#but i had a lot of feelings and wanted to articulate them
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Nah man. All of these things are symptoms of a book that was badly written for its genre.
This reader's general expectations are pretty clear. Shorter chapters, shorter paragraphs, not a lot of infodumping squeezed into the middle of unrelated things. So probably a more commercially geared genre like thriller, mystery or romance. Probably the latter, considering it's booktok.
So when she encounters stuff like enormous chapters, infodumps in the middle of a conversation, and page-long paragraphs, she has the reading experience to understand - not necessarily articulate, but understand - that this should not be here.
Take the long-ass chapter. Kindle says it'll take her 30 minutes to read. If your average reading speed is on the low end for an adult (220 words per minute), that's 6,600 words. If it's on the higher end (350 WPM), this whole entire chapter is over ten-thousand words long. That is too fucking long! For reference, the average novel is 90,000 words. You'd have fewer than nine chapters in the entire thing if you had chapters this long. Unless the book in question is a quarter million words, this is frankly a sign of a badly written - and massively overwritten - book. Especially in romance, where chapters tend to be shorter (somewhere around 2,000-2,500 words; some shorter books will even keep them around 1,500). She might not have articulated this the way I did, but she feels this and that is perfectly fine.
Same for paragraphs. Long paragraphs are harder to read and follow, that's why paragraph breaks exist. The longer it goes on, the less information from the middle of it you'll retain. And if what you're reading is supposed to be an easy, fun, recreational story? Yeah, reading the beginning and the end of the paragraph is probably enough to give you the important bits, considering you'd probably forget most of the middle anyway unless you put on your Scientific Reading hat in the middle of a romcom. Who wants to do that?
And let's be honest, infodumping giant paragraphs in the middle of dialogue is almost universally regarded as a Bad Thing to do to your reader.
All of those things are fine to criticise. Just because she does it from the point of view of a reader, not a writer, doesn't make it bad or invalid.
Do they know that reading is not mandatory? Nobody is forcing them to read?
#writing#reading#books#the people who refuse to understand genre conventions#and measure everything by epic fantasy lol you'd DIE if you read Malazan standards are insufferable
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hey, i respect the hell out of you! i love seeing your posts, and i have your book on my shelf. i think there is a lot of overlap between trans men and cis men, especially on the grounds of queerness where that is relevant
however, i cant help but feel like any time trans men say "this is specific to us," it gets taken in bad faith. i think there are some experiences trans men have that are specific to them
do you have thoughts on ways to articulate that difference without being "toxic"? i tend to just say 'transphobia' to describe such experiences, but sometimes it feels like any expression of "this is different for me" gets parsed as "im special." im not sure how to navigate that tension, other than trying to be verbally precise, but not everyone has that skillset or luxury.
i want trans men and cis men to find unity, i just also want trans men to feel like they can talk about their marginalization
btw for clarity i am not a trans man, but i am transmasculine so i feel like i have a horse in the race
I appreciate the good faith question, thanks for the message.
What are you referring to when you speak of unique transmasc experiences? I can't think of anything that doesn't fall under the banner of either "transphobia" or "misogyny, caused by transphobia," honestly. Obviously the content of the transphobia looks different for trans women and trans men, because they are different gender identities getting invalidated differently -- but it's still invalidation, entitlement to our bodies, cissexism, lack of healthcare access, and on and on.
If you could give me an example of what you have in mind when you say "this is different for me," I'll let you know what I think. My general reaction that idea is that if you haven't had a trans woman's experience, or a cis woman's experience, or even a cis queer man's experience, how would you know that they don't undergo similar things? Lots of cis women believe that lack of reproductive healthcare access is a uniquely cis women's problem, for instance, completely oblivious to the fact that trans men face even greater barriers to care, and trans women's reproductive needs aren't even considered by most women's clinics at all.
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To add this this whole Jace discourse I just want to say this:
I am the result of an affair my grandmother had with a native american man whilst my pappy, who raised me, was in Vietnam during the war.
As a white passing mixed kid, i was not called names often. I was looked down on, i was treated like an outsider in my own family, sneered at with whispers spread behind my and my brother’s backs.
I have been called a mongrel only a few times but i vividly remember the first time it happened.
I was small enough that my brothers could still trick me into thinking i was adopted because of my pale skin and light hair. After a family gathering (of my Pappys side of the family), i asked how everyone in the family knew we were our father’s children immediately.
