#bradley beans

[chr0macide]

background practice idk

i sure hope nobody snatches them

edit because multiple people have asked: you can use any of my art for personal stuff like wallpapers, you don’t have to ask me. But if you use it for something public like a web banner/video/etc. ask me about it first

[pawzmo]

maid bradley for my son @kartywarty

[pandalikeelf]

bradley james dying in historical dramas: a trilogy 

[verilyproductions]

Ruby Redfort Screen Adaptation Ideas

• Bradley Baker is HOT

• The rules are episode titles

• No romance between Ruby and Clancy

• The iconic pair that are Ruby’s parents

• Foreshadowing for LB’s backstory

• More and more elaborate ways into spectrum (like Perry the Platypus in Phineas and Ferb)

• Advert for Choco Puffs with the secret codes hidden in it in commercial breaks

• The cinematic drama that is Ruby being dug out by Mrs Digby

Please reblog with more ideas (if you don’t mind me using them for the screenplay I want to write for fun!)

[who-do-i-know-this-man-s3]

⚠️Vote for whomever YOU DO NOT KNOW⚠️‼️

[sometimesanalice]

I have attempted to make the Mustache Man™️. Let’s all agree to pretend those sunglasses don’t look like swim goggles.

[filmreveries]

Medici the Magnificent (2016-2019)

[lovelove-lovelife]

Me Attempting to make a pirate accurate menu for this chapter- Im getting away with a Lot thru the time honored tradition of fermentation!

[witchmd13]

Vikings Valhalla spoilers.

I feel like I probably should be a little more surprised that Bradley dies in this

[barrenceallence]

I can’t stop thinking about the way Kyle talks about Bradley. Like there’s knowing there’s not meant to be any gay rep in this game from 2005, and then just reading the text and clearly finding a guy who’s definitely in love with his traitor partner. Partner. Like how else am I supposed to read ‘it’s not hate. I never hated him.’ Like. ALL THOSE COPIOUS ELLIPSIS. the way Ed literally dances around what Bradley really means to Kyle. Bro.

[hangmanbradshaw]

Omg, as protective as you want! I have sooo many thoughts. Maybe we see some more pap harassment or crazy-football-fan-turned-hater-because-homophobia insulting Jake in public and Bradley standing up for him. All I’m saying is I wouldn’t be upset if someone threw a punch 🤷‍♀️

I'm like Grease over here, tell me more, tell me more haha. So many options. When I was outlining I was like omg how do I choose. It's been a lot of build up and fluff, but at some point, something's gotta give, right?

Also.............take this reaction as you will ;)

[chr0macide]

this is stupid

[sugarcoated-lame]

‘But he also wanted to stay the night and have you sleep in his arms. He wanted to make you breakfast the next morning, and go to the park with you and Ev again. He wanted to do everything, and it was unfamiliar territory. If nothing else, maybe finally getting that physical intimacy with you would make everything else his heart was feeling make a little more sense. Or at least be less scary.’

‘This was nice. Bradley really liked this. Throw Nat into the mix, and this could become something he would enjoy doing every week.’

Once again I am swooning, it’s clear how much he cares and wants both Kitten and Everett in his life, Bradley is so gone for her already 🥹 and he better not let himself fuck it up because he’s scared 😭

And Bradley deciding to join the rec league because he knows it’ll make Everett happy (Bob really knew what he was doing asking about it in front of Ev lol), and agreeing to go to career day at Ev’s school like it’s nothing !!! My heart can’t take it 🥹🫶🏼

‘He liked to think that you knew more about baseball now because of him. He was itching to take you back to the batting cages again. Maybe have sex in the Bronco afterwards.’

Oh, please tell me this is foreshadowing 👀👀

‘"I would never let you live it down. I'd still be telling you about it ten years from now," he said before realizing the implications of that particular sentence.’

He’s already thinking about her being in his life 10 years down the line !!! 😭😭😭😭

And I can’t even be too upset about Bradley being stuck in Lemoore when the phone sex is that hot, good lord 😵‍💫😵‍💫 between the teasing at dinner, the naughty photos, all the flirty banter and the phone sex I need to lie down 🫠 all the build-up and the tension is just so good and idk how I’m gonna survive when we actually get to the real thing but Bradley needs to get his ass back to San Diego immediately !! 💜💜

Batting Practice Part 11 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: The group outing for pizza leaves Bradley thinking about a life he never knew he wanted, and it makes going away for the week even harder. You offer to fill in as assistant coach for the week, and Bradley finds that extremely attractive. Then a very revealing phone call has Bradley ready to make you his.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing

Length: 4400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female single!mom Reader

Check my masterlist for more Top Gun fun!

When Bradley parked at the pizza place, his body was still humming from your touch, and he was beyond irritated about having to go up to Lemoore. All he really wanted to do was let his baser instincts take over and finally get you alone again and get his hands all over you this weekend. 

But he also wanted to stay the night and have you sleep in his arms. He wanted to make you breakfast the next morning, and go to the park with you and Ev again. He wanted to do everything, and it was unfamiliar territory. If nothing else, maybe finally getting that physical intimacy with you would make everything else his heart was feeling make a little more sense. Or at least be less scary.

He followed you and Everett inside the packed restaurant with his hand at your lower back. Bradley was afraid his grin would be permanently stuck on his face at the sight of your son clutching tightly to his stuffed Phanatic. After Bradley had witnessed Everett in tears earlier in the week because of Danny, he just wanted to do something special for the kid. 

"Over here!" Molly called, and as she popped up out of her chair, Bradley couldn't help but notice that she had her hand resting on Bob's shoulder. And that Bob was looking at her longingly. Of course Molly was pretty; she looked like Kitten. But Bradley knew Bob pretty well by now, and he knew Bob would never be interested in a woman only based on her physical appearance. So there was definitely something else drawing him to her. 

"Only four chairs?" you asked as the three of you neared the table. 

"Yeah, it's packed in here. We're lucky we even got a table," Molly confirmed. "Ev can just take turns sitting on our laps, and I get him first!"

Bradley pulled out one of the remaining chairs for you, and then he sat across from Bob. "What kind of pizza do you want, Ev?" he asked while Molly blew a raspberry on her nephew's neck. 

"Cheese!" he squealed in response. Bradley could feel your hand come to rest on his thigh, the warmth permeating the gym shorts he was wearing. When the waiter finally came over, Bradley listened to you order an extra large cheese pizza and breadsticks along with a pitcher of beer for the adults and an apple juice for Everett. 

"Hey, Coach Bob, do you like the Phillies, too?" Everett asked, still hugging his newest possession. 

"I'm a Colorado Rockies fan," Bob replied, smiling at Everett. 

He seemed to accept that answer, but then his brow scrunched up. "No offense, but I'm happy my mom likes Coach Bradley, because the Phillies are cooler than the Rockies."

You and Molly were both nearly erupting with silent laughter, and Bradley could not contain his grin.

"That's okay," Bob agreed with a laugh. "I'm happy your mom likes Coach Bradley, too. It's not easy, but somebody has to do it."

"Low blow," Bradley groaned, turning to look at you. You let your hand inch higher on his leg. 

You just shrugged and smiled at him. "It's not that terrible."

Bradley kept both hands on the table and tried to hide his smirk as you rubbed your palm against his inner thigh. When the drinks arrived, Bob poured everyone a beer, and Bradley drank half of his in one go. You were teasing him. You did it all the time, and you were fucking good at it. 

"Kitten," he rasped when your fingers grazed his cock, and he knew if you kept this up, it would be a problem.

"Hmm?" you hummed, looking at him like the picture of innocence. He glanced across the table to see that Bob and Everett were playing tic tac toe on the paper tablecloth with crayons. 

Bradley leaned down and kissed you softly and then pressed his lips to your ear. "You need to be a good girl until I can get you alone for a few hours. Then you can be as poorly behaved as you want, Kitten."

You moaned. You actually fucking moaned, and now Bradley was a little hard. "Okay, Coach."

