#I thought it was fun to have something that I like physically wrote
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vir-tanadahl · 1 day ago
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Quick little thought bubble before I head into work today about the ancient elves originally being spirits—because I had this idea last night, I like it, and now it’s officially my personal headcanon.
We know elves originally took physical form. But I think most of these early elves were probably more like how Cole exists in the world: spirits who managed to take on physical form independently, without literally crafting their bodies out of titan-flesh and lyrium.
So I started thinking
if the ancient elves were originally spirits who became physical and then essentially got stuck in the physical world after the Veil went up

What if modern elves are descendants of a variety of spirits? Like, one elf might descend from a Spirit of Compassion, another from a Spirit of Purpose, and so on. And over time, as these elves had children and families, those original spirits became fragmented—but still exist, in some small way, within the elves of today.
And then my brain jumped to this: Plato wrote about how humans supposedly once had four arms, four legs, and two faces. Zeus split them in half as punishment for their pride, and ever since, humans have been wandering the world searching for their other half. (Yeah, I know it’s about soulmates, but stick with me here
)
What if modern elves could regain their immortality (or at least extend their life span by hundreds of years if not fully immortal again) by finding the type of Spirit they originally descended from? And what if, by allowing themselves to become semi-possessed—like how the Avvar do in Jaws of Hakkon—they could essentially reconnect with that fragment?
(Ethical and moral implications aside, how would they go about finding this other half? No idea--give me a day or two and I will think of something though.)
Anyway, just a fun little thought spiral. Okay, off to work!
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feralwritings · 6 months ago
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three's company
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pairings: steddie x reader
tags: plus-size!reader, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, wound care in place of/leading to intimacy, vaginal fingering, piv sex, oral sex (m&f receiving), handjobs, no mentions of specific race or other physical characteristics besides body type
tags are subject to change as fic progresses!
warnings: 18+ mdni! body image issues, murder, graphic depictions of violence, physical violence towards women and men (no sexual violence), suicidal ideation if you squint, upside down brand of torture, body horror, gore, swearing, miscommunication as a plot device, flashbacks, ptsd, several near death experiences, references/use of drugs/alcohol, mention of hospitals/medical care, billy stans do NOT interact this fic could not be further from what you want cause this author hates his ass so much lol
word count: so many oh my god
summary: snapshots of that week in march 1986, and how three reckless idiots fall in love.
part one | part two | interlude I: 1985 | part three | part four
playlist
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eggmeralda · 7 months ago
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spent an hour making a list related to That Fandom, followed by an hour listening to the haunting vibe playlist, followed by an hour reading the fanfic we wrote about my band and crying actual tears bc it's the peak of comedy, followed by an hour thinking about all the things I've ever created that will never be seen by anyone either bc I don't know how to show them to people or bc people just think they're bad but either way I'll never know the true answer, and now it's 10.30pm and I've basically experienced the full spectrum of emotions: autism, existential crisis, silly, and the feeling of being unseen
#the list btw was working out which south park character canonically gets the most bitches. kyle btw#but yeah the 4th hour was typical after experiencing the adrenaline rush laugh attack high of the 3rd hour#(with an air of bittersweet nostalgia for the joys of 2nd year uni)#and the 4th hour was just thoughts of like. do you ever make the best thing you've ever made and then you don't know what to do with it#even if the thing itself isn't objectively Good. but it's still the best thing in comparison to everything else you've made#and for me it's the messily written script for that film i wrote#and the album I'd been recording since 2020 and finally finished at the start of this year#and like. both of them i spent so much time on and both were for my own enjoyment#like the process of making them is fun#but then once they're finished what do you do? do you show other people? or do you just keep it to yourself#keeping it to yourself is the safer option bc you don't know what anyone's opinion of it is#the only thing is that it feels trapped inside i guess? like you've just got it to yourself for no reason#at least put it somewhere. post it online or print/record it in physical form. so you have some way of proving it ever existed#but then if you do post it online there's only four options:#1. no one sees it bc they don't know it's there (neutral)#2. people see it and enjoy it and they tell you (good)#3. people see it and hate it and they tell you (bad)#4. people possibly see it but whether or not they engage with it you'll never know and no one says anything about it (????? worst option)#and you don't wanna be obnoxious about it by reposting it all the time so you just assume either people don't like it or just don't care#and then leave it#and it's not even anyone's fault it's just you have no idea where you stand with anything#and then that leads back to the question of why would you make something in the first place if all you're gonna do is finish it#if the process is enjoyable then just make small versions of it so the finish doesn't feel as wasted#more emphasis on the making experience. which is the fun part#idek what i'm talking about. does anyone get this#i'm not saying no one should ever make big things bc it's pointless or anything#but also what is the point in finishing something massive if it's just gonna be left collecting dust in your mind. and possibly storage#if it always feels like this i'm just gonna never finish anything ever again. and then everything will stay fun forever <3#ramble
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bbokicidal · 4 months ago
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"Are You Serious...?" - Angst! [Maknae Line SKZ]
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Notes : These are all obviously fictional situations, the red flags are just based off of habits we know they have (like Chan's need to be needed, Changbin being blunt/honest.) This post isn't me saying I think they have these red flags, it's just a fun angsty prompt I wrote down. If you don't like it, scroll and don't read.
Warnings : Angst with no comfort, red flag behavior - explicit warning for Han's scenario; Sexual talk, TMI, he shares information about your sex life with others. Warning for Felix's scenario; weight discussion, judgement. Warning for Jeongin's scenario; Physical contact (shoving, nudging, etc.), signs of disgust
Hyung Line | Part 2 Here
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Han - Oversharing
"You should've seen it. It was so wet." Jisung had fully turned his body in his dining chair to face Seungmin beside him. The younger of the two was listening to Jisung go on about something that had happened the night before; Something that was sexual and involved you.
And judging by the way Seungmin's chewing slowed gradually and his eyes flickered around the table to see if anyone else was listening, he was growing uncomfortable with hearing so much information about his friend and his partner.
"Jisung," You reach to place a hand on your boyfriend's shoulder, catching the way Seungmin seemed to eye the others in a silent plea for help out of the conversation. "That's enough, baby. I don't think he cares to hear about our sex life." You laugh, trying to brush it off.
But he keeps talking. "She made a mess everywhere, Min. It was like those videos where the girls --"
"Jisung!" You snap this time, pulling on his shoulder until he turns to face you. His eyes widen and he stares, completely unaware he'd done anything wrong.
"What..?" He peeps, watching as you scoff in frustration and lean down to grab your purse from the ground. He turns further to face you, a few of the others quieting down as they watch you stand and nearly knock over your wine glass.
You tremble in both agitation and humiliation, pulling your bag over your shoulder before turning to walk away. "Get a fucking cab home, I'm leaving."
Felix - Ordering food for you / Controlling your diet
"Thank you," You beam at the delivery man, gently shutting and locking your apartment door to make your way back to Felix on the sofa. It's only moments before the coffee table is filled with food - two waters, a few packets of dressing, and two... salads.
Your look of confusion doesn't escape Felix but he doesn't speak up on it, popping the lid off his salad container and reaching to empty a dressing packet over top of the greens. He stirs it around as he watches you reach for the other, pulling it closer and opening it carefully so nothing spilled. "I thought we said yesterday we were going to order Tteokboki and.. -- Are you sure you ordered from the right place?"
"Mm." Felix nods, mouth full as he watches you. You spare him a glance before sitting up a bit as he swallows and speaks again. "I'm on a diet, sweetheart. There's things I can and cannot eat right now."
"Okay," You nod slowly. "I understand that, and I understand it's for your job but - I didn't... agree to this..?" You murmur, hoping it doesn't come off as disrespectful. He'd been the one to place the order and pay for it, and you appreciated that - you really did. But he hadn't said anything about what he'd ordered earlier; Hadn't bothered to mention he was dieting or deciding to order from a different place.
He blinks once, then twice, as if processing that you were unhappy. "Felix, I'm -- I respect your diet. I really do." You lift your hands as if surrendering, then gesture to yourself by placing both hands on your chest. "But you could've told me you were ordering this and I could've just told you what I wanted. I don't need to diet."
Felix's chewing slows as he listens. He's staring, gaze unwavering, very intently listening. He nods, then hums as if in thought, before his eyes slowly wander down over your form sitting beside him. When he looks back up and doesn't care to agree with you or offer a soft apology, you feel the humiliation sticking in your gut.
Your lips part and you stare, unsure of what to say after he'd just silently judged you moments ago. You stand from your spot and slip into a pair of shoes at the door, grabbing your keys off of a hook.
He stares, posture straightening. "Where are you going?"
You look back, opening the door. "Down to the cafe. I'm getting myself a treat - because I didn't deserve whatever the fuck that just was." The door swing shut behind you, leaving Felix sitting alone in silence with his sad little salad.
Seungmin - Being Evasive / Not Responding
"Seungmin."
Your boyfriend blinks down at his phone for the umteenth time since you've started watching him in disbelief.
"Seungmin!"
"What-?!" He barks back this time, dropping his hands in his lap and staring over at you. His lips are parted and he's tonguing at the inside of his cheek, annoyance written all over his face. "What? Why are you yelling?"
"I asked you twice what we were doing later. Are the boys still coming over or are we all going out?"
In the ten seconds it took you to get that question out, he'd lifted his phone back up and blocked out every word that escaped your mouth. Whatever he was doing was obviously more important. He sits quiet, doesn't give you any answer, and stares down at his screen without caring to spare you a glance.
"Kim Seungmin." You stare, fully turning in your seat to make sure he knows you're giving him your full attention. "Would you please answer me?"
He stays silent where he sits, tapping away at the screen. And you know from previous arguments like this he's likely texting Jeongin about his frustrations with you. He only looks up when he hears a soft sniffle, met with the sight of you wiping your reddened face with your sleeve. "Why are you crying now?"
You stifle a sob and turn away, tucking your hair back to keep your face clean. "Because you never fucking answer me. You make me feel like I don't matter to you and all you care about is who you're texting on your phone."
"Jesus Christ," His eyes roll as he stands from his seat, tucking his phone into his back pocket and walking down the hall. "I don't like talking to you because you act like a baby. Grow up." The bedroom door shuts firm behind him and it leaves you sitting alone at the table, sniffling as you text Chan in attempts to get an answer on the plans later.
Jeongin - Physically pushing you away
It's no secret Jeongin doesn't like skinship unless it's under certain circumstances; Usually only when someone is under distress and needs to be comforted. But being his girlfriend, you thought you could slowly ease him into being more comfortable with you and physical intimacy.
Yet even a full year into the relationship, you can't get Jeongin to give you a simple hug before he leaves for a week to Japan - or a kiss on the cheek when you bid him farewell in early morning hours to go to work. You're lucky if he touches you at all actually.
And it gets worse when he begins to actually show irritation. Your soft attempts at affection were usually met with him laughing it off or just standing there as you hugged him or kissed his cheek. But recently, he'd begun to grow upset with your ongoing attempts.
He'd given you a gentle nudge the last few days to show he didn't want you near. First it was when you'd sat too close on the couch and he'd bumped his elbow into your side to get you to scoot away; Then when you'd side hugged him before he left for work and he'd nudged you off of him as he grabbed his jacket.
Today, he'd pushed you. You understood if he was frustrated and you understood he didn't like the physical contact, but all you'd done was brushed against him to reach into the cupboard. You hadn't mean to come close and hug him or kiss him, you were trying to just make dinner. But he'd been standing there, and the ongoing attempts at affection had boiled over into anger, and he'd shoved you.
His hand laid on your side and he pushed you back hard enough to make you stumble, shoulder bumping the fridge as you turn to look at him in surprise. "Jeongin--?"
"Would you back off?" He bites, eyes narrowed into a glare as he stares you down, standing in front of the stove. "I told you a million times, I don't like being touched so just drop it and quit trying to rub up against me every fucking chance you get. You're being clingy and I can't stand it."
"I wasn't trying to," You breathe, stumbling over your words as you register that he'd actually pushed you away from him.
"You try to every waking moment of every fucking day!" He snaps again. You aren't sure what had pushed him to grow so angry but he'd never yelled at you like this and you were 100% certain you never wanted him to again. So you step back and pivot, beelining for the bedroom to get some space between the two of you. Tears form and your thoughts jumble in your head, pondering on if it would be best to excuse yourself from the relationship now - or give it some time.
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monstersflashlight · 1 month ago
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Patreon Commission for @wimble_warcrime
Request: As for the commission, are you familiar with the 'Ice Planet Barbarians' series by Ruby Dixon? The thing I'm thinking of is similar to the series in regards to plot - like human ends up stranded on an ice planet with only giant aliens to keep her company. Except, the aliens aren't seven-foot-tall blue people but more of a cross between a werewolf and a werebear? Something smutty, with a big emphasis on the typical soulmate trope and breeding kink/knotting kink? I also really liked the fic you wrote about the werewolf and marking his human with his piss - if possible, could you add something like that to it, please?
A/N: This was very fun to write, turned out a bit more soft than expected, but I think it’s sweet, enjoy!
Mating the alien
Furry alien x fat fem!reader || watersports, breeding, knotting, marking/mating
When your spaceship crashed into the unknown planet, you weren’t expecting aliens to be there. Well, you kind of were in your wildest monsterfucking fantasies, but in reality you thought it was highly unlikely. Joke was on you when an alien as tall as a tree got to your scared self.
You screamed when his head popped over your broken glass, he looked between a werewolf and a werebear. freaky in a way that made your insides tingle with unknown feelings. But the confusion didn’t matter when you saw him and instinctively punched him in the face, not processing he was trying to help you. (You thought he was trying to eat you, okay?).
After a lot of screaming (from both of you), he got some sort of device inside your ear and then you could finally understand him. You were more than glad for that tiny something that was now embedded in your ear, you didn’t want to ask what it was, it looked like a bug when he pressed it against you. But it was okay, you could deal with an ear bug if that meant you could communicate with the alien species living on the planet. (And maybe with the fine alien who rescued you.)
You weren’t that lucky, though. As soon as you reached the village, he left you with some older looking aliens and disappeared much to your dismay. You didn’t see him for multiple days after that, but they gave you a place to sleep and nice clothes. And when he showed up again with a big dead something hanging from his shoulder, you screamed again, making him jump and drop the dead weight into the snow in front of your hut.
You looked between him and the dead animal (?) and couldn’t stop yourself: “What is that?!”
“A gift,” he mumbled as he turned around and left you there, confused and with a dead animal.
You were even more confused when he showed a couple more times with other weird “gifts”. But when the elders told you about soulmates and all that they implied, you had a revelation. You were more than sure than the one who saved you that day was your soulmate. You knew humans didn’t have stuff like that, but in a way, you could feel it. Deep inside of you. There was something that called you to him like a moth to flame, and you were so tired of him running away from you

So the next time he showed up, you gave him the hat you were wearing when the spaceship crashed, making him smile at you like the sun just appeared after a long winter. He looked even more handsome when he smiled, and you couldn’t stop yourself from reciprocating.
And that’s how it started.
Between gifts and hanging out with each other you started to develop something more
 Something deeper. And he seemed so happy about it. So, so happy that it rapidly escalated to something a bit more physical. To be exact, something with your legs over his furry shoulders and his face buried between your legs until you were soaking his fur and he was devouring you like a starving alien. But nobody could blame you, you were his mate after all (and maybe a bit of a slut when it came to big furry aliens).
But it still didn’t feel correct, there was something missing. And after another talk with the elders, you understood.
And you planned.
That big alien wasn’t going to know what hit him (aka: a horny human with lots of kinks).
He was pounding into your pussy, legs over his shoulder as he pressed down on you, making you moan so loud you were sure the hut next to his could probably hear you. You didn’t care, you were being fucked within an inch of yourself and he was saying the filthiest things against your ear, making you shiver with pent up arousal.
“I’m going to fill you so completely you are going to feel me for days. I’m going to fill you to the brim until you are so full of me everybody can smell it on you.” He kept feeding your breeding kink to the point of making you dizzy with desire, his dick so big inside of you it felt like you were about to be split open. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna
”
“Knot me, mate.” You knew what it did to him to hear you saying that.
As soon as the words were out of your mouth, he was burying himself deep inside of you and you felt his knot stretching you to the point of insanity. It pressed right against your G-spot and you had to cover your mouth to stop some of the screams as you came apart around his forming knot.
You breathed in unison for a few moments, his dick still filling you completely as he kept breeding you. You shivered at the thought, but then remembered your plan. “I want all of your marks on me,” you told him right after his first orgasm.
“What?” His brain couldn’t fully process your words as he kept coming inside of you, another shot of his come hitting your cervix. He looks down at your joined bodies pointedly.
“I don’t mean this. Well, yes, I do, but also the marks,” you tried to explain without having to spell it out. You moved your hips, pulling a low moan out of him. He looked at you confused, like a puppy. He was so adorable you couldn’t be mad at him for being oblivious to everything. So you swallowed around the knot in your throat (haha double knotting), and choked out: “I want you to pee in me after you
 finish.”
He stopped breathing for a second, staring at you intensely. But the next shoot of his cum inside of you had him closing his eyes and moaning. After, he asked: “Wha- what? Who told you about that?”
“The elders.”
He groaned and rocked his hips, making his knot rub against your G-spot and making you see stars. “I thought
 Humans don’t do that,” he muttered, your brain turning fuzzy with a new wave of pleasure.
You tried to focus so you could explain, it took a little while, but you finally said: “Humans don’t need to mark their partners with piss, but that doesn’t mean some of them don’t do it for fun and pleasure.”
“They do?” You hummed in agreement. “Do you- Did you
 with anyone?” The low growl in his tone sounded jealous, and you felt bad for liking that. You liked that he was possessive, you liked that he was about to mark you completely.
“N-no,” you lied. He looked at you with big eyes, catching your lie easily. “Okay, yes. I’ve done it before.”
He smirked down at you, his mischief showing in every inch of his face. “And you liked it?”
“Yes,” you confessed. Even though his knot was deep inside of you, it was the confession that made you blush harder. “So
 are you
 are we... doing this?” You slowly let out, your voice breaking as he rolled his hips.
“Do you really want to?” He asked after a particularly good shot of his come made him moan your name like a whore. Dang, you loved how vocal your alien got when he was high on passion.
“Yes,” your tone was vehement when you answered, a twitch of his dick hitting right over your oversensitive G-spot, making you see stars and a wave of pleasure so intense hit you, you almost came again.
He kissed your forehead with an exhale, whispering: “You are perfect, my mate.”
After all that talk, you focused back on your body and felt how you were almost overflowing with his seed. He filled you up so completely you could feel it moving inside every time he rolled his hips. You contracted your muscles to milk him and smiled big when he groaned in response, praising your pussy. His thumb found your clit and he started to work you up again, slight rolls of his hips that mixed with his dexterous fingers to drive you higher and higher, your orgasm almost at arms reach.
But it wasn’t until his knot deflated that you could feel him fully, his dick didn’t go down, and he started pushing in and out of you again, the mess of cum inside of you being pushed out as he pushed in. The sounds it was making were driving you into the next dimension. His fucking driving you right to the edge.
And then you felt it. You felt the warm heat of his piss inside of you, warming you from the inside out, such a sinful moment that you felt your body floating as the orgasm hit you. You threw back your head as he peed inside of you, your body convulsing in his arms, your voice breaking with pleasure as he completed the union between the two of you.
He pulled out just in time to finish peeing right over your messy pussy and lower stomach, the heat making you groan once again, whispering nonsense about how good it felt, how nice and warm
 Your brain couldn’t process everything, you never came so hard and for so long, but the feel of him in and out of you, the warmth and the utter fullness inside your soul was so much more than you could express.
