#I say this with confidence as if the reality isnt the opposite

[gl1tchr]

You’re in a room surrounded by all the riddlers. What do you do

I'm shoving everyone aside until I find Telltale Riddler and then I'm doing this

[niftykin]

"Im so sorry to bother you at home"

Starring: Nishinoya Yuu

Sypnosis: He has been trying to hit on you subtly for quite a few time, but he has grown a little more determinate now.

Request: Hello! Could you please write a Nishinoya x female reader where she’s seen by everyone as a serious, menacing person, when in reality she’s really just socially awkward and dense? Nishinoya tries hitting on her doing the usual tricks like flowers and bears and pick up lines but she’s just confused. Finally he just becomes more direct with her and honest and slowly she falls for him too? I’m sorry if it’s a bit too detailed and it’s okay if you don’t do this haha it’s been at the back of my head for a while

A/N: This one was so cute to write!, i tried to be really quick making this but the inspiration came to me like a thunder and here we are. Remember i use she/her in this fic.

Nishinoya Yuu. The thunder of the Karasuno team, always so energetic and kind, oftenly called delusional by his feelings towards Kiyoko, little did they know that it wasent a crush, he admired her and by that her personality and how she acted; But he liked you, he admired you and wordshipped the very floor you stepped on.

His tries were almost pathetic, sure he could tell Kiyoko anything btu it was different when it was you, he shacked and mumbled like a little kid inlove everytime he crossed any words with you. Everyone could tell but some way you didnt; Not even the flowers he gave you, little gifts he made for you with his own hands (which were a cute detail since he isnt pretty good with manualities) But from time to time his friends started to see that there was no response tho this little acts.

"She doesn't like you and she's acting like that to decline your feelings nicely" He heard one of them said, his heart ached but then Hinata spoke answering to the previous person, his words were filled with determination and his obvious spark that always bringed hope to everyone. "And what if she isnt?, she could see it was a friendly gesture. Nishinoya haven't talked about his feelings openly to her"

Hinata had a point, Sugawara and Daichi agreed, yes Nishinoya and his friends could think those hints were obvious enough to tell that he was completely head over heels inlove with you. But they know him as a friend and since pretty long time comparing to you; They weren't you and that meant they didnt feel or thinked like you.

He planned his confession, would you like something big? the whole school knowing?, No, it will make you agree by social pressure, Did you liked him enough to say 'Yes' without much people knowing? Oh God.

It was 6PM on a friday. He can remember it vividly, his steps were hard on the floor and his fingers were digging into his shirt and on the little box he held, his palms sweated and his face was red; He knocked at your door. After a few minutes you opened the door.

"Hey, im so sorry to bother you at home" he started as he saw you, his face blushed and his cologne was subtle as always. "I know that this might be hard but... I dont know what to say" he started panicking.

"I like you a lot" He finally stated after a sigh, his gaze fixated on the floor, the blush on his cheeks made him look heated, his breathing was heavy and his mind was longing and pleading for an answer.

"Are you being serious?" You spoke, a hidden tint of amusement in your voice, his feeling were glowing as he answered "Of course i am, why wouldnt i? i like you so much" He said as he took another step, reflecting his mind and then doing the opposite and stepping back, he didnt wanted to make the situation awkard, he just wanted to finally be totally sincere with you.

little did he know you liked him aswell, but oh lord he is the happiest man alive.

"Hey, i bringed this for you too" He said as he smiled at you, more confident and smug after your answer, handing you a little figure you have been longing to have since quite a few time. He buyed it for you since the first day you mentioned it but he decided to wait untill the ocation was perfect, and sure it was.

[digiitaldaydreams]

just rewatched rebellion and god its so good. so so good. i want to talk a bit about the flower scene because its such a well done scene that i think really helps set up homura's transformation near the end. also it made me cry /silly

before i get into it i do want to preface it with this: i know the madoka in the labyrinth really is madoka, but what's important is that her memory is gone and being held by sayaka and bebe.

she's been reset to episode one madoka, and she hasn't gone through that same character growth that allowed her to confidently sacrifice herself to become the law of cycles. in a world full of nightmares, relatively harmless ceeatures compared to the witches, what motivation would she have to sacrifice herself?

its like the scene on the walkway in the anime, where homura asks her if she'd throw away everything, family, friends, to change her life. in its original context its purpose is simple: its code for whether madoka would become a magical girl. but when its called back to at the end of rebellion, it's about her becoming the law of cycles.

madoka without her memories, the one in the labyrinth, would have answered just the same as she did in the anime. but when she has her godhood back and is split in half by homura, she has enough awareness of her place in the universe to question her surroundings and what she's being asked.

anyways the point is that what madoka is saying in this scene isnt necessarily her 'true feelings' and instead a side-effect of her memory wipe and the labyrinth. ok? ok.

ok flower scene. the scene starts off with madoka walking with homura, bringing her to the spot they were at near the beginning of the movie: the flower field where they said they felt like they knew each other forever.

madoka says that homura can tell her anything, and that even if she cant help, she'll listen. when homura begins to speak, theyre on two opposite sides of the overhang.

homura, as she begins to realize the truth of this world, is isolated from madoka. homura is in the dark, in shadow, while madoka is completely and almost unnatturally illuminated.

homura says she had a terrible dream,¹ where madoka went far away, and everyone else forgot about her. as she says this, she runs away from madoka, through the flowers. she doesn't want to confront it at all.

she says no one could understand how she felt. she was so lonely. she thought she had just made madoka up, she began to doubt herself.²

at this, madoka comes in close, and hugs homura. she's closing the distance that homura has tried to put between the two of them, both metaphorically and physically. she's reaching out.

she reaffirms that yes, that's terrible, but it's okay now. because she would never do something like that. madoka says she was weak, and she would never do something that made someone as strong as homura cry.

homura is immediately receptive, the idea that madoka didnt actually want to sacrifice herself, it's tantalizing. maybe there's still a chance. maybe, just maybe, she can have madoka back.

madoka continues, she would never want to leave any of them. homura, sayaka, kyoko, or mami, her family, the people in her class, she'd never want to go somewhere she could never see them again.

and as she says this, she begins to re-braid homura's hair, the hair she took down as she became disillusioned and serious within the anime, and the hair she took down as she began to search for the truth in the movie.

while madoka comforts homura, she's drawing her deeper into the false reality. she's reinforcing the doubt in the back of homura's mind that maybe, just maybe, madoka's sacrifice wasn't what she really wanted.

while braiding her hair, she's symbolically trying to bring her back to the state she was in at the start of the movie: entirely an unquestioning part of the labyrinth.

and then madoka says that even if she had no other choice, she would never have the courage to do something like that.

a blimp shines a spotlight on homura, as she suddenly understands what she has to do. it's the moment she gets the idea to pull madoka down from the heavens to be by her side.

it even directly flashes back to the scene on the walkway, where at the beginning of the series, madoka says she wouldnt change anything. in her mind, this is what madoka really feels. this is the truth. this is what she needed to hear.

as she says it outloud, this is how she really feels, a darkness spreads from her. her motivation is established. she'd do anything to protect madoka, so why didn't she stop her? she has to do the second best thing: bring her back.

she turns to madoka. she has what it takes to make that hard decision, homura knows this, she's seen it before. she's far kinder and stronger than she knows. the flowers die, and turn to dandelions, floating in the wind.

but of course madoka doesnt remember. she returns to reality, the braid falling out of her hair. maybe she's an illusion, or a false copy someone else created. how else could they meet again?

but she says can tell, this is the real madoka. they could talk, just one more time, they could talk.³ and that's what homura's wanted for so long, she doesn't care that it could be fake. because in this moment it's real.

she knows what she needs to do now.

———————～ ♪ ～———————

¹ this is actually called back to later on, at least in the dub! when kyoko is talking to sayaka in the final battle she says she had a dream where sayaka died, "but that was real, wasn't it? this is the dream." felt like pointing it out but didnt want to break the flow of the paragraph

² this is just a personal note but ohhhhg god. this line made me start sobbing in real time. i get it.

³ homura did nothing wrong

(sorry that the screenshots are a little low quality, i got them from a clip on youtube from like 7 years ago. which is also why i paraphrased the dialogue instead of directly quoting it since i didnt have prime video up while writing this lmao)

[inu-yasha]

someone told yashahime isnt canon but moroha and sesshomaru's daughters are bc rumiko confirmed they're canon in an interview. how can that be? especially when there was no romance between rin and sesshomaru in the original manga or even the anime

"someone" Author yashahime?? this is "someone" on his Twitter (Now X) he said this is "someone"??? anon did you read what I wrote? I was talking about the author of this manga.

If rumiko did this then… oh my god it's funny she let this series be crap until the end. If she said so, so be it. But honestly, I don't trust her, and you know why? Because many times she said something in an interview and showed something different in the manga. I don't believe her that she liked Kikyou, she let them destroy her, just like she said that Kagome is stronger than Kikyou, which she proved to be untrue, because she showed her as a lady in distress like always, useless and addicted to Inuyasha. That's why I don't believe her and have limited trust in her in many matters. But since she said that children are canon, it's fine with her. Despite everything, a child does not change much in this relationship, as it has been shown and this is also the reality. Children are a guarantee that the relationship between two people will be stronger

in another interview she said that Sesshomaru is Rin's adoptive parent. Has she changed her mind now? She hasn't changed anything. Anyway.

That's why she could have said it to please her fans. Rin and Sesshomaru's relationship in canon is the opposite of what she wrote, right? Sesshomaru treated her like a daughter or if not a daughter then someone he wanted to protect. He never once showed her romantic feelings, only concern. She helped him change

She had a closer relationship with Kohaku, whom she confided in about her problems, which she did not do for Sesshomaru.

