#I think the only intresting thing that happened to me in school is that I accidental had a haram going

[in-the-bushes-miki]

We listen and we don’t judge 👁️👁️

As a kid I tried eating those balls absorbent packet that are used in shoes to prevent any moisturizer, I kinda wanted some candy and I was hungry and so I ate it but it was too salty so I spit it back out :P

This happened in a JCPenney

Also the exactly picture of what it looked like still seem to look the same even after all these years LMAOOO

Also thank you for the tag hyo!! 💕💕

Tagging cuties! (So they can spill too) @ephie-om @cnl0400 @arrowmance @nnnneeev @once-in-a-blood-moon @sane-omblog @susujelly + or anyone else who would like to spill 👀

We listen and we don't judge

When I was 7, me and my friends saved a fish from drowning

(Tag your moots)

@literallylink--who-tf-is-ravioli @sunlights-daughter @protagaster @somereaderinblue @fronzie @notesbyaphrodite

[noangeleither]

think i finally figured out sydney’s age using real evidence and not just vibes and voices in my head. and it’s crazy bc i guessed sydney was 26/27. and I wasn’t that far.

Sydney earned her culinary arts degree at CIA located in upstate NY. Apparently, it takes less than two years to earn that degree. Assuming she graduated high school at 17/18, this would put her at about 19/20 when she graduates and also when she goes to NYC for a food tour.

i got to this conclusion trying to make a timeline for carmys career (which made my head hurt). We know Carmy is 28-30 bc he’s the same age as claire a doctor who’s in her residency and that’s usually the age at which you start. I was confused about how long he spent at EMP. Fishes takes place about five years before s2 , and carmy is said to be in Copenhagen working at NOMA, putting him at 24/25 in this episode.

His cousin Michelle offered for him to come to NYC. So assuming he made the change in the following year that would mean he was at EMP for about 4 years until he has to go back to chicago after his brother dies.

I still dont know where the french laundry or any other of the places or cities carmy has worked at fit into this timeline. I know he leaves his house after high school and doesn't go to college or culinary school i believe so I wonder how he got his start, to be featured in food and wine at 21 and also work at the best restaurant in the world by the time he's 24....insane. i hope we get a clearer picture in upcoming seasons.

back to syd....

So we know about 4/5 years before the start of the story, Sydney and Carmy are in NYC. Sydney is 19/20 and Carmy is 24/25. They have about a 5 year age gap. Therefore Sydney currently is 24/25, possibly 26. And I only say 26 because i cant believe she worked at so many places (including Michelin star restaurants), drove for UPS (or was that when she was at school? after?), started a business, and then had that business fail all in the span of 4 years. crazy. my girl needs a hug

also makes me wonder how far removed she is from Sheridan Road? like when she applies to be a sous chef at the Beef was this something that happened a couple months before? a year?

all things will be clearer with future episodes i guess.

i just find their lives before they met extremly intresting and love how intertwined they are 5 years before they even laid eyes on one another. fated fr

i want a flashback episode of sydney herself but i also think a flashback episode of the day sydney went to EMP would be cool too. Like dual POV we see Carmy being miserable, Sydney becoming inspired. also would be cool if they really played into the fated aspect. have them cross paths without ever meeting. like have Carmy get on the subway the same time sydney leaves it to get off at a stop (SCREAM).

[arandomnerd810]

TADC EP 2 SPOILERS

putting down all my thoughts and stuff i’ve noticed lets gooo

AAAAAAAAAGDEKNSQKDFUNFSIDANIVUFDN OMG IT WAS SO CUTEEEEHKQVSHKUHSQDFKHSDF I LOVED IT SO MUCHHH

i’m gonna speak in periods for the first paragraph since it’s very long but do not get me wrong i don’t wana be serious sounding it’s just to make these paragraphs more readable excuse the rambling

Caine posting section cause he’s my special intrest

satisfaction Caine wise 10/10

first the elephant in the room as Caine’s #1 fan yep still his number one fan! Serial Designation N killed tons of people yet nobody in the fandom cares, and Caine doesn’t get people well so he had no ill intention. rlly my opinion of him has not changed he’s still my silly lil goober no matter what he does. i’ve always known he will do horrible things and been expecting this to happen ever since Pomni gave the idea to bring him to the circus. Gummigoo had a sir pentious like death so i wouldn’t be surprised if we see him again.

he may be an asshole but he’s my asshole ❤️❤️

now that that’s out of the way a little glimpse of Caine angst is all i could have asked for in this ep 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 like cmon everyone has to agree insecure much?

Caine posting over cause my god have i gotten more attached to everyone else aswell! (ofc Caine’s still my fav by far)

satisfaction with everything else 10/10

the fact that this wasn’t censored normally (no wacky sounds or the censor bar) and how Caine reacted with “you can’t say that…” could imply bubble said all of this out loud uncensored which is very funny to me

I love Ragatha she’s so sweet look at her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I wana see where everyone’s friendship goes from here! they are already so adorableeee

still a sucker for found family dynamics

the fact Jax wasn’t here but still was upset is :( as much as i like to bully him, i love him just as much as any other human character. i’m the most interested in his episode cause he’s a mysterious guy( and i may or may not have a sneaking feeling like ill relate to him a little even though our personalities are practically polar opposite)

Kinger is so fatherly auughofewhiuhefvw the fact he’s old enough to have kids and is more likely than not married to Queenie imagine he had kids before coming here they would only be in like middle school ish cause he’s not even that old that’s sad af

GANGLE COLLECTS ANIME FIGURESSSS!! SHES JUST LIKE ME FRRR!

this really makes me want to buy the gangle plushie i’m thinking i’m gonna do it lmaooo

the fact she started crying 😭😭

Zooble wasn’t taking part in the adventure cause they were setting up Kaufmo’s graveee i love him sm

GANGLE ART!!

It’s really funny how chilled out Bubble was here

merch talk timeeee

sneak peaks of the rooms mayhaps?

