#I think Lucifer could definitely go ‘well. Dean would do this. but he’s not here and we are.’ and Jack would Believe him. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fandomtherapy44 · 1 month ago

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Castiel x reader Chapter 18: The End

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

WC:7.242k

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Emotional hurt for Y/n, Guns, Talk about Alcohol

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About a week passed, and Dean was blowing up my phone with voicemails and texts with apologies. I listened to and read them all, but I couldn't talk to him, not yet. I left Ellen and Jo to have space to think about what Dean had said and they understood. Ellen and Jo still checked in with me by giving me a call.

“Hey sweetie, how are you doing?” Ellen asked. I sat down on my bed with a beer in hand, thinking about what to say.

“To be honest, Ellen, I don’t know…I mean my whole life, he’s been mine… I just can’t believe he said that about Sam and our family.” She took in my words and tried to find the best to return back with.

“I know, I think Dean doesn’t understand all that he said either.” I sigh and lay back on my bed with a big flop.

“Yeah doesn’t mean it doesnt hurt.” I sniff and let a tear fall.

“Y/n…I'm sorry, I want you to know if you ever need anything Jo and I will be there.” That brings a small smile to my face.

“Thanks El, I'll talk to you later.” I hang up from her and just sit there and I get a text. “Call if you need anything :) -Jo”

It was amazing to have them, it was almost like having a moth-. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. “Hey, Cas. Any updates?”

“The colt.” He responded, plainly.

“The colt that we lost?” I questioned, sipping my beer.

“It’s the only thing that could kill Lucifer, Y/n. And if you three still want to kill him, that's how we do it.”

“Have any leads?” I ask.

“Where are you now?”

“Kansas city. Rev Motel, room 444”

“Good, I’ll be right there.”

“Cas, wait, I need sleep. Can we meet in like four hours?”

“Okay, four hours.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

I went to sleep but not even an hour later I got a call. It was Sam. I answered instantly.

“Sam?”

“Hey N/n, how are you doing?”

I didn’t know how to tell him so I did something I hate doing. I lied.

“Uh…good. You?”

“No, I’m not, I’m I- I’m…the vessel for Lucifer.” That makes me shoot straight up in bed.

“What!?” I replied.

“Yeah, he told me all Freddy Krueger style.” I think about it, and it makes sense with the whole prophecy thing.

“Okay. Well then we will take this on like any other thing. I’ll send you my location.”

He pauses and I can almost make out mumbles, “Really just like that.”

“Yeah of course Sam, Why?” I retort.

He sighs and breathes in deeply. “I told Dean, and he said we would be better apart.”

The anger courses through me like a storm. But I didn’t want to upset Sam anymore. I had been going through the same feelings as him. “I'm sorry Sam, it seems Dean has been a jerk to both of us, just call me when you're on your way, kay?”

“Kay, love you Y/n.”

“Love you too Sam.”

I hung up the phone and crawled back into bed feeling uneasy, like pieces of myself were missing, like I wasn’t whole. I knew what was, but I couldn't force Dean to be here if he didn’t want to be, just like Dad.

Tweet tweet. I slowly opened my eyes and there was a bird in front of me? I fully open them and as my vision clears from sleep. I think I’m still dreaming because my whole room looks like Edward Scissorhands wanted to be a room designer. I got up from the broken bed and everything was tattered and filthy. I put my head outside the window and the whole street looked like it had been abandoned for ten years. I went outside and it was definitely eerie. I felt like I was transported into a zombie movie. I see an old newspaper case and grab one out.

“OUTBREAK NOW HITS KANSAS CITY, WHERE DO WE GO NOW?” My eyes then wandered down to the date. “January 15th, 2014.” What the fuck?

I started to walk down the street trying to gather what was happening. I then walk down an alley and see Dean.

“Dean?” He turns to me and grabs to hug me. I forget what had been said but for just that moment. I then glance over his shoulder and see a little girl, out cold.

“Did you punch a child out?” He looked between him and the girl and saw how bad it looked.

“The little psycho pulled a knife on me!” I'm about to respond when my head turns and I see the one word I wasn’t expecting.

“CROATOAN”

“Oh shit!” At that, a lot of people spawn out of nowhere, all of them affected by something.

“Run?”

“Run!” Dean agrees with me and we both book it down the street, and holy fuck the affected were like fast zombies. We hit a dead end and are about to be pounced on when the military comes out of nowhere and shoots them all down, miraculously missing us. We parted the barbed wire to clear a fence and begin walking.

“So?” Dean questions.

“Yeah, so what the hell are we doing in 2014!?” I blurt out anxiously. Dean stops me.

“We’re in 2014!?” He utters, reciprocating my fear. I just shake my head.

“Okay, I think we should go to Bobby’s. You?” He asked me, staring intently into my eyes. I couldn't return his gaze.

“Sounds good.” I responded coldly and Dean knew why.

I managed to hotwire a car and we were on our way. A stale silence filled the car which never happened; there was usually talking or music, but not now. With Dean gripping the steering wheel, he finally said the words that had been on his mind for the last hour.

“So, are we going to talk?”

I don’t even look at him. “About what?”

“You know what, Y/n I really am sor-” I stopped him at that.

“Dean, we are currently trapped in 2014 with a deadly virus on our asses, I don’t know, could we maybe pause that conversation till we figure it out after?” I never stalled a chance for us to apologize to each other. That's how he knew he really screwed up.

“Of course.” A couple more seconds and we get the living daylights sacred out of us.

“AHH FUCK!” Dean had the same response and there was Zachariah sitting there, smugly. I should of fucking known.

"Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." He reads off from a newspaper headline.

“I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.” Dean quipped at him.

“‘President Palin defends bombing of Houston.’ Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me.”

“How did you find us?” I painfully asked him. I didn’t want to look at the fuckface.

“Nice to see you too, Y/n. Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants. We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your guy’s image, told to keep an eye out.” I think and I know who it was.

“The Nun selling the flowers! That bitch, and to think I bought daisies from her.” I said, shaking my head in annoyance.

“The Bible freak outside the motel—they, what, dropped a dime on us?” Dean said.

“Onward, Christian soldiers.” Zach replied.

“Okay, well, good, great. You have had your jollies. Now send us back, you son of a bitch.” Dean commanded.

“Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit.” Zach said, amused. I look back to wanting to smack him.

“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?”

“Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you.” Zach then looks at me.

“And for you, really think if you don’t let your brothers fulfill their prophecy, see what happens.”

At that Dean and I looked at each other, thinking, what were we going to see?

I kick the door open to Bobby’s house.

“Bobby! Bobby!”

Dean and I go in searching for any sign of Bobby. Sadly, his house looked like everywhere else. The nail in the coffin was just an empty wheelchair in the middle of the hallway covered in cobwebs and dust on its side with bullet holes and dried blood. It had been sitting there for years.

“Bobby…”

Dean goes to the fire mantel and picks up an old picture of a group of men. One of them was Bobby but strangely, another was Cas. Dean points at the photo.

“Camp Chitaqua.”

We had gotten to the camp and we had sneaked in. A few steps in and we see a horrible thing- well, at least to Dean. It was Baby. Most of her parts were missing- wheels gone and greenery growing out of it. Dean sticks his head in the open car.

“Oh, no, Baby, what did they do to you?”

I hear some rustling and before I know it Dean has been knocked out. I tried to run but it was too late.

A gun cocks. “Turn around, slowly.”

I do and I see my brother, lying unconscious on the ground.

“Dean?” I ask, staring in shock at the man before me, who looks exactly like Dean, but a bit older and before I knew it I was out too.

Future Dean’s cabin had its essentials: guns, food, and liquor. My Dean was still knocked out and handcuffed. I was too smart, because we are all Winchesters, after all.

“So should we talk-” I was stopped because future Dean was giving me the death stare.

“Okay, won’t talk. Got it.” He just sits and stares at me.

“Do I have something on my face or-”

“I need your arm.” He doesn't give me a chance and just grabs it.

“Hey! HEY!” He pulls out a silver knife and makes a cut in my arm. “OW! You could have at least given me a second!”

He stands up and grabs a flask. “We don’t have the luxury of seconds anymore.”

I can’t even respond because Holy water gets thrown in my face. I spit it out.

“I'm not a monster and neither is he.” I nod to my Dean.

“I know.” He said and for a reason there is a tiny bit of sadness behind it.

“How did you two end up here?”

“Fucking Zach.” I say with heavy disdain. Dean chuckles and mumbles something I couldn't hear. “I'm from 2009.”

“If you were my sister, tell me something we would only know.” Future Dean questions.

I think for a moment and come up with the perfect thing. “My first date stood me up, so you picked me up and we egged his house. You told me that he was an idiot and that you would always… be there for me.” I finish with a small smile thinking about one of the few good memories from my childhood all because of… Dean.

“Yeah, I wanted to throw it at his car, but you said that was too far and I remember being happy that you still cared.” Dean said looking down at his hands with a hint of melancholy to his voice. Which made me curious.

At that moment my Dean wakes up. “Y/n! Y/n!”

“Dean, I'm okay! So are you.” My Dean looked at Future Dean and a look of horror consumed his face. This was getting too confusing. I decided to call my Dean by his name and the future one DD. It was a nickname I had for him when I was little.

“I know Zach threw you guys here. Where is he? I want to talk to him.” DD asked Dean.

“We don’t know.” Dean answered for us.

“So, what, Zach zapped you two up here to see how bad it gets?”

“I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?” Dean asked DD. I mean it has to be right?! I wondered.

“It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that.” Two years ago? Then where the Hell is Sam? My thoughts raced.

“Then what about Sam?” Dean had the same question as me, rightly so.

DD is silent for a second. You could see the cogs turning in his head as he thought about how to respond.

“Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it.” Dean and I widened our eyes at that news.

“What happened?” I questioned, scared for the answer.

“No. No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years,” DD replied. I look between DD and Dean. So that is what happens. Why didn't I try to connect us together?

“What about me?” I ask, concerned. DD turns his head and puts it down in shame.

“I haven't seen you in five years, N/n.” At that, DD starts to leave.

“Wait, wait! What’s that supposed to mean?” I tried to grab his attention because that short explanation was not good enough, especially considering the situation we were in.

“It means that we…I haven’t seen you for five years.” He stops the conversation there, grabs his stuff and turns to Dean.

“Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man. Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?” Dean said to DD, very offended. DD looks between the two of us.

“You're right, I'm sorry.” He goes and grabs a pair of handcuffs and secures them on my wrists.

“Hey, that's not fair!” I reply, trying to defend myself.

DD turns to me and gives a look, as if to say, “Really?”

“Okay, fair.” DD rolls his eyes and leaves the cabin. Dean and I look at each other.

“How the hell are we always short sighted in our own Back to the Future movies?” I asked Dean.

“I don’t know, Y/n, maybe Marty McFly screwed the system for us.” Dean used a nail he quickly pulled out from the floor board, unlocked his cuffs, and threw me the nail. I followed suit, while Dean started to leave.

“Uh, where do you think you're going?”

“I'm going to check out all this!” He pointed outside.

“What about everyone else seeing doubles?” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Oh please, with the world they live in, I think they will be okay. Are you going to come?”

I looked around and decided that I needed to uncover a little more in here. “I'm going to look around in here.”

“Okay I'll be back in an hour.” He opened the door, glanced around, and snuck out.

I stand up. Let's just say the cabin did not have much charm to it. “Okay, time to Scooby Doo this bitch.”

I had been looking around for about thirty minutes and I had found nothing, just six guns and eight empty booze bottles, which was typical of Dean. As I walked around the room, a floorboard creaked. “Uh huh, still the same hiding spot from when you were a teen Dean.” I kneel down and pry the board open to find a brown leather journal that looks identical to our Dad’s. I picked it up and started to go through it. Usually I wouldn’t do this, but DD is definitely hiding something important.

“It's been a year since this damn breakout started. Bobby and I tried to defend Sioux Falls the best we could but we had to leave. The Croatans are never ending and basically are super powered. I haven’t really gotten sleep. The only aid I get is from a bottle if I'm lucky enough to find one. It's the only reason why I won’t have nightmares about what happened…”

I began to filp the page to continue reading but before I could I heard Dean scream followed by a gunshot. I dropped the journal and ran out the door and towards the sound. I see a clearing and Dean and DD standing there with a dead dude on the ground. Other people were staring at Dean like it was The Parent Trap.

“Dean! Are you okay!?” I ran to his side.

“Yeah I’m fine, but he isn't.” He glanced down to the poor sap.

“Who shot him?” I questioned and at that time I noticed everyone looking at me even weirder than the twins.

“Uh, my twin.” Dean responded.

Then I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to see Cas standing before me.

“Cas?” He just stares in my eyes and I see so much pain and sorrow behind them. He pulls me in for a deep and strong hug, even stronger than when he hugged me after he came back from the dead.

