#I think we should get our lowest posts too because I know I have like 24 that got no notes and I think it's funny

[teaboot]

Your post about art vs content got me thinking about the differences between the two. To me there is no difference besides the mindsets. One is of creator and the enjoyer, the other is content and consumer it removes the personhood, the joy/emotion, from the equation. Like a writer or video creator may not see their work as art so content creator maybe a way to refer to themselves comfortably but it sounds so machine, emotionless and lifeless, like a cookie cutter recipe mass producing something verses people lovingly crafting something...then again Disney uses a cookie cutter recipe for the most part and it brings out bangers cause people lovingly make it their own so maybe I'm thinking too hard on this

Does my long-winded rant make sense?

see, I get what you mean, but I still feel like the willingness to entertain calling art of any kind "content" reduces it to the facet of consumption where in reality, the experience of consuming art is not the sole defining trait of it.

Reducing arts like music, writing, painting, dance, voice acting, theater, etc. to the role of "content"- a thing created to be consumed, measured and valued by how pleasant or easy it is to digest- I feel that it was our biggest red flag to herald the incoming tide of AI "art".

Because if art is "content", if arts are nothing but consumable matter, then obviously the key to success is to produce as much soft, tasty, edible paste as we possibly can at the lowest possible expense.

It's the same issue I have with "meal replacements", diet culture, nutrient slurries, twenty-step skincare routines, 24/7 body padding and shapewear and laxative teas and "grind culture". It's not a cause, but a symptom, of the disease that is late-stage capitalism.

Things must be produced at low cost and remain in high demand forever. Things must be perfect and palatable and the new hit trend forever. People must pay hand over fist to consume without asking anything in return, and if they start dropping like flies at the unending unrewarded thankless demand of it all, then that must be treated as a weakness. We should all take pride in how much we can spend, pay, give, produce, and think as little as possible about what we ask for ourselves.

So, who cares if, of two identical paintings, one was made by a person and one was made by a computer program? It's the same work, so what does it matter? What does it matter?

I am an artist. I make art. I ask a question, make a statement, declare something horrific or challenging or upsetting or wrong or grotesque, and when you respond, we are together experiencing a conversation. We are existing, two people living one life and reaching out and touching across time and space. No matter the work, you're at the barest minimum saying, "I'm alive, and you're alive, and at one time or another we shared this same world, and at the end of the day we aren't too terribly different. My heart is worth sharing, and your heart is worth the struggle of understanding."

An AI-generated piece, a computer-generated voice, a CGI puppet of someone long since dead and gone, they cannot speak. They have no voice. Ay best, they are the most chewable, consumable, landlord-beige common denominator possible that you can sit and listen to like the lone survivor of a shipwreck listening to the same three songs on a broken record, and at worst, they're the uncaring vomit of an empty, unloving, value-addled hack wearing the skin of someone I know over their own.

When you abandon art to say that you make content, that should not be a point of pride. That's an embarrassment. That's not sitting down for an intelligent discussion with an equal, that's kneeling at the feet of the crowd and saying, "what do you want to see me do? I can be anyone you've ever loved. I can be them, I can be anyone, as long as you love me."

I can make content. I can be consumed. What do you want to consume? I'll make myself consumable. I'll make myself just like anything you like. And I'll make so much of it that you'll never have to go anywhere else, because it'll all be right here, and under all the cut-and-paste schlock you've seen before I will sit alone in the dark and the silence and I will know that I am safe, because I am valued, because I am desired, and I need to be desired or else I am worthless like a factory that no longer churns out steel or a hen that no longer lays eggs or a cow that is too old to make milk.

Content, the most literal meaning, is something which is contained inside a container. What it is doesn't really matter, and the best it can hope to be is something worthy of being scooped out and used.

Art is an experience that transcends value. Art is something you can eat without paying for. You can make it out of anything and anyone can do it. It can be crude and vulgar and bad, and that's a strength because it means something. It always, always means something, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not. It's not content because it doesn't fill anything. It's a living, breathing thing, and whether you want to birth it or eat it, then you're going to have to be willing to put the fucking work in

[ladyofthebears]

To add this this whole Jace discourse I just want to say this:

I am the result of an affair my grandmother had with a native american man whilst my pappy, who raised me, was in Vietnam during the war.

As a white passing mixed kid, i was not called names often. I was looked down on, i was treated like an outsider in my own family, sneered at with whispers spread behind my and my brother’s backs.

I have been called a mongrel only a few times but i vividly remember the first time it happened.

I was small enough that my brothers could still trick me into thinking i was adopted because of my pale skin and light hair. After a family gathering (of my Pappys side of the family), i asked how everyone in the family knew we were our father’s children immediately.

My brother smiled very sardonically at me and sprouted something about him and our other brother sticking out like sore thumbs. I was confused, because they knew i was my father’s daughter as well, despite how i looked. I asked why they ignored us and were mean and looked at us like grandma looked at the dead snakes in her garden. He laughed at me and said

“Guess life is just harder for filthy mongrels like us”

I remember that phrase so vividly. And maybe my brother meant it to be joking, but those words stuck with me for years. Stuck with me through puberty when i wore even PALER foundation and put blonde streaks in my hair. Stuck with me as i grew up further in a racist religion that specifically makes indigenous people out to be evil. I remembered it when i finally started interacting with more native people in college to reconnect, remembered it when a white girl told me that “if i wanted to be taken seriously as an Indian i should dye my hair black and start tanning”

Those words have haunted me for a long time and they have only helped to make me despise myself and how I came to be.

I hate being stuck between two things- i hate looking white and having all the unfairly given privilege it grants me over my brother. I hate how i am seen as a pretendian for trying to interact with my culture. I hate knowing i can never get tribal affiliation because of the affair.

I know i have immense privilege because of how i look, but those words still haunt me. Because at the end of the day, thats how i see myself at my lowest moments.

I know that on twitter there is major discourse about Jaces words and actions.

And while yes, this is a fictional show, Jaces struggle is one i am intimately attuned to. I said things and did things i regret looking back out of anger for my own situation, i acted in immature and childish ways. But at the end of the day, i can look back and recognise that because i lived through it, and grew through it. I was constantly confused and hurt and torn between differing worlds and families and peoples and it took me a long long time to come to peace with it.

I am still not fully at peace with it.

So- while you may criticise the writing all you want, please realise that Jaces hurt and anger are feelings that can be very very real for some people. Jace, is obviously a fictional character who doesnt have real world feelings. But your mutuals, the people who see your post on discover page are, and your words about a fictional character can hurt them too.

I am not saying mince your words and center your world around sensitive snowflakes- i am saying, have some empathy- even if it is for a stupid fictional character. Because maybe along the way, you can find empathy for other real world people too.

These were the kids that were made to feel like dirty mongrels.

[fushiglow]

Who the hell is Gojō Satoru?

Some thoughts on his character in 236

Seeing everyone arguing about Gojō’s characterisation in 236 over the last week makes me realise just how good the chapter is, no matter how dissatisfied I am with Gojō's death.

When you're upset about something, it's hard to judge accurately whether something is 'bad' or whether you simply don't like it — and they are different things. Interestingly, 236 presented me with a conflict I've never experienced when following a story before. I'm really disappointed with the way Gege Akutami chose to end Gojō's story, but I think 236 will go down as one of the most beautiful chapters of Jujutsu Kaisen. In that sense, my feelings about the chapter after a week of sitting with it aren't too unrecognisable from my initial feelings — just with all of the big emotions that were colouring my judgment stripped away.

I think there *is* value in immediate reactions, and I think much of the initial outrage about the chapter was simply people grieving what was an intentionally shocking end to a beloved character. I hate that people tried to police social media reactions to the chapter, because I think everyone should be allowed to process their feelings in their own online space (as long as they don't bring harm to others, of course).

Aside from the outpouring of emotion, there have been countless arguments about 'who' Gojō was as a person in the end, and that doesn't sit right with me either. I think many artists would be disappointed to hear fans of their work insist that there is one 'proper' interpretation — because the value of sharing your art with the world is in how different people receive it based on their own experiences.

To me, that's Gojō Satoru as a character.

I know lots of people have already shared some variation of the post below (and everyone has moved on to 237 now anyway) but this was sitting in my drafts so I thought I may as well hit post before 237 is officially released!

Gege Akutami keeps Gojō at a distance from both the readers and the characters around him, making it deliberately difficult to know who he is as a person. Despite that, everyone in-universe and out has something to say about Gojō's character, but we've never really known how Gojō views himself until this chapter.

For maybe the first time in Jujutsu Kaisen, we get to deep dive into Gojō's interior world and hear his innermost thoughts when he's at his lowest and most vulnerable. As a result, something fascinating happened across the fandom.

Even when Gojō literally tells Getō that the 'wretchedness of isolation' is something he shares with Sukuna, that he gave everything he had so that Sukuna might understand him and be understood in turn, and that he knows not everyone will get it, some people called Gojō 'out of character' in 236.

And isn't that just so damn meta?!

Akutami loves challenging readers' assumptions through his characters, so while the chapter is shocking, it isn't really surprising. I'd even go as far as suggesting that the journey of emotions the reader experiences while reading 236 is the exact same journey Gojō is going on in-story.

The thing is, I've seen tons of people arguing about whether Gojō was selfless or selfish, whether he fought for the love of his students or for the love of the fight, whether he took strong young sorcerers under his wing from a place of care or simply as a means to an ends — but I think the point is that it's always been all of those things at once.

Because he's human, and humans contain multitudes.

I think we were meant to have our view of Gojō shaken by 236 — the same way Gojō's view of himself is challenged in this chapter. However, just because we can find some truth in Nanami's criticism of Gojō, doesn't mean that his interpretation of Gojō's character is the correct one — especially when it's entirely possible that what happens in the airport isn't even real.

