. shyly, she set her stuff down on a blanket on the sand, sitting down next to them as she waved at him.

he quickly ran towards her, a bit clumsily because water and sand arent the best enviorment to run in, with a big smile on his face.

"cutie! you came!"

she handed him a towel, which he refused

"im gonna go back in, so dont worry. are you... coming in?" he asked as if he was dealing with a scared animal that could runaway at any moment.

"ill think about it, let me get used to this little by little, is that okay?" she looked up at him, his smile bigger than ever

"its great" he kissed her forehead "take your time, thank you for trying. it means a lot. im gonna go back in, if you need me just yell"

about half an hour had gone by, the lemurian still in the water.

"fuck it, rafayel! could you look the other way, im gonna go in!"

he quickly nodded, standing up from his swimming position and facing the horizon. what a beautiful sunset.

he heard the water moving closer

"can i turn now?"

"no. dont. can you walk backwards a bit closer? i dont think i can reach the bottom so deep in"

"of course"

as he did so, he felt two arms wrapping around his waist, quickly followed by a chest being pushed against his back, her chin resting on his shoulder.

"hi..."

"hi cutie, wanna go in deeper?"

"no, im not that good of a swimmer"

"does the water cover your chest?

"you know im not that small, its a bit above my waist"

"how about we go a bit deeper, you tell me when it reaches your shoulders. that way the water will cover you, i can turn around and if a big wave comes ill help you out. sound good?"

"i guess?"

the couple walked together towards the sunset in an incredibly uncomfortable matter due to their position, until eventually she told him to stop. after a brief pause, he turned around.

"hello cutie"

"we already said hi"

"i know, just wanted to be polite to the prettiest sight"

"the sunset is way prettier, you should look at that"

"hm nope! youre prettier"

"you arent even seeing it"

"dont need to, those pink skies could never compete with you cutie" she rolled her eyes at his comment

"thank you for being patient with me"

"thank you for trying"

[pearlescentparade]

THIS IS SO CUTE i hope i can do it justice🫡🫡

🟥🟦 red & blue o older sibling! reader 💝

it's early. the blue morning sky is incredibly pale in contrast to the vivid yellow-orange light emitting from the sun. sleepy bizville is bathed in a warm yellow tint, contradictory to the cold breeze of the early hours that sweeps through the town. at this time, most people are asleep like they should be. you are "most people".

until your sleep is interrupted by an small yet rapidly enthusiastic rapping on your door. "ughhhhh..." annoyed and unwilling to rise, you turn over in your bed in the hopes that your visitor will leave with time. whoever it is, they can buzz off! who's even awake at this hour?!

"WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!! COME OUT AND TRAIN WITH US!!" "..pretty please!"

evidently, red and blue are. and you know they won't leave until you face them. so, with another groan, you toss your blanket off and drag yourself out of your bed to get the door. the pair is completely geared up and beaming with energy that is nigh impossible to be summoned by any adult, in contrast to your messy sleepwear and overall tired appearance. they seem to light up at the sight of you nevertheless.

"c'mon, get ready!! we gotta practice a lot if we wanna be as strong as boss!" with no regards to your personal space, red takes a great step forward into your doorway while yelling like he wants to wake the neighbors. "then why not go and bother him instead of me? i don't remember signing up to babysit you goobers.." seriously, noobador needs to pay you considering how often you have to look after them. you go to close the door, but pause when you hear blue meekly pipe up. "the.. the boss is out today... we'd be home alone, and he was worried that something could happen to us... so we said we'd be with you..!" you draw out a long sigh, "i'm not really interested in hanging out with babies this early. and besides, you guys have each other, you'll be fine.. now shoo!! i'm trying to sleep!" you attempt to slam the door on them, but once again you are stopped. this time, by the sound of.. sniffling. slowly creaking the door open, you are met with the duo on the verge of bawling.