“Cas are you okay?” I squeeze back.

We let go and he gives me a chilling response:

“Y/n, you've been dead for five years.”

I somehow found myself back in the cabin, my whole world turned upside down. Dean and I were silent, thinking about what was just uncovered. DD was just standing there silently.

“So, you want to say something DD?”

He looks at me with emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. “You haven’t called me that since you were eight.”

“Yeah it’s a little too The Parent Trap to call you both Dean. Let’s move on from childhood names and tell me, how the hell am I dead, and why didn't you tell us?” I declared, crossing my arms. I had no way of regulating my feelings more than I usually do.

DD sighs and looks down and Dean and I are waiting. “Five years ago you died in Detroit, that's the day I regretted not saying yes.” He turns to Dean.

“That’s why you have to say yes.” Dean stared at DD.

“How do I die?” I asked.

“I don’t remember, no one does.” He poured a tall glass of whiskey.

“What do you mean you don’t remember!?” I slammed my hands down on the table in confusion and anger.

“I mean that no one remembers how it happens. Maybe it was from trauma or the Angels but we all can’t remember shit about that day.” He finished by gulping down the drink. I had to get some air, so I headed outside.

I started walking while everyone looked at me like they were seeing a ghost. Technically, they were. I didn't even realize that my legs were running till I got to a clearing where I was far enough away that I could think straight. I leaned my back against a big tall pine tree, letting myself slide down to the stump. I tried to catch my breath in the cold air, and it was obvious that I wasn’t doing a good job. As I exhaled, my breath looked like a white plume of smoke. Thousands of thoughts ran through my head, none of them stopping to drink water.

“Hey, are you okay?” A deep scruffy voice asked from the other side of the tree. I didn't need to turn to see who the owner of the voice was. It might have sounded a little strained and hoarse, but I knew it was my best friend. I got up, slowly trying not to stumble while ignoring the oncoming headache.

“To be honest, Cas, no. I mean, how are you supposed to react when you die in almost a year?” I put my hand on my head trying to calm it.

“It’s been five years for me, the worst five years.” He sits down on a stomp and takes out an old pack of cigs that looks about ten years old. He lights one up and breathes it in and blows out a long puff of smoke. I went to sit down next to him.

“Since when do you smoke?” I waited for an answer and just took a good look at him. He was still handsome as ever, but looked aged and scared in more than one way.

“Since you died and the world went to shit.” He throws the cig and then he takes out a small flask, immediately throwing it back like he couldn't be without a substance for more than a couple of seconds. I hated seeing him like this.

“Do you remember how I-” I hesitated to continue. not wanting to speak it in existence more than it had.

“How you die? No, I don’t, like everyone else.” He offered me the flask and I thought, what the hell. I take it and drink it back.

“Ugh that tastes disgusting- it’s like old peach schnapps.” I pulled it from my mouth and spit it out on the ground.

He takes it back, smiling. “That's ‘cause it is, Y/n. Not many stores in the apocalypse, but as long as it gets me drunk I don’t care.” He then again drinks it back like it’s nothing, telling me he’s had a lot of practice.

“So what happened after I… died.”

“Well, the Angels had their fun letting the Croats and demons run around after the planet was barely spinning. We've been trying to save what’s left.” I hadn’t heard such a hopeless sentence for a long time. Then I realized something that should be so obvious.

“Cas… You're not an Angel anymore, are you.” He chuckles at that.

“N/n, always so smart. Yeah, I lost my wings a long time ago. I think it had something to do with the others leaving. I don’t know. So, I'm useless.” He drank again.

“Useless?”

“Yeah, useless, I couldn’t even… save you.” He says, full of regret and disdain.

“Cas, you have never been useless, even after losing your wings, despite what you think. You are useful just being you! Don’t blame yourself for what happened. I can tell you, even though for me it hasn’t happened yet, it wasn’t your fault.”

He turns to me and gives me a real smile.

“I missed that.”

“Missed what?”

“Missed you pulling me from hell, no matter what.”

Cas and I walked back to the cabin. When we arrived, everyone was having a meeting and the colt was in the middle of the table.

“Is that the colt!?” I asked, surprised, and sat down. Cas looked curious as well.

Both DD and Dean stared at me as how to I was doing.

‘How are you doing?” Dean whispered to me.

“I…” I didn't really know.

“So, that's it? That's the Colt?” Risa questioned.

“If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it.” DD responded holding up the gun confidently.

“Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?” Risa threw back with attitude and she did have a good question.

“Are you okay?” DD was confused.

“Oh, we were in, uh, Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.” Dean told DD and I had to try to hold back my laughter.

“We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew,” DD stated.

“Are we really trusting a demon?” I just couldn't believe Dean, especially that this Dean (DD) would take a demon's word truthfully.

“ Y/n our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.” Cas said and I could tell he was sad saying it.

“Torture? Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again. No, that's—that's good. Classy.” Dean said in disbelief to DD.

Cas laughs at that and DD gives him a look.

“What? I like past you.” Cas riposted back.

“Lucifer is here. Now. I know the block and I know the building.” DD brought out a map and a block was circled.

“Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone.” Cas clearly pointed out.

“Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?” DD replied.

“Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe,” Cas stated.

“Are you coming?”

“Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?” Cas was right- I should technically be dead- but not him.

“He's coming.” DD commanded firmly.

Cas is done with DD’s bullshit and just agrees to halt the conversation. “Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving.” Him and Risa leave.

“Why are you taking us?” Dean asked DD. DD reloads his gun, looking down.

“Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?”

“No, that's not what I mean. I want to know what's going on.” Dean was right.

“Yeah, I second that.” I chimed in.

“Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother.”

“Sam’s dead like me right…?” I asked, hesitantly. DD looks into my eyes and sighs and then turns to Dean.

“Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'.”

“Wait. You mean—”

“That's right. The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom.”

“Why in the hell would Sam do that? It makes no sense.” I wondered, voicing my thoughts.

“I don’t know why N/n, but now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it differently.”

“What do you mean?”

“Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To ‘09?”

“When you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael.” DD was chest to chest with Dean, pleading with him.

“If Dean does that then Michael and Lucifer will smoke half the planet.”

“AT LEAST YOU’LL BE ALIVE!” DD yelled, finally letting his anger out.

“Look around you, man. Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. Your sister can still be alive. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat.” DD continued.

“So why don't you?” Dean asked.

“I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—” DD went on.

“Oh, no. There's got to be another way,” Dean interrupted.

“Yeah, that's what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes. So our sister can live.”

I get in a truck with Cas to head to the site where Sam supposedly is. It’s so weird to see him driving, but I liked it. He takes out a bottle of pills and takes a couple.

“Pills? What the hell are those?” I nod my head to the bottle.

“Amphetamines, you want some?” Cas easily said, without regard. My stomach dropped.

“Sure.” I give a sweet smile, prompting Cas to hand me the bottle. I proceeded to roll down the window and threw the bottle out.

“WHAT THE HELL Y/N? Do you know how hard it is to find those?” Cas tried to focus on the road and not to turn back.

“No I don’t, and I don’t care.”

“Why!? Why would you do that?”

“Because you're not being you!”

“What does that even mean!” He exclaimed, hitting the wheel, turning to glare at me quickly before looking back at the road.

“The Cas I know would never get high and drink!”

“I'm not the Cas you know or knew I don’t really know but after you died… I couldn't, I just couldn't.”

“Cas, listen to me. After this, go somewhere for me.”

He looked to me. “Where?”

“Go see the Northern lights.”

“Why there?”

“I never got to go and probably never will, so you go for me. I don’t want you to be sad, I want you to get the full human experience, feel sad, and mad... and love. Feel for me, because I can’t bear to see a shell of you. Just promise me, okay?” I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.

“Okay, I promise.”

We had gotten to the site and it was an old repair building. DD started telling us the plan.

“There. Second-floor window. We go in there.” He pointed up to the building. He said this as if it was easy to accomplish.

“You sure about this?” Risa rightfully questioned.

“They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five.” This is too easy and fishy, I thought. He’s lying.

“Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?” Dean nodded at DD.

I get up to go with them. “Tell me what's going on.”

“What?” Dean in any timeline can be such a bad liar.

“DD, you forget that I have been with you our entire lives. What the fuck are you planning?” I pointed at his chest.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” DD rebutted back.

“Oh, really? Well, we don't seem to be the only members of your party with some questions, so, uh, maybe we will just take our doubts over to them.” Dean and I started to walk away.

“Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Take a look around you, guys. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?” He said, holding us back by the collars of our shirts.

“They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—”

“A fucking trap. Then we can’t go through the front!” I concluded.

“Oh, we're not. They are. They're the decoys. We're going in through the back, us three.” My jaw dropped at what DD suggested.

“You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?”

DD looks away in shame.

“Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends.” That's when DD snaps.

“You're right. You wouldn't. Maybe seeing that your SISTER DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS CHANGES THAT!” He screamed at Dean and his eyes floated to me in the tension. Dean and I turned to each other, knowing we had to go warn the rest of our party.

“These people count on you. They trust you.” Dean tried to counter.

“They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.” DD replied coldly and hopelessly.

“No. Not like this, you're not. We are not gonna let you.” We start walking away and suddenly, Dean is knocked out.

I gasped and turned to DD. “DD please, I know you don’t want to do this, I know you don’t want to kill your friends, Castiel, just to kill the devil.” I was backed up against a tree as DD came closer.

“Y/n, I want to trust me (Dean). Like you said, you know me, but I can’t let him keep living. Not after having you die ‘cause of it. I really am sorry.” I didn’t get another word until the handle of DD’s shotgun went into my head.

I slowly start waking up to the sound of lots of gunfire. I stumble to get up. I was pretty sure I had a concussion. Everything is a little blurry and tilted. Dean is still knocked out and DD is nowhere to be found.

“Dean, get up!” I shook him but he was not budging. I sighed in frustration and anxiety. I remembered why there was a lot of gunfire, the trap, and Cas.

“I'll be back Dean!” I tell him in his unconscious state and run to the building.

I enter as quickly and quietly as possible. There are dead Croats and sadly, there are some of our own, lying on the floor. I pick up a gun and go up the stairs where I find Cas killing a Croat.

“Cas!” I run up to him, he drops the body, and I run into his arms. “Oh thank God.” I whispered and tightened my grip on him. And so does he. We let go.

“I think that is what I miss most, is your hugs.” He says and I can see tears build up in his blue soulful eyes, mixed with regret and affliction.

“Can you promise me something?” He continued.

“Of course.” I nodded my head.

“When you get back will you uh hu-” His words suddenly stopped and blood slowly started to come out of his mouth.

“Cas!?” He slumps down revealing that a Demon had stabbed him in the back. The demon pulls out the knife and gives me a creepy smile.

“Aww did I kill your boyfr-” I pulled out my gun and shot him in the face not letting him have the fucking satisfaction of finishing his sentence.

“CAS! Cas, stay with me! It’s okay, I'll get help!” I frantically said, panic rushing through me.

“N/n you can’t even if…you could there is nothing that could help me in this timeline just stay with me please?” Cas said in between coughs. Blood is now spraying on his shirt. It was like deja vu- flashes of Sam flashed through my head.

“I’m here, Cas.” I pull his head on my lap and stroked his hair.

“Ha ha ha...” Cas somehow laughed through more coughing fits.

“How in the hell are you laughing right now?” I said while tears rolled down my cheeks.

“It’s just funny that a formal Angel is dying from something as simple as a stab wound, don’t you think?” He gave me a half-stoned smile.

“Ha, I don’t think it’s funny at all.” I sniffed.

“I'm sorry I can’t go see the lights.” I could feel he was slipping away quickly.

“Oh Cas don’t be sorry, I just always wanted you to live for you.” My tears were coming out and there was no stopping it.

“I was really stupid when you were still here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never told you how you changed me, how you gave me courage, how you taught me to lov-” He just stops.

“Cas! CAS!” I shook him hard now, a full-on waterfall coming down my face. “Cas…” I whispered. He was gone.

How come the people I care about keep dying? I thought.

There was a crack of lighting outside to pull me out of my thoughts. I looked down and saw … Sam.

“I’ll be back to bury you I promise.” I say in Cas’s ear and kiss his forehead.

I run outside to be met with a rose garden and Sam is in this full white suit, DD’s head under his foot. His backside is to me. DD sees me and tries to say something but is stopped by his neck being snapped.

“Y/n well, this is a surprise. I was just expecting our brother.” He said this so calmly like it was normal that it sent a chill down my spine.

“You are not Sam.” I circled him carefully.

“You're right, I'm not, but he does desperately want to see you, he’s begging me to come up to just speak to you for a minute. I mean, how could you blame him, his little sister has been dead for five years.” He tried to jab at me to get some type of an emotion to manipulate but I would not give in as all of it was expelled about two minutes ago. Dean then shows up behind him.

“You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?” He said to the both of us. Giving us sinister eyes and speaking like a snake.

“Well, go ahead. Kill us.” Dean blurts out. I mean, both of us will die anyway, I thought.

“Kill you?” He looks at DD, who is dead, then back at me with a confused look.

“Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?”

“I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be.” Sam, or more technically, Lucifer, rebuttals back. He reaches for Dean and my shoulders but we both pull back.

“You don't have to be afraid of me, you two. What do you think I'm going to do?”

“You know we may not be full Bible knowledge holders but we do the major stuff of what you did and continue to do.” I fought back, not falling for his bullshit.

“Yeah, what she said.” Dean nodded at me in agreement.

“Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God.” Neither of us wanted to hear these lies. “You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?”

“No, but I’m sure you're going to annoyingly tell us.”

“Ahh Y/n, I have always loved your little quips. You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created…” He smiles and turns his head down on us. “You. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than him. And I said, ‘Father, I can't.’ I said, ‘These human beings are flawed, murderous.’ And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it.” I hadn’t had the urge to punch someone so hard since Ruby.

“You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. We know what you are.” Dean said for the both of us.

“What am I?”

“You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing our whole lives. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.” Lucifer smiles at us like we are little kids playing cops and robbers.

“I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon. And Y/n I’m sorry, I won’t be able to hear your funny lines again.” He turns away from us.

“You better kill me now!” Dean screams at him.

“Pardon?”

“You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop.”

“I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win.”

“You're wrong.”

“See you in five years, Dean. Y/n, Sam loves you though I could give him that.” At that thunder and lighting crack, Lucifer disappears, and Dean and I turn to see Zachariah reaching for us.

“Wait! I have to bury Cas!” Of course, I didn’t get to.

Dean and I are dropped in Dean’s hotel room and we lean against the sink to catch our breaths.

“Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you.” Dean said in annoyance.

“Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Your sister dies. Just say yes.”

“How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?”

“The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die.” He then turns to me.

“Y/n, you die, don’t you want to live, convince your brother.”

Dean and I are on the same page because at the same time we both say “Nah.”

“'Nah'? You two are telling me you haven't learned your lesson?”

“Look, off-brand Disney channel character, I’m in charge of my future, not what you dicks have planned.” I poured a drink for Dean and I.

“And I've learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach.” Dean quipped drinking back.

And anger just surges through him. “Well, I'll just have to teach it again! Because I got you now, boy, girl and I'm never letting you—”

We landed on the side of the road under a lamplight and Cas was standing there.

“That's pretty nice timing, Cas.” Dean let out a breath of relief.

“We had an appoi-” I didn’t let him finish before I threw my hands around him trying to take in everything about him. Trying to find his heartbeat ‘Thump Thump’ there it is.

“Sorry, I just…” How was I supposed to tell him? “Missed you.” I finished. Dean’s eyes went between us knowing the reason for the sudden hug and he tried to bring attention away from it.

“Cas don’t ever change.” He claps Cas’s shoulder in awe and a smile.

“How did Zachariah find you?”

“Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?”

“And Nun’s selling flowers.” Dean then pulls out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks. I glance down and see Sam’s name on his phone and I smile at it.

“Something I should have done in the first place.”

Dean and I are waiting by the Impala for Sam. His car pulls up and I send a quick prayer to whatever is out there that everything goes smoothly. Sam gets out and walks over slowly.

“Sam.” Dean pulls out the demon knife.

“If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty.” Wow Dean is actually listening to me, crazy, I thought. Sam takes the knife.

“Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong.” Dean confessed.

“What made you change your mind?” Sam asks and well a lot Sam.

“Long story. The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.” The three of us I don’t know. I haven't really felt like this before. Not sure if we need these extra two sentences, maybe change this?

“Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down.” Sam really was thankful.

“Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet.” Dean said, talking like a true older brother.

“Uh excuse me you mean third best hunter right?” I added in. My brothers both chuckle at me.

“So, what do we do now?” Sam asks.

“I’ll tell you what we do, Sam, we kick ass and take names and our future.” I ended.

“Guess we have no choice.”

#castiel x reader #castiel #castiel x y/n #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #team free will #spnfandom #supernatural #castiel x you #Castiel x reader series masterlist #bobby singer #bobby spn #cas spn #cas x reader #cas x y/n #cas masterlist #supernatural season 5 #crowley supernatural

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according2thelore · 8 months ago

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holy SHIT that excerpt was so good!!!!!! the elliott ness / hitler bit was hilarious. omg everything i ever could have dreamed and more…. inherent characteristic of dean of all ages is that he is a little shit, and also that he will kill himself for sam.

i also love that baby sam describes grownup sam as barely holding it together. i feel like hearing that would break older dean’s heart but older sam would really just take it as, like, yeah. a little bit true.

do you ever think of them interacting w other characters in this au? cas dropping by, or crowley or rowena or someone calling, lol. if this is set in an elongated season 11, lucifer would be horrific. or… hmm. I feel like claire would be funny, little dean tries to hit on her and she’s just absolutely disgusted.

omg omg omg anon i am kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!

and haha, thank you! it's so fun to see dean freak out in the moment about meeting his idols (dr. sexy, elliot ness) that i can only imagine how ES!Dean would react to the info that he would actually get to meet them one day! ES!Dean would lose his SHIT if he found out s1e1 that picking up sam from college would allow him to hit on daphne from scooby doo. could you fucking imagine??

LS!Dean would stare angstily into the distance about the "barely holding it together" comment but LS!Sam would say something equivalent to: "ha! yeah. fair enough."

in my idea of how this universe works, i think they would text all their friends a very clear do not come over!! leave us alone until we say it's okay!! we are safe!! personal business!! and everyone thinks they're having a crazy sex weekend, so they definitely do not want to come over. i think once we start adding more characters, this thing gets messy bc how the fuck are we going to explain to ES!Sam&Dean who JUST found out that vampires are real that their best friend is an angel and he also possessed his vessel's daughter claire, that's why she's here and also a hunter and also a child, say hi claire! huh? oh yeah this isn't cas's body, this is a guy named jimmy. no we don't think he's still in there. anyway. he was god for a bit but not anymore and hm? how? oh he ate a bunch of souls. because the king of hell told him to. no not the devil, the king of hell. who's the devil? well. funny story--

but hypothetically i can get down! i love the way your brain works!!! i think it's super fun to imagine all the characters interacting with these squeaky-toy versions of sam and dean who are even more insular and weird as the seasons go on. ES!Sam&Dean are so earnest! and excited! hypothetically speaking, i think it would go like this:

i have been harboring a secret little headcanon that sam and dean's souls look similar, since they're soulmates. to humans, they all just look like balls of light, but for angels or demons...

it makes me think about if cas pops by, he almost...doesn't notice? at first? it depends on the season, but if he's a full-graced angel, he sees the soul first, not the "vessel."

so he pops into the bunker, like "hello, dean. your soul is bright today. can i meet you and sam in the library?" and pops back out. and ES!Sam and LS!Dean are stood there, blinking. and LS!Dean is like. "well. fuck."

and when they all assemble in the war room, castiel looks back and forth between the four of them. for a minute and half of pure silence. "did you have kids?"

"identical kids?" LS!Sam asks, incredulous. "like spores?"

and castiel says "one second." and squints even harder and says. "oh. i see. there are four of you. why did you do that?"

and of course, LS!Sam&Dean are all, "did we do it? we thought someone--on your...ah. team. did this."

and ES!Dean's says, "who's this asshole? oh shit. is he blind? my bad."

"this is our best friend. castiel." LS!Dean says, trying not to laugh. "he has a...religious family."

"is this the friend that tried to be god?" ES!Dean asks, skeptically, and LS!Dean hits LS!Sam on the back of the head, hard.

"it's not my fault! he has big eyes!" LS!Sam says by way of explanation, like that means anything to anyone besides ES!Sam.

"it's very true." castiel agrees solemnly, and both sams trade a look about which thing cas is responding to.

ES!Dean and cas would get along like a house on fire, which is to say...the winchesters don't have a great track record with those. but ES!Sam and cas?? oh boy. best friend alert. if it slips that cas is an angel, ES!Sam is big-eyed, heart-thumping, breathless excited, which none of the other 3/4 are too jazzed about. cas is quite pleased. he preens like a peacock.

"why yes. my true form would melt your eyeballs, samuel." and ES!Sam is almost bouncing up and down in glee. cas never calls sam samuel, but he thinks it adds a biblical affect that ES!Sam clearly appreciates.

they have tea together.

read: sam spills boiling water over his hand while trying to make them tea and cas takes a great deal of satisfaction in healing it. by holding his hand.

read: LS!Dean kicks open the imaginary door of the kitchen like OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S A CHILD. DROP THE BABY.

~~~

crowley texts LS!Dean an ASMR video of someone reading threatening reddit comments (what fucked-up psychological warfare tactic is this??) and when ES!Dean sees the notification, he asks,

"who is the contact with the little devil picture and the...is that an egglant?"

"how did he change his name in my fucking phone? pizza hut. no one. what phone?" LS!Dean throws it across the room because he knows that without a shadow of a fucking doubt that crowley would unhinge his jaw and swallow ES!Sam&Dean whole if he got the chance. or at least desperately try to convince them into a threesome.

there's no risk of that, but dean is NOT going to explain the 'king of hell' business, so he leaves it be.

~~~

maybe jody (that introduction actually goes smashingly) would bring claire around one day, and, yeah anon, you're right. ES!Dean is a limpet. he's pulling out all the stops. he leans seductively against the table in the war room. he winks a lot. he breaks eye contact coquettishly. claire is stuck between finding it amusing and being horrifically disgusted. she audibly gags when dean smolders.

claire starts to say, "you do know i'm--"

and ES!Dean cuts her off with a shit-eating grin, "if you're about to say your age, don't. i like plausible deniability."

and claire nods for a second before suddenly reaching out, grabbing him, and flipping him over her shoulder. she breaks a chair with his flying body. no one helps him up.

if anything, this makes her hotter, and ES!Dean sees LS!Sam get genuinely angry at him for the first time when he says so.

"back off, dean. i'm serious."

and ES!Dean gets so immediately, blindingly hard that he has to go sulk in his room for a minute or thirty or risk showing the exact shape of his dick to the room at large.

"yes sir. sammy. what the fuck? i'm gonna--" runs into the wall. "i've gotta. fuck. no-- i mean. hahahahahahahahah---" *fading into the distance as dean waddles awkwardly away*

~~~

(and hypothetically speaking, lucifer would be a fucking horror show. LS!Sam is literally covering ES!Sam with his body because didn't he get to ruin sam long enough? you don't get me any earlier. you can't touch him, i won't let you fucking touch him. ES!Dean can tell something is Not Good Bad Wrong Fucked and the sheer depth of terror, of trauma, scares the fucking shit out of him. he looks desperately to LS!Dean like a child looking at their father, can you fix this, how do we fix this? and no one has any answers. lucifer is obsessed. it's a nightmare.)

~~~

anyway, lol! i hope you liked! this one was super fun to think about! dean is always kind of a skeeze, but early seasons especially so lol. i think a lot of people would have a field day w that! and ES!Sam is so earnest and trusting!

thank you again for this ask anon! i always love hearing which part of fics/these posts are folks favourites! kissing you!

have a great day! :)

-lizzy

#ask box #lizzy answers #ES/LS verse #anon <3

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scoobydoodean · 9 months ago

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regarding jesse and dean saying they could use him in a fight… do you think maybe dean’s motivations are two fold in the sense that he is thinking about how useful jesse could be but also thinking about being able to protect jesse better if he’s just already with them? somewhat like sam’s initial motivations regarding jack if that makes sense

Context

Sam and Dean definitely wanted to protect Jesse—there's no question about that one. They both burst into Jesse's house after Cas flies away to kill Jesse when Sam and Dean refused to go along with it. Even Cas didn't want to kill Jesse—he just thought it was what was necessary (and Cas's ruthlessness in these sorts of circumstances is also a through line—all the way to the Rosemary's Baby storyline in season 12 where he goes behind Sam and Dean's backs to kill Kelly). But the actual plan to take Jesse with them was born out of an argument with Cas where Sam and Dean were trying to keep Jesse alive while being realistic about the fact that demons would continue hunting him.

When Cas first arrives in the motel and opens with "We should kill Jesse", Sam and Dean let him explain, but then Dean tries to reason Cas toward the solution being, "We should just leave him the hell alone":

DEAN Well, if Jesse's a demonic howitzer, then what the hell's he doing in Nebraska? CASTIEL The demons lost him. They can't find him. But they're looking. DEAN And they lost him because? CASTIEL Because of the child's power. It hides him from both angels and demons. For now. DEAN So he's got, like, a force field around him. Well, that's great. Problem solved.

