#I still have so many hobbies I may not be able to do bc my physical condition is worsened

[samuraisharkie]

maaaan. I miss my dog grooming job. it sucked in a lot of ways and I for sure didn’t want to keep destroying my hands/wrists and lungs, but it was a good job. I liked working with the animals and my coworkers, I liked the physicality, I liked making sure these people’s animals were as clean and well off as they could be, especially older ones. It was Hell at times but I was proud of it. It sucks to be losing physical abilities and look back on what you could once do.

[floodonthefloor]

pedestals just become babys first fic to hit over 2k kudos!!

vanity metrics are just vanity metrics etc but its nice for my closeted 17 year old kid self writing lesbian fanfiction in secret - like literally i was so scared someone would find it that i wouldn't ever write it in a saveable document and write it directly in the ffnet/ao3 box like an absolute fucking menace... (yes it caused catastrophes for me. no i did not learn from my mistakes)

idk. lots of mento health problems up in here- some of u have asked how it is i write so fast and it's because i literally. need to be writing something at all times or thinking about writing at all times bc - without getting too specific- i get super self-destructive when i can't write (again i dont like getting personal on here but sometimes the moment calls for it and im feeling yappy and self-indulgent okay) and my irl creative endeavour/hobby has been facing loads of creative blocks/challenges...being able to channel it into something like fanfiction has been really healing. a lifeline of sorts, as dramatic as that may seem. even if fanfiction isnt 'taken seriously' it still matters to me and i think it matters to a few of u too?

i dont fool myself into thinking that having a bunch of kudos and tumblr followers all having lots of fun with it makes me the next great literary mind but knowing that so many people have read it an enjoyed it enough to toss that little kudos button click on there PLUS do something as BATSHIT INSANE AMAZING as make FANART is very affirming for me so thank you :) fotf bookclub friends forever

idk if i have any stories i want to pick up post-pedestal or eoyo but there are a few ideas percolating and i certainly don't think i'll be leaving it behind anytime soon if only because you guys are so much fun and such a welcoming community that has made me feel so much less alone!!! i love u all x sam/flood

[ghostmoon1]

You know what, to start the year off, Imma make this lil appreciation post.

Now it's only been like, less than a year since I joined Tumblr about, I've been writing and drawing for years before this point, but the community here, especially the CoD community which I am mainly apart of just made me feel amazing. Everyone I've met here are some of the nicest people.

I have gotten my old hobbies back, giving me reason to write and draw again which have majorly helped with my own mental health, and now I just wanted to give the amazing people a shout out to start the year off, to hopefully make peoples days, and to just let them know that I appreciate yall!

In no specific order :3 and if you don't wanna be pinged again by me, please let me know and I won't!! No harm done, I hope this is okay :) and this is prob gonna be cringe or smt.. all sappy but like.Yeah here yall are lmao-

Putting them under the cut as there are a few :3

@gomzdrawfr - You've been a massive influence since I joined the CoD community, I adored your art from the very start, and your just such a sweet and kind person, one that I'm so thankful to have met, and so proud to be able to call you my friend. You're the first proper friend I've made here, and I can't tell you how much our talks make me smile every single time. And I'm also so thankful for the community you have sorta helped me get into, you've helped me feel comfortable interacting with more people here :3

@shadeops21 - You were honestly the person that got me to join Tumblr! I was looking for something to try and make my own Konig cosplay (that's been given up on bc motivation and Tik Tok just. yeahhh) and I found you, and all your amazing work! I basically made my account to see if you'd make any more, cause I just love what you do so much, it's got to be so helpful for so many people!!

@sleepyconfusedpotato - After Shadeops, you were the very second person I found here! And oh my gosh how much I obsessed (and still do) over your art, especially Jade. You inspired me to write my first ever fic on here, actually, where I made my first CoD oc ship with Soap, your art and what you do honestly helped me feel comfortable making something like that for myself, cause some of the toxic people on Tik Tok made me uneasy and unsure about that lol- And now, I finally have an OC I'm working in depth on, and you're my biggest reason to thank for that.

@soaps-mohawk - Your writing has inspired me so much, and I couldn't thank you enough for making your wonderful fic. I may not be like, a OG, but I've been there since around chapter 20 I think? I could be wrong, but half way through sorta. You are the biggest reason I started writing again here, you just create masterpieces. And this is the first time I've ever been hooked into a fic so much, and what got me into liking the Omegaverse (you hooked me and I can't let go of it now...) Thank you for taking your time with your writing, and thank you for all the inspiration you have given me.

@on-a-lucky-tide - Oh my gosh how much you have yanked me into the Nikprice community. I adore every single one of your writing pieces, and honestly, you are another who has helped inspire me to write more. All your writing is so filled with emotion and love, I want to be able to do that as well. Your a wonderful person, I've seen you interact with this community and everyone, and I just adore you as a person and all the hard work you put time and effort into creating.

@rainyrambles-overcod - I adore your oc's and rambles so much!! And I couldn't tell you how happy it makes me to have a friend that is okay with the tag games, I never know who to tag for those sorta things, but I actually feel okay tagging you and they are so fun and always brighten my mood :3 Keep creating, I can't wait to see what else you come up with. Thank you for all the tag games and fun!!

@nekrosmos - Yet another that has helped drag me into the Nikprice community or cult ig that too. Your art is absolutely amazing, I truly want to be able to draw like you do. Just everything about your art has me in awe, the emotion, the style, the love everything. Seeing your art brings me so much happiness! Oh and your writing is BEAUTIFUL. That also brings me joy to take a little time out of my day to sit and read the time and effort you put into everything, and how kind of a person you are. I always hope you'll keep creating, and always remember how much joy you bring both myself and others.

@daredaredoodles - I know we don't interact a whole lot, but you honestly mean a lot to me still. You were my first ever mutual on this site, and I will be forever grateful for this. Personally its anxiety that stops me from barging into peoples Dm's and talking, but yeah. Thank you for that, even if it is only a small thing.

@cricricorner - you were my first follower, and I still see you in my notifications from time to time, which always brings me joy! It's wonderful to see your followers still interact with your content, and I couldn't say how grateful I am. I couldn't tell you how happy I was to gain my first follower here, so thank you for taking your time to read my writing and see my art.

@daydreamsareallineed - You were pretty much the first person to show so much interest in my main fic!! And oh my gosh I couldn't ever tell you how much joy it brought me to read your comments, to have someone so interested in my writing, that personally I didn't even think was that good. I haven't given up completely on the fic dw, I'll hopefully update it soon! Motivation just go brrr. Thank you so much for all your support, it means the world to me.

And another shoutout to everyone who supports me, who follows me, and to every single one of you that like and reblog my content. I look through every single note I receive, I assure you none of you are left out.

And my final shoutout to everyone that creates on this site. The community here is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I adore scrolling through everyone's art, it all makes my day. I've never felt so comfortable and unjudged before. Thank you to everyone who contributes to this, you all make my day <3

This turned out a lot longer than I meant it to be- but I just wanted to share how I felt with this new year. I'm sorry if you'd rather not be pinged-

But have a lovely day :3 I love you all!!

[caffstrink]

do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

(thoughts on homeschooling rant incoming, please feel free to ignore this if you want to drop the subject haha but i have Thoughts.) i’m really of a mixed mind about homeschooling. i think most reasons people choose to homeschool end up harming the child, and i think the same about many homeschool pedagogies—even cutting certain ideological aspects out of the reason why many children in america are homeschooled, the simple fact is many parents are not cut out to be teachers, and many children, for varying reasons, are not able to direct themselves and their attention sufficiently enough to effectively teach themselves. on the other hand, though, i think there are some really good reasons why some children may need to be homeschooled—bullying is one, and several of my friends were homeschooled because of it. however, this still left them with problems later on. my partner was homeschooled for reasons that weren’t bullying but were still undeniably valid, and they were homeschooled under pretty close to ideal conditions—their mom was a good teacher, they were good at self-directed learning, and they were part of a homeschool co-op where they could socialize with kids their age—and it still left them behind in several key subjects when they started college, and with some pretty noticeable socialization gaps.

i’m myself also incredibly concerned about the direction public school learning in america is going as well. I want children, and i never thought I’d want to homeschool them, but recently I’ve been considering looking into supplemental homeschooling plans to make sure my hypothetical child(ren) would be learning what they need to know while still attending a structured, professional school environment with peers their own age. there’s other problems with that plan, of course, but i’m honestly unsure of what else i could do to help.