My brother smiled very sardonically at me and sprouted something about him and our other brother sticking out like sore thumbs. I was confused, because they knew i was my father’s daughter as well, despite how i looked. I asked why they ignored us and were mean and looked at us like grandma looked at the dead snakes in her garden. He laughed at me and said
“Guess life is just harder for filthy mongrels like us”
I remember that phrase so vividly. And maybe my brother meant it to be joking, but those words stuck with me for years. Stuck with me through puberty when i wore even PALER foundation and put blonde streaks in my hair. Stuck with me as i grew up further in a racist religion that specifically makes indigenous people out to be evil. I remembered it when i finally started interacting with more native people in college to reconnect, remembered it when a white girl told me that “if i wanted to be taken seriously as an Indian i should dye my hair black and start tanning”
Those words have haunted me for a long time and they have only helped to make me despise myself and how I came to be.
I hate being stuck between two things- i hate looking white and having all the unfairly given privilege it grants me over my brother. I hate how i am seen as a pretendian for trying to interact with my culture. I hate knowing i can never get tribal affiliation because of the affair.
I know i have immense privilege because of how i look, but those words still haunt me. Because at the end of the day, thats how i see myself at my lowest moments.
I know that on twitter there is major discourse about Jaces words and actions.
And while yes, this is a fictional show, Jaces struggle is one i am intimately attuned to. I said things and did things i regret looking back out of anger for my own situation, i acted in immature and childish ways. But at the end of the day, i can look back and recognise that because i lived through it, and grew through it. I was constantly confused and hurt and torn between differing worlds and families and peoples and it took me a long long time to come to peace with it.
I am still not fully at peace with it.
So- while you may criticise the writing all you want, please realise that Jaces hurt and anger are feelings that can be very very real for some people. Jace, is obviously a fictional character who doesnt have real world feelings. But your mutuals, the people who see your post on discover page are, and your words about a fictional character can hurt them too.
I am not saying mince your words and center your world around sensitive snowflakes- i am saying, have some empathy- even if it is for a stupid fictional character. Because maybe along the way, you can find empathy for other real world people too.
These were the kids that were made to feel like dirty mongrels.
#asoiaf#house of the dragon#a song of ice and fire#helaena targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#dance of the dragons#baela targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#alicent hightower#daemon targaryen#indegenous#native american#native girls#identity struggles#ndn#i know some people may think this was stupid#but i had a lot of feelings and wanted to articulate them#even if its only for me
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.
#asexual#asexuality#aspec#aromantic#aro#arospec#lgbtqia#am I wrong or no?#its like a sorrow on a frequency only other ace folk can detect#or say ah ha yes i feel this#this makes sense#i can incoherently ramble a feeling or a thought and others who identifying *get* it like it's a language we both speak#fluent in a common wave of ace-solation if you will#anyway just wanting to throw this out there again#i know i had a vague post similar to this that blew up but its always so hard to articulate the feeling#and maybe this will reach others that relate and agree to this that will make them feel less alone#wow these tags are messy and full of typos#lots of love to my loney ace and aro specs buddies#💜💚💜💚💜
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I think this is a very useful analysis that helpfully puts into words some of the scattered thoughts I've had, but have not been able to centralize, articulate, or otherwise had the spoons to offer post-election.
The one thing Bernie has not gotten and never gotten, even with all his Champion of the Working Class cosplay crusading (as a wealthy Vermont millionaire who has accomplished very little during his long tenure in office aside from repeatedly fracturing the Democratic party), is that a lot of the American working class see billionaires (as pointed out above) as aspirational role models, not evil parasites. Scholars can and indeed have written many long sociological, political, and analytical papers about the "What's the Matter with Kansas?" problem, wherein working class and poor people vote against their own economic interests in order to elevate grifting xenophobic populists whose policies only benefit the already-rich. For one thing, this presupposes the "rational individual" economic-maximization model of human behavior, which was popularized in the free-market 1970s and 80s, and has never been true in any meaningful sense, but as pointed out above: America is addicted to the "hard work makes you rich and billionaires have clearly worked to earn their wealth" mindset. They are equally addicted to the "temporarily dispossessed millionaire" fallacy, wherein if they too just Pull Themselves Up By The Bootstraps, that is the only thing stopping them from being equally wealthy. It's not, but we're still absolutely throttled by the "Republicans Are Better For The Economy" myth that just played a huge part in Trump's second election win. What's empirically "real" or not matters less and less.
