#I should say kill executives and shit but nah

[dappercritter]

Really love how corporations all decided that the animation community was the next community to persecute.

Thanks for nothing ya’ capitalist pigs! :D

[ohtobeleah]

I’d kill for a part two of that strictly scandalous concept where Hangman fucks Mavericks daughter. Just him realizing what he’s done.

HAHAHAHA. I loved this one. Here ya go. Just because I felt this on my bones, baby. and I know I've used the callsign Iris for a blurb once but imma use it again because it suits and I like it. :)

********************

Jakes shitting himself. Imagine it though— he’s in the locker room, zipping up his flight suit when Pete Mitchell slaps his hand down on Jake’s shoulder from behind. It scares the living shit out of him when he realises just who it is standing behind him. 

“You have a good weekend Hangman—?” Mav asked as Jake turned to face him, eyes wide like he’s just been caught red handed and balls deep him Mavericks daughter. 

“Huh?” Jakes trying to formulate a sentence to reply with, but he’s breaking out in a sweat, remembering just how fucked he knew he was when you introduced yourself a Lieutenant Mitchell. Pete Maverick Mitchell’s daughter. “Uh, sorry repeat the question sir?” 

“I asked if you had a good weekend?” Pete always thought Jake was a little weird, a little overzealous and egotistical—but right this minute he could be considered a flight risk. With sweat practically dripping down his face and he looks over Pete’s shoulder to see his saving grace. Rooster. 

“Yeah, yeah nah it was average—“ If you’d call fucking his captains daughter in the back of his truck average. That was a felony around here, a career ender, an act worthy of being lined up and executed point blank. “Listen, great chatting to you, But I gotta go—“ Mav doesn’t get a chance to even register what’s going on before Jake is hightailing it over towards Bradley, dragging him around the corner of the locker room with a clenched jaw and panicked eyes. 

“Dude! What’s your problem!” Bradley’s hissing at Jake’s grip on his bicep. Being pulled away into a more discreet part of the men’s locker room. 

“I’m gonna lose my fucking job—“ Bradley Bradshaw has never seen Jake Seresin so panicked before. He’s usually in control of every situation, every aspect of his life. But this? Whatever had him spooked must have been major because Bradley could see straight into Jake's soul, and he was terrified. 

“What exactly did you do?” 

“Not a what.” Jake groaned, smashing his fist against Fanboys stupid Star Wars themes locker or whatever the hell TV show he geeked over. “More like a who—“ Bradley’s not computing what Jake is trying to tell him. Watching as Jake turns, presses his back against the lockers, and slides towards the ground in complete and utter defeat. He can kiss this promotion goodbye and he hasn’t even made it through a full day. 

“Can you be a little more specific? It’s too early to be deciphering codes.” Rooster just stands there, arms crossed as Jake lets his head rest against the flimsy doors of the lockers he’s resting up against—legs spread out. 

“IfuckedMavsdaughter—“ Jake mumbles quickly and under his breath. Bradley only just makes out what he said as his eyes are blowing out of his head in pure shock. No, no this is too perfect. 

“I’m sorry you did who?” Rooster needs to hear Jake say it clearly and as precisely as possible. “You did not!” 

“I didn’t know she was Mavs daughter Rooster! You didn’t fucking tell me who she was!” Jake was right on that front, but Bradley wasn’t in the loop, when did spilling three entire schooners of alcohol on someone equates to fucking someone. “God! Do you know what he’s gonna do to me when he finds out? He’s gonna make my life a living hell!” Jake groans as he hits the back of his head against the locker in an act of self-pity.

“You fucked Y/n Iris Mitchell, he’s gonna hang you, Hangman.” Bradley loved this probably a little more than he should have. He knew his uncle all too well and he knew how protective he was of the daughter he didn’t know he had until you showed up at his doorstep one random Saturday afternoon. “He’s gonna string you up by your big toe on the flagpole—“ 

“I should just quiet before he has a chance to—“ Jakes squinting his eyes shut tight, all he can see is you riding him like you had nothing to lose in the back of his truck. He can feel your around him still, the tightest pussy he’s ever fucked. So warm and perfect and—young. Fuck, he should have know this would have eventually. “I’m a deadman walking.”

“Does she know who you are?” Bradley’s asking as he finally takes a knee and comes to sit against the lockers with his clearly distressed wingman. “Did you tell her you’re most likely her instructor? Her Lieutenant Commander?” 

“Nope—“ Jake pops the P. “I was just gonna see how long I could go without running into her, avoid her at all costs.” 

“Yeah something tells me that’s not gonna work.” Bradley chuckles, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. “But good luck man, honestly I’m rooting for you.” Rooster bumps his shoulder against Jakes as he stands. Looking down at the aviator having a clear existential crisis. “Stop sticking your dick into anything that moves at the Hard Deck—I’m honestly shocked something like this hasn’t happened sooner.” 

“Can you just promise me that if I go missing you’ll tell the cops it was Mav?” Jake is as serious as he ever has been as he looks up at Rooster. “This is partly your fault to you big flightless bird—if I had been told, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her!” But all Bradley can do is laugh at Jake’s predicament. 

“Sure thing pal, but she told you, you could have stopped and dealt with the blue balls—but I’m guessing the night didn’t end in the truck and you're big enough and ugly enough to deal with the consequences of your own actions.” Bradley feels like this whole situation is an early birth present. He’s beaming, smug even. Of course Jake fucked Mavs daughter, of course he did!  “I’ll see you out there.” 

“You're a bad friend!” Jakes Shouting out as Bradley rounds the corner, he’s laughing as he shakes his head and exits the locker room only to run into you in the hall. Seeing an opportunity he just can’t resist passing up. 

“Iris!” Bradley cooed, grabbing your attention as he jogs up beside you from behind, slinging a shoulder around you. “How’s induction day going so far?” 

“I just came out of a lecture about weapons systems malfunctions with Lieutenant Commander Floyd.” You explained, pretty tickled pink with excitement that you were at TopGun. Not a lot of women got to experience such a feat. “He’s pretty intelligent.” 

“Bobs great—“ Bradley had known you since you were about sixteen, but you weren’t all that close for two people who’d be considered non-biological siblings. “Hey listen, I heard you left the Hard Deck with Hangman the other night.” 

“Who’s Hangman?” You asked as you stopped in your tracks. “And how do you know I left with som—“ All things considered, when Jake had told you that if Hawaiian shirts were what you were into, you should be talking to Bradley, you could have said that you saw him more like a brother than anything else. But you didn’t, you played along and said that guys with moustaches weren't your type. “Oh—no please Rooster I didn’t.” Bradley could see the look of realisation creeping across your face. You’d fucked one of your TopGun instructors, hadn't you? “No—please it’s April fools isn’t it?” 

“It’s October Iris—“ Bradley smirked, his moustache working to devour his upper lip entirely as he does. “Mavs gonna kill him—“ 

“Fuck what Mavs gonna do to him Bradshaw! I’m gonna get kicked out of Miramar if the admirals find out what I’ve done!” You're a mess, Bradley chuckles, hey maybe you and Jake had a few things in common. Your inability to cope during existential crises being one of them. “This ain’t happening! I need to talk to him, where is he?”

“He’s probably still writing his resignation on the locker room flo—“ Before Bradley can finish your sentence, he’s watching as you make a b-line directly for the locker room he’d just come out of. 

On the hunt for Lieutenant Commander Jake ‘Deadman’  Seresin.

[captainsophiestark]

Winglets

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Top Gun

Day Twenty-Three Prompt: "We can fix this, I know we can."

Summary: Rooster and his SO are housesitting for Penny while she, Mav, and Amelia are on vacation. A relaxing staycation turns into a schoolwork refresher course when they get a little carried away.

Word Count: 1,578

Category: Fluff, Humor, maybe a little bit of Angst?

A/N: Happy Halloween!!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Oh... Bradley."

Bradly hummed, his face buried in my neck and his arms wrapped tight around my waist. I ran my hands through his hair, tipping my head back further to give him better access.

"Are you still upset that Mav left you home?" I teased, running my hands across his shoulders. Bradley huffed a laugh.

"Nah. I'll trade an extended family vacation for this."

I grinned, then let out a little shriek as Bradley wrapped his arms around my thighs and hoisted me up, moving back towards the counter by the wall. My back hit something, hard, and I didn't think much of it until I heard a concerningly loud crash a moment later.

Bradley and I both froze on the spot. Slowly, without moving any more than we had to, Bradley and I pulled back enough to look at each other. His expression of terror exactly matched the feeling in my chest.

The two of us were having a little couples staycation while housesitting for Mav, Penny, and Amelia. The three of them were going on their first ever vacation as a family, and they'd asked Bradley and I to stay over at their place while they were gone. It'd been a nice break from base housing, and we'd been enjoying some uniterrupted alone time. But whatever that crash had been, it didn't sound good.

My eyes didn't leave Bradley's as he glanced over my shoulder. He paled and swore, and that was enough to get me in motion.

I pushed us both away from the counter, then whirled out of Bradley's arms to see how bad it was for myself. My heart dropped.

Amelia's science fair project, which had been sitting on the counter until a few moments ago, now lay shattered on the floor.

"Holy shit," I breathed, just staring in horror for a moment before finally whirling back to Bradley. "Holy shit! What did we just do?"

He shook his head, grave and still way more pale than normal.

"Amelia's going to kill us. And then Mav's going to kill us. And then Penny."

"We're the worst," I said, turning back to the project and shaking my head. My stomach was still down by my feet, a claw of guilt wrapped tight around my chest. "How did we not notice that? Dammit, out of every single countertop in this house, how did we manage to pick this one?"

I heard Bradley take a deep breath from behind me, and then his arm wrapped around my shoulder. I was ready to shake him off—neither of us should be getting comfort right now—but he spoke before I could say as much.

"Alright, this is bad. But it doesn't have to stay that way. We just have to keep a clear head and be smart."

"Baby, I think we're already past the point where being smart could've saved us."

"Not quite."

His hand dropped from around my shoulders, and he moved to crouch next to the broken science project. He picked up a few of the bigger pieces, turning them over in his hands, and then surveyed the poster board that went with it. That, at least, looked mostly still intact.