All of this. So like, yeah we were poor, but my parents prioritized education so much. my mom was also a great teacher and taught me and my kids outside of school to supplement it, which is probably why I did as well as I did. workbooks. so many workbooks. I remember the smell of those mfers. I just spent all my time learning. heck, my hobbies were learning! what is paleo but learning about prehistoric life?

but like, not everyone is like that. not everyone should be like that. and everyone needs a good education. it needs to happen in schools. but it rapidly... isn't.

fun fact: I have to teach my intro bio students every year how to multiply and divide fractions, bc schools just. don't teach that anymore.

but homeschooling isn't going to work out for the vast majority of human beings! it isn't a good idea in most cases!

I don't know how to fix itttttt

[mysteriawrites]

hi 🗣️ may i please request a bg3 matchup?? (i'm p sure i've done matchups for you in the past on my sideblog @frostfall-matches - i'd be happy to make this an exchange if you want!! 💪 you may ignore the fact that my requests are listed as closed lol)

raven / 20s / any pronouns / slight preference for male match but gals are fine too.

personality traits (and notes): introverted (distant, disinterested in getting close to many people, does not get lonely), extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking for help), confident (arrogant, a bit prideful), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless), even-tempered (somewhat apathetic, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but is baseline content almost always), good sense of humor, playful, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip), a bit of a troublemaker/rulebreaker, does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who don’t know what they’re doing), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, cold and a little mean when upset with someone.

hobbies: drawing (digital), painting (watercolor, acrylic), baking, cosplay, reading, taking care of plants, thrill-seeking activities, traveling.

likes: cats, sweets, good food, lattes, aromatic candles, cool weather, traveling, piercings, tattoos, puns (!), lazy days, learning foreign languages, cleaning, new experiences, people with a good sense of humor (quite subjective), when people banter back with me, people who develop their own opinions but are still willing to listen to other perspectives.

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don’t stand up for themselves, overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me, people who try to force conversation with me.

types: intj-a ; 7w8 ; love languages: physical touch, quality time.

misc.: clumsy ; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly ; studied french, korean, and latin in uni (also studied abroad) ; majors in international cultures/languages + minors in psychology and medieval history ; prone to being a bit directionless in life ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations ; life approach: to live a life of varied experiences, to not take life too seriously, to not dwell too much on the past.

physical description: 155cm, green eyes, round youthful face, curvy, dimple on one cheek, pale skin (sunburns so easily...), 5 piercings in one ear, 4+an industrial in the other, navel piercing. changes hair color/style/length frequently but it's currently mid back length and toned silver, almost always has straight bangs, hair is wavy.

in bg3 persona: wood elf ; main class ranger (gloomstalker) w/ rogue-like tendencies ; the child of merchant parents and did a lot of traveling with them when she was young but has decided to explore and adventure by herself in adulthood ; not really the academic type but is pretty book smart and willing to learn new things ; equal parts strategic and careless, depending on the situation.

Omg hi and thx for the request! Sure I’d love to turn this into a trade and thank you for all the matchups you’ve done for me in the past!

Astarion!!!

Lowkey this was an easy decision. I feel like you couldn’t be a better match for anyone else, but him. You guys have similar personalities with just enough differences to bring the necessary variety to the relationship.

I feel like you guys would definitely bump heads when first meeting due to similar traits (prideful, apathetic, loner), but once you both begin to care more for your party members including each other than sparks start to fly!

You get close very quickly because it’s so easy to banter and bounce off each other.

At first he finds you optimistic and care free nature a bit annoying at first, but then begins to find is refreshing when times are bleak.

I feel like when Astarion’s trying to seduce you for your own goals and you aren’t falling for it, it’ll be the classic troupe of where person A gets every person to swoon over them except person B which makes them want person B even more.

However when he actually starts falling for you he does get nervous and start to back off a bit, but oh no you’re not letting him get away from you that easily.

Due to your knowledge in psychology you’re able to notice his self destructive behaviors and talk him out of it, but ultimately let him take the lead in figuring out what he wants in life.

Also because of your blunt nature you’re able to deliver the hard truths that he needs to hear without sugur coating things.

Even after your mindflayer worm adventures, you two continue to adventure for awhile. Sharing lots if experiences and fun on the road.

If you get yourself into a tough altercation with some people on the road, Astarion’s charisma helps defuse the situation.

Astarion is still working on his trauma so you’ll have to work up to physical touch with him, but once you do he really likes being held and playing with your hair. He also likes to trace your tattoos.

Astarion is also an introvert so he understands how you need to have alone time as much as he himself does. Although sometimes you guys will be in the same room doing your own things and count it as quality time. (Yknow like comfortable silence)

When you’re having a chill day on the road or once your adventuring days are over, you guys have lazy days together. You’ll cuddle and he’ll read to you. You guys may get a bit intimate but don’t necessarily have sex (not saying it never happens though).

You guys exchange elvish traditions (or what astarion can remember of them) and talk about the history of faerun together.

He gets you a lot of souvenirs on the road usually different snacks and foods for you to try with the occasional scented candle or new set of paints. He even gets you seeds of the local plant life for you to grow.

You guys would get a cat. So many people say astarion is a cat person and I whole heartedly agree.

He (loves) hates your puns. He cringes so hard every time you make one (but he finds your smug face very adorable).

Yknow that popular headcanon about how Astarion’s lover would paint a picture of him so he can finally see what he looks like. Well if you would do that as like a birthday or anniversary present and man would full on cry from happiness at the gesture.

He just loves you so much and is so grateful to finally have someone in his life to bring him joy again.

Sorry id this kind of sucks im writing this early in the morning cause I was inspired.

Runners Up: Lae’zel, Karlach

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hello, hello! I hope you’re doing well and are having a nice end to your weekend. If your matchups are still open, may I request a matchup for JJK and AOT?

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

Zodiac/MBTI/Enneagram/Hogwarts house (bc why tf not?): Leo, INFJ, 1w9, Ravenclaw

Appearance: long wavy auburn hair and my eyes are more of a honey brown. I always wear round glasses. I'm pale with freckles on my cheeks and nose. 5’9, more of an hourglass shape and have a bit of muscle. If I wear makeup, I like keeping it subtle. I often just apply eye makeup and stick to shades of purple, gold, and orange.

Aesthetic: I mostly wear black and white, but I have some lilac in my wardrobe. In summer I typically wear long, flowy dresses with a jean jacket and combat boots, and when it’s colder I prefer slacks, sweaters, and combat boots.

Personality: Making an effort to understand myself and others is important to me, so that leads to long periods of pondering my actions, as well as others’. I love having me time, though I enjoy being with those close to me from time to time. I love discussing topics that revolve around enigmas. It’s not as important to have others agree with me as it is to explore the unknown with them. Since I’m reserved, I take a long time to open up to others. I’m gentle but can be (unintentionally) intimidating. I’m adventurous and have completed a dream of mine – living/working in a country that doesn’t speak my native language. I actively search for things to be thankful for. I'm easily flustered, clumsy, athletic, and conscientious. My humor is witty and sarcastic. Every now and then, I like listening to the branches being rustled by the wind and being able to gaze up at the moon and stars shining brightly, which remind me that there's a lot of beauty in the world, and I'm glad to experience it. I am happiest when seeking out information/reason. I’m really kinda superstitious…

Likes and Dislikes: I like practicing the languages I know, demonology, biology, genealogy, reading, museums, Victorian history, singing, alternative rock, and exploring my surroundings. A large portion of what I read/watch relates to the occult. Although I used to play the piano and was extremely talented, I still admire it and may want to get back into it in the future. I dislike storms, large bodies of water, and people who always turn disagreements into arguments. 