Cas insists that Jesse is growing stronger because of Lucifer's rise, and something he does will draw the demons attention and he'll be found. This crushes Dean's "Just leave him alone with his parents" angle, and Sam interjects to tell Cas that they aren't killing a child not matter what. Dean backs Sam on this, while pushing a new solution that takes Cas's concerns into account:

Okay. Hey, look, we are not going to kill him. All right? But we can't leave Jesse here either. We know that. So...we take him to Bobby's. He'll know what to do.

Cas objects to this too, saying they have no way to actually get Jesse to come with them to Bobby's, much less stay with them. So Sam pushes another solution, which is to tell Jesse the truth. This does the opposite of placate Cas, and he flies off to kill Jesse without their support.

So Sam and Dean both wanted to protect Jesse. They didn't want to kill him. They tried to compromise with Cas by saying they'd take Jesse to Bobby's where he'd be safe.

Nobody was talking about Jesse actually helping them in a fight until Sam and Dean rushed over to the house, and Dean, who never said he was onboard with telling Jesse the truth, tries to get him to come with them somewhere safe without telling him the truth, because (as he says at the end of the episode) he wishes his own dad had lied to them when they were kids. Jesse's become aware of his own powers though, so what Dean comes up with is that Jesse is a superhero.

DEAN You're a superhero. JESSE I am? DEAN Yeah. Yeah. I mean, who else could turn someone into a toy? You're Superman—minus the cape and the go-go boots. See, my—my partner and I, we work for a secret government agency. It's our job to find kids with special powers. In fact, we're here to take you to a hidden base in South Dakota, where you'll be trained to fight evil. JESSE Like the X-Men? DEAN Exactly like the X-Men. In fact, the, uh, guy we're taking you to—he's even in a wheelchair. You'll be a hero. You'll save lives. You'll get the girl. Sounds like fun, right?

Much of season 4 is about the inevitability of hunting from Sam and Dean's perspectives—that at a certain point, you are in the life too deep to get out. Sam and Dean never had a choice in this life and now it's too late and they have to make the best of it. In season 4, Sam mainly talks about it as something he wouldn't change anyway (until the end) but Dean pretty consistently grieves (4.04, 4.08, 4.12, 4.12, 4.19, 4.21). Jesse is similarly already trapped in the life by the circumstances of his birth and the fact that demons are looking for him.

So what Dean does here is a reflection of his own coping skills with being trapped in hunting when he was a kid. This is a Dabb and Loflin episode, and what Dean does here mirrors Dean's childhood romanticization of hunting according to their previous episode, 4.13 "After School Special", where it's obvious that in order to cope with the weight of John's neglect and the stress of responsibility to the family and being trapped in the life, a young Dean pushes himself to focus on the fact that they're a family of heroes, that they have a sweet setup at the motel with free ice, and being left there for weeks in charge with no curfew is fun and not stressful and soul-crushing at all. Dean talks about a similar narrative from around that age in 2.03 when he describes to Gordon how he embraced the life as a teenager by telling himself he was seeing things other kids his age never got to see, and we later contrast this with "Bad Boys".

Adult Dean's feelings are very different from the feelings of that kid who was just trying to cope. We see this starting in 2.10 and 2.11 when Dean refers to John's last words as "Screaming in his head all day" and says "I wish to god he never opened his mouth" and "Well Dad's an ass! He never should have said anything. I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids!" Then at the end of 5.06:

DEAN You know, we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth. SAM We didn't have a choice, Dean. DEAN Yeah. You know, I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing Pop Rocks and Coke—protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it...the more I wish Dad had lied to us. SAM Yeah, me too.

Dean wishes John had protected them. He didn't want to be left with the weight of Sam's demonic destiny on his shoulders (that also signified Dean's own potential to become a monster he didn't want to be). So at first, Dean tries to fill Jesse's head with vague ideas that he's a hero and destined for good. Then when Sam tells Jesse the truth, Dean urges Jesse to come with them somewhere safe, where he can train and "you'd be handy in a fight, kid". I don't know—I think it's hard to say whether Dean really meant he'd ask Jesse to fight side by side with them in the apocalypse, and also how far that would go even if they did end up asking Jesse to use his powers to assist them. Like Dean is pretty consistently against involving kids in the life. I do think at the very least, Dean was trying to instill a sense of heroism into Jesse to reinforce that he doesn't have to be evil just because he's half demon and some demons want him to help them kill people. Sam also doesn't object because he also sees Jesse having to come with them as inevitable. After Jesse says "What if I don't want to fight?" Sam tries to talk him through it (he also suggests Jesse has to abandon his parents to protect them). The thing is, Jesse proves all of them wrong. He proves Cas wrong by never doing what he was foretold to do, and he proves Sam and Dean wrong about the inescapability of hunting by flying off to Australia never to be seen again.

#ruthless cas #sams moral compass #deans moral compass #castiels moral compass #5.06 #jesse #season 5 #mail #4.13 #2.03 #4.19

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h0nkch0c0late · 1 year ago

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hiii, bestie<33 i'm sure you didn't expect me here at all. it's not like i said a moment ago that i’d do it 🙄

i would like to ask for another angst, because my soul feeds on my suffering. i was thinking of dean x reader, where our dear sweetest reader, who is also a hunter, has feelings for dean who is a role model and such a hero to her and she finally decides to tell him everything and he is like "🧍‍♀️" because he only sees her as a younger sister 🫣

thank you!!<3 byeeee

AAAAAAAAA YESSSS

Like a Sister

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: As a hunter, you learned from a very young age that you shouldn't get into relationships. Meeting the oldest Winchester brother changed this idea for you, but unfortunately, he doesn't feel the same.

WARNING(S): Unrequited love, rejection, mild swearing, angst

Dean Winchester was your biggest role model, and practically a hero.

You were only four years younger than him, being Sam's age.

And, just like the brothers, you had been in the hunting life ever since you could walk.

You had met the brothers during the first time they had been up against Lucifer, and since then, had always been a phone call away.

To your luck, they always needed your help. At least, that's what Dean always told you.

And this time it was no different. Well, not so different other than you had developed feelings for Dean over the past couple of months and had been working up the courage to tell him.

You were sure that he felt the same about you. The way he hugged you was different than how he hugged other people, and, in cases where you had almost died, well...let's just say there were tears and lots of yelling involved on his part.

...well, that's what you thought at least.

So, here you were, hunting down a nest of vamps. Sam and Dean were in the middle of a very petty fight, and had separated from doing hunts together, so it was only you and Dean this time.

And you were determined to tell him your feelings.

-----------

The hunt was going fairly well, you and Dean had killed (what you thought was) all of the vamps.

As you both breathed heavily, covered in blood that was definitely not your own, you began to build up your courage to tell him everything.

"Hey Dean?" You began, your voice uncharacteristically quiet.

He turned to you, "What's up?" He asked, his eyebrows quirked in curiosity.

"I...have something important to tell you." You say as you begin to walk closer to him.

He chuckled, "What could be more important than celebrating our win?" He questioned, clueless as ever.

You gulped, noticing how close to the two of you were as you looked at him, "I...I've looked up to you for a while. You're practically my hero! In fact...as of recently, you've kinda...become more than a hero to me? And I...just wanted to tell you..."

His eyes tore away from you as he noticed movement. An extra vamp you two hadn't accounted for was beginning to sneak up behind you, no doubt trying to catch you by surprise and failing. "Move!" He yelled at you before you could finish what you were saying, slightly pushing you out of the way and making you stumble as he he lifted his machete and took off the vamp's head.

Having your heart racing once more from the scare of the vamp, and now being covered in even more blood, you shook off your nerves, wiping away the imaginary dirt that littered your knees.

"Sorry." Dean apologized, turning to you once again, "what were you gonna say? Other than the whole "you're my hero" thing?"

You tensed, blinking furiously at him a couple times as you tried to regroup your thoughts and gather your courage once more, "I...I-uh, I like you. I have very very strong feelings for you. And I really hope you feel the same because then I'll just feel like an idiot, but I am really really into you." You ranted, making sure that nothing could cut you off again.

Your confidence in his feelings began to run thin as you watched him freeze, dropping the blood covered machete to the ground as he stared at you wide eyed.

The air around you fell thick with silence as Dean gathered his thoughts, clearly shaken by the confession that had just taken place.

You saw his chest rise as he took in a deep breath, his eyes going from wide to now guilty as his lips formed a frown, "Look, kid, I..." He began.

You felt your heart begin to crack as you knew where he was getting at. He wouldn't have called you "kid" otherwise.

"You're cool and all, I'm I'm glad you think of me as some sort of role model, but...listen, I don't feel the same. I think of you as a younger sister, you know?" He told you, trying to let you down as gentle as possible.

You felt your eyes beginning to get glazed with tears as the man before you broke your heart even more.

"I don't want this to change anything between us, okay? You'll always be a little sister to me. Can we just...pretend like this never happened?" He asked. He felt horrible, hurting you like that. But what choice did he have? He didn't want to lie to you, and it was impossible for him to see you in any other light than as a sister.

You quickly wiped away the tears that had managed to fall as you attempted to gather the broken pieces, clearing your throat as you nodded, "Yeah...can we-uh-can we just go? I wanna get cleaned up." You dismissed, your voice cracking.

Dean nodded, turning and making his way towards the impala.

You followed behind, staring at the ground as you plopped yourself into the backseat, not even daring to look at the man before you.

The ride to the bunker was silent, and as the both of you separated (you getting into your own car, and Dean making his way to the entrance of the bunker), not a word was spoken. No goodbye, no "thank you", you just left.

You wanted to believe that nothing would change between the two of you, but the thought of seeing him after he broke your heart...it was an impossible task.

---------------------------------------------------------

:))))))) @pinchofhoney <33

#x reader #imagine #angst #dean winchester #dean winchester x you #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural

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awesomelyanxiouspanda · 2 years ago

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A Fiercely Bleeding Heart (Lucifer/OFC): Chapter 4

Story summary: Emery (Our lovely OFC) owns a thriving coffee shop smack dab in the middle of Monroe City, Mo. She’s well known for her unique coffee drinks and her “coffee charity”. What happens when a woman with too much heart- and not nearly enough common sense- comes across the fallen archangel in his mostly human state? Will Lucifer behave, or will he bite the hand that (quite literally) feeds him?

Warnings for this chapter specifically: THE SMUT IS FINALLY BEGINNING! We don’t have a full smut scene in here, but there’s a sexy little prelude and some background growth between Lucifer and Emery!

Warnings/Tags: Loosely based around S.13 E. 13! Plus size OC, OC is gullible and a big softie, Lucifer in his nearly human form, Soft Lucifer, Dean and Sam cosplaying FBI agents again, Canon typical violence, Non-Canon compliant story line, Soulmate AU-ish?, smut in future chapters, canon typical cursing, NOT a slow burn, not beta’d we die like our king Crowley, smut, mild smut, vaginal fingering,

A/N: It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written smut so I hope this is passable!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

After an absolute overabundance of food was brought to the room, I was left to my own devices. It felt a little silly to just accept my current predicament but I kept trying to rationalize it to myself anyway. It wasn’t like I could just get up and leave, right? Who knew what enemies waited outside the room? Lucifer had said something about still dealing with Asmodeus and his people after all. And how would I even begin to find my way around? It’s quite possible there wasn’t even a direct route out of hell. Not to mention… I really didn’t want to let Lucifer down by disappearing or disobeying him. So, after eating and using the restroom, I simply collapsed back into the giant bed once more. It took no time to start feeling drowsy and, as I dozed off, I couldn’t help but think about asking Lucifer how to buy one of these beds for my own home.

“Rise and shine, princess!”

“Fuck!”

Heart pounding and eyes swimming nauseatingly, I rocketed upright and hastily searched the room in fear. Asmodeus. It had to be him!

“Whoa, whoa there, doll! Easy now,” Lucifer’s words filtered through my panic.

Finally, I spotted the fallen angel as he approached the bed and I couldn’t help the relieved sigh that escaped.

“Jesus, Lucifer, don’t- don’t scare me like that!” I snapped.

Lucifer snorted and lifted his hands in the air, as if in surrender, as he sat beside me.

There was the strangest mixture of warmth and coolness radiating from him as his thigh pressed against mine. It was honestly soothing. As I let go of the fear and irritation of being startled from my sleep, I definitely didn’t sneak a look at the massive difference between our legs, nor imagine how good it would feel to sit on his thigh... A shudder ran up my spine at the mental image. I quickly kicked myself back into reality and shot him a weak smile.

“So, uh, what’s going on?” I asked.

The corners of his mouth curled up into a little smirk and he bumped his shoulder into mine.

“I figured if you were gonna be here for a while, I should at least give you a tour of the place! Unless you wanna be stuck in here alone, of course-”

“No, I mean, yes, please! That would be great,” I sighed happily.