"aauaaa..." "uwaa....." red and blue peer up at you with round eyes shining with tears and trembling lips, ready to start blubbering. you grimace at the sight. ugh, they always knew how to get you. "..fine!! i'll get you ice cream after training if you don't cry, you two have ugly crying faces and i don't want to see them!" as you offer the compromise, you retreat back into the house and pull a hoodie over yourself to try to look more presentable before you go out with them. "YAY!! big sib is the best!!", they cheerfully exclaim together from outside. embarrassed, you stammer out, "i-i'm not related to you goofballs! quit acting like i am!"

you keep your promise and take red and blue to an ice cream truck after training. however, they seem like they're struggling with deciding on what flavors to get. "rocky road.. or mint chip... hrmm...." red studies the menu printed on the side of the truck, as if picking a flavor of ice cream is a life or death decision. "uwa... there's too many to choose from.. what are you planning to get?" blue curiously looks to you and gently tugs on your shirt to grab your attention. nonchalantly, you shrug, "ehh, probably cookies and cream-" "OOH, cookies and cream is good! let's get it!!" getting the attention of the ice cream seller, red stands on his tippytoes to reach the window. "three cookies and cream ice creams!!" you protest at your immaculate taste being stolen, "wh- HEY, don't get it just because i am!! freakin' copycats.." "well if big sib likes it, it HAS to be good!!!" "yea!" they don't even look the tiniest bit ashamed for blatantly taking your idea... but it upsets you less when you think about it like putting them onto elite ball knowledge. as long as it isn't pistachio, right? "cookies and cream is good, so i'll let it go... but stop copying me and get your own taste next time!! and i'm NOT your big sibling!!!"

a few days have passed since then. you're trudging home from visiting roadtown, struggling to keep yourself up after getting severely jumped in the meadows by several noobs. they were especially aggressive today... you clutch your aching side, which you earned after getting headbutted by a helmet noob hard. your feet drag after one another, but you gain a little second wind and speed up when your happy home comes into view.

just patiently waiting outside your house however, are red and blue. they just can't seem to leave you alone... if they see you like this.. "HEY LOOK!!! they're finally home!!" of course, red has to open his huge mouth and point you out. they excitedly run to approach you, but their joyful expressions quickly transform into ones of shock when they notice your beaten state as they get closer. red goes to support you from the left, and blue does the same on your right. "w-what happened??! are you okay???" "ugh, some chumps got the better of me, that's all... i'm alright you two, i just need to get home and rest." even speaking, it's obvious you're weakened judging from your labored breathing and how you croak with every word.

the two share a look, seemingly sharing a telepathic agreement. then without warning, they sandwich you in a small hug. "nobody can beat our big sibling!!! it'll take more than some randos to keep them down, WAHAHAHA!!!!" "you're the coolest, big sib! don't let them get you down..!" you can't help but snicker at their words of encouragement. they're dumb kids, but they're your dumb kids. and unfortunately, you've become too attached to these nerds to the point where you can't imagine your life without them. roughly, you pet both of their heads with one hand on each one, the duo yelping in surprise and giggling.

"yea yea, just get me home, ya little dorks."

(parade postscript: i'm actually a younger sibling so hopefully the dynamic feels realistic esp with the copying cus i was the biggest culprit of that n my sisters HATEDD me for it teehee)

[chronicangel]

There's not much I can say about The Narcissist Cookbook's MYTH: Side One that hasn't already been said (blast busy days, keeping me from listening to my favorite artist's new album), but I'll try anyway: The Narcissist Cookbook is one of the most impressive music artists and storytellers I could name, and they put those skills on full display here. Telling three separate, equally fascinating and engaging stories, this album punches you straight in the gut, and you better fucking like it. They already have two albums that have been credited with keeping me alive, and it is safe to say that the next time I'm at the edge of that cliff (which, let's be real, will happen again), this will be at the top of my queue. I want to listen to it a hundred times, and with winter break starting, I just might. Seriously, I don't care what kind of music you like, just put this album on and listen to it—really listen to it. I'll post some of my favorite lines after I give it a second listen after work tomorrow. (And possibly a third.)