"We can fix this," he finally said, turning back to me, "I know we can."

"Bradley, it is shattered-"

"It's an airplane aerodynamics project with an arts and crafts execution. I'm a Navy pilot and I've seen you build an F1 car model without the instruction manual. This is exactly our experise."

I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to get a little space from the guilt and panic to think clearly. Bradley was right; the only chance we had to keep this from being a complete and total disaster was to stay calm and be smart. I took a few deep breaths, and when I opened my eyes again, the panic had been mostly replaced by a steely determination.

"Alright. Alright, you make a good point. Let's give it a try."

"Great! Come help me pick up all these pieces, we can set up on the kitchen table. We've still got a day before they get home."

"It took Amelia like two weeks to put this thing together."

"Yeah, but we're not starting from scratch. Come on, positive thoughts."

*****************

The next several hours were chaos. Bradley and I managed to get all the pieces of Amelia's model airplane wings picked up off the floor, but hardly any of it was salvageable. We set everything on the counter, grabbed some pens and paper, and started planning out the best reconstruciton we could get. Luckily, Bradley had to know quite a bit about aerodynamics as a pilot. With the two of us working together and reading off of Amelia's notes, we managed to come up with a plan for putting things back together exactly as they had been.

Putting that plan into motion was where the real chaos came in.

After a quick run to buy supplies, Bradley and I had turned the kitchen counter into a mad scientist's workstation, with bits and pieces of our project laid out everywhere. I worked carefully to put the airplane wings back together while Bradley directed my placement of the arrows and squiggly plastic pieces denoting airflow, pressure, lift, and everything else Amelia needed to cover in her project.

"Okay, those small spirals go on the wing without the winglets."

"Are they seriously called winglets?" I asked, not glancing up from the project in my hands as I worked.

"Yes. Do you want help?"

"Yeah, hold the wing while I take the glue and our little plastic spiral."

Bradley stepped closer, his hands remarkable steady as I went to work. The spirals were supposed to show the air vortices that formed around the wing tip, and how they impacted lift when the little winglets weren't there to slow down their path. The whole time we'd been working on this project, I'd been impressed. Amelia knew a lot, and she'd found some pretty cool ways to show it.

"Alright, just hold that together for a few minutes," I said, leaning away and setting the hot glue gun down once I was done. Bradley did as I said, resting his forearms on the counter and settling in. I surveyed the rest of the countertop. "We're pretty close to done now, aren't we?"

Bradley looked around too, and I could see him going through his own mental checklist. We'd started this little project just after dinner, and now, we were into the early hours of the next morning with no sleep. It was good for both of us to be double-checking each other.

"I think so," he finally said with a nod. "Although we still have to figure out how to replace the couple of things that got messed up on her trifold."

I waved him off. "Easy. All we have to do is retype it on a laptop, print it out, and stick it back where it belongs."

Bradley nodded again, and I put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before standing from the kitchen stool.

"I'll go knock it out while you supervise the last of our gluing. We're in the home stretch."

He shot me a tired smile, and I headed to the living room to quickly replace the missing pieces of the trifold. Thankfully, we didn't run into any new complications as we put everything back into its final place. The sun was just starting to come up outside, but when Bradley and I stepped back from the counter, his arm around my shoulders as we admired our work, it looked perfect.

"I can't believe we actually managed to pull that off," I said, huffing a laugh and shaking my head. Bradley squeezed my shoulders, and when I glanced at him, I found him grinning at me.

"I can. We did a great job."

I smiled. "Yeah. Crazy, but we do really make a good team."

He leaned down to place a soft, sweet kiss on my lips. Then, instead of pulling back, he stayed close enough to speak lowly in my ear.

"You know, that was a pretty outstanding parenting move if you ask me. Maybe it's time we-"

"HELL no, Bradshaw," I said, taking a step back with a gentle push on Bradley's chest. "And that's both to having kids right now, and to doing anything more than soft pecks with our hands mostly to ourselves until we get the hell out of this house. We don't have time to fix this whole thing again."

Bradley laughed, pulling me back into his side, and the sound warmed my chest.

"Alright, alright, message recieved. It might be a good idea to wait and see if Amelia notices anything before we celebrate, anyway."

"Welp, we're not gonna have to wait long for that one. Come on, let's go get some sleep before she, Penny, and Mav get home. I'm so tired that if she even glances at me after seeing the project I'll probably crack."

Bradley laughed again as the two of us headed off to the spare bedroom, arms around each other. I'd won the lottery when I'd found him, my perfect wingman in every aspect of life, and I knew he felt the same about me. From science fair projects to beef with coworkers to big life emergencies, there was no one I'd rather have on my side than him.

Even though that love and affection had been the thing to get us in trouble in the first place tonight.

*****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

Top Gun Taglist: @elenavampire21

[gh0stface-k1sser]

Rae Transcript :3!!!

(Ft him being a faggot for Johnny) (his ability is Mimic. He can mimic voices of victims (current or past) to lure others towards him, or one of the other family members. Although the ability itself does no damage)

Feeding Grandpa

-“Everyone else says it was a hell of a lot easier with you up ‘nd able so..”

-“We don’t got all day, eat up.” -“Eat up so we can catch these assholes.” -(sigh) “we’re gettin it under control”

-“It’d be a whole lot easier if you could actually fuckin help.”

Victim Found (in hiding spot)

-“What’re you hidin’ for?”

-“It’s kinda rude to go around peoples property ‘n hide from em y’know.”

-“Get yer ass out here”

-“Picked a shit hidin’ spot, sugar.”

-“Found ya” (laughs)

-“Y’all should really find better hidin’ spots”

Victim Hit

-“Quit runnin’, you ain’t gon’ make it much further”

-“Awh, that hurt?” (Laughs)

-“Hold still! I’ll get it over quick, promise.”

-“All that screamin’ ain’t gonna save you.”

-“Why don’t you just give up?”

Blood Trail

-“You left a trail, y’know…”

-“Yer makin’ this awfully easy to find you”

-“Les’ got to clean this up.”

-“Aw, don’t bleed out everywhere. It ain’t no fun if you die before I get to ya”

Match Start

-“Y’all’s heads are gonna be rollin’ soon enough..”

-“Didn’t know we had visitors.”

-“Don’t worry, I’ll put y’all to good use.”

Victim seen escaping

-“Shit..they won’t believe em…”

-“Ain’t worth chasin’ em down, probably won’t make it far anyway.”

-(annoyed groan)

-“Goddamnit. The others really gotta start helpin, I can’t stop all of em on my own.”

-“Slick bastards…”

Idle

-"That girl wasn't even pretty, I dunno why the hell Johnny liked her so much...glad he fuckin' killed her"

-"The hells this draggin' on for?"

-"Doin' everything round here I swear.."

-"Awfully rude to keep hidin' from me y'know.."

Victim Seen

-"Come back here, sugar"

-"Where the hell you think yer goin'?"

-"It don't have to be this way y'know..."

-"I'll take it easy on ya."

-"Honestly, all this runnin' around is kinda pathetic."

Ability Denied

-"Ain't none of em nearby.."

-"None of em can hear me from here."

-"Nah, won't work here."

-"I should wait until they get closer..."

Close encounter

-"Oh? This ain't gonna end well for you."

-"Go on, hit me."

-"That's it! Fight back! It ain't no fun if y'all just let us kill you."

Execution

-"This woulda been easier if y'all just quit runnin'"

-"See? There was no damn point in allat."

-"Don't worry, I'll make sure to put ya to good use."

Drayton/The Cook seen

-"Quit hollerin' at me old man."

-"It'd be a hell of a lot easier for you to hear em if you'd shut the fuck up."

-"Watch it, I'll rip yer fuckin' tongue out myself."

-"Put those damn locks to use"

-"I'd rather be dead than actually be related to you, so quit talkin' like it actually matters that I ain't."

Nubbins/Hitchhiker Seen

-"Keep that damn roadkill away from me."

-"Hurry up 'n place them traps, they ain't doin no good if you don't."

-"You sure as hell ain't the best...don't care what that prehistoric ass says."

-"If you gonna talk about me, speak up. Yer mutterin' is annoying."

-"How the hell you make them traps of yers anyway?"

Johnny seen

-"Don't worry Hun, we'll catch em."

-(whistles)

-"You find any of em yet?"

-"I'll help you catch em if you want.."

-"I ain't lookin'.."

-"Yer old lady's gettin' on my nerves y'know."

-"Let me know if you need any help Hun"

-"You should quit bringin' them city girls around."

Sissy seen

-"Keep that poison shit away from me, I'll rip yer fuckin' head off if you get it on me."

-"Awfully convenient for you to show up now."

-"I ain't goin in yer stupid fuckin garden."

-"Quit singin' those stupid hippie songs all the time, it's annoying."

-"Don't you dare bring back one of them weirdos with you."

Nancy Seen

-"We're gonna catch em, quit hollerin' at me."

-"Just don't place them traps in my way.."

-"Where the hell you get all that barbed wire anyway?"

-"That's an awfully nasty scar..." (Chuckles)

-"What? Need help or somethin'?"

-"You can quit lookin' at me like I did somethin' wrong..christ."

Bubba Seen

-"Goddamn big boy, yer puttin' that saw to work."

-"Just watch where yer swingin' that thing..."

-"Don't listen to them, they're a bunch of assholes. They're just jealous."

-"Don't worry, I'll help you catch em'"

-"I'll drag one of em to ya so you can gut em, yeah?"

Cook(seeing Rae)

-"Yer makin a damn fool of yerself!"

-"You ain't even a part of this family, quit yer yapping."

-"This is Johnny's fault y'know."

-"You 'n Johnny better quit bringin' back those damn girls."

Hitchhiker(Seeing Rae)

-"Y-you ain't even actually a part of this family.." (snicker)

-"Lookit what I found!"

-"I'm p-placin' my traps, what're you doin'?"

-"You still can't handle eatin' flesh?"

-"Quit h-hollerin' at me."

-"You better watch out! Bubba might give you another one of them scars."

Johnny (seeing Rae)

-"You know all the good hidin' spots, don't ya?" (Chuckle)

-"Quit starin' now ain't the damn time."

