#as they say
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bathing.
𐀔 pairings: cast (astarion, gale, wyll, lae’zel, shadowheart, karlach, halsin) x female!tiefling!tav (reader).
𐀔 content warnings: suggestive, everybody is a little freak, non-consensual voyeurism, implied scent kink (gale), mentions of scars, afab anatomy. tiefling anatomy.
𐀔 sypnosis: what is a warrior to do when all their companions are peeping toms?
𐀔 author’s note: they are freaks and its been very long since i’ve written. please forgive a lady if what she’s written is unappealing.
“Can you keep it – fucking quiet?!”
Astarion whisper-yells at the entire party of people hiding within bushes and treelines, all fighting tooth and nail like rabid animals for a peek (and taste) of their ragtag, frustratingly attractive leader’s curves.
They didn’t even mean to stumble into eachother, each to their own blindly traversing through the thickets of the woods towards the nearest river. Tav simply mentioned having to retire early to take a bath (much to Gale’s dismay), and they all hungrily jumped towards the opportunity like dogs to a meatless bone, the one of the hopefully many chances they’ll see you naked, vulnerable, and shivering – even if it’s only due to the lack of warmth in the river’s streams.
It’s wrong, debauched, even. Hells, even literal devils, Karlach and Wyll, wear faces ridden with shame. Of course, they (namely Astarion and Lae’zel) poked at the others stalking as if they weren’t shamelessly doing the same.
The tension in the air was thick, each a barrel on the verge of explosion ready to wipe out the recently discovered possibility of rivalries and competition – but they couldn’t blame eachother; there was just something about you that made you so very enticing. They all thought it was incredibly silly to think only one person would want you.
“Well,” Astarion clicked his tongue in displeasure, having his private time foiled. Still, he smiled sardonically. “we’re all degenerates, it seems. We’re all looking forward to having a... fun time.”
A deep rumble came, and it surprisingly did not come from the forest ground. It was simply Halsin, all too polite and calm smiles. Astarion groaned; he was sick of this big fucking oaf with hearts for eyes and a log of wood for brains. “We are not depraved for simply yearning to admire our friend in a state of tranquil—”
“Oh, please! Don’t act like a saint in front of me!” The vampire spawn huffed, hands on his hips. “We’re all here for the same reason, we all want to see Tav fucking naked, no point in lying now!”
Tints of red and pink all rushed to everyone’s faces, and even Shadowheart was reduced to fiddling with her fingers together. Though awkward coughs ensued in the air, not a single word of denial was uttered.
Karlach is first to speak up, ever brazen. “It’s true!” She says with her signature sharp smile. “I wanted to see her tits!”
(Lae’zel and Astarion nodded approvingly to Karlach’s honesty. Halsin and Gale quietly shared their sentiments on their preference to your ass. Shadowheart and Wyll could not disagree to both.)
Amidst their busy conversation and debate regarding your body’s fine qualities, the alarmingly close and approaching noises of branches snapping and leaves crunching had rendered them silent, panicked shivers and goosebumps on their skin. With shared glances and only a few split seconds to react, the party floundered and flailed for whatever they could use to stay hidden.
“Settle down, you circus; Tav’s coming!” Wyll is the first amongst the party to silently and comically dive into a bush with Karlach, clutching their tails to avoid it rustling about in excitement. Halsin had thrown Gale and Astarion atop a tree’s thick branches before joining them. Lae’zel, disappointingly, camoflauges just well with the greenery, watching Shadowheart flounder about and settle for lying on the ground with grass over her face.
“All you filthy ska'keth.” Lae’zel hisses, letting everyone know of your now visible presence, the halting of your footsteps along the other edge of the river. “Enjoy the show.”
Across the distance, their focus had been shifted to you and now solely you.
You quietly groan, trudging towards the river you’ve been searching to no end, you set down your basket of fine oils, herbs and waxes as your armored limbs ache and practically cry for a dip in the clear stream. With no haste, you take in the cool night air, this little moment of peace, away from prying eyes you’ve fought long and hard to obtain. Sweat trickles down your throat, your tail swaying in contentment in the calm atmosphere.