This just shows that Rumiko is still doing it. She does everything to please her fans

Since she accepted these children, she accepted the romantic relationship between Sesshomaru and Rin where she previously said that she saw Sesshomaru and Rin as father and her daughter.

And if it's true, what are you saying? So how can I trust Rumiko?? She did it again. I don't really trust her. She is not a trusted person, she denies herself once again.

that's I mean.

This is possible because Rumiko is such a person, she changes her mind and contradicts herself, which makes her distrusted, and many times through the manga she showed differently than she said in interviews. Now she did it again. Nothing surprising about her.

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I've seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker… ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

Kagami has no idea why her mother suddenly has an interest in Marinette but she wont complain about having more time with her very cute designer friend. And all the outfits Tomeo is paying Marinette to make for Kagami is giving the young fencer plenty of up-close and personal moments with Marinette. And okay Marinette is VERY cute and Kagami wont question why she suddenly has all this tine with Marinette, eating ice cream with the girl and having brunch. But she knows shes absolutely head over heels when Marinette shows up at her fencing tournament gives her a luck charm and cheers her on wearing HER colors. Obviously Kagami wiped the floor with all the competition she cant be seen hesitating in front of Marinette!

On Tomeo’s side of things she makes sure that the paparazzi still lurking around after Kagami and Adrien’s breakup catch photos of what could easily be interpreted as dates between the girls. After all this is a revenge ploy but also Marinette is fantastic so Tomeo is 300% down with Kagami ‘bringing her into the family’ something she tells Kagami after the first paparazzi ‘date photos’ leak into the news. Kagami still has no idea this was an orchestrated affair and just thinks her mothers caught on to her feelings and is overjoyed that Marinette is approved of because after the cheek kiss Marinette gave her for winning the fencing tournament Kagami was preparing to fight her mother for the right to pursue the young designer seriously. After all she never hesitates! 

But Tomeo never realized Gabriel isnt the only one interested in Marinette. Audrey Bourgeouis has been keeping an eye on Marinette trying to find a way to get Marinette on to her side and away from Gabriel. So when she sees the photos of Kagami and Marinette she sees an opportunity. After all if Marinette isnt exclusively into men (and those photos of her flushed cheeks as Kagami cleans ice cream off her bottom lip are a clear indication shes not) then Audrey smells opportunity. After all Marinette was Chloe’s first crush! How cute would that be! The next day Marinette is being offered yet another opportunity to intern under Audrey this time with much looser restrictions. When Marinette accepts she suddenly finds herself working with Chloe… A LOT. The pair are modeling together, often paired together for shoots in perfect complementary clothes that screams ‘opposites attract’. Chloe is also helping manage Marinette’s brand and the two start to get along very well. The model photos and their business lunches are soon plastered alongside the Kagami and Marinette outings with parisian gossip blogs finding their interest picked by this potential love triangle.

Chloe for one, was confused at first. Sure she knew her mom was interested in Marinette but she never thought SHE would be working so closely with her first crush. And Chloe tries to ignore it, after all those are dead feelings! And Marinette woud never forgive her anyway so why even- Wait. Is that Marinette in a downright gorgeous golden dress? A-and she will be posing right next to Chloe for their shared shoot? Well… Chloe always thought herself deserving of royalty and damn if Marinette aint the princess of her dreams. Sorry Adriken’s you had your chance to get the girl, but now its winner keeps all and Marinette is the only prize shes interested in. For the record Alya is freaked out by Chloe being nice, but shes more weirded out by Chloe being protective and handsy and downright shamelessly flirty with Marinette. Audrey is pleased when she hears the news and is quick to give her daughter encouragement acting as if none of this was premeditated at ALL.

Oh but they have no idea that this is just the beginning. Because guess who's moved back into town. Adrien’s favorite cousin and aunty. And Felix’s mom is quite the busybody and dammit Felix needs friends! And maybe a cute girlfriend! And oh whos that pretty girl on the magazine cover? Marinette? The one her celebrity connections have nothing but praise for? Perfect! Shes invited to lunch with Felix and herself on friday to discuss movie costumes! And oh Audrey dear dont you think Marinette would look fabulous sandwiched between TWO blondes! Felix hasnt modeled in a while but come now. So suddenly Marinette is being spotted with Felix guiding him about paris and modeling with him AND Chloe under AUDREY’s brand NOT Gabriels.

Felix thought hed really hate Marinette; he tried to ignore her he really did. But shes funny, witty and sweet. Not to mention trustworthy, so a good candidate for a business partner. And thats it, but then he has to admit hes impressed when he rolls up to a photoshoot and Chloe! The definition of brat personified is acting… Bearable. Yes, somehow Marinette has done the impossible! She has tamed the beast known as Chloe. And yes fine he will admit shes drop dead gorgeous and how intelligent of her to learn all sides of the fashion industry and boost her rep with modelling! Soon hes spending more time with her, he tries to argue he needs a guide, that shes the most bearable person to be with! That she is just a friend- Oh god. No it cant be! He sounds like-! Like ADRIEN! And Chloe already told him about THAT mess! No! Absolutely not! He will not lead on Marinette like his idiot cousin! Marinette is a rare and beautiful woman! She could be his queen! And god he has to admit it much as he loathes too Marinette’s smile is enough to make him thank every non-existent god. He will win her heart, show her that she deserves better than his brain dead cousin! Felix is sure mother will approve of his decision to pursue the girl, now he just needs to do more shoots with Marinette...

And that's what finally gets Gabriel to snap. Because REALLY Felix!? Is there no loyalty to FAMILY. Not to mention he was totally drafting a potential contract for Marinette when Audrey snapped her up the witch! But its fine! Marinette has always been interested in Adrien! Surely she still is? Surely she's not been swayed by any of her new suitors! Right? Gabriel knows he can't mess with Audrey’s contract so he goes through Adrien, freeing up his sons schedule and telling him to spend time with Marinette to help her ‘adapt’ to the harsh world of fashion and modeling. He uses Adrien’s heroic nature to make it sound like hed be saving her from Chloe and Felix. And sure enough Adrien bites, using his friendship with Chloe to worm into fittings, meetings, and photo shoots. At first hes just there to make sure Chloe and Felix arent hurting sweet Marinette. But when he sees the blondes fighting for her attention, flirting with her, posing with her in some rather romantic settings. Suddenly hes less worried and more… Jealous? No! Not him! Hes concerned, confused, suspicious! Obviously he needs to spend more time with Mari- Wait! When did Kagami get here to take Marinette to lunch! And why are they all ignoring him!!!

Now Marinette is fully in the public's eye. Gossip blogs are being fed bits of info writing up each ‘candidates’ appeal as THE romantic partner to the Marinette Dupain-Cheng paris new darling, the girl with a heart of gold too oblivious to see the trail of hearts following her around! But there is still another contender yet to enter the game! Jaggeds been away on tour teaching Luka his up and coming protege all the tricks. And lets not lie Luka has his own fans now, enough to rival all the others. Jagged sees Luka as his own son, even calling him as much! Hell hes even adopted Luka and Juleka and when I say adopted I mean Jagged literally got shared custody of the kids when their real dad tried to start trouble once Luka started gaining fame. Luka and Juleka for one love their adopted father and his wonderful fiance Penny. But back to Jagged, being Jagged. 

The moment Jagged is back in Paris he's checking up on his favorite designer and hopefully future daughter in law! When… WHAT'S THIS?! All the other ritchies in Paris are playing his game! Trying to get Marinette married into THEIR families! Not rock and roll at all! He was here first! And so being Jagged he decides to make Luka’s stake in the race for Marinette’s heart clear! By spamming social media with photos of Marinette being cute with Luka, taking his measurements, going out with him, the pair babying Fang, the two passed out against each other after a long concert. And he has photos going back at least a year or two! Soon Luka’s fans pick up the hype starting a trending hashtag finding the pair cute! Jagged feels confident that hes won! When Audrey retaliates, and from there its a complete train wreck. Before long each pair has a hashtag filled with cute moments and arguing over whos dating the model / fashion designer! 

Meanwhile Adrien is drowning in denial as he goes through each hashtag seething about how many MORE photos everyone else has with Marinette, when HE is her very good friend and was here first! Felix, Chloe and Kagami on the other hand have declared open war after they tried to talk to each other about the hashtags reasonably only for it to devolve into “so you agree Marinette is best with me!” - “WHAT! No! Thats not what I said! Besides she clearly is best with me!” - “Ridiculous!” And so on. Poor Luka is having an entirely different reaction hiding in shame unsure how to face Marinette because he WAS going to ask her on a proper date now that she seems over Adrien, because even with everything she's the melody playing in his heart and he had a plan! But now his mom and sister are texting him and teasing him and apparently he has MORE competition! Who do these people think they are to deserve Marinette! No! Luka won't lose Jagged has been teaching him to be bold and confident! And Marinette is worth all of his efforts! Jagged REGRETS NOTHING even if Penny confiscated the tv remote!

Marinette meanwhile has no idea what's going on because the whole class made a dumb bet on when the designer would notice with one of the bet conditions being that no one could tip Marinette off and that they have to keep her away from Paparazzi so they dont spoil it either. And sense Alya is helping manage Marinette’s social media Marinette hasn't looked at it yet so she has NO idea what's happening. But her birthday is coming up next week and Chloe definitely didn't get dibs on planning a surprise party for her all so she could spoil the girl and RUB her GREAT relationship with Marinette into her competitions FACES! The competition however (and Adrien JustAfriend Agreste) have decided that they really aren't going down without a fight!