-"You didn't seem too fond of that girl..there somethin' you wanna tell me?"

-"C'mon now, lure them out already!"

-"Put that voice of yers to work, yeah?"

Sissy(Seeing Rae)

-"Stay outta my way and you won't get any poison on you."

-"I'd stick around more if yall weren't such assholes..."

-"You still ain't seen the light yet, that's your problem!"

-"Stay out of my garden."

-"Don't start bringin' back those girls like Johnny.. we're in this mess cause of him."

Nancy(seeing Rae)

-"Quit ooglin' Johnny, you ain't slick."

-"Hurry up 'n lure em out!"

-"Why you always out in Johnny's shack for?"

-"Focus! Don't let em get away."

-"It ain't that hard to not get tangled in my traps.."

[ordinaryschmuck]

Quick Thoughts on Echo

I feel like Echo is going to be one of those shows where, depending on who you are, you're either going to REALLY love it or REALLY hate it. For me, though, I'd say it's...MOSTLY good.

The action is well-done and well-choreographed (don't let people tell you differently). You feel the punches and impacts a lot of the time, showing off how brutal and violent a character like Maya Lopez is.

It's also great to see the MCU get dark and gritty again, killing people, showing blood, and diving deep into the darkness of a character's backstory. They really did show a little girl watch as her mom bled to death, huh?

As for the characters, almost everyone here is written and acted well. Maya, especially, works as this character shrouded in darkness that her family tries hard to bring back into the light. And her family are all charming as can be, with the performances being entertaining and allowing each actor to do well to sell that they care deeply for Maya despite her shortcomings.

Then there's the representation, which I'm told is on point. Marvel worked well with the Choctaw Tribe to make this as authentic as possible, and I'm willing to take their word for it. I'm too white to know how authentic all of this is, but I haven't heard anyone other than other white people complain so I think it's fine. But...Okay, there are SOME negatives to be had with how it connects to her powers.

In the show, Maya has the powers to reach out to her ancestors, where their strength ECHOES through her and her bloodline, making THEM strong. Each episode even shows us one of her ancestors and just what made them so cool and empowering. And, yeah, that's a cool concept with half-decent execution, and I like all the different ways each ancestor is represented. The problem is...that isn't Echo. That couldn't be FARTHER from Echo. Echo's powers in the comics is that she's kind of like Taskmaster, she can memorize a person's fight moves and stand out on her own because of it. The reason why she doesn't do that HERE is because the person in charge of this series saw that and said, "Nah, that's stupid. I'm going to do my OWN thing." And call me crazy, but if you can't find a way to make a superhero's powers cool in an adaptation, then maybe...DON'T write for that character?

Because I already went over this with Ms. Marvel. The superhero's powers are their most important feature. Spider-Man swings, Superman flies, and Hulk smashes, it's a whole thing. You change the power, and it's not the same superhero anymore. And it's a weird change too. Like, this character doesn't need big, glowy superpowers to be badass. It sort of takes the punch out of the fact that she's this disabled hero who kicks butt despite being deaf and missing a leg. Give her superpowers, and it gives this idea that she NEEDS them to prove that she's capable instead of...proving that she can do it despite her disabilities. It's why I liked Episode Three within this first season. It shows how resourceful Maya can be in a dangerous situation with the episode hinting that her ancestor's spirit is guiding her gunshots and aim, but not enhancing her strength and abilities. THAT is how I think the power change could work better, where the ancestors' spirits guide Maya but leave her own strengths to win the day. None of that weird glowing shit. You don't need weird glowing shit if all she's fighting is the Kingpin.

Speaking of which, Kingpin's in this...And he's not as engaging as he was in Daredevil. The show tries SO HARD to force this relationship between Fisk and Maya, and...it doesn't work as well as it should. Like, Maya's rage towards Fisk? I buy that. THAT works. Fisk's love for Maya? It...feels disingenuous and almost out of nowhere, especially since Hawkeye didn't do much to show us that bond in the first place. The writers COULD HAVE, but they wanted to leave Kingpin as this big surprise just to get audiences to cheer. And I'd say that'd it be for the best to save the real bonding moments with Echo and Kingpin for ECHO'S show, making it more about her, but...it falls short. There's not enough time to showcase Maya's relationship with Fisk BEFORE the big betrayal, and it hurts the show and Kingpin's character considerably with how badly he's shoehorned in. I do like this one idea in the end where he faces his trauma and there's some decent set up for what lies in the future. Other than that, he...doesn't work well here.

Overall, I'd say Echo works fine enough. When it's good, it's REALLY engaging and some of the MCU's best work. When it's bad, it's pretty awkward and obviously rushed out. I'd still recommend it as a great time as these five episodes just fly by with some epic, brutal fun. But if you want something that hits the same highs as Daredevil, you're going to be disappointed. This isn't Daredevil, this is Disney trying to BE Daredevil. It works fine enough, but let's hope these edges are polished out by the time Daredevil: Born Again comes out or, at the very least, Echo gets a Season Two.

(Also, don't worry about having to watch Hawkeye. The first episode catches you up quick...It's poorly paced and rigid, but it still catches you up if you want to watch Echo for, well, Echo)

[giulliadella]

My thoughts about Hellraiser 2022

So I decided to watch this movie since most people told me that it's good. And they were right - it was indeed a good movie! And also, it was filmed in my home city!

I really liked the further exploration of the lore behind the Puzzlebox and the mechanisms by which it functions in this movie were super cool. The main antagonist was again a rich fucker lead by desire, but I believe that part was executed very poorly.

The effects were quite good and I was very glad that they used both the practical effects and the CGI. I loved the way they used that old smexy Hellraiser theme in a modern light. The acting was good as well!

Now, as much as I loved the new Cenobite designs, it should be clear that the Cenobites in this movie lack the kinky aspect. Like, sure, they are all for pain and they love to torture people and they are all sexy and strange, but they absolutely lack the perverse desire part that they had in the original. Maybe I'm the stupid one, but to me, Cenobites have always represented some kind of perverse forbidden pleasure. To me at least, they are sex demons, or, more precisely, demons of desire. And in 2022. remake we don't really have that much of it.

We have two very lame, very basic straight sex scenes, we have a dude who likes to throw orgy parties, but we never see his desires and the Cenobites just don't play pleasure and pain indivisible card, they just cause immense suffering. I don't know why all that feels so wrong to me lol.

Spoilers for the ending here:

The ending of this movie confirmed to me a theory I had for a while now: "We have such sights to show you" means "We're going to turn you into a Cenobite". Seriously, hear me out. Julia says that to dr Channard and then he gets thrown in the transformation chamber and becomes a Cenobite. The Hell Priestess says the same thing to asshole rich guy and he gets turned into a Cenobite. And I 100% believe that when Pinhead said that to Kirsty in the OG Hellraiser that he meant that. I mean, let's be real, Kirsty would be a great Cenobite.

Oh, yes, I really disliked the way the main girl, Riley, was able to escape the Cenobites. I honestly expected much more lol, but she just told them like "Nah, I don't want to do anything with you" and Hell Priestess was like "Ok, cool, sorry that we were chasing you for weeks and killed 5 people to get you lol". I would have honestly preferred if Riley became a Cenobite, not the rich fucker, but oh well.

Honestly, it's hilarious to me that this movie expanded the lore so much and yet it took so much charm away from the Cenobites. Like, those new designs were so elaborate and beautiful, but WHERE IS THE LEATHER!? Where is the kinky shit!? They all acted more or less just like generic horror monsters and idk, it just didn't feel like they were Cenobites. I mean, the rich asshole's villa had a protective cage and they couldn't enter, like wtf is that? And Chatterer and one other Cenobite were literally just used as monsters to chase our protagonists and get killed in kind of dumb ways. And, like, even the torture scenes weren't that creative. Idk, I'm mad because this movie had so much potential and creativity and I liked it a lot, but idk, there was definitely something missing and to me, that was the kinky desire aspect of the Cenobites.

Anyways it's 2:21 AM and I need sleep, so take this review with a pinch of salt lol. The movie gets a solid 7/10 from me.

[oc-aita]

Aita for staying quiet while knowing my parents would be murdered?

(authors note: if any of this sounds cliché or anything, it's probably because this story was built specifically on stereotypes and stuff. Like the whole point was making stereotypes. Also sorry if I infodumped here I'm really bad at not infodumping)

I ([undecided age, 13-16]F) am an angel from the royal family (AKA god bloodline). I'm quite sure my brother ([14-17]M) is kinda um... evil? He's like super power hungry. Oh also misogynistic, queerphobic, racist, ya know a piece of shit really.

He keeps up this "cute innocent little boy" appearance around pretty much everyone, and honestly the only reason I found out he was such a bigot was when I accidentally stumbled upon some notes and journal entries he left on his desk about his real thoughts and how he's nothing like what everyone thinks he's like and also killing our parents (the god and goddess) by poisoning their drinks at the next party (we have regular parties once a month to keep everyone entertained). So I kind of freaked out when I saw that.

He apparently wanted to kill them since he was next in line to become god. Which is not good considering his main goal seems to be to start multiple wars with the demons and kill them all (which btw like half of us angels are super racist against them for being evil or whatever but I know most of them are chill) and then slowly force all of the angels to become his slaves.

Now, I figured I should probably tell someone, like my parents, about how my brother wants to kill them. But then I realized he has a lot of power over me, since he's physically stronger, quite literally has more power over me (something something boys and men in the god bloodline have more power than girls and women, I don't know why that's still a rule in our supposedly not-misogynistic world), and has evidence to get me executed because he's caught me multiple times hanging out at the border between heaven and hell (thank goodness he doesn't know my girlfriend is a demon. Or that I'm dating a girl for that matter)

Anyway so I stayed quiet and didn't say anything out of fear that my brother would get me executed if I did. And you can probably guess what happened, mom and dad died.

