#I truly don’t remember most of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

plague-of-insomnia · 26 days ago

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i really think people nowadays assume that they’re OWED fan content, and completely forget the PEOPLE behind the content they claim to love.

people don’t leave kudos. they don’t comment unless it’s nasty/critical. they don’t reblog.

and you wonder why you can’t find any content? maybe it’s bc the creators you claimed to love so much stopped sharing their work bc people didn’t seem to appreciate it/treated them like shit

we aren’t some AI spurting out crap. We’re humans putting little pieces of our souls out there for you to share a little joy.

i just wish more people would remember that, and be a lot more appreciative than entitled little shits.

#mini rant #fandumb #fandom etiquette #idc if everyone unfollows me at this point not like any one gives a shit about me anyway lol #i mean that’s clear #like this whole year i’ve felt like no one remembered i was even part of this damn fandom #and then shit like yesterday happens and i’m reminded why i spent most my life not sharing my work with anyone #like why should i use extra spoons to polish and format something that people are gonna sneer at and then CLAIM they loved it?#like if you truly love a creator’s work TELL THEM #or show them #jfc like a kudos takes two seconds #a reblog less if you don’t tag #and yet here we are

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bythehearts · 1 month ago

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not to bring tiktok drama on tumblr but like every time a ‘scandal’ comes out with one of these ‘production companies’ that make fan films i always hope we’re finally gonna discuss how they professionalize something that should be an hobbyist endeavor… and yet every single time i’m disappointed.

#like I know we’ve been talking about it here on tumblr and i remember seeing like one or two videos on tt about it #but other than that creators really don’t seem to be engaging critically with the impact that the very nature of what they’re doing has #and look i truly do love the art that some of the people involved in the project make #like arone is truly one of the most talented cosplayers i know #ethan is an amazing actor and I’ve followed him since before he was even in the marauders #dorian is a great writer and idk the others as well but I’m sure they are all great artists #((naming the just cause i feel like being vague would be worse in this case))#and i do believe they engaged with the project with the best of intentions #without knowing or trying to afford grace on past controversy #and it truly is a horrible predicament to have your work be tainted like that for something you had no control over #but like i do think we should be questioning the very idea of how this fanfilms have been made is inherently a problem #like fanfilms are essentially fanfiction on camera #so as long as a few cosplayers want to get together with their iphones write a script and shoot at the local park I don’t have a problem #but if you are putting in place a product that somehow requires you to fundraise consistently for two years then I have a problem with it #ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SELLING THE SCRIPT TO DO SO #cause even if that script hadn’t been ai generated #that script is fanfiction and you do. not. sell. fanfiction.#seriously like… do we need to go over our abc again?#like fanart and cosplayers are a bit different in the sense that people sell fanart/do commissions and they can be professional cosplayers #but for any other fanmade project that requires you to put pen to paper (or keyboard to chatgpt ig)#you need to be engaging with several ethical questions regarding any exchange of money #and personally i don’t think that there’s been engagement with those ethical reflections #and this isn’t about any of the people involved and not even about mischief productions specifically #it’s about a wider issue in how we have been collectively normalizing a way of doing things that should not be normal #and like yes star using ai and being overall not good is bad but like can we talk about EVERYTHING ELSE please

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firstroseofspring · 8 months ago

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sketch of sirella i drew in a frenzy after watching the royal shakespeare company’s production of antony and cleopatra

#my art #sirella #star trek #truly i don’t think they’re similar characters EXCEPT in the way they carry themselves aka regally despite all the embarrassment cleopatra #suffers throughout the play she never really doubts her status esp coming from a long line of royalty/nobility #sirella has that same confidence though she’s not quite as playful as cleopatra can be lollll #AND of course martok/antony’s deep deep regard and adoration of sirella/cleopatra despite knowing her flaws intimately #i feel so normal about this btw #anybody remember martok calling sirella mercurial...... dude.#thoughhh cleopatra is like . histrionic almost and sirella i don't imagine really likes to play mind games like that #i can totally picture their meeting feeling the same way ... sailing up the river with a lady's entourage and martok being like. well. well #other women cloy the appetites they feed but she makes hungry where she most satisfies!!!!!

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russilton · 9 months ago

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My turn to have opinions 2024 pre season driver ranking (I was going to do something fancy/artistic then I started a job soooo- good old tier list)

EDIT: adding the FE drivers

#remember! these are subjective opinions! no one has to agree with them!#I won’t be mad!#meh teir is more the fault of fans than drivers half the time #the drivers truly are just there but sometiems the fans get real dickish #neutral is true neutral #like I’m not upset if they do well #but I don’t look at their results most weeks #I don’t hate them on the grid it’s good to have drivers who are there #tbh my ranking hasn’t changed much from last year #mark’s driver meta

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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 6 months ago

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Reminder to myself: Write a fic about AFK MCs mom and MC cleaning out her drawer/locker/office bc once she died H.E.R.A. let her children have whatever was left there.