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[bunsndoofs]

Why Lumity Is Important to TOH

So recently, I saw an argument playing out in a comment section, in which one of the people involved states “why do we need luz and amity to get together so badly, just focus on having Luz become a witch”. So putting aside the whole “its Disney first proper form of queer relationships so yes its important” debate and ignoring the fact its even gay so anyone cant say “you only like it because its gay” Lumity is an integral part of the story and its theme. Mainly, one of its themes of taking your flaws and seeing them as a source of strength rather than weakness

Lets first analyze the very first episode, where we have Luz in the office after clearly messing up and releasing snakes in the school. Now this clearly isn’t supposed to be a positive thing, and of course her mother and the principal try and figure out how to help her. The issue with this though is the way they decide how to help her, they focus on trying to get rid of her creativity and energy in its entirety as well as try and enforce reality on her heavily. They see this flaw of her, and encourage her to erase it away using force to get rid of at once, all the while while ignoring the most positive element about this: her creativity. And while yes, it was what caused the issue. They don’t try and offer help to Luz other ways that maintain her creativity while allowing her to understand what she did was bad, they instead choose the option that gets rid of her flaw in its entirety. They lack the ability to see potential and growth and only see that flaws are an issue rather than something to use to better someone

This is countered when later in the boiling isles, Luz is allowed too see her flaw as something of a source of power. When shes there, everyone is quick to point out how shes human, and how that flaw weakens her from doing magic. instead Luz uses that very flaw to find new magic in the form of drawing out the spell and finds strength in that, which even is something that gives her advantage when facing the monster in “First Day”, and thus creates something out of the very title of being human that originally made her weak.

This is shown throughout the show with many characters, willows whole arc in episode 3 is about taking her weakness in abomination magic and using that to find that shed rather do plant magic. When King struggles with his relationship with Luz and in “Really Small Problem” when the friendship bracelet between them breaks, signifying the weakness and collapse in their relationship, he then uses that broken item to save everyone and then uses the broken pieces to share the bracelet between everyone. Hell the whole story of “Adventure in the Elements”, is Luz taking this area after it being deemed useless, and then using it to save everyone and gain even more power and strength

And then, there’s Amity. Amity who’s whole character is based around the fear of being perceived as weak. Her relationship with Willow was tarnished because she was “Too weak to be her friend”, and then there’s Grom where Amity’s whole fear was being to scared to fight her own battle. And this is where her relationship with Luz comes to play. Because Luz is the one who breaks down those walls and has Amity actually display weakness.

“Convention” displays this theme perfectly and Luz and Amity’s relationship, where the two try their hardest to be seen as the stronger one. This getting to the point where both Lilith and Eda get them to cheat, just because they want to establish superiority. And when they find out, Amity is displayed to be vulnerable completely, in one of the lowest moments on the show. She even states that Luz made her look like “Fool”, to say that even then, all she cares about is what others perceive her as and whether o not the crowd saw her as a coward. So she hammers down, continuing with her debate and shunning for Luz weakness of the fact shes human and how she isn't a witch. But then Luz accepts it to Amity’s surprise saying “I’m not a witch, but im training to be one” she shows optimism and proceeds to show off her light spell, in which Amity first comments on how its beginner magic. bUt she appreciates it BECAUSE Luz’s humanism, something that previously made her weak.

From there, its because Luz was there that Amity was able to show off the sides of her that she was ashamed of. She publicly shows affection towards her favorite book character in front of Luz, after in the beginning of the episode denying her reading for kids rather than admitting she enjoys it. Understanding Willow shows this further, where Amity goes from hiding her faults and mishaps in how she treated Willow to Luz, being heavily pessimistic because of the fact she caused all of this, and due to Luz’s motivation that “We can do this together,” she was able to confront her fears, ACCEPT that she was too weak, and while it didnt fix everything it bettered their relationship. Which, without Luz, might not have happened if Luz wasnt there to support her and believe in herself. And Wing it like Witches even shows Amity frustrations with her past mistakes as grudgby captain where Luz then gives her the opportunity to use that and better her past mistakes and use it to support the team rather than do hat makes her happy, even hurting her leg and letting Willow score.

And with Luz, the support and acceptance of weakness goes far as well. Luz complains about her queasiness and fear in grom, in which amity then goes on about how Luz is incredibly brave and is able to do stuff she never could.  And in Wing it like Witches Amity even states “She can be so stupid, which I LOVE” which just shows her support, even after Luz messes up, and hurt her teammates and is stuck in a bad situation, amity still believes in her and loves her REGARDLESS of her flaws.

They both need each other as opposite ends of a spectrum, amity is a character who is depicted as perfect and luz is constantly seen as a failure. But these two NEED each other, Amity so Luz can accept the positives in her her flaws to have more confidence, and Amity needs Luz to accept that its okay to be flawed and to accept who she is to become a better person. Lumity is needed in this regard, and just the plotline having Luz becoming a witch isnt possible because in order to grow physically in terms of power Luz needs to first grow emotionally, and Amity is the best character to do this through. They need each other, you cant just erase that and have the same show because their love is that important in the theme of self acceptance.

[cinefairy]

I view myself as a failure to be honest. A liar and someone who struggles to do what others do easily. When it comes to others, I assume they are better unless proven otherwise. I see myself as inferior to everyone like a baby that people have to boss around and have to tell what to do. I feel like I’m stupid sometimes. I see myself as someone who can never make up their mind and I’m just here to please people. I feel like I have to do something in order to win the affection and attention. I feel like when I enter a room, no one turns their head unless I’m doing something fun or exciting and even at that, they look at my face and lose interest. I feel like someone who guys would be like “Eh, she’s a 3/10. Why would you ever let someone that ugly play you?” But I have this false delusion in my head that I’m pretty but everyone else thinks the opposite. I feel like that friend in the movies that everyone knows is dumb and ugly, but continues to lies to themselves to escape reality. I just feel like I’m lying when I’m confident because I mean look at me? Do I really have the right to feel confident when I look the way I look and act the way I act. I feel like the bitch that people force themselves to be around so she doesn’t get hurt when she figures out no one actually likes her. I feel like loser who never wins even when they try. I feel like someone who tries and tries just to be inferior to everyone around them. I feel like someone who is scared and instead of succeeding in the end, they were right and they end up failing like they thought they would. I feel like someone who struggles with shit that comes easy to everyone else. I feel like someone that’s only made to be a stepping stone for others and is only mean to “defend themselves”, but deep down they are just insecure. The opposite of THAT BITCH or an IT GIRL. I can never see myself in that light. More of the best friend or girl that follows the it girl around and follows her every move knowing she will never amount to the true IT GIRL. I feel like everything and everyone is against me and whatever higher power that’s out there (God) is laughing at me for attempting manifestation knowing I used it as an escape from Christianity. I mean how can I be the god of reality when I’m me? I’m just tasha. I can’t be a god when I’m this pathetic. I couldn’t even manifest a simple eye change and it’s been a year LMAO. I’ve seen others manifest what I want in days. I feel like I’ve made up manifestation in my head and I’m trying to use it with no concrete evidence besides success stories to make me feel better about my horrible life. But even if it was real, I will fall out of it like I did with everything else. Like I did with trying to journal or trying to workout because I’ll end up failing and lying to everyone and telling them I succeed so I look good. I feel like someone who fails and fails and someone who the universe is against LMAO or whatever higher power there is. If it was for me, why haven’t I gotten what I wanted? If I’m a god, why do I feel the way I do about myself? If I’m a god, why do I look the way I do? I don’t capture the beauty I’ve always wanted. I have a long face and droopy eyes THATS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT ANYONE WANTS. And I know people will be like I wish I had your determination. No you don’t because it’s physically hurting me at this point. I keep failing and getting hurt and won’t take no until I finally snap and leave it forever. Until I snap and lie and tell others I finally succeeded. I can’t even decide on what I fucking what. What boss bitch doesn’t know what they want? My determination is all for nothing if I just end up failing and have to cover for myself by saying, “Oh yeah it totally worked out.” Ik self concept but what specifically do I affirm for self concept and how do I affirm it to make it feel natural?

trust me you’re not alone. ive had similar thoughts, ive had similar experiences, id recommend you ranting more, getting it all out because if you keep those emotions and feelings bottled in it will become worse.

work on your self concept first!! and to make it feel natural for you id recommend using words that you normally use on a daily basis. or complaining, complaining is rlly good too. we complain about bad things in life and we see how that comes into our reality..why not turn it around to something positive? “i hate how i look, i want to be like other girls” FUCK NO. change it to something like “i look goooddd way better than yesterday, other girls wanna be me lol thats why they dont turn their heads around they’re jealous” lol something like that idek. make it up as you go along!! make manifesting fun and normal for you, stop thinking affirming as a chore. have random daily convos with yourself on how you’re confident, love yourself etc. at first it might feel “unatural” but if you persist and persist and persist you think those thoughts automatically. affirm your self concept in areas which you feel are weaker so maybe for you it might be appearance, personality, self hatred/doubt. you deserve love, happiness, self love fill your mind with those, fill your mind with images (if you want) with all the things you love, your mind is like a house- make it as beautiful as you want and customise it!! and dont compare yourself to others tbh. it doesnt help at all. you are your own original beautiful person, who cares about the others, this is your reality isnt it? trust me you can do it. i believe in you..you actually have nothing to lose tbh. you have all this time to recreate yourself.