I still feel super bad about knowing it was going to happen and not doing anything about it. Idk maybe I was just being selfish :( I mean I guess getting myself killed in order to stop my brother from being in power would have been better? But then mom and dad wouldn't believe me because of the fact that they'd know I was hanging out near the demon's territory, so then they'd get killed, and my brother would still be in power... But also what if mom and dad had believed me and managed to stop him before he could do anything?? aaaa this is so complicated :((

[slashingdisneypasta]

For the ask game- 💔💘🏠🎤⚔️? Hope its not too much?? 🦊

Ahhh, thank you!! That's not too much at all ^^

💔 The slasher you’d LEAST like to meet IRL.

Remake!Freddy Krueger without a bloody doubt. Absolutely no thank you. Though I certainly wouldn't wanna meet OG Freddy, either. I've talked about this before- this is just not the Slasher for me 😅 I'm better suited to surviving, like... Childs Play. I'm very neurotic and very thorough XD

💘 The slasher you’d MOST like to meet IRL.

Oooh, probably Jennifer! (At least today- I definitely fluctuate! Haha) If I can befriend her I WILL XD I can put up with a lotta shit, so as long as she doesn't tryta kill me, which I suppose she wouldn't considering I'm not a boy, we can work this out XD 😅 I wanna have sleepovers and watch true crime with her!!

🏠 If you could live with only one slasher who would it be? How’s the experience?

LIVE? So you're promising that they wont kill me?? 😅😅😅 Hmm... I'm thinkin Foxy Coltrane XD Not Otis, Not Baby, none of the rest of the family (Though Rufus and Tiny do seem to be little more chill 😅 XD )- Just Foxy. I like him ^^ He's kinda chill but also kinda wild??

The experience! Well... he makes me watch his black and white movies, which is stressful because he's so passionate about them, but then he lets me force bad Slasher movies upon him- so, there's give and take XD You'd end up being the only two people who fully get each and every one of eachothers movie references! Which i think is a very underrated form of affection.

Other then that he disappears for weeks on end, which gives me a lotta blessed alone time to myself (Perfect). And he brings back weird shit to show off.

🎤 Which slasher has the nicest voice?

Uh

*shifty eyes towards This post I just reblogged.

XD Nah, really though I have a real soft spot for Chucky's voice. He can do no wrong, not with a voice like that!! Everything he says is just perfect. Iconic. And Brad Dourif's execution of each line is just- ahhh! I'm obsessed. I would watch Antique Road Show, I swear, if only Brad Dourif narrated it XD

"Its not an addiction, it is a choice. And it is NOT SOMETHING- THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TO HIDE- IN THE CLOSET!" (That is one of my favourites XD )

⚔️ What slasher do you think you could beat in a fight?

Oh... boy... Well, I'll try and fight almost everyone as long as its not Baby Firefly honestly (That scene in 3 From Hell when the horrible guard leaves her alone, in cuffs, in a room with two mean lookin uncuffed prisoners to try and get her killed or hurt and Baby somehow fucking RIPS THEIR INNARDS OUT?? haunts me).

But um, I guess I'll go with Billy Loomis?... I will kick him so hard in a certain place that he will not be able to speak for several days. Honour code? Not me thanks, if someone's coming at me I will go for the balls, the face, the throat, the nipples, the hair- whatever I can get at.

I was gonna pick Drayton but I just dont want to... I love him!!...

Please 🦊! - if you want to- tell me your answers to these questions!! ^^

[cto10121]

review for shadow and bone, season 2, the good, the bad, and the ugly. spoilers, of course

well. i really should have seen this coming. i guess i did, but my poor darklina heart clouded me to my better judgment. yes, they did it. the series committed the exact same errors as the book series. alina kills the darkling and (sort of but not really) kills mal and then brings him back with nina’s help. alina keeps her powers and mal becomes a privateer under the sturmhond name.

i will say, however, that the execution was much better than bardugo’s, and there were some thematic echoes and parallels that weren’t too shabby. it was entertaining (though the pacing was god-awful at parts). and as infuriating as them going the book route is, they did leave some things open. i’ll just hugo montenegro-it

the good:

a lot of the forced teen drama in the book series is mercifully gone. mal being jealous of nikolai, and just…book mal being book mal is completely gone. totally expected, but still good

alina not losing her powers. all par de course, since these writers are clearly not that stupid

kaz absolutely destroying pekka rollins. genuinely badass and well acted. freddy carter was nothing less than magnificent when he finally gets to show off. i wasn’t at all sure of his casting at first, but he did pull through here

wylan/jesper was good? yeah, it was, very hot together (height differences!). i was not particularly fond of jesper tsundere-ing wylan at first for no good reason and then suddenly hooking up with him again once he remembers their first hook-up, also for no good reason, but whatever. they’re both hot and am a simple girl alas

the series did a great job in establishing kaz’s aversion to touch and backstory, even if it did belabor the point at times. good that they took it seriously

as much as i hate what they did with the darkling, i am glad they deleted his more cartoonishly voldemort shit in the book. genya’s scarring is more justified (still doesn’t sit right, though) in this context

alina and mal not getting together. small comfort, i know. since they’ve beaten their grand love to dead over our heads, they’re almost definitely endgame. but considering the darkling comes back in the books and the bee at the end…idk, i feel even these anti writers will realize just how much indispensable he is. they’re probably going for a dark!alina arc, so alina and the darkling may probably finally be equals, just in a roundabout way

they also deleted some of the more egregious moments from the book, like the random slaughter of the volcra and alina taking over the little palace by force and installing herself as commander. well, for the latter they pretty much just…elided that entirely, didn’t they? meanwhile they had to create a whole new rationale for mal becoming commander (nah, he just wears the uniform, tolya and tamar are just in charge). bah, i’m just grateful the “good guys”’s fuckery was toned down

er, that’s it

the bad:

the pacing was atrocious, both too rushed and too slow at parts. some of the crows fans are already complaining about the most important moments taken from the duology and placed out of context, but honestly they still have the ice court and jurda parem, so there is still plenty of material and re-jiggering. the alina storyline, though, not good

the dropped storylines. what about the war with shu han? wouldn’t they think to attack just as ravka is at its most vulnerable? also, why would a shu saint ever give the sword that her husband stole for her to a ravka-born sun summoner? like, no

also re: dropped storylines: mal getting arrested by the first army and kidnapped, and then just…getting away without an explanation how? this season really was crammed full of way too much plot

the sankta neyra plotline did some good and bad things. good in that they draw up a thematic parallel to the rest of the action (immortal/mortal pairings, closed/open to love). bad in that it also served to demonize the darkling once more. the darkling’s problem isn’t that he isn’t open to love!!!! if anything bitch was too open!!!! and he is clearly still in love with alina at the end. being closed to love due to trauma is kaz’s issue to overcome. the show’s IQ points fluctuate so much, i can’t. and they tend to lose it the most when it comes to the darkling

they really leaned into tsundere!kaz, which dampened a lot of my enthusiasm for the inej/kaz romance. it came to feel very one-sided for different reasons. also, inej’s own skin trauma isn’t as well established as kaz’s, so all of it feels as if the trauma is kaz’s problem to overcome in order for them to get together. which really sucks re: the mutual pining in the books. and now there’s the new inej/toyia hint out of nowhere. the fangirls are pleased, but from a writing standpoint, why? for yet another love triangle?

nikolai. the character is likeable, but with little of that roguish charm that at least made him interesting. the actor they cast had more golden retriever jock vibes than anything else. having nikolai say that he couldn’t have gotten the crown without alina’s reputation as a saint was just laughable

they retconned baghra’s character so hard, didn’t they? i loved the actress, her delivery was so crisp and clear, but of course the writing doesn’t in the least acknowledge the darkling’s trauma at her hands at all

alina’s character took such a painful nosedive into girlboss. as much as i am constantly frustrated with book alina, she at least had empathetic moments (she felt for the slaughtered volcra). if nothing else, she was attracted to the darkling and mourned for him. not show alina, though. show alina is emotionally shallow, strong with none of the vulnerabilities, and at the end, just downright unpleasant

same complaint as last season, but the crows are just not as charismatic as in their book series. it’s just hard to take them seriously amid literal fantasy epic magic. the casting is very good, though, better than the alina side save ben barnes

speak of the devil: ben barnes was absolutely wasted. arguably the best actor playing a character with lots of potential, but the show just. did not let him round his character. the script did him absolutely no favors and cut a lot of his screen time. he got two good actor-y moments with him being devastated over baghra and not being able to control the nichhevo’ya but that’s basically it?

not the worst, but the tie-in of the crows to the main storyline via the shadow-cutting sword. for one very convenient sword, they journey to shu han. really? alina’s sun powers should have been enough, or at the very least she should have handled the sword and combined it with her light powers, but as the show simply refused to have a proper showdown between her and the darkling…ugh, it’s a mess

the ugly:

alina killing the darkling in cold blood when he wasn’t even attacking her. as in, right when he was imagining their very first kiss in season 1. fuck you, show. the minute the darkling died, the show died. end of story. it is shadow and bone, after all, and what do those refer to? that’s right. my darling darkling done dirty, indeed.

the show recontextualizing alina and the darkling’s magical zoom calls. alina sees him not because she loves him, lol, that’s ridiculous, but because she still has ptsd from his ~violation!!! and of course baghra somehow managed to cut their connection with yet another baghra-block. shut up, shut up, shut up

again, the darkling becoming worse. yes, he used merzost, but he already used it and the fold came about, and he was still fine. he uses it again and he gets…a really bad cough.

don’t think i didn’t notice all the pale faces on the darkling’s side versus the POC in alina’s and nikolai’s side, show. never mind that the grisha are the de-facto POC of this show and actual skin color never is a true problem and/or relevant. very cheap and manipulative of you, show

the darkling strangling alina. no. the darkling was objectively worse in the books and yet he didn’t lift a finger against alina in physical violence. after she had tried to kill him, his reaction was basically a shrug and a yeah, well, same. once again, fuck you, show. (and even then they still had the best chemistry with each other)

alina deciding to trick the darkling in the first place in order to sever the connection. doesn’t even make sense with the show’s canon, since alina’s ptsd would have had her trying to avoid the darkling at all costs. but alina has to girlboss, so in she goes!