Also, with how much MOTH means to me, I physically, audibly gasped for "MYTH: Side One - Excerpts From 'Lighthouses Of The British Isles' (two)". IYKYK.

[hungerpunch]

.

[doecrossing]

just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life

[raeathnos]

.

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

people who just.. have full conversations at concerts. why

[e-the-village-cryptid]

when you go to recent posts on a character tag to try to find other people to be feral about them with but 80% of it is just you going feral about them on your own

[blujayonthewing]

just back from a short anniversary excursion and I wanna a) sleep for a week b) do absolutely nothing but play zoldo c) go through vacation odds n ends and pics we took and think about putting together the scrapbook page(s) for this trip in the ADVENTURE SCRAPBOOK Justin got for our anniversary d) think about dnd and maybe do some art e) did I mention sleeping

[stxrmxtsu]

sigh.

[defilerwyrm]

There’s this guy in town who owns this little house, and a while back he rescued a street dog that was going to get put down. Turned out she was pregnant.

Problem is, he has mental health & drug issues and couldn’t afford to get them all spayed & neutered, so now there are 6 grown bitches with 15 puppies total, and they’ve dug under his fence in multiple places but he can’t afford to fix it so they go roaming all around town. (When I say can’t afford it, I mean his house is currently running on a generator because he can’t afford his electric bill.) He’s also a day laborer so he cannot take multiple full days off work to take them to the vet an hour away. He’s in a really rough spot.

He’s not a bad person. He’s just overwhelmed.

And this little conservative town with 6 churches for 300 people, have they tried to help their neighbor? Have they adopted the puppies he’s been trying to give away? Have they offered resources?

NOPE! All they wanna do is talk shit about him and complain about the dogs but never lift a finger of their own. And they come to his house to yell at him and cuss him out about the dogs, which does not exactly engender in him a cooperative attitude, as you might imagine.

So after a while of this going on, my mom gets fed up with all the NIMBY bullshit and starts talking to the guy, because she’s done animal rescue for 20-odd years and has Connections. He’s resistant at first, but when he realizes she’s not being an asshole to him on account of his addiction or the dogs, he decides to let her help.

She gets to work organizing and networking. Finds a non-profit that will cover vaccinations, spay/neuter, and flea treatments for all the dogs. Talks the next-door neighbor into paying for materials to fix the fence, since this guy can do the work of it himself. Gets him in touch with another non-profit that will adopt out the adult dogs.

Less than 2 weeks after she decided to do something, all puppies have been to the vet, 10 puppies and 4 adult dogs have been adopted out, and the second non-profit is coming by next week to pick up the remaining 7 dogs to ship them out for adoption.

I’ve learned a lot of things from my mom—some good, some bad—but I think the most important positive message she lives as an example of is this: sometimes, when something needs done and no one else is willing, you gotta stand up and say “I’ll do it.”

[asexualjedi]

Things fucking suck!!!!!!

[permanentreverie]

7 1/2 hour shift with no food ayyyyy

[disillusionedjudge]

((I will try to do things tomorrow! Today was,,, a Day and I was pretty out of it and fixated on one thing so yeehaw sfdkhjfds

[fushitoru]

i don't wanna lose this with you a spiderman gojo fic

pairing ⸺ spiderman!gojo x reader

summary ⸺ an amalgation of misunderstandings and stress lead to a very big fight between you and satoru, but you certainly don't expect the way he wins you back.

warnings ⸺ college au, spiderman!au, angst, hurt/comfort, i warn you reader might infurate you, but she's just a woman in stem :(, tooth rotting fluff bc he's a loser for his gf, not edited sue me

playlist ⸺ quantum rizzics

a/n you'll probably need to read the first installation (nsfw, so mdni) to understand this one :3

general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list

you've blocked gojo on all platforms.

you don't really remember what caused the "break up" (you didn't really break up). maybe it's the fact that you've been stressed about grad school admissions, your dorm's floor was covered in his boxers, and he's never been able to visit you pre-3am these days. somehow, the city's criminals are determined to keep your boyfriend away from you, and maybe it was your pms, or maybe it was truly just because satoru is annoying. regardless, it's when you guys have plans that's not an impromptu healing-gojo's-wounds-in-your-dorm-at-3am sesh and you're waiting at the coffee shop that you explode.

because he was supposed to arrive ten minutes ago, and when you move to go to the bathroom, you see him. through the window, his white hair is never not noticeable, and who you see next to him makes you falter.

he's standing next to a girl with blue tinted silver hair that you recognize as mei mei, and she's gripping his upper arm as she smiles while looking at his face, his lips with such fuck me eyes that you could tell they were having some sort of intimate conversation.

and if it were an ideal day, you would know that it's all a misunderstanding, you would know your boyfriend is someone you trust. but, again, the cards were stacked against you, and the only things that go through your mind all make your eyes all glossy. he's late to the one date that you planned because you and him were finally free at the same time and you've been busy because you've been desperately applying for internships because unlike your boyfriend you don't have a plethora of papers and coding experience and you've been getting four hours of sleep on average this week and ugh you've heard a rumor that satoru used to hook up with her and fuck now your tampon is poking at you in the wrong way—

great. now tears are fully streaming down your cheeks. in public.

as you rush to the table where your stuff is your vision is so blurry that you also almost fall flat on your face as you stumble over the legs of chairs and tables. blurting out a ensemble of choked up sorry's and excuse me's you hurriedly gather your laptop and notebooks in your backpack and book it for the exit.

the biting cold stings at your face, but you nevertheless determinedly move in the opposite direction of where satoru and mei mei are situated, praying your boyfriend doesn't recognize you. however, it seems that the heavens are working against you because you hear a yelled "baby?"

you don't look back because you know a new set of tears will leave your eyes, and with it being finals season, you're not very hydrated to being with. but you hear footsteps running towards you and fuck your boyfriend's long ass legs because he quickly catches up to you. then, he grabs your hands, attempting to stop you from running away and face him.

"baby," he breathes, baby blue eyes looking into yours as he moves to kiss your forehead. you stay silent, pinning your gaze to the ground while shivering. "where are you going? aren't we supposed to hang out right now?"

look, you and gojo have a good relationship. but recently, things have gotten...strenuous lately. you guys haven't been communicating, and it might not help that half of your calorie intake was from energy drinks. or perhaps what lead you to say what you said next was driven entirely by the brain eating mold on your unwashed dishes, but dumb excuses aside, you sneer. "shouldn't you be busy doing that with mei mei, instead?"

a small part of you--the part that knows you shouldn't be like this--feels relief that hurt doesn't immediately flash across his eyes, only confusion. but lack of sleep has not only stripped away at your sanity but also your people pleasing and overthinking tendencies, leaving you only as a girl frustrated, even irrationally angry, with her boyfriend. so you only avert your gaze when he dumbfoundedly asks, "what?"

"what do you mean, "what?"" you scoff, wrenching your hand from his grasp. "you were ten minutes late to our meet-up, gojo." it is at your use of his last name, instead of your sweet my love, that the hurt you've been looking for flashes across his eyes. he moves to speak but you cut him off, no longer wishing to be here with him. "if you're so busy talking to bitches you hooked up with before, why did you even bother saying yes to hanging out with me?"

he looks at you in confusion, eyes quickly flitting back and forth across you. then, slowly, as if he's still processing the weight of your accusations, he says, "i don't exactly know what you're referring to, but let's calm down---"

and you see red.

"calm down?" you snap, voice sharp and icy, just like the wind stinging your cheeks. "did you seriously just tell me to calm down? you were late again, gojo, and i find you chatting it up with her?" you practically spit the word, arms crossing as a flimsy defense against both the cold and the ache building in your chest.

satoru blinks, his confusion genuine, but you’re too far gone to care. "wait—mei mei? is this about mei mei? she's not—"

"don’t you dare finish that sentence," you cut him off, your voice rising as your blood boils hotter. "i don't want to hear how she's just a friend, or how it's not what it looks like. i’m so tired of hearing the same bullshit excuses."