Getō listens with empathy as Gojō confesses his self-doubt and regrets, the solitude of his strength, and the dehumanisation he experienced as the 'Strongest'. He even expresses jealousy when Gojō admits he had fun fighting someone strong enough to understand him. Then, only two pages after Gojō says, 'You can cherish a flower and help it bloom, but you don't ask it to understand you', Nanami appears and calls him a pervert for his approach to sorcery.

It's actually really funny.

Importantly, Nanami isn't exactly wrong for saying the enjoyment Gojō gets from fighting is a little disturbing (and, to be clear, I *adore* this about him) — it's just not the whole picture of Gojō Satoru.

Akutami actually gives us some lovely imagery to visually represent the gulf between those who understand the solitude of strength and those who don't — Gojō and Getō sit on one side of the bench while Nanami and Haibara sit on the other, with each duo facing in opposite directions.

I don't think Akutami is implying that either side is wrong or right — it's just two different perspectives. Nevertheless, Gojō is pictured side by side with someone who understands him, and back to back with someone who doesn't understand him but who cares for him all the same.

Recognising this, he pivots to asking Nanami about something they can both relate to and receives an important lesson in return. What Nanami means and what Gojō takes from it is deliberately ambiguous, like everything that's discussed inside the airport:

Could Sukuna have won without the Ten Shadows?

Who does the 'flower' represent: Gojō, the people around him, or both?

Did Gojō reach Sukuna like he hoped?

Why exactly is Getō jealous?

Does Gojō feel satisfied?

Is Nanami's assessment of Gojō's character correct?

What is the relevance of north and south?

Which direction did Gojō choose?

Is it all in Gojō's imagination or is it real?

Whether we'll receive answers to those questions remains to be seen, but I highly suspect that most of them don't even have a definitive answer.

Once again, it's just a matter of perspective, and I think that's Gojō's character in a nutshell. Whichever side of the bench you're sitting on, whatever you see in Gojō says more about you than it does about him — and that's exactly why it's so fascinating to see the fandom erupt into arguments about who's interpreting the character correctly.

I can honestly say I think the chapter is really beautiful even though I hate what happened to Gojō, and that's an entirely new experience for me. For that alone, Akutami has my praise. Whatever happens in the rest of the story will determine whether 236 becomes my favourite chapter in the whole of Jujutsu Kaisen — isn't that bizarre?

By the way, I found a really thoughtful post about some of the word choices in 236. The poster shared some really interesting insights across a series of posts and they convey the tone of the chapter really well. Well worth checking out!

[rey-jake-therapist]

Warning: this post contains spoilers from the comics The Sandman. I don't know why I bother because these books were written 30 years ago and Google will tell you how it ends in a second, but oh, well, I feel like being nice today.

So many people call Morpheus' death a suicide... And argue that the show should change it, that it should be framed more as an unavoidable sacrifice... Or even "better", changed so it becomes a happy ending.

And good news people! I won't argue with you on that. I'm just posting because I'm wondering: can it be really called a *suicide*? Is it even a death?

Okay, I hear you growl from here. Yeah, I know. Morpheus pretty much dies, he takes his sister's hand and disappears, yada yada. It is a death. Sort of. But then, the Endless are just not... They're not people. They can never die like we die, because they are concepts that wil keep existing as long as there will be living beings who will believe in the existence of these concepts.

So when I see the ending of The Sandman denounced as some sort of glorification of suicide as "the only way out" I humbly wonder if it's not a bit of simplification of what the story has to say, you know? And before my post is taken as a judgement over Sandman fans who feel this way: it's NOT. I actually understand this point of view for the reason that I used to feel that way too. I was terribly tempted by suicide when I was younger, and like an old bad habit it keeps coming back and forth when I'm at lowest; for this reason TKO made me uncomfortable first, and my guts also told me that the show had to, not necessarily change the ending, but at least make Morpheus' death look less like a suicide.

But then I re-read TKO, and I read meta. Doing both made me realize that by sympathizing with Morpheus as if he was a human being, I had forgotten something ESSENTIAL about him: he's not human. And he's not only Morpheus: he's Dream of the Endless before being Morpheus. Morpheus is a persona, more than a person. Therefore I think that his "death" is interpreted wayyyyy to literally by the fandom. Just like the fact that he's "replaced" by Daniel is often interpreted as something negative that implies that Morpheus was not good enough, while I'm convinced it was not at all the intent that Neil Gaiman had in mind.

There's something very important that Dream says at some point: it's that one has to change or die. Morpheus couldn't change, so from his point of view, he had to die. But as I said earlier, Dream as a concept can't die! Of course, he could have chosen like Destruction to abandon his functions, but it's a decision that Morpheus should have taken, and we know he was too binded by the rules and responsibilities to take this decisions. He would have never done that because it was against his nature. Which meant, Dream had to change of persona. Morpheus would die, but Dream would change. And what better to serve humanity, than a being who was as much a human as he was a dream?

We tend to consider Daniel as an entity totally separated from Morpheus, but 1) Daniel was conceived in the Dreaming, making him a part of Morpheus (it's not to be cruel that Morpheus told Lyta her baby was a part of the Dreaming, and that in consequence he would come to take him. He was just stating a fact: everything created in the Dreaming belongs to the Dreaming/him). 2) when Daniel becomes Dream, he doesn't just get a job: all that Morpheus used to be, his family, his memories.... He gets them too.

In conclusion, for me, interpreting Morpheus' death as a suicide is too literal. I think that it's rather a very poetic story that translates the changes that we must all go through at some point in our life, even if it's painful. We, like Dream, must sometimes change our point of view on life, otherwise we will miss what's really important. Sometimes, the change is so big and scary it can feel like a death; the death of what we used to be, the death of childhood, the death of our youth, etc... But it's only a feeling, because like Dream, what we go through is necessary a transformation. We, too, must change.... Or die.

I said in a previous thread that contrary to what is often believed, Morpheus trading his place with Daniel is not a 180° change for Dream: he's the result of a change that started occurring a long time ago. His hair is white because his point of view is new, untainted. He's Dream of the Endless starting anew, but with Morpheus' experience to guide him.

Maybe it's why Morpheus is turned into a star after his death? Is he a guiding star for Daniel!Dream?

Sorry of there's a lot of typos, I may come back to it later for edits but I don't have time now.... I just wanted to say at the end that in my humble opinion, the comics don't spread a bad message that should be changed for the show, because "just kill yourself if you're unhappy" has never been the message of The Sandman. I think however it should be made less confusing than it is for the average viewer, especially since Morpheus!Dream often looks more like a cute blue eyed teenager than like an ethereal immortal being. It's hard to forget he's not "just some lil' guy", so of course his upcoming death will be even harder to stomach...

[thequeenofthestorm]

D&D Armor in Elden Ring

A Fashion Showcase & Advice

Read Part One here

Introduction

Hello! It's me again... already. Yeah I should just make these videos instead of rambling on Tumblr about them. Would you guys watch these as videos? I'm not making much content on my YouTube channel anyway. I can decide that later. Anyways, if you read my post from last night, you would know that I use the twelve different D&D armor types to make my character designs in Elden Ring. Well, I want to go over some different designs I've put together for each of the armor types. I want to use this to show some inspiration to those of you who may not know where to start, and to help show some techniques you can use to make characters with even the lowest endurance wear what looks like plate armor without going overloaded! :D

Before we get into it, I want to introduce our model. This is Tempest:

She's a copy of my original 100% playthrough that I used for my first DLC playthrough. As such, she has the most DLC armor of all of my characters, so she'll be our model for today! As one last little thing: if you haven't you should totally try other races rather than just standard humans for your tarnished! I've got a half wolf for example. I also have one who lives in death, multiple nightfolk, and Tempest here is a Draconian! It can be a fun way to tie your build to your character's design. Without further ado, let's get into it: starting with padded and ending at plate. We, of course, don't need to do unarmored because I'm sure you know how to do clothing. The image descriptions will have the pieces in each armor set, as well as their Elden Ring weight class (unarmored, robes, ultra light, very light, light, light medium, medium, heavy, very heavy, ultra heavy, and oversized)

Padded

Gambeson and Particularly Thick Cloth

Leather

Armor Made Of... Leather...

Studded Leather

Leather Armor With Those Tiny LEGO Bricks

Due to there only being one studded leather set, this is the only example I made.

Hide

Armor Made of Thick Animal Furs and Pelts

Chain Shirt

Shirt Made of Interlocking Rings

Alright, so if you read my last post you're likely looking at the right set a little weirdly. I've been deliberately using chestpieces from the lists of armor in each type until now, so why did I use a suit of armor from full chainmail (briar) for the chain shirt. Well, if it wasn't already obvious, it's because it still LOOKS like a chain shirt when used in this context. The lists are great for full sets, but it gets a lot more nuanced when you start making your own sets. As you'll see throughout a few more types of armor, I'll be trying to use chest armor that's not in the same category I'm building for. Thinking outside of the box a little really helps, as the armor on the right fits for a Raya Lucarian Battlemage with the coloring and the mask, while also being heavier than the armor on the left.

Scale Mail

Armor of Metal "Fish Scales"

Breastplate

A Fitted Metal Chestplate, Without Much Extra Protection

As with the chain shirt, this set's right outfit is using a chestpiece from outside the breastplate category. As with the chain shirt as well, this is to show that you can use sets from other categories to make armor of a desired type. For example, here we used the bloodhound knight chestpiece, which is half plate, but basically any suit of half plate or even full plate can be combined with some light greaves and gloves to make a breastplate with higher defenses! :D

Half Plate

The "Greatest Hits" of the Superior Plate Armor. High Torso Protection with Moderate Limb Protection.

Just like with the breastplate, I used a heavier chestpiece to make the armor on the right. This time, it's a full plate set of armor to make half plate. Just change out the legs for something with only about half of the legs protected, and you can make the gauntlets lighter too without compromising the type of armor.

Ring Mail

Armor made of large rings on a leather backing

You need to get very creative to make ring mail, and use armor that can be mistaken for ring mail. There's no ring mail in the game, so I used the shadow militiaman chestpiece for this, as even I'd mistaken it for ring mail originally when writing my first post on this topic.

Chain Mail

A Suit of Interlocking Metal Rings

So you'll notice that neither of these sets use one of the three chain armor sets in their chestpieces. For the left armor set, it's because the surcoats are individual pieces of armor, which I didn't sort in my last post. For the right, I used the common soldier cloth armor as a tabard, in a similar way the surcoats are used. With the way the armor is laid out, it's implied that chainmail is under the cloth.

Splint

Metal Strips Riveted Onto a Leather Backing

I'll be honest, the Gaius one was a challenge on my part. Gaius's chestpiece kinda sucks to work with lol

Plate

Full-Body Coverings Made with Shaped, Interlocking Metal Plates

Those two armor sets above use chestpieces (and just primarily armor) from the plate armor category. I want to show below two examples where I use robes to make the illusion of plate armor

Both of these use armor in the first two sections to make armor that gives the illusion of plate armor while being significantly lighter. Sure, you lose out on the poise and defense that a plate cuirass offers, but you still get more defense than if you built an unarmored setup using these. This same technique can be used for basically any armor type, but it tends to have the most effect with plate and chainmail. As a quick tip from me before I wrap this up as well, use Blaidd's or the Young Lion's gauntlets to make plated armor even when the sleeves roll up on the robes you're using, as they have enough reach to hide the majority of your skin. This works even better when playing as a draconian, nightfolk, etc. due to their dark skin tones. I betcha didn't even notice the back part of Tempest's forearm sticking out of the armor on the left.

Conclusion

Welp, I hope that read wasn't nearly as long for you as the last one. If you want to see the first post, click here to see it! I hope to make one last part to show the fashion of all of my characters, which totals to roughly 16. I want to show their armor and explain what type of armor I think they're wearing and why. Just like this post, it'll also contain the armor pieces used for each one in the image descriptions! If you made it here, thank you so much for reading. This time, I WON'T be getting sleep because it's only 1525 and I have the rest of the day ahead of me, but I'll probably relax and play Elden Ring while I wait to see what the feedback is here! Goodbye :D

[mozzzz05]

What do you consider to be middle class and what are some characteristics of this demographic?

I’m guessing this is in response to my previous post about people shaming middle class individuals whose parents help them out at Uni. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to expand on this. The shaming thing is something I’ve been guilty of when I first went to Uni because it was one hell of a culture shock.

I, for example would consider myself middle class, I’ve grown up with a holiday most years, my stocking was always full, my dad likes to wear Ralph Lauren & it doesn’t make too much of a harmful dent etc

But when I met my flatmates at Uni I was honestly shocked for a number of reasons. Wales gives its students nearly 12k a year maintenance loan, this is more than enough to cover rent and food & the fact I have it makes me feel incredibly fortunate. My flatmates however, being English, got a different loan & they got the lowest one possible, 4.5k - based on household income. This wasn’t even half of our first year’s rent, I was appalled, even if you’ve got savings from a job, is it really another 4k?

And then I found out their parents were helping them, which I was shocked by (my parents might pay for rail travel if I’m going home, and I consider myself incredibly lucky that they are able to do that) Both flatmates parents were paying the rent and the 4.5k they had was left over for food etc. (Which was more than I had once you’d deducted my rent from the overall loan)

(One girl also had limitless access to her Dads bank account which shocked me)

This was something I couldn’t relate to, if I had to have the English loan, I would admittedly have a couple thousand more than them but I still wouldn’t be able to go to Uni. At least not away, I’d have had to go to the Uni closest to me.

Going back to qualities that may define the middle class - this is of course not the be all and end all because that would be ridiculous. But it’s the way you save money. If you buy Ralph Lauren it will last your years longer than something from somewhere like Primark - seriously my Dad has got shirts older than me. There are often wine sales at Tesco - you can get several really nice wines for maybe £50 that you might have spent £100-150 on otherwise (I’m not saying working class people’s priority is saving money on really nice wine, I’m not delusional, but it’s an example of the types of deals you can get)

This sort of thing - getting really good deals/ buying better quality clothing is actually a fantastic way of saving money in the long run (I’m not kidding when I say my dads got shirts from the early 90s - he has therefore had to buy far far fewer shirts- it’s actually weird to see him in new clothes) but it means paying larger amounts up front which is not something that is necessarily accessible to working class people. It’s one small thing (of many many other factors) that keeps people down but allows middle class people a step up. It’s the same sort of thing where you have the choice to pay in instalments with interest or pay up front - obviously the interest means you’re spending more, but paying up front is not an option for everyone.

(I’m aware I’m doing that middle class thing of - let me explain how I don’t have much money but please see where I’m going with this)

All this to say the class divide is incredibly complex, whilst I’m not working class & I’m not about to pretend I understand the struggles and complexities of that background, I also don’t identify with those flatmates (of which there are plenty at Uni) who you might consider upper middle class. I think, and I know I’m privileged to say this, we should focus our energies more on the 1% or people around that mark that run this country (still) that don’t have the interest in benefiting working class people & also widening the perspective of the middle class, particularly those who are ignorant without shaming them to the extent they feel the need to downplay their privilege.

(I am aware that there are plenty of middle class people who do this for the “aesthetic” or because they genuinely don’t see how a skiing trip each year makes them privileged, I’m not talking about them)

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Eps 9-10 Recap: Say My Name

Hello, beautiful people! As you may know, I already wrote a recap/master post for episode 9, and another one for episode 10. This recap focuses just on the stuff that’s relevant to team “Say My Name” -- so their rehearsal period and their additional focus/footage in episode 9, as well as their rehearsal footage and performance in episode 10. Just say “read more” and all will be revealed.

The Trainees

Here’s a list of the trainees in this group, and their ages, along with their rank as of episode 8 and their two previous missions:

Sung Hanbin - 21 1 / Love Me Right/ Tomboy

Han Yu Jin  - 16 3/ Back Door / Law

Seok Matthew - 20 4/ Kill this Love / Love Killa

Kim Ji Woong -24 5 / Back Door / Love Killa

Yoo Seung Eon - 19 17 / Very Nice / Home

The First Rehearsal Segment

At 23:20, we endure the gut-churningly uncomfortable atmosphere at team Say My Name for a solid eight minutes.

The editing is really pushing the drama, by beginning in medias res, with Matthew saying “Really? If only I knew, I would’ve been better off to join team Switch. I feel like you guys are ditching me a bit.” Then, crying, he gets up and leaves the room. No one follows him. Sung Hanbin’s perfect face is hard to read -- a mixture of sadness and determination.

WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED? 

We jump back in time to find out. The team is having their first rehearsal after T h e G r e a t R e s h u f f l i n g, and they need to redistribute parts. 

The team agrees that Yujin should keep the Killing Part -- Kim JiWoong says that Yujin would look yeppo (pretty) in the part. 

(Side note: They mention that Ollie was the other one with the Killing Part -- I’m sure the team never had the plan to let him keep it. Poor Ollie. He would have done great with it, for what it’s worth.)

The bigger battle is, who will be main vocal? Yoo Seung Eon, the titanium voiced cutie pie, says: “The main vocalist of this song should lead the choreography rather than showing off vocal skills. I think it’s about getting the feel right. I think Hanbin should be the main vocalist.”

Let’s take some time to let that sink in. Seung Eon, the lowest ranked on the team, whose major claim to fame, really his only claim to fame, is his voice, is giving up the main vocal part. And not just any main vocal part -- a main vocal part that is practically the killing part or center or whatever you want to call it. Why? For the good of the team. He interviews, “Of course I wanted the part. But I thought things would go smoothly if I just switch my position.” Aww! What a sweetheart.

So. Now, what part will he get? Does he want Sub-Vocal 1, with its 41 seconds of singing time?

That’s been Matthew’s position, and after a pause, Seung Eon says, “I think Matthew fits in that part well,” and agrees to take Sub Vocal 2. No one wants to have any more drama today, so the team decides to just go with it rather than have auditions or even discuss it further. 

In an interview, Matthew says, “I was thinking of asking [Seung Eon] if he wants to give [sub vocal 1 ] a try. But Sub-Vocal 1 is the part I wanted the most. I thought it’d be weird to tell him to go for it too.” Production asks, “Were you afraid he’d just take it?”  Matthew replies, “I was a bit scared because he’s so good.”

The comparison is so obvious and in our face that I barely need to point it out -- but I’ll point it out anyway. Seung Eon gave Hanbin an extremely desirable part because he thought that Hanbin would be better at it. Matthew was scared that Seung Eon would steal “his” part because Seung Eon would be better at it. Their motivations seem diametrically opposed.  

Later, the team is practicing singing the song. It’s becoming obvious that Matthew’s part is a bit too high pitched for him, and Seung Eon’s part is a bit too low pitched for him. 

Leader Hanbin takes time out of his schedule of taking care of baby bunnies to give an interview, in which he says that the parts were distributed wrong because the team was in a hurry, and he’s “not used to negotiating things.” Then a thousand daisies spring up at his feet, so he picks them and finds some lonely elderly ladies to give them to.

The next day, Hanbin is still trying to think of a non-confrontational solution to the problem (confrontation would startle the flock of white doves that flutter around his head!) when Kim Ji Woong suggests the solution -- that Matthew and Seungeon switch parts. I mean, it’s obviously the solution, if Matthew’s part is too high and Seungeon’s part is too low.  Hanbin asks them to try each other’s part, and it sounds so much better. 

Hanbin tries to sell it to Matthew, saying that Sub-Vocal 2 has more character than the “basic” main vocal and sub-vocal 1 parts, and Ji Woong points out that Matthew will shine more in a part that suits him better, which will be better for the team, too. Matthew isn’t buying it. In fact, he thinks the whole thing is a hidden camera prank. Everyone says it isn’t, but he doesn’t believe them. 

Oh boy. On the one hand, I can understand why Matthew would maybe think it was a hidden camera prank. After all, En Garde did that to Park Gunwook, and maybe Matthew heard about it and they do that kind of thing all the time on the show. Also, he wanted this part so much, it’s almost as if he’s going through the stages of grief -- denial and bargaining and all that. I can understand that. But it’s really hard to watch. 

As Matthew begins to think that maybe this is real, he says that he’d be "doomed" if he lost Sub-Vocal 1. He interviews that Seung Eon can do high pitched adlibs, and he himself cannot. He says, “If I become sub-vocalist 2, I’d just be gone! There’s nothing! I can’t do it! I’m just someone passing by. I’d just be like, ‘Hello.’” 

Here, Matthew is hampered at least a little by his comparative lack of ability to speak Korean -- he’s explaining himself as best he can, though, and I think his point is clear. He feels like if Seung Eon is on sub-1, and he himself is on Sub-2, no one will notice him. 

Matthew is again motivated by anxiety, which is completely in keeping with what we’ve seen of him so far on the show. While I can’t fault him, as this must be the most awful environment for an anxious person --- like, I want to reach for a bottle of diazepam just thinking about what it would be like to be on this show  -- it’s also absurd for him to be threatened by Seung Eon. Matthew is ranked in 4th place currently, and yes, that is a drop from where he was in episode 5. But oh my God, Matthew. At the second elimination, you had almost three times the voting points that Seung Eon had. And it’s not as if you’re going to win the audience vote in this song. You’ve got to know that Hanbin is going to win, right? He’s going to smile at the audience, and everyone in the theater will pass out in bliss and wake up cured of all disease, and that’ll be that. So why stress about it? 

Also, Matthew, sweetie, what on earth makes you think that the Star Creators at home vote based on how you do in the performances? If that were the case, wouldn’t Takuto have been eliminated in Episode 5? Wouldn’t Lee Yedam still be on the show? Listen to BPR-Noona, ok? You’re doing all this so the audience will like you, but in doing it, you are making the audience not like you. You’re creating this hell for yourself. 

Nothing Matthew does is unforgivable or anything. But I’m not going to pretend that this is anything other than what it is. I’m bummed for him, because if he had just switched parts right away, and been sweet about it, it would have worked out so much better for him. As it is, a lot of people in the audience are probably getting really frustrated with him for being unable to accept reality (“I STILL think that this is a hidden camera!” gets pretty irritating after a bit) and for being so selfish in comparison to the saintly Seung Eon. 

Second Rehearsal Segment

Ok, so let’s skip to 1:58:42, still in episode 9. 

It’s performance day, and Key introduces the Say My Name team. We pan the audience and see signs for Han Yujin, Kim JiWoong, and others, along with many signs for Matthew. 

Because it’s kind of fun to be able to spot the signs, you might want to be on the lookout for certain Korean letters/symbols. Seok Matthew’s name written in Korean looks like this: 속매튜 Or you might see it just Matthew, 매튜. The square in the first symbol of Matthew is the M, and the thing that looks like a skinny H is an “ae” sound, and the thing that looks like a capital letter E is the “t” sound. So compare that to Kim Tae Rae 김태래 -- you can see the M in the bottom of the first symbol, the T at the front of the second symbol, and the “ae” at the end of the second two symbols. And that’s your Korean reading lesson of the day! 

The point, though, is that the audience is losing its shit over Matthew, which serves to remind us that his anxiety is kind of unfounded.

The team is backstage, ready to perform (they won’t actually perform until episode 10, of course). They look anxious. 

We cut to more rehearsal. The team is sitting around uncomfortably. Matthew is saying that he wishes he had gone to the “Switch” team if he was going to have to do Sub-vocal 2. He’s saying it with a big smile on his face, which is something he tends to do -- say something like it’s a joke when it’s serious. No one else is smiling. Hey Matthew, I bet someone on Supercharger would still switch places. Go ask Woongki. He’d be delighted to be sub-vocal 2 on Say My Name. 

Thing is, smile or no smile,  Matthew is angry. You can tell. And saying this, when it’s no longer possible to switch, is clearly just an attempt to make everyone else feel bad. 

That’s an angry face, my friends. It’s not a felony. I’d be angry too. But he IS angry.

And then, Kim JiWoong, with his superior emotional intelligence says, “But Matthew, you need to consider the teammates you’re working with. I don’t think now is the time for you to do only what you want. I think someone who fits the part should do the part.” Oh my god, JiWoong, thank you. It had to be said. 

Matthew interviews that what JiWoong said hurt him, and I was thinking, “oh, because you realize that you’re being kind of immature and entitled and you feel bad about it…?” but no. He is sad because he wonders if they all “didn’t believe in [his] ability.” 

JiWoong says they have to think of the team. Matthew says that him keeping the part he wants is for the good of the team. Hanbin tells Matthew again, that this isn’t all about Matthew. And Matthew can’t believe that his friend has turned against him, because again, this IS all about Matthew, for Matthew. 

It’s hard for Matthew because he feels like he has no choice in the matter, but like, that’s how this always works. When you try out for the Killing Part or Main Vocal and the team votes for someone else, you can’t just decide “well guess I’ll take the part anyway.” And yeah, you had the part, but now you’re losing it. That happens. 

I am not being mean on purpose, you guys. I don’t want to pointlessly bash Matthew when he’s making kind of an ass of himself on an international stage. I’m going to take this moment to be profoundly grateful that no one was recording me at those moments in my life that I made a complete ass of myself. Let’s all be profoundly grateful for that, right?

Yoo Seung Eon speaks up, apologizing for not speaking up earlier about wanting the part (not your fault, Seung Eon) and just being sorry in general. Seung Eon’s complete sweetness gets through to Matthew, who is now crying. He says, “Seung Eon, you have no reason to feel sorry. This happened because you’re good.” 

The thing is that that’s not totally the case -- Seung Eon is good, of course, but the bigger issue is the pitches, and I wish Matthew understood that. Seung Eon doesn’t sound great as subvocal 2 any more than Matthew sounds great as subvocal 1. Keeping them in their current parts would be like choosing the super tall person to be on your baseball team, and choosing the person who can throw 100 mph to be on your basketball team. You want to put the right person in the right position.

Matthew goes out into the hall to kind of deal with his feelings, which is a good idea. And then he interviews that the reason he wanted to sing Subvocal 1 is that the lyrics were mostly in English, and he wanted his mom to enjoy listening to him sing in English. 

Argh, I am trying so hard not to be mean about all this but I mean, I can’t not know that this is a lie. He’s lying. 

Consider the following: 

Matthew’s first reaction on hearing he was going to lose the song wasn’t, “oh no, my mom…” but “I’m doomed.” In what world does missing out on a special thing you wanted to do for your mom equate to being doomed? 

Matthew said in an interview, “If I become sub-vocalist 2, I’d just be gone! There’s nothing! I can’t do it! I’m just someone passing by. I’d just be like, ‘Hello.’” That’s all unequivocally about wanting center time. There is no second interpretation of this comment.

Matthew is very close to Hanbin and fairly close to JiWoong at this point -- if this mom thing was true, he would have felt comfortable talking to them about it. 

Now, the “doomed” comment -- I can see one interpretation of this that isn’t just about wanting center time to avoid elimination. It might have been a reference to Matthew’s difficulty in learning Korean lyrics -- he may have been worried about having to learn the lyrics to a whole new part. But if so, say so! That’s a valid concern -- why lie? What is that? 

Another issue is that Matthew’s characterization of Sub-Vocal 1 as being “half English” is a massive exaggeration. SV-1 has one line fully in English (“can I be your boy? Can I love you more?”) but otherwise is mostly in Korean.

Here’s the complete lyrics that SV-1 sings (not including parts where they all sing or where SV1 and SV2 sing together).

Eeny, Meeny 이제서야 Your turn Let me let me know 말해줘 Baby 매일 아침마다 / 이미 우정엔 금 갔지 더 고민해 봤자 시간만 / 떨림이 말해주네 대답은 그걸로 충분해 Can I be your boy? Can I love you more? 네 주위 아무것도 아닌/ 애들도 난 거슬리지 Just say my name 늘 부르던 부르던 세 글자 Say my name 또다시 두근거려 시간이 멈춘 것 같아 / 떨림이 말해주네 대답은 그걸로 충분해 / 친구 말고 Love oh baby

Here’s the complete lyrics that SV-2 sings (again not including parts where they all sing or sing together). 

Just say my name, Just say my name 네 옆에서 언제까지 Yeah 해야 할지 남사친 그거  초코우유 나야 / 재고 또 재는 손 크기 그냥 확 잡으면 어떨지 / 어제 이름과 좀 다르게 설탕 한 스푼 더 추가해  / 네 모든 걸 다 기억 자신 있어 Come here 어제 이름과 좀 다르게 (Changer!) 설탕 한 스푼 더 추가해 (Special!) 이 순간 흐르는 잠깐의 정적 어제 이름과 좀 다르게 (Changer!) 설탕 한 스푼 더 추가해 (Special!)

They’re both mostly Korean. Even that line at the beginning of SV-1, “Eeny, Meeny 이제서야 Your turn/ Let me let me know 말해줘 Baby” -- Eeny meeny isn’t real English and having that be mixed in with so much Korean, your ear stops distinguishing English lyrics and sort of just hears sounds, with the “baby” at the end, you know? It’s not this overwhelming English sound that you hear. 

So yeah, the mom excuse is just a lie, and for me, that’s the part that really bums me out, because I want to like Matthew. I kind of naturally root for the North Americans, because I am one, you know? And if he had just said, “I’m so sorry and embarrassed I made this uncomfortable for everyone. I should have been more understanding about why we had to change parts. I don’t have any excuse, I was just so anxious about everything” -- if he said something like that, I’d forgive him immediately because again, the pressure they’re under is absurd. It’s natural to feel that way. Just own it. But instead, he lied. 

And one reason that I say that Matthew is not being evil edited is that the show seems to be presenting this obviously false explanation as true. 

Look at the screenshot above. He’s talking about how Sub-Vocal 1 has so many words in English, and the on-screen images are backing him up. What they’re NOT showing is the lyrics in SV-1 that are in Korean, which is a lot of lyrics, nor are they showing the lyrics from SV-2 that are in English. They show him crying while talking about his mom and they play stirring violin music the whole time. The show is sympathizing with him. 

I’m still not saying that he’s a bad person or that any of this is unforgivable. He’s a human being and it’s natural to be defensive and anxious and all these things. It’s cool if you forgive him. Just face reality, is all I’m saying. 

Anyway. 

Ok, so we see the five trainees doing their intro bit on stage, and as I expected, they’re clearly doing a high teen concept, complete with a school setting on stage and all that. But we’re not really going to see the performance yet -- we’ll have to wait for episode 10.

Final Segment

We’ll skip to episode 10, at 49:30. Key introduces the team again, and the boys come up to introduce themselves. 

We see Lee Hwanhee in the audience for a picosecond, holding up this sign:

I think it says “Ji Woong-ee hyung”. 

The team says they want to be your first love -- they’re team Say Yes!  Then Key makes  Han Yujin say “noona I love you” over and over and I want to call Child Protective Services. 

Then they ask Matthew about his rehearsal experience, and we go into flashback mode. This isn’t just a flashback, this is a flashback to what we’ve already seen -- the team explaining that he’s not a solo artist, and him going to sit down in a lobby area. The on screen captioning is again defending him, saying “he understands his teammates, but he can’t calm down.” 

Then the on screen captioning says “one hour earlier”, but I’m almost certain that they really mean one hour later, or else nothing makes sense. MNET, can you just tell the story in order and not jump around so much for no reason?

Hanbin gives his team a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies (baked goods spontaneously generate whenever he laughs) and tells them to take a 10 minute break while he checks in on Matthew, who is hanging back.

It says Soek Matthew on the left, and Sung Hanbin on the right. (By the way, the little symbol that looks kind of like a ^ symbol, that’s the S in Korean, so on the left that’s the S for Soek and on the right it’s the S in Sung. As a reminder, the square is an M and the E is a T and the H is an “ae” sound.)  

Anyway, Hanbin is checking in on Matthew, who he senses is having a hard time. Matthew denies that anything is wrong, but he’s obviously kind of sulking. They try to rehearse together as a team, but Matthew is still not feeling it.

JiWoong interviews that he feels bad for doing what he had to do, that he’s not sure how to treat Matthew from now on, and that this has been hard on him too. JiWoong has the necessary emotional intelligence to do the hard work between friends, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. Look, I’m happily partnered and am not looking to date anyone else, but my friends, that is some boyfriend material right there. Being too passive to the point that you can’t even communicate about what’s on your mind just allows things to fester. Nothing against Hanbin, who is truly trying his best and doing a decent job, but JiWoong is the hero of this story. Find yourself a person who can communicate like that. 

We cut to dance rehearsal with the psycho dance teachers, who ask Hanbin and Matt about their bromance. Turns out they never actually performed together on the show. Leader Hanbin shoos away a herd of passing unicorns, then explains that the group has been training for a week, but that they just changed some parts today. 

The dancing doesn’t go well -- the judge yells at them because the mood "isn’t cute" -- especially Matthew, who isn’t “managing” his facial expression. They try again, and Matthew continues to sulk. The dance teacher reminds them that they have to not let any conflict between them show on stage. They try a third time and it still doesn’t quite work. 

Matthew’s interview comes in like a voice over, narrating over the scene, saying that he feels bad that he made the mood like this and got his teammates in trouble. He says, “I realized that I can’t keep being like this. At this rate, I might screw up our performance.” Good, Matthew, good start. You’re on your way! Keep it up.  

The fourth time through, they manage to pull it together. 

Later at the dorms, JiWoong goes to visit Matthew. JiWoong is wearing what appears to be pinstriped pajamas. Of course he is. JiWoong asks if Matthew is ok, then adds, of course you’re not. Matthew is still held back a little bit by not being 100% fluent in Korean, so it’s hard for him to explain his exact feelings, but it’s something similar to betrayal. You know, that feeling that Woongki and Seo Won and Ollie and Takuto probably felt when you voted them out of the team? I mean, just sayin’, there’s plenty of betrayal going around, and it’s probably better to count your blessings.

JiWoong says, “I considered all day whether or not I should talk to you. In any case, I should apologize to you since the parts were changed [so late].”  Matthew says he understands why JiWoong did what he did and that his (Matthew’s) reasons for wanting SV-1 were selfish. (We don’t see any further mention of the Mom/English lyrics story.) 

JiWoong says he needs to be a good hyung (older brother figure) to Matthew, but it really goes beyond that -- he’s the embodiment of forgiveness and patience. He said what he needed to say and now he doesn’t hold a grudge. Next time someone pisses you off, think, WWJWD? And unless that thing is showing your nipples, do that thing. I mean, unless it’s a good time to show your nipples. I don’t know your life. 

Matthew commits to Sub-vocal 2 and begins working on the lyrics. They’re tricky for him, which backs up my theory that part of his issue was fear at having to learn a new set of lyrics. 

We see the team rehearsing and they all seem to be getting along much better. At dress rehearsal they do a great job, and Matthew is all smiles. The judges cheer. Matthew interviews that he has finally realized that the team is the most important thing. Good! 

Honestly, I really can forgive Matthew for all of this, but the whole Mom/English lyrics bit was really… icky. Just come out and say it, guy -- say, “I wanted the big part because I’m anxious because my rank fell a lot from 2nd to 4th and I’m worried that I won’t debut after all and it’s all I can think about.” That’s fine, that’s a normal way to feel. Sigh. But I guess he thought that the audience at home wouldn’t forgive him for that so he made up the Mom lie? 

Anyway, it’s finally time! 

The performance begins.

My take: Well, the thing is, I’m not really into this kind of song -- new jack swing lite, I guess you could call it -- but I try to critique songs within their genre, and for a song of this genre, it’s ok. It’s cute. It doesn’t grate or irritate. 

What’s more relevant is that the boys do a really good job with it. Their dancing is lively, their singing sounds great, their on-stage chemistry is convincing, and while I know they had an MR, I think a lot of their vocals were live and really, it was good. The staging didn’t compete with the performance, and their outfits made them all look cute. It all came together really well. The part where they all say their own names at the end is really cute, too.

I think that Matthew and Seung Eon did the best job in terms of stage presence. Weirdly, Sung Hanbin’s smile didn’t really convince me -- I saw stress on his perfect face, rather than cute happiness. He's still preternaturally charming. Han Yujin seemed to be holding back, but I’ve always thought that about him. And Kim JiWoong seemed a little uncomfortable. That’s just how they seemed to me and maybe I’m the only one who thinks that. I still think all five of these guys are super talented and I can see why someone would like them and vote for them. 

After I wrote all that, I showed the performance to my fella and asked him what he thought, and he said that he thought the “chaotic teenager” energy they gave off suited the song. He picked out Matthew as the best one, picked out JiWoong as not fitting in (he said that the rest looked like they were confessing a crush, while JiWoong looked like he was promising a good lay), and said that Hanbin looked really exhausted. I swear that I didn’t tell him about the tension in the group, or that  JiWoong was known for doing sexy concepts! He just picked up on that anyway. He’s not really into vocals or dance specifically so he was mostly judging based off of vibe. 

I *am* into vocals, and I just want to say again how good of a job I think Yoo Seung Eon did. In other performances, I found his voice to be a tiny bit too thin and screechy for my taste, but he sounded much better here. I think he’s quite a talent and I’d love to see how his singing continues to improve as he matures and gets even more training. I actually think he’s ready to debut now but I also don’t think he’ll make top 9, so we’ll have to wait for the Yuehua boy group coming in, IDK, 2024. Seriously, I’m so looking forward to it! 

Am I sad that TaeRae wasn’t the main vocal of this song? Yes. Yes I am. But I don’t hold it against them. Hanbin sang well, especially since he considers himself a dancer first. 

Congratution on your gradution! 

The Edit I think the edits on these five mission stages will all be kind -- we’re at the point when the show wants us to like every performance. Mostly they just show the performance, without a ton of instant replays or reactions, but they did have to interrupt a few times to see the audience losing their shit for Matthew. They even threw in a shot of Key smiling. When the song is over, they really dwell on the audience reaction. The audience is LOSING THEIR SHIT.

Afterwards  Backstage, the boys are really happy and proud. Then Key walks by and says “you remind me of me when I was younger,” which is probably a moment that they’ll take out of the memory bank and stroke like a soft blanket on sad days. 

We don’t find out who came in last, which was also the case for En Garde -- MNET jiggery fuckery again.

And who do you think wins the audience vote? Come on, take a wild guess! Was it... maybe... Sung Hanbin? Yes, indeed, it was -- with 826 points (so Haruto still has the highest individual score). It’s this Hanbin's first time coming in first -- he lost to Hui in Love Me Right and lost to Zhang Hao in Tomboy. 

Am I crazy, or does there still seem to be a bit of awkwardness between Hanbin and Matthew? JiWoong talked it out with Matthew and cleared the air, but I think Matthew and Hanbin need to have a similar conversation at some point soon, or there will be awkwardness in their friendship for a while to go.

And that’s about it for this recap. Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll see you in the next one!

[mariana-oconnor]

Wisteria Lodge pt 4

Last time, we left Holmes and Watson about to mount an intrepid rescue of probable inside woman and possibly dead Miss Burnett, who at 40 years old is apparently too old for love, because the Victorian era was an ageist hellscape.

I have come up with a solution by which Mr Garcia (who I have decided is a bisexual spy) and Miss Burnet are actually the good guys. But this requires the two girls to have been pre-kidnapped and so Garcia's plan would be a counter-kidnapping.

I mean, I jumped straight to kidnapping as soon as it seemed likely that the governess was involved and there were two young girls. I may have jumped the gun a bit, but weirdly the idea is sticking with me.

It was not, I must confess, a very alluring prospect. The old house with its atmosphere of murder, the singular and formidable inhabitants, the unknown dangers of the approach, and the fact that we were putting ourselves legally in a false position all combined to damp my ardour.

Psh, I bet they didn't damp Mr Garcia's ardour.

Yeah, that was a cheap shot, but seriously Watson, come on. Screw your courage to the sticking place and all that.

But it was not destined that our investigation should have so adventurous an ending.

...well that's anticlimactic. I was all geared up for a rescue mission! What am I going to do with these grappling hooks now?

“They've gone, Mr. Holmes. They went by the last train. The lady broke away, and I've got her in a cab downstairs.”

Did they go because of Holmes' investigation of the house or did they go because of whatever Mr Baynes' mysterious cunning plan is?

"I shan't forget the face at the carriage window as I led her away. I'd have a short life if he had his way—the black-eyed, scowling, yellow devil.”

A lot of 'devil' faces in windows this time around. And all on ethnic minorities as far as I can tell. Racist Victorian tropes, my beloathed.

Good for Miss Burnet for fighting back even when she's been drugged up to the gills on opium. I really hope she wasn't planning a kidnapping because I want to like her. And I really don't like her employer. Not drugging or whipping your employees is like the lowest bar of employer conduct to jump over. Even Violet Hunter wasn't drugged or whipped and she had a terrible work environment. I want him to be unambiguously the bad guy. Also because I want the poor cook to be acquitted.

“I was sure Henderson, as he calls himself, felt that he was suspected, and that he would lie low and make no move so long as he thought he was in any danger. I arrested the wrong man to make him believe that our eyes were off him. I knew he would be likely to clear off then and give us a chance of getting at Miss Burnet.”

OK, fine. You were right, but fuck you for arresting and attacking an innocent man. Poor show. Dick move. Be better.

(is that the first gif I've posted from an actual Sherlock Holmes media for one of these liveblogs? I think it might be...)

"We can't arrest without her evidence, that is clear, so the sooner we get a statement the better.”

Read this as 'her without' rather than 'without her' and was confused about what was going on, as she seems pretty innocent of the murder. But then I reread and realised that I once again fail at reading comprehension. Not like I have a degree in it or literally work in a related field or anything.

“Henderson,” the inspector answered, “is Don Murillo, once called the Tiger of San Pedro.”

Who the fuck is that?

OK, Watson's going to become Captain Exposition for a minute, great. Gimme some backstory, bay-beeee.

Oh... Is San Pedro a fake country? Did ACD make up a fake country for this story so he couldn't be accused of being rude about a specific country? Or do I just not know history?

Central America, okay, not the Caribbean, but right ballpark.

The dictator, his two children, his secretary, and his wealth had all escaped them. From that moment he had vanished from the world, and his identity had been a frequent subject for comment in the European press.

I feel... I feel like if this had been real information and a real country I would have worked this out? Like if I had known there was a mysteriously missing dictator from a formerly Spanish colony with a green and white flag, who had two children, I feel like I called every part of this except the specifics, which I couldn't have called because they're made up.

“Once already his life has been attempted, but some evil spirit shielded him. Now, again, it is the noble, chivalrous Garcia who has fallen, while the monster goes safe."

Alright, so no kidnapping, just assassination. Chivalrous, charming bi assassin Garcia is once again on the side of good and not abducting children. Pity he got his face beaten in.

"My husband—yes, my real name is Signora Victor Durando—was the San Pedro minister in London. He met me and married me there. A nobler man never lived upon earth. Unhappily, Murillo heard of his excellence, recalled him on some pretext, and had him shot. With a premonition of his fate he had refused to take me with him. His estates were confiscated, and I was left with a pittance and a broken heart."

Vengeance!

"I was to see that the doors were open and the signal of a green or white light in a window which faced the drive was to give notice if all was safe or if the attempt had better be postponed."

Light not shutters, but coolcoolcool.

"But they determined to get rid forever of Garcia. They had gagged me, and Murillo twisted my arm round until I gave him the address. I swear that he might have twisted it off had I understood what it would mean to Garcia."

How did you... not know... what it would mean to Garcia? Like, what did you think they were going to do? Have a tea party? Invite him to play his guitar at their next shindig? Have a chat about gardening? I get that you were being tortured for information, so there's no shame in giving him up, but you can't say 'well, I didn't know they would kill him.'

"This afternoon a good lunch was brought me, but the moment after I took it I knew that I had been drugged."

Also feel like maybe you should have guessed this before you ate it, after they'd been starving you for days. But you were probably out of your mind hungry and on the edge of hallucinating, so I suppose that makes sense.

It is a matter of history, however, that a little time was still to elapse before the Tiger of San Pedro should meet with his deserts. [...] Some six months afterwards the Marquess of Montalva and Signor Rulli, his secretary, were both murdered in their rooms at the Hotel Escurial at Madrid.

In the best traditions of these stories, the bad guys reach justice offscreen at the hands of unknown people. 😂

But Vengeance has been satisfied.

BUT, there is just enough time for some more racist discussion of the cook, because of course there is. And it turns out his entire inclusion as a character is completely pointless and a racist little red herring that goes nowhere and just had some extra racism piled on top for garnish. Wonderful. I hope they released him and didn't keep him in prison for assaulting a police officer/resisting arrest, because when you literally arrested him illegally for a crime you knew he didn't commit, that's bullshit.

I was right about it being a Victorian depiction of Voodoo, though, so... I get points for knowing my racist stereotypes? I feel like that's like an extra level of losing, though.

Wow this story went from gay hookup gone wrong to racist mess in two seconds flat, huh? I miss the simpler times when Mr Scott Eccles being an oblivious tory was the biggest problem.

On a happier note, Silver Blaze is next, and I remember a lot about this one just from the title, so I guess there will be no attempt to solve it, just memes for days.

ETA: That little wrap up does not tell us what happened to the children. What happened to the children? Where did they go? The little girls just disappear. Did I miss something? What happened to the children?

[compassionatereminders]

Hello,

I’ve just had this on my mind for so long and have no clue who to go to to let it out to so I hope you don’t mind me doing it here, just to let this off my chest. I had a childhood best friend, we grew up as neighbors. We’ve always been close, like peas in a pod, since we practically learned how to walk basically. I did always get the inkling feeling that she doesn’t see me the same way as I do. I was also warned of this by people around me quite a lot, telling me that she doesn’t value me as much as I did her and that she only comes to me when convenient. I refused to believe anyone. Until, she moved away for college….without saying a single goodbye. No hug. No I’m gonna go now. Mind you, we practically live next door. I didn’t even get a text or a call about it. On the other hand, she even had a goodbye dinner with her other friend that lived in a different city and even posted pictures and stuff. But she couldn’t even reach out to do so much as say goodbye before she left to me. I wouldn’t even have minded us not getting to hang one last time cause I know she was probably also busy packing to move. But if she could go hang with her other friend, surely she could’ve at least reached out and said bye right? We knew each other our entire lives btw. The type where people associated us together because we were always together. Nearly two decades worth of friendship, and she didn’t even say bye. I found out she left through her mom’s Facebook post…. In retrospect, I’ve always had a feeling she felt more superior than me in the duration of our friendship. I always wanted to fit in and be close despite our different interests. But I feel like she doesn’t value me as much as I thought she did. She would sometimes not even so much as extend an invitation to an event her family is hosting but would invite a bunch of other popular people she’s not even that close to. I constantly blamed myself, I thought it was because I wasn’t interesting enough, didn’t have enough similar hobbies as her, wasn’t as rich and popular as her other friend, wasn’t cool enough, etc… But now I’ve just come to realize maybe it wasn’t a me problem after all. But, although there are definitely things she had done that were not nice, there were also tons of times she was the only one that comforted me at my lowest and understood me the best. We always had endless things to talk about. Yet, I still always felt like she’s so out of my reach. I do miss her. We’re not necessarily on bad terms or anything, she just carried on living her life normally and since we are in the same friend group, we all still text sometimes in the group chat, but I don’t recall having a proper convo since. It’s also very confusing to see her just up and leave without saying goodbye yet still be wishing me happy birthdays and replying back to my texts in the group chats like we’ve always had. Because the moment she made the choice to not say goodbye and leave, I haven’t viewed her the same since. It sucks knowing that I’ve been mourning this friendship endlessly and been having a hard time moving on from this, whilst she is probably completely unaware and unfazed about how much impact her lack of action has on me. She probably thinks I still see her the same way (or maybe she can’t even be bothered to care anymore since I am of no use anymore to her). Although reaching out to her and talking it out may be an option, but I don’t feel like it’s worth it. If she doesn’t even value me enough to do this, then I don’t think I want to reach out and rekindle our friendship. Why should I be the one to reach out and beg for her attention when she couldn’t care less about me? Or am I just overthinking and looking too deep into this. Do you have any tips on how to learn to move on from a friendship that didn’t serve you well? I’m really sorry for the long message, I have been crying my eyes out and really needed an outlet. Thank you if you read through all this. I really appreciate it.

Lots of love

That's a really poor way to end such a long friendship and I'm really sorry you had to experience this. Even if you want to move on, some situations definitely call for a proper goodbye - and this ain't it!

[operationnope]

In a way, I love that we Ozzy girls are being reduced to a T; that’s kind of what happens irl too. No one’s right for everyone, so I guess this is a bit of “natural selection” (the good kind).

Anyway, back to what I was saying before and the reply you got on the post - I’m the anon from before. I understand why people are upset (as I’ve already said), and I don’t blame them for it. When I sent that ask, I was just sharing my own and very personal opinion. I know that a lot of people - most people honestly - don’t feel that way, and that’s okay. But I feel what I feel, and I wanted to share it so that we weren’t all being sad about what happened today, but also trying to share some positivity.

(Now, being okay with it, that’s another thing entirely, and I’ve never said anything about it).

And speaking of my opinion, I also feel like Ozzy not having just the CA kiss “to explain” puts things into perspective, rather than making them worse.