Hobbies: Writing horror stories, DnD, reading, singing, listening to music, watching horror movies, and yoga. As an avid horror fan, animated movies are for sure a guilty pleasure of mine. Coco is 10/10 for a good cry.

Pets: I don’t have any pets, but I’m a massive cat person. I love all animals, although I just feel like cats and I get each other.

Type: In terms of physical appearance, I find many features attractive and don’t have a type. However, personality wise I can handle a lot in a partner/friend but not one who belittles others. I’m someone who can laugh at myself, so I appreciate when my partner/friends can do the same. This may be super basic, but I’m the kind of person who’s very supportive of their friends/partner and just wants that in return. Too many people I’ve met have tried to take advantage of that. Speaking of which, my ideal partner would need to have a backbone and healthy boundaries. I’m not usually romantically interested in people pleasers ^^’ (NSFW related) I much prefer being dominated and feeling out of control. I get stressed a lot, so giving someone control over me in the bedroom is *chefs kiss. I’m kinda kinky and also very vocal ^^’. I try to be as open as possible with my partner, especially when it comes to intimacy and welcome discussions about what we like/don’t like.

Love languages: words of affirmation and acts of service. I love cuddling and hugging but sometimes need my space. Same with spending time together, I love it but I need time to recharge, too. I don’t really like gifts just because I feel like I owe them. That being said, I will still appreciate and adore anything they give me. It’s sweet to know that they were thinking of me.

(HEY I AM ALIVE I SWEAR! I really hope you enjoy this and have a great day!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- He likes that you get easily flustered, often times he teases you.

- Always gives you the biggest hugs.

- One day he took your glasses and put them on then asked if he looked good in them (hopefully he didn’t break them)

- He’s great at acts of service. He loves taking you out places, he reassures you that you don’t owe him anything.

- When you two are watching horror movies together, he will try and startle you. If he succeeds, he will be laughing his ass off.

- Likes to jam out to music with you.

- He listens to you talk about demonology, he always says something like “Yeah I can defeat them in a fight.”

- If he’s scrolling through social media and finds a video about cats, he thinks of you and sends them to you. (Most of them will be funny videos, like cats attacking their owners)

- The first time he heard you sing he was like “I didn’t know you could sing” in a teasing way.

Armin Arlert

- He is glad that you love to seek out information because he can relate.

- He’s really good at words of affirmation. Ever feeling insecure about your relationship or other things? He’ll be right there ready to make those feelings disappear.

- Prefers horror stories over horror movies but he doesn’t mind watching them with you. He enjoys when you talk about the horror stories that you make.

- You two love to star gaze together, pointing out all the unique looking stars above you, listening to the sounds of nature and feeling the cool air.

- He likes to take you to museums, and even go somewhere new that you both never been to before.

- He would love to adopt a cat with you, but before that he wants to make sure that he’s prepared to take care of a cat (cause cats be wild sometimes-)

Masterlist

[poupeesdecirque]

2024 - Half a year review

Long time since the last blog entry, I have to admit I was terribly buried under work and I can now breathe a bit again. I poured the very little time I had left into crafts and the attempt to feed myself well.

The first half of 2024 was wild, for the first few months it felt more like a fever dream and it still kind of does.

I did a lot in regards of crafting, mainly sewing, but photography got less and overall other hobbies were (and still are) on hiatus for me.

A big chunk of my artistic energy went into the D.Gray-man redraw project, the panel redraws were an intense project and the anniversary group as well, I was challenged a lot with my own approach of art and as all came together I directly was rewarded with a terrible crisis/art block which took a month to get through (kinda), I am now not hating on my drawn art anymore, it's only just the scans now, the colors look terrible flat when scanned but that's good progress.

Other than that my AU Fanfic 'Warmth' and the outtakes of it are nearing it's end, I don't intend to publish the outtakes but I can tell together the whole thing is over 700k words and I still do work on the final details... it's hard to end it.

Then, oh boi, I finished a lot of dolls, some were in progress since 2022 and with everything that happened the last year I it was for the better to put a lot on them on hiatus, to step back from the hobby and just do my own thing for several months.

I had cut ties with the community in begin of December and am trying to get back to it since the end of May but I feel detached still, but in a good way somehow. Like, I am not having that "omg I wasn't online for a day i have to read EVERYTHING that happened" I just... don't care. I scroll here and there and if I miss a thing, it's that. I don't even care about any feedback anymore as I cooked up my own things and let it sit for me to absorb to be fine with everything.

I can announce that except one doll, which was ordered in begin of 2023 and I see no real chance to even get it this year, if I ever will have it, we'll see, all my projects from prior 2024 are finished and the progress will be posted across the next weeks.

There are new projects, I am delighted I found inspiration in new dolls again after being withdrawn for long enough and even have a wishlist again. I am not pleased I have to deal with collars again but eh...

With everything I handled in sewing regards I will handle that as well.

I can also tell that I have grown as a person, it would get too personal here to go into all details but I can connect with people again and I have finally developed good coping mechanism, I have a better feeling and routines that I can come to when I don't feel well.

Remembering 2-3 years ago I spend almost every weekend depressed and now I am maybe exhausted from all the stress but I have grown more confident in several regards, there is still space to grow more but I am so grateful for the new friends I have found the way and the support my (found) family gives me.

I am glad I am able to go out more even though some events were harsh on me bc I was severly exhausted and didn't last long but I saw I needed the break and I tried, I attempted, that's important.

I even went back on stage and there is so much to come. Aside cons I have finished my main cosplays so far, at least in sewing regards.

I aquired so many new skills and some will greatly help me with a few doll projects I have cooked up and am really eager to start on once the base dolls/materials are here.

Dunno if this blog makes much sense, but I am incredible grateful for a lot of things right now, even with all the hardships that I went through.

There is a bunch of things I haven't figured out yet but I am certain I will find a solution it just needs more time and that's the most precious thing I have.. time.

[okthatsgreat]

new opddmh updates..... like. three of them. crazy. haven't been keeping up as well as usual (acting stuff and work tag teaming my free time and absolutely destroying it) but i have finally started to binge and i truly truly love what u r doing w makoto and miu. so different but still connecting on an in-depth level and balancing eachother out ....... sometimes a relationship is an ex-reality show killing game figurehead and the world's worst teenager fresh out of the hospital against the world. do u have any insights on the way u write relationships and connections or just them in specific that come to mind bc oh my god. please do tell

HELLO AGAIN :]!!! AND HAHAHAH THATS ALL GOOD ive been so busy also FINGERS CROSSED IM ABLE TO GET MY UPDATE SCHEDULE ON TRACK LOL

TALKING ABOUT THIS FIC!!! :] big ole ramble down below lol

(i use the word "partner" a lot here but just know i am not referring to strictly romantic relationships lol)

OHHH GOD. relationship writing advice HMM HMMMMM. it really is very complex bc there are SO many different types of relationships that can be written about ghfdgjh so advice definitely varies!!! i think something helpful that i've learned is that unless you are purposefully examining power dynamics it always helps to view both sides as fully realised characters. very very rarely do you want to have a character who is solely there to agree with their second half and have no personality or history outside of this. i see this happen a LOT with romantic pairings but it's also an important note for platonic pairings as well!! ESPECIALLY if the main focus of the story is on this specific pairing-- it shouldnt feel like one person is a human being while the other is a cardboard cutout whose only purpose is to be there for their partner. again there ARE a few exceptions to this and how it is portrayed but its the main rule i like to stick to!! :]

if i feel like ive written a character who is solely there for their partner something immediate i go to is giving both characters something that separates them!! most of the time this includes fleshing out a backstory thats different from their partner, that might influence the way they see things within the narrative. give them a different hobby, maybe a different friend group! give them a different perspective on the events that are unfolding, a different way of coping that might not be beneficial to their partner!! and remember that it is OKAY for them to not agree on everything!!!! do not be frightened into thinking you need every single relationship in your story to be perfect and unproblematic and completely agreeable, especially for longer narratives that call for conflict

OH AND IN REGARDS TO FANFICTION... piece of advice i try to follow is donttttt try to mold characters into entirely different people just so they can stay happy and agreeable with their partner lol. if theres tension theres tension!! if theyre petty then theyre petty!!!!! even if there isnt conflict and youre writing fluff, you dont have to erase their personalities just to fit them together as a happy couple! sometimes the challenge in writing comes from finding what happiness means for that specific character/pairing, and that may be very different from the typical idea of romance/happiness!!