Bernie's brand of faux-leftist populism is so toxic in America precisely because it pairs this apparent destruction of the American Dream (hey why do you want to destroy my chance of becoming a billionaire?!) with virulent anti-American tankie-lite rhetoric spouted by the online left, who see America as the source of all evil in the world despite benefiting enormously from their upbringing in America and access to American privilege. We can (and again, have!) written many, many papers about the founding and continuing social ills embedded in America: its establishment on the back of slavery, racism, genocide, and so on. But when it comes to day-to-day electoral politics, the average mid-to-low-information American voter does not give a shit about complicated historical debates and generational injustices. They just don't. They care about how much things cost at the grocery store and what the vibes "feel" like to them. After a brief upsurge of social acceptance in 2020 with BLM/George Floyd, they've also lost interest in dealing with systemic racism, and are inclined to accept Trump's easy-scapegoating rhetoric. This is not limited to white people either; witness the major gains he made with Hispanics in particular. The ones who are able to vote in presidential elections are US citizens and see themselves as safely insulated from Trump's mass-deportation policies because they're not undocumented (even if they have friends and relatives who are and who are very much NOT safe). They want to preserve their own piece of the pie and are not acting in grand pan-Latino racial solidarity. Nobody says they have to -- they can focus on their own personal interests just as much as white voters -- but they're definitely one of the communities who are in the soonest for a rude wakeup call.
Looking at the election results shows that America is, as ever, an extremely divided country. This election was not a landslide for Trump. The Republicans benefited from an extremely favorable map to pick up WV, OH, MT, PA in the Senate, but added no House seats and still have a tiny majority of about 3 (which may shrink further with special elections and/or unexpected departure). Trump got 49.9% of the vote; Harris got around 48.5%. The American electorate is not left-wing; it is also not immutably right-wing. It is primarily transactional, "what have you done for me lately," and cursed with low information literacy, sophisticated disinformation campaigns, and short-term memory that is worse than a goldfish. Abortion passed everywhere except in FL (where it needed 60% and got 57%). As ever, the public liked Democratic policies, but voted for Republicans to punish Democrats for not implementing them fast enough. That is one of the most maddening paradoxes in all of American politics and it fucked us good this time, but that's the twist of the screw. The Republicans also benefited from the post-COVID anti-incumbency that kicked Trump out in 2020. A lot of the scary things that happened in the last four years -- rising prices, ongoing threats to democracy, Dobbs, the wars in Ukraine and Gaza, etc -- were not necessarily Biden's fault, but they happened on his watch and contributed to the sense of visceral fear and threat that is always a better predictor of electoral behavior than the flawed idea of Rational Economic Maximization.
As such, despite the avalanche of "What Democrats Must Do Now" postmortems, we should definitely point out that Bernie instantly threw them under the bus for not being "pro-worker," when the Biden administration was the most pro-worker, pro-labor, and anti-corporate in recent history (and due to the electoral backlash it received as a result, quite possibly for a very long time). Bernie primarily conceives of the American working class as white people, often white men, engaged in customary trade-union pursuits, which is outdated and inadequate and reeks of the rancid "the left wasn't nice enough to fragile insecure white men" takes that are latently or openly misogynist. Biden did a hell of a lot to address their economic interests, and they punished him for it, because what is at stake, in their minds, isn't actually their economic interest (even if that's what is often used to describe it) but their position of unquestioned power as white men. They will happily give up the chance of better economic policies if it means continuing to assert their authority over other marginalized people; their lot might not be great, but at least they're still white. And indeed, still men. Bernie complaining that the Democrats didn't cater enough to White Men is, objectively, bullshit.
As such, I can tell you that one way that the Democrats can get back to electoral relevancy, which is definitely likely in 2026 and 2028 if we can get that far, is not by listening to Bernie. "Destroy the billionaires" paired with toxic tankie rhetoric driven by the online left competing with each other to be more extreme and unpleasant is electoral poison and that's why Bernie's chronic campaigning got him nowhere and fatally splintered the Democratic party in 2016, allowing Trump to win in the first place. It's a dud. The end. There is nothing positive or constructive in that vision, and while riding aggrieved populism can get you decently far, it also has to be a populism that's rooted in some idea of America, however shallow and lip-service. "Make America Great Again," despite how much Trump does to destroy America in every conceivable sense, works because MAGAts wave American flags and feel like a righteous and integral part of their country. The fact that in this election cycle, Democrats actually embraced love-of-country rhetoric, American flags, and appeals to fundamental "American" values, no matter how cringy and schmaltizily-nationalistic it feels to educated liberals, is an important part of getting that ground back. It promotes the idea that you can love America (however defined) and vote Democratic, and we can't give that up. Because then yeah, everyone waving the flag will be a jingoistic MAGA fascist, and people who like and respond to that imagery (which is a decent majority of ordinary Americans) will want to associate with them by default.