Quickly deciding you’ve had enough of the crisp air, you reach towards your body to unclasp and unfasten the many buckles on your durable armor – starting with the iron top, quickly taking it off to reveal your bare, battle-worn chest and hastily discarding the metal on your legs, throwing them aside in favor of letting the cold air bite at your naked, scarred body before you go into the water; allowing your body a little moment of respite from the suffocation and heat of tight, bloody armor – even letting your tail sway around freely instead of being constricted to being stiff. A content smile creeps its way onto your face.
You lightly step your way from the sand to the edge of the water, continuing to walk until you’re trembling from the cold, until you’re hips-down in the water. A grateful sigh is pulled from your lips as you start to wade about, your hands subtly working to wash the dried blood, gore and grime off of your body and hair – using the oils and wax soaps of sweet woodruff and wine from your basket, even scrubbing your horns. A little part of you finds this normalcy almost unfamiliar, uncomfortable; it’s been quite a while you’ve taken care of yourself. Your thoughts start to drift; prior to your abduction by the Nautiloid ship, were you ever taken care of, like this? By other hands, even?
(You hope so.)
Another sigh is dragged out of you, though wearier as guilt treads within you. Just a little moment of peace, of indulgence before you go back to the dreadful task of keeping your companions and yourself alive and fighting. Just a little more time. You think you deserve it.
A silence was washed over the forest, and the party as they all beheld you and your battle-worn body. It felt almost sacred, like doing this would have them damned to the Hells and below but it was simply too captivating. Your bodice was a web and a product of war, and they were caught mesmerized – with only the dense forest and one another to witness their quickly unravelling need for you. But even then, they felt some semblance to pity. What they wouldn’t give to the gods right now to be by your side and give you some tending to.
The ridges down your back, the swaying base of your tail, the alluring image of your hips and ass teasingly disappearing into the water below, the silhouette of your horns – that untroubled smile on your lips – they all drink it in with their eyes in a fashion similar to Astarion’s throat would with your blood.
They savor it for as long as they can, before stepping out of the trance as Gale himself not-so-quietly attempted to clamber down from the rough-bark tree he was settled in, dropping down to the dirt and crushing the leaves loudly and ungracefully. Shadowheart gaped with mortification at him from the ground, everyone wishing to every god above you would have mistaken the sound as a particularly large animal, perhaps an owlbear and not a wizard along with an entire party intruding on your privacy.
“Gale! What in the Nine Hells are you doing?!”
Astarion had settled for whisper-yelling once again, pointing at him accusingly from his position atop the tree’s branches besides Halsin. Gale waved his hand, silently telling him to shut the fuck up, before urgently pointing at your discarded armor and clothing, then proceeding to give him a big smile and two thumbs up.
Surely enough to the mortification of the party, he quickly cast Misty Step over himself to travel to your area and hastily swiped (stole) anything soft – including your unattended bandages and undergarments, taking a small moment to put it to his nose and re-casting the spell to return below the tree within a few seconds. He wallowed in his pride before with a swift motion, tucked the newly acquired materia into the pockets of his robe much to the discomfort (and mild envy) of all of them.
“A man has to do and take what he can.” Gale reasoned to nobody in particular, nodding solemnly as if he just shared a piece of wisdom. He suppressed a yelp as Lae’zel then threw a rock at him, followed by another as Astarion thwacked a small branch straight to his forehead from above.
“Just leave it.” Wyll snidely commented, fighting with his life to tear away his eyes from your moonlit form, breaking out of a trance. “We should leave, go back to camp. It’d be suspicious if everyone just disappeared.”
“Ugh, you are such a killjoy, Wyll.” Astarion rolled his eyes but complied, scaling down the tree quietly, much unlike Gale earlier, who was still fiddling around his pockets with your intimates. “A party pooper, even.”
As repulsive the idea to leave you was, it was reasonable. Begrudingly, everyone quietly sat up or climbed down and quietly attempted to find their way through the dense, dark forest, sharing little observations and hushed chitchat along the way. And soon enough, the party found themselves in familiar territory, now gathering around and settling down near the campfire like they previously had before you announced your leave, as if they didn’t just claw their way through eachother earlier to see a scrap of your vulnerability.
The fire cast a warm glow over the party as they immersed in chitchat, a few (namely Shadowheart and Astarion) pestering and even offering a bargain to Gale for the underclothes he had nicked earlier. The wizard was not deterred; fair and square, he wagged his finger as if to say nuh-uh to the seething two. It was only shortly after, that you came stumbling back into camp like a lost fawn, hair and body language calm and loose but the armor remaining stiff on your body.