Just the thought of being alone again for god knows how long was enough to make my heart twist. I was so used to being surrounded by the hubbub of the shop that just these last few hours of solitude were enough to last me a lifetime.

Brows knitting in thought, I let my gaze travel around the room in search of some sign of my phone before a groan escaped.

“The shop! How long have I been down here? Fuck, they’re probably sick with worry. I haven’t even been able to do the orders! Everything is going to-”

Cool fingers rested over my mouth and instantly shut me up, my heart leaping into my throat. Eyes darting up to meet his, I gave him a confused look to which he simply grinned.

“Already took care of that. Your little monkeys were sent a text letting them know you were sick and that you’d be closed until you were better. Now, if you promise you’re done with your little freakout, I’ll let you go.”

Part of me wanted to rebel just to keep his hands on me for a while longer, but logic won out in the end and I gave him a little nod.

“So you have my phone?” I asked.

“Yup,” he said, popping the p cutely, “But you’re not getting it back until I’m certain you’re one hundred percent healthy and able to go back. Capiche?”

The look I gave him only earned a bigger grin in response, telling me all I needed to know about arguing with him.

With a sigh, I said, “Fine. You win. Show me… hell?”

“Gladly!”

He stood and offered up an elbow, which I happily took. As my hand slid into his elbow, forcing me to stand all the much closer to him, I couldn’t stop the little smile and butterflies that followed.

“Oh, and a word of advice?” he said as he opened the door, “I wouldn’t run off alone. I’m still trying to get things in order and some of these droogs think they can disobey.”

That sounded just lovely. Thankfully, I knew I was safe at Lucifer��s side, but it did worry me for any time I was alone in the room in the near future. Tightening my grip on his arm, I scooted slightly closer as we passed a pack of people in the hall and attempted to school my features into something other than fear.

“I wasn’t planning on it. I trust you to keep me safe,” I told him honestly.

After what Asmodeus put me through? There was no way in hell- ha- that I would chance getting caught by some of his loyalists.

“Good. Now, do you have anything in particular you’d like to see, or avoid?” he asked.

After thinking for a moment, I replied, “I’d like to avoid anything too… gory. Or anything involving torture with everything that happened.”

I hoped he didn’t think me weak for that but, even if he did, there was no way I’d want to see it even if I hadn’t been through that. Horror movies with fake gore, I could stand. The thought of seeing a person tortured in real life though, made my stomach ache.

He stopped suddenly and my gaze was drawn up to him in confusion, only to find him staring intently down at me.

“I wouldn’t take you there even if you hadn’t said anything. You’re too good for that.”

Somehow, the way he spat out the word good made it sound like an insult. I tried not to let it bother me and instead flashed him a warm smile.

“I appreciate that. Um, maybe we could see the throne room? I got to see some of it before but I’d like to get a better look at it with you there,” I offered.

“Good choice, princess. I’ve got some business to attend to there anyway,” he praised giddily.

My heart swelled with happiness. This was going well so far.

“I have a silly question,” I sighed after a few quiet moments.

“What’s that?” he replied.

Looking up at him, I asked something I’d been dying to ask since last night.

“Tell me about yourself? I mean, whatever you feel comfortable sharing of course. I was never really a religious person. I don’t know much about Christianity, much less what is actually true, because you don’t seem like the evil, fire, and brimstone that the bible made you out to be.” Apparently, I had hit a nerve because he suddenly went stiff and his jaw clenched hard. I almost backpedaled and apologized for asking such a personal question, but then his eyes met mine.

“You really want to know?” he asked quietly.

I nodded and said, “Whatever you want to share with me. I feel you know so much about me and I know nothing about you.”

With a heavy sigh, he began talking. The halls were confusing and tiring to walk, probably because my body was still recovering, but it was easy to ignore with the conversation flowing between us. It was enthralling to hear him talk about it all; heaven, GOD who was apparently a giant dick, the angels, his fall, and his reasoning. I had expected something chaotic but I was slowly coming to understand the sad reality of it all. Unfortunately, we came to a large set of doors before he was finished, and I knew the conversation was put aside for now when he waved the doors open to show the throne room.

“It’s much brighter in here now,” I mumbled in surprise.

“Yeah, Asmodeus was one for theatrics,” he chuckled, “Come, sit while I call the guys down.”

To my surprise, he led me straight to the throne and gestured me forward.

“Wait, you want me to sit here?!” I gasped in disbelief, “But, where are you going to sit?”

“I mean, you could always just sit in my lap but I prefer to stand when addressing the idiots,” he said with a wink.

Face warming, I nodded in understanding before carefully sitting on the chair. It was much easier to see all the intricate carvings up close and I couldn’t help but marvel at the craftsmanship of it all. It was gorgeous.

Lucifer snapped and suddenly there were four being in the center of the room. He walked around behind the throne and leaned against the back as he started talking.

“Updates, people. Where are we on finding the Losechesters?”

The group looked at each other nervously before the only female-presenting one spoke up.

“We haven’t heard anything from them, sir. We tried looking-”

“You’re telling me no one has found them yet?” Lucifer bit out gruffly.

Eyes widening in shock, I watched the group of four demons before us practically cowered to the ground. He hadn’t even threatened them yet and they were kneeling, preparing for the worst.

“How?! There are thousands of you idiots and you can’t find two little hunters?!”

“S-Sir, if- if I may?” the shortest one of the four pled, “They seem to have gone off the grid. Even the other hunters haven’t heard from them, and there is no love lost between them, as you know.”

Lucifer scoffed and my eyes found his tall form as he stalked around to stand as a wall between the demons and me, hand lifted in the air in the form of a snap symbolically.

“How many does it take to pass along a message, princess?” Lucifer asked suddenly.

Caught like a deer in headlights, I stammered out in surprise, “Uh, o-one?”

“Hmm, you heard the lady.”

There was a loud chorus of pleas before he snapped and there was a big billow of black ash across the floor. I tried to peek out around him and found only the shortest of the four left.

Oh.

“Run along now and spread it to the rest of the goon squad that, if progress isn’t made soon, they’re just as replaceable.”

“Y-Yes- Yes sir!” the demon squeaked out.

I couldn’t deny that it was slightly amusing to see a full-grown man, a demon no less, act like a scolded child. My amusement was placated when Lucifer suddenly spun around, leaning down and pinning me into the throne with a hand on either arm. Fuck, he really liked doing that, and he looked damn good doing it.

“Now that that’s done, where would you like to go next, doll?”

…

“Lucifer?” I called out nervously.

I was almost certain I was in the throne room again, except this time it was dark and empty- save for myself and a mysteriously shadowed figure upon the chair. As if on cue, a light blinked on above the throne, and there sat Lucifer in all his glory; One leg propped up on the right arm while he rested his elbow on the left, lounging about as if he had no care in the world.

“I knew you’d find me eventually,” he cooed warmly, “Now, come here.”

Swallowing thickly, I nodded once and walked across the floor. The closer I got, the faster my heart raced. Was this finally happening? Were my dreams finally going to come true?

He snapped, pointing to the floor before him as he spun to sit properly in the chair, and I wasted no time dropping to my knees. A hand in my hair drew me closer until my knees pressed against the cold concrete holding the throne up.

“You are just an obedient little thing, aren’t you?” he mused.

I nodded in answer but my movements were halted as pain shot through my scalp, his fingers gripping tight enough to jerk a choked gasp from my throat.

“Answer when you are spoken to.”

“Y-Yes, Lord Lucifer,” I breathed out.

Despite my best efforts, lust shone through painfully obvious in my tone and my face heated warm at his chuckle.

“You’d do anything I ask you to,” he sighed happily.

Again, I almost nodded but this time I thought better of it, before whispering, “Yes Lord Lucifer, please tell me what you want.”

My eyes snapped open but, rather than the irritation I had begun to expect from being woken up from such a good dream, I felt uncertainty. What had woken me up? I could feel from the gritty burning in my eyes that I hadn’t slept very long, despite being exhausted from the full day of exploring with Lucifer.

“You know, when I heard you praying to me, I expected trouble, maybe some of the lower lifeforms messing with you. But this? This is so much better.”

That voice. Jerking upright, I instantly spotted Lucifer leaning up against the dark wardrobe across the room. He looked a vision. I couldn’t help the way my gaze followed his movements as he crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk. Gone was his tan jacket, leaving him in a simple white t-shirt that exposed his thick muscles delectably, and my thighs clenched traitorously at the sight.

It took a few moments but I finally registered what he had said and shot him a confused look.

“Wait, what?” I asked, “I wasn’t pray-”.

My dream. Realization hit hard and it took everything in me not to sink in on myself. How the fuck did that count as praying?!

His smirk widened as he lifted away from his perch and crossed the room just to stop a mere foot or two in front of me. He had to know what he was doing, and how the current position put my eyes in a very intimate place, not that I was complaining.

A hand ran into my hair before gently tangling in my curls and drawing my head back. I didn’t dare resist. How could I?

“Lucifer, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

My words were cut off as he suddenly shoved me back onto the bed. I wasn’t given the chance to react before he was over me, elbows on either side of my head and hips dangerously close to the apex of my thighs. It felt like my heart stopped the instant I felt his cool breath across my neck.

“I’ve tried really fucking hard to be good, you know?” he breathed softly again my skin, “I tried to pretend you were just some random hairless ape. Tried to ignore this damn soulmate pull, but it’s useless. You don’t understand how damn hard it’s been to resist you, princess. The way you look at me with those sweet doe eyes, the way you smell, the way you trust me with touching you- Fuck, I just want to destroy you!”

Fear and excitement battled in my heart as I felt his lips and teeth rest against my throat. But rather than bite me, as I had expected, he simply placed a soft kiss before running his nose up toward my ear.

“S-Soulmate?” I asked timidly.

“Mmhmm,” he groaned as he finally rutted his hips against mine, “Even without it, I think it’d be hard to resist you. You’re just so… pure. You’re like the opposite of everything I am and-”

“I’m not a virgin though.”

He snorted out a laugh before pressing another kiss in the hollow spot below my ear, spurring a weak mewl from my throat.

“You know what I mean, Emery,” he said, voice thick with lust, “You’re kind, caring, charitable, trusting. So damn beautiful.”

Gods, the way my name sounded coming off his tongue. It was swoon worthy. I tried to argue but all my words were lost in a sea of bliss as he rolled his hips against my core again. Instinctively my hands bunched up in his t-shirt at his waist and pulled him down again. It felt so fucking good. Too good. Part of me feared I’d end up climaxing before we could even get to the good part, like some kind of loser; The other part of me begged for that, just to take the edge off the heat consuming my veins.

“Lucifer, please,” I begged breathlessly, arching in search of relief that only he could provide, “I need- fuck!”

The burn of his teeth in my neck sent a wave of pleasure from head to toe. One hand came up to curl in his blonde locks, hold him close in hopes of more of the sweet pain, and the other sought flesh under his shirt.

He let out a low grunt and sighed, “What are you doing to me, princess?”

The ripple of his muscles flexing under my palm only increased my desire for more so I did just that. Tugging at his shirt, I drew it up to his shoulders until he finally lifted up and reached behind to tug it off.

“Holy fuck,” I whispered as my eyes greedily took in the sight above me.

I couldn’t resist running my hands up his abdomen when he stretched. The way his muscles flexed taut before relaxing was rewarding beyond measure. He had what could be considered a slight dad bod, stomach soft when relaxed with broad and strong shoulders and firm arms. There was no denying the power in his body, angelic presence or not, and it was beautiful; he was beautiful. As I watched the way his body reacted to my touches, my need began to fall to the back of my mind. I wanted nothing more than to please and worship the angel above me first.

Was that sacrilegious? Fuck, who cared!

My nails left faint red lines down his stomach before my hands found his jeans.

“Uh-uh, not yet.”

Without even touching me, he forced my hands back and above my head, and I found myself unable to move them no matter how hard I tried. When I looked to him for answers, he only smirked before leaning down once more.

“How-”

“I’ve got plenty of tricks up my sleeve, doll,” he purred, “I could do things to you that you couldn’t even imagine in your wildest dreams.”

My eyes fluttered shut and a soft groan left my lips in disbelief. It was too daunting to stare straight into those soul-searching blues when he said such things.

“Tell me what you want,” he demanded softly, “I need to hear it. Consent means everything to us- to me, Emery.”

He was really trying to kill me, wasn’t he? Did he understand how hard it was for me to accept this was even happening, that to say it out loud would make it almost too… real?

“Unless you want this to stop.”

“No!” I snapped, eyes flying open in fear, “Please, don’t stop. Just- Just give me a second to acclimate, okay?”

He said nothing but the fact he didn’t immediately leave was reassuring. Swallowing hard, I pulled against my bonds and was allowed one hand free. I grabbed one of his hands before drawing it over to my lips and the way his eyes darkened when I kissed his thumb sent another roll of heat through my core.