Likewise: a lot of online leftist/Bernie Bro rhetoric focuses on the magical revolution fantasy that America will just disappear and/or be Gloriously Overthrown and thus, somehow, all injustice from the tyrannical government will come to an end and we will live in a perfect utopia forevermore! (Uh, ask the Bolsheviks how that worked out for them.) America is an enormously flawed historical and geopolitical entity, but one thing it is not going to do is suddenly disappear overnight because of deranged Moral Purity Posting by so-called leftist keyboard warriors. It still matters how its massive power is used, and as anyone with a brain cell was well aware beforehand, Trump is only going to abuse it ever more egregiously. He will try to stay in office (if he doesn't die beforehand); he will pack SCOTUS with more corrupt toadies; he will do his best to wreck anything and everything that stymied him last time. He will undoubtedly succeed in at least some of that, and that is very scary. However, as I have said before, his total success is neither inevitable nor even very likely. If we are going to continue to hold the line and find victories where they come, we need to do a lot of things, but chief among them is not listen to Bernie F'n Sanders. He can, indeed, take several seats.
Bernie is wrong. He has always been wrong and is still wrong. The flaw in his theory is what he deems the “wealthy elite” versus what everyday Americans consider them to be. Voters don’t see all billionaires as the elites. They see college-educated liberals on the coasts, some of whom are billionaires, as elites.
Bernie-style populism didn’t land because billionaires figured out long ago they could undermine it by being socially right-wing, and the working class would forgive their wealth and privilege. That’s why this same demographic is willing to make it rain for grifters like Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson. That’s why they worship the wealthiest man on the planet like a God and consider him some real-life Tony Stark. People dismissed Donald Trump as a shameless attention-hungry New York oligarch until he called Mexicans rapists. Then he shot up to the top of the GOP primary polls. The working class didn’t think much of Elon Musk until he said “pronouns suck.” Then he became their hero. A scion of working-class Pennsylvania lost his US Senate seat last week to a hedge fund manager from Connecticut. West Virginia elected their richest man to the Senate after electing him governor – as a Democrat and later a Republican. Ohio tossed out their longtime Democratic senator, known for his strong support of labor rights, for – literally, no joke – a used-car salesman.
You can’t tell me the working class in America thinks being a billionaire alone is what makes one a “wealthy elite.” There are significant factors at play here Bernie is either oblivious to or purposely ignorant of.
In college, a professor once told me that Communism never succeeded in the United States because we are too religious and proud as a country. Religion, traditions, and culture were never widely discredited the way they were in Europe and Asia, where the clergy and nobility kept the bourgeoisie in figurative chains for centuries. The relative ease of social mobility made America unique compared to its Western counterparts. Historically, American progressivism has been focused on expanding social mobility – initially limited to only white men – to identity groups who had been denied it at the start: blacks, women, and immigrants. We have done it, with various amounts of success. While it may seem counterintuitive, Americans pride themselves in being the nation that pioneered the idea that wealth and status can be achieved through ingenuity and hard work and not just based on a lucky roll of the genetic dice, as it was in the Old World. It doesn’t mean we don’t have generational wealth in our country; we do, but since it isn’t the sole way to achieve wealth and power, we don’t care nearly as much about destroying all of it. Further, we will happily endorse it if the oligarchs and the aristocrats vow to promote and protect the social values we care about and the social hierarchy that benefits us.
It’s one of the reasons I believe Bernie could never beat Trump. If you ask working-class people what they want: an anti-immigrant, anti-intellectual billionaire or a Vermont socialist backed by kids from Harvard and UC Berkeley who hate our traditions and customs, the working class will always back the billionaire.
–Nick Rafter, "Bernie Sanders Can Take a Seat"
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hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?
GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE
Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.
I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:
Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?
We're gonna go in chronological order!
Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:
Aww. Such a cute elephant!
Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!
Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:
SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.
(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)
Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:
Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.
Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.
Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:
Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:
... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.
Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.
For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.
Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.
Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?
tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later
Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!
The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.
(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)
Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.
By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.
So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)
Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do
Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.
(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)
The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.
Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."
But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.
Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)
Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!
(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)
Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.
Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.
Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.
So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.
And look, here we are:
Aww.
Whew - that's everything I could find!
Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3
#dick grayson#anyone with more info feel free to chime in & we can crowdsource <3#i do think the toy elephant is awfully cute though <3#total digression but i was thinking about it as i was writing:#i'm fascinated by the ways that the post-crisis batboys & their stories can intersect with 90s masculinity and all its issues with stoicism#and i'm pro-queering and gender-bending - 90s comics were a total boys' club so i think it's neat that transformative fandom isn't#but i do love 90s masculinity and All Its Issues too & one of the things i find compelling about the dick-tim-bruce trio#& especially dick's place in it - is the unspoken hierarchy whereby bruce is manlier than dick & dick is manlier than tim#and so dick's in the middle as this somewhat softer-character who aspires to be a harsher & more stoic & ultimate manly-man character#caught in the middle between robin & batman & what each role represents#and like. batman is both manhood & the only desirable thing to be AND ALSO it represents this immense narrowing of possibility#because so much of stereotypical masculinity is about reducing the range of emotions you're allowed to have or express#and dick is both incredibly conflicted about bruce AND wants to be just like him & by extension is conflicted about masculinity writ large#so a lot of dick's interactions with tim veer between trying on a frat-boy-ish 'I'm The Manly Guy' persona vs. giving up on it#or trying on imitations of Bruce's Batman persona but also trying to backtrack out of it bc he doesn't like how it feels etc etc#ANYWAY i think what i am trying to say is that if tim had a stuffed animal dick would be entertained & poke mild fun at him#and call him 'teddy' for the next hour or something while tim got increasingly defensive about how the teddy bear was steph's#and/or about how the teddy bear was OLD and tim doesn't even care about it and also WHATEVEr i'm above this#and to an uninformed observer this might look like bullying BUT ACTUALLY#this ritual would IN FACT be very reassuring to both of them + tim would feel WAY better afterward than if dick had ignored it#because by poking fun at him dick shows he still respects tim enough to tease him thus subtextually exorcising the threat of wimpiness#plus allowing tim to defend himself & demonstrate that he can take a joke so they've both reaffirmed their masculinity to each other#& they don't have to be scared of the teddy bear and all it represents anymore#however also afterward dick would have a brief nostalgic flashback to when he was a kid & had a teddy bear & feel weird about the memory#because he would be unable to articulate to himself that what he misses is a past when he allowed himself to be vulnerable#anyway this wouldn't actually happen in comics but it's what would happen in my soul. you know.#ask tag#zitka
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Tim Drake has a weird fucking function
The thing about Tim that I find unique is that his life became SO MUCH WORSE after joining the heroing thing. Everybody else had a mid-to-shit life before becoming a hero/living with Bruce and mostly everybody (except Jason who LITERALLY DIED) had their life improved by being a hero/being Bruce's kid (or at least it is typically portrayed as such.
Tim had the exact opposite trajectory. His life wasn't perfect before he became Robin, but like...multi-millionaire/billionaire (canon is unclear, but he's within Gotham's upper-strata) kid with both natural intelligence + charisma and a bright future ahead of him and parents who were emotionally neglectful but nothing really beyond that (which is also a form of trauma, but all of the info we have indicates that the Drakes were no Arthur Brown or David Cain) and he still had other people he could rely on outside of them. He went to boarding school, which could be something horrible OR something amazing depending on your own thoughts/experiences. I grew up having a commute where we'd drive past a really pretty and rich af boarding school that literally everybody in our area DREAMED of going to, so to me the idea of going to boarding school sounds incredible but mileage may vary. Tim seems like the type of kid who would thrive in that though. Based on what we know in canon atm, his pre-robin life was fucking amazing.