[improbus-ille-saevus]

Post #1: Relationship Patterns

okay im gonna annoy you a bit further so i completely get it if you hate my guts but i need to get this off my chest. obv ur not my friend or therapist or anything like that and you dont owe me anything, its just something i feel like i need to ask someone because i really need an answer.

something about me seems to seriously exhaust people and i cant figure out what. ik i sound really naive and stupid for not noticing something that apparently so obvious about myself but i seriously cant see it. maybe its my persistence and inability to let go of things/certain topics?? idk im in the right ball park but still really far away from figuring out the actual definite thing,,if that even exists,,theres something about me that makes it difficult to talk and i wish i could stop. this has happened time and time again and again and again with multiple different people over and over and over again. first impressions are neutral or good -> we get closer, things get better -> this disgusting part of my personality rears its ugly head and ruins the relationship. idk whats wrong with me in the first place so how am i supposed to fix it?

im not even talking about the whole "hating the world and hurting other people" thing because thats separate and very much a joke even if you dont believe me. im moreso talking about how the flow of that conversation went.

ur prob wondering why im asking this from you of all people when we dont really know each other that well at all but the thing is, when relationships end, people really just want to be over with it asap and move on so you never really get a chance to just like sit down with the person and like have a proper discussion about the relationship; what went wrong, who did what, what couldve been done better by which person etc... you just never get to review and reflect on everything that happened bc you just dont care for each other anymore.  and since that conversation never happens, neither person *explicitly* learns from the relationship. everything is just inferred from the reactions of the other person, "oh when i did this, they seemed to like it so i should do more of that in my next relationship" and obviously this is a shit method of improving yourself because you're operating off of unreliable data.

And that is exactly why im asking you, selfish as it may be.

something about the way i talk really irks people and i need to know what it is so i can stop doing it. a long time i ago i thought it was because i made a lot of self deprecating jokes and that started making people uncomfortable. i never really understood why bc a lot of other people made the same type of jokes but no one ever had any problem with that. (when i tried to have this "Reflection" conversation with those friends they mentioned that it was only uncomfortable when i did it bc they knew i was being somewhat serious,,but isnt all humour based in reality to some degree anyways,,idk). and now im seeing the same thing reprising now, where i make a joke similar in vain of what amy says but for some reason its only weird when i do it,,,and i dont know why. anyways, to fix this whole low-self-esteem joke thing, i decided to go in the opposite direction, i'll be so overly (and obviously) egotistical and proud that it'll put everyone around me at ease because who doesnt love confidence right? clearly, as you pointed out,,,still does not work (for me). because now instead of coming off as small and pathetic i come off as big and arrogant. this puzzles me yet again because it seems to work for girls really well; when you know ur conventionally attractive and youre confident in yourself and you say you are the most important thing in the world (regardless of weather you genuinely believe it with your heart or not), it just works and everything is fine. why didnt it work out for me though? did i do something wrong? i still don't get it.

in the aforementioned previous reflection conversations people mentioned that my straightforwardness and open willingness to talk about unconventional topics (sex, human behaviour, feelings, etc...) put them off at first and made them really uncomfortable but over time they came to expect it from me and it wasn't that bad. I don't know what to do with this information,,is this quality about me a good thing or a bad thing and should i change it? an impossible question for you to answer yet i ask it regardless. I feel like I'm not a particularly funny person even when people tell me otherwise so i tend to default to these super serious topics which i've noticed really brings down the energy of the room and i feel super shitty for doing it but idk what it is about me that does it so idk how to fix it. even when talking about lighthearted topics it just doesnt feel authentic and i mess it consistently. i dont want people to always be serious around me but thats the type of environment i end up creating.. im not even sure if this is something that needs to be fixed,,?

I'm stuck between wanting to change myself to be a better person and staying true to who i am,,,whoever that is.

anyways, i went from hating myself too much to -> loving myself too much -> and now we're in the hating the world phase. to reiterate these are all just failed attempts at humour where i seem to keep missing the mark. again, ive other people do this style so much better than me and they make it work yet my hollow imitations cannot compare. they dont hold the same weight and despite the over-the-top absurdity, it garners criticism and distaste (as exhibited by you and everyone else there). so,,what did i do wrong? how can i fix it? these two questions weigh on my mind on every relationship that ends against my will (mutual ones too ig, bc in that case i genuinely want the other person to be better as well but i digress).

throughout all of these phases however, one thing has always prevailed and thats been the fact that i constantly self-sabatoge myself by making me, or my character, the butt of the joke (maybe this is the key, the answer to what ive been searching for, im not sure). you saw it today, there was the nurse thing, and countless other examples. i put myself in a demeaning/embarrassing position because it makes people laugh! and it brings up the energy which as i mentioned has been one of my major goals. yea it might not be the most conventional way to do it but its all i've known and its whats worked for me. is this a bad thing? should i stop it? how would i even go about accomplishing that when its so ingrained in my personality? if i were to remove it who would i become? how would i make people like me?

all of these questions and these *things* i've painted out for you are things that people generally dont think about, but i do. i overthink a fuckton and i've been thinking about this shit for 19 years so i cant just pretend i dont have these thoughts and just be the casual chill dude that everyone gets along with. that person thats the "glue" to every friend group, i envy that person a ton and that has never been me; ive only recently realized i do actually want to be that person but idek how to start on that journey. i cant sit here and pretend i dont care what people think of me, i genuinely didnt care for a long time and that was really attractive to some people but now i do care. and it is exhausting. i care about how i look, how i speak, how i come across, i care very much about how i talk, the things i talk about and other's perception of me. im not sure i care about this to an unhealthy degree but i've decided that i do in fact care now. thats why im here i guess. i wouldnt be asking if i didnt care.

but maybe i care too much? as you can probably guess by now, all my relationships (btw when i use this term i refer to SO's, friends, and just generally people who arent aquaintences in my life) have been relatively short. i dont have any childhood friends, i have moved around quite a bit, and ive just been in that cycle i mentioned for the majority of my life. maybe my inexperience with long-term relationships contributes to this but obviously i do not know what i dont know. anyways, since i move from one relationship to the next sequentially, with about a handful of relationships at a time, i tend to hold onto them very tightly. you might think this odd since most kids who moved often eventually developed thick skin and placed a certain degree of emotional distance from even their closest humans because they feel like at some point it could all be ripped away from them. this is normal. this is what most people did. i did not. for some godforsaken reason i went the opposite way. instead of emotionally distancing myself, i go into each relationship headfirst with open arms and nothing to hold back (now ur starting to see why i overshare so much). i know i'm going to turn them off, i know im going to get hurt, but i do it anyways bc that connection is a high. having someone who truly understands you on such a foundational level is fucking intoxicating, and once that relationship is taken away from me, i must search fervorously for the next one. this *blind rage* of sorts obviously sours things and destroys the precautions i had in place to not repeat my patterns but i guess i just can't help myself. anyways, once the initial surge wanes and the rose-tinted glasses come off the relationship stagnates and it is my fault and i dont know what to do. as you can probably guess by now im  *bit* dramatic with my life; so what do we do in dramas when things get stale? we start some ACTION! i will be spontaneous and do/say weird things or try and push the relationship further by getting to know them on an even deeper level;;;;i'll do anything to convince them (and i guess myself?) that i am not boring. sometimes it works well and they reciprocate and it goes really well, or theyre turned off and pull back. thats really unfortunate. now we're at a crossroads, let me walk you down both roads bc this clearly isnt long enough already!

Path 1: they pull back see at this point any reasonable person who would recognize the situation would probably just sit back and let things return to normal and continue the relationship with a safe and healthy boundary. not me. i notice them pulling back and i get fucking terrified. i dont know if its permanent or temporary or what idk it just freaks the fuck out of me. so what do i do? i go even deeper because i dont want to let them go. i dont want to go through the pain of losing another person remember that shit hurts really fucking bad so i will do everything in my power to ensure that this relationship does not end. as you know by now, i dont shy away from these topics that really should be left alone so what do i do? i get confrontational. i ask them what went wrong, what did i do, how can i make it better, how can i make me better etc.... This obviously (to you and other normal people perhaps, not me tho) has the opposite affect and turns them off even more and the relationship ends and my questions stay unanswered yet again.

Path 2: the reciprocate (oh god im doing paths i rlly am an npc :sob: ) omg they reciprocated! this is great! so fantastic! i'm going to keep this person close so they never leave me and hurt me. i'll always have someone who i share that integral bond with and i can never let that go, its so precious i have to protect it, i have to protect them. i get clingy,,,*really really clingy*. this is not a good look. obviously it turns them off. but they love me as much as i love them....or do they? who likes who more? who is more invested in who? who will be more hurt when the relationship ends? the relationship will end at some point, we're not gonna be this close when we're 80,,, i should prepare for that. These thoughts plague my mind. i set everything up so that i am not hurt and appear okay. they text me, i do not respond. on imessege, ig, snap, even tiktok, i ensure that they are the last person who talked so that my monkey brain experiences a false sense of superiority like i was the better one who didnt need them. They reciprocated my love for them and i respond by destroying them [im just now realizing as im writing this that maybe the evil, destroying people thing wasnt a joke after all lmao. maybe it still is; its prob some combination of both]. Anyways, i set everything up to end smoothly so this means i should be able to have my perfect trademarked "Reflection Conversation" right? wrong. at this point, theyre too tired of me, im sick of them. the conversation might happen, it might not. even if it does it isnt satisfactory. they dont put their full effort it, why should they? the relationship is over right? why try? they dont get feedback, they dont give it to me. we continue with our lives doomed to make the same mistakes over and over and over again until someone points it out for us,,or they dont and we're doomed to be the creatures of our own ignorance destined to never truly connect with another human on that *true* level and actually have it fucking last.

Thats why im here. i need someone to point it out for me i think. because i won't magically realize all the ways im fucked up by myself. i understand that its pretty fucking dumb to ask this task from someone like you when even people who loved me weren't able to do it. if you take the time to read this and actually provide guidance for someone who's basically a stranger, I thank you. if not, well i cant really blame you.

thanks, and sorry for pissing you off yet again. im clearly very talented at this so i need to get my ego boost from somewhere

P.S. this ended up being wayyyyyyyy longer than i thought it would sorryy :3 i think once i started writing i just got a bit carried away and just went all out. its a bit messy and all over the place but its from the heart (or lack thereof lol. apologies once again for the length but i hope you do read it.