Let’s just hope there’s only memes around it and not another figure incident….

welp going onto grab the Gangle plushie i’ve decided

real talk i’m actually happy TADC got so popular cause ive made a friend through it already and strengthened old ones since info dumping is the only form of communication my braincells can handle well lmaooo it’s crazy how many of my friends have decided to watch my special interest

[sadist-babypink]

ok so i've watched boarders and here are some of my thoughts on it

a lot of jaheim's problems stem from him not communicating properly

the fact that students beat each other up on the reg and the police doesn't ever get involved is kind of insane. especially since there seems to be video evidence on multiple occasions. i know they keep it on the dl because of the schools reputation and the parents of the perpetrators likely pay off the victims or whatever but its kind of crazy especially since rupert has done some inexcusable shit to people

i like leah's character and her going after that guy and ditching mable was kinda not that impactful because of the little time we had to explore their friendship. they didn't really seem as close as they were made out to be so mable's anger felt misplaced. however i hope leah won't ditch her friends over a guy again and has learned from it cause that would be lazy writing

i feel like bea is joking sometimes (like when she said she wanted the ends experience) but then again it doesn't feel like it which makes her come off as a prick idk i really don't know if i like her or not

they did not show the portrait properly in the show i think and i was wondering wtf leah was talking about until they actually said out loud that it was depicting a slave picking cotton in the last episode but tbf that could've been just me

they all seem a bit dismissive about leah's worries sometimes

they get away with a lot off stuff. like not even detention?

i still don't understand what exactly the headmaster thought happened with carol and omar. did he think she had him strip searched? because shortly after it seems that people actually know rupert was at fault? it was a bit unclear

i love toby lol i hope we get to explore more how smart he actually is in the next season. so much room for character development and him owning up to how intelligent he is. would love it.

also more jaheim being an engineering genius. he seemed to have so much fun with xiang at the robots duel thing

the drug usage isn't unrealistic. rich private school kids are next level when it comes to substance abuse like they don't play

femi pisses me off so bad i've never seen a more unloyal character also his roommate was way too chill about him taking his card like huh i would have flipped i think. then again i kinda like a villianous character who would step on anyone to get what he wants femi just has to get better and less pathetic about it to make me like him

florence is somewhat redeemable and i can see her getting into something with jaheim which would of course cause a rift between her and bea and bea and jaheim. anyways she needs to break up with rupert not like they actually care about each other lol

the diversity team was just two dumb bitches telling each other exactly for half the season. the only actual meaningful thing they did was when they warned the headmaster in episode 5 or 6 i can't remember otherwise most of the shit is so performative which actally makes sense depicting rl

they need a therapist or something on school grounds because WHAT

honestly a school therapist in s2 could lead to intresting plot lines i can already see it especially with carol being the stand-in headmaster now. she'd not give a fuck about patient confidentiality.

bea, flroence and abby three dumb bitches telling each other exaaaccctly

i need leah and abby as friends. no more shit between them in s2 please. abby has already grown a lot.

leahs issue is kind of that she wants justice but then doesn't think about how her actions will impact other people like her little fued with the headmaster directly influencing abby since she will have to leave the school if her father gets fired

the headmaster pisses me off his character is so cold and warm its annoying whatever

omar and dilton needs to happen in some capacity. omar deserves a person who doesn't treat him like shit

xiang has grown on me. that's a real ride or die especially during the paintball thing. hope him and jaheim stay friends

i love toxic dymnamics so omar/rupert needs to happen. that strip search thing was weirdly charged and i really liked omar getting what was actually going on and standing up for himself in a way. they'd be the worst genuienly. it needs to get so bad that it ruins rupert's life. but let omar be happy with dilton or something in the end.

but first of all: someone needs to hit rupert up the head with a frying pan repeatedly to fix whatever is wrong with him because WHAT also preferably have it be jaheim or omar doing the hitting

the rahscals are mad annoying and i wonder if they'll adress the substance/alcohol abuse thing at all

does the secret society actually exist? i feel like dilton made that up to get closer to omar. (or rupert made it up to fuck with him? idk)

hear me out: rupert's brother has the potential to be worse than him. he already does a lot of shit but at the same time he is the perfect student/son from the outside. he'd likely get away with anything. he'd be more the manipulation instead of direct attack type too.

leah showing abby more cultural things would be cute and her coming to lean more into it

in the end all i want is drama in s2. i love messy shit. also harry gilby get on the hotd set and put on that blonde wig you will be cast as daeron targaryen trust.

[sora-of-uranus]

Another issue with S3 is they really could've explored personal stories more (Eddie's relationship with his dad which is disregarded after Sweet briefly expels the Sibunas, and the descendants plot). Instead, they over relied on the romance which caused problems for new characters (KT being considered an obstacle for Peddie) and old ones (Patricia being jealous the entire season and Fabian not having a plot due to a lack of a romantic partner and being paired with Mara at the last minute).

I have no idea how long this has been waiting for me to read cuss I never check my inbox but OMG THIS THIS THIS! especially the relying on romance. So often (even before season 3) romance was used as a driving force for the narative or character arcs and whilst thats great...it gets boring. It's quite a large main cast with side characters being introduced every season. There isn't realllly enough school romance plots that can fit in WITH the mysteries for every character to constantly have this romance plot line. But as you said with Fabian, the writers also don't know what to do with a character once they remove that romantic partner. I think it's espeically hard for the writers to continue writing a compelling and strong character arc once the person is in a relationship. Patrica I think is the best example of this character growth stunting because in season 1 she didn't really have a massive romance arc like in other seasons. her growth happened through her platonic love for Joy sure, and eventually learning to be friends with the sibunas and realising that she CAN trust other people to help her. But no massive romantic love stories. Then eddie comes and as much as I LOVE them her own character growth was pushed back to focus on the romance. and that focus on her growth just never returned in a satisfying way for me. But also your definitly right with Eddies relationship with his dad it was such a complex and tricky relationship that seemed to only cause problems when the narative needed it to. Honestly thats how a lot of the characters negative aspects work, they are fine untill the narative NEEDS them not to be. And no this isn't me trying to say "characters need to constantly be suffering from past issues with no growth" even though as I'm reading it back it kinda sounds like I am, but certain things just don't randomly go away before returning at the same extreme level as when it was before. If they had worked through Eddies relationship with his dad and explored it before them finding a working solution, fantastic, but then they don't need to bring it back up UNLESS something new happens that shifts the peace from before. Imagine if Nina never got over her home sickness but it only popped up every 5 episode. That would feel strange and weird. I would like to add that this isn't me saying that season 3 is awful and that the first two seasons don't also have these issues, but its more prevelant in season 3 and there was less 'intresting 'special' moments to make up for it.

