#I used to all the time

[spaceorphan18]

Some (abridged) thoughts on The Shape of Things

The thing about this play is that - I watched it twelve hours ago, and I'm still thinking about it. I don't necessarily know if you want me to bore you with my complex thoughts about the play itself.

There's a lot going on -- about what art really is, about whether or not people can change, about how relationships change you -- and the play doesn't necessarily provide answers to these questions - kind of lets it hang. Structurally (where's @snarkyhag to laugh at me about this thought) it's very cleverly written and put together, and I got to the big twist a bit before it happened but wow, okay, that's just a lot to digest. But thematically, it's left ambiguous, and I wish there are things that... may have been explored more? May have been expanded on? May have been more than just surface level?

I guess I just think there's a superficiality to it. Which, is partly the point. but I guess, it's clever in how it gets to where it wants to go. But what it's actually saying, feels muddled. I also feel like, and this is so just my take, it's definitely a play written by a man -- and a man who is mad at women but I'm not sure if I can coherently describe why I feel that way.

(There's one small scene where the two women talk and I joked to myself that -- oh, gotta pass that Bechdel test. it did, slightly. But despite the fact that this was written by an apparently famous modern playwright, I wasn't that impressed with how the women were written as people.)

Idk - I'm still thinking it through, and I may need to watch it again, in full, to really get a grasp on how I feel about it as a play.

---

Anyway, getting into the Luke Newton of it all... first of all, though, I think all four of the actors did a pretty good job. I think the two secondary leads had not a whole lot to work with and made good with what they had. The main actress was great! It's a very, very, very complicated role, and I think she did well with it. I'd be super curious to hear what her actual take on the character is, though, because -- the character is basically a blank slate. (Or a psychopath. You decide.)

For Luke, I think the word I'm going to go with is captivating. I had seen some clips of this floating around, and I was intrigued and genuinely impressed because even from those clips - it wasn't Colin, and it wasn't himself (or the person he presents in interviews).

The character of Adam is -- an interesting one. He's a character who goes through a transformation, and a character whom I don't necessarily like - but maybe not for reasons that people may think. (I honestly don't mind the cheating part - as it made him very human. But the level of manipulation he willingly endured drove me crazy.)

But what impresses me is that Luke did such a great job breathing life into him - making him feel real (and different from, well, Colin is the only thing I have to compare it to) and making those changes feel real (even when I have some complicated thoughts about how I don't believe you can fundamentally change someone through superficial changes...)

There is also such a physicality to the role (being on stage is such a different animal) and I loved that. I think it's was such a fascinating thing to just -- watch him inhabit the character, and do different things, and not feel like I'm even watching Luke Newton at all - but a different person entirely. Which is why I use the word captivating because I think there were times when I was more interested in watching the acting and the performance more than the writing or story itself.

(does that make sense to anyone else but me - maybe not, but there we are.)

If I'm going nitpick one thing, it's going to be about the accent (and this is across the board - not just Luke). I don't necessarily understand what they were going for - New York? Boston? It... wasn't American Midwestern, says me who has lived here all her life. And some British got through. But -- I will say, the accent was dead perfect during scenes and moments that were probably rehearsed the most, and those were the more emotional and pivotal scenes, so no notes there.

But yeah, overall, he did a great job. I think this role was a range that he handled really well, and I hope when coming across new projects he continues to seek things out that continue to let him go in different directions. I think he really has potential, and I really hope the future projects he chooses continue to foster that.

And, like, I know a lot of people want him to blow up or become bigger, and sure that's fine -- but honestly, I hope he continues to do theater, too, because he's really great at handling the stage. (I'd love to go see a live performance of his someday)

---

A couple of smaller Bridgerton-ish related things

There's a part where Evelyn goes through Adam's journal and I'm like -- why is not not madder about that?? That's an invasion of privacy! And, I mean, yeah it did remind me a little of Pen reading Colin's journal

(Also - because it's bonkers where my mind goes sometimes, I almost feel like this play and its messaging is the antithesis to Bridgerton Season 3. And someone's going to try to make me explain that, and I'm not sure if I can other than it makes sense to me. maybe when I'm not so tired...)

Someone called Adam 'distinguished'. Ngl, I snorted.

And that's what I've got! I know this is an old(er) play, and I'm sure fandom already discussed it to death way back when, but if any of ya want to chat about it, please do!!!

[femboycharles]

Do people still watch Merlin I’m curious

[beeffizz]

Really gotta scribble little comics

[yellow-g0ache]

If I had a tail I'd wrap it around yours when we sit together. If u even care

[stemmmm]

bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"

[clownboybebop]

if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!

1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.

2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.

3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes

it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.

It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.

so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[birdemic]

we have to stop letting the usa have such control/influence over international politics

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[angelofdumpsterfires]

how i feel about all the changes in s3

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[stemmmm]

more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great