When he finished, he pulled you up to his body, the mixture of fluids leaving your over-used pussy and leaking down the sheets, making an obscene mess. You were so tired you couldn’t hold yourself up, your body not responding after pleasure that intense. You looked up at him just in time to see a single tear rolling down his cheek. You pulled him down and licked it off his face, making his dick twitch against your abdomen.
“Let’s clean up so you can mess me up again,” you teased. His responding growl made your insides turn and twitch with anticipation, more than ready to be filled and defiled once again.
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nastybuckybarnes · 3 months ago
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Cling to me
Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader
Summary: You overhear something you weren’t meant to hear. 
Warnings: Angst, Language, Fluff, 
Word Count: 2.1k
A/n: wrote this one a year ago teehee but I LOVE this kinda shit I live for it. hope y’all enjoy 
~*~
“So things are going well, then?”
You shouldn’t be eavesdropping, you really shouldn’t. It was an accident.
You had approached the bathroom door to ask Steve for a towel, not wanting to drip water all over the carpeted hallway, when you heard him and Bucky talking.
The bathroom fan is on, drowning out the sound of you stepping closer to the wood.
“Well, yeah, I guess so. I mean... I guess.”
You frown.
You thought things were going great.
“What? What’s wrong?”
Steve lets out a heavy sigh and glances at the bathroom door then slightly lowers his voice, but you can still hear him clearly.
“She just... she’s real needy, Buck. She’s physically clingy, always sitting by me or on me and holding my hand and stuff... and she never leaves me alone when I’m out on assignments. I’m just... I need some space.”
Your heart stumbles in your chest for a moment before beating twice as hard, each beat smashing against pins and needles and sending pain radiating through your chest.
Too needy.
Steve thinks you’re too needy.
This is how it started with Jeremy.
You were too clingy.
Slowly, you back away from the bathroom door and slide down the wall, shivering at the wet droplets clinging to your skin, then put your face in your hands.
Steve won’t be like Jeremy. He can’t.
Everything will be fine, you just need to give him space.
You can almost hear Jeremy’s voice in your head, whispering words that he’d repeat when you were with him. But maybe he was right.
Just because you like being physical and spending time with him doesn’t mean he wants that too. You haven't even taken his wants into consideration.
A knock on the bathroom door startles your face out of your hands and you flip your head up, looking at the door with wide eyes.
“Honey? I’m just gonna go grab some drinks with Bucky and Sam. I’ve got my phone and I shouldn’t be home too late.”
You take a deep breath and nod even though he can’t see you.
“Okay, have fun!”
Your voice is a little duller than usual, a little less lively, but Steve chalks it up to the fan distorting your voice.
You stay rooted in place on the bathroom floor, knees hugged up to your chest, for hours.
You’re not sure why, whether it’s out of fear that he won’t come back or that he’ll be waiting out there to break up with you, but you’re terrified.
Eventually, after the chills have sunk into your soul and shivers are shaking your bones, you leave the bathroom and get dressed.
Usually, you’d put on a pair of panties and one of Steve’s shirts, but you can’t bring yourself to touch his stuff after what you heard.
You pull on a tank top and a sweater and your fuzziest socks, hoping to chase away the cold, though it feels like it’s here to stay.
The apartment seems so empty without him there, and you yearn to check up on him and make sure he’s okay, but you don’t go near your phone.
He’s a grown man and he can take care of himself.
You barricade yourself in the bedroom, cuddled up under the blankets and holding one of your pillows to your chest as you watch reruns of Golden Girls.
You fall asleep before he gets home, though you’re awoken by the sound of the door opening.
Instead of perking up and meeting him like you usually would, you stay in bed, pillow hugged to your chest and eyes shut.
He’s stealthy as he joins you in bed, sliding in behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist.
It takes everything in you not to shake his arm off.
As he leans forward and presses a kiss to the back of your neck, a tear slides down your temple and buries itself in the pillows.
~*~
Steve’s confused at your sudden change in behaviour, constantly checking his phone for texts from you and missing your touch when he sits on the couch reading a report.
You’re standing in the kitchen a few days later, talking softly to Yelena and Wanda while Bucky, Natasha, Sam and Steve all sit on the couches in your living room.
The two women lead the way into the living room and you follow them, not stopping your conversation as you take a seat between the two of them.
Steve’s eyes are focused on you, waiting for you to look at him, to realize that you’re not sitting in the right spot and that you should be closer to him, but you never do.
You stay engaged in your conversation, laughing at something Yelena says before turning your attention to Wanda.
Bucky watches curiously as Steve balls his hands into fists then turns back to the conversation he was having, his voice slightly more strained than before.
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Bucky asks later that evening after almost everyone else has gone home.
You’re already in bed, oblivious to the conversation they’re having.
“I thought it was, but not cold turkey. She hardly texts me unless I text first, she doesn't kiss me goodbye anymore, and she hasn’t sat beside me once in the past week.”
Bucky shrugs, “you’re the one who said she was too clingy.”
Steve knows.
He fucking knows.
And maybe he’ll like it, but first, he needs to get to the bottom of why you’ve switched so quickly.
After bidding Bucky goodbye, Steve joins you in the bedroom, climbing into bed beside you and rolling onto his side to watch you.
Your attention is focused on the TV as if he isn’t in bed with you at all.
When he opens his mouth to speak, you reach over and turn off the lamp on the nightstand, then turn off the TV.
You don’t do it on purpose, but he doesn't say anything.
“Goodnight,” you whisper, turning onto your back and facing away from him.
He stares at you in shock.
The past couple of nights he’s come into bed after you’ve been asleep, but tonight he was sure you’d cuddle up against him like you usually do.
“Goodnight. I love you,” he murmurs, heart racing in his chest as he waits for your reply.
“I love you too.” There it is.
It settles his heart a tiny bit to hear you whisper the words, but he’s still confused by your actions.
You always cuddle up to him.
Always.
Every night that he’s been home for the past year.
And now you’re not even wearing his clothes to bed.
He can’t sleep at all that night, too focused on how strange you’ve been acting and how much he fucking hates it.
And then it dawns on him.
You must’ve heard him talking to Bucky.
That’s the only explanation.
His heart hurts in his chest and guilt floods his body. He tosses his head back against the pillows and squeezes his eyes shut, hating himself for ever speaking those stupid words.
He was just having a bad week. He was overwhelmed with work and briefings and then you were always by his side.
It was too much.
And now you’re doing everything in your power to distance yourself from him.
You’re lying in the same bed but you’ve never been further away.
Sure, he can feel the heat radiating off of your body, but you may as well be a thousand miles away.
The guilt wells up in his eyes and slips down his cheeks as he rolls onto his side and pulls you against his body, burying his face in your hair.
Fuck, he feels terrible.
All night he thinks about how much you do for him, how much you love him and everything you’ve given to him and sacrificed for him. And he couldn’t even appreciate you properly. No, he had to go and run his mouth about bullshit that he didn’t even mean.
He has to make this right.
He will.
He just has no idea where to start.
~*~
When you wake up the next morning there’s a strong arm secured around your waist.
You’re so used to waking up alone that you can’t help but cuddle into it. That is, until you remember his complaints.
Shifting as slowly as you can, you try to slip out of his grip, but he only wraps his arm around you tighter.
“You’re leaving?” He asks into your hair, his voice groggy.
You swallow hard and clear your throat.
“Bathroom,” is all you manage to whisper.
He lets out a heavy sigh but slowly unwinds his arm from around your waist.
“You’re gonna come back after, right?” He asks, his voice soft.
You hesitate before getting up, unsure of what to say.
Are you?
You don’t particularly want to.
Well, that’s not true. You want to, more than anything, but you don’t want to overwhelm him and smother him with your clingy nature.
“Do you want me to?” You end up asking, glancing over at him.
He slowly opens his eyes, sadness filling them, and you regret asking.
“Honey... what I said the other day... to Buck... I wasn’t thinking, sweetheart. I don’t think you’re too clingy, not at all. I think you’re perfect for me and the way that things have been lately
 All the distance between us? It’s been unbearable. I hate it. I didn’t know what changed at first but... I’m sorry.”
Your heart is in your throat at the fact that he knows you heard what he said.
“I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I’m sorry,” you whisper, pushing into a seated position to get off the bed.
“Honey, wait. Please. Please, don’t go. I miss you. So damn much. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were. And... I know that will probably take time, but I just miss you so fucking much.”
Tears prickle at your eyes and you sniffle, refusing to look at him.
“I didn’t mean to be clingy. I know... I know I can be a lot. It’s one of the issues Jeremy and I had. I can give you space, Steve.”
His heart cracks and he sits up behind you, one hand finding your lower back in an attempt to get closer to you.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want space. You’ve given me space and it’s been the worst experience of my life. I just want you back. I want to hold your hand and kiss you and talk to you and be near you. I love you and you... you make me feel important. You make me feel loved.”
He has to fight his own tears as he speaks, and you sit silently in front of him, eyes focused on the carpet.
“For so much of my life, I felt alone, besides Bucky. I felt like I had no one and no one would love me. And then I went under and I woke up and... everything was different. I was a man out of time. I never thought I would ever have found someone who loves me as wholly as you do. And I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you need to change yourself.”
His arms wind around you and he pulls your back against his chest, slowly rocking you from side to side as you sniffle.
“You are everything I have ever wanted and more, sweetheart. I love you for everything you are and everything you do, and I’m so damn sorry I ever made you feel like you were too clingy. You’re perfect for me. Sometimes I think that you’re the reason why I survived it all. Was so that I could find you. You’re it for me.”
His words help to heal the wounds he caused, but what really does it is the meaning behind it. The love he’s pouring into every syllable he speaks is powerful enough for you to feel without even trying.
You know he regrets what he said. But, more importantly, you know he’s not Jeremy.
Steve loves you.
Slowly, you turn in his arms and look up at him, and his heart breaks even more when he sees the tears on your cheeks.
“If I’m ever too much, you gotta promise to let me know, okay?” You whisper.
He huffs out a weak laugh and shakes his head, squeezing you to his chest.
“You are never too much for me. You’re everything I could ever want or need and so much more. You’re perfect for me. And I’m gonna try my hardest to be good enough for you because I love you. I love you with my whole heart and soul.”
“I love you too, Steve,” you whisper, burying your face in his shoulder as he hugs you tightly.
And there on the bed in the dim morning light, Steve clings to you.
He clings to you like you’re his lifeline, like you’re the energy that keeps him going.
He clings to you, and he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.
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indecisivemuch · 10 months ago
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Cupids in Converses
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: Valentine's was rolling up. You and Luke played Cupid on Percy and Annabeth. But what if playing matchmakers gave both you guys and your unspoken feelings the nudge that you guys have always needed? (Fluff, friends to lovers, happy ending)
Warning: sort of cliché, but it's Valentines so.
Note: Valentines got me in the mood of writing something rom-com-ish. Let's just assume Luke wears red converses that looks like Maia in the show. Also, I've been incredibly busy so I kinda rushed through this one to post it on time for Valentines.
Word count: 4.1k (whoops)
February has always filled the air with some sort of sugary chemical. Everything seemed sweeter like a pink filter had been put over the world. Some may dislike the upcoming February holiday, but it was perhaps one of your favorite times of the year. 
Why? You were somehow blessed with the skills of getting people together and nudging them just enough to cross the line they needed to. So far, you have managed to help six couples get together. With Valentine’s right around the corner, the urge to play cupid grew to the point it was itching your hands.
“Well, compared to the Chimera on Monday, Medusa on Sunday, could have been a lot worse,” Percy was quickly interrupted by Annabeth. 
“Medusa was Saturday.”
“I thought Sunday?”
“No monsters on Sunday. Monday, you died in a river.” You squint your eyes at the conversation that Percy and Annabeth were having. The familiar bells rang in your head; you could practically hear them roaring at you.
“Right, so Medusa on Saturday
” 
“Woah, guys, what’s this?” Luke interrupted. “When did you turn into an old married couple?” Percy and Annabeth both grew slightly flustered at the Hermes counselor’s words. Muttering a few things here and there, the two kids quickly excused themselves and walked off from you and Luke just to avoid the topic in general. You slowly turned towards Luke and peered up at him.
“Surely
” you spoke cryptically.
“Surely what?”
“Them!” you gestured to the direction that Percy and Annabeth had headed off to. You kicked a small rock with your Converse and watched it tumble away. “Surely we can give a little nudge?” you trailed off, bumping into Luke’s shoulder.
“You’re not seriously gonna play Cupid on them, right?”
“No, I’m not
because we are,” Luke let out a loud breath, hands on his hips as he peered down at you. However, you could see a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. 
“Sweet girl, I adore you, but why not let things run their course?” you hope he did not see the physical reaction over that nickname because, internally, your heart skipped a beat.
“Oh? And you’re telling me those six couples from before would have gotten together without me? You know I’m right about this kind of stuff. I can usually sense it. Besides, it’ll be fun, I promise.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“Uhm
you get to spend time with me?” you decided to answer, grinning up at Luke when he gave you a feigned unimpressed look. “Please, besides, you and Percy are close, so it would help a lot. I already have a plan and I need your help for it.”
One look into your eyes, and Luke knew he was doomed. For some reason, you just can make him do anything you ask. Luke could feel the hands on his hips slowly slipping as he looked into your eyes.
“Fine.”
Stage 1: Get Percy to realize his feelings cause he’s blind as hell
It was midnight and everybody else was asleep except for you and Luke. The two of you were in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible.
The two of you were making some fortune cookies for your plan. However, there was a tiny twist to the treat you two were making. You had personally printed out a couple of prompts that you wrote yourself in hopes they would nudge Percy into realizing his feelings. 
“Really?’“Romance is in the air. What you’re looking for is right in front of you’?” Luke read out the small piece of paper that you printed. You pulled the cookies out of the oven when they were ready.
“It’s cliche and sort of obvious, but hey! It’ll work because it’s Percy I’m working with,” you quickly pulled the paper out of his hand to put it in the fortune cookie before folding it into shape and letting it cool down.
“Mhm. He’s gonna realize you’re trying to play cupid.”
“Are we talking about the same person? I doubt Percy would realize. Annabeth would, hence why I’m not trying this on her.”
Luke helped you out with a couple of other spare fortune cookies that you two intended to keep for yourselves.
“Alright, finally done,” you muttered, washing your hands. However, you were caught off guard when Luke dipped his hand in the bag of flour on the counter and smeared some on your cheek. Your mouth hung slightly at this, and you looked up at him challengingly. You wiped your hands with a hand towel, “Oh? Is that how we’re playing it?”
“...No
” Luke sheepishly replied, a grin growing on his face when he saw the look of mischief creeping on your face.
“Game on, Castellan,” with that, you dipped both of your hands in flour and chased after the tall boy, who was sprinting around the counter. You caught up with Luke and compromised by smearing flour onto the back of his shirt first. At your attack, he turned around and smeared some more across your face from your other cheek to the top of your nose. You immediately did it back to him.
“Ok, ok, I surrender,” he coughed in between quiet waves of laughter after you smeared some from his cheek down his neck, marking your last attack.
For a moment, Luke and you stood in silence, but when you two let the state of one another sink in, laughs echoed throughout the room again. Luke was able to stop his laughter first, though he was still wearing a wide grin. He washed the flour off his face and dried it with kitchen tissues as you muttered: “Oh, I wish I had a camera. I could practically blackmail you with that photo.”
“I have no doubt you would have never let me live that down,” while replying, Luke also approached you and started wiping the flour off your nose before moving to your cheeks. Your laughter slowly faded as your cheeks heated at the feeling of his hand on your skin. He was looking at you so tentatively. Callous hands - a reflection of his remarkable title as best swordsman - delicately holding your face as if you were the rarest diamond to exist.
Something about this moment felt so domestic. Luke allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that this is how it would feel like to be with you and share cute moments like these together. Luke unbeknownstly let out a breath he didn’t know he was keeping in as he made eye contact with you. 
However, the moment was interrupted by another camper who yelped upon seeing you two in the kitchen. The presence of another person caused you two to spring apart. “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave,” the camper muttered, clearly abandoning their plan of stealing food and sweets in the middle of the night. Luke coughed to break the silence.
“So what’s the plan after giving it to Percy?” Luke asked, looking down at the fortune cookies before picking one up and munching on it.
“Hopefully, he’ll finally realize his feelings, and when he does
Percy will come to you, for sure.”
Stage 2: Romantic gesture
You were right, Percy came to Luke for dating advice. As you planned, Luke suggested that Percy make a flower crown for Annabeth. Hence, here the Hermes counselor was - with Percy as he picked out flowers for Annabeth.
"I'm gonna need you to guide me on this 'cause I've never made flower crowns before," Percy muttered as he picked out California Poppins, Annabeth's favorite. Luke grinned at this. He found it interesting how the young boy already knew. "Maybe you could make one for someone special too?" Percy said, his voice somewhat unsure. 
At the young boy's words, Luke froze. The first person that seemed to pop into his mind when Percy said that was you.
"I mean, might as well, right? It's for Valentine's. Maybe you could give it to someone who means a lot to you and makes you happy?" Percy spoke, though there was something instigative about his tone.
Happy. The word bounced in between the walls of Luke's mind. Once again, the first thing that flashed in his head was you. Then, a surge of images came running from memories of you two. He almost could not remember happiness before you. A warm feeling embedded in his chest as he pictured your smile. Just seeing you happy seemed to do it for him, like you could spread happiness to him by just looking at him. You were like the first glimmer of daylight after a cold night. He subconsciously smiled at that thought.
You have always made him feel loved, even though he knew you were probably doing it platonically. However, he would gladly take any form of love that he could receive from you. Every day, waking up and knowing he had you in his life was good enough for him. Maybe he should try giving you more hints. Maybe you'll finally see it. Perhaps Percy was right with the flower crown idea. 
“Uhm, sure,” with that, Luke decided to take some of your favorite flowers into his hand and went to a nearby table, where he started guiding Percy on how to make a flower crown. However, ever so often, his mind would trail to its own thoughts whenever he focused on making this flower crown for you.
Percy watched Luke as the older boy started intensely working on his own flower crown, crafting it with so much care as if it was an artwork intended for a national museum. If Percy didn’t know better, he would think Luke was a perfectionist.
Meanwhile, you were sitting with Annabeth near the ocean where she had previously pushed Percy into the waters, leading to Poseidon claiming him. You asked, “Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” 
“No, you?”
“Nope.”
“Oh?” she replied, though you tilted your head at the tone of her voice. “I’m just surprised,” Annabeth explained as she looked out at the ocean instead of at you. “I mean
I thought you and Luke
”
“Huh?—”
“Well, I mean, you two are together all the time, and there seems to be something going on —”
“What do you mea—”
“It always seems like you two would gravitate to one another. I just assumed you two were together already—”
“We’re
just friends,” you settled on saying, though you could hear your heart beating loudly, seemingly echoing near your chest and neck. Of course, you knew you had feelings for Luke. However, you have always ruled it as a silly little crush.
“...You sure? You sound really unsure,” Annabeth challenged, making you sigh. 
“I mean, he’s really sweet, and nice
”
“Uh-huh”
“And he makes me laugh all the time
”
“That’s good,” Annabeth’s words echoed as you sunk into silence and started reflecting on who Luke was to you. He has always made you feel cared for. Out of everybody at camp, perhaps he was the one you were most comfortable with, never having to be afraid of being yourself. Almost all of your favorite memories at camp included him in them. 
You remember the night you told him about your minor fear of the darkness and how he promised to always protect you in it. In a way, since then, he has become your light. You always felt lit up when he made his way to you. Your eyes are always drawn to him like a moth to its flame. Then, it finally dawned on you how serious your feelings were. You realized how most of the time you seemed to be mindless about the existence of your heart until Luke was around because it was only then that your heart would tug or race to run you breathless. You gulped as your eyes darted around slightly. 