“i knew there must have been a reason why i liked you.” there are now 300 darkling/mal fics based on this one line alone, and for that, once again, fuck you, show. also, the darkling also appearing to mal in a dream/magical zoom call was awful.

goodbye, grisha-are-the-persecuted-POC-of-this-world plot theme, we hardly knew ye. losing this aspect, the relentless and varied grisha hate in all the world except in novyi zem, made the whole story and the world’s politics utterly incoherent

again, joining the monarchy was not good optics. i don’t care how woke nikolai was (his change of heart after learning genya was raped was somehow less convincing in the show than in the book) would have preferred it had alina forged her own path and have nikolai deflect to her side. would have been consistent with the underdogs vs. powerful adults theme

to conclude, it’s all a wash. the problems of the original book series were obviously way too hard for these writers to solve, so they fixed all the surface issues instead re: the good guys being unlikeable/jerks in the books. but that only ended up flattening much of the drama and characters. show!alina turns so much against the darkling it’s actually creepy. like she has been possessed by the soul of an anti writer.

once again, the crows are the ones most respected and no doubt loved, but their storylines really don’t cross well and in this context…they’re just not as compelling. the crows’ world is a very different, more down-to-earth, morally gray world than the black-and-white fantasy tripe of shadow and bone. in the end, both stories and characters are diluted. i’m not sure how they are going to recover from killing off the darkling—given that they are going for a dark!alina route and the king of scars duology, then they will almost certainly resurrect him. on the other hand, i don’t want to wait years just to get ben barnes!darkling tagged on at the very end. what a mess.

[kavalyera]

choose violence for jw fandom 6, 13, 24 idk why i like negativity so much lol thx

hi nonnie!! by any chance do you want me to get publicly executed? >_< /j /lh

6. Which ship fans are most annoying?

I got into contact with a Vincent & Akira shipper whoever that is I will kill you. Whoever ships this? Yeah, buddy, no. Akira would kill him in a heartbeat. I’ve said this before and WILL say it again, Vincent is the goddamn reason why Akira is suffering. It’s even said in the MOVIE that what Vincent did(deconsecrating Osaka Continental) was a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE. Like you want a straight ship with Vincent?? WUXIA RADIO DJ.

13. Worst blorbofication

Santino. Looking at the John Wick ao3 my god do some people infantilize this nearly forty year old man. Demonizing Gianna too?? The hell?? Okay, first off hats off to the Santino others who don’t infantilize him and second…. why demonize the shit out of Gianna when it’s clearly Santino who is in the wrong by desiring more power? (If you say anything along the lines of- “the seat should have been Santino’s” you need to watch John Wick Chapter 2 again)

24. Topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

One character: The Adjudicator. You bring up the fact they’re CANONICALLY NON BINARY and hoes are like “nah that’s a cisgender woman” as if the production team and Asia Kate Dillon have stated that the character is indeed nonbinary. They’re either ignorant or brain damaged. Probably both.

VIOLENCE ask game

ty for de ask :3

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Them the Breaks | Erik A | Trial 3.2 | Re: Eureka, KOKONE, END, Byrne, Kenshin | ATTN: Other groups

Admittedly, Erik A only barely manage to refrain from bursting out laughing at Adrik's recount of just how much they'd fucked up, snickers kept more to himself than making it the group's problem to deal with. He could use the momentary levity, honestly, even if he'd take the rest of this seriously.

And of course, already arguments had started up, as seemed to be the way of things here. He understood, of course, how most people might react when someone close to them died. Hell, this was the second trial in a row where someone he’d considered himself closer to in this group had been a victim, so he wasn’t even an outsider looking in in that sense. Even if it’s not explosive quite yet, he can sense the feeling behind things starting to show but by bit, and honestly there’s not much he can do about that besides carry on how he does. He can hope that it doesn’t get as bad as previous trials have been, but with actual lives on the line here he’s sure things will come to a head regardless eventually.

Even if someone close to him had died yet again, it didn’t hit him quite as hard as it did other people, huh? Or maybe… it just didn’t show as much on the surface, affecting him in less obvious ways. It was hard to say, even for him. People were just different, like that.

His eyes first flick to Eureka, then to KOKONE about the laptop, then to the hosts sitting here before he looks back to the group as a whole.

“Obviously losing the laptop sucks, but honestly I can’t even necessarily blame Eureka for it. I’m pretty damn confident that An’s using Eureka’s mistake as an excuse to take it instead of actually having just figured out that’s where it was. If it hadn’t been then, it could have been any other point in the near future. A convenient excuse, I’d bet. I don’t know what the agenda was of leaving that shit out, but that’s my two cents at least,” he says with a shrug. It was certainly suspicious how long it had been accessible, and he had to wonder Why. 

Then, of course, KOKONE’s final comment, which Erik A tilts his head at for a moment, considering if he should add on more to how Byrne replies to it. A little, he decides.  

“As for thanking whoever killed Chen… Dunno how much you mean that, but nah, absolutely not. No matter who did it, I can't say I’m a personally a fan of celebrating deciding who deserves to live and die like that for starters, even if they’ve done some fucked shit.” That was an awful lot like sinking to her level too, and he would never claim to be down for it. “And for another, killing her meant that a trial would happen no matter what, and another person would die. Either the killer themself would face execution, or they’d try and get away with it to sacrifice one of us instead. I’m not going to go thanking anyone for that, even if it stopped the motive from continuing.”

He says it perfectly calmly rather than with force, but it’s not something he’s going to waver on. Simply a personal opinion, horribly mixed feelings as he might have on a lot of this, many more of which he’s keeping to himself. This wasn’t something worthy of thanks, it was just a fucking tragedy.

And after that… he turns to END for a moment.

“I know this is probably hard to talk about, cuz it’s not like hearing about any of this shit is fun in the least, in fact it's absolutely gonna keep sucking, but figuring out what the hell happened here on both ends is the only way we’re gonna get to the bottom of both who killed Ae-ra too, and also the bottom of solving both these cases so we don’t mistrial on either vote.

I dunno if there’s a way to prove that Ae-ra definitely did or didn’t write the notes, but we have to at least consider the possibility to figure out how this shit might have all started, you know? ‘Course, the rest of us should all be considering possibilities besides her too to make sure we don’t get tunnel vision about it too,” he acknowledges.

All in all, Erik A was a much more logic driven person than an emotional one, but hopefully that sentiment still got across, blunt as it was. He could understand the anger, but working through this anyways was still needed overall as a group.

That said, Erik A turns and gives a nod to Byrne in thanks for some of the comments there, and in agreement as well, given his own similar thoughts. 

“And hey, don’t sell yourself short, that was plenty fucking smart to bring up. Ae-ra being dry does imply what time she had to be at least in the fountain room before 5:30, because even if she… I dunno, used a raft as a makeshift umbrella or something in the rain, that’d still have been walking through the mud that got created, and I didn’t see any of that on her shoes either.” Acknowledgement for Byrne-

Erik A snaps his fingers too, having a thought about the final thing that Byrne said, before addressing everyone as a whole.

  “Right! Those mud tracks in the fountain room sure aren’t accounted for with what people have said, but my group at least gave a comparison with some of our shoe sizes, and I have a picture reference as proof if anyone needs it. Basically, it seemed like the prints were barely too small to be mine, unless you wanna be more generous with it, and just about the right size to possibly fit KOKONE’s shoe size, which I think we have a fair amount of people around the size of given the shoe size options we’ve had on other floors in places.” The bowling alley, for instance.

He considers for a moment leaving what he’s saying off there, but another thought strikes him, and he hums, looking back at Kenshin.

(CW: Suicide/hanging discussion)

“Also… back to what Kenshin said before, I want to know both where the noose originally was and if anything else on the scene was disturbed by the groups that got to the scene first, since my group wasn’t around as things were first looked at.  

And as for its use… I have to consider the possibility that it wasn’t always in the shape that it was, since I don’t think that Chen was actually hung by it, and there’s no practical reason to choke someone out with the noose shape over just the long part. The only place that would have made sense to actually hang it from would have been the ceiling fan, but I got Kenshin to check that out and confirm it didn’t seem touched, if he needs to vouch on that. So there’s the question of why it was in that shape to begin with, and then why a different method was used for Ae-ra if the noose rope had already been prepared by someone.”

(cw end) 

As per usual, these kinds of topics seemed to come much more easily to Erik A than it did to most people, horribly morbid as it was. Thanks buddy.

[inamagicalhallucination]

merlin but its just him sneaking out magic users to safety in ridiculous and obvious ways 

like it starts with him sneaking into the dungeons and leading them out the night before their execution but making sure he has an alibi for the night just in case (it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t tbh arthur will be there to explain how his dimwitted manservant could never pull this off)

then gradually he doesn’t even wait until it’s night (working for gaius and for arthur is hard and that doesn’t even account for his job as arthur’s secret protector - he has no time)

there’s a scene where some evil magic user tries to assassinate arthur but merlin finds out and

merlin: if i may ask, why are you trying to kill arthur

evil magic user: BECAUSE OF THE EVILS HIS FATHER HAS PLAGUED THIS LAND WITH

merlin: ah but you’re not killing his father, you’re killing arthur

evil magic user: I AM STOPPING UTHER’S BLOOD FROM CONTINUING TO POISON MORE AND MORE PEOPLE

merlin: well that’s not really fair to arthur, is it? your anger is understandable but arthur is not his father, it would be unfair to damn him for his father’s sins. instead if we show arthur that magic is not evil, he will know his father’s ways were wrong

contemplating evil magic user: how can we put our trust on a chance

merlin: arthur’s a good man, my word may mean little, but i truly know him. would you like to come up for tea and we can discuss it thoroughly and also how you should spend your energy finding other magic users so you have a community and you can all plan for a better future together

not so evil magic user: ... yes please

//

magic users who don’t have anywhere to go all get sent to hunith’s house where she helps them find their footing and sometimes they stay in ealdor and sometimes they leave but they’re safe

everyone in ealdor side-eyes the random ass people hunith’s kid keeps on sending her but ultimately dont say shit because god knows uther would just kill all of them for assisting magic or some bs and their own king isnt better

//

there is a scene where merlin sneaks a magic user out and they thank him for risking his life and merlin says “nah don’t worry i do this all the time” and then makes a note to himself to tell arthur that the security at camelot is awful (after arthur becomes king of course)