Karlach coughed to let the others know you had arrived from your personal time. “Soldier! You’re back!” You greeted her with a nod, before raising a brow and sweeping your eyes amongst them. Gale swallowed, placing a protective hand over the pocket that held your garments.
“You would not believe what happened.” You sighed in utter distress before plopping yourself down besides Halsin and Astarion on the log to let the fire embrace you with warmth, piquing everyone’s interest and attention with intense ease. “A wandering owlbear ate my clothes.”
They all collectively either guffawed or choked on their spit, Lae’zel scoffing and Astarion groaning amongst them. Right. Of course, you would have thought it was a fucking owlbear. Thieving owlbears that take normal, musky clothes instead of shiny armor.
“Ah, owlbears.” Gale tutted and sighed with faux sympathy, nervously chuckling and shifting to hide the lump in his pockets. “They’d eat almost anything, really.”
Astarion shot him a bewildered look, as if to ask, don’t you? You swallowed two of my books last night!
“You can borrow my clothes, for the night.” Shadowheart butted in, suddenly slotting herself behind you and setting a reassuring palm on your shoulder. You smiled at her, gazing up at her gratefully. “Thank you, Sha—”
“Well, you can have my clothes!” Karlach and Lae’zel shot up in unison.
“Sharing your old filth, I can sew them new clothes!” Astarion argued, until everyone started refuting eachother and proposing that you take theirs and whatnot.
You sighed with exasperated fondness, immensely troubled but somewhat used to it as you watch your companions pointlessly banter, having little doubt that by the end of the night, you’d have a fair share of everyone’s wardrobe into yours.
Still, you hope to the very bottom of your heart that the “owlbear” that stole your clothes had a full tummy, at least.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 x reader#baldur's gate 3 x reader#astarion x reader#wyll x reader#shadowheart x reader#karlach x reader#lae'zel x reader#gale x reader#halsin x reader#tavrem#as they say#this was fun to write#this was very lame actually#sorry but its been so so so long since ive written a fic much less published it
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Here is another portion of that goofy victorian interaction
Can you tell im really enjoying their nose dynamic(💞)
Tbh the Legend of Baskerville theme from this series is a total banger, and considered a love theme (by me). Go listen to it on youtube now!(minute 25:55)
Having a lot of thoughts on the Baskerville episodes from this series being the most mysterious and entertaining (to me), especially as a kid, due to the soundtracks, almost complete absence of Sherlock, sudden change of setting to the countryside, etc., etc.
The last time i rewatched it though, they just appeared to me too long, but its probably because i was busy drawing throughout the sequence. I have to re-check sometime soon.
#victorian dads wow#shoulder massage is the realest love language i dont make the rules#sherlock holmes#soviet sherlock holmes#sherlock holmes x doctor watson#doctor watson#vasily livanov sherlock#vitaliy solomin#johnlock#vasiliy livanov#fanart#drawing#sketch#doodle#art#old victorian couple#long live#as they say#the gays#bro i completely fucked up that hats anatomy lmaoo#kinda deserves it tbh bc wtf is this#YO I PAINTED OVER#I JUST NOTICING THE FLAWS#FUCK AHHASHAH#but thats olright#innit
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got that dawg in me
#woof woof#as they say#hs#homestuck#jade harley#jade homestuck#homestuck fanart#my art#this background is a clusterfuck of many different images
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and she’s haunted by a manifestation of her struggle to conform to the expected ideals of femininity which she continuously tries and fails to escape,,,,,,, which could mean nothing
#Trudy trout was kissing women on that race track#As they say#good luck babe#dndads#the peachyville horror#dungeons and daddies#trudy trout
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them :3
#welcome home#welcome home arg#welcomeh#barnaby b. beagle#wally darling#besties <3#as they say#i think?
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mating slugs • 09/24/23
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12/22/2023
Pictures from a few weeks ago when I drove up to campus and spent the afternoon walking around the little town nearby.