#Astoria fates kiss #Astoria fates kiss MC’s mom #afk mom #my writing #the gods may be messed up but I truly don’t believe they would just throw MCs mom’s stuff away.#they’d most likely let her children get access to it or whatever she left at HERA. If it’s a locker #and a drawer at some desk or some stuff in an office. they would definitely get access to it #it’s gonna be happy but sad fic bc my fics are always like that lol #remember Sarah when you wake up

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 7 months ago

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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

#blue chatter #am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing #but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture #which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people #autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people #depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay #but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL #and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them #I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house #their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting #I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation #they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo #which is rly neat #it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e #it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid #and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun #I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^

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nellectronic · 1 year ago

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getting so emotional scrolling back through my liked songs on spotify… it’s like falling backwards through every emotion i’ve had for the past few years

#it’s so vivid. like just looking at the song titles and album covers #most of them i don’t even remember what they sound like but it evokes such deep memories of whatever my mental state was #at the time when they were at the top of the liked songs list #like #that’s when i made the questionable decision to pick up stardew valley in the middle of the semester #that’s the day my lab group went to the corn maze #that’s when i first joined the lab and started to feel okay about my life for the first time in years #that’s when i was trying to find my balance after the transition from zoom uni to in person #that’s when i first became truly insane about qntal #that’s when i was working on that drawing and i actually felt like i was creating something #that’s when i was losing my mind trying to exist on east coast time when i was living on the west coast #etc etc #screams into the void

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junkosblunt · 1 year ago

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Junko: "The most despair I have ever felt in my life was killing my sister."

Mukuro, in the afterlife: "JUNKO LOVES ME MORE! SUCK IT, YASUKE!"

no because i know mukuro’s weird ass was lowkey thrilled when junko murdered yasuke because it was one less person to steal junko’s attention away from her 💀

#😭😭😭#like remember how excited she was to go back to junko’s room after everything was said and done and tried to make her laugh dndnxn #homegirl probably wanted izuru dead so bad lmfao #i have a whole thing about mukuro’s subconscious bitterness towards people who get junko’s attention and affection who aren’t her #because she believes that if anyone in the world deserves attention and affection from junko it’s her. like she’s earned it.#and in her mind she probably rationalizes that nobody else deserves junko’s affection because they don’t truly understand her #not the way mukuro does and she’s worked so hard to be someone junko loves and needs #it kills her to watch junko focus on other ppl when she’s right there practically begging to be acknowledged & shown love and appreciation #and it isn’t possessiveness. it’s bitterness. bitterness and hurt.#ofc most of this is festering beneath the surface in her subconscious more than it’s entering her stream of conscious thought #she wants to be the center of junko’s world like junko is the center of hers so badly it’s genuinely heartbreaking #but yes this a correct take lmao #mukuro ikusaba #junko enoshima #danganronpa #asked and answered

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chibishortdeath · 6 months ago

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Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

#text post #incoherent rambling #project update #game project #I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too #It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know?#I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult #either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about #which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀#or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague #truly a balancing act writing is #kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members #which makes things both more and less difficult???#on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔#I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary #the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film #funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg #but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it #still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason #I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning #ugh writing is HARD #but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles #I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo #and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring #I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums #the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age #anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this #hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀

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oldtestleper · 2 months ago

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bro why are you blazing your extremely personal vent posts

#truly the most miserable behavior imaginable. like I don’t want to be mean but jesus christ. why #.txt #remember the days when we had to fight tooth and nail to stop randos from reblogging our personal posts. this guy doesn’t

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apathyfairy · 3 months ago

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if i read through my old notes or my old posts from like 3 years ago i’m like. who is that like that person is dead. who even am i anymore like i have lost all sense of self at this point