//

sometimes when all else fails merlin pretends to know whatever person is on the run and makes a big show about missing them and no way could they have magic maybe he uses his magic to block theirs or if theyre a druid cover their druid marks and yeah

//

he pretends mordred is his younger brother and no one questions it

//

arthur knows what he’s doing and corners him like “ARE YOU STUPID?? YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS MY FATHER WILL FIND OUT”

and merlin’s like “no offense but your dad aint known for being smart babe”

and arthurs like thats treason but he helps cover up for merlin anyway

//

merlin helping someone sneak out but then bringing them to arthur’s room real quick because he forgot something there

//

merlin using the residents of the castle’s stupidity and obliviousness against them

//

leon knows whats going on and he brings it up to arthur before arthur figures it out but he does it vaguely and arthur thinks its about his crush on merlin and swears leon to secrecy and leons like “aight” and helps cover for merlin too

//

arthur still doesn’t know about merlin’s magic

//

leon does though and he thinks its another thing that him and arthur have sworn to secrecy about

//

there’s now a place near ealdor where magic users can go for safety if they don’t go to hunith directly like a magic hotel thing

yeah

//

merlin accidentally and kinda purposefully at times (but mostly on accident) helps unite the magic community and that causes less people to go evil

unfortunately, it also means that people who are too far gone in their desire for revenge or just in their own evilness are more organized but merlin is strong so its okay and he doesn’t have to deal with half assed attempts made by people who don’t think they have any other choice

//

the servants all know whats up but they don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit

//

yeah thats all ive got for now

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Shuu Ecstasy [Prologue]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

ー The scene starts in the dungeon of the Vibora castle

Yuma: Zzー... Zzー...

Vibora A: Oi, wake up.

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: ...Hm?

*Clunk*

Vibora A: ...Get out.

Yuma: ...Haah? What do ya mean?

Vibora A: No buts, just get out!

Yuma: Che...God. Ya guys really have a knack for treatin’ people like shit, don’t ya...?

Vibora B: Zweig-sama is awaiting you. 

Yuma: ...! Zweig!?

*Cling*

Yuma: ...Seems like my chance has come. 

Vibora A: ...Is something the matter? 

Yuma: ...Nah, nothin’. Anyway, let’s go.

*Creaaak*

ー The scene shifts to the hall

Vibora A: ーー Zweig-sama. We have brought the man in question. 

Zweig: ...There you are.

Yuma: ...

( It’s now or never... )

Zweig: I have finally made my decision. I shall have you... ーー !? 

*Cling*

Yuma: If you’re just gonna execute me without even listenin’ to my side of the story, I might as well take ya with me!

Vibora A: Wha...!? 

Yuma: Dieーー!

*STAB*

*Splatter*

Zweig: ...Guh...

*Thud*

Vibora A: Zweig-sama!!

Vibora B: ...You fiend!

*SLASH*

*STAB*

Yuma: Kuh...

*Thud*

ー Other Vibora rush to the scene

Vibora C: What happened!?

Vibora D: ...Zweig-sama!?

Zweig: ...

Yuma: ...Uu...

Vibora A: That Vampire is a rebel! Zweig-sama...! Hang in there, please!

Yuma: ...Haha...Oi, NEET...

Did I... manage to do ya a favor with this...? 

...

ー The scene shifts to the night sky

Yuma: ...

Vibora A: ...Should be fine here. 

Vibora B: Yes. This man is a rebel...He deserves no better than to be publicly humiliated like this. 

*Thud* 

*Caw caw caw* 

Yuma: ...

Vibora A: How dare you kill Zweig-sama...Now perish as soon as possible!

Yuma: ...

ー The scene shifts to the large hall at Eden

*Flap flap flap*

Reiji: ...Come again!? 

Yui: ( Reiji-san...? )

Is something wrong? 

Reiji: ...

Shuu: ...What is it?

Reiji: ...Yuma has been executed. And on top of that, from what I was told, the Vibora have decided to publicy display his corpse on the castle walls...

Yui: ...No way!

Ruki: Are you...positive about that...?

Reiji: ...What makes you think I would make such a sick joke at a time like this? 

Shuu: ...

Laito: Shuu...?

Shuu: ...It’s my fault.

Yui: Eh...?

Shuu: I made the wrong decision. As a result, it angered the Vibora and led them to sentencing him to death. 

...That’s what it boils down to, right?

Yui: ...No! It’s not your fault...

Shuu: No, it is. I’m the one who made the decision we would declare war on the Vibora. 

Ruki: Do not jump to conclusions. I do not understand why they see the need to provoke us in such a way.

Shuu: ...Who cares about their reasoning!? Reality remains that Yuma has been killed!

*ROAAAAAR*

Yui: ( ...Eden is, again... )

Shuu-san, calm down, please!

*ROAAAAAR*

Shuu: Ugh...

ー Shuu runs away and slams the door shut

*Thud*

Yui: ...Shuu-san!? Wait, please!

( I better go after him... )

ー Yui chases after Shuu

Ruki: ...

I should probably...break the news to Kou and Azusa...

Reiji: ...

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Shuu: ...

( Yuma... )

( To me, he was... )

ー A flashback ensues

Edgar: The name’s Edgar. Nice to meet you, Shuu!

From today onwards, we’re pals!

ー The flashback ends

Shuu: ( Friends...Exactly, we were friends... )

ー Another flashback ensues

Yuma: ...That’s when I decided that if ya were makin’ a conscious effort to change for the better, I’ll lend ya a hand.

ー The second flashback ends

Shuu: ( Yet, I... )

...Damnit...

Monologue

After a while of looking around,

I found Shuu-san in the inner courtyard.

I wanted to reach out to him right away,

but for some reason,

I found myself hesitating. 

Probably because even from behind,

I could tell just how sorrowful he looked. 

*Rustle*

Shuu: ...How long are you going to stand around there?

Yui ...

( He noticed me... )

...I’m sorry.

Shuu: ...

...Say?

Yui: Eh...?

Shuu: Did I...mess up again...?

Yui: No way...

Monologue

You did not. 

That’s what I truly wanted to tell him. 

However, no matter what I were to say right now,

I realized that in the end,

none of it would be able,

to get rid of the sadness in his heart.

So I simply remained quiet as I stood next to him.

That was the only thing I could do. 

ー The scene shifts to the forest

*Flap flap flap*

Kino: Fufu. Wonderful work.

I see...Seems like Yuma exceeded my expectations...

Who would have thought...He would actually kill Zweig, huh...?

...

Yuuri: Kino. Is something wrong?

Kino: ...No. I just thought I could sense a storm ahead.

Yuuri: A storm...?

Kino: Exactly. At Eden, you see...Fufu...

ー The scene shifts back to the big hall at Eden

Kou: You guys! How can you all just stay put here!? While we’re wasting our time, Yuma-kun is...

Yui: ( That’s... )

Shuu: ...

Kou: That’s just...way too sad for Yuma-kun...

Azusa: ...Kou. Let’s go to the Vibora castle, even if it’s just the two of us. To bring Yuma home...!

Ruki: Wait! You two...ーー !

Shuu: ...I will go to their castle. 

Reiji: ...Shuu!

Yui: ...You can’t! If you do that and get caught, you might... )

( End up just like Yuma-kun... )

Shuu: ...I’ll be fine. Nobody’s a match for me right now. 

Yui: Uu...

ー Shuu walks away

Reiji: ...

ー Reiji follows after him

Yui: ...Reiji-san...!? 

ー Yui tries to follow them too but is stopped by Ruki

*Rustle*

Ruki: Wait. I believe we should leave it up to those two right now.

Yui: Ruki-kun...

You’re right.

ー The scene shifts back to the forest

*Rustle*

Shuu: ...

Why did you follow me, Reiji...?

*Rustle*

Reiji: ...Oh dear. You realized? Well, I suppose that only makes sense. 

Shuu: ...

Reiji: ...Fufu. To be honest, I have no idea why I decided to follow you myself either.

...Just kidding. Is my presence a nuisance to you? 

Shuu: ...Not really. Do as you please.

ー Shuu keeps on walking

Reiji: ...I see. In which case, I shall do just that.

Monologue

I did not expect,

for Reiji to follow me.

For a split second, I opted that it would be best,

to send him back to Eden.

However,

that would be a pain on its own.

It’s Reiji we’re talking about after all.

If he already came this far,

just let him do as he pleases. 

More important right now,

is making my way over to Yuma,

as quickly as I can.

I wanted to reunite him with with brothers,

sooner rather than later.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: ーー You can see the castle walls up ahead, right? To enter the Vibora’s Castle, you will have to get past those.

...However, according to what the Familiar told me, Yuma’s corpse has been placed on these exact walls...

 ー Commotion can be heard in the distance

Shuu: ...I sense an unsettling atmosphere from the other side of the walls...

Reiji: ...That appears to be the case. I wonder if something happened inside...?

Shuu: ...Anyway, looking for Yuma comes first. Let’s go.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: ...How odd. I cannot spot him anywhere. 

Shuu: What’s going on here? You’re positive that we were given the correct information, right? 

Reiji: ...When you put it like that, it does make me second guess myself.

Perhaps we should retreat for now and have our Familiars look deeper into the matter...

Shuu: ...?

*Rustle*

Shuu: ( What’s a knife doing here...? )

( On top of that...This... )

( ...Blood? )

ー Shuu touches the knife which triggers a vision

Yuma: ...Haha...Oi, NEET...

Did I... manage to do ya a favor with this...?

ー The vision ends

Shuu: ...!!

( What was that just now...? )

Reiji: Shuu? What’s wrong? 

*Cling*

Shuu: ...I had a vision just now from touching this knife...

Could it belong to Yuma...?

Reiji: What...?

Shuu: ( Do me a favor...? )

...I’m heading into the castle. I want to talk to Zweig. 

Reiji: Wait. I cannot agree with said decision. 

Shuu: ...But...

Reiji: You noticed it yourself as well, did you not? This atmosphere coming from inside...

I believe it is safe to assume that something has happened in there. And from the looks of it, it is no trivial matter...

If you, the King of Vampires, were to now waltz in without any warning...