AND NOW ON TO MAKOTO AND MIU first of all. i am so sorry for making you read paragraphs upon paragraphs of me just rambling nonsense at you GHFDKGSH BUT I APPRECIATE IT!!! and second of all this technicallllyyyy is advice i guess but its WAY more specific now!!! lol

anyways when it comes to writing their relationship most of their dynamic is based off of their differences! opddmh miu is brash and loud, and even though she is trying more and more to filter what she says she still speaks before she thinks and grows restless very easily. opddmh makoto on the other hand cant afford to be brash and loud and thinks quite a lot before he says anything, and is lot visibly calmer. so its fun examining how their differences are able to influence the other throughout the fic!!!! miu NEEDED that calming influence considering the state she was in when makoto found her, i quite frankly have no idea where the hell she would be now if makoto hadnt been so patient and understanding ghfdksghkf. makoto on the other hand is a man chained down by responsibility, so much so that his life has become extremely dull in his eyes just because of how repetitive it has started to become. miu is a serious change to this and offers him some kind of purpose while also reminding him of not only how SCARED he was as a teenager first exiting the simulator but also how unrestrained he had been before the years went by. theres a balance there!!!

but at the same time, there ARE some similarities. theyre both a bit paranoid, and even if miu is more willing to be vocal about her distaste theyre both scared of danganronpa as a company. they also both strive for some kind of peace, even if they have different versions of it-- makoto wishes to be unburdened by the weight of responsibility and his Ultimate Hope persona while miu wishes for stability in her relationships with others, even if she just isnt the best at it. its why i like writing small moments such as the two of them just sitting in the car and chatting or the most recent moment where theyre not talking at all but are still comfortable in each others company-- they dont explicitly tell the other that theyre super happy and at peace but they both subconsciously understand :)

OKAY CUTTING MYSELF OFF!!!! GFHDGFDJ THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <33

[cookinguptales]

I found you through AO3 bc your nandermo fics devastated me and really helped kick off my newest special interest and I enjoy your metas a lot. I was sad when I saw your post about being disheartened by lack of interaction. I really struggle to communicate, especially online and especially when going through things, but I wanted to say that I really like what you write and your insight and thank you for creating. I wish I could interact more often and more specifically than leaving kudos. I had a moment of social energy and I wanted to use it to send this since I’ve been thinking about your post for awhile. Sorry for rambling awkwardly, just thanks.

I really appreciate that you put the effort into sending me this message, especially because it sounds like it's not something that's necessarily easy for you to do. That was really kind. Thank you.

I was mostly talking about wider fandom trends and my experiences in other fandoms; like I mentioned in the post, wwdits fandom has actually been one of the best experiences I've had in fandom in years. (Uh. Certain anons aside. lmao.) I get more interaction here than I have in a long time, and it's one reason why I keep writing fic and meta.

I will say that it's still... frustrating, I guess, the way that social media is kind of where fic goes to die these days, even in wwdits fandom. I do still think it's largely because you have to click off the "social" site to read the fic, and AO3 in and of itself was not meant for extensive social interaction. So you do still lose out on the kinds of social interaction that other kinds of fanwork (including meta, for that matter) seem to enjoy.

I would say that the way my meta is received vs. the way my fic is received is drastically different, and I really didn't start making as many friends on tumblr until I started posting it. The fic was definitely not enough, no matter how many people enjoyed it. Again, they might list me as an author that they enjoyed, but not an actual fellow fan that they liked to interact with. I guess that's the part that's a bummer. There is a more collaborative feel to certain kinds of fanwork, and fanfic used to have that feel.

Now, though, it can be very isolating and I do see a tendency to separate author from fanwork. That can feel weirdly like erasure, like people don't want you to exist, only the work you can give them. I've even seen people complain that author's notes exist because they don't want anything to "distract" from the fic. Like an artist existing distracts from the art...? That's frustrating.

I do think it's related to greater trends re: nonconsensual commodification of art, pressure to commodify hobbies, monetization of fandom, art as "content/product" and art enjoyers as "consumer/customer", etc. It does remind me in some ways of the way that people do feel... entitled, I guess? To various artists' output as separated from the artist. (See: misuse of art for AI.)

It does feel extra frustrating to see this forced upon fanfic, though, considering that it's one of the few types of fanwork that still exists in a real legal gray area re: monetization. It's like we get saddled with all of the downsides of commercialization with none of the benefits. I feel like we should be able to opt out of all this commercialization bullshit if we're not even getting paid to deal with the shitty dehumanizing parts. lmao

Ah, I'm getting distracted again.

I guess it's nice to just actually see people talk about something you've created and interact with it. Not just leave a comment to you personally, but show it to their friends, put stuff in the tags, ask questions, start discussions about it, etc. You know, the kind of stuff that happens with other kinds of art on social media. (Meta very much included!) Things that make it feel more like you exist in a community rather than just... idk, putting down something you've made and watching it get consumed absent your presence.

I guess... to extend the metaphor, I may be the cook but I still want a place at the table. The difference between making dinner for your family vs. making dinner for a customer at a restaurant, y'know? I wanna sit down and talk, not just perform. There's a lack of community these days that I really miss.

I guess all this is mostly just nostalgia for an older form of fandom. Fic did used to feel a bit more like an interactive art form back in the LJ days. (And before, I guess.) A conversation, if you will. Sometimes that could be irritating (remember back when reviewers could be put in the fics and such on ff.net? lmao) but sometimes it was really nice.

I SOUND REALLY OLD NOW... There are some things about modern fandom and AO3 in general that I really like, especially the ability to search and filter in ways that really weren't possible ~back in the day~. But... yeah, I do feel like we've lost something, too, by making fanfic almost too easy to "consume" outside of the rest of the social fandom space.

I guess I'll go take my cane and sit down now lmao.

[moe-broey]

I do really want to buckle down and get my old WIPs presentable though, even if I do resort to just cleaning up pencil sketches (though ideally I would like to ink and color -- or even just settle for inking).

I talk a lot about my concepts and I feel bad/frustrated that I can't present them...

I would say the Veronica focused comic is like a one-shot, initially planned to have two pages (though only one was sketched/written out).

Meanwhile I have a long ongoing plotline that started off as a non-serious, silly comic, that I ended up having Strong Feelings about actually, which eventually would kick off all of my Askr sibs/Alfàr thoughts. There's a short interlude with Sharena and Lif as well in the og silly comic as well, as I was drawing parallels/trying to grasp the vibe... this comic did actually reach coloring stage, almost all character illustrations are fully colored, bg blank (which. The art is so old. I almost just want to leave it.)

And I guess that Is the nice thing about doing all of this as a hobby, like, nothing Actually has to be done perfectly, it just needs to look presentable. I can take as many or as few shortcuts as I want, and learn in the process what works for me.

Like, actually, I feel like my Henry/Libra/Nowi comic is a fantastic example of that -- the bg is extremely basic (borderline looks childishly done), and I Know I could do way more than that, but. All I really wanted was to draw something quick and fun that was exclusively focused on the characters, the joke, and the actions taking place. The background only existed for the purpose of Making it work -- you need to see that there's a river, that Henry is currently dragging Nowi towards as if he was disposing a body. And later, you need to see the river still, when Libra picks her up and throws her into it. Core point, it doesn't have to Look nice -- it just needs to perform a function.

