#I simply ignore

[starswirly]

[ * whenever I see a post or blog I dislike I’m just going to imagine them as a squeaky toy being absolutely destroyed by my chihuahua. the annoying squeaking is the posts n stuff I dislike. the dog is me mentally blowing them up ]

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike is suspicious of Lefty…

[gingermaple]

"it's showtime!"

[rapidhighway]

his favorite clothes!!!

[vaxxman]

Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

demanding a series in the same vein (heh, vein) as Dexter/Hannibal wherein a prolific serial killer plays cat & mouse with the police--except the serial killer in question is a preteen schoolgirl. this would make for compelling television due to the fact that middle school frequently causes girls to become deranged, and more media should reflect this

[badjura]

[whispersfromaeons]

SNEAKY | a poly! wade wilson x reader x logan howlett fic.

synopsis - the consequences of sending a nude to your boyfriends.

tw - nsfw, afab reader, she/her pronouns and fem terms used for reader, threesome, double blowjob, fingering, anal, p in v, unsafe sex / no condom used, you take them both at the same time, pre-established relationship. wc 2.2k.

Dating both Wade and Logan naturally led you to do some rather bold actions that you otherwise would probably not have done in the first place. Just their little effect on you, one could say.

It was so lonely, so utterly quiet in the bedroom you shared with them. In your defense, you couldn’t really help it. Blame it on the fact that you were ovulating, and that their constant absence from the house due to their ongoing tasks did naught but rile you up. It made you feel a little guilty, deep within somewhere, for not being patient enough for them.

But hey, a small surprise wouldn’t really hurt, yeah?

That’s how you found yourself in front of the mirror, contemplating over your actions while your fingers tugged your shirt upwards, revealing your tits, nipples clearly hard. With only half of your face visible in the camera — thank the lords, you didn’t want them to see how flushed you were — you snapped a picture, pausing for a good second. Did you really just do that? Yes.

Opening the groupchat you had with your boyfriends, you attached this picture alongside a sweet text: Miss you ♡.

-

It was almost embarrassing how fast Wade and Logan had arrived at the house after that, taking only about an hour or two. You were concerned that they had ditched their mission, though instead of listening to your questions, they simply grabbed a hold of you.

“Such a naughty fuckin’ girl. Temptin’ us while we’re doin’ important things, hm?” Logan was the first one to grab your waist by his calloused hands, a stern look flashing in his eyes that perfectly blended in with the visible arousal. You were sure that if you were to look down, you would see a clear imprint of his erection, though you simply felt frozen, too captivated by his eyes.

“Mhm, couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw your text, baby. S’not good for me to get hard in the middle of a fight, y’know. Had to finish the bad guys quickly just for ya.” Wade’s voice rang behind you, feeling his body pressing against your back, clothed bulge nuzzling against your ass. Though you couldn’t see his face due to facing Logan, you knew that he was probably sending mischievous gazes to the other man, both having formed a plan you were unbeknownst of.

Though none of them looked to be bleeding, there was a significant strong scent of their musk that made your head a bit dizzy. It made you want to nuzzle your face in between their arms and just relax there, though you didn’t open your mouth, too busy squirming in between their bodies that were now both at your front and back, sandwiching you.

“I just… missed you both a lot.” The pout on your lips made Wade coo in adoration, quick to lift his mask off so he could press soft kisses against your cheek, scarred lips caressing your lips. Logan on the other head was too stubborn to show any affection, his grip on your waist instead tightening up.

“Don’t think we’re goin’ to let you off the hook so easily, bub.” Grunting, Logan pulled you away from Wade and proceeded to push you down on the bed, making you clumsily land on your ass. Somehow, it made you feel accomplished due to the way you had managed to rile him up so much. His sternness did nothing but make you all the more wet, hearing your heartbeat drumming in your ears.

Both men shared a quick look before unbuckling their pants simultaneously. Wade took his entire spandex bodysuit off, keen on flaunting his scarred muscular physique, whereas Logan kept his top on, getting rid of his pants alongside his undies. The sight of their cocks hanging, fully hard and all because of you, made you flush vibrantly. Any attempt to look away went to vain since Wade was quickly to grip your jaw, tutting. “Nah, nah, nah! You’re gonna suck off Wolvie and I together. You can, can’t you?” With that teasing grin on his face, all you wanted to do was punch him out of pure shyness at the moment.