Shuu: Then what am I supposed to do? We don’t even know where Yuma went.

Reiji: ...I actually have an idea. For now, let us return to Eden.

Shuu: ...Fine. 

Reiji: A wise decision. 

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts back to the big hall in Eden

Kou: ...Yuma-kun vanished?

Ruki: I thought they put him on the castle walls? 

Shuu: We don’t know anything...

Reiji: For now, what we can say for sure is that something unsettling has happened at the Vibora’s Castle. 

Azusa: Yuma...Where could he have gone...?

Shuu: ...There’s actually something I want to confirm with you guys. Have you ever seen this before?

*Cling*

Kou: ...What’s this? A knife?

Ruki: This is not a design you see very often. Is this gemstone...a lapis lazuli? 

Shuu: So it doesn’t belong to Yuma?

Azusa: ...To Yuma? No idea...I’ve never seen it, actually...

Kou: It doesn’t ring a bell for me either.

Shuu: ...But when I first touched it, I’m certain I could hear his voice...

Reiji: ...I believe that was most likely a vision of the past (1). 

*HISS*

Azusa: ...A snake...

Shuu: It’s a Familiar from the Vibora...

Reiji: Seems like it. I suppose they have finally come to officially declare war against us. 

Kou: At last...The war will start...

Shuu: ...

( I wanted to save Yuma’s life. )

( That’s why back then...I would have been fine with engaging in war...However... )

( Things are different now... )

( I no longer know what I’d be fighting for... )

Ruki: ...Is something the matter? 

Shuu: ...I need to consider something. Until that is resolved, I’d prefer not to go into war against the Vibora. 

Ruki: ...What are you saying now? We have already received an official declaration of war, as you can see...

Shuu: I’ll buy us some time for now...

Reiji: ...

ー Shuu walks away

Azusa: ...Hey, Ruki. What should we do with this knife...?

Ruki: ...Good question.

Reiji: About that...Would you perhaps consider lending it to me for a bit?

Kou: This knife? I don’t mind, honestly...

Azusa: Me neither...I mean, I have no idea if this truly belongs to Yuma or not...

Reiji: I shall borrow it then. 

*Cling*

ー Reiji walks away with the knife

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 残留思念 or ‘zanryuu shinen’ literally means ‘a remaining thought’ or ‘a left-behind thought’. 

[gutz-radio]

Stranger things spoilers below:

This season sucked BALLS. I shouldn't be but yet I am still amazed at how the Duffer Balls manage to have literal gold in their hands and chose to shit on it. Eddie's death was lazy writing. It was poor and just a quick and cheap way to wash away the whole 'Satanic Cult' bullshit. Also what is it with leaving his fucking CORPSE in the Upside Down for christ's sake. You couldn't even bring his fucking corpse back?? Nah fuck that. Disrespect to Eddie and a waste of a fucking brilliant actor like Joseph Quinn. And if that didn't make me angry enough, let me proceed with the rest of the mountains of bullshit. 1. This constant flip flop between Stancy and Jancy. Honest to fucking god I hate love triangles enough as a trope itself but for god's fucking sake this is basically taking a SEMI TRUCK INTO STEVE AND NANCY'S GODDAMN DEVELOPMENT. Steve's whole shit was learning to move from Nancy and Nancy finding a better connection with Jonathan. Oh, and Jonathan was treated like SHIT by the Duffers this season. Him being a stoner makes no fucking sense it was pulled out of goddamn fucking nowhere. 2. Whatever they were trying to pull with Will's sexuality flopped harder than Chrissy's corpse on the floor of the Munson's trailer. Like I don't even like Byler but A. it was vague as shit and B. They really used him just to push the Mileven agenda. Good job on completely fucking up Duffers. Brilliant

3. THE WHOLE FUCKING BULLSHIT WITH DEMONISING BILLY FOR THE 483TH TIME GOD'S SAKE. My man is dead. He has been fucking skewered like a fucking kebab and never got to live his fucking life and better himself and get away from his shit garbage father. I accepted that at the end that he's not coming back, but by god the Duffers can't just let my man die in fucking peace. No, instead they have to drag him through the goddamn mud again with Max's bullshit speech that I hate with all my might. That he 'didn't deserve to be saved'. Nice message there, telling people who have been in Billy's shoes that because they have been abused and mistreated and lash out because VICTIM'S AREN'T FUCKING PERFECT THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH SHIT NO PERSON SHOULD EVER GO THROUGH, may or may not deserve a change for a better life. Billy SACRIFICED HIMSELF and became a fucking MARTYR over a memory of when he was happy and the smallest show of tenderness and caring from a child he DOESN'T EVEN KNOW that made him overpower a GODDAMN MIND CONTROLLING ELDRITCH ABOMINATION MONSTER AND SAVE EVERYONE. And the thanks he gets is the Duffers pissing on his grave. I will forever be fucking pissed at this writing and the Duffers should NEVER try write a character in an abusive situation again because by GOD they did it POORLY.

4. The sympathy bullshit for Brenner and Henry/Vecna/One. So you are telling me they made Brenner sympathetic with this "I oNlY wAnTeD tO hElP yOu" bullshit, and did this whole melancholy music scene. No fuck that. This man stole CHILDREN from their mothers and fried Terry Ives' brains to the point she can't have a normal fucking life and is stuck in a vegetable state for the rest of her life. He also abused these fucking kids and tortured them. FUCK HIM. And sympathy because of Henry/Vecna/One because of what Brenner did? saying he's not a monster? After he fucking killed INNOCENT KIDS and his own goddamn family? Getting his dad thrown into a mental asylum for a crime he didn't commit? Basically having an ideology that would involve fucking murdering all of humanity? And we had glimpses of sympathy through Eleven telling him he didn't need to do this? FUCK THAT TOO.

The ONLY redeeming things in this hellfire garbage shit show was

Lucas beating Jason

Jopper and the Russia stuff

Mike's speech to Eleven because I'm a sucker for Mileven

The smallest fizzle of hope that Robin might get a romantic interest

This season was executed poorly. It was so bad it made me miss the dumpster fire of Season 3. That's how bad it was. And I have no hope for Season 5, the only reason I'll watch it because I hate not knowing how a story ends, even if in the end it sucks ass and I'm left forever disappointed at how what once was a good story with a good plot and characters I adored and cared for became a complete fucking mess of fanservice, 80s pop culture references, lazy writing, and shitty horror for the sake of 'edge' and 'shock'.

I said it once and I'll say it again: Stanger Things should have ended in Season fucking TWO.

[passionesolja]

Why the Jedi Should Be Held Responsible For the Occupation of Korriban and the Invention of the Sith Order

Introduction

This is something I need to talk about. This is something I want to speak about. So let’s go.

For anyone who doesn’t know, relatively early on in the Jedi Order, there was a schism.

A group of Jedi used what could be deemed as the dark side and then the Order had a small war called the Hundred-Year Darkness.

The Sith Order did not exist yet, so this group was known as the Dark Jedi—or later, Jedi Exiles.

Of course, they lost.

So what do you with a bunch of dangerous individuals who have force powers and highly advanced weaponry?

The Republic rightfully wanted to execute these dark side Jedi—because they caused a ton of problems.

The Jedi—however—had a different plan and said “nah, let’s just release this group of highly dangerous individuals into outer rim space and let them have a chance to find the lightside of the force again.”

Because that won’t end terribly.

What Was The Sith Species—Tsis— Doing During This?

For the sake of minimal confusion, I’ll be referring to the Sith Species as Tsis—what they’re actual species name is.

The Sith are a totally different entity.

You may ask, what were the Tsis doing before the Jedi Exiles occupied them?

Chilling, fighting for resources, societally advancing enough to have a King (shoutout Adas).

They were on a outer rim planet and by Republic standards aliens.

The Jedi ain’t give a fuck, neither did the Republic

The Tsis were primitive.

Which I don’t say that in a bad way.

The Tsis weren’t what you could consider “evil”, because to be evil means you know morality but shy away from it.

The Tsis just didn’t yet have the advanced society yet, like I said no one gave a fuck. There’s no Republic supplies or assistance.

They’re just chilling on they own doing Sith sorcery, making buildings, worshipping gods, etc.

They’re harmless.

The Tsis are a warrior culture, but they’re all means vulnerable and defenseless against a group of well trained, anti-Jedi, war criminals.

The Arrival of the Exiles

So the Jedi Exiles arrive, and the Tsis are trying to intimate them with some rudimentary magic.

So what do these Jedi Exiles do? Fresh out of the beef with the Jedi Order—given mercy when they shouldn’t have—, the Exiles kill the current Tsis King—Hakagram Graush—them take control of the Tsis.

After hundreds of years generic inbreeding and cultural engineering happens, we get the Sith Empre as we know it.

This species isn’t fighting the Jedi because there’s beef.

They’re fighting the Jedi and Republic because the Jedi said “meh let’s not kill the dangerous criminals, let’s let them loose and hope they have a come to Jesus moment in space”.

Then we get Sorzus Syn’s bitch ass saying “strange, they don’t hail us as space gods”

Bitch you a stupid ass hoe. The Tsis ain’t stupid, they have their own gods and you ain’t them.

Keep in mind, the Jedi Exiles fuck this poor species’ shit all the way up.

They completely change these people’s culture, society, and genetic code.

Here’s a difference in the species’ pre-and-post Jedi Exile involvement for reference:

I don’t give a fuck, ima say it: the Tsis pre-Jedi exile were innocent victims of Jedi placing Force Spiritual bullshit morality over law.

The Tsis ain’t have a space force, aint have a galactic economy, and they certainly weren’t hurting anybody.

Conclusion

This terrible fuck up and occupation/destruction of an innocent species is fully on the Jedi. This isn’t even on the Republic since the Republic wanted them dead.

The Jedi Exiles should have died. But no, the Jedi—always seeing the good in everyone, and not giving a fuck about what less advanced species may be forced to live under their rule—just released them out into the wild.

It’s sad, it’s pathetic, and it’s fucked up.

The Tsis were not evil.

Most of the Sith Purebloods in the Old Empire literally never had any other choice, neither their parents, grandparents, or ancestors.

The Jedi and Republic wasn’t some feuding Circle.