Because if it was just the CA kiss, sure, that could’ve still happened because Ozzy was hurt and confused, but the storyline would’ve been much weaker (even more so in a route in which MC doesn’t return his feelings). But when you add Ozzy’s problems with Grace to his feelings for MC AND his desire not to hurt either of them, that’s when you get - under CA’s uncertain and peculiar circumstances - a pretty explosive combination.

Honestly, that’s the point and that’s what Ozzy’s whole storyline has been building up to. If someone doesn’t like it to the point that they want to switch routes, they have every right to do what’s right for them and choose someone else (seriously, I’m not saying it to be mean, everyone should do what they feel like doing).

Overall, I think Ozzy really needed to get to his lowest point to understand that good intentions do not always lead to good actions. Sometimes, hearts need to be broken, no matter how sad one can feel about it (by this I mean with words, before things escalate). Now, FB’s poor execution of this entire storyline - and their need to add very random and dramatic elements - didn’t help, but that’s not on Ozzy; it’s on them.

I guess we’ll see what happens going forward, but really, we’ve been through so much worse - every Noah girl or general s5 player knows what we’ve been talking about. And y’all who stuck with Levi after everything, you were brave.

Ozzy came with a warning label. We knew his route would be messy. And coming off the last season, the writing has been… let’s say lacking. We shouldn’t be surprised by this. Believe me, I was surprised, but we really should have expected something like this from FB.

And I get all the emotions people are feeling. We’re invested in these pixels, for better or worse, and when they let MC down we feel let down, too. But this game/story is based on a reality tv show where things like this happen ALL THE TIME. And most of the time it’s worse!! As the MC of our story, we don’t want it to happen to us, but sometimes it does- in fiction and irl. Relationships are never straightforward; there are bends and turns, high and lows. And Ozzy has led us to a ledge. And we all get to choose if we want to continue or not.

So if you still love Ozzy, love Ozzy. If you think he’s trash, that’s ok too. And I 💯 agree- the Ozzy drama has been building this entire season so something had to give. Just like irl, when you push your feelings down, things have a tendency to explode. And it’s never cute. I suppose I should give FB some credit for giving him depth of character. Did his freak out have to be so massive? That was a choice.

And I am a Levi stan, I’ve played for Henrik and Noah, and I even liked Finn. For me, it hurts so good. But that’s not everyone’s vibe, so there’s Bobby and Bruno and multiple LI’s this season who are loyal. We get to give our pixel hearts to the pixel LI of our choice, that’s the beauty of the game. Then we get to see if they’ll hold it sacred or break it. And then we can replay!

Thanks for your insights, anon 💖💖

[zetaro]

Rambly lil post about some things going through my head. TW: depression stuff

When I was a kid, my friend got hit in the face with a basketball. Me being ever the 9 year old comedian joked about getting them an ambulance, maybe to distract them from the pain, maybe cause I didn't know how else to deal with the situation, maybe cause I was just being a lil shit, I no longer remember. What I do remember, and what I probably will remember for the rest of my life, is what they said next: "you can't help, you can only be sarcastic". and they were right, I was not helping in that situation. I don't think I had the tools nessicary to help. My friend was in pain, and I had failed to help them.

That feeling, and those words, stuck with me. At times, it lead me to isolate myself from the people around me. If I couldn't improve thier lives in any way, the best thing I could do for them is keep my distance. A lot of lonely bus rides home were the result of this line of thinking. Those words would play out at my lowest moments and worst of failures. "You can't help" became "what are you even doing here? You can't help and will only make things worse". It made me question my worthiness to even exist.

Other times, these words would make me into a door mat. "You cant help" you say? Ill show you, ill be the most helpful person this side the Mississippi. Id bend over backwards to anyone who I might be able to prove my worth to. If they needed a light I would set myself ablaze just to help them see. Needless to say I burnt out. And when you are in a state where you can no longer help yourself, it is near impossible to help others in any meaningful way. So we cycle back a paragraph and shut ourselves off from the world.

Even though i have grown a lot since then, I still find myself slipping into these old hats every once and a while. Id like to think that i am a generous person, something that I don't intend to change, but I now realize how there are unfortunately people who are too eager to take advantage of the kindness I offer. I also still turtle up in my shell when things get tough. If I am unable to help others, then I should be alone, or at least that's the thinking process. It's made asking for help difficult, but I am still learning and growing. And even though I really want to help others as much as I can, I now realize that I need to be solid aswell. It takes a balance, one that I am still trying to get right.

I think its quite interesting how little events from our past, seeming innocuous to others, can shape the people we become. I'm thankful for what my friend said that day because it made me want to be a selfless person. But at the same time, those words haunted me, and every person I let down that voice re-appeared. "You can't help". And you know what? Sometimes I can't help, and that is okay. I am trying my best to help however I can whenever I am able. And even though I will not always be able to help, I will do my best to try, and I hope that is enough. "You can't help" becomes "you didn't help, but you tried, and maybe next time you will".

So I guess if you are reading this then thanks for hearing my thoughts, I hope they were somewhat interesting. The takeaway is idk try and do good but if it doesn't work out then don't sweat it too much. Mission failed we'll get em next time kinda energy. Change what you can, accept that you can't change some things.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I found out someone I know who had anorexia had a lower weight than mine. Like a lot lower. And it’s making me feel like so insecure that they’re sicker than me and that I didn’t do it right to deserve to recover. Like I know in my head I was sick and that I weighed less than I should have but this person’s lowest weight was like a bit more than half of my lowest weight.

You're definitely not alone, anon, anorexia can be such a competitive disorder and it can be so triggering when someone else "achieved" something that we, in our sickness, wanted so desperately. But just because they were thinner doesn't necessarily mean they were sicker. Not that it's a competition to be the sickest - I've posted a few times about how you don't have to wait until it gets worse in order to deserve healing and to want better things for yourself. Still, it's important to remember that all bodies work in different ways. It can be hard to conceptualize this in your mind when it's been drilled into your head that fatness = eating more, but there are some genuinely fat people who have restrictive eating disorders and have been pressured to do a lot of damage to their bodies in pursuit of thinness, ultimately getting very sick without their disorder ever being truly seen. The fact is that different bodies work in different ways due to things like epigenetics, metabolism, other pre-existing health conditions, or the body's existing reaction to previous periods of food scarcity. That means that some bodies lose weight more easily than others, and it doesn't say anything about your quality as a person - sick or healthy - if you were not at a certain degree of thinness when you were sickest. I know that can be hard to accept when you spent so much time and energy tying in your identity to your thinness and degree of sickness, but that's not how you have to identify.

Anon, there's no "right" way to "do" an eating disorder, nor is that something you need to achieve. I know it's hard to feel that way, but keep gently reminding yourself and the knowledge will come more naturally in time. And just as there's no singular way to have an eating disorder, there's no singular path to healing. Your healing journey is your own, and it's beautiful because it's yours. Your eating disorder was yours, too, and it is valid. Your pain and sickness were valid. If it happened to you and it hurt, it was bad enough to count. But if you must frame it in terms of "I didn't reach the level of sickness I think I could have" maybe you could try turning that around into a positive? Tell yourself "Luckily, I was able to get out of the trap of anorexia before that level of sickness had taken hold, and that means all the less lasting damage was done to my body and mind."

Your pain from sickness was real, anon. You don't have to compare it to others in order to deserve your healing.

[leonsliga]

thinking of robert enke today ❤️ can't believe we lost him 14 years ago. I saw a docu earlier where he seemed so happy, joking around with manu in their last game together

My heart’s with Robert today too, as well as his family and loved ones.

I’m just going to issue a quick trigger warning for mentions of suicide here. The rest of this post will be below the cut, so if this is a topic that hits too close to home or is too personal in any way, feel free to scroll past it. There’s no shame in doing whatever you need to do to preserve your mental health ❤️

First and foremost, after a life under public scrutiny, I hope that Robert Enke has finally found peace. For as great of a footballer as he was, he was an even better human being; I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve read about him that all come to the same conclusion—that he was a man who treated his teammates, fans, friends, and family alike with the same compassion and care. He went through a great deal in both his personal and professional life, more than anyone should ever have to go through, but he always stayed kind. He always had time for the people around him.

I recently watched a video covering his time as a footballer, and the fan abuse he faced was unimaginable. One story in particular stuck with me: Robert suffered a 3-0 loss in his first match on loan at Fenerbahçe, and the fans threw lighters and bottles at him to “punish” him for it. After that, I couldn’t help but think about how much that sort of thing has happened (and continues to happen) at other clubs throughout the world. In our drive to win, we all too often forget that there’s a human being behind every footballer we boo or ridicule. Words and actions borne out of hate hurt them as much as they do us.

I think, in mourning the loss of a beautiful soul like Robert, it’s important to remind ourselves to always check in on the people around us. All too often, we’re fooled by seemingly happy faces. We take a smile as a sign that someone is doing well—that we don’t have to worry about them. Like you said, Robert always seemed so happy. But sometimes the people with the brightest smiles are fighting the bloodiest battles in their heads. Sometimes reaching out to them and simply asking about their day can make a big difference—can remind them you care.

For those who are currently struggling with depression and/or suicidal ideation, take it from someone who has in the past (and who’s had family members who have attempted suicide): it sounds cliche, but it really does get better. The best times in my life came after the times I was at my lowest and nearly ended my life. I know things feel hopeless right now, but you have people who love you and want to be there for you given the chance, each in their own way. Maybe it’s your family, your friends, your pets, or even people here on tumblr.

Depression has a way of isolating us; we often worry deeply that we’ve become “too much”—that the people around us can’t handle what we’re going through or wouldn’t want to, so we don’t bother. We burrow deeper into ourselves because we want to spare them the pain. I felt the same way. But the truth is, sparing them your suffering in the moment isn’t worth the cost of your life. And no matter how heavy a burden that pain may seem, the people who love you will bear it with you if it means they can save you.