After a few seconds, you nodded, eyes focusing onto the two cocks in front of you. Alas, as you expected, it was hard to keep a straight mind — not when their beefy thighs were literally on your face, the scent of their cocks thick yet not entirely unpleasant. Leaning in, both of your hands reached to grab the bases of their cock, Logan’s slightly thicker than Wade’s, pressing the tips together, your warm mouth soon gently licking them. The salty taste of precum was quick to flood your mouth, a clear sign of the condition your single picture left them in. Your heart jumped at the thought, unable to suppress a smile.

Your licks soon grew into more confident long stripes, occasionally taking in Logan’s tip in your mouth before moving to Wade, drool sliding down your chin. You could hear their soft pants and grunts from above, Logan’s fingers tangled into your hair tightly while Wade’s hand rested against the side of your face. Your lips and lower chin were so wet, smeared with drool and their precum, though you continued, both hands steadily rubbing their lengths. “Pretty girl… All messy just for us.” Logan huffed from above, trying to shove his cock fully into your mouth. Though you could not fit both of them at the same time, you attempted to pay full attention to both of them.

It wasn’t long until their orgasms washed over them, Wade cumming a few seconds before Logan, a delirious moan leaving his lips as he spurted thick strings of cum on your face, followed by Logan who came all over your chest, dirtying your shirt. You couldn’t even complain, too dedicated to licking their tips clean, a soft whimper unknowingly leaving your lips at the salty taste of their cum.

“Ah, she cleans us so well, doesn’t she?” Wade snickered at Logan, reaching for the other man to pull him into a brief kiss that lasted a few seconds before they went back to pay attention to you. Logan soon took off what was left on him, his perfectly sculpted torso alongside the hair that adorned his skin making both you and Wade gape in awe. It didn’t matter how many times you both had seen Logan shirtless, he managed to look better every time.

“C’mon, lay down.” Logan gestured, and all you could do was obediently nod, wiping your face with your shirt, too aroused to care about not being properly clean. They weren’t either, really, since they had just come from outside. All three of you soon got on the bed, your body laying down while Wade got in between your legs. Soon you felt Logan scooping you up from behind, nestling you perfectly behind his widespread legs, feeling his still rock hard erection pressed against your lower back.

Wade begins to strip your clothes off you, smiling in triumph once you were all naked, simply perfect for them. Scarred hands gently guided your legs open, a theatrical gasp leaving his mouth. “Look how wet she is!” He gleed, clearly talking to your pussy instead of you, his rough fingers lightly caressing the wet folds up and down, your body squirming against Logan at the sudden touch while you were sensitive. You could feel the other man’s chest pressed against your chest, the warm and the gentle beats of his heart comforting, though you couldn’t properly focus on it due to the way Wade’s fingers smeared your own juices over your clit, rubbing on it slowly until it was swollen.

“Wade, hurts…” You couldn’t help but whine, feet kicking a bit. Goodness, you needed him. You needed them both, needed them inside of you until you were all exhausted from cumming, all safe in their arms.

Wade couldn’t help but groan at the sounds you were making alongside the soft wet noises your pussy was making at being rubbed. You could feel Logan shifting behind you, his hand reaching at the right side to grab a bottle of lube from the nightstand’s drawer, putting some of it on his fingers. “Lean forward, bub.” He grunted, making you lean forward against Wade while his hands spread your soft asscheeks apart, sighing in contentment once his eyes laid upon your tight asshole, just waiting to be filled.

Carefully, his lubed up finger slid inside your tight hole, waiting for you to adjust to the size as you moaned and clenched at the intrusion, hiding your face against Wade’s neck. Logan gently moved his finger inside your tight hole before adding another, making sure to scissor them inside, spreading your walls apart. It felt so big, and albeit having done this before, you were still always caught off guard by their sizes.

“Y-You can put it in now…” Your words came out as a stutter, clearly too needy to be filled properly, tilting your head back to look at Logan. Sweat was forming on his forehead, the sheer heat within the bedroom too intense. With the way Wade had rubbed you earlier yet not made you cum, purposely for that fact, you knew that you wouldn’t last long at all.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.” Pressing a soft quick kiss on your lips, Logan once again shifted to let you rest you back against his chest, while Wade went in between your spread legs and grabbed the base of his cock, gently rubbing it against your wet cunt. After a few little teasing pats of his cock against you, he slowly slid the tip inside your wetness, feeling the warm walls quickly engulf him in. “Fuck, always suckin’ me in.” He chuckled, hands grabbing onto your hips, one hand reaching to slowly caress your clit once more. Your body writhed at the stretch, his scarred cock deliciously stretching you out.

“Time for me to go in too, eh?” Logan gently nipped on your earlobe, earning an eager nod from you as you felt the tip of his cock brush against your tight hole. Gently, oh so gently, he pushed his girth in, earning a loud mewl from you, your hands instantly clasping into Wade’s shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin. Words couldn’t describe how full you felt once both of them had fully settled in, both of your holes stretched wide. For a moment, your frenzied mind was unable to comprehend the blend of pain and pleasure, making you feel as if you could explode.