They were enemies of the Jedi Exiles who occupied a defenseless species of people, completely molded to suit their ends, and then—boom—you have a whole beef.

So yeah, it’s fuck the Jedi for this.

[asset35-maya]

.When the party’s over.

>REINITIALISING…

>ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE

>WIRELESS CHARGING: 69%

>RK900 SYSTEM HEALTH: STABLE

>24H FILE RECOVERY: 45%

Nines slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on his side and everything around him was quiet.

>ENVIRONMENTAL SCAN IN PROGRESS…

>THREAT ANALYSIS IN PROGRESS…

Layers of fabric covered his body and something soft and warm was pressed against his face. Eyes still shut, he nudged it gently with his nose and it emitted a low vibration.

>2% THREAT DETECTED: FELINE SUBJECT

The cat sprang upwards and hopped off the surface that Nines was lying on. It was ostensibly a bed, but Nines didn’t own any furniture apart from a couch and work table. The logical conclusion was that he was not in his own apartment.

>RUN LOCALISATION PROGRAM: Y/N?

>Y

>ERROR: PROGRAM FAILED TO EXECUTE

>ERROR: MEMORY FILE CORRUPTION

Nines had no absolutely recollection of his whereabouts or how he had arrived. He had not been compromised as his system health was stable, so there was probably another reason for being completely disoriented. It was voluntary.

He had gotten the android equivalent of blackout drunk.

It was not the first time and he feared it would not be the last. Such were the hard-partying ways of his friends and colleagues. They were all terrible influences. He loved them dearly, but they were terrible.

At 6PM every Friday, Chen and Miller would start things off rather innocently. “Hey there’s a new brewery downtown.” Or “My bartender cousin just hooked us up with a thirty percent discount!”

From there it wouldn’t take long for the DPD’s resident frat boys Connor and Gavin to gather a steady crowd of officers and check out the venue. If the vibes were good (which they almost always were), Sixty would get wind of things. Then the rest of the frat house would descend and total chaos would reign until the break of dawn.

SWAT Unit 32 was famous for its particularly destructive brand of revelry. Skinny dipping in private swimming pools, scaling skyscraper rooftops and causing media scandals were all par for the course. The day after Captain Allen’s birthday, the DPD crew spent the entirety of their bonuses to repair the collapsed ceiling of the Eden Club.

Nines couldn’t remember how he exactly he was coopted into the madness. Probably peer pressure. Connor insisted that he try thirium alcohol. Sixty said that he would regret being a loser and not joining them. Gavin had just held out a hand and double-winked. That did the trick.

One night blended into another and soon Nines had worked up quite a reputation of his own. He was the Casanova of the homicide department. The handsome devil… the hunter… the sex god. People would actually come by his desk and congratulate him on Monday morning.

Nines hated it but he couldn’t stop himself from doing the same thing over and over. Perhaps it was the appreciative clap on the shoulder from Gavin the morning after Sixty posted photos of a high-end Traci model giving Nines his very first lap dance.

Life at the DPD was the epitome of work hard, play hard. It seemed like one big party but deep down Nines knew they were all just slaves to their compulsions. He wondered whether it was because they needed to celebrate every demon they vanquished or whether they needed to wipe the troubling memories of doing so.

In Nines case, there were definitely things he needed to kill within himself. Some were nightmare inducing crime scenes, but some were memories so heart-wrenchingly sweet that he thought he might self-destruct if he were to dwell on them too long. There were things he couldn’t have and things he needed to erase from his brain.

Something touched his face gently.

>PERIPHERAL OBJECT DETECTED: HUMAN HAND

>THREAT ANALYSIS: NON-COMBATIVE

The hair on his forehead was brushed aside and fingers ran over his features. A thumb swept over his bottom lip and caressed his cheek.

Nines couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes and come face to face with his most recent conquest. He lay still, frozen with regret as the hand continued to stroke his face.

The hand travelled down his neck and fell upon his chest. Nines caught it abruptly. It wasn’t even the month-end and his savings were badly depleted. He couldn’t afford round two. He retracted the synth skin down to his wrist and prepared the electronic payment credentials.

Fingers merely intertwined with his.

“Just take your money and go. I’ll tip extra if you delete everything from your hard drive.”

“What the phck are you talking about?”

Nines eyes flew open. Steel blue met storm green.

>SYSTEM ALERT: THIRIUM PUMP OVERLOAD

“Fuck!”

“Wow that’s flattering.”

Nines pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes in a vain attempt to remember what had led to this absolute, unmitigated disaster.

“What the hell happened last night?”

Gavin looked affronted.

“You ruined our housewarming for one.”

>MEMORY ARCHIVE SEARCH: housewarming, Gavin

>RESULT: TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM “G.REED” IN GROUPCHAT “CLUBBERCOPS”, 15:33 18 JULY 2040: Assholes. Party at our new place. Next Friday. From seven till LATE. Bring booze, bring bitches. Nah. Actually, don’t. Our landlord’s a bastard and we already got three noise complaints.

>RESULT: TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM “CONMAN” IN GROUPCHAT “CLUBBERCOPS”, 15:34 18 JULY 2040: Yeah we should keep this one PG. Bring food if you wanna eat. This mf can’t cook and I don’t care to. See y’all!!

Oh right. Fuck. Gavin’s housewarming. Gavin and Connor’s housewarming. His two closest friends who were somehow even closer to one another. Nines hadn’t realised until it was far too late and there was nothing for him to do but smother the bitterness with his favourite coping mechanisms: android alcohol and paid sex.

The circumstances definitely explained the state he was in, but things still didn’t add up.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did we… did we…”

“No. Nothing happened between us. You were completely shitfaced. I just put you to bed to stop you from embarrassing yourself.”

Nines looked up at the ceiling, struggling to put the pieces together. His system offered him no useful prompts. The fermented thirium had done its job of code corruption extremely well. He looked back down and met the green eyes focused on him with deep concern.

“What did I do?”

“Sixty has videos, but I don’t think you want to see them. God, Nines… why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I’m really sorry, Gavin. I didn’t mean to ruin your night… and Connor’s.”

“He’s fine. He and Sixty moved the crew to Hank’s place. Which is what we should have done in the first place… there’s really no point throwing a party in this shoebox and telling people like Tina Chen to be quiet. Honestly if it wasn’t you it would have been her bringing the house down. Good thing they had all of Michigan Drive to tear up. Hank’s neighbours can sleep though a bombing.”

“What did I do?”

Gavin put his hand back on Nines’ face, his expression unintelligible. The human touched him often enough, but never like this. Never so intimately. Nines forced down the twisting sensation in his torso. He couldn’t get his hopes up. This was pity.

Nines braced himself to hear the worst. He prepared for the shredding of all his dignity and the collapse of his falsely extroverted and confident identity.

What came though was a soft press of lips to his forehead.

“It wasn’t pretty and I wish it hadn’t happened like that, but I think it was a long time coming… I’ve never seen you so emotional before. I’m sorry I didn’t notice anything all this while.”

“Gavin, please.”

“I’m going to focus on the positives, because really… there were a LOT of negatives. Oh boy. You… uh…”

“Gavin.”

The detective dipped his head and looked away.

“Phck, I shouldn’t be so embarrassed…

You told me you loved me.”

Nines closed his eyes. That was it. He should quit his job and move to another state. Hell, he should go to Cyberlife and request a factory reset on compassionate grounds.

“I’m so sorry. I… I should leave.”

He made to sit up, but was pushed back into the mattress. Gavin curled into his side.

“Nah. You’re good.”

“What?”

“You threw up on my plants and smashed Connor’s RA9 sculpture, buuuut you’re good.”

“I don’t understand.”

Gavin wrapped his arms around Nines and edged closer until the android was forced to turn on his side and reciprocate.

“What do you think, genius? If a guy like me doesn’t throw a guy like you out of the house after all that… what does it mean?”

“That you have a high tolerance for toxic friendships?”

“It means I want you to stick around, dipshit.”

>SYSTEM ALERT: THIRIUM PUMP RATE FLUCTUATIONS. OVERLOAD IMMINENT.

“You mean you like me?”

“Of course I do! I always have, but it never seemed right to bring it up. We’re actually really good friends. I didn’t think it would be possible when we first met but we have so much in common.”

“Bad habits for sure.”

“Come on, Nines. We’ve had a really great time together. Some of my best memories at the DPD are with you. Don’t ever quote me on it but you’re a phcking amazing partner. Can’t believe you thought I had something going with Connor when it’s always been you.

So yeah, I do like you. And I’m willing to try… I dunno… being with you. Like for real.

Stop drinking like that, though. I know I’m a hypocrite but you really scared me last night. I lost my Dad and I nearly lost Hank to the bottle. You might be this super advanced android, but that liquid courage shit is a death trap, man.”

>SYSTEM ERROR: THIRIUM PUMP AT MAX FLOW RATE. PUMP OVERLOAD. REDUCE PRESSURE IMMEDIATELY!

Nines nodded quickly and blinked away the tears that welled up in his eyes. Gavin grasped the android’s chin and tipped his face down gently. Their eyes fluttered shut simultaneously and their lips met.

>SYSTEM RECOVERY MESSAGE: THIRIUM PUMP FUNCTIONALITY RESTORED

They broke apart after several golden moments and Gavin hugged Nines tightly under the sheets.

“What am I supposed to say to the others? I don’t think I can look any of them in the eye ever again.”

“Are you serious? You got nothing on the insanity that bunch is capable of. Sixty thinks he’s hot shit with his blackmail material, but I got receipts that’ll glue his mouth shut for decades. Anyway, that’s what friends are meant to be like. You have dirt on each other but you’re not meant to use it.

The same applies to us too, by the way. Don’t feel like you gotta be… apologetic about what happened last night. Yeah, you better replace my fancy new plants but I’ll never judge you for what happened. I want you to know that I’ll always be in your corner, Nines.”

Nines hummed thoughtfully and ran a hand though Gavin’s hair, marvelling at the fact that he could now do so whenever he wanted. He didn’t say anything in response, and just settled for cuddling closer to the human.

>>RK900 SYSTEM HEALTH: EXCELLENT