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.

[eggs-and-autism]

a deatiled ecplaination of every anime ive ever watched part 2

part 1 i found talentless nana on a whim after geting bored of my 4th rewatch of school live club. it had simaler genres so i was exited. i dont know how to describe my love forr tn other then the fact i was so enraptered by it that i had to grab my sketchbook partway htough the seires. if you have not watched it DO IT RIGHT NOW, DON RESURCH IT JUST START IT!! !!SPOILERS!! i was so confued on eptisoed one i figured nano was just a weird pronouncaton of nana, even wheen nana was introdcued i just assumed they had the same name lmao; so yea end of ep 1 hit me like a fucking truck. i do not have words to describe my love for the trope of "cute/sweet character was actually putting on an act" for god sake the comic thats held me hostage for the last 4 years had it. as if that wasnt enough the fact even THAT is subverted laster on???? insane! i was ont the edge of me seat every episode. it took me until ep 3 or 4 to clue in on michinana, but i assuemd it wouldnt happen bc that would be bad for michieru. AND THEN THERE WAS THE INTRODUCTION OF JIN. THOUGH MICHIRU. y'all. i had to pause the show to cope. one must understand that TWO "cute character is actually putting on an act" broke my brain. the toxic yuri potenchal there. the "we look like besties/gfs but actually are holdingg eachother at knifpoint at all times" potenchal. the "*just stabbed her and about to do it again *waow shes pretty i wanna kiss her-I MEAN WHAT" potenchal. i was a shell of a man. then jin was reveled and i was once again destryed. littrally wrote in my doodle notbook "SHE IS GAY." as much as i love toxic yuri, i LOVE "yuri where one of them gets the other to question a deeply held beilf on accedent and now the only thing she can think about is her. and she cant even tell if its an exastencal crisis or a crush or fear or hate or all at once. and meanwhile the girl who broke her worldview is just happy to be around her and cares about her and doesnt know she is littrally a murderer." yah. i really love tn. as soon as i was at school again i begged my friend for 3 days straight to watch it and just called my other friend to force him to watch it and it was the only thingi could draw for weeks.

i didnt go out looking for new anime for a while. that is until a saw a video about so calle "loser anime" and decided to watch one of the ones mentioned for shits and giggles.

dress up darling is a bit hellish to watch, but i love it nonetheless. there is so much 2nd hand embarrassment, like actually almost killed me. Marin and gojou are unironically really cute. theres actual chemistry there. i like how at the beginning gojou sees marin as the epitome of what he lacks, she is open about her weird intrests and loved for them. gojou thinks he innately lacks something she has, making it impossible for him to have friends+ interests, but though tout s1 thanks to marins charisma and people starting to see gojous talent he finds more friends and people who appreciate his work. he doesn't innately lack anything and his biggest mistake was entirely giving up on finding friends.

and so it begun, my hobbee of finding anime i herd was bad and watching it to try to find some sort of narrative warrant within it.

so i had enjoined rachies cover of idol for a while without knowing the show it was from. i saw a video saying Oshi no Ko was good but impossible to recommend to anyone, the video said to watch it without knowing what it was about and i was intrigued. and oh my god. this anime dug a whole in my brain. listen most of it was fine and cool and not even boring, but. the first episode. [go watch it for yourself the les you know the better] SPOILERS!! seriously what the fuck kind of ferud bs was going on there. every second of that episode was fucking insane. "why is he to into that idol lol" to "HES FUCKING DEAD??" to "HES REBORN??????" to "HE CAN TALK????" to "freud couldnt even edge to this. straight up EXPLODED. clean up isle, his pants" to "what do you mean you being a girl before you were reborn means our privlaged to suck you moms tits what the actual fuck" to "waow they scared that babysitter" to "they wouldbe so cooked if their mom didnt asume they were smart" to "waow aqua is a lil freak i love him" to "waow shes really intersting and her trama responce allowing her to seced in her carreir while making her feel shalow is intersting" to "SHES FUCKING DEAD???" i ranted to my friend about it for about an hour and my voice was so score from walking laps while screaming about hoe W E R I D some lines were. didnt even bring up other eps. like i said they were fine but wow.

a while into the year i remembered a manga i really liked as a kid had an anime now, AND IT WAS DUBBED!!

i loved new game as a queer kid who would latch on to any media with wlw relationships. the anime was as i expected, same as th books. i didnt dislike it but it was more then a little boring. i think a lot of Kou and Rin's relationship was really queerbaity but ig not bc it got canonized at the end, witch is awesome. i havent watched or read it but hey we take a win. honestly i might pick it up again someday for the nostalgia.

summer 2024. from june to early aug i was on and off watching Hitorijime My Hero. witch. i would not reccomend: ITS NOT THAT BADD but it needs a

MAJOR TW!!: dont watch hitorijime or read my thoughts on if you dont wanna see: sa and victim blaming, grooming depicted in a morally positive light, age gap relationship depicted in a positive light, did i mention sa? theres a lot of it witch happens at various degrees of severity.

and even tough it pissed me off i was demanded to watch it. SPOILERS also ahead!! THE FIRST ARC ALONEE pissed me off so much. idc enough to google their names so hair color timee. ok ok the premiss was actually really cute. brunette dudes childhood friend(ginger) moveds back and has a crush on brunette but has no idea how to confess. brunette is oblivios and ginger is already a quite person so like ok theres a plot there this could be cute. episode 2 ends with ginger kissing brunette after brunette told him to stop and tried to push him off. then this bitch ass ginger threatens to end their friendship if if he cant (AND I QUOTE)"do whatever he wants to him" what gets me about the show is how realistic some of the reactions are. brunette is torn because he cares about their friendship but dosent want to be, like, assaulted more. he plays it off as a joke to keep the peace. i cannot express how accurately this depicts abuse, its what got me to sit tough so much of it. it was uncomfortable to watch but i told myself i would see it as a depiction of abuse and not a romance, because i under that context i genuinely think there may have been something to gleen from this narrative. ginger is mad at brunette for having friends so he threatens to abandon bruntte if he doesnt let him assult him again, and god the reluctant agreement from brunette hurt me. acceptance isnt enough for ginger, hes mad that brunette cant force himself to have feeling for him so ginger insults him in the worst way he can think of and ditches school for 2 days. maybe im projecting. the writing didnt seem to intend for this so come off as manipulative, as something to break down brunette till he accepts this reality. but can you blame me for sympathizing with brunette confiding in his other friend, clearly distressed, and being told in responce that it was his fault.h brunette's friend says hes wrong and brunette is the one who forced ginger to kiss him. i dont think its wrong at all to see brunette 'realize hes been wrong the whole time' and goes to ginger seemingly of his own will; and think this is a story where someone is broken down until desperation or stalkhome leads them to accept their abuse. there's no love there, its not a happy ending and writing about it makes me sick. but its feels realistic. normally i avoid seeing myself in fiction, but i couldn't help but relate to brunette enough where i had to take breaks while watching hmh because it made me sick. and that was the first arc. when i realized the rest of the show would be the student-teacher relationship with a 12 year age gap i decided 7 or so eps in i would drop the anime bc i genuinely couldn't handle it.