“I mean
maybe
” you started but snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Luke’s voice. And there it was again, the silly familiar tug your heart was doing just from his voice. “Hey
” you greeted Luke and Percy before noticing Percy with a flower crown in his hand. 
“Annabeth, can I speak to you privately?” Annabeth stood up and gestured for Percy to lead the way, presumably somewhere, so the young boy could give her the flower crown and ask her out on Valentine’s Day. You remained seated, still pondering at your feelings and wondering when they had exponentially grown that much. 
“I actually have something for you as well,” you finally looked up at Luke when he said this. You noticed he had his hands behind his back. Something about the way he looked now seemed so shy and timid, which was unlike the outgoing and confident boy you always knew.
Your mouth fell agape when he pulled out a flower crown made of your favorite flower. “Luke
” you said his name and stood up when you saw the item.
However, because your eyes were on his gift, you didn’t notice the way Luke’s breath hitched at the sound of your voice calling out his name. He never thought it was anything special until November two years ago when you said his name while laughing at one of his jokes by the campfire. It was probably a moment you did not remember, but ever since then, he felt so sure that he was named so because the name sounded like it was born just for the sole purpose of being sounded from your lips. 
“I made this for you,” he muttered, though it sounded almost like a whisper. His eyes shifted to both of your Converses instead of at you. Something about this made him so nervous as if he was handing you his heart instead of a simple gift. He almost scowled at himself for acting like a boy in kindergarten, confessing to his crush.
If only Luke was looking at you because you were looking at him and the item in awe. Your cheeks flushed from his gesture. Though, you were somewhat glad he was not looking at you because you were sure one look at you right now would tell Luke exactly everything about your feelings. You were a blushing mess. “Luke, thank you so much. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you made one for me.”
You touched Luke’s hand that was holding the crown, and he almost grew an even deeper shade of red. “Put it on my head,” you instructed, and he obliged just like everything else you would ask. He was sure he must have caught a sickness or something for wanting to follow you this blindly. But you were perhaps the only one with the power to get him to do absolutely anything. Just as the crown touched your hair, you peered up at him, and the sight alone made Luke swallow nervously. 
You looked breathtaking.
And he meant this literally because Luke felt like he stopped breathing for a second. He could not look away. That was until you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him. His arms wrapped around your neck almost immediately to return the hug as if they existed to only hold you. 
However, unlike the hundreds of hugs before, this one felt different. It was as if something had shifted and was bound to unfold.
Final Stage: Valentine’s Day
Annabeth had said yes.
You were ecstatic to learn that the young girl had agreed to go on a Valentine’s date with Percy. Even though you didn’t want to intrude, you and Luke decided to just have a peep to see what Percy had planned. You were not planning to stay long. It was just a sort of reward or a way to see your plan grow into fruition. You smiled when you spot the cute picnic date near the shore.
“See, I told you the plan was going to work,” you muttered as you tiptoed up in your converses to peer at the kids through the tall bushes nearby. You almost lost balance and step onto Luke's shoes that were similar to yours, except his was red.
The boy quickly steadied you with his hand on your waist. You muttered a quick thank you before turning back to the kids, trying to ignore the blush that was slowly decorating your cheeks. But you were quickly caught off guard at the sight of Percy and Annabeth pushing a small boat off the shore and hopping on it.
“Uhm
that is not what I expected. Where are they going?” Luke looked over your shoulder when you said that. Your eyes fluttered at his warm breath hitting your neck. 
However, you noticed the two kids looking like they were in trouble and panicking as they quickly started rowing away. You turned your head towards Luke, forgetting he was very close to you. Your voice faltered as you were about to utter your next sentence. Noticing this, Luke turned to you, only causing the two of you to come face to face with little distance in between. You gulped and forced yourself not to glance down at his lips, “Do you think they’re okay? Should we follow them? I mean
what if they’re in trouble?”
Seeing the worried look on your face, Luke frowned. He deeply disliked anything that caused that kind of expression on your face. Hence, he decided to go over to the second boat there and started pushing it towards the water. “Come on,” you hopped onto the small boat with him and started rowing after Percy and Annabeth, hoping to help them from whatever trouble they were seeming to have.
After a few minutes of rowing behind them, you saw Percy and Annabeth rowing into a small tunnel. Luke and you quickly followed in, rowing your boat, only to be engulfed by darkness upon entering the tunnel.
The wind blew much harder in there, causing goosebumps on your arm as your hand gripped your oar tightly. To make matters worse, it was your most hated type of darkness - utter pitch black. Even with your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you could see nothing, not even Luke. 
You were fine with darkness in familiar places like your cabin, where you knew at least there were other campers around and you were safe. You were also mostly fine with darkness where you could see as your eyes adjusted to it. But here, you were in a tunnel you’ve never been in, where there were possibly monsters that could attack you at any moment. 
You were slightly startled by the hand that softly touched yours that, unbeknownst to you, was crushing the wooden oar. You immediately recognize it was Luke’s hand from the warmth and familiar touch. He soothingly ran his thumb across your hand. His actions were proven effective at calming you down when you could feel your grip loosen around the tool.
“Breathe, sweet girl,” his words somehow made you release the breath you were subconsciously holding.
A few seconds later, the lights were turned on. You were met with one of the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen. Lights were decorating the path throughout the tunnel. There were also plants and trees with extended branches and leaves that softly brushed past the boat Luke and you were on. 
Suddenly, you both heard a tune start playing quietly in the background, almost quiet enough to make you two think you were imagining it:
“There you see her, sitting there across the way.
She don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about her”
His thumb hasn’t stopped rubbing over your knuckles even though the darkness was no longer casting over the both of you. His eyes were absorbing how you looked at that moment, embracing it. You were absolutely stunning and he was hopelessly infatuated with you. 
“And you don’t know why, but you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl.”
The lyrics made Luke subconsciously lick his lips as he pictured himself kissing you. Gods, he wondered if his heart would even survive doing so and whether anything would ever surpass getting to kiss you. Your eyes flickered to Luke's lips, and he noticed it. He also noticed how your cheeks flushed as you gulped at his actions.
“Luke.”
“Y/N,” you almost melted at the way Luke was saying your name as if it was an honor or privilege to do so. The tone he used was sweeter than any dessert you have ever had. Gods, it was as if your name was a sacred passage he lived by.
“Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do”
Indeed he was looking at you, and it felt almost like he was spellbound because he could not take his eyes off you. Right then, you could see it all - he was utterly smitten. He was giving you a soft smile. The lights decorating the tunnel shimmered in his eyes, illuminating just enough to display his pupils and how they almost completely overtook the usual dark brown color that you love. Before you knew it, he was leaning closer to you on the small boat and you mirrored his action.
“Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her
”
Just when Luke was inches from your face, he stopped. His eyes longingly stare at your lips like a long-awaited dream that was within his grasp but not quite within his grip yet. You noticed how he took a deep breath as if mustering all the drops of courage he had. His eyes fluttered shut for a second before he opened them again. 
“Can I?” he uttered only two words, but somehow, his voice conveyed enough the yearning coursing through every inch of his body. Luke gulped as he restrained himself from closing the distance and waited for your consent. 
You nodded wordlessly.
“It don’t take a word, not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl.”
Almost instantly, he caressed both sides of your face and sealed the deal.
All the glory Luke has gained throughout the years seemed trivial compared to kissing you. It almost convinced him that everything he had gone through to get here today was worth it. He hummed against your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Kissing you felt like the best gift he had ever gotten in his entire life. Luke knew he was forever screwed from the way it felt. He could not fathom the idea of his lips ever touching anyone else’s. Maybe they were made for you, but his heart and mind do not seem to oppose that idea.
You slowly slid your arms down, allowing your hands to caress his jawline and the sides of his face. However, your hands slightly jolted at the pace of his heartbeat along the side of his neck. It was as if his heart was trying to break out of his body. Your own heart started replicating the same rhythm. It had you flustered that you had such an effect on him. 
Luke broke away from the kiss breathlessly. For a second, he hated the idea of needing air to live because if he could, he would not have stopped showing you how much his lips belonged to you. His forehead leaned against yours while his hands rested on your hips. He looked at you endearingly as if he could not fathom that he just got to kiss you. You smiled at the sight of him.
“I know I’m a tad bit late, but will you be my Valentine?” he sweetly asked. 
“Of course, Luke.” Luke grinned at your answer. He drew you in for another kiss as giggles escaped your lips and echoed through the tunnel that now marked an important memory for the two of you.
You truly must be Cupid because your plan not only worked for Percy and Annabeth, but somehow also indirectly gave Luke and you the nudge you both needed.
14th February marked the day when two Cupids wearing Converses got their happy ending. 
Bonus:
“I told you that would work,” Annabeth whispered to Percy as the two hopped back onto their boat with a speaker in hand, rowing away hastily to be out of sight from the older couple.
Little did you know, Annabeth had orchestrated the whole thing, including the conversation between her and Percy about their mission in front of Luke and you. Annabeth’s plan of getting Luke and you together through playing cupid together had seemingly worked just like she had planned.
Who said you were the only cupid at Camp Half-Blood?
----------------------
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bumblebeesfromvenus · 4 months ago
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TF141 taking you on a picnic date 💐
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They're a little very all over the place because I wrote all of them on different days lol
I hope you'll enjoy it anyway <3
Some NSFW for all of them, but it's just a little bit at the very end, the rest is sweet fluff!!
Lmk who you would go on a picnic date with!
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John is such a romantic.
Maybe not the flashy kind, but in subtle and sincere ways. He would absolutely love to take you on a picnic date, he might even be more excited about it than you are.
You know how girls have those dreams of specific dates or scenarios??? Well, boys have that too, and this is John's. He finds the perfect spot, a secluded park with a field of wildflowers that bloom beautifully in the summer.
As ready as he was to organize the whole thing himself in the matter of a day, he'd adore to organize it with you. Write a grocery list, make some homemade goods, pack up the car. The domesticity makes his heart do flips.
"Do you reckon champagne would be too over the top?"
"John, honey, we're going on a picnic."
"TouchĂš."
And it's 100% fool proof.
This man has something planned for every single scenario because nothing will ruin this for him. He'll hold your umbrella while he gets soaked if he has to.
He hasn't asked you to marry him yet, but this seals the deal for him. He's already imagining going on a picnic like this on every single anniversary until you're physically unable to.
Did he overdo it a bit with the outfit? Maybe, but he couldn't care less about potential grass stains when his white button-down shirt and his beige slacks basically make you drool.
John insisted on a classic picnic basket, but he'll accept input regarding the pattern of the blanket. He's so utterly in love with you it's ridiculous. And when you come down the stairs in a flowy and floral sundress the blood in his body doesn't know where to rush first, his heart or his cock.
"Fucking hell, dove. You look divine."
He makes heart eyes at you but also has a raging hard on. What can he say? You keep him balanced.
John has to try so hard not to drop to his knees in front of you and beg. For what? He doesn't even know. It just feels like the right thing to do with you looking like a goddess. He loves it when he can press his nose against your soft mound all while his forehead rests on your pudgy tummy and your fingers card through his hair.
The drive there is lovely. The sun is out, it's a comfortable temperature, and the mood is high. The windows are rolled down, and you both sing along to music while his hand is planted firmly in yours. The location is even more beautiful than you thought. There's willow trees and all kinds of sweet smelling flowers accompanied by the symphony of busy bees and chirping birds.
After everything is set up, it's the best day of your life, probably. It's so so so nice.
And yes, he did bring the champagne.
Your head is in his lap while he strokes your hair and feeds you bits of cake. It's so romantic that it's sickening. SICKENING, I say. He's just so perfect. You talk and laugh, and it's so fun. T
he day goes by in the blink of an eye, and suddenly, it's golden hour, and John swears you're heaven on earth. You're so pretty, and he wants nothing more than to kiss you silly, frankly.
So he does.
Just bristly and sloppy kisses wherever he can reach, your cheeks, jaw, neck. You shift your position, you're now lying down on the blanket, facing each other. The tips of your noses touch, and you're a tangled mess of limbs.
John wants to fuck you more than he ever wanted anything in his life, but he's a man of style, so rubbing you through your panties until your hips buck away from his hand will have to do until you get home and he can take care of you properly <3
.·:*šàŒș àŒ»Âš*:·.
Johnny only wants to spend time with you. He doesn't care how.
He'll do anything to be by your side. Such a clingy bastard but we all love him for that. He loves being outside, and now he gets to let out his romantic side, too???? He's sold.
I'm also firmly convinced that he listened in on what his sisters gushed about in books or movies, and he uses that as his guideline for dates.
He makes sure there's a variety of different foods. Let's be honest he probably packed way too much, but he just wants to have options! Frankly, Johnny's is positively buzzing with excitement to get to spend such a lovely day with you.
As much as he loves to laze around with you on the couch, he needs air to breathe. So anything that's outside is an immediate yes from him. He's so so so excited that he doesn't shut up about it for days before the actual date.
Johnny is 100% one to overpack. He takes absolutely EVERYTHING, and you end up not even using half of it.
"I- Johnny??"
"Yeah, bonnie?"
"Why, for the love of God, did you bring a hazmat suit???"
"Ya never know!"
He will pack so many outdoor activities, like frisbee, badminton, a football, literally so much but you don't end up using any of it because he'll doze off as the sun shines down on the both of you.
He just can't help it! Your pudgy tummy is such a nice pillow, and the way your fingers rake through his mohawk and over his scalp nearly make his eyes roll into the back of his head.
He doesn't notice the smiles and nice looks the pair of you get from bypassers, but you can't help but giggle. It makes your belly jiggle, which in turn makes Johnny smile, still face down in your soft fat.
After he wakes up, though, there's a lot of talking that you'll happily listen to.
Corny jokes, overexaggerated stories from missions or his family, and from time to time, he'll get distracted by your pretty face with all its soft edges and kiss you.
Constant snacking. I mean, we all know the boys can EAT, but Johnny is such a foodie. Will eat everything and anything.
He also LOVES Irn Bru. It's definitely more of an... acquired taste, shall we say, but I think it's also very nostalgic for him.
He doesn't care what you wear. However, there are some things that get him feral. Sundresses are obviously on the list, but he adores long skirts. He likes how they flow when there's a nice breeze, and he thinks they make you look very elegant.
He will play into the whole Princess charade with long skirts or dresses.
"There's ma princess. Are ya ready to depart, m'lady?"
He will also bow very dramatically.
Undoubtedly, his favorite part of those skirts is when he gets to push them up your plush thighs and bury is face in your sweet cunt while the fabric is bunched up around your wide hips and fiddles with the hem because his goal is to bring you to bliss with his tongue only <3
.·:*šàŒș àŒ»Âš*:·.
Kyle loves the water.
I don't know why, but I feel it in my bones. From streams and lakes all the way to the great big ocean. His casual style in the summer would definitely be coastal grandson, too.
So your picnic date would obviously take place in the vinicty of water. It's somewhere in a small park that has a nice big lake with lilypads and ducks swimming across it.
You'd be right by the shore, feet in the shallow water while you enjoy your lunch. Kyle is so sweet and considerate!
He'd bring you a bouquet of daisies and lovingly hold your hand in his. If it gets a little too breezy, he'll tuck you into his side and stretch his jacket over the both of you as much as he can.
He always brings you a new rock from that lake when he comes home from his morning run, and when you two are at the beach, he'll collect seashells with you.
It's all about balance and teamwork with Kyle. He makes the sandwiches while you whip up a quick sweet treat. You carry the basket while he has the blanket slung over his shoulder and your drinks in the other hand!
I feel like he'd really enjoy picnics, but they're not his favorite activity. He likes to explore a bit, just sitting around isn't quite his style. But it's nice to just sit and breathe sometimes.
For dates, he prefers the classic going out to dinner. Getting to see you all dressed up in the gentle atmosphere of a cozy restaurant makes his heart swell. But he won't ever deny you anything. Definitely not something as simple as a picnic.
A big smile stretches across his cheeks when he sees a little duck family waddling along the shore before they glide into the water.
"You think we'll have little ducklings of our own one day?"
You can only match his smile as you follow his line of sight.
"Who knows, maybe."
He pulls you close and presses a kiss to your temple. The picnic is starting to grow on him.
"... did you mean actual ducklings, or was it a metaphor for kids?"
"Both?"
As badly as you want to call him ridiculous, the mental image of Kyle with a duckling or a baby makes your heart beat with affection.
Also does not care what you wear, but he, too, has a weakness for sundresses as all men do. The way it hugs your ass, your tummy, and your supple tits makes him want to sink his teeth into your soft flesh.
An absolute sucker for a square neckline. No, I can not elaborate. You'll just have to take my word for it.
You watch the sunset together, the park becoming emptier as the light fades. He loves how you look during the golden hour and will gently hold your face to admire all your pretty features. Kyle likes that the park now only has the both of you and a pair of swans that swim over the lake like lovers.
What he loves even more is making you ride his slender fingers while the only sounds that fill the air is the chirping of cicadas and your heavenly moans while the remnants of the golden sun shine down on you making you look like a dream come true <3
.·:*šàŒș àŒ»Âš*:·.
Simon isn't thrilled, let's say.
When he thinks of picnics he thinks of big open spaces, obnoxious people with annoying kids and uncomfortable wooden benches. Of which none are his cup of tea.
So you make compromises. Talk about it and ask what he would be okay with. He isn't the biggest fan of PDA, he's stuck between wanting to show off his love for you to the whole world and keeping it close to his heart like the sacred thing that it is.
But Simon perks up when you mention something about a lovely forest that's pretty secluded. Now that he can work with. Even though he's a born city boy, he'd much rather take a walk in a forest or on a little trail than on the busy streets of Manchester or London.
So he agrees, deciding that your excited reaction and thank you kisses were already worth it. He watches as you prepare the lunch you're taking with you, answering all your questions on what he'd prefer.
The truth, he'd eat rocks if your lovely hands prepared them.
He packs up the car and drives to the car park nearby, grumbling over the fee before it all melts away when he sees your smile.
The walk there on its own is nice. Holding your hand and listening to the birdsong that echoes along the tall trees. Of course, he's carrying everything.
You will never ever have to carry anything with him around, not on his watch. It's his way of repaying you for taking care of him and loving him. He would've carried you as well if you weren't so fussy about it.
When you set up the blanket and just lay down, it's the first time you think you've ever seen his shoulders untense on their own.
Simon's eyes even flutter shut, and his breath evens out.
It's just the two of you in a little glade with the vast green of the woods making your own little sanctuary.
Your head is on his shoulder, and his nose is buried in your hair.
"This.. this is nice."
He speaks so softly as if not to disturb the peace of nature. You can't help but smile and press a kiss to his cheek.
"I'm glad you think so. It is really nice."
It's mostly pleasant silence after that with the occasional short conversation, but that's how you like it best.
When you hand him his lovingly prepared sandwich, he catches your chin between his fingers and kisses you so softly that you melt right into his touch.
"You're so patient with me, love. I appreciate it."
"Of course. A few compromises aren't the end of the world if it means you're happy."
He's a fucking goner, okay.
He loves it when you wear one of his sweat jackets or flannels over a nice dress. It's so obviously not yours which signals to other people that you're taken.
And considering the size and color of the thing, it's safe to assume it belongs to that hunk of a man always by your side.
He lays back onto the soft blanket and pulls you onto his chest, wrapping his arms around you. There are a few sun spots shining through the thick canopy of leaves, warming your skin.