Fuck. The things he wanted to do to you, if you let him. He shouldn't be thinking about this during dinner with them right across the table, but he was. He was thinking about his lips all over you. He was thinking about covering your mouth with his hand to keep you quiet as you screamed for him. He was thinking about how hard you made him when you came apart on his lap in the front seat of the Bronco with your nipple in his mouth. 

Everett bounded around the table when the pizza arrived, and Bradley had to start serving everyone so Ev would choose your lap instead of his. He took a few deep breaths and even cut Everett's slice in half to make it easier for him to eat. 

When he had everything under control again, he took a bite of his slice of pizza and looked around the table. You were telling Molly and Bob about something that happened to you at work, and Everett was drawing the Phillies P on the table covering while he nibbled on his food. This was nice. Bradley really liked this. Throw Nat into the mix, and this could become something he would enjoy doing every week. 

After a while, Everett ended up sitting on Bradley's lap, and he got everyone to agree to order chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Bradley ate a cookie while he tried his best to draw the Phanatic on the tablecloth while Everett held the stuffed one for him to look at. 

"Coach!" he said with a laugh. "You drew his face all crooked! He looks silly!"

"You know what, how about I stick to showing you pitches instead of drawing for you," Bradley said while he tickled Everett's sides and made him laugh harder. 

"Everett, tell him to join the Navy rec league for baseball," Bob said, and Bradley noticed that he had his arm draped across the back of Molly's chair. "Then you can watch him and I play all summer."

Everett's eyes went wide. "You could be a pitcher! Or a shortstop!"

"Yeah, we would let him pick whichever position he wanted to play," Bob added, goading Everett on.

Bradley smiled at Everett. "Would that be fun for you? Coming to games with your mom? And maybe your Aunt Molly, too?" Bradley raised his eyebrow at Molly who was now leaning into Bob just the slightest bit as she ate a cookie.

"Yes! Mom, can we go watch Coach Bradley and Coach Bob play baseball in the summer?" 

You leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Sure, Ev. If they play, we can go."

Bradley decided he would join the rec league.

-----------------------

You watched Bradley and Bob split the bill, and no matter how much you and Molly complained, they would not let either of you pay. Molly was leaning across Bob, trying to take his wallet out of his hand, and you couldn't remember seeing her smile this much around anyone she dated before. And Bob was just as bad, if not worse. His cheeks had been tinged with a little bit of pink all night, and anytime she looked at him for more than a few seconds, the shade of pink got darker. 

"Thanks for dinner," you told Bradley and Bob. "We appreciate it."

"No problem," Bradley replied, scooping Everett up for a piggyback ride out to your car. Your heart was melting. You would be a puddle of goo soon if he kept this up. He was somehow making you fall for him through his interactions with Ev.

"I'll call you tomorrow," you told your sister in the darkening parking lot as she and Bob both headed for her car, since she conveniently drove him to the restaurant. 

Then you caught up with Bradley when he was next to your car, and you heard Everett asking him, "Hey, Coach Bradley?"

"Kiddo, you don't have to call me Coach unless we're at tee ball."

"You don't like being called Coach?"

"No, I do. But you can just call me Bradley if you want to."

Everett was already so attached to him, and you wanted him in every way imaginable. 

"Okay, Bradley. Will you come to career day at my school and talk about being a pilot?" Everett said before climbing in the backseat. "You're allowed to bring two people, and Aunt Molly has to work and my mom has a boring job."

"Hey!" you complained, also kind of surprised Ev was inviting Bradley to come without mentioning it to you first.

"You do, Mom," Everett added, turning to you. 

Bradley cleared his throat and patted him on the head. "Sure, kiddo. If you want me there, I'll come."

It was that simple. You couldn't believe it. You could have spent weeks arguing with Danny about it without anything coming to fruition, but Bradley was willing to go after being asked once.

"Cool! It's on a Wednesday!" he said, hugging the Phanatic as he climbed in the car. You closed the door, and before Bradley could say anything, you had your fingers in his hair and your lips on his. 

You kissed him hard, pushing him up against your car door. His hands found your hips, and he spread his legs apart a bit, pulling you flush against him. You swiped your tongue against his lips before backing away. "We can't," you whispered, and both of you were already panting a little bit.

"I know, Kitten," he groaned. "But tell me when we can."

You bit your lip as he pushed himself away from your car door and opened it for you. "I'll miss you while you're away," you told him, and now Bradley was pressing his lips softly on your cheek. 

"I'll miss you, too."

You slid into your car seat, and then Bradley dipped his head down. 

"You have a good game on Saturday, okay kiddo? I won't be there, but maybe your mom can send me some pictures. Make me proud."

"Okay, Coach. I mean Bradley," Everett replied, and you let your lips graze Bradley's jaw before he stood to his full height. He ran his knuckles along your neck and then closed your door without another word. 

---------------------

While Bradley was away, you texted each other when you could, but you knew he was busy. But knowing you wouldn't get to see him at Saturday's game and maybe a few practices as well, had you feeling like something was missing. And unfortunately, you got cornered in your office by Frank on Friday afternoon. 

He let himself in when he knocked, and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. "Frank," you said blandly. "How can I help you?"

"I just wanted to see how you are. See if you're free this weekend and maybe want to come over."

You just blinked at him in silence. You had not approached him one time in weeks, so you had no idea why he thought you might want to spend time with him outside of work again. 

"I'm busy."

"Oh, okay. With your kid? Or are you seeing that other guy?"

Now you really did roll your eyes. "With my kid, Frank. Always busy with my kid."

"Right, okay."

Then he slowly left your office, pulling the door softly shut behind him. You needed a spa night. Between Danny and Frank this past week, you just needed a few hours alone. After Ev was in bed tonight, that's what you would do. If Molly hadn't picked up another shift at the hospital, you would have invited her over for sheet masks, wine and popcorn. 

Instead, after your son was in bed, you ended up tipsy, sitting on your bathroom floor with a bottle of wine while you texted Bradley and gave yourself a facial. 

Bradley Bradshaw: I keep thinking about getting you alone. It's making flying a little uncomfortable.

You were squealing with delight every time he responded to you with a flirty text. And when he sent his final text for the night, you were already getting excited.

Bradley Bradshaw: Make some time for a phone call with me on Sunday night, Kitten?

Duh. You'd give him your whole night after Ev went to sleep. You added a little reminder to your calendar, already looking forward to hearing Bradley's deep voice while you were laying in your bed. 

After you set your phone down, you ended up finishing the bottle of wine, and you were exhausted on Saturday morning when it was time to get up for the tee ball game. You did make sure to get to the field a few minutes early with Everett though, just in case Bob needed help with anything before the game started.

"You're a lifesaver," he told you, handing you his clipboard. "Can you read down the list and check everything off for me?"

"Sure," you replied, following him as he set up cones. When you go to the bottom of the list, you asked him, "Did you remember to text the parent who volunteered to bring the snack?"

Bob groaned as he set down the last base marker. "No. Bradley usually does that the night before, and I promised him I would remember to take care of it this week."

"That's okay," you told him quickly. "I have bags of goldfish crackers in my trunk as an emergency backup plan."

Bob looked so relieved as he said, "You're the best Team Mom in the history of Team Moms."

You giggled and he smiled at you. "So, I talked to Molly a little bit this morning."

"Really?" he asked, picking up the tote bag of balls and looking at you like he was hanging on your every word now. 

"Mmhmm. She's kind of wondering why you haven't asked her out yet. She gave you her number. And it's been two days."

He was so flustered, he dropped the bag, sending balls rolling in every direction. He scrambled to pick them up, and you knelt to help him. "Does she really want to go on a date with me? Like just me and her?" he asked quietly, and you couldn't help but smile at his rosy cheeks. He was adorable. 

"Yes, Bob. Probably more than one."

He stood gaping at you until the umpire walked over and started asking him questions. "Tiny Eagles. And who is your assistant coach for the day?" he asked, and Bob turned toward you with a look of panic on his face. 