Currently cramming all of my assignments for my online class (3/4 of which are overdue) and constantly feeling exhausted, out of sorts, and unable to get myself together. 🙃
#emgoesmed#studyblr#studyspo#med student#med school#med studyblr#ms4#interview season#15 down 3 to go#productivity#coffee#cafe#i am so tired#the vibes continue to deteriorate#as they say
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Been obsessed with the man right here
#that’s not my neighbor#francis mosses#milkman#as they say#save a cow milk the milkman#would#on my knees#would let him in
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guys.. i'm facing a problem.. that is i cannot reply to everyone.. too many replies 😭😭 BUT KNOW U R NOT BEING IGNORED! i am reading it. i haven't stopped smiling since yesterday and a very big giant thank you to all
🫶🫶🌹🫶🌹❤️🌹🫶🌹❤️🫶❤️🌹
#all i want is for tlt to be talked about and fresh in the mind til alecto drops#part of why im doing this#i give af so much#but i love it#and i love interacting with ppl#I LOVE DRAWING#a good problem to have#as they say#but i feel bad likee please know i am not ignoring you#and the time you took to leave me something nice
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Small jebil GIF
#i made this instead of paying attention#im COOKED#as they say#lobotomysbugaloogaart#jevil deltarune#might color this but i wont count on it
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I sometimes wonder if Wally has a drivers license...
#needle'sart#welcome home#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#welcome home barnaby#welcome home eddie#welcome home frank#This took me so long to draw... I was so sad :(#I regret having abandoned this account for so long#no estaba muerta#estaba de parranda#as they say
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it’s moving day. screams.
#two hands. no car. an apartment of boxes and furniture.#i’m glad i found someone local to help. it’s going to be hard but not as hard as doing this completely alone#so… ultimately four hands and a uhaul i’m terrified to drive#DO IT SCARED BUT DO IT#as they say#gyro.txt
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I’ve seen a few people asking why Thrawn would attack the New Republic – shouldn’t he join them and fix the system from the inside, or just go back to the Ascendancy? Why would he destabilize the galaxy further?
But if you think about it
Really, the only reason Thrawn needs is to believe that the New Republic is a threat to the galaxy. Which, well...
Thrawn joined the Empire to oppose the Grysk, because Thrawn believes in a strong military. Thrawn’s not good at politics, and deals with everything in military terms – remember the Lioaoin's economic issues? That’s why he got along with the Empire, and why he put up with all their crap. In Thrawn’s head, big military = big victory = stop bad guys = good.
Enter the New Republic.
What are they doing? Disarming. While there are still pirates, the Hutts, Imperial Remnants, and, of course, the Grysk nipping at their heels. In the midst of a tumultuous time, they are deliberately weakening their ability to meet the challenges ahead, and opening the galaxy to invasion. Says Thrawn.
It doesn’t even matter if they’re Grysk influenced or just stupid – it’s the same result. The galaxy loses. His people lose. Says Thrawn.
What do you expect him to do? Join them? Of course not – he at least knows he’s terrible at politics. And the New Republic is all politics – it would put him at a disadvantage, in a fight he cannot afford to lose. And it would open him to attacks on fronts where he has no power: trials for war crimes, possibly leading to execution – or worse. The Mind Flayer.
You think Thrawn would risk his mind?
Besides, better to ask forgiveness than permission, as they say.
And if you want something done right, do it yourself.
Conquering the New Republic would be better for everyone, Thrawn says. It would save the galaxy from annihilation, allow him to turn the resources of the Empire against evil, bring peace and order to the galaxy and beyond. He would keep all the good of the Empire, Thrawn says, while getting rid of all of the bad, Thrawn says – whatever that means to him.
For the greater good, Thrawn says.
Everything he’s done has always been for the greater good, Thrawn says.
The tragedy is that he believes it.
#as they say#the road to hell is paved with good intentions#long post#star wars#thrawn#mitth'raw'nuruodo#the new republic#just some thoughts#things bouncing around my head#as i watch the new show#and hear people talking about it#good intentions don't excuse his actions#he means well#but he's caused harm#and will cause harm#because the harm he's causing#is a lower priority for him#than his own goals#“acceptable losses”#acceptable for who?#greater good for who?#well#that's the sticky part#morally grey characters everyone#grand admiral thrawn#my thoughts#ahsoka show#star wars: rebels#grysk#chiss ascendancy
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Women's rights?
womens rights
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so so grateful for my friends and all the gay people in my phone. happy holidays guys ❤️
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