And then he starts being the sidekick and working towards becoming Robin. His parents immediately get kidnapped and poison themselves through drinking tainted water; his mom dies and his dad is in a coma. This is not the fault of Robin, but Tim himself muses about the idea that Robin and dead parents are linked: to become Robin completely, you must lose your parents. And with how fate/destiny/canon events can operate in comics universes, maybe he isn't that far off. Once his dad wakes up, their relationship becomes strained as the man grieves the loss of his wife and realizes that his son has been doing vigilantism as a hobby. It is unclear exactly how good of a parent Jack was before the incident, but the results of Tim's involvement with the Robin mantle has definitely made things worse between father and son. Jack will also die within quick succession of 2 of Tim's best friends, his girlfriend, and his other father. He will also effectively lose like 1/2 his loved ones in the fallout of all of that mess including: his older brother, his other friends (both civilian and superhero), and the stepmother with whom he shared what I would argue is his best parent-child relationship (Dana also may have died, but it's left unclear). He has stopped pursuing higher education (the moment he even applied for college he 'died', and it seems he hasn't made another attempt since) and if he wasn’t a major focus of the media before he sure is now. He tries to quit briefly (in fact he initially was planning on quitting once someone more suited came along) and cannot bring himself to do so. Even when he does manage to get away for a while, his superhero life impacts the pre-robin life he is trying to go back to. Leaving is an impossibility, this is all there is for him now. He also isn’t allowed to make mistakes anymore, not when lives hang in the balance. The one who enforces that impossible standard the most (besides Bruce depending on who's writing) is himself. He’s got TRAUMA now and people want to hurt him constantly. He is constantly questioning his own sanity and morality and place in the world. He almost dies like every month. Tim grows colder and less grounded, he is becoming both a better and a worse version of himself at the same time. He’s saving lives in the same few issues as he’s setting up a Saw movie plot for the man who killed his father. He is haunted by the ghosts of his past and the looming figure of his future. His life becomes SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE after he becomes Robin. Some of it is the fault of others, some is the fault of circumstance, and some of it is due to his own actions. But basically all of Tim's worst traumas and life-changing moments are either tied to or caused by Robin. Dick's parents would still be dead, Jason would still be living on the streets, Stephanie would still have Arthur Brown for a father and a lot of other things that deserve their own posts/IDK if they've been retconned, and Damian would still have been raised in the eco-cult where death is a constant. Those are life circumstances that occur without the involvement of Robin, the only one who even needs Bruce involved at all in their series of events is Damian. But Tim? All of what is considered his 'worst' moments occur after he assumes the role.
This idea is what I find the coolest and most fascinating about Tim as a character. Being a hero is usually portrayed as either an outright awesome thing or a righteous duty that one must fulfill or (maybe in a grimmer and/or more grounded story) a sacrifice to your interpersonal relationships/mental health that is made for the greater good. For Tim, being a superhero actively ruined his life (both because of the general circumstances surrounding being a kid vigilante and the choices he made as part of that role). It's never portrayed that way in canon because we need to come out of issues going 'wow being a superhero is so cool! I'm gonna buy the next issue!', but when you just look at Tim's life literally everything really bad that we know of occurred after he became Robin.
#tim drake#batman#batfamily#Red Robin 2009#Red Robin#idk this is just why I think Tim is a really interesting character. I'm probably not being as articulate as I could be but it's tumblr so#I've had a lot of people say that they think Tim is the most boring robin. And I disagree because I don't think any of them are boring#but it is definitely the hardest to explain what makes Tim interesting to people with only a cursory knowledge#and it doesn't help that a lot of what makes Tim cool relies on his relationships with OTHER characters.#like you can explain why Jason is cool and interesting without even mentioning Batman if you really want to.#with Tim you need a fucking relationship chart and like 11 asterisks whenever anything involving the 'Bruce is dead' era is involved#so I just felt like typing up why I think he can really work as an exploration of somebody who straight up got WORSE after heroing#granted it's never actually stated because DC needs to make money. and tbh the closest we've ever gotten is Red Robin 2009#which I feel is dubiously canon at best at this rate. was it retconned? did any of it happen in the current universe?
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there’s been a big increase of ford hate posts around here hasn’t there
#sorry I’ve been seeing an influx of them and I feel the urge to kill#and like none of these people posting these posts understand fords character or have any media literacy#ford has been a victim to abuse and manipulation all his life and only really wanted validation and I feel like a lot of people sort of#ignore that#they also act like he’s a big bad villain to Stan when Stan was. Just as at fault#Idk I’m too mad to properly articulate my thoughts more but this had just been pissing me off#gravity falls#ford pines
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Beware of my own rant, because this post reached back into my mind and pulled out my adoration for Blitzstone and my own viewpoint as an avid supporter of Blitzstone's ambiguous nature.
Reading Blitzstone content like this always gets me trembling with some deep feeling of internal satisfaction. You have it completely correct, Aestophobia (or Summer, I mean). I recall an analysis post I had made about them, I believe making a connection between the fandom's desire for Riordan's confirmation of Blitzstone as romantic and a need for external validation of something (in a sense, that isn't articulated as well as I'd like it to be). I had detailed all about how there was no need for a kissing scene or a confession scene, or even any explicit scene which marks the two as "canon." For multiple reasons. For one, what if the nature of their relationship isn't romantic? Or what if it is romantic, but they don't prefer kissing or such? That exists as a romantic relationship, it's just on the asexual spectrum. A lack of kissing doesn't invalidate the romance. Or another, why do we even need such scenes to confirm someone's love for someone else, when it is so clearly shown, as Summer said?