You took a deep breath and watched as Everett tossed a ball back and forth with Amber. If there needed to be another coach, you supposed you could take on Bradley's job, too. "I am."

"Excellent," replied the umpire before rounding up the coaches for the Tiny Ravens. 

"Bob, I'm actually kind of useless at tee ball and baseball," you quickly admitted with a grimace.

But he just laughed. "Bradley told me you know everything now. And that you can hit a slow pitch like a pro. You'll be fine." You felt all flushed and couldn't stop grinning when you thought about him saying that stuff to Bob. "Here, let's send him a selfie," Bob said as he tossed his arm around you and snapped a photo of you and him wearing matching whistles. 

"You should send it to Molly, too," you told him, and he ran his hand nervously up and down the back of his neck.

The umpire blew his whistle, and you gathered up all of the kids. Bob talked you through everything he needed help with, and you thought you actually did a pretty great job. The Tiny Eagles even managed to pull out another win.

"Undefeated!" you cheered when Everett gave you a hug. "You were so good, sweetie!"

"I miss Coach Bradley," he said with a frown. "Will they still let him win coach of the year if he missed a game?"

You missed him, too. And Everett was so attached to him. "I think so."

Bob came over and gave Everett and the other kids high fives before they all ran off to the benches. You watched Everett change his shoes as Bob thanked you over and over again. 

"I don't mind helping out. Honestly, you did most of the work, but I can help at practices this week if Bradley still hasn't returned."

"I appreciate that," Bob said, but when you turned to walk away, he called your name. "I'm going to text Molly," he told you, and he already had a lovesick look in his eyes. "Does she have a favorite kind of food? And a favorite type of flower?"

You pressed your lips together to keep from screaming. "Sushi. And those really ugly multicolored carnations." 

"Thanks," he said before taking out his phone.

----------------------

Bradley was lounging in his tiny bunk on Sunday evening after dinner. He wasn't really being given too much down time, and he'd had a long day, but he was patiently waiting for you to call him. 

Next time Mav tried to tell he had to go to some pointless training classes, he was going to tell him to find someone else. He missed his bed, and he missed you and Everett. And he was still pissed off that he missed the game yesterday. Bob had sent him a photo of the two of you at the field. And when he heard that you had filled in as coach while he was away, Bradley got a little turned on. He liked to think that you knew more about baseball now because of him. He was itching to take you back to the batting cages again. Maybe have sex in the Bronco afterwards. 

You were all he could think about right now. He nearly dropped his phone on his face when he saw your name and photo flash on his screen when you called.

"Kitten."

"Bradley," you replied, your voice soft and sweet in his ear. "Miss you."

He closed his eyes and imagined what you looked like right now. "I miss you too, Kitten. How was your first time coaching? Bob is probably planning on firing me and keeping you instead."

Your soft giggle filled him up. "I don't know about that. But it was fun! And of course the team won, so you're still undefeated. Could you imagine if they lost on my watch?"

"I would never let you live it down. I'd still be telling you about it ten years from now," he said before realizing the implications of that particular sentence. 

"That's a long time from now, Coach," you said softly. "How's Lemoore treating you?"

He sighed at the change of subject. "It's awfully boring. There are absolutely no Kittens here teasing me."

"That's a real shame. You wouldn't believe how many other people I've had to tease this weekend in your absence."

He weighed your words and your teasing tone. "I hope you're joking, Kitten. I was hoping I could be your only ball of yarn."

You were quiet for a beat. "I'd like that," you whispered, your voice sounding soft and a little desperate. "When are you coming back?"

He groaned. "I'm not sure. Hopefully I won't have to miss another game, but I will probably miss the practices this week."

"I already told Bob I can fill in for you. I just wish I had a Phillies cap that I could wear backwards. Nobody would be able to tell the difference."

Bradley laughed. "You going to wear that tight skirt this week? Might make practice a little hard for you." Honestly, the hardest thing around for miles when you were wearing that skirt was Bradley's dick, but he didn't think he should tell you that right now.

"You really like that skirt, don't you?"

"Hell yes. I like looking at you in it. And I like thinking about you in it."

"Oh?" Your voice was so teasing, Bradley couldn't handle it. 

"Where are you right now, Kitten?" he asked, and he let his hand come to rest on his abs. 

"Well, I was in bed," you replied, and he heard some rustling noises. "But now I'm on a bit of a mission."

He almost groaned at the thought of you in your bed. "What kind of mission?"

You laughed softly through the phone. "One that you're going to enjoy, I think."

"What does it have to do with?"

You hummed, and Bradley thought he heard a zipper. "How about I just show you?"

And then you were texting him some photos. Of you. Wearing your tight skirt and a black bra. You were standing in front of your full length mirror, smirking with your unmade bed behind you. 

"Kitten," Bradley groaned, letting his right hand move a little closer to his own zipper. "Fuck."

"Oh wait, I have one more to send you," you whispered.

"I don't know if I can handle it, baby," Bradley grunted, running his fingers along his stiffening cock through his pants. 

"Mmm, just try for me." Then you sent him a photo in which you had removed your bra. Your arm and hand were strategically placed so he was treated to the barest tease of your nipples, but now he was sitting up in the tiny bed gaping at his phone. 

"Kitten. What do I need to do for you to send me just one more?"

"You want one more, Coach?" you asked in a singsong voice that had him throbbing for you as he unzipped his pants. 

"Think you can send me one without your arm covering your pretty tits? It was dark in the Bronco last weekend. I know how good they taste, but I'd love to get a better look."

You moaned into the phone, and he was ready to beg for you to send it. "Okay," you said breathlessly, and Bradley waited until another text came through.

"Goddamn, Kitten," he growled when he was finally staring at your bare beasts and half lidded eyes. "They look as good as they taste."

"Bradley," you gasped. "Are you in bed?"

He took a deep breath and eased himself back against his pillow. "I sure am."

"I wish I was with you."

"Fuck, baby. I mean, it's a twin bed, but we could probably do some damage here." You were moaning again when he asked, "Are you climbing back in your bed?"

"Yeah."

"Did you take your skirt off?"

"Yeah."

"Good girl." And then he was reaching into his unzipped pants and underwear and palming his length. As a series of soft mewls met his ears, he had to bite his lip.

"Bradley. I'm touching myself." 

----------------------

You were lounging on your mess of soft bedding, and Bradley was calling you a good girl. You tried your best not to moan too loudly into the phone, but Bradley's raspy, deep voice was making you wild inside. Every word he uttered was going right to your core, and his reaction to your photos made you so wet. 

But you wanted him to know. You wanted him to think about your wet fingers swirling around your clit.

"Bradley. I'm touching myself."

You heard him swallow and take a deep breath. "Me too, Kitten. I'm looking at your photos and thinking about you grinding against my leg."

"Oh that was so hot," you muttered, remembering just how good it felt when you came in his Bronco. If you'd had another fifteen minutes together, you were sure he could have made you cum a second time. 

You dipped your fingers down until you were fucking yourself with them as he told you, "I am so hard for you. Thinking about everything I want to do to you."

"Are you still touching yourself?" you asked, gasping as you dragged your moisture back up to your clit. 

"Yeah. I'm gonna cum soon, too," he said, his voice deeper now. You could picture his huge hands, and now you were whining, imagining him touching you instead. 

"Coach, I'm thinking about how big your hands are." 

"You know what else is big?" he grunted.

You tilted your head back and moaned his name before you saw your phone screen illuminate with a photo. It was Bradley's hand wrapped around his cock. He was huge and veiny with a swollen, red tip. The photo he sent you last weekend where he was grabbing himself through his underwear didn't do him justice. Your mouth was watering just looking at it, saliva pooling at the back of your tongue at the mere thought of how he'd fill your mouth. 

"I wish you were in my mouth!" Your voice was high pitched and breathy. And each stroke of your fingers along your clit had you close to orgasm while you looked at the photo.

"Fuck," he groaned, and you could hear the little sounds he was making at the back of his throat. "Now I'm thinking about you sucking me off."

"I can't wait to taste you."