[whiterbone-a]

i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome.  take a seat and thank you for joining me.  if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting.  they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun.  also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder.  he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should.  hes very patient but very honest.  a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another.  i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly?  theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no.  it’s funny now that i think about it,  shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him.  he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou?  there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable.  i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his.  on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship.  hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself.  hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance.  his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this.  he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh.  you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can!  they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell.  i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this.  i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego;  to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc.  he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change?  absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards.  like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass.  tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much.  getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations.  gojou?  not so much.  nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement.  gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time.  it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village.  hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind.  thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait.  i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about.  if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually.  i can’t say, i can’t say!  just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship!  this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it!  i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

[wraithxwitch]

Daenerys took shelter in IT delusion to survive her trauma. She literally had no desire of thought about getting back IT, she couldn't care less in the beginning but after she was sold and raped, I think Daenerys held on to last piece of her life, something Visery planted in her head, to ignore what she was going through. It's an assumption but her relationship with Drogo was literally so weird, I don't even think grrm knew what he was writing with making Daenerys fall in love(?) and desire a throne she never cared about. There's too much to about her whole journey in book one but in the end she's a character written by a weirdo pedo man who fantasies about children getting raped.

i hear you, anon. you make some points, especially the last one. like, everything in any given series is down to the author, and grrm really didn’t need to do half of the horrible shit that he did to characters in order to get them to where they are (e.g. dany, sansa, etc).

my short answer is that: yes, her desire for the IT develops but the seeds are there at the start. yes, she’s traumatised and her way to agency is having power. even after her abusers are dead, and she can effectively do what she wants, she still goes after the irone throne. but she’s not driven by any kind of compassionate desire to help the smallfolk and rule fairly. her motivations are, to put it bluntly, selfish. 

i’m gonna put my longer answer under a read more. (it’s kinda all over the place and i definitely forgot some things but hey ho):

trauma is different for each victim, it affects everyone in an individual way. i don’t think that her trauma is an excuse for her actions later on, i’m not saying this is what you’re saying btw, i’m just saying (cause i know some people do).

with dany, i agree that her desire for the throne developed and wasn’t there from the get go, but that’s just part of her arc. like, yeah sure, right at the start, in like her first few chapters her only real desire she voices (to us) is to go home. she’s still very young and doesn’t remember westeros, so the only home she knows is ‘the house with the red door’. in her words it’s the only childhood she’s ever known. she felt she was safest there. she has absolutely no agency at the start, she’s powerless and at the mercy of viserys (and she starts out scared of him). so it’s understandable that she wants to just go home, but also understandable that she wants power, because having power means having agency and not being at the mercy of anyone else.

she obv isnt introduced with these fantasies of the IT from the get go, bc these things need to develop in stories. i also find much of the first book to be an intro to the world, it puts all the main characters where they need to when shit kicks off. even her monologue is passive to start with, as if her pov is a window to viserys. but like this is like, the start of her villain origin story in a way i guess. *shrug* i think she does from the get go also believe that the IT does belong to the targs and that they were wronged, i just don’t think she immediately believes it’s HERS to take, because she has spent her life being the younger sibling of viserys. but like, i do think that in her chapters the targs are introduced as villains (mostly through the comments of the dothraki characters, e.g. the way they talk about the dragons and the fact that it is CLEAR that nobody back in westeros is waiting for their return).

her relationship with drogo is obv problematic af, i think that maybe grrm wrote it in as a way to start to give her a taste of agency and sense of power .. maybe? like she doesn’t have power in reality with drogo but you can see as her chapters go on that she’s starting to make decisions of her own (to sway drogo, etc) and she starts to talk back to viserys and even states that she doesn’t know why she was ever scared of him (paraphrased ofc). she was also scared of the dothraki at first, it was a fear of the unknown and i think that if she conquers something, it’s hers, so she can’t fear it anymore. also, she figures out if she pleases drogo -> she gets more sway on things. but again, lemme state, that relationship is toxic AF, i’m just trying to see how it fits in with dany’s arc. 

she also takes comfort in being a targ. the same way that arya has her ‘fear cuts deeper than swords’ line, dany has her ‘i am the blood of the dragon’ chant. and the seeds for her campaign for the IT are there in the first book. SHE’s the one who’s gifted dragon eggs for starters, NOT viserys. in a way, i think the point of having it be his dream to start with is to tell us “viserys was too weak, he couldn’t do it, but dany can”. also at the point in which her confidence starts to change, she is also having dragon dreams. and they become pleasant to her, she even thinks they heal her aches and wounds while she’s travelling with the dothraki. she voices to jorah that viserys will never take them home and at around that point her visions of home turn into king’s landing -> of it burning. this is before viserys and drogo die. it’s foreshadowing of her story to come.

she does enjoy having power (and you can’t blame her to an extent, it makes her feel safer). her chapters at the start do show that she is meant to be the one going after the throne, not her brother. how she gets to going on that path (trauma, viserys, etc) is just part of her journey. though i don’t think viserys specifically planted it in her head, given the dream thing and the dragon eggs. she wants a home, she doesn’t want to be at the whim of others. but the thing is that she isn’t driven by her compassion for the small folk even at the start. when she talks about slaves in her first few chapters she only shows discomfort at it when she’s the one in the collar (her wedding) and there’s of course the events with mirri. there’s an interesting contrast between her and sansa, who also wanted to be queen from the start, but she wanted to be the opposite of cersei (and dany) despite her trauma. she wanted to rule through love, not fear. 

even after drogo and viserys are long dead, and she’s free to live her life how she wants (she has dragons and she doesn’t need the IT, lbr), she doesn’t give up on going for the IT. she likes power and she isn’t motivated by her desire to help people, she wants to help herself. i think her trauma is in part an explanation for her actions, but not an excuse. traumatised characters can also be villains. 

i went off on a tangent here, sorry about that. uhh, this is actually really interesting tbh, i might just re-read her chapters in book 1 & 2 to explore this more lol. 

[weeb-writings]

alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it. 

special thanks to: @sarido275​ for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations- 

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...  

i used a couple websites: a b 

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-  

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like 

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations 

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way) 

okay lets start with the “basics” 

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick 

omg i what am i writing 

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~” 

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say 

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!” 

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them- 

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them 

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto) 

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye- 

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-) 

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much 

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second 

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face 

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty” 

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty” 

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty” 

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams 

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships) 

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me” 

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me” 

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence” 

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya” 

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this 

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!! 

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words” 

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :( 

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all- 

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya” 

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything. 

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything” 

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ???? 

and so he explains what it means, and 

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase 

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma* 

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku* 

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel) 

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil 

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is 

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person 

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game, 

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals 

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere 

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel” 

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still- 

you know what i mean 

but anyways, everyone looks at her 

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil 

and theyre all like ?? 

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should- 

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel 

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy” 

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister) 

she’s like muttering under her breath, 

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“ 

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya. 

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns 

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look- 

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-): 

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like 

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev 

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

[lilsadbabygirl]

three months.

It’s been three months since our break up now. I would like to say that I’m better, I’m over it and sometimes I think and feel like I am but then you come back into my mind and it hurts so much again. I miss you so much. I miss feeling loved. I miss being happy.

There’s so many things that randomly pop into my mind about our breakup but I never want to write them down because I don’t want to be reminded of it so much. One day a month would be enough, but reality is...I think about you daily. I would go to work and be fine all day and sometimes even a whole 24 hours or I would go to work and have a great day and then at night I would be reminded of our conversations and our love or I would go to work and have a great day and then someone at work says something that reminds me of you and I would go to the bathroom and cry or I would not go to work at all because the pain of missing you is just too much.

I thought about your words again, that I shouldn’t keep myself so isolated and get out of my comfort zone and talk to people. Trust me..I tried. I had people that seemed like they wanted to get to know me but I couldn’t open myself up to them or be interested in them like they deserve it, I don’t want to waste their time. So I tried reaching out to my best friend about it. I just want to vent to her sometimes and cry but she’s met someone and I dont wanna be a burden, besides she always tells me that I should get over you and it’s not healthy for me which is the opposite of what I want to her, what someone should tell me. I have never felt as happy and loved and confident as I was with you in my life...so shouldn’t people tell me that they hope I get you back into my life? Do they not want the best for me? Because how could they want the best for me and happiness for me if they want me to live without you?

So as you can see, talking to people and opening up to them isnt going as planned. Though one of my friends had asked me recently how long it has been since my last relationship, she doesnt know about you, she was disappointed when I said it was recently. I thought about telling her but I’m afraid she’ll tell me to get over you as well. I don’t want to hear that.

At your recent text, I felt a different energy coming from you, a better one. I hope you’re doing better, you deserve happiness. I hope that means you’ve moved on and that we can talk normally again soon because I miss you so much in my life. I’ve decided I want to take a step or two in getting better as well. I started a podcast about my thoughts and everything really. i doubt anyone will listen to it, which is fine because it’s about me and I do that for me.

I also reread our conversations recently and came across you telling me to just visit you and I want to so badly, but I don’t know where you study at exactly, I should have asked that when we still were and I don’t even know if you’re still there or if you’re back home. I wanted to write you a letter too but what if you don’t live at that adress anymore?

I just want you to talk to me and I want us to tell each other every detail about our days again.

I’m also been having some of the worst days in years again but I can’t talk about that to anyone because its associated with you and well, people don’t want to heart about the heartbreak or you anymore but I want to talk about you because you are the light of my life. I’ve had a 3 hour crying breakdown at my mom’s birthday party and people gave me attention, obviously because I was sobbing so hard, but I didn’t want attention. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be able to text you and I wanted you to be there. I wanted to be able to have a friend be there for me saying that it’s okay. But that was nit the case. I was crying and crying and I couldn’t stop because it hurt so much. It still hurts so much everyday.