hmh moved me emotionally, it was impactful and i didn't want to end my quest for good anime. somewhere out there their had to be a school live! or a talentless nana i haddnt watched yet. i finally figured out how to find the stuff i loved watching! looking though lists for tropes or tags, usually older more underground stuff. its hard to describe but i have a watch-list witch brings us to now. its my junior year and i love anime. heres a list of animes ive watched recently, completed or not, and some thoughts on them!

welcome to the NHK was huge. hell it still is huge. i cant recommend it to anyone but god i will post about it here. (minor spoiler ahead) please i swear the scene where satou goes to take pictures of school girls panties is part of establishing the character its not fansevice i swearrrr. ok but like as awful as that stuff is it genuinely isnt fanservice. when satou is straight up joirking it for like 3 days we dont see what hes looking at, theres like one bit where yamazaki walks into satous house and it looks like misaki is giving him head but like from the top of my head thats all i can think of. when satou does freaky shit hes drawn like a freak! LOOK AT THIS MAN DO YOU THINK WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GOONING ALONG WITH HIM??

I CAN AND WILL TALK ABOUT NHK MORE SOMDAY BC I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON IT!

while stalking a facebook account i saw this image:

it reminded me of discourse i saw in 2022 over if femboy was derogatory to trans women. i see the argument, i really do, but honestly, i(a trans boy) LOVE the femboy/trap trope. first of all: 1st of all i like that feminine guys / gender nonconformity is thought to be generally cool within anime places(like even Facebook lowkey homophobic groups). second of all, i see where people see some "femboys" in anime as tras girl, its based like u do u boo. bu i think aspect of the femboy/trap trope are relatable to transmasc ppl too. for 1, there is literally NO transmasc anime. do not come at me with the guy in wandering son or that one mha character you know damn well thats not what i mean. in my quest for tboy rep i realized how much i realted to femboy characters. i too, constantly get mistaken for a girl and have the ability to embrace it or be upset about it. i will die on this hill but honestly cisgender 'trap' characters are better transmasc rep then any actual transmascs ive seen in anime just bc they are more interesting characters.

all that to say: i stated my teenage romantic comady SNAFU. its really good, very funny. Saika is litttrally me if i played sports. good times.

i also started princess jellyfish! Tsukimi is LITTRALLY ME!! no but for real i love this show i love how Tsukimi isnt conventually atractive. i love seeing her be autistic about jellyfish with her NEET roommates. i love her relationship with her mom.

and to wrap it up, the other day i binge watched another. its incredible and one of the best examples of how horror should be done imo. it doesnt rely on jumpscares, its keeps you on the edge of your seat every episode. SPOILERS AHEAD!!: i love how the veiwer is convinced mei is undead or somthing like that along with Kouichi, and when mei confims shes alive hes even an0olages he(and we) thought otherwise. not only that but i love mei in genrel. i love how she is just a freak and there isnt a lore reason. why does she watch the other students from afar? shes just like that. why is she so pale? shes just like that. shes just a weird little thing. why does she not run when somone is comming at her with a knife??? shes just like that. why does she withold the fact she knows who the dead person is when she could have saved lifes by specking up? she doesnt talk much. the fact she went into the whole exposition of the "i see dead things" bc of her doll eye and thats why she should be trusted to know who the dead person and only withi the last 15 mins of the last ep is like "o also i saw her fall in a lake" ?????? you couldnt have like??? started with that???? god i love her.

[kelin-is-writing]

Hi, I know you hate endevour and his fans..but whay if people like him because of his psycholgy, he is an intresting character..

Honestly, I hate Endeavor but I don’t really care if peoples likes him or not; y’all can like whatever characters you want, it’s really none of my business at the end of the day.

What I don’t like and find embarrassing, it’s rude fans that come into my inbox disguised as Anonymous only to attack me because I hold him accountable for things he has in fact done and for supporting his victims, while not caring about what happens to him.

I mean— Why do you care if 1 out of billion other fans doesn’t like Endeavor (for fair reasons)? It’s just like when bullies in middle school hate on someone for their looks. Like, the other person is allegedly “ugly” and you get mad on a personal level because of it? Very questionable behavior.

If you find him an interesting character, that’s totally fine. I don’t really have any say in it, because patronizing a total stranger is a weird and narcissistic behavior that I won’t engage in.

I just personally don’t like Endeavor nor I think he’s an interesting character, since I don’t really like nor him nor peoples who are like him irl, this because of personal reasons that I won’t disclose on here. It’s really just this 👐🏼

[padfootastic]

I feel like I'm gonna combust.

James dies in fifth year.

What do his parents do? His father works in the DMLE and I have no idea if his mother has a job (can you tell me?). What is their course of action?

Are they going to sue the school for the loss of James or Snape personally? I feel like they have a pretty solid argument for sacking (punishing) dumbledore or sending Snape to Azkaban.

And I that which ever they choose, the would get easily.

Or do they have a big enough heart to forgive Snape, and Dumbledore? Ik Albus hasn't done much wrong, but if a dark curse has been made and used (killing a pureblood- even if it is a blood traitor), dumbledore will be blamed, or could be, right? And they (Potters) would have enough money and power to get their compensation, in whichever way they take it, wouldn't they?

I wonder about Sirius too, but I these are some, that, as far as I know, haven't been asked and it's intresting side for me. Like we know Sirius and lots quality from head to toe but all we know about his parents are that the are old, rich and loving. And that they have a big heart.

hello hello hello! can i just say,,,i love ur questions bc literally the same things go thru my mind lol it’s why i spend so long on worldbuilding (often the unnecessary kind too lol)

let’s take this one by one:

1. i…don’t know of flea was in the DMLE actually? 🤔 wasn’t he a potioneer? and no, i don’t think we have anything for effie but idk why, i like to think she’s a socialite with like. an enchanting business on the side? (v random ik lol but it’s fun) i’m also gonna plead the fifth on this one since i…might include it in the fic and i’ve got a few options i wanna go with there (depending on how i do the macro characterisation for the —are they ruthless, forgiving, more upset than angry etc etc)

2. definitely think they’ll take action against the school, tho, regardless of however they choose to deal w snape personally! they’re def the type to hold authorities responsible for their actions (and lack of) and i do think they’ll push for some outcome pretty hard. idk about getting dumbledore sacked bc,,,if he’s the only one who can keep the school safe during voldy’s rise… not sure that’ll happen.

3. i do err on the side of wealthy potters so i think they’ll have enough money for whichever route they take. i tend to think of them as like…new money types who’ve earned through inventing and travelling? so they earn a lot, and spend on fun things, and it’s a constant cycle. but they don’t have the kind of…historical prestige that the ‘old families’ do tho they enjoy a nice enough reputation.

i haven’t said a lot here, but i do think that a part of them will be diverted towards taking care of sirius as well, because i firmly believe they considered him a second son and they can see how much it’s affecting them and fhey’re the only other ones who get it, right, how devastating the loss of james potter can be. that being said, i find it very, very possible that they’ might ‘die of a broken heart’ and i don’t say that all that lightly. from what we get: james is a surprise child after years of trying to elderly parents. he enjoys a level of pampering and spoiling and unconditional adoration that’s far above the normal avg amount a child gets, imo, and i think after he was born, his parents poured everything of themselves into him. james was effie and flea’s entire world, and they never hesitated in showing it. i totally see them as the kind of overprotective, almost helicopter, parents who panic when their child gets even a scratch on their body—so for him to die? for them to bury their child they wished for so strongly and celebrated as much as they were able to? it’s the definition of heartbreaking. it’s so, so painful, and neither of them would be able to get out of the bed for days or even keep so much as a piece of toast down or do anything, really, for a while.

when they find out the news, effie lets out the most gut wrenching, grief-filled scream, falling to her knees. flea tries to hold onto her but he’s even weaker and both of them just. sink to the ground over their baby boy’s body. not one person had a dry eye around them. no one has seen such a level of shame on dumbledore or mcgonagall’s face before. it might be the first time snape realises the *magnitude* of his actions.

[bluerasbunny]

They talked about ecology and monocultures a little while ago in school and I guess I thought it was intresting, so heres another thing monocultures fuck up. You know, just for fun :)

They're really bad for biodiversity. Both animals and plants have a certain environment they've evolved to live in. If you cut down large parts of a forest and then plant down trees from only one species, all the animals and plants who aren't suited for that forest won't be able to survive there anymore.

This is also not an america only problem.

Here in sweden we are fucking up our forests by clearing large areas and then replanting them as monocultures (so much for sustainable forestry).

Im sure similar things are happening in other countries too. I'd guess it's more common in countries that export materials and stuff from trees

so what is the POINT of replanting if it's just fucking things up!! and its a GLOBAL thing too.... it's so easy to just look into the environment of the area and then plant according to that!! it's so easy!!

its such an easy problem to avoid but somehow people are STILL doing things like this despite the impact on the environment.. i think i read that it was a profit-based thing somewhere, which doesn't at all surprise me, but still so frustrating man!!

i've genuinely never heard of this, i'll need to look into if it's an issue in england as well, but you're right it is pretty interesting!! /gen

[turkeyjournal]

Book review: Killers of a certain age by Deanna Raybourn

Just want to preface there WILL be spoilers so, dont read if you dont want spoilers.

OVERALL RATING: 7.8/10

Brief Descripition: 4 old ladies: Billie, Mary Alice, Helen and Natalie have worked for a secret assasination organzation called 'The museum' and forty years have been assasians. When they each are at the time of their life where they are retiring and decide to go on a cruise ship when all of a sudden the get attacked by The museum...

My Personal Thoughts: To be completly honest, i really enjoyed this book. I had alot of fun reading it and it was super fun. I wondered how they could write an action kind of novel in a book. Like how do you even write action scenes but Raybourn proved me wrong. This book is more a thriller/mystery/action type o book and i seriously suggest people read it. I was gonna give it a 8 but everytime they would mention art and descriptions of the art in the book, especially when at the end when they killed the baroness and at the end when they were trying to kill Vance i just got so bored and confused so it kind of ruined the vibe.

I actually thought i found a spelling error but then i found out that the word 'diffident' is a real word. I thought she was saying different but nevermind she wasnt. So there was no spelling errors which is great. I hate when a book has spelling errors it just looks dumb.

The start of the book, so like the first 50 pages were so bored. I think it had a good plot but i was reading it and just felt bored. But ater the first 50 pages, it was like i was stuck. The story was so intresting and thrilling, i loved how the book described every move. Sometimes the fight scenes in this made no sense, like at the end or example. When Billie was fighting Vance, half way i thought "what the hell is going on" and like "how is that move even humanely possible."

Billie was my favorite charcter. She had this kind of cool macho Sylvester Stallone in tusla king feel. It was cool to see a badass and older women who isnt some weird quiet "ive seen so many things and im so dainty and delicate and misunderstood" type of main charcter. Even her realtionship with Tarverner wasnt all angry and stupid, it was really mature and lovely.

During the time when they had killed Sweeney and Helen paused when shooting i thought that maybe Helen had something she was hiding and couldve done some whole betrayel act and played more into that because alot of back stabbing was happening throughout the story, but thats just my opinons honestly.

Overall, would i read it again? Maybe i could. When i rate things 7-8 usually means i really liked the book but it couldve been better and i MIGHT re read it but not 100% likely to. I think the size of the story was really good and i enjoyed it alot and it wasnt a hard read. It did however take me 2 weeks to actually start reading the book but that was only because i had alot to do with school and midterms. But now that i finally got to read it i thourghouly enjoyed it and i will be suggesting people to read this book aswell. I added an actualy picture of the book because last review looked a little dull so i put thisi to make it look prettier.

[drsycz]

30 DAYS OF AUTISM ACCEPTANCE 2023

Damnit, I forgot about it again. Looks like you're getting another unnecessary long post, guys XD

7 April: Do you have other diagnoses? What are they? Do you think that some could be incorrect?

Yeah, I have one, and it's exactly the reason why I think our local medical system is bullshit. First of all, it was all done in secret. They used my personal files from school and university instead of actually asking me questions, they dragged me in hiding it as "productivity test" so there were no proper diagnosis process, just some old brats whispering behind my back. I even wasn't supposed to know my diagnosis, the only reason why I know what it was - a year later one of the doctors have accidentally left me alone while my files were on his table. And of course, the image of my psychological state and personality, and the diagnosis itself had nothing to do with realty, because they haven't bothered to ask me about any of it. I don't want to even say what my diagnosis was because it's nonsesnse.

8 April: Do you struggle to read long texts or are you one of those people who can read everything with ease (Braille counts too of course)?

Honestly it heavily depends on what kind of text I'm reading. I usually have no problems with reading fiction and pop-science as long as the book is intresting for me personally. However, I can get lost in some scientific articles if they put sources and big massives of data directly into sentences, or simply use too much punctuation marks. It's much easier for me to find information I need if it's put in a numbered list or a table. I'm generally very visual person, so having tables and illustrations is very helpful.

9 April: Did an interest ever turn into an "obsession" for you? If not, do you regularly experience hyperfocus when you engage in your special interest? If nothing applies, tell us about your longest interest, no matter if it's a special interest or not!

Obsessions… Well, they're kinda a part of normal life for me. A friend of mine says that I tend to run in cycles of switching from one special interest to another, when one of them becomes a literal obsession and when it happens, around 80% of our discussions end up being related to this special interest. Each such obsession lasts for at least couple of weeks, and sometimes I have 2-3 obsession at once. However, the overall number of them is very limited.

10 April: Can you understand speech when there is background noise?

No. I can handle a basic amount of noise, but my limit is something like a street in the center of a middle-sized city, where there are cars but traffic jams are rare. Then I start to loose ability to understand what's going on, including speech, and up to being completely disoriented and loosing ability to think conciously.

11 April: If you learned to speak as a child (definition for this post: the ability to use spontaneous speech (mouth words) to communicate in at least two-word sentences), did your ability to speak improve after that, stayed the same, decrease, or did something happen that you can't speak at all anymore now?

I think it generally stayed the same, but I'm more concious now of the fact that I'm actually semi-verbal. I did have situations of loosing ability to speak in my childhood, varying from forgetting particular words to not being able to speak at all, but it never crossed my mind it wasn't common among other kids. The only thing that changed, honestly, is that I now use way more texting because it's easier for me.

12 April: Were/are you in speech therapy? If so, for what? If not, do you think speech therapy could have helped you?

I weren't since the only obvious problem I had is difficulties with the "r" sound (my first language is Russian, where "r" is a very distinct sound), but it's a common problem for children who's first language is some sort of a Slavic language. However I was a unique case because when I was a toddler, I used to growl instead of screaming/crying, and later somehow lost this ability temporarily.

13 April: How important are routines to you? Are your routines more based on time ("I always do this at 6pm!"), on habits ("I always drink from this cup!") or both?

I think it's more habits than time. My parents have never insisted on keeping a stable timetable, and from early childhood I have gained a habit to think more in weeks rather than days: I was attending a couple of various after-class activities since grade 2, and such stuff usually only takes place once or twice a week. I also had very irregular timetable at university, when one day classes start at 8 a.m, but next day they only start at 2 p.m, but it was the same each week, so it has solidifyed this week-by-week mindset.

However, habits and keeping a particular order are important for me. I might not seem the most habitual person from the outside, but in fact it's just some level of flexibility combined with readiness to form several interchangable habits for one thing, and usually I form them slowly one by one. For example, I might have three different routes to get home from work, but it will stressful for me to make a fourth one, and the other three were created one by one and it was stressful each time.

14 April: If you learned to speak as a child, were you a late talker, average age, or did you speak at a really young age?

I think it was average, maybe slightly earlier, but nothing intresting besides the fact that my first word was "grandpa", not "mom" like for majority of kids. However, I had a weird experience with reading. My parents tried to teach me reading when I was around 3-4 years old, but I agressively refused to learn letters. But when they have already given up and left me alone, I somehow managed to learn reading on my own, and it took me a couple of hours sitting alone with a book.

15 April: If you can perceive the facial expression of others and learned to recognise the meaning to a degree, did you learn that in social skills training, by your own "hard work", or was it a mix of both? Are there patterns that you understand intuitively (for example recognising fear because it's not so different from how you behave when you feel fear)? - if this question doesn't apply to you, you have a day off! :)

I can somewhat percieve facial expressions, but I can't say that I learned it conciously. Looks like I have learned to recognise the most basic and clear emotions, like laugh = happiness or screaming = angry, and my mind have just given up on the rest. When watching movies, I can recognise more complex emotions and even analyse characters from psychological point of view, but it doesn't work with real people in most cases.

[tinyshatteredwings]

I noticed a thing. In the lead up to transition, which was a long, odd journey, but not surprising, as I already had those feelings since I was a child, my preferences and views of relationships changed. I used to only be intrested in women. I thought some guys were cute, i'd have crushes on and do roleplays as male anime characters or kpop band guys in mybtrens and early 20's, but i was only ever interested in a real way in women, i only had romantic relationships with women.

As my mental health began to crumble, i looked more toward men, as i thought they were better and i should model myself after them. when they wouldn't accept me as one of them, i started dating/sleeping with men. then when i realized i still wasn't accepted that way, and it still felt horrible to be taken advantage of by them , and knowing no matter how much of a 'cool' and 'not like other girls' girl i was, they still treated me like trash, i just decided to become one of them with hormones and surgery. now that i've been off T 2 months, and i don't give a flip about what anyone thinks...i uhhh.....i don't really find myself interested in men so much anymore.

I find my deep attraction to women has returned. it feels like something i lost long ago, that made me feel a strange ache in my chest when i saw lesbians or even just very close female relationships, in shows, movies, or even in real life. I was jealous of what i used to have. it's the part of me that my mother spent oh so many years trying to correct, because she was afraid of it when i was a child(my parents are in a religious cult) and when it turned out to be real she waged a full on assault to make me straight.but the sweetest moments i had, were with women i loved, or when i was laying on my bed, wistfully remembering our conversations, writing poetry about them, exchanging hugs and love letters with my girlfriend in the halls at school. i ended up in tragic romances later on in life, with closeted christian girls, who kept me a dirty secret.i guess because it was familiar, and maybe i didn't think i deserved better? i think more than that, i saw myself in them and i wanted to help them, assumed if they had support, then they could come out too, and be themselves, if i just held their hand, waited, loved them, and didn't push anything, they could end their closeted misery and know they weren't alone, because i wish i had someone to shield me from what happened to me when my parents found out.

i can't be sad about how much time i wasted with them, because it wasn't wasted. the ending was sad, the story was tumultuous, but it was beautiful, and full of real love, and caring all throughout. and god knows how much time i wasted wallowing in my tragedy, trying to be a man. but even so, it taught me a lot. it broke me of much of my fragility, and insecurity. so i suppose, i've come out the other side of all of this knowing who i am much better than before. therapists couldn't quite help me with it, but through these trials of fire i've really had to face my demons, and my past, in a way no one else was able to dig deep enough and confront me with in the way i needed.

anyway this all came because i was happy that i feel this blossoming warmth in my chest about being attracted to women, something i was scared and ashamed of before. something i thought i had burned off of me and thrown away.

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

Also thank you for the notes, handwriting is an cool thing

Your "K" is intresting, I feel like even when it's written lowercase it still looks uppercase which makes it stick out, very cool

I write in pen too, we weren't allowed to write in pencil either, in fact most german schools require you to use fountain pens from first grade on, you can switch to normal pen later when they get looser with it

I'm not sure about the translation, so here's an added image: https://www.pollypaper.de/cdn/shop/products/A1F44765-A2F3-45AD-84C3-79ADD09B5540_large.jpeg?v=1566282294

I had a shiny metal purple one of these first and then the blue one in the picture when I lost that one and then the not shiny black one when I lost that one too, I found all of them later and then I just had three of them

And to maybe give a little more context about the handwriting ask, I thought about it because one of my current courses in school is physics and I write admittedly shitty cursive, but the cursive uppercase "E" looks like epsilon which is the symbol for the electric field constant

Uppercase "E" is the charge of an electron, these are two things that are probably gonna be used on the same page at some point so my uppercase "E" is the only letter I don't write in cursive at all anymore and that stuck out to me so I thought about if that could happen in other fields

And since you do chemistry I wanted to ask

-Leuchtturm

Woahhh, pretty pens, and ooooo gotcha

And uppercase E being charge of an electron feels so cursed 😭

Faraday's constant is electric charge per mole of electrons. F*N_a (Avogadro's number = number of particles/atoms/molecules in one mole) which equals e, elementary charge sldkfj. It'd just be negative for electrons. With what I've learned so far, we don't have a specific symbol for electron charge itself.

But yet again I hate physics so maybe it's just my ultimate rival trying to hate me even more </3333

But with the k thing, I think my k's are weird just bc I'm weird sdlfjs. The only k I can recall for science is kinetic energy for k.e. or the constant in Coulomb's law but I'm sure there's other physics things with k too

[laur1221]

Hello, how are you!? Hopefully fine. Okay so before i began my reading I also want to just say that I'm still a beginner so pardon me if anything's wrong and let me know through feedback so I can improve. All of this is based on institution!!

My question is-> How would the first meeting with my fs be like!?

I'm Jasmine, capricorn-sun, virgo-moon and Taurus-rising. She/her intrested in men.

Also i sense a man here but if you are interested in women i apologise you can tell me and I'll redo everything again just incase..!!

𐙚༉‧₊˚- A little aesthetic infound related to you...

Okay for your answer, idk why i felt that you've already met him!? Might actually be even in a relationship but doesn't has to be tbh but i sensed that he's already in your life and you might've met him in school or college or it could also also be that you'll meet his at a music consert!? Idk why like some sortvof festival came to my mind or somewhere out like when you are hanging out with your friends i guess. There could be attraction from both end in the first meeting only like he just gets your vibe and you get his, i think he'd be masculine physically and emotionally femine means he doesn't seem the arrogant type of men, like someone who's intouch with their emotions and aren't afraid to show them. I don't really see any toxic masculinity here, rather calm , collected, and like he just loves you a lot. He might also like spoiling you like getting you out to shopping, and all. I also sense out of both of you, you are more fashionable and put efforts on how you look like idk why the game "dress to impress" was coming to my mind lol so maybe you might like layering your outfits or just love wearing girly, y2k clothes in general, especially light colours and pink!? Like you put efforts in how you look, you might like doing makeup, and dressing up, also i sense that you could be a lot of extroverted than he is!? You could have grown up near aa water body or might have a thing for beaches!? I was also getting something about texas or Los Angeles, California. Also it seems like fashion is important to you, you might like to have peaceful life with your lover, i don't really see you wanting to he in a City tbh i see much more greenery and also he seems very much like take carw of himself not maybe after you coming into his life hhe might have a more glowup or take more care of themselves than they already were. He seems soft-spoken. I also sense they might've been with shy on their first meet or were just like adoring and listening to you..i do sense some type of glances of love like you are speaking and he's looking like she's so pretty and just a very calm vibe. I also think you'd be each other bestfriends too like sharing with each other, loving each other and just being each other's support system through the highs and lows. Cuddles.. kisses and yk.. could be very common. I also think he might have job related to like IT industry or maybe he owns a business!? Or thinks about it perhaps and i also think you might not have started/start dating just directly like you took your time and thenbit into it. Also i sense some traditional mindset here it either could be you or him or just growing up in that environment. Also he might really have found you attractive on your first meet or will find attractive and think how you are yourself and confident within themselves deep down..i also sense an anxiety like wondering if you'll give them a chance or not or like where this meet might take will you exchange something!? Meet again or what exactly might happen. Well that's all i could give I'm sorry i drifted from the original question it's just that i wrote whatever I was receiving and tried my best. I'm so sorry if it's not the right exachange!! 😭

thankyou so much, hope you have an amazing day ahead!! Appreciate your time, energy and efforts 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

Hello! Thank you so much for your patience and kindness!! I really appreciated the kind message you put in my inbox! Also the reading resonated super well with me!!! Btw I’m from Texas so it’s cool you channeled that!!! I’m not in a relationship yet and am not aware who my Fs is but I know they are close. I will find out soon!

Before your reading here is a moodboard of your vibe:

I think you’ll meet them at a time of having had a major personal transformation where you have a lot of growth, new wisdom, physical and mental glow up(I’m thinking it is a stronger self care routine), and just a lot of personal abundance grown. I think you’ll meet them when you are exploring your options in love after this transformation. It will be a turn you are happy and strong by yourself but you wish to explore love options. I think at the time you’ll be looking for a partner who helps either your growth. Someone who can provide what you need rather than just what you can do for them. I think you’ll meet your FS while your out like at a public function to meet partners like a bar, blind date, group date, friends party. I think they might be introduced to you by someone your close with I’m thinking a friend and/or family member around your age. I think you meet them when you’re really at peace with yourself and others. You won’t stay with what doesn’t serve you and you protect yourself accordingly. I think your Fs will feel like you’re very strong, high achieving, bold,abundant, stable, explorative and maybe a bit creative and unique (that’s a good thing). I think they’ll like obervubg you a bit the first time they meet you like how you interact with the world however they are not shy to interact with you. I think they would take action to convey their interest in communicating with you. I think you’ll be very much subconsciously drawn to your FS the first time you meet them. You’ll be magnetized to them. They intrigue you. I think they are someone kind of solitary, strong and stern (very earthy) but adaptable and graceful (like good manners and polite. Knows how to hold a good quality conversation) as well.

Sorry this is like 200words shorter than what you gave me. If you have another question I’m happy to answer that!!

Hope this resonates 💖💖💖 thanks for participating😊

[ferrn0]

REGARDING POSTING

heads up / TW: this looks at personal stuff + vent(? sorta) ALSO this is not super important / not essential for you to read

TL;DR:

less posting due to massive lack of motivation

want to post more and take art serious but its hard

could be depression or hormones idk dont know what to do

overthinking lots -> dont know why this is happening

crave regular change but havent had it + difficult to get change bc of parents -> maybe this is why??

going to try my best not to stress abt it

do not worry about me, im going to be okay

i havent been posting much proper/ finished/ full art ( not sketches ) because ive been really struggling with motivation this year. For all i know, it could be a depression(?) thing or perhaps hormones ( i have a uterus unfortunately) or maybe it just comes down to ADHD.. i do take medication for adhd but they dont really do much regarding dopamine so my motivation is still kinda low even when i take the meds. I really want to be posting proper art and i want to take my art more seriously however, without motivation its really difficult. Im finding myslef slipping back into what feels like a depressive mindset. kind of. yet, im super happy in so many aspects of my life where i used to be affected by this mindset. I have found a better group of people to be around ive found more things i want to do and ive got goals for the year- i didnt have those this time last year. And now.. my creativity has been affected and i dont know what to do.

-

I feel guilty for not posting. Or maybe i feel frustrated that i dont post (which leaves me with noone seeing my work). Either way, i want to post. but i cant get myself to.

this leaves me thinking...

"maybe i just need to improve my skills"

"maybe im not putting enpugh effort in, what if im just not 'trust(ing) the process' enough"

"i might need to just try a new medium"

"maybe i need a new intrest or fandom to join so i can make fanart"

"what if i was just qrong my whole life and im not cut out to be an artist?"

"perhaps theres something else wrong with me and thats why i cant get myself to do things"

And this circles round and round. So what do i do about it?? should i just take a break and not focus on posting? but i already do that anyway! do i just try to do a month long or a week long challenge? but i always miss days and eventually give up!

The more i write about this the more i realise i am not okay. and that im getting worked up over a small thing. but i am miniscule and to me this small thing is ginormous.

-

i am a kind of person who craves change. but only when i want it. And i have gone a very long time without the kind of change i need in my immediate environment. so maybe thats the issue. but i happen to be a child. who lives with his parents. so that causes some problems, dont it? not that my parents are horrible people or incredibly unfair. but because they have their own ideas of how we (me and my brothers) should grow up and what sort of privileges we get ect. because they are my parents. My parents believe that we should each have atleast one physical out-of-school activity we do each week. I do basketball. and i have been since i was in grade 5. its been almost 5 years. dont get me wrong, i love the game and i love playing it. but i find myself dreading going to each game everyweek. i need change. i want to quit bball. i also do drama classes each week(since yr 6/7)- but i like that. and i dont want to quit. because its different every week, every year. My bedroom has also been that same for the past 3 or so years, yes i have moved things around, but the furniture hasnt changed, and the walls have been the same colour with the same wall stickers since we moved in when i was in year 1. I spend a lot of time in here(my room) and it doesnt feel like mine anymore.

-

TW- eating

my medication for ADHD gives me a smaller to no appetite during the day. I no longer bring much or anything to school to eat. i dont really eat breakfast either(but i did that before i got meds anyway). I still eat dinner everyday, just a little less that i used to. and i will eat lunch (depending on situation) during the holidays and weekends mostly because it ends up getting made dor me half the time. i do suspect the rather sudden change un my eating habbits might be affecting me. but nothing terrible has happened to me yet(i have lost a few kgs but that isnt worrying as i was a little overweight beforehand). perhaps this is affecting my motivation too. but who i am to know for sure?.

END OF TW

-

i think i will just continue as i have been. but i will try my best to not worry myself over not posting. although i cannot make any garantees. not many people follow or interact with me here so i doubt this will cause too many concerns but if it does, please do not worry. i will be okay. i am working on myself.

I apologise to those who want/wanted to see my work more/more often. i hope this all makes sense and that you can understand ♡

with sillies,

thomas[FERRN0]