"I can't wait to touch you everywhere, Kitten."

"I need you to fuck me, Bradley."

"You can have anything you want."

You whined his name over and over as your pussy clenched around your fingers. "Oh god," you moaned as your back arched off your bed. "Bradley."

"Fuck!" he growled, and you could hear his short breaths and imagine his hand pumping his length. 

You thought about catching his cum on your tongue. Or maybe you said it out loud as you came down from your high. Because now he was groaning, "I'll cum in your mouth. All over that pretty face." 

And then the sound of his orgasm washed over you, and it was enough to make you feel warm everywhere. He was saying your name. Groaning it. 

When he started to get a little quieter, you whispered, "When you get back, Bradley, I need you."

"Kitten. I'll take care of everything you need."

----------------------  

I can't wait until he's back in San Diego! Ahhh! Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @mak-32!

PART 12

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[cultfaction]

Eric Bradbury: A Master of Visual Storytelling

[peterparkersnose]

I Fall In Love Too Fast

Part 2 to ‘Jealousy, Jealousy’

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

word count: 6.2k (I fed you guys well!)

warnings: implied age gap, carrot penis reference if you squint, Y/N is a greenhouse girlie, mutual pining, use of y/n, fluff, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, mentions of pregnancy, borderline bullying, stalking, attempting break in, violence, angst, description of blood (sort of), consensual cuddling, joel can’t tell his veggies apart (edited sort of)

a/n shaking rn i need to see cocaine bear asap

summary Y/N and Joel have an unlikely meeting in Jackson’s greenhouse. 

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 22 mins 43 seconds

The low hums of the generator filled your ears. The greenhouse could be very peaceful at times. Something you couldn’t explain drew you to the plants. Ever since you were a child, your friends from the old QZ you grew up in would always question why you would rather read the old book about botany you found than play tag.

When you were presented with the opportunity of working in the greenhouse in Jackson, you were more than happy to accept the position. All the vegetation calmed you for some reason. It was a sense of control in this crazy world. It was almost like it was normal inside that tented space.

After a few years of living in Jackson, Maria decided to appoint you as head greenhouse keeper. You had proved your success throughout the years, the vegetation grew by over 35% (according to Maria, stats were never your thing).

It had been a few days since you had seen Joel. It was a quick, longing goodbye early in the morning. He wanted to make sure you were home before Bradley would have to wake up. The thought of your… ex? You weren’t even quite sure yet. But the thought of him made you want to vomit. And the thought of Joel made you feel… well, safe.

The music coming from your walkman began to skip. The old CD player was old in the time cordyceps started, but nevertheless it trudged on through the pandemic. CD’s were rare, but they were often traded in the community. Currently, Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits skipped through your headphones. Ellie’s CD, presumably from Joel. You didn’t take Ellie for a big Sinatra fan. The thought of having something of his with you made the music just a little bit sweeter.

The song “I Fall In Love Too Easily” began to play clearly through the headphones. You had the headphone jack placed in just the right angle. Ignoring everything else in the world, you swayed to the music slowly as you were washing off the carrots in the sink. As the song continued, you began to hum along with the tune. The song was new to you; the lyrics weren’t mastered in your brain yet.

***

Joel trudged down the muddy streets of Jackson. Tommy and Maria were having a get together that night, and he stupidly agreed to help. Maria requested him to go to the greenhouse to pick up some produce. After Maria’s pushing and adamancy, Joel finally agreed to go. He was suspicious on why he had to go and why Maria just couldn’t go herself, but he decided to leave the possible argument alone and just do what he was told. He wanted to stay back and help Tommy with the roast anyways. That was his specialty. Back in Texas, Joel would make the best damn barbecue in the neighborhood.

Hell, he had never even had to go to the greenhouse before. He was perfectly content on living off of canned beans and coffee. And it was Sunday; the one day everyone had off. The greenhouse was sure to be abandoned, meaning he would have to forage for the produce himself. Did he know the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber? Hell no. Not even when life wasn’t shit he couldn’t figure that out.

Maria smirked as herself and Tommy watched Joel slump down the street. Joel was reading off the slip of paper Maria had written down directions on to the greenhouse. “The only person crazy enough to be workin’ on a Sunday is Y/N, if anyone is there.” Tommy said. “Why do you think I sent him?”

They both gave each other conniving looks.

“You saw the way he acted at the Tipsy Bison earlier this week,” Maria said, sucking her teeth and turning around to tend to her stew. “Don’t you want him to be happy?” She called back to Tommy. He shook his head at his wife’s antics and returned to the roast.

***

Joel let out a scoff as he realized he knew exactly where he was going. The big, white tent that sat on the edge of Jackson. Embarrassingly, he made his way towards the big landmark he mistakenly used to take for a medical ward. To his surprise, the lights were on.

Joel gave the door a few knocks before he opened it, not to freak out the possible worker who could have been behind the door. He quietly slipped in. He brushed some of the mud off his boots as he opened the second door.

A rush of heat hit his face. His eyes scoured the large facility in look for a person. And right then is why he realized Maria was so damn adamant about him going to the greenhouse. 

Your hair was tied up like it was the night you stayed at his house. He recognized the flannel you had on as his own. Your jeans and boots were a classic look that almost every woman had around town. What he didn’t expect was the headphones and walkman clipped to your jeans.

Soft humms came from you. Joel was feeling conflicted; his ego couldn’t allow him to feel this way about you. But the way you do gracefully moved your hips and cleaned those carrots drove him nuts. The thought of you in his kitchen, the two of you cooking together brought warmth to the bitter man’s heart.

Bringing himself back to reality, he looked at the list Maria had scratched down for him. Maybe you could help him find a… butternut squash? He didn’t know there was more than one type of squash.

He stood in the entrance and waited for you to notice him; but you never did. You were so invested in that little sink that you never bothered to look his way. Joel took a deep breath, realizing he was going to have to get your attention.

The fearless man began to tremble with anxiety. He cautiously walked over stray hoses and tried to keep his footsteps on the louder side, so you could maybe hear he was coming.

You yelped as he tapped your shoulder. The carrot you were holding in your hand fell into the sink.

“I’m sorry I-”

“Oh thank god, it’s just you.” you said out of breathe, holding your hand to your chest. “Scared the shit out of me,”

The music played through the headphones as you wrapped the cord loosely around your neck. It played long enough for Joel to recognize the song.

“Sinatra?” he asked, your music taste peaking his interest. You clipped the walkman to your belt, it now rested against the black shirt you had his flannel loosely on top of. “Ellie loaned it to me,” you said, grabbing a towel and drying your hands.

“Must be mine then,” Joel tittered, nervously playing with the piece of paper in his grip. Your eyebrows raised in question, ignoring the confirmation of your previous theory. “I loaned it to her a few months back, thought she must’ve lost it but… I guess not.”

“Do you want it back? Here, you can…” you nervously said, struggling to get the walkman out of your belt loop. “Keep it, really. You seem to like it more than me.” he said, again. “Oh, I have this-” you said, beginning to strip the oversized flannel off your body. “Here,” you said, balling up the flannel and reaching it out to Joel. “Nah, it looks better on you than me. Trust me,” he said, awkwardly refusing the gift of his own belongings.

He could imagine drunk you saying “He said it looked better on me,” as you did a few nights ago in his bed when he called you ‘pretty girl’.

Why was he giving his things to you?

You wrapped the flannel around your waist. “What can I help you with?”

He outstretched the paper to you.

“Maria’s cookin’?” you asked, walking past Joel with the confidence that you knew where you were going. Obediently, he followed you.

“Some stew or something, she says it’s good but…” Joel said, sucking in air sharply. “Not so good?” you smirked, reaching a planter and looking up at him. He shook his head no but then said “It’s delicious,” in a forced, sarcastic tone.

You pulled out the first vegetable and handed it to Joel. Moving along, you moved to the next planter.

“Is that what your doin’ tonight?” you asked him, going through the pea pods trying to pick out the best ones. “Yup.”