You're half asleep, dozing off, ignoring the way he fiddles with his trousers until he pushes your panties to the side and sinks his thick cock into your pussy, having you warm his length. It makes him feel so impossibly close to you and his brain melts and before you know it, he's snoring beneath you, his dick buried inside of you <3
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☜ àŒ“ ☟ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☜ àŒ“ ☟ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
I hope you liked it! <3
More CoD and other works -> đŸ’«
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nottyoursbutmine · 5 months ago
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cruel summer | t.n
pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff soulmate reader
the one where nott and Y/N never wanted a soulmate. so why can’t they stop thinking about each other after they agree to never talk about it again?
this is my first writing and you can totally tell. it’s super long for no reason so pls be nice. it has 3 OC in hufflepuff. totally wrote this overnight so I rushed the ending can you tell?
cruel summer - taylor swift
—
You’re listening to your best friend, Sophia, as you’re walking towards the Great Hall. For the past two weeks she has been ranting about the same thing, Blaise Zabini, her soulmate.
As she’s going on about the colors of trees, our uniforms, and flowers you can’t help but space off. They met while being paired up during Potions and spoke their first soulmate words to each other. She has always wanted to meet her soulmate and ever since then, she’s been happier than ever.
You have never wanted to meet your soulmate. The thought of being trapped down and having children will not be your future.
“Are you even listening to me?” Sophia asks.
“Oh, um
of course I was, Blaise is perfect, the sky is magical?” You say with uncertainty. You’re arriving at the Great Hall and approach your table to sit down.
She gives you a look and says, “No, you know exactly what I was saying
please Y/N!”
“Can I just ask why is this so important to you? I mean, it’s not as if we would have anything in common. Slytherin do not make friends with Hufflepuffs,” you say with a straight face. Compared to her always happy demeanor, you were the type of girl who looked at the glass half empty. Not to say you weren’t kind to everyone you met, but you were a realist.
“I have been trying to introduce you to Blaises’ friends since we met
 please?” As she sits across from you at the table, she gives you her biggest smile, one that you can never say no to.
As you pick at your food, you finally give in. “Okay, fine but we have to invite the rest of the girls.”
She squeals, leans over the table and gives you a hug. You’ve never been one for physical contact but you’ve been friends with Sophia since diapers, so you do your best and pat her back.
-
You’re sitting on your bed with your curtains drawn staring at the words on your wrist, thinking about the power they hold. Your entire future is determined by your first words with a stranger. The words were harsh, feeding into your whole ‘wanting to be alone,’ thing. You wonder what their words say.
Seeing colors is something you have also always wondered about. What are the colors of your eyes and hair? What is the color green and why does it make nature look so beautiful? What about flowers? And the color of your clothes?
However, does spending forever with someone you didn’t get to choose sound worth it? You have heard stories of colors fading for people who have lost their soulmate or chosen to be alone, you wonder if that’s true.
You hear the door burst open and Sophia say, “Okay, get ready everyone! We’re going to the Slytherin common room.”
You pull your curtains back, then look at Violet and Ariana, Violet lets out a small laugh from her bed and says “What?”
“Yup! We are meeting Blaise, Riddle, Nott, Berkshire, and Malfoy in 1 hour,” Sophia says, “so you all better start getting ready.”
You all get up with a groan as you get up and all go into the bathroom to get ready. You decide to put on a warm sweatshirt/sweats set because it’s cold out and blowout your hair. You exit the bathroom and all make your way out of the Hufflepuff house.
Walking to the Slytherin common room seemed faster than it should have been. Sophia talked most of the way, assuring us that this will be fun. She always seemed to be the positive one in our group. She states that the guys are nicer in person and only look scary from afar or something like that.
As you get closer you see Zabini waiting outside. Sophia walked towards Blaise, greeting him with a kiss. “Blaise, these are my friends, Violet, Ariana and Y/N.”
He shakes Violet’s and Ariana’s hand, trying to make a good first impression on his soulmates friends and as he extends his hand towards you and Sophia stops him, “Y/N doesn’t touch.”
You feel your heart get warm, you didn’t know how you were going to get out of that awkward situation. She knows you so well, you just give her a small smile as a thank you.
He just chuckles and says, “Exactly like someone else I know. Okay, c’mon the guys are inside.” As you walk in you can’t help but look around, even though you can’t see colors, the Slytherin common room has always been famously talked about and you wanted to know what the fuss was about.
You see Berkshire sitting on an armchair, reading a book. Malfoy is sitting on the floor with his back to the couch and he’s doing homework on the table. Riddle laying on a couch and Nott laying on the couch across from him talking you think about Herbology.
“Girls, these are the guys, right there is Malfoy. Right there is Riddle, over there is Nott, and there is Berkshire.” Zabini says pointing over at them without looking, without caring. It made you internally laugh.
Your eyes glaze over the boys and you just give them a smile. The girls give the boys their biggest smile and say hello, Ariana even goes as far as to give her famous flirtatious hugs. Not that you are judging, these guys are attractive.
Nott and Riddle sit down on the couches to make room for you girls. You sit next at the end of the couch to the left of Violet, who’s in the middle sitting next to Riddle. Ariana is sitting across from you, to the right of Sophia. Sophia is sitting next to Zabini, who’s finally sitting next to Nott at the very left. Berkshire is hadn’t moved from his place in the arm chair and Malfoy had collected his homework, but was still sitting on the floor.
The usual topics come by, grades, hate for the teachers, holidays, and the usual family drama. “Okay let’s get real, has everyone here met their soulmate?” Ariana asks.
Berkshire begins to rant about his soulmate, one that everyone knew he had. It was nice to hear him say those sweet words about her.
Malfoy rolls his eyes and says, “Doesn’t everyone already know the answer to this question? It’s not as if this school doesn’t spread the word as soon as it happens.”
Riddle laughs looking over at him, “You’re just upset because Granger is mad at you right now.”
“I don’t know why you don’t go apologize to her like I’ve been saying, staying here isn’t going to help her forgive you,” Berkshire says.
“He’s right, you need to man up and go to her dorm,” Nott speaks up, “if you don’t she’ll be pissed forever man.”
Malfoy looks like he wants to kill all his friends as he gets up and storms out of the common room, assumingely on his way to the Gryffindor house.
Malfoy, Berkshire, and Zabini are the only ones in the group who have found their soulmates, leaving Riddle and Nott to find theirs.
As everyone but Nott and you answer the question, the tension shifts. “So Y/L/N, have you found your soulmate?” Riddle asks, a hint of suggestiveness in his voice.
All eyes fall on you, “Um...No, I haven’t, but I don’t want to either, so
” you say trailing off.
“You don’t want to? Sounds familiar. Can we ask why you don’t want to?” He pries while glancing to the side, at something or someone. You’re not sure if you imagine it but everyone leans in closer, except for Nott of course, who’s sitting against the couch, eyes not leaving you.
“Well, let’s just say, I’m not going to let some words, colors, and a stranger determine a future I have already envisioned for myself, one that does not have a soulmate,” you have the straightest face and you’re not sure if it’s just your natural face or if you’re just annoyed by all these questions.
The boys sit in silence as they all give each other looks to your answer, however Nott is just staring at you and for some reason you’re afraid to look his way.
It seems like the night has ended with what you said and you decide you need to leave to room immediately. “Okay well, if that’s all I’m going now
I have to go to the library to finish my homework.”
Violet and Ariana follow you out, Sophia stays behind to spend more time with Zabini. As you’re walking you feel eyes burning into the back of your head.
-
Heading back to your common room from the library alone before curfew was a usual trip for you. The dark, empty corridor never scared you, it actually brought you peace. Ariana was the only one who preferred to study with you, but today she wanted to rest.
Fever dream high in the quiet of the night
While turning a corner you trip over something you don’t see, hands wrap around torso preventing you from falling. You drop your books and loose papers on the ground. You immediately push yourself away from the person holding you up.
It’s so dark out, you can’t see the tall figure, however, as you bend over to pick up everything you dropped, his shoes look expensive.
And so you do what you do best, apologize,“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Than-”
You feel the person slightly freeze but not enough for you to process it, “My god, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Now it’s your turn to freeze. You’re afraid to look up, you’re afraid to even move. All of a sudden everything is different, you understand what Sophia means when she says the lights are yellow and actually do light up the night. You look at your clothes and see your yellow set. Everything yellow.
You’re not even sure why but you thought you had more time to find them. You’ve collected all your things and you’re still there staring at the ground. How are you supposed to tell this guy you’re not interested?
As you stand up, you stare into the eyes of Theodore Nott and you’re not sure what you feel. His eyes are so brown, his hair is so brown and he looks so attractive in his Slytherin uniform.
You’re both just standing staring at each other and you’re not sure what to say to him. Should you rip the bandaid off?
“Okay so, I don’t want you and you don’t want me, right? Let’s just pretend this never happened,” he has the straightest face ever.
You’re grateful he said it first so you didn’t have to but you’re not sure why you’re heart skipped a beat, almost like his words hurt you. “Okay.”
You’re not sure what else to say and you’re also not sure why your heart is now beating so hard in your chest. The colors don’t even matter anymore, what only matters to you now is that he’s in front of you and that he was just in front of you a few hours earlier, yet you never spoke one word to each other.
You thought the conversation was over, you thought he would walk away. He clears his throat, “Okay well then, let’s shake on it,” he says as he extends his hand out to you without looking away from your eyes.
You look at his hand and in a beat place your hand in his, slowly shaking it. “So we agree to not tell anyone,” looking back in his eyes. Your heart starts beating faster and your mind starts racing. You pull your hand back and say, “Goodbye then,” you walk away and don’t look back.
-
Ariana wakes you up the next morning, saying something about almost being late for breakfast.
As you get up, enter the bathroom to get ready and put your uniform on, you curl your hair and put it in a ponytail with side pieces out.
As you exit the bathroom you see Sophia sitting on her bed. “What do you all say about sitting with Blaise and the boys for breakfast this morning?” she says with a grin.
Ariana claps her hands together, jumping up and down, “That would be so fun. Last night was so fun!” Throughout the night she became good friends with the boys by gossiping about the teachers and student drama in the school.
Violet gives Sophia a small smile, “I think that would be nice.”
All eyes turn to me, I roll eyes in sarcasm, “Okay, let’s just go or all the blueberry muffins will be gone and you know how I feel about that.”
-
You follow Sophia to the Slytherin table and as the boys see you all approach, you see Zabini say something to them, making them scoot over. Sophia casually sits next to Zabini at the end of the table. You sit down first, scooting over for Ariana and Violet. Riddle is to your right, Nott directly across from you, and Violet to your left.
You immediately begin looking around for a blueberry muffin but don’t see one, the only one you see is on Notts plate. So you go for the second best option, banana bread.
“Aw we were too late? I’m sorry hun. Tomorrow will be better,” Sophia says with her positive attitude. You give her a smile and try to not continue the conversation.
“Late for what?” Riddle asks with a mouth full of food.
“Nothi-”
“Y/N loves her blueberry muffin for breakfast,” Violet says as if it’s the biggest secret in the school. You shrug because it’s true, there’s nothing better to start your day off with.
“Here then.” Nott holds out his plate offering you his muffin. The guys give him a look as if he just told them he’s joining the circus.
“No, it’s yours,” you say, giving him the exact same look.
He pushes the plate closer to you, “Take the damn muffin if you’re going to be complaining about it.”
The energy has completely changed, “Woah man, what the hell?” Berkshire says, sitting to Notts left.
Your eyes narrow at him, push the plate away and in your calmest voice say, “I didn’t complain about any damn thing, you’re getting hysterical Nott. Why don’t you calm down?”
And with that, he storms out of the Great Hall leaving his friends to question exactly what happened.
You’re left staring at where he was sitting, hurt in your chest but you both made this decision. And if you bleed he’ll be the last to know.
-
It’s been two weeks since you have found Nott, two weeks since you’ve been trying your best to avoid him, and two weeks since you’ve been failing at it.
You’re sitting in the library with Cedric working on your project. You’ve been working for hours and for hours Nott and Berkshire have been sitting in your line of view doing ‘homework.’ You turn back to Cedric, this grade is more important than some boy.
For some reason, Nott can’t look away from you. His mind is going crazy knowing you’re avoiding him. He’s the one who made this decision, why can’t he get you off his mind?
He thinks about the first words you spoke to each other and regrets being so harsh towards you, he wonders if you hate him for that. He wonders if the words on your skin have taunted you forever and if that’s truly why you don’t want a soulmate.
Colors haven’t faded for him, probably because he keeps following you, trying to be close to you. The color of your hair and eyes, your after school outfits. Your smile and the way you tilt your head back when you laugh. He cannot look away from you.
Berkshire realizes Nott isn’t paying attention to him at all, turning around to see what he’s staring at. “Merlin, is she your soulmate or something?”
Notts heart skips a beat, “What are you talking about? O-Of course she’s not,” trying his best to play it off.
Berkshire gives Nott a look, “You constantly follow her around, you threatened Cedric to not make a move even though he has a soulmate, you always save a blueberry muffin at breakfast in case she sits with us, you always-”
“Are you a detective or something?” Nott says narrowing his eyes.
“Listen, I just think that, if you have something to say
you should say it before it’s too late. I should go, I’m meeting Olivia but
think about it,” he says as he gets up leaving to meet his soulmate, a glint in his eyes.
“Wait,” Nott stops Berkshire, “Don’t tell anyone.”
“I promise.”
As he sits there waiting for you to finish with Cedric, the words Berkshire said can’t leave his mind. Cedric’s soulmate walks up to the table with a smile greeting Y/N, his arrival makes Cedric get up and says goodbye to you.
Nott takes this opportunity to walk up to your table and simply sit down across from you, taking Cedric’s former seat. You simply stare at him, not knowing what to say. His eyes are so brown, his hair looks so soft, and his sweater looks so warm you just want to reach over and feel every part of him.
You’re both staring at each other in silence, both afraid to make the first move, your heart is beating so fast and you can’t think of a single thing to say to him.
He takes a deep breath, looks in your eyes and says, “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now but I can’t stop thinking about you and colors are brighter when you’re in the room, I need to see your smile and hear your laugh everyday or else I- I can’t think about anything else and you seem so okay but I-”
To say you’re in shock is an understatement, you’re afraid to open your mouth unsure of what will come out. You reach over the table and hold his hand in an attempt to calm him down, “I’m not okay,” you say looking down at your hands as he starts drawing circles, “I think about you all the time, it’s exhausting.”
“I never thought finding my soulmate would feel like this, I never thought choosing my own path would be the wrong option.” You give him your biggest smile and he stares at you with a glint in his eyes you’ve never seen before. “So, how should we go on about this? Do we tell everyone now?”
You let out a nervous chuckle, “How about we start to get to know each other first?”
“I already know everything about you. You love blueberry muffins, cats, you don’t have a favorite flower because they’re too hard to choose from, you don’t drink your drink until after you finish eating, you hate people who chew with their mouth open, you-”
“Okay! Wow, you really do know me. Have you been purposefully following me?” You say in a teasing tone, your heart warming at the fact that your soulmate knows you, the real you.
You see his cheeks heat up and his head lower, “What? No! Uh-no, I-”
“Nott,” you say pulling your hands back from his, giving him a small smile, “I’m just joking around.”
He grabs your hands back pulling them into his, the warmth of his hands helping with the cold of the library. “It’s Theo.”
Your cheeks warm up, “It’s Y/N.”
-
It’s been a week since the conversation in the library and having a soulmate was better than you have ever heard. Theo and you haven’t gone further than holding hands in secret and sharing pecks on the cheeks and the corner of each other’s mouth. It has been excruciating holding back from kissing him, but you want him to make the first move.
For the past week, you woke up early in the morning to meet with Theo before breakfast. You told your friends you went to the library to get some extra study hours in. For some reason, they never questioned you and you never questioned that.
They don’t know you meet Theo in either The Room of Requirement or an empty classroom and just talk about anything and everything. Before it was blueberry muffins and now this is the best way to start your days.
This morning you’re laying on the couch in the Room of Requirement with him on top of you as you play with his hair in silence. “Can I admit something to you?”
“Of course you can,” you say furrowing your brows.
He looks up, grinning like a devil, causing you to stop playing with his hair. “I tripped you. When we met, I saw you walking, I saw you in your mind and for some reason I just wanted to
touch you. Which I knew I needed to do because I’ve never felt that way. I’ve never wanted to feel someone’s skin against mine. I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.” His voice getting deeper as he talks and your heart beating faster as the air grows thick with something you’re unfamiliar with.
You can’t look away and your skin is burning. Was it always so hot in here? You don’t know what to say. His eyes are so brown, the brown you love. You only have one thing to say, “Kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate, holding himself up with his right hand so you’re laying underneath him. He grabs your jaw with his left hand and immediately places his lips on yours. The kiss starts off gently, with you running your fingers through his hair, as you pull on it he immediately begins deepening the kiss, his left hand now cupping the back of your head pulling on your hair.
-
Typically when walking towards the Great Hall with Theo, you both arrive before anyone and walk to your separate tables, waiting for your friends without suspicion. However this time, with everything that happened, you two were a little late.
You both arrive at the Great Hall and see your friends sitting together, giving you both looks as if they’ve been expecting you. Now your mind is racing with probabilities. Is your shirt ruffled? Is your hair out of place? Are Theo’s buttons unbuttoned? Is Theo’s hair ruffled?
Theo and you sit down seats away from each other as casual as you can as if that would be less suspicious. You serve yourself breakfast, ignoring the silence and obvious topic you’re trying to avoid.
Riddle scoffs, “Okay, I’m tired of this, when are you two going to tell us?” He says looking only at Theo.
“What are you talking about?” Theo says, furrowing his brows feigning confusion.
Ariana speaks up, “Y/N, we really thought you would tell us if anything happened.”
“I understand why you wouldn’t but finding your soulmate is something massive that you needed time to process-”
You cut Sophia off, “Soulmate? So you all know then.”
“We know.” They all say in unison.
“Wait, how? Besides Berkshire who promised not to tell
” Theo said.
“Wait Berkshire figured it out?” You ask.
Berkshire nods his head as he says, “Oh c’mon it was so obvious. He was stalking her, obsessed with blueberry muffins, his mood would change when she was around, he switched seats to be near her, guys around her would suddenly not be-”
Theo narrows his eyes, “Okay, you could’ve stopped a long time ago. We get it.”
You look at your friends, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys, it was all just complicated.”
They all look at each other and Violet smiles, “We get it Y/N, we all noticed you’ve been happier too.”
Ariana adds in a teasing tone, “Plus you two weren’t that secretive walking back to the dorms before curfew. I must say though, you actually looked cute, his arm around your shoulder.”
Your cheeks warm up, the fact that they know and it’s now official, setting in.
You turn to Theo, finding him already staring at you. You immediately give him a smile and look into his eyes, his eyes are so brown, the brown you love. He smiles back and-
“Yuck! You two are disgusting, I’m trying to eat my breakfast here,” Malfoy says.
“Alright Theo, let go,” you say getting up from the table ready to get away, “we’ll see you guys later.”
“Theo?” All the boys say in unison.
Theo intertwines your fingers together, glad he doesn’t have to hide you two anymore. “Just keep walking,” he says. However as he leads you out of the Great Hall you don’t miss the teasing “Aw’s” coming from your friends.
He leads you out of the Great Hall, into an empty classroom. He closes the door after you enter and presses you up against the door. He holds your face in his hand, “Please tell me they didn’t scare you off.”
You tilt your head back while laughing, “Of course not.” You peck his lips and pull back too fast for his liking.
“Good because, for whatever it’s worth
I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” He says looking down at you with a shy smile.
You wrap your arms around his neck, shaking your head, “I love you,” pulling him down so your lips could meet.