“I want this. I want to touch you and- and you to- touch me,” I stammered out with burning cheeks.

How was I supposed to be okay with asking an angel to touch me? I didn’t deserve it. I was nothing compared to him and yet here he was, indulging my deepest desires.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

A keening moan escaped before I could stop it and my hand was jerked back into position, locked in invisible bonds once more. He snapped his fingers once and I was suddenly aware of the cool temperature of the room against my skin.

Did he just- Sure enough, when I looked down, I found my shirt and bra gone, leaving me just in my skirt and panties. I wasn’t even given the chance to react upon my embarrassment with the way he attacked my neck.

“Fuck!” I gasped out needily.

The burn of his teeth felt almost too much but then the caress of his cool tongue across the wound made it so much better. It was unbearable, having to lay there and let him touch me while being unable to reciprocate. I wanted nothing more than to be able to prove to him how good I could be.

“You need to tell me if something is too much,” he said between gentle bites down my throat to my collarbone, “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve got a pretty good grasp on the human pain threshold but this is all new to me. Some of Nick’s memories help but, well, that’s not the same as first-hand experience, which I have very little of.”

In the middle of my nod, I froze, brain slowly catching up to what he had said. Did he mean… Was Lucifer a virgin? Forcing my eyes open, I caught his gaze and timidly asked him such.

He smirked and said, “Never felt the need to. Another great thing about being an angel, no sex drive. Had an encounter once but it wasn’t really anything to write home about.”

“But then, why-”

At that, his eyes darkened once more and he leaned in close, lips hovering mere centimeters from mine. I waited impatiently but didn’t dare interrupt.

“You’re different. Maybe it’s because I met you when my grace was so low I was nearly human, or maybe it’s because you’re one of Nick’s possible soulmates. No matter the reason, I’m drawn to you, princess. You make me want to do things- experience things- I’ve never even considered.”

Shivers ran across my being at his admission. I made a mental note to ask more about the Possible? soulmate thing later.

“Which means,” he continued on seamlessly, “I need to know what works, what you like.”

“O-Okay, so far, you’re doing amazing,” I admitted softly.

“Flattery gets you everywhere,” he shot back with a wink.

As he retreated to his previous line of exploration, my eyes clamped shut once more. Maybe I’d be able to handle seeing a literal angel touching me in the future, but for now, my brain couldn’t handle it mixed with the sensations he was evoking.

My brain emptied of everything other than little begs and chants of his name as one hand cupped my breast. His calloused skin felt divine against my sensitive flesh, my back arching into his touch for more. Round and round he circled around my breast, slowly coming closer and closer to where I needed him most. When he finally ran a rough thumb over my hardened nipple, it tore a pathetic whimper from my lips. I would have been mortified if he hadn’t moaned in response.

“Look at you,” he breathed out quietly, “Father help me.”

Before I could respond, his mouth was on my untouched nipple and all words died on my tongue, only his name sounding in the silent room. Waves of pleasure rocked through my core as his teeth grazed my tender flesh, jumping up in intensity when he started sucking hard.

No matter how much I tried to relieve the ache between my thighs against his hips, it wasn’t enough to satiate the need for him. It was hard to be patient when it’d been years since I’d had any kind of sexual release other than my own hand, and even more so when no one had ever taken the time to explore my body like he was.

“Lucifer, please, more!” I practically cried.

He hmmed lowly in his throat and released his hold on my breast, hand skirting down my belly to my skirt. I was suddenly thankful for the high-waisted skirt covering the trouble area of my stomach, but it was gone as soon as I’d thought it, his hand dipping beneath the fabric and caressing the soft curve of my belly. It was hard to focus on that once his fingers continued on to my panties, my body nearly collapsed in on itself.

I wanted to cry when he hesitated, popping off my nipple with a groan.

“This is okay?” he asked.

“Yes, please just-”

Head slamming back against the bed, my throat constricted in a silent scream as his fingers finally pressed between my lips.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

My heart lurched in shock when his mouth was suddenly against my jawline, pressing open-mouthed kisses so close yet so far away. The dual sensation created a sinful mixture of want and need.

“You’re so wet,” he gasped, shock evident in his voice, “Is that because of me?”

“F-Fuck, yes,” I whined back.

Hips arching into his hand, I helped guide him until his fingers brushed against my clit and my hands instinctively jerked against the binds.

“Here?” he asked as he cautiously repeated the motion.

I tried to answer but it was too hard to speak, pleasure already growing with leaps and bounds to the point my brain was mush. I managed a nod and a frantic, “yes” before collapsing back against the bed with a whine. It was too much and yet I never wanted anything more. Each circle of his fingers brought about new levels of bliss, edging me closer and closer to that final ledge while my lips spewed unending praises.

My heart felt like it was going to explode when he suddenly licked up the shell of my ear and his hand left its previous pursuit to slip further down. The instant his fingers found my opening, I abandoned all humility and spread my thighs wider, begging him to continue.

“Yes, before you ask, yes,” I rushed out hastily, “Please!”

Lucifer let out a husky chuckle that sent my hairs on end and his teeth found purchase in my earlobe, fingers carefully sliding in at the same time. Whether spurred on by previous memories or instinct alone, his thumb came up to my clit and resumed the gentle circles as his fingers began a slow rhythm.

“Such a quick learner, good girl,” he praised lowly, “Do you want your hands back now?”

I nodded frantically and suddenly my binds were gone. Without a second thought, I grabbed a handful of his hair and drew him into a hungry kiss. There was a moment where he froze as if in shock, but thankfully it passed quickly before he kissed me back eagerly. It was all teeth and tongue and, though messy, I knew never wanted it any other way again.

I could feel myself crying when I drew back for breath. My orgasm was so close I could practically taste it.

“Don’t stop, please,” I whimpered between heavy breaths, “So close.”

The growl he let out was inhuman and devastatingly delicious and then his mouth was on mine once more.

“Do it, let go for me, princess,” he grunted between ravenous kisses.

His motions grew rough, fingers thrusting hard and faster but never losing their rhythm as I bucked into his hand. It was impossible to control my body as I chased that high, and when I finally felt that peak rushing forth, my hands frantically found his shoulders to keep some grip on reality.

“Oh god, oh fuck-”

Lucifer let out a snarl and snapped, “Don’t use his name. It’s not his fingers that are inside you. Are they? Try again! Tell me! Who is touching you? Who is pleasing you? Hmm?!”

“I’m- I’m sor- sorry, Luci-Lucifer!”

“That’s right, princess, you’re MINE!”

That last little barrier snapped and, for just a little moment in time, it felt like the world stopped. And then it all came crashing back down with a scream of his name. I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I jerked him down and buried my face into his neck, sobbing out in relief and ecstasy as he continued to finger fuck me through the torrential bliss. It didn’t take long for his touch to become overstimulating and my thighs instinctively clamped shut to stop him.

“Fuck,” he hissed quietly as he gently extracted his hand, “I think I get it now.”

Though thoroughly exhausted, I managed to open my eyes and give him a questioning look.

“Sex, the urge behind it,” he explained.

I couldn’t help the snort that escaped and the dopey smile that spread across my lips.

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” I told him.

Grabbing his hand, I gently pulled him fully back over me and gathered up all my strength to lean up and kiss him. Thankfully he made it easy by leaning down to meet me. These were much softer, much calmer, but no less passionate. Despite my body demanding rest, I knew we were nowhere near done, if the hardness pressing against my thigh was any indication.

“Give me a second to recover but don’t go anywhere,” I murmured, “I want to repay the favor.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was nervous. Catching his gaze, I rested my palm over his cheek and traced gentle designs across his scruff.

“I’m certain. I could literally want nothing more in the world right now.”

#Lucifer smut #supernatural lucifer #supernatural lucifer fanfiction #Lucifer/OFC #mild smut

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mlobsters · 10 months ago

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supernatural s13e7 war of the worlds (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

au!michael putting lucifer in an iron maiden-ish thing ok, why not. in front of a big jesus on a cross. is this the michael that rides up on dean's junk? i know nothing about that plotline other than it exists

CASTIEL Dean, you can't accompany me. My contact is already anxious about meeting and won't speak in the presence of a stranger. DEAN So introduce me. Then I'm not a stranger. I'll bring a six-pack. CASTIEL Dean, I swore I would protect this boy. Let me do this. DEAN Don't do anything stupid.

don't be rude, dean. but also, cas doesn't have the best track record. but tentatively seems like they're making him less prone to really bad decisions?

DEAN I guess we're stuck in idle. SAM So… What do we do? Just – just sit around here and wait? DEAN Well, we could work a case.

dunno why this strikes me as so like. unnecessarily heavy handed? oh no we can't do anything about the major plot arc, whatever will we do. i know, let's work a case to pass the time. i think this is a sign that i'm losing patience with the show :p there's only so many ways you can rearrange the parts before you start repeating things/the parts become very visible

LUCIFER Hey, you try interdimensional travel sometime, pal. Definitely no frills. And just to be clear, I never claimed to be God. Or a god, okay? Where I come from, God is a paradox. He's everywhere, in your mind. In reality, he's nowhere. He left. I, on the other hand, am the real deal. I am everything humanity thinks I am and worse. That's who you're dealing with, pal. But, hey, congratulations to you for being king of the hill of this dead rock.

nice little speech where he's not over completely over the top. i like him over the top, but it's nice to see this too.

was curious what osric was gonna be doing in this episode. handy i guess having this au, can bring in whoever. and he gets to play a very different kevin who gets to make a nexus

lucifer too, has to get back to the nexus. and back on earth without powers so we can have our quirky music comedy moment

eyes glazing over with this mr ketchup in a beard and rowena thing. two supposed to be dead people. evil twin but for real omglol. bleh

started laughing out loud at this shot, wtf is going on. it's so odd it looks like they pasted two shots together so they could both artificially be in focus together. gives me... tarantino???? vibes?? something. it's familiar. anyway. directed by richard speight jr apparently, gettin creative 🤪

this is so strange, man. it feels like it's gotta be a reference because it's so out of left field

sam where are you looking (ok i cranked up my brightness and i see he's looking at him now, but the way his head is angled and the shadow on his eyes makes it look like he's looking offcenter). why are y'all sitting like this. wtf.

just sayin. script directions definitely more what i'd expect

and offbrand mr ketchup looks like matthew rhys a little bit with the fluffy hair and beard like he's in a disguise in the americans

DUMAH Castiel, the angels… Our numbers were greatly diminished after the fall. No one's made new angels since the dawn of creation. We're going extinct. You would need a powerful force to make more of us. CASTIEL You mean Jack. Even if he had that power, what makes you think he'd cooperate? DUMAH He may not have a choice. CASTIEL So you're planning to enslave him for some kind of experiment?

i did not have trying to enslave jack as an angelic broodmare on my bingo card.

i like the new fit, lucifer. find it kind of weird though how he has now changed outfits a couple times past the original one and yet he still keeps the vessel's wedding ring on

LUCIFER Yeah, I'm clearly not myself. But, oh, cowboy, I'm not that weak. And you and I need to talk. CASTIEL I have no interest in talking to you. And if this is about your son– LUCIFER Okay, I get it, I get it. Custody of my son is a non-starter. But if you can please just shelve the eternal enemies thing for a second, we have a situation. And by “we,” I mean everything alive. We're sorta… all gonna die.

feels like sliding lucifer into a crowley-like role

i don't hate it. i'd rather have crowley be crowley and lucifer be lucifer though. it was a good scene, they play well off each other and they're letting cas be snarky and reasonable this week

SAM You get a name? DEAN Nope. But... from his description? Evil Colonel Sanders. Asmodeus.

(wiki)

Colonel Sanders was an Southern American business man, famous for creating Kentucky Fried Chicken. The name "Evil Colonel Sanders" was attributed to Asmodeus by the Supernatural fandom soon after his debut, due to his southern drawl and white suit.

well it's cute when i find out i was also picking up what they were putting down same as everyone else (my desc: the white suit and the thick accent and the speechifying, it’s giving confederate general slash colonel sanders vibes. the foghorn leghorn knives out treatment)

oh no surprise it is namebrand mr ketchup after all 🙄

KETCH She was captured by the British Men of Letters some years back. I discovered she'd sewn a powerful charm into her body that could bring her back should she be killed. I struck a deal wherein she did the same for me in return for allowing her to escape.

sure why not

dun dun dun mr ketchup is working for general sanders. whatever, man.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x07 #brad buckner #eugenie ross leming

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or-something-better · 2 years ago

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Sam’s Story Corner

Sept 13, 2022

🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨

Speaking for your Character "What Makes You Happy?" (This Weeks Topic is Brought to you by our own sweet Henry)

Sam

‘Sam Winchester’s journal entry #26 September 17,2022’

Henry asked me the other day “What makes you happy?” I was caught off guard by the question and I think I gave him some platitude like family or a monster free world. But I’ve been thinking about it on and off since then, thinking about what happiness does mean to me, and I keep getting stuck on the word happiness itself.