He stood for a second in silence as he felt like something was missing. “Would you like to come?” he asked, praying Tommy wouldn’t kill him and Maria’s stew would taste better than it did last time.

Your heart sank because you already had plans. “I’m so sorry,” you began. Joel’s face turned bright red.

He was right. He was too old for all of this. You were just interested in being friends, maybe not even friends. He was so embarrassed, he was ready to go back in his house and never come out again.

“I promised Ellie and Dina I would come over tonight. Have a little sleepover, if you could call it that. Definitely need a rain check though, I would love to some other time.”

That damn kid stole his date.

“Oh, yeah. No worries.” he said, the rejection ruining his confidence.

“I mean it though, rain check.” you said, piling more veggies into his grasp. That built back some of his shattered rizz.

You made your way to the front of the greenhouse, getting ready for the last produce. Potatoes.

You chuckled as you looked behind you. Joel’s presence seemed to fall back. He was struggling to keep all the produce in his hands.

“Would you like a bag?” you asked, slowly moving towards the woven bags hanging on the wall. “Would be nice,” he awkwardly chuckled, grabbing a falling bunch of broccoli from his hands.

“Here,” you said, opening the bag in front of him as he layed everything in. “Shit,” he mumbled as a stray carrot stalk fell. You both bent down to retrieve it.

His hand accidentally layed on yours for a brief second. It should have been a minuscule moment, but time seemed to freeze. You looked up into his gaze as you both stood up, still both holding the carrot. You never wanted this moment to end.

“Potatoes?” Joel asked. Trapped in his gaze, you answered “Huh?”

“Don’t I need a few potatoes?”

You blinked a few times, bringing yourself back into reality. “Uh, yeah. Follow me.” you said, trying to calm your heavy breathing. You could almost feel your heartbeat pumping out of your chest.

The green tops of the potatoes reached out of the grass. Inspecting each top, you slowly and carefully made your decision. “You sure know what your doin’,” Joel commented as you looked up at him from the leaves. “Botany is my passion,”

“By the way your looking at those potato stems, I believe you.” “Maria’s stew has to be good this time. I can tell this one is a good one because of how thick the leaves are. The bugs haven’t gotten to it yet because it’s in the middle, you see. They are full grown, these are the ones planted around the spring. There full grown and…”

You looked up at Joel and found him with a sly smile. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“I like ramblin’. Could listen to it all day.”

He wanted to say he could listen to you all day; Even if all you talked about was potatoes.

“At least someone enjoys my rambling.”

Memories of Bradley point blank telling you to shut up because you were explaining how herbs could be used in medicine once plagued your mind. Then, the memory of his face bloodied scurrying on the bar floor replaced those. And you felt that warm feeling again, safe with Joel in the greenhouse.

Selecting the perfect one from the middle row, you began to pull. And pull some more. “God dammit,” you muttered to yourself. Giving up, you moved some of the dirt around the root.

“Can you help?” you asked kindly, as pulling on it one more time was unsuccessful. Joel placed the bag of produce down and moved to a different angle.

You expected them to pull out easily when he went for them, but he was struggling too. “What you do to ‘em?” he asked, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “Locked in or something,”

You angrily decided to try pulling again.

“Let me,” he said. To your surprise, his hands came to your shoulders to ease the suspense of touch. Then, he moved forward bringing you into his embrace. His hands rested below yours. Your shoulders matched up almost perfectly with his broad chest.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice sending chills down your spine. You could tell how warm he was, even with the heat of the greenhouse making the both of you sweat. His arms flexed on yours as he began to pull the potatoes up along with your grip. He pushed back and you followed his grip. Within a few seconds, the potatoes freed from the dirt and sent the two of you flying backwards.

You two landed back first on the dirt ground. The feeling of his arms were still around you, he was still holding you on the ground. He had let go of the potatoes and they were thrown down the isle.

The two of you burst out in laughter, staring at the ceiling of the greenhouse. You genuinely didn’t want to leave this moment; and neither did he.

“I totally loosened it for you.” you bragged, sitting up and looking down at him. One hand rested under his head, the other layed comfortably on his stomach. “Sure ya did.”

He took your hand as you helped him up. His knees cracked, and he prayed that you didn’t hear it. The two of you made your way to the washing station at the other end of the greenhouse.

“Potato,” you said in a stern tone. He placed one in your hand. “Brush,” you requested. He handed you the brush. You turned on the water and scrubbed the dirt off the potatoes. “Towel,”

“Yes ma’am.”

The two of you laughed as he played along into your antics. He was standing so close that his hips seemed to connect with yours. “Is that the last one?” he asked, drying off the fifth potato. “Unfortunately,” you sighed.

“Your welcome back any time to wrestle some potatoes again, if you’d like.” you said, following him to grab his original bag of produce. “Why don’t we take on the corn next week?” he asked, not wanting to leave. He just knew Maria would be bombarding him with questions about what took so long.

“It’s a date!” you said, mostly serious but in a joking manner.

Dina froze at the door. Ellie was making homemade pizza for that night and sent Dina to get some tomatoes. She was frozen, peeping through the door she watched. Dina had just gotten a front row viewing of you and Joel struggling with the potatoes, your awkward impromptu cuddle on the ground, and the romantic potato washing.

As Dina saw the two of you finishing your… encounter, she made her way quickly to the side of the building.

Ellie is going to love this.

***

“Ellie, your never going to believe-”

“Where are my tomatoes?” she asked, disappointedly. Dina burst into the kitchen of their small house frantically. “Forget the tomatoes, El. You’ll never guess what I just saw.”

“What, another stray cat? For the last time, no stray cats.”

“Joel and Y/N.” she said astonished. She took a place on one of the barstools next to the counter.

“What about them?”

“No- Ellie. Joel and Y/N, they were cuddling in the greenhouse.”

Ellie looked up from her dough she was making. “Dina, did you breathe in some outhouse gas?”

“No! I promise you. I was going to get the tomatoes, but they were just laying there. Then they got up and washed potatoes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone wash vegetables so… sensually before.”

“I think your bullshitting me. Who cuddles in a greenhouse?” Ellie questioned, turning around and looking through the pantry. “Old stuff is going to have to do,” she sighed, pulling the old can of marinara sauce out from the back of the pantry.

“I wonder…” Dina began. “You remember how I told you about Bradley,”

“You remember how much I want Tommy to banish him?” Ellie reminded Dina. “Joel knocked that dude out!” Dina exclaimed.

“Yeah, but that’s just Joel being Joel. I’m sure he would do it for any one of us.”

“He walked her home!” Dina complained. “Your going to tell me there’s nothing going on there?”

“I think we should wait and ask Y/N. Not make assumptions,” Ellie sighed, giving Dina the side eye.

“They’d be cute, that’s all I’m saying.”

***

The sun was at the end of setting, the sky was a deep purple. You noticed Joel’s boot marks in the mud and how big they were compared to your feet. “Damn,” you whispered to yourself, stepping in one of his prints. Another pair of prints seemed to circle around the greenhouse. They were similar in size to your feet and had a different shape then the bottom of your shoes.

Following the odd marks, they moved to the side of the greenhouse. And then made a straight line towards where you were going: Ellie and Dina’s house.

“Oh no,” you sighed, following either Ellie or Dina’s footprints. You prayed one of them didn’t see you with Joel.

You tried to imagine Ellie’s reaction to it. What would there to be mad about? You were just friends with Joel. Even though you had admitted to yourself he was just your passing patrol crush about a year ago, you were taking things slowly with this new found interest.

And he was older than you, there was that. Adults can make adult decisions, you reminded yourself. You and Joel were both adults that had experienced a lot in life, even though yours was a bit shorter than his.

Would Ellie be mad? Her… Joel and her best friend (besides Dina of course). You shoved the idea to the back of your mind as you knocked on their door.

Dinner had an odd vibe to it. Dina had already had a few too many glasses of wine, and you were avoiding the alcohol at all costs. The other night was enough for this week.

“Your not drinking?” Ellie asked, chewing down on her pizza. “Nah,” you said, briefly commenting.