But I’ve also had some of my happiest days this past month because I’ve been to Disneyland, I thought about if I might run into you there..I didn’t, but you know I love Disneyland so I was happy there. And I’ve had some of the happiest days this month thinking about how happy we were. And I didn’t always cry thinking about that. Which I think is a tiny improvement.

[you-did-well-moon]

Who Do You Think You are? |Monsta x 8th Member Au|

Monsta x boys X Arslyn/ Other trainees x Arslyn/ More Changkyun X Arslyn

Summary: Arslyn and the other boys find out there will be a new trainee added to the show. Arslyn had already been a part of the show. The other boys dont react too well, but how will Arslyn react?

Type: fluff/angst get ready boys

No Trigger warnings yet

A/N: Hey this is my first time posting a piece of my writing on this website. This is an original character of mine. I want to see how this post is received, and if received well I will put a whole description for her and I will continue the series. Please enjoy.

My eyes flitted around the room taking in the sight of all the boys who had practically raised me. My heart felt light seeing them laughing and their eyes shining after all the tears that had been shed. Losing Minkyun had been no easy blow. Thankfully, K.Will had given us a chance to escape the cruel consequences of the reality show by treating us to dinner.

I had been seated between Hyungwon and Yoonho. My outfit was quite simple. A black beanie adorning my head with my soft brown locks in a loose braid, and my bangs framing the side of my face. Big black glasses were sitting on top of my nose. I had a grey over sized hoodie with a black jacket that was now hanging on the back of my chair. Black ripped tights fit snuggly around my legs keeping the cold at bay. The whole outfit was paired with a pair of black dirty high top Converse.

Even though we weren't standing on a stage in front of him, I couldnt bring myself to feel comfortable around K.Will. Minkyun's face kept popping up anytime I made eye contact with him, so I settled with only looking at his forehead. I did my best to push the thought of him packing alone back at the dorms out of my head, and I let myself fall in a state of rest. I leaned back in my chair, and I smiled and laughed with the boys as I ate.

It seemed almost like a dream. I hadn't been able to feel this at ease since before the reality show when we had all just been innocent trainees. Now every night was filled with restlessness and doubt. Every morning was filled with a rushed awakening, and it was spent in the practice room. It seemed like a constant cycle of practicing, producing, and executing the missions.

There was no time for sleeping or eating. There was no time for sitting back, and letting yourself drift off. There was no time to be human anymore. I had to debut.

Hyungwon seemed to notice my distracted state and nudged me. I stepped out of my head, and I snapped my attention to him. He raised an eyebrow, but I simply smiled and shook my head. It seemed to be enough for him since he went back to talking with Hyunwoo and Hoseok. Just for assurance he took my hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go of it.

We ate and continued to laugh and tease each other. The atmosphere tensed for a little when K.Will pulled out the ranking cards. He gave them out with me being in third place behind Hoseok, but in front of Hyunwoo. My eyes fixed on Hyunwoo. Only worry plaguing my mind.

Everyone had given him the title of leader without him asking for it. Now whatever team he was put on, he would carry the hopes and insecurities of his other partners along with his own. Both times his team had lost someone, and I could tell it was taking a toll on him. I could practically see the words "It should have been me" written across his forehead.

I couldn't remember the last time I had seen the smile where his eyes scrunch up, and his cheeks puff up. He was a quiet man, but he was sensible, and he had the natural instinct of protecting others. He had a big figure, but he had an even bigger heart. At first, he had been awkward but the one day I started playing with his hands before a mission it seemed to have broken down the walls surround him. While playing with his hands, telling him all my doubts, and wishing him good luck he had softened. He seemed to look out for me a lot more since that day.

My heart hurt for him, and I was about to call his name to atleast try to make him laugh when I was stopped by K.Will addressing us.

"Enjoying your meals?". A chorus of "yes" rang around the room while my mouth stayed shut. A nervous feeling settling down on me.

"Something completely unexpected has happened. At where you are...this could be your biggest obstacle". My eyes widened as my breath got caught in my throat. My hands seemed to fidget with the cuts in my tights as I took in everyone's reactions. Eyes were either widened or narrowed, and the room had gone silent. What could be worse than the pain of having to watch as one of our close confided friends and brother got taken away from us.

"Regardless to the program, I think this is almost natural to happen in the process of becoming an idol group." he continued. Natural? Had someone been in a scandal? Was someone getting so much hate they had to get eliminated by default? At this point my hands were shaking, and it felt like my heart was being squeezed by an ice cold hand. I quickly took the hands of Hyungwon and Yoonho in mine with a tight grip. Their hands tightening around mine with hyungwon rubbing my knuckles with the pad of his thumb for comfort.

"I came to realize we dont have enough rappers. 3 of 10 trainees are rappers". I looked at the boys and quickly realized it was true. The vocalist outnumbered the rappers by a huge amount. I was one of the vocalist. Were they going to eliminate one of the vocalist to even it out more? My mouth felt dry, and my eyebrows had furrowed. I licked my lips in anticipation. My throat felt like there was something blocking any air coming in, and my chest felt heavy.

Was it the opposite. Would they add- No! They wouldn't. Right? This would create chaos, but at the same time an icy liquid ran through my veins with the thought of having to lose someone else. They wouldn't be as cruel as to-

"We'll be adding a new trainee to NO MERCY" My chest heaved with a silent gasp. I forgot. This was a show. A survival one. They didn't really care about us. This was about ratings and the money. That's what we were worth. That's what had defined us since the very beginning. They would be cruel because to them we're simply their puppets. It was sad to admit, but they were the ones with the strings.

Both grips on my hands tightened making me snatch my hands away. Looking down I saw the red spots quickly disappear until my skin was back to it's normal olive tone. I looked at them, but they were all staring at K.Will. My eyes wandered to all the boys as looks of uneasiness were quickly transforming into glares.

I couldn't keep my head up. I looked down at my hands shaking in my lap as tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. I felt numb. All feelings had gone and now I just felt empty. After all that? Tears shed, sweat dropping, and uncontrolled sobs getting choked out. After all the pressure, and the heaviness of our choices put on our shoulders. They were going to add someone else?

I could feel the bile coming up the throat as my head felt light and the room became blurry. The silence defeaning, but my ears were ringing.

"I'll bring him over."

What? A small scoff escaped my mouth but went unnoticed by our senior. My face was still hidden, but my head managed to shake. My nose scrunched, and I pursed my lips. He really wanted to rub it in huh?

The empty feeling in my chest was replaced with a nasty hot feeling. Anger and hate. Two emotions I despised, but I couldn't help it. My head snapped up, and I managed to make eye contact with the older man. My eyes narrowing, and all the curse words imaginable repeating like a chant over and over again. He held my heated gaze.

" I hope you guys say hello to each other." The atmosphere seemed to darken more than it already had. "Now?" Hyungwon asked with a disbelieve look in his face. I could tell he was incredibly annoyed by the look in his widened eyes.

" Yes, he's coming to the restaurant. I'll bring him in" with that last hate inducing sentence he got up and left the room. We wouldn't have any time to prepare. We wouldn't have any time to clear out our minds of any hurtful things. He was hitting us with a surprise attack, that would change the directions of our paths that had seemed so clear. I bought my hands to my face, and hid behind them.

I hadn't met this guy, but the only thing I could focus on was the crippling emotion of hate. It grasped and weaved it's way into the deepest crevices of my mind. I looked up. Jooheon had put his turtle neck up so that it covered half his face. Others were staring to do the same. As if it would help them block any occurence of the situation. It gave them a mask to hide behind, so that the new guy wouldn't have any idea. We didn't know his name, and we were already thinking of strangling him.

At that thought a little voice seemed to make it through the haze. This isnt right. It's not his fault. My head started to pound. My heart was starting to be pulled into two different directions, and I had no idea what to feel. I felt like an outsider inside my own body. Frustration and pity probed and poked at me. The one minute of absolute hate was slipping away even though I tried grasping at it.

No.

I had a right to feel this. Do you?. I could feel my body slumping into the chair with my head resting at an uncomfortable position. It was giving up. My body was giving up. My mind was giving up. My heart was giving up. I was giving up.

"Will he be as good as kwanji, Yoosu, or Minkyun?" I recognized Gunhee's voice. I wanted to speak up. We have to give him a chance. He doesn't deserve this. He could be as good, or he could be worse. But we can't do this. We can't take out our anger on him. He's human....just like us.

I couldn't find it in myself to speak out. My usually clear and strong voice had abandoned me. All that was left was a meak broken sound.

Coward.

I opened my mouth in a weak attempt to get air into my lungs and clear the haze that was still clouding my eyes. My eyes closing and opening again. As I heard two pair of footsteps coming down the hall I let them close , and allowed my head to slump.

One minute...that's all I need.

Having any distastasteful feelings for a stranger went completely against my morals and beliefs. It went against who I was as a person. That person that had been hell bent on detesting another human being was not me.

"Hello I'm I.M and I'm 20 years old. I'm a rapper. Nice to meet you". A deep wavering voice filled the past silence of the room, but I ignored it.

I let any negative feelings I had housed slip through my fingers. Holding a grudge against someone one for the sole reason of existing wasn't me.

" The rest of you get to work now and prepare to perform even better than you did yesterday". K.Will's parting words made no effect on me as I continued with my eyes closed.

Loathing someone for wanting nothing but to do what they love and live for isn't me.

"oh gosh I feel sick" my mind wavered a bit at Minhyuk's harsh words.

Tearing another human being down instead of helping them stand up was not me. Becoming the exact connection to their insecurities and using those doubt filled voices against them was not me. Leaving a terrified vulnerable human being alone and without a hand to hold was not me.

"We can't really welcome you right now. And to think you replaced him..."

Trying to justify something I know is wrong for the sake of evading any guilt and avoiding looking bad was not me.