You pull back and stare into his eyes, his brown eyes, the brown you love so much.
—
send any requests you would like thank you
I totally edited this after I posted
I know theo doesn’t have brown eyes btw it’s more of a reader(me) thing thanks
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mischievousmoony · 6 months ago
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𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑
 𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛 (𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚱 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝)
⟱ poly!marauders x fem!reader (initial wolfstar & lily x reader)
⟱ summary: james is the sun, the center of the universe, of course when you realize how brightly he shines you can't help but fight over him. it comes unexpectedly, the way it brings you all together . ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ3.6k
⟱ warnings/tags: suggestive content/mature themes, hogwarts is a university these characters are in their 20s, poly!marauders, confident!reader, not proofread
⟱ masterlist
note: the dialogue is cringe i fear... this is another one i wrote for fun in the notes app before i started being active on here again
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At first, James thought it was jealousy. When he saw you kiss Lily goodbye at the portrait hole, he felt it for the first time. He couldn’t really tell who he felt it for, though. But then he felt it again, this time when he found Remus and Sirius cuddling in their shared dorm, and he’d chalked it up to being jealous that his friends were in happy relationships whilst he was alone. 
He tried flirting with other people, thinking a relationship of his own would cure these feelings. In his endeavors, James found that flirting was something he’s actually quite good at. But when he was on the receiving end of flirtatious remarks, he noticed his stomach never flipped the way it did for his friends, and all they had to do was say ‘hello’ to make it happen. He even tried to go on a date, but he found himself itching to be back at Gryffindor Tower where you lot were hanging out. 
So, James decided to face the facts. He has a crush
 or four, he supposes. But it’s not like romance between him and his friends is unheard of. Other students around Hogwarts used to poke fun at you all for the inter friend group dating, accusing you of things like passing each other around for the fun of it. 
Someone once told Sirius he couldn’t escape the incestuous nature of his family, and that’s when the boys started hexing anyone who made any sort of joke on the topic. Soon enough, people learned to keep their mouths shut. 
But it wasn’t what other students made it seem. You all may have been perceived as a lascivious bunch who couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, but there were deep emotions between some of you that surpassed mere physical attraction. 
James probably had one of the most tame histories, save for Peter, who managed to find a girlfriend outside of the group. In James’ past, there was casual fling with Lily, which both parties wanted to be more, yet neither ever had the courage to say it. The relationship ended when they both inwardly thought they’d be better off letting go than silently yearning for more. Aside from that, James had managed to kiss each of you some way or another, whether it be via drinking games or experimental fun.
As for the rest of you, let’s just say you all did a bit more than kiss some of the other members in your group before you all coupled off. 
You, for example, have dabbled in romance with both Sirius and Remus at different points in time. There was a frenzied night with Remus that had you both longing for more, yet never acting on it. And there was a time where everyone thought you and Sirius would end up together. The tension between you two was once so palpable it pervaded your every interaction and shrouded your awareness of anything but each other. It fizzled after a while of neither of you ever making a real move, but sometimes you both feel it creep back into your conversations like an addiction you couldn’t shake. 
Lily and Remus also had a history. They were together for a while, a saccharine relationship that made those around them equally jealous as they were nauseous. Eventually, they broke it off because they couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. They theorized that they must be better off as friends, but what could’ve been still seems to loom over them. 
And James doesn’t know this, if he found out now he might disintegrate on the spot, but everyone’s fancied him at some point. But there’s something about Potters and their tendency to be oblivious. Everyone’s tried to get out of James’ friend zone and it went quite unnoticed. Lily was the only one who’s ever succeeded, and yet, they let each other become their ones that got away. 
It might be a good thing that James never knew about his friends’ crushes. He probably would’ve turned most of you down, depending on the timing. And that would’ve haunted him now. He already has to deal with the pining and the nerves and the misery of it all. Regret added to that mix would send him over the edge. 
After all, the minute you all walk into the common room his heart is already racing with nerves. 
First came Remus and Sirius, Remus having his arm slung across Sirius’ shoulders. Sirius’ walk is an odd looking shuffle due to the way he presses himself into his boyfriend’s side. 
There’s the pining. James wishes he could be sandwiched between them. He imagines shuffling along, like Sirius, and watching the pace of their footsteps sync up. 
Next, James sees Lily. Beaming, as always. She has a firm grip on your hand as she tows you in after her. You two are giggling about something and James swears he’s never heard anything more beautiful than the way your laughters intertwine. He’d give anything to be included in whatever you two were so charmed by. 
“Hey, Prongs,” Remus greets as they sit on the sofa next to him. Remus’ knees knock against James’. James doesn’t want to think about how much it affects him. 
“Hi Jamie,” you say in a sing song voice, passing in front of him as Lily leads you to sit on the armchair with her. The two of you might as well be on top of each other when you get situated, your legs twisted together.
James shifts in his seat, “Hi,” he rasps, then clears his throat, “Hi guys.” 
“What are you up to?” Lily bats her beautiful, long eyelashes at James.
James picks up a book Peter left on the end table next to him, “Studying,” he lies. What he was really doing was thinking about all of you. He couldn’t exactly disclose that, now could he? 
Lily’s eyes dart down to the cover of the book, “Advanced History of Magic?”
“I thought you dropped that after OWLs?” You wonder aloud. 
James presses his lips into a line while he tries to think of what to say, “Yeah, I, er- I’m not studying for class. I’m studying for pleasure. History is a very important subject.” James internally groans. He curses Peter in his mind for not leaving a better book behind. 
The couples around him seem to share skeptical glances that make James want to walk into the Black Lake, lie down, and drown there. 
James' next words tumble out like a torrent, “It’s actually Peter’s. He was telling me something interesting from his class. Wanted to read up on it myself. Anyway, I should go return this to him. Cheers, guys.”
Before anyone can say anything, James is already speeding off with the book. 
Oh, the misery. James hates how awkward things have become. He’s not usually an awkward person, but being around all four people he’s crushing on is overwhelming, even for him. 
Somewhere in Hogwarts’ halls, James leans against one of the cold stone walls and hugs Peter’s book to his chest. 
What is wrong with me, he thinks. And then he gets a tad arrogant, I’m James Potter! I can handle anything. Even having a thing for my best friends. 
James decides right then and there that he doesn’t want to feel like such a mess anymore. It’s time for a different approach. 
The next time he sees one of you, he thinks to himself, you know how to be confident, James, you’ve done it before. And so he puts on his best act. 
But for some reason, acting confident translated into constantly flirting with all of his friends. He really had no intention of doing that, it’s not like he actually wanted to get with any of you. He’d never want to try to interfere in your relationships. But for some reason, as his words tumbled out with amorous undertones and romantic implications, the negative emotions tumbled away too. So he kind of just kept doing it. 
From then on, your interactions with James have gone much more smoothly. Admittedly, they were also much more intoxicating. 
One day after Quidditch practice, James finds you and Lily wrapped up in each other’s arms on the sofa. Your arms are around Lily’s waist as you both watch the crackle of the fireplace before you. The sofa’s back cushions lay strewn across the floor to accommodate the space the two of you take up. 
With a grin fitting his face, James approaches the sofa. 
“Hey,” he calls on his approach. The two of you shift onto your backs to look in the direction of James’ voice behind you. When he arrives, he leans his forearms on the back of the sofa, one folded over the other, and hovers above you two, “Lily, Y/N.” He greets. 
“Hi James,” Lily says on behalf of you both. 
James eyes leisurely drift along the length of the couch and back up again, “Don’t you two look cozy.”
“Sure are,” Lily grins lazily, “If there were any more room on here we’d invite you to join,” your girlfriend jokes. 
“That’s alright, doll,” James says with a lopsided smile. He then leans in closer to you, and you notice the sparkling reflection of the firelight in his eyes. He lowers his voice to a whisper as if he’s telling you a secret, “Next time.” His voice comes out like silk and his eye contact is unwavering. You find it too intoxicating to even blink.
Your lips part slightly, and you can hear Lily’s breath get caught in her throat. It was just two words, it really shouldn’t have affected you two so much. Maybe it’s the way he said them
 or maybe it’s just James. James, whose tousled hair is sticking to his forehead still from a strenuous practice and whose lips are only centimeters away. 
A moment of silence passes between you three before James straightens out his spine, standing with his hands resting where his forearms previously were. 
His fingers pitter patter against the sofa back, “I’m off to shower
” James says, “Save me a seat at dinner?”
Without waiting for a reply, James walks towards the boys dormitories. You both watch James disappear up the stairs. When you look at Lily, you find her face flushed. You wiggle your eyebrows and she slaps you on the arm, knowing exactly what you’re thinking. Her hand lingers, then trails down to fit into yours. She discovers a sweaty palm, and now she’s the one raising her eyebrows. 
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A few days later, Remus and Sirius find themselves in a similar situation. 
The three Marauders found themselves running for their lives from Filch after attempting to pull a prank without their fourth, who had to bail last minute. They had to rethink the plan on the spot without the extra set of hands, and found themselves nearly getting caught. 
Luckily, Remus knew this area of the castle intimately from his prefects rounds, and found them a room to hide in. 
The boys tumble inside. Sirius and James find themselves with their backs to the nearest wall, both heaving to catch their breaths. Remus locks the door behind them, and releases a shocked laugh as he backs into the room. 
“Quick thinking, Rem. I wonder what other tricks you have up your sleeve.” James says, his tone suggestive. 
“Oi!” Sirius exclaims while Remus flushes. Sirius looks a bit amused, but still feels a bit territorial too. 
James swivels to face Sirius, his body not coming out of contact with the wall. He leans his forearm on the stones above Sirius’ head. Being a bit shorter, Sirius has to look up at James as he leans in ever so slightly, “Don’t worry, Sirius. I find your secrets just as intriguing.” 
Territorial feelings cured. Sirius tries to place the feelings that replaced them and
 oh. His head snaps towards his boyfriend, who looks downright besotted with the display in front of him. 
James maintains eye contact and a confident smirk as lets his arm slide down the wall until his palm is flat against it, level with Sirius’ head. He gives the wall a gently pat, then abruptly turns away. 
He takes a single step towards Remus, “I have a sneaking suspicion Filch is still lurking in the area. I’ve got the cloak, so I’m off to be your knight in shining armor and cause a distraction.” James winks, and then he’s out the door. 
The pair of boys that were left behind watch the door thoughtfully for a few moments. 
Sirius’ tongue darts out to moisten his lips as he prepares himself to make a bold suggestion. 
“Hey Moony?” he asks. 
“Yeah?” Remus responds breathlessly. 
“Hear me out about something
” Sirius trails off, still looking in the direction James left in. 
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A week later, you and Lily enter the common room in search of your messy-haired friend. He spots you two before either of you find him. 
“If it isn’t my favorite girls,” James waves you both over to where he is seated, which is a small table by the window. Remus and Sirius, who look a bit peeved to have James’ attention drawn away from them, are sitting across from him. 
“What brings you here?” James asks when you arrive at his side, “It’s date night, if I’m not mistaken, isn’t it?” 
You share a look with Lily, “Yes, actually, we’re just about to head off to Hogsmeade.” 
Lily rests a hand on James’ shoulder, “But we were thinking
 we’d love it if you’d join us.” 
While the confusion on James’ face starts to soften into understanding, Sirius chokes on his own spit. His voice is strained as he holds back from coughing, “James is busy.”
Your eyes dart to Sirius, “Is he?” then back to James. “Couldn’t you make some time?” You bat your eyes at him. 
Sirius looks horrified, “We have some— Marauders only!— business to attend to. James was just about to accept our invitation, isn’t that right, Prongs?”
“Uhh, I-” James sputters, wildly taken aback by what’s happening. What is happening? 
“Well why don’t you two just invite Peter,” you suggest callously as Lily’s grip on James’ shoulder turns possessive. 
“This isn’t the kind of business we want to invite Peter to. We want James.” Sirius’ eyes narrow. 
You furrow your brows at Sirius’ words and it takes a moment for the meaning of them to sink in. Your features harden as Sirius and Remus suddenly go from friends to competitors. 
“Well I guess you’re out of luck, then.” You say, squinting down at Sirius, “I think James is going to want to come with us.”
Sirius didn’t much like the way you looked down on him, so he brought himself up to his feet where he could tower over you. 
“It’s cute that you think so, but we’re closer to James than anyone. James is our best friend.”
“And I think it’ll be staying that way.” 
“I beg to differ.” Sirius counters, his tone laced with arrogance. 
James’ jaw goes slack at the implication.
“If you're going to beg I prefer that you get on your knees first.” Your voice is dripping with mockery, challenge, and something else that takes everyone a moment to decipher. 
It’s something familiar, a certain tension that’s proving once again to have never fully gone away. It flashes in Sirius’ eyes too, his fiery gaze wavering to give way for a fervent expression. 
The sudden shift in tone sent an electric shock through the three onlookers, James’ jaw dropping impossibly lower.
“Trust me, doll. Where I’m involved, I’m not the one who’s gonna be begging on their knees.” 
Remus somehow looks like he’s enjoying this, which should be unusual for a guy watching his boyfriend flirt with someone else. He’s leaned back in his seat, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips, as his eyes dart between each of his friends. 
“What’s happening,” James chokes out, the nerves he expelled weeks ago suddenly bubbling back up again. 
No one answers James. Remus is having too much fun and you are too busy staring down Sirius. Lily joins you, inching closer to both you and him as she leans over your shoulder, her body pressing into your back. 
“Oh, he’s lying, don’t you think?” She says, her voice velvety smooth. 
“Certainly so. I have it on good authority that he’s the type to want to be in charge,” you jut your chin toward Remus, whose gaze you meet while memories of each other swirl around in your minds, bringing matching twinkles to your eyes. 
“Can-? Can I interject?” James takes a shot at cutting through the tension, his voice cracking.  
“Of course, Jamie,” you turn your head from Sirius to look at him but a soft hand pinching your chin gently turns you right back. 
“Eyes on me, dollface, I’m not done with you,” Sirius says firmly, as if proving how commanding he can be. 
A choked noise emits from James’ throat and it’s not clear if it’s in protest of being cast aside again or a direct reaction to the way Sirius is handling you. 
Remus inches his hand towards James’, bumping his pinky into his. “Sit tight, I want to see where this goes,” he tells him. 
“See? So effortlessly commanding,” you vocalize to Lily, a hungry look in your eyes as they flick to Remus. 
Sirius’ possessive nature flares up. “This has been real cute, but you can you can back off of them now,” Sirius say, referring to both his boyfriend and James. 
Your eyes dart back to Sirius and that hungry sort of look doesn’t falter, “Want me to focus on you, do you? Ddon’t worry, baby, I can multitask.”
“Let's cut to the chase, are you two about to fight or kiss?” James defies Remus’ command to sit tight, suddenly speaking boldly, regaining his confidence from either sheer will or impatience, “Either is fine, I suppose, as long as you continue to let me watch.”
“I second that,” Remus agrees at once. 
“Third,” Lily chimes in, “though I’d prefer to see the ladder.” 
As James words sink in, it brings you back down to reality, that familiar veil of tension that shrouds your better judgment lifting. 
Worry filters in first, your actions suddenly feeling inappropriate. That they were, but you’re less worried about the nature of your actions and more so the fact that you behaved in such away with someone else right in front of your girlfriend. When you look at her, you’re met with a sly countenance that reminds you she was an active participant. 
You’re not the only one having inner turmoil after the racy display, a silence that’s tense for different reasons washing over you all. Everyone seems to be contemplating the implications of what just happened and how you all so fondly reacted to it. 
Lily is the one to cut through the silence first. 
“You know
 I wouldn’t mind if all three of you joined us,” Lily tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as she asks “Do you, Lovie?”
“No, I wouldn’t mind at all,” your words coming out like a plea when you respond. 
Remus carefully stands from his seat, approaching Sirius with revere and settling his arm across his shoulder. His free hand extends to you, which you take without hesitation. His tender touch sends shivers up your spine. 
Your four sets of eyes drift to James, who’s still in his seat trying to process what’s going on. When it sinks that this is real life, he looks back at you all like you’re a newfound treasure. 
It’s instant, the way the feelings that never went away metamorphosize into something beautiful and new. And it’s an adjustment, for sure, but you all lean into it with surprising ease. 
The rumors fly, of course, when your peers start to take notice of the way things have changed. No amount of previous hexing scares them away from jumping to their conclusions and spreading their rumors. This time around, you’re all too enamored with each other to care much about what people say, but you do find it pitiful that they could never understand. But some witnesses to the loving little touches and soft remarks between each of you and all of you find that it makes sense now—all of you were destined from the start. 
For you have always been drawn to each other. It’s why you constantly gravitated from one to the next, the pull from those you left behind never really going away. 
It feels like a dream the way you all settle back into place with each other. James looks at you all in disbelief everyday. He couldn't have imagined a more perfect solution to his previously helpless pining.
You're quite pleased as well, the longing for what you never had with each of your boys finally resolved.
And Lily and Remus share a look some days, eyes twinkling, finding comfort in knowing now what their missing piece was. Or rather, pieces. 
“Well, I think I can pinpoint now why all of our relationships kept not working out,” Lily tells him once, in the very beginning. You’re all strolling around outdoors, basking in the sun, still shyly navigating through the newness of it all. 
The knuckles of your left hand fondly brush against those on James’ right. Lily walks alongside you, Remus on the end next to her. And Sirius has fallen behind purposefully, admiring the way the four of you look together. 
“Why’s that, Dove?” Remus asks. 
“Greed,” Sirius interjects, an impish grin dances on his lips as he jogs up to join you all again. He squeezes between you and Lily, slinging his arms around you both.
Sirius nuzzles his nose into the side of your face, “But who’s to say we can’t have it all?” 
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thebibliosphere · 6 months ago
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Am I reading this right? You have been beating yourself up for not 'working more' and not 'doing enough', but, the mere act of being AT YOUR DESK is extremely painful? Sitting at your work station, just SITTING THERE, caused you PHYSICAL PAIN, but you were still under the impression that you should be able to just 'power through that' to do, what? How much more are you expecting out of yourself? A book a month? Its not like you've STOPPED WORKING. What time table were you holding yourself to???
Here's the thing, my body has always hurt.
Even when I was a child, I was in a lot of pain that was dismissed as either "growing pains" despite the fact that I never got past 5 feet tall at the age of 11 or "attention seeking." So, I learned to stop talking about it. (The trick is now getting me to shut up about it.)
And for most of my teens and twenties, the pain didn't really stop me too much. It was bad, and it sucked, but for the longest time, everyone kept telling me that "everyone" felt that way, so I just sort of learned to power through and hide it under the assumption that "everyone" feels this way.
Well, turns out that was a mistake because my body hit its breaking point, and what might have been a mild genetic disability that could have flown under the radar is now a severe one that greatly impacts my daily life to the point where sitting at my desk causes me pain (because everything causes me pain).
Couple that with some new-age religious trauma about willpower, positive thinking, and whatever the fuck else my parents thought I was capable of as an 'indigo starseed' and the fact that I was trained to mask my ADHD by being a hyper-competent workaholic-- I really don't know what a healthy baseline is.
(I mean, heck, I wrote the first book of Hunger Pangs while literally dying. I assumed it would be edited and published posthumously. Jokes on me because now I've got to edit the rest of the fucking thing.)
I didn't, obviously, and ever since then, I've been trying to learn what a healthy baseline looks like for me post-recovery, and I think I'm doing quite well at it and enforcing my boundaries when people ask too much of me.
But none of that makes up for the shrieking frustration I feel that I can't do the things I want.