“What, you pregnant?” Dina laughed, filling her wine glass up again. You almost choked on your pizza. “God Dina, no.” you chuckled. “I haven’t fucked Brad in… four months? I think I would know by now.”

“Gross!” Ellie cringed. “I’m trying to eat!”

“Sorry, sorry.” you jokefully apologized. “Anything… new? With you know, Bradley?” Dina asked. Something was up with her.

“Not since Joel kicked him on his ass,” you said.

Dina gave Ellie a strange look. “Yeah, I remember. Did he get you home alright that night?” Dina asked. You swallowed a bit of your pizza. “Mhm,”

You hated lying to your friends. Without the truth, you felt miserable. You wanted to tell them all about Joel and how you have been secretly borderline obsessed with him since that night, but word getting back to Joel might scare him off. And you didn’t want Ellie to freak out.

“Then how come I didn’t see your porch light on when I left with Maria?”

You froze in your seat.

“I’m just fucking with you,” Dina teased, pushing her hand into your arm. “You like him though, don’t you.”

Lying is one thing you were never good at. “He’s a nice man.”

“You like him though, don’t you?”

The lack of response and the quickening of your breathe didn’t help your case. “Dina,” Ellie said, stepping in to Dina’s drunken antics.

“He took you to his house, didn’t he?”

“I…”

The whole town of Jackson seemed more quiet than usual. Ellie looked at your face and could see the panic. Her eyebrows rose as her stare widened, watching you squirm in your seat at Dina’s question.

“Holy fuck! Did you fuck Joel?” Ellie asked, now realizing the reality in Dina’s games. She was right; Dina totally saw you two at the greenhouse.

“No! No.” you defended yourself. That was the truth at least. “I… I didn’t want Bradley coming around and…”

“Oh my god,” Ellie said, standing up from the table. “We’re just friends! He’s a nice man Ellie, you know that.”

“Then why did I see you two cuddling in the greenhouse today?” Dina muttered from behind her wine glass.

You sighed and buried your head in your hands. So the shoe prints belonged to Dina.

“Y/N.” Ellie said sternly, standing at her place at the table and crossing her arms. “Tell me the truth.”

You grabbed Dina’s wine glass and took a large gulp.

“I- I like him, okay? I think he’s handsome, and kind and considerate. Everything Bradley isn’t and everything I deserve.” you said angrily, getting out of your seat and slamming it back in the table.

“Dina, your a dick when your drunk.” you yelled, grabbing your coat and heading for the door as Dina giggled at her spot.

“Y/N,” Ellie said, grabbing your hand. She closed her eyes and took a long breathe. “Your being for real?” Ellie asked, her look turned more sincere.

“As real as a bite,” you sighed.

***

The three of you, now in pajamas, sat in Ellie and Dina’s bed. Dina was braiding your hair as Ellie layed flat on her back and stared at the ceiling.

“Y/N Miller,” Ellie said out of the blue. Your head whipped over to where she was sitting, pulling your braid Dina was working on. “Jesus, El. A little too soon for that? I doubt it even,” you giggled. “In this world?” Dina asked. “I can lend you my white dress. With the embroidered flowers?” Dina suggested.

The memory of her embroidering those last summer resurfaced. “It is awful pretty,”

“And I can do your hair, hold on.” Dina said, undoing the braid she had been working on.

You felt her hands begin to work. “I just don’t know if he likes me back…” you sighed.

“Y/N. I know Joel. He wouldn’t just lay on the dirt floor with anybody.” Ellie assured you. “He barely speaks to anyone in Jackson as it is,”

“Would he even say anything? If he liked me?”

“Jesus, Y/N. This isn’t high school. Just tell him.” Ellie teased, sitting up in bed. “I’ll talk to him. Work some of my magic-”

“You better not!” you seethed, giving Ellie a glare. “Don’t embarrass me!”

“Ta da!” Dina announced, finishing putting a pin in your hair. You jumped off the bed and moved to the mirror.

It was in a low bun with a few stray hairs framing your face. It was so effortless and so elegant. “Dina,” you gasped, carefully cupping the bun with your hand. “I can make it ten times better, but just a thought.”

“I love it,” you gasped. “If I ever get married, you two are in charge of the wedding.”

***

Joel ate awkwardly at the table with Maria and Tommy in silence. The only noise in the whole house was the scratching of silverware.

“How was the patrol? Yesterday.” Maria asked both Tommy and Joel. “Alright,” they both said in unison. They definitely were brothers, men of very few words.

“Any news on the power plant improvement?” Tommy asked Maria. “I had some guys there today. So nice, working on their Sunday off.” she added.

“You know who works on Sundays?”

Joel’s fork stopped moving.

“I hear Y/N is running the greenhouse real nice.” Tommy said, already knowing the answer to Maria’s question.

“How was she, Joel?”

Joel looked up at Maria with a side eye. “Fine.”

“They’ve got blueberries now! Damn blueberries, I haven’t had any since before this shit. They were good,” Tommy mused, reminiscing on the delicious fruit.

“She’s a good chef too,” Maria commented. “Made some amazing salad dressing for the winter party a few weeks ago. Did you try her cookies too?”

“I remember,” Tommy added. “She’s gonna make a real nice wife some day.”

Joel’s fist hit the table a little too hard as he set down his glass. Both Tommy and Maria looked at him shocked.

“You alright?” Tommy asked.

“Can we change the subject?” Joel asked bitterly. “Why so angry? What’d she ever do to you?” Tommy pushed. “Goddamit Tommy,” he yelled, shoving his chair in.

“Thanks for the wonderful meal, Maria.” he hissed, lying and abruptly leaving their house. The picture frame on the wall shook a bit as he slammed the door.

“He’s down bad.” Tommy laughed. Maria sighed, her hands rubbing her temples. “Why do the two of you always seem to ruin a good night?”

“Hey, I barely did anything.” Tommy resisted with his hands in a defensive pose. “You know he likes her. The sheer mention of her makes him leave.” Maria commented. “God, I hope those two idiots find each other again. I don’t know how much more I can take of this.” Tommy sighed, chewing away at his roast.

It was dark outside now. Joel could hear the whisps of the wind blow in the trees. Creepy if you’d ask him, but Joel wasn’t afraid of much anymore. Almost all the houses were dark; with the exception of a few porch lights.

He turned down the main street and looked at all the lights still on. Maria’s guys must have fixed the power plant, pls business signs were flooding the street with their light. He glanced up at Ellie and Dina’s apartment; it was over one of the textile shops in the downtown department. The lights were out besides the one outside the entrance.

He took a double take when he saw someone standing out there.

Moving closer, he recognized the crouched down figure trying to pick their lock.

Bradley.

He reached the bottom of the old metal staircase before making himself known. He cleared his throat loudly.

“What in the hell are you doing?”

Bradley recoiled in fear, dropping the pocketknife on the metal landing. “It’s not what it looks like- I swear it Mr. Miller.”

“Then what does it look like?” he asked, slowly walking up each step. “I-I… Y/N invited me over. You know, lighten up the time with them. T-they had left over food she said.”

Bradley’s cowardly tone made Joel smile. He cracked a few of his fingers, intimidating Bradley farther and farther.

Joel knew Ellie. There was no way she would ever have leftovers; let alone invite anyone besides Dina to share them.

“You got about five seconds to tell me why-”

Joel was older and tougher, but Bradley was sly. He jumped up, grabbing the knife he dropped and swiped at Joel’s face with it.

Joel quickly ducked as fast as he could and kneed him in the gut. Bradley let out a loud oomf as Joel grabbed both of his hands and held them behind his back. “Nice try,” he whispered in his ear.

Now behind Bradley, Joel gave him a rough push down the metal stairs and took great pleasure in watching him flail down.

Unfortunately, the front door flung open and he was met with a shot gun to his face. He sighed, waiting for Ellie to realize who it was.

She cautiously lowered the gun as she recognized Joel’s face in the dim light.

“I taught you too well,” Joel sighed, moving the barrel of the gun out of his range.