Something else nice that I learned in letting myself do it poorly is that watercolors are really good for broad quick coverage. Which IS something I knew and was going to utilize in some Genshin comics, which ultimately got abandoned esp bc I lost the interest -- I just haven't actually Used the method in a larger piece. Which! I think is actually what I'm getting at.... being able to draw something small, not serious, with the lowest amount of effort required to serve its purpose, actually helped a lot in conceptualizing how I can approach future projects. And likewise, how I can approach cleaning up older ones that don't quite stand the test of time.... but again, I may just opt for filling in the necessary blanks (fully coloring The Characters if it got to that stage) and cleaning up what I can with updated art (which would end up being pencil sketches).

Another thing is I really want to organize everything somehow, beyond my art tag. Especially because a lot of these thoughts are interconnected, even in the case of the Veronica one-shot. And of course, the other WIPs, while disconnected at first glance, Are the jumping off point for a storyline that has A Lot of different parts. Plus, on top of all that, I actually have a lot of comic/story ideas for my summoner OC. Either to present characterization/parallels, or to be a part of another broader storyline that's interconnected as well.

I think. Maybe the main thing to get sorted Is whatever is closest to being finished, and starting from there. Which also means I'll want to figure out a navigation system..... hgnghghnhghbngh......

[vaylinas]

Meet the Roleplayer

Hello!!

I thought it might be prudent to make a wee introductory post for any potential roleplay partners to get a better sense of who I am, and what roleplaying with me is likely to be 💕

I'm Willow, I'm 26, and I use they/them pronouns. I have been writing for a hobby ever since I was a kid (here are some writing samples). I have been roleplaying for about 10 years (I'm counting my Club Penguin days, fight me 😤), so I have plenty of experience in creating a shared story (and love to do so!)

In terms of the kind of roleplays I like, I cannot lie: I love cheesy romance and history/historically-based settings 🙈 Fantasy is another great love of mine, however I do like to nail down the particulars re: magic and other fantastical elements beforehand, as I do prefer more grounded roleplays (dont confuse that for low magic, however! I am content to do such roleplays, naturally, but high magic makes for a great many wonderful opportunities, so I love to do those, too!) Admittedly, though, I can get a bit microscopic, so if you ever find me worrying about minor details, do feel free to encourage me to step back and look at the broader picture lol 😅

I very much prefer to be as historically-accurate as I can, ie I like to do research. I'm not promising its doctorate-level of accuracy, but I really try hard to be as truthful to where I take my inspirations as I can. Currently, my greatest strength is Western Europe during the Medieval era and Muscovite/Tsarist Russia, but I am more than willing to look into different eras and/or areas of the world. I cannot promise flawless execution, but I can promise my best--and improvement as my knowledge & understanding progress with the rp!

I also prefer more adult-focused rps, meaning I enjoy exploring the complicated mess that is life. Given the types of rps I like to do, that also means plenty of political machinations 😈 I love planning that stuff, it's so exciting to fantasize about what challenges our characters will face and how they will overcome them--esp if done together 🤭 I am not averse to exploring darker topics, such as sexual assault, infanticide, torture, etc. Who doesn't enjoy putting their beloved ocs into a blender? While I am open to enemies-to-lovers, I confess I'm not super great at them. I am, alas, a hopeless romantic and just want them to kiss already, damnit! However, I can be persuaded into it lol So long as I have your word they will, eventually, fall madly in love with each other and would move the heavens and the earth for the other, I'm flexible uwu

My preferred style is third-person, past tense, literate/novella (usually ~3 paragraphs, but often more). I enjoy creating fleshed-out worlds, so I'm big into both of us playing multiple characters (ie our Mains™️ and a cast of supporting characters, that we either both fully control or split who controls whom; this can, naturally, be worked out between us bc it also matters what you enjoy, too!) and worldbuilding. It's challenging, and sometimes overwhelming, but I love it. If you love it, as well, then perfect! We'll have a lot of fun working on it together. If not, so long as you are okay with it, I'm more than happy to build the world myself! So no worries if you're not big on doing all that work lol

I will be completely candid: I am slow to reply. I like to take my time to think of my replies, as I want to give my partners the best I can, and oft come face-to-face with writer's block (like.....a LOT. its annoying ugh). Plus, girlie has a full-time job. As such, I cannot promise a reply every day. The weekends are when I have the most time on my hands, so I should be able to reply on those days, but life is a chaotic thing and I'm an adult with responsibilities and chores to do, even on my days off, so you may still only get the one or two. Roleplay is something I want to do for fun in my free time, whenever that pops up, so I am looking for someone who is okay with waiting for replies. Sometimes you will get a lot in one day, sometimes it'll be once a week, I cannot say for sure. I understand this lack of consistency is a turn off for many, so no hard feelings for this being a dealbreaker! Like I said, I just want to be upfront and honest. If you are cool with all that, I would love to chat and see if we vibe with each other.

Given the aforementioned, I can only commit to one rp at a time, otherwise wait-time between replies increases and I experience burn-out much faster. I apologize for the inconvenience 😓

I also want to say: if you ever get bored or uninspired by the rp, please feel free to tell me. I understand it's scary to tell people ur not enjoying something, esp if you feel they are having a good time, but I promise I will not be mad at you. I appreciate the honesty and courage it takes to admit that. If you want to change some things around, or try a different plot, I am happy to work with you to find something that excites us both. And if you end up not wanting to roleplay with me anymore, that's okay, too. Sometimes people don't work well together, and thats okay! So long as you dont make it personal, I won't take it that way lol

I am more than happy to engage in OOC chats, but that is by no means a requirement. If you prefer to just do the rp and we only talk about the rp, thats okay by me 🫶

If you read this all the way through, I just want to say thank you! And I hope we can work together to create a shared story that makes us excited to get and send replies 💕

[jrenvs3000w24]

My relationship with nature

Hi everyone, welcome to my blog about nature interpretation! I hope I can provide some insightful opinions and engage with you all. This post will feature my relationship with nature and how it’s developed throughout my life.

I am currently in my 5th and final year of environmental science (co-op) so my relationship with nature is very broad. Throughout my undergrad I have been exposed to many different disciplines of the environment and what threatens it. I’ve gained an immense appreciation for all the environments and natural areas I encounter, including those in urban areas. I chose a degree in environmental science because the outdoors has always been important to me, whether that is going on backcountry trips or just walking around the block, spending time outside and appreciating nature captivates me. As I’ve progressed through university learning more about environmental processes and plant biology, my experiences with nature have become more meaningful and appreciative as I am increasingly better able to “interpret nature”.

I now look back on why I may have gained such an interest in the natural world and I think it stems from where I’m from. I’m from Vancouver Island in BC and I have had the opportunity to experience many different environments where the ocean and mountains converge. Here it is very easy to develop outdoor hobbies like hiking, skiing, mountain biking, and kayaking because the youthful culture in the mountains surrounds these hobbies. Spending such a large amount of time outdoors basically forces someone to appreciate the environment in which your hobbies occur. 

Here is an image of me hiking a mountain in BC.

Since living in Ontario, I have translated my hobbies and interests to suit a very different, but still very beautiful environment. “A sense of place” was not necessarily presented to me by a person, but gained my sense of place from my cottage. Located just south of Algonquin Provincial Park, my cottage is a remote little cabin on a lake. I grew up going to this cottage as a refuge from a busy life of sports and school and I still am fortunate enough to be able to spend lots of time here. My cottage is very isolated with no internet service and surrounded by a beautiful Canadian Shield landscape. The remoteness of my cottage always gives me “a sense of place” because it's a place where I can reset, destress, and really be consumed by nature. I spend lots of time behind a screen during school learning about the environment, but being at my cottage always reconnects me with the “why” I study and am so passionate about the environment.

Here is an image overlooking the lake at my cottage.

Environmental science puts a lot of focus on climate change and what causes it. The more time someone spends outside the more they can experience the effects of climate change. For example, skiing over the years I have noticed the shortening length of the winter season. I am aware of what is happening to our natural world and I want to do everything in my ability to protect it with my everyday lifestyle choices and my future career in environmental science.