On another note, I just want to say that it takes incredible strength to fight depression and suicidal thoughts, and I’m so proud of you. There’s so much courage in waking up every day and facing this messy world again. You are unbelievably brave, and I just want you to know that. And you’re not alone (I know, another cliche). You have a community here who loves and cares about you, I promise you that. We’re all fighting to survive this crazy world in one way or another, and you and your fight matter.

Let’s all take care of each other, ok? Oftentimes, just making ourselves available and giving the people around us a safe place to land is the best thing we can do for them. Let’s take today to remind ourselves to do that. You never know who needs your kindness the most.

I’m sending you all the biggest hug I can muster, today and always. I know that sometimes living is the hardest thing we can do, but hang in there. It’s worth it, I promise <3

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 29 Review

Originally posted December 8th, 2015

Suspenseful, compelling storytelling.

Great film and great television has the capacity to make you lose yourself in its story, and the best films and TV shows pull you in so deep that you quickly forget that you’re engaged in the act of watching them. They do this by combining sound design, acting, music, cinematography, and editing to engender empathy in you, the viewer, and when all the elements are working together properly, it’s damn near impossible to not get sucked in. And in Dragonball Z: Abridged, no episode yet has shown off these elements working so perfectly together as “Freeza Burn.”

“Freeza Burn,” story wise, is the end of the second act, which means that our heroes are going to be brought down to their very lowest; a moment of true desperation before the final triumph. As someone who’s seen this episode before and is pretty familiar with story structure, there was no way that Goku’s Spirit Bomb failing to kill Freeza would surprise me.

Yet as I was rewatching “Freeza Burn,” I felt drawn in to the story yet again, feeling that same desperation as the characters, and hoping that maybe this time, just once, the Spirit Bomb would work for them. And then when it failed, I felt the same dread as Goku and his friends; despite knowing that Goku’s about to go Super Saiyan and make everything okay again, I felt more threatened by Freeza than I ever have before.

All of this happened because the elements of filmmaking came together perfectly in this episode. The sound design is excellent: you can hear Piccolo scream “My glubark” as he’s being beaten by Freeza, and the Spirit Bomb itself sounds fearsome.

The acting is as excellent as ever, and LittleKuriboh makes clear just how much Freeza’s mounting frustration is taking a toll on him. Their music selection is perfect, with the choir chants after Piccolo’s death being particularly poignant (if anyone knows what soundtrack that’s from, please tell me).

The cinematography and editing (which are one and the same for this show) are excellent as well, and the few jump cuts Team Four Star is forced to use feel significantly more natural than they have in the past. All of this is meant to say essentially a single thing: “Freeza Burn” is the best episode of Dragonball Z: Abridged that I’ve reviewed yet.

Rating: 5/5

If you liked this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

Krillin: “Phew, how was that?” Producer: “That was perfect, Krillin. Don’t worry about your check, we’ll send it to your next of kin.” Krillin: “What?”

Krillin: “It’s time to get in there and throw down!” Gohan: “Really, Krillin?” Krillin: “Haha, f*** no!”

Chiaotzu: “They look like a bunch of queers.” Tien: “Chiaotzu, we just met them. You should make such rash judgements-“ Ginyu Force: “Tokusentai!” Tien: “Well we shouldn’t think less of them for it.”

Freeza: “If I’m really as evil as you say I am, let God strike me down where I stand.” *lightning strike* Freeza: “Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time give it your ‘A’ game.”

Krillin: “The spirit bomb is the only thing that can kill Freeza!” Goku: “Shut up!” Krillin: “Too scared!”

Freeza: “There you are again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don’t care. Care, damn it!”

Krillin Owned: 28. Damn.

[art-of-manliness]

The 15 Most Sobering Quotes About Getting Old

Over the life course, people’s happiness tends to follow a U-shaped curve; it begins to decline around the age of 18 and hits its lowest point around age 47 or 48, at which point it starts to go back up again. Researchers aren’t sure why happiness follows this trajectory. Our personal hypothesis is that after young adulthood, and especially in one’s thirties and forties, an individual can viscerally feel his vitality, his life juices, slowly draining away, and he grieves this loss. By the time he nears 50, he’s forgotten what the buoyancy of youth felt like, so he no longer mourns its memory. A depressing theory, I know. But it’s not a bad thing to view the aging process through a sobering lens. There are upsides of aging, and plenty of quotes out there that affirm its advantages. But around here, we find that reciting bleaker mantras to each other is actually a rather life-affirming thing to do.  A lot of people are fixated on how they plan to stay healthy and active into old age, and this is a great goal to which to aspire. But no matter how much stretching and green smoothie drinking you do, you’re never going to feel the same at 70 as you do at 30. Thinking about how vital you’re going to stay in elderhood, about how much good time you have left, after all, is a way of denying the inevitabilities of mortality — of escaping the responsibility of making the very most of the present moment.  The key to cultivating that carpe diem attitude is staying ever cognizant of the fact that old age comes for everyone, and always involves some loss. The following quotes can be a help in that.  This kind of reflection is worth regularly engaging in regardless of your age; after all, no matter how far advanced you are in years, you’ll never be as young as you are right now.  “After thirty a man wakes up sad every morning.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson “No snow falls lighter than the snow of age; but none lies heavier, for it never melts.” —L.N. Child “When we are young, we are slavishly employed in procuring something whereby we may live comfortably when we grow old; and when we are old, we perceive it is too late to live as we proposed.” —Alexander Pope “Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.” —Jonathan Swift “Nothing is more disgraceful than that an old man should have nothing to show to prove that he has lived long, except his years.” —Seneca “A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called old for the first time.” —O. W. Holmes “Age that lessens the enjoyment of life, increases our desire of living.” —Oliver Goldsmith “Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.” —Francis Bacon “Without fullness of experience, length of days is nothing. When fullness of life has been achieved, shortness of days is nothing. That is perhaps why the young . . . have usually so little fear of death; they live by intensities that the elderly have forgotten.” —Lewis Mumford “As we advance in life, the circle of our pains enlarges, while that of our pleasures contracts.” —Sophie Swetchine “Old age adds to the respect due to virtue, but it takes nothing from the contempt inspired by vice; it whitens only the hair.” —J. P. Senn “Old age is a tyrant, which forbids the pleasures of youth on pain of death.” —François de La Rochefoucauld “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.” —Victor Hugo “How many fancy they have experience simply because they have grown old.” —Stanislaus “Childhood sometimes does pay a second visit to a man; youth never.” —Anna Jameson The post The 15 Most Sobering Quotes About Getting Old appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/Swkb38

[ms-demeanor]

Look, I know I'm going to get an A in this class but let's pretend I was a brand new art student who had never held a pencil before and only knew how to draw stick figures.

These grades, this late in the semester, it's too late to save your grade if things are going badly. If you got a D on composition, a D on charcoal, and Cs on the rest you can't pull yourself out of the fire now. But if you had gotten back your grade on composition after a week with feedback and actionable suggestions for improvement (even things like "be sure to follow every step of the tutorial" or "see this video for extra information about sighting and perspective") you might have been able to avoid a D on charcoal.

I looked at the charcoal drawings again the other day (most of our assignments are posted in a public discussion board) and nearly all of the other students skipped the first step of the technique lecture - possibly because they didn't understand it.

One of the students turned in the conte crayon drawing in charcoal - I don't think she knew the difference between the two media.

We've got two weeks of class left. This is week fourteen of sixteen.

The last module closed on Monday at midnight; it's Thursday and whatever has come next hasn't opened. It might not open until next Monday, for all I know, and it might have an assignment that's due seven days after that. (That has happened before - there was a one week gap of no assignments posted between September 26th and October 10th and then on October 3rd we found out we had two assignments that were supposed to take a combined ten hours due in seven days) Why in the fuck are we having entire weeks with no assignments and then a week with two at once? It's not like the professor is slammed with grading?

If the professor had told us on Tuesday that we'd have an assignment due in thirteen days, that would give us two weekends to work on it. As it stands, I've only had one or two days each week that it's possible for me to dedicate multiple daylight hours to a project.

I just.

This is a fucking drawing class. An *introductory* drawing class. It's not supposed to be a source of stress.

Anyway what I suspect will actually happen is that everyone is going to get an A (possibly at lowest a C) on everything and the students who already know how to draw will get a bit of extra practice and the extremely motivated beginner students (there are 2-3 students in the class who are clearly paying a lot of attention and could benefit from some guidance and focused instruction) will learn a little bit (less than they should, though, through no fault of their own), and the less motivated beginner students will walk away from this class with their GPA intact thinking that art classes are bullshit and that art students are bullshit and the entire field is garbage that you have to have innate talent to succeed in because they weren't able to learn any skills in this class. And they wouldn't be wrong to think so in this class.

It's really hard to take my classes seriously when it is so staggeringly obvious that a lot of the professors don't take them seriously.

It's possible to get at least 95% in my C# class without ever opening the book or doing any of the actual programming exercises. The whole thing is based on quiz scores and you can take the quizzes an unlimited number of times and it shows you the correct answers after every attempt and then asks you the exact same questions - it doesn't even scramble up the multiple choice options between attempts. My professor isn't even using their own material. All the lectures were recorded by a different professor, who also wrote the quizzes.

The last assignment my art teacher graded was turned in over 2 months ago. It was still summer when I did that assignment. We only have 13 students in the class and it's not like the professor is reading essays or writing long comments on the work. They have only graded *checks notes* two of the eight assignments we've turned in. All of the lectures were filmed in 2020, as has been the case with lectures in nearly all of my online classes (programming lectures were filmed in 2018, and I don't know if that's better or worse).

These professors are more checked out than the students and it's tremendously demotivating.

A huge number of my classes have had quizzes and exams where all the questions were pulled verbatim from the textbook with no references to lectures. The answers can all be found on "study" sites because the professors didn't even bother to reword them. One of my classes was a political science class in winter of 2022 that asked "how many US presidents have been impeached?" And the "correct" answer was 2.

I hope my school just sucks. I really hope it isn't like this everywhere. Not even all of my classes are like this, but probably 60% of them are like this and it is making me nuts.