“What’s wrong?” Dina asked, peeking out from behind the wall. You weren’t far behind her, hopping on your tippy toes to see what the matter was.

“You fucking fuck!” Bradley yelled from the ground. He was rolling around, clutching his leg. “You broke my leg, you asshole!”

Ellie looked at Joel in confusion. “Caught your peepin’ Tom on my way home.”

Emerging from behind Dina, you recognized those two voices from anywhere.

“Joel?”

His eyes met yours.

“Y/N, I dunno if you wanna look.” Joel advised. Ellie stepped out of the way as you poked your head out the door. A small gasp came when you saw your ex laying on the concrete. “Bradley, what the fuck!” you yelled.

“Please, Y/N. Take me back, I promise to treat you better than that old, violent grandpa!” He yelled, still in a ball on the ground. Joel let out a small breath of air from his nose. ‘Grandpa is really the best you got?’ he thought to himself.

“Your fucking pathetic.” you called back down to him. “How did he know I was even here?” you said, turning around to ask Ellie. She shrugged. Your hands began to tremble. “Hey, hey.” Ellie said, recognizing the panic arising in you.

She gestured for Joel to come in. She flicked a lamp on as you sat on the couch. “I can go get Tommy and a few other guys, we can deal with him.” Joel suggested.

Ellie looked at you for confirmation. Your eyes darted from her to Joel and back to her. She knew what you needed in that time. You needed him.

“Let me and Dina go get Tommy. I doubt Brad is going anywhere anytime soon.”

Joel opened his mouth to resist, but then saw you shaking on the couch. He knew Ellie was more than capable of fucking this guy up, and he rather stay with you. Even if the fucking up of Bradley sounded oh, so appealing.

“Alright.” he nodded, watching the two girls pull on their coats.

“May I?” he asked, outstretching his hand referencing to the couch spot next to you. You nodded your head. He sat next to you, not touching you. Joel was unsure of how to approach this.

“Joel?” you asked, turning to look at him. Your breathing was shaky and your eyes were glossy. “Yes?”

Without his consent, you moved closer to him on the couch. Your thighs were touching. The need for him to hold you right then was strong.

Joel let out a sigh of relief as he took your invitation of affection. His arm wrapped around your shoulder. You found comfort in his body, cuddling in and moving your arms closer to your body as he held you.

“Everything is alright,” he re assured you, taking his thumb and started slowly running circles into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry about what he said.” you sighed. “What- the grandpa comment? Pfft,” Joel chuckled. Your body moved against his as he laughed. “Doesn’t even phase me.”

“Well, he’s wrong.” you said. Joel looked down at you. “About what?”

“There is no way he could treat me better than you.”

A soft smile rose to Joel’s mouth. He wished he could hold you like this every night. The sweet smell of the rationed out shampoo filled his senses as he took another deep breath.

“Your damn right,” Joel whispered, leaning down and placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. Your arm stretched along his torso, holding him tightly as the sounds of Bradley’s wails came from below.

***

At least an hour had passed. You had dozed off, leaving Joel alone in Ellie’s apartment. You were still connected to Joel at the hip, but your grip had loosened on his waist.

He looked down at you adoringly. He thought of almost every scenario as he waited for Ellie and Dina to return.

He had to ask you out. He wasn’t quite sure how, he figured Tommy could maybe give him some pointers. Or maybe Ellie, she seems to know what women like. And then dating you. He wanted to take you out to the fields outside of Jackson. A nice picnic maybe, you two could maybe bring some food from the greenhouse. He remembered how when he was a child he used to eat cucumber sandwiches (there better than they sound, trust me).

You could teach him the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber. You could be that balance in his life; something he had been searching for since he was a teenager.

He noticed your hair was in a falling out low messy bun. He imagined a veil coming out from it, and a luxurious white gown on you. Sure, he was getting ahead of himself. Little did he know you were discussing the topic of marriage just hours prior.

The fantasies about a lavish, non infected world wedding were diminished as Ellie and Dina made their way through the door.

“Shh,” Joel said, silencing their conversation.

“Aww,” Dina said, still a little tipsy from the night before.

“You should take her home. Bradley won’t be bothering her anymore.” Ellie said sternly. Joel noticed the bloodied knuckles on Ellie’s hand. Dina placed her baseball bat next to it’s resting place at the door.

“Hey,” Joel whispered, rubbing your shoulder. You groaned, holding him tighter. “Good morning,” you muttered. “Still night time, doll. Let’s get you home.”

You slowly woke up in Joel’s embrace. The scent of him sent you back to the first night you spent in his bed. “You wanna go home?” he asked you again. “No,” you protested.

“I’m sober,”

Joel looked at you in confusion. “Remember? ‘Talk to me when your sober’, or something like that?”

The memory clicked in Joel’s mind.

“I want to stay with you.”

Joel couldn’t resist. He helped you up from the couch. He grabbed your jacket from the coat rack and helped you put your arms through your sleeves.

“Is that a yes?” you asked him as he silently closed Ellie and Dina’s door. He sighed. “Sure,”

Walking hand and hand down the abandoned street, you began to humm the Frank Sinatra song from earlier that day. Joel listened to your sweet tune the whole way home.

As you reached his house, you kept the tune going again and again. Joel led you to his bedroom with his hand in yours. His alarm clock read a little after three.

“Get comfy,” he said, throwing his jacket in the corner. You dropped your jacket, leaving it by the bedroom door with your boots. All that was left was your jeans and your black tank top.

“You don’t care if I slip into something more comfortable, do you?” he asked. “Not at all.”

Joel stared at you awkwardly. “You want me to go to the bathroom or…”

“It’s your house. I don’t mind,” you said, boldly sliding off your jeans and kicking them into your pile. Your gray underwear was left on as you sat on the edge of his bed.

“Alright,” he chuckled, adoring your boldness. His pants came off and hit the ground with a thud. His heavy belt buckle made the noise. He opened a drawer and took out a pair of red flannel pajama pants.

“Look! They match the flannel,” you exclaimed.

He turned around, completely enamored by you. Your excitement, your pep, and everything else about you was just what he was lacking in his life. For the first time in years, Joel felt himself feel genuinely happy. It was scary for him, but he was ready to let go.

“Can I just say…” he said, walking up to you sitting on his bed. His right hand slowly cupped your left cheek. His thumb slowly, softly ran across your cheek. “You really do look better in the flannel in than me.”

He slowly bent down, giving you enough time to resist. To his surprise, you began to rise off the bed and connected your lips with his. Rising off the bed, you continued the kiss as you both took a few steps. His hand reached around your waist, finding a comfy spot on the bottom of your back. Your hands had moved to his hair, slowly playing with the locks in your fingers.

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” you smiled, still in his embrace.

Joel’s body melted into yours. “I… I really…” he struggled to say. “‘I really’ you too,” you said, expressing to him that it was okay to be afraid. But you were there, and was ready for anything at any pace. His soft eyes seemed relieved at the confirmation of the now mutual feelings.

“Let’s get some sleep, hm?” you asked, sitting back down on the bed and breaking from his embrace.

His body held yours. Joel’s arms protectively kept you in his embrace. The four legs intertwined and kept each other warm underneath the blanket. You pushed into his figure, making yourself feel more secure than ever.

As he held you in bed, the tune began to sing again in your head. In a before sleep epiphany, you remembered the lyrics.

“But I still fall in love too easy, I fall in love too fast,” you whispered. Joel’s head burrowed in the nape of your neck. A tiny kiss was placed there in confirmation of what he had just heard.

Happiness consumed the both of you.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @rosie0611 @vivalasv3gan

[callsigndragon]

MY DEAR BEAN THIS IS BRILLIANT *daily forehead kiss smoooch*

NoW

When Phoenix calms down enough to hold a conversation with you, she explains exactly why Rooster is so pissed off by finding dick confetti everywhere. “You should’ve seen his face! He was stood there right in front of Cyclone when he took his helmet off. There were little purple dicks everywhere!” She tells you and you have to put a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly.