"We can't be all that nice to you."

"I can."

My eyes snapped open as I raised my head high. My voice back to the effective and stable tone I had always known it to be.

I am Ceol Arslyn. Not lower than anyone else, but not better either. Just human.

Everyone turned their attention to me. Some with looks of betrayal, and some with disbelief. There was one. One that looked at me with eyes full of hope, and he happened to be the one sitting directly in front of me with a pale face and his lips set in a frown. His eyes flicking down and up every so often with fidgeting hands.

"Who do you think you are..." I let my tone get clipped, and I watched as his eyes widened and a certain strain settled on his face. "to come here and act so horrified". I let my body become at ease with a bright smile pulling at my lips as I stood up.

"You look like you just saw your mom get our her shoe when you talked back because dude samee" I made my way around the table and took in his reaction. He visibly relaxed and looked at me with a funny kind of amusement.

I dragged Hoseok out of the seat next to his and let myself fall on to it. "why are you so nervous hm?" I looked at him and saw as he shifted in his seat. He looked up at me, but quickly let his gaze drop. He responded with a shrug and a mumbled "I don't know".

"You don't know why you're feeling? Uh that's deep but save it for when we're in the studio, and Jooheon a long with Gunhee start googling words that rhyme". I saw the two mentioned men sit up, but I payed no mind as I offered him my hand.

When he took it, and I gave his hand a little shake I continued "I think we should start with real names first. I'm Ceol Arslyn. Vocalist, dancer, and producer. But you can call me Slyn." With a nervous twitch in his eye he cleared his throat

"Im Changkyun" I gave his hand a squeeze and with a soft tone "Nice to meet you. Rapper huh? I look forward to seeing what you can do with that deep voice of yours but for now lets settle for getting to know each other..." as I finished my sentence I gave a pointed look to Jooheon.

I looked at everyone waiting for then to introduce themselves, but everyone stayed quiet. My nervousness at their reactions was soon changing into annoyance. Beside me Changkyun once again shifted in his seat.

Fine. Looks like I'm doing all the work.

Letting the smile return to my face, I put my hand on Changkyun's chin lifting it up so that he was looking at Jooheon. I let my hand drop and lift in Jooheon's direction. "That's Jooheon. Rapper and producer. Just a little warning he's number one right now, but he's really not that scary. Don't let that stupid glare fool you. He's just scared becaue he has some real competition now" my smile widened as both Jooheon and Gunhee narrowed their eyes at me.

Going in order around the table I introduced everyone. I threw in little jabs here and there because they were literally about leave him on his own to figure everything out. I almost did too.

As I finished introducing everyone I didn't see the soft look Changkyun was giving me. He had braced himself, and had put up walls while on his way over here. Ready to be hated and despised, but here you were. Your petite stature that barely came up to his chin with your big eyes and glasses that kept sliding down your nose. You were willing to risk the friendship you had with the other guys, and who you had known for years...just for his sake. For someone you had barely met. He felt like his heart had gotten lighter, and it was easier to keep his head up. You had risked everything...just to do what you thought was right. Your soft orbs filled with a certain kind of light that made him feel comfortable enough to make eye contact with the others. You made him feel safe, and whatever came his way he knew he would have you to lean on. It was a soft mundane blanket of calmness and peace that covered him being around you.

You suddenly stood up making the chair screech as it moved across the floor. "I think we're done here. I'm ready to go home, and pretend I'm doing something productive. You guys can keep eating, but I'll be waiting in the van." I got the jacket I had left on the chair, and let a grin take over my face when I saw Changkyun get up.

"You coming with me?" A quick nod while shrugging on his jacket answered me. I waited for him to walk up to my side before I started walking out if the room throwing a peace sign at the table of boys who had stayed silent. They had scoffed and glared at me. It hurt. Of course it hurt. Having someone like Hoseok look at me with disgust made my breath hitch. I had to remind myself that Changkyun would have gone through worse.

I hope when this all over, they won't hate me.

Changkyun and I walked in silence. Our footsteps echoing around the hall as we walked towards the exit. Leading him into one of the vans, I chose to get in the very back seats. Changkyun sat beside me with his hands grasping at each other. I took a deep breath in.

"So, what's your favorite color?"

[cocona]

will march be a good month for me ☀️

hi hi !! here r the cards i pulled: the son of pentacles, the 4 of pentacles in reverse, the chariot in reverse (7), and judgement (20). disclaimer: this isnt a prediction, this is the energy around the following weeks based on what energy youre currently feeding into ur life n ur reality !! ok !! u can always change it up !!

i think this will be a month of overcoming things for you and having a lowkey redemption ark, as youre gonna find out things abt urself and others that will force you to move forward.

1. first week: the son of pentacles. u feel like uve reached a point in ur life where u want to stay calm and stable. but this month isnt when youre gonna find that. hm. u might go into this month with a mindset of wanting to achieve serenity and might even be stubborn with such a mindset ! but youre gonna be mainly chill next week i feel ! this is abt money i feel !

2. the second week: 4 of pentacles in reverse. this is the card of making Big acquisitions and letting go of negative people. the opposite of greed and keeping things to yourself, money wise! you will feel generous and might want to treat others. this is also a card tht indicates letting go of toxic bonds, moving forward and being kind to urself on that aspect. but it can also mean that youve been wasting ur money a lot and spending recklessly and telling you to check on that and to fix it. you’ll know when the time comes. however from the following cards i feel like you’ll go overboard w ur spendings,,, hm . love wise it means tht ure letting go of ur fears n allowing urself to get softer and to melt into a relationship !!! 

3. third week: the chariot (7) in reverse. this is generally the card of backtracking and being lost ... it shows that uve become the passenger of ur own life n have stopped driving urself.. if u dnt hold the horse it’s gonna do wtv it wants !! this means tht u might feel low in ur shoes, frustrated, aggressive, tired, or mentally overwhelmed n exhausted.. or like u act boastful and rush into things. if a decision comes up during that time, force urself to think it through.. i feel like im not picking up on sth but .. uhh i got another card to clarify it and i pulled the 10 of swords. p violent imagery: an ox with nine swords stuck in its back and a tenth one traversing its head by entering thru one eye n exiting thru the other,, the 10 of swords means that youve let yourself get stabbed in the back or that uve reached exhaustion. yes now tht makes sense. i think this will be a time where you will feel exhausted and thats why youd be aggressive and tired, and you might want to give up on sth thts v important to you because you feel negative energy from it. 10 of swords is also the card of badmouthing, of someone talking trash abt u and plotting ur fall,, so watch ur back ! this will be an especially exhausting week for u mentally as you’ll be saying goodbye to sth, and might feel like ure at a dead end for ur projects. at tht time, remember that after reaching the end of sth, u can start sth new ! i pulled the new moon card from my moonology oracle, which means tht ure gonna be starting sth new (and not starting over)!!! 

4. fourth week: the jugement (20). ok the judgement card is one of my favourite ones cos i usually associate it with a cheerful situation. it’s forgiving yourself and others, cleaning up ! it’s accepting yourself for who you are, accepting tht u can have falls and such.. this is the card of apology, and letting go of fear. as you may know, the month of march ends at the beginning of aries season ! it’s time to feel that energy: confidence, trust, innocence, spontaneity ! it seems like when the month will come to an end, what you’ll have gone through will help you to find the correct direction to find ur real purpose. and you’ll feel relieved. you’ll have to forgive yourself and other and stop keeping up petty arguments and excuses.. yes ! this is what im getting. this is a very positive, calm, neutral energy. when looking at it, i feel like like laughing out of relief, like i found out sth that is super comforting and simplifies my life, which means tht i dont need to keep useless drama alive. this is abt u though, and this is what you’ll aspire to do at that time n tht u shld do. this is also the card of receiving good news !!

if u want a deeper reading by someone whos much more skilled than me u shld check out shonnetta’s monthly pick a card for march !! n i highly suggest u to follow her to have a weekly forecast..!

[forestsagess]

If you don’t mind me asking, what do you think makes chrobin work so well?

That’s a thought provoking question.

I’m not even sure I’m properlyconveying my thoughts here. I thought long and hard on it. I lookedat my own notes. I wrote, deleted, and wrote again. So here, aftermuch editing, is a mini-essay of character development ramblings foryou! Read below!

It should be acknowledged that Robinis, in some ways, a form of self-expression for the players. As theavatar, players are free to impress themselves on the plot and fillin the gaps for Robin’s personality. So for each fan, they candevelop their own private reasons why such a relationship formed asit did! Every Chrobin pairing has it’s own unique moments that makeit work in their respective Outrealm.

Since you are asking my personalopinion, I based most of my reasoning off of key elements I saw inthe narrative to point out why these two work so well together. I saythat not just as romantic partners, but as the famous dynamic duothey are. It’s how I built the dynamic of Chrom and Robin for mystory, anyhow. It’s a basis that allows Robins of all genders,personalities, and orientations to maintain such a strong bond withChrom while all being different characters. Because, hey, let’s faceit, the Robin starring in my story is far different from thetactician in the games! Yet, I still needed to convey that bondsomehow.

The game doesn’t have the luxury of afull blown plot like cinematic ones, but there’s plenty to see insupports and the main chapters. From that, I see two key pillars thatmake up the foundation to their success: loyalty and trust.

Robin embodies loyalty. They awaken onthe ground destitute of anything save for their name. No past and nopeople to turn to. Chrom shows up and asks for nothing in return, yetoffers Robin the world. A home, a sense of purpose, and a shoulder torely on. As the story progresses, that never changes. No matter whatrevelations come to light about their past, Robin is never turnedaway. For that, Robin’s loyalty to Chrom remains steadfast and true.No Emperors or Khans can bribe them away. No temptations of powercould sway their interests. Robin was given a gift to pursue a lifehowever they pleased and free of prejudices that may have driven themdown the worst of paths. Chrom saved Robin in more ways than what isobvious, a fact someone as perceptive and intelligent as Robin wouldunderstand, especially in late game. That loyalty is freely given andthe greatest of gifts Robin could offer in return. Because in doingso, it allows Chrom to rely on Robin in a special way.