I want to be creative and do fun things, but I can't because my body won't let me. I want to write more, but I can't because I'm swimming in brain fog most of the time. Yes it hurts to sit at my desk, but I also need to earn money so the financial burden of everything isn't solely on my partner. (Something which he argues I shouldn't even be worrying about right now, but it's hard not to worry as I watch him work himself to the bone taking care of everything because I can't.)
I promise you, I'm not hustling my ass into an early grave. There is, in fact, zero hustle about how I work. I am very, very slow these days compared to how I used to be. There's no timetable for one thing. I get done what I get done, and that's it.
I'm just perpetually frustrated that my hyperactive brain is trapped in a malfunctioning meat suit. And my blog is where I talk about it and work through my emotions because, well, that's what I've always done long before Tumblr was even a thing. It just so happens now I've got an audience.
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swiftlyinlove · 1 year ago
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Santa Doesn't Know You Like I Do
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pairing: Spencer Reid x f!reader
summary: You and Spencer are best friends, but there's always been a little spark between you. When he cancels your plans for Christmas, you're determined to prove that you know him better than anyone else.
warnings: idiots in love, christmas fluff, a little angst if you squint??
word count: approximately 4.5k
a/n: Hi! It's been a long time since I wrote much of anything, but writing this for Christmas has been an absolute joy. I love Spencer so much, and this poor boy just suffers... I wanted to give him a happy ending for Christmas - or a happy beginning. I hope you like it.
The first thing you realized after the beep signaled the end of the phone call was how weird Spencer was acting lately.
To be fair, you two had an unconventional friendship. Due to the nature of his job, Spencer was often busy and therefore you couldn’t communicate as much as you'd like to, but you'd set up a base rule to make sure you never lost touch with one another: mandatory Friday night video call.
Every Friday, without fail, you would Facetime. Spencer wasn’t fond of technology, you were aware, but he’d gladly face his prejudice and lack of knowledge of anything digital if it meant talking to you. It didn't matter if he was home or if he was in another state for a case; come nine pm on a Friday, you two would be catching up about your lives.
That, of course, meant that you'd grasp at every opportunity you could to be with each other. He was in town for a case? You would meet up and have dinner if he had time; if he was doing something important and couldn’t finish it in time for dinner, he would drop by your place at the craziest hour in the morning and lie down next to you, gently shaking you awake to reveal he had gotten take out from your favorite restaurant.
Despite being awakened from your slumber, you would greet him with the brightest smile he’s ever seen - well, after letting out a little shriek of surprise, to which Spencer would respond with an “It’s me, little menace” and a chuckle that would make your heart flutter every time. 
The nickname had originated from your childhood. Spencer didn’t have many friends in middle school, and the fact that he was much smarter than kids his age didn’t help. His classmates either made fun of him or avoided him altogether, but you were
 different. 
When you first moved into town, you were very nervous for your first day of school. Making friends was never easy for you, as your peers would deem you rather weird for always having your nose stuck in books. However, you quickly realized you had nothing to worry about - it took one look at little Spencer Reid, reading Crime and Punishment at the lunch table, for you to know you had found your place.
You sat next to him, ignoring the snickers from the so-called “popular kids”. He hesitantly lifted his gaze from the wrinkled pages - you reckoned he had probably read that book many times before -, expecting to see someone with a mean scowl ready to taunt him.
Instead, his wide eyes were met with your bright smile, your rosy cheeks, and your adorable ponytails, and he frowned in confusion. “Hello
?”
“Hi. I’m Y/N.” You greeted him excitedly. There was something about him that made you feel confident, so you continued. “I’m new here and I noticed you were sitting alone. And that seems like a really cool book if you don’t mind me saying, and I just thought you-”
You cut yourself off, realizing you were rambling. You could feel your cheeks warming up, and you were sure you looked as flustered as you were feeling. Before you could even dwell on how embarrassed you felt, Spencer’s lips broke into a smile. 
And that was it. From that moment on, you had been inseparable. Well, perhaps not physically; after all, he was academically way ahead of you and everyone else, and he even managed to graduate from high school at only twelve years old. 
That didn’t stop you from hanging out every moment you could, nor from exchanging letters every single day when he went to college. To this day, you still had those letters, safely tucked into a charming wooden box you kept on your bookshelf, but you’d never tell him that (although you were sure he knew, as the great profiler he was).
So, despite being separated due to your busy jobs - his more than yours - and living in different states, it wasn’t a surprise when you started arranging to spend the holidays together.
Since his mother was still institutionalized, Spencer didn't really have anyone to celebrate the holidays with and therefore didn't care much for the traditions. You, on the other hand, loved the holidays, but since your parents had passed away when you were in college, you were also alone during the season.
Thus, you cut a deal. Every year, he would use his extra vacation days to take a week off around Christmas and you would take turns visiting each other. Usually, you were both very excited about this occasion – it was one of the rare opportunities you had to be together in person, and you missed each other terribly.
This year, though... You had just called Spencer to confirm the date so you could book your flight to Quantico, and he had simply managed to say he couldn’t take time off before hanging up on you.
You were confused by this but chalked it up to it being one of those days for him. Working at the BAU, Spencer had to deal with a lot of gruesome cases often and, after a really bad one, he didn't find any energy to do much of anything.
While he'd never avoided you per se, when those days coincided with your phone calls, you would try to comfort him the best you could, and sometimes even managed to cheer him up a little. 
This time, you didn't even have the chance to, and that threw you off. Still, if Spencer was in a bad mood, maybe he just didn't feel like talking. Not even to you.
Deciding to not push it any further, it's only a few days later that you brought up your trip to Quantico, this time via text. You spent the entire day nearly jumping at your phone each time it vibrated, expecting a notification with his name on it.
It was only later that night that you'd get your answer in the form of an ‘I can't this year’. You read the text over and over again, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. Perhaps it had been wishful thinking, but you had hoped that, once he was in a better mood, he would be just as eager as you for your shared holiday season. 
It occurred to you that perhaps something happened, perhaps he couldn't file for a vacation because he had a big case that he couldn't step away from.
But if that were the case, he would've told you so. He would've explained, apologized even, and tried to schedule another date for your trip to make it up to you. So, you concluded, he just didn't want to see you.
That thought haunted you for the entire week.
Finally having enough of feeling blue and not getting any work done, you decided to go straight to the source in search of answers. Well, source adjacent - Spencer was still replying rather coldly to your texts, so you couldn’t ask him directly. Penelope Garcia was the next best thing.
You had met the members of the BAU after a particularly successful case in your city. Their flight would only leave in the morning and Spencer thought he could take the opportunity to take you to the cinema for a late-night movie, just like the good old days of your adolescence.
However, Penelope and Rossi had other plans. To properly celebrate their hard work that led to saving multiple women who had been kidnapped a few weeks prior, they decided to take the team out for dinner in a nice restaurant.
“And it’s mandatory. It’s not like we have anything else to do tonight, so no excuses.” She had warned in a playfully threatening tone. 
Spencer shifted in his spot while putting away his things in his satchel. After all the years he worked at the BAU, he still hadn’t told his coworkers - his found family, really - about you. It was the one thing he kept close to his chest, the one secret he wanted to keep forever.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he brushed his hair behind his ears, not daring to turn and face the team while he spoke. “I sort of already have plans.”
His voice was so quiet that the team wasn’t sure they had heard him correctly. After a moment of silence, Derek’s lips curled into his (in)famous smirk and he gently nudged Spencer’s side, making the lanky boy turn around to face his friends.
Spencer’s cheeks were flushed and he kept his eyes trained on the ground, not wanting to face the curious expressions on their faces. But when Derek nudged him again, asking him “Who’s the girl?” with such a teasing tone, he couldn’t help but look up.
“She’s just a friend.” He blurted out, eyes immediately widening upon the realization of what he admitted.
While the rest of the team just shrugged it off and dived into their conversations, Derek patted him on the back - the force of which sent Spencer stumbling a few feet forward -, and Penelope lit up like he had just told her that he won the lottery.
“You have to bring her!” Penelope begged, grabbing his arm as they walked towards the door of the local precinct they had been working on for the case. “I want to meet this mystery woman.”
Penelope didn’t say it to him then, but she was sure you weren’t ‘just a friend’. She might’ve not been a profiler, but the look in his eyes when he spoke about you and his hesitation to cancel your plans for the sake of the team made her think that perhaps you were much more special to him than he realized.
Her suspicions were, of course, confirmed when he showed up at the restaurant a few hours later with you in his arms, wearing an elegant black dress and a radiant smile on your face as you whispered something to him, immediately breaking into a fit of giggles.
Spencer tried to feign indignation at your comment, but he couldn’t help but smile as he led you to his friends, who were all watching the interaction with surprise and disbelief. Your laughter calmed when you reached the table, but the smile never fell from your face as Spencer introduced you, looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. That’s when Penelope knew.
You clicked rather well with his friends. They were, naturally, very curious about you, and you did your best to answer all their questions. Meanwhile, Spencer, who was sitting next to you, placed a hand on your lower back, making sure you didn’t feel overwhelmed under the attentive eyes of his friends.
Penelope and you were a match made in heaven, Spencer reckoned. You quipped back and forth the entire night, even swapping numbers by the end of it, and Spencer even joked that you had found a new favorite FBI agent as you made your way to his car.
Chuckling at his statement, you stopped in your tracks, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning up to place a tender kiss on his cheek. “You’ll always be my favorite. But she’s a close second.”
Spencer was sure his heart had stopped right then and there and that he had gone to heaven.
Since that night, you frequently called Penelope to talk about numerous things - from the latest TV shows you were both hooked on to recipes for dessert -, but you rarely talked about Spencer. Until today.
“Penny, I need your help.” You blurted out as soon as the blonde answered your call. 
“Woah, woah, calm down my friend,” Penelope answered, amused and slightly worried about the urgency in your tone. “What’s on your pretty little mind?”
All it took for Penelope to know something was wrong was two words. “It’s Spencer.”
“What about boy wonder?” The technical analyst questioned, trying to make sense of what you were saying.
“He’s been acting so cold lately.” You explained, sighing in exhaustion as you plopped down on your couch. “Well, you know how we always arrange to spend the holidays together?”
Penelope hummed in agreement - every year when Spencer would put in a request to take time off during the holidays, she would make sure it was at the top of Strauss’ paperwork, knowing he was doing it for you.
At her approval, you continued. “This year I was supposed to come to Quantico, but every time I try to bring it up, he shuts me down and just says that he can’t. I don’t understand why he’s acting like this and it's been driving me nuts all week.”
The blonde’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked at your image on the phone. 
“Are we sure we’re talking about the same person? Because he seemed pretty excited last week. He wouldn’t shut up about how he found the perfect gift for you and how he couldn’t wait to see your face when you opened it.”
This confused you even more, and you frowned as you processed her words. “Yeah, well, this week he can barely text me back. I don’t want anything crazy, Penny, I just want to be with him for Christmas.”
“I don’t know what happened. As far as I can tell, he did put in the request for a vacation.” Penelope replied. Then, her face lit up in realization and she cursed under her breath. “Morgan.”
“Morgan? What does Derek have to do with this?” You asked, more disoriented than ever.
“Wait here,” Penelope said, quickly getting up from her chair and leaving you to stare at her empty office. She returns a few minutes later, looking pretty annoyed, to see you making a cup of coffee in your kitchen.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, sweet cheeks.” The blonde said apologetically, making your gaze return to your phone, forgotten on the counter as you waited for her.
You quickly picked it up, registering her distressed expression. “What happened?”
“I found out why Reid’s acting like an ass to you.” She replied, her voice softening as she saw the glimmer of worry in your eyes. “It seems like Morgan has done quite a number on him.”
“What do you mean Morgan has done a number on him? What did he do?” You questioned, growing irritated by Penelope’s ability to beat around the bush. You loved her, you really did, but you just wanted to know what happened.
“I’m not sure I should be telling you this, but since you’re so upset
” Penelope trailed off, pursing her lips. “Morgan better pay me back.”
“Penelope, just spit it out.” You interrupted, your impatience reflected in your tone.
“Fine. I told you Reid wouldn’t shut up about you, and Morgan may or may not have teased him about his feelings for you and it may or may not have caused Spencer to clam up in his shell.” Penelope rushed through her words and you blinked, unsure you had heard her correctly.
You could feel your heart beating in your ears as you asked her, “Spencer
 Has feelings for me?”
Penelope looked reluctant to answer your questions, clearly not wanting to violate Spencer’s privacy. Ever since she met you, she knew you and the resident FBI genius were destined for each other, but she wanted you to discover on your terms.
“Penny, please.” You sounded out of breath, and it cleared any sign of hesitation on Penelope’s mind. 
“Baby girl, I can’t be the one to tell you that. You have to ask him.” She responded, her voice full of empathy. “But between me and you, I’m pretty sure you know what the answer is.”
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Spencer was certain that he was in the 9th circle of hell. 
Ever since Morgan’s comment, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He always knew what you two had was special.  You knew how to make him laugh; Spencer didn’t consider himself to be difficult to entertain, but he could be quite oblivious to his coworkers' jokes sometimes, especially if they were about him. But you? Oh, you managed to make him laugh hysterically with a simple comment, and it endeared him. 
You had been with him through the good and the bad, after all. You were there at his graduation, celebrating his first Ph.D. - and the two that came after that, too - and you were right there by his side when he watched his mother be dragged away to a mental institution, holding his hand in an attempt to comfort him.
That was what he loved most about you. He could always count on you to be there for him. He recalled the first moment he realized you were much more than a friend to him.
It had been after the Tobias Hankel case. Spencer slipped in and out of consciousness as the doctors dragged him through the hospital, murmuring to themselves about testing the drugs in his system and checking his vitals.
His life wasn’t in danger anymore, but he was oh so tired. He had spent days upon days of captivity without a wink of sleep, locked in an empty cabin where he was tortured by two of Tobias’ personalities, and all he could think about between getting tormented and getting drugged was you.
He was sure he was going to die then, and his main concern was that he wouldn’t be able to see your pretty smile again. He would tell you this when you appeared at his bedside a few hours later, claiming that you received a call from the hospital - unsurprisingly, you were each other’s emergency contacts - and had threatened a stewardess to get a ticket to the next plane to Virginia, and you would call him ridiculous for it.
It was only when you were sitting next to him on his hospital bed, his head leaning against your chest as you combed your hands through his hair, that he allowed himself to cry, to reveal how truly scared he had been under Tobias’ hands.
You whispered sweet nothings in his ear as you softly lifted his head, making sure he was looking at you when you softly kissed his tears away. His arms had tightened around you, a silent sign of his gratitude, and he knew then, he knew, you were everything to him.
How could he have not fallen for you after all that? 
But he could never tell you. He had been rejected many times in his life, but if he was to get rejected by you? He was sure his heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
So he tried to bury his feelings deep inside him, keeping you a secret from the people who knew him best and, when the time came, introduced you to them. As a friend. Because that’s all that you were. Friends.
When Morgan teased him about his feelings for you, Spencer entered panic mode. If Morgan could see Spencer was madly in love with you, then you could see it too - you could always read him like a book, after all.
And if you hadn’t brought it up
 You didn’t want to. He knew you’d never want to hurt him, so the only logical conclusion he could reach was: you don’t feel the same.
He tried his best to avoid you. Cutting you off whenever you brought up your plans for the holidays, replying to your texts with short answers, and even refraining from watching Doctor Who in his free time, because it only reminded him of how you two used to lie on your couch during summer break and watch it together. 
What he didn’t count on was opening his door in mid-afternoon on Christmas Eve and seeing you standing in front of him, coat covered in the snow that was falling outside the comfort of his building and a small smile on your face.
“Merry Christmas, Spencer.” You said bashfully, not sure how he would react to your presence. 
“Merry Christmas.” He replied, his breath knocked out of his lungs at how beautiful you looked standing there. He might have fallen in love with you all over again. 
After a beat of silence, he wet his lips, looking at you with the same wide-eyed gaze he greeted you with when you were kids. “What... What are you doing here?”
Your lips curled into a sheepish smile. “What, you thought I was gonna miss Christmas?”
Seeing you in front of him, hearing your voice without the faint static of the phone for the first time in a while
 it was surreal to him. He couldn’t help but cave in and wrap his arms around you, pulling you closer into a tight hug.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders just as tightly, your body finally relaxing against his. You could feel his nose nuzzled into your neck, and you smiled against his shoulder.
“I missed you.” You whispered, letting your words linger between the two of you.
“I missed you too.” He whispered back, and you knew he was sincere. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”
“I know.” You breathed in his scent, pressing a soft kiss against his shoulder before pulling away. He reluctantly let you go, a remorseful smile on his lips.
Spencer guided you into his apartment, and you took note of how he put up your usual Christmas decorations. “You managed to set up the tree by yourself?” You teased him.
He chuckled, watching as you settled on his couch and patted the space next to you. He promptly followed your lead, sitting down beside you. “Yeah, it was a real challenge.”
Before you could even reply, Spencer reached out to grab your hand, his thumb softly caressing your knuckles to calm his racing mind.
“Look, I’m so sorry. I’ve been stuck in my head lately, and it’s not fair that I treated you like that. We’ve had this tradition forever and I feel like I disrespected it and-” Spencer rambled, and you pressed your lips against his to shut him up.
Your sudden action stunned him, and he couldn’t help but succumb to your spell. Placing his hands on both sides of your face and closing his eyes, he kissed you back as gently and tenderly as he could, feeling you melt against him.
Once you pulled away, his eyes fluttered open, looking at you with a lovestruck, surprised gaze. He seemed to be speechless, which made you giggle.
“I hope that was on your wishlist this Christmas.” You joked, leaning your forehead against his. 
Your gaze softened as you took in his expression. “Penny told me everything. In all seriousness, I understand why you did it.  I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell me.”
He gulped, feeling vulnerable under your loving stare. He always got the impression that you could see right through him.
“I know. It’s just
 I’ve been in love with you almost my entire life, and when I finally realized it, I was afraid that if I acted on them, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He murmured, his tone growing sadder.
“And when Morgan joked about my feelings for you, I just realized that maybe I hadn’t been as discreet as I thought and perhaps you already knew and didn’t talk about it so you wouldn’t hurt me.” He continued, closing his eyes again as if the mere thought was too painful to bear. 
He took a deep breath, his thumbs starting to slowly brush against your cheekbones. “I didn’t want to face you and find out if it was true, because
 Because my heart couldn’t take it.”
You listened quietly to his words, his touch on your skin grounding you and sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach. It broke your heart to hear him speak like that, as if the mere thought of you feeling the same never crossed his mind, as if it was absurd. 
You knew he had low self-esteem, a permanent scar from all the times he was bullied throughout his life, but his self-deprecating view never ceased to shock you.
“Spencer
” You whispered his name like it was sacred, like he was something to be worshipped, and it made his heart skip a beat. “I know all your favorite songs, how you take your coffee, and your favorite books. In order. I know you. I’d be crazy not to love you.”
You could feel him exhale in relief at your quiet confession, his racing mind finding solace in your words. “Really?”
“Of course.” You replied with a chuckle, leaning forward to press a feather-light peck against his lips. “I’ve been in love with you since we were, like, sixteen. All I ever wanted was to be the one to give you everything you want.”
He smiled as you pulled away once again, thinking about how much time you two had lost while dancing around your feelings. Although, he supposed, it wasn’t lost time - you had spent those years giving each other love, even if it wasn’t necessarily romantic.
“We’re both idiots.” He replied, making you laugh once more. You stood up, grabbing both of his hands and guiding him to the kitchen. He followed you with a bright smile on his face; he would follow you anywhere, he suspected.
“I was thinking I could make those cookies you like and, afterward, we could perhaps
 snuggle by the fireplace?” You suggested, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. 
