#I wanna do this sorta thing again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jamandjazz · 6 days ago

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There’s something about SE Hinton’s older brothers…

#my friend won’t stop making fun of me bc ‘it’s clear who I’ve done face studies on and who I HAVENT’#like i showed her YESTERDAY and she’s still calling me gay for it 💔#the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #tim shepard #mason mccormick #motorcycle boy #rumble fish #I wanna do this sorta thing again #it’s way easier and so much more fun cuz faces r my favorite part of drawing #art #the outsiders fanart

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arsenicflame · 2 months ago

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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.

At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.

It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.

Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.

“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.

(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)

By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.

When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.

Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe��

And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”

That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.

#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those #dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so #solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling #anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun #and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide #youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede #because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands #i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic #stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him #aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much #...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay #anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #israel hands #sam bellamy #bellhands #i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever #it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess #i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired #(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by #being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3

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spinecurlingmice · 21 days ago

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love the hajime sys hc but i do frown sometimes bc . this is not mean or a vague or anything just a general statement from thigns ive seen btw. bc sometimes it's kinda obvious you guys have like. no idea how a system works in the complex ways that youre trying to do . like you have baseline info and that's fine and dandy but then you try to step into more complex functions and analytics of the system hajime is in and you just don't do it right because youre not informed. that's worded weird i know but i dont know How to word this. so this whole thing is just. flabt. basically.

#again im not trying to sound harsh or mean but it is something that disappoints me as a system #obviously the very complicated disorder that presents differently for every single system. will be hard to nail as a non sys but #i think singlets get this idea that there's this strict binary on how alters work . as if this isnt a disorder where blurry and blending is #Like. so normal and expected #i understand you want clear lines but you . kinda can't do that. being plural blurs the lines that's the disorder's Favorite thing to do.#i could talk more about this . at length really but. i dont wanna seem like im mad im justttttt. i wish people knew.#it's a hc i hold close to my heart soooo i just .#ynow?#micetalk #mice and co posts #kinda.#it's me talking about my system shit sorta but. okay whatever #hajime #danganronpa #praying this doesnt start anything im just complaining bc iiii. wish i could mindbeam all the info needed on the complexities singlets just #dont get #eeeeee... ahhhh

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telesodalite · 17 days ago

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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way #sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table #theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential #its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war #(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time #both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys #both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years #things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group #and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste #it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can #also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk #but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other #(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)

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faaun · 7 months ago

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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ganondoodle · 1 year ago

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read about all the armor set pieces i never bothered to fin before stopping to play to make sure i wasnt missing any potential useful info and came across the thing that im guessing is the reward for the shrines given its description and i just

kinda sank back into sadness and desperation bc of how much i dont like it and im fearing they are just gonna mess it all up even further

i said it before but i have a seething hatred for how totk hurts botw in retrospect, like wow i liked the mystery of the sonau but never wanted an answer to it, i liked the mystery of who the ancient hero was bc of its strange depiction and man did i not want this kind of answer, some things not having an answer can be more interesting than having one, cant we focus on going forward instead of looking back further and further, it was fine with the shiekah but at the end of botw it felt like a relieved sigh of "ok the past is gone and done, now we can built a better future and move o-" NOPE LOL LOOK BACK EVEN FURTHER THERE WERE THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVEN FURTHER IN THE PAST OMG YOU GUYYSSS LOOKS HOW COOL THEY WERE AND ALSO FUCKED IT ALL UP LOOOOOK LOOOK

like in general i have nothing against introducing a new species/nation to zelda but the way they did the sonau is just nothing but frustrating to me, coming out of basically nowhere and suddendly being shoved into EVERYTHING, everything shiekah, basically erased bc ACTUALLY the sonau were here first lol and they were so much cooler and better in every aspect dont you DARE even THINK of any other boring old group central to the better game of the two (botw)

like i get it they are the new cool thing but they feel so much more suddendly FORCED into EVERY aspect of both lore and world and how everyone absolutely obsesses over them its like the devs were so scared of the player not being interested in them that they felt the need to make every second NPC obsessed with them just so they can constantly shove in your face how interesting they are (like i think they way this was done just made me even less interested/more annoyed, sorry, their design is neat yeah but i really dont care, you failed to make me care and TELLING me to care wont change that), the ancient shiekah felt so much better integrated as a natural part of the world without being annoying about it and i just ....

i worry about whats to come, both for possible DLC, or worse even another game pretending to be connected to it or just .. in general ... especially given how successful totk was and still looks like its only praised outside of my bubble of like minded people

i now got alot of people interested into my totk rewrite but now im worried ... isnt my energy and time better spent on something else .. especially if they are just gonna make it all worse anyway/mess with it more, like after seeing how much totk disappointed me yet how successful it is i doubt it will get better again

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #sorta #i guess the fear of losing my hyperfixation after the new stuff drove my enjoyment of it into a brick wall is back #like it happened with all other special thingies i had #i was so into everything and then theres a new thing that makes my feelings about it do a complete turn into the opposite #its not there yet with zelda ...... im so afraid of it happening to it too #it didnt have to be this way :(#i dont wanna lose my special thing again #never been this long and this strongly invested into something #...