I never cease to get frustrated when I remember how somebody responded to that post, in the most point-missing manner, saying that "kisses are fun to read." It makes me want to tear myself apart every time I think of it, because that wasn't the damn point. From my perspective, just that sentence had cheapened my analysis, and my entire viewpoint, to such a shallow response. If you like romantic Blitzstone, that's fantastic. I do, too, I think it's a really fun thing to explore. But there's so much to be learned from the fact that they aren't confirmed to be romantic in nature. There's so much room for so much else, and in reality, "romantic" is merely a label, and while labels clear things up for sure, they also limit. I really believe we all should be more open-minded towards how the author has truly portrayed them, and really, a lot of characters in general by a lot of authors, instead of viewing them through our biased lenses. That's completely fine to do so, but it has to be kept within fanon territory. Blitzen and Hearth canonically love each other any way, it's incredibly apparent. The only thing we're really searching for here is the label, which isn't necessary.
And then on top of that, I just want to add that a romantic relationship is built off of the foundation of a friendship. This is why romance is something "more than friends." But that also means that a lot of the love in romance is really just pure love you find in a friendship, too. Hearth and Blitz have a lot of chemistry, but they could, literally, be friends. Not "just friends," as they obviously have a deeper connection, but truly, romance isn't the only incredibly intimate connection out there.
ngl one of Rick Riordan's weirdest choices was not having Blitz and Hearth be married. like Richard they're married, they have more chemistry and are more natural and at ease with each other than almost any other Riordanverse characters, they're not made for each other's environments but they both have ways to get around it when they need to and they're both more comfortable mentally in Midgard's middle ground anyway, they're outcasts in their societies, they see the strengths and beauties in each other that nobody else does
literally in every way they're the couple ever
#aestophobia🌌#sorry I just had to agree with you there#blitzstone#blitzen#blitzen freyason#hearthstone mcga#hearthstone alderman#I'm not shitting on their possible romance#I just think there's more to it that we don't often look for
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im gonna say something corny but... the profound effect that living in a women-only house had on me was and is insane. it was (almost) completely by chance that only women ended up living there, but i think moving in with my housemates was possibly the best decision i've ever made. i genuinely wish i could describe that kind of love and community, but i don't have the vocabulary. all that i know is that it's such a privilege to have gotten to live in that house and to love those women and to get to keep loving them. they're my most precious friends and i owe that feeling of safety and community to them. there was just something very special about that house. i was very lucky, i think. i don't think people get to love like this every day.
#im having a lot of big feelings tonight#and i miss my friends#and my house and the way it felt to live there#and come home to them#i want to grip the world in my hand and tell them how lucky i am#and i KNOW this is corny#but y'all... i hit the fucking jackpot with them i really did#and i WISH i had the words to articulate it#if i ever write one beautiful thing.. please let it be about them#vent
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managing both star rail and genshin when one receives a brand new update and the other hosts the main event is extremely tiring for me nowadays. i love meeting old characters, but ever since genshin stopped adding important lore to the events, i don’t feel like i’m missing out on anything if i just skim through the dialogues — it’s just characters interacting in wholesome ways, but barely anything new.
the abundance of text that isn’t really necessary takes just so much time to digest, and i feel like it used to be easier to complete the quests in one go in the past… or at least it used to be more engaging if contained lore drops. i don’t have any opinions on star rail quest yet, it’s not bad, but also i’m not particularly interested in characters involved. i have never been too fond of the cringe comedy part of penacony, anyway, but that is just my personal take.
#—gaming.#i understand why there’s no more lore-focused events — but what’s stopping them from adding the replay option then?#i don’t want to ‘waste’ precious event time just because they can’t implement this function#events used to be fun AND interesting but now i feel like they only cater to those interested in certain involved characters and not—#—not overall in genshin story (or like make someone interested in these characters if they had COOL role to play)#i hope i can articulate my thoughts properly although i should be going to sleep and i might be a bit tired#anyway i have lots to say on this topic because it is not me being burnt out — it’s genshin changing its pattern for one i sadly dislike
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I'm starting to reread unstrictly ballroom and I do really like this one for the finale but I maintain making wwx a stripper in the backstory as the reason for his disgrace and banishment from the world of professional dance doesn't actually make any sense when compared against his canon reasons for his exile from the cultivation world...like it IS unconventional and harshly punished by conservative/conventional society but ultimately it's something he's individually doing for fun/artistry, not something he's butting heads with authority figures in order to save people's lives for. or in a lower-stakes setting like this, it could be saving people's livelihoods.
like the moral aspect of his alienation from the mainstream isn't rly an aspect and the author seemingly just wanted to write him as a stripper for fun. which is fine but it's missing. the THEMES
#same as the one that made him make an OF#like sure now he's marginalized for this specific reason but it's nkt really why he was shut out from society in canon#classism was part of it but also he was uncontrollable and the sect leaders wanted his power#and he defied them by saving political prisoners against which many people had sworn blood feuds#it's hard to articulate this. I feel like fic authors really like victimizing wwx in ways that aren't faithful to his actual goals#or motivations. bc THEIR main goal is to just have a love interest to be victimized for ansgt or drama or what have you#the OF au was written by an actual swer so I'm excluding that one from this generalization but a LOT of fics do this imo#ficblogging
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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.
Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!
Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...
I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm
Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.
Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.
“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.
She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store.
Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore.
“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.
It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”
She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath.
Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.
She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.
Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her.
So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death.
“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno.
“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying.
At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”
Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.
“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”
The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.
But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.
Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well?
At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe.
“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#yuno kashiki#amane and fuuta mentioned#i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk#i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that#anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0#drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result#i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together#the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices#im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd#i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared#but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off#not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky#i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon#and *shes* the odd one out for craving company#then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else#i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles
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Been thinking about my body a lot
#Sel talks#Listened through Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith which talked a lot about how bodies are tools#And the way she talked about how thin-ness shouldn't be something we strive for#And I can't help but draw parallels between my own desire to go on t? I don't know. Been having too many thoughts stewing#I keep coming back to isabeau's line of “maybe it was easier to change into someone I could love than to learn how to love how I was”#And I had drawn both hrt and diet culture back into this; but. Neither of them are from self love?#It's. Idk; a friction? On how you perceive yourself and how the world perceives you?#Or. Idk idk. It's hard to articulate now that I'm trying to get it down#If I remember right; one of the messages of fat talk was how bodies should be for function first and foremost; and should hardly-if ever-#Considered for aesthetic. And yes- trying to loose weight is one of the most damaging aesthetic changes you can do-#Idk! I feel like I'm looking too far into it#Something something you're not happy with how your body looks/is perceived so you want to change it#Whether that's influenced by society; loved ones; or something biological; it's still a desire to change your body#Although one is vastly more accepted than the other#Trying to become thin is trying to make yourself more comfortable in a vastly fatphobic world; to placate the people think they have say#Over your body; make yourself more palettable to the world around you.#Which I guess is an important distinction#Becoming the person you want to be even through everyone telling you that it's wrong or disgusting#But a part of me can't help but think a part of the reason I want to do hrt might have something to do with our male centric society?#I'm too tired to elaborate any further but I feel less busy now that I have it out
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absolutely spoken like someone whose career in piracy ended (possibly very recently) because his boatswain, lover, and partner in warlock shenanigans tried to ritually murder him after she identified his distrustful hesitation and disillusioned exhaustion and considered it weakness and cowardice
#Vandran has so many emotional problems. It's amazing.#Is he giving the best advice to Fjord? No. Do I see absolutely where he is coming from? Yes. Is this actually stuff Fjord needed? Also yes.#It gave Fjord new and exciting emotional problems but.... was Vandran wrong lmfao?#Fjord did very much want to learn and did greatly benefit from many of these things even as he had to unpack and unlearn parts of them.#He did very much benefit from being able to control whether and how other people saw him.#And while what Vandran taught him developed a struggle with vulnerability in Fjord—it did help Fjord a lot to learn to hold his guard.#It's a..... super complicated thing really.#It wasn't always good and Fjord did need to let go of parts of it. But it served Fjord at the time in a way he desperately needed.#(Like trying to stop someone from bleeding out and being less concerned about whether the wound will heal pretty. As long as it closes.)#(Aabria voice: Nature heals and sometimes it heals a little stupid but it does heal.)#As immensely flawed as these lessons were they enabled Fjord to find his footing and stability and build a foundational sense of himself.#That allowed him in turn to continue to grow in a way that let him let go of these things as well. Like outgrowing your coping mechanisms.#And I feel like this comic underscores and articulates all of that very clearly. Stepping stones.#Anyway this post is about Vandran who also has massive emotional issues bc yanno his girlfriend tried to murder him for ~weakness~#Critical Role things#MNO spoilers
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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