He pretended to think for a moment, before he finally gave in, pressing a delicate kiss against your temple. “Anything you want, little menace.”
Spencer hummed, burying his face further into his neck. “I was thinking of reading a few books. Santa was going to keep me company.”
Later that night, when you were both snuggled up against each other in front of his fireplace while eating the gingerbread cookies you both made, you asked him curiously, “What were you planning to do for Christmas, if I hadn’t shown up?”
You laughed quietly at his admission. “Well, Santa doesn’t know you like I do.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Your genius agreed, peppering little kisses onto your skin. “You’re the best Christmas present ever, do you know that?”
“Yeah? Wait until you see what I actually bought for you.” You replied, a playful smile on your face. “Besides, a little birdie told me you got me the perfect Christmas gift.”
“I’m gonna kill Penelope.” He muttered under his breath, sending you into a fit of laughter. 
Well, maybe this Christmas time
You'll finally realize
That I could be the one
To give you everything you want
1K notes · View notes
ladyloveandjustice · 7 months ago
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Yuri Manga for New (AND Not-So-New) Readers
I was talking on discord about some good yuri for beginners, and figured I'd repost here.
I get way more detailed some of these recommendations in this post, and there's great recs from another person too! Check it out!
I'm doing this accounting to various tones and tastes, so what works as a beginner yuri for one person might not for another, just read the info to figure out what your jam is.
I'll put a star by the ones about adults (which is the majority of them) since I've found that's always something people want.
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Goodbye my Rose Garden (Victorian yuri w/ beautiful art, just beautiful all around)*
How Do We Relationship? (messy adult relationships and lots of actually realistic intimacy)*
She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat- (A woman loves to cook but doesn’t have a huge appetite, only to find the woman next door to her does! She cooks for her and they really start to bond over food and the trials of being working adults. Yes, this is the one where the woman googles lesbian. It's really good)*
Bloom into You- a common go-to yuri for beginners for a reason, about a girl who believes she can't fall in love meeting a girl who wants to date her specifically BECAUSE she can't fall in love. Find out more about it and hear my thoughts here. It has a gorgeous anime that doesn't cover the complete story.
Doughnuts Under the Crescent Moon (sweet office lady romance, ace rep) *
Catch These Hands! (These two women were delinquents and rivals in high school, they meet up again, one reveals she was always into the other, she challenges her to a fight on the condition that if the other woman loses she'll date her. Lots of slapsticky fun and great for any lover of girl delinquents)*
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Run away with me, Girl (there's some abuse shown in this one, but it's a story about healing, the premise is these girls dated in high school, but one of the pressured herself "normal" and marry a man, that man turns out to be abusive, so when the former lovers reunite, they decide to run away together. It's got beautiful art and a well done story)*
The Moon on a Rainy Night (absolutely spectacular, explores the relationship between a hard of hearing girl and her closeted classmate, the characters are complex and the writing is so good!)
Kase-san And...- Starting with Kase-san and the Morning Glories, this is a very fluffy and sweet high school romance. It also has a short movie. (as the manga goes on they become college students, too)
The Two of Them Are Pretty Much Like This (slice of life about a voice actress and anime screenwriter who live together as a couple. Unfortunately the ending is a bit abrupt (and likely premature) but I love their relationship)*
My fave Otherside Picnic is great for scifi and (mild) horror lovers. It's Scifi creepypasta adventure yuri. It's a slow burn but does truly spectacularly deliver on the gay. Has an anime, it's not great, you should start with the novels. Wrote an article here. https://www.animefeminist.com/how-otherside-picnic-masterfully-uses-horror-to-explore-abuse-and-show-healing-queer-love/ *(v young adults, college students)
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The Guy She was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All: (A web manga about a girl who works at a record shop. Her classmate , Aya, wanders in but doesn't recognize her because she has her hair hidden with a hat and is wearing a face mask, and Aya assumes she's a guy. They bond over music and slowly start to get closer...and Aya's finds her heart is fluttering not only over this mysterious boy, but her female classmate that seems a lot like him...) It's going to get a physical release soon.
I Married my Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up (girl and her friend get married simply so her parents will stop bugging her about being single. You can probably guess where it goes from there) *
I Married my Female Friend (similar premise, except no parents involved, it's a platonic marriage they both agreed to with the promise they'll divorce if one of them falls in love. But one woman has decidedly not platonic feeling for the other that she's hiding from her, so It will likely turn romantic, it hasn't all come out here yet so I haven't finished it)*
Monthly in the Garden with my Landlord* (it didn't really hit with me but I might give it a shot again, it's solid despite the terrible title, a woman moves into a house and finds she'll be cohabitating with an idol) (Some more titles I haven't fully read that could appeal: After Hours*, Still Sick*, Cheerful Amnesia*)
My Cute Little Kitten (two roommates adopt a cat...and maybe fall in love?)*
I think all of those work as solid intro- though it does depend on what flavor you're looking for!
This article also covers some of these recs and some manga I didn't mention due to not having completely read it. so check it out: The Beginners Guide to Yuri Manga.
Here's some titles to try when you're a little more familiar with yuri (or you can try them now! I'm not your boss!)
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SHWD (action yuri that's taking forever to come out over here physically, featuring extremely muscular women fighting monsters. I think it was forced to end prematurely too)*
Kiss and White Lily for my Dearest Girl: (I'm only three volumes in, but it's really enjoyable. The main storyline is about two academic rivals, where one is determined to rank first in class, and the other is an effortless genius who becomes intrigued at the possibility of someone beating her. Honestly they have the kind of messy combative sexual tension I wish we'd see more often in yuri because it's so good. The story follows other couples too. However, big warning for some nonconsensual kisses in the first volume at least).
Sweet Blue Flowers/Aoi Hana- (This one is a little bit dated, and boy is the ending weirdly paced, but a lot still holds up imo. A painful and sweet coming of age tale, it also has an anime that's good but ends too soon.
One teenage characters backstory involves incestuous (older cousin) the perpetrator of which pulls the "oh no did I turn you gay? thing" but it's definitely framed as a bad thing. )
Yuri is My Job- a story about messy lesbians in a yuri-themed cafe, and how their real relationships differ from the personas they put on. Read more about it here. Big warning for sexual assault of a minor (by an adult villain) in volume 12. Has an anime covering early material.
490 notes · View notes
mrsjellymunson · 7 months ago
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Start Something
Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Summary: Eddie helps you generate a new D&D character, but that’s not the only thing that gets started that day
WC: ~2.5k
C/W: 18+, MDNI! NSFW? Physical flirting and teasing, heavy petting, sort of in public (nobody notices). Smut-adjacent? Thigh riding. Swearing. Nothing overly explicit, but it does get heated. Eddie and reader are both over 18. Trope: oh no, there aren’t enough seats, where will you sit? No y/n, one pet name. No physical descriptions of reader other than she wears a skirt (of unspecified appearance).
A/N: Should I be working on parts for my outstanding series? Yes. Would this not leave me alone until I wrote it down? Also yes. I had fun creating a new character in a different RPG and I have no idea whether this is how D&D works, so if it’s not, let’s just pretend, okay? 😆 Text dividers by @strangergraphics Dice dividers by me đŸ«Łâ˜ș
I have a general taglist now, let me know if you’d like to be on it đŸ–€
My masterlist
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Eddie can’t believe his luck. You’re pretty (gorgeous, actually), insanely intelligent and have, for some as yet indecipherable reason, decided that you want to play D&D. With a load of nerdy teens. And him.
You’ve joined in with a couple of short campaigns at school, seeming to enjoy them immensely and fitting in well with the group, bantering with the boys and bonding with Erica over your shared ‘take no shit’ attitudes. At first Eddie wasn't sure how that dynamic would work, but you slipped easily into letting the younger girl show you the ropes, and Erica is clearly enjoying having more female energy around.
Eddie knows that creating a new character is one of your favourite things to do. He’d never admit it, but it’s one of his favourite things to watch, too. He adores the sparkle in your eyes, your creative brain and how excited and animated you get when you come up with new ideas. Sometimes they’re sketchy, or even impossible, which he finds hugely endearing. He also loves how you’ll always check in with him, asking his advice and respecting his opinion.
This weekend he’s running a oneshot at his trailer for the younger members and you. New characters, novel plot, the works. The plan is to create new characters in the morning, and play the game in the afternoon.
This’ll be the first time you’ve been to his home, or seen him anywhere outside of school, and Eddie’s nervous as all fuck.
He couched it as ‘a good opportunity to develop a greater understanding of the game’, but he definitely has an ulterior motive for inviting you here.
So far, he’s taken every opportunity he can to make you laugh, sit near you, even touch you. Creating scenarios where a subtle hug, or even a playful tickle is somehow appropriate. He covers it quickly by immediately doing it to someone else, hoping you won’t spot the bulge in his pants and the fact that he can’t stop looking at you.
He’s not sure for how long he can keep it up. He wants so much more, and it won’t be long before he either loses it, takes it too far, or, worst case scenario, you notice he’s being a total creep and ditch the group because of it.
He’s been trying to muster the balls to ask you out for weeks, practicing lines and imagining scenarios, but he’s found it more difficult to plan than even the most complex of his campaigns.
And although it’s unlikely given the crowd of nerds that’ll be around, he couldn’t miss an opportunity to be in your company. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d manage to get you somewhat alone and do it today.
He’s tidied up the trailer as subtly as he can, doing all the dishes and straightening Wayne’s caps, hoping the others won’t notice and ask him awkward questions. But he’s jittery and anxious, terrified that you’ll take one look at where and how he lives and decide you want nothing more to do with him

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Eddie has no idea that you’re just as nervous as he is.
You’ve enjoyed the Hellfire campaigns so far, but haven’t really managed to get all that close to the Dungeon Master, much to your chagrin. Sure, the game is enormous fun and you love all the members and how welcoming they’ve been. But the DM? Holy hell, he’s hot as sin, and being able to spend time around the larger-than-life metal-lover only adds to your enjoyment of the sessions. But you can’t imagine it’ll ever go any further than that. You doubt that a geeky D&D novice who he’s hardly spoken to is his idea of the perfect girlfriend

But god, the physical touches? Christ. It’s as much as you can do to hold it together. You’ve shared a few celebratory hugs, and he’s even tickled you a couple of times, all of which you’ve enjoyed far more than you’d let on, and filed away in your memory for retrieval when you’re alone at night in your bed. But you know that he’s like this with everyone, and are under no illusions that you’re special. So you relish each and every contact, wishing there could be more.
What if he looks at you for too long with those gorgeous, huge, chocolate-brown eyes? And what if you forget how to speak? It’s already happened an embarrassing amount of times, but you’ve managed to pass it off as being stumped because you’re a beginner. You don’t know for how much longer that excuse is gonna fly.
And, if all that wasn’t already enough to send your anxiety levels skyrocketing, you’re also acutely aware that you haven't spent time with any of the group outside of school as yet. You’re worried that you’re going to ruin their social dynamic, or mess up the game. Or embarrass yourself with no easy way to exit, having to wallow in your shame until the mums come back later to pick you all up. Your spiralling makes you realise that although it was really kind of Mrs Wheeler to offer you a lift, you’re now really wishing you’d brought your own car

All kinds of anxious thoughts are running through your mind, from what if your ideas are stupid, to what if everyone (okay, specifically Eddie) dislikes the cookies you’ve baked??
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Neither of you should’ve worried.
As you enter his trailer, Eddie seems a little flustered, running a ringed hand through his gorgeous chestnut waves and unnecessarily straightening a pile of magazines on the coffee table. He smooths down his (new) black tee (that he totally didn’t buy especially for this occasion), and you pay it no mind, assuming he’s just always like this with visitors, and is excited for the campaign.
You barely glance around Eddie’s home, smiling softly at the trinkets you spot, and offering to help plate up the snacks in the kitchen area. You don’t look uncomfortable, and you certainly don’t pass judgment. Eddie eyes you as indirectly as he can, noticing the unusual skirt you’ve got on (that you totally totally didn’t choose specifically for today). He likes it.
Just like at school, you slot easily into the melee of pencils, paper, dice and snacks. Everyone loves your home baked cookies, including Eddie, and Erica even badgers you for the recipe.
Eddie thinks you couldn’t be any more perfect.
You think this isn’t so bad after all, and relax a little.
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The morning’s character building is going well, the fact that it’s a oneshot not diminishing anyone’s efforts or attention to detail.
You still haven’t quite got the hang of the dice and numbers parts, always asking for Eddie’s help with that. His help, not any of the others, he muses with a certain amount of pride and delight. (Selfishly, part of him secretly hopes you never get the hang of it, and will always need to seek his input.)
With you now added to the group, there aren’t enough seats at Eddie’s modest dining table. Nobody notices. Initially Dustin and Will are deep in a discussion on Eddie’s battered sofa, and Mike and Lucas are rifling through the fridge, both at that ‘hollow legs’ stage of teen development and constantly ravenous.
Your character’s almost done, and you just want to clarify a few things, so you ask across the table,
“Eddie? Can I bring this over for you to check please?”
He waves you over, putting on a fake English accent and saying,
“Of course you may, my dear. You know I’m always happy to assist my flock.”
You chuckle lightly at his endearing foolishness as you get up from your place next to Erica, taking your character sheet over to Eddie for his perusal. Behind you, the younger players all convene at the table to share their progress, and all the seats become filled.
With no free spots near him, and assuming you won’t be here for long, Eddie pats his leg absentmindedly and says, “Sit here, lemme see.”
You end up on his lap, facing sideways at ninety degrees.
You initially turn towards him and bring your sheet between you, but there’s not enough room for him to properly examine it, so you turn the other way and lay it on the table in front of him, turning so your back is to him, your legs straddling one of his knees. He leans forward and begins to check it over, confirming some details and asking for more particulars on others.
Eddie’s been admiring your enthusiasm and level of engagement all morning, and he’s impressed by the depth of information you’ve already managed to accumulate.
You’re absorbed with your new character, getting excited and gesticulating wildly. Ideas bounce easily between you and Eddie, his face smiling softly and his dimples popping as he gets to see you like this.
It doesn’t escape him, however, that you’re also bouncing on
 him. He flushes a little, and hopes you don’t perceive it.
As you gesture at a particularly thorny issue on your paper, it dawns on Eddie exactly what parts of you are in contact with him, albeit through multiple layers of fabric. The softness of your thighs and the heat from your core against his leg fully absorb him for a moment, and he has to ask you to repeat yourself. You don’t seem to mind, assuming it was the general clamour in the room that meant he couldn’t hear you. That same clamour covers the sound of him awkwardly clearing his throat and gulping loudly.
It occurs to him that he’s never experienced anything
 like this. Occasional hookups in the woods or after gigs at The Hideout are great and everything, but he’s never before felt like he has a literal, real-life angel sitting on his lap.
And you? You are slowly realising how nice Eddie’s lap feels beneath you. It’s warm and solid, and the denim of his dark jeans feels pleasantly rough on the skin of your legs where your skirt’s ridden up. There’s a pressure against your most intimate areas that’s generating a warm feeling of pleasure in your core. You’re trying to concentrate, but it’s not easy.
It takes a few more moments for you to catch up to where Eddie is, and you register that you’re essentially riding Eddie’s thigh each time you move.
Your lips roll inwards and you swallow deeply, closing your eyes for a moment, trying to compose yourself. It doesn’t help, and only serves to focus your attention even more fully on the delicious sensations beneath your legs. This is the closest you’ve ever been to your Dungeon Master, and for the longest time. And you can’t help how flustered it’s making you.
Embarrassed, you cough and go to stand, but quickly see that there’s nowhere for you to go. Eddie scans the room and notices your predicament, and, in a broken voice that’s almost unbearably soft, tells you, “It’s okay, Princess. You can stay here.”
Fuck. A pet name? You enjoyed that, perhaps a little too much. If you were being rational you could put it down to Eddie referencing your new character, who happens to be an aristocratic mage. But right now? Right now, you’re not feeling particularly rational.
You slowly sit back down, but as you do so Eddie shifts his position, causing you to spread your knees a bit wider than they were and land further up his leg, giving you even more contact with his thigh. You hope he didn’t hear the broken little hum that escaped you.
Eddie leans forward and in a voice that’s far too quiet, and far too close to your ear, he asks, “Are you
 okay?”
You can barely breathe, and all you can manage in response is a tiny, squeaked, “Mhm.”
Behind you, Eddie takes a stuttering breath in, letting it out slowly before he resumes discussions with everyone else at the table.
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You each become more unfettered as the morning progresses. Further not-so-accidental encounters only serve to increase the tension between you both.
At one point, you lean forwards over the table to get one of the manuals, lifting your butt from his leg. For a moment you hope there won’t be a visible wet patch on your skirt, or on his jeans. But then you wonder whether it would actually be so terrible if there was, and whether it would actually be so terrible if Eddie saw

Eddie saw. He hums slightly, but it sounds more like a whimper, and he attempts to cover it by clearing his throat for the umpteenth time today.
He wonders whether you’re doing this on purpose, whether you have any idea what you’re doing to him.
As you settle back onto his thigh, one of Eddie’s hands travels to your hip, holding it lightly, just resting it there. A fire travels up that entire side of your body.
You wonder whether he’s doing this on purpose, whether he has any idea what he’s doing to you.
He leans forward to reach for something on the table, and this time brushes his chest against your back for far longer than is necessary. You feel his breathing against your neck speeding up, hot gasps coming from between his lips instead of controlled outbreaths through his nose.
You reach for a die, and as you sit back you half-intentionally push your core down onto Eddie’s leg just a little bit harder. God, he feels so good. And so what if you’ve moved backwards slightly, so your thigh is even further between his legs, and your butt nudges his crotch?
You definitely feel something hard pressing against your ass. The grip on your hip tightens, and Eddie dips his head forward to hide his face and stifle a moan. Christ.
You think you hear him mumble a quiet and stilted, “Sh-it.”
Eddie can barely contain himself, this morning not going at all how he could’ve even dreamed. He had no idea whether you even liked him, and was planning to sound you out and maybe manage to ask if you wanted to do something cheesy like grab milkshakes sometime.
Having you hot and wet on his lap wasn’t even on the edges of the outside of the periphery of his radar. He’s really trying to keep it together, but he’s barely maintaining a grip on his actions.
Attempting to focus, he leans forward again to explain a character point. You turn your head and look into his eyes attentively, whilst simultaneously rocking your hips ever so subtly and chewing on the inside of your bottom lip.
All at once, something shifts. Something big.
Eddie holds your gaze for way too long. Or maybe you hold his.
Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore, as you both silently acknowledge that there’s way more going on here than simple D&D advice.
Simultaneously, you both come to realise that your affections are most definitely reciprocated.
Shit, he likes me.
Fuck, she likes me back.
And then, as your eyes are locked and he sees your pupils blow wide, Eddie loses that tenuous grip.
Suddenly, both of his hands come to your hips, and he presses his forehead against one of your shoulder blades. He grips you tightly and moves you back and forth against him, squeezing, pulling, pushing, dragging. He’s keeping his movements as tiny as possible so as not to rouse the attention of the group, but what he lacks in expansiveness he more than makes up for with strength and intensity.
You think this might genuinely be the most erotic thing you’ve ever done with your clothes on. You’re hot and wet, and you barely care that you’re in a room full of people, supposedly playing a nerdy game.
Eddie keeps moving you. One exquisite movement spreads your sopping folds in your underwear, and your mouth drops open in a gasp, hand gripping the edge of the rickety table. You try to disguise your movements by shoving the end of a pencil into your mouth and hunching over your paperwork.
Eddie totally notices, and stills you. His warm palms continue to press against your hips, his strong fingertips digging into your flesh. Instead of continuing the back and forth movements, he pulls you down as hard as he can onto his lap whilst outwardly retaining his composure, turning the garbled sounds coming from his throat into encouraging noises for the group.
The two of you can barely focus anymore. Eddie hasn’t let his hands travel anywhere above the tabletop, lest his actions be seen by the others, but if your expression is even half as flustered as Eddie’s is red, somebody is going to notice something. And soon.
You take a couple of deep, steadying breaths.
You’ve already completed your character, so you decide to do a faux check in with Eddie, asking, not entirely innocently,
“Eddie? Is there anything else you’d want me to
 take off?”
Turning, you add, even less subtly,
“What should I do now, Master?”
Eddie’s face screws up and his jaw clenches, and you feel the rock of his hips as he bucks his hips up underneath you, pressing his hardness into your flesh and muffling a grunt into your shoulder.
His head snaps back up suddenly and his voice becomes clear and piercing, as he inhales quickly and declares to the room, waving a hand,
“Okay, lunchtime! Everybody out!! You guys need some fresh air and I need a break. I don’t wanna see you for at least an hour, and you’d better come back with pizza! Goddit?”
The teens comply, bustling out the door, a few of them eye-rolling and grumbling something about how this is almost like being at home with their parents.
They’re still leaving as Eddie moves his face so close to you that you can feel his breath in your hairline, and his soft, pink lips tickle the edge of your ear.
In a low, velvety voice, he murmurs, in a tone that’s somehow both challenging and pleading,
“Please Princess, turn around and say that to my face...”
You smirk, and reach behind you to pick up a D12.
With all the sultriness you can muster, you raise your eyebrows and indicate for him to take it. He opens his hand, and you place it down, the tips of your fingers lightly skimming the hot, damp skin of his palm.
Looking into his eyes again, you’re relieved to discover that your power of speech remains entirely intact, as you murmur, with more confidence than you thought you possessed,
“Okay, Master. How about this? You roll, and the result is how many kisses you have to give me...”
Eddie swallows and almost chokes, sitting up straight and gently lobbing the die across the mess of paper and writing implements. His chocolate eyes don’t leave yours as it rolls and comes to a stop in the centre crease of one of his manuals. He struggles with the internal conflict of never wanting to break your gaze and a deep desire to check the number.
He has no idea where the rest of today, let alone this, is going, and he’s grateful he has at least the next hour in which to find out. But he does know one thing:
He’s never been so desperate to roll a 12 in his entire fucking life.
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Thanks so much for reading!
(This might become part of an anthology of D&D-related adventures - let me know if you’d like to see more!)
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this, it’s honestly like throwing breadcrumbs and roses for your writers đŸ˜ƒđŸ„°
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blackknight-kai · 3 months ago
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SW/DO... you grab his tail
spoilert alert: it's sensitive
seriously this trope has so much potential. He can flustered, amused, used to to play with you and it's hellishly strong so it can be used as a another limb... just saying
Anon asked: Ello, we all know that the monkei bois would love the reader very much sooo....what if..what if...you wrote about how they couldn't control their tails around the reader despite how hard they might want to.
This can be done in the form of just the tail holding the reader's waist or their tails outting their feelings when trying to appear tough and nonchalant for the reader.
(P.S. I love your work so much!! :)
OKAY! So you both had a thought on the same track. And I HAVE THOUGHTS. There will be some things I keep to myself just yet, because I do have fics I’m writing etc LOL.
I’m gonna start with the fun silly thoughts. (This first bit will go for both SW & DO as a ‘set up’ - a drabble will be down below for one of each)
- [ ] Anon, you are on the right thought there. I imagine his tail is the one thing you can count on to tell you how he’s feeling or what’s happening.
- [ ] He has to actively think about it to make that limb STOP moving and giving him away and 90% of the time he forgets .
- [ ] Generally his tail is fairly still or just moves casually, sometimes it would flick or swish if he’s feeling a strong emotion, he’s never had to worry about it before. But when it comes to you? Oh no that thing fucking LOVES you.
- [ ] As soon as he hears you, smells you, or see’s you that tail is activated
- [ ] He can pout or be dramatic or pretend to be annoyed all he wants but that tail is and will always be a simp for you and will tell you immediately what he’s feeling.
- [ ] It took a while to translate what each specific movement means but over time you become an expert at knowing what each twitch or flick or swish meant. You can judge quickly by the pace it moves or if the movements are jerky and twitchy. Or if it’s lazy and playful. This fact is something that gets under his skin because he cannot hide from you.
- [ ] It’s adorable to see him out of the corner of your eye slap his tail when he realizes it’s doing something stupid like trying to sneakily wrap around some part of you or giving his mood away.
- [ ] Enarian, friend, you got it right too. That tail is sensitive as HELL. So when it acts like a little homing beacon (without his conscious thought) and latches on to you it does all kinds of fuckery to him internally and he has to stop himself from physically reacting (if he catches himself fast enough).
- [ ] Once in a while though he wont notice that he’s hooked his tail around you and you have to debate with yourself on do you tell him or nah?
- [ ] It’s soft as hell too.
- [ ] He is used to baby monkeys grabbing his tail and playing with it. He always used to stiffen it and let them hang from it or he would wrap it around them and toss them in the air making them giggle and make adorable monkey noises of surprise before catching them with it. But thats about it and unless he was purposely using it to mess with someone he generally keeps it to himself. Until you.
- [ ] Before you guys get together that thing makes him a MESS. He doesnt know what to do because when you make his heart race his tail of course has to swish and flick like an excited cub.
- [ ] When hes flustered it goes a little poofy and flicks just so and he HATES that he can see the knowing amusement in your eyes as you catch on.
- [ ] One thing he does note though is how much you seem to love his tail. Not just because it gives him away, oh no. You stare at it longingly when you think hes not looking.
- [ ] He will definitely hit you with it (gently) and hold down his shiver when it touches you. He enjoys the little laugh you make and how you bat at his tail with your hand.
- [ ] I HC that Monkeys have courting gestures and tail language/touches are part of it. He has definitely been making those specific motions regardless of knowingly or not.
- [ ] His tail is possessive of you - by extension he is. He knows you wont go for anyone else and hes secure in that, but no one else’s tail is going to cling to you or brush against you. This is a mates touching zone only.
Destined One
Before you two got together his tail used to make him oh so angry. At first he didn’t notice its sudden
interest in you. Nor did he notice how it gave away his true emotions as he was unused to having to pay attention to it before leaving home on his journey. He’s not stupid though and while he doesnt talk much if ever he is observant. The way your eyes started to flick to his tail caught his attention and at first he thought it was because you were a human and curious about it. But then one afternoon while he was trying act unaffected by you tending to a wound he had gotten his heart was pounding at your close proximity and he felt restless but he made sure not to move an inch nor show his turmoil on his face. He noticed your eyes dart to his side and the small smile you had on your face. Curious he looked over only for his whole body stiffen as his tail was
..swishing in a specific pattern. The movement itself a sign of happiness and contentment amongst his people and he was NOT used to his tail doing this, having never been one for expressing his feelings be it on his face or his tail. His body language was always that of steely determination and focus.
That one simple realization opened a whole new problem for him as he very quickly became aware that his tail NEVER stopped doing stupid things around you and apparently you had been observing every detail during your travels. It’s embarrassing. The knowing little smiles on your face as his tail curls and uncurls happily as he tries to pretend that you pulling twigs out of his fur doesnt make him practically melt inside from the simple act of grooming alone. Or when he’d spooked you by turning into a peach and transforming at the last second as you go to take a bite, hed kept a straight face as you pouted at him. You’d immediately called him out for ‘laughing’ at you even though no sound left his throat or mouth as, of course, his tail swished merrily behind him giving his amusement away.
It’s not just that though, the stupid thing will NOT stop touching you now that he’s hyper aware of not only his growing feelings but also what had been going on with his tail giving his emotional state away. He has to actively make sure his tail remains where it should which is difficult when he’s trying to also keep an ear out for danger and keep an eye on you. You either dont notice or dont mind his clingy appendage. He certainly does. Especially with how sensitive it is and how often he finds it slithering across the small gap between you two just to anchor itself on your arm or leg like a soft little hook. Every time it brushes your skin it sends thousands of little signals through his body and he just hopes you dont notice how hard he has to concentrate not to shudder. His tail is always needy and starved for your warmth and it’s embarrassing how often he has to grab it mid anchor attempt or tuck it inside his shirt/pants just to keep it from touching you.
It doesnt get better either because as you get comfortable with it you seem to allow his tail purchase on you. Even petting it sometimes and making his mouth go dry and his breath catch in his throat. It’s honestly overwhelming and sends his senses into overdrive as his entire world narrows down to the feel of you against his tail. Most day’s is all he can do not to wrap it around your waist and lock you to him.
The day you grabbed his tail was something he will forever be embarrassed about. He apparently was too distracted by eating dinner to notice your annoyance with it. You both had had a long day, the fighting seemed to never end and you were taking a very late dinner having missed both breakfast and lunch due to being interrupted out of your sleep that morning by a fearsome foe. Neither of you spoke as you set up a quick camp that night and settled into a quick dinner before the last light of the day went out. He was tired and irritated, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and rest his aching muscles. His tail apparently decided to reflect his frustration’s unbeknownst to him. It wasn’t until you let out an annoyed huff and snatched his tail with a firm but gentle hand that he realized he had been thumping it rhythmically against your thigh. The instinctual noise that left his throat was high pitched and surprised, with a slight edge of a moan to it as of course your touch to the sensitive appendage was pleasing. A little too pleasing. At the sound you both still and look at each other with wide eyes.
You’d followed after him stumbling through the woods in the dark as he shot up and stalked away, his tail flicking with embarrassment behind him. He’d taken pity on you as your eyes couldnt see in the dark like his and had stopped. Things were said, feelings were shared, and at the end of it all as you lie there getting ready to sleep that night he shyly allowed his tail to curl around your leg consciously for the first time.
Slight NSFW thoughts
- [ ] Over time you realized how sensitive that tail really is. Purposely you would snatch it just to watch his whole body stiffen and the fur on his neck fluff up before he turns and gives you a heated (not with anger) glare.
- [ ] As you become more comfortable in your new relationship so does the tail and his reaction which doesnt bode well for you all the time especially since he’s always on the look out now for you to try to grab it.
- [ ] He’s noticed how your skin reacts when he brushes it against you softly and that handsome smirk on his face he gets as goosebumps prickle up on you makes you melt.
- [ ] He still gets embarrassed by it giving his true clingy nature away but now his teasing playful nature has settled in to outweigh his previous frustrations.
- [ ] You learn very quickly not to stroke his tail. Not unless you want a very disgruntled heavy breathing monkey carrying you off to somewhere safe/private to let out his rising need. His tail would be flicking impatiently behind him the whole way of course.
- [ ] You also learn how freaking strong the damn thing is, you’d known before as he has used it to push you out of the way as needed, but especially when hes sleeping its like an unmoving vice around whatever part of you it has wrapped around.
- [ ] In more, desperate situations he uses it as almost like a third hand. Yanking you as he pleases or holding you open so he has a free hand. It anchors you possessively to him in your passion.
- [ ] He’s also discovered you like how the soft fur feels against your nipples and he uses that to his advantage more than he should.
Wukong
Wukong has been around a long long time. He can be both oblivious and hyper vigilant about many things. One thing he was very aware of was his tail complete and utter lack of disrespect for its owner. If this was happening to ANYONE else it would be hysterical and he would never ever let them live it down. But it’s not. So it’s not funny. It’s aggravating and embarrassing. He is too old to be displaying such cub like behavior. His tail should do as he demands, it’s attached to him for fucks sake!
Unfortunately it has a mind of its own. And you are on its mind 25/8.
He very quickly caught on to how his tail reacts when you’re around. You were very careful not to give it away of course but he caught you one day peeking at his tail as he pretended to brush off your thanks after he had stopped you from tripping. Your grateful smile had made him feel twitch and warm, his heart galloping in his chest at the sight. But of course he couldnt have you knowing just a simple smile had him melting like an adolescent during season. Oh no. He grumped, acting put out, and poked and teased you commenting on your terrible walking skills. The usual. Normally you roll your eyes and scoff at his playful irritating words, and you did, but not after taking a quick glance behind him before a twinkle seemed to shine in your eye. He was instantly made aware of his tails happy little swish and flick, internally cursing he sniffed haughtily forcing it to stop. But the damage was done and try as he might to stop it, heat pricked at his cheeks.
This became a reoccurring issue. Every time he tried rebuff your thanks or act nonchalantly towards you his tail couldnt help itself but give his true feelings away, especially when your eyes fell towards it. It made teasing you all the more difficult and the knowing smirk on your face made him twitchy. Constantly he has to remind himself to keep an eye on the stupid thing when you’re around or when someone talks about you.
But you seem to have deciphered the language of tails for the most part. He doesnt know exactly HOW you figured it out honestly, he’s impressed. Clearly this has been going on for a while now too. It annoys the hell out of him as he finds himself flustered repeatedly and has to make a conscious effort to keep the silly thing still.
It also would. Not. Stop. Trying. To. Touch. You. The first time hed noticed THAT happening was embarrassing to say the least. You’d been walking next to him one evening, the dark creeping in as you both made your way back to camp after a little walk.
You are deep into a so called ‘scary’ story you’d been told as a kid. Wukong is listening intently, enjoying the sounds of your voice, when your sudden soft laughter cuts off your story. He’s always attuned to the sounds you make and instantly it made his old heart skip a beat. Masking it though he forces a pout and turns to grumble at you for stopping midway through the tale when he notices a strange sensation sending a tickle up his spine.
Glancing down he see’s to his shock his tail has hooked itself on to your hand, curling around your palm and your fingers are gently holding it, petting it a little with your thumb. His breath stutters as his fur ripples from the soft touch. You snickering catches his attention and he snaps gaze up to meet yours, your smiling and there is a little sparkle in your eye that makes him feel like he’s going to pop out of his skin.
To his embarrassment you teased him about being scared of the story and needing to hold your hand. He’d yanked his tail away and puffed up his chest before stomping off ahead saying he only did that because YOU sounded scared. In reality he had no clue he’d done it and your teasing laughter was stabbing holes in his pride. Your next comment threw him for a loop though. “Hey at least it was my hand this time.”
What that meant was quickly revealed to him as he started to notice how often his tail would gravitate towards you, either to simply brush against your side or leg. Or occasionally trying to hook on to you as you walk or relax close to him for the evening. Wukong found himself many a times sitting high up on a tree branch and grabbing his tail with a strangling grip, seething at it for not keeping itself to itself.
Eventually he had to come to terms with its apparent infatuation with you and you it. Outside of it betraying his thoughts and emotions he has trouble with how sensitive it is and how much you seem to enjoy touching it. It’s bad enough when his tail brushes against you, he has to steel himself to not react, but you petting it absentmindedly? Thats something else entirely. It takes every ounce of his strength, patience, and resolve to not make a sound or to not do something shameful when your fingers happen to slide over his tail.
Wukong does his best to work around the issue so you dont catch on to his plight, playfully hitting you with it or tickling your cheek. Simple things to distract you from his reactions.
One day though he’d had the brilliant idea to mess with you as was his favorite pastime. You’d just gotten done having a wash and yeah, he probably should have paid closer attention to his timing but he was eager to see your pouting annoyed face and your adorable annoyed reaction to the idea that had cropped up in his head. And so, with his keen hyper hearing he listens for when you finish dressing and begin fiddling with your pack.
With a good amount of speed, enough that you wont see him coming, he zips through the trees and grabs you tossing you high up into the air. He cackles as you let out a surprised scream and as you fall, passing by the tree branch he had settled himself he catches you by the ankle with his strong tail. “WUKONG!” You scream at him and he leans over to look at down at you and laugh at your red face. Your face is an angry red, reddest he’s ever seen in fact, but thats not all he notices. As you sway, dangling by the ankle his tail is still holding, you are bent at an awkward angle holding your shirt between your legs. Bare legs.
He catches a glimpse of what your hiding and his tail loosens as his jaw goes slack from the realization that you had not put on your underclothes yet, nor your pants. Your scream as you fall snaps him out of his heated surprise and he moves with lightning speed to catch you. Your face is extremely red and you dont dare look at him as he gently sets you down on your feet. “Leave me.” Is all your cold embarrassed voice demands and he gives a quick jerky nod before stalking off.
Wukong is stuck then by a mixture of emotions as he waits for you back at your little camp. On one hand he’d seen something he could only ever let himself fantasize about in his dreams or precious moments alone. On the other, he’d seen it without your consent and while upsetting you throughly in the process. His heart doesnt stop racing for even a moment as his thoughts bombard him. Hearing your footsteps return to camp some time later makes him oddly nervous.
As you step into view Wukong stands and you two look at each other for a few moments taking each other in. His tail is oddly still. In fact it’s hanging stiffly behind him and the tip is curled just a little between his legs. He doesnt fear you, no. He fears causing you genuine hurt and pain. Seeing his tail and his furrowed brow that he doesnt bother to hide you sigh and relax your tense shoulders before sitting down close by to him.
The conversation that night is difficult. You both being upset for different reasons and being unsure about how to move forward. It takes him allowing himself a moment of vulnerability for you to meet him half way. The words done come easy but you both finally talk about the strange tension between you, the mutual care and enjoyment of each other. Feelings are almost whispered between you and finally, finally Wukong can wrap his arms and tail around you without fear as you now know the depths of his feelings.
Slight NSFW thoughts!
- [ ] Wukong definitely still messes with you 24/7.
- [ ] His tail is a prime suspect at all times.
- [ ] Very rarely will it be still around you. But even being a couple has its challenges and in the beginning there are several instances where his tail hangs down motionlessly with the tip curled between his calves. It’s not fear in those moments, it’s a show of his despair over upsetting you. This specific action becomes rarer over time.
- [ ] Once he discovers how much you REALLY like the damn thing he pretty much as it anchored to you all the time.
- [ ] When he needs two hands he makes sure his tail is settled into your hand wrapped or around some part of you.
- [ ] When you realize just how sensitive the appendage is its game on. You have ammo now to tease him back, purposely brushing your fingers through the fur on it or maybe teasingly bringing it up to your lips for a little kiss.
- [ ] Watching his fur puff up at your little actions is endlessly amusing.
- [ ] Until he turns the tables on you.
- [ ] Be prepared for his tail to swipe at you with very specific intentions. It will caress your ass or you might find it slithering between your legs for a moment to tease you over your clothes before he prances off with a smirk.
- [ ] Would he swipe his tail through your juices so he can smell it again later like a perv? Yes.
- [ ] He’s going to use that strong as hell tail to make sure your body is exactly where he wants it or he will wrap it around your waist and hold you steady as you move on top of him, his hands free to do as they please.
- [ ] Don’t tempt him because he might even try having sex with you upside down hanging from a tree by just his tail.
- [ ] Cuddling? Yeah his tail is involved 24/7, I hope you enjoy your new clingy best friend.
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endo-bunny · 5 months ago
Text
Sit Down Now and Rest
-~-~-~-~-~-~
Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.
Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader
Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)
Word Count: 1,627
Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present
 But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.
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You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.
You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.
One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.
The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”
You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.
Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”
The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.
“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”
You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your
on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.
The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.
When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.
“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”
“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”
She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.
When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.
Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”
You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.
As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.
“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.
“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”
You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.
You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.
You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.
The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.
Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.
“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”
You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.
“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.
“Ya feeling better?”
“Ya, I'm fine.”
“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.
You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.
They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”
“I-I just don't want to
 I don't like the feeling.”
They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.
“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.
“I'm sorry
” Your voice comes out in a whisper.
“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.
“I know.”
“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.
You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.
“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.
You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.
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Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula
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