#honest to god too many pieces of me have died i don’t know who or what i am anymore.#like i can look back on it and be like oh i remember that but i can’t imagine being that person does that make sense #like my current living situation has taken too much from me i’ve had to just dissociate and be a shell of myself just to protect myself #and i think that even if i ever get out of here idk if i can get those parts of me back and that scares me so much like #i don’t want to be stuck like this forever even though i know j most likely will #like i’ve lost every last ounce of hope i ever had by living here i’ve lost everything i’m so jaded now there’s just #nothing anyone can say to me anymore like there’s no amount of inspirational or hopeful like idk messages or meditations or #whatever literally anything i see shit like that and i’m like hm that’s nice but not for me. like i’m just dead set on things never getting #better ever again and i truly believe they wont and i know it’s a protection method like i know i’m just saving myself from getting my #hopes up and crushed and up and down and it’s just happened too many times that i’ve truly in every sense given up #like i’m just resigned to it all bc there’s nothing i can do about anything anyway and i’m not trying to be like oh poor me #like there just truly is nothing i can do my entire life is a rock and a hard place and it just fucking sucks that’s it #i just feel like i’m drowning all the time and just constantly treading water but i can’t ever breathe if u know what i mean

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pepprs · 1 year ago

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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

#purrs #longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing #and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how #deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is #to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is #being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten #alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can #one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the #most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably #i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this #delete later #i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting #people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself #and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i #feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental #illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt #feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant #i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that #and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending

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squuote · 1 year ago

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I made a post bout the skip button ending a while back and I deleted it a while ago but I desperately wanna redo it cause I’m interested in what others think but man I cannot find the words for it at all lmaoo

#delete later #LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED IT #I rlly should have saved a reblog to drafts before deleting it #but basically it was along the lines of #a person who feels trapped in a situation may see a solution and just go for it-#-before trying to find other solutions. and most of the time that solution might not be an actually good one #I still feel like I’m wording that wrong though #the concept of stanley seeing the skip button as the only means to escape this ending #and not directly as a way to truly hurt the narrator #because stanley is the one trapped in that room/in the parable #and in times of feeling trapped you may reach for an option that feels like your only hope #or a solution that gives you back some sort of control #so I think the portrayal of the skip button and the zending kinda speak to this idea in an odd way #the feeling of being trapped and seeing a way out and going for that without thinking #though in the end this is me very heavily projecting my own stuff onto these endings #because I’ve been in that position before a few times and I know what it’s like #it doesn’t mean your bad for doing it but I think some people don’t understand it well #it is essentially just me explaining rash decisions in serious situations #yeah stanley should have waited with the narrator but in moments of uncertainty-#-people react in their own ways. idk shrugs I still don’t know if I’m making sense or not #maybe I’ll just keep it here in the tags lol

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mars-ipan · 10 months ago

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do you ever think abt how komaeda says aishiteru in his final fte…. do. do you ever think about

#marzi speaks #I’M SICKKKK #AISHITERU……. AISHITERU??????? WAAAAUAUUUUGHHHGHHHH #are you KIDDING ????#sorry it just hit me again. aishiteru….. i’m gonna throw up #fuckk meeeeee #sometimes i think abt ‘i am truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you’ and i’m like yeah okay! solid queer coding #but then i remember that it’s not the most accurate translation #because he fucking says AISHITERU….. and how do you translate that to english???#how do you phrase a cop-out confession with the same intensity as aishiteru in english???#i don’t know that you can. still i would have done something more obvious #bc aishiteru is a HEAVY word !!!#i’d have done something like. ‘i’m madly in love with y- your hope’ or SOMETHING #aishiteru….. fuck’s sake man….

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theradicalace · 1 year ago

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drawing the world’s most niche ship art inspired by owl city music is hard work, but someone’s gotta do it

#ace rambles #happy tree friends #mime htf #shifty htf #shifty/mime #my art #song art #been listening to ’’under the circus lights’’ by owl city on loop that’s what inspired this #mr city outdid himself with that song #i’ve changed my mind on my hc for mimes gender i truly think they are just whatever gender is most convenient at whatever moment #also unrelated: i don’t remember who i first saw drawing shifty with a playing card in the band of his hat but i owe them everything #i have decided to draw him that way forever now #(it’s an ace of hearts in this drawing because… heart <3)

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spinobsessed · 1 year ago

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I want so desperately to be with my friends again but whenever I get the rare opportunity to meet up with them, it just leaves me more hurt than before

#I’m so lonely #I miss them so much #like I can’t even get them heartfelt gifts anymore #they’ve become so one dimensional to me since idk much abt them anymore #The last time I truly knew them was 2022 in June #since then I haven’t been able to REALLY know them #I remember being jealous of one of them bc I thought they’d take my other friend away from me since they go to the same school but I dont #I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my friend(s) but I just can’t be theirs as much anymore #We’re all so busy and most of my teachers don’t allow us to just have our pcs out whenever we please so I can’t message them #autism #actually autistic

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