I think most people equate happiness with special events or big life-changing moments and I’ve certainly had some of those… the time when I was 13 and Dean and I set off all those fireworks, the day I was accepted to Stanford and knew I was leaving to finally have that normal life… were two such moment that come instantly to mind. I know that if I think about it, there are many more I can single out. But those kinds of laugh-out-loud, jump-up-and-down moments just aren’t sustainable. We’d be exhausted, I know I would be.

I think each of us has to find our own definition of what happiness means and these days happiness to me means contentment. It’s not an excited kind of happy, it’s more like a peaceful ease of mind happy.

It’s little moments… that first mug of hot coffee if the morning, the exhilarating-exhaustion in my body after a good run, the sounds in the Bunker of family enjoying each other’s company, lazy mornings at Ruby’s just lying-in bed having deep discussions about the sleep cycle of sharks or oatmeal vs quinoa (both actual conversations).

The trick is to notice when these things happen. Be present. Be mindfully aware of life around you.

I promise you, there are so many happiness moments in every single day.

��………………………………

Ruby

What Makes Me Happy

Sex. Good Sex.

(What? I’m a Demon. What did you expect?)

…………………………………………….

Ruby

What Makes Me Happy

My last entry was a total off-the-cuff comment. (While true), I didn’t want to lessen the question Henry wrote.

I could do another (the smell of sulfur in the morning), but I won’t. So serious face here. (And don’t tell Lucifer or Abel this. I've got a reputation to uphold...)

Sam

French Fries

Crisp Fall mornings

A spell that goes exactly like it’s supposed to

Spending weeks on a difficult planning mission and it going as laid out

………………………….

Henry

What makes me happy? Good question I surprised myself with that question too. You can find happiness in all the little moments and the memories that they leave behind. I love the little moments like throwing a bit of dough at my brother when he tried to eat it. Driving along the backroads during the fall season all the pretty fall leaves. Spending time with family even though we are hunting things. Saving children and helping kids cross over. Creating new deserts and seeing people eat them. Hangout with Crowley even though he’s king of hell I try to befriend everyone. There’s always a little hope left somewhere we just need to find it and let it shine like stars.

……………………………..

Patience

What Makes Me Happy. Well laying under the stars on a cold winter’s night. That's when the stars seem to be the brightest. That's when I do my most thinking. Being where I'm at right now with the wonderful family a girl could hope for. Saving people hunting things, that's what I have. I still may have trouble with my visions but, that's why I'm here. Everyone is so great helping me to understand them. That's what makes me happy.

…………………………..

Dean

What makes me happy?

See now that's a difficult thing to answer. Any time I find something that I think makes me truly happy, I lose it. Relationships... Dont work because of the hunting life I live... Money...only temporary and even the material things make you just want more so never truly happy. Life itself often times gets taken for granted unless of course you are me. . being as I’ve died more times than anyone can count. So I guess it makes me happy when I get to be alive. Family. Of course, makes me happy. Spending quality time with those you love but even then eventually you lose them as death holds no exceptions. It’s inevitable. So if I had to say what truly makes me happy. It would be the time I’m given to spend with those I love, this family... Sammy... Hell even Crowley... Being happy in the time that I do have. Cherishing every moment. Living life without worrying about the things I cannot control. Do I cover those things up...m mask them with an alcohol binge? Sure! But at the end of the day.. Why not just be content with the time im allowed. Be happy I’m not currently being tortured or being Forced to torture. Be happy those I care about most are safe from harm.... Be happy with protecting those I love while I can. Is this life hell? Yes most days.... Do I gain anything by complaining or being miserable? Hell no.... When you can be content with all in the world regardless of what hell you may go through. When you can willingly enjoy the company of those around you. That’s where true happiness can be found. This family the ones I love just the time with them makes me happy.

…………………………………….

Dryfus the donkey

what makes me happy

My buddy Gabe makes me happy when he feeds me all the waffles i could ever want and protects me from that jerk dean. Also flying around the bunker having fun makes me happy. Having this awesome new family too though I’m still getting used to them. Pooping on deans car was funny as long as he dont try to kill me

………………………………..

Crowley

I lay on my bed in Hell, staring up at the ceiling. Being a demon I don’t have to sleep, so instead my mind starts to wander into a dark place. “Don’t go there. Don’t. Just…..remember what makes you happy. Try….Try and list them.” I close my eyes and try to focus before nodding and taking a breath.

Henry Henry is my Pup. One of the first people who saw me. ME. Not a King, not a Demon, not even my evil history. He just saw someone who needed affection, who needed a chance to be Better. He’s my chance at redemption. To make up for everything that I failed at being for Gavin. Learning to love Henry has been one of the greatest chances I’ve had in all my life.

Dean What can I say about Squirrel? He’s my best friend. I know that I always flirt with him, and that we seem to truly be is just mean to each other. But still, I feel like he understands me in a way I never thought someone could. Dean taught me about Family, about how it wasn’t just blood, that….that he was my family. So was Charlie, and Ellen. Donna, and I think Gabriel. It seems like even Sam is warming up to me along with Ruby. Even the girls seem to be growing fond of me. Patience isn’t scared anymore, Claire and Jo seem to be warming up to me. Eileen and I bonded over dogs. Alex……Alex seems to even think I’m worth loving.

Lucifer This was one of the biggest shocks of my very long life. I actively tried to kill him once, more than once actually. We’ve really had more downs than ups. Now though…..we understand each other, our loneliness. Our desire for acceptance, and how lashing out at the people around us, keeping them all at arms length just to avoid getting hurt. How we can just talk about hellhounds, or our zombie dragon daughter together.

Shyrnolay I haven’t had our daughter for a long time, but she’s young and just so over excitable that I feel a smile just thinking about her. Still, she reminds me of my hounds when they were puppies.

My Hellhounds Growly was my first, though he isn’t with me any longer thanks to the Winchesters, he still brings me happiness in the years we spent together and the litters he sired still with me. Juliet was his oldest and her mate Hamlet are my eldest hounds now. Hamlet has a sister Tempest from the same litter. Juliet has two brothers, Macbeth and Tybalt.

I smile and sit up, looking at the foot of my ornate bed and grin. Nestled against her chest are 4 little pup’s. I reach down and stroke each silky sleeping head. Deciding to break off from Shakespeare, I chuckle. Edger, Allen, Poe, and Raven are the newest additions. A large litter for hellhounds but all precious just the same.

………………………………………

Gabe

in the interest of doing something different I’m going to do my biggest lesson learned in the style of “2 minute horror stories”

Archangels and holy fire, don’t mix. Unlessss it’s Lucifer.

Or how about this Sam... There are no prophylactics ……That work for celestial beings

…………………………………………

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aoitrinity · 4 years ago

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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synesindri · 2 years ago

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Hi! I am very interested in what opinion do you have regarding the relationship between Lucifer and Dean (within the framework of romance and canon) do you have any vision of their contact?

YES omg what an interesting dynamic. this got super long because i needed to work through it a little lol so it's going under a cut

ok so i think there are a lot of similarities between lucifer and dean (loyalty, occasional hot-headedness, strong opinions about right and wrong based on nature more than behavior (post on more of that here), willingness to make exceptions to their beliefs based on favoritism, etc). based on these, i think they have a lot of potential to get along very well — like, arguably dangerously well — specifically in situations where they don't start out on opposing sides and have more common ground. so like, human aus (especially human aus where both are hunters or otherwise have a similar social position) seem ripe for a dean-lucifer friendship or romantic relationship.

there are things that would make it hard for them to find their similarities and get along though, and for me those would be close to insurmountable in a canon context — not totally insurmountable, but really difficult. so, for example, lucifer and dean both see each other categorically as monsters, and it would take a LOT for them to get over that. dean reminds lucifer of michael — he's better than michael because he prioritized sam's wellbeing in ways michael didn't prioritize lucifer's, but he's worse than michael kind of for the same reason and because of the inferiority of humans. lucifer is kind of a brat in a way dean probably would not find very endearing. dean is suspicious of lucifer for lucifer's interest in sam. that sort of stuff. so i think a canon dynamic based on anything other than resentment and suspicion would be difficult

THAT SAID, i think there are definitely places to go with them from a close-to-canon starting point. to me in s5 lucifer seems pretty uninterested in dean other than for his similarities and dissimilarities to michael, but a LOT of that is contextual imo. like, lucifer spent all of his time in s5 in a panic-mania state of being freshly out of the cage and doing an apocalypse, which meant he didn't have the patience to pay much attention to dean as anything but an obstacle. but what if he had a reason to investigate him more?? sam is gone for whatever reason (michael got sam to say yes?? always interesting to me lol), or there's some unexpected external threat that they have to collaborate to overcome, or dean is in the cage too, or whatever. in most situations other than the one shown in s5, i imaging lucifer would be at least somewhat interested in investigating dean. dean might be less curious, but if the situation compelled him to, there would be at least a little begrudging curiosity to get them started.

i also think dean's lack of willingness to talk about things (relative to sam's willingness) would come in handy here in some ways. sam and lucifer are both great at saying a lot while hiding SO much more than they're saying, and that just wouldn't fly with dean. dean looks at fact and action, which would ground lucifer into having to confront things lucifer would otherwise prefer to abstract or justify or whatever. so i think that would be really rough but ultimately beneficial, and probably more straightforward than how other characters could approach lucifer.

anyway. all of this essentially to say that i think a canon-adjacent dean-lucifer dynamic would be very prickly and heavily about michael and sam especially at first. it would probably make others nervous to witness, because an archangel somewhat condescendingly Studying a guy and the guy being like "you're a bitch and so full of shit all the time" seems like a recipe for disaster — but i think there's enough for them to be compelled by in each other that it could prevent them from demolishing each other completely.

dean could probably benefit from having someone to take frustrations out on who isn't going to be as personally wounded by it as sam or cas might be, and lucifer could definitely benefit from having someone around who could be michael-like but who is like that about someone else in the most personally sensitive ways (like, dean reminds lucifer of michael, but all his older brother stuff is directed at sam, meaning that lucifer gets to experience the michael similarities as more of a friend or colleague, which is not something he could get from michael in the same way that sam can't get that with dean).

ALSO i think this could stand a fair chance of happening based on speculations i have about lucifer and nick: lucifer is a son missing a father, and chose as a temporary vessel a father missing a son — he's drawn to cultivating relationships that mirror the ones he lost, but that won't work the same way, and that have a somewhat different tone. so i absolutely think it would make sense for lucifer to be drawn to cultivating a dynamic with dean

so, i think this would be a difficult relationship that could settle into something that would be less difficult but would likely have pretty vitriolic flare-ups sometimes even once it was established. they're too similar and stubborn in some ways for it not to be A Big Thing when they have very different opinions/approaches to something, imo. when they're in agreement, though, they'd be a force to be reckoned with, since they each are very intense and have a lot of complementary skills. they will also probably continue to annoy each other even when they're otherwise getting along just based on reasons of personality/temperament, but that doesn't seem insurmountable if they can manage not to escalate annoyance to bigger complaints about why the other is irredeemably awful or whatever.

and then once they've decided to trust each other, in their good moments together, they both might have a lot to offer the other. dean is good with caring for others who he has decided he cares about: thanks to his upbringing, he is good at soothing, specifically in ways that are conflict-dampening and don't require people to confront hard truths too much. and lucifer can understand the journey from high-minded to tortured to cruel better than nearly any other character, but is also very good at deflecting so that conversations aren't really about him (similar to sam, in this way), so he might be a more satisfying person for dean to talk to about hell trauma than most other characters.

and then there's more light-hearted stuff. they're both sarcastic. they're both competent with making references to pop-culture (lucifer would get so good at this if he talked to dean more lol). they're both kind of blasé about fairly dark things, striking an interesting balance between cynical and jovial. dean is a hedonistic, pleasures-of-the-flesh sort of guy; lucifer seems at least more curious about what it's like to be in a body than most other kripke-era angels, so he might plausibly be interested in experiencing like, idk, food, or head massages, or human music, or sex, or drunkenness, or what it's like to feel the wind in your hair riding in a car with the windows down, or whatever else. that would be so fun for them! dean really seems to enjoy teaching people about how to enjoy themselves so it would probably be so satisfying for him. idk i feel like they could have a lot of fun together while not actively fighting/working through major issues/etc

#thank you for asking this was so fun for me to think through!!!#spn thots #dean winchester #lucifer #dean and lucifer #ducifer #replies #anonymous

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samscompliment · 3 years ago

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let’s discuss deans bi agenda actually bc ive decided he was in love the whole time. i’m sorry mr winchester for previously thinking you were stupid enough not to know but anyway heres my timeline

so initially i think that dean’s suspicious of himself early on, but it’s the eighties and he’s only ever around sam and john and theres all the OTHER fucked up stuff john put on him to deal with so he IS going to be avoiding that thought forever probably. except then he meets lee and falls for him and thinks oh. of course i would be. lots of self hating irony and so on

by s1-3 dean is out to himself and doing a couple of clandestine hookups so he probably worked through some stuff during stanford era. a lil rebellious streak like im not what my dad wants me to be but he ditched me so i am going to be WORSE and do it on PURPOSE. ash and victor and cassie and lisa etc

s4-7 he meets cas but cas is an ANGEL and there are definitely feelings of intimidation mixed in there with Whatever The Fuck Else he’s feeling so he simply decides not to think too hard about it. also its the apocalypse and hes stressed and then cas is dead so it doesn’t matter

s8 is the first turning point bc purgatory is removed from society so there’s no right or wrong. i think benny is the first relationship dean has with a man where he isn’t also hating himself for it, and so then when aaron hits on him dean thinks— well, maybe. maybe i could come out. and he doesnt but even then i think dean still sees cas as this, like, separate category in his head. bc deans feelings for him are so MESSY!! they’re wrapped up in love and betrayal and need and awe and fright. i don’t think he has an oh moment so much as i think he comes to a quiet understanding that he loves him and needs him (hello 8x17)

obviously the mark happens in s9 and that’s just a HUGE can of worms and so dean stops analysing his feelings for cas bc he has bigger fish to fry. is just sort of purposefully like well i’m not looking at that maybe if i dont think about it it will go away. it just sort of quietens down to this background noise that isn’t as obvious as lust and just simmers away beneath the surface

s11 my beloved im a “dean has the oh moment in 11x11” as per this post bc it’s literally... i see it i perceive it it’s an inherent truth to my supernatural. this is deans “oh fuck cas is the love of my life im in love with him im STILL in love with him and im not gonna love anyone else. cas is it for me. fuck” moment plus also the realisation that he actually wants it and he wants cas to love him back

of course cas is possessed by lucifer at this point so that’s a snag. i also like this reading bc then i watch them say goodbye when they think deans going to die facing amara with the soul bomb and i get soooo sad. terrible to think that he just figured this out and he wanted to act on it but now he can’t bc he’s going to die. there’s no point telling cas so he just hugs him instead and lets his face fall where cas cant see. delicious

once mary comes back there’s like a billion and one things going on hence why nothing ever gets done about it and then cas dies and jack kills mary and it is a literal fucking nightmare for a guy who just wants to tell his buddy he loves him

i have also recently decided that i like them both knowing they’re hovering on the edge of something in s14/15 but making a mutual decision not to act on it for various reasons. except then of course dean decides to tell him in purgatory bc WHY NOT and cas doesn’t let him say it but he DOES acknowledge it and they have this very soft unspoken understanding between them in the following eps. dare i say hopeful even. which is unfortunate given how this ends but i just think. god. like at the end of the day it just comes down to the fact that there’s love in deans eyes but it was there the whole time. he loved him from the start. and then they killed him closeted at forty

#this is so LONG. i will not apologise tho #going to go have a shower and cry about him now<3 today was fun though<3 #txt

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lovelyghostlyharmony · 3 years ago

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Supernatural- first 'I love you'

Archangels-

Gabriel- The first time Gabriel said he loved you was when you got slightly jealous of a waitress in a bar because she was flirting and Gabriel wasn’t doing anything to stop it. You started to feel stupid just watching it happen so you left him with the waitress and sat in the car regretting ever going out with Gabriel.

I mean, what were you thinking? Going out with a flirty archangel? Of course, he was never going to change his ways… Especially for a girl like you. ‘What was I thinking?’ you thought to yourself but, as expected, there was no answer back. You sat in the back of the car waiting for Gabriel to arrive back. Being very emotional at this time, you were trying to hold back tears, the best thing for you now was to get some fresh air. You hadn’t noticed that Dean(who had come to supervise the archangel) had got back in the car and was watching you with your head in your hands breathing slowly. "What’s wrong, Y/N?“ "It’s nothing. I just need a little air.” You stepped out of the vehicle and walked over to the railings that looked out into the sea. You breathed in the Miami sea air and smiled having finally calmed down. 'It was nothing,’ you thought, 'Gabriel and I have only been going out a couple of months so it’s not that serious.“ But your heart thought otherwise. He probably didn’t love you or couldn’t tell yet but you knew you loved him though you’d never say it. You knew it. Someone was calling your name snapping you out of your daydream. Quickly, in your best efforts to wipe away your smuggled makeup, you turned to face the person. It was Gabriel. Almost like a sixth sense (sarcasm), he knew something was wrong. "What’s wrong? You left the bar early and Dean said you were upset in the car earlier. Are you okay?” “It’s nothing,” you lied. Your voice cracked a little. Then something clicked in Gabriel’s mind. “If this is about me not tidying away the sweets from earlier, I’m sorry.” Obviously, not the right thing clicked… “No, it’s not that. It’s just, well, the waitress was flirting with you and you didn’t seem to mind,” you turned away and faced the waves lapping up against the beach, “It’s nothing. Just my imagination that you’d ever change.” You whispered the last bit so you thought he couldn’t hear but he did. “You know I love you, right?” Your head snapped around quickly. “I know sometimes that it seems like I won’t be able to get away from my reputation but today when you said the waitress was flirting I didn’t even notice because you’re the only woman I notice now. We’ve only been going out a couple of months but I love you.” Your head snapped round in surprise and you didn’t speak for a moment trying to figure out if he meant it. Gabriel saw you thinking and worry rushed over his face, “I knew it was too soon. What was I thinking? We’ve only been dating-” You kissed him to silence his rant. "I love you too.“

Michael-

The first time Michael ever said he loved you was after you’d been on a dangerous hunt and got hurt. You were in the hospital for several days in a comatose-like state. He stayed by your side only leaving if absolutely necessary. He kept whispering that you’d be okay. That everything would be fine. Little did you know that that day would be the first time Michael ould confess his love.

As soon as his father called informing Michael that you had been hurt, he immediately flew to where he had been told that you were. His mind thought the worst but Michael's heart hoped for the best. He saw you in the hospital bed and rushed to your side. After several minutes, he had taken to holding your hand to calm his nerves. An hour past a nurse, after checking your vital signs, asked him to leave. "I’m sorry sir but you’re not allowed to stay here. Visiting hours are over.” "Please,“ Michael begged her, "I love her. I want to be here if and when she wakes up.” Although he tried to calm his tone, it still insisted on cracking ever so slightly that the nurse must’ve heard and taken pity on him allowing him to stay. He'd thanked her before returning his attention to you. "Come back to me, my little angel, come back to me.“ He whispered to you quietly that everything would be okay and that you would be okay. Even though he spoke to you, it was mostly for him. After two more days and one night spent here at the hospital, Michael's heart saddened. He was sure you’d have awoken by now. This was you, you were a hero, a savior, he couldn’t have it end this way. He sighed and continued to rub small circles in a comforting manner on your hand though it had no grip and you could not respond but he hoped it would calm you. A small tear ebbed down his face but no emotion was displayed on his features. "I love you, little angel. Come back to me. Y/N, I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t say it every day before this because I’ve known for a long time that I love you but I was afraid. Afraid of rejection or not being enough for you or possibly too much. But I’m not afraid of any of that anymore. I’m only afraid of losing you, you better hurry up and get back to me because you know I hate being afraid and this time you can’t comfort me. I love you, Y/N.” he looked down to the grey floor away from you. he was about to get up and leave when your hand gripped his. His eyes fluttered open and Michael made a small cry out of joy. "Y/N…“ "I love you too.” Then he was pulled into a loving hug which he welcomed by pulling you closer so afraid that this wasn’t real or it was all a dream. You nuzzled his neck breathing in the fresh, sweet scent of him which you had missed so much while he buried his head in your neck and stroked your hair in a calming manner. It felt like you were there forever and in your opinion even if it was, you wouldn't have spent eternity any other way.

Raphael-

The relationship you had with Raphael was very complex and far from simple but the one thing that was simple was the foundations of your relationship that were made of pure love. An unspoken but known love for one another. Neither of you had ever technically said you loved each other but you both knew it. The first time you said you loved him was when you found out he was dead. You were devastated that he was gone and mourned over him. It was the first time you visited his grave where you buried him and you admitted your love for him.

You walked up solemnly up to your lost love’s grave and sat on a bench facing it. Your eyes wandered across the writing that was engraved on the tombstone. Many thoughts had crossed your mind the day you got the news that he was gone. He had apparently fought and died at Castiel's hands but some part of you thought that even though it made Raphael sound like a monster, which he was not, it didn’t seem like him. He would’ve been smarter, quicker, better than that. Maybe it was just grief. Maybe it was the last part of your mind clinging on to the last memory of him. “You’re really gone…” you whispered to yourself, “After all of that, you’re gone and I never got to say goodbye. Oh, Raphael. Why have you left me? Some part of me says to move on that you are gone but something in me says that you had one last trick up your sleeve. One last act but maybe that’s just wishful thinking or maybe it’s a deluded vision but every part of me hopes it to be true. That you’re alive. I did this before. I grieved but this is different; this is definitely worse. It’s going to be a long life without you and in truth, I don’t know if I can survive it.” You stood up and placed several red and yellow orchids upon his grave and let a tear slip down your face. “You know what the saddest part of this whole thing is? I never got to tell you I loved you. Because I did. With all of my heart and you’ll never hear it. It’s too late but I love you, Raphael: brother, son, friend, lover, Archangel, healer, and the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you.” “I love you too.” You froze. It was his voice but… He was dead. He was gone. It couldn’t be him. How could it be? You turned slowly round to see your lover standing a meter away from you with a small smile forming on his thin lips. You just stayed silent contemplating what just happen. He moved first holding you tight to his chest and stroking your hair gently. "Raphael…“ you pulled away and cupped his face almost as if to check he was real, "You lied to me,” a wave of confusion hit his face but he didn’t interrupt you, “You said after you left last time, you’d never leave me. You’d never let me feel that pain again and you lied.” His face saddened but pulled you closer and held you tight. “Don’t ever leave me again. I love you.” "I won’t. And I love you too. I’m so sorry I left you but it was only for your protection and I won’t ever be leaving again.“

Lucifer-

The first time you told Lucifer that you loved him and he told you that he loved you was when he got extremely angry and frustrated. Lately, he had been having really vivid nightmares and was starting to remember how many people he killed. Lucifer had started drinking early in the evening and when you came in he had smashed the glass against the wall and was crying out of frustration with his back against the side.

You approached him cautiously having just come in to see your boyfriend in clear turmoil and pain. You called out his name softly and tried to edge closer to him not wanting to anger him any further. He heard his name being called and looked up with anger in his eyes which soon faded when they fell on you. The stance you had taken to was now a crouch so you were at his eye level, “Lucifer? What happened?” His sorrowful and regretful eyes looked back at the ground. You thought and looked at the bottle remains which had been scattered all over the kitchen floor. “Lucifer. Let me help.” You reached for his hands but he pulled them away and continued looking down. “I just want to help, Lucifer, please let me.” He looked back up and anger filled his eyes but this time it didn’t fade. It was pure rage. “You can’t help a monster like me! A murderer! You can’t help me! Why do you stay?! Is it out of pity? Because it surely can’t be because you’re here by choice! I bet it’s my dad! he still hates me!” he cried out bundling his fist tightly. They made a crunching sound which you assumed was glass. “You want to know why I stay?” you ask, not waiting for a reply or response, you continue, “I stay because I love you, Lucifer. You are not a monster. You’re the man I love who would do anything to protect his family, who is a hero, who has a good heart, and is the amazing man that changed my life. I love you.” Lucifer looked at you with regret for shouting at you. “Do you love me?” you asked. “How could I not love you? Of course, I love you! You’re perfect in every way and I am so thankful that an amazing human like you could ever love a devil like me. I don’t know why you stay with me but I’m going to do everything in my power to treat you like a princess and try to be the decent guy that you deserve.” You smile and pull him into a hug and he quickly hugs you back. “Let’s get you cleaned up then, shall we?” you whisper into his ear not breaking the hug. He pulls away after a while and you both clean up the kitchen. You are quickly done with it soon enough. “I love you,” Lucifer says taking your small, delicate hands in his. “I love you too,” you say then kiss him.

A/N- Hope you enjoyed the longest thing I've ever written, I couldn't sleep so why not write.

if you have requests or questions send them in

#supernatural #angstwithhappyending #my imagines #romance #imagines #spn michael x reader #spn gabriel x reader #spn lucifer x reader #spn raphael x reader #spn archangels x reader

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