Thanks for reading!

Joe

[in2thenewworld]

hi!! i got your matchup request (@frostfall-matches) and i'd love to do an exchange :) i'll request a romantic ffvii matchup, any gender! any pronouns are OK when referring to me

personality traits: introverted (distant, disinterested in getting close to many people, does not get lonely, takes a long time to open up or even to interact sometimes), extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking for help), confident (arrogant, a bit prideful), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless/insensitive), even-tempered (somewhat apathetic, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but is baseline content almost always), good sense of humor, playful, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip), a bit of a troublemaker/rulebreaker, does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who don’t know what they’re doing), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, cold and a little mean when upset with someone.

types: intj-a ; 7w8 (yes i know type 7 is super uncommon for intj but i promise it makes sense somehow lol) ; love languages: physical touch, quality time.

hobbies: video games, watching anime, drawing (digital), painting (watercolor, acrylic), baking, cosplay, reading, taking care of plants, thrill-seeking activities.

likes: cats, sweets, good food, lattes, aromatic candles, cool weather, traveling, piercings, tattoos, puns, learning foreign languages, new experiences, people with a good sense of humor (quite subjective), when people banter back with me, people who let me tease them, people who develop their own opinions but are still willing to listen to other perspectives.

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don’t stand up for themselves (i tend to look down on/clash with people who are overly insecure), overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me, people who try to force conversation with me.

misc.: clumsy ; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. “bust this popsicle stand” instead of “blow this popsicle stand”) ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly ; studied french, korean, and latin in uni (also studied abroad) ; majors in international cultures/languages + minors in psychology and medieval history ; prone to being a bit directionless in life ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations ; life approach: to live a life of varied experiences, to not take life too seriously, to not dwell too much on the past.

physical appearance: ~155cm/5'1", round cheeks, single dimple on right cheek, green eyes. constantly changing my hair, it's currently layered, mid-back and toned silver, with straight bangs. navel piercing, 5 piercings in one ear, 4+an industrial in the other. i tend to dress in this alternative/hipster mix (flannels or leather jackets, tank tops, combat boots, fishnets). my color scheme is black/gray/dark green. i am consistent with skin care and hair care, but i almost never wear makeup aside from mascara.

hell yeah, let’s do this thing :D

matchup loading… ε(*´･ω･)っ†*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..☆

Your match is…

TIFA LOCKHART!

She shares something of a similar introverted nature to yourself. She can be quite reserved, especially around new people. She can completely understand that you take a little while to open up, but she’s always there to listen when you need her.

Although you may reject outright help from people often, she’ll start to do little things that make your day run a little smoother. Nothing too extravagant but sometimes the smallest things make a difference. She won’t do anything big considering your dislike for grand gestures, though, so no need to worry.

Tifa is known to be a voice of reason for the people around her. She can quickly pick up on you being cold or distant, and is always happy to talk things out in a grounded manner. You never have to worry when approaching her. She’d much rather you be upfront with any reason you’d be upset. This makes for all round pretty good communication between you both. Minimal arguing, more talking, because you’re exactly on the same page here.

You’re a thrill seeker, which totally appeals to her. In that sort of vein, let her teach you to fight! Especially since you’re not afraid to stand up to anyone you see doing the wrong thing, authority included. It’s always good to pick up some new self defence skills.

She also really appreciates that quality within you. Tifa has strong values, and she holds herself and others to do the right thing.

If you’re a lover of good food, I presume this extends to drinks. Whether you prefer beverages with or without alcohol, she’s determined to mix your new favourite. And yes, she will absolutely be doing tricks to impress you everytime.

In turn, she’d be thrilled if you ever decide to make anything for her considering your creative hobbies. She’ll treasure all of the gifts you give her for life.

She’s a good bit taller than you at 5’6”, and since you share similar styles, she’ll subtly encourage you to borrow jackets, shirts or anything of the like. She might not let you know outright but it’s not difficult to decipher that she finds it high key cute. (And if you don’t figure that out, Aerith will be sure to let you know anyway.)

Quality time is super important to Tifa. She’s happy to do almost whatever so long as you’re together. And she’d absolutely love to hear of your passions and experiences. She’s been in the same place for so long, she definitely wants you to take her with you next time.

Taking life as it comes really aligns with her in many ways. She’s learned that home is more about people than places or things, and you’re her solace more than anyone else.

She can be pretty harsh on herself, pressuring herself to do better. Although she isn’t a blatant pessimist or completely insecure, sometimes you can see she’s feeling down on herself, even when she’s trying to hide it. You remind her to let that go, while still maintaining much of her ambition. You help her see from a different perspective when she needs it most. She’s someone who can take advice to help herself, rather than dwelling in her own emotions when there is a solution.

I can imagine she tries to learn a few foreign language phrases from you, since it’s such a passion of yours. She’ll make the effort to remember what you teach her, and it seems to be a success. What you later learn is you’ve actually taught two people on accident, because Marlene has started to pick up a couple of these phrases now, too, from hearing you guys. Well, if the shoe fits! Always good to see her learning something, even through slightly unconventional methods.

Tifa quickly learns once you two start to date and become close that you can be the clumsy type. It then becomes an automatic sixth sense for her to keep an eye out for you. She’s got her arm out when you trip, she catches you if you fall, and so on. You slowly pick up on the fact that since you two got together, your “stupid” injuries have significantly decreased.

She loves your banter and how you make her feel at ease. Constantly catering to everyone else with a smile and rejecting your own needs isn’t the best habit. However, with you, her smiles are all 100% genuine. Conversation is never forced between you both. She’s easily the best company you’ve ever had, and she feels the same way.

Ahh I absolutely loved writing this matchup! 🥺 I hope you enjoy it as much! :)

[theloveinc]

Hey can I ask you something off topic?

I'm 19 and still in highschool but I feel like I missed out on life, y'know? Like, I see all my peers out there participating in community service, having jobs, going to clubs. There's a junior I know that has a 4.0 GPA while a senior like me is stuck with a 3.5. I didn't have a car or did any of my family members since I started HS so i wasn't and still isn't able to go to school clubs, get my driver license because I have nothing to practice on, etc.. I just feel like, why am I still trying? Everything in life depends on these key factors. Or do they? I am so lost. I'm almost graduating and it feels like I'm nothing? I don't even know what I'm doing and I'm very scared.

I feel comfortable talking to you because you seem very real? Lol and an adult 😭

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how are you?

Like, how did you do it?

Ofc you can ask, it's very sweet that you trust me and reached out!🖤🖤🖤

One thing I can say for certain, right off the bat, life absolutely DOES NOT depend on these factors. It may seem like it, partially because of society and partially bc everyone around you is talking about the future and driving cars and doing w/e, but there is no, one (much less right) way to experience high school, nor the life you live both in between and afterwards.

That being said, I'm not gonna lie and say there was nothing you missed out on, yes, high school could've been more exciting, but that same thing can be said about literally anything and everything, and this portion of your life is barely the tip of the iceberg. The real good news here is high school isn't supposed to be the best part of your life!!

(Imagine if it was, you'd feel equally as weird leaving it behind, just for different reasons. It's good to feel like you're ready to move beyond wherever it is you're stuck... that means you're maturing and ready for new things.)

Based on the things you've said, I'm also presuming that one of the reasons you might feel so lost is because, like you mention, you're not immersed in any big community like the ones you notice your classmates in, such as band, sports, clubs, etc. That's something I went through too, but is easy to remedy with time. It's very possible that this sense of distress is due to boredom as well as a lack of satisfaction (among the rest of it all, i don't want to downplay your feelings), which is why it might seem so difficult to imagine something else for yourself, even if that doesn't mean it's not out there for you to find.

There are many communities out there for you to explore, as well as hobbies to start, and it's not, and never is, too late to start doing what you see your friends doing. Even if it's not possible for you currently, there will always be clubs to join, jobs to get, community service to do, and even make more friends!!

(Some simple hobbies I enjoy are coloring books, word searches, crocheting, lanyards, diamond dots, journaling/scrapbooking... things I can do while watching TV, and etc! I can always go more into depth about this, too kasdjfkad)

It's not easy getting your butt out there to start these things, I admit, but it does end up snowballing once the process starts. Even if it's just something little, like asking to join your friends even if you just sit on the sidelines, picking up trash around your neighborhood, or applying to work somewhere close by with limited hours... you never know what's going to stick until you try it! And you're never obligated to stay if you hate it, either.

As for your GPA, don't give a shit about that. I know it's hard NOT to compare yourself to others (i struggle with that, too... my roommate is nearly two years younger than me and is graduating college in three years while i've been in school for FIVE), but a 3.5 is an AMAZING gpa to have! It's also not reflective of anything. I know it might seem like it is, but the second you gradutate, your high school grade concerns are going to be the LAST thing on your mind. Plus, if going to college soon is one of your plans, I can 100% assure you that more schools are going to accept you than you think (i barely graduated high school and got into almost every four year i applied to)!

It's hard to give you any other advice without truly knowing the situation you're in (what your long term goals are and how you plan on getting there, + what's legitimately and physically stopping you), and I don't want to make this conversation all about the things I did (really what's helped things improve for me is just taking time to be okay with going with the flow and getting on medication, lol) but you shouldn't feel like you're trying for no reason. It might be confusing, you might feel lost or even abnormal under the circumstances you see around you, but graduating high school is a weird transition period in life ANYWAY and feeling confused about where to go is normal (I can bet that junior with 4.0 is stressing so hard about their future, too. You're both working hard, just maybe for different things! You're honestly very brave to admit this, a lot of people keep these emotions to themselves and sometimes until it's too late to fix them).

You have so many options ahead of you. Even if you don't know what they are yet, or it takes a lot of patience to find them, this isn't the end of your happiness nor should you internalize it feeling that way. Whether your future consists of taking time off for yourself OR staying in school, working, traveling, volunteering, or etc., in any order and in any way you want, you deserve to be kind to yourself as you make the journey of figuring out what it is that you enjoy doing. You don't have to have all the answers right now, many of them will come with time, and even if they don't, that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong nor need to compare yourself to others.

All in all, I hope this wasn't a waste of a read for you. Really I'm sending all my love and tons of luck your way...!! I know what it's like to feel like there's no conclusion to something that requires one, but just as I learned (and we all do, eventually) to be okay with proceeding to no end, you will too. And in a way that will bring you so much joy!🩵🩵🩵

Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to speak on these questions. I'll always be here if you need anything or have anymore questions, and I'm excited to hear about whatever you decide to do next, whenever that may be! It will come.

[anotherfuckingmarvelfanaccount]

Peter’s Birthday

Oh my God, 3 fics in a week. Must be some sort of new record between my writer’s block and school. Don’t expect this often, I’m just priortizing writing more than some of my unnecessary (unhealthy) hobbies (scrolling through social media and rereading texts that only make me feel bad about how happy/stupid i was). Is that a toxic trait? I feel like that’s probably a toxic or a self-depreciation kinda thing or something. Oh well. I had so many ideas for Peter that he definitely gets a birthday next year, and maybe the year after that. 

My Masterlist

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Reader, Implied!Happy Hogan x May Parker, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts

Warnings: Fluffy!!! implied smut right at the end, reader kinda has a mental breakdown bc she can’t cook, she also got fired for no reason (but let’s just go with her boss made sexual comments and she didn’t reciprocate the feelings bc peter and so he fired her bc that seems like it happens enough), matt murdock is mentioned, he also gets shot and comes to the reader and peter to get patched up, reader knows how to do stitches bc of peter. mentions of violence, guns, bullets, a drug ring, and punisher

Word Count: 2509

Summary: After being fired from your job, Peter gets you a new one working for Nelson and Murdock. After you burn his birthday dinner, Peter reminds you that you’re going to May’s for a party tonight. After the party, your new boss needs some stitching up after a nasty fight. What a day in the life of Spiderman’s girlfriend, especially on his birthday.

Just before Peter’s birthday, you were pretty much broke. You had just gotten fired from your less-than-minimum-wage-paying job, and were in the process of job searching. Even though the pay was terrible, it was still better than nothing. And you were looking specifically in the proximity of Stark Tower for your next job, especially since you knew Peter was Spiderman and was working for Tony. You weren’t a superhero, but you helped out when you could, especially with patching Peter up, since he was very prone to getting beat up by not-so-friendly neighbourhood purse robbers. You still got him a nice card and everything, but you felt terrible that you couldn’t afford a gift for him. 

He knew how much you were beating yourself up over this for about a week beforehand, and reassured you that he didn’t need anything, only you.

But you felt shitty about not being able to get your own boyfriend a gift for his birthday, especially after the beautiful necklace he had gotten you for your last birthday. A spider with an engraving in the back that said “For my princess, I love you.” and unless he had 3-D printed that shit with Ned, you knew it had to have been expensive. So you decided to make Peter a spectacular birthday dinner.

Except you burned the pizza you were trying to make from scratch. So then you tried to make him a birthday cake.

But you forgot to add eggs to the cake and then you overwhipped the icing. Finally, as a last resort, you tried to make your mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

Yet somehow they wound up raw on the top, burnt on the bottom, wonky, and completely unlike the way your mom makes them. Not being able to take it anymore, you burst into tears after closing the oven. You couldn’t buy your boyfriend a present due to lack of funds, make him dinner, cake, or cookies; and you couldn’t even order takeout because of just how broke you were while trying to find a job in New York.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was how Peter came home to find you. Surrounded by blackened pizza, a deformed cake, chunky icing, and lumps of cookies. And bawling your eyes out.

“Hey, hey, princess. What’s going on?” He asked softly, coming over to wrap you in a hug.

“I- I-” You hiccuped, not being able to get your words out.

Peter rubbed your back, letting you cry. “It’s okay.” He mumbled, surrounding you with comfort. “I’m here, princess. Everything’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” You wailed, still surrounded by your failed creations.

“Then you gotta tell me what’s wrong, princess. Why are you crying?”

“I- I’m too broke to buy you anything after I got fired for no goddamn reason, I burnt dinner that I was trying to make you, I forgot to add eggs to the cake, I overwhipped the icing, and I don’t even know what happened to the cookies, but they look both raw and burnt! And I’m too broke to order in takeout, unless you’re buying, we’re gonna have to go hungry tonight because I’m too broke and stupid to do anything!” You cried, sobbing into Peter’s shirt after your hell-hole of a week. 

Peter softly shushed you, letting you cry into his shirt, knowing how emotionally taxing the last few weeks have been on you. “Honey, I got you a job.”

You made a questioning noise, pulling your head out of the collar of his shirt. Ah, I’ll get the tear stains out in the laundry this weekend. You thought, looking at Peter curiously.

“It’s not with Mr. Stark.” He started, “But you will be working with a superhero. At the very least I’ll know you’re protected.”

“Don’t tell me I’m running PR for the Hulk.” You said, smiling softly at your protective boyfriend.

“You are definitely not Bruce’s new PR person, but that is a great idea, he definitely needs that after Hulk hasn’t been let out in a while. But no. I got you a job working at Nelson and Murdock, you’re gonna be a secretary there, and Mr. Murdock, or Matt as he’ll insist you call him, is Daredevil.”

“You got me a job at Nelson and Murdock, working with Daredevil, in Hell’s Kitchen?” You asked, summarizing what he said.

Peter nodded. “I did, yes.”

“Oh, Peter!” You wrapped your arms tighter around his neck. “God, I love you so much. What would I ever do without you?”

“Well-”

“We’re not talking about the ruined food surrounding us.”

“I was going to say you’d be a lot safer, but since you mention it..”

You glared at him jokingly. “Help me clean it up, please?”

“Of course, princess.” He said, kissing your forehead. “And don’t forget that we have to go to May’s tonight for the party she’s throwing for me.”

“Oh, I forgot! I wouldn’t have tried cooking if I had remembered!”

“It’s okay, my love. Everything’s okay. You go get ready, and I’ll clean up the mess.”

You kissed Peter softly, thanking him, and heading into your shared bedroom to get changed. You took a quick shower, washed your hair and blow dried it so that you wouldn’t have to wait for it to dry. When you came out of the bathroom, Peter was all dressed up in his suit and there was a dress on the bed that matched the tie laying next to it.

“Of course you want me to wear your favourite dress for your birthday.” You chuckled, dropping the towel from around your torso and getting Peter to help you into the dress. He did the most important part, of course, zipping you up in the back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While you started on your hair and makeup, Peter used the full-length mirror in the bedroom to tie his tie. It wasn’t until you glanced over at him that you remembered that Peter can’t tie a tie. “Pete, c’mon in here, you know you can’t tie ties. Now, while I’m tying, you pick the eyeshadow and lipgloss or lipstick you want me to wear, birthday boy.”

“What about that really bright pink lip gloss that you love wearing when you’re teasing me because of how good it looks on you? And maybe pair it with this eyeshadow?” He pointed to your favourite shade of eyeshadow on your favourite pallet. (A/N:If you have more than one eyeshadow pallet, unlike me. What? Who only has one in this day and age, I know.) 

“Of course, Petey. When do we have to get there again?” You said, straightening the tie around his collar.

“Sweetheart, we moved a floor up. We just have to take either a flight of stairs or the elevator for one floor.” Peter chuckled, softly kissing you before you finished your makeup so he wouldn’t ruin anything.

You sighed while doing your eyeshadow, “That means May heard the smoke alarm going off when I burned the pizza.”

“Probably, yup.” Peter said, kissing the top of your head. “But you know she’ll just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m definitely not. But you got me a job, so I guess I can’t complain too much, can I?”

“You start Monday, and Mr. Stark is bringing Matt to the party tonight so you can meet him.”

“Oh yeah, who’s coming to this thing?” You asked, pulling your favourite lipgloss out.

Peter rested his chin on top of your head, lightly wrapping you in a hug. “May, Happy, Tony, Pepper, Matt, Ned, and MJ. And then you and me.”

“And we’re definitely getting kicked out early tonight because May and Happy will want to spend the night together.”

“Don’t tell me things like that, princess. I don’t wanna hear about who my aunt’s dating.”

You chuckled, giving yourself one last glance over in the mirror. “I’d say they’re doing a little more than dating, sweetheart.”

“I did not need to hear that.” Peter said, putting your heels on for you and dragging you out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the party, you and Peter went back upstairs to your apartment to tuck into bed for the night, and possibly the weekend depending on how you woke up feeling. One way or the other.

Matt Murdock was really nice, although what Peter had forgotten to tell you was that Matt’s blind and has enhanced senses. His hearing is impeccable, he was even able to tell when Peter was teasing you at the party based on how your heart rate changed, from across the room.

Note to self: Don’t flirt with Peter at work. You thought, realizing that Matt also probably had an enhanced sense of smell.

A tap at the window brought you out of your brain, finally allowing you a little peace, until you realized that Peter was snoring peacefully next to you and was not the idiot currently tapping on your window. You disentangled yourself from Peter carefully before creeping to the window and opening the curtain a crack. What, did I think about my new job too much? Can he read minds too?

“Matt?!” You whisper-yelled, “What the fuck are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night! I haven’t even started work yet!” Instead of speaking to answer your questions, he just moved his hand off of his shoulder, which definitely had a bullet sitting in it right now and was going to be gushing all over your bathroom in a minute. “Come in, don’t drip on the floor.” You sighed, giving your new boss entry to your home through your bedroom window.

“Nice place.” He said, walking over to the bathroom where Peter had surely told him that you keep the first aid kit.

“Princess?” Peter groaned softly, waking up slightly. “What’s going on, where are you?”

“I’m right here, Pete.” You told him, walking over to the bathroom. “Apparently I’m going to be spending my nights patching up two self-sacrificial idiots now. Fuckin’ superheroes.”

“Two? I thought I was the only one you patched up.” Peter moped, following you into the bathroom.

You gestured to Matt, sitting on the edge of your bathtub. “I was, except saying ‘no’ to my new boss seems like a bad idea, doesn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t fire you for not patching me up, kid. Peter told me that you help him out when he’s hurt, and I got into a bit of a predicament tonight.”

“I thought the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen didn’t like guns.” You mumbled, dipping the tweezers in some rubbing alcohol.

“I don’t.” He responded. “Jesus, fuck, that hurts!”

“I thought you were Catholic, Matt.” You said, pulling the bullet out of his shoulder.

He chuckled, “I am, but I swear when I’m getting a bullet out of my shoulder.”

“Fair point. You don’t mind if I sew this up, do you? A band-aid won’t fix this.”

“Whatever you need, kid. Just as long as I don’t bleed out on your floor.”

“Can’t be killing my boss before I even get to my first day of work.” You said, threading a small needle with medical thread.

Matt raised an eyebrow, “Is that medical thread? How do you know how to do stitches?”

“I took a medical class in highschool, May works at the hospital, and Peter’s been a clutz since we were kids. I’ve seen him sewed up more than once before I started doing his stitches.” You told Matt, tying the knot around the end so you wouldn’t lose the needle. “I’d ask if you’re ready, but you’ll know before I pierce your skin anyway.”

“I will, so go for it, kid. You can’t hurt me more than I already am.”

You nodded, starting to thread his wound shut. “Good job getting it to stop bleeding, princess.” Peter said, kissing your forehead softly. “But Matt, who’s shooting at you with a .38 at 1AM halfway across the city? And why come back to this end to get sewn up? Don’t you have someone that helps you?”

“I don’t have anyone that helps sew me up, sometimes I can call Foggy if I know he’s not with Karen, but since they’re usually together, I usually have to hope that I won’t bleed out in my sleep.”

“You’re sending a text to one of us with your location, and we’ll both be there. There’s no need for you to get all the way from Hell’s Kitchen to Queen’s with a bleeding wound.” Peter said, pulling the roll of bandages out of the first aid kit to pass to you when you were done with Matt’s makeshift stitches.

“And would you believe me if I said I was busting a drug ring?”

“The only part I would find unbelievable is that you didn’t have backup.” You said, beginning to wrap his shoulder. “And don’t give me the whole ‘The Devil works alone’ spiel because I know that Daredevil and Punisher are quite close, and you could’ve called Peter or Tony for backup. No more working alone, because eventually you’ll bleed out before someone can fix you.”

Matt smiled, eyes moving back and forth between where you and Peter’s voices were coming from. “Okay. If I see something that I can’t handle alone, I’ll send a text to Frank or Peter, and if I get into trouble from something that I can handle, I’ll text either you or Peter to come patch me up, kid.”

“Sounds good to me.” You said, cutting off the bandage and tucking it in. “Try and change those in the morning, and if not, we’ll swing by to change them for you. I’ll change them Monday when I get to the office.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” Matt said, pulling you in for a hug and heading over to the window. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Take the door, Matt.” Peter said, leading him through your tiny apartment. “Elevator is at the end of the hall, on the left.”

Matt chuckled. “I can hear it whirring, Pete. But thank you.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Matt.” Peter said, closing and locking the door behind him. He turned around to see you leaning in the doorway between the living room and the bedroom.

“Can we cuddle?” You asked, making grabby hands for your boyfriend.

Peter smiled, coming over to wrap you in a hug. “Of course we can, princess.” The two of you, still hugging, walked back to the bed. “Did you clean up the bathroom?”

“I put everything away and cleaned up any residual blood. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can, baby girl.”

“Are you upset that I didn’t do anything.. sexy for your birthday?”

Peter hugged you tighter, kissing the top of your head. “Of course not. We can do anything any day of the year, we don’t need to do anything special for my birthday.”

“Maybe we’ll be in a better spot next year and I can do something special for you.” You said, peppering kisses across his chest.

“..What if we did something now?” Peter asked, rolling the two of you over.