"baby, you're jumping to conclusions—"

"and you’re jumping at the chance to look like an idiot in public," you snap, your hands trembling now, either from the cold or your rising fury. "god, what do you even say to her? let me guess, you go around telling girls you're spider-man to get into their pants, huh? bet that works like a charm."

the accusation hits like a slap, and for the first time, satoru looks genuinely stunned, his mouth falling open slightly. "what the hell are you even saying right now?"

"am i wrong?" you let out a bitter laugh, one that echoes in the frosty air. "you’re late to the one date i actually planned, and i see you with her, all cozy, like i’m not even waiting for you. like i don’t even matter."

his eyebrows knit together, frustration mixing with something softer. "you seriously think i’d—"

"i don’t know what to think anymore, satoru!" the words burst out of you, your voice cracking as hot tears well in your eyes. "all i know is that i can’t keep feeling like this. like i’m some afterthought while you’re out doing—whatever it is you do. swinging through the city or flirting with your exes or—" you choke on the words, wiping at your cheeks furiously as the tears spill over. "just forget it. i’m done."

"wait." his voice is quieter now, more desperate as he steps toward you, his hand reaching out. "baby, come on, we can talk about this—"

"no," you say firmly, jerking your hand away before he can grab it. "i’m blocking you. on everything." then, mockingly, "you can figure out how to save the world without me."

his eyes widen, his mouth opening like he’s about to plead or argue, but you don’t wait for him to speak. you turn on your heel and storm away, the cold wind biting at your skin as the lump in your throat grows heavier.

you don’t look back. not when he calls your name, not when you hear his footsteps falter. you just keep walking.

it’s 3 a.m., and you don’t know if you exist.

well, you do, but after how light you feel after you’ve cried a disgusting amount, you just lie down on your floor staring at the ceiling and contemplating the meaning of life. or more specifically, the meaning of your life, which right now feels like it’s revolving around nothing but stress and a breakup you don’t even fully understand.

you wouldn’t be having these problems if you were a childless cat lady.

but alas, you’re just a college student. in the few days where you haven’t seen satoru, you’ve finished all your finals—miraculously, considering the fragile state of your emotional wellbeing—and now you’re finally on break in your dorm. you’re supposed to go back home in two days, but the thought of packing feels like trying to climb a mountain barefoot. you can’t summon the energy to do anything except wallow in your self-pity and selfishness, letting it wrap around you like a weighted blanket that’s somehow comforting and suffocating all at once.

you’d like to say this is rock bottom, but truthfully, it’s worse than that. because rock bottom implies a kind of finality—a place to push off from. this? this feels more like you’re sinking in quicksand, the weight of everything dragging you further down.

in your stress and impulsiveness, you’ve managed to kill your entire grind for internships. deadlines have slipped past while you spent hours doom-scrolling job boards and second-guessing every application. the ambitious, career-focused version of yourself feels like a stranger now, buried under the weight of your own doubts and insecurities. and on top of that, you may have potentially lost the love of your life.

it’s laughable, really, how thoroughly you’ve managed to self-destruct in such a short time. the worst part? you can’t even bring yourself to check your socials. if you unblock him and see there aren’t any messages, you think your heart might shatter completely. which, if you’re being honest, isn’t exactly fair to him. you’re the one who had the meltdown. you’re the one who blocked him on everything. he probably doesn’t even know what he did wrong because you didn’t even communicate anything.

your stomach twists at the thought, guilt mingling with the ever-present ache of missing him. he was supposed to be the one person who made everything feel a little less impossible, and now you’ve pushed him away.

there has got to be a taylor swift song for this.

so you make your way to your spotify account to listen to afterglow, putting in your airpods while somberly looking at the ceiling once again as the lyrics fill your ears. tears well up as soon as the lyrics start

i blew things out of proportion, now you're blue⸻

tears well up before you can stop them, hot and heavy as they trail down your cheeks. god, you’re a mess. and yet, as much as you hate it, you can’t seem to stop the flood of thoughts that follow.

you miss him. you miss the way he made you laugh even when you were on the verge of tears, the way his ridiculous confidence somehow made you feel like everything would work out. you miss how he’d stay up late just to facetime you when you were overwhelmed with schoolwork, how he always seemed to know exactly when you needed him most.

and now? now you’ve gone and ruined it. maybe he’s angry, maybe he’s hurt, or worse—maybe he’s just done with you entirely.

the thought makes your chest ache, your breaths coming in shallow and uneven as the lyrics hit their crescendo.

i need to say, hey, it’s all me, in my head—

then, suddenly the song changes. you frown as you hear early 2010's pop blast through your ears.

i threw a wish in the well, don't ask me i'll never tell⸻

why the fuck is call me maybe playing?

annoyed and rubbing at your eyes, you move the change it back to, now, the sad girl hours playlist spotify curated for your and assume your dead fish position on the floor once again.

however, it seems as if your spotify is genuinely tweaking, like it's realized it’s gotten your attention. when call me maybe starts playing again, you groan out loud and move your phone. but before you have a chance to switch the song again, it seems to switch.

baby by justin bieber.

call me, blondie.

i love you, i'm sorry, gracie abrams.

letstalkaboutit, aminé.

i don't understand but i luv you, seventeen.

please please please, sabrina carpenter.

and then, once more, as if to really drive the point home: call me maybe, carly rae jepsen.

again, it's 3am, and you're stuck in a surreal mix of grief and confusion, staring at your phone as your spotify queue seems to have gained sentience. each song feels like a pleading nudge, an unmistakable pattern forming, and your blood runs cold when you remember one very important fact.

you share a spotify account with satoru.

"carly rae jepsen," you mutter under your breath, a mix of exasperation and fondness bubbling up despite yourself. he's hijacking your queue. right in the middle of your emo songs.

you sit up abruptly, tossing your airpods onto the bed, and hover over the call button on your phone. there’s a split second of hesitation—your pride battling with your longing—before you give in and press it.

the line rings twice before his voice comes through, breathless, like he’s been pacing. "baby?"

the sound of his voice sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over you, sharp and raw like an open wound. the sound of his voice makes your stomach twist uncomfortably, equal parts relief and guilt. "satoru," you say, barely above a whisper. "why are you messing with our spotify?"

"why am i messing with our spotify?" he echoes, his tone incredulous. "why did you block me on literally everything? what was i supposed to do—send you a letter by carrier pigeon?"

you wince at the edge in his voice, your earlier anger wilting under the weight of his hurt. "i… i don’t know," you admit, the words tumbling out before you can catch them. "i was upset, and i wasn’t thinking straight. i shouldn’t have done that."

"yeah, you shouldn’t have," he says, still sounding a little indignant, though there’s something softer beneath it now. "do you know how many songs i had to go through to make my point? do you know how hard it was to resist the urge to rickroll you instead?" then, there’s a pause on his end, the line suddenly feeling too quiet. then he sighs, his voice softening into something that feels too much like an apology. "i didn’t know what else to do. i hate not talking to you. i hate knowing i made you upset, even if i don’t entirely understand why."

you close your eyes, the lump in your throat returning with a vengeance. the silence stretches between you, thick and unbearable, until you finally break it. "i’m sorry," you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "i shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.” and now that the dam has been broken, it all comes rushing out as you start choking up. “i’ve just been so stressed, and i’ve been missing you and then i saw you with her and then got irrationally angry when i really should’ve trusted you and oh my god i’m like a possessive tradwife husband that doesn’t let you leave the farm i’m sorry and i didn’t even communicate before i blew up at you like that—”

"hey. hey, hey, it’s okay," he says immediately, his tone filled with an earnestness that makes your chest tighten. "i know things have been hard for you. i should’ve been better, too. more present. i hate that you’ve been feeling like this while i’ve been...doing spider-man things." then, he lets out a dramatic sigh, the kind that’s equal parts exasperation and playfulness. "but wasn’t fair,” and you can hear a whine in his voice, “you blocked me and then ghosted me like i’m some kind of random tinder match. do you have any idea how insane i felt when i couldn’t even check to see if you were okay? i thought you hated me."

your breath catches at his words, guilt twisting like a knife in your chest. "i don’t hate you," you say quickly, the words spilling out in a rush. "i could never hate you. i was just… stupid, and emotional, and i didn’t know how to handle everything piling up. i’m so, so sorry, satoru."

there’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter, a little more vulnerable. "then why did you say those things? about mei mei, and… and me using the spider-man thing to get into girls’ pants."

you bite your lip, the memory of your harsh words making your throat tighten. "i didn’t mean any of it," you whisper. "i was just lashing out, and i know it wasn’t fair to you. i know you’d never do something like that, and i trust you, satoru. i just… i let my insecurities get the better of me."

"wait," he interrupts, his voice laced with amusement that shouldn’t make your heart ache the way it does. "you actually think i’d use the spider-man thing as a pickup line? that’s...wow. that’s genius. i should write that down."

"satoru!" you exclaim, half-laughing, half-crying, your emotions unraveling all over again. "i’m being serious!"

"i know, i know," he says, but you can hear the smile in his voice, warm and teasing. "and i’m being serious, too. i’d never do that to you. mei mei’s just...she tripped in front of me, i was just helping her up. i didn’t even realize how it must’ve looked, but i’ve never done anything with her. you’re it for me, okay? always."

you sniffle, wiping at your cheeks as your heart swells and aches all at once. "you mean that?"

"of course i do," he says, his voice soft and sincere in a way that makes your breath hitch. "i love you, even when you block me on everything and make me resort to spotify warfare." he sighs again, but this time it’s softer, the warmth in his voice breaking through his remaining irritation. "i’m not mad. i mean, i was mad, but mostly i was just upset. you really hurt my feelings, you know?"

the lump in your throat grows, your guilt threatening to choke you. "i know," you say, your voice cracking. "i’m so sorry, satoru. i’ll make it up to you, i promise."

"oh, you will make it up to me," he says, the teasing edge returning to his tone. "i want a week of boyfriend privileges—no complaining when i steal your fries, no making fun of my movie picks, and you’re buying me snacks for at least three of those days."

a small smile tugs at your lips despite the tears still clinging to your lashes. "deal," you say softly.

there’s a pause on his end, and then his voice comes through the line, quieter but no less sincere. "you really mean it? you’re not still mad at me?"

"i’m not mad," you say, your voice thick with emotion. "i was never really mad at you, satoru. i was mad at everything else, and i took it out on you. but i’m not mad anymore. i just… i miss you."

"i miss you too," he says, and the raw honesty in his voice---the subtle way it chokes up, as if he had been crying and missing you too---makes your chest ache. "so, can i come over? or are you going to make me keep hijacking your playlists to get your attention?"

you laugh softly, the sound tinged with relief. "just come over already, you dummy. and bring snacks. good ones."

"done," he says, his grin audible through the phone. "i’ll be there in twenty. and for the record, you owe me at least a whole playlist dedicated to how amazing i am and you sucking the absolute soul out of my dick---."

"don’t push your luck," you reply, but there’s no heat in your words, only warmth (and you’re absolutely going to suck his soul out of his cock). regardless, for the first time in days, the tightness in your chest starts to ease, replaced by something lighter, something whole.

general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list

a/n he's so cute :( i'll keep on writing stuff for them whether it be small fics like this or long ass fics. i think my next one is gonna be freaky if you guys are nice to this one

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