That way is trust, Chrom’s greatestvirtue in the relationship. He enjoys a bit more freedom for a royalin that he can travel with his war band away from Court. However,he’s always under the critique of his title. There’s a wall thatprevents him from socializing and acting as he’d like. With Robin,there isn’t anything hidden between them. Robin’s loyalty towardChrom means they remain steadfast at his side. Robin will conversewith Chrom with no fear or inhibition. Chrom is not a prince, nor ishe on a pedestal, untouchable thanks to his lineage with Naga. Chromknows that Robin will always speak the truth with him and converse ona level that isn’t with tainted intrigues or appeals. Robin is alwaysgenuine and working to make Chrom’s goals come true. Robin isn’t aretainer, they are comrade-in-arms. They aren’t just his tactician,they’re his confidant. Chrom can let go of his mantle as prince andsimply be himself with Robin. I’m sure there’s no greater relief thanbeing free to act as he desires without the judgment of the Court andpopulace on him.

Players can fill in the events betweenchapters that form the little steps that build such rapport, but thegame provides the right time frame to do so. As a decision maker inthe alliance, Chrom is going to spend a fair amount of his wakinghours with Robin. Some days Robin is probably the first and last facehe sees. The two are going to talk, philosophize, and dream together.More than anyone, aside from his sisters and maybe Frederick, Chromis going to have very private moments with Robin. Ones where each canfreely share the darkest fears or tenderest wishes. There’s anintimacy that builds in those sheltered moments where the horrors oftheir reality fade away to a small world built only around the tentthey inhabit and the individual opposite them. In this time, they areat their most vulnerable. A bond is built that runs deeper than most.Combined with such trust and loyalty towards each other, I think itallows a type of love to form. It’s a selfless, unconditional onethat is universal and separate from others. In this, the foundationfor any type of additional attachments could form.

Romantic attachments would be ano-brainer for Chrom once he realized his own feelings. He has hisperfect partner already. There’s no doubt in his mind that acourtship with Robin would end in anything but marriage. With thepressure of Emmeryn’s loss and the fatigue of war, passion would burnquick and hot. However, because the strongest aspects of trust andloyalty have already been built, the relationship could only prosper,not flounder when the embers cool down.

Annnnyway, that about sums up my mostbasic thoughts on why the pairing is so strong. It’s not just aboutbeing romantically attracted to each other. There’s a whole separatelevel of strength the two draw from.  

(Also, “best friends to lovers” is afavorite trope of mine. I’d say it works just because of that ;)  )

[flawlesscharice]

Para || A Glimpse || 

Who: Charice, Trey Watkins 

Where: Charice’s House, Manhattan 

When: Saturday Evening 

What: We get an update on Charice’s life through a glimpse of her Saturday night

Charice was always working, always taking care of the kids, always taking care of her friends but tonight she had no one to take care of but herself. The kids were spending the weekend with Dylan and she had finished up a few meetings and emails early last night so she cracked open a bottle of wine, picked up her phone and made a call. Dating was never going to be her forte. She was never going to be great at it. She was a full time working divorced mother of 5 kids and she was just 28. She didnt have time for a man. At least that’s what she told herself when Trey Watkins walked into her life. He was a 6’2 tall drink of something model who she met during fashion week. She took one look at him and knew he was trouble. And after giving in to some shameless flirting and a kiss or two in Paris, she figured she would never see him again. And then he sent flowers to her office. And when she didnt respond, he sent more flowers until she had no choice than to tell him that she was a busy woman. She had fun with him but she had kids and a job and an ex husband. She didnt have time for a boy toy. He’d made it clear right off the bat that he wasnt a boy toy and he wasnt looking for some play thing either. He wanted pure, unadulterated love. Something that Charice had forgotten that she also wanted. So she gave him a chance. They went on a date and that date turned into a second date, which turned into a 7th date which eventually turned into them dating for 6 months. He was different than she was used to. He was kind and gentle and so funny she nearly peed whenever he made her laugh. And he respected that she put her kids and family before anything else. She was nervous to introduce her kids to a man when all they had known was Dylan. That was who they had seen her love and be with but with Trey it was different. She was nervous about how the girls would react. Especially Mariayah who still had a mean streak. So she was waiting for the right time to tell them that she was dating and falling for a man that wasnt Dylan. She would wait until a weekend when they were out of town and Trey would come over and spend the days with her, either in bed, on the floor, or wherever they landed after they got handsy. She thought things would slow down after dating for so long but nothing was slowing down, not yet anyways. And even better, her friends liked him. Santana wouldnt stop talking about how hot he was and Brittany would turn red whenever Charice would share the scandelous things they would do together. Even Chris was drooling whenever she brought him around. So everything was perfect. Except now, it wasnt. Because as much as she tried to forget that two people she loved the most had shut her out, she just couldnt. Trey came over and in an hour they were stripped, out of breath and sweating on her living room floor. Charice licked her lips and laughed, her eyes closed. “Am I a bad mom? My kids play on this floor.” “We’ll clean it up,” Trey smirked, sitting up and leaning against the couch. He gently caressed her bare leg and kissed the top of her knee. “You want some wine?” “Water,” she asked with a nod and watched him get up, not a stitch of clothes on him. She smiled in content, his muscular back glowing from the lights of the fireplace they were laying in front of. He looked just as good coming back as he did walking away, his confidence oozing off of him as he sat back down and handed her a bottle of water. He started to rub her feet, a small groan coming out of her mouth. “God, you treat me so right.” “Damn right,” he teased. “So wait, what was it you were texting me about yesterday. Your cousin was back in town?” Another groan. “Please,” she sucked her teeth. “I dont even know where to begin.” He nodded. “Well you told me about her dating your brother in law, which I’m pretty sure is incest.” “Shut up.” “And you told me that he was cheating on his fiancee with her and she disappeared but that was  it.” Charice nodded, taking a sip of her water. “That’s pretty much it. Except she came back. She was in Vegas or something with her ex-girlfriend and has been there for a year. I’ve been trying to talk to her, to reach out to her, anything. Cedes was like my damn sister. I loved her more than anything and she just dropped me like I was a bad habit… and then she had the nerve to come back and reach out to me for forgivenss. You believe that shit?” “Yeah… I do.” “What?” “Charice, you said her leaving was heartbreaking right?” Charice nodded. “So why wouldnt her being back be the opposite of that? Why wouldnt it be something that makes you happy? She left, yeah. And it was a bad bet but wasnt it you that told me you were over all the drama?” Charice say up, removing her feet out of his hands and cocked her head to the side. “This isnt drama Trey. They cut us all off because they’re fucking selfish. Look you dont know Sam and Cedes like I do. Their shit is nuclear and it sucks everyone in even if their lives are fine. And then we try and fix it and get our lives fucked up too. I’m over it. And I’m over them leaving and coming back and acting like shit’s clear now. Half of me is okay that she left. Like them being together is all kinds of bad news. They’re just the worst for each other.” Trey nodded, not meaning to upset her. He licked his lips and pulled her back over to him. “Come here, looking all mean and small. I’m not trying to step on your toes or nothing, okay?  I get it. Family is hard and they’re assholes sometimes but what do we have without family.” “More money, less headaches, less drama,” Charice listed, giggling as he kissed her neck. “No dummy, you’re supposed to say nothing,” he teased. “We need them, even if they are a mess.” Charice shook her head. “It’s her fault I have all these crazy ass white people in my family now,” she said, trying to hide her smile. “You love ‘em…. Nah but speaking of family… ” “Oh no,” she said, knowing where this was going and grabbing her blanket to wrap it around her. “Charice.” “I know where you’re going and you know where I stand.” “No, I know where I stand. I know how I feel about you. I know that I sneak around like a high schooler just to see you because you think the kids arent ready but Charice I feel like I only have half of you. I told you when we first started that I’m not in this for games and some ass every once in a while… no matter how good the ass is… but I want all of you. Even the parts you try to hide.” He reached over and tucked a stray curl out of her face. “You dont mean that,” she shrugged. “Men always say they want all of it. All of this but in reality all of my bullshit is insane. It’s not just kids it’s so much more.” “And I want it.” “No you dont.” “Hey,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. “I’m not him. I’m not your ex husband who’s gonna hurt you and lie to you and hide from you. Look, you’re not the only one in unfamiliar waters right now. I’m not used to this. I’m not used to falling for someone this fast but what I do know is that I want all of you. If you really think the kids arent ready then fine, I’ll back off but I need you to think about the fact that it might not be the kids that arent ready for someone new.” “What?” she frowned. “I’ve moved on with my life. I’m ready for someone new.” “Yeah in your life but maybe not in your kids life. Look the last thing i want is to step on any toes. Talk to your ex and see how you feel about introducing significant others to the kids. Then think about what that might look like. Really think about it because once I’m in there’s no going back for me.” Charice sighed, searching his brown eyes and kissed his lips. “You’re too fine to be this smart.” “Rude,” he shook his head. “I went to school for engineering okay? I just happened to get discovered making some extra cash on the side. It’s not my fault.” “Ya damn right,” she nodded. “It’s your parents fault. And God. God did this.” Trey smiled, his perfect white teeth and dimples making Charice swoon. “Stop looking at me like that woman.” “Like what?” “Like you wanna sit on my-” She cut him off with a kiss, smiling against his lips as he kissed her back. “Bedroom. Now.”   She got up, dropping her blanket and practically ran to the back of the house. “Yes ma’am,” he muttered to himself, getting up and following after her.