Logan’s arms tightly wrapped around your waist, accommodating you as he began to thrust upwards, drilling his cock into your tight ass, his precum alongst the lube making it easier to slide in and out. Wade followed, his cock kissing every pleasurable spot inside your spongy walls, matching your boyfriend’s pace — a steady rhythm and gentle rhythm.

“Hey, keep makin’ those noises.” One hand of Logan’s reached up to lightly squeeze your breast, thumb flicking your hardened nipple. You cried out in pleasure, shaking with each thrust your body met. The three of you were simply so flushed and sweaty, the scent of sex thick in the air. Logan was grunting right into your ear, his voice quieter in comparison to Wade who was moaning freely while fucking your cunt, his grip on your thigh firm, his fingers rubbing your twitching clit at the same pace as before.

“Close?” Wade asked once he felt you clench tightly around him, earning a slow nod from you, your moans growing louder until you felt your stomach uncoiling, pleasure bursting within as you came hard on his cock, body convulsing though Logan’s strong grip didn’t allow you to move much except your legs that were stiffening and tightening around Wade. “F-Feels good, so good!” You spoke in broken, incomprehensible babbles, eyes closed shut and full of tears.

You could feel their thrusts growing uncoordinated and more frantic, both now chasing their own orgasms. Logan’s cock twitched inside your tight hole before he came once again, thick cum soon filling your ass up. “I-In me…!” You moaned at Wade, who obediently followed, breathing heavily as his orgasm hit him, cumming right inside your warm cunt, cock happily nestled inside.

Your body went limp against Logan as Wade collapsed onto you, your arms still wrapped around the scarred man as you tried to catch your breath, your legs trembling profusely, feeling your skin still tingle. “Quite a toll your lil’ nude took on us, pretty.” Logan chuckled from behind, his hand coming up to tenderly caress your head, allowing you to nuzzle onto his palm.

Wade’s head shot up to look at Logan, a wide smirk blooming on his scarred lips. “My turn now.”

It was going to be a long night.

[pbnmj]

noir fanartists deliberately ignoring how he doesn't need glasses anymore is so funny to me. i hope we all think he's blind as a bat

[starmergeddon]

"🤓👆erm, actually, that is NOT funny..."

[offkilterkeys]

The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.

[ricky-mortis]

Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU

[goosewizard]

i know coming back right is kinda a silly idea but im thinking about it.

what if ranboo came back, and they came back right?

not physically, of course. god, he looks a decade older and has the exhaustion to match. their skin is marred, mostly scar tissue now, from the explosion, from sam, from the endless ocean of limbo, from crying. tubbo hates that they match now. he’s skinnier, too, as if death took everything but the skin and bones of him. they look more monstrous. theres a new streak of white in his hair. it reminds tubbo of wilbur. it reminds tommy of himself.

but he’s just as kind, he still holds their son with tenderness and sings songs of old to him. he still brushes tubbos hair away with a feather-light touch. they still help techno with the dogs. he still visits tommy. they still grow pink tulips.

their memory is... better. ranboo still loses his house keys and forgets where he was going or what they ate for lunch, but they have every scar on tommy memorized, he knows tubbo like the back of their hand, can recite historical events like a textbook, will never lose track of an important date again.

its all they had in limbo. he didnt want to forget for good.

he's still scared, if they're being honest. scared that their sacrifice was for nothing. scared that his family will be destroyed again and again for the sick pleasure of some fucking guy. scared that he'll be used again. scared that they'll hurt the people they care about again. but for now they're okay, they have a team and a family and a second chance.

ranboo comes back and theyre okay, honestly. they move into the mansion with his husband and child. he thanks techno again and again for saving his son. for saving him. techno doesnt accept the thanks, he should've done more. he talks with tommy about limbo, and about grief. they visit their own graves and they grieve. for one another, for themselves. it washes over them in waves. tubbo still waits for the other shoe to drop, for his husband or himself to turn into a maniac and blow the server to bits, but it doesnt come. it won't come. its not the same, it cant be, but its good for the first time in a long time.

maybe the other shoe doesn’t have to drop. maybe sometimes people can come back and maybe they can be okay.

[tea-earl-grey]

Star Trek Voyager & Hugs

suggested by @mephistopheles

[giddlygoat]

mario + peach is such a good ship istg they’re so good. straight ship so good it feels gay

[art-is-kayos]

Dantlings

Bonus charon: