#I said this to my autistic friends and they fucking LOST THEIR SHIT

[a-groovy-beetle]

someone trying to flirt with archie and theyre like

"heyy so whats your type 😏"

and he's like

"i am actually not a pokemon. but water"

[ladyimaginarium]

i swear to g-d im& not even the jealous type but jfc i HAAAAAAATE this feeling when im& just lowkey like. who's :)))))) this :))))) bitch 👀👀👀👀🔪🔪🔪🔪 :))))))

[sillypilled-friendcel]

"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!

[major-floyd-and-lilia-simp]

TWST Characters as Shit Me, My Friends and My Gf Have Said™️ pt4

Just lost my job yesterday. These silly little things are keeping me sane rn.

Adding some none NRC characters now. (Really just Che'nya. My baby)

☆

Che'nya: I don't wanna work. I just wanna live

☆

Deuce when he was younger: Say that word one more time and Ill shove your nose so far up your ass you'll be smelling your breakfast twice*

☆

Idia: Considering your lifestyle, that makes sense.

Malleus: wait what does that mean?

Idia, also autistic: oh you're autistic I forgot.

☆

Malleus: He's not my type.

Leona: he's totally my type...autistic for some reason.

Lilia from fuck knows where: YA THINK?

☆

Azul, crying: I'm not a twink

☆

Jade on one of his hikes: you dont choose the slug life, the slug life chooses you.

☆

Rook, overemphasizing his accent: my american boyfriend

Vil, spinning to look at him very softly: ...what?

☆

Idia about a game he and Lilia play: she didn't have ambition thats why she isnt playable and why she fucking died

Lilia doing a whole spit take:

☆

Jamil: Hello, do you have a death wish? Because you do now!

☆

Che'nya popping in randomly: don't be surprised if your government betrays you!

☆

My friends' insane quotes keep me sane.

*this one isnt from my friend, but actually an Aventurine CAI bot and it was so fucking unhinged i love it.

[annimator]

OH MY GOD

OH MY GODDDDDD

(THIS IS THE BEST DC4 EPISODE, ARGUE WITH THE WALL. THIS POST ISN’T REALLY MY SUMMARIZED REACTION, AS MUCH AS IT IS ME RAMBLING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE ANARISSA, ZAIVY, & ESPECIALLY TRISTANNAH)

• I WAS SO HAPPY OVER ALL THE ANARISSA & ZAIVY CONTENT WE GOT

• LIKE WDYM THEY BOTH KISSED AROUND THE END OF BOTH OF THEIR MUSICAL NUMBERS (I don’t care’s my favourite song btw), WDYM THEY BOTH HAD ROMANTIC MOMENTS AFTERWARDS, WDYM BLUE MOON (Zaid & Ivy’s musical number. also Spencer was there) MAINLY CENTERS AROUND ZAID BEING IVY’S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR, WDYM ZAIVY’S KISS WAS PLANNED, WHILE ANARISSA’S WASN’T, WDYM MARISSA DIDN’T EXPECT ANA TO KISS HER BUT WASN’T COMPLAINING, SOMEBODY FUCKING SEDATE ME

• Also honourable mentions to Logan & Richard’s bond (I’m boutta SOB once one of them ends up getting eliminated, & so is most of the fandom now that I think about it), Trevor & Emily slowly rekindling their friendship & Spencer doing the family guy death pose lmao

• btw, THANK GOD THERE WAS NO ELIMINATION. I already had so much emotions thrown my way this episode, and literally every single elimination thus far got me feeling emotional

• Bro wait I need to elaborate more on those aftermath moments

• To everyone bitching about Ivy’s crash out, please shut the fuck up. Imagine creating something you envisioned as spectacular & perfect, only for people & critics to think it ISN’T.

• Then again, she’s kiiiinda being overdramatic with how she thinks she’ll be blacklisted for that performance. GIRL THAT WAS STILL PEAK

• ZAID’S HOLDING HER FUCKING HANDDDDD

• “I guess I just… wanna make people smile.” “Well, you’ve made me smile everyday here!” ZAID YOU SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER THAT WAS SO WHOLESOME

• “You’re hilarious. You’re kind…” “Go on.” FAWKKKKKKK

• “And… you really are a star.” “Thanks, Zaid” THEY FUCKING PRESSED THEIR HEADS TOGETHER AFTERWARDS OH MY GODDDDDD

• MARISSA KEEPS CALLING HER ANA OH MY GODDDD

• “I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll let you know beforehand.” “Oh? There’s going to be a next time?” “Oh, shush.” THE WAY THEY LAUGHED THAT OFF? AISFAIPFHWEPBGPWGPIWG

• alright, alright, with that out of the way… MY THREE FAVES CARRIED THIS EPISODE HARD OH MY GOD

• BENJI STRAIGHT UP YOINKED THE TITLE OF MY 2ND FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM ISABEL FROM THIS EPISODE ALONE.

• HE WAS HAPPY TO GEEK OUT WITH JADE ABOUT HIS FAVOURITE SUPERHEROES I LOVE HIM

• “Thanks for the confidence boost. People don’t usually appreciate my… goofiness.” LOOK ME IN THE EYE, AND TELL ME THIS BOI ISN’T AUTISTIC OR AT THE VERY LEAST AN AUTISTIC ALLEGORY

• ALRIGHT BEST BOY OUT OF THE WAY, Y’ALL KNOW WHO I REALLLLY WANNA TALK ABOUT IF YOU’VE SEEN MY DC4 POSTS

• WHERE DO I START WITH TRISTAN & HANNAH THIS EPISODE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

• THAT SCENE? AROUND THE START???? IT WAS LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THAT SCENE WHEN THE TRAILER DROPPED

• THE WAY TRISTAN FELT BAD FOR VOTING DIEGO BECAUSE OF HIM BEING HEARTBROKEN FOR SPENCER, AND THEM APOLOGIZING TO HANNAH OVER NOT VOTING SPENCERAIFBPIAGQE

• “And you losing… both of your friends so fast? I mean, if I lost Ivy & Zaid like that, I—… Doesn’t. I’d just do what I always do, you know? Um, keep smiling.” “You don’t have to, you know?” “Yeah, I-I know. It’s just… it’s made all the dark shit in my life so much easier to handle.” “Sometimes shit happens, Tristan. It’s ok to let yourself sit in it.” “Sit in… shit?” “…Sounded better in my head.” YEAH. THEIR CONVO WAS THAT GOOD THAT I HAD TO COPY PASTE MOST OF IT

• AND THE SCENE ENDED WITH THEM CHUCKLING AS THEY SAT LOOKING OUT INTO THE WATER TOGETHER FUCK OFFF (/pos)

• OK BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT IDC BEING MY FAVOURITE SONG FROM THIS EPISODE. BECAUSE IT IS

• IT’S LITERALLY AN EMPOWERING SONG SANG BY FOUR PEOPLE WHO WERE DEFINIETLY RIDICULED APPEARANCE &/OR PERSONALITY WISE ABOUT HOW THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT OTHER THINK OF THEM AND IT’S FUCKING PEAK DUDE.

• LITERALLY BEST FOUR PERSON DYNAMIC ON THE SHOW BESIDES NAT, ISA, ANA, & MARISSA. I LOVE JADE, TRISTAN, HANNAH, & BENJI AS A GROUP BRO

• Remember that Benji quote I mentioned earlier? He said that to Tristan, and after he talked about people not appreciating his goofiness, Tristan replied with AND I QUOTE; “I think they’re missing out on a lot of fun then.” AND THEN BENJI HUGGED THEM

• THEY’RE SO RIGHT. I LOVE THEM SM

• also I ship tristan x hannah x benji now. idk their shipname, but their dynamic’s really great after this episode, and I hope that they miraculously become canon. Tristannah’s still my favourite ship overall, and if the three of them don’t become a poly couple, I’ll settle with them becoming a thing

• Tristan noticing Zaid & Ivy having a moment & walking away made me sad. Poor enby :(

• I LEGITIMATELY WASN’T EXPECTING ANOTHER TRISTANNAH MOMENT THIS EPISODE, AND IT STARTED WITH HANNAH CALLING THEM “TRIS”

• THEY LAUGHED OVER SMTH TOGETHER AAAONAIFEAUOB

• “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel a little left out.” “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you. stand out way too much for that.” “Thanks, barkeep, but still, I… I’ve been feeling like the third wheel, and… I’m not exactly the ‘white picket fence, two-and-a-half kids, golden retriver’ type of person here.” “Cause you’re something even cooler.” “Maybe I… should take your advice and, um… What was it you said? ‘Sit in shit’?” LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CONVOS FROM THIS EPISODE. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON TRISTAN ALSO GIVING HANNAH A NICKNAME & HER SMILING WHEN IT PANNED BACK TO HER

• I already mentioned this in prior posts; like in my post about all the audition tapes & in the trailer reaction post, but Tristan & Hannah mean a lot to me. I see myself a lot in the both of them; they both have upbeat personalities, & I share Tristan’s beliefs on choosing to keep smiling as the world turns regardless so much, Hannah’s a Filipino-Canadian & Bi, Tristan’s Non-Binary & is implied to be Pansexual, and for a show that I genuinely love with all my heart to have TWO characters that I feel very seen with being given the spotlight makes me so happy

• I’ve also recently gotten the feeling that I might be on the autism and/or adhd spectrum, so Benji being an implied autistic character is really great. Plus he’s a dork/geek just like me so y’know :D

• SO YEAH, PEAK EPISODE, PEAK CHARACTER MOMENTS, PEAK MUSIC, IT WAS ALL FUCKING PEAK

[hel-phoenyx]

Meili belongs to @azeler

You know sometimes when you're the golden child of a damn bougie family with monthly meetings with other right-wingers factories, you don't have much choice but to go.

Plus the evening was at the folks so I didn't have much choice. Mom explicitely told me that if I wasn't there I would get a cut on my allowance, and sadly I still depend on them to get by. Plus, I couldn't let Kriss alone. She needs someone to defend her when they start insulting her husband or try to turn the kid against them.

So I went. And it went as I expected. Profundly boring, full of racist, misogynist and homophobic upper-middle class fuckers, with at least good tasting alcohol. I would rather have been anywhere else but here, but you know, getting hammered on high-quality champagne does have its perks.

And Meili was there so the evening wasn't completely lost. I asked him if his parents forced him, but he told me he came on his own accord. Yeah right. For the sake of our friendship I'm not gonna believe that.

I don't remember much about the evening per se. Like I said, getting hammered with expensive alcohol does have its perks. But I do recall some games between the men, an argument started between Kriss and my uncle about how she chooses to dress the kid (a pink shirt. Oh the blasphemy.) and Meili joining in, but not in the side I was hoping for.

Him, too, was completely hammered. Usually he keeps silent on the matters when I'm here. Probably because last time I almost cursed his whole family out and was very close to hitting him with the prosthesis.

Back to the matter at hand.

Of course I started shit. Of course I told him that the color of a kid's shirt is none of his business and he shouldn't care that much about clothing. When we brought the argument to a secluded room, I even told him that him of all people should know about what turns kids gay and it certainly wasn't the existence of pink in a toddler's life.

That may or may not have played a role in the reason why I am now waking up naked and with my bed absolutely not empty.

More may than may not.

I look to my right. Back hurts, I have a hangover bigger than my future, and some of my muscles feel sore even though I was supposed to get a good night of sleep. And, of course, as if I wasn't having enough problems, Meili is asleep next to me.

Gr-eat. Like I needed to fuck a friend that is not even aware he's not straight and is starting to drift apart from us because he's on the pipeline. This is not at all gonna be messy.

Not. At. All.

Nooooooooooooo.

Gods above my head hurts. I better get my hangover special case in the nightstand. Paracetamol and water, some sugar to have a little kick, or a bottle of rhum to suppress the hangover in another way if needed.

Yes, I may be an alcoholic. No, I have other problems to care for before trying to fully sober. Therapist is fuming but I really can't deal with withdrawal in the middle of a thesis.

Jesus fuck, the more I wake up and the more I remember. I would rather bury that with the rest, but the heat of his body is still gripping to my skin. I hate how soft it feels. It shouldn't.

Anyway. Can't get drunker in that situation, so I take the medicine and the water and waits for it to take effect. And put on something. Ironic of me to say that considering what booze made me do, but I really don't wanna have this conversation naked.

As I reach my shirt, that of course was thrown very far away, I hear something move on my bed, and a bedhead lifts from the pillow.

"What the hell..."

"Morning, sleeping beauty," I sigh, mentally bracing myself. "Before you ask, no, I don't remember the specifics of what we've done last night, but I guess you can get the whole picture."

He blinks. Look at his naked body. Covered in burns and scars. Gods I still remember how they felt under my fingers. Damn brain.

And then he turns his head towards me, eyes full of an unidentifyable yet extremely strong negative emotion. Hey, I am a diagnosed autistic since I got into the PhD, I can't identify feelings easily.

"What the hell, Tyrfing ?!"

"Using the full name, how brutal. I guess you're not very happy, either."

Can't show how badly it hurts. Can't show my name in his mouth stings like a blade. Is it really so bad that you stopped being my friend ?

He looks at his body frantically, run his hands on it, on the scars, on the skin, with the panic of a man that can feel the memories. Before searching for his shirt that I recall throwing far away in my room.

I turn around while he gets out of bed and grabs his clothing. Don't need to add to the embarassment, especially considering he has to put on his prosthesis first.

"... What did you do to me ?!"

And here it starts.

I roll my eyes.

"We were two for that, idiot. I may have been drunk but I remember you jumping on my bones first."

"Yeah right. You must have done something. I'm not gay, asshole."

Was expecting this, but still, sure took a hit.

Calm. Be nice. I know more than anyone his kind of upbringing fucks people up. I can't show how bad the looks of contempt feel right now.

That's my friend, goddamnit. I don't usually fuck my friends, yes, but still, I don't need that to completely ruin our relationship. He's on a dark path. He needs people that can help.

And I need my friend, too.

"Meili, can you please try to not insult me while you're panicking ? What's done is done."

"... And I'm trying to process, jeez ! For the last time-"

Not gay, yes. I know. If I was really mean, I would throw in your face how you looked at Kaizarz, back then. I can't forget the longing on your face. It made me so fucking pissed at the time, one more reason added to the rivalry. Today it just makes me melancholic.

Finally, he takes a deep breath, finishes dressing up. I guess he feels a bit better now that I can't see the scars, now that he thinks he look normal.

"Feeling better ?"

He looks at me. Looks at his body.

"That was a one-time thing."

"Glad we're on the same page."

"I'm not-"

"Not gonna argue with you on this one."

He stays silent a long time. Sighs.

"We're not mentionning that to the others. Ever."

I expected as much. I too, am perfectly content with burying that far, far away in my mind and act like that night ever existed. Plus, if I say one single world about now knowing Meili's body in a more intimate way than anyone I know, I would never hear the end of this, I know Domi would have at least three new jokes a day. Without talking about Kriss.

Yeah.

Perfectly content with that.

It doesn't feel heavy at all.

[random-fandom-chaos]

Vent

TW: sucidal ideation, Uhh SA (? Does it count if it’s another Minor?) Uhh random shit just be warned, ima gonna get judged so so so so hard.

Most people say that “when you’re a teenager is when you being to mature” NO. I was fucking 4…FOUR and my older cousin (only 9 years older) TRIED TOUCHING ME. LIKE THANK GOD MY MOM WAS THERE AND SHE WENT IN THE ROOM. (He’s nice, he didn’t remember/Forgot about it I think. I’m on good terms with him. I just hate knowing that this was also kept a secret from me because of my mom) AND his younger brother (same age as me) after that when were ages 4-6 he touched me but worse like he called it “playing house”, I didn’t know I didn’t know it was anything bad and I don’t mind, I fucking encouraged it at this point, because I thought I was normal. I WAS FOUR FOR GODS SAKE. And my mom said to forget about it cuz he’s autistic…(I’m also on good terms with him he forgot I think or just doesn't talk about, he’s cool. And I remember his clearly. Because that’s when it was explained that it was wrong.)

BUT GODS SAKE. I KNOW REALIZE HOW DISGUSTING IT IS. I HATE IT I HATE LIFE.

…

what’s life’s meaning? I feel so horrible about myself, disgusted

it’s so fucking hard being the “gifted and perfect” kid. My parents say it’s cause they want me to do good in life, I don’t doubt it. But there’s something else, I feel like they’re using me my brother never got good grades always failed skipped school. And yet I’m “gifted” if they argue with him, I’m always taking my brothers side. Because he doesn’t deserve being treated wrongly, he tries his best.

I don’t want to live.

I feel so fucking selfish just venting.

I always have energy, I could be dancing, hearing my friend talk about their interests. Yet i wand to kill myself. I always do what my body tells me, not what I want to do. I don’t know how to feel really

I lost my first few friends at a new school because of simple misused wording, I needed a break from them, they were leaving me out. I said I didn’t want to be friends— then they ran up the stairs. They hate me. Even if they’re friends with my best friend, I don’t talk to them, they talk behind my back blaming me for this incident…yet…I can’t bring myself to blame them back. They’re wonderful people that deserve things, i opened up to them, because they are so cool. Yet I got betrayed. I don’t mind tho. My best friend could stay friend with them, as long as they still for me too, even that’s a stretch, But who am I to tell them not to be friends for my own selfishness. I’m not that bad of a person. Everyone has their own opinion. Everything alright! (Not it’s not.)

who cares? Who actually cares? So many people say they do. But I feel empty. I feel disconnected. I don’t have energy. But I try.

I don’t want people worrying. Because they have problems already. Why am I being selfish and asking for precious time they could be using just to spew out words? What’s wrong with me?

many people may think I’m Kai right now or something. No I’m fucking Chaos, Heh, all these words are so funny coming from an 11 year old right? so so funny.

and so so useless.

…

I always have energy, and I’m never serious. I hate that. I feel judged for that. But I can’t control it its my damn body! I hate it so much.

I hate life.

(END)

Omg, that felt good also to whoever read all of that thank you I will bombard you with happy things, this is really negative and I’m so sorry, but I had to get this off my chest, I know I’m going to get judged because of the first paragraph. But it’s something that happened to an unknown me, I’m sorry for all the negative I will be posting silly reblogs to take the depressing mood away.

love you all <3333/platonic)

-Chaos

[meowmeowriley]

Hi costume anon here!

How dare you so accurately call out my daddy issues and socially awkward arse 😖 (/j)! I would make a terrible Fire Lord but it’s good to know all those years of projection paid off, though now I’m head canoning Zuko as autistic (what have you done to me is this revenge?)

I personally want a Bloodborne tattoo oneday ngl though the outsiders mark is cool as fuck

I love your brain you have changed my view on the logistics (?) of how it would all go down!

Just imagine Ghost returning to systematically tear apart and destroy Dunwall like it was the Zaragoza cartel after he escapes to Karnaca and his family ended up paying the price for his “Treason”.

He becomes “the Outsiders Ghost” fully devoted to and for him people start whispering about what happened in Dunwall about how a dead man got revenge and how Rats and whale song swallowed an entire nation. Never anger the Outsiders lest his Ghost starts haunting you. (I love Spooky shit.)

Oh no! I made my friend rewatch DP That’s rough buddy (I regret nothing)

Speaking of DP, Gaz is a walking wifi modem and Soap is a portable power bank for his devices 😂 they stick to Ghost like glue on hot days you can not change my mind. The 141 would have the most terrifying reputation even though they’re all idiots.

Soap %100 has caused a black out and Gaz “accidentally” locked a general he didn’t like out of his house after he made Laswell and price mad.

Do you think Ghost would have to deal with the actual ghosts of soldiers would Soap and Gaz pick up on them too?

I can’t remember who said it but they head canoned Soap as lightning and ghost as rain and it changed something in my brain chemistry, good apart awe inspiring together (They were so right) and now I can’t get Sparky boom boom man out of my head I may need to rewatch atla.

Have a great day while I go off and try to regain my lost honour!

Hiiiiii Costume Anon! Thank you for gracing us with your presence!

Autistic!Zuko headcanon drop when friend? I wanna hear all his lil quirks and habits.

Thinking of FromSoft games, I've been thinking about an Ellen Ring AU. Idk if people would want it, but I just keep thinking about it. Ghost as the Tarnished, Soap as Ranni, Gaz as Melina. And it'd loosely follow my own playthrough of the games. Outside of Elden Ring, Bloodborn is my favorite of their games. It's so gooooodddd.

Even long after a believable lifespan has passed, rumors of The Outsider's Ghost doing his bidding circulate. Some believe it's an actual Ghost, others say he's The Outsider's lover that was granted eternity to be by his side. Either way, The Outsider and his Ghost are only mentioned in hushed whispers for fear of invoking their wrath.

DP AU, the 141 has a reputation for shit going sideways for their enemies before they're even on the base. Terrorists start resorting to defenses that don't rely on power or the internet because they see how effectively the 141 shuts that shit down. It doesn't help, their guerilla tactics don't effect Ghost. The team absolutely deals with the ghosts of fallen soldiers, but not as often as you'd think. They tend to stay where they died, or cross over, or go back to their families. Some though, will use their newfound deadness to be menaces, and those are the ones our boys deal with. Think Skulker or the Box Ghost, those types of problematic guys.

Duuuuude Sparky Boom Boom Man had such a cool bending ability. Personally I'd want to be a water bender, but fire bending is still the coolest form.

Good luck with your honor my (non gendered) Prince! Thanks again for humoring me 😁

[herbalyeen]

I'm not admitting who I am I don't want people to know I specifically did that. 😭 Thats so fucking weird of that guy. Won't attack you because you were a dumb kid obviously. If anyone ever told me that I'd kms holy shit. But no the dude I dated was the worst fucking guy I could've possibly gotten with as a first relationship. I was an idiot and didn't think to dump his ass when he started hitting on others and telling me he'd get with my friend if they ever came out as bi. HE STARTED DATING A 13 YEAR OLD AFTER WE BROKE UP. WE WERE BOTH 17. He also posts thirst traps on tiktok It's awful how I did bag this guy.

Yuckkk

It’s okay my worst ex turned out to be homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynist and extremist conservative. I asked why he first asked me out and his response was “you got a mom bod.” He said I don’t look autistic and to not tell his friends that or else they’d make fun of him. He unfortunately took my virginity and he never used condoms because “it doesn’t feel as good” and then later after he told me “if I ever had sex with a girl it’s in the intent to get her pregnant.” Had the worst pregnancy scare for like 2 months, lost a few pounds bc I couldn’t eat thinking about it.

He uhhhhhhh saed me a few times- I was terrified of him. All this was when I was 17 so my senior year. Youre good man!! I got a handful of bad exes too

[painfullymeta]

Warning: I'm Gonna Be Earnest Now

I am deep in my feels right at the moment so I am actually making a post of my own on this, the deep in my feels hellsite.

I am late GenX.  (Not quite what gets called Xennial IMO but definitely in what gets called the Oregon Trail (Micro)Generation.)  And for all you young whippersnappers, you have to understand "The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.” ( - L. P. Hartley)

I am old enough to remember when AIDS was named GRID.  ("Gay-related immune deficiency.”)  I am old enough to remember ACT-UP, the Reagans’ abandonment, “If I die of AIDS just leave me on the steps of the FDA”, all those things that tired older people on tumblr try to remind people of when the TERFs come around to tell us to stop saying “queer” as if Queer Nation was a goddamn hallucination I had when I was a kid.

On the last day of high school, after the last exam, when none of us would have to ever see each other again if we so chose – that was the day that one of my friends, someone I had eaten lunch near every day since partway through freshman year, said to me “I have something to tell you.  I’m gay.”  And then he followed it up with “Is that okay?”

I hugged him.  He broke my goddamn heart and I hugged him.  "Is that okay," he asked me. Is it okay to be who I am, near you.

I was in college before I met someone who identified herself as a lesbian — and I went to a women’s college until I lost my shit and dropped out, and I expect that if I hadn’t done that I might have gone longer.

(Of course at the same time as I was clueless and not meaningfully connected with any sort of queer culture I somehow wound up with a friendgroup who, if we got bored and couldn’t come up with anything else to do, would watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show together.  This is what we did instead of going to Homecoming.)

By 2000, I was vaguely aware of trans things existing, and in fact met my first trans person while at Brighton Pride that year, though we didn’t really speak (I was there as the guest of some people in his extended social group) and I was vaguely confused and too awkward to try to do more than ‘observe and try not to fuck this up’.  I met a nonbinary person for the first time around then as well, and zie was the only one I knew of for nearly a decade.

By the mid-oughts I was with it enough to ask someone what pronouns she wanted me to use for her before sharing something about her on a message board.

(I am also old enough to have spent time on multiple message boards.  I’m old enough to resent the internet going through the world wide web instead of email and usenet actually.)

Sometime in the early oughts I guess I was at the subcommittee hearing in the Boston State House that was discussing, among other things, whether we might consider possibly condescending to allow same-sex couples to marry.  I was even going to testify!  (Please be impressed with my early twenties autistic ass I was terrified.)  There was a guy there - a senator on the committee - who was asking every person who came up if they were going to force his church to marry the gays.  Catholic, y’know, this being Massachusetts.  I revised my speech in my head to note that if we weren’t forcing the Catholic churches to marry divorcees yet he didn’t need to worry about it.

(Then my nose decided to haemhorrage all over my entire life and I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding so rather than testify while looking like an entire murder victim I went home.)

I was in my thirties when pregnancy-induced dysphoria made me start seriously thinking about my own sense of gender.

I was in my forties before I bought a binder.

I am from another fucking planet.  (The past is a foreign country.)

I know kids - multiple kids - who knew enough to identify as lesbians at an age younger than I think I knew that word.  (And I am one of those humans of freakish and unreasonable vocabulary and always have been.)

I crack jokes with one of my kids about the Queer Kids Stairs at their school, because that’s where the GSA kids hang out together after activities get out.  (While GSAs were around while I was a kid, they started in Massachusetts according to Wikipedia and that is not where I was when I was a kid, and to my best recollection I didn’t hear about them existing at all until I was an adult.)

I live in a world where my social circles include queer people of my generation, of older generations, of younger generations, and oh my gods, I look at the kids and my heart tries to explode.

My oldest knows more than one trans kid.  More than one *affirmed* trans kid.  (And we’ve talked a bit about the social dynamics that might make it more likely for the trans boys to be out than the trans girls, even now.)

And I’m writing this because of one of those trans boys, who is in the Coming of Age group at our church, and who is, apparently, in his credo, citing that thing I’ve seen on the tumblrs more than once, about how being trans means being a participant in the holy, divine process of creation, coming into being as himself.

And guys?

I’m not from the same planet as that kid.

Because I’m in my forties and I don’t even know what I’m creating.  And I’m terrified.

And here’s this kid coming out there with that as a core statement of belief that he’s prepared to stand up in front of, as the phrase goes ‘God and everyone’, to claim.

(I need to remember to talk to him about how in my Craft tradition there’s a canonically transmasc god.)

I know I’ve got at least two teenagers reading me and I just.  Y’all got this.  I know it’s hard and the world is scary and it’s fucking coming for us all but you are amazing and I am so full of inarticulate alexithymic feelings about all of you. The ones I know and the ones I don't.

We've come a long way from "Is that okay?" and you heal my broken heart.

[chroniclyst]

tvc masterpost

the venus cycle, lovingly nicknamed "vgb" (vee gets bitches) is the trilogy my wife @deadhorse77 and i are writing together. it centers on the town of halcyon's hythe where, when new people arrive, they completely forget that they were ever from anywhere else, and their history molds itself to fit the city. it's also about a bunch of trans people who all kinda suck in their own way and end up in the worlds worst polycule, with one shared daughter!

---

characters

vee/venus | they/them

one of the two narrating characters, they are the catalyst and the story begins with their arrival to the city. what they don't realize makes them special is that they remember their life beforehand, and instead they focus on situating themself in the lives of everyone they meet. with their arrival, the narrative dominos begin to fall. also, they're a whore and get involved with everyone else.

the chronicler | he/him

immensely private, TC keeps his name hidden from everyone. the other narrating character, he seeks to puzzle out the mystery of the city. while he doesn't have any personal memory of his life before the city, he's aware of the effects it has on its inhabitants memory. additionally, he's prone to stalking the "people of interest" of the city, trying to figure out what their role in the story is. loserly academic vibes, like a jon sims who doesn't even have the archives going for him. he has the looks of a depressed english professor and the soul of a whore for fucking real.

paris | he or she (not simultaneously)

titled the scholar by TC, paris is a nosy bitch who wants to know everything about everything and everyone--and knows pretty damn close to it. part fairy, and takes advantage of that extended lifespan to spend more time studying at the city college and to get into everyone's business. if you want to know something, paris is your fairy. also, he's genderfluid, swapping pronouns accordingly!

the oracle/sybil | fae/it

while the most obvious trait about it is faer gift of prophecy, sybil has many other skills, like being a bitch to basically everyone it meets. fae're the other fairy in our main cast, and sick to death of humans who want to get their futures seen.

jax | they/them

a member of the city police force, the detective is about as corrupt as it gets. they're violent, angry, and use their position of power to get away with everything. as an unfortunate blow to their credibility, they're also convinced that there's demons in the town, and that they'll be the one to catch one. also, they're down bad for the king.

the king | re/rem

like TC, the king keeps rheir name close to rheir chest, as well as a plethora of other secrets. from any surface level perception, the only things re cares about is gaining more money and more power within the city, as well as a certain member of rheir staff. don't look deeper than that, you probably won't like what you find.

the ram | arieself

part of what you'll find when you look deeper, the ram is the king's bodyguard. fully controlled by the king, air is rheir "pet project". immensely volatile and simultaneously a doormat in the face of the king's power. eventually, air will be able to come to terms with aries own power, but that time is far off still.

petra | they/them

said certain member of the king's staff, petra generally does not give a shit about the situations unfolding around them. they view most people on a spectrum of neutrality to dislike, and are deeply apathetic. also they have low empathy autist swag!

mama/eudora | any (written with just they/he/she for convenience)

eudora, fondly nicknamed "mama" by most, is the caretaker of the weeping girl, and a deeply caring person with a tendency to take lost souls under their wing. he's a mom friend to her core, and also? that's a fucking MILF babyyy!

the weeping girl | she/her

the heart of the city, though most don't know it. a very long time ago, she was cursed into becoming a statue, forever crying. the fountain her tears create has healing properties, and her slumbering life force shields the city from outside forces.

-

while none of these characters know it yet, with vee's arrival everything they've known is on the brink of change. lives will be destroyed by their fun and flirty personality (joke + reference)

---

relationships

here's the relationship quilt, because everything is too complicated for a normal chart (it's read in rows, so the first row is how vee feels about the people in each column, second row is tc, etc) ("spade" refers to the concept of kismesis from homestuck)

---

asked and answered

on the ram

on paris and tc

on tc

on vee as the catalyst

on tc

on paris and jax

on sybil and loneliness

more veeposting

on vee and guilt

on vee and tc

on tc and some of his struggles

on tc

on jax and vee

on the ram

more tc

sybil

the king

---

art nexus

reference masterpost

tc & vee

tc

vee (color palette style)

tc & the king

---

uquiz

---

anyways please ask the both of us about this. we love to talk about it and we have such a beautiful autism about our ocverse.

[section-69]

Okay Destination Trek notes! First here's what I really liked:

- Everything was SAG compliant and there was so much important strike talk. Obvs this made some questions impossible to answer, and it was slightly hard to predict what would be wrong to say just since different actors had different comfort levels (big range from "I support my comrades but I'm not gonna pretend I'm not in Star Trek" from David Ajala to J G Hertzler encouraging us to threaten media executives with [COPYRIGHTED SPACE WEAPON] to Terry Farrell not wanting to mention working on TV or film at all), but honestly it just made the whole thing really friendly

- on that note, multiple guests said it was the best convention they'd been to in years. I don't have a lot of personal experience with them, but I was talking to a lot of older fans and many of them said this felt a lot like the early days of conventions which were also set in hotels

- being in a hotel made it a) more accessible (and there were So Many fellow disabled Trekkies to prove it!!), b) easier to hang out between activities, and c) just super personable. The guests could hang out in the bar with the fans, there were lots of comfy seats everywhere, and it was very easy to step away if something wasn't your speed.

- not being in London helps the vibes too

- not being Paramount affiliated made the tickets a bit cheaper (much appreciated)

- most of the activities were teamwork focussed. Initially I was a little freaked by that but actually it gave the whole thing a friendly social club vibe

- science talks! Community talks! Asking the actors questions about their lives and work outside of what they're most famous for! Stories we haven't all heard a thousand times!

- I'll make another post about the specifics of accessibility and why I liked this infinitely more than the official ones in London aircraft hangars, but I just really have to stress how important I found that here

- being fan organised and fan led, the focus was on us and how much we love this shit. I didn't find the old format Bad in this respect, but this really did hit different

- J G Hertzler is seriously the coolest person I've met. He stole my craft group's batleth and we couldn't be happier about it.

- So Many Cool Cosplays!!! Shout out especially to the drag queens, the older man cosplaying Admiral Janeway, the Voyage Home Spock and inflatable whale, the power chair decked out to look like a shuttle, all the babies in uniform, the tribble queen in her tribble pelt dress, all the Klingons who didn't artificially darken their skin, the furry doctor from lower decks, all of the Borg, the Klingon pug with a plush batleth, and so so many others I'm forgetting ❤️🖖❤️

Notes for Future Cons

- If you don't already have access to it because of an expensive ticket, I wouldn't bother paying for the opening ceremony. It's not actually at the start of the event and also it's literally just the actors coming on stage, saying hi, then rushing back to the autograph tables. Do go to the closing ceremony though! There's way more of a point to those

- If you're not a huge extrovert, already drunk, or completely happy in awkward situations, I wouldn't recommend being the first in the door at the parties. Give it an hour or so - they sounded very lively later on, but when I tried to go in earlier the primary school disco vibes were off the charts. Plus the music's too loud to actually talk to anyone, and no one's dancing yet. I did see one guy run past with a portable charger for his friend in a wheelchair that lost power on the dance floor though, so clearly they got cooler later on lol. Addendum here that I'm an autistic non drinker so that might colour things.

- to the white folks darkening their skin for generic Klingon cosplays, reconsider that one next year

- to the white guy wearing brown face paint to cosplay Worf specifically, what the fuck, man??

- to the person who boo'd the mention of Julian/Garak at the LGBTQ+ panel, fight me but also maybe skip whatever the equivalent is next year cause Andy Robinson's booked to come

- host mocked Scottish accents a couple times :(

- here's hoping the unions will have their demands met and we'll be able to talk about Star Trek publicly with actors who can access healthcare and pay their rent. But if not, at least we know the con will still be fun.

- maybe see you in Blackpool next July 💙

[thatblondeperson]

Car Trouble Nightmare, Help Needed!

More details of one of the worst days I've had in a long time that will not end, under the cut. I really do need help, I feel like I'm going to cry.

On Wednesday 7/3 I went to San Jose for a friend's going away party. Party had been canceled and I was not informed, which honestly is whatever at this point. I went in to the bar anyway, had a glass of wine that someone bought for me out of pity, made new friends, sand some karaoke and started to drive home. There was a 5 car pile up on the highway that had people dead stopped, and after sitting in that for far too long, people were detouring and I followed. Got very lost. Started trying to follow signs that said "north". Finally got back on track and my car started overheating like crazy. Took the next exit and parked. Car was smoking. At this point, the sun was rising and I was exhausted. The lady who's house I was in front of let me charge my phone and she brought me ice water. I called AAA to row my car but our plan only covers 5 miles of free towing. It would be $1000 at least. Called my mom crying. She came to rescue me. While waiting a guy tried to offer help and then got weird about how cute my small feet were. Finally mom got there and we decided to tow to the nearest AAA repair place. Car would be stranded in San Leandro which is an hour and a half from home. But it got worse.

We got on the road. Stopped at taco bell so I could get some food in my system. Was okay for a bit but the sleep and food deprivation kicked in and my body started shutting down bit by bit. Heartburn came, headache, mood swings, and nausea. Mom also wasn't listening to me with the map and took a detour that she said she knew, then blamed the detour on me when it didn't work out and wouldn't drop it. Basically heckled me about it. Treated me like I was being a baby the whole way home while I was in pain, and only realized I was serious when I started having an autistic meltdown and the tics kicked in. Made it almost home in this awful state before I had to stop at Lowe's hardware store because I felt so sick. IBS had kicked in, and when I came back to the car, the taco bell promptly exited my body via throwing up profusely. It was enough to get me home but I still felt awful. Tried to clean off in the shower a bit which helped somewhat and then tried to lay down, but my body felt so uncomfortable. I was still habing an autistic sensory meltdown, but then I suddenly got really bad, and it felt like my blood was boiling and my hands were going numb. Called 911, paramedics cane and made sure I was okay, and thankfully it was just a wicked panic attack, but it took me like 36 hours to recover from that shit. Stayed at my mom's for a bit, and then on Saturday we went back to San Leandro, because I had jumped onto my dad's plan since he had 200 miles of free towing.

Soooooooo...AAAs policy is that the point of roadside assist is that they need to tow it to a repair shop. It's already at one, so they can't send a truck to pick it up just because. The only reason they can do that is if the repair place can't fix it. We'd have the free tow back home at that point but right now we're fucked. Car is stuck in San Leandro for the time being at the repair shop and since it's AAA, it'll be expensive. We wanted to go to our guy back home.

I went back today and they said it was fixed, the bill was over $1000 with the "just look at it" and "repair" fees combined, and I hoped that would be it.

Nope.

Car started overheating just 10 minutes into the drive home, and I had to turn the AC off just to get through the drive. Coolant tank is still bubbling, the engine smells burnt, and I am exhausted and wanting to scream. My car is my lifeline, I can't be without it and I can't afford a new one right now. I just need to get my car to someone more reliable, and hopefully things can actually get fixed. It may be more than what I'm asking for, but I just need a smidgen of help. Anything will help, I'm just so tired and so stressed and my body cannot handle another panic attack tbh.

[theravenflies]

My Takes

Consider these

People with personality disorders are not inherently abusive. Yeah, even people with NPD and ASPD (why do I have to say that?) There is no such thing a narcissistic abuse. People with ASPD are not serial killers. They are people, stop putting them down for no reason. People with personality disorders are welcome here. All of them.

Armchair diagnosing is bad. I don't care how shit someone is, if you call them a narcissist, a psychopath, a sociopath, a compulsive/pathological liar, or literally any other disorder that they haven't been professionally diagnosed with, you're a dick. You can't know what's going on in their head. You are not their doctor and are not qualified to diagnose them. And it's just a dick move to diagnose Casey Anthony as someone with a heavily-stigmatized symptom THAT I ALSO HAVE HAD

Stop. Tagging. Your. Writing. With. Disability. Tags. The PTSD tag is nearly unusable because everyone tags their fics as PTSD. Stop it. That space is not for you. It's for us.

People with intellectual, developmental, cognitive, whatever disability deserve to be heard.

As do semispeaking and nonspeaking autistics.

Yes, we do need to listen to caretakers, they're how some people communicate. No one is invalid because they're a caretaker, they're invalid when they're an ableist caretaker.

If the autism "cure" were to exist right now, it would mean eugenics. I don't give a shit if you want it, it would mean eugenics. Society is way too anti-autism for us to trust non-autistics with a cure. I won't get into my rant about the concept of a cure unless asked, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that if that cure is created, it will be forced on people, even those who vehemently oppose it, so it can't exist yet without putting people in danger.

Autism Speaks is shit. So is National Autistic Society. So is the Autism Society. ASAN is on thin fucking ice.

Stop tagging political posts with NPD, ASPD, compulsive liar, or no empathy. You're being ableist and armchair diagnosing. And putting that shit on our feeds.

ABA is bad. Yes, always. All of it. I lost a friend to ABA and I will not budge on this. All pro-ABA people will be blocked, I do not give a shit.

I do not care about syscourse. I am not a system and am not qualified to have an opinion on it.

If you point out typos, grammar mistakes, or whatever when the other person hasn't explicitly said it's okay, stop. You're being ableist.

Stop using TBI as an insult. Yes, I was dropped on my head (okay, I fell, but still,) as a baby. Fuck you too.

This is a safe place for systems and I'm firmly anti-Split.

Autistic and intellectually disabled people are allowed to transition, be queer, get tattoos, drink, have sex, whatever, should they so want.

Mental age is bullshit. He doesn't have the mind of a two-year-old, he has the mind of an adult with IDD.

The posts of disabled people are not an excuse for you to trauma-dump. I don't care what your ex did, that person with NPD wasn't talking about them and it's a dick move to bring that up on their unrelated post.

People should not have to work to live. No one. Ever. Period.

Healthcare should be free

Caretakers need to stop killing their disabled charges

Autism Mommies (TM) are shitty people.

Don't even get me started on Fathering Autism (bitch, you aren't fathering autism, you're fathering ABBY)

Disabled people deserve dignity and privacy. All of them. Yes, even those ones. We're still people. You don't need to know how we go to the toilet.

Fiction does not determine morality and sending people anon hate telling them to kill themselves is a shitty thing.

Telling people to kill themselves in general is a shitty thing. What are you gonna do if they actually do it and you get arrested for manslaughter?

Trans kids deserve to transition, intersex kids deserve to not be mutilated and forced onto HRT when they can't or don't consent, children can and will be queer

Actual sex education needs to be standard

Label policing LGBT+ identities is bad

Devotees and "transableds" are not allowed here

Children and disabled people deserve to exist in public, even if you don't like us

Stop. Saying. Retard. Stop using autistic as an insult. Stop it and go to hell.

I'm pro-choice and I know you don't actually care about fetuses with Down Syndrome, you're just trying to guilt me.

I will reblog with more takes as they occur to me

And, most importantly, listen to ALL disabled voices. All of them. Every single one. We stand together or we don't stand a chance.

[mibr1m]

hello im pathetically begging for deranged friends on tumblr pls read this‼️‼️

Hey, my name is jemma & I'm a 21 year old very mentally ill woman. I've recently moved from America to Germany for a number of reasons, and though I have a very lovely partner who I live with, ultimately I've sacrificed almost everything else to be here.

I have BPD, high (ish) functioning autism and severe medical OCD, which combined made me go through huge, very damaging mental episodes that lost me basically all that was left of my close local friends back home. They literally flat out said I was too unhinged to continue friendships, including one I'd had since I was 13. Through this, I started talking to my partner on a deeper level about mental health, found that we were extremely compatible, then moved to Germany to be with them, bc coupled with the looming threat of Project 2025, I really had nothing to lose but my less close friends who I was scared to face on a deeper level. I've been feeling extremely isolated, and very much missing my online friend circle I had in the early 2020's.

So, im now begging for more on tumblr :,) tho hopefully this is an appropriate place this time since I'm sorta tired of ppl being horrified when I share any leftist opinion ever lmao

If u yourself are also unhinged and in any similar situations to me, I'm genuinely extremely interested to hear from you. You can literally tell me every grizzly detail about whatever mental illnesses you have, I can promise you I adore finding ppl with the ability to understand and relate to these things on a personal level. dear god please I need fucked up friends to yap with at 2am

I like pokemon an autistic amount, love vocaloid and general emo related things, and I very much want to be an actress (or YouTuber or some shit literally anything creative I just want people to pay positive attention to me and those close to me)

I'm lowkey horrified that I'm being stupid & cringe but hey if this interests u my discord is in the attached screenshot 🥲

[worldseer]

A list of tweets I'd make if I had a Twitter and it wasn't a cesspool of bs

Levi Ackerman is Hozier-coded as a lover. No I will not elaborate if you do not understand.

Today's crisis: Am I autistic? The answer: My friends say I am.

"The sun and moon are lovers." No, it's the moon and the Earth. Sun's the fucking queen bee in Solar System High School. And yes, Jupiter is the fuck boy.

I don't think Hozier knew I would break beneath the weight of the fucking EMOTIONS I AM HAVING!

I saw a post today about how the inside of angels look like the messy wires of old computers and shit, and so my gender envy and catholic guilt decided to spit roast fuck me for an hour-

I got the autism that makes me memorize the most useless and horrifying facts known to man. How am I supposed to use that in the economy we have today? How will knowing that some ants enslave other ants help me in any way? Yes I just met you and you told me your name five seconds ago. No I don't remember it. Why? Sorry, I zoned out can you repeat everything you just said? Nevermind, just processed it all- what were we talking about? Right, the noises dinosaurs made-

People will tell me that babies are wonderful, like we all didn't see that giant baby thing from RE: Village and didn't collectively shit ourselves.

Sometimes I think I've gotten over the Catholic Guilt and then I get so much post nut clarity that I feel guilty and nearly research nunneries to join.

I think somewhere along the way, I got fucked up pretty bad because I don't think I should look at horrible things and think "would".

So far my 'hear me out' list contains Adam Frankenstein (the creature from the infamous Gothic novel Frankenstein) and Deadpool and all I've learned is that I do not care if a man has scars, as long as he looks like he has fat tits.

I've said I'm bisexual numerous times but I think the actual definition of what my sexuality is is that I am attracted to men who are in desperate need of therapy and women who would be mean to me. And an occasional monstrosity with vague gender.

This is the most boring fucking apocalypse ever. Where are the creatures? The ability to become unrecognizable? The eventual fate that all is lost and that I've become but a being of the forest?