NOT IN FRONT OF CYCLONE HAHAHAHA bet he's thinking this is some Maverick shit.

“Not sure, my shoes just feel really uncomfortable.”

tHE SHOES POOR BABY ROOSTER

Your eyes widen as you take in what he’s saying. “So you’re telling me that every single pair of Rooster’s jeans have dick confetti in the pockets?”

BOB IS FUCKING BRILLIANT HAHAHA

You laugh again, “oh my god, I would love to meet your grandmother, she sounds awesome!” You tell him.

ROBERTA. MY. QUEEN. I. LOVE. YOU.

You’re walking away but stop as you hear a yell come from outside, the words clear as day even over the loud music. “The fucking Bronco? ARE YOU KIDDING ME HANGMAN?!” You laugh out loud at Rooster’s anguished shout and catch Bob’s eye. He’s managed to recover from your impromptu date arrangements and sends you a sly wink to which you put a finger to your lips in a shushing motion.

Hangman, there's no place on Earth you can hide.

And FLIRTY BOOOOOB

God, i loved this so MUCH.

Thank you my dear Bean, always delivering the best content.

Confetti

summary: in which a prank on Rooster turns into you asking Bob out

pairing: Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd X Reader

words: 1.3K

warnings: swearing, bob being a low-key chaotic king 👑

a/n: so this idea came from @call-sign-jinx @shrimping-for-all and myself being completely chaotic… enjoy :)

(big special thanks to jenn for realising I was missing half my fic 🙃)

“Jesus what the FUCK?” Rooster yells as yet another pile of purple dick confetti falls to the ground of the Hard Deck, this time out of the pocket of his jeans.

You’d been watching it happen all throughout Rooster’s party. He’d walked in with a face like thunder and when you’d asked Phoenix what the problem was, she’d promptly burst into laughter, clutching her sides as tears rolled down her face. You’d found out by asking around that Bradley had received anonymous birthday card full of purple dick confetti that morning, but it didn’t stop there. From the morning onwards, Rooster had been finding the confetti in all sorts of random places.

When Phoenix calms down enough to hold a conversation with you, she explains exactly why Rooster is so pissed off by finding dick confetti everywhere. “You should’ve seen his face! He was stood there right in front of Cyclone when he took his helmet off. There were little purple dicks everywhere!” She tells you and you have to put a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly.

“Oh my god no way!”

Phoenix holds a hand out, “oh I’m not even done! He sat down to drink a cup of coffee this afternoon, takes a sip and spits out a bunch of the confetti!” You snort into your hand at the image of Rooster spitting confetti dicks all over the floor. “I’ve never heard Hangman laugh so much in his life!”

You furrow your brows “So is Hangman the one doing it then?” You ask curiously and the female pilot shrugs.

“I have no idea, he says not but I don’t know if I believe him.”

You nod and hum in response, listening intently as Phoenix recounts even more stories of Rooster finding dick confetti in various places. You’re crying with laughter by the end, particularly enjoying her description of Rooster’s confusion when he found the confetti covering the shelves of his refrigerator.

Just as Phoenix is finishing up the list of places Rooster has found the purple penises, you notice the man himself walk back into the room, frowning and shifting from side to side. “What’s up Bradshaw?” You ask.

“Not sure, my shoes just feel really uncomfortable.”

You frown. “Maybe a stone or something got in there?”

“Hm maybe” he says and pulls his right shoe off. As he pulls it off, you all watch, him in exasperation, Phoenix and yourself in total amusement, as a few sparkly pieces of confetti float mockingly to the floor. Rooster makes a sound, possibly a mix of confusion and annoyance before repeating the action with the other shoe. The same thing happens and Phoenix starts laughing uncontrollably again, quickly joined by you and Hangman, who has just appeared by your side.

Rooster looks up from the small pool of dick confetti at his feet and shoots a murderous gaze at the blond pilot. “You’re a dead man Jake.”

“Rooster, man I swear it’s not me.” Hangman takes slow steps back, his hands held out in front of him as if trying to tame a wild animal. “How the fuck would I even get it in your shoes?” He asks but Roosters not listening. The dark haired pilot takes one step forward for every one Hangman takes back until the latter takes off running. With just socks now covering his feet, Bradley sprints after him with a shout, chasing Jake out of the Hard Deck.

Everyone around laughs with people starting to take bets on how long it’ll take for Rooster to catch Hangman or where Rooster will find the confetti next. Most people go back to their conversations but your conversation partner, Phoenix seems to have ditched you in favour of making bets with Fanboy so you take the chance to observe the room.

From where you’re, you can see Bob carefully make his way over the other side of the room from where he was talking to Payback a minute ago. Intrigued, you keep your eyes on him until he gets to where Rooster has left his jacket resting on the back of a bar stool. Bob looks around slowly, not realising that you’ve seen him then starts rifling through the pockets of Rooster’s jacket. At first, you’re a bit alarmed but then Bob grabs a small bag out of his pocket and starts emptying something into Roosters wallet which he pulls out.

Everything suddenly clicks into place as you realise that Bob has been the one messing with Rooster all day. You glance around to see if anyone else has spotted Bob and registered the same thing as you but no one is paying attention. You chuckle quietly to yourself as Bob places Rooster’s wallet back where it was and returns to the bar alone to order himself another drink.

Smiling, you walk up to him and stand by his side, leaning on the bar and staring right at him. “How’d you know which jeans he was gonna wear?” You ask and Bob’s eyes widen in alarm, realising he’s been caught.

“Uh- I.” He stammers, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You laugh, “cut the shit floyd, I saw you put the confetti in his wallet so I have to know, how the hell did you know which jeans he was gonna wear tonight?” You ask.

Bob sighs, “I didn’t”

Your eyes widen as you take in what he’s saying. “So you’re telling me that every single pair of Rooster’s jeans have dick confetti in the pockets?”

He nods, “and it’s in all of his shoes too.”

“Well played Bob,” you commend him, clinking your glass against the full bottle of beer Penny has put on the bar for him. “But I gotta ask, where did you even get the idea?”

Bob smiles, chuckling to himself. “Uh, my grandmother actually.” He tells you and you throw your head back in laughter.

“No way!”

He nods, “I’m being serious.”

You laugh again, “oh my god, I would love to meet your grandmother, she sounds awesome!” You tell him.

Bob scratches the back of his neck nervously, “yeah she’s pretty great.”

“So did you put it anywhere else?” You ask, “the confetti I mean.”

Bob nods his head again, “uh, there’s some under his pillow and in his locker on base.” He pauses for a moment to think, “Oh and I covered the bronco in it!” He says and your eyes widen in fear for Bob.

“The Bronco? Shit dude he’s gonna kill you!

“Who says he’s gonna find out?” He asks, bringing his beer bottle to his lips

You nod, “Ok, I guess I’ll keep your secret.” You take a sip out of your glass , “on one condition.”

“What’s the condition?”

You take a breath, a newfound confidence consuming you. “You have to take me on a date.”

Poor Bob nearly chokes on his beer. “You- uh… You want to date me?” He asks incredulously. “Are you sure?” and you just about swoon inside at his humbleness.

“I’ve heard there’s a really nice Italian that just opened up a few blocks over from here.” You tell him as he just stands there, mouth agape. “8 o’clock Friday, I’ll make the reservation, you pick me up?” Bob nods dumbly and you make a mental note to text him about it later just in case he isn’t taking in the details right now. “Can’t wait,” you tell him before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

You’re walking away but stop as you hear a yell come from outside, the words clear as day even over the loud music. “The fucking Bronco? ARE YOU KIDDING ME HANGMAN?!” You laugh out loud at Rooster’s anguished shout and catch Bob’s eye. He’s managed to recover from your impromptu date arrangements and sends you a sly wink to which you put a finger to your lips in a shushing motion.

Phoenix, the ever perceptive woman that she is, catches your gesture. “What’s that about?” She asks you and you reply.

“That’s for me to know and for you to probably never find out.”