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pepperpixel · 4 months ago

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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao

#pepper words #it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge #until it starts to die #I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly #it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines #and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out #u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get #I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork #into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird #i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose #conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines #and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch #and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess #forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg #sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em #but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno #all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol

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kissingarthurclaus · 5 months ago

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Getting the strange urge to start up star trek again...

#jane journals #self insert talk #💛 love makes us human 💛#hehe might have smth to do with data posting happening in my queue x3 #BUT NO i swear ive had that thought on my mind for a while now #my partner and i used to do these things we called 'space watch'#where we watch some star wars then some star trek then some cowboy bebop!!! it was fun #but we sorta dropped off doing that as it happens sometimes #i wanna pick it up again CAUSE DATA MY BELOVED DATA WAAAHHH #I GOTTA GIVE HIM MORE ATTENTION 😭😭😭#ugh ive been so exhausted these last few days #and ive been kinda dissociative today too im dealing w a lot of irl personal stuff #but we stay silly 💖💖💖

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago

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...

#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 2 months ago

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so i googled my current favourite play that i'm absolutely obsessed with and ended up on the english wikipedia site bc my browser is set to english and. it's so bad. the fucking plot overview leaves out basically everything that happens ever except for the end result. several key figures aren't even mentioned. "this guy dies for freedom" well, yes, but actually no, plus you're implying his sacrifice is actually worth it. that's not true. in some other section a dude is mentioned who claims this play is basically star wars. that someone familiar with the play but not star wars could look at a star wars poster and tell you which characters are narratively similar/equal to characters of the play. i am baffled. i have never, not once in my life, ever seen someone be so wrong. dude must have read an entirely different play. i'm tempted to dig up the english version and read it just to see how fucking wrong he is. he is *so* incredibly wrong. jesus fuck. how could you possibly say that

#like??? lets assume the protagonists are sorta equivalent #okay?? daddy issues ig? one of them is filled with hope and the other with despair and obsessive love based in stubbornness #one of them refuses to give up to save many and the other has given up many to pursue his hopeless love interest #(until the end at least. hes so fucked up and stupid <3)#and okay that unreachable love interest is shared BUT????#i cant even begin to describe how fucking different those situations are #also bc without an in depth explanation the play situation sounds so much worse than it is #then the protags bestie #in star wars we have han whos cool but he didnt mean to be there for the longest time. a smuggler etc #in the play we have this super righteous guy whom Nobody speaks ill of whos literally our protags only moral compass #well not the only. well. actually. currently yes he is thats accurate #i mean obviously theres differences already bc one is basically a space fairy tale and the others a tragedy but #the character constellations are NOT even remotely similar!!!#the motives are VERY different!! the way the characters think and feel and act are VERY different!!!#just bc theres a protag who has a bad father a best friend and a love interest he shouldn't be into does NOT mean ones based on the other #and even if dude refers to a different star wars movie THE SAME STILL APPLIES #ITS SO INCREDIBLY WRONG LITERALLY I CANNOT GET OVER THIS #not that the wikipedia plot overview is much better #yes youre TECHNICALLY right but YOU ARE IGNORING THE PLOT #YES THAT HAPPENS BUT ONLY AT THE VERY END BC OF THE PLOT THAT YOU DIDNT MENTION #YOURE IGNORING CHARACTERS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT #(the women ofc. THEYRE IMPORTANT. yes they still play their restrictive af roles given the age of the play #BUT THEY STILL MATTER AND INFLUENCE THINGS???? let my girl fuck up so bad. let my other girl try so hard to do her best even as shes #powerless within the narrative and her fellow characters whims and moods and ploys)#and again! saying my guy dies for freedom is such a gross oversimplification #that scene is so intense and based in such complicated actions and intentions and feelings youre doing it a disservice #you can simplify it like that but ONLY IF YOU PROVIDE CONTEXT PLEASE #YOU CANT SAY 'THIS IS THE PLOT' AND THEN IGNORE THE ENTIRE PLOT #PLEASE THERE WASN'T A SINGLE MENTION OF LETTERS EVEN WTF ARE YOU DOING #WHOEVER WROTE THAT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE DROP UR URL I JUST WANNA TALK

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arsenicflame · 3 months ago

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& we are mcm bound! i have definitely overpacked & yet. convinced ive forgotten something

#i think im looking forward to this weekend regardless of my socialising goals #seems like theres some good panels for my tastes so ill enjoy myself even if i panic in every single interaction #(i am not beating the agoraphobia allegations)#i want to do everything though bc im sorta. feeling some way about doing mcm again #its like. 5 hours travel to the excel and tons of money and just. idk #complicated #i can embarrass myself at every social meet because ill never show my face again i guess #nyxtalks #the plan is to do all the ofmd meets inless they clash with panels i wanna do i think.#and the layton meet. thats the big thing for my weekend #sorry im rambling #im trying to not do that #mcm: complicated. ill be there though

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feisaru · 1 year ago

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@soccerpunching you're genuinely one of the best people I've met here bc you like almost every media I like

Apropos fighting. Remember when Adora jumps on Catra at Prom. Just them rolling on the floor. I wanted to draw that but didn